Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2026)(EN)Subtitles

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1 00:00:27 - Okay, so, we open up,- Let's say that--
2 00:00:31 Are we gonna have any,like, sort of opening,
3 00:00:33 like when we get on stage,or are we just gonna go right
4 00:00:35 What I was imaginingwas dark stage.
5 00:00:38 - Yeah.- Backlight, okay?
6 00:00:40 They see, like, justa silhouette, okay? Of me.
7 00:00:44 I like it. Okay.
8 00:00:45 - With my head down.- Yeah.
9 00:00:46 And you're at the pianoand you start going...
10 00:00:48 Actually...
11 00:00:50 Like what?
12 00:00:51 No, no, no, no, no.
13 00:00:52 A little more opening--opening of a thing,
14 00:00:54 and I point, and this redlight turns on, and I...
15 00:00:57 And red lights go onall around.
16 00:00:59 Like that.
17 00:01:01 And then, like, boom!On my face.
18 00:01:03 At the audience, like that.
19 00:01:06 Good evening, folks.What you're about to see
20 00:01:09 is something you'venever seen before.
21 00:01:11 We are Nirvanna the Band.
22 00:01:13 And you are about to be sentto the moon!
23 00:01:17 And then, I do my two-step.
24 00:01:18 And this is just no talking,
25 00:01:20 just-- like they justget to watch me move.
26 00:01:22 Ah!
27 00:01:24 Hah! And womenin the crowd are like,
28 00:01:26 "What the fuck is this?!Who is this guy?"
29 00:01:31 You didn't knowthis was coming!
30 00:01:34 And then-- right then,break down.
31 00:01:36 - Boom!- Right in.
32 00:01:37 And then, you startright in the first song,
33 00:01:39 which is whateverwe feel there.
34 00:01:41 If the audience is screaming,
35 00:01:42 if they're like,"More, more..."
36 00:01:44 More opening then. We keep,like, playing to the audience.
37 00:01:46 I have a feeling,that right off the bat,
38 00:01:47 they're gonna askfor an encore.
39 00:01:49 - Okay.- I think they're gonna be
40 00:01:50 like, "Again, dothe intro again!"
41 00:01:53 Okay, so, here is the plan.
42 00:01:55 why does a club book a band?
43 00:01:57 - They play good music?- No.
44 00:01:59 - Draw in a good crowd?- No.
45 00:02:02 Okay.
46 00:02:04 - Flyers!- Huh.
47 00:02:06 Flyers that say what?
48 00:02:08 - Nirvanna the Band.- Okay.
49 00:02:10 Flyers that sayNirvanna the Band,
50 00:02:11 but what are theysaying to people?
51 00:02:12 Come see them where?We don't have a show.
52 00:02:15 Well, then we're--We will.
53 00:02:16 The point of this is to getThe Rivoli to book us, right?
54 00:02:18 Yeah, yeah. Okay, so we-- andwe'll have a picture of us
55 00:02:21 You know what?Let's make the flyers,
56 00:02:23 we play at The Rivoli tonight.
57 00:02:37 Jay, I got a feeling
58 00:02:38 things are going to work outokay for us.
59 00:03:00 Jay! I figured it out!
60 00:03:06 Whoo!
61 00:03:07 - Okay, so...- Whoa!
62 00:03:08 This plan is calledthe Seventh Inning...
63 00:03:14 Stretch.
64 00:03:15 ...Skydive.
65 00:03:17 Oh.
66 00:03:18 Step one:we skydive...
67 00:03:22 into the...
68 00:03:24 ...SkyDome.
69 00:03:26 Hold on, wait.
70 00:03:28 We, during a game, go upthe CN Tower...
71 00:03:36 I don't think you canget up to the very top.
72 00:03:38 Jump!
73 00:03:40 Into the open dome.
74 00:03:42 Whole crowd's gonna go insane'cause like, "What is this?
75 00:03:44 "Terrorist attack?"Actually, we're coming in--
76 00:03:47 We're gonna haveto have the peace signs...
77 00:03:48 - Okay, hold on, hold on.- ...as we float in.
78 00:03:50 - We land in there.- Then, I take the microphone.
79 00:03:54 Pretend this Orbitz bottle--Oh!
80 00:03:55 Do you knowwhat Orbitz are?
81 00:03:58 Pretend it's a microphone.
82 00:03:59 This is a novelty--you know what...
83 00:04:01 - It's our last bottle.- I...
84 00:04:04 - Do you know this drink?- Yes!
85 00:04:05 I take a microphone.
86 00:04:07 We've landed."Ladies and gentlemen,
87 00:04:09 "you're probably wonderingwhy we skydived here--"
88 00:04:11 skydove here?
89 00:04:13 "You're probably wonderingwhy we skydove here."
90 00:04:15 - Skydiven.- I don't think so. Skydived?
91 00:04:17 - Hmm.- It's skydived, right?
92 00:04:19 "You're probably wonderingwhy we skydived here?"
93 00:04:21 - Skydived.- I'm gonna just amend it.
94 00:04:24 "Ladies and gentlemen,
95 00:04:25 "you're probably wonderingwhy we're here."
96 00:04:27 Because the skydiving isimplied. They saw us do it.
97 00:04:30 What are you sayingto everyone?
98 00:04:31 Except for the blind people.
99 00:04:34 "For those of you who didn'tsee what just happened,
100 00:04:36 "we skydove."
101 00:04:37 - I'm in the same trap.- Tell me the plan.
102 00:04:39 The-- "A bolt of lightningin every bottle."
103 00:04:43 God, I miss this stuff.This might be the last
104 00:04:45 Okay, what is happeningwith the SkyDome plan?
105 00:04:47 Well, let's just...let's just do it.
106 00:04:50 "Ladies and gentlemen,
107 00:04:51 you're probably wonderingwho we are.
108 00:04:53 "We are Nirvanna the Band.
109 00:04:56 "And tonight, we areplaying for one night only,
110 00:04:59 "an exclusive engagement
111 00:05:00 "at The Rivoliat Queen and Spadina.
112 00:05:03 "We'll see youthere after the game."
113 00:05:06 And then, I'll vamp a bit,and be like,
114 00:05:08 "Little bit about us--"
115 00:05:09 You there in the stands.
116 00:05:11 Do you havea show at The Rivoli?
117 00:05:14 I'm actually asking that for me,actually. We don't have a show
118 00:05:16 - I know the answer.- I know, but don't you see?
119 00:05:18 So, we're telling everybody togo to a show that we don't have.
120 00:05:20 If you build it, they will come.It's "If you build it,
121 00:05:24 Right?
122 00:05:25 Are you sure thisis going to work?
123 00:05:27 This is gonna be the last planyou and I ever have to do.
124 00:05:30 And as far as I'm concerned,
125 00:05:32 we're playingThe Rivoli tonight.
126 00:05:40 ♪ Well,I thought about the army ♪
127 00:05:42 ♪ Dad said,"Son, you're fuckin high" ♪
128 00:05:45 ♪ And I thought, yeah, there'sa first for everything ♪
129 00:05:48 ♪ So I tookmy old man's advice ♪
130 00:05:51 ♪ Three sad semesters,it was only fifteen grand ♪
131 00:05:55 ♪ Spent in bed,I thought about the army ♪
132 00:05:59 ♪ I dropped out andjoined a band instead ♪
133 00:06:12 ♪ Grew a moustacheand a mullet ♪
134 00:06:15 ♪ Got a job at Chic-fil-A
135 00:06:18 ♪ Citing artisticdifferences ♪
136 00:06:21 ♪ The band broke up in May
137 00:06:23 ♪ And in June,reformed without me ♪
138 00:06:26 ♪ And they gota different name ♪
139 00:06:29 ♪ I nuked anothergrandma's apple pie ♪
140 00:06:32 ♪ And hung my head in shame
141 00:06:34 ♪ Oh...
142 00:06:39 ♪ Been thinking a lot today
143 00:06:45 ♪ Been thinking a lot today
144 00:06:51 ♪ Oh-oh
145 00:06:53 ♪ Think I'llwrite a screenplay ♪
146 00:06:57 ♪ Oh-oh
147 00:06:58 ♪ Think I'll take it to LA
148 00:07:02 ♪ Oh-oh
149 00:07:04 ♪ I think I'll get it doneyesterday ♪
150 00:07:08 ♪ Aw, shit
151 00:07:10 Take a good look, Jay.
152 00:07:12 This is the last time you'regonna see The Rivoli
153 00:07:15 - As a citizen?- 'Cause tonight,
154 00:07:18 We're playing the show-- We'regonna be loading in right there.
155 00:07:20 You'll have yourkeyboard under your arm.
156 00:07:22 Ah!
157 00:07:23 The girls takingyour picture.
158 00:07:24 The girls are not goingto be taking my picture.
159 00:07:26 Oh, yes, they will!
160 00:07:28 - You wanna bet?!- No, they're not!
161 00:07:29 Do you wanna bet they'regonna take your picture?
162 00:07:46 Hi.
163 00:07:47 What's behind your back?
164 00:07:48 - Good.- Uh, it's a parachute.
165 00:07:50 Actually,that's what this is for.
166 00:07:52 We need something that--like, that can cut through--
167 00:07:55 like, we're goingto be quite up high,
168 00:07:57 and I think they're going tohave a safety harness on us
169 00:08:00 or something like that.
170 00:08:01 And would snipperslike this,
171 00:08:04 would they be ableto cut through,
172 00:08:05 like, a kind of harness?
173 00:08:07 No... you ha-
174 00:08:08 What are you trying to dothough?
175 00:08:09 That's my question.
176 00:08:11 So, here's-- we are gonna beup on, um--
177 00:08:14 on the CN Tower, in one of--on the EdgeWalk,
178 00:08:16 Mm-hmm.
179 00:08:17 where we're wearingthe safe--
180 00:08:18 I think they puta safety vest on you,
181 00:08:20 and we need somethingthat can, like,
182 00:08:21 cut through the ropeor the cable on it.
183 00:08:24 Do you know what I mean?
184 00:08:25 Umm...you can...
185 00:08:26 But here's the thing -
186 00:08:27 you would shock yourself
187 00:08:28 because if you cut throughlive wire
188 00:08:30 you'll get electrocuted.
189 00:08:31 But-- Oh, I'm not cuttingthrough elect--
190 00:08:33 I'm cutting through fabric,I'm not cutting through
191 00:08:35 What happens if we're not evenallowed in the security with--
192 00:08:37 You will be actually caught.
193 00:08:39 I'm gonna say that I need--
194 00:08:40 Yes sir? Do you havedrywall compound here?
195 00:08:42 - I'm sorry?- Drywall compound?
196 00:08:43 Drywall compound:Two-forty-three.
197 00:08:45 Two-forty-threethank you.
198 00:08:47 But I think that--
199 00:08:49 You know what?I - Like, I -
200 00:08:50 I don't know.Ye-
201 00:08:51 Just...be careful, man.
202 00:08:53 Like, I seriously don't thinkit's worth it. Okay?
203 00:08:55 Right. But...
204 00:08:56 I, uh -I mean...
205 00:08:58 You have the freedom to do this.
206 00:08:59 I'm a Libertarian.
207 00:09:00 You have the liberty to do
208 00:09:01 whatever the fuck you want.
209 00:09:03 But that is -should I - believe...
210 00:09:05 as a... pers-sane person
211 00:09:07 I should, uh...
212 00:09:09 prevent you guysfrom doing shit like this.
213 00:09:11 But these will cutthrough cable, possibly.
214 00:09:14 If you really want it toit would.
215 00:09:17 Ah, I'm not going to tell youthis, man. I - I feel bad.
216 00:09:19 Like, I seriously don't wanna
217 00:09:26 Look, there's Spider-Man.
218 00:09:34 So, how do we get in here?
219 00:09:37 It might be a littletoo high, Matt.
220 00:09:39 Excuse me.
221 00:09:40 Is this the line toget into the CN Tower?
222 00:09:42 I think so.
223 00:09:44 Thanks a lot. I've got tojump off it, actually.
224 00:09:46 Where is your accent from?
225 00:09:47 Um, Brazil.
226 00:09:48 Nice to meet you. I'm Matt.How you doing?
227 00:09:50 - Hi.- Welcome to Toronto.
