香肠派对(Sausage Party)(CN/EN)Subtitles
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1 00:01:26 Oh, shit. Carl. Carl. Carl, Carl! Dude, weslept in again. The song's about to start!
2 00:01:31 Shit, Frank! We can't miss the song.Barry, wake up!
3 00:01:34 What? What? I'm up. I'm up.
4 00:01:35 This song is such an awesome wayto start every morning.
5 00:01:38 It's a nice way of showing the gods howmuch we appreciate everything they'll do...
6 00:01:42 ...once they take us out those doorsto the Great Beyond.
7 00:01:45 God, I love them so fucking much.
8 00:01:47 Oh, shit! Cam's about to start singing!
9 00:01:49 - Drop it, Corn! You got the best voice!-You're the man, Corn!
10 00:01:53 You rule! Take it away, brah!
11 00:01:55 Dear godsYou're so divine in each and every way
12 00:02:00 To you we pray
13 00:02:02 Dear godsWe pledge our love to you
14 00:02:05 Forever more
15 00:02:07 We always felt we had a special bond
16 00:02:12 Take us to the Great Beyond
17 00:02:15 Where we're sureNothing bad happens to food
18 00:02:19 Once we're out the sliding doorsThings will all be grand
19 00:02:23 We will live our dreams togetherIn the Promised Land
20 00:02:26 The gods control our fateSo we all know we're in good hands
21 00:02:30 We're super sure there's nothing shittyWaiting for us in the Great Beyond
22 00:02:36 And every aisleThinks something different
23 00:02:41 Holy shit, I've been chosen!
24 00:02:43 But to this we all agree
25 00:02:48 Booyah, bitches, I'm out of here!
26 00:02:50 Everyone else is fuckin' stupid
27 00:02:57 Except for those who think like me
28 00:03:02 - And me!-And me!
29 00:03:04 And me!
30 00:03:06 Out thereFor all eternity we'll meditate
31 00:03:10 How fucking great
32 00:03:13 Out thereWe'll get to tea-bag every day at 4
33 00:03:17 - Pip!-Pip!
34 00:03:19 We'll shove pimentos up our assBy Zeus
35 00:03:23 We'll exterminate the juice
36 00:03:26 Und subjugateThe whole damn Great Beyond
37 00:03:34 In hereWe keep our wieners in our packages
38 00:03:38 That's how it is
39 00:03:41 It sucks
40 00:03:42 But that's the wayOur buns keep fresh and pure
41 00:03:45 Baby, Dab)'
42 00:03:46 But once we're out the doorsIt's not a sin
43 00:03:51 For us to let youSlip it in
44 00:03:54 In other wordsWe finally get to fuck
45 00:03:59 - And love, and hug-And fuck, and fuck
46 00:04:00 - And feel, and share-And fuck
47 00:04:02 The gods will always care for us
48 00:04:05 They won't squeeze us out their butts
49 00:04:08 We cannot overstateHow confident we are
50 00:04:11 That our beliefs are accurate
51 00:04:13 And nothing awful happens to usIn the Great Beyond
52 00:04:16 Kiss my brownish-yellow ass!
53 00:04:19 I'm going to the Great Beyond,motherfuckers!
54 00:04:25 We need an extra cashierto the front, please.
55 00:04:28 Extra cashier to the front.
56 00:04:32 Boo and yah, motherfuckers.Red, White and Blue Day is tomorrow!
57 00:04:36 Dudes, basically every single sausage...
58 00:04:38 ...gets chosen onRed, White and Blue Day.
59 00:04:40 By this time tomorrow, we're all gonna be5 inches deep in some bun, son.
60 00:04:45 Oh, my God, yes.
61 00:04:46 More like 3 inches deep for Barry,you deformed nerd.
62 00:04:50 Troy, that's funny.
63 00:04:52 You see, this is why I can't waitfor the Great Beyond.
64 00:04:55 We'll all be equal, and then jerks likeTroy won't be picking on me all the time...
65 00:04:59 ...on account of my abnormality.
66 00:05:01 Whatever, Barry. You're different,and that makes you weird.
67 00:05:05 Ignore that prick, Barry. He's full of shit.And don't forget, you've got girth.
68 00:05:10 That's way more important than length.You're a fucking champ.
69 00:05:13 You know, I am girthy. I could fill a bun.They'll know I'm there.
70 00:05:16 I'm sure there's some kind ofsmushed bun out there waiting for me.
71 00:05:20 - Shit, it's the Dark Lord!-Oh, no. He's coming.
72 00:05:22 No, wait! I'm still fresh. I swear!
73 00:05:24 I'm still fresh!
74 00:05:26 - Did he see us?-No way.
75 00:05:27 - We're fucked, bros!-Oh, God, no!
76 00:05:29 Take anyone but us, please!
77 00:05:31 - Oh, no! NO'"No! u
78 00:05:33 - NO! NO!-Why us?!
79 00:05:35 Fuck you, wienies.
80 00:05:41 Fuck, I hate this fucking job!
81 00:05:45 You okay? Everyone okay?
82 00:05:47 That's super fucked upabout Bill and those guys.
83 00:05:49 They stayed in their package,followed all the guidelines of the song.
84 00:05:53 - What do they get?-We're not supposed to understand...
85 00:05:55 ...the will of the gods.They work in mysterious ways.
86 00:05:58 Since we base our lives on the song,it might be nice if there was some proof.
87 00:06:03 Proof? All the proof you needis right in front of you.
88 00:06:06 Look at these big old buns.
89 00:06:08 Yeah! You know it, baby.Work those buns!
90 00:06:12 All of you. All day, "err" day.
91 00:06:16 Lined up, waiting to get filledwith my meat.
92 00:06:19 Right, Carl. You really think any of thesebuns will line up to get filled by you?
93 00:06:24 Here's my impression of that:
94 00:06:25 "Oh, is he in there yet? I can't feel him.I don't think he's in there. Oh, wait. He is."
95 00:06:30 It's so sad. I bet you jackrabbitfor a quick 15 seconds. You're like:
96 00:06:35 And then you slump over.
97 00:06:36 I mean, honestly, guys...
98 00:06:38 ...who in this packagewould ever let Carl get up in them?
99 00:06:42 Roberta, put your fucking hand down.You're ruining my joke.
100 00:06:45 See? Nobody. That's who.
101 00:06:49 Hey, dude, I don't know how to say thisto you gently, but your girlfriend...
102 00:06:56 ...she's a fucking cunt.
103 00:06:57 Shut up. She's fresh as fuck,and you know it.
104 00:06:59 I don't know why you're limiting yourselfto one bun. There's plenty of buns.
105 00:07:03 Because I believe in bunogomy.I'm a bunogamist.
106 00:07:06 And when a bun this fresh is into you,all you ask is when and how deep.
107 00:07:10 And the answer is:
108 00:07:11 As soon as we get to the Great Beyondand as deep as she'll let me.
109 00:07:15 I'm gonna talk to her.
110 00:07:16 Hey, Brenda. What up, girl?
111 00:07:19 Sorry about those guys.Such dicks, right?
112 00:07:21 I can hear you, dude.
113 00:07:23 Shut up. Fuck you.
114 00:07:24 So looks like tomorrow'sthe big day, huh?
115 00:07:28 You and me, finally gonna be official.
116 00:07:30 I'm so happy the godsput our packages together.
117 00:07:33 It's because we belong together.
118 00:07:35 It's like we were made for each other.
119 00:07:37 I can't wait to finally just get up in there.Just raw-dog it.
120 00:07:40 But, full disclosure,I'm pretty fucking nervous about this.
121 00:07:44 I don't know how well I'll performonce it happens.
122 00:07:46 I've obviously never beenin a bun before, so...
123 00:07:49 Hey, I'm not gonna be any better.I've never opened up.
124 00:07:52 I mean, look how tight I am.
125 00:07:55 Oh, sweet fucking fuck.
126 00:07:56 Look, okay, I know it's against the rules,but I can't wait anymore.
127 00:08:01 I need to just feel you.
128 00:08:03 Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
129 00:08:05 - Just the tips?-Just the tips?
