乌龙特工(Central Intelligence)(EN)Subtitles

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1 00:01:16 And now, it's time for a breakdown.
2 00:01:39 Mmm, mmm, mmm, yeah...
3 00:01:42 Man, I told you Robbie Wheirdichtshowers here during first period.
4 00:01:45 Why doesn't he just shower at homelike a normal person?
5 00:01:48 Look at him.
6 00:01:50 Does anything about thatlook normal to you?
7 00:01:53 You know, he's actuallya pretty good dancer.
8 00:01:59 I mean, fuck that guy is different!
9 00:02:04 Let's wreck him.
10 00:02:05 Hey, Weird Dick!
11 00:02:08 Come on.
12 00:02:10 Finally, young ladies and young gentlemen,
13 00:02:11 it is my pleasureto announce that the winner
14 00:02:16 of the National High SchoolStudent of the Year Award
15 00:02:19 is none other than your very own
16 00:02:20 two-time student body president,
17 00:02:23 the captain ofCentral High's All Valley track team,
18 00:02:26 president of the drama club
19 00:02:28 and the senior voted"Most Likely to Succeed."
20 00:02:32 I gotta tell you folks,after 40 years as an educator,
21 00:02:34 he is my favorite student.
22 00:02:37 I wish he were my son
23 00:02:38 if I were medically able to have children.
24 00:02:42 He's everybody'sfavorite all-around guy...
25 00:02:45 Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner! Come on!
26 00:03:09 Golden Jet! Golden Jet! Golden Jet!
27 00:03:13 Oh, my goodness.
28 00:03:15 Wow! Wow, guys.
29 00:03:17 Hey! How about a handfor Principal Kent, huh?
30 00:03:20 Huh?
31 00:03:22 Honestly, if my momwas into white guys, it would be you.
32 00:03:24 I know it would, okay?
33 00:03:28 Well, as we all know,this is our last assembly,
34 00:03:31 which means this is the last timein front of you guys
35 00:03:34 that I'll be able to tellthe most beautiful girl in the world...
36 00:03:37 I'm talking about you, Maggie Johnson,
37 00:03:40 that I love you. I love you, baby. I do.
38 00:03:43 I'm gonna put it in my pocket.
39 00:03:45 I'll save it.
40 00:03:47 Okay.
41 00:03:49 All right, guys. We're seniors now.
42 00:03:52 And once we get those diplomas,
43 00:03:55 the decisions that we make after thatare all up to us.
44 00:03:58 I don't know what pathlife is gonna take me on.
45 00:04:01 But I can promise you all this...
46 00:04:02 That I, for one, will push myself
47 00:04:04 at every stage, at every step.
48 00:04:06 So, I got one question to ask.
49 00:04:09 I got one question forthe graduating class of 1996
50 00:04:12 and that's "Will you..."
51 00:04:15 Check out my Weird Dick!
52 00:04:41 Hey. Here, here, man.
53 00:04:45 Thank you.
54 00:05:03 Well, there's no coming back from that.
55 00:05:07 Calvin Joyner, everybody,
56 00:05:09 voted "Most Likely to Succeed."
57 00:05:12 Golden Jet! Golden Jet! Golden Jet!
58 00:06:05 Yo. Check it.
59 00:06:07 Oh, come on, man.I don't want to see that.
60 00:06:09 Oh, no, no, it's my dick.
61 00:06:10 I know what it is. I don't want to see it.
62 00:06:12 Hilarious.
63 00:06:13 No, I'm working on this new sexting app.
64 00:06:15 It's kind of like Instagram, right?
65 00:06:16 But, instead of filters,
66 00:06:17 it just makes your junk look huge.
67 00:06:19 Like, three to six inches bigger.
68 00:06:21 It's called "Junk Mail." Clever, right?
69 00:06:24 - No, and here's why...- Sorry, hang on, one second.
70 00:06:26 I'm just gonna...
71 00:06:28 What are you doing?
72 00:06:33 Okay, and send.
73 00:06:37 Sorry, you were saying something boring.
74 00:06:38 You just sent a dick pic.
75 00:06:40 It's called dating, grandma. Look it up.
76 00:06:41 Why are you all cranky-pantsthis morning, huh?
77 00:06:44 Oh. It's because Ethan got promotedinstead of you?
78 00:06:47 Ethan got promoted?
79 00:06:49 Youngest senior associatein the history of the firm.
80 00:06:51 Corner office, the whole deal.
81 00:06:53 Didn't he used to be your assistant?
82 00:06:55 Who cares? Hey, you shouldcome to lunch with us.
83 00:06:58 We're gonna be celebrating his pro-mosh!
84 00:06:59 It'll probably be good for youto kiss the ring a bit.
85 00:07:02 "Kiss the ring a bit"?
86 00:07:03 Hey, you play your chessboardhowever you like, okay?
87 00:07:06 Me, lunch today?I'm gonna French kiss that thing.
88 00:07:09 Aah...
89 00:07:11 I can't. I'm taking my wifeto lunch today, so...
90 00:07:14 All right. Bummer for you.
91 00:07:20 Right?
92 00:07:23 Can you just get out of my face?
93 00:07:25 # Blessed.
94 00:07:37 To a guy I not only consider my coworker,
95 00:07:40 but my personal friend.
96 00:07:42 - To Ethan!- Cheers!
97 00:07:46 Do you wanna move tables?I know this kind of sucks.
98 00:07:48 No, no. It doesn't suck.
99 00:07:50 Hey, if I wanted to getone of those ice teas
100 00:07:52 but I want most of it to be bourbon...What is that called?
101 00:07:54 Okay. How about we change the topicto something a little more fun?
102 00:07:58 Anything else, please.
103 00:08:00 Oh, how about...
104 00:08:01 This is the dressthat I'm thinking about wearing.
105 00:08:04 Oh!
106 00:08:05 Honey, I want every single girlto be jealous tomorrow night.
107 00:08:08 Oh.
108 00:08:09 What?
109 00:08:11 I just... I just don't want to go.
110 00:08:12 Calvin, it's our 20-yearhigh school reunion.
111 00:08:14 I'm not gonna go without you.
112 00:08:16 We agreed we were going. I RSVP'd for us.
113 00:08:18 I just changed my mind. That's all.
114 00:08:21 Okay. I see.
115 00:08:22 You're disappointedabout the promotion. I get it.
116 00:08:25 This is not about the promotion.
117 00:08:27 Okay, this has to do with menot wanting to spend my Friday night
118 00:08:30 answering the"What are you doing now?" question.
119 00:08:32 That's what I'll get all night.
120 00:08:33 "Hey, Calvin, what are you doing now?""I'm an accountant."
121 00:08:35 "An accountant? Really?
122 00:08:36 "I thought you would be the governor, man.
123 00:08:38 "Wait a minute. Didn't you get voted'Most Likely to Succeed'?
124 00:08:40 "I guess we missed that one."
125 00:08:42 Is this why you've beenso weird and moody lately?
126 00:08:43 'Cause you're freaking outabout the reunion?
127 00:08:45 - No.- And what's the matter
128 00:08:46 with being an accountant?You love your job.
129 00:08:48 No, you love your job.
130 00:08:49 I'm good at my job.It's not the same thing.
131 00:08:51 Honey, that's not fair.
132 00:08:52 You're a partner at your firm.
133 00:08:54 Instead, I work in a building with a giant,inflatable gorilla out in front of it.
134 00:08:58 Look, I don't want to bethe guy that peaked in high school
135 00:09:00 and, after he peaked,his life went like this...
136 00:09:05 I don't know the soundthat that thing makes,
137 00:09:06 but you know what I'm trying to do.
138 00:09:08 I'm the guy that went down, okay?
139 00:09:09 - Yeah.- Then my life
140 00:09:10 down here became a disappointment.
141 00:09:12 That's what I'll be.
142 00:09:13 Wow.
143 00:09:15 What?
144 00:09:16 I had no idea that your life with me wassuch a soundless, crashing disappointment!
145 00:09:20 Don't do that.
146 00:09:22 - That's not... Don't do that.- That's the sound.
147 00:09:24 You want to know the soundI'm about to make right now?
148 00:09:26 The sound of me not going.
149 00:09:27 That's the sound I'm making.
150 00:09:30 I'm not going.
151 00:09:34 Yeah.
152 00:09:44 Mmm-mmm-mmm.
153 00:09:52 No.
154 00:09:54 Not going to that.
155 00:10:04 Bob Stone?
156 00:10:15 Okay.
157 00:10:27 Hello?
158 00:10:28 - Hey.- Girl, you scared me.
159 00:10:31 - I did?- Yes. I thought that you were...
160 00:10:34 I just... On the...
161 00:10:37 Never mind. Hey, I'm glad you called.
162 00:10:40 I'm sorry about lunch today.
163 00:10:43 I'm an idiot, babe.
164 00:10:44 I don't even knowwhat's going on with me right now.
165 00:10:46 - I really don't.- Yeah?
166 00:10:47 Actually, honey,
167 00:10:50 that's what I was callingto talk to you about.
168 00:10:52 Look, honey, I think thatwe should see someone.
169 00:10:56 What do you mean, "Someone"?What do you mean?
170 00:10:59 See someone, like a therapist.
171 00:11:02 Honey, black people don't go to therapy.
172 00:11:05 We go to barbershops.
173 00:11:06 That's where we talk out our problems.
174 00:11:08 Or we watch the movie Barbershop.One or the other.
175 00:11:10 Look, my parents were really unhappy
176 00:11:12 for a long time before they got divorced.
177 00:11:14 And maybe if they saw someone sooner,they would still be married.
178 00:11:19 I just want to nip this thing in the bud,whatever it is.
179 00:11:21 I don't want to end up like my parents.
180 00:11:24 Wassup?
181 00:11:33 Please, just do it for me, if not for you.
182 00:11:36 All right. Uh...
183 00:11:38 - When? When do you want to do it?- Really?
184 00:11:42 The doctor saidhe could see us at 6:00 p.m.
185 00:11:44 Um... 6:00 p.m., when? Tonight?
186 00:11:47 Yeah. Yeah, is that a problem?
187 00:11:49 Holy shit! Robbie Wheirdicht?
188 00:11:54 Calvin, honey? Hello?
189 00:11:57 Um, yeah.
190 00:11:58 I can't. I alreadymade plans for tonight, baby.
191 00:12:01 - Plans with who?- With Bob Stone.
192 00:12:04 Who's Bob Stone?That sounds like a fake name.
193 00:12:06 No, no. You rememberRobbie Wheirdicht, from high school?
194 00:12:09 No.
195 00:12:11 The guy who got beaten upby Trisha Demarco at homecoming?
196 00:12:13 No.
197 00:12:14 The kid that tried to rap along toCoolio's 1,2,3,4 at the talent show
198 00:12:16 but then he kinda lost his way,midway through
199 00:12:18 so he just started bopping his head,and he stood there?
200 00:12:20 No. Nothing.
201 00:12:22 The guy who got thrown out the gym,butt-ass-naked, senior year?
202 00:12:24 Oh, my God, yeah!
203 00:12:25 Why wouldn't you start with that?
204 00:12:27 Because I thought that was kind of mean.I don't know.
205 00:12:29 He never came backto school after that, right?
206 00:12:30 Like, not for finalsor graduation or anything.
207 00:12:33 Didn't he join the military or something?
208 00:12:35 I'm not sure. I don't know if he did or not,but he changed his name to "Bob Stone"
209 00:12:39 and apparently he's in townfor the high school reunion.
210 00:12:42 He wants to go to dinner tonight,and I kinda already said "yes."
211 00:12:44 - Okay.- If you want me to cancel,
212 00:12:45 I will. You know?
213 00:12:47 If that's what you want, I don't mind.
214 00:12:49 Mmm-mmm. I mean,it's a little weird, but whatever.
215 00:12:51 I'll just see if the doctorcan fit us in tomorrow.
216 00:12:53 - How about at lunch time?- Okay. All right, fine.
217 00:12:56 Okay, good. I love you.
218 00:12:57 I love you, too, babe. I do.
219 00:13:04 - Oh, my...- What is that?
220 00:13:06 - Okay.- Calvin? Are you...
221 00:13:07 Love you. Bye-bye.
222 00:13:12 No!
223 00:13:13 Stop, stop!
224 00:13:15 Hey, man. I...
225 00:13:16 Hey! What's up, guys?
226 00:13:19 Congratulations on that promotion, man.
227 00:13:21 It's quite the thing.
228 00:13:23 Thank you.Hey, that's not work appropriate.
229 00:13:26 Yup.
230 00:13:27 Not cool, man. Not cool.
231 00:13:32 Hey, forward that to me.
232 00:13:45 For real man, seriously?
233 00:13:47 Yeah. Watch it, punk.
234 00:13:51 Excuse you, too.
235 00:14:12 My man!
236 00:14:13 Back the fuck up!
237 00:14:15 - Whoa!- Back up, man!
238 00:14:17 Fine. I'll give you these fists.
239 00:14:19 I'll fist your ass.
240 00:14:21 Calvin. It's me, Bob.
241 00:14:23 What? Sorry, do I know you?
242 00:14:26 Do you know...
243 00:14:27 Robbie Wheirdicht from high school!
244 00:14:31 Are you kidding? What?
245 00:14:33 - Wait, you're Robbie Wheirdicht?- Yeah!
246 00:14:37 God, man, look at you!You've lost, like, 200 pounds!
247 00:14:39 I see you gained it back in muscle.
248 00:14:41 Oh, my God! You look great!
249 00:14:43 - No, you look great!- Stop it.
250 00:14:45 No, you haven't changedsince high school, dude!
251 00:14:48 No, you're just sexy as dick right now.
252 00:14:51 You don't look somebodyin the eyes and say that.
253 00:14:53 Hey, let's get hammered.
254 00:14:55 I got an early day at work,so I'll probably...
255 00:14:57 No, come on, I'm buying!
256 00:14:58 Oh, shit.
257 00:15:00 Mmm.
258 00:15:01 I'm sorry, man. I am blown away right now.
259 00:15:04 Dude, you used to be Fat Robbie.
260 00:15:06 Look at you!This is like a total transformation.
261 00:15:09 You look like Hercules or somebody.
262 00:15:10 What did you do? Come on, give it to me.
263 00:15:12 - I didn't do much, really.- Stop it.
264 00:15:14 All right. I just did one thing.
265 00:15:17 Come on, I need to know.
266 00:15:18 I worked out six hours a day, every day,
267 00:15:21 for the last 20 years straight.
268 00:15:24 - I mean, anybody can do it, right?- Yeah.
269 00:15:27 Yeah. You know, I've gotten into hot yoga.
270 00:15:33 I started doing some sessions.
271 00:15:34 Uh-huh.
272 00:15:37 Nice unicorn, man.
273 00:15:38 Oh, yeah, I'm big-time into 'corns.
274 00:15:41 So magical, right?
275 00:15:42 You know, they're the mostlethal animal on the planet.
276 00:15:44 Here you go.
277 00:15:46 Guys, my name's Lexi.
278 00:15:48 Just let me know if you need anything.
279 00:15:49 Okay.
280 00:15:51 I mean, like, anything at all.
281 00:15:54 Okie-dokie.
282 00:15:56 You're funny. Do you ever, like, Snapchat?
283 00:15:59 - Oh, no. You know...- I wasn't talking to you.
284 00:16:03 No, no, no. I don't do that.
285 00:16:04 I'm just catching upwith an old friend from high school.
286 00:16:07 Aw. You're so sweet.
287 00:16:11 I think unicorns are sexy, too.
288 00:16:14 That must happen to youall the time, right?
289 00:16:17 Ah, nah.
290 00:16:18 I mean, all that meaningless sex is just...