228 00:09:51 Thank you.
229 00:09:52 Enjoy your trip.Have a good time.
230 00:09:54 Okay. All right. So, we justjoin the line. Bye.
231 00:09:57 Matt,I'm afraid of heights.
232 00:09:58 Shut up.Hi. How you doing?
233 00:10:01 We're just going up the--we're just going up the tower.
234 00:10:08 Just put--Just put our keys in here?
235 00:10:10 - Sir?- Ope - this one?
236 00:10:12 How do I get in?
237 00:10:14 Oh, I'm sorry -is it okay if I bring this?
238 00:10:16 - It's a camera, but--- No you--
239 00:10:17 you can't shoot in here,you guys.
240 00:10:19 Oh, kay.
241 00:10:24 You got a cellphone on youby chance?
242 00:10:26 I have a wireless mic.Here.
243 00:10:28 And pack.
244 00:10:31 Okay.
245 00:10:32 Alright, you're gonna go.
246 00:10:37 Can you come back sir?
247 00:10:41 Is there anything else?
248 00:10:43 Oh! Oh, yeah,I have my clippers.
249 00:10:44 I have my clippers, too.
250 00:10:46 I have these... clippers.
251 00:10:47 Why do you have those?
252 00:10:49 Uh, I guess I just have them.I don't need them.
253 00:10:53 I'm just curious, like, why youhave them? I'm just -
254 00:10:55 Oh, they're for justcutting things off of my pants
255 00:10:57 and things like that.
256 00:10:58 - Okay, just one second.- Sure, sure.
257 00:10:59 Just give me like...just -
258 00:11:02 Go ahead.
259 00:11:03 I have a patronin my lane with a...
260 00:11:05 pair of pliers?
261 00:11:07 Uh just wondering if this isN.U.F.?
262 00:11:11 Why do they have it?
263 00:11:14 Uh, apparently for cuttingtheir pants.
264 00:11:18 We just have to ask, right?Like it's -
265 00:11:20 No, don't worry. Thankyou. Don't worry about it.
266 00:11:23 Go for it.
267 00:11:25 So you guys are okay.
268 00:11:27 You can go as well.
269 00:11:29 Thank you.
270 00:11:34 Are you ready to walk116 storeys above Toronto
271 00:11:37 with nothing but a harnesssecuring you?
272 00:11:39 Is that how highup we're going to be?
273 00:11:41 This is EdgeWalk--
274 00:11:42 That's not how high up we'regonna be.
275 00:11:44 Don't tell me that's how highup we're gonna be.
276 00:11:46 ...view of Canada'sbiggest city
277 00:11:47 and the knowledge thatyou have been truly
278 00:11:49 on top of the world.
279 00:11:52 Are you ready to step up andtouch the sky?
280 00:11:56 This one goeson the back,
281 00:11:57 this one goes on the front.
282 00:11:58 This one acts likea seat belt,
283 00:12:00 so, it will movewith you as you move.
284 00:12:01 Any sudden actions,it will lock up...
285 00:12:03 The pad will be bumpingyou on the back of the head.
286 00:12:05 Love that tap,
287 00:12:07 it means you are stillattached to the rail.
288 00:12:08 Just don't touch it.
289 00:12:17 And then, we actually hada citizenship ceremony
290 00:12:20 up there once, and we actuallyhad the judge wear a tux.
291 00:12:24 We even had proposalshappen out there.
292 00:12:26 What about the ring?
293 00:12:30 The skies are threatening
294 00:12:32 and you will be ableto see the SkyDome close,
295 00:12:35 as we are about to sayso long to the CN tower,
296 00:12:38 at least, visually.
297 00:12:42 My gosh, guys,
298 00:12:44 look at that beautiful view
299 00:12:47 that we haveright now hitting us, right?
300 00:12:49 Oh, my God, guys!That is a long way down!
301 00:12:53 Come and take a look, everybody.
302 00:12:55 Come and get it! Come here.There you go.
303 00:12:58 You go there. Exactly.
304 00:13:02 You're just walking aGuinness World Record,
305 00:13:05 EdgeWalk is the highestexternal hands-free walk
306 00:13:07 in the world...
307 00:13:11 - All right.- Uh...
308 00:13:13 Guys, take a lookall the way down.
309 00:13:15 Whoa, is that supposedto do that?
310 00:13:17 - It's perfect.- Okay.
311 00:13:19 I'm gonna moveto the front.
312 00:13:22 All right, everybody, now...welcome to EdgeWalk.
313 00:13:27 Right now, we are 356...
314 00:13:32 Bird -They're closing the roof.
315 00:13:36 Bird, the roof's closing.
316 00:13:42 Okay, okay.Okay we gotta go now.
317 00:13:43 We gotta go now.
318 00:13:44 It's the highestobservation deck
319 00:13:45 in the Western Hemisphere.I can see...
320 00:13:49 Okay.
321 00:13:50 I'm not ready!
322 00:14:05 Bird. Bird. Bird.
323 00:14:06 We gotta go now!We're going now!
324 00:14:10 Countdown!
325 00:14:12 Three!
326 00:14:13 Two!
327 00:14:14 ONE!
328 00:14:15 No, no!
329 00:14:38 Here we go!
330 00:14:40 The dome is closing!
331 00:14:42 We've got time!
332 00:14:45 Okay, we're coming in hot!
333 00:14:46 Oh, too much!
334 00:14:50 Oh, fuck!
335 00:14:53 Oh [bleep]!
336 00:14:59 Are you all right?Are you all right?
337 00:15:01 - Get [bleep] off of me!- Whoa! I'm trying to help you.
338 00:15:03 You pushed me offthe tower!
339 00:15:05 What, are you crazy?I thought I was going to die!
340 00:15:07 But you're okay.
341 00:15:08 - Oh my God! It's closed!- Yeah.
342 00:15:11 We didn't evenmake it in time!
343 00:15:12 Well, maybe there's away to open it. Let's--
344 00:15:14 So we almost died andthe plan didn't even work.
345 00:15:16 Oh my God.The plan is over.
346 00:15:18 You know what, we'regonna find another way inside.
347 00:15:20 It didn't work. Again!
348 00:15:25 ♪ Well, did you know
349 00:15:31 ♪ That I was one of thoseyou left behind ♪
350 00:15:33 ♪ You were up and gonewithout a goodbye ♪
351 00:15:38 ♪ They all said that you werenot the kind to stick around ♪
352 00:15:42 ♪ I only wish I'd knownthat it was time ♪
353 00:15:46 ♪ The evenings on the highwaycoming down to be with you ♪
354 00:15:50 ♪ I couldn't wait to eatyour home-cooked meal ♪
355 00:15:55 ♪ At nighttime,in the moonlight ♪
356 00:15:57 Well, that's ironic.What did I say,
357 00:15:59 "next time we see The Rivoli,it's gonna be..."
358 00:16:01 Oh, Jesus.
359 00:16:05 But you know what?
360 00:16:06 Maybe we still got time foranother plan. What, uh...
361 00:16:08 Excuse me.Do you know what time it is?
362 00:16:10 Uhh yeah...It's, uh, 9:03.
363 00:16:12 Thank you very much. 9:03?
364 00:16:15 Not a lot-- no. We got--
365 00:16:17 We got a lot of night left.
366 00:16:19 Uh, Bird?
367 00:16:21 Yeah, it's The Rivoli.
368 00:16:24 Bird.
369 00:16:26 Oh, Jesus.
370 00:16:27 Are you guys playing--
371 00:16:29 Are you guys playing the showtonight?
372 00:16:30 Yup.
373 00:16:32 Lucky!
374 00:16:35 What did you have to doto score that?
375 00:16:40 Did you see that?
376 00:16:43 Lightningjust hit the CN Tower!
377 00:16:46 Jay, isn't thatlike a bad omen?
378 00:16:47 We were just there.
379 00:16:54 Jay!
380 00:16:55 If you think about it,we were off by what...
381 00:16:58 Three minutes?Two minutes?
382 00:17:00 That's your classic--Whoo!
383 00:17:03 If we had a time machine,
384 00:17:04 we would have fixed that rightaway, do you know what I mean?
385 00:17:07 Oh, Bird, I got an idea!
386 00:17:13 Forget an idea.I think I figured it out.
387 00:17:17 Listen to this:time machine plan.
388 00:17:21 Bird,
389 00:17:22 we pretend to be fromthe future.
390 00:17:26 We build a-- Oh, my God.
391 00:17:28 We take the RVin the backyard,
392 00:17:30 deck it out likethe DeLorean in Back-- in--
393 00:17:32 yeah, in Back to the Future.We could build, like,
394 00:17:36 a fake contraption with like--what do they have?
395 00:17:38 The flux capacitorand all that stuff,
396 00:17:40 just like Doc Brown has.
397 00:17:42 It's like-- like, uh,dates and times,
398 00:17:45 in, like, um...analogue numbers.
399 00:17:49 And we hire an actorto pretend to be
400 00:17:53 a post office guy...
401 00:17:55 ...to um, deliver...
402 00:17:57 ...deliver a video, sayingthat it's from the past.
403 00:18:00 So, it's the past andthe future coming together.
404 00:18:02 That's when we show up,coughing,
405 00:18:03 we got the dry ice coming outof the machine.
406 00:18:07 Bird?
407 00:18:10 Bird?
408 00:18:12 Oh, you're-- I see,
409 00:18:14 you're like,"Work's done for the day.
410 00:18:16 "We've done too much.It's time to play."
411 00:18:19 No problem.What's that?
412 00:18:21 Bird's favourite game?
413 00:18:23 Okay, ready?
414 00:18:25 Bird.
415 00:18:29 You're Batman.
416 00:18:32 Goodnight, Matt.
417 00:18:44 All right, well...
418 00:18:46 Uh...
419 00:18:50 Bird, I'm gonna get started!
420 00:19:01 Doc Brown: This readout tellsyou where you're going,
421 00:19:02 this one tells youwhere you are,
422 00:19:04 this one tells youwhere you were.
423 00:19:05 You input your destinationtime on this keypad.
424 00:19:09 ♪ Deep down in Louisianaclose to New Orleans ♪
425 00:19:12 ♪ Way back up in the woodsamong the evergreens ♪
426 00:19:14 The flux capacitor.
427 00:19:15 ♪ There stood a log cabinmade of earth and wood ♪
428 00:19:17 ♪ Where lived a country boynamed Johnny B. Goode ♪
429 00:19:20 ♪ Who never ever learnedto read or write so well ♪
430 00:19:23 ♪ But he could play a guitarjust like a-ringin' a bell ♪
431 00:19:26 ♪ Go, go
432 00:19:27 ♪ Go, Johnny,go, go ♪
433 00:19:30 ♪ Go, Johnny, go, go
434 00:19:36 ♪ Go, Johnny, go, go
435 00:19:39 ♪ Johnny B. Goode
436 00:19:47 Lafayette. How can I help you?
437 00:19:49 Hi, um...
438 00:19:52 I was thinking about, uh,
439 00:19:54 coming to play the open mic.
440 00:19:57 Jared! Hey!
441 00:20:02 Where do we keepthe old cameras in here?
442 00:20:06 I need to find the old camerasfrom way back.
443 00:20:08 They're in the bin.
444 00:20:13 Oh, yes. Okay.
445 00:20:15 My name is Matt Johnson,if you're watching this,
446 00:20:17 I need your help.
447 00:20:19 I mistakenly inventeda time machine,
448 00:20:21 and I played with itlike a fool.
449 00:20:23 I went backto the year 2008,
450 00:20:26 and I have done something thathas set off a chain of events
451 00:20:28 that has destroyedthe future!
452 00:20:30 Okay, yeah! You just show upany time before 8
453 00:20:33 ask to speak to John.
454 00:20:34 Oh my God. Okay. And you'rein Ottawa, right? So...
455 00:20:38 Yup sorry...yup.
456 00:20:39 A-pardon me sir?
457 00:20:40 How far away is Ottawa?I'm in Toronto.
458 00:20:45 Uh...it depends how fast you drive?
459 00:20:46 Anywhere between four...fuh-
460 00:20:48 four or five hours, I guess?
461 00:20:49 Rivoli,I am about to appear
462 00:20:52 in the year 2025,in your time!