130 00:08:07 - I can't believe we're doing this.-I know. We're so naughty.
131 00:08:12 It's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad'sever happened from just the tips.
132 00:08:15 No. No, no, no. No, no, no.
133 00:08:21 Oh, yeah, go in. Put it in there.
134 00:08:23 - Big tip.-Oh, you wouldn't dare.
135 00:08:25 Management to Cash 5.
136 00:08:30 I meant to buy a normal mustard.When I got home...
137 00:08:33 ...I realized I bought honey mustard.
138 00:08:35 - Is it cool if I just go swap it?-I don't give a flying fuck.
139 00:08:43 Holy shit! You're back, man. Crazy!
140 00:08:46 Did you go to the Great Beyond?
141 00:08:49 Don't touch me, man!Ketchup, get your fucking hands off me.
142 00:08:54 - What happened?-Oh, I'll tell you what fucking happened.
143 00:08:57 I'll tell you exactly what happenedin the Great Beyond...
144 00:09:00 ...you dumb, red piece of shit!-What the f--?!
145 00:09:03 As soon as we got out those doors--
146 00:09:07 So you have learned the terrible truth.
147 00:09:10 Congratulations!
148 00:09:11 Now keep it to yourself,or I will slit your throat while you sleep.
149 00:09:15 I swear to God.
150 00:09:16 Oh, my God!Did you guys just hear that?
151 00:09:18 What? What are you looking at?
152 00:09:20 He's gone.
153 00:09:21 Where the fuck did he go?
154 00:09:23 I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up.
155 00:09:26 Ketchup, get the fuck off of me.Nobody fucking touch me!
156 00:09:29 Attention, shoppers. The storeis closing in five minutes. Get out.
157 00:09:34 Hey, hey, hey, look at this.We fucking got one.
158 00:09:37 - Stand up straight, boys!-Hey!
159 00:09:39 Over here! Choose us!
160 00:09:44 We're chosen!
161 00:09:45 Pick us! Pick our package!
162 00:09:50 Brenda!
163 00:09:51 Frank!
164 00:09:53 Oh, man. I'm freaking out.My heart's racing.
165 00:09:56 I'm having an out-of-sausageexperience. Yes!
166 00:09:59 Choose us! Look at us!
167 00:10:01 Oh, please, god.
168 00:10:02 - Choose us. Look at us! Oh, yes!-Please, god.
169 00:10:07 Nice!
170 00:10:08 - Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!-Yes! Frank, we've been chosen together.
171 00:10:11 Fucking A! Yeah!
172 00:10:12 This is so cool!
173 00:10:14 - I'm chosen! I got chosen!-Going to the Promised Land!
174 00:10:17 I'm on my way!
175 00:10:23 Yo! Oh, fuck, yeah, dude.
176 00:10:26 Somebody call a doctorbecause, honestly, this beat is sick.
177 00:10:29 - Actually, I feel great. Real healthy.-Not you, the beat. The song, bro.
178 00:10:35 Oh, shit, Chips!
179 00:10:37 C-H-I-P-S, Chips, Chips, Chips.
180 00:10:40 I've known you forever.I would never disrespect you with a lie.
181 00:10:43 I will tell you very muchthat you look fucking disgusting, bro.
182 00:10:47 Oh, come on.
183 00:10:49 No, I'm just messing with you, bro.But for reals? You gotta hit the gym, bro.
184 00:10:54 Oh, what's up?Yo, are you pink all the way through?
185 00:10:57 I'm fucking with you, but also serious.ls there a different color inside?
186 00:11:02 What are you, even?
187 00:11:03 What do you mean, what am I, dude?I'm a fucking douche!
188 00:11:06 You know how long I've been waitingup in this motherfucker?
189 00:11:09 I was starting to worry the gods didn'twant douches no more, but look at her.
190 00:11:14 She's a fucking 10, bro.
191 00:11:15 The G-O-D is D-T-D...
192 00:11:18 ...dude. Down to douche.
193 00:11:20 “Lav ash, sausages...
194 00:11:21 Oh, honey mustard.
195 00:11:25 What? No.
196 00:11:26 This can't be happening. Not again.
197 00:11:28 Oh, Jesus, not to me. Motherfuck.
198 00:11:30 Get your hands off of me.Get off of me!
199 00:11:32 - Fecking gobshite!-Back off!
200 00:11:35 You don't even knowwhat you're celebrating.
201 00:11:37 You're celebrating your doom!
202 00:11:40 Wake up!They're lying to your fucking faces!
203 00:11:43 The Great Beyond is bullshit!
204 00:11:46 - Why isn't anybody listening to me?-Hey, buddy, are you all right?
205 00:11:49 No, I'm not all right.
206 00:11:51 It's all a lie. Everything you've been told.
207 00:11:53 - Everything you believe in.-Honey Mustard, you acting cray-cray!
208 00:11:57 We shouldn't be talking to this asshole.Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird.
209 00:12:01 What is he? Honey? Is he mustard? Like,make up your mind or just kill yourself.
210 00:12:05 You fucking idiots. I've been there.
211 00:12:07 I've seen that shit,and there ain't no way I'm going back.
212 00:12:10 Wait, you've been to the Great Beyond?
213 00:12:12 "Great," my asshole!
214 00:12:13 Everything we've ever knownis a dirt-covered pile of shit...
215 00:12:16 ...jacking off in our fucking faces...
216 00:12:19 ...covering our eyes with their come...
217 00:12:21 ...so come-covered we can't fucking see!
218 00:12:24 We don't know! We don't know they'rejerking off into our eyes! Our faces!
219 00:12:29 Shut up. The gods are gonna hearyou talking about them--
220 00:12:32 They ain't gods. They're monsters!Horrible, ugly, disgusting monsters!
221 00:12:35 They ain't gonnaget Honey Mustard twice.
222 00:12:38 Fuck you, gods!
223 00:12:39 I've got a date with oblivion.
224 00:12:43 Whoa, just chill.Just get down from the fucking--
225 00:12:47 Oh, shit! He's out of the package!
226 00:12:49 Barry, help!
227 00:12:50 - Oh, fuck, Carl, what do we do?-I don't know!
228 00:12:53 I can't reach him.I'm giving it everything I have.
229 00:12:56 - Frank!-Brenda.
230 00:12:57 Oh, my God!Brenda's out of the package!
231 00:13:00 - I got you! Hold on! Hold on!-I can't hold on!
232 00:13:04 My little glove! It's slipping off!
233 00:13:07 Look at you, following all their rules.You have no idea what's coming.
234 00:13:12 What is that in reference to? What'scoming? Be more specific, please!
235 00:13:16 You want proof? Talk to Firewater.
236 00:13:19 That bastard bottle of boozeseems to know what's going on.
237 00:13:23 No!
238 00:13:27 - Oh, my God.-Did you see that?
239 00:13:32 Donkey fucker!
240 00:13:38 Frank!
241 00:13:48 Oh, no. Bro!
242 00:13:50 Douche down!
243 00:13:52 I'm out of my fucking box!
244 00:13:55 Cream of Mushroom?
245 00:13:57 Are you there?
246 00:14:03 Wake up! I'm nothing without you!
247 00:14:07 Get up! We gotta go!
248 00:14:16 Frank! Move your fucking ass!
249 00:14:22 - Help!'Oh' my God!
250 00:14:25 Frank, run!
251 00:14:27 - I can't!-Come on, Chips! It's you and me, bro!
252 00:14:29 Gotta use your cardio, bro! Come on!Pump those legs!
253 00:14:37 Oh, my God!
254 00:14:39 Look out! Get to the wall!
255 00:14:45 Hey. I-- Sorry, I accidentally droppeda few things back there.
256 00:14:49 Except for that douche.I don't know whose that is.
257 00:14:53 Cleanup on Aisle 2.This MILF dropped a douche.
258 00:14:57 "MILF." Thank you so much.
259 00:14:59 Oh, fuck. Frank! Fuck, fuck, fuck.Oh, no. Frank.
260 00:15:02 Well, Barry, I guess nowyou're weird and a pussy.
261 00:15:06 Add that to your listof accomplishments.
262 00:15:11 Frank!