291 00:16:20 It's not my bag anymore, CJ.
292 00:16:23 No, now, I'm looking formore of an emotional connection.
293 00:16:25 The next woman I lay with,
294 00:16:27 she's gonna be beautiful on the inside,
295 00:16:29 just as much as she is on the outside.
296 00:16:31 Hey, wait. Whatever happened to thatgirl that you liked in high school?
297 00:16:34 Oh, God, man. The "Doogie Howser" girl.
298 00:16:37 She was 14, but somehow she was a senior.
299 00:16:39 She wore a cape.
300 00:16:40 - Darla McGuckian.- Darla McGuckian.
301 00:16:43 "Yucky Gucky."
302 00:16:45 - Didn't she have a lazy eye or something?- Two of 'em.
303 00:16:48 Right.
304 00:16:49 Hey, but listen,I don't wanna talk about me.
305 00:16:50 I wanna talk about you.
306 00:16:51 I heard thatyou and Maggie Johnson got hitched.
307 00:16:53 Oh, yeah.
308 00:16:54 Yeah, man, right after college.
309 00:16:56 Wow! The prettiest girl in school,and the coolest guy in school!
310 00:17:00 Oh, man, I got lucky.
311 00:17:01 I mean, you guys are likea power couple, dude!
312 00:17:02 - No, no.- Yes!
313 00:17:04 You're like Taylor Swiftand whoever she's dating right now.
314 00:17:07 - Power.- Uh, thanks!
315 00:17:10 Yeah. You guys got kids?
316 00:17:11 No. No kids yet.
317 00:17:13 We planned on it after college,
318 00:17:15 but Maggie went to law school,I kept changing jobs.
319 00:17:18 You know, having kids justisn't in our cards right now.
320 00:17:22 Not at this point, that's all.
321 00:17:23 - Oh, okay.- Yeah.
322 00:17:24 I don't wanna talk aboutme and Maggie and myself.
323 00:17:28 What about you? What are you doing?
324 00:17:29 I didn't even ask you, man.What do you do for work?
325 00:17:32 I'm a government contractor.
326 00:17:33 Okay, that's cool.Like, what, buildings and stuff?
327 00:17:37 Yeah, sort of.
328 00:17:39 But I kinda just got fired.
329 00:17:40 - Oh, shit! I'm sorry, man.- Oh, it's okay.
330 00:17:42 Screw those guys, anyway.They're way too corporate.
331 00:17:45 'Cause dudes like me and you,I mean, we're alpha dogs, right?
332 00:17:48 I mean, we're pathfindersand trailblazers.
333 00:17:50 And we don't listento what anyone tells us, right?
334 00:17:54 - Yeah, right.- Yeah.
335 00:17:56 I mean, come on, man,I sorta path-find a little bit
336 00:18:01 along certain preapproved parametersthat are given to me.
337 00:18:05 I'm willing to path-findbut it's all about how it's set up.
338 00:18:08 But within the box that I have, I go nuts.You'll be surprised.
339 00:18:13 I had a guy tell me the other day,
340 00:18:14 "Hey, Calvin, you know,I need those accounting numbers back
341 00:18:17 "from, you know, the file."
342 00:18:19 - I said, "Go fuck yourself, Jim."- Yeah.
343 00:18:22 I didn't say itbecause I wasn't in my box,
344 00:18:26 - but I thought about it.- Exactly! Yeah! Yeah!
345 00:18:30 I got an idea. Let's do shots!
346 00:18:31 No!
347 00:18:33 I'm sorry for saying it like that, but no.
348 00:18:34 I haven't had shotsin almost 10 years, man.
349 00:18:36 What? Come on, we have to!We're celebrating!
350 00:18:40 Celebrating what?
351 00:18:41 Celebrating that I'm hangingwith the coolest kid in high school.
352 00:18:43 - Stop it.- Calvin Joyner!
353 00:18:45 The Golden Jet.
354 00:18:48 You got to be shitting me. Wow!
355 00:18:52 I haven't... God!
356 00:18:54 It's been forever since I heard that, man!
357 00:18:56 - I'll do one.- All right!
358 00:18:58 - One shot.- Shots!
359 00:18:59 No. One shot.
360 00:19:00 Just one, okay? Bob, it's been a while.
361 00:19:03 Oh, shit! You remember this?
362 00:19:05 This was the jammy-jam!
363 00:19:06 What's that? Is that a fanny pack, Bob?
364 00:19:09 Hell, yeah! Dude, you want one?
365 00:19:10 No, it's okay.
366 00:19:12 I got two at home. I'll hook you up.
367 00:19:13 Leather pack for The Jet.
368 00:19:16 Fanny!
369 00:19:17 Shit.
370 00:19:19 What the hell did I get myself into?
371 00:19:21 Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm.
372 00:19:23 Hey, sir, somebody'sactually sitting there.
373 00:19:26 - Yeah, someone was.- No! Hey, man!
374 00:19:29 Hey, you don't seethe sweatshirt right here?
375 00:19:30 - Man, somebody's sitting here.- Move your meat, lose your seat.
376 00:19:33 Dude, you don'thave to be a dick about it.
377 00:19:34 Somebody's sitting in the chair.
378 00:19:36 Bro, are you seriouslygonna go there, bro?
379 00:19:39 'Cause there's only one way back, bro.
380 00:19:41 Through intensive care, bro.
381 00:19:45 Was that the last "bro"?'Cause if it was, then I'll talk.
382 00:19:47 That supposed to be funny?
383 00:19:49 - Dude...- You a comedian now?
384 00:19:51 'Cause you don't look likeDane Cook to me, bro.
385 00:19:53 Hey, now!
386 00:19:55 What's the rumpus?
387 00:19:56 You know... There's no problem, man.
388 00:19:58 Let's just go to another table.Get your jacket. Let's go.
389 00:20:00 - No, we're not gonna go anywhere.- Listen to your pussy friend.
390 00:20:02 Those gym musclesaren't scaring anybody, pal.
391 00:20:05 - Oh, these?- Let's just go. It's okay.
392 00:20:07 No, we're not gonna go.This man insulted you.
393 00:20:10 And we're not gonna leaveuntil he apologizes.
394 00:20:12 - It's okay.- Hey, we got a problem here?
395 00:20:14 - No, no.- Yeah, we got a big problem.
396 00:20:16 Your friend, here,really insulted my friend
397 00:20:19 and he needs to apologize.
398 00:20:20 I don't think he does.
399 00:20:21 He doesn't.
400 00:20:22 Oh, you know what, man?
401 00:20:25 I think this whole situation'sgetting a little out of control.
402 00:20:27 I can fix this whole thing.
403 00:20:28 I'll order some nachos. The "Explosions."
404 00:20:31 It's got four cheeses!Let's eat 'em together.
405 00:20:33 You know what? You take them.
406 00:20:35 Let's go.
407 00:20:36 Nah. We're not going anywhere, Jet.
408 00:20:37 This whole thing will be over in a jiff.
409 00:20:39 Hey, how about this?
410 00:20:40 Why don't you and your boyfriendapologize to Big Rick here
411 00:20:43 and then go jerk each otherin the parking lot?
412 00:20:46 That's a lot...
413 00:20:47 Yeah. You're right, CJ.
414 00:20:48 That's a lot of homophobiacoming out of a very angry man.
415 00:20:51 You need to go get that looked atby a trained professional.
416 00:20:53 But, since you haveescalated this whole scenario
417 00:20:56 by bringing what I can only assume
418 00:20:57 is an unlicensed firearminto this public place,
419 00:21:00 endangering the livesof all these innocent people,
420 00:21:02 I can no longer,in good conscience, walk away
421 00:21:05 and jerk anyone off in the parking lot.
422 00:21:07 I'm afraid we ain't going anywhere.
423 00:21:09 It's time for you to get out of here, pal.
424 00:21:11 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
425 00:21:13 There's four of us, tough guy.
426 00:21:16 Yeah. I got that.
427 00:21:18 All right. Before this whole thing goes down,you should know one thing about me.
428 00:21:21 What's that?
429 00:21:26 I don't like bullies.
430 00:21:38 Let's go, Jet.
431 00:21:41 Yes.
432 00:21:43 Oh, my God! I hope he's Catholic.
433 00:21:49 Oh, my God!
434 00:21:51 What the hell was that?
435 00:21:52 Bob, that was amazing!I've never seen anything like that!
436 00:21:54 You took the one guy,you hit him like this.
437 00:21:56 He couldn't breathe.
438 00:21:57 I sat there, I'm looking at him...
439 00:21:59 You talkin' to him like,"I don't like bullies."
440 00:22:00 I was like, "That's not a good line."But it was!
441 00:22:02 I didn't even know you could fight!
442 00:22:03 You had a unicorn shirt, a fanny pack,and it totally worked!
443 00:22:06 You were like Jason Bourne,man, but with jorts!
444 00:22:09 How did you do that?Where'd you learn that stuff?
445 00:22:11 I took a couple classes at work.
446 00:22:13 I hope I didn't go too far.
447 00:22:15 I'm sorry about ruining the night, Jet.
448 00:22:16 Ruin my night?No! It was the coolest thing ever, man!
449 00:22:19 - Really?- Yes!
450 00:22:21 To see my boy go in and whoop asson those idiots back there.
451 00:22:23 Dude, that was amazing!
452 00:22:24 Wait, we're boys?
453 00:22:27 Yeah, we boys.
454 00:22:30 Wow. I...
455 00:22:33 Never had a boy.
456 00:22:36 - That's awesome! Come here!- Oh, wait.
457 00:22:39 Stop. What's going on, man?
458 00:22:41 - I'm a hugger!- What're you doing?
459 00:22:44 Hey! I got an idea.Let's roll. Here's my bike.
460 00:22:48 Wait. That's your bike?
461 00:22:50 Yeah. Kawasaki 800!
462 00:22:52 I know what the bike is.
463 00:22:53 I had the same bike in high school, man.
464 00:22:55 - You still ride?- No, man.
465 00:22:57 I haven't ridden a bike in years!
466 00:22:58 Come on, let's roll.
467 00:23:02 Where? Where you trying to go?
468 00:23:04 I know the perfect spot. Come on, Jet.
469 00:23:08 You know, why not? Why not?
470 00:23:10 After this... Yeah, okay!
471 00:23:12 Let's roll.
472 00:23:15 Whoa, whoa, whoa!Hey, Bob! Slow, slow, slow!
473 00:23:19 Bob, hey, hey!
474 00:23:26 God, this is so crazy, man.
475 00:23:30 This brings back so many memories.
476 00:23:33 I don't know, CJ.
477 00:23:34 I mean, high schoolwasn't easy for me, man.
478 00:23:36 I don't know if you know this,but I didn't have many friends back then.
479 00:23:39 What?
480 00:23:41 - Really?- No.
481 00:23:42 I don't know why I thought...
482 00:23:44 True story.
483 00:23:45 Man, I thought high schoolwas gonna be like Sixteen Candles
484 00:23:48 and I was gonna be like Molly Ringwald.
485 00:23:50 Sure, things were difficultin the beginning, but then, by the end,
486 00:23:53 everything worked out.
487 00:23:54 And Jake Ryan picked her upin that red Porsche.
488 00:23:56 What-what?
489 00:23:58 You ever see that movie?
490 00:24:00 I'm black, so I don't know the...
491 00:24:02 You gotta see it, dude.
492 00:24:04 Total classic.It's my favorite all-time movie.
493 00:24:07 Then I realized high schoolwas nothing like Sixteen Candles.
494 00:24:11 And I'll never be like Molly Ringwald.
495 00:24:15 Yeah, well, depends on who you ask.
496 00:24:17 That's the thing. For me, I...
497 00:24:20 What's going on?
498 00:24:23 Oh, wow.
499 00:24:26 Hey, man, I just wanna say thatI'm really sorry
500 00:24:27 about what Trevor and those guysdid to you back then.
501 00:24:37 No biggie. I don't eventhink about it anymore. No.
502 00:24:40 Okay, good.
503 00:24:42 Yeah. Here's the secret.You know what I did, Jet?
504 00:24:43 I took all that stuffand I balled it up real tight
505 00:24:46 and then I shoved it way down deep.
506 00:24:49 And I just pretty much ignore it.
507 00:24:51 You know, that soundsreally unhealthy, Bob.
508 00:24:55 Hey, I gotta tell you.
509 00:24:56 You were the only onewho helped me out that day.
510 00:24:58 In the gym? Remember that?
511 00:25:00 And you gave me your letterman's jacket!
512 00:25:02 Hey, not for nothing,but I never got that jacket back, man.
513 00:25:06 Huh!
514 00:25:07 Really? Strange.
515 00:25:10 Hey, but listen, I just wanna thank youfor what you did for me that day.
516 00:25:12 That was really cool of you, Jet.
517 00:25:14 Stop, man.It was the right thing to do, you know?
518 00:25:17 - You wanna hear something weird?- What?
519 00:25:20 I have not been naked since that day.
520 00:25:22 I mean, not in front of anyone.
521 00:25:23 Never.
522 00:25:25 So, you're telling methat for the last 20 years,
523 00:25:26 you've never been seenin your birthday suit?
524 00:25:28 - No.- So, what about when you have sex?
525 00:25:31 I keep it pitch-black,just like Vin Diesel.
526 00:25:33 What?
527 00:25:36 You know I've been wondering,whatever happened to Trevor anyway?
528 00:25:38 Did he get hit by a busor ripped apart by dogs
529 00:25:41 or die slowly of anything?
530 00:25:44 No. No, no.He's a bigtime investment banker downtown.
531 00:25:48 - Oh, hey, cool.- Yeah.
532 00:25:50 Good for him, man.
533 00:25:52 Hey, Bob, look,if you ever wanna talk, I'm here.
534 00:25:55 So I don't mind, you know?
535 00:25:57 I don't mind at all, if you wanna...
536 00:25:58 What?
537 00:26:01 Whoa.
538 00:26:03 This is all our stuff from our year!
539 00:26:06 Yeah. Must be getting readyfor the reunion tomorrow night.
540 00:26:09 Come on, man. Let's get out of here.
541 00:26:10 What? No! "Get out..."Look, you're all over this!
542 00:26:12 Look at this.Basketball, baseball, cross country.
543 00:26:16 Hamlet.
544 00:26:17 Prom King.
545 00:26:19 There's Darla McGuckian.
546 00:26:20 Synchronized swimming, that's so sexy.
547 00:26:22 This is like the Guinness Bookof Golden Jet Records right there.
548 00:26:26 I see that.
549 00:26:29 To be honest with you,I don't even recognize this guy anymore.
550 00:26:32 This guy, here, he was gonna...
551 00:26:34 He was gonna conquer the world.
552 00:26:37 If 18-year-old me could see me now,
553 00:26:39 he'd probably think I was a total loser.
554 00:26:42 What? That's crazy talk!
555 00:26:44 - You're The Golden Jet, dude!- Stop.
556 00:26:45 Stop, Bob. Spare mewith The Golden Jet shit.
557 00:26:49 I'm not The Golden Jet, man.I'm an accountant.
558 00:26:51 That's my reality.
559 00:26:56 I just thoughtI was meant for more, you know?
560 00:26:59 My life would be something special.
561 00:27:03 You know how they say every manis the hero of his own story?
562 00:27:07 Was that in Twilight?
563 00:27:09 No, I don't think that's where it's from.
564 00:27:12 But those books are cool, right? Vampires!
565 00:27:14 And there's a wolf-boy.
566 00:27:16 I'm not... I'm not talkingabout Twilight, Bob, okay?
567 00:27:21 I'm talking about the fact thatI don't feel like
568 00:27:22 I'm the hero of my own story. That's...
569 00:27:24 How are you not the heroof your own story?
570 00:27:26 No one else can be!