463 00:20:55 And it is of vital importancethat you let me and my band,
464 00:20:58 Nirvanna the Band, play ashow at the Rivoli tonight,
465 00:21:01 in order to undo what I did!
466 00:21:04 So... do you haveto be a band or a duo
467 00:21:08 or can you be... solo?
468 00:21:12 Watch!It's a full time machine!
469 00:21:16 I have the flux capacitor,I have the, uh, batteries...
470 00:21:19 Oh, man, I left my Orbitzin that stupid thing.
471 00:21:21 Let's do it again whereI don't have the-- oh, shit!
472 00:21:23 Oh, fuck! We gotta do it--
473 00:21:24 No! No! Oh, fuck!
474 00:21:26 Oh, no!
475 00:21:28 Oh, fuck! Oh, Jesus!
476 00:21:31 Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
477 00:21:34 Uh... Oh, my God.
478 00:21:35 Uh...
479 00:21:36 Put it out!You got it?
480 00:21:38 Oh, is that evengonna do anything?
481 00:21:39 - Put it out!- Yeah, I'm trying to put--
482 00:21:41 So, I have a show booked, essentially?
483 00:21:45 Uh - I'mI'm sorry?
484 00:21:46 I...
485 00:21:47 You have a show bookedin Ottawa?
486 00:21:49 I said I have a showbooked tomorrow?
487 00:21:51 Yeah... Okay -Yeah.
488 00:21:53 Okay.Yeah.
489 00:21:55 Great, we'll see you tomorrownight then!
490 00:21:57 See you tomorrow night.Okay. Thank you.
491 00:21:59 K, bye.
492 00:21:59 Bye-bye.
493 00:22:11 Oh, fuck.
494 00:22:15 And the lights on itis what made it look good
495 00:22:17 in the first place.
496 00:22:20 Now, it's just like, junk.
497 00:22:21 Oh.
498 00:22:23 Shit.
499 00:23:43 ♪ Now it's a holiday
500 00:23:49 ♪ Now it's a holiday
501 00:23:59 ♪ I wanna free upfrom the vine ♪
502 00:24:01 ♪ I wanna celebrate
503 00:24:04 ♪ Close enough to feel andnow it's time to disappear ♪
504 00:24:07 ♪ I wanna celebrate
505 00:24:09 ♪ So I can never feelthe cold ♪
506 00:24:17 ♪ ...never feel the cold
507 00:24:19 ♪ I can never feelthe cold ♪
508 00:24:22 ♪ Now it's a holiday
509 00:24:26 - Ah!- Ah! [bleep]!
510 00:24:28 - Aah!- Matt?
511 00:24:29 - Ah!- Ooh!
512 00:24:31 [bleep]!
513 00:24:32 What the [bleep]are you doing?
514 00:24:33 - What are you doing?- Oh, [bleep]!
515 00:24:34 Hey, Matt.
516 00:24:37 - What is this [bleep]?- Uh, um.
517 00:24:38 - I'm being kidnapped?- Um...
518 00:24:40 I-- I neededto just take it.
519 00:24:41 Okay, hold on.Just tell me what's going on.
520 00:24:44 I will. Yeah, okay.
521 00:24:45 'Cause I don'twanna get angry.
522 00:24:46 - You know how...- "You know how" what?
523 00:24:49 - You know how when you--- "How when" what?
524 00:24:51 - If you just went, uh...- If you went when how what?
525 00:24:54 I'm getting fucked over,aren't I?
526 00:24:56 No, no, no,I was just, um, uh...
527 00:25:05 Okay, listen to this...
528 00:25:07 time machine plan.
529 00:25:09 What are you doing?
530 00:25:11 Doing the time machine plan.
531 00:25:13 Doing-- Doingthe time machine plan?
532 00:25:16 Did you say you're "Doingthe time machine plan"?
533 00:25:18 Yeah.
534 00:25:20 Oh, we're going toThe Rivoli right now?
535 00:25:21 - Yes.- Oh!
536 00:25:24 That's whyyou're driving so fast?
537 00:25:26 Yeah. Um, and as faras I'm concerned,
538 00:25:29 we are playingthe Rivoli tonight.
539 00:25:32 Jay, watch out! Watch out!
540 00:25:35 Ah!
541 00:25:39 Oh my God. Oh, I saw a flashof white light, and then a...
542 00:25:43 And then, it's--
543 00:25:44 Where did thatstreetcar come from?
544 00:25:45 Ah, fuck I hit my ass.
545 00:25:48 Oh, my God.
546 00:25:49 Ah.
547 00:25:51 How you doin'?
548 00:25:53 Sorry about this.
549 00:25:55 It could've beena lot worse. Right?
550 00:25:57 Like, could've been a lot--could've been a lot worse.
551 00:26:01 Bird?
552 00:26:04 You're missinga great visual joke.
553 00:26:06 Uh, I'm gonna go.
554 00:26:10 - Sure, let's go.- Uh, no, no, no.
555 00:26:11 - We should clean this up.- Yeah, let's clean this up.
556 00:26:15 Oh.Whoa.
557 00:26:19 Oh, my God.Look at this.
558 00:26:23 Oh, my God.
559 00:26:24 What the hell?
560 00:26:26 Oh, someone elsegot a show at The Rivoli.
561 00:26:30 Goddamn it.
562 00:26:31 - You know, I gotta go.- What?
563 00:26:33 Oh, 'causeyou're mad about this?
564 00:26:35 We're gonna get the show.I promise.
565 00:26:38 Hey, look at that, tourists.Tourists, Bird.
566 00:26:41 Hi.Welcome to Toronto.
567 00:26:43 Come check us outat The Rivoli later!
568 00:26:46 But we don't havea show...
569 00:26:47 Well, we-- wecould be playing any day.
570 00:26:51 Uh... Toron...I know this looks bad.
571 00:26:52 We just hit this Now Magazinebox with our RV by accident.
572 00:26:56 This doesn't speakfor Toronto generally.
573 00:26:58 Enjoy.
574 00:26:59 Okay, we gotta clean this upand get outta here.
575 00:27:01 - Yeah, uh, you know what?- Yeah?
576 00:27:05 You clean this up.
577 00:27:07 I'll take the RV to the shop,make sure there's no damage.
578 00:27:09 Come on. We'll movethis thing in two minutes,
579 00:27:11 if you just help me...help me lift this up.
580 00:27:13 Yeah, okay.
581 00:27:18 - Let's go see a movie.- See a...
582 00:27:20 Let's see a movie together.Look. We're right here.
583 00:27:22 When's the last time you andI saw a movie together,
584 00:27:25 You want to see a movie?
585 00:27:29 You like that?
586 00:27:30 Yeah!Right now?
587 00:27:34 - Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!- Hey.
588 00:27:36 We gotta wait forThe Rivoli to open anyway.
589 00:27:38 And it's dark in there.
590 00:27:40 What'd you say?
591 00:27:42 Jay?
592 00:27:47 It's the weekend, Budnick.
593 00:27:48 I don't know you.You do not exist.
594 00:27:51 Shit.
595 00:27:53 Nice car.
596 00:27:54 I'm just gonna goto the bathroom.
597 00:27:58 What do you mean?The movie just started.
598 00:28:01 Goodbye, Matt.
599 00:28:06 What are you doing?
600 00:28:08 Move!What...
601 00:28:09 Sorry.Yeah.
602 00:28:10 - Excuse me.- Yeah, go.
603 00:28:12 Sorry. Sorry. Excuse me.
604 00:28:15 Melissa on screen: Not tomention, it's pathetic.
605 00:28:17 Goodbye, Matt.
606 00:28:18 Right.
607 00:28:19 - And the worst part is...- Jesus Christ.
608 00:28:28 I was just gonna say that.
609 00:28:29 See?
610 00:28:31 I just wish your friendswere as mature as you.
611 00:28:33 They are mature, actually.
612 00:28:34 You just haveto get to know them better.
613 00:28:36 Paging Dr. Faggot!
614 00:28:41 Dr. Faggot!
615 00:28:45 I should go.
616 00:28:47 That's a good idea,Dr. Faggot.
617 00:28:53 Uh-oh.
618 00:28:58 Oh, I'm sorry!
619 00:28:59 Sorry!
620 00:29:05 Okay.
621 00:29:06 Jay. Jay!
622 00:29:09 - Jay, Jay!- [bleep]. Oh, [bleep].
623 00:29:11 Um, uh, um...
624 00:29:15 Jay.
625 00:29:16 Yeah. I was, uh...
626 00:29:18 Oh, my God.
627 00:29:23 Oh, God.
628 00:29:25 I-I can explain this, okay?
629 00:29:33 Actually, Matt... I need to--
630 00:29:36 It's 2008.
631 00:29:40 What?
632 00:29:42 The time machine workedsomehow and we are in 2008.
633 00:29:50 Do you--Do you understand?
634 00:29:52 We are--We are time travelers.
635 00:29:54 Okay, no.
636 00:29:55 Um, yeah. Look.I'll prove it to you.
637 00:29:58 Watch, watch, watch.The time machine works.
638 00:29:59 Look, okay?Uh, look.
639 00:30:01 Okay. We'll go to...
640 00:30:06 Okay, watch this.
641 00:30:07 Hold onto your butts!
642 00:30:11 Ah!
643 00:30:12 I'm accelerating usto 88 kilom--
644 00:30:14 or is it miles an hour?
645 00:30:15 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,whoa, whoa...
646 00:30:17 Just watch! You'll belaughing in a second.
647 00:30:19 Okay. Come on.
648 00:30:20 Come on!
649 00:30:22 80. 85!
650 00:30:24 Can you...Can you slow down?
651 00:30:27 88! Hold on to something!
652 00:30:31 What?!
653 00:30:33 Oh, no!
654 00:30:34 Okay, something must bewrong with this thing.
655 00:30:35 Hold on. I'll fix it.I'll fix it.
656 00:30:37 Goddamn it.
657 00:30:39 - Okay.- Okay.
658 00:30:40 - Okay.- Okay, okay.
659 00:30:41 So this...2008, this is right.
660 00:30:44 Was it the time thing?What is...
661 00:30:46 Um, all right,I can figure this out.
662 00:30:48 - I can figure this out.- Goodbye, Matt.
663 00:30:51 Where are you going?!
664 00:30:52 Jay!You can't...
665 00:30:54 You can't go out there.It's too... too...
666 00:30:55 What's he doing?Bird, no, no, no, no, no, no!
667 00:30:58 Jay!
668 00:31:02 Bird, Bird!
669 00:31:04 You can't go out there.
670 00:31:26 What year is it?
671 00:31:27 2008, sir.
672 00:31:31 Oh, [bleep].
673 00:31:33 Oh, [bleep]!
674 00:31:38 - Matt?- Yes?
675 00:31:39 - It's 2008.- I told you!
676 00:31:44 I'm gonna find a placeto hide this RV.
677 00:31:56 Okay, I thinkwe're safe here.
678 00:31:58 We're not safe.
679 00:32:00 Well, I just meannobody's gonna notice us.
680 00:32:02 You know, you really[bleep] us up--
681 00:32:04 - Whoa, whoa, whoa.- This is [bleep].
682 00:32:05 I-- You were the one--I did not do anything.
683 00:32:07 - Huh?- You're the one
684 00:32:10 And then, I'm instantlyin a car accident.
685 00:32:13 I didn't see-- like astreetcar came out of nowhere.
686 00:32:15 It didn't come out of nowhere.It was just there in 2008.
687 00:32:18 And when wewent through the flash...
688 00:32:20 - Yeah.- ...we appeared.
689 00:32:21 It's just like inBack to the Futureone.
690 00:32:23 No, or Back tothe Future Two.
691 00:32:25 It happens in Back tothe Future Threeas well.
692 00:32:26 [bleep] We gotta figurehow to get back.
693 00:32:28 - Yes.- How do we even go back?
694 00:32:30 We must've gone through likea wormhole or something.
695 00:32:33 We are trapped in 2008.The question is
696 00:32:36 "How can we use thisto get a show at The Rivoli?"
697 00:32:40 No, hold on. Like, that--that's secondary now, okay?
698 00:32:44 First things first.
699 00:32:46 Okay, so we have travelled...