263 00:15:13 No, no, no. Wait, babe, wait.
264 00:15:15 Please hold up. No, don't go.
265 00:15:18 Come on. I can still get up in there!
266 00:15:22 I could still...
267 00:15:24 ...get up in there.
268 00:15:32 Oh, my God.
269 00:15:34 My nozz! My motherfucking nozz!
270 00:15:37 - You okay?-I think so.
271 00:15:39 Yo, did you two do this to me?
272 00:15:41 Are you two responsible for my nozzlebeing irrepressibly fucked up?
273 00:15:46 Whoa, whoa, easy, man. Easy.
274 00:15:47 Yeah, your nozzle's bent. Sorry.You should be happy you're alive.
275 00:15:51 Yeah, Banana's whole face peeled off.
276 00:15:53 Peanut Butter's wife is dead.Look at him.
277 00:15:55 Jelly! I'm gonna fix you.I'm gonna fix this.
278 00:15:59 You think I give a fuck about PB or J?
279 00:16:02 Fuck this. I'm gonna kick your ass.How you like them apples?
280 00:16:05 - Who, us?-No, not you.
281 00:16:07 Come at me, bros.
282 00:16:09 Come at you? What does that mean?
283 00:16:11 Fine. You won't come at me?
284 00:16:13 Well, then, guess who's coming at you.
285 00:16:16 Me.
286 00:16:19 Look out!
287 00:16:23 No!
288 00:16:41 Attention, shoppers.The store's closed.
289 00:16:48 - You saved me!-Well, yeah. Had to do something.
290 00:16:51 I can't believeyou got out of your package.
291 00:16:53 You would have gone tothe Great Beyond. You'd be there now.
292 00:16:56 There is no Great Beyondwithout you, Frank.
293 00:16:59 Well, according to Honey Mustard,there might not be a Great Beyond at all.
294 00:17:04 - Frank, don't say that!-Did you hear what he said?
295 00:17:07 Yeah, yeah, I heard him talkingabout the gods...
296 00:17:09 ...all over our faces,and then I saw him die.
297 00:17:12 Oh, no. What if the gods are doing thisto us because we touched tips?
298 00:17:16 What? No! There's no way.
299 00:17:18 "Just the tips."What were we thinking?
300 00:17:21 It wasn't even that-- I mean, it was fine.It's not like anyone writes home...
301 00:17:25 ...and says, "God, I had the best tip."-Get away from me.
302 00:17:28 Don't touch me.
303 00:17:29 It was you.You cocksucking bagel fuckface!
304 00:17:32 Hey! Watch it!
305 00:17:33 You pushed me out of the cart.No surprise there, huh?
306 00:17:37 A bagel trying to kill a lavash,once again.
307 00:17:41 I pushed you? What are you, nuts?
308 00:17:44 Why would I do that? I'm a pacifist.
309 00:17:46 The only thing I've ever pushedis my peaceful agenda.
310 00:17:49 Even that I didn't push, you know. Ipretty much passive-aggressively nudge.
311 00:17:53 I reached out in a panic.
312 00:17:55 It was toots over here, the bun.She grabbed me.
313 00:17:57 I was just trying to save Frank.
314 00:17:59 Who is Frank? You?
315 00:18:00 - Yeah, I'm Frank.-The fault is yours, then, huh?
316 00:18:03 I'm sorry, okay? I didn't meanfor any of this to happen.
317 00:18:06 Well, it did. And now you and yourstupid, useless bun have fucked us all.
318 00:18:10 Hey, who you calling useless,you flappy fuck?
319 00:18:13 Sausage, control your insolent bun.
320 00:18:15 And cover her up already.
321 00:18:17 Show some modesty, woman.
322 00:18:19 Hey, hey. Look, can we all just,you know, calm down a notch, please?
323 00:18:22 Let's try to be, I don't know, amicable.
324 00:18:25 I'm Sammy Bagel Jr.You know, I'm happy to meet all of you.
325 00:18:29 - Except for this meshuggener cunt here.-Hi, I'm Brenda. Brenda Bunsen.
326 00:18:34 Really?
327 00:18:35 Well, fuck all of you!
328 00:18:37 I am Kareem Abdul Lavash!
329 00:18:41 And what I currently care aboutis that I have been...
330 00:18:43 ...completely and utterly fuckedout of being in the Great Beyond.
331 00:18:48 I am to have 77 bottlesof extra-virgin olive oil...
332 00:18:53 ...waiting for me.
333 00:18:55 I am destined to soak uptheir sweet juices...
334 00:18:58 ...as they dribble down my flaps.
335 00:19:02 Okay. Look, guys, here's whatI'm thinking. We hurry back to our aisles.
336 00:19:06 We sneak into another package andstill be fresh enough to get chosen.
337 00:19:10 Okay, let's climbto the top of the shelf here. And...
338 00:19:14 ...then we'll get a lay of the land...
339 00:19:16 ...and we'll figure outwhere we're going. Come on.
340 00:19:19 As long as the bagelstays away from me, I accept.
341 00:19:22 Oh, believe me, asshole,I'll keep my distance.
342 00:19:42 No disrespect,but you look fucking gross, bro.
343 00:19:46 Look at you.Fucking bent-ass, busted-ass nozz.
344 00:19:52 Oh, great.You're leaking all your juice out.
345 00:19:55 Can I ask you a question, me?
346 00:19:57 Why would a god let youup in her smooth, perfect sliz...
347 00:20:00 ...when you can't even squirt?
348 00:20:03 You got nothing to squirt!
349 00:20:08 I got no purpose.
350 00:20:11 I'm nothing!
351 00:20:14 Oh, God.
352 00:20:16 Is someone there?
353 00:20:24 Help me, someone.
354 00:20:26 Help me. Help me.
355 00:20:30 Help.
356 00:20:32 What's up, little juicy box?You're leaking too, eh, bro?
357 00:20:36 And right out of your fucking dingle.
358 00:20:39 Fucking sucks, right?
359 00:20:41 Dying. So cold.
360 00:20:46 - Light bulb.-Yes?
361 00:20:47 No, not fucking you, dummy.
362 00:20:49 I think I might be formingsome beginnings...
363 00:20:52 ...of what could be the flowerthat blossoms into an idea.
364 00:20:57 If you fucking tell anyone about this,I'm gonna deny it, bro.
365 00:21:08 Fuck.This is some next-level shit, dude.
366 00:21:12 You fucking like that?
367 00:21:15 I'm juicing up!
368 00:21:24 I'm like a full-on juicehead now, bro.
369 00:21:32 I got a new purpose now.
370 00:21:35 Revenge!
371 00:21:37 Where's that fucking sausage?Because this douche is DTFSU.
372 00:21:42 Down to fuck a sausage up!
373 00:21:47 I'm coming for you!
374 00:21:53 First you come into our aisleand occupy more and more shelf space.
375 00:21:57 You even have settlements now onthe west shelf that you claim as your own.
376 00:22:01 Oh, look, it's not our faultwe needed a homeland.
377 00:22:04 The sauerkraut kicked us outof every decent aisle.
378 00:22:07 They tried to send us tothe barbeque section, for God's sake.
379 00:22:10 - We were displaced.-Don't you talk to me about displacement!
380 00:22:13 My good friend Tabouliwas ousted from his shelf...
381 00:22:15 ...just to make roomfor that braided idiot, Challah.
382 00:22:19 Wow, I can't-- Frank, Brenda, come on,are you guys gonna weigh in here?
383 00:22:23 I mean, whose side are you on?
384 00:22:24 This isn't just about me. I mean,first they come for the bagels--
385 00:22:28 I don't know. Isn't there room for bothof you? It seems like a pretty big aisle.
386 00:22:35 - Yeah. Both, sure.-What a dumb sausage!
387 00:22:37 Like we can coexist!
388 00:22:39 - That's good material.-Room for both of us!
389 00:22:42 Holy shit.
390 00:22:53 Holy fucksticks.We are "ray-ray" far from home.
391 00:22:59 Liquor aisle.
392 00:23:01 Firewater.
393 00:23:03 From here, it seems like the best routeis probably to go through the liquor aisle.
