生活残骸 (Trainwreck)(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:00:28 Girls, your mother andI are getting divorced.
2 00:00:31 Don't cry. I know you'reupset, I know you're confused.
3 00:00:35 I don't know whatyour mother told you,
4 00:00:36 but let me explain itfrom my side,
5 00:00:38 in terms you can understand.
6 00:00:44 You got yourdoll, right?
7 00:00:45 You got yourdoll there.
8 00:00:46 Yeah.
9 00:00:47 You got your doll, you likeyour doll, right? Yes.
10 00:00:50 You love your doll. Yeah.
11 00:00:51 Yes, you love the doll.
12 00:00:53 But what ifI told you
13 00:00:55 that was the only dollyou're allowed to play with
14 00:00:57 the rest of your life?
15 00:00:59 How would you feel?
16 00:01:01 Sad.
17 00:01:02 You'd feel sad!Of course!
18 00:01:04 Because there's a lot ofother dolls on your shelves.
19 00:01:06 And if you playwith the other dolls,
20 00:01:07 you can't havethat doll anymore.
21 00:01:09 Even though thatdoll doesn't really
22 00:01:10 want to play withyou at this point.
23 00:01:11 You're bothliving a lie!
24 00:01:14 There's otherdolls you like,
25 00:01:15 and they're makingnew dolls every year.
26 00:01:17 You want astewardess doll?
27 00:01:18 BOTH: Yeah.
28 00:01:20 What about a slightly overweightcocktail waitress doll?
29 00:01:22 BOTH: Yeah.
30 00:01:23 What about a dollwho happens to be
31 00:01:24 best friendswith your main doll?
32 00:01:26 BOTH: Yeah.
33 00:01:27 It could happen, right?BOTH: Yeah.
34 00:01:29 What about a doll you only playwith one day and never see again?
35 00:01:31 BOTH: (EMPHATICALLY) Yeah!
36 00:01:33 What about a doll where yourfriend's playing with the doll,
37 00:01:35 and he needs you to kind ofman up with the other doll.
38 00:01:39 You don't even wantto play with that doll,
39 00:01:40 but you do it because yourfriend's playing with that doll.
40 00:01:42 You don't wanna sit there andleave the other doll unattended.
41 00:01:44 BOTH: Yeah.
42 00:01:46 So that's why me and Momare getting divorced.
43 00:01:48 Monogamy isn't realistic!
44 00:01:51 BOTH: Monogamyisn't realistic!
45 00:01:54 Again!
46 00:01:55 BOTH: Monogamyisn't realistic.
47 00:01:57 Again!
48 00:02:01 (mssnue)
49 00:02:02 (MOANING)
50 00:02:03 AMY: I never do this.This is so weird for me.
51 00:02:09 (BREATHING HEAVILY)
52 00:02:14 I really likethese ones.
53 00:02:16 Oh, no!
54 00:02:19 Shit! That's your dick? Uh-huh!
55 00:02:22 Too big! Your dickdoesn't end.
56 00:02:26 Why doesn't your dick end?(CHUCKLES)
57 00:02:29 Have you everfucked someone before?
58 00:02:31 Where is she buried?
59 00:02:33 That looks like the wholecast of Game of Thrones.
60 00:02:37 Come here.
61 00:02:42 You know what?
62 00:02:44 I'm, like, really shy, Uh-huh.
63 00:02:47 So we should probablydo this first
64 00:02:48 so I feelcomfortable with you.
65 00:02:50 Yeah, all right.
66 00:02:53 A little warm-up. I know.Yeah, a little warm-up.
67 00:02:56 You tastelike mango.
68 00:02:57 Just stop talking, okay?Just, like...
69 00:03:00 Just do the alphabet.
70 00:03:02 Just hang upat the top.
71 00:03:03 Everything importantis up at the top.
72 00:03:06 Yeah, that's good.
73 00:03:07 Okay.
74 00:03:10 (INHALING SHARPLY)
75 00:03:14 (MOANS)
76 00:03:16 (SNORING)
77 00:03:18 MAN: Hey,you like that, right?
78 00:03:22 (WH ISPE RS) Amy?
79 00:03:24 Hey.
80 00:03:26 I think it'smy turn, baby.
81 00:03:28 Amy, seriously,my turn.
82 00:03:31 Muffin, remember yousaid you were gonna...
83 00:03:34 (CONTINUES SNORING)
84 00:03:38 MAN: Okay.
85 00:03:45 AMY". Hey, guys, I'm Amy.Don't judge me, fuckers!
86 00:03:49 I'm just a sexual girl, okay?
87 00:03:51 I am fine. I am in control.
88 00:03:55 This is clearlynot my first rodeo.
89 00:03:58 The key is to neverever let them sleep over.
90 00:04:01 I got a couple of ticksto The Black Keys,
91 00:04:04 Thursday, if you want... Ooh...
92 00:04:06 Thanks. Bye!
93 00:04:09 AMY: All right, good night.
94 00:04:11 All right, bye.Good night.
95 00:04:13 Oh...
96 00:04:15 I guess I do love pussy.(CHUCKLES)
97 00:04:20 AMY". Look, I have a great joband my apartment is sick,
98 00:04:24 and my friends andfamily are awesome,
99 00:04:25 and Pm sort ofseeing someone.
100 00:04:28 This dude is not him.
101 00:04:32 This guy is whoFm seeing. Kind of.
102 00:04:35 He's hot, right?
103 00:04:37 He is great, but it is likefucking an ice sculpture.
104 00:04:41 (SNORING)
105 00:04:41 (SNORING)
106 00:04:45 Okay, so I brokethe sleepover rule.
107 00:04:47 Where am I?
108 00:04:49 Scarf ace poster. Ugh!
109 00:04:51 Please don't be a dorm room.Please don't be a dorm room.
110 00:04:53 There she is.Buenos dias, baby.
111 00:04:56 Oh, my God!
112 00:04:57 You look likean angel.
113 00:04:59 What time is it?
114 00:05:00 MAN: It's like 7:30in the morning.
115 00:05:02 I didn't know if I shouldlet you sleep or not.
116 00:05:04 Or make you breakfast.
117 00:05:05 I chose breakfast.
118 00:05:07 Where am I?
119 00:05:08 Oh, you're inStaten Island, sugar!
120 00:05:10 What?
121 00:05:12 AMY: Fuck!
122 00:05:15 Hey, so when do you thinkI'm gonna see you again?
123 00:05:17 Soon. Like,really, really soon.
124 00:05:18 Hey, hey, hey.You don't gotta rush off.
125 00:05:20 Oh.
126 00:05:22 My God, you're stunning.
127 00:05:24 Thank you.
128 00:05:25 Hey, so Saturday...
129 00:05:27 Saturday, my aunt is getting married, andshe's having a little barbecue beforehand,
130 00:05:30 and I would love itif you were my date, baby.
131 00:05:32 Like, if I walked in with you?Oh, my God.
132 00:05:35 Johnny would be like,"Yo! Oli, what's up, kid?
133 00:05:40 Like, "Who's that piece?"You know? "She's bodied down."
134 00:05:43 Right, I don't know what that means, but,like, I can't do that because, like,
135 00:05:48 you and I won't eversee each other again.
136 00:05:50 I didn't think you were gonna, like,follow up so quick about hanging out,
137 00:05:54 but this is it for us.
138 00:05:56 Well, but...Our journeys over.
139 00:05:58 I could just say I'd see ya...Till Saturday.
140 00:06:01 Ourjourney's over now becauseI probably won't see you,
141 00:06:04 because I gotta get to work, andyou gotta go be foine as hell.
142 00:06:09 Okay, bye.I got Bikram yoga, so...
143 00:06:12 Hey, you can say whatever youwant, baby, but hips don't lie.
144 00:06:15 Hey, check your Twitter,I might direct message you.
145 00:06:18 Might DM.
146 00:06:19 Yes, sir!
147 00:06:21 Yes, sir!
148 00:07:09 NOAM: What's up, buddy?Help me out, dude. Come on.
149 00:07:11 Noam, watch out.Good morning.
150 00:07:13 Oh! Amy!
151 00:07:15 There she is,my princess.
152 00:07:16 What happened? Didchurch let out early?
153 00:07:18 Ha-ha.(CHUCKLES)
154 00:07:19 NOAM: Hey! Amy,where are you going?
155 00:07:21 This isn'tPlanned Parenthood.
156 00:07:30 Oh, my God.Shut up!
157 00:07:32 You have to tell meeverything about last night.
158 00:07:33 I went on your lnstagram.That guy is like, so hot.
159 00:07:37 He looks kind of likea white Drake. No.
160 00:07:39 He was likea Puerto Rican Gollum.
161 00:07:41 I'm not talkingabout it.
162 00:07:42 AMY: Do you have to pee?Yeah, totally.
163 00:07:44 (TINKLING)
164 00:07:46 AMY: Did you hear Johnny Depp iscoming into the office today?
165 00:07:48 NIKKI: Oh, yeah.I'm all over that.
166 00:07:50 Which versionof Johnny Depp
167 00:07:52 would you mostwanna have sex with?
168 00:07:53 Which one does itfor you the most?
169 00:07:54 Because I can'tstop thinking about it.
170 00:07:56 For me, it'sPirates of the Caribbean.
171 00:07:57 I love a fullymade up, long hair,
172 00:08:00 almost feminine-lookingJohnny Depp.
173 00:08:02 Not almost. He looks like abeautiful woman in that movie.
174 00:08:05 Yeah. Who would be yours?
175 00:08:07 I'm thinking, like, an EdwardScissorhands Johnny Depp.
176 00:08:10 You would gettotally cut up.
177 00:08:12 Yeah, but he'd feelso bad about it
178 00:08:14 that he'd be like,"I'll never leave you."
179 00:08:15 And I would get,like, a sick haircut.
180 00:08:17 Yeah. Yeah.
181 00:08:18 But also, guess what?Willy Wonka, bring it on.
182 00:08:22 Oh, my God, totally.Right?
183 00:08:23 Yeah. I wouldfuck the shit
184 00:08:25 out of Willy WonkaJohnny Depp.
185 00:08:27 DIANNA: Okay, my babes,I want your undivided.
186 00:08:30 I've been lookingat your pitches
187 00:08:32 and these aremy thoughts.
188 00:08:33 Nikki.
189 00:08:35 Why are you smiling?
190 00:08:37 I'm not smiling,I'm just very nervous.
191 00:08:39 DIANNA: Stop smiling.Stop smiling.
192 00:08:42 That's even more.Nikki.
193 00:08:44 The more nervous I get,the more I smile, so...
194 00:08:47 Stop smiling.
195 00:08:49 Stop it. Stop it.
196 00:08:51 Nikki, shut it down. Come on.Bring it down, bring it down.
197 00:08:55 That's it.
198 00:08:56 I'm sick of yourginger nonsense.
199 00:08:58 I don't wanna seethose gnashers. No.
200 00:09:01 Stop it.What's this?
201 00:09:02 BRYSON: That's ournew intern, Donald.
202 00:09:04 I thought we were gettinga chick, but he's here.
203 00:09:06 Okay.Welcome, Donald.
204 00:09:08 Welcome to S'nuff where we areteaching the strong-willed man
205 00:09:11 how to dress,think, eat, fuck.
206 00:09:13 Do you like themagazine, Donald?
207 00:09:14 Oh, yeah, it's pretty much all I read.Good answer.
208 00:09:17 Look, this is ours. This is ours.Right? We made this.
209 00:09:21 What's our demographic?
210 00:09:22 ALL: Every-fucking-one.
211 00:09:25 Thank you.You can go now.
212 00:09:27 Yeah, thank you.It's a big opportunity.
213 00:09:30 Right, pitch me.Pitch me hard. Schultz?
214 00:09:34 So I was thinkingof something called
215 00:09:35 the "S'nuffGuide toBeating Off at Work."
216 00:09:37 Where to do it,how to do it,
217 00:09:39 how not toget caught.
218 00:09:40 How to get caught.
219 00:09:42 SCHULTZ: Makes it more fun.
220 00:09:43 I already startedthe research, you guys.
221 00:09:45 (CHUCKLING)
222 00:09:47 DIANNA: Bryson?Okay, I got one.
223 00:09:48 "You're not gay.She's boring."
224 00:09:51 DIANNA: Good.Yeah?
225 00:09:52 Fantastic! I can see it.Thank you.
226 00:09:54 Okay. I haveanother to pitch.
227 00:09:55 Maybe a cover,I don't know.
228 00:09:57 Uh...
229 00:09:58 "You call those tits?"
230 00:10:00 That's good. Yeah.
231 00:10:02 And then maybe like a"Where are they now?" piece
232 00:10:04 about the kids MichaelJackson gave settlements to.
233 00:10:07 DIANNA: Good.Ooh...
234 00:10:08 I want to know.
235 00:10:09 That's good, yeah.
236 00:10:10 I play ice hockey with one of them.I'll get an email.
237 00:10:13 DIAN NA: Yeah, that's good.
238 00:10:14 Right. So, assignments.
239 00:10:15 Schultz, you're onthe Ryan Phillippe piece.
240 00:10:18 Oh! What?
241 00:10:19 Yes! Crashwas epic.
242 00:10:20 I was thinking I would take astab at the Phillippe piece.
243 00:10:23 No. Ryan, I tell you, he'sin a major funk right now,
244 00:10:26 and he will respondmuch better
245 00:10:28 to a male who is neitherattractive nor masculine.
246 00:10:30 Blam! That's meright here.
247 00:10:33 Bryson, I've gota red mark by your name.
248 00:10:35 Why would that be?Yes, okay.
249 00:10:37 I am pitchingDr. Aaron Conners.
250 00:10:39 He works withsome of the Knicks.
251 00:10:41 He's this incredible, youngsports physician on the rise,
252 00:10:45 and he just createdthis revolutionary
253 00:10:46 knee insert that cutsrecovery time in half.
254 00:10:49 He's about to perform iton Amar'e Stoudemire.
255 00:10:51 It will be the first time it'sever been done on a pro athlete.
256 00:10:53 If we get this,we'll have access
257 00:10:55 to the biggestnames in sports.
258 00:10:56 LeBron, Durant,Blake Griffin.
259 00:10:59 I've heard of this guy. He didD'Brickashaw Ferguson's knee, right?
260 00:11:02 Yes.
261 00:11:03 Yeah, and MettaWorld Peace's too.
262 00:11:04 Yeah. Thabo Sefolosha owes hiswhole career to this guy.
263 00:11:07 Are thesereal names?
264 00:11:08 What's that, Amy?Your thoughts?
265 00:11:10 AMY: I'm sorry, I just...
266 00:11:12 I don't know why we treatthese athletes like heroes
267 00:11:15 just becausethey can skate fast
268 00:11:16 or kick a ball in a net.
269 00:11:18 I just think it's weird.No offense.
270 00:11:20 I just think thatsports are stupid,
271 00:11:23 and anyone wholikes them
272 00:11:25 is just, like,a lesser person.
273 00:11:28 And has asmall intellect.
274 00:11:34 Killer. I want youto write the piece.
275 00:11:37 What?What?
276 00:11:39 Oh, no, I literallycan't stomach sports.
277 00:11:41 Yeah, I know. Youropposition is perfection.
278 00:11:44 This really feelslike a Bryson article.
279 00:11:45 Yeah, this feels like a "me" article.I pitched it.
280 00:11:48 Yeah, you pitched it.I'm giving it to Amy.
281 00:11:49 What are you saying? Yougiving me some attitude here?
282 00:11:51 This isn't a fuckingmedical journal.
283 00:11:53 I can do opposition,I can do sexy.
284 00:11:55 I want that.I want that hatred.
285 00:11:58 I'm giving it to Amy.
286 00:11:59 Don't sulk at me.I'm not sulking.
287 00:12:01 This is my decision.I'm giving it to Amy.
288 00:12:03 Sure. Fine.
289 00:12:07 BRYSON: I can do sexy though.Sorry?
290 00:12:08 Huh? Nothing. I'm fine.DIANNA: What?
291 00:12:12 I'm just having fun.(CHUCKES DRYLY)
292 00:12:15 DIANNA: Nikki,I want you to research
293 00:12:17 whether garlic makes sementaste any different.
294 00:12:20 Oh... Um...
295 00:12:22 How am I supposed to get the...DIANNA: Thank you.
296 00:12:24 You inspire me.
297 00:12:28 It tastes the same.
298 00:12:32 Amy.
299 00:12:35 I'm not tryingto punish you.
300 00:12:36 Does it feela little like I am?
301 00:12:38 No, no,I appreciate the...
302 00:12:40 I know you want to branchout and cover more,
303 00:12:42 and you do knowI'm looking for a new
304 00:12:45 executive editor,don't you?
305 00:12:46 I do know that, and I'mvery, very interested.
306 00:12:49 Hmm. I'd love to be considered.
307 00:12:51 Especially my dad'shouse isn't selling
308 00:12:54 and my sister and Ijust had to put him
309 00:12:55 in this assistedliving place,
310 00:12:57 and you would think it was likethe Waldorf. It's so expensive.
311 00:13:00 Is this your one-womanshow right now?
312 00:13:02 Because I ain'tgot a ticket.
313 00:13:06 You know, justeviscerate the piece.
314 00:13:08 I'm giving you an assignment.Right, yeah.
315 00:13:10 Hmm? And, Amy, if you wouldteach this about this.
316 00:13:19 So, does she havea foreign accent
317 00:13:22 or is she justawesome?
318 00:13:25 Don't talk to mefor two weeks.
319 00:13:30 AMY". That's my sister Kim.She's cute, right?
320 00:13:33 Well, back off! She'stotally married as fuck!
321 00:13:38 Our dad's MS hasgotten really bad,
322 00:13:39 so he can't liveby himself anymore.
323 00:13:41 We're cleaning out his house.
324 00:13:44 KIM: There's your box.
325 00:13:45 That stuff's Goodwill,that stuff's eBay,
326 00:13:47 and the stuffup front is trash.
327 00:13:48 AMY: This stuff's eBay?KIM: Yeah.
328 00:13:51 I wanna gothrough this.
329 00:13:53 No, don't gothrough it.
330 00:13:54 That's stuff we canmake money off of.
331 00:13:57 Why are they here?
332 00:13:59 KIM: They're picking me up.
333 00:14:01 Hey, Mother, look,we got a croquet set!
334 00:14:03 Great job, sweetpea!
335 00:14:05 He calls you Mother?That's not creepy.
336 00:14:07 Yeah, it'shis choice.
337 00:14:08 Have him callyou Stepmother.
338 00:14:09 It's more accurate.
339 00:14:11 I've raisedthat child!
340 00:14:12 Mom, I founda glove.
341 00:14:13 Hey, buddy, how you doing? Good.
342 00:14:15 What are youstudying in school?
343 00:14:17 I'm learningaboutspace
344 00:14:19 and all thecelestial objects
345 00:14:21 and how there are
346 00:14:22 planets andsolar systems,
347 00:14:24 and sometimes there couldbe multiple universes
348 00:14:27 but people don't knowhow to describe that yet,
349 00:14:29 but it's a new theory,
350 00:14:30 and I'm so excited to see ifthey figure it out or not.
351 00:14:34 Great.
352 00:14:37 See you around.
353 00:14:39 Okay.
354 00:14:43 Why is he dressedlike Colonel Sanders?
355 00:14:44 He got to dress himselfand that's what he chose.
356 00:14:46 That's what the inside of hisheart looks like. Be nice.
357 00:14:48 Can you just bereal for a second?
358 00:14:50 If you just metthat dude at a CVS,
359 00:14:53 you'd have a realproblem with him.
360 00:14:55 Can you justpretend to like him?
361 00:14:56 I am pretending.
362 00:14:59 Ooh, I likeTom's sweater.
363 00:15:00 He's doing theTo Catch a Predator look.
364 00:15:03 Amy!What?
365 00:15:04 TOM: Amy, what's up?
366 00:15:06 Hey! Looking sharp.
367 00:15:08 Looking sharp, man. Thanks.
368 00:15:10 TOM: Nice to see you.AMY: Nice to see you.
369 00:15:12 I was readingyour article about
370 00:15:13 how to talk your girlfriendinto a three-way.