700 00:32:48 here, into 2008.
701 00:32:52 This is us now.
702 00:32:53 Goddamn it.
703 00:32:54 So, we're gonna goforwards back to 2025,
704 00:32:59 but this will be a new 2025if we change anything here.
705 00:33:04 Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa.
706 00:33:05 It was an AshtonKutcher movie.
707 00:33:09 Butterfly Effect.
708 00:33:10 Anything we affect couldhave insane ramifications.
709 00:33:14 So our presentcan get changed?
710 00:33:17 We could come backto a future where
711 00:33:19 The Rivoli doesn't exist.
712 00:33:21 Or maybe another venue, likemaybe somewhere in Ottawa.
713 00:33:24 Forget that! What if we comeback and, all of a sudden,
714 00:33:26 you-- you're nota piano player anymore?
715 00:33:28 Maybe I'm a drummerand we're a ska band.
716 00:33:31 No Doubt before Gwen Stefani.Have you heard that music?
717 00:33:34 Look it up.Have you heard it?
718 00:33:36 - Let's keep thinking about--- Let's focus on the plan.
719 00:33:38 You builta toy time machine.
720 00:33:40 - Uh-huh.- And then it worked...
721 00:33:42 - Somehow.- ...but now it's broken.
722 00:33:46 Maybe you need to justsort of look under the hood.
723 00:33:49 - Wait.- Maybe something's just loose.
724 00:33:52 It is broken.I broke it last night.
725 00:33:55 I spilled the Orbitz on it.
726 00:33:57 Holy [bleep].
727 00:33:59 But it's back on.
728 00:34:02 Oh, my God.
729 00:34:05 - What?- This--
730 00:34:09 Oh, no!I ruined it!
731 00:34:11 Oh, I fucking ruined it!
732 00:34:13 That's too stupid, isn't it?
733 00:34:16 What?Tell-- Talk to me.
734 00:34:18 Oh, my God.Oh, my God.
735 00:34:20 Bird, this is gonnasound crazy.
736 00:34:22 - What? What did it do?- The Orbitz!
737 00:34:24 I spilt a bottle of Orbitz.
738 00:34:25 - Is there any left?- No. I'm out.
739 00:34:28 Um, but we justneed to find a way
740 00:34:30 to get another bottleor something like that.
741 00:34:32 But that wasyour last bottle.
742 00:34:33 There wasn't even any leftback now, in 2008.
743 00:34:35 They stoppedmaking this in 1999.
744 00:34:37 I know, it was such a big dealwhen we found that whole--
745 00:34:41 That's right.
746 00:34:43 This is my last bottlein 2025,
747 00:34:45 but in 2008,we still have a whole case.
748 00:34:47 At the apartment.That's where we gotta go.
749 00:34:50 And that means, you guys,you can't be out here with--
750 00:34:52 waving your camerasaround like that.
751 00:34:54 Because, look, they've gotthe futuristic video cameras.
752 00:34:56 - They're looking--- Exactly, they're like--
753 00:34:58 Look at Luca.He looks like...
754 00:34:59 He looks like he's fromThe Matrix.
755 00:35:02 So this whole 2008 sequence,which would be very hard
756 00:35:05 to fake if this werenot really 2008,
757 00:35:07 will not be filmed.
758 00:35:10 Well what if we use the oldcameras?
759 00:35:11 Oh, use the old camera?
760 00:35:12 Yeah, okay,in that case, you can.
761 00:35:14 Yeah, okay.You have to use this.
762 00:35:44 Oh, my God.
763 00:35:48 Ah!Oh, wow.
764 00:35:51 Goths.
765 00:35:53 Wow.
766 00:35:54 Real goths.
767 00:35:57 Look at the gothness of it.
768 00:36:00 They're goths!
769 00:36:02 Wow.
770 00:36:03 Men forgot that's a great way
771 00:36:05 to score girlsway out of your, uh...
772 00:36:06 Matt.
773 00:36:08 What?
774 00:36:10 That guy looks just like me.See the guy down there?
775 00:36:14 That guy looks like me.
776 00:36:17 He's got your hat.
777 00:36:18 Jay, it's us.That's us.
778 00:36:21 Holy [bleep].
779 00:36:25 Oh, look. They even havea little Jared.
780 00:36:28 Jared...there's you filming us.
781 00:36:31 Oh, my God.Look how young he looks.
782 00:36:33 Past Matt: Actually, no, here.Jay, put one right here.
783 00:36:35 - Put right here.- Where?
784 00:36:36 No, on this side with me.On this side with me.
785 00:36:38 - Okay.- Come to this side.
786 00:36:40 No, no, no, put oneright against this thing.
787 00:36:42 - Okay.- On this side!
788 00:36:45 What the hellare we doing?
789 00:36:46 That's, uh, we're... we're...It's a plan.
790 00:36:48 This is one ofmy classic plans. Look.
791 00:36:49 Flyer plan!Oh, my God!
792 00:36:53 That's a good plan!
793 00:36:54 How did this not work?We should do this plan again.
794 00:37:04 Jay, I got a feeling
795 00:37:05 things are gonnawork out okay for us.
796 00:37:10 Is that a cop? Are thosepolice officers looking at us?
797 00:37:13 Let's go down this way.Let's just walk down this way.
798 00:37:16 Oh, shit!Hide, hide!
799 00:37:22 Do you thinkthat guy looks like me?
800 00:37:25 That guy?Looks like me.
801 00:37:29 It's 'causehe's got that hat.
802 00:37:32 Sick.
803 00:37:34 Guy looks like you.
804 00:37:37 Okay, okay,this is our chance.
805 00:37:39 - Come on.- Yeah, yeah.
806 00:37:41 - It's caught on my--- That's my jacket.
807 00:37:42 - You put it inside out.- Come on, come on, come on.
808 00:37:44 Your hat!
809 00:37:52 Sorry, sorry.
810 00:37:56 - Uh, okay.- Okay, let's just go.
811 00:37:57 - Let's go!- Yeah, right.
812 00:37:59 Oh, God.Man, it's open.
813 00:38:00 Remember our old apartment?
814 00:38:03 Okay, all right.
815 00:38:06 Okay, quick in and out.
816 00:38:07 Yeah, I thinkwe left the Orbitz
817 00:38:09 on top of the oven, right?
818 00:38:10 Yeah, but we can'ttouch anything else.
819 00:38:12 Oh, right yeah,Butterfly Effect.
820 00:38:14 This is justlike Aladdin.
821 00:38:15 Touch nothingbut the Orbitz.
822 00:38:18 Go.
823 00:38:20 Okay.We gotta make it seem--
824 00:38:22 - They're right there.- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
825 00:38:23 I'm getting the Orbitz,and then we're outta here.
826 00:38:25 - Okay.- Come on, come on.
827 00:38:31 It's empty.
828 00:38:32 Look. Look around.Look around for them.
829 00:38:34 - Come on.- Find 'em!
830 00:38:40 Where the fuck are they?
831 00:38:43 Fuckin' loot the place!
832 00:38:46 Shh, shh, shh, shh.
833 00:38:50 - Oh, [bleep]!- Oh, my God.
834 00:38:56 No, not Jared, not Jared.
835 00:38:58 Why not?Why not?
836 00:39:02 Past Matt: Okay, we gottarehearse, we gotta rehearse.
837 00:39:04 Come on! Come on! Come on!
838 00:39:05 Past Jay:Think it's gonna work?
839 00:39:07 Past Matt: As far asI'm concerned,
840 00:39:09 we are playingThe Rivoli tonight.
841 00:39:11 So, what were we doingbefore we left?
842 00:39:13 Do I have a driver?No, I'm driving myself.
843 00:39:15 Past Jay:What do we cut to?
844 00:39:16 Past Matt:He's on his way there.
845 00:39:18 - Past Jay: Oh, okay, uh...- Actually, you know what?
846 00:39:19 Let's just cut rightto the fight.
847 00:39:21 Past Jay: Okay.
848 00:39:23 You're on your last legs,Creamed Corn.
849 00:39:27 You should've thought twicebefore you crossed Can Opener.
850 00:39:30 For God's sakes.
851 00:39:31 My name isyour arch nemesis--
852 00:39:36 You shoulda thought twicebefore you crossed me...
853 00:39:39 You're gonna get usthrown in jail.
854 00:39:41 "Go to jail?"Did you say, "Go to jail"?
855 00:39:43 Could go to jail.
856 00:39:45 Oh, yeah,illegal time travel.
857 00:39:48 - "I hereby sentence you--"- Is that true?
858 00:39:50 That's what he's saying,jail for this.
859 00:39:52 - Jail?- Jail.
860 00:39:55 Ridiculous.
861 00:39:56 Past Matt: I have you now,Creamed Corn!
862 00:39:59 Let him come fuckin' find me.
863 00:40:03 Let him find me.
864 00:40:04 What I'm gonna do.I'll grab my young self.
865 00:40:08 ♪ Castlevania, Fatal Fury,Ninja JaJaMaru-kun ♪
866 00:40:10 ♪ ActRaiser, Blazing Lazers,Bases Loaded, Mega Turrican ♪
867 00:40:14 ♪ Cybernator, Rolling Thunder,Dynastic Hero ♪
868 00:40:17 ♪ Bubble Bobble,Double Dribble ♪
869 00:40:18 - ♪ Double Dragon, F-Zero- I get it.
870 00:40:20 Past Matt: Creamed corn,you son of a bitch!
871 00:40:23 What? You didn't think
872 00:40:25 a super villainnamed Can Opener would be--
873 00:40:31 I think they're gone.
874 00:40:36 - Hey.- What?
875 00:40:37 Shh, shh.I think they're gone.
876 00:40:40 Let's go.Let's go. Perfect.
877 00:40:45 - Okay, okay.- Let's get out.
878 00:40:54 Jay, I thought you were--wanted to sleep.
879 00:40:58 Let's do--Let's do a quick rehearsal.
880 00:41:02 Sure, I'll play somethingon the piano.
881 00:41:08 - Past Matt: Are you there?- Yeah.
882 00:41:10 I'll go look upstairs.
883 00:41:31 I feel likewe've played that before.
884 00:41:33 I feel like we playedthat before.
885 00:41:35 Do a... Just something new.Do something new.
886 00:42:07 Matt.
887 00:42:09 Hey.
888 00:42:13 What are you doing?
889 00:42:15 Oh, this is...
890 00:42:17 I'm visiting youin your dream...
891 00:42:20 to bring youthis idea for a song
892 00:42:22 to play with the band.
893 00:42:25 And this is--and I'm a spirit.
894 00:42:27 And I'm a Dickensian spirit
895 00:42:29 to bring youthe melody of this song.
896 00:42:32 ♪ Do-do-do-do-do-do
897 00:42:33 ♪ Do-do-do-do-do-do ♪
898 00:42:35 Oh, you!
899 00:42:39 Good night.
900 00:42:40 Bye.
901 00:42:52 Got it.
902 00:43:06 Hey.
903 00:43:08 Hey... Bird.
904 00:43:12 I had a crazy dream.
905 00:43:14 I heard this... song.
906 00:43:17 ♪ Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun
907 00:43:20 And you were there,you were a spirit.
908 00:43:23 Des-- Descended spirit?
909 00:43:29 Right...
910 00:43:31 Hey, let's watch some TV.
911 00:43:33 The H1N1 flu virus...
912 00:43:35 H1N1.
913 00:43:38 Oh, yeah.It's, uh, swine flu.
914 00:43:40 Maybe they'll get a, uh...
915 00:43:44 ...a vaccine that they forceus all to take for that.
916 00:43:49 Past Jay: Oh, I forgotto tell you about my grandma.
917 00:43:52 My mom's going to Montrealright now to visit her.
918 00:43:55 She might have to beput in a home.
919 00:43:58 Pretty...
920 00:44:00 It's pretty real stuff,you know?
921 00:44:01 Getting old is...Not looking forward to it.
922 00:44:09 You know, um, the truth is,
923 00:44:13 if you've got a... best friend,
924 00:44:17 you won't even noticegetting older.
925 00:44:26 Do you like Russell Peters?
926 00:44:28 Okay, big question.
927 00:44:31 He was doing race comedyat the right...
928 00:44:35 Man, I mean, it's so...