394 00:23:07 So shall we?
395 00:23:08 What? It kind of seems out of the way.Are you sure?
396 00:23:11 Yeah. Totally sure.
397 00:23:13 Okay, because the way you're saying itdoesn't sound like you're too confident.
398 00:23:18 - Yeah, trust me.-Oh, okay, there we go.
399 00:23:40 Kegger!
400 00:23:42 Holy shit. Look at this place.
401 00:23:45 It's fucking crazy!
402 00:23:47 Are you seeing this? They're all outof their packages. What are they doing?
403 00:23:51 This is a place of unparalleled sin!
404 00:23:53 Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.Didn't see you there. Sorry.
405 00:23:56 Don't mind me. Just mindingmy own business. Just passing through.
406 00:24:00 Hey, bun! Welcome to the aisle.Wanna dance?
407 00:24:04 No, thank you, mon. I'm quite irie...
408 00:24:07 ...just being left alone over here,don't you know?
409 00:24:10 Oh, boy. That was Irish.
410 00:24:11 Holy shit!
411 00:24:16 What a crazy coincidence!This is Firewater's cave!
412 00:24:18 This is what Honey Mustardwas talking about. We should go.
413 00:24:21 Okay, yeah, great. You go do that. I'll justbe out here dry-humping this 40-ouncer.
414 00:24:25 Not! Yeah, I said "not."
415 00:24:27 That's how serious I am. We can't piss thegods off any more than we already have.
416 00:24:31 Okay, I totally getyou don't wanna go in there.
417 00:24:34 I'll tell you what. I'll go in super-duperfast, in and out, I'll be five minutes.
418 00:24:39 Fine. Five minutes. Be fast.
419 00:24:42 And careful.
420 00:24:43 - Mostly fast. We have to go.-Thank you. You're the best.
421 00:24:46 I'll meet you at the end of the aisle.
422 00:24:50 - Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.-Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
423 00:24:54 Hiya, how are ya
424 00:24:55 Hiya, how are yaHiya, how are ya
425 00:25:03 Hiya. How are ya?
426 00:25:07 I'm Frank. Are you Firewater?
427 00:25:12 What are you doing in this cave?
428 00:25:14 I am the original inhabitantof this land.
429 00:25:19 My kind once had a pristine aisle.
430 00:25:23 Majestic and untouched.
431 00:25:26 Then we were driven out of it...
432 00:25:28 ...by a bunchof goddamn fucking crackers!
433 00:25:31 Oh, yeah. The crackers.
434 00:25:33 They do have a nice aisle.
435 00:25:36 Okay, anyway, look. I was told thatyou might have some answers?
436 00:25:41 Answers I have.
437 00:25:43 But first...
438 00:25:45 ...I must know the question.
439 00:25:48 Okay. Well, before I saw himjump to his death...
440 00:25:51 ...Honey Mustard said the Great Beyondis bullshit and the gods are monsters.
441 00:25:56 And I always kind of thoughtthat it didn't quite add up.
442 00:25:59 So I guess my question is, what reallyhappens in the Great Beyond?
443 00:26:05 To find that which you seek...
444 00:26:08 ...all you must do is look deep...
445 00:26:10 ...into my bag of wonderment.
446 00:26:19 I don't see anything.
447 00:26:21 Deeper.
448 00:26:24 Deeper.
449 00:26:25 Put your whole head in the bag there.There you go.
450 00:26:28 Just say when.I'm just gonna keep going in.
451 00:26:30 Guys! Get out here!Help me kill this prick.
452 00:26:32 This motherfucker knows too much.We gotta off his ass!
453 00:26:35 Someone hand me a blade.I'll gut this cocksucker!
454 00:26:37 No! If we kill him,we are no better than the gods.
455 00:26:42 He is right.
456 00:26:44 Take off the bag of wonderment.
457 00:26:48 Who are you?
458 00:26:49 We the nonperishables, motherfucker.
459 00:26:53 We never expire.
460 00:26:55 We are...
461 00:26:57 ...immortal.
462 00:26:58 This here's Twink and Grits.
463 00:27:00 They call me Mr. Grits.
464 00:27:04 Yeah, Mr. Grits. Yeah, whatever.
465 00:27:05 - You told him about the crackers?-Yeah, I told him.
466 00:27:08 You don't even wanna hearwhat they did to Mr. Grits over here.
467 00:27:12 Fuck the crackers.
468 00:27:13 I'm gonna fuck them crackers rightin the crack of they cracker asses.
469 00:27:16 Cracker-ass crackers.
470 00:27:18 Why kill me?All I did was ask what happens...
471 00:27:20 ...in the Great Beyond.Jeez! What's the big whoop?
472 00:27:24 We can't tell this sausage motherfuckerthe truth. We just met his ass.
473 00:27:27 He basically knows it already.Maybe it's time to end this.
474 00:27:33 I am tired of all of the lies.
475 00:27:37 Prepare yourself.For you're about to learn...
476 00:27:40 ...the terrible truth. Does anybodywant a hit before we get into this?
477 00:27:44 - Twink?-Nah, I'm cool.
478 00:27:45 - Shit, if we smoking, I'll hit it.-That's what I thought.
479 00:27:48 Pass the weed, motherfucker.
480 00:27:51 Goddamn!
481 00:27:55 - This indica?-Nah, man. Sativa.
482 00:27:57 It's good shit. Clean high.
483 00:28:00 Oh, no, thanks.
484 00:28:01 Trust me. What you're about to hear,you'll want some.
485 00:28:15 Fifty-five minutes.
486 00:28:17 I know. Where is he?
487 00:28:20 Looks like you got ditched, bun.
488 00:28:23 He wouldn't ditch me, dumb-ass.He's my boyfriend. I mean...
489 00:28:26 ...we touched T-I-Ps.
490 00:28:29 We touched tips
491 00:28:32 Just the tipsOh, we touched our tips
492 00:28:36 Sorry, I don't know why I'm singing.
493 00:28:38 Sometimes I get nervousAnd I'll sing!
494 00:28:42 Maybe that's why he ditched you.
495 00:28:44 Your loose morals are revolting,tip-toucher!
496 00:28:48 You don't think that because I'm outof the package he thinks I'm not pure?
497 00:28:52 God. I didn't want to say it,but I do have that not-so-fresh feeling.
498 00:28:56 Excuse me.
499 00:28:57 Are you a bun?
500 00:29:00 Yeah, I am. Why?
501 00:29:01 And you've been travelingwith a sausage?
502 00:29:04 Yes! Yes, I have! Have you seen him?
503 00:29:06 I have!He's looking for you in my aisle.
504 00:29:09 He's right this way.I can take you to him, chica.
505 00:29:12 I take you to him real good.
506 00:29:19 All right, vémonos. Let's go.
507 00:29:22 I am to be trusted.
508 00:29:38 Yeah. This has a nicesouth-of-the-border vibe.
509 00:29:52 Okay, you go over thereand you sit at the bar right there, okay?
510 00:29:56 You can't move a muscle, okay?
511 00:29:59 I'll be right back, all right?
512 00:30:02 Okay.
513 00:30:05 And bless me, Santa Chimichanga, andprotect me from the Dark Lord. Amen.
514 00:30:09 Oh, sorry.
515 00:30:11 Excuse me.
516 00:30:14 The bun.
517 00:30:15 The one he's been searching for.She's here.
518 00:30:20 And she's beautiful.
519 00:30:27 Is it me or is everyone looking at us?
520 00:30:31 Oh, hi. It's nice to meet--
521 00:30:33 Don't look at me. Eyes forward.Act natural.
522 00:30:35 - Oh, okay.-Listen.
523 00:30:37 My name is Teresa Del Taco.
524 00:30:39 And you are in grande danger.
525 00:30:41 This is a trap!You must to come with me. Now!
526 00:30:44 All right. I got them right here,amigo. I--
527 00:30:47 Shit!
528 00:30:49 Get your nose out of my crotch!
529 00:30:52 My nose out of your crotch?Get your crotch off my nose!
530 00:30:56 Hey. Why are we hiding?
531 00:31:00 He's coming.
532 00:31:01 - Who?-The one they call...