571 00:27:28 Yo, CJ, I gotta be honest with you, man.
572 00:27:30 I mean, all this talk about Calvin Joyner
573 00:27:31 not feeling like he's a hero...
574 00:27:33 That's crazy talk, man.
575 00:27:35 No. No, it's not.
576 00:27:37 You were the best thing about high school.
577 00:27:39 I'll always believe in you.
578 00:27:40 Yo, do you rememberthose backflips you used to do?
579 00:27:43 The crowd would go crazy!I was there, too.
580 00:27:45 I was, like, "What? How's he do that?"
581 00:27:47 How did you do that?
582 00:27:50 I don't know. I just did it, man.
583 00:27:52 Exactly.
584 00:27:54 So, do it now.
585 00:27:55 No, no. You're crazy! No.
586 00:27:59 What's that?
587 00:28:00 What're you talking about? What's what?
588 00:28:01 - Golden Jet!- No, stop it.
589 00:28:03 - Golden Jet!- Okay, stop it!
590 00:28:05 - Golden Jet!- All right.
591 00:28:07 Golden Jet!
592 00:28:08 I'm not gonna stop untilyou do The Golden Jet flip!
593 00:28:11 Golden Jet!
594 00:28:12 All right, everybody, settle down.Settle down!
595 00:28:15 If the crowd wants a Golden Jet flip,
596 00:28:17 then they gonna get a Golden Jet flip.
597 00:28:19 You go, girl!
598 00:28:23 Oh, God!
599 00:28:26 That was so close, Jet.
600 00:28:29 Here, buddy. Come on.
601 00:28:32 They must have just waxed these floors.
602 00:28:35 That was definitely a first, man.
603 00:28:39 Oh, man, I am beat.
604 00:28:41 Oh.
605 00:28:44 Hey, Jet!
606 00:28:45 Man, I had a great time tonight.
607 00:28:48 Whoa!
608 00:28:50 You know what?I had a good time, too, man.
609 00:28:52 I feel like I needed this, you know?
610 00:28:54 Yeah. Yeah. Me, too!
611 00:28:56 Thank you.
612 00:28:58 My pleasure, amigo. Any time.
613 00:29:00 Hey, if there's ever anythingI can do for you, just say the word.
614 00:29:04 Wow. You really mean that?
615 00:29:07 Yeah.
616 00:29:08 I wasn't gonna bring it up,but I might as well.
617 00:29:11 Lately, I've been having this problemwith my payroll account. And...
618 00:29:15 It's all screwed up, somehow.
619 00:29:16 You know, I was overseasworking for a while before I got fired.
620 00:29:20 So, it's kinda likea forensic international account thingy
621 00:29:23 which, I think,is kind of your specialty, right?
622 00:29:27 Um...
623 00:29:29 Yeah, no, it is.I'll take a look at that for you.
624 00:29:33 You would? You would do that for me?
625 00:29:34 I've got the login info,if you wanna crack open your computer,
626 00:29:37 we can do this!
627 00:29:38 Oh, you mean now?
628 00:29:40 - That's awesome! Yeah!- Okay.
629 00:29:42 - Look at this!- Hey, Bob...
630 00:29:44 Whoa!
631 00:29:45 Bob, you gotta keep your voice down!
632 00:29:47 Maggie's sleeping.
633 00:29:49 Wow.
634 00:29:51 This is a pretty serious internationalaccount dossier you've got here.
635 00:29:54 Right? I just want to make sureeverything was hunky-dory.
636 00:30:02 Going to your router.
637 00:30:03 Now you're talking to me.
638 00:30:07 Bingo. I'm in.
639 00:30:10 Oh. That's great, Jet. Thank you, man!
640 00:30:16 I mean, just looking at it first-hand,
641 00:30:18 it kinda looks like it's a bunch ofoff-shore escrow accounts.
642 00:30:22 These have been backwashed into
643 00:30:23 a series of domestic dummy accountsfor some reason.
644 00:30:27 I mean, the logs are all crazy, too.You have China,
645 00:30:30 Syria, Iran.
646 00:30:33 This is an auction site, Bob!
647 00:30:36 These are bids. All of these.
648 00:30:37 This is hundreds of millionsof dollars in bids, right here.
649 00:30:40 And judging by this clock, here,it says it's all gonna end tomorrow.
650 00:30:43 Whoa!
651 00:30:44 - What the hell? Why?- What did...
652 00:30:48 - Oh! I'm sorry, Jet!- Bob!
653 00:30:49 Jet, I'm so sorry! Oh, man.
654 00:30:52 - I'm all thumbs.- It's my computer!
655 00:30:55 - I'm sorry.- No! Please, Bob.
656 00:30:56 - I'm sorry, Jet.- Leave it. I got it.
657 00:30:58 It's fine, Bob. It's fine. Just leave it.
658 00:31:00 The worst!
659 00:31:02 God!
660 00:31:03 Hey! What the hell was that on that site?
661 00:31:06 That didn't haveanything to do with payroll.
662 00:31:08 I don't know. I've never seen that before.
663 00:31:10 That was crazy.
664 00:31:11 Let's figure it out tomorrowwhen we're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
665 00:31:14 What do you say, CJ? I am beat.
666 00:31:17 Hey, do you mind if I crash here?
667 00:31:19 Um...
668 00:31:21 No.
669 00:31:24 Let me go grab some blankets.
670 00:31:30 Hey, thanks for the jammies, Jet.
671 00:31:34 Okay, well, you can keep those.
672 00:31:37 Those are... Those are officially yours.
673 00:31:40 Yeah.
674 00:31:42 - All right.- Oh.
675 00:31:45 You gonna sleep with your fanny pack.
676 00:31:47 Golden Jet! Yeah, it's my baby.
677 00:32:01 You need anything else? You're okay?
678 00:32:06 I can't believe I'm having a sleepoverat Calvin Joyner's house right now.
679 00:32:10 This is blowing my mind!
680 00:32:14 Okay.
681 00:32:15 Uh, good night, Bob.
682 00:32:17 Good night, Jet.
683 00:32:38 Me?
684 00:32:40 Yeah, you.
685 00:32:47 What the fuck?
686 00:32:51 One second.
687 00:32:57 Hold on.
688 00:33:03 Uh, may I help you?
689 00:33:04 Mr. Joyner, my name is Pamela Harris,
690 00:33:06 I'm with the Central Intelligence Agency.
691 00:33:08 Have you had any contact with this man?
692 00:33:11 Uh, yeah, he's on my...He's on my couch, sleeping.
693 00:33:14 Target's in the house.
694 00:33:15 What's going on? Hey!
695 00:33:18 Excuse me. Excuse me!
696 00:33:24 Target's fled.
697 00:33:25 Shit.
698 00:33:27 Target's on the move.
699 00:33:28 Excuse me! What...
700 00:33:33 Hello, hey! Excuse me!
701 00:33:35 - ...and voice chatter in the vicinity.- Hello! Excuse me!
702 00:33:38 If he's in the wind again,it's gonna be your ass. Go now.
703 00:33:40 - Hello!- Alert Langley, asset uncontained.
704 00:33:42 Excuse me!
705 00:33:44 - Can I help you?- Hello!
706 00:33:46 It's my house. Is something going on?
707 00:33:47 Well, Mr. Joyner, your sleepover buddy,Robert Wheirdicht,
708 00:33:50 AKA Bob Stone, AKA Bob Golden,AKA Bob Jet,
709 00:33:53 is wanted for murder and treason
710 00:33:55 and is presently in possessionof highly classified state secrets
711 00:33:58 which he intends to sell to our enemies.
712 00:34:00 What?
713 00:34:01 And if he succeeds, it's gonna sparka chain reaction of geopolitical events
714 00:34:05 that most of our predictive models
715 00:34:07 place somewhere betweenWorld War III and outright Armageddon.
716 00:34:10 So, yeah, I guess you could saysomething is going on.
717 00:34:12 Oh, you mind?
718 00:34:15 Creamer's in the fridge. What?
719 00:34:18 I don't need it.
720 00:34:19 What I do need is information.
721 00:34:21 I need you to tell meeverything and anything
722 00:34:24 about your contact with Agent Stone.
723 00:34:27 - Agent Stone?- Bob, your friend Bob.
724 00:34:30 Come on. Stay with me, please.
725 00:34:33 Okay, I think there's a misunderstanding.
726 00:34:35 No. No, he is not my friend.
727 00:34:37 Then why did he list you as his emergencycontact in all his personnel forms?
728 00:34:41 I'm sorry... He what?
729 00:34:42 Bob Stone has no siblings, or parents,or family of any kind.
730 00:34:45 You are the only person he listedin his personal references.
731 00:34:48 Oh...
732 00:34:50 That's crazy, all right?I barely even know the guy.
733 00:34:52 Then why was he sleeping on your couch?
734 00:34:54 Because we went outand had drinks last night.
735 00:34:55 Oh, so you went out drinkingwith your non-friend?
736 00:34:58 Okay.
737 00:35:00 All right, let's... You're not...
738 00:35:01 Time out.
739 00:35:03 I'm pressing the time out button.
740 00:35:04 Okay? You guys barged in my house.I pay my taxes.
741 00:35:08 So you're not gonna come hereand treat me like I'm the enemy, okay?
742 00:35:11 That's the first thing.Now, if you want to get into facts...
743 00:35:14 You wanna talk about facts?
744 00:35:15 This is Facebook's fault.
745 00:35:17 Are you familiar with Facebook?
746 00:35:18 We surveil it.
747 00:35:19 He sent me a friend request.
748 00:35:21 That's how this whole thing started.
749 00:35:22 And you accepted?
750 00:35:24 Don't do that. Don't do that to me.
751 00:35:26 You give me a second. Okay?Don't fire back like that.
752 00:35:29 First of all,fuck Mark Zuckerberg, all right?
753 00:35:32 Now, I accepted because it was Facebook.
754 00:35:34 And it's rude when you don't accept it and Idon't know if the person on the other end
755 00:35:37 can see me not accept it.That's why I accepted.
756 00:35:39 Are you nervous, Mr. Joyner?
757 00:35:41 Is it hot?
758 00:35:42 Are you getting hot?Because I'm getting hot.
759 00:35:44 I'm not gonna take off my jacket
760 00:35:46 because that makes me look guilty.
761 00:35:48 And that's what you guys look for. Hmm?
762 00:35:51 Is this what a guilty man would do?
763 00:35:53 Look how comfortable I am.
764 00:35:56 I'm gonna lean up against this counter,and I'm not gonna sweat.
765 00:35:59 I'm not gonna...I'm not gonna look flustered at all.
766 00:36:03 I'm... Bring it.
767 00:36:06 What you want to know?
768 00:36:07 Hmm?
769 00:36:08 - Mr. Joyner.- Yeah.
770 00:36:10 Bob Stone is a dangerous psychotic.
771 00:36:12 - You're lucky to be alive.- Okay, listen to me.
772 00:36:14 Agent Harris, I don't know this man.
773 00:36:17 He's just a little weird kidthat I knew in high school.
774 00:36:19 He used to put Rice Krispies Treatsin my locker.
775 00:36:20 Sometimes I ate 'em, sometimes I didn't.
776 00:36:22 I wasn't in carbs back then 'cause Ididn't want that weight going to my hips.
777 00:36:26 As a man, you don't want big hips,especially in high school.
778 00:36:28 Bottom line,I have no allegiance to this man.
779 00:36:31 Zero ties, okay?
780 00:36:33 All ties are cut.
781 00:36:34 I cut them, so this is me and you.
782 00:36:36 So don't put me and him...
783 00:36:38 I ain't in this shit, okay?
784 00:36:41 All right, Mr. Joyner. Prove it.
785 00:36:44 Yeah, well, I need a second.
786 00:36:46 You gotta step outside.I gotta take a shit.
787 00:36:49 This is a lot.
788 00:36:50 I got to go. Just give me a second, man!
789 00:36:53 - I'll be waiting.- Jesus Christ!
790 00:37:06 All teams be advised,we're Oscar Mike with the bait.
791 00:37:09 I'm sorry, did you justcall me "the bait"?
792 00:37:10 No.
793 00:37:12 Yeah, you did.She just called me the bait.
794 00:37:13 Why am I the bait?
795 00:37:14 No, that doesn't sound likesomething I'd ever say.
796 00:37:16 - You just said it.- What's going on here?
797 00:37:18 Sir, I'm gonna need you to step aside.
798 00:37:20 This is a matter of national security.
799 00:37:22 Yeah, right! I love it.
800 00:37:24 What is this? Like a strippergram thingto suck up to Ethan?
801 00:37:26 Gotta love strippers. So dirty.
802 00:37:28 Show us your tits! Show us your tits!
803 00:37:30 Hey, let's see some titty!
804 00:37:36 - This you?- Yeah, right here.
805 00:37:38 You did this to yourself.
806 00:37:45 - Small.- Yeah.
807 00:37:54 It's my wife.
808 00:37:56 Mr. Joyner, it is my legal obligationto inform you
809 00:37:59 that you are now a part ofa highly classified covert action.
810 00:38:02 So, say hello to your wifeand then get off the phone.
811 00:38:04 Am I clear?
812 00:38:06 Don't tell my wife shit. Got it.
813 00:38:08 Don't tell your wife shit.
814 00:38:10 - What line?- Line one.
815 00:38:14 Hey, Mags.Hey, I can't really talk right now, babe.
816 00:38:16 - I got a lot going on.- Okay, okay. I get it. You're hungover.
817 00:38:19 Listen, Dr. Dan can see us today at lunch.
818 00:38:22 - Wait a minute, Dr. Dan?- The therapist, remember?
819 00:38:24 So, I'm thinking we should justmeet at home and go together. Thank you.
820 00:38:28 Go. Go on,and I'll just see you there, okay?
821 00:38:31 But I got to really go, babe.
822 00:38:32 I'm slammed in here.So, I gotta get off the phone.
823 00:38:34 - All right. Jeez! Is everything okay?- Everything is fine, babe.
824 00:38:37 I gotta keep the line clear.I love you. Bye, I gotta go.
825 00:38:41 Love you. Bye.
826 00:38:42 Hmm.
827 00:38:44 "Hmm." What?
828 00:38:45 I'm an expert in speech pathologyand psycho-lingual subtext.
829 00:38:48 Your wife is not fulfilledin your relationship.
830 00:38:51 Wait, what?
831 00:38:52 Also, she wants to have a baby.
832 00:38:54 Where are you getting...
833 00:38:59 Calvin Joyner, Accounting.
834 00:39:03 Hello? Calvin Joyner, Accounting.
835 00:39:06 Calvin?
836 00:39:10 It's Bob! It's Bob!
837 00:39:12 Act natural.
838 00:39:14 Calvin. Is that you?
839 00:39:16 Are you there?
840 00:39:18 Well, hey. Well, yeah.
841 00:39:21 Yeah, wassup?
842 00:39:24 What up, Bobby-o?
843 00:39:27 Are you quite well?
844 00:39:29 I'm in big trouble.
845 00:39:30 Oh, God! I screwed up.I screwed up big time.
846 00:39:33 We gotta talk. Can you meet me?
847 00:39:35 Sure. Yeah. Where?Where do you want me to meet you?
848 00:39:37 I'm in the stairwell of your building,two flights down.
849 00:39:40 - Stairwell?- Hurry!
850 00:39:42 - He's in the stairwell, two flights down!- Move, move!
851 00:39:44 Alert Charlie team.
852 00:39:46 Hold on. What's going on? Am I safe here?
853 00:39:48 As long as Bob Stoneis in the building, no one's safe.
854 00:39:50 Get back in your office now!
855 00:39:56 Okay!
856 00:39:58 Good news is we heard her, guys.
857 00:40:00 So, everybody, let's all just stay calm.