929 00:44:38 Russell...Oh, dude, it's 2008?
930 00:44:39 I don't like him.
931 00:44:41 Yeah, I'm sayin'the same thing.
932 00:44:44 Okay, I, uh, I gotta go.
933 00:44:46 Past Jay: All right,well, you know,
934 00:44:47 I'm gonna take a showeror something and then...
935 00:44:49 Great.
936 00:44:50 I'll be readyin like half hour
937 00:44:51 and we can go over...whatever, or something.
938 00:44:54 Go over ever--Go over what?
939 00:44:55 Past Jay: That's right.I don't know.
940 00:44:56 - Get rid of him.- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
941 00:44:58 Right, yes, yes, yes.
942 00:44:59 You want me to light offsome fireworks?
943 00:45:00 Wonderful.Fire-- Perfect.
944 00:45:02 - Yep, good.- All right.
945 00:45:04 - Great.- That was stupid.
946 00:45:08 Goodbye, Jay.
947 00:45:11 Whew.
948 00:45:17 - I was about to make--- Let's go, let's go.
949 00:45:19 I was about to makea really big mistake today.
950 00:45:22 Sorry.You what?
951 00:45:23 I was about to makea really big mistake today.
952 00:45:28 - This morning...- Yes?
953 00:45:29 ...I was trying to escape.
954 00:45:34 I was trying to escape.Leave. You.
955 00:45:37 The band.Everything.
956 00:45:41 I thought that I could goand become famous without you.
957 00:45:45 I got it,I got it, I got it.
958 00:45:47 Are you mad?
959 00:45:56 I'm embarrassed.
960 00:46:00 Why would I be?
961 00:46:01 No, I...
962 00:46:03 Why-- Why don't we--
963 00:46:05 Hey, hey, hey, hey.
964 00:46:06 Wait. Are you saying--So...
965 00:46:11 Okay--
966 00:46:13 I'm kidding.
967 00:46:16 Okay.
968 00:46:18 Okay, okay,but the whole point though...
969 00:46:20 The whole point,the whole point--
970 00:46:21 Matt, wait-- wait.Hey, where are you going?
971 00:46:24 Where are you going?Matt, Matt.
972 00:46:25 Stop, stop, stop, stop.Ah!
973 00:46:27 Matt, what are you doing?
974 00:46:30 We can't change anything.
975 00:46:32 Hey.You'll be better off, right?
976 00:46:34 We're gonna seewho's gonna be better off.
977 00:46:37 Don't. Stop.
978 00:47:14 Okay... So...
979 00:47:17 July-- I'm settingthe time machine!
980 00:47:19 July 10th, 20--
981 00:47:22 Tenth? No, no, no.We went back on the 12th.
982 00:47:24 The 12th.
983 00:47:25 We're going backtwo days earlier.
984 00:47:28 So that I can dothe skydive plan myself.
985 00:47:33 Fine.
986 00:48:11 Go!
987 00:48:33 [bleep]!Not again!
988 00:48:42 Oh.
989 00:48:45 Oh, my God.
990 00:48:49 I hit my ass.
991 00:48:54 Oh, my God. I hit my ass.
992 00:48:58 I hit my ass. Bird.
993 00:49:03 Radio announcer:This is Roz and Mocha...
994 00:49:09 Jay?
995 00:49:11 You're listening to myboys, Roz and Mocha.
996 00:49:17 Jay?!
997 00:49:18 Oh, sorry.
998 00:49:20 All good.
999 00:49:46 Jay?
1000 00:49:54 I'm home!
1001 00:50:03 Okay.
1002 00:50:08 It's all the same.
1003 00:50:11 What the--
1004 00:50:19 Very funny. Very funny.
1005 00:50:23 Nice one, Jay!
1006 00:50:28 You gotta give him credit.That's a good bit.
1007 00:50:33 So, now I'm the dr--Now, I'm the drummer.
1008 00:50:40 Matt?!
1009 00:50:41 Jay?!
1010 00:50:42 We figured itout, buddy.
1011 00:50:44 Woo! We got it.We got it. We got it.
1012 00:50:47 We figured it out.
1013 00:50:49 We've got the plan, okay?
1014 00:50:51 All right. So...
1015 00:50:53 So, you know howwe've had trouble
1016 00:50:55 getting ticketsto the show, right?
1017 00:50:57 Turns out there is anadditional traunch
1018 00:51:01 of tickets beingreleased exclusively
1019 00:51:03 to Visa AvionInfinite Privilege
1020 00:51:06 private bankingcard holders, okay?
1021 00:51:07 Man ♪2: Top.Top of the top.
1022 00:51:08 Now, there is one individualwho we know
1023 00:51:11 who has a Visa AvionInfinite Privilege
1024 00:51:14 private banking card,and that is--
1025 00:51:17 - My aunt.- Ethan's aunt.
1026 00:51:20 Michael and Iarrive to her door,
1027 00:51:22 we share with herthat we, too, are Chinese.
1028 00:51:26 - What?- Our whole lives.
1029 00:51:27 Our whole lives.
1030 00:51:28 Born-- Born in Chin--Born in China.
1031 00:51:30 His father's white,mother's Chinese.
1032 00:51:32 First language Chinese.
1033 00:51:33 Both of my parentsare Chinese.
1034 00:51:34 Okay, okay. So, let me--let me-- let me get this--
1035 00:51:37 Let me, uh,get this straight.
1036 00:51:38 Okay.
1037 00:51:42 Jay McCarrol hired you guys.
1038 00:51:44 You're improvisers and you'rehere to teach me a lesson--
1039 00:51:45 You're already off.
1040 00:51:47 - We're door-to-door salesmen.- No, no, no, no, no.
1041 00:51:49 I'm sayingthe jig's up, guys.
1042 00:51:53 Jay hired you to teach mea lesson about what it's like
1043 00:51:57 to be on the receivingend of these insane plans.
1044 00:52:00 Jay, I get it. I'm sorry thatmy plans are so ridiculous.
1045 00:52:04 I see now that,
1046 00:52:05 yeah, maybe I could bea little bit more, um...
1047 00:52:10 What's the word? Why am Ieven telling this to you guys?
1048 00:52:12 Okay, yes.
1049 00:52:14 Congratulations.Very good.
1050 00:52:16 That was extremely well done.
1051 00:52:19 The troika of Matt Johnsondivided into three.
1052 00:52:21 I love that I've gotan Asian part of me.
1053 00:52:25 Maybe that's my sensitivity.
1054 00:52:28 So, um,I guess all that's left
1055 00:52:32 is for me to kick your ass.
1056 00:52:34 - What?- Dude. Matt.
1057 00:52:35 - Who's first?- What's happening?
1058 00:52:37 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.Why do I have this?
1059 00:52:40 Why do you have what?
1060 00:52:43 Why do I have that?
1061 00:52:45 - We all have them.- Dude...
1062 00:52:47 How did--
1063 00:52:56 Oh, my God.
1064 00:53:02 Oh, my God.
1065 00:53:09 What is this plan for?
1066 00:53:12 It's the Jay McCarrol concert.To get tickets.
1067 00:53:16 You're trying to get ticketsto a Jay McCarrol concert,
1068 00:53:19 because Jay McCarrolis a famous musician.
1069 00:53:24 Yeah.
1070 00:53:25 And I am...
1071 00:53:32 In a Jay McCarrolcover band.
1072 00:53:43 Whoa! Sorry.
1073 00:54:02 Mr. Hollywood...
1074 00:54:04 Hollywood.
1075 00:54:05 Mr. Hollywood.
1076 00:54:07 Mr. Arnold
1077 00:54:08 Mr. Rocky
1078 00:54:10 Mr. Jennifer Lopez
1079 00:54:11 That is also Jay.
1080 00:54:13 Yeah.
1081 00:54:14 A Google
1082 00:54:15 Autolog,Facebook
1083 00:54:16 Yahoo
1084 00:54:17 Too'tereelcompany.
1085 00:54:19 He's on everything. Yeah.
1086 00:54:20 Hollywood.
1087 00:54:23 Beautiful, beautiful.
1088 00:54:25 Okay. Nice meeting you.
1089 00:54:37 You think you'd be famouswithout me?
1090 00:54:40 You'd be famous right now.
1091 00:54:43 You'd be famous right now.Right?
1092 00:54:45 If it weren't for me.
1093 00:54:47 TTC Voice:Next stop Chestnut Street.
1094 00:54:50 Your life would have beenbetter if you never met me?
1095 00:54:52 I don't know.I don't know.
1096 00:54:53 Well, there's a wayto find out.
1097 00:54:55 There's a way to find out.
1098 00:54:56 - Easy. Don't--- No, no, no.
1099 00:54:57 We can't change anything.
1100 00:54:58 Yeah, well, I knowsomething we can change.
1101 00:55:03 You'll wake him up.You'll wake him up.
1102 00:55:18 It worked, baby! Okay.We gotta go! We gotta go!
1103 00:55:21 It was way more funthan I thought it was gonna be.
1104 00:55:24 Gotta go. Got your bag?
1105 00:55:26 Yeah, yeah.Yeah. Let's go, let's go.
1106 00:55:27 Ladies and gentlemen.
1107 00:55:30 May I haveyour attention, please?
1108 00:55:34 It's time forthe final countdown.
1109 00:55:42 The show starts in...
1110 00:55:45 ten...
1111 00:55:46 ...nine, eight, seven,
1112 00:55:49 six, five, four...
1113 00:55:52 three, two, one. Go!
1114 00:56:02 Hello, Toronto!
1115 00:56:14 ♪ So sorry,I've missed you ♪
1116 00:56:18 ♪ Hair, alwayswhipping round ♪
1117 00:56:21 ♪ So high up,got my chin up ♪
1118 00:56:24 ♪ I don't careif I never come... ♪
1119 00:56:29 He's not evenbreaking a sweat.
1120 00:56:31 He's insane, man.
1121 00:56:34 Think if I told himmy username he'd remember me?
1122 00:56:37 - Your what? Sorry?- From what?
1123 00:56:38 - Oh, from the forums.- Yeah.
1124 00:56:39 Maybe.
1125 00:56:43 Okay. Thank you. Okay.
1126 00:56:46 I'll be-- I'll be--I'll be right back.
1127 00:56:52 Jay, hey, hey, hey.No. He's my friend.
1128 00:56:54 This-- He's my--He's my best friend.
1129 00:56:56 He's my best friend.He's my best friend.
1130 00:56:57 - Yeah, no. It's okay.- Jay, it's me.
1131 00:56:59 This is crazy I found you.What the fuck is going on?
1132 00:57:02 Look at this.
1133 00:57:04 Okay, I think that we have toget back in the time machine
1134 00:57:07 and figure outhow to do this again,
1135 00:57:08 or, like, some otherversion of this,
1136 00:57:10 because there's gotta be a waythat we can do this
1137 00:57:12 where we're both, where it's,like--
1138 00:57:13 where Nirvanna the Bandgets this.
1139 00:57:15 Guys, you have to meetmy old friend, Matt.
1140 00:57:20 What?
1141 00:57:21 God. You look good.
1142 00:57:23 It's been, like, what?17 years.
1143 00:57:27 Unbelievable.
1144 00:57:29 You know, we actuallyused to have a band together.
1145 00:57:31 To give you an idea,it was called...
1146 00:57:32 - No. No, no.- ...Nirvanna the Band.
1147 00:57:34 Wait.
1148 00:57:35 No way.
1149 00:57:37 No, no, no. Bird,you gotta remember. Hold on.
1150 00:57:39 - Yeah, yeah. I remember.- No, no, no. I'm saying you--
1151 00:57:41 No, but you gotta remember.You gotta remember.
1152 00:57:43 - Okay.- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
1153 00:57:44 Yeah, it's all good.
1154 00:57:46 Look at me. Look at me.Bird, it's me.
1155 00:57:47 It's me. Jay--
1156 00:57:48 - I hope you've been well.- Jay. No, no, no.
1157 00:57:50 You've gotta remember.Jay. You gotta! No, Jay!
1158 00:57:52 Jay, Jay, Jay!You gotta remember!
1159 00:57:53 Bird, Bird, Bird.You gotta remember!
1160 00:57:55 It's me! It's me!