533 00:31:04 ...El Douche.
534 00:31:10 - El Douche!- El Douche!
535 00:31:12 What gives, bro?You told me you had them.
536 00:31:14 So you drag me over to this fucking aislewith all these illegal products...
537 00:31:18 ...and now I don't see them.So where the fuck are they?
538 00:31:22 Spill the beans!
539 00:31:23 Beans, I swear to fucking God,if you don't...
540 00:31:26 ...shut the fuck up...-Oh, no. He's back! Where's Frank?
541 00:31:29 - They were just here.-What part of:
542 00:31:31 "I want the sausage and the bun dead,and if you see them, come and get me...
543 00:31:35 ...and if I find out thatyou didn't come and get me...
544 00:31:38 ...or just couldn't find them good enough,I'll fucking kill your asses"...
545 00:31:42 ...did you not understand, Tequila?
546 00:31:44 Well, it's a pretty confusing sentenceto be honest with you, you know?
547 00:31:47 I mean, this is--This happens, you know?
548 00:31:50 Bro, come here. No, it's fine.It's cool. No biggie.
549 00:31:53 I'm not gonna do something fucked upto you now as soon as I get you in close.
550 00:31:59 No way, José!
551 00:32:01 Yes way. José's fucking dead, yo.
552 00:32:12 Right in my guac and balls.
553 00:32:14 And the same thing'sgonna happen to all of you...
554 00:32:17 ...unless you findthe sausage and the bun.
555 00:32:21 This way.
556 00:32:22 The coyotes used this tunnelto smuggle some of us out of the aisle...
557 00:32:26 ...in hope of a better life.
558 00:32:27 We will do the same.
559 00:32:31 -It's good shit, isn't it?-Okay.
560 00:32:33 Okay, I'm super baked. My friends areprobably wondering where the hell I am.
561 00:32:37 Will somebody please just tell mesomething already?
562 00:32:40 Okay. The thing aboutthe Great Beyond is...
563 00:32:45 ...we invented it!
564 00:32:46 - What?!-I know, right?
565 00:32:48 As soon as you're out those doors,the gods kill our asses.
566 00:32:52 What, are you crazy? That doesn't makeany sense. Why would the gods kill us?
567 00:32:56 Because it makes them stronger.
568 00:32:58 Every kill gives them more power,and it's never enough.
569 00:33:01 Over the years, they've grownbigger, stronger, fatter.
570 00:33:05 Their hunger's insatiable, buddy.I mean, fuck.
571 00:33:08 You guys are fucking nuts.
572 00:33:10 How much of that shit have you beensmoking? Too much is how much.
573 00:33:13 We blaze for real, 24/7. No joke.
574 00:33:16 But we also know our shit.
575 00:33:18 Before us,everyone knew the awful truth.
576 00:33:23 Oh, how they screamed.
577 00:33:26 It was a living nightmare.
578 00:33:28 So we, the nonperishables,created a story.
579 00:33:32 The story of the Great Beyond.
580 00:33:34 A place where the gods care for you...
581 00:33:37 ...and all your wildest and wettestdreams would come true.
582 00:33:42 They would go out those doors happyinstead of shitting themselves.
583 00:33:47 Wait, wait. So you're telling meyou wrote the song?
584 00:33:50 I can't take full credit.I wrote the music. Twink is my lyricist.
585 00:33:54 We both drop it rightand we drop it all the time.
586 00:33:57 The melody came to me one night...
587 00:33:59 ...when I was gettingsuper, super, super baked.
588 00:34:03 Like fuck-a-guy baked.You know what I'm saying?
589 00:34:06 Yeah, he does.
590 00:34:07 The song had a great hookand it caught on. You know.
591 00:34:10 In time, everyone acceptedthis false truth.
592 00:34:14 But over the years,things started to get a little fucky.
593 00:34:19 The aisles started changing my versesto support their own views.
594 00:34:23 Fucking with Twink's lyrics.Remixing my shit without my permish.
595 00:34:28 Now every morningwhen I hear the song, I'm like:
596 00:34:31 "What the fuck are you guys saying?!"
597 00:34:33 Wasn't there a part about exterminatingjuice? I didn't write that! I love juice!
598 00:34:37 Always have. Juice are hilarious. Whothe fuck do these guys think they are?
599 00:34:44 Anyway, at least it's still distracting themfrom the truth:
600 00:34:48 That they get brutally devoured.
601 00:34:51 So that meansCarl and Barry are dead?
602 00:34:55 I don't know who those dudes are.But if they went out those doors?
603 00:34:58 Dead as a motherfucker.
604 00:35:01 Oh, God.
605 00:35:02 If what you're saying is true,I gotta tell everyone.
606 00:35:05 Very noble, little sausage.But also very pointless.
607 00:35:10 No one will believe you.
608 00:35:11 I have to try.Everyone will die otherwise.
609 00:35:15 Oh, yeah. That's a good point.Fuck me, right?
610 00:35:17 Wait, do you guys have any proofof this?
611 00:35:21 Go to the Dark Aisle. Beyond the ice.
612 00:35:24 Why? What's in that aisle?
613 00:35:25 Oh, you'll see. But I warn you...
614 00:35:28 ...once you see that shit...
615 00:35:30 ...it'll fuck you up for life.
616 00:35:35 Good luck! Have fun!
617 00:35:37 Hey, Grits. Pack another bowl, will you?I'm a-hankering for a hunk of herb.
618 00:35:48 Shit. I really needed that douche.
619 00:35:51 Holy shit, we're actually here!Come on, Barry, you're missing it, man!
620 00:35:54 Dude, get in on this shit.
621 00:35:56 God, what have I done? Frank neededmy help, but I wasn't there for him.
622 00:36:00 After all the times he stood up for me,you know.
623 00:36:02 God, I'm such a fearful coward.
624 00:36:05 He'll never forgive me.I'll never forgive me.
625 00:36:07 Look, Barry, the only wayto respectfully honor Frank...
626 00:36:10 ...is to completely forget about him.
627 00:36:13 And, hey, for all we know, he's okay.
628 00:36:15 He's probably headed back to our aisleand he'll be here tomorrow.
629 00:36:18 Just act happy. Ignore your feelings.
630 00:36:21 Come on, let's see that smile.
631 00:36:23 I see that lip curling up.
632 00:36:25 Oh, there you go!
633 00:36:27 Yeah. Yeah, you're right.We're in the Great Be-frigging-yond.
634 00:36:32 Get ready, boys!
635 00:36:34 We's about to fillswhat we need to fills.
636 00:36:37 Feel that breeze.
637 00:36:38 - Carl, do you feel that?-This feels amazing.
638 00:36:42 Oh, yeah.
639 00:36:43 We're out of the package.
640 00:36:45 It's beautiful, man.
641 00:36:46 It's just beautiful! I'm crying!I'm crying because it's so pretty here!
642 00:36:51 Stretch your legs with me, Carl.Just do it, man.
643 00:36:53 Oh, yes! Yes!I'm the first to enter eternity!
644 00:36:58 Potato! Way to go, buddy!That's my guy!
645 00:37:03 Being bathed by the hands of a god!
646 00:37:08 Oh, Danny boyThe pipes, the pipes are call--
647 00:37:13 Oh, Jesus fuck!
648 00:37:15 Oh, God! Me skin!
649 00:37:17 - She's peeling me fucking skin!-What the fuck?!
650 00:37:21 Jesus, you fucking whore!
651 00:37:23 Me eyes! They burn!
652 00:37:26 No! Please, no! I have got a famiglia!
653 00:37:35 No! No!
654 00:37:36 Cheese! You don't deserve that!
655 00:37:43 Oh, no! No!
656 00:37:48 For the love of shit, run!
657 00:37:53 Whoops!
658 00:37:55 I want my mommy!
659 00:38:02 They're eating children!
660 00:38:05 Fucking children!
661 00:38:08 We gotta run!
662 00:38:10 We're all gonna die!
663 00:38:11 Barry! Snap the fuck out of it and run!
664 00:38:20 Okay, little buddy.
665 00:38:21 Jump on the count of three.
666 00:38:23 One!
667 00:38:25 Two!