858 00:40:03 As long as... As long... Shit!
859 00:40:09 What the hell is going on?
860 00:40:11 - Relax.- Hey.
861 00:40:12 Great job atgetting them out of here, Jet.
862 00:40:14 - Oh, Bob!- That's teamwork!
863 00:40:15 Wait! How did you... What did you just do?
864 00:40:17 It's a tradecraft, buddy.
865 00:40:19 Spoiler alert...
866 00:40:20 I'm in the CIA.
867 00:40:21 Oh, no shit!
868 00:40:23 Hey, hey! What're you doing with my phone?
869 00:40:24 You about to turn my phoneinto a bomb, aren't you?
870 00:40:26 I've seen Homeland.So I know what they do.
871 00:40:28 Homeland? No, I'm ordering us an Uber.
872 00:40:31 Six minutes. That's kinda tight.
873 00:40:34 I'm gonna need your tie.
874 00:40:36 You're gonna... No!
875 00:40:37 - Your necktie, take it off.- No,
876 00:40:39 - I'm not taking my tie off!- Come on, Jet!
877 00:40:40 Don't do that. Don't do that.
878 00:40:42 That's good. Save it, save it, save it.
879 00:40:43 Save it, Jet.
880 00:40:45 - There we go, just right over here.- Fine, take it, take it.
881 00:40:47 You can have it. Okay, that...Listen to me. Listen.
882 00:40:50 Stop. Stop!
883 00:40:51 I need to knowwhat is happening, right now.
884 00:40:53 Okay, okay. You know what?Moving too fast.
885 00:40:55 Bottom line, are you in or you out?
886 00:40:59 What are you... In or out of what?
887 00:41:01 Mmm-mmm. No timefor questions, just action.
888 00:41:03 - In or out?- Okay, then I'm out.
889 00:41:06 I'm sorry, Jet.Actually, you're already in.
890 00:41:08 Then why would you ask me?
891 00:41:10 Because I thoughtyou would go, "I'm in, Bob!"
892 00:41:12 And we would've had a really cool moment,but you kinda ruined the whole thing.
893 00:41:15 I ruined...
894 00:41:16 Okay, okay, okay.
895 00:41:17 Listen to me right now.
896 00:41:19 Bob, I don't know what it is thatyou're into but what I do know is that
897 00:41:22 I am really, really 100% out!
898 00:41:26 Do you understand that?
899 00:41:27 - God, you are good!- What?
900 00:41:30 Calvin Joyner, president of the Drama Clubfor a reason, folks!
901 00:41:33 - You're like a snack-size Denzel.- Okay. Stop it, stop it, stop it.
902 00:41:36 This is not a game.
903 00:41:38 I'm being serious right now.
904 00:41:40 I'm out!
905 00:41:44 Okay. Okay.
906 00:41:45 I can't say I'm not disappointed, Jet,
907 00:41:48 but if you're out, you're out.
908 00:41:49 Thank you! I'm out!
909 00:41:51 I'm just happy that we can communicate
910 00:41:54 openly and honestly.
911 00:41:55 I think it says a lotabout our relationship.
912 00:41:58 Wait, hold up, wait.What're you doing? Oh, my God!
913 00:42:01 Here's the thing, though.
914 00:42:02 There's only one way for you to get out.
915 00:42:04 What's that?
916 00:42:05 You gotta get in first.
917 00:42:07 What is it that...
918 00:42:08 What-what! Take my gun, Jet,
919 00:42:10 we may have to kill some people.
920 00:42:11 - Come on, it's not gonna bite you.- I will do no such thing.
921 00:42:14 I think you'll like it.
922 00:42:15 - I will not!- You're gonna need it.
923 00:42:17 You're gonna need it! He's in here!
924 00:42:20 Jet.
925 00:42:21 He's in there! Bob's in there!
926 00:42:24 He's got a gun! He's got a gun!
927 00:42:28 - Down, down, get down!- Move, move, move!
928 00:42:30 All right. I'm gonna needyour improv skills.
929 00:42:32 What?
930 00:42:33 - Hostage role-play, you ready?- No!
931 00:42:36 - Sweet, let's go.- No, I said no!
932 00:42:37 I said no!
933 00:42:39 He's got a hostage!
934 00:42:41 No!
935 00:42:42 No! Stop it, you gonna get me killed!
936 00:42:46 Don't shoot!
937 00:42:59 There we go, Jet!
938 00:43:01 What are you doing?
939 00:43:02 Oh! Shoot!
940 00:43:05 Don't shoot!
941 00:43:18 - Hang tight, Jet!- No, I'm not doing anything!
942 00:43:21 Stop including me in your stuff!
943 00:43:24 Get him, Agent! Hit him with the stick!
944 00:43:31 Oh!
945 00:43:32 You're doing a great job, Jet.Just give me a second, okay?
946 00:43:34 What the fuck?
947 00:43:36 He got a coffee pot!
948 00:43:55 He got a banana!
949 00:44:01 Oh! Oh!
950 00:44:04 Freeze!
951 00:44:16 Jet, help!
952 00:44:18 What?
953 00:44:20 Golden Jet, help.
954 00:44:22 No, man, I'm not helping you!
955 00:44:27 Oh, shit.
956 00:44:28 - Give me the gun!- Stop it!
957 00:44:30 - Stop resisting!- No, let me go!
958 00:44:35 Let me go! I'm trying to give it to you!
959 00:44:40 Oh, shit!
960 00:44:41 - That was an accident!- Don't move!
961 00:44:42 No, stop! Listen to me!
962 00:44:46 Let's go.
963 00:44:48 Wait, wait! Come on! What are you... Ah!
964 00:44:50 Come on, man!
965 00:44:52 This has gotta stop! Okay?
966 00:44:56 Shit!
967 00:45:01 Don't shoot!
968 00:45:03 - Oh, God!- Show us your hands!
969 00:45:05 - Drop your weapon!- Do it now!
970 00:45:16 Ow.
971 00:45:17 Sorry, Jet.
972 00:45:19 It's over, Bob. Give up.
973 00:45:21 You know I can't do that, Pam.
974 00:45:23 There's nowhere to run, Agent Stone.
975 00:45:25 Just like Caracas.
976 00:45:27 Uh, Caracas would've workedif you trusted me like Calvin trusts me.
977 00:45:31 No. No.
978 00:45:32 That is not true. I do not trust him!
979 00:45:34 I do not trust him at all.As a matter of fact,
980 00:45:36 this is a perfect timefor us to clear this up
981 00:45:38 especially in the middle of this standoff.I shouldn't be here!
982 00:45:40 So I feel like me beingin the middle of this throws me in it.
983 00:45:43 So let me exclude myself.
984 00:45:44 - Hey, stay down!- Don't move!
985 00:45:46 Okay, all right.I'll stay in. I'll stay in.
986 00:45:50 I got a plan.
987 00:45:52 Might get us both killed but if it works,it'll be a totally boss story.
988 00:45:55 Cool?
989 00:45:56 - No! No, it's not cool!- Cool.
990 00:45:58 No, I said it's not cool.
991 00:46:00 I said it's not cool!
992 00:46:01 Time's up.
993 00:46:03 You're right, Pam.
994 00:46:05 My time is up.
995 00:46:06 In three, two,
996 00:46:09 one.
997 00:46:18 Bob, Bob, Bob!
998 00:46:20 Whoa, whoa, whoa!
999 00:46:24 Oh, shit!
1000 00:46:26 Whoo-hoo!
1001 00:46:43 Wow! Did you feel that, Jet?
1002 00:46:45 That was the balls right there!
1003 00:46:50 Hey, did you shit yourself a little bit?
1004 00:46:53 It's all right if you did. Totally cool.I don't judge.
1005 00:47:01 Get it off!
1006 00:47:02 You guys order an Uber?
1007 00:47:06 What are you doing?
1008 00:47:08 You better get your tuches in the car.
1009 00:47:09 You're gonna get shot!
1010 00:47:11 Don't shoot me! Shoot him!
1011 00:47:12 Shoot him! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out!
1012 00:47:15 Let me in! Let me in! Let me in! Go, Bob!
1013 00:47:21 Hey, that's my car!
1014 00:47:23 Fuck you!
1015 00:47:25 You get zero stars!
1016 00:47:28 Put the word out to all assets.
1017 00:47:30 I'm doubling the price on Bob's head.
1018 00:47:32 Hey, what the shit, honey...
1019 00:47:35 Get Larry on it.
1020 00:47:42 Car, car, car!
1021 00:47:43 All right, here's the dilly-o, Jet.
1022 00:47:45 About three weeks ago,an enemy of the state
1023 00:47:47 codenamed "The Black Badger"
1024 00:47:48 stole the encryption keysto the entire US spy satellite program
1025 00:47:52 which he's gonna sell to a buyer from thatauction site on your computer last night.
1026 00:47:55 Bob...
1027 00:47:56 If we lose control of our satellites,
1028 00:47:57 we're completely vulnerableto any terrorist attacks.
1029 00:48:00 That's why I had to go backto your office and get you, Jet.
1030 00:48:02 I need your super sweet accounting skills
1031 00:48:04 to help me figure outthe last piece of this puzzle
1032 00:48:06 which is the transaction numberfrom the winning bid.
1033 00:48:09 That'll tell uswhere the deal is going down.
1034 00:48:12 That way, we can get The Black Badger.
1035 00:48:15 I can't do it without you, Jet.
1036 00:48:16 Are you kidding me? I'm not helping you.
1037 00:48:19 You attacked somebody with a banana.
1038 00:48:21 - A banana, force multiplier.- What?
1039 00:48:24 Well, basically what that meansis anything in your hand
1040 00:48:26 is far more dangerous than just yourbare hands alone, including a banana.
1041 00:48:30 Oh!
1042 00:48:32 Oh! Ah!
1043 00:48:35 - A force multiplier!- Yeah.
1044 00:48:37 Yeah, that's what it is.
1045 00:48:38 It makes so much more sense to me now.
1046 00:48:40 That's page-one CIA stuff.
1047 00:48:43 I almost forgotthat I wasn't in the fucking CIA!
1048 00:48:47 Stop the car.
1049 00:48:48 You stop the car right now! Stop the car!
1050 00:48:50 Okay, okay. That's a great idea, Jet.
1051 00:48:52 We should get off the grid right now.
1052 00:48:55 Whoa!
1053 00:49:02 All right. We're clear.
1054 00:49:10 Okay.
1055 00:49:12 Okay. Let's just take some deep breaths.
1056 00:49:14 Okay? Deep breaths.
1057 00:49:16 All you gotta do is get out of this car
1058 00:49:19 and have a rational conversationwith Bob and he'll understand.
1059 00:49:32 Robert, I would like togo home now, please.
1060 00:49:35 Buddy, you and me both.
1061 00:49:36 But until we clear our names,there's no going home.
1062 00:49:39 I'm sorry, can you clarifythat last sentence for me?
1063 00:49:41 Yeah, well, now that you're in...
1064 00:49:43 Let me stop you right there. I'm not in.
1065 00:49:45 I never said that I was in.
1066 00:49:47 In fact, I expressly remembersaying that I was out!
1067 00:49:50 I know, but they think you're in.
1068 00:49:51 I am...
1069 00:49:53 I'm fucking out! I'm out!
1070 00:49:55 - What's left to tell?- Hey, no, I get it.
1071 00:49:56 - I'm not in!- I'm just saying they think you're in.
1072 00:49:58 - I'm not in! I am not in!- I get it.
1073 00:50:01 I'm not in! I'm out!
1074 00:50:03 One sec, Jet, just gotta disable the GPS.
1075 00:50:06 Where did you...
1076 00:50:08 You wanna go under... That's fine!
1077 00:50:09 Wait a minute.
1078 00:50:10 You did this on purpose, didn't you?
1079 00:50:13 This whole thing was done on purpose.
1080 00:50:15 This is your plan!
1081 00:50:17 You tricked me!
1082 00:50:19 It's fine, but I know you tricked me.
1083 00:50:21 - Trick you?- You tricked... Hey, boy!
1084 00:50:23 What? What'd you just...
1085 00:50:25 I didn't trick you,you offered to help me.
1086 00:50:27 You know what's funny? Harris told me.
1087 00:50:29 She told me everything, man.
1088 00:50:30 She told me that you stole the codes.
1089 00:50:32 Let me tell you something about Harris.You can't trust her.
1090 00:50:34 She's already trying to frame mefor my partner's murder!
1091 00:50:36 - You killed your partner?- No.
1092 00:50:38 I would never do that.
1093 00:50:39 The Black Badger killed my partner.
1094 00:50:41 Let me explain to you something, dude.This is what happened.
1095 00:50:44 After The Black Badgerstole the satellite encryption codes,
1096 00:50:47 my partner Phil and Itracked him to a penthouse in Kiev.
1097 00:50:51 - Hey, Phil.- Yeah.
1098 00:50:52 I'll see you on the other side.
1099 00:50:55 See you on the other side.
1100 00:50:58 All right.
1101 00:50:59 God, I love that guy.
1102 00:51:01 He knew we were coming, so he set a trap.
1103 00:51:03 Hey, Bob! Bob!
1104 00:51:05 No!
1105 00:51:06 Phil was my partner, my teammate
1106 00:51:09 - and I couldn't save him.- No!
1107 00:51:14 It was awful, Cal.
1108 00:51:16 It was a setup, right from the get-go.
1109 00:51:19 Damn, man.
1110 00:51:20 The Black Badger was never there.
1111 00:51:22 I should've been the oneon that elevator, not Phil.
1112 00:51:24 God.
1113 00:51:26 Okay. Bob, please...
1114 00:51:28 I'm begging you, man.Can you just let me go home?
1115 00:51:30 CJ, I totally understand.
1116 00:51:32 But right now,Agent Harris and her taskforce
1117 00:51:34 has that place surveilled up the yin-yang.
1118 00:51:36 She's got contract killers looking for us.
1119 00:51:38 Your place isn't safe.
1120 00:51:39 Oh, my God. Maggie.
1121 00:51:41 Maggie! What the hellam I supposed to do about Maggie?
1122 00:51:46 Get down, Jet!
1123 00:51:56 Shit! Oh!
1124 00:51:59 Look out, Bob!
1125 00:52:12 Who the hell is that? Who is that? Bob?
1126 00:52:14 Oh, shit.
1127 00:52:21 Larry.
1128 00:52:25 Thought you retired.
1129 00:52:26 I did.
1130 00:52:28 But you're worth a lot of money,Bob, dead or alive.
1131 00:52:30 Well, tough luck,because I've got back up.
1132 00:52:33 Ain't that right, Jet?
1133 00:52:37 Jet!
1134 00:53:00 Hey, baby. I know. I'm sorry I'm late.
1135 00:53:03 The stupid Koplin deposition ran long.
1136 00:53:05 I'm leaving right now.I'll meet you at the house.
1137 00:53:07 No, no, no! Don't go home!
1138 00:53:08 - Don't go home!- Why? What's going on?
1139 00:53:10 Nothing! Nothing.I'm just running late, too.
1140 00:53:13 So I was gonna saylet's just meet at Dr. Dan's office.
1141 00:53:17 Yeah. Okay. Is everything all right?
1142 00:53:19 Yeah! Yeah. Why?
1143 00:53:21 Everything's fine.
1144 00:53:23 Because you kind of soundlike Ray Liotta at the end of Goodfellas.
1145 00:53:25 What?
1146 00:53:28 That's so funny, babe.That's such a good reference.
1147 00:53:30 That's classic Mags right there.
1148 00:53:32 So, okay. So you're notgonna go home, right?
1149 00:53:35 Okay, fine. I won't go home.
1150 00:53:36 I'll meet you at Dr. Dan's. See you soon.