1161 00:57:57 This isn't right!We're in the wrong timeline!
1162 00:58:00 Bird! Jay!
1163 00:58:02 You guys wanta photo or something?
1164 00:58:03 Jay!
1165 00:58:10 Excuse me, sorry. Sorry.
1166 00:58:31 Oh, no.
1167 00:58:34 Jay!
1168 00:58:44 Thank you, sir.
1169 00:58:46 Man ♪1:Jay, I love you.
1170 00:58:48 Man ♪2:Looking clean, Jay.
1171 00:58:50 ♪ I don't care ifI ever come down ♪
1172 00:58:54 "Did Jay McCarrol...
1173 00:58:56 "write'Never Come Down'?"
1174 00:58:58 I was in a badliving situation
1175 00:59:00 and I was havinga lot of nightmares.
1176 00:59:01 This song came to me ina dream, it ended up being,
1177 00:59:05 well, a genius hit song.
1178 00:59:06 As you guys alreadyknow with this track,
1179 00:59:08 it is an absolute classic,
1180 00:59:10 and has sustainedJay McCarrol's career
1181 00:59:13 for well overa decade now at this point.
1182 00:59:15 I heard you're scaredof clowns.
1183 00:59:17 I'm not afraid of clowns.
1184 00:59:19 But I heard that you were.
1185 00:59:21 I'm out here--Uh-oh. Richard.
1186 00:59:27 Jay McCarrolis in the building!
1187 00:59:30 Hey, guys.
1188 00:59:32 - Jay, welcome back, dude.- How're you doing?
1189 00:59:33 It is so good tosee you here today.
1190 00:59:35 Wow. Yeah.
1191 00:59:36 You're here, but you're notgonna be here for long,
1192 00:59:38 because you are about to goand shake the world.
1193 00:59:41 And what's sort of goingthrough your head right now?
1194 00:59:43 Have you prepped for this?Can you prep for this?
1195 00:59:48 Yes.
1196 00:59:50 So, when you gothrough these moments,
1197 00:59:52 whether it's witha song or a tour
1198 00:59:53 or a show or an awardor whatever it is,
1199 00:59:56 we all still havesomebody in our life
1200 00:59:58 that we want to make proud,you know what I mean?
1201 01:00:00 No matter howsuccessful you get,
1202 01:00:02 you still have that personyou want to make proud.
1203 01:00:04 Like, who's the firstcall you make
1204 01:00:07 when you walk off the stage,
1205 01:00:08 where you're like, "God,this, I gotta share this"?
1206 01:00:10 Who's the callthat you make?
1207 01:00:17 I, uh--
1208 01:00:22 Like a-- Like a friend.Who's your best friend?
1209 01:00:32 [bleep] Not again! Ah!
1210 01:00:33 ♪ I don't care ifI never come down ♪
1211 01:00:42 You good?
1212 01:00:45 MJ?
1213 01:00:47 Radio Host: Alright, you arelistening to Jay McCarrol,
1214 01:00:48 "Never Come Down."
1215 01:00:50 And yes, you are listening toThe Roz and Mocha Show.
1216 01:00:53 Guess what? We aregiving away two tickets
1217 01:00:55 to tonight's show as part ofJay McCarrol's world tour.
1218 01:00:59 All you gotta dois give us a call right now
1219 01:01:01 and tell us whatstreet in Toronto
1220 01:01:03 does Jay McCarrol live on.
1221 01:01:05 416-870-8888. That is the...
1222 01:01:11 Oh, my God, I hit my ass.
1223 01:01:18 Uh, hello?
1224 01:01:21 I think I live here.
1225 01:01:24 I got him. I got him.I got him right here.
1226 01:01:26 I got him out front.He's right here.
1227 01:01:28 He's right out frontat the front door.
1228 01:01:29 What the hell, man?Where the fuck you been?
1229 01:01:31 Yeah. Yeah, he's right--Just everyone relax.
1230 01:01:33 That's why I'm sayingyou have to just relax,
1231 01:01:35 because of coursehe's gonna be here.
1232 01:01:36 He's here. No, he's good.He's totally fine.
1233 01:01:48 Okay, who's first?Who's first?
1234 01:01:51 Okay.
1235 01:01:52 - Could we get a picture?- Of course!
1236 01:01:54 I'm shaking, I'm very nervous...
1237 01:01:55 Oh, wow.
1238 01:01:56 It's so nice to meet you.
1239 01:01:57 Wow.So fun.
1240 01:02:05 - Wow. Thank you so much.- K, thank you.
1241 01:02:06 I'm so happy that I met you.
1242 01:02:08 Thank you very much.
1243 01:02:18 Jay, Jay, Jay!You gotta remember!
1244 01:02:20 - Gonna rip my shirt.- Bird, Bird! You gotta
1245 01:02:22 Jay, you gotta remember me!
1246 01:02:23 - This isn't right!- Okay. Got it.
1247 01:02:25 Um, I'm gonna justrun to the bathroom.
1248 01:03:03 Who's your best friend?
1249 01:03:13 It's all good. It's all good.It's all good.
1250 01:03:15 It's all good.It's all good.
1251 01:03:16 - It's all good.- Jay McCarrol, uh,
1252 01:03:17 we're proud of you, man.We followed this journey
1253 01:03:19 right fromthe very beginning.
1254 01:03:20 A Roz and Mochafan favourite as well.
1255 01:03:23 Good luck on the tour."Never Come Down"
1256 01:03:24 is the re-release.Uh, people are excited.
1257 01:03:26 You're still wearingthat hat?
1258 01:03:28 What?
1259 01:03:30 He's gained weight.
1260 01:03:34 We appreciate you.We're proud of you.
1261 01:03:36 We love you. Thank youso much for visiting us.
1262 01:03:38 You'll have to forgivemy friend. He's a bit, uh...
1263 01:03:42 ...mentally ill.
1264 01:03:44 Thank you so much forvisiting us once again
1265 01:03:46 and making time for useven at the status
1266 01:03:48 that you're at right now!
1267 01:03:49 He's a bit fat.He's a bit buff.
1268 01:03:51 He's my old friend, Matt.And we're--
1269 01:03:53 And we're reallyhappy to see him.
1270 01:03:57 I really hope that your lifeturned out the way you wanted.
1271 01:03:59 Can we talk privatelyfor just two minutes?
1272 01:04:01 No.
1273 01:04:03 Thank you for alwaysmaking time for us
1274 01:04:05 on The Roz and Mocha Show.
1275 01:04:06 About to embark onthe biggest tour of his life,
1276 01:04:08 Jay McCarrol, everybody.
1277 01:04:09 - Mr. McCarrol.- Yeah?
1278 01:04:11 I got you innumber three here.
1279 01:04:12 'Kay.
1280 01:04:13 So, we got you equippedwith in-motion satellite,
1281 01:04:16 full leather interior,on-demand hot water,
1282 01:04:20 memory foam mattress.
1283 01:04:23 We got three TVsin here for ya.
1284 01:04:25 Ceramic tile floor.
1285 01:04:27 You even got your own codeand doorbell.
1286 01:04:29 - Like, this is way back.- Yeah.
1287 01:04:30 We were opening forPeter Bjorn and John.
1288 01:04:32 - Hey, boss man.- How you doing?
1289 01:04:33 And Drew Barrymore--Yeah. Hey.
1290 01:04:37 Drew Barrymorewas there with--
1291 01:04:38 - With Fab.- Oh, my God.
1292 01:04:40 - They were together.- That's crazy.
1293 01:04:41 Was it--Or was it Justin Long?
1294 01:04:43 Bearded man: No, no,no. No, no. It was Fab,
1295 01:04:44 'cause I rememberseeing her.
1296 01:04:45 That moment, like,that is covered.
1297 01:04:47 - Fab's in there?- Yeah.
1298 01:04:48 And then Luke Lalondeand Mitch Derosier come.
1299 01:04:50 From--They were there?
1300 01:04:51 - Not quite.- I get this room!
1301 01:04:56 Yeah.
1302 01:04:57 - I mean, I really loved--- Yeah. He produced it.
1303 01:05:09 ...really tryingto wedge his way in
1304 01:05:11 to be in The Rapture,
1305 01:05:12 and they were like,"Yeah, man. No, no, no."
1306 01:05:15 - Like a bit of a--- Yes.
1307 01:05:16 Mm-hm. I heard that.
1308 01:05:17 Yes. Kind of a Jay situation
1309 01:05:19 where they're like,"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
1310 01:05:20 And they're like-- But--And then he does go off
1311 01:05:23 and performand do his own thing.
1312 01:05:28 - Yes, yeah, and in the--- He's in that, too?
1313 01:05:31 I had never 100 percent...
1314 01:05:34 What's up?
1315 01:05:36 We're going on tour!
1316 01:05:38 You guys wanna hook upthe N64? Big screen?
1317 01:05:42 Um...
1318 01:05:43 I don't know ifit has the, uh...
1319 01:05:46 Like, I don't knowif it has that hookup.
1320 01:05:48 Do we have a N64?
1321 01:05:51 I'm sure we gota 64 hooked up.
1322 01:05:54 I think if-- if you broughtone I would play, sure.
1323 01:06:06 I'm bugging you guys.
1324 01:06:09 No.
1325 01:06:10 I was just going tosay about the, uh, the--
1326 01:06:14 towards the lastpart of the book,
1327 01:06:16 James Murphy, yeah.Like, when listening--
1328 01:06:35 No problem. What's that?
1329 01:06:38 Bird's favourite game.
1330 01:06:41 Let's have a little fun.
1331 01:06:48 Yeah, but, like, so many ofthese stories start with,
1332 01:06:51 like, you could say this for,like, Strokes or Interpol.
1333 01:06:53 It's like, at theboarding school in Paris--
1334 01:06:54 You guys didn'ttell me we had a gun.
1335 01:06:57 Oh, my God!Oh, my God!
1336 01:06:59 Fuck!
1337 01:07:01 Help!
1338 01:07:07 Breaking news out of Toronto.
1339 01:07:09 A shooting has occurred outsidethe home of Canadian rock star
1340 01:07:13 Jay McCarrol,the incident occurring
1341 01:07:15 on the eveof Jay's world tour.
1342 01:07:17 Courtney Heels on the scene.What more can you tell us?
1343 01:07:20 Good morning, Marcie.I can tell you there is
1344 01:07:21 a pretty heavy policepresence along this road.
1345 01:07:23 This is Park Lane Circle.
1346 01:07:25 It's the streetthat Jay lives on.
1347 01:07:26 This is as close tothe scene as we can get.
1348 01:07:28 And as you reported,
1349 01:07:30 there is a sourceconfirming a man, an adult,
1350 01:07:32 was rushed to hospital withserious injuries,
1351 01:07:34 and they were still looking
1352 01:07:36 for a suspect seen leavingthe area.
1353 01:07:38 Let's take you livenow to the Bridle Path area,
1354 01:07:41 where police areupdating their investigation
1355 01:07:44 just outside Jay's home.Let's listen in live.
1356 01:07:47 ...to be here today.
1357 01:07:49 I know there's a lot ofinterest in this incident.
1358 01:07:52 You can expect tosee an increased presence
1359 01:07:55 in this neighbourhoodfor the next little while,
1360 01:07:57 but it's no differentthan any other shooting
1361 01:07:59 or firearm discharge.
1362 01:08:00 We'll have officers herelooking for witnesses
1363 01:08:02 to come forward, as wellas be canvassing for video.
1364 01:08:06 Police were calledto a shooting...
1365 01:08:22 I just need to go back
1366 01:08:23 to when we first wroteon the whiteboard and...
1367 01:08:28 ...then I can undoall this.
1368 01:08:30 So, how...
1369 01:08:34 How do we get back?
1370 01:08:37 I'm trappedin some kind of hell.
1371 01:08:39 Maybe it's a dream.Possible, right?
1372 01:08:41 Which, Jared, are you?Who are you?
1373 01:08:43 You came in with me, right?I can trust you.
1374 01:08:45 But then what the--who are you?
1375 01:08:47 - Right?- I'm Nikolay.
1376 01:08:49 Yeah, but this--but you didn't come in
1377 01:08:51 So you might beworking for them,
1378 01:08:52 working for this other band,working for these guys.