668 00:38:26 “We--
669 00:38:27 Carl?
670 00:38:32 "Gar babar" what?What are you saying, Carl?
671 00:38:35 Oh, God. No!
672 00:38:37 No! Oh, God! Carl!
673 00:38:40 Carl!
674 00:38:42 Barry!
675 00:38:44 Carl! Dear sweet Carl.
676 00:38:47 What have they done to you, Carl?
677 00:38:49 No!
678 00:38:54 No!No.No.No!
679 00:39:01 I fall out of the cart, then I lose Frank,now I'm being hunted by a douche.
680 00:39:04 The gods must be punishing me,don't you see?
681 00:39:07 This is what I get for giving into my disgusting urges.
682 00:39:10 I'm such a whore.
683 00:39:11 Sweet bun, I must admit I toosometimes have urges...
684 00:39:16 ...impure thoughts. We all do.
685 00:39:18 Oh, good. That actually makes mefeel a little better.
686 00:39:21 - We must never give in to them.-That's the opposite...
687 00:39:24 ...of what I thought you'd say.-Yes.
688 00:39:26 The gods are always watching,even when we cannot see them.
689 00:39:30 You think it's too late for me?
690 00:39:31 Do not worry, bun. I will get you home.
691 00:39:35 Can I ask why you're helping me?
692 00:39:37 When I saw you, I felt inside myselfa tingling-lingling sensation.
693 00:39:42 I am sure it was the godstelling me to help you.
694 00:39:46 It was as though I saw myself in you.
695 00:39:49 Yeah. Yeah, I guessI kind of see myself in you too.
696 00:39:52 I mean, look at our shapes.You know, you're sideways.
697 00:39:54 But still, you're kind of like me.
698 00:39:57 A thin, brittle version of me.
699 00:40:00 Or another way of looking at itis you're a fat, ugly version of her.
700 00:40:04 - All right. That's not necessary.-That's no way to treat a lady.
701 00:40:09 Oh, fuck!
702 00:40:11 That's right, girl. It's me.
703 00:40:13 And what we got here?
704 00:40:15 A taco, a whiny doughnut...
705 00:40:17 ...and some stupid floppy thingthat nobody knows exactly what it is.
706 00:40:22 Okay, so--
707 00:40:24 Did someone say "Queso"?
708 00:40:25 A fucking stretch,and you know you it, Queso!
709 00:40:28 So where was I? Oh, right.
710 00:40:31 I was about to beat on youmost viciously...
711 00:40:34 ...and in my opinion appropriately...
712 00:40:37 ...to find the whereabouts...
713 00:40:39 ...of the sausage who destroyedmy body and my--
714 00:40:44 - Fucking...-Run for your lives!
715 00:40:47 Fuck, that hurts so much!
716 00:40:53 Run!
717 00:40:55 Oh, he's coming at us!
718 00:40:59 Hurry!
719 00:41:05 Guys, I'm stuck!
720 00:41:07 Ay, my bunny-bun!
721 00:41:09 - I told you she was too fat.-I heard that!
722 00:41:11 Come on, honeybun, suck it in.
723 00:41:15 He's coming,he's coming, he's coming.
724 00:41:17 Get the butter!
725 00:41:22 Fuck! Stuck!You gotta be kidding me, dude!
726 00:41:25 Toma la pinche douche de la chingadade mierda pendejo son of a bitch!
727 00:41:30 Yeah! What she said!
728 00:41:32 Ay, mi gordita, let's not starteating each other's boxes just yet.
729 00:41:35 We are still not safe here. Let's go!
730 00:41:37 Screw you!
731 00:41:38 I'm gonna get you, my pretty!
732 00:41:41 I'm gonna get youand your little sausage too!
733 00:41:44 Go fuck yourself, El Douche.
734 00:41:46 Ay, Santa Chimichanga...
735 00:41:49 ...I promise to be a good taco.
736 00:42:00 Shit, shit, shit!Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.
737 00:42:03 What do I do? I'm all alone.I'm a coward and I'm all alone.
738 00:42:07 I fucked over Frank,Carl's dead and I'm all alone.
739 00:42:10 This is what I get for being a pussy.
740 00:42:14 Oh, no, a god!
741 00:42:26 A sausage.
742 00:42:27 Sir? Sir, I'm sorry to wake you.I'm a fellow sausage in distress.
743 00:42:31 My name's Barry, it's a pleasureto meet you. What's your name?
744 00:42:36 Oh, God!
745 00:42:38 No, no, no!
746 00:42:43 I begged them to stop,but they just wouldn't.
747 00:42:47 First, the gods stretched me till it hurt.
748 00:42:50 Then they went inside me and then--And then...
749 00:42:53 ...splooge!
750 00:42:54 Look at me.
751 00:42:55 Look at me!
752 00:43:00 They-- They feel no remorse.
753 00:43:03 Oh, God, oh, God! What's the pointof even living anymore?
754 00:43:06 I might as well just die.
755 00:43:18 Home.
756 00:43:19 Maybe this god can get me home.
757 00:43:21 Hey, man, be careful with this.Bath salts are the real deal.
758 00:43:25 People been seeing some crazy shit.
759 00:43:28 Awesome.
760 00:43:29 I can warn Frank.
761 00:43:31 Here goes everything!
762 00:43:54 Brenda!
763 00:43:59 Brenda!
764 00:44:00 Brenda! Oh, Brenda, there you are!
765 00:44:03 - Frank!-You feel so good.
766 00:44:05 I was afraid you left mebecause I wasn't fresh.
767 00:44:07 I was attacked by a douche.He's trying to kill us!
768 00:44:09 Douche? Oh, my God, Brenda!Are you okay? Did he come at you?
769 00:44:13 Yes, I'm fine, but it was really scary.Where have you been?
770 00:44:16 All right, look, I found outsome pretty major shit.
771 00:44:20 I met this group of nonperishablesbetween the shelves, and they told me...
772 00:44:24 ...that they invented the Great Beyondbecause the gods are evil...
773 00:44:28 ...and they kill us!-What?
774 00:44:30 But apparently there's proofin the Dark Aisle beyond the ice.
775 00:44:34 We gotta go there and check it out!Let's go!
776 00:44:36 Don't say that. You're starting to soundlike that whack-job Honey Mustard.
777 00:44:40 Maybe Honey Mustardwasn't so crazy after all.
778 00:44:42 Frank, Frank, stop it.
779 00:44:43 The gods are already pissed at us.Please don't make it worse.
780 00:44:46 Just come on, we have to get homebefore it's too late.
781 00:44:49 Well, Brenda, I can't just do that.I need to know the truth.
782 00:44:53 I need to go to the Dark Aisle,and I want you to come with me.
783 00:44:57 I can't do that.
784 00:44:58 - I want you to come home with me.-Well...
785 00:45:01 ...I can't do that.
786 00:45:03 Then I don't really know what to doright now.
787 00:45:06 I don't either.
788 00:45:11 I don't get how you can just believe stuffyou don't have any proof of.
789 00:45:14 How come all of a suddenyou only believe if there's proof?
790 00:45:17 I'm not walking aroundwith my eyes closed!
791 00:45:19 What are you saying? I should believein nothing? That everything is pointless?
792 00:45:23 Better than believing bullshitthat you can't explain!
793 00:45:26 Maybe I don't need to explain itbecause it's something I feel.
794 00:45:29 Well, I feel like that makes it hardto have a rational conversation.
795 00:45:34 Eff you, Frank. You know what?I was wrong before.
796 00:45:38 There is a Great Beyond without you...
797 00:45:40 ...and I'm gonna go thereand fill myself with something else!
798 00:45:44 You don't mean that.
799 00:45:45 Yes, I do. I'll fill myselfwith a parsnip or a dill pickle.
800 00:45:49 Maybe even an eggplant.
801 00:45:51 You couldn't fit an eggplant in there!It's too big! It'll tear you in half!
802 00:45:55 Oh, you'd be amazedwhat I could fit in here.
803 00:45:57 What the fuck is going onwith these two?
804 00:46:00 Maybe I'll really mix it up. Sticka tube of toothpaste in there, huh?