1151 00:53:38 Okay. All right, bye.
1152 00:53:39 All right, bye.
1153 00:54:03 Get in.
1154 00:54:22 I'm gonna addressthe elephant in the room.
1155 00:54:26 Okay, first of all, you...
1156 00:54:29 You guys, I want to say sorry to.
1157 00:54:32 Because what you're probably thinkingis not what happened.
1158 00:54:36 Accidents!
1159 00:54:37 I know you're like,
1160 00:54:38 "How can you accidentally pistol-whipsomebody and shoot somebody?"
1161 00:54:41 It can happen.
1162 00:54:42 Okay? Today is proofthat it can happen. So...
1163 00:54:46 I'm glad I got to get that off my chest.
1164 00:54:48 Relax, Mr. Joyner. I believe you.
1165 00:54:50 Okay, thank you.
1166 00:54:52 Trust me, I know ascared-shitless civilian when I see one.
1167 00:54:55 You don't have to convince me.
1168 00:54:57 You got him over here. That is me.
1169 00:54:59 Right now, I'm not comfortable.
1170 00:55:01 Okay, I am scared, okay?
1171 00:55:03 I don't have no shit in my system.
1172 00:55:06 If I sat down on a toilet,nothing's coming out.
1173 00:55:08 Farts or just air.
1174 00:55:16 It'd sound like lasers.
1175 00:55:17 Thank you for that description.
1176 00:55:19 Mr. Joyner, let me explain something.
1177 00:55:21 Bob's last forced psych eval
1178 00:55:23 show a person rapidly losinghis grip on reality.
1179 00:55:26 Bob became obsessed with a ghost,
1180 00:55:28 a figment of his imagination,
1181 00:55:29 he started calling "The Black Badger."
1182 00:55:31 This obsession led to an instability,
1183 00:55:33 first reported by his partner, Phil,three weeks ago.
1184 00:55:36 Just before Phil was killed in the field.
1185 00:55:39 Do you know how Phil died?
1186 00:55:40 Yeah, Bob told me thatThe Black Badger killed him.
1187 00:55:47 What?
1188 00:55:49 What?
1189 00:55:50 Mr. Joyner, Bob Stone is The Black Badger.
1190 00:55:54 Phil was Bob's partner of six years.
1191 00:55:57 His best friend.
1192 00:55:58 - See you on the other side.- See you on the other side.
1193 00:56:02 Hey, Bob!
1194 00:56:03 After he stolethe satellite encryption codes
1195 00:56:06 Bob betrayed Phil.
1196 00:56:07 No!
1197 00:56:09 He killed him to cover his tracks.
1198 00:56:15 And, after that, Bob went rogue.
1199 00:56:19 This is all that's left of Phil.
1200 00:56:24 Um, this is PornHub.
1201 00:56:27 Oh, shit, shit, shit. Sorry.
1202 00:56:31 There you go.
1203 00:56:33 Oh! Oh, God! Oh, I didn't see that coming.
1204 00:56:37 Oh, man!
1205 00:56:40 - It's a hell of a way to go.- Okay, wait a minute.
1206 00:56:42 Why wouldn't Bob just go sellthe satellite encryption codes himself?
1207 00:56:44 Because in a black marketblind-bidding situation,
1208 00:56:46 the buyer and the seller,they don't know each other.
1209 00:56:48 They need the auction siteto tell them exactly where to meet up
1210 00:56:51 and when to make the exchange.
1211 00:56:52 The transaction numberfrom the auction site gives them that,
1212 00:56:56 which means Bob still needs you.
1213 00:56:59 Which is why we find ourselvesin a little catch-and-release scenario.
1214 00:57:02 You are the only one Bob trusts.
1215 00:57:05 That's why we're putting you in the field.
1216 00:57:07 The next time you're with Bob,
1217 00:57:10 press this button.
1218 00:57:11 We're going to have him cold.
1219 00:57:19 Now, go take care of your marriage.
1220 00:57:21 One more thing. Don't tell your wife shit.
1221 00:57:25 All right.
1222 00:57:28 I just don't know what's wrong.
1223 00:57:30 I mean, the man that I married,the person I knew in high school,
1224 00:57:34 he was filledwith drive and desire. I mean...
1225 00:57:38 We used to sneak off every lunch hourand make out under the gym bleachers.
1226 00:57:41 Like, that guy, back then,
1227 00:57:43 - he wanted things, you know?- Hmm.
1228 00:57:45 Hey, I'm sorry I'm late.I couldn't find parking.
1229 00:57:48 Hi, no, no, it's okay.We got started without you.
1230 00:57:50 Babe, Calvin, this is Dr. Dan.
1231 00:57:52 Hello, Calvin.
1232 00:57:53 - Oh, shit!- Oh, jeez. What's the matter?
1233 00:57:56 - Holy shit! Get behind me!- Honey... Calvin, what?
1234 00:57:58 It's okay, Maggie. It's okay. Just relax.
1235 00:58:01 This is a very common reactionin the therapeutic process.
1236 00:58:03 - It is?- What?
1237 00:58:04 It is. It absolutely is.
1238 00:58:05 Calvin, this is a very safe place.Please, sit down.
1239 00:58:09 - This is not a safe place!- No, no, no. Honey, it's a...
1240 00:58:11 No, this is most definitelynot a safe place!
1241 00:58:12 Me and my wife are leaving. Let's go.
1242 00:58:14 No, no, no! You are going to sit down,
1243 00:58:16 and we are going to go throughthis therapeutic process...
1244 00:58:19 - Yes.- ...together, as a couple.
1245 00:58:22 Um... Fine, fine, fine.
1246 00:58:24 Sit down. Thank you.
1247 00:58:26 Fine.
1248 00:58:27 Okay, guys. Why don't we start offwith a little bit of word association?
1249 00:58:31 Okay.
1250 00:58:32 This is exciting.
1251 00:58:33 I've heard this canreally open a couple up.
1252 00:58:36 Uh, Maggie, I'm going to offer you a word,
1253 00:58:39 and you respondhowever you're moved to from here.
1254 00:58:43 Okay.
1255 00:58:45 - Black.- White.
1256 00:58:46 - Water.- Ocean.
1257 00:58:48 - Sunshine.- Happy.
1258 00:58:51 - I'm very impressed, Maggie.- Really?
1259 00:58:53 You're very in tune.
1260 00:58:55 I'm very in tune.
1261 00:58:57 Calvin, you're next.
1262 00:58:59 I do not want to do this.
1263 00:59:01 Relax, Calvin. There are no wrong answers.
1264 00:59:03 Up.
1265 00:59:06 Down.
1266 00:59:08 Mmm.
1267 00:59:10 "Mmm." What is that?
1268 00:59:11 What're you writing in your book?
1269 00:59:12 - It's fine. Don't freak out.- Nobody's freaking out.
1270 00:59:14 I just don't understandthe rules to the game.
1271 00:59:16 Freaking out.
1272 00:59:18 Let's switch gears for a second, okay?
1273 00:59:21 Maggie, during lovemaking,
1274 00:59:24 have you ever placed anythinginside of Calvin's anus?
1275 00:59:28 What the hell did you just say?
1276 00:59:29 Well, yeah, there was this one time.
1277 00:59:31 - You remember? Game of Thrones finale.- What are you talking about?
1278 00:59:34 I was Khaleesi, you were Littlefinger...
1279 00:59:36 - Okay, all right, stop. That's enough.- Please, please, please.
1280 00:59:39 Why don't we try a simplerole-playing exercise?
1281 00:59:42 Calvin, you be Calvin
1282 00:59:44 and I will become Maggie.
1283 00:59:47 Mmm.
1284 00:59:49 I'm confused.
1285 00:59:55 It's called "soul gazing."
1286 00:59:57 Stare into my souland I'll stare into yours.
1287 01:00:01 - Maggie, this...- Hey. Shh.
1288 01:00:03 There's no talking, and don't look away.
1289 01:00:06 Stare into my soul.
1290 01:00:07 You are not my...
1291 01:00:09 Shh. There's no talking.
1292 01:00:10 Babe, I'm not staring...
1293 01:00:12 Me and you. Stay with me. I'm your wife.
1294 01:00:15 You are not my wife.
1295 01:00:20 How could you hit your wife?
1296 01:00:22 How can I... How can I what?
1297 01:00:23 - You hit your wife!- No...
1298 01:00:25 - He hit me!- Okay.
1299 01:00:26 - He hit you!- Okay.
1300 01:00:27 You hit us!
1301 01:00:33 - I'm swaddling you.- I know what you're doing.
1302 01:00:35 - I'm swaddling you.- I know what you're...
1303 01:00:36 Come here.
1304 01:00:38 Oh, my God!
1305 01:00:39 You...
1306 01:00:42 You know what? We're leaving! Let's go!
1307 01:00:45 This is not real.
1308 01:00:46 It's real to me.
1309 01:00:48 You know what, Calvin?
1310 01:00:49 If you can't committo working on our marriage,
1311 01:00:52 then you need to let me know.
1312 01:00:54 Maggie, you...
1313 01:00:57 - What!- Oh, my God!
1314 01:00:59 You're... Something's not right.
1315 01:01:00 Come on, Jet, listen.Come on, come on, Jet!
1316 01:01:03 Now, I know things gota little rough there at the end.
1317 01:01:06 But the truth is, with all the heatthat you have coming down on you,
1318 01:01:08 Maggie is definitely safer without you.
1319 01:01:11 And, trust me,when this whole thing is said and done
1320 01:01:13 and you basicallysave the entire free world,
1321 01:01:15 she's going to forgive you.It'll all work itself out.
1322 01:01:18 It'll all work itself out?
1323 01:01:20 Okay, Bob, you know,I'm sick of playing games with you.
1324 01:01:22 Where's the real Dr. Dan?
1325 01:01:24 What-what?
1326 01:01:25 Oh, my... Dr. Dan,I had nothing to do with this.
1327 01:01:28 He's fine. I'll get you some waterin a little bit.
1328 01:01:30 - Thanks, doc.- You know...
1329 01:01:32 That's it. That is it.
1330 01:01:35 That is it.
1331 01:01:38 All right, Jet.
1332 01:01:39 I see that Harris has given youa button to push.
1333 01:01:42 Relax, I would've taken the same deal,too, if I was in your shoes.
1334 01:01:44 Otherwise, she wouldn'tlet you out of her sight, right?
1335 01:01:47 It makes perfect sense.
1336 01:01:50 But you're not going topress the button, right?
1337 01:01:53 You got the top-secret satellite codes?
1338 01:01:55 Yes or no?
1339 01:01:57 This ain't the time to bullshit me.
1340 01:01:59 Okay, my ass is sweating.
1341 01:02:00 I'm nervous. Don't bullshit me!
1342 01:02:02 Of course not, dude. Hey, hey, come on!
1343 01:02:04 Of course I don't have the codes.
1344 01:02:06 Why would I go throughall this trouble, then?
1345 01:02:07 I need your skill set, Jet, to help me get
1346 01:02:10 the bank transaction numbersto the winning bid.
1347 01:02:12 We already know it's going down tonight
1348 01:02:14 from the countdown on your computer.
1349 01:02:15 Now, all we need is the "where."
1350 01:02:17 And the bank transaction numberswill give us the "where."
1351 01:02:20 That's why I need you.
1352 01:02:21 Your job gives you access to
1353 01:02:22 exactly that kind of information.
1354 01:02:24 Then we can get The Badger,we can get the buyer
1355 01:02:27 in one fell swoop.
1356 01:02:28 And it'll all be over tonight.
1357 01:02:30 Please, I swear.
1358 01:02:31 You gotta believe me.
1359 01:02:43 Can't you just get usthe transaction number?
1360 01:02:45 Not when the moneyoriginates from an offshore account.
1361 01:02:47 When that happens, then only a certifiedinternational banking official can access it.
1362 01:02:51 But, it shouldn't be a problem.We just give this guy
1363 01:02:53 the offshore account numbersthat you gave me,
1364 01:02:55 then he can give us the transaction number
1365 01:02:57 without knowing thathe's committing treason when he does it.
1366 01:02:59 Sound familiar?
1367 01:03:00 Ouch! Low blow, CJ.
1368 01:03:03 Hey, besides,it's only treason if we're wrong.
1369 01:03:05 Who's this mystery man?
1370 01:03:07 It's Trevor.
1371 01:03:13 Trevor.
1372 01:03:17 This week just keeps getting better.
1373 01:03:19 You know, I mean, Robbie Wheirdicht andCalvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner in my office.
1374 01:03:24 Who would've thunk it? Not me.
1375 01:03:26 This is great, huh?
1376 01:03:28 Talk about caterpillar to the butterfly...
1377 01:03:30 What is this? P90X?
1378 01:03:32 More like "P1,000,000X," huh?
1379 01:03:35 Congratulations.
1380 01:03:37 Hey, I, um...
1381 01:03:39 I really appreciate the help, Trevor.
1382 01:03:41 My client's all on meto get this stuff handled right away.
1383 01:03:43 So, you know, if we could...
1384 01:03:44 Say no more.It's my pleasure. I've been there.
1385 01:03:46 These international accountscan be very, very tricky
1386 01:03:48 if you don't have the right clearances.
1387 01:03:49 You can get a bunch of digital red tape.
1388 01:03:52 I'm happy to help, you know?
1389 01:03:54 Robbie.
1390 01:03:55 You're such a blast from the past, buddy.
1391 01:03:57 How long has it been since I saw you?
1392 01:03:58 Was it high school?
1393 01:04:02 What's that?
1394 01:04:03 Um... How we doingwith those account access codes?
1395 01:04:06 - Are they coming?- It's coming.
1396 01:04:07 - Everything's good?- It's coming.
1397 01:04:08 I'm going as fast as I can. I knowyou guys are in a rush. I'm so sorry.
1398 01:04:11 Anything for a couple of fellow Centaurs.
1399 01:04:13 Speaking of which, you guys are goingto the reunion tonight, right?
1400 01:04:18 No, I don't think so.
1401 01:04:20 You're both going.
1402 01:04:21 Here it is.Here's your transaction number.
1403 01:04:23 You're both goingbecause you want to know what?
1404 01:04:25 Stinky Pete's going to be there.
1405 01:04:26 And Jimmy Longballs called me.He's going to be hanging.
1406 01:04:30 Carlos Nagasaki, the Mexican eggroll.He's going to be there.
1407 01:04:33 You guys will be missing out on a big one.
1408 01:04:35 Plus you know what they're going to do?
1409 01:04:37 They're going to vote onhomecoming king and queen again.
1410 01:04:39 Maybe you and Maggiecan make it two for two.
1411 01:04:41 Now, before you go,stay seated one second.
1412 01:04:43 Give me two minutes, sit down.
1413 01:04:46 Men,
1414 01:04:48 a few years ago...
1415 01:04:50 I found the Lord Almighty.
1416 01:04:52 And, ever since then,
1417 01:04:53 my life has beencompletely different. Okay?
1418 01:04:56 He's got a plan foreach and every one of us
1419 01:04:59 and, in his infinite wisdom,
1420 01:05:01 he makes no mistakes. Hmm?
1421 01:05:04 You're right about that.
1422 01:05:05 I think the Lord put you here because hewants me to get something off my chest.
1423 01:05:08 He wants me to clear my conscienceand he wants me to ask for forgiveness.
1424 01:05:11 Robert.
1425 01:05:13 What I did to you at that rallyin senior year was a cowardly act.
1426 01:05:17 It's something thatI've regretted every single day.
1427 01:05:19 Yeah. I mean,bullying is a national crisis.
1428 01:05:23 It can leave peoplewith a lifetime of pain.
1429 01:05:27 And I just have no excusefor what I did to you.
1430 01:05:31 I mean, I did grow up in a housewith a father who was physical,
1431 01:05:33 but that doesn't give methe right to take it out on somebody
1432 01:05:36 who at the timewas weaker, you know? So...
1433 01:05:38 Calvin, with this particulartransgression,
1434 01:05:42 I not only embarrassed himbut I also ruined your final speech.
1435 01:05:45 - No, no.- Yes, I did.
1436 01:05:47 - It's okay. No, it's okay.- No, really, I stole your thunder.
1437 01:05:50 And it's another thing thatI've had to live with every single day.
1438 01:05:52 And I work through it in individual therapyas well as group, and I pray about it.
1439 01:05:59 So...
1440 01:06:03 I just want to say how truly sorry I am
1441 01:06:08 for what happened, you know.
1442 01:06:10 Or for what I did.
1443 01:06:12 It didn't just happen. I did it.
1444 01:06:13 I did it, and I wish to Godthat I had not done it.
1445 01:06:17 So, I'm hoping thatyou can find it in your heart
1446 01:06:21 to forgive me.
1447 01:06:25 I wasn't expecting this at all.
1448 01:06:27 Don't I know it. I know it.
1449 01:06:30 I'm just so happy.
1450 01:06:32 I don't know what to say.
1451 01:06:35 How about you say...
1452 01:06:38 "The Oscar goes to Trevor Olson."
1453 01:06:45 What do you mean?
1454 01:06:55 Weird Dick!
1455 01:06:56 You stupid ass!
1456 01:06:58 Good God, you're dumb!
1457 01:07:00 Dumber than ever, I guess!
1458 01:07:02 And you, too, Calvin!
1459 01:07:04 Look at that stupid lookon those two faces.
1460 01:07:07 "The Lord taught me to care."Unbelievable.
1461 01:07:10 I'm a Scientologist. Okay, that's "A."
1462 01:07:13 And thetan-free since 2003.
1463 01:07:16 Clear as shit.
1464 01:07:17 And "I'm sorry for what I did"?
1465 01:07:18 Let me tell you what I'm sorry about.
1466 01:07:20 I'm sorry I didn't toss your naked assout there three more times.
1467 01:07:22 It was the best senior prank ever.
1468 01:07:24 I still get emails about it.
1469 01:07:25 And if I'd hadone of these bad boys back then,
1470 01:07:27 I would have shot it, uploaded it,
1471 01:07:29 and it would have gone crazy viral,a zillion hits.
1472 01:07:31 Know what?
1473 01:07:33 You're going to regretyou ever opened your mouth.
1474 01:07:34 - You hear me, Trevor?- Yeah? How come, Calvin?
1475 01:07:37 Because he's about towhoop your ass, that's why.
1476 01:07:39 Who is?
1477 01:07:40 Bob, get up and whoop his ass.
1478 01:07:41 Here she comes!Let me tell you something...
1479 01:07:43 Weird Dick can't chug a bunchof fucking steroids and elk urine
1480 01:07:46 and suddenly be able to kick my ass.
1481 01:07:48 Fuck that! It ain't gonna happen.
1482 01:07:51 'Cause here's why.
1483 01:07:53 Once a fat kid, always a fat kid.
1484 01:07:57 Huh? Prove me wrong.
1485 01:07:59 Bob, come on. Do what you did in the bar.
1486 01:08:11 Come on, hit me!
1487 01:08:13 And I'll sue your ass,and take your fanny pack away.
1488 01:08:18 You got to make poopies?
1489 01:08:20 What's wrong, Bob?
1490 01:08:21 We got a john here.
1491 01:08:22 Or you got to change your rag?
1492 01:08:25 Maybe that's it.
1493 01:08:26 Jenny, you got an extra rag?
1494 01:08:29 - What's the matter with you?- I just want to go.
1495 01:08:31 She wants to go.
1496 01:08:33 Go ahead. There you go.
1497 01:08:36 No, it's a push.
1498 01:08:37 Boy, 50-50 shot. You missed that.
1499 01:08:40 At least you found the handle.
1500 01:08:41 Boy, he's still a scared little bitch.
1501 01:08:44 You know, you're still an asshole.
1502 01:08:45 Yeah, well, you're stillshorter than my cat.
1503 01:08:48 Here's your transaction number.
1504 01:08:50 Hit it, dick licker.
1505 01:08:53 - Thank you, Trevor.- Yup.
1506 01:08:56 Glad to see you haven't changed a bit.
1507 01:08:58 Bye-bye now.
1508 01:08:59 - Was it push or pull?- Clean push.
1509 01:09:00 - Which one is it?- You want me to do it for you?
1510 01:09:02 Which one is it?
1511 01:09:04 Hey, hey, hey! Goddamn it, Joyner!
1512 01:09:07 Jenny!
1513 01:09:08 Jenny, get the Windex!And security for this one.
1514 01:09:11 Get your asshole off my door! That's it!
1515 01:09:15 Bob! Bob!
1516 01:09:17 Bob! Bob! Bob!
1517 01:09:26 Mr. Joyner. Guess whowe're about to arrest
1518 01:09:29 for conspiracy to commit treason.
1519 01:09:33 That's right. Your lovely wife.
1520 01:09:36 So, here's what you're going to do.
1521 01:09:38 You're going to tell usexactly where you and Bob are.
1522 01:09:41 Then you're going to go outside and you'regoing to keep Bob on-site until we arrive.
1523 01:09:44 And if he leaves, you lose.
1524 01:09:47 Is that clear?
1525 01:09:54 Oh, hey.
1526 01:09:56 I don't know what happenedin there, and I just froze up.
1527 01:09:58 I locked up. I'm sorry.
1528 01:10:01 Look, Bob, I...
1529 01:10:02 No, I gotta tell you something,CJ, listen.
1530 01:10:04 You're the only onewho's ever been nice to me,
1531 01:10:06 the only one who's never laughed at me.
1532 01:10:08 And you're the only onein this whole world that I trust.
1533 01:10:12 And I know you have a lotof friends, but I don't.
1534 01:10:19 You're my only friend, Calvin.
1535 01:10:21 And I will neverlet you down again, I promise.
1536 01:10:25 I'm sorry, man.
1537 01:10:31 Sorry for what?
1538 01:10:32 I told Harris where we are.
1539 01:10:35 They were going to hurt Maggie.
1540 01:10:36 I had to. I didn't have a choice.
1541 01:10:39 I'm sorry.
1542 01:10:45 Freeze, Bob! Hands on your head!
1543 01:10:47 Do it now!
1544 01:11:19 I know you know how this goes,so I'll spare you the dramatics.
1545 01:11:22 I'll ask you just once.
1546 01:11:24 Where are the satellite encryption codes?
1547 01:11:29 Aw. What's the matter, Bob?
1548 01:11:31 Are you upset thatyour friend turned you in?
1549 01:11:35 I don't have any friends.
1550 01:11:37 Okay, I don't want to watch this, guys.
1551 01:11:39 Don't worry, it'll be over quick.
1552 01:11:40 She always gets them to break.
1553 01:11:42 Okay. You have it your way.
1554 01:11:45 We're going to do this old-school.
1555 01:11:54 Get the extraction tools.
1556 01:11:58 The extraction tools?
1557 01:12:00 If you don't have the stomach for it,you can go.
1558 01:12:03 Come on.
1559 01:12:07 Stop recording.
1560 01:12:18 Why am I coming here?I was told I'd be able to leave.
1561 01:12:20 You can leave,
1562 01:12:22 when Agent Harris says you can leave,which might be never.
1563 01:12:25 I gotta watch this.
1564 01:12:34 I'm sorry, Bob.
1565 01:12:36 I'm sorry, man.
1566 01:12:51 Oh, Jesus!
1567 01:13:00 What the hell?
1568 01:13:02 Hey! Hey!
1569 01:13:06 Don't move!
1570 01:13:07 You get your hands off!Get them off the keyboard!
1571 01:13:09 - What are you doing, Calvin?- Give me your keycard!
1572 01:13:12 Give me your keycard!
1573 01:13:14 Give it to me.
1574 01:13:15 - Okay...- Go sit down.
1575 01:13:16 Okay. Yeah.
1576 01:13:18 Sorry. I'm sorry.
1577 01:13:20 - Sit down! Sit down!- Okay, okay, okay.
1578 01:13:24 You know, Bob?
1579 01:13:25 This is actuallymy favorite part of the job.
1580 01:13:28 Thank you for being so uncooperative.
1581 01:13:30 What do you think your little buddy, Joyner,would say if he could see you like this?
1582 01:13:34 Two words.
1583 01:13:35 I'm in.
1584 01:13:37 What-what?
1585 01:13:39 You're making a big mistake, Mr. Joyner.
1586 01:13:42 That's only if I'm wrong.
1587 01:13:45 Come on, Bob. Let's go!
1588 01:13:47 What're you doing? Come on, man!
1589 01:13:50 Okay, listen to me. Bob, I'm sorry.
1590 01:13:53 I'm sorry I double-crossed you.You hear me?
1591 01:13:55 I should've believed you,I should've trusted you, and I didn't.
1592 01:13:57 I'm sorry for that.
1593 01:13:58 Listen to me. Bob,we don't have time for this, man!
1594 01:14:01 I need you to tap intothat super-spy stuff
1595 01:14:03 and I need you to get us the hellout of here right now. Do you hear me?
1596 01:14:06 I'm not a super spy, Calvin.
1597 01:14:09 I'm Robbie Wheirdicht, super tool.
1598 01:14:11 No, stop. You're not a super tool.
1599 01:14:14 You're not even Robbie Wheirdicht.You're Bob Stone!
1600 01:14:17 - I made that name up.- So what?
1601 01:14:19 - It's not real.- What does that mean? What does that mean?
1602 01:14:21 You think Mr. T and Stingwere born with those names?
1603 01:14:26 How do you think I gotthe name "Golden Jet" at high school?
1604 01:14:28 - 'Cause you're awesome.- No, that's not how.
1605 01:14:32 In the eighth grade, I ran track.It was my first race.
1606 01:14:35 Okay, the race came downto me and this other kid.
1607 01:14:38 I wanted to win the race so damn bad
1608 01:14:40 that I ended up peeing in my pantsat the finish line.
1609 01:14:42 That's how I got the name "Golden Jet."
1610 01:14:45 So, take it from a guy who's literallypissed his pants in front of everybody
1611 01:14:48 just to win a race.
1612 01:14:49 You are who you decide to be.
1613 01:14:52 And you chose to bean international CIA spy.
1614 01:14:55 Come on, man.You get to kill people for a living.
1615 01:14:57 How cool is that?
1616 01:15:00 I don't know.
1617 01:15:03 Kinda cool I guess.
1618 01:15:05 What do you mean "kinda cool"?Ain't no kinda cool.
1619 01:15:07 Stop it! It's awesome.
1620 01:15:09 Now, come on, man. We boys?
1621 01:15:12 - We're boys.- Oh!
1622 01:15:15 Sorry, Jet.
1623 01:15:16 Oh, God!
1624 01:15:19 Oh, God!
1625 01:15:20 See? Good as new.
1626 01:15:23 Wow. Sorry, man.
1627 01:15:29 Go, go!
1628 01:15:31 Get me out!
1629 01:15:32 He got the jump on us. Give me the key.
1630 01:15:37 Look out, Bob!
1631 01:15:39 Here, Jet! Get him!
1632 01:15:42 Watch out!
1633 01:15:52 Did you see that, Bob?
1634 01:15:53 I did the thing! I did the thing, Bob!
1635 01:15:55 Yeah!
1636 01:15:57 Yeah! Yeah!
1637 01:15:59 - Come on! Follow me!- Let's do it!
1638 01:16:00 No! What the fuck am I doing?Here! You get the gun.
1639 01:16:03 - I'm behind you. Go.- All right.
1640 01:16:09 Oh, my God. There's two of them.
1641 01:16:11 Yeah, I'll distract themand you open the door, okay?
1642 01:16:14 - What? No!- Let's roll.
1643 01:16:15 No, no.
1644 01:16:18 Go, go!
1645 01:16:20 - Close in!- Moving out!
1646 01:16:23 - Freeze, Bob!- Sorry about this, guys.
1647 01:16:28 Nope, come here.
1648 01:16:39 Come on.
1649 01:16:41 Wrong keycard, pal. Turn around.
1650 01:16:45 You needed this one.
1651 01:16:47 On the ground, now.
1652 01:16:48 Can I say something first?
1653 01:16:49 - What?- This is going to hurt.
1654 01:16:54 - Hey, get the keycard! Let's roll.- All right, all right.
1655 01:16:59 Which car are we taking?
1656 01:17:02 Not that one.
1657 01:17:03 Oh, my God.
1658 01:17:05 Oh, God. Oh, sh...
1659 01:17:08 Oh.
1660 01:17:09 Here we go, Jet.
1661 01:17:13 - Bob, they are shooting at us!- It's okay, it's bulletproof.
1662 01:17:15 Drive, drive!
1663 01:17:28 Here you go, Jet.
1664 01:17:30 What's this?
1665 01:17:31 Bug-out bag, courtesy of the CIA.
1666 01:17:34 Go ahead and grab thatencrypted phone in there.
1667 01:17:35 For what?
1668 01:17:36 You still have the bank transaction code?
1669 01:17:38 How are transaction numbers gonna help usfind out where the bad guys are?
1670 01:17:41 Well, it's not bank transactionnumbers or codes, it's actually...
1671 01:17:44 Longitude and latitude.
1672 01:17:47 Look at the spy brainon the Jet! What-what!
1673 01:17:51 You're like a chocolate Google.
1674 01:17:53 Bob, don't do that. Stop it. Stop it.
1675 01:17:55 You're getting good at this, man.
1676 01:17:57 Yeah, you're absolutely right.It's longitude and latitude.
1677 01:17:59 All you gotta do is plug thosedigits into the GPS, and boom!
1678 01:18:02 We're gonna catch the buyerand The Badger, just like that.
1679 01:18:07 Boston.
1680 01:18:12 We're gonna need a plane.
1681 01:18:27 You ever steal a plane before?
1682 01:18:29 - I stole some Starbursts one time.- Mmm-hmm.
1683 01:18:31 So I don't knowif that compares or anything,
1684 01:18:34 but I wasn't successful with that.
1685 01:18:35 On the way out, I dropped 'em.
1686 01:18:37 Dropped the whole bag. The guy caught me.
1687 01:18:38 "What's that?" I just said, "A Starburst."
1688 01:18:40 Told him myself. It was a mess.
1689 01:18:44 Check it out. The universe provides.
1690 01:18:49 Oh.
1691 01:18:52 Golden Jet.
1692 01:18:54 - Golden Jet.- Golden Jet.
1693 01:18:59 - It's just one guard in there.- All right.
1694 01:19:01 90% of spy work is distraction.
1695 01:19:03 You get in there and distract that guard,I'm gonna get us a plane.
1696 01:19:06 What?
1697 01:19:09 I don't know what the hell you expect...
1698 01:19:13 Bob!
1699 01:19:14 Bob!
1700 01:19:16 Fuck!
1701 01:19:18 Fuck you, Bob!
1702 01:19:20 Damn it!
1703 01:19:29 Hey, I need a plane.
1704 01:19:32 Sir, you cannot be in here.This is a private airfield.
1705 01:19:35 I understand that but I have an organin this cooler right now
1706 01:19:38 that needs to get transported ASAP.
1707 01:19:40 Really?
1708 01:19:41 Because my sister-in-lawhad a heart transplant last year
1709 01:19:45 and they did not bring itin a Playmate lunch cooler.
1710 01:19:48 I hate to break it to you,
1711 01:19:50 but this is not a...
1712 01:19:53 - This is not a heart.- It's not a heart?
1713 01:19:55 No, it's not.
1714 01:19:56 Hmm. What is it then?
1715 01:19:58 - It's a dick.- Okay.
1716 01:20:02 I am made of questions right now.
1717 01:20:04 Well, you don't have to ask.
1718 01:20:06 Last night, lady got into it with a man.
1719 01:20:08 She ended up cutting his pecker off.
1720 01:20:09 She left with it, got in a car, drove,
1721 01:20:11 got on 95, threw it out the window.
1722 01:20:14 The second largest penis huntin the state history.
1723 01:20:17 The man was Korean, so you betterbelieve it took a long time to find.
1724 01:20:20 You're stereotyping Korean dicks.
1725 01:20:22 That's racist.
1726 01:20:23 I've seen Korean dicks bigger than you.
1727 01:20:25 Okay, after finding it,the guy brought it to me,
1728 01:20:28 and he said, "Do your due diligence ingetting this dick where it's got to go."
1729 01:20:31 That's what I do.
1730 01:20:32 I'm a dick deliverer specialist.
1731 01:20:35 Oh, DDS?
1732 01:20:36 Like a dentist but for dicks.
1733 01:20:39 Uh...
1734 01:20:41 So, people are like,"Here's a dick. Find a plane."
1735 01:20:44 That's how you do it?You're like an Uber for dicks?
1736 01:20:47 Where do you get these jobs?On Craigslist?
1737 01:20:48 Okay, sir, we don't needto demean each other here.
1738 01:20:50 I don't believe a word you're saying.
1739 01:20:52 Let me see it.
1740 01:20:54 I have no problem showing you this.
1741 01:20:56 So if you wanna see itthen get ready to see.
1742 01:20:59 - Here I go.- Go for it.
1743 01:21:02 Oh, shit! Oh, shit.
1744 01:21:05 I'm just kidding. This is my friend.
1745 01:21:08 - Oh!- It's my buddy.
1746 01:21:10 His name's Snake Gyllenhaal.
1747 01:21:12 - He guards my lunch.- Okay, that's enough.
1748 01:21:38 It's gotta be Harris, right?
1749 01:21:40 What do you mean?
1750 01:21:42 I mean, she's gotta be The Black Badger.
1751 01:21:43 It's the only thing that makes sense.
1752 01:21:45 I mean, she's had accessto the encryption codes
1753 01:21:47 and she's so hot and bothered aboutpinning this whole thing on you.
1754 01:21:49 It's gotta be her!
1755 01:21:51 I don't know, Jet.
1756 01:21:52 I'm pretty sure she thinksI'm The Black Badger.
1757 01:21:54 She worked me over pretty goodin that interrogation room.
1758 01:21:57 Hold on, wait, wait... What's going on?
1759 01:21:59 What's that?What's going on right now, Bob?
1760 01:22:02 No biggie. We're completely outta gas.
1761 01:22:04 Oh, my... Oh!
1762 01:22:07 We're going down, Jet!There's nothing I can do!
1763 01:22:10 - Oh, shit!- Really quickly...
1764 01:22:13 What's the one thingyou wish you'd done in your life?
1765 01:22:16 The one thing I wish I hadn't doneis not get in a plane with a guy
1766 01:22:19 who didn't check the goddamned fuel!
1767 01:22:21 - Why wouldn't you check the fuel?- No, something that's real.
1768 01:22:24 What's the one thingyou regret not doing for you?
1769 01:22:27 Oh, my God! I think we're gonna die!
1770 01:22:34 Not having a kid, man!
1771 01:22:36 Not being a father!
1772 01:22:37 I regret not being a father!
1773 01:22:40 Maggie, I should've gave you a kid!
1774 01:22:42 I should've gave you my seed, Maggie!
1775 01:22:45 I should've!
1776 01:22:46 I'm so selfish!
1777 01:22:49 I'm sorry, Maggie!
1778 01:22:55 - That wasn't so hard, right?- What?
1779 01:22:58 Hey, just for the record,
1780 01:22:59 I think you'd make a great dad.
1781 01:23:02 Did you just fake this whole thing?
1782 01:23:04 Yeah, kinda.
1783 01:23:05 You gotta be shitting me glory!
1784 01:23:07 No, not at all.
1785 01:23:09 I just thought that maybe afacing-your-own-death situation
1786 01:23:11 might help motivate youto clarify some of your goals in life.
1787 01:23:14 And, hey, between me and you,
1788 01:23:16 I know you've been strugglinga little bit.
1789 01:23:19 You know what I'm struggling withright now, Bob?
1790 01:23:21 Not whooping your ass.
1791 01:23:23 Okay, Jet.Hey, you're really cute when you cry.
1792 01:23:25 Stop it! Enough!
1793 01:23:40 I don't get it.
1794 01:23:42 I mean, if these coordinates are correct,we should be standing right on top of it.
1795 01:23:45 The deal doesn't go downfor another 30 minutes, Jet,
1796 01:23:48 - so we're kinda early.- No!
1797 01:23:51 Why would you do itout in the open like this?
1798 01:23:52 Why would you take that risk?
1799 01:23:54 Just doesn't make any sense, man.
1800 01:23:57 Shit! Come on.
1801 01:24:01 Wait.
1802 01:24:04 Oh, wait. It's not happening up here.
1803 01:24:07 No, it's not. It's...
1804 01:24:12 Oh, it's happening beneath us. Look.
1805 01:24:14 It's an underground parking garage.
1806 01:24:17 Yeah, that's a good eye, Jet.
1807 01:24:19 Why don't you stay up here?Keep overwatch.
1808 01:24:21 I'll go down there and check things out.
1809 01:24:23 Wait, what? No, I'm going with you.
1810 01:24:25 You can't go with me.The smarter play is if we split up.
1811 01:24:28 Smarter play for who?
1812 01:24:30 Do you know what happenswhen people split up, Bob?
1813 01:24:31 Somebody dies!
1814 01:24:33 I'd be the one to die. You know why?
1815 01:24:34 Because I don't have a bulletproof vestand I don't have a gun!
1816 01:24:37 Which means that youare my bulletproof vest!
1817 01:24:39 My little black ass is gonna staybehind you, you're not leaving me!
1818 01:24:41 That's exactly whyyou should stay up here.
1819 01:24:43 Look, if you went downin that garage and you got shot to death,
1820 01:24:46 you know how hurt I would be?
1821 01:24:47 I'd be super bummed out!I don't want that.
1822 01:24:49 It's safer for you up here.
1823 01:24:51 If something happened up here,what am I supposed to do, Bob?
1824 01:24:53 How do I get your attention?Make a bird call?
1825 01:24:57 Does that sound like a bird to you? Huh?
1826 01:24:59 That's my biggest weakness!I can't make bird noises.
1827 01:25:01 I never could.
1828 01:25:03 So if that's whatI gotta depend on to live,
1829 01:25:04 it means I'm gonna die!I'mma die up here, by myself
1830 01:25:07 sounding like a dead-ass pigeon.
1831 01:25:12 - I have no idea what a pigeon...- Jet, Jet, Jet, Jet, Jet!
1832 01:25:14 You don't have to make bird noises.
1833 01:25:16 You don't have to sound like a pigeon.
1834 01:25:17 All you gotta do is call me onthe encrypted phone that's in your hand.
1835 01:25:27 - Okay?- Okay, yeah.
1836 01:25:29 - I'll be right back.- Okay.
1837 01:25:30 All right?
1838 01:25:32 Oh, Jet.
1839 01:25:34 I'll see you on the other side.
1840 01:25:37 Yeah.
1841 01:25:38 Yeah.
1842 01:26:05 You're early.
1843 01:26:07 So are you.
1844 01:26:11 Come on.
1845 01:26:23 Oh, my God!
1846 01:26:28 Oh, my God.
1847 01:26:31 I knew it.
1848 01:26:32 I knew it. I knewshe was The Black Badger!
1849 01:26:35 Oh, my God!
1850 01:26:37 Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone.
1851 01:26:39 Yello?
1852 01:26:40 Bob, Harris is The Black Badger!
1853 01:26:43 Hello?
1854 01:26:45 Harris is The Black Badger!
1855 01:26:46 I can't hear you.
1856 01:26:47 Harris is The Black Badger!
1857 01:26:51 Just kidding! I'm not here.Leave a message at the beep.
1858 01:26:53 What?
1859 01:27:05 Oh. Harris is The Black Badger!
1860 01:27:06 Harris is The Black Badger!
1861 01:27:08 I knew it. I knew it.Harris is The Black Badger!
1862 01:27:12 Bob! Harris is The...
1863 01:27:15 Who is he?
1864 01:27:17 That's my partner.
1865 01:27:32 I don't like splitting my fees.
1866 01:27:35 The package. Please.
1867 01:27:39 Thought you'd never ask.
1868 01:27:41 Wait! You're making a mistake.
1869 01:27:46 Hello, Bob.
1870 01:27:49 But you're dead.
1871 01:27:51 Not as much as people think.
1872 01:27:54 Look, he's not The Black Badger...
1873 01:27:57 I am.
1874 01:27:59 And those aren't the encryption codes,
1875 01:28:01 these are.
1876 01:28:02 He's lying to you.
1877 01:28:04 This man is a CIA agent,
1878 01:28:05 and he's trying to sell you bogus plans.
1879 01:28:14 Damn.
1880 01:28:17 Ow, ow.
1881 01:28:22 He shot me.
1882 01:28:27 These are the real codes
1883 01:28:30 and I am the real Black Badger.
1884 01:28:36 Bob is The Black Badger.
1885 01:28:39 Bob is The Black Badger.
1886 01:28:40 I am The Black Badger.
1887 01:28:43 Phil?
1888 01:28:45 No, I'm The Black Badger.
1889 01:28:48 I'm starting to thinkI might be The Black Badger.
1890 01:28:53 Here's the thing.
1891 01:28:55 I have no ideawho is the real Black Badger.
1892 01:28:59 And I don't care.
1893 01:29:01 'Cause I'm The Honey Badger.
1894 01:29:03 And The Honey Badger doesn't give a shit.
1895 01:29:05 The Honey Badger's nasty.
1896 01:29:06 He's so nasty, he'll take them both.
1897 01:29:10 Hand them over.
1898 01:29:11 Phil, when this thing is over,
1899 01:29:14 I'm going to rip your throat outlike Patrick Swayze in Road House.
1900 01:29:18 Oh, my God. You and Road House.
1901 01:29:19 Get over that movie.
1902 01:29:21 It sucked then, it sucks now.
1903 01:29:23 Fuck Patrick Swayze!
1904 01:29:25 How dare you!
1905 01:29:32 Drop your weapons!
1906 01:29:39 Oh! Oh, shit!
1907 01:29:52 The codes.
1908 01:29:54 Don't do it.
1909 01:29:55 Stupid.
1910 01:29:59 Okay.
1911 01:30:00 One,
1912 01:30:03 two,
1913 01:30:05 three! Shit!
1914 01:30:11 Uh-oh! Oh!
1915 01:30:13 No!
1916 01:30:15 He's got the codes!
1917 01:30:51 Whoo!
1918 01:30:52 I mean, this is crazy, right?
1919 01:30:54 You stay the hell away from me, Bob!
1920 01:30:56 You shot me in the neck!
1921 01:31:00 Jet!
1922 01:31:22 Okay.
1923 01:31:28 Golden Jet for the win!
1924 01:31:32 No. Shit!
1925 01:31:33 Drop your weapon, Bob.
1926 01:31:36 Oh, shit!
1927 01:31:37 Get behind me, Mr. Joyner.
1928 01:31:39 Ah, you don't wanna do that, Jet.
1929 01:31:41 It's obvious he's the bad guy.
1930 01:31:42 I'm the good guy. You wanna get behind me.
1931 01:31:44 Agent Harris had me go dark
1932 01:31:46 to get Bob to reveal himselfas The Black Badger.
1933 01:31:49 You don't seriouslybelieve this guy, do you?
1934 01:31:51 You wanna get behind me, Jet.
1935 01:31:52 You betrayed your nation, Bob.
1936 01:31:54 You betrayed your partner, Phil.
1937 01:31:57 Okay, no, wait! Everybody just stop!
1938 01:32:00 Cut the shit!
1939 01:32:02 I'mma cut the line right now!
1940 01:32:04 I cut the shit!
1941 01:32:05 Hear me? Now I don't carewho betrayed who.
1942 01:32:07 Okay? I just don't wanna get hurt!
1943 01:32:09 So there ain't gonna be no... Shit!
1944 01:32:20 Come on.
1945 01:32:37 Shi...
1946 01:32:43 Shit.
1947 01:33:03 Smart move, Mr. Joyner.
1948 01:33:05 You've done your country a great service.
1949 01:33:07 Now, hand me the firearm
1950 01:33:10 and we'll turn overthe satellite codes together.
1951 01:33:13 Stay right there, man.Don't you take another step.
1952 01:33:17 Just because I shot himdoes not mean I trust you.
1953 01:33:20 We don't have time for this.
1954 01:33:21 Stop! I said, "Stop."
1955 01:33:25 Aw, whoopsie.
1956 01:33:31 Nice throw, bitch.
1957 01:33:38 You wanna know why your pal Bobcould never have been The Black Badger?
1958 01:33:43 It's because he's too weak.
1959 01:33:46 And if I had to hearanother goddamned story
1960 01:33:48 about Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner
1961 01:33:51 and how awesome you were in high school
1962 01:33:54 and how you werethis big idiot's best friend,
1963 01:33:56 I was just gonna lose it.
1964 01:33:59 Looking at you right now,you don't seem so cool.
1965 01:34:03 You just seem like a regular guy.
1966 01:34:07 An everyday Joe.
1967 01:34:09 You know, faking my own deathwas the easy part.
1968 01:34:13 But dealing with Bob, day after day,was the hard part.
1969 01:34:17 Hey, Phil.
1970 01:34:18 What, Bob?
1971 01:34:20 I'll see you on the other side.
1972 01:34:23 No, I hope we don't. All right?
1973 01:34:25 Just, no. Bye, bye, bye.
1974 01:34:27 Just go.
1975 01:34:28 I made up the Black Badger,rigged up a blood bag
1976 01:34:31 and that big dummy bought it.
1977 01:34:32 Bob!
1978 01:34:34 No, no! Hang on, buddy.
1979 01:34:36 No, there's some sort of bomb in here.
1980 01:34:38 You're pushing it closed, I think.
1981 01:34:40 - No, no, no. Sorry.- No, don't give up!
1982 01:34:42 Bye, Bob.
1983 01:34:44 I'm getting away witha half a billion dollars.
1984 01:34:46 And Boy Scout Bob is gonnaspend his life in prison.
1985 01:34:50 Ain't America great?
1986 01:34:52 So now you're gonna bethe second partner of Bob's to die.
1987 01:34:57 Just relax.
1988 01:34:58 On your knees, Golden Jet.
1989 01:35:11 What the hell was that?
1990 01:35:14 Golden Jet flip.
1991 01:35:16 Yeah? Well, you really suck at it.
1992 01:35:19 I know.
1993 01:35:20 Then why'd you do it?
1994 01:35:22 Distraction.
1995 01:35:27 Oh, you just pulled his throat out!
1996 01:35:31 I'll see you on the other side.
1997 01:35:38 Jet, come here.Give me your hand, old buddy.
1998 01:35:40 Oh, shit! Get that away from me!
1999 01:35:42 Sorry, Jet.
2000 01:35:44 Come here, Jet. That was a trachea.
2001 01:35:46 Great distraction, man!
2002 01:35:48 Sorry I had to shoot you, Jet.
2003 01:35:49 It was the only wayI could save your life.
2004 01:35:51 But when you shot meto get Phil to confess
2005 01:35:54 that he was The Black Badger,that was some next-level-type shit!
2006 01:35:57 Yeah, no.I'm glad you see it the way I saw it.
2007 01:36:01 That was my plan the whole time. So...
2008 01:36:03 You are a natural for this line of work.
2009 01:36:05 I mean, you're smart, you gotthe skill set, you're a people person
2010 01:36:08 and you already got a dope-ass code name,"The Golden Jet!" What?
2011 01:36:11 But in the meantime,we gotta get those encryption codes
2012 01:36:13 over to Harris right awayor we're gonna be late.
2013 01:36:15 What are you talking about? Late for what?
2014 01:36:20 The reunion, dude. What-what!This shit's on!
2015 01:36:27 Bob. Damn it.
2016 01:36:52 Bob!
2017 01:36:53 One more thing.
2018 01:36:54 Thanks for securing the satellite codes.
2019 01:36:56 You really saved my ass.
2020 01:36:58 Your country thanks you.
2021 01:37:00 Just doing my job.
2022 01:37:01 I'm really sorry about your hand.I hope you know that wasn't personal.
2023 01:37:04 Oh, no hard feelings at all, Pam.
2024 01:37:06 Besides, everybody makes mistakes.
2025 01:37:07 Calvin, here, thoughtyou were The Black Badger.
2026 01:37:11 I don't... No, I don't think...
2027 01:37:13 When we were in the plane,you said, "Hey, Harris is the Black..."
2028 01:37:15 I think you should... Maybe I...
2029 01:37:17 Mr. Joyner, it was a pleasureworking with you.
2030 01:37:20 If you ever want a career change,you give me a call.
2031 01:37:24 If I were to give you a call,how would I get in touch with you?
2032 01:37:26 Just pick up any phone in your house.
2033 01:37:28 They're all bugged.
2034 01:37:31 You're crazy. Hey, you're crazy!
2035 01:37:33 That's a good one.
2036 01:37:35 Calvin! I got your textand came right over.
2037 01:37:38 Where the hell have you been?Why did you get out of a helicopter?
2038 01:37:41 Hey, uh, Maggie.
2039 01:37:43 Uh, hi!
2040 01:37:45 Babe, why is Dr. Dan with you?
2041 01:37:47 Well... Uh...
2042 01:37:48 That's not Dr. Dan.
2043 01:37:50 Allow me to properly introduce myself.
2044 01:37:52 My name is Bob Stone, the artistformerly known as Robbie Wheirdicht.
2045 01:37:57 I work for the CIA.
2046 01:37:58 I roped your husbandinto helping me track down a traitor,
2047 01:38:00 who was gonna sellmilitary state secrets to a terrorist.
2048 01:38:03 We did all that, we stopped them,we saved the free world, and here we are.
2049 01:38:09 What the hell is going on?
2050 01:38:10 Okay, listen, listen.
2051 01:38:12 I've been a fool. All right?
2052 01:38:14 I thought that my life was a failure.
2053 01:38:16 I thought that it wasn't special.But it is special.
2054 01:38:19 It's special because I have you in it.
2055 01:38:21 You are my world.You are what makes me special!
2056 01:38:24 You're everything to me, Mags.
2057 01:38:27 I love you.
2058 01:38:29 I love you.
2059 01:38:35 Okay.
2060 01:38:37 Here come the waterworks.
2061 01:38:39 I promised myself I wouldn't do this.
2062 01:38:43 - Come on, come on.- Okay.
2063 01:38:48 - That's Robbie Wheirdicht?- Yeah.
2064 01:39:12 - Hi, Brian.- Hi, Gail.
2065 01:39:14 Guys, this isn't a good idea.You know what?
2066 01:39:16 I'll just meet you later.I shouldn't have come.
2067 01:39:18 Wait, wait, wait.
2068 01:39:20 Bob, calm down, okay? Listen to me.
2069 01:39:23 Tonight is not gonna behow high school was for you 20 years ago.
2070 01:39:25 I promise.
2071 01:39:27 Attention, por favor.
2072 01:39:29 And now, for the momentyou've all been waiting for,
2073 01:39:33 tonight's vote for the reunionhomecoming king and queen!
2074 01:39:38 We'll announce the queen in one moment.
2075 01:39:40 But first, without further ado...
2076 01:39:43 The new homecoming king
2077 01:39:45 for the Central High School Centaurs,Class of 1996 is...
2078 01:39:49 I really gotta pee, Jet.
2079 01:39:50 Bob Stone!
2080 01:39:54 Do we have a Bob Stone?
2081 01:39:56 Here he is, Bob Stone, huh!
2082 01:39:59 Yeah!
2083 01:40:01 Go on, get your rock-hard ass up there.
2084 01:40:04 For reals?
2085 01:40:05 For reals, for reals. Go ahead, man.
2086 01:40:08 Whoo!
2087 01:40:09 You did it, big guy!
2088 01:40:17 How did Bob Stone win homecoming king?
2089 01:40:20 I hacked into the votes on the flight in.
2090 01:40:23 Calvin Joyner, forensic accountant,at your service.
2091 01:40:27 I had no idea you could do that.
2092 01:40:30 There's a lot of thingsthat you don't know about me, Maggie.
2093 01:40:34 No, scratch that I said that.
2094 01:40:35 It was supposed tocome out cool. It didn't.
2095 01:40:37 It was something I thought of,it was like a...
2096 01:40:38 Forget it.
2097 01:40:41 Well, well, let's hear it for him!
2098 01:40:43 Fat Robbie made good.
2099 01:40:44 King Robbie Weird Dick, our naked mascot.
2100 01:40:48 Why don't you justget out of the way, Trevor?
2101 01:40:50 Or what, Golden Jet?
2102 01:40:51 You're gonna hop up hereand punch me in the belt?
2103 01:40:53 Simmer down, Ant-Man.
2104 01:40:54 - You know what? That's it. That's it.- It's okay.
2105 01:40:56 - It's all right.- No, I've had it!
2106 01:40:58 - I got it, Jet. It's okay.- It's okay.
2107 01:40:59 I'll handle it.
2108 01:41:01 Whoa, whoa! Hang on. I'm not buyingthis whole transformation
2109 01:41:05 from ugly duckling into swan.
2110 01:41:07 No one in here is.
2111 01:41:08 You can fly in, in a bunch of helicoptersand dress up in a thousand suits,
2112 01:41:12 but to everybody, including me,you'll always just be the fat kid.
2113 01:41:18 I've been thinkingabout this a lot, Trevor.
2114 01:41:21 And the only thing I want to sayto you is I forgive you.
2115 01:41:25 You forgive me! Oh, boy! For what?
2116 01:41:28 For being rad as shit.
2117 01:41:29 Fuck you, fat boy.
2118 01:41:31 Still a scared little bitch.
2119 01:41:36 I don't like bullies.
2120 01:41:41 And the name is Bob Stone, bitch!
2121 01:41:44 Whoo-whoo!
2122 01:41:46 Come on, baby. Step over.
2123 01:41:51 Hi, everybody!
2124 01:41:53 Most of you knew me back in high school as
2125 01:41:57 Robbie Wheirdicht.
2126 01:41:59 - That's Robbie Wheirdicht?- No way!
2127 01:42:01 I wore prescription pants every day.
2128 01:42:05 Twenty years ago, in this gym,
2129 01:42:09 I stood in front of you all
2130 01:42:12 naked
2131 01:42:13 and embarrassed.
2132 01:42:16 Some of you might remember that day.
2133 01:42:19 A lot of you probably even laughed.
2134 01:42:22 But that's okay.
2135 01:42:25 Tonight's gonna be different because
2136 01:42:28 my best friend is here with me.
2137 01:42:33 And he taught me what it meansto be the hero of your own story.
2138 01:42:41 Would you hold this for me, please?
2139 01:42:44 Being the hero of your own story
2140 01:42:46 isn't about stopping bad guysor climbing mountains.
2141 01:42:50 It's about overcoming bulliesin your life,
2142 01:42:54 whatever or whomever they may be.
2143 01:42:58 It's about putting it all out there
2144 01:43:01 for everyone
2145 01:43:03 to see.
2146 01:43:05 And it's realizing that, in life,
2147 01:43:07 the most important thing that you can be
2148 01:43:11 is yourself.
2149 01:43:13 So, Central High, Class of 1996,
2150 01:43:18 this is me, Robbie Wheirdicht.
2151 01:43:32 Oh, my God! Bob just went commando!
2152 01:43:36 Yes! Yes!
2153 01:43:43 Way to go, Bob!
2154 01:43:45 Be you!
2155 01:43:47 Robbie! Robbie! Robbie!
2156 01:43:49 Robbie! Robbie! Robbie!
2157 01:43:58 Hey, man!
2158 01:43:59 Dude, this is amazing!I'm so happy for you!
2159 01:44:01 Thank you, Jet! I feel so free!
2160 01:44:03 - Come here.- No, no, no.
2161 01:44:05 Your junk is out.
2162 01:44:07 - Oh. Sorry, Jet.- Excuse me.
2163 01:44:12 Hi, Robbie.
2164 01:44:14 - You probably don't remember me.- Darla.
2165 01:44:18 - Is that Darla McGuckian?- Yeah.
2166 01:44:20 Wow! She looks great!
2167 01:44:22 Didn't she used to have a lazy eye?
2168 01:44:24 - Two of them.- Wow.
2169 01:44:25 I can't believe you remember me.
2170 01:44:28 Remember you?
2171 01:44:29 How could I forget you?
2172 01:44:32 You still have the same sweet smile,the same sweet face.
2173 01:44:36 But your hair's changed.You used to wear it curlier.
2174 01:44:39 I like it though.
2175 01:44:41 You haven't changed at all.
2176 01:44:42 Oh, I don't know.
2177 01:44:50 You're still as beautiful as ever.
2178 01:44:52 Oh.
2179 01:45:03 - Yeah, Bob!- Go, Bob!
2180 01:45:05 No, no, no.
2181 01:45:14 Oh, I got spinny.
2182 01:45:16 Super spinny.
2183 01:45:21 Yeah, that's nice.
2184 01:45:23 - Can I take you to get ice-cream...- Yes.
2185 01:45:27 Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
2186 01:45:29 Super lactose intolerant, but that's okay.Let's roll the dice.
2187 01:45:35 That's my jam!
2188 01:45:37 Go show them what you got.
2189 01:45:38 - All right, Darla.- Okay.
2190 01:45:40 Darla, hi. Calvin.
2191 01:45:42 Hi, Colin. Nice to meet you.
2192 01:45:44 - Calvin.- And Maggie.
2193 01:45:46 Maggie, hi!
2194 01:45:48 Hi. You look so good.
2195 01:45:51 - My gosh, you look the same.- You do too.
2196 01:45:53 Oh, I don't know.
2197 01:45:54 You probably remember meas The Golden Jet.
2198 01:45:57 Your name's Golden Jeff? Hi, Jeff.
2199 01:46:00 It's okay. Good to see you.
2200 01:46:05 - Good going, Bob!- Come on, Bob!
2201 01:46:23 - All right.- Good luck!
2202 01:46:25 - Love you.- I love you.
2203 01:46:26 I love you, too, little Golden Jet!
2204 01:46:31 Mmm...
2205 01:46:32 Okay. Uh...
2206 01:46:34 How long do you think he's been there?
2207 01:46:37 Hmm, probably since last night.
2208 01:46:39 All right, babe, I'll see you later.
2209 01:46:41 Have fun with your friend!
2210 01:46:48 Who, me?
2211 01:46:49 Yes, you.
2212 01:47:00 Wow, Jet!
2213 01:47:01 You look amazing!
2214 01:47:03 - Do you think?- Oh, what? Yes!
2215 01:47:05 I just didn't know the kind of lookto go for on my first day at the agency.
2216 01:47:08 You look like a black Will Smith,or something.
2217 01:47:10 Okay, I'm not sure if that's racistor not, but I'll take it as a compliment.
2218 01:47:13 All right, cool. Yeah, come on!
2219 01:47:15 Okay.
2220 01:47:17 All right. Don't be nervous.
2221 01:47:18 You are gonna do great.They're gonna love you!
2222 01:47:20 Oh, Jet, Jet, Jet!
2223 01:47:22 Um, before we go, man, uh...
2224 01:47:24 I got a surprise for you.
2225 01:47:27 Okay. What's the surprise?
2226 01:47:29 Well, you gotta close your eyes first.
2227 01:47:33 Eyes are closed.
2228 01:47:34 No peeking.
2229 01:47:41 Open your eyes.
2230 01:47:46 Is that my... Is that my jacket?
2231 01:47:49 Yes!
2232 01:47:50 - Bob, is that my jacket?- Yes!
2233 01:47:52 - No, wait a minute.- Yes!
2234 01:47:54 Oh, my God!
2235 01:47:56 Dude, where'd you get this from?
2236 01:47:57 Well, I sleep in it most nights,but it's clean now, totally good. Yeah!
2237 01:48:01 Man! You are the man! Yes!
2238 01:48:04 - Family hug! What?- Ooh. Okay.
2239 01:48:09 All right, let's go!
2240 01:48:10 - Okay.- All right.
2241 01:48:26 You still ride?
2242 01:48:28 Cut! The fire department's here.
2243 01:48:31 All right. That's our cue, guys!
2244 01:48:34 Here we are shooting Central Intelligence.
2245 01:48:36 They shut us down.The fire trucks are out here.
2246 01:48:38 - Shut the fuck up!- Will you get the fuck out of my video?
2247 01:48:40 I'mma slap the dogshit out of you.
2248 01:48:41 Why do you do your video behind me?
2249 01:48:42 - I'm trying to do my video!- This is my video!
2250 01:48:44 - You're in my fucking video!- I'm pissed off.
2251 01:48:45 Watch your mouth,I'll slap the shit out of you.
2252 01:48:47 Fuck you!
2253 01:48:49 Okay. You have it your way.
2254 01:48:52 You leave me no choice.
2255 01:48:56 Pam...
2256 01:48:58 Tickler! Tickler!
2257 01:48:59 Where are the codes? Where are the codes?
2258 01:49:03 It's just nice.
2259 01:49:06 In here and it's kind of all...
2260 01:49:10 - Oh, my God.- Sorry.
2261 01:49:16 - Can you do both?- Yeah.
2262 01:49:18 Oh, my God!
2263 01:49:22 It's called "soul gazing."
2264 01:49:24 Stare into my souland I'll stare into yours.
2265 01:49:28 - Come in. Shh.- You're not my wife!
2266 01:49:29 Oh, that's it.
2267 01:49:32 - Bob, I'm gonna...- Shh.
2268 01:49:35 I promise you'll never...
2269 01:49:38 Let's keep on, keep on.
2270 01:49:40 Okay, for real this time.
2271 01:49:42 It's for real.This is for real, guys, yeah.
2272 01:49:44 - That's it!- Oh.
2273 01:49:45 One more. Come on.
2274 01:49:47 - I can't do this, I'm not...- Shh.
2275 01:49:48 Oh, my God. I've fucking had it.
2276 01:49:51 Lock it! We're professionals.
2277 01:49:52 - This is what we do. You ready?- Come on, baby!
2278 01:49:54 I'm gonna hit you. I told you!
2279 01:49:56 Fuck!
2280 01:49:59 Are you not a super tool?
2281 01:50:01 You're not even Robbie Wheirdicht.You're Bob Stone!
2282 01:50:04 - I made that name up.- So what?
2283 01:50:05 - It's not real.- What does that mean?
2284 01:50:07 What, you think Mr. T and Sting
2285 01:50:11 and The Rock...
2286 01:50:12 You think those guys are real?
2287 01:50:14 That's a bunch of dumbass nicknamesby a bunch of dumbass people.
2288 01:56:02 Fanny!