1379 01:08:54 See, if Jay were here, he'dbe sitting there playing
1380 01:08:56 the piano,and we would solve this!
1381 01:08:58 We would come up with this.
1382 01:08:59 Aah!
1383 01:09:03 I'll get it.
1384 01:09:12 Hi. Matt.
1385 01:09:14 I, uh-- I just wanted tocome and apologize.
1386 01:09:17 Um, you know what?My security went nuts,
1387 01:09:19 and I felt bad about the waythat felt in the room.
1388 01:09:23 Uh-huh.
1389 01:09:24 Anyway, I just wantedto say sorry.
1390 01:09:26 Okay.
1391 01:09:28 Thanks.
1392 01:09:32 Oh! Also, uh...
1393 01:09:35 you said something that nightabout a time machine.
1394 01:09:43 Oh, this is great! Okay.
1395 01:09:48 Jay?
1396 01:09:50 Oh, you're looking at the--Yeah, this is the house.
1397 01:09:54 May be a bit more modestthan you're used to.
1398 01:09:56 Can we go?
1399 01:09:59 Uh, right.So, my time machine
1400 01:10:02 works off ofa very specific fuel.
1401 01:10:04 - Yeah.- Do you know what Orbitz are?
1402 01:10:06 - It's a--- Yep. I know what they are.
1403 01:10:08 Still, man, I gotso much to tell you, but...
1404 01:10:09 - Uh-huh.- Okay,
1405 01:10:11 so, I built a time machine!
1406 01:10:12 Yes.
1407 01:10:13 And I thought,wouldn't it be fun...
1408 01:10:15 - Yeah?- just for the fun of it...
1409 01:10:16 Just for the fun, yeah.
1410 01:10:17 ...we go in itand we go back--
1411 01:10:19 Pick a date.
1412 01:10:22 Oh, 2008.
1413 01:10:25 Okay. And if you wanted to,like, you could go...
1414 01:10:28 - You can go anywhere.- ...two days ago.
1415 01:10:31 Two days ago? Why would you--What do you mean? Why go back?
1416 01:10:33 I spilled somewine on my pants.
1417 01:10:35 You're saying, uh, hypothetically?
1418 01:10:36 - Hypothetically.- Two day-- No problem.
1419 01:10:38 Why would you go back two--- I don't understand.
1420 01:10:40 - Okay.- Talking about a time machine.
1421 01:10:42 We could go visit 2008, Obama.
1422 01:10:44 - Obamna!- Yes.
1423 01:10:45 The only problem is,I don't have fuel.
1424 01:10:48 There's no, uh, fuel.
1425 01:10:50 Well-- And why Orbitz?
1426 01:10:52 Let's get a little,uh, beat going.
1427 01:10:55 What makes Orbitz powerful?
1428 01:10:57 What's the magic in Orbitz?What's the-- what's the--
1429 01:11:00 what's the specialsoul of an Orbitz?
1430 01:11:02 I don't know.
1431 01:11:03 - The ingredients.- Oh!
1432 01:11:05 Maybe there's an ingredient
1433 01:11:07 inside the Orbitz that wecan use. This is--
1434 01:11:09 Sugar? Cane sugar?
1435 01:11:11 Gelatin.
1436 01:11:13 This is soundingvery, uh, like, safe,
1437 01:11:17 non-swearing rapfrom the '80s.
1438 01:11:20 - Yeah.- And I'm up there with a mic,
1439 01:11:22 teaching people the alphabet.
1440 01:11:25 ♪ You got your A, your B
1441 01:11:28 ♪ Your C
1442 01:11:29 ♪ Your D, E, F
1443 01:11:32 ♪ And don't forget G
1444 01:11:35 And that's a huge,fat Black guy.
1445 01:11:38 Bill Cosby's walking around.
1446 01:11:40 ♪ If you wannalearn the alphabet ♪
1447 01:11:43 ♪ Here's what you get
1448 01:11:45 ♪ You get A, B, C
1449 01:11:48 Okay, and--and the secret message
1450 01:11:50 of so many ofthose things was--
1451 01:11:52 Okay, so, what are-- What's--what's in the Orbitz?
1452 01:11:54 Uh... we know there'san ingredient in Orbitz,
1453 01:11:57 and it's nota normal ingredient.
1454 01:11:59 The-- The bottleis smashed.
1455 01:12:01 There's a listof ingredients on it.
1456 01:12:02 - Oh, yes, smashed the bottle.- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
1457 01:12:05 I'm trying to picture.Like, I remember I was here,
1458 01:12:06 and I had the bottle,I picked it up,
1459 01:12:09 I looked at the back...
1460 01:12:11 I'm seeing right now, you knowwhat the slogan of this is?
1461 01:12:13 What?
1462 01:12:14 "A bolt of lightningin every bottle."
1463 01:12:17 It's a pile of [bleep]in every bottle.
1464 01:12:20 Those drinks suck!
1465 01:12:22 "A bolt of lightning in"--No, what does it say?
1466 01:12:24 - A what? What?- That's just the tagline
1467 01:12:26 "A bolt of lightning in everybottle."
1468 01:12:28 "A bolt of lightningin every bottle. A bolt..."
1469 01:12:29 No, no, that's just-- that'sjust like, marketing, though.
1470 01:12:31 - Yeah, but what if it's not?- But it can't be
1471 01:12:33 in a liquid bottle.
1472 01:12:35 How do we know? Two days ago,time travel wasn't real!
1473 01:12:38 Then I pour a juice on it,and it works!
1474 01:12:41 We at least try it!
1475 01:12:43 We just need to finda way to get lightning
1476 01:12:44 to strike the time machine.
1477 01:12:47 If only we knew whenlightning was gonna hit the...
1478 01:12:50 You know what time it is?
1479 01:12:51 It's, uh, 9:03.
1480 01:12:53 I know when lightning'sgonna hit the CN Tower!
1481 01:12:55 Oh, right!
1482 01:12:57 What do you mean, "Oh, right?"What are you talking about,
1483 01:12:59 "Oh, right?"How would you know?
1484 01:13:01 That was a differentversion of you.
1485 01:13:03 This hadn't evenhappened yet.
1486 01:13:05 I mean, oh, great.
1487 01:13:06 Did you say, "Oh,great" or "Oh, right"?
1488 01:13:07 - I said, "Oh, great."- Or did you say,
1489 01:13:09 "Great Scott!"?Is that what you said?
1490 01:13:10 - Yes.- Great Scott!
1491 01:13:12 This is reallyall coming together.
1492 01:13:14 - Right.- This is just like
1493 01:13:15 Back to the Future.This is insane.
1494 01:13:17 There would be all the...
1495 01:13:19 No, no. You can't do that.That's very copywritten.
1496 01:13:21 Well, if you could just go...
1497 01:13:29 This is going to bea copyright nightmare.
1498 01:13:33 Like, if you're watching thisin theaters,
1499 01:13:35 thank your luckystars because
1500 01:13:36 this is gonna be the onlyscreening of this ever.
1501 01:13:39 10,000 gigawatts!
1502 01:13:41 Dr. Emmett Brown!
1503 01:13:43 Come on!
1504 01:13:56 Look, there's Spider-Man.
1505 01:14:03 Whoa, this is trippingme out.
1506 01:14:06 Okay, so, I gotta--I'm gonna run around there.
1507 01:14:10 You wait, and I'll chuckthe rope down.
1508 01:14:13 Holy shit, this is crazy.
1509 01:14:15 I remember you.
1510 01:14:19 Oh, right,we never met before.
1511 01:14:20 - No.- Yeah, okay, sorry.
1512 01:14:23 Yeah, right, right,right, never mind.
1513 01:14:25 Okay, okay.I'll see you soon.
1514 01:14:33 How you doing?
1515 01:14:39 Dude, are you Jay McCarrol?
1516 01:14:41 Hi, no. Sorry. I don't--
1517 01:14:43 I'm not actually him.I just look like him.
1518 01:14:45 Oh, okay.
1519 01:14:51 Jared, areyou fucking dying?
1520 01:14:52 Yeah.
1521 01:14:56 Are you there?
1522 01:14:59 Yep.I'm still climbing, Bird.
1523 01:15:00 You're still climbing?
1524 01:15:02 Yes.
1525 01:15:03 Still?
1526 01:15:21 Oh, my God.
1527 01:15:28 Holy fuck!
1528 01:15:34 Jay, we made it to the top!
1529 01:15:37 You've got to clear the way.Otherwise,
1530 01:15:39 the rope is going todemolish whoever it hits.
1531 01:15:42 How you doing?
1532 01:15:43 - Good and you?- Good.
1533 01:15:45 Trying to get in touchwith somebody?
1534 01:15:46 Uh, yeah, my friendis just up there.
1535 01:15:49 Part of the crewup there?
1536 01:15:50 With the...the chefs?
1537 01:15:52 - Yes.- Okay...
1538 01:15:55 Come on.
1539 01:16:13 Sorry. You guys might justwant to move out of the way.
1540 01:16:16 Yeah, drop it whenever!
1541 01:16:22 Whoa.
1542 01:16:31 Whew. Huh.
1543 01:16:35 Okay, I got it!
1544 01:16:40 Where's the knot?
1545 01:16:43 Got it.
1546 01:16:47 Okay, Matt.
1547 01:16:48 It's all hooked up!You can pull it up now!
1548 01:16:57 All right, there she goes!
1549 01:17:02 It's not exactlyinconspicuous.
1550 01:17:27 What's going on here?
1551 01:17:29 Uh, it's-- it's just-- um...
1552 01:17:33 Well... this is actually kindof hard to explain.
1553 01:17:36 Um...
1554 01:17:39 You see, my friend'spart of, uh,
1555 01:17:41 a chef, uh, situationor something.
1556 01:17:59 Okay.
1557 01:18:00 Okay, we're coming down!
1558 01:18:15 ♪ Old days
1559 01:18:19 ♪ Good times I remember
1560 01:18:23 ♪ Fun days
1561 01:18:27 ♪ Filled withsimple pleasure ♪
1562 01:18:32 ♪ Drive-in movies
1563 01:18:36 ♪ Comic booksand blue jeans ♪
1564 01:18:40 ♪ Howdy Doody
1565 01:18:44 ♪ Baseball cardsand birthdays ♪
1566 01:18:47 ♪ Take me back
1567 01:18:50 ♪ To the world gone away
1568 01:18:54 ♪ Memories
1569 01:18:58 ♪ Seem like yesterday
1570 01:19:16 Here.
1571 01:19:18 Well, I don't know--I don't...
1572 01:19:19 Just get it open!
1573 01:19:21 Uh...
1574 01:19:26 Oh, yes! Okay.
1575 01:19:28 - It's like flying a kite.- So, plug that in.
1576 01:19:32 Do we have to, like,hot-wire this or something?
1577 01:19:34 No, no, you justplug it in, like that.
1578 01:19:35 Just plug it into the thing.
1579 01:19:37 Jam it in.
1580 01:19:42 Come on.
1581 01:19:43 Yes!
1582 01:19:45 Yeah!
1583 01:19:47 Ooh, careful.
1584 01:19:49 - Sort of close this.- We just...
1585 01:19:56 - Yeah, that's good. Right?- Yeah.
1586 01:19:58 Excuse me. Are yougonna be here for a while?
1587 01:20:00 Sorry?
1588 01:20:01 Would you do me a favourand make sure nobody
1589 01:20:03 comes up to this while we'regone and unplugs it
1590 01:20:05 or anything like that?
1591 01:20:06 For like...How many?
1592 01:20:08 Like, uh...
1593 01:20:09 Lightning hits at 9:03.Like, maybe 30 minutes.
1594 01:20:12 Okay.Thank you.
1595 01:20:13 - Yeah.- Thank you. Okay.
1596 01:20:15 - Okay, let's go.- Great. Okay.
1597 01:20:31 Thirteen minutes.
1598 01:20:33 How does this thing work?Like, how do you set it?
1599 01:20:36 You type in the date.You want to see how it works?
1600 01:20:38 - Yeah, show me.- You type in-- Watch. Okay.
1601 01:20:40 So, look.Month, day, year, time.
1602 01:20:43 So, the month is, yeah,
1603 01:20:44 we'll say... September.
1604 01:20:46 So, nine, and the day.