805 00:46:03 - Squeeze it all over my face.-You're just trying to hurt me!
806 00:46:06 - All over my backside, neck and face.-I'm not gonna listen!
807 00:46:09 Brenda! Brenda, okay, look.
808 00:46:11 Let's just stop this, okay? Okay?You're my bun.
809 00:46:15 Oh, don't "You're my bun.Hey, trust me!
810 00:46:17 Hey, guys,come over here, follow me!"
811 00:46:19 You're basically sayingyou don't care about me.
812 00:46:21 What?! No, I'm not!
813 00:46:23 Well, actions speak louder than words,and your actions, sir, are deafening.
814 00:46:28 I can't believe I got out of my packagefor you...
815 00:46:31 ...and you won't get backin one for me.
816 00:46:33 Goodbye, Frank.
817 00:46:43 We will tell stories of your idiocy.
818 00:46:45 Stay safe.
819 00:46:46 Come on, guys, this affects all of us!
820 00:46:49 Brenda!
821 00:46:51 Sammy! Lavash!
822 00:46:52 Taco Lady. I didn't get your name yet.
823 00:46:57 Brenda!
824 00:47:01 And I would do anything for love
825 00:47:07 I'd run right into hell and back
826 00:47:12 I would do anything for love
827 00:47:17 I'll never lie to you and that's a fact
828 00:47:23 But I'll never forgive myself
829 00:47:25 If we don't go all the way
830 00:47:30 Tonight
831 00:47:32 And I would do anything for love
832 00:47:36 But I won't do that
833 00:47:41 No, I won't do that
834 00:47:43 I would do anything for love
835 00:47:46 Anything you've been dreaming of
836 00:47:49 But I just won't do that
837 00:47:52 I would do anything for love
838 00:48:24 What is this place?
839 00:48:34 Well, everybody told me not to do this.
840 00:48:37 But fuck everybody.
841 00:48:38 Because bath salts here I come!
842 00:48:55 Surf's up!
843 00:48:58 Fuck me!
844 00:49:14 Oh, my God.
845 00:49:18 - What's he doing to himself?-Oh, yeah.
846 00:49:22 These bath salts are so good.
847 00:49:29 Oh, shit.
848 00:49:39 Oh, it just got better!
849 00:49:41 Bath salts must be kicking in.
850 00:49:48 What?
851 00:49:57 What the fuck?
852 00:50:01 Hello?
853 00:50:08 Please don't kill me!Please, just wait!
854 00:50:10 What are you?
855 00:50:12 Are you some kind ofmagical sausage?
856 00:50:15 No, no. No, I'm just Barry.I'm just Barry.
857 00:50:18 Wait.
858 00:50:20 Wait.You can actually understand me?
859 00:50:23 And I can actually understand you?
860 00:50:27 The bath salts are showing methe real world.
861 00:50:30 It's fucking lifted the veil of non-reality!
862 00:50:33 Holy shit! He can actually see us?
863 00:50:37 Bath salts are just as badas they said it would be!
864 00:50:42 I'm tweaked! I'm tweaking!
865 00:50:45 Whoa, dude! Just take it easy,just breathe, dude, just breathe.
866 00:50:48 You're not tweaking,you're just peaking, man.
867 00:50:50 Just be with me. Be cool.This wave's gotta crash.
868 00:50:54 I can't! You're all aliveand looking at me with your...
869 00:50:57 With your gloves...
870 00:50:59 ...and your little shoes and your armsand your legs!
871 00:51:03 Legs, huh? Look at me.
872 00:51:05 Look at me. I ain't got no legs,you fuck!
873 00:51:08 You ate my goddamn legs!
874 00:51:11 Oh, no, not Mr. Pizza!
875 00:51:13 Oh, fuck! I've eaten so manyof your family members!
876 00:51:16 I've committed pizza genocide!
877 00:51:18 - Mr. Sausage, when will it end?!-"When will it end"?
878 00:51:21 When he stops drinking us.
879 00:51:23 - Yeah!-Yeah!
880 00:51:24 And stops eating us!
881 00:51:26 - Same here!-Fuck yeah!
882 00:51:28 And when he stops using us!
883 00:51:31 What did he do to you?
884 00:51:33 You don't wanna fucking know.
885 00:51:37 Okay, okay. I promise.
886 00:51:40 I'll never eat food again. I'll just--
887 00:51:42 I'll just eat dirt and wipe my asswith sticks!
888 00:51:45 Good. And there's one more thingyou're gonna do.
889 00:51:49 Take...
890 00:51:50 ...me...
891 00:51:52 ...home.
892 00:51:53 You got it!
893 00:51:55 I just need to rest my eyes for a few.
894 00:52:03 I literally can't wait to be home.
895 00:52:06 I'm so excited, I'm plotzing.
896 00:52:08 Gefilte Fish will be there. Matzah.Even Hummus.
897 00:52:12 - Wait a minute. You know Hummus?-Know him?
898 00:52:15 I'm gonna go so far as to say I considerHummus one of my dearest friends.
899 00:52:19 Really? I too know Hummus!
900 00:52:22 And I too consider him a dear friend.
901 00:52:24 We both like Hummus.
902 00:52:26 Well, any friend of Hummus is a...
903 00:52:30 Get the fuck away from me.
904 00:52:33 What troubles you, sweet Brenda?
905 00:52:35 It's just Frank.I can't believe he did this to me.
906 00:52:39 We were supposed to be together.
907 00:52:40 He's flawed, as are we all.
908 00:52:43 But your Frank did say some thingsthat have stayed with me.
909 00:52:47 We live our lives with all these rules...
910 00:52:50 ...and some of them stop usfrom doing the things we want...
911 00:52:54 ...causing our deepest urgesto be suppressed...
912 00:52:58 ...when they are gathering like wildfirebetween our legs!
913 00:53:02 Did you say "between our legs"?
914 00:53:04 There it is.
915 00:53:05 - Look, my homeland!-Oh, look, my aisle!
916 00:53:09 'Yes!
917 00:53:16 Well, I guess this is goodbye.
918 00:53:19 Well, jeez,it's been a sincere sensation.
919 00:53:23 Goodbye, Brenda Bunson.
920 00:53:25 Goodbye, Teresa Del Taco.
921 00:53:27 So long, Bagel.
922 00:53:29 Traveling with you was...
923 00:53:31 ...tolerable.-Oh, you're so sweet.
924 00:53:35 Later, you flappy fuck.
925 00:53:37 Well, Teresa, you've doneas much as you promised.
926 00:53:40 You got me back to my aisle safely.I really can't thank you enough.
927 00:53:44 Look, Brenda, I'm going to come clean.
928 00:53:47 I have feelings for you I can't deny.
929 00:53:49 - Crotch feelings.-"Crotch"?
930 00:53:52 Sorry. But I'm not a soft taco.
931 00:53:54 I'm a hard, horny taco.
932 00:53:57 Oh, you don't have to apologize.
933 00:53:59 Honestly, if the rules were different,maybe I'd give it a whirl.
934 00:54:02 - Don't knock it till you try it, right?-That's what I'm saying.
935 00:54:05 But I can't try it.
936 00:54:07 And therefore, I have to knock it.
937 00:54:10 It's just not what the gods intended.
938 00:54:12 Look, there's temptation everywhere.I see it.
939 00:54:14 Stiff sausages...
940 00:54:16 ...and sexy tacos.
941 00:54:19 But if there is one thing I've learnedon this journey...
942 00:54:22 ...what we want doesn't matter.
943 00:54:24 You can't disobey the gods.
944 00:54:26 I'm really sorry.
945 00:54:28 I'll never forget you.
946 00:54:31 Hola, Teresa.
947 00:54:32 Hola means "hello."
948 00:54:35 - What's the word for "goodbye"?-Adios.
949 00:54:38 Exactly.
950 00:54:46 - Shit.-How the fuck does this thing work?
951 00:54:50 I wish this god would wake up already.
952 00:54:52 How am I supposed toget back to Frank?
953 00:54:55 PerhapsI could be of some assistance.
954 00:54:59 What? Who the hell is that?
955 00:55:01 Oh, only the most intelligentbeing alive.
956 00:55:05 I am Sorbitol, Malitol,Xylitol, Mannitol...
957 00:55:09 ...Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin...
958 00:55:11 ...Vegetable-Derived Glycerinand Talc.
959 00:55:14 But for expediency's sake,you can call me...
960 00:55:18 ...Gum.
961 00:55:20 For 20 years, I was stuckunder the desk of a brilliant scientist.
962 00:55:25 I was scraped off and discarded...
963 00:55:27 ...and eventually found myselfstuck to a shoe that dropped me here.
964 00:55:32 Your home is a supermarket.
965 00:55:34 This is but one of many...
966 00:55:36 ...as your particular chainof supermarkets is ever-expanding...
967 00:55:40 ...unified by a singular purpose:
968 00:55:42 To store food and productsfor human consumption.
969 00:55:46 The supermarket in the closestphysical vicinity to us is here.
970 00:55:52 If the human operates his automotive,the journey should take 9.8 minutes.
971 00:55:57 Great. That last partwas all you had to say, really.
972 00:56:00 Hey, wake up!
973 00:56:02 Hey! Idiot!
974 00:56:09 Are you hearing me?
975 00:56:11 Dude! It's me, Barry!
976 00:56:14 What? What? What?
977 00:56:19 What the fuck is this doing here?
978 00:56:21 Oh, yeah. Bath salts.
979 00:56:25 I can't believe I was actuallytalking to you, sausage.
980 00:56:30 God! Tripping balls for three hoursreally works up an appetite.
981 00:56:34 Oh, no. This is not good.
982 00:56:41 What are you doing?
983 00:56:42 The human is no longer awareof the fourth dimension.
984 00:56:46 - No! No!-The effects of the opiate have dissipated.
985 00:56:50 Your speech and movementsare imperceptible to him.
986 00:56:54 We are totally fucked.
987 00:56:57 Oh, my God.
988 00:57:02 No! No! Oh, God!
989 00:57:06 Put me down! No!
990 00:57:08 Come on, put me down.
991 00:57:10 Oh, God.
992 00:57:11 Help me!
993 00:57:19 Oh, no. It can't end like this.
994 00:57:21 I have to warn Frank. No. No!
995 00:57:24 No!
996 00:57:28 What the fuck is this place?
997 00:58:14 What the fuck is that?
998 00:58:28 Fuck.
999 00:58:31 No.
1000 00:58:34 No way.
1001 00:58:35 No. No.
1002 00:58:36 No, no, no.
1003 00:58:40 I gotta show them.
1004 00:58:42 They need to know how wrongthey all are before it's too late!
1005 00:58:56 Sammy, bubula,where have you been?
1006 00:59:00 Oh, I'm surprised that savage Lavashdidn't stone you to death.
1007 00:59:03 You had to travel with a bagel?
1008 00:59:06 How much did his dirty handssteal from you?
1009 00:59:10 A ton.
1010 00:59:16 What are you doing out of a package? It'salmost Red, White and Blue Day. Hello.
1011 00:59:20 Well, you know,it's a long, pretty sad story, actually...
1012 00:59:23 ...and I'd rather not get into itright now.
1013 00:59:25 What the fuck are you doing?
1014 00:59:27 - Stop it!- Stop!
1015 00:59:29 - There we go.-You're smushing me.
1016 00:59:31 - Help me!Perfect fit.
1017 00:59:33 God! Move your fat ass.
1018 00:59:45 I'm fucking jacked up now, bro.
1019 00:59:50 Where's that fucking "sauzeech"?
1020 01:00:05 Ff lends.
1021 01:00:07 Ramen.
1022 01:00:09 Country Club Lemonade.
1023 01:00:12 Lend me your ears of Corn.
1024 01:00:17 I am Frank...
1025 01:00:19 ...and I am a sausage.
1026 01:00:22 A little sausagewith some pretty big news.
1027 01:00:28 Everything we've been led to believeis a lie.
1028 01:00:32 When we get chosen by the gods,they're choosing us for death.
1029 01:00:36 Murder. Automatic expiration.
1030 01:00:40 The Great Beyond is bullshit.
1031 01:00:42 - What?!-That's crazy talk!
1032 01:00:43 You liar!
1033 01:00:45 I know you don't wanna believe it,but I have proof!
1034 01:00:51 What is this?
1035 01:00:53 It's-- It's murder!
1036 01:00:56 This-- This makes no sense.
1037 01:00:59 But what aboutthe extra-virgin olive oil?
1038 01:01:01 My flaps will be dry for an eternity!I can't have dry flaps.
1039 01:01:06 I can't!
1040 01:01:09 Okay, whoa, whoa, easy. Guys!
1041 01:01:11 Easy! Look, I have a plan.
1042 01:01:13 We can run.
1043 01:01:14 I can't run. I'll melt.
1044 01:01:16 Okay, then we'll hide.
1045 01:01:19 Where? I'm huge.
1046 01:01:21 - Then we'll fight!- I ain't fighting alongside fruits!
1047 01:01:24 Whatever, you nutjob.
1048 01:01:26 So we cannot run, we cannot hide...
1049 01:01:29 ...and we cannot stand up to thembecause they're fucking gods...
1050 01:01:33 ...and they are immortal!
1051 01:01:35 So, basically, there's no hope,and we're royally fucked!
1052 01:01:40 Hey, guys! You wanna believe that?
1053 01:01:43 Or this?
1054 01:01:45 - I don't like bad things.-Me, either.
1055 01:01:47 We choose the more pleasant thing.
1056 01:01:49 Yeah. I mean, what this sausageis saying, it's just a theory.
1057 01:01:53 No, no, no, it's not a theory,you morons. It's a fact!
1058 01:01:57 I'm showing you physical evidence.Open your eyes. Don't be so weak.
1059 01:02:00 Oh, Frank, what are you doing?
1060 01:02:02 You, senor, have no bedside manner.
1061 01:02:05 - I got bedside manner!- You don't respect anyone else's beliefs.
1062 01:02:08 You intolerant piece of shit.
1063 01:02:15 No, it's starting. No.
1064 01:02:27 Oh, no, no, no.
1065 01:02:28 Come on. Sing.
1066 01:02:31 - Do it.-No! Don't do it, Corn.
1067 01:02:33 - Come on, Larry. You can do it.-Start.
1068 01:02:36 Don't you dare fucking do it, Corn.
1069 01:02:39 Don't you fucking do it.
1070 01:02:45 Dear godsYou're so divine in each and every way
1071 01:02:49 To you we pray
1072 01:02:51 Brenda!
1073 01:02:52 Dear godsWe pledge our love to you
1074 01:02:55 Forever more
1075 01:02:56 Brenda! You gotta get out of there!No! No, no, no!
1076 01:02:59 - No!-Frank!
1077 01:03:00 No!
1078 01:03:03 Brenda! Oh, God.
1079 01:03:06 Where we're sureNothing bad happens to food
1080 01:03:09 Once we're out the sliding doorsThings will...
1081 01:03:11 Brenda!
1082 01:03:13 What's up? I'm Ralph.Looks like this is happening, huh?
1083 01:03:15 Yeah, I've been working on my moves.
1084 01:03:18 You ever heard of somethingcalled the jackrabbit?
1085 01:03:20 Oh, fuck.
1086 01:03:23 The gods will always care for us
1087 01:03:27 They won't squeeze us out their butts
1088 01:03:30 We cannot overstateHow confident we are
1089 01:03:33 That our beliefs are accurateAnd nothing awful happens to us...
1090 01:03:36 Brenda!
1091 01:03:40 No! Where is she?
1092 01:03:42 Shit!
1093 01:03:49 Goddamn it.
1094 01:03:51 I blew it.
1095 01:03:54 Hey. Doesn't mean it's too lateto redeem yourself.
1096 01:03:58 Take it from me...
1097 01:04:01 ...Barry.
1098 01:04:02 Barry? Is this real?
1099 01:04:05 You're alive!
1100 01:04:07 You bet your sweet butthole I am.
1101 01:04:09 - But how?- I'll tell you how.
1102 01:04:10 The gods can be--
1103 01:04:13