371 00:15:15 You read that one? Yeah.
372 00:15:16 WOW!
373 00:15:18 Would you do that? No.
374 00:15:19 No.
375 00:15:20 That got offthe table quick.
376 00:15:21 Yeah.
377 00:15:22 Let him dowhat he wants.
378 00:15:23 You guys shouldmake a sex tape.
379 00:15:24 I would.Uh...
380 00:15:26 I did highschool theater.
381 00:15:27 I think I'd be pretty good.(LAUGHING)
382 00:15:30 AMY: This nursing home is nice.KIM: Yeah.
383 00:15:32 It's too nice andit's too expensive
384 00:15:34 and we should'veput him in a shithole.
385 00:15:36 We did. I mean,it's a shithole.
386 00:15:39 It's just the nicest shithole.Yeah.
387 00:15:41 Places where the nurses don'tfuck the patients are expensive.
388 00:15:45 That's whatyou're paying for.
389 00:15:46 It's not the food,sister.
390 00:15:48 Ew!
391 00:15:49 "Condoms ribbedfor his pleasure"?
392 00:15:51 (GASPS)
393 00:15:53 I better hold onto these.
394 00:15:54 Is this coke?
395 00:15:55 No. Dad didn'tlove coke.
396 00:15:57 He was just afull-blown alcoholic.
397 00:15:59 (SNORTING)(GASPS)
398 00:16:01 No. It mustjust be from aHalloween costume. Oh.
399 00:16:06 Whoa, whoa, whoa!
400 00:16:07 KIM: Moving on.AMY: Let's just...
401 00:16:09 Amy, don't touch it.
402 00:16:10 These arehis memories.
403 00:16:11 No, don't do that!Toss it away.
404 00:16:14 What? He needshis wallet.
405 00:16:15 We've got so much stuff to go through.Please stop...
406 00:16:19 Oh! He lovesthat poster.
407 00:16:21 I know.
408 00:16:24 Kimberly! Stop it!Stop it! Girl!
409 00:16:28 Come on!Not cool, girl!
410 00:16:30 That felt good.
411 00:16:33 It's not right.
412 00:16:34 Alaska.
413 00:16:35 No. Don't throwaway his snow globes.
414 00:16:37 These are his memories. He gotone of these everywhere he went.
415 00:16:40 Does he have one for everyone of our teachers?
416 00:16:41 I don't see them.
417 00:16:42 He didn't fuckall our teachers.
418 00:16:43 He fucked allof my teachers.
419 00:16:45 No, he neverfucked Mr. Hecht.
420 00:16:48 I did.
421 00:16:49 I'm just kidding.(LAUGHS)
422 00:16:50 You know,he wouldn't, but...
423 00:16:52 Where's that?
424 00:16:55 Hamburg?
425 00:16:56 Auschwitz.
426 00:16:58 What?
427 00:17:00 I guess they have a gift shop.
428 00:17:02 (GASPS)
429 00:17:04 Oh, man!Look at this.
430 00:17:11 AMY: Mom wasso fuckable then.
431 00:17:13 She hadthe best tits.
432 00:17:16 When she would lay down,they would just stay put.
433 00:17:19 Mine are just like,"See ya!"
434 00:17:20 (CHUCKLES)
435 00:17:21 My titties arelike, "Peace!"
436 00:17:26 KIM: Dad wassuch a dick.
437 00:17:29 (SIGHS)
438 00:17:30 I don't reallysee it that way.
439 00:17:44 Can we mix it upa little bit?
440 00:17:45 Will you talkdirty to me?
441 00:17:47 Come on. Come on!
442 00:17:49 Amy, no. It's notsomething I do well.
443 00:17:51 I'm not reallyverbal, okay?
444 00:17:52 I'm more physicalin how I communicate.
445 00:17:54 You're gonna be great at it.I'm gonna sound stupid.
446 00:17:55 I don't wanna sound stupid.You're not gonna sound stupid.
447 00:17:57 Clear your mind and saywhatever pops in it, okay?
448 00:18:00 Just try it.Say anything.
449 00:18:03 All right.
450 00:18:05 I'm gonna give youmy full pecker. Yeah.
451 00:18:07 Okay.
452 00:18:08 Because ofthe pecs,
453 00:18:10 but "pecker" iskind of like my dick.
454 00:18:12 Yeah, I got it. I understoodwhat you meant by "pecker."
455 00:18:15 (GRUNTING) I'm gonnafill you with protein.
456 00:18:18 I'm gonna give youthe protein you need
457 00:18:20 to survive whenyou're making muscles.
458 00:18:22 I'm gonna put mygreen drink in you.
459 00:18:23 Yeah. Beta-caroteneand vegetable mix.
460 00:18:27 Can it not beabout protein
461 00:18:28 or energyor nutrition?
462 00:18:30 Can you just talkabout sex stuff?
463 00:18:35 All right. Yes. Just sexy stuff.
464 00:18:39 Talk to me.
465 00:18:40 There's nollrl llteamll
466 00:18:43 but there's anIIIII "Win-ll
467 00:18:45 Can't spell "victory"without "T-R-Y."
468 00:18:49 Winning isn't everything.It's the only thing.
469 00:18:52 Okay, these arejust sports phrases.
470 00:18:55 Are these Nike slogans?Please just...
471 00:18:57 You want the "Just do it"?Do you want that one?
472 00:18:59 No! Just have sex with meand say some dirty shit.
473 00:19:04 (SPEAKING IN MANDARIN)
474 00:19:06 What is that?
475 00:19:07 Talking to you dirty in Chinese.That's what I'm doing.
476 00:19:10 What? I've been studyingMandarin in my off time.
477 00:19:12 (SPEAKING IN MANDARIN)
478 00:19:13 "Do you need to goto the bathroom?"
479 00:19:15 Please don't speak Chineseor whatever during sex.
480 00:19:17 Okay, no problem.
481 00:19:18 I'm sorry. I don't meanto be so picky.
482 00:19:21 You look discouragedand you're doing great.
483 00:19:23 I told you I wasn'tgonna be any good at this.
484 00:19:24 Can we trysomething else?
485 00:19:26 Yeah. Talk aboutthe first time you saw me.
486 00:19:32 Okay?
487 00:19:34 That's easy. I rememberit like it was yesterday.
488 00:19:36 Yeah?
489 00:19:38 I was just gettingdone in the gym.
490 00:19:40 You were leaving thatpizza place, remember?
491 00:19:41 Yeah.
492 00:19:42 And you were holding on to that box.(MOANING) Mmm-hmm.
493 00:19:45 And you walked out. Youwere wearing those jeans.
494 00:19:48 Oh, God! They lookedso good from behind.
495 00:19:50 Uh-huh!Oh!
496 00:19:51 From behind...Yeah, yeah.
497 00:19:53 ."Youlooked like a dude. What?
498 00:19:55 Oh!
499 00:19:57 (GRUNTING)
500 00:20:06 Don't move! Don't move at all!Anything!
501 00:20:09 Ah! You're movingyour arm.
502 00:20:14 Fudge rippleice cream!
503 00:20:17 Ah!
504 00:20:20 (GRUNTS)
505 00:20:22 Oh! Yeah!
506 00:20:24 (EXHALES DEEPLY)
507 00:20:29 Oh...
508 00:20:30 That was great.
509 00:20:32 We gotta make that part of our program.For sure.
510 00:20:34 Really onto something.
511 00:20:45 (SIGHS)
512 00:20:47 STEVEN: Amy, don't forgetto hydrate, babe.
513 00:20:52 We went verbal!
514 00:20:54 The boys makethe noise!
515 00:20:58 NOAM: What's up, brother?Yes, I'm loving it.
516 00:20:58 NOAM: What's up, brother?Yes, I'm loving it.
517 00:21:00 Rastaman! Digging it with the rolling bag.Mixed messages.
518 00:21:05 Come back over here.I love you on Glee.
519 00:21:07 How's it going? Amy,what's happening?
520 00:21:09 You got a new sign?
521 00:21:10 Yeah, I'm workinga couple of ideas out.
522 00:21:13 Yeah. I'm going tovisit my dad.
523 00:21:16 Oh. How is he?
524 00:21:18 We put him in an assistedliving facility.
525 00:21:20 I don't know hownice it is, actually.
526 00:21:22 Oh. I know exactlyhow you feel.
527 00:21:24 The car I takea shit in,
528 00:21:26 they towed it.
529 00:21:27 Yeah.
530 00:21:29 Sucks. Sorry, man.All right. I'll see you later.
531 00:21:31 I'll see you later.I'll be here.
532 00:21:33 Hey, I'm diggingthat back camel toe.
533 00:21:36 NORMAN: What aridiculous statement!
534 00:21:37 You're talking about the mosttalented player on all levels.
535 00:21:41 None of these bumsare the equal of Babe Ruth.
536 00:21:44 Norman, Babe Ruth was awful.Stop it!
537 00:21:47 How can younegate facts?
538 00:21:49 Just be nice to him.
539 00:21:50 I am nice to him.He's not nice to me.
540 00:21:52 Babe Ruth was a superhero.He was Superman!
541 00:21:55 Easy to be a Superman whenyou never played against
542 00:21:57 a black guyyour whole life.
543 00:22:00 What does white/blackgot to do with it?
544 00:22:02 Every 12-year-old kid in theDominican Republic right now
545 00:22:04 can probablybeat Babe Ruth.
546 00:22:05 Blah, blah, blah!
547 00:22:07 GORDON: Before 1947,it's one big asterisk. Norman!
548 00:22:10 Can you just keep a lowprofile for two weeks, here?
549 00:22:14 GORDON: Oh, I'm sorry.
550 00:22:15 I don't want to offendany of these people
551 00:22:17 fucking each other with Viagraday and night, God forbid.
552 00:22:19 Can you just benice and make friends?
553 00:22:21 After 7100...
554 00:22:22 After dinner,
555 00:22:23 it turns into Caligulaaround here. Trust me.
556 00:22:26 Please.It's a madhouse.
557 00:22:28 It's like the PlayboyMansion, for Christ's sake.
558 00:22:30 This place?Yes.
559 00:22:33 (SIGHS)
560 00:22:35 You got my Mets stuff?
561 00:22:37 Yeah.
562 00:22:39 Amy.
563 00:22:40 I'll bring it by.
564 00:22:42 Amy. Look at me.
565 00:22:46 Amy?
566 00:22:47 Kim made me throwa lot of it away.
567 00:22:49 Kim made you? Your little sister?Yes.
568 00:22:51 She's mean as a dog.
569 00:22:52 Jesus!
570 00:22:53 I tried. I'm so sorry.
571 00:22:57 What do I care? It's allmemorabilia, anyway.
572 00:22:59 I'm memorabiliaat this point.
573 00:23:01 Don't say that.
574 00:23:18 AMY : Dr. Gunners'?
575 00:23:20 Hi. Hey- Hi.
576 00:23:22 Amy Townsend.
577 00:23:23 Aaron Conners.
578 00:23:24 Great to meet you.Nice to meet you.
579 00:23:26 Thank you so muchfor letting me come in.
580 00:23:27 No worries.
581 00:23:28 Um, so...
582 00:23:30 How doesthis work?
583 00:23:32 Oh, uh, today is reallyjust to go over schedules.
584 00:23:34 Okay.
585 00:23:35 AMY: If that's cool.Yeah, that's great.
586 00:23:38 Uh, I have neverbeen interviewed
587 00:23:40 for a magazine.(KNOCKING)
588 00:23:41 Hey. AARON: Hey, LeBron.
589 00:23:42 Sorry, I don't meanto interrupt.
590 00:23:43 Did I leave mysunglasses here?
591 00:23:45 I don't know.Did you?
592 00:23:47 I was sitting...Oh, here they are.
593 00:23:50 Did you just drive40 minutes back here
594 00:23:52 to look foryour sunglasses?
595 00:23:53 Yeah, of course.You think I'm gonna give
596 00:23:54 Sunglass Hutanother $30 for these?
597 00:23:56 You crazy?
598 00:23:57 Hey, how you doing? Hi.
599 00:23:59 Wait, your watch costsmore than my apartment.
600 00:24:01 Oh, this thing?That was a gift.
601 00:24:03 We watchingDownton Abbey later?
602 00:24:04 Uh, if I get out of here ontime, yeah, we could watch it.
603 00:24:07 If not, let's do it tomorrow.LEBRON: What?
604 00:24:08 I'm watching it tonight,
605 00:24:09 because I'm not gonna go topractice in the morning,
606 00:24:11 and all the guys are talkingabout it and I'm left out.
607 00:24:14 Hey, do whatyou gotta do.
608 00:24:15 Can you validatemy parking, please?
609 00:24:17 I don't validate. Youshould talk to Cheryl.
610 00:24:19 Okay, take care.Nice meeting you.
611 00:24:21 AARON: Bye, LeBron.Thanks, buddy.
612 00:24:22 LEBRON: Cheryl, can youvalidate my parking, please?
613 00:24:26 Tall! Yeah, I know, right?
614 00:24:28 Do you knowwho that was?
615 00:24:31 A basketball player.
616 00:24:32 He's LeBron James. He's kindof "the" basketball player.
617 00:24:35 Oh, yeah. I think I saw oneof his soda commercials.
618 00:24:37 Yeah.
619 00:24:38 Do you follow sports?
620 00:24:40 Oh, my God.
621 00:24:41 Sports? I love them.
622 00:24:44 Who are yourfavorite teams?
623 00:24:46 I like smaller teams.Not the big leagues.
624 00:24:49 I like the LongIsland Mediums.
625 00:24:53 The Acorn Pine Cones.
626 00:24:56 Haven't heard of them. TheFire Island Penguins.
627 00:24:59 I like the CincinnatiThunder-Wizards.
628 00:25:01 You can stop.
629 00:25:02 The Orlando...
630 00:25:05 Blooms.
631 00:25:06 You can stop.You don't follow sports.
632 00:25:09 I'm sorry, I don't.
633 00:25:11 I don't knowanything about sports.
634 00:25:12 You know what? That's okay, though.Don't be embarrassed.
635 00:25:14 I'm sorry. No, don'tbe embarrassed
636 00:25:16 because I actually didn't followsports until I got this job.
637 00:25:18 Really?Yeah.
638 00:25:19 Oh, my God! You have no ideawhat a huge relief that is.
639 00:25:23 I was assigned this.
640 00:25:25 This was noteven my pitch.
641 00:25:27 Right. So you'redoing the article on me?
642 00:25:29 Mmm-hmm.
643 00:25:30 Awesome.
644 00:25:31 I think they're kind of weirdand it's just strange.
645 00:25:34 Grown men wearing jerseys withanother man's name on it.
646 00:25:37 Like, are you in jail?Are you his bitch?
647 00:25:40 Right. Kind oflike that one?
648 00:25:47 That's different,because it's in a frame.
649 00:25:50 I think sports bringspeople together.
650 00:25:52 It kind of formsa community.
651 00:25:53 That's what I'm saying.Right. Yeah. Obviously.
652 00:25:56 I'll tell you another thingthat's great about this job,
653 00:25:58 is that I get towork with athletes,
654 00:25:59 which means that Iwork with a lot of...
655 00:26:02 Black people?...injuries.
656 00:26:03 What did you just say?Did you say "black people"?
657 00:26:06 No.
658 00:26:07 Do you have a problemwith black people?
659 00:26:09 (CHUCKLING) No.I love black people.
660 00:26:11 I prefer black people.
661 00:26:12 Do you haveblack friends?
662 00:26:14 Endless black friends.
663 00:26:16 Can you show me pictures of yourblack friends on your phone?
664 00:26:19 You want to see pictures onmy phone of my black friends?
665 00:26:22 Amy, you gotta havea lot of them.
666 00:26:23 I have so many. I'm deciding whichone, because there's so many.
667 00:26:27 Oh! Here we go. Oh, great.Let's see it.
668 00:26:29 You're gonna be eating your words.Oh, good.
669 00:26:31 You ready?Yeah, I'm ready.
670 00:26:32 Okay, get ready.Black friend.
671 00:26:36 AARON: That is youand a white friend,
672 00:26:38 and that is a blackwaiter pouring your water.
673 00:26:41 Let me find another one.Oh. My phone died.
674 00:26:44 Um, I'm gonna let youget back to doctoring.
675 00:26:47 Oh, thanks.
676 00:26:48 I'll talk to your...Cheryl.
677 00:26:50 Cheryl about when we can meet again.Yeah.
678 00:26:53 Great.
679 00:27:04 DANIEL RADCLIFFE: No,we 're not going into the park.
680 00:27:09 We've been inthe park already.
681 00:27:12 Sorry I'm late.No, it's okay.
682 00:27:14 It's a wonderful filmDaniel Radcliffe is in.
683 00:27:17 What is this movie?
684 00:27:19 Radcliffe isa dog walker,
685 00:27:21 but he's got a chip on hisshoulder, a real edge.
686 00:27:23 Sundance loved it.
687 00:27:24 I need helpwith my dog.
688 00:27:28 I can see that.
689 00:27:30 I would love to be the oneto help you with your dog.
690 00:27:33 What's your technique?
691 00:27:36 I put them ona leash and walk them.
692 00:27:39 You talk a big game.
693 00:27:42 That's because{walk a big dog.
694 00:27:46 MARISA TOMEI:She looks little...
695 00:27:47 Amy.
696 00:27:50 What's up?
697 00:27:51 Is that winein a box?
698 00:27:53 Mmm-hmm.
699 00:27:54 I have red, too.
700 00:27:55 STEVEN: You have red, too?
701 00:27:56 Is this guyever gonna shut up?
702 00:27:58 Please watchthe movie.
703 00:28:01 Stop. That's not right.Don't do this to me.
704 00:28:03 Why is he yelling?
705 00:28:05 Listen, you alwaysdo this to me.
706 00:28:07 You show up to these places,you put me in a situation.
707 00:28:09 I'm a big guy.
708 00:28:10 Everybody wants to fight the big guy.Yeah, you are.
709 00:28:12 Hey, Mark Wahlberg,shut your bitch up.
710 00:28:16 Mark Wahlberg? Me?
711 00:28:18 Who else looks like Mark Wahlberg?Your girl?
712 00:28:20 Mark Wahlberg's, like, 150 pounds.I'm 250, lean.
713 00:28:24 I look like Mark Wahlbergate Mark Wahlberg!
714 00:28:27 Your muscles aren'tthe fucking problem.
715 00:28:29 It's youryapping girlfriend.
716 00:28:31 Just say "Fuck you." Yeah?
717 00:28:33 I will fuck you,all right?
718 00:28:34 I will enter you!
719 00:28:36 You're gonna"enter" me?
720 00:28:38 Did you hearwhat he said?
721 00:28:39 What are you talkingabout right now?
722 00:28:41 (WHISPERING) I'm justtrying to intimidate him.
723 00:28:42 You're talkingabout raping him.
724 00:28:44 You're not about that life, champ.I can see it.
725 00:28:46 Oh, I am about that life!MAN: No, you're not.
726 00:28:48 No, no, no. I will getcrazy up in here.
727 00:28:50 You like movies?We'll make a movie.
728 00:28:52 We'll make MamaSaid Knock You Out
729 00:28:54 starring my fistand your dick hole.
730 00:28:56 MANI Oh, shit!
731 00:28:57 What the fuck iswrong with this dude?
732 00:28:59 He wants you.
733 00:29:00 Babe, your threats, I'm tellingyou, they're super gay.
734 00:29:02 Too sexual?Yeah.
735 00:29:03 This has to be the corniest,muscled white dude
736 00:29:06 I've ever seenin my fucking life.
737 00:29:09 Okay, Koko B. Ware,you know what?
738 00:29:11 You're beingan asshole, all right?
739 00:29:13 You know what I do with assholes?I lick them.
740 00:29:15 What the fuck?
741 00:29:16 He wantsto fuck you.
742 00:29:25 My pooch has beenhurt more than enough.
743 00:29:30 I will make sure no one everhurts your pooch again.
744 00:29:33 TOMEY. I like when you'retaking control of your dogs.
745 00:29:37 RADCLIFFE:I thought you would.
746 00:29:40 I'm back.
747 00:29:44 What did I miss?
748 00:29:46 Amy, what did I miss?
749 00:29:49 They pre-butter it.
750 00:29:51 Who's Brody?
751 00:29:55 What?
752 00:29:56 Who's Oli?Who's Brody?
753 00:29:59 Why do you havemy cell phone?
754 00:30:01 Why are you smiling?
755 00:30:02 I got a littlehigh outside.
756 00:30:04 Like, barelyat all high.
757 00:30:07 Okay, while you wereoutside getting high,
758 00:30:09 I was putting your phoneon silent for the movie,
759 00:30:11 and when I did that,I noticed you have
760 00:30:12 all these guysin your phone.
761 00:30:13 There's Brody. There's a guylisted as "Hot as Balls."
762 00:30:15 Who the fuck is"Hot as Balls"?
763 00:30:17 Stop smiling!I'm not smiling.
764 00:30:19 Those areguys from work.
765 00:30:22 Can we justwatch this movie?
766 00:30:23 You know what?No, I can't.
767 00:30:25 Because as I wasturning off your phone,
768 00:30:26 I got a pictureof somebody's dick.
769 00:30:28 It was mine.
770 00:30:30 Fuck you, Tone-Léc. You want totake it to the parking lot? Fine!
771 00:30:33 You can't find me? I'll bethe closest one on Grindr.
772 00:30:39 That's 93V-
773 00:30:40 Steven, please. I amnot in shape for this.
774 00:30:44 Stop walking like the Hulk.I can see that you're mad.
775 00:30:46 You are being crazy!
776 00:30:47 Am I? Because I think you oweme an explanation for this.
777 00:30:50 Do I have to worryabout you with other guys?
778 00:30:52 I'm so highright now.
779 00:30:53 Can we please talk about this tomorrow?I'm too fucked up.
780 00:30:55 Amy, you're alwaysfucked up.
781 00:30:57 Answer the question. Are youhooking up with other guys?
782 00:31:01 We never said wewere exclusive.
783 00:31:03 Fuck, Amy! "Exclusive"?It's not high school.
784 00:31:06 You know, every single guy Iwork out with, every single guy,
785 00:31:10 says that allyou're gonna do
786 00:31:12 is mess with myemotions and hurt me.
787 00:31:14 You guys talkabout that at the gym?
788 00:31:16 Fuck, Amy! Do I have to worryabout you with other guys?
789 00:31:22 Yes, I hook up with other guys.(GROANS)
790 00:31:24 I don't go tothe movies with them.
791 00:31:29 That's, like,our special thing.
792 00:31:32 This is sofucking stupid.
793 00:31:33 You know whatthe sad part is?
794 00:31:35 I was gonna askyou to marry me.
795 00:31:39 Really?
796 00:31:42 I didn't even thinkyou liked me very much.
797 00:31:44 Why are you making mefeel bad about this?
798 00:31:46 You can sleepwith other girls.
799 00:31:47 It's like everyguy's dream.
800 00:31:50 It's not thisguy's dream.
801 00:31:52 Yeah, this guy'sgot a dream,
802 00:31:54 and it's usmaking it!
803 00:31:58 Getting married,
804 00:31:59 moving out to thecountryside, having a family.
805 00:32:01 Three boys andtwo more boys.
806 00:32:03 Enough for abasketball team.
807 00:32:06 And I'll develop a CrossFitprogram and patent it.
808 00:32:09 And I'll rulethe CrossFit world.
809 00:32:12 With you by my side.
810 00:32:14 You can be myCrossFit Queen.
811 00:32:18 That's my dream.
812 00:32:26 Hey.
813 00:32:29 Hey.
814 00:32:33 Can I leave?
815 00:32:36 Or, like, can you leave?
816 00:32:38 I just, like...I'm very high,
817 00:32:40 and I just kind of needthis interaction to be over.
818 00:32:44 You serious?
819 00:32:45 Fuck you, Amy.You are not nice.
820 00:32:53 I'm totally nice.
821 00:32:58 Maybe you should considerchanging your ways.
822 00:33:03 My "ways"?Mmm-hmm.
823 00:33:05 You would lovehaving a family.
824 00:33:07 You soundlike Steven.
825 00:33:08 I wish I couldbreak up with you.
826 00:33:10 Having a family is fun.
827 00:33:12 That's fun?Yeah.
828 00:33:15 They're havinga boys' lunch.
829 00:33:16 Here?
830 00:33:17 AMY: Hi!Hi, ladies.
831 00:33:19 I really like your hair. Is thatchoice, or you, like, did it?
832 00:33:23 That's just my deal.I'm bald, so...
833 00:33:25 Cool. It's like...You look like Bruce Willis.
834 00:33:27 Like early Willis.Totally.
835 00:33:29 Thanks.
836 00:33:31 You know what?We will have two mimosas.
837 00:33:34 Okay.Mmm-mmm.
838 00:33:35 No, you're right. Hold the orange juice.No orange juice.
839 00:33:37 It's sugar.
840 00:33:39 So, champagne?
841 00:33:41 Ooh! Okay.
842 00:33:43 No, no.No champagne for me.
843 00:33:44 Uh, yeah, we'll havetwo champagnes.
844 00:33:46 Two champagnes.Thanks.
845 00:33:48 Okay. We'llsee you in a bit.
846 00:33:50 Oh, my God. He's dying to fuck me.Mmm-hmm.
847 00:33:53 Wait, why aren'tyou drinking?
848 00:33:54 Have a drink with me.
849 00:33:58 Wait. No!
850 00:34:00 You're pregnant?
851 00:34:01 I'm pregnant.
852 00:34:03 Ugh!
853 00:34:04 God!
854 00:34:06 Tom's the father.
855 00:34:08 (LAUGHS)
856 00:34:12 God. They look likethey're on a speed date.
857 00:34:13 Say "Congratulations."
858 00:34:15 (SCOFFS)
859 00:34:16 We're telling Dad.
860 00:34:17 I'll tell him at thenew nursing home.
861 00:34:20 The one that's cheaper.
862 00:34:22 It's not okay.You're telling him.
863 00:34:25 GORDON: Kim,are you serious?
864 00:34:27 Oh, my God.Congratulations!
865 00:34:29 You're pregnant.(LAUGHS)
866 00:34:31 Oh, my God.Come here, come here.
867 00:34:34 GORDON: Oh!
868 00:34:35 My God! Oh, my God.
869 00:34:39 I'm tingling right now. I feel high.(LAUGHING)
870 00:34:41 GORDON: I feel high!That's incredible.
871 00:34:43 KIM: Thank you.
872 00:34:45 I'm finally gonnabe a grandfather.
873 00:34:48 You're alreadya grandfather.
874 00:34:49 Not yet.
875 00:34:51 You're alreadya grandfather.
876 00:34:52 Allister.What's that?
877 00:34:54 Allister.What about him?
878 00:34:55 That's your grandson.
879 00:34:56 Allister? (LAUGHS)
880 00:35:00 No, I mean, Allister'syour step-child
881 00:35:04 and my step-grandkid,I guess.
882 00:35:05 But I'm talkingabout your kid.
883 00:35:07 Our bloodlines!That's... Yeah.
884 00:35:09 I was the firstperson on my block
885 00:35:11 to own a television set.
886 00:35:12 That's really notrelevant right now, Norman.
887 00:35:14 It's not relevant.
888 00:35:16 Come on, that's morelike Tom's kid.
889 00:35:17 It's Tom's kid,who you help with.
890 00:35:20 Dad, you love Allister.
891 00:35:21 GORDON: I like Allister.
892 00:35:23 I care for him,I fear for him.
893 00:35:25 I know what happens to a kidlike that in the schoolyard.
894 00:35:27 We had a kidlike that. Stewie.
895 00:35:29 We used to beat himmercilessly.
896 00:35:32 Oh!
897 00:35:33 Some of the beatingsI almost feel bad about.
898 00:35:35 That's gonnahappen to this kid.
899 00:35:37 I'm trying to protect him, tryingto teach him how to be a man.
900 00:35:39 I don't know whatyou're talking about.
901 00:35:40 You were theworst father ever.
902 00:35:41 Come on.I wasn't a bad father.
903 00:35:44 Mom did everythingwhen we were growing up.
904 00:35:45 You wouldn't understandbecause you weren't there.
905 00:35:47 So, now your mother's a saint?Of course she's a saint.
906 00:35:49 Of course, because once youdie, everybody's a saint.
907 00:35:52 Dad, just shut up.
908 00:35:53 We were talking aboutthis yesterday, right?
909 00:35:55 About Allister.KIM: Amy?
910 00:35:57 No! He's lying.Amy?
911 00:35:59 Amy, come on, you saidhe's the kind of kid
912 00:36:01 who drops hispants to the floor
913 00:36:03 when he peesin the urinal.
914 00:36:04 AMY: No, you said that!GORDON: That's funny to guys.
915 00:36:06 AMY: I said hepees sitting down.
916 00:36:08 (LAUGHS) That was funny.AMY: It was a joke.
917 00:36:10 I cannot believethat you guys
918 00:36:12 are teaming upagainst me again.
919 00:36:14 Oh! No! I'm on your side!
920 00:36:16 I'm on your team.You're not on my team!
921 00:36:18 Sorry if I'm excited more about mygrandkid than some step-grandkid.
922 00:36:20 They're both yourgrandkid, God damn it!
923 00:36:23 What the...Kimberly, come...
924 00:36:28 Is that your wife?
925 00:36:32 What is this speechyou have to make
926 00:36:34 for DoctorsWith Borders?
927 00:36:36 "Without."Without Borders.
928 00:36:38 It's "DoctorsWithout Borders."
929 00:36:39 on. Right.
930 00:36:40 Yeah, it's DoctorsWithout Borders.
931 00:36:42 It's a reallygood organization.
932 00:36:44 Basically, we go to placeswith the most conflict,
933 00:36:47 places with thebiggest disasters,
934 00:36:49 and we go inand help people.
935 00:36:52 So, you helppeople by choice,
936 00:36:53 and that'swhat you like?
937 00:36:55 Yeah. It's great work. It's veryrewarding, helping these people.
938 00:36:58 WOW!
939 00:37:00 What's your story? Are you aDivision One athlete or something?
940 00:37:02 Me? No, no. I was on theXbox that I was playing,
941 00:37:07 and then I got really highand tripped on my bong.
942 00:37:10 Are you high?
943 00:37:11 Yeah.
944 00:37:12 (GUFFAWS)
945 00:37:14 Wow.
946 00:37:15 So high.
947 00:37:17 I think you got yournew article right here.
948 00:37:19 Here we go.
949 00:37:20 All right.
950 00:37:21 So, this is our Sports Medicineand Performance Center.
951 00:37:24 Wow.
952 00:37:25 This is where mostof our athletes come
953 00:37:27 and do therehabilitation.
954 00:37:28 What does this do?
955 00:37:30 Come on.
956 00:37:32 So the HBM showshow your muscles
957 00:37:35 are workingand moving,
958 00:37:37 so your rehab ismost effective.
959 00:37:39 It could help you withyour gait, your posture.
960 00:37:42 My gait?(MACHINE BEEPS)
961 00:37:43 Mmm-hmm.AMY: Okay.
962 00:37:45 So, just walknormal for a second.
963 00:37:46 AMY: That looks pretty good.Okay, okay.
964 00:37:48 Just walk naturallyfor one second, please.
965 00:37:51 AMY: Like this?
966 00:37:52 I walk like Beyoncé. Peoplealways think I'm her.
967 00:37:55 We share on lnstagram.
968 00:37:57 Is that how you walk down the street?AMY: MMm-hmm.
969 00:38:00 No, this is how I walk.
970 00:38:01 I think the screen's doing differentstuff than what I'm doing.
971 00:38:04 What we can do with this,is we could show
972 00:38:06 how you can, urn, fix yourposture and your gait.
973 00:38:10 I really wouldn'tdo a Hitler march.
974 00:38:13 Just walk the way youwalk down the street.
975 00:38:16 AMY: Like this?
976 00:38:22 AMY: All right.Sorry, I'm listening.
977 00:38:24 Okay. We good? You good?
978 00:38:25 All right. Thank you.
979 00:38:27 Wait, who is this? Watch the screen.Who is this?
980 00:38:34 Who? Kevin Spacey at endof The Usual Suspects.
981 00:38:36 I didn't seethat movie.
982 00:38:37 Oh. He'sKeyser Séze.
983 00:38:39 That's not important.It's not a spoiler. Oh.
984 00:38:41 So why don't you pick upthe speed a little bit?
985 00:38:43 That's good.That's good.
986 00:38:46 Get a nice jog going, there.That's good.
987 00:38:49 You can speed it up a littlebit faster, if you want.
988 00:38:50 (BEEPING)AARON: Ah.
989 00:38:52 There you go. See how that's working out?That's great.
990 00:38:54 See how your legs are lighting up green?That's great.
991 00:38:57 You can goa little faster, actually.
992 00:38:58 Don't lean forward like that when you run.(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
993 00:39:00 You want to leanback a little bit.
994 00:39:01 See how that'slighting up green?
995 00:39:03 There you go.See, that's real nice.
996 00:39:06 See how you'relanding on your heel.
997 00:39:09 You're steppingtoo far back.
998 00:39:10 So you want to land onthe ball of your foot.
999 00:39:13 There you go.See, that's real nice.
1000 00:39:15 (PANTING)
1001 00:39:16 How do you stop? Can youmake sure this thing stops?
1002 00:39:18 (MACHINE POWERS DOWN)Oh.
1003 00:39:20 Whoa, whoa whoa.
1004 00:39:21 Are you all right?You're hyperventilating.
1005 00:39:24 (BREATHING HEAVILY)Can you get this off?
1006 00:39:26 Yeah, here you go.
1007 00:39:27 Look at me.Deep breath in.
1008 00:39:30 Blow it out like you're blowingout a birthday candle.
1009 00:39:31 (EXHALES SLOWLY)
1010 00:39:32 (BREATHING RAPIDLY)
1011 00:39:34 That's good, that's good.Slow it down. Slow it down.
1012 00:39:36 (BOTH EXHALE SLOWLY)
1013 00:39:38 You're justhyperventilating.
1014 00:39:39 You're all right.You're okay.
1015 00:39:41 Just take your time.
1016 00:39:43 (EXHALES DEEPLY)You all right?
1017 00:39:46 I'm hungry.Okay.
1018 00:39:47 I haven't eatenmuch today.
1019 00:39:49 Okay.
1020 00:39:50 I basically had,like, Lay's potato chips.
1021 00:39:55 Stopped at a Starbucks,
1022 00:39:56 had,Hke,onered velvet yogurt.
1023 00:40:00 And two scones. Theywere, like, super small.
1024 00:40:04 And then justsome Chipotle,
1025 00:40:05 but that stuffruns through you.
1026 00:40:08 So you had breakfast,lunch and a snack?
1027 00:40:10 Yeah, that's it.Okay.
1028 00:40:11 Let's go get some food.
1029 00:40:13 Yeah.Yeah'?
1030 00:40:14 Yeah.Let's do that.
1031 00:40:15 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
1032 00:40:16 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
1033 00:40:27 AARON: Um...
1034 00:40:29 My dad, um,is a rheumatologist
1035 00:40:33 and my mom isa college professor.
1036 00:40:35 They're great. They put alot of pressure on me.
1037 00:40:37 I was theironly child, so...
1038 00:40:39 Or maybe they didn'tput a lot of pressure on me.
1039 00:40:41 I just put thepressure on myself
1040 00:40:42 because they did somuch great stuff, but...
1041 00:40:44 No, they putpressure on me.
1042 00:40:46 You know what? Can we notput this in the article?
1043 00:40:47 Is that all right? This doesn'tneed to be in the article.
1044 00:40:50 I don't know why I'm saying any of it.They're great.
1045 00:40:52 They're great.They're great.
1046 00:40:54 Aaron's parents are great.Aaron's parents are great.
1047 00:40:57 I won't put any of that in thearticle, if you don't want.
1048 00:40:59 Is that all right?Yeah.
1049 00:41:01 Just off the record.
1050 00:41:02 Okay. Um...
1051 00:41:03 Just so you know,if you want me
1052 00:41:05 to keep somethingout of the article,
1053 00:41:06 if you want it tobe off the record,
1054 00:41:08 you have totell me before.
1055 00:41:10 Oh, really?
1056 00:41:11 Yeah. This canbe retroactive.
1057 00:41:12 I won't put your parentsin the article. Okay.
1058 00:41:17 This article isgonna be killer.
1059 00:41:19 Yeah, it's gonnabe a bummer.
1060 00:41:21 (LAUGHING)
1061 00:41:24 I read someof your stuff.
1062 00:41:25 Oh, my God.
1063 00:41:27 No, they were really good. No.
1064 00:41:28 AARON: When Istarted reading...
1065 00:41:29 There was one thing, and Iwas, like, "I don't know."
1066 00:41:32 And then I started reading itand I thought it was...
1067 00:41:33 I was, like, "This is actuallyreally funny and smart."
1068 00:41:35 It's satirical.
1069 00:41:37 Thank you.
1070 00:41:39 It was good.
1071 00:41:40 I have other stuff that I'vewritten for other places.
1072 00:41:43 That's just the kind of stuffthey want at this magazine.
1073 00:41:45 Can I read some of it?
1074 00:41:48 Yeah, you can read... Youcan read some of my stuff.
1075 00:41:52 Do you want togo get a drink?
1076 00:41:54 Yeah.Yeah'? Okay.
1077 00:42:00 Can I get the check, please?He understood.
1078 00:42:02 Don't do...
1079 00:42:03 Don't do thesymbol and yell.
1080 00:42:04 Just do oneor the other.
1081 00:42:06 What do you mean?
1082 00:42:08 You can mouth the word"check" really loud
1083 00:42:09 and not make noise.
1084 00:42:10 And that'skind of the best.
1085 00:42:12 What do I do?Watch.
1086 00:42:15 Check.
1087 00:42:17 Okay, let me try.Okay.
1088 00:42:19 (YELLS) Check?(LAUGHS) No!
1089 00:42:21 No.
1090 00:42:23 Am I not doing that right? No!
1091 00:42:25 (YELLS) Check!Oh, my God!
1092 00:42:26 Could we getthe bill, please?
1093 00:42:27 We'd like to payfor the food.
1094 00:42:36 (BOTH LAUGHING)
1095 00:42:38 Okay, first kiss. This girlnamed Jennifer Jennifer.
1096 00:42:41 Her name wasJennifer Jennifer?
1097 00:42:42 Her name wasJennifer Jennifer.
1098 00:42:43 And she wasvery cute.
1099 00:42:45 It was a Halloween party,seventh grade.
1100 00:42:47 She was shorter than me, she hadto stand up on a stone to kiss me.
1101 00:42:50 It was like a NormanRockwell painting.
1102 00:42:52 It was very cute.
1103 00:42:53 Oh! And you see these teeth?Yeah.
1104 00:42:55 Look at these teeth.
1105 00:42:57 They're fake,they're porcelain.
1106 00:42:59 Ron Gardner,seventh grade.
1107 00:43:02 I got brand new Air Jordans.He wanted them.
1108 00:43:05 Yeah?
1109 00:43:06 He punched me in theface and knocked out
1110 00:43:08 my teeth andstole my shoes.
1111 00:43:10 No! You're getting alot of info from me.
1112 00:43:12 This is all off therecord, by the way.
1113 00:43:13 All off the record. AMY: Yeah,off the record. Totally.
1114 00:43:15 Hey, todaywas really fun.
1115 00:43:17 Yeah, it was great. I was alittle nervous about it.
1116 00:43:19 Yeah. But no, thiswas a lot of fun.
1117 00:43:21 No, this was great.
1118 00:43:22 Um... If you want to maybecome by tomorrow...
1119 00:43:25 Are you coming?
1120 00:43:26 Oh!You going downtown?
1121 00:43:27 Sweet. Uh...
1122 00:43:30 AARON: Hi. Sorry.
1123 00:43:33 Uh, two stops.
1124 00:43:35 Just one stop.
1125 00:43:37 You want to givehim your address?
1126 00:43:40 (STUTTERS)Spring and Washington.
1127 00:43:55 AARON: So, thisis where I live.
1128 00:43:57 Uh...
1129 00:43:59 It's pretty sweet. Do youwant a drink or anything?
1130 00:44:02 AMY: No, thanks.AARON: No? All right.
1131 00:44:04 Uh...
1132 00:44:06 This is the kitchen.
1133 00:44:07 Umm...
1134 00:44:09 It's a prettysweet place.
1135 00:44:10 I've been herefor about a year.
1136 00:44:12 You know what? Let's getsome tunes on in this place.
1137 00:44:16 Holy shit.(REMOTE CLATTERS)
1138 00:44:19 Hi.Hi.
1139 00:44:23 (mssnue)
1140 00:44:28 So we're gonnado this now?
1141 00:44:30 We are gonnado this now.
1142 00:44:32 Okay, that's...
1143 00:44:33 Is that okay?
1144 00:44:34 That's cool, yeah.
1145 00:44:36 Whoa!
1146 00:44:41 Do you own this place?Are you renting it?
1147 00:44:43 I own it.
1148 00:44:44 Cool, that'sreally nice.
1149 00:44:52 Oh, shit.Yeah.
1150 00:44:54 We're doing thisright now?
1151 00:44:55 We are doingthis right now.
1152 00:44:56 We are offto the races.
1153 00:44:58 Yeah, it's happening. Okay.
1154 00:45:00 All right.That's nice.
1155 00:45:04 Oh, man.Oh, God!
1156 00:45:07 Oh, my God!
1157 00:45:09 Good for you.
1158 00:45:10 Yeah, thank you.
1159 00:45:12 I didn't seethis for you.
1160 00:45:13 Oh, yeah?Mmm-hmm.
1161 00:45:16 (BOTH SIGH)
1162 00:45:24 Okay.
1163 00:45:26 I'm gonna head out.
1164 00:45:27 Oh, no.
1165 00:45:28 Thank you.
1166 00:45:30 Why don't youstay over?
1167 00:45:32 Yes. No, I'm not gonnastay here. I just...
1168 00:45:35 You have anearly day, I bet.
1169 00:45:37 No, it's fine.
1170 00:45:47 (EXHALES DEEPLY)
1171 00:45:52 Are you comfortable?No. No, I'm not.
1172 00:45:55 I don't reallylike to spoon.
1173 00:45:57 Oh.
1174 00:45:59 Okay. Yeah, sorry. Can we...
1175 00:46:02 If I stay here,can we just sleep
1176 00:46:03 in a realistic position?
1177 00:46:05 Sure, yeah.
1178 00:46:07 Because I'ma light sleeper,
1179 00:46:08 and if I feel youmove or sweat or breathe,
1180 00:46:12 I'll wake upand just lay here
1181 00:46:14 resenting youall night.
1182 00:46:16 So, yeah, can we...
1183 00:46:17 Actually, could we putthis pillow in between us?
1184 00:46:19 That'll be good. Putthe pillow between us?
1185 00:46:22 Yeah, that's notyour main pillow
1186 00:46:23 that you use, is it?
1187 00:46:24 No.Okay, cool.
1188 00:46:26 Let's kind ofget that in there.
1189 00:46:28 Thank you.Okay.
1190 00:46:30 Yeah.
1191 00:46:35 I'm sorryI'm nit-picking,
1192 00:46:36 but you're breathing on mepretty hard right now.
1193 00:46:39 Yeah, it's likea strong wind.
1194 00:46:40 What do youneed me to do?
1195 00:46:41 Breathe up towards the skyand not at me. (SIGHS)
1196 00:46:45 Yeah, you got it.
1197 00:46:46 Sorry, it'sjust a lot.
1198 00:46:49 Like this? Are youfeeling better?
1199 00:46:51 Let me see. Do it and I'lltell you if I can feel it.
1200 00:46:56 I'm still gettinga little bit of a wind.
1201 00:46:58 Oh... Jesus.
1202 00:47:00 Do you want meto go home?
1203 00:47:01 I can sleep at home.
1204 00:47:02 No, this isso worth it.
1205 00:47:04 (SIGHS)
1206 00:47:08 Nikki, just hurry upand get here.
1207 00:47:12 When you'rewriting an article,
1208 00:47:13 do you always usea tape recorder?
1209 00:47:14 No.
1210 00:47:16 Um, when you'rewriting an article,
1211 00:47:18 what are the 10 biggestmistakes you could make?
1212 00:47:21 Plagiarizing, gettingdrunk, fucking someone.
1213 00:47:25 Have you ever seen any kindof article about a fetish
1214 00:47:27 where guys like tomasturbate to hockey fights?
1215 00:47:31 That's not a thing.Not a thing.
1216 00:47:32 Then why'd itwork for me?
1217 00:47:34 We're in the middleof something, so...
1218 00:47:36 Yeah. Seriously, right?
1219 00:47:38 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
1220 00:47:41 Okay, so, thatactually brings me
1221 00:47:42 to an interestingline of questioning.
1222 00:47:44 You know what? Uh, they'regonna want you to just do
1223 00:47:46 a bunch of web stuffbecause you're younger.
1224 00:47:48 Everyone has a boner for youngpeople on the Internet, okay?
1225 00:47:51 They think you have the key to it.DIANNA: Amy!
1226 00:47:52 That's why we'll do anythingwe can to help you here.
1227 00:47:55 Right, but when you'rewriting an article...
1228 00:47:56 Sorry, talk to meabout it later.
1229 00:47:57 Just writethem all down.
1230 00:47:58 I'll behelpful later.
1231 00:48:01 Okay.
1232 00:48:03 I like you, Amy. I do, you know?
1233 00:48:05 You're clever, butyou're not too brainy.
1234 00:48:07 You're pretty-ish and you're not gorgeous.You're approachable.
1235 00:48:11 Thank you.Yeah.
1236 00:48:12 I want this promotionfor you, Amy, you know?
1237 00:48:14 I want you tohelp me to help you.
1238 00:48:16 I need to go up there,to the men upstairs.
1239 00:48:18 I need you to provideme with the ammo
1240 00:48:20 to get them to know that youcan handle their workload.
1241 00:48:23 Can you handletheir load, Amy?
1242 00:48:25 I can handle all their loads.That's it.
1243 00:48:30 Nikki.
1244 00:48:32 Hey. Where have you been?
1245 00:48:33 Sorry, I wasgetting a smoothie.
1246 00:48:35 Can you sit, please?
1247 00:48:37 I slept at the doctor'splace last night.
1248 00:48:39 Oh, my God, because youwere blackout drunk?
1249 00:48:42 No, that's the thing. I was dead sober.I had like two drinks.
1250 00:48:45 Three, max.
1251 00:48:47 Four, now that I'm tallying.But I was sober.
1252 00:48:50 So you barely drank?Barely.
1253 00:48:52 Because you're onantibiotics or something?
1254 00:48:53 No, I spent thenight on purpose.
1255 00:48:55 I don't understand.I don't understand.
1256 00:48:57 When you thinkabout the sex,
1257 00:48:58 are you justkind of like...
1258 00:49:01 No. I'm like...
1259 00:49:06 So, you're like...
1260 00:49:09 No, that's not what I'm doing.(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1261 00:49:13 Oh, my God!He's calling.
1262 00:49:15 Why would he call?You guys just had sex.
1263 00:49:17 It's probably a mistake.
1264 00:49:18 It's a mistake.He's butt-dialing you.
1265 00:49:20 Hello.
1266 00:49:21 AARON: Oh.Hey, there. It's Aaron.
1267 00:49:23 Oh. This is Amy.
1268 00:49:24 I think youbutt-dialed me.
1269 00:49:26 No, I dialed youwith my fingers.
1270 00:49:28 What's she saying? What did she say?(SHUSHING)
1271 00:49:30 He called meon purpose.
1272 00:49:31 Hang up. He's obviouslysick or something.
1273 00:49:34 Yeah, what's up?
1274 00:49:35 I was calling to say I had areally good time last night.
1275 00:49:37 I was wondering if you wantedto, um, hang out again.
1276 00:49:40 Will you saythat again, please?
1277 00:49:43 I was wonderingif I could see you again.
1278 00:49:47 You know what? I'mgonna call the police.
1279 00:49:48 Hold on, hold on.
1280 00:49:50 I'll just talkto you about it
1281 00:49:51 tomorrow atthe interview.
1282 00:49:53 Okay? Oh, yes! She said yes!
1283 00:49:55 Okay, bye-
1284 00:49:56 All right, I'lltalk to you then.
1285 00:49:59 Oh! Man!
1286 00:50:00 That's prettycool, man.
1287 00:50:02 I didn't get to hear thewhole conversation, though.
1288 00:50:04 We're gonnatalk about it
1289 00:50:05 when we see eachother tomorrow.
1290 00:50:07 That's great, man.
1291 00:50:08 Yeah, she's gota sexy voice.
1292 00:50:10 Did you guysmake love?
1293 00:50:13 Yeah.Oh!
1294 00:50:15 Whoo!
1295 00:50:16 My boy got intimate. Yeah.
1296 00:50:17 Sexual intercourse!Whoo!
1297 00:50:19 Do you want to justannounce it to everybody?
1298 00:50:21 My boy got a girlfriend.Man, it's been forever!
1299 00:50:25 Yeah. I'm not gonna lie.It's been a while.
1300 00:50:27 Yeah, it's beensix years since Sheila.
1301 00:50:29 And that only lasted five weeks.Yep.
1302 00:50:31 There was Debbie.
1303 00:50:32 Debbie didn't eventell you where she lived.
1304 00:50:34 Yeah, she thoughtI was a psycho.
1305 00:50:36 She kept callingme "Dexter."
1306 00:50:37 What I'm saying is,you got to go for it.
1307 00:50:39 You need to focus if you wantto take it to the next level.
1308 00:50:40 Right.
1309 00:50:41 You have to. You gotto give it everything
1310 00:50:43 if you wantthis one, man.
1311 00:50:44 It like, when I lost theChampionship in 2011,
1312 00:50:47 I worked on mygame twice as hard,
1313 00:50:49 worked on mypost-up game,
1314 00:50:51 and we wound up winningthe Championship, twice.
1315 00:50:53 Yeah. Yeah.
1316 00:50:54 I don't feel likethat applies to me.
1317 00:50:56 But I appreciatethe thought.
1318 00:50:58 Aaron, you have to take a risk.You have to. Yeah, you're right.
1319 00:51:01 It's like, when I decidedto go back to Cleveland,
1320 00:51:03 I wasn't totally sure they wasgonna welcome me back, man.
1321 00:51:05 But they did.They welcomed me back
1322 00:51:07 with open armsand an open heart.
1323 00:51:09 Yeah, they did. Again, I feelthat applies more to you.
1324 00:51:14 I don't evenlive in Cleveland.
1325 00:51:16 But, again, Iappreciate the thought.
1326 00:51:17 Cleveland, Ohio?
1327 00:51:19 You're talking about the home ofThe Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
1328 00:51:21 Or maybe we go down to Canton tothe Pro Football Hall of Fame.
1329 00:51:23 Did you know Supermanwas created in Cleveland?
1330 00:51:24 Yeah, I know Supermanwas created in Cleveland.
1331 00:51:26 You've told me thata number of times.
1332 00:51:28 You ever seen a Cuyahoga sunset?No.
1333 00:51:30 Do you know Cleveland'sgreat for the whole family?
1334 00:51:31 Yes. Yes, I do. You tellme that all the time.
1335 00:51:34 You randomly just text me that.And what's wrong with that?
1336 00:51:36 Which is weird. It's weird.I got free texting.
1337 00:51:39 Why are you trying to alwayssell me on Cleveland?
1338 00:51:41 When are you gonnacome to Cleveland?
1339 00:51:43 (STAMMERING) I'll comewhen I have the time.
1340 00:51:46 I just don't havethe time right now.
1341 00:51:47 I'll come when I have the time.I've just been really busy.
1342 00:51:49 You visit me inMiami all the time.
1343 00:51:51 Yeah, but that'sMiami. I mean...
1344 00:51:53 What's the difference betweenMiami and Cleveland?
1345 00:51:55 It's the same.
1346 00:51:58 You're right,it's the same.
1347 00:52:00 Exactly.
1348 00:52:03 Okay, so you had the salmon.That's about 14 dollars.
1349 00:52:06 What are you doing, man?You had two Cokes.
1350 00:52:08 Dude, are you tryingto split the bill?
1351 00:52:10 Look, I told you thoserefills weren't free.
1352 00:52:12 No, no, no, we'renot splitting the bill.
1353 00:52:13 Pick up the check.
1354 00:52:15 Why do I have topick up the check?
1355 00:52:16 Because you'reLeBron James.
1356 00:52:18 Listen, don't look atme no differently now
1357 00:52:19 just becauseI got a little money.
1358 00:52:22 Look, I don't know howlong this could last.
1359 00:52:24 Anything can happen.Right.
1360 00:52:25 I'm not about toend up like MC Hammer.
1361 00:52:27 Listen, youowe $32.43.
1362 00:52:29 You know what?
1363 00:52:31 I'll pay it, but you got to pickup a check every once in a while.
1364 00:52:33 No, don't paythe whole thing.
1365 00:52:35 Just pay your part.
1366 00:52:36 It's better for our friendship.Equals forever.
1367 00:52:39 All right, fine.All right.
1368 00:52:41 I'll put mycredit card in.
1369 00:52:42 Put a credit card in,we'll split it.
1370 00:52:44 That's what I'm talking about.(SIGHS)
1371 00:52:47 Fuck you.Fuck you.
1372 00:52:49 I think I left my wallet.Fuck you.
1373 00:52:50 It's rightin the car.
1374 00:52:52 (UPTOWN GIRL PLAYING)
1375 00:52:56 (AARON HUMMING)
1376 00:53:13 No, no, no...
1377 00:53:22 AMY: So that was disgusting.Yeah.
1378 00:53:26 Why Billy Joel?Why Uptown Girl?
1379 00:53:29 I love that song.
1380 00:53:31 That's probably the worstBilly Joel song.
1381 00:53:33 I'm pretty sureBilly Joel hates that song.
1382 00:53:35 Oh, he shouldn't.It's great.
1383 00:53:38 Okay.
1384 00:53:39 So, uh,off the record,
1385 00:53:44 do you wanna maybego grab some dinner?
1386 00:53:46 Urn...
1387 00:53:48 Actually, Aaron,I think you're so great,
1388 00:53:51 but I'm a writer.
1389 00:53:53 I'm your writer,you're my subject,
1390 00:53:56 and from now on, we need tojust keep it professional.
1391 00:53:59 Okay.You know?
1392 00:54:01 Yeah.Okay.
1393 00:54:02 I think we reallylike each other
1394 00:54:03 and we shouldstart dating.
1395 00:54:07 No, I'm saying...
1396 00:54:09 I'm confused.
1397 00:54:10 Am I not communicatingthis right?
1398 00:54:12 No, I hear you. I'mjust saying I disagree.
1399 00:54:14 Do you like me?Yeah.
1400 00:54:16 Yeah, see,I really like you.
1401 00:54:18 So we shouldbe a couple.
1402 00:54:20 (STAMMERING)No! I have plans.
1403 00:54:24 What are your plans?Dentist.
1404 00:54:26 Is that true'?No.
1405 00:54:28 Then let's go out.
1406 00:54:29 (CELL PHONE RINGING)
1407 00:54:31 I'm sorry. My dad'splace is calling.
1408 00:54:34 Hello?
1409 00:54:37 Well, why didn'tsomeone help him?
1410 00:54:39 What is it?
1411 00:54:41 My dad fell. He lives in assisted living.I need to change.
1412 00:54:43 Okay, I'm on my way.
1413 00:54:44 What hospitalis he at?
1414 00:54:52 TEMEMBE: Oh! Sit still, Gordon.Dad!
1415 00:54:54 GORDON: Hey, baby.
1416 00:54:55 AMY: What happened?Nothing.
1417 00:54:57 He's supposed toring his call button
1418 00:54:58 if he wants to getout of his chair.
1419 00:55:00 He has fallen.
1420 00:55:01 Where's the doctor?
1421 00:55:02 They are ignoringmy pages.
1422 00:55:04 If I wanted,I could treat him.
1423 00:55:06 I was a doctorin my country.
1424 00:55:08 Yeah, I'll let youknow if the wound
1425 00:55:09 gets invadedby evil spirits.
1426 00:55:11 Are you in pain, Dad? No.
1427 00:55:12 AARON: Can I takea look at it, please?
1428 00:55:15 Oh, God, Dad!
1429 00:55:17 It looks a lot worsethan it actually is.
1430 00:55:19 Who's this Moondoggie?
1431 00:55:21 Hi, I'm Dr. Conners.
1432 00:55:22 Your daughter and I justofficially started dating.
1433 00:55:24 No. Not officially.Not at all.
1434 00:55:26 Welcome to avery large club.
1435 00:55:28 You are gonna begetting stitches today.
1436 00:55:30 Not a chance, Buster!
1437 00:55:32 Dad, let him do it.
1438 00:55:33 What's the point?Just leave it.
1439 00:55:35 What do I have to looklike Kate Middleton for?
1440 00:55:37 I don't give consent.Here we go.
1441 00:55:38 No consent!AMY: Shut up, Dad.
1442 00:55:40 AARON: I need youto stop moving.
1443 00:55:41 GORDON: Ah! I feellike a pincushion.
1444 00:55:43 (AARON HUMMING UPTOWN GIRL)
1445 00:55:46 What is he humming?
1446 00:55:48 Billy Joel.Uptown Girl.
1447 00:55:50 That's the only thing that saves you.I like Billy Joel.
1448 00:55:52 I saw him in Nassau Coliseum,Nylon Curtain Tour.
1449 00:55:55 Oh, Nylon Curtain Tour?That's awesome.
1450 00:55:57 I saw him with Elton John in Shea Stadium.It was great.
1451 00:55:59 Of course you did.
1452 00:56:01 Nothing better than down-to-earth,blue collar Billy Joel
1453 00:56:04 with Elton John,the Queen of England.
1454 00:56:06 Hey, Amy tells me that you're a Mets fan.Is that right?
1455 00:56:09 I'm a supporter of theNew York Metropolitans.
1456 00:56:12 That is correct.What about it?
1457 00:56:13 Would you like tohear some trivia?
1458 00:56:15 GORDON: Distracting melike I'm a young girl
1459 00:56:17 getting her earspierced? Go ahead.
1460 00:56:18 Can you name ninemajor league teams
1461 00:56:20 that don't endwith the letter "S"?
1462 00:56:22 Child's play.The Jazz. Utah Jazz.
1463 00:56:26 You got the Miami Heat.You got the White Sox.
1464 00:56:28 What's up?
1465 00:56:29 I shouldn't betelling you this,
1466 00:56:31 but I think he's hoardinghis pain medication.
1467 00:56:34 No, I got it.Ease up, Martha Stewart.
1468 00:56:36 Hey! Water aerobics.You coming?
1469 00:56:39 Yeah, I'll be right there.I'll be right there.
1470 00:56:42 Meryl is wearinga two-piece.
1471 00:56:45 (SMACKS LIPS)
1472 00:56:47 The guy died three years agoand nobody alerted him.
1473 00:56:53 Thank you so much.
1474 00:56:54 Hey, no problem.
1475 00:56:55 My dad's reallynot a bad guy,
1476 00:56:57 but you caughthim on an off day.
1477 00:56:59 No, no, no.He was fine.
1478 00:57:02 You know what? What I'll do is,I'll check up on him next week.
1479 00:57:05 And I told him aboutthis immune suppressant...
1480 00:57:06 Will you pleasecome home with me?
1481 00:57:10 Uh...
1482 00:57:12 Forget it.
1483 00:57:13 No, no, no. No!You know what?
1484 00:57:15 Hey, you know what?Let's, um...
1485 00:57:17 Let's get food. Do youwanna get some food?
1486 00:57:19 Do you wannaget some raviolis?
1487 00:57:22 Raviolis?I'm serious.
1488 00:57:23 Yeah. Do you wannaget some raviolis?
1489 00:57:24 I know a placethat's around here.
1490 00:57:26 They havegreat raviolis.
1491 00:57:28 I'd love toget raviolis.
1492 00:57:31 Just go to the ravioli place.Just get them.
1493 00:57:33 Yeah.Yeah.
1494 00:57:50 Yeah?Yeah.
1495 00:57:53 (BREATHING SHARPLY)
1496 00:57:54 Stop doing that.
1497 00:57:55 Why are youbreathing weird?
1498 00:57:56 I'm notbreathing weird.
1499 00:57:58 (BREATHING SHARPLY)
1500 00:58:00 What's going on?
1501 00:58:02 I like him so much.
1502 00:58:05 Yeah?
1503 00:58:06 (STAMMERING)Why do I feel so scared?
1504 00:58:10 Because you'vealways dated dummies
1505 00:58:11 you weren't at riskof actually liking.
1506 00:58:15 Can we get a drink? No!
1507 00:58:16 No, we can get one drink.Stop it!
1508 00:58:18 No, I...What?
1509 00:58:19 I've been datingfor fucking 90 years.
1510 00:58:21 Somethingalways happens.
1511 00:58:22 Why not this timethat I really care?
1512 00:58:24 What do you thinkis gonna happen?
1513 00:58:26 What if I forgetto flush the toilet,
1514 00:58:28 and there's atampon in there?
1515 00:58:30 Okay.
1516 00:58:31 And not like a cute,"Oh! It's the last day."
1517 00:58:34 Like, a real tampon.
1518 00:58:36 I'm talking, like,a crime scene tampon.
1519 00:58:39 Like the Red Wedding,Game of Thrones.
1520 00:58:42 Oh, my God!
1521 00:58:43 It's like a QuentinTarantino, Django.
1522 00:58:46 Like a realmotherfucker of a tampon.
1523 00:58:49 There's, like,an ear on it.
1524 00:58:50 (LAUGHING)
1525 00:58:52 You know whatI mean, though.
1526 00:58:53 There's deal-breakers,you know?
1527 00:58:55 I know.Why?
1528 00:58:57 Hey, look who's here!
1529 00:58:58 This does notseem safe.
1530 00:59:00 Hi! Whoo!
1531 00:59:01 Oh, my God.Always here.
1532 00:59:04 Is Amy crying?
1533 00:59:05 Yeah, she's in love.
1534 00:59:07 Oh, with Steven?
1535 00:59:08 No! No!
1536 00:59:10 I love Steven.
1537 00:59:11 He taught me this workoutto get me a beach bod.
1538 00:59:14 You look amazing. TOM:Thank you so much.
1539 00:59:15 You'll be reallyripping it up.
1540 00:59:21 (ALL CHEERING)
1541 00:59:24 That was cool.
1542 00:59:28 And there he is!
1543 00:59:30 It's LeBron.LeBron!
1544 00:59:31 I'm LeBron James, and welcometo the Big Apple Jam Fest.
1545 00:59:34 (AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1546 00:59:36 So, are you guysready to have some fun?
1547 00:59:39 ALL: Yeah!
1548 00:59:43 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
1549 00:59:45 The KnicksCity Dancers!
1550 00:59:51 Whoo!
1551 00:59:58 They're just gyrating.
1552 01:00:00 They're not.
1553 01:00:01 No,no,no. These girls work really hard.I treat them.
1554 01:00:03 You treat them?
1555 01:00:05 Yes, I do.I work with them.
1556 01:00:06 They get bad injuries. I bet.
1557 01:00:08 The pole isn'talways greased right.
1558 01:00:14 You're gonna loseus the right to vote!
1559 01:00:19 How long is this?
1560 01:00:21 I don't know.
1561 01:00:23 I'm just asking.Another hour, maybe.
1562 01:00:25 Okay.
1563 01:00:30 Whoo!
1564 01:00:33 Dr. Gunners.
1565 01:00:34 Do you mind taking alook at my ankle?
1566 01:00:35 I think I rolled it.
1567 01:00:36 Oh. Yeah. Yeah, sure.
1568 01:00:38 I'll see you in a sec.
1569 01:00:49 Hey!Hey.
1570 01:00:50 You were so great.
1571 01:00:51 Everybody flipped outwhen you came out here.
1572 01:00:53 It was really cool to see.Thank you.
1573 01:00:57 Seriously,what's the deal?
1574 01:01:00 What's yourintentions?
1575 01:01:03 My intentions?
1576 01:01:04 Yeah, with my boy.Like, what's your plan?
1577 01:01:07 Oh, I don't havea plan with Aaron.
1578 01:01:09 No, we've just been dating for six weeks.We're just hanging out.
1579 01:01:13 Okay.Keeping it cazh.
1580 01:01:15 So, you get butterflieswhen you hear his name?
1581 01:01:19 Excuse me?
1582 01:01:21 When you'relooking at clouds,
1583 01:01:22 do you see his face?
1584 01:01:26 Do you hearhis name
1585 01:01:27 when you listento the wind?
1586 01:01:30 Urn...
1587 01:01:32 Yes.
1588 01:01:35 I really have toask you a question.
1589 01:01:38 Don't hurt him.
1590 01:01:47 AMY". So we did it. Okay?
1591 01:01:47 AMY". So we did it. Okay?
1592 01:01:50 We fell hard for each other.
1593 01:01:53 Welcome to the whitestcouple in America.
1594 01:01:56 (SIGHS)
1595 01:01:57 How did no one mug us that day?Look at his hat.
1596 01:02:02 Now we're kissing on a rock.
1597 01:02:03 Do you know howmany homeless people
1598 01:02:05 have taken a dumpon that rock?
1599 01:02:09 Subway kissing? Ew!
1600 01:02:11 I love how tall he is.
1601 01:02:13 Whoa! Easy, dude.I'm a working man, too.
1602 01:02:16 All right,I get it.
1603 01:02:17 Hey, Noam.
1604 01:02:18 Hey, guys!
1605 01:02:19 Whoa! Inside sex!I'm digging that.
1606 01:02:22 AMY". Even my dad likes him.My dad doesn't like anyone.
1607 01:02:25 He thought Mother Teresawas full of shit.
1608 01:02:29 That's my "Aaron's apartment" toothbrush.I have two toothbrushes.
1609 01:02:34 I hope this love montageends like Jonestown.
1610 01:02:39 Ooh! I think this is whereWoody Allen met Soon Yi.
1611 01:02:43 Okay, easy-
1612 01:02:45 That was a dare, okay?
1613 01:02:47 I was dared to do that.
1614 01:02:57 So what's up with you and Amy?How's that going?
1615 01:02:59 Amy? Things aregoing awesome, man.
1616 01:03:01 Yeah?Yeah.
1617 01:03:04 Yeah. It's goingreal good.
1618 01:03:06 I mean, I really,really like her,
1619 01:03:08 but she's gotsome issues, you know?
1620 01:03:11 I mean, that's gonna happen.
1621 01:03:13 AARON: Yeah.
1622 01:03:14 Like, last night wewent out drinking.
1623 01:03:16 You? Yeah, I went out drinking.
1624 01:03:18 And she...
1625 01:03:24 I don't drink.I got hammered.
1626 01:03:25 And then she drank a lot,but she barely got...
1627 01:03:28 (SNEAKERS SQUEAKING)
1628 01:03:29 But she didn'tget drunk at all.
1629 01:03:40 So how's the sex?The sex?
1630 01:03:42 Why do you alwayswanna know this stuff, man?
1631 01:03:44 Listen, I'm a married man. I needto live vicariously through you.
1632 01:03:47 Just give me a couple details.No.
1633 01:03:49 Just like 11.Eleven details?
1634 01:03:52 When you're married as longas me, you'll understand.
1635 01:03:56 She knows what she wants. It's great. Thesex is great. It's rough. It's wild.
1636 01:03:59 I mean, if it's not wild,it's not right.
1637 01:04:01 Right. No, it's crazy. Likepulling my hair and stuff.
1638 01:04:05 We've never...We haven't even laid down yet.
1639 01:04:08 It's always either, like, sitting up,or against a wall, or something.
1640 01:04:12 I've never been on top once.
1641 01:04:14 We have a safe word.Already?
1642 01:04:16 Yeah, it's "calypso." Man, that'spretty early for a safe word.
1643 01:04:19 It is. Second date, wehad a safe word. Wow.
1644 01:04:22 It's insane, man.
1645 01:04:24 Ready for this? Come on, man.I've been practicing.
1646 01:04:27 Man, knock it off. Ready for this?Ready for this?
1647 01:04:34 Yeah!
1648 01:04:35 Foul!
1649 01:04:36 Foul?Yeah, man, you hit me.
1650 01:04:38 No.
1651 01:04:39 You useprotection, right?
1652 01:04:40 Yeah.
1653 01:04:41 Yeah, yeah. She's gotlittle bowls of condoms
1654 01:04:44 all aroundher apartment.
1655 01:04:45 Condoms?
1656 01:04:46 I'm not talkingabout condoms.
1657 01:04:47 I'm talking aboutprotection, like a lawyer.
1658 01:04:49 Like a nondisclosureagreement, you know?
1659 01:04:52 No penetrationwithout representation.
1660 01:04:56 Yeah, you're right.
1661 01:04:58 What happened?
1662 01:04:59 Nothing, man.
1663 01:05:01 Listen, I'll tellyou one thing.
1664 01:05:02 You don't wannahave a baby mama.
1665 01:05:03 The next thingyou know,
1666 01:05:04 you're payingfor a Ferrari.
1667 01:05:05 You're getting her a bighouse, a big mansion.
1668 01:05:08 She's gonna want tostart a jumpsuit line,
1669 01:05:09 and you're gonnahave to pay for it.
1670 01:05:11 You wannago through that?
1671 01:05:12 You gotta convinceone of your friends
1672 01:05:13 to say he's the dadand raise the child.
1673 01:05:15 Who wants togo through that?
1674 01:05:16 Kid end upbeing 6'7",
1675 01:05:18 your best friend only 5'2".Mmm-hmm.
1676 01:05:19 Eighteen years later,the kid comes
1677 01:05:21 and he writesa book about you
1678 01:05:23 saying how much ofa jackass you are.
1679 01:05:25 Eighteen years, man.18 years.
1680 01:05:27 Your baby mama's car andcrib is bigger than his.
1681 01:05:29 You could turn onthe TV any given Sunday.
1682 01:05:31 Win the Super Bowland drive off in a Hyundai.
1683 01:05:34 She was supposed to get theshorty Tyco with your money.
1684 01:05:37 Then she went to the doctor,got lipo with your money.
1685 01:05:39 What are youtalking about?
1686 01:05:41 What the fuck areyou talking about?
1687 01:05:43 It's Kanye.
1688 01:05:44 You're quotingKanye West to me?
1689 01:05:45 You know what?Amy's not like that.
1690 01:05:48 Amy's not like that at all.She's awesome.
1691 01:05:50 And this isgonna be great.
1692 01:05:51 I think she's cool, and I don'tthink I have to worry about that.
1693 01:05:53 All right.
1694 01:05:56 Oh!
1695 01:05:57 Did youlet me do that?
1696 01:05:58 Did I just score on you?
1697 01:05:59 Yes! You are my bitch,LeBron James!
1698 01:06:03 But not really.Not really.
1699 01:06:05 You gotta admit, that was a good shot.Come on, man.
1700 01:06:07 I scored onLeBron James.
1701 01:06:08 I'm never playingbasketball again.
1702 01:06:10 Lunch is onyou, buddy!
1703 01:06:11 LEBRON: Where areyou going, Aaron?
1704 01:06:12 AARON: Whom!
1705 01:06:14 Aaron?
1706 01:06:17 LeBron.
1707 01:06:20 Whoo!
1708 01:06:22 God damn it!
1709 01:06:27 How's work?
1710 01:06:29 Work's great,actually.
1711 01:06:32 I think I'm gonnaget that editorjob.
1712 01:06:34 Aaron's been kind of pushingme to think bigger.
1713 01:06:37 Can I justdo this, please?
1714 01:06:40 Aaron was telling meabout this acupuncturist.
1715 01:06:42 She's supposedly amazing.
1716 01:06:43 She helps a lot of hispatients with pain management.
1717 01:06:45 I really want her to take a look at you.Will you do that?
1718 01:06:48 I have no desirefor an Oriental woman
1719 01:06:50 to touch meabove the waist.
1720 01:06:53 Don't say that.That's disgust...
1721 01:06:54 It's Asian.Just say Asian.
1722 01:06:55 Why does Aaronall of a sudden
1723 01:06:58 know everythingabout everything?
1724 01:07:00 He's a doctor.He knows something.
1725 01:07:02 He's a sports doctor. He's nota real doctor, let's face it.
1726 01:07:05 A real doctortries to cure diseases.
1727 01:07:07 He's trying to get courtsideseats for the playoffs.
1728 01:07:09 You're saying sports doctorsaren't real doctors?
1729 01:07:12 Yeah. When they say, "Whatdo you wanna focus on?"
1730 01:07:13 "I wanna focus on MS."
1731 01:07:15 "What do you wanna focus on?""I wanna focus on cancer."
1732 01:07:17 "What about you?"
1733 01:07:18 "Whatever gets me closestto men's locker rooms."
1734 01:07:21 Okay.
1735 01:07:22 "I want giant, athleticpenises close to my face,
1736 01:07:26 "while I'm pretendingto look at their knees."
1737 01:07:28 He's a good doctor,
1738 01:07:29 and he does a lot withDoctors Without Borders.
1739 01:07:30 He's a great guy.
1740 01:07:32 I'm not sayinghe's not a good guy,
1741 01:07:34 but he's gotabout a month left
1742 01:07:36 before you givehim the boot, right?
1743 01:07:38 What does that mean?
1744 01:07:39 He's a reaction from themuscle-bound Knucklehead,
1745 01:07:42 so now you go forthe nerdy brainiac.
1746 01:07:44 I know the way yourpattern works, Amy.
1747 01:07:46 It's my pattern.
1748 01:07:48 No, Dad,I really like him.
1749 01:07:49 I want you to be nice to him, andI want you to take it seriously.
1750 01:07:52 Will you do that?
1751 01:07:53 I think we havea real shot.
1752 01:07:55 That's great.
1753 01:07:56 You sound likea Lifetime movie.
1754 01:07:58 One of the happy ones,not the murder ones.
1755 01:08:00 Don't you wantme to be happy? I mean...
1756 01:08:02 You're building him up, and you'regonna let yourself in for a big fall.
1757 01:08:06 He's gonnabreak your heart.
1758 01:08:09 I'm leaving.
1759 01:08:11 AMY: I'll talk to you later.
1760 01:08:13 I'll tell Temembeto come get you.
1761 01:08:14 GORDON: Amy,don't leave like this.
1762 01:08:18 I don't like it when you don'ttalk to me for a while.
1763 01:08:29 Thank you so muchfor doing this with me.
1764 01:08:31 No, I wanna bedoing this with you.
1765 01:08:34 It's the only one I've everdone that we've framed.
1766 01:08:36 WENDY: It looks great.
1767 01:08:37 It seems like aregional thing.
1768 01:08:39 Girl!
1769 01:08:40 Hey.Hi.
1770 01:08:42 Hi.Hey, I'm Aaron.
1771 01:08:44 I'm Kim. So nice to meet you.
1772 01:08:46 It's really niceto meet you.
1773 01:08:47 You're Tom? Pleasureto meet you.
1774 01:08:49 Hey, Amy.How are you?
1775 01:08:51 Congrats on trapping mysister with your seed.
1776 01:08:54 Well, not all sex ends with aflush and a cry. (CHUCKLES)
1777 01:08:56 Sometimes you get this. (LAUGHS)
1778 01:08:59 That's killer.
1779 01:09:00 This is Wendy and Kyle.
1780 01:09:02 Hello.Hi.
1781 01:09:03 It's great to see you.
1782 01:09:04 (SPEAKING PORTUGUESE)
1783 01:09:07 Nice.Very good.
1784 01:09:08 And what does that mean?Welcome to our party.
1785 01:09:11 It's Portuguese.Realm's teaching me.
1786 01:09:14 That's our son, Realm. We adoptedhim about six months ago.
1787 01:09:17 Yeah, we've been teaching him. Butreally he's been teaching us.
1788 01:09:21 Yeah. How to protect ourselves,how to stand up for ourselves.
1789 01:09:25 He has night terrors.
1790 01:09:26 WENDY: Lot of lessons,really quick.
1791 01:09:28 He's a very strongpresence in our house.
1792 01:09:31 We love you.
1793 01:09:35 Yeah, a lot of lessons.
1794 01:09:37 How to get along with essentially astranger who refuses to learn English.
1795 01:09:42 He doesn't knowhis birthday.
1796 01:09:43 He says around eight, but thedentist said he was 12 at least.
1797 01:09:47 TOM: They know.Yeah, he's through puberty.
1798 01:09:49 For sure.
1799 01:09:52 Yeah. He was so small in theemail, but he's shot up.
1800 01:09:57 Come on in the party.There's drinks on the deck,
1801 01:10:00 and there's food inthe kitchen over here.
1802 01:10:02 And just make yourselfsomething to drink.
1803 01:10:05 KIM: There's every snackyou've ever loved.
1804 01:10:06 I haven't been toa baby shower in years.
1805 01:10:08 We're so gladyou made it.
1806 01:10:09 Yeah. Hey,congratulations, man.
1807 01:10:11 So I hear that youwork with athletes.
1808 01:10:14 Yeah, I'm a physicianand a surgeon.
1809 01:10:16 Mostly work withthe Knicks right now.
1810 01:10:18 ALL: Ooh. TIM: Thatsounds very cool.
1811 01:10:20 Yeah, yeah.
1812 01:10:21 And other athletes.
1813 01:10:23 Really?Like, which ones?
1814 01:10:26 Specifically,which athletes?
1815 01:10:28 Uh... Tom Brady.
1816 01:10:30 (ALL EXCLAIM)
1817 01:10:31 Yeah.
1818 01:10:33 Any other athletesthat you, uh, work with?
1819 01:10:35 Uh... Jay Cutler.
1820 01:10:37 ALL: Whoa! Yeah,I work with him.
1821 01:10:40 Do you guysfollow tennis?
1822 01:10:41 ALL: Yeah.
1823 01:10:42 Roger Federer.
1824 01:10:43 Whoa!
1825 01:10:45 Robert Griffin.
1826 01:10:47 Whoa!
1827 01:10:48 Chris Paul. CP3.
1828 01:10:50 (ALL LAUGHING)
1829 01:10:51 Alex Rodriguez.
1830 01:10:52 Fuck that guy!
1831 01:10:54 TOM: I agree.KEVIN: Yeah.
1832 01:10:56 KEVIN: Fuck him.
1833 01:10:57 TOM: Piece of shit.
1834 01:11:02 Clayton Kershaw.
1835 01:11:03 ALL: on! (LAUGH)
1836 01:11:05 Amy, he's great.
1837 01:11:07 LISA: Yeah, wheredid you find him?
1838 01:11:09 (STAMM ERS) Work.
1839 01:11:10 Well, you two arereally cute together.
1840 01:11:13 You two would havethe most perfect babies.
1841 01:11:16 I could just eat you up.You know?
1842 01:11:18 Yeah, it seems a little earlyfor this kind of talk.
1843 01:11:20 It's not.
1844 01:11:21 If anything,it's late.
1845 01:11:23 My life did not beginuntil I had kids.
1846 01:11:27 Your life has not begun.
1847 01:11:28 Yeah, you know, I'm prettyhappy right now, so...
1848 01:11:32 LISA: Aaron, do youwant a family?
1849 01:11:34 Um... Yeah.
1850 01:11:36 I think I'd liketo have two kids
1851 01:11:37 by the time I'm40 at least, right?
1852 01:11:39 Yeah.Oh, that's great.
1853 01:11:40 Two is tight.It's tight.
1854 01:11:42 WENDY: If I were you,I would start thinking
1855 01:11:43 about having themas soon as possible.
1856 01:11:45 Just breathe. Just breathe.It's fine.
1857 01:11:47 He wants to have kids. Amy.
1858 01:11:48 Right now. Peopletalk about that.
1859 01:11:49 Not really.It's fine.
1860 01:11:51 I don't know anyonethat talks about that.
1861 01:11:52 He's great.It's normal.
1862 01:11:54 I think Aaron's great.I really like him.
1863 01:11:55 Can you tell the members ofHeaven's Gate in there to relax?
1864 01:11:57 No, he's too nice.He's not too nice.
1865 01:11:59 Yes, he is. He's too nice for me.You know it.
1866 01:12:01 No, Amy.
1867 01:12:02 He's the perfect amountof nice that you deserve.
1868 01:12:03 Yeah, but there's deal-breakersacross the board with him.
1869 01:12:05 Like the sex is good.It's really good.
1870 01:12:08 It's great, but it's not thebest I've ever had. You know?
1871 01:12:11 Right. You don't wantbest-sex-that-you've- ever-had guy.
1872 01:12:14 No, you wanna stay with thebest-you've-ever-had guy.
1873 01:12:17 No, you don't.That's a creepy guy.
1874 01:12:18 You don't wannabe with that guy.
1875 01:12:19 Best-sex-that-you've-ever-had guy is in jail.
1876 01:12:22 You know what I mean?
1877 01:12:23 Yeah.
1878 01:12:25 But I've been thinking aboutmaybe reaching out to him.
1879 01:12:27 (LAUGHS) Stop.
1880 01:12:28 Amy, breathe. It's fine.He's great.
1881 01:12:30 You're ridiculous.
1882 01:12:31 ALLISTER: Mother.I'm not ready for...
1883 01:12:32 If I kiss the bellyhard enough,
1884 01:12:34 will the baby feel it?
1885 01:12:37 You wanna try?
1886 01:12:41 I think that thebaby did feel it.
1887 01:12:46 No.
1888 01:12:48 Kim's great, man.
1889 01:12:49 Oh, yeah. She's really awesome.
1890 01:12:51 Kim's the best.
1891 01:12:52 I'm glad I finallygot to meet her.
1892 01:12:54 Yeah, and Amy's great,too, by the way.
1893 01:12:57 I just love her.
1894 01:12:59 But keep her awayfrom those pro athletes.
1895 01:13:01 You know what I mean?(LAUGHING)
1896 01:13:03 Wait, what doesthat mean?
1897 01:13:05 Urn...
1898 01:13:06 No. It was a joke.
1899 01:13:08 Like, that she'dsleep with them.
1900 01:13:10 I don't getthe joke angle.
1901 01:13:12 No, not thatshe would, but...
1902 01:13:15 Those are the kindsof jokes she tells.
1903 01:13:17 Like, "I'm loose! I'm awhore!" or whatever.
1904 01:13:20 That's mygirlfriend.
1905 01:13:21 No! I know.It's not my joke.
1906 01:13:23 Those are the kindof jokes she tells,
1907 01:13:25 which I'm notfor at all.
1908 01:13:27 I'm always like, "Don'ttell these kinds of jokes."
1909 01:13:29 And then she does,and I'm like,
1910 01:13:31 "There shegoes again."
1911 01:13:33 But I'mjust like...
1912 01:13:34 Just forgetI said this.
1913 01:13:35 Just drag thatone to the trash
1914 01:13:37 and emptythe trash.
1915 01:13:46 The game is "Skeletonsin the Closet."
1916 01:13:48 Okay.
1917 01:13:49 We all haveto admit things
1918 01:13:50 we've nevertold anyone before.
1919 01:13:52 KAT: No! Wendy!
1920 01:13:54 Yes!Yes, we have to.
1921 01:13:56 WENDY: We have to do it.KAT: Okay, okay.
1922 01:13:58 Sometimes, afterKyle falls asleep,
1923 01:14:01 I get up and eat SkinnyCow ice cream pops.
1924 01:14:03 No!
1925 01:14:04 LISA: No, you don't.You should be asleep!
1926 01:14:06 I know! SometimesI have the whole box.
1927 01:14:08 LISA: What?
1928 01:14:10 That's like a whole regular-size icecream if you eat the whole box.
1929 01:14:13 I know.Your turn.
1930 01:14:15 Okay. Um...
1931 01:14:17 Last week, I let mysix-year-old watch Glee.
1932 01:14:22 (ALL GASP)LISA: I know. I know.
1933 01:14:23 Too soon!
1934 01:14:24 KIM: That show is very racy.
1935 01:14:26 There were some homosexual undertones.I will say that.
1936 01:14:29 There were two girlskissing in this episode.
1937 01:14:31 And I haven't even explainedto them what gay people are.
1938 01:14:34 Uh, they're people.
1939 01:14:36 Okay, okay.Amy, your turn.
1940 01:14:39 Urn...
1941 01:14:40 I don't know how I'm gonna follow these.They were so good.
1942 01:14:43 You guys arereally brave.
1943 01:14:45 Thanks for trusting.
1944 01:14:47 Urn...
1945 01:14:48 One time, I hadsex with this guy,
1946 01:14:52 and we couldn'tfind the condom.
1947 01:14:53 So, three days later, I found outit was attached to my cervix.
1948 01:14:58 It had been kind ofpounded up there.
1949 01:15:01 And so I googledwhat do I do, right?
1950 01:15:04 So it said justkind of bear down.
1951 01:15:07 Just fish it out.
1952 01:15:09 Make your finger a hook.
1953 01:15:12 So I just hookedmy finger like this,
1954 01:15:14 and then justkind of beared down,
1955 01:15:16 and just got itout of there.
1956 01:15:24 I let Tim and his brothers tagteam me on Christmas morning.
1957 01:15:28 And you know what?It was wonderful.
1958 01:15:34 I like her.
1959 01:15:42 (CELL PHONE RINGING)
1960 01:15:47 AMY: Hi.Hi.
1961 01:15:48 How are you?
1962 01:15:49 Can you come over?
1963 01:15:50 No, Pm working.
1964 01:15:51 Is this aboutthe baby shower?
1965 01:15:52 'Cause I'm sorryI wasn't nicer
1966 01:15:54 to The RealHousewives of Hell.
1967 01:15:56 No, it's fine. It's fine.It's not about that.
1968 01:15:59 What's up?
1969 01:16:01 Um...
1970 01:16:02 Dad died.
1971 01:16:05 He was hoarding his medicationand his heart gave out.
1972 01:16:12 Amy?
1973 01:16:15 Are you there?
1974 01:16:19 NOAM: A little change? A penny?A nickel? A ruble?
1975 01:16:23 Crowdfund this.Come on, help me out.
1976 01:16:28 (TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
1977 01:16:34 Thank you.
1978 01:16:52 (STAMMERING)I had a black boyfriend once.
1979 01:16:56 Your mothermust be proud.
1980 01:17:00 Yep.
1981 01:17:03 And I'ddo it again.
1982 01:17:06 AMY: (CLEARS THROAT)Hello.
1983 01:17:09 Thank youfor coming.
1984 01:17:15 Gordon David Townsend.
1985 01:17:19 Not that great of a guy.
1986 01:17:23 He waskind of racist,
1987 01:17:26 and homophobic.
1988 01:17:28 He was a drunk.
1989 01:17:33 He was a drunk.
1990 01:17:35 He onceapologized to me
1991 01:17:36 for missing avolleyball game
1992 01:17:38 that he was at.
1993 01:17:41 He had made signswith my name on them.
1994 01:17:47 When I was 11,
1995 01:17:49 this kid,Brandon Lipinsky...
1996 01:17:51 Remember Brandon?
1997 01:17:52 He stole my bike.
1998 01:17:56 And he maybe wasjust borrowing it,
1999 01:17:57 but our dadwent over there
2000 01:17:59 and beat the shitout of Brandon's dad,
2001 01:18:01 and his grandpa.
2002 01:18:03 And Brandon.
2003 01:18:04 (ALL CHUCKLING)
2004 01:18:08 I bet hepersonally offended
2005 01:18:10 everyone here.Right?
2006 01:18:11 Raise your hand if ourdad ever offended you.
2007 01:18:19 (LAUGHING)
2008 01:18:21 Yeah.
2009 01:18:22 He was an asshole.
2010 01:18:25 When I asked himto tell me the story
2011 01:18:26 of how he proposedto our mom,
2012 01:18:29 his response was
2013 01:18:31 "who?"
2014 01:18:32 (ALL CHUCKLE)
2015 01:18:35 I know he was joking,
2016 01:18:36 he loved hera lot. But...
2017 01:18:46 He was really sickfor a really long time.
2018 01:18:52 Which isn't fair
2019 01:18:54 because I don'tthink anyone else
2020 01:18:56 was more alive than himwhen he was younger.
2021 01:19:01 He thought it was payback.He thought it was karma.
2022 01:19:05 And that's whyhe got sick,
2023 01:19:06 but I don't think so.
2024 01:19:10 I think he wasthe greatest dad.
2025 01:19:13 He always made mefeel loved and important.
2026 01:19:18 I know he fucked up.(SHUDDERS)
2027 01:19:21 I know he probablyhurt everyone here.
2028 01:19:25 But raise your hand if he wasone of your favorite people.
2029 01:19:33 He was myfavorite person.
2030 01:19:43 Thank you.
2031 01:19:52 You all right?
2032 01:19:56 This makes me wish they'dfound my father's remains.
2033 01:20:11 Hey.
2034 01:20:20 Mother, can we goto La Poubelle now?
2035 01:20:23 Yeah. Sure, honey.
2036 01:20:24 How about apiece of pizza?
2037 01:20:26 So Mom doesn't have to takeyou to a French restaurant.
2038 01:20:28 Pizza hasgluten in it.
2039 01:20:30 Who gives a shit?
2040 01:20:31 I'm sorry. I'm just kidding.We're just...
2041 01:20:34 I'll putAllisterin the car.
2042 01:20:40 Can we haveone second?
2043 01:20:42 I'm joking.
2044 01:20:45 I'm not in themood today.
2045 01:20:46 I'm not in the moodfor the jokes today.
2046 01:20:49 Thought you'd bein a great mood.
2047 01:20:51 You don't have to pay forDad's nursing home anymore.
2048 01:20:54 What are you doing?
2049 01:20:56 What?
2050 01:20:57 Don't push meaway today.
2051 01:20:58 I'm pushingyou away?
2052 01:21:00 Yes.
2053 01:21:02 You've been running away fromthis fucking family forever.
2054 01:21:05 Amy, I am nota crazy person
2055 01:21:07 because I got married,
2056 01:21:08 and got pregnantwith a child.
2057 01:21:10 That's what people do.
2058 01:21:12 Why are you even here?You didn't even like him.
2059 01:21:14 I did everything.
2060 01:21:15 You don't get to pretendtoday like you gave a fuck.
2061 01:21:18 I think that'senough for today, Amy.
2062 01:21:20 We ought to go.
2063 01:21:25 Hey. Hey.
2064 01:21:28 You Okay?
2065 01:21:29 Yeah, I'm good.
2066 01:21:30 You ready to go?
2067 01:21:31 Yeah, let's go.
2068 01:21:32 I just want you to know,I really care about you, okay?
2069 01:21:36 And I love you.Thank you.
2070 01:21:38 What?
2071 01:21:39 Are you seriouslysaying that to me today?
2072 01:21:41 You're gonna saythat to me, seriously,
2073 01:21:43 for the first timeright now?
2074 01:21:45 They're putting dirt onmy dad's body behind you.
2075 01:21:48 Today is the dayyou say that? Let's go.
2076 01:21:51 Is that bad?Yes, that's bad.
2077 01:21:52 Bad timing.
2078 01:21:53 Sorry aboutthat. Sorry.
2079 01:21:55 Is this us?
2080 01:21:57 We're waydown there.
2081 01:21:59 Is this us?
2082 01:22:00 No.
2083 01:22:03 Can he pull up?
2084 01:22:04 Do we have his number?Is this us?
2085 01:22:06 Sorry aboutthat. Sorry.
2086 01:22:35 (SIGHING)
2087 01:22:43 Hey.
2088 01:22:45 How's it going,sweetheart?
2089 01:22:47 I'm getting by.Mmm-hmm.
2090 01:22:49 Thank you for coming the other day.That was really nice.
2091 01:22:52 I can't believehe's gone.
2092 01:22:54 I'm literallyjust sitting here
2093 01:22:55 waiting for him to call.
2094 01:22:57 It feels likea dream or something.
2095 01:23:00 Are we stilltalking about this?
2096 01:23:03 That waseight days ago.
2097 01:23:06 I'm over it.
2098 01:23:07 It was hard,but I'm over it.
2099 01:23:10 All right.
2100 01:23:11 Best way to grieve...
2101 01:23:13 Don't do it.
2102 01:23:16 Don't.
2103 01:23:17 Do not grieve?No.
2104 01:23:20 I've got goodnews for you.
2105 01:23:22 You know that story, that Mr.Doctor Boring Sports Guy?
2106 01:23:25 Well, I cut it.
2107 01:23:27 I know you weren't in lovewith that piece anyway.
2108 01:23:29 No, no, no. I was veryin love with that.
2109 01:23:31 I love that piece.
2110 01:23:33 There's nothing happening.There's no tension.
2111 01:23:34 There's no sex appeal.He's a bore.
2112 01:23:37 Did you see the pictures?We did a photo shoot.
2113 01:23:40 Look at him.
2114 01:23:41 Personally, I don'tlike his odd bird face,
2115 01:23:45 but we triedeverything.
2116 01:23:46 We tried a ball.
2117 01:23:47 He's supposed tobe a sports guy.
2118 01:23:48 I don't think he'd evertouched a ball before.
2119 01:23:49 Not that kind, anyway.
2120 01:23:51 And there he is. Lookat him standing there,
2121 01:23:52 stiff as a scarecrow.
2122 01:23:54 These guys,they're hot, right?
2123 01:23:55 We even got him wet!Would you fuck that?
2124 01:23:58 Sure.
2125 01:23:59 You would? I wouldn'tfuck that with your dick.
2126 01:24:01 No. We decidedto go with
2127 01:24:03 "Ugliest CelebrityKids Under 6."
2128 01:24:05 Let's get thisdone, Amy.
2129 01:24:07 Or we are nottalking promotion.
2130 01:24:09 MMm-hmm.Good girl.
2131 01:24:15 Almost ready?
2132 01:24:17 AMY: Yeah,I need two seconds.
2133 01:24:19 How you feeling aboutAmar'e's surgery tomorrow?
2134 01:24:21 I don't feel anypressure at all, you know?
2135 01:24:23 If it doesn't work, it'sjust the end of his career.
2136 01:24:25 But (CLICKS TONGUE)lfeel fine.
2137 01:24:28 I can't breathe in this.
2138 01:24:29 AARON: You look great.
2139 01:24:30 Yeah?Yeah.
2140 01:24:32 Thanks.
2141 01:24:33 Is that a formal dress?Or what is it?
2142 01:24:36 Yeah. It's like...
2143 01:24:39 There's flowers on it.It's shiny, kind of...
2144 01:24:42 Is it too short?
2145 01:24:44 No, no, no.
2146 01:24:46 These people...They're real conservative.
2147 01:24:51 AMY: Okay, so...
2148 01:24:52 It's like more gown...
2149 01:24:53 Oh, yeah. A gown?
2150 01:24:54 Do you want me to justgo into my gown closet?
2151 01:24:57 No, no.
2152 01:24:59 AMY: Would you grab my tiara?It's right next to my pearls.
2153 01:25:01 Forget I said anything.Forget I said anything.
2154 01:25:03 I didn't mean anything.I know nothing about fashion.
2155 01:25:05 You look beautiful.
2156 01:25:06 You're crazy hot.Let's go.
2157 01:25:11 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
2158 01:25:15 AARON: You look beautiful.
2159 01:25:16 I look like a dickhead. Why didn'tyou tell me this was so fancy?
2160 01:25:19 Come on, it's nice. You look really nice.I'm serious.
2161 01:25:23 Congratulations.
2162 01:25:24 Maybe we can talk a littlelater about another charity.
2163 01:25:26 Yeah. Yes, please.
2164 01:25:28 It's Arnold,from Somalia.
2165 01:25:29 Good to seeyou, Arnold.
2166 01:25:30 Do we need a...Right, tables.
2167 01:25:32 Enjoy the day.You've earned it.
2168 01:25:33 Oh! Thank you,buddy. Thanks.
2169 01:25:36 Dr. Conners,welcome.
2170 01:25:37 Hi. How are you?
2171 01:25:39 Do you mind if I grab you just fora minute? To go over some things.
2172 01:25:42 I'll be rightback,okay?
2173 01:25:43 Okay.
2174 01:25:45 Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Okay.
2175 01:26:03 WAITER: Would youlike some more wine?
2176 01:26:04 AMY: Yeah,that'd be great.
2177 01:26:06 Hey, it's a luncheon.
2178 01:26:08 It's wine.
2179 01:26:10 I'll have some more.
2180 01:26:11 (APPLAUSE)
2181 01:26:15 TONY ROMO: Thank you.
2182 01:26:16 Thanks, everyone.
2183 01:26:18 I'm Tony Romo.
2184 01:26:22 Soccer?Football.
2185 01:26:24 Tell you what, I don't getcheered in New York very often,
2186 01:26:26 so this is a raretreat for me this evening.
2187 01:26:28 AMAR'E: Dallas suck!(ALL LAUGHING)
2188 01:26:31 That's Amar'e Stoudemireif you guys do not know.
2189 01:26:32 He's been followingme around all week.
2190 01:26:35 Anyway, we're here today to talkabout our esteemed recipient.
2191 01:26:40 No athlete wants togo under the knife,
2192 01:26:42 but when you do, you feelcomfortable with Dr. Conners.
2193 01:26:46 He's not just changingprofessional athletes
2194 01:26:48 and the way theylook at medicine,
2195 01:26:49 he's also changing the world.And he's helping everybody.
2196 01:26:52 From pandemics,to war-torn regions,
2197 01:26:54 to extremepoverty situations,
2198 01:26:56 they feel safe in his hands.
2199 01:26:58 To our MVP andto my good friend,
2200 01:27:01 (EXHALES HEAVILY)Dr. Aaron Conners.
2201 01:27:04 Good luck.
2202 01:27:16 AARON: Hey,look at this.
2203 01:27:21 Look at this. Very nice.
2204 01:27:23 Very nice of you guys.
2205 01:27:25 It's very sharp.
2206 01:27:27 I'll be doing the surgerytomorrow with this, Amar'e.
2207 01:27:31 And, remember, don't eatanything after midnight.
2208 01:27:33 I'm hungry!
2209 01:27:37 But I really...
2210 01:27:38 (CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
2211 01:27:39 I really want to thank the actualheroes from Doctors Without Borders.
2212 01:27:42 (CELL PHONE CHIMES)Sorry.
2213 01:27:43 Mark Twain said, "Be carefulabout reading health books.
2214 01:27:46 "You may die of a misprint. "(RINGING)
2215 01:27:48 Shit.
2216 01:27:50 Hello?
2217 01:27:51 DIANNA: Amy, it's Dianna.Hi, Dianna.
2218 01:27:53 We really need to talk.
2219 01:27:55 Actually, it's a really bad time.ls there any chance...
2220 01:27:57 No, I don't want tohear that it's a bad time.
2221 01:27:59 Yeah, but maybein an hour?
2222 01:28:01 You can be replaced withinthe hour by 90 other girls,
2223 01:28:04 who graduated from places betterthan whatever state school
2224 01:28:08 you blew your way through.(SIGHS)
2225 01:28:10 I'm stepping out.
2226 01:28:11 Thank you very much.
2227 01:28:12 For fuck's sake!
2228 01:28:14 AARON: Um...
2229 01:28:16 This...
2230 01:28:20 This organization cameinto my life at a time
2231 01:28:22 when I was looking totruly make a difference.
2232 01:28:24 WANNA". Which of thesecan we live without?
2233 01:28:26 "We Forgive You,Lance Armstrong",
2234 01:28:28 "The Inventor of thePussy Magnet", Mmm-hmm.
2235 01:28:30 and "Are you Gay oris She Just Boring?"
2236 01:28:33 What do you think?(SIGHS)
2237 01:28:35 ...is a family.
2238 01:28:36 And it's a family that I'm very,very happy to be a part of.
2239 01:28:39 Thank you guys very much.It's very nice of you.
2240 01:28:43 Thank you.
2241 01:28:47 Thank you.
2242 01:28:59 Hey!
2243 01:29:02 Hey. I was justcoming in to watch you.
2244 01:29:04 Yeah,you missed it.
2245 01:29:06 Shit. I got a phone call.How'd it go?
2246 01:29:07 Look, Amy, I know you're goingthrough a lot right now,
2247 01:29:09 (STAMMERING) but I reallyneeded you in there.
2248 01:29:12 Instead, you're out here,smoking weed.
2249 01:29:14 No, I didn't come out here to smoke pot.I came out because...
2250 01:29:17 Because Dianna called.
2251 01:29:19 Amy, I really, reallyneeded you out there.
2252 01:29:21 You were my lifeline.You knew that.
2253 01:29:22 I really can't take you seriouslywhen you're holding that.
2254 01:29:24 Why did you carryyour award out here?
2255 01:29:26 You don't haveto carry it around
2256 01:29:27 like Anne Hathawayat an Oscar party.
2257 01:29:29 Can you put it down?So I can...
2258 01:29:30 That's crazy, Amy.
2259 01:29:32 You knew I wanted todo that speech to you!
2260 01:29:34 (SIGHS) Yeah,I'm so sorry.
2261 01:29:36 I really didn'twant to miss it,
2262 01:29:37 but I'm afraid I'm gonnalose my job right now.
2263 01:29:39 But it doesn't matter!
2264 01:29:41 You shouldn'thave your phone on
2265 01:29:42 in the middle ofmy speech anyway.
2266 01:29:43 That was just sodisrespectful, Amy.
2267 01:29:46 All right, goodbye.
2268 01:29:47 No, Amy! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whatare you talking about, "goodbye"?
2269 01:29:49 What? I'm leaving!
2270 01:29:50 We're fighting. We're notgonna talk for a while.
2271 01:29:52 That's how this works.
2272 01:29:54 What are youtalking about?
2273 01:29:55 No! We're justhaving a fight.
2274 01:29:57 What are we doing?What do you want?
2275 01:30:00 Why are you with me?
2276 01:30:01 I love you.
2277 01:30:02 WhY do you keepSaying that?
2278 01:30:04 Because I mean it! I love you!I'm crazy about you!
2279 01:30:06 What do youwant me to say?
2280 01:30:07 We're just having a fight.You insulted me,
2281 01:30:10 and we'll talk about it,and we'll work through it.
2282 01:30:12 What's wrong with youthat you want to be with me?
2283 01:30:14 I'm a drinker.
2284 01:30:16 I don't care!
2285 01:30:17 I've been witha lot of guys.
2286 01:30:18 I don't care!
2287 01:30:20 How many?
2288 01:30:21 I don't know.
2289 01:30:23 How many girlshave you slept with?
2290 01:30:25 I've slept withthree women.
2291 01:30:26 Me, too.
2292 01:30:27 I have slept withthree women, too.
2293 01:30:30 How many guys?
2294 01:30:32 What, this year?
2295 01:30:33 This year?
2296 01:30:34 Fuck this. I'm nottalking about this.
2297 01:30:36 Come on. Don't say "fuck this."
2298 01:30:37 Don't follow me.Amy!
2299 01:30:39 I'm tired.I wanna go to sleep.
2300 01:30:41 You can go to your apartment.It's nicer than mine.
2301 01:30:44 No. Look, my parents had asaying, "Don't go to bed angry."
2302 01:30:47 We're angry, let's resolve this.Okay?
2303 01:30:49 Your parentsweren't that happy.
2304 01:30:50 They're very haPPY-
2305 01:30:52 Fine. You wannatalk about it?
2306 01:30:53 You want to get into it? Yes!
2307 01:30:54 Let's get into all of it right now.Yes, please.
2308 01:30:55 Okay, let's do it.Okay.
2309 01:30:57 I'll start.
2310 01:30:58 You go downon me too much.
2311 01:31:00 What?Yeah.
2312 01:31:01 It's selfish.
2313 01:31:02 No, it is actually selfish,because you act...
2314 01:31:04 Don't looklike I'm crazy.
2315 01:31:05 You act likeit's for me,
2316 01:31:07 but really, it's just toshow how great you are.
2317 01:31:09 Like, you're alwayshelping people.
2318 01:31:11 So I shouldn't godown on you as much?
2319 01:31:12 Don't try andspin this as a way
2320 01:31:13 to not go downon me as much.
2321 01:31:15 That's ridiculous.
2322 01:31:16 Of course, I want you togo down on me that much.
2323 01:31:18 So take itdown a notch?
2324 01:31:19 No, keep goingdown on me.
2325 01:31:21 Forget this whole partof the argument, okay?
2326 01:31:23 Forget that.
2327 01:31:27 I'm so gladyou apologized.
2328 01:31:28 I didn't apologize!
2329 01:31:31 WOW!
2330 01:31:32 I did notapologize.
2331 01:31:33 Are you seriousright now?
2332 01:31:35 I've been througha lot this year,
2333 01:31:37 and of course I'm gonna havesome ups and downs,
2334 01:31:40 but that's why I needto stop and then say,
2335 01:31:42 "Am I gonna justfollow the river
2336 01:31:43 "or am I gonna makedecisions in my..."
2337 01:31:45 You're sleeping!
2338 01:31:47 You were just asleep.
2339 01:31:49 No, I wasn't.Okay, good.
2340 01:31:50 Because I am not even close to done.Okay.
2341 01:31:52 I have a lot of thoughts and I'mthinking very clearly right now.
2342 01:31:55 I'm so glad that I feel comfortableenough with you to talk like this.
2343 01:31:58 This is the timewhen you have to look
2344 01:32:00 at yourself and say...(SNORING)
2345 01:32:01 "Am I living thebest life I could?"
2346 01:32:02 "Am I the bestversion of myself
2347 01:32:04 "that I couldpossibly be?"
2348 01:32:06 That's why I needto stop and then say,
2349 01:32:08 "Am I gonna just follow theriver or am I gonna..."
2350 01:32:10 Wake up, Aaron!
2351 01:32:12 You're totally sleeping!Mmm-mm.
2352 01:32:14 You said we weregonna stay up
2353 01:32:15 until we figure it out,like your parents.
2354 01:32:17 I'm listening.
2355 01:32:18 AMY: What did I just say?
2356 01:32:19 You said, "Wake up."
2357 01:32:35 Amar'e.What's up, Doc?
2358 01:32:37 How you feeHng,buddy? Good.
2359 01:32:38 You ready to do this? Yeah.
2360 01:32:40 We're gonna do this.It's gonna be great.
2361 01:32:41 Awesome.
2362 01:32:42 You met Rachel?Yes.
2363 01:32:44 We've been acquainted.
2364 01:32:45 Okay. What do we have here?
2365 01:32:47 This is just a little moresedative to relax you.
2366 01:32:50 Hey, the good stuff.
2367 01:32:51 Yeah.
2368 01:32:52 Okay. Oh, whoa!
2369 01:32:54 All right, buddy.
2370 01:32:55 Okay. So, we're gonna be replacingyour cruciate ligament.
2371 01:32:59 And, um...
2372 01:33:02 Uh, do you want a coffee?Hey, could we get a coffee?
2373 01:33:05 I can't. I'm not supposedto drink before...
2374 01:33:07 Right. Don'tworry about it.
2375 01:33:08 Just one coffee,for me. Um...
2376 01:33:11 Are you okay, Doc?
2377 01:33:12 Me? I'm great.I'm great. Yeah.
2378 01:33:15 Me and Amy got intoa little bit of an argument,
2379 01:33:16 but I thinkI'm doing okay.
2380 01:33:19 Yeah, this is gonnago really well.
2381 01:33:20 She really litinto me last night.
2382 01:33:23 Wow.AARON: Like really...
2383 01:33:25 A side of her I'venever seen before.
2384 01:33:28 It got dark, fast.
2385 01:33:29 It really fucked me up.
2386 01:33:31 Are you sureyou're okay?
2387 01:33:32 AARON: I'm good, I'm good.
2388 01:33:33 We're gonnaget this going.
2389 01:33:34 AMAR'E: Okay. Perfect.
2390 01:33:36 (CLATTERING)
2391 01:33:38 I'm gonna mark the knee that we'regonna do the surgery on, all right?
2392 01:33:42 Doc, this is thewrong knee.
2393 01:33:43 I'm marking this asnot the knee to do.
2394 01:33:45 This is not the knee.
2395 01:33:48 Not this knee.
2396 01:33:51 Not this knee.
2397 01:33:52 Are you sureyou're okay, Doc?
2398 01:33:53 Amar'e, I'm great.
2399 01:33:55 This is gonna go great. This is thebad boy we're gonna split open.
2400 01:33:58 You know what?This is a bad idea.
2401 01:34:00 Amar'e, you're nervous.Everyone gets nervous.
2402 01:34:03 I don't thinkyou get it, Doc.
2403 01:34:04 We need toreschedule this.
2404 01:34:06 AARON: No, no, no.
2405 01:34:07 We're not doing that. I'm gonnaget you back out on the court.
2406 01:34:09 We gotta get youback out on the court.
2407 01:34:10 I wanna see youplay. Okay?
2408 01:34:11 I'm here for you, okay?
2409 01:34:13 You're nervous,I'm nervous.
2410 01:34:15 Amy was acting likea psycho last night.
2411 01:34:18 I don't know what I did.
2412 01:34:19 I really,really like her,
2413 01:34:23 but she's likea fucking demon.
2414 01:34:26 She's like thefucking Exorcist.
2415 01:34:29 I said, "You gotta let me go to sleep.I have a surgery."
2416 01:34:32 And you know what she said?She said,
2417 01:34:34 (MIMICKING DEMONIC VOICE)"No!"
2418 01:34:35 I'm taking a rain check.No, no, no.
2419 01:34:36 I'm out of here.No, no, no.
2420 01:34:38 (SPITTING)(HEART MONITOR FLATLINES)
2421 01:34:40 Hey, Amar'e.
2422 01:34:42 Mr. Stoudemire,where are you going?
2423 01:34:43 I've gotta get out of here.I've gotta get out of here.
2424 01:34:48 RACHEL: Amar'e!Watch your head.
2425 01:34:50 Oh!(THUDDING)
2426 01:34:51 (METALLIC CLATTERING)Oh, shit!
2427 01:34:55 (DOOR OPENS)
2428 01:35:01 Hey.AARON: Hey.
2429 01:35:02 How'd it go?
2430 01:35:05 Have you just been watchingTV and smoking pot all day?
2431 01:35:08 No. I got up andhad some cereal.
2432 01:35:11 At some point.
2433 01:35:15 They canceledmy surgery today.
2434 01:35:19 Amar'e didn't feel comfortablewith me performing it
2435 01:35:21 because I wastoo ti red,
2436 01:35:22 so he fled.
2437 01:35:25 He was on a lotof anesthesia. He fell.
2438 01:35:29 And when I tried to helphim, he called me a witch.
2439 01:35:32 Is he okay?
2440 01:35:35 You know, and it was becauseof all this shit last night.
2441 01:35:38 Which was crazy.
2442 01:35:40 It was bad.
2443 01:35:41 Yeah.
2444 01:35:45 You know, I've beenthinking about all that
2445 01:35:47 and I was walkingover here,
2446 01:35:51 and lwasjust thinking, maybe...(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
2447 01:35:53 Can I say something?
2448 01:35:56 (STAMMERS) It does botherme that you smoke pot,
2449 01:36:00 and that youdrink a lot,
2450 01:36:02 and I do care that youslept with a lot of guys.
2451 01:36:05 It makes me feelunsafe or something.
2452 01:36:06 Okay, yeah.
2453 01:36:08 Yeah, you should be with agirl who you feel safe with.
2454 01:36:11 That's not what I'm saying.That's not what I'm saying.
2455 01:36:13 It's very clear. That's fine.It's obvious.
2456 01:36:16 You should be with oneof those cheerleaders.
2457 01:36:18 Amy, that's notwhat I'm saying.
2458 01:36:20 Just go be withthat kind of girl.
2459 01:36:21 A little Texan withhuge hair and big tits.
2460 01:36:24 And then, whenyou get married,
2461 01:36:25 she wants to bemore conservative,
2462 01:36:27 so she just getssmaller fake tits put in,
2463 01:36:30 but they stilllook amazing.
2464 01:36:32 The thing aboutcheerleaders is that
2465 01:36:34 they bringpeople together
2466 01:36:36 and they makepeople happy.
2467 01:36:37 Unlike you and yourfriends at your magazine
2468 01:36:40 who sit there and judgepeople from afar
2469 01:36:44 because if you don't try,then you can't fail.
2470 01:36:47 That's why you'rethreatened by cheerleaders.
2471 01:36:49 That's me.
2472 01:36:51 You really got me.
2473 01:36:53 (SIGHS)
2474 01:36:56 All right.You know what, Amy?
2475 01:36:58 Urn...
2476 01:37:00 You know what?We're...
2477 01:37:03 I have to do thesurgery in two days.
2478 01:37:05 Let's just takethose two days off.
2479 01:37:07 And then...
2480 01:37:09 I'll do the surgery and then we'llcome back and we'll work this out.
2481 01:37:11 I think you're right.That's good.
2482 01:37:15 I know we'redone here.
2483 01:37:17 "We're done"? What areyou talking about?
2484 01:37:18 Amy, that's notwhat I'm saying.
2485 01:37:20 And you know what?It's fine.
2486 01:37:21 It's not fine. It'sfine that we're done.
2487 01:37:22 Because don't need totalk to you anymore,
2488 01:37:24 because theinterview is over.
2489 01:37:25 Because yourarticle got canceled.
2490 01:37:29 My boss said youwere too boring.
2491 01:37:36 (CHUCKLES)
2492 01:37:37 All right.
2493 01:37:39 You win.
2494 01:37:47 (DOOR CLOSES)
2495 01:37:58 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
2496 01:37:58 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
2497 01:38:22 Hey.
2498 01:38:24 Hey.
2499 01:38:25 How you doing?
2500 01:38:26 So great.
2501 01:38:28 It's fun, right?
2502 01:38:29 This is the best.I love this.
2503 01:38:32 So, are you gonna work at themagazine after the internship?
2504 01:38:38 Honestly?
2505 01:38:39 Yeah.
2506 01:38:40 Probably not.
2507 01:38:42 Why? You're so goodand you have energy.
2508 01:38:45 Yeah, I know,but being around
2509 01:38:46 all these photographs,
2510 01:38:48 I think I wannado photography.
2511 01:38:52 Yeah, I can see that for you.Pictures and...
2512 01:38:56 I love that stuff, like thephoto shoots for... Yeah.
2513 01:38:59 BARTENDER: Hey!Last call for alcohol!
2514 01:39:03 I gotta getout of here.
2515 01:39:05 Oh. You wannaget out of here?
2516 01:39:10 Yeah, okay.Let's go.
2517 01:39:13 Let's go.Okay.
2518 01:39:15 (GLASSES CLINK)
2519 01:39:16 Cool.
2520 01:39:25 Shit, Donald.
2521 01:39:40 It's so nice to hang withyou outside the office.
2522 01:39:43 This is great.
2523 01:39:44 I really like you.
2524 01:39:46 I really like you.
2525 01:39:47 You're great.
2526 01:39:55 (MOANING SOFTLY)
2527 01:40:05 Okay, maybe let'snext-phase it up, you know?
2528 01:40:08 Okay.
2529 01:40:10 I know justwhat you mean.
2530 01:40:13 Ooh.
2531 01:40:15 Oh!
2532 01:40:17 Hey.
2533 01:40:18 When did youget here?
2534 01:40:21 Yeah, let's getthat going.
2535 01:40:24 (DONALD MOANS SOFTLY)
2536 01:40:28 Shit.
2537 01:40:30 Shit.
2538 01:40:31 Yeah. Shit!
2539 01:40:33 Just feel me.Feel me.
2540 01:40:34 Okay.
2541 01:40:35 Feel me.
2542 01:40:37 You like that?Grab my tits.
2543 01:40:38 Grab them,feel them.
2544 01:40:40 I feel like I'm theone with the tits
2545 01:40:42 in the equation,but this is cool.
2546 01:40:43 You wanna lick them?
2547 01:40:45 You wanna lick them? Yes, you do.You wanna lick them.
2548 01:40:48 Are you there?
2549 01:40:49 Yeah.Now I'm there.
2550 01:40:50 Yeah, suckle it.
2551 01:40:52 (MOANING)
2552 01:40:53 Shit.
2553 01:40:55 I don't havea good angle.
2554 01:41:05 What?
2555 01:41:06 DONALD: You're just gonna stayreally still for me, okay?
2556 01:41:09 Stay really still. Yeah?
2557 01:41:11 What is that?
2558 01:41:12 (MOANS)
2559 01:41:14 (SNORTING)
2560 01:41:15 Ah!
2561 01:41:18 Yeah.What is that?
2562 01:41:20 It's Adderall.I have ADHD,
2563 01:41:21 so it just helps mewith my education.
2564 01:41:25 AMY: Oh, Okay.
2565 01:41:26 Okay, this so great, but...
2566 01:41:29 Cradle my bonch!
2567 01:41:31 Your what?Cradle my bonch!
2568 01:41:32 I'm gonna take a raincheck, but how about...
2569 01:41:34 You wanna get on top?You wanna take charge, Daddy?
2570 01:41:36 You wanna takecharge, Daddy?
2571 01:41:39 I think it'sMama's turn.
2572 01:41:40 Sure, Daddy.
2573 01:41:42 DONALD: Yeah.
2574 01:41:43 All right,this is great.
2575 01:41:45 I just wantyou to know
2576 01:41:47 my safe wordis "pineapple."
2577 01:41:49 All right. Got it.
2578 01:41:51 (MOANING)
2579 01:41:53 AMY: Okay.
2580 01:41:55 Hit me.
2581 01:41:56 Hit you?
2582 01:41:57 Yeah, I want youto hit me.
2583 01:41:59 Okay.
2584 01:42:02 Are you serious?
2585 01:42:03 In the face!
2586 01:42:06 Hit me!I'm hitting you!
2587 01:42:08 Hit me hard.
2588 01:42:10 Oh! Fuckingdo it already!
2589 01:42:12 Hit me!I'm hitting you!
2590 01:42:14 Why don't you take a littlearthritis medication
2591 01:42:16 and then try again?
2592 01:42:19 You patheticchildless MILF.
2593 01:42:21 Hit me like this!
2594 01:42:23 C)vv!
2595 01:42:24 (GRUNTS)
2596 01:42:25 Fuck!
2597 01:42:27 Shit!
2598 01:42:28 Pineapple! Pineapple!
2599 01:42:29 Donny, what's goingon back here?
2600 01:42:32 Mommy!
2601 01:42:33 “Mommy”?
2602 01:42:34 Mommy, my 9Y9-
2603 01:42:36 He is 16 years old!
2604 01:42:38 Fuck!
2605 01:42:42 So.
2606 01:42:44 You hadquite a night.
2607 01:42:46 I'm so...
2608 01:42:50 Amy.
2609 01:42:51 Listen, we'veall been there.
2610 01:42:55 Oh, yeah.(CHUCKLES)
2611 01:42:57 I once fucked three-quartersof Pink Floyd.
2612 01:43:01 Yeah.
2613 01:43:02 Dark side ofall their moons.
2614 01:43:05 Amy.
2615 01:43:08 You're a verystrong writer.
2616 01:43:10 I will go so faras to say
2617 01:43:12 that you are mymost valuable writer.
2618 01:43:16 Thank you.
2619 01:43:18 I reread your latest draft of the Dr.Conners piece,
2620 01:43:21 and I have to confess,I spoke too soon.
2621 01:43:23 It is very good.
2622 01:43:25 Really?It really is.
2623 01:43:27 Really?Yeah, it's very good.
2624 01:43:28 Thank you. You won'tregret this, Dianna.
2625 01:43:31 I know you said, don't...
2626 01:43:32 I won't regret what?
2627 01:43:34 I'm not gonnapublish it here.
2628 01:43:35 No, no, no.Amy, you're fired.
2629 01:43:38 Amy, how couldyou not get that?
2630 01:43:40 You are so fired.
2631 01:43:42 My love, I can't haveone of my employees
2632 01:43:45 having sex withsomeone underage
2633 01:43:48 and beating them up.
2634 01:43:49 You know? One or the other,
2635 01:43:51 but not the combo.
2636 01:43:52 See what I'm saying?
2637 01:43:53 Hey, Dianna,we just, um...
2638 01:43:55 Oh...
2639 01:43:56 You'redoing it now?
2640 01:43:58 Sorry. Should we come back,or did it already happen?
2641 01:44:02 Everyone knows?
2642 01:44:03 Did whatalready happen?
2643 01:44:05 Amy fucked Donald.
2644 01:44:06 Amy... I didn't fuck Donald.I tried...
2645 01:44:10 You tried?He's 16.
2646 01:44:11 Oh, my God!
2647 01:44:12 Can you get out,you guys? Go, please.
2648 01:44:15 BRYSON: His safeword is "pineapple."
2649 01:44:16 Fuck you!Fuck you, Schultz!
2650 01:44:18 Can you go? You want to lineup the winners you fucked?
2651 01:44:20 Hey, congrats. Nice.
2652 01:44:22 AMY: The girl you fuckedwhile she was quarantined
2653 01:44:24 for we don't even know what.
2654 01:44:25 I'm sorry about that.That's so inappropriate.
2655 01:44:27 Anyway, nice news. I knowyou're close with Nikki.
2656 01:44:30 She got theExecutive Editor position.
2657 01:44:34 Oh, that's great.
2658 01:44:35 NIKKI: Thanks, Amy.That means the world.
2659 01:44:38 Although, I canturn down the position
2660 01:44:41 if you want me to.
2661 01:44:43 AMY: Okay, yeah.Please don't take it.
2662 01:44:45 I'm serious.
2663 01:44:47 I'm kidding.
2664 01:44:51 NIKKI: You're funny.Congratulations.
2665 01:44:53 You scared me.
2666 01:44:55 (CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
2667 01:44:58 She's great.I mean she's...
2668 01:45:00 She lookslike an idiot.
2669 01:45:07 Okay.
2670 01:45:09 Go.I'll go.
2671 01:46:18 (WHISPERING)Amar'e. Hey, buddy.
2672 01:46:20 Hey, Doc.
2673 01:46:21 Hey.
2674 01:46:23 How'd we do?
2675 01:46:24 We did great.
2676 01:46:26 You get some sleep.
2677 01:46:28 Did it goTom Brady good?
2678 01:46:29 It went betterthan Brady good.
2679 01:46:31 Have you seenhis wife, Gisele?
2680 01:46:33 Yeah, I have.
2681 01:46:34 She's hot.
2682 01:46:35 Look, you're on alot of medication right now,
2683 01:46:36 so why don't you justget some sleep, all right?
2684 01:46:39 Isn't she like aVictoria's Secret model?
2685 01:46:41 I don't know.I think so. Yeah.
2686 01:46:44 I'm gonna be right here.I'm gonna be on this floor.
2687 01:46:47 So, if you need anything,you let me know, okay?
2688 01:46:50 I follow heron lnstagram.
2689 01:46:51 Okay.
2690 01:46:52 You should go to sleep.Okay, buddy?
2691 01:46:54 Oh!
2692 01:46:57 AARON: Are wegonna do this again?
2693 01:46:58 All right.
2694 01:47:00 Yeah.
2695 01:47:01 AMAR'E: I love you.
2696 01:47:02 AARON: Oh, I love you too, man.It went great.
2697 01:47:04 (SNORING)AARON: Okay.
2698 01:47:06 Okay.And he's asleep.
2699 01:47:11 (DOG WHIMPERINGOVER TELEVISION)
2700 01:47:14 Everybody's lefta dog in a hot car
2701 01:47:18 at some pointin their lives.
2702 01:47:21 I don't thinkthat's true.
2703 01:47:24 I trust you withmy hot doggie.
2704 01:47:26 (CELL PHONE RINGING)
2705 01:47:34 Hello.
2706 01:47:35 LEBRON: Hey, Aaron, this is LeBron.I'm at the gym, man.
2707 01:47:37 I think I pulled something.You pulled something?
2708 01:47:39 You need to come down.
2709 01:47:41 It hurts like a mother.
2710 01:47:42 Yeah, hey.I'll be right over.
2711 01:47:44 Hurry up! Just sit tight,I'll be right over.
2712 01:47:49 LeBron!
2713 01:47:53 Hey.
2714 01:47:57 You Okay?
2715 01:47:59 I'm not okay, Aaron.I'm concerned about you.
2716 01:48:01 So you're not hurt?
2717 01:48:03 LEBRONI No.
2718 01:48:04 This is your intervention.
2719 01:48:06 What? My intervention?
2720 01:48:08 For what?
2721 01:48:10 You ruinedthings with Amy.
2722 01:48:12 This is about Amy?
2723 01:48:13 LEBRON: You'vebeen so sad lately.
2724 01:48:15 It's scaring me.
2725 01:48:16 BRODERICK: Aaron.
2726 01:48:18 We're concerned about you.
2727 01:48:19 You've helped us, and nowwe're gonna help you.
2728 01:48:21 Come on, man.Sit down.
2729 01:48:25 MARV:It started and it is on.
2730 01:48:29 I'm sorry I'm late.
2731 01:48:31 Did I missanything?
2732 01:48:32 Now, I know that relationshipscan be terrifying,
2733 01:48:35 but you don't just bail outat the first sign of trouble.
2734 01:48:38 It's obvious.Aaron, choking
2735 01:48:40 under intense pressure.
2736 01:48:42 I did not choke, Marv.
2737 01:48:43 You know what? Thanks for that, Matthew, but,you know, you like a charmed life, okay?
2738 01:48:47 My situation's much morecomplicated, you know.
2739 01:48:48 Not all of us can be Ferris Bueller andmarry the star of Sex and the City.
2740 01:48:53 Why not? I did.
2741 01:48:55 Yeah. You did. You married thestar of Sex and the City.
2742 01:48:58 There's three other ladieson that show.
2743 01:49:00 Yeah, one's a lesbian.Now.
2744 01:49:03 Matthew, it's not helpful.We want him to stay with Amy.
2745 01:49:06 Look, if he's not happy and she'snot the right one for him,
2746 01:49:09 then, obviously,it's just not meant to be.
2747 01:49:12 Sometimes, the right person happensto be sitting right in front of you.
2748 01:49:16 Chris Everthitting on Aaron hard.
2749 01:49:19 LEBRON: Chris,don't hit on Aaron.
2750 01:49:21 LeBron, don't bea cock-blocker.
2751 01:49:23 Evert is stillat it and, frankly,
2752 01:49:25 it's making meuncomfortable.
2753 01:49:28 (GROANS) BRODERICK: You knowwhat I think the issue might be?
2754 01:49:30 You're probably focusingon her problems
2755 01:49:32 instead of lookingin the mirror.
2756 01:49:33 Aaron is playingthe blame game.
2757 01:49:35 Thank you, Marv.
2758 01:49:37 BRODERICK: I bet you'renot the easiest person
2759 01:49:38 to have a relationship with.
2760 01:49:39 Broderick, cuttingdeep with his insights.
2761 01:49:41 He is on fire.
2762 01:49:43 His best worksince WarGames.
2763 01:49:45 AARON: You guysdon't understand.
2764 01:49:46 I tried. She didn'twant to be a part of it.
2765 01:49:48 You can't just runwhen you get scared.
2766 01:49:49 AARON: She pushed me away.
2767 01:49:51 Aaron is fearingengulfment and intimacy.
2768 01:49:53 You know what?
2769 01:49:54 You're not helpful, you're nothelpful, you're not helpful.
2770 01:49:57 And you are really not helpful, Marv.Really not helpful!
2771 01:50:00 Marv Albert apologizes.
2772 01:50:02 All right. BRODERICK: Wait a minute.No, wait, wait. Wait, Aaron.
2773 01:50:05 Before you go, can youtake a look at my hip?
2774 01:50:09 Are you serious?There's a popping sound,
2775 01:50:10 and it doesn't go away.(POPS)
2776 01:50:12 Yeah, when I walk.Anytime I walk.
2777 01:50:15 I can hear it. I'll see youat the office, all right?
2778 01:50:16 Bye.
2779 01:50:17 LEBRON: Aaron.Goodbye, LeBron.
2780 01:50:19 Aaron!
2781 01:50:20 I thought you said hewould look at my hip.
2782 01:50:22 Yeah, if thingswould've went better.
2783 01:50:27 (DOORBELL RINGING)
2784 01:50:41 Hi.
2785 01:50:43 Hey.
2786 01:50:47 KIM: This isn't workingfor you anymore.
2787 01:50:52 I know.
2788 01:50:54 I'm sorry.
2789 01:50:57 I know you're sorry.
2790 01:50:59 No.
2791 01:51:01 No, I'm really sorry.
2792 01:51:05 I want you to know that I act
2793 01:51:11 like everythingyou do in your life
2794 01:51:13 is so wrong and stupid.
2795 01:51:16 But it's just because I don'tthink that I can have that.
2796 01:51:22 I'm not okay.
2797 01:51:25 I'm not okay, Kim.
2798 01:51:27 I know what I am,
2799 01:51:30 I know who I am,
2800 01:51:34 and I'm broken.
2801 01:51:38 Mother, Dad needs you.
2802 01:51:40 KIM: We're talkingright now. What's going on?
2803 01:51:42 I don't know,he's just yelling.
2804 01:51:45 KIM: Okay. Is it okay?
2805 01:51:47 Yeah.
2806 01:51:58 What you got there?
2807 01:52:01 My drawingsfor Minecraft.
2808 01:52:05 For what?
2809 01:52:06 Minecraft.
2810 01:52:08 It's a game where you canbuild a whole virtual world,
2811 01:52:12 and put whateveryou want in it,
2812 01:52:14 and make it big orsmall or whatever.
2813 01:52:19 Let me see.Yeah.
2814 01:52:21 AMY: If it's a video game,why is it in a notebook?
2815 01:52:23 Oh, I draw it outfirst to plan it,
2816 01:52:27 so I know what to buildand what to put in it
2817 01:52:31 instead of justwinging it.
2818 01:52:34 What's this?
2819 01:52:36 Oh, this is our house.
2820 01:52:37 Here's my bedroom,here's the baby's room.
2821 01:52:41 What's that rectangle?
2822 01:52:43 It's the mattress for you and Aaronto stay in once the baby's born.
2823 01:52:49 That's for me?
2824 01:52:51 You and Aaron. Yeah.
2825 01:52:54 That's really cool,Allister.
2826 01:52:56 Thank you.
2827 01:52:57 But you know what?I don't think
2828 01:52:58 Aaron's gonna bearound much anymore.
2829 01:53:00 So...
2830 01:53:02 Oh. You don'tlike him anymore.
2831 01:53:06 I like him morethan anybody.
2832 01:53:07 He's my best friend.
2833 01:53:10 Then we shouldhave him come over.
2834 01:53:17 Yeah. Yeah.
2835 01:53:20 We should.
2836 01:53:25 The baby'sroom is pink.
2837 01:53:27 It's a girl?
2838 01:53:30 It's a girl!(LAUGHING)
2839 01:53:32 That's amazing.
2840 01:53:34 Congrats.That's so cool.
2841 01:53:36 No, it's not.
2842 01:53:38 It's not. It's the worstthing in the world.
2843 01:53:40 It really sucks.She's doomed.
2844 01:53:42 No, she'll be fine.
2845 01:53:45 She's got us.She'll be fine.
2846 01:53:48 I miss Dad, too.
2847 01:53:51 I know that.Come here.
2848 01:53:57 AMY: I got you.
2849 01:53:59 (KIM AND AMY LAUGHING)
2850 01:54:01 AMY: I'm uncomfortable.
2851 01:54:04 (ALL LAUGHING)
2852 01:54:05 KIM: Receive.
2853 01:54:06 Receive the love.
2854 01:54:07 Get out of here!
2855 01:54:09 Too much intimacy.
2856 01:54:11 Love overload.
2857 01:54:12 I'm exiting this hug.
2858 01:54:28 NOAM: Urban Outfitter,help me out.
2859 01:54:29 AMY: Hey, Noam.
2860 01:54:30 NOAM: What's up, Amy?AMY: A gift.
2861 01:54:32 Booze, pot, drugs,and a place to live!
2862 01:54:36 Amy, you arethe best.
2863 01:54:38 You got it, man.
2864 01:54:39 Oh, God, I gottagive you something.
2865 01:54:40 How about a reach-around?No, it's okay.
2866 01:54:42 Oh, I don't need a reach-around.Thanks, man.
2867 01:54:45 "The most important play of theseason is about to take place
2868 01:54:48 "and there isn't a scoreboard,fan, or cheerleader in sight.
2869 01:54:52 "The man on the spotis Aaron Conners.
2870 01:54:55 "And his arenais a silent, antiseptic
2871 01:54:57 "operating room ona Tuesday morning
2872 01:54:59 "where he's about to sewAmar'e Stoudemire's
2873 01:55:01 "battered $20 millionknee together.
2874 01:55:05 "Time is ticking.
2875 01:55:06 "Pressure buildsand he goes for it.
2876 01:55:09 "I, on the other hand,just woke up.
2877 01:55:11 "Still drunk with driedcheese under my fingernails
2878 01:55:14 "leading me to believethat I ordered fries
2879 01:55:16 "before passingout on the floor."
2880 01:55:20 "Life hurts.
2881 01:55:21 "But spending timewith Dr. Conners
2882 01:55:22 "showed me that youcan't play scared.
2883 01:55:24 "And maybe everydrunken night,
2884 01:55:26 "accidental ride onthe Staten Island Ferry
2885 01:55:29 "and awkward sexual encounterwere just practice for this...
2886 01:55:32 "The main event."
2887 01:55:37 MARV: Since the beginningof training camp,
2888 01:55:39 Knick fans have wondered
2889 01:55:41 when do they get backtheir number one?
2890 01:55:43 Well, the answer is tonight.
2891 01:55:45 Amar'e Stoudemire is backin action for the Knicks.
2892 01:55:56 Hi, everybody.I'm Marv Albert
2893 01:55:57 and welcome to sold-outMadison Square Garden
2894 01:56:00 where Knicks fans areholding their breath
2895 01:56:02 to see if Amar'e Stoudemire's
2896 01:56:04 surgically repaired kneewill bring new hope
2897 01:56:07 as they tip off another season
2898 01:56:09 looking to get backinto the playoff picture.
2899 01:56:12 It's the Knicks and the Nets,coming up next.
2900 01:56:17 How you doing, man?You doing good?
2901 01:56:19 I'm gonna askyou a question.
2902 01:56:20 How are you feeling?How's the knee feeling?
2903 01:56:21 Feels good.Feels great.
2904 01:56:23 It's okay?It's awesome.
2905 01:56:24 Taxi!
2906 01:56:29 Taxi!
2907 01:56:30 What is going on?
2908 01:56:31 MARV: Amar'e Stoudemireis checking in.
2909 01:56:34 And it is a standing ovation.
2910 01:56:37 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) ANNOUNCER:Introducing, for the Knicks
2911 01:56:41 number one...
2912 01:56:42 Amar'e Stoudemire.
2913 01:57:01 (BRAKES SCREECH)
2914 01:57:06 Why are we stopped?
2915 01:57:08 Sometimes on theseshort trains, you know,
2916 01:57:10 it doesn't touchthat third rail.
2917 01:57:12 You know, wherethe electricity is?
2918 01:57:13 So the redsignal comes on
2919 01:57:15 and the powerjust shuts off.
2920 01:57:16 Really?
2921 01:57:17 No, not really.I don't fucking know.
2922 01:57:18 Do I look likeI work for MTA?
2923 01:57:21 I don't know.
2924 01:57:22 What, I got MetroCardsin my fucking purse now?
2925 01:57:23 What the fuck, man?
2926 01:57:25 You ask mesome stupid shit.
2927 01:57:27 I'm sorry.I don't work here.
2928 01:57:28 Don't lean into me.
2929 01:57:30 MA RV: Pierce,off the drive.
2930 01:57:31 It is blocked by Stoudemire!
2931 01:57:34 And he comes up with the ball.
2932 01:57:36 Under four to playhere in the first.
2933 01:57:38 Smith. Finding Stoudemire!
2934 01:57:41 Beautiful play!That gets the crowd going.
2935 01:58:01 Hey, Dr. Gunners.
2936 01:58:02 Oh. Hey.
2937 01:58:03 Amar'e lookedgreat tonight.
2938 01:58:04 Yeah, he did.I'm happy for him.
2939 01:58:06 Actually, he'slooking for you.
2940 01:58:07 He said to meethim out on court.
2941 01:58:08 On court?Yeah.
2942 01:58:09 Right now?Right now.
2943 01:58:11 Okay.
2944 01:58:29 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
2945 01:58:48 Amy?
2946 01:59:29 You're really good!
2947 01:59:45 (UPTOWN GIRL PLAYING)
2948 02:00:21 Hey.
2949 02:00:30 (MOUTHING)
2950 02:00:48 Come here.
2951 02:00:49 Hey.Hi.
2952 02:00:51 I'm sorry.
2953 02:00:52 No, no, no. I'm sorry. No.
2954 02:00:53 You were really,really good.
2955 02:00:55 As it turns out, lam interrible physical shape.
2956 02:00:57 Yeah, I saw that.Could you see that?
2957 02:00:59 I am sweating more thanI am proud of. Yeah.
2958 02:01:02 No, no. I know. Hey.
2959 02:01:04 What?
2960 02:01:05 I really missed you.I missed you.
2961 02:01:08 (SONG CHANGES)
2962 02:01:09 Oh, shit. I haveto dance more.
2963 02:01:11 What?
2964 02:01:13 Amy, you reallydon't need to do that.
2965 02:01:15 Why is there a mat?
2966 02:01:18 Oh, shit. These guys.
2967 02:01:25 Jeez!
2968 02:01:29 AARON: No.
2969 02:01:30 No, no, no.Amy! Amy!
2970 02:01:32 Bad idea!
2971 02:01:37 AARON: Honey!Honey! No! No!
2972 02:01:40 No! Amy!
2973 02:01:41 No!
2974 02:01:46 (MUSIC STOPS)
2975 02:01:50 Amy? Amy? Am)'-
2976 02:01:53 Honey. You okay?(GAS PS)
2977 02:01:54 Did I get it?
2978 02:01:56 Did you getthe basket?
2979 02:01:57 Did it go in?
2980 02:01:58 Oh, of course not.
2981 02:01:59 You didn't getenough height.
2982 02:02:01 No?No.
2983 02:02:02 I thought I gota lot of height.
2984 02:02:03 No, no. Zero height.
2985 02:02:05 No height, huh?
2986 02:02:06 Usually when people hittrampolines they go high,
2987 02:02:09 but, for some reason,you went down.
2988 02:02:11 You went straightdown. Hard.
2989 02:02:13 I really wantedto impress you.
2990 02:02:15 Yeah?Yeah.
2991 02:02:16 I wanted to showyou I can work hard
2992 02:02:17 and put myselfout there, you know?
2993 02:02:19 I got that.
2994 02:02:21 And not beafraid to fail.
2995 02:02:22 No. I got the metaphor.
2996 02:02:23 'Cause with the dance,I wanted to show you us.
2997 02:02:25 Yeah, I got the metaphor.
2998 02:02:27 It's like I really wanna try.Yeah.
2999 02:02:29 I wanna try with you.
3000 02:02:32 I wanna try, too.
3001 02:02:34 I love you.
3002 02:02:36 Yeah?
3003 02:02:37 Yeah.
3004 02:02:38 I love you, too, Amy.
3005 02:02:45 CHEERLEADERSI Aw!
3006 02:02:46 (ALL CHEERING)