1605 01:20:47 Ah, let's say September 26th.Why not?
1606 01:20:49 And then randomly 2008.
1607 01:20:52 And then we'll say 10in the morning,
1608 01:20:53 just so thatI've got lots of time.
1609 01:20:56 There. See? 2008.It's gonna be like the end
1610 01:20:58 of Back to the Future,but without any of the drama.
1611 01:21:00 Oh!
1612 01:21:02 8:50, okay,it's go time!
1613 01:21:04 Okay!
1614 01:21:22 Okay.
1615 01:21:25 How you guys doing?
1616 01:21:27 It's, uh-- it's to catchthe streetcar electricity.
1617 01:21:31 You're allowed to do that?
1618 01:21:33 Well, it's aone-time-only thing.
1619 01:21:36 Oh, God!
1620 01:22:02 You guys know whatI'm doing, right?
1621 01:22:06 What the hell?
1622 01:22:08 I'm like Teen Wolfa little bit, right?
1623 01:22:12 Matt!
1624 01:22:14 We got a problem.
1625 01:22:15 What?
1626 01:22:19 What-- What is it?
1627 01:22:20 Look! It got disconnectedfrom the top of the tower!
1628 01:22:25 Oh, Matt, you didn'thook it up right!
1629 01:22:30 Uh-- uh--
1630 01:22:31 Okay, I'll be right back.
1631 01:22:33 I think-- Hey,where you going?
1632 01:22:35 Matt, where you going?
1633 01:22:37 Matt!
1634 01:22:40 Matt! Matt!
1635 01:22:42 [bleep] Uh, [bleep].
1636 01:22:53 Yo, you're on TV, bro!
1637 01:22:54 What?
1638 01:22:55 - Yo, for real!- No.
1639 01:22:57 - You're on fucking TV!- No, no, no, no, it's good.
1640 01:23:04 Tonight, we dive intothe story that has captivated
1641 01:23:06 the city of Torontoover the last 24 hours.
1642 01:23:10 A shootingoccurred in the tour bus
1643 01:23:12 parked outsideof the home
1644 01:23:13 of Canadian rockstar Jay McCarrol.
1645 01:23:16 In the first majorupdate of this case,
1646 01:23:18 police are nowreporting the shooter
1647 01:23:19 is none other thanJay McCarrol himself.
1648 01:23:21 That's right, Marci.He was last spotted
1649 01:23:23 leaving the area justoutside of his mansion.
1650 01:23:26 His current whereaboutsare unknown,
1651 01:23:27 but police believe he maystill be in the city.
1652 01:23:30 Police are urgingthe public to report
1653 01:23:32 any sightingsof the rock star
1654 01:23:34 while also cautioning themto keep their distance,
1655 01:23:37 as he considered to bearmed and dangerous.
1656 01:23:40 The motive of the shootingis still unclear,
1657 01:23:42 but witnesses reportstrange behaviour from Jay
1658 01:23:45 starting when he enteredhis tour bus that day.
1659 01:23:47 Oh.
1660 01:23:53 We have breakingnews out of downtown Toronto.
1661 01:23:55 A man has been spottedon the tip of the CN Tower.
1662 01:23:59 CP24's news chopperis on the scene
1663 01:24:02 with a live lookat the action.
1664 01:24:04 Brad, tell uswhat you're seeing.
1665 01:24:05 What exactlyis this man doing?
1666 01:24:06 Read that!
1667 01:24:07 Breaking News: Man on CN Tower.
1668 01:24:09 ...exactly what this man...
1669 01:24:22 Oh! Okay.
1670 01:24:25 I got it!
1671 01:24:26 It lookslike an extension cord
1672 01:24:29 stretching all the wayfrom the top of the tower
1673 01:24:32 down to street level.
1674 01:24:42 Yo, what!?
1675 01:24:43 Yo, what is gwanin?
1676 01:24:46 Yo!What is gwanin?
1677 01:24:50 What the fuck isgwanin?
1678 01:24:54 Okay!
1679 01:25:10 Matt, you did it!
1680 01:25:12 It's all green!
1681 01:25:14 Okay, good, I'm coming down!
1682 01:25:19 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.What'd you do?
1683 01:25:21 I just plugged it in!What do you mean?
1684 01:25:23 No, it's red now!It's red on the street.
1685 01:25:25 On the street?
1686 01:25:32 You [bleep] moron,you ripped the cable out!
1687 01:25:35 Oh, no!
1688 01:25:39 Oh...
1689 01:25:44 Matt, we are [bleep]!
1690 01:25:45 I'm sorry!
1691 01:25:46 Jay, I'm sorry!
1692 01:25:48 I have somethingfigured out.
1693 01:25:50 That I fell for another oneof your stupid plans!
1694 01:25:59 No!
1695 01:26:03 Oh, Matt!
1696 01:26:06 Oh, God!
1697 01:26:10 Oh! Yeah!
1698 01:26:16 Oh, my God!
1699 01:26:19 Yeah!
1700 01:26:22 Yeah!
1701 01:26:57 TTC Voice:Next stop King Street West.
1702 01:27:10 Holy shit.
1703 01:27:17 Excuse me! Sorry!
1704 01:27:24 Okay.
1705 01:27:36 Oh, [bleep].
1706 01:27:37 Oh, [bleep]!
1707 01:27:53 Oh...
1708 01:27:59 Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
1709 01:28:06 Oh! What the fuck?
1710 01:28:17 Oh, my God!
1711 01:28:20 How do I do this?
1712 01:28:33 Oh!
1713 01:28:36 Matt, what'sgoing on, buddy?
1714 01:28:44 You wanna--Do you wanna help me?
1715 01:28:46 Sorry?
1716 01:28:47 - Oh, you not from Toronto?- No.
1717 01:28:49 Where you guys from?
1718 01:28:50 - French!- From France or from Quebec?
1719 01:28:52 Yeaaah.France!
1720 01:28:53 - Oh, from France?Welcome to Toronto.
1721 01:28:55 How you doing?That's the CN Tower up there.
1722 01:28:58 Yeah.
1723 01:28:59 So, I'm trying toget my cable plugged in here,
1724 01:29:01 but I can't, uh...Do you wanna hold
1725 01:29:02 my walkie-talkiefor me for a second?
1726 01:29:04 Yeaaahof course!
1727 01:29:05 Come on! You motherfucker.
1728 01:29:07 Matt, what'sgoing on with that cable?
1729 01:29:09 Jesus... Can you pressthe return key?
1730 01:29:11 - Where?- Like this, just press this.
1731 01:29:12 Okay.
1732 01:29:14 Bird, we have a problem,but I'm gonna fix it.
1733 01:29:18 This is funny to you?
1734 01:29:20 'Cause, like, my whole lifeis riding on this.
1735 01:29:32 Pull over!
1736 01:29:34 Oh, [bleep]!
1737 01:29:35 - Pull over now!- No!
1738 01:29:37 Pullover your vehicle--
1739 01:29:39 No!
1740 01:30:03 - Hypothetically...- Right.
1741 01:30:05 If I wanted to go back...
1742 01:30:08 two days...?
1743 01:30:10 Two days ago?Why would you go--
1744 01:30:11 What do you mean?Why would you go back?
1745 01:30:13 I spilled some wineon my pants.
1746 01:30:16 Or maybe I...
1747 01:30:18 killed someone.
1748 01:30:25 Hey, Matt.
1749 01:30:26 Uh, everything's goinggood back here.
1750 01:30:28 You haven't missed much.
1751 01:30:31 I'm still at the spot,just waiting for you.
1752 01:30:32 Uh, just wondering
1753 01:30:35 the ETA on that cableconnection.
1754 01:30:39 Uh, just plug it in,and then you come back here,
1755 01:30:42 and I'll be waiting herefor you.
1756 01:30:45 But here's the thing -
1757 01:30:46 you'll get electrocuted.
1758 01:30:47 Oh, it wouldbe like in a movie,
1759 01:30:49 like, where the electricitygoes right through my body.
1760 01:30:51 - Yeah.- And I turn into a skeleton.
1761 01:31:13 Oh! Oh, yeah!
1762 01:31:16 Woo-hoo-hoo!
1763 01:33:14 Jay!
1764 01:33:15 I figured it out!
1765 01:33:20 Okay, so...
1766 01:33:22 This plan is called
1767 01:33:24 the Seventh Inning...
1768 01:33:28 ...Skydive.
1769 01:33:31 So, step one:we skydive...
1770 01:33:35 into the... SkyDome.
1771 01:33:39 We, during a game,
1772 01:33:41 go up the CN Tower...
1773 01:33:46 Matt?
1774 01:33:50 You know, maybe weshould go early,
1775 01:33:54 just in case the weather getsbad and they shut the dome?
1776 01:33:58 The wea... Oh. Yeah.
1777 01:34:00 Okay, yeah,that's a good point.
1778 01:34:01 Yeah, we don't wanna getcaught on the roof of the...
1779 01:34:04 Yeah, okay, sure,so, we'll go early.
1780 01:34:06 Uh, right, go early.
1781 01:34:09 Okay. So,here's the plan.
1782 01:34:16 ♪ A stick, a stone
1783 01:34:18 ♪ It's the end of the road
1784 01:34:20 ♪ It's feeling alone
1785 01:34:22 ♪ It's the weightof your load ♪
1786 01:34:24 ♪ It's a sliver of glass
1787 01:34:25 ♪ It's life,it's the sun, it's night ♪
1788 01:34:28 ♪ It's death,it's a knife, it's a gun ♪
1789 01:34:31 ♪ A flower that blooms
1790 01:34:33 ♪ A fox in the brush
1791 01:34:35 ♪ A knot in the wood
1792 01:34:37 ♪ The song of a thrush
1793 01:34:39 ♪ The mystery of life
1794 01:34:41 ♪ The steps in the hall
1795 01:34:42 ♪ The sound of the wind
1796 01:34:44 ♪ And the waterfall
1797 01:34:46 ♪ It's the moonfloating free ♪
1798 01:34:48 ♪ It's the curveof the slope ♪
1799 01:34:50 ♪ It's an ant, it's a bee
1800 01:34:52 ♪ It's a reason for hope
1801 01:34:54 ♪ And the riverbank sings
1802 01:34:55 ♪ Of the waters of March
1803 01:34:57 ♪ It's the promiseof spring ♪
1804 01:34:59 ♪ It's the joyin your heart ♪
1805 01:35:25 ♪ A spear, a spike
1806 01:35:33 ♪ A stake, a nail
1807 01:35:35 ♪ It's a drip, it's a drop
1808 01:35:37 ♪ It's the end of the tale
1809 01:35:39 ♪ The dew on the leaf inthe morning light ♪
1810 01:35:42 ♪ The shot of a gunin the dead of the night ♪
1811 01:35:46 ♪ A mile, a must
1812 01:35:48 ♪ A thrust, a bump
1813 01:35:50 ♪ It's the will to survive
1814 01:35:52 ♪ It's a jolt, it's a jump
1815 01:35:53 ♪ A blueprint of a house
1816 01:35:55 ♪ A body in bed
1817 01:35:57 ♪ A car stuck in the mud
1818 01:35:59 ♪ It's the mud,it's the mud ♪
1819 01:36:01 ♪ A fish, a flash
1820 01:36:03 ♪ A wish, a wing
1821 01:36:04 ♪ It's a hawk, it's a dove
1822 01:36:06 ♪ It's the promise of spring
1823 01:36:08 ♪ And the riverbank sings ofthe waters of March ♪
1824 01:36:12 ♪ It's the end of despair
1825 01:36:14 ♪ It's the joy in your heart
1826 01:37:09 ♪ A stick, a stone
1827 01:37:11 ♪ It's the end of the road
1828 01:37:13 ♪ The stump of a tree
1829 01:37:14 ♪ It's a frog, it's a toad
1830 01:37:16 ♪ A sigh of breath
1831 01:37:18 ♪ A walk, a run
1832 01:37:20 ♪ A life, a death
1833 01:37:21 ♪ The rain, the sun
1834 01:37:23 ♪ And the riverbank sings
1835 01:37:25 ♪ Of the waters of March
1836 01:37:27 ♪ It's the promise of life
1837 01:37:29 ♪ It's the joy in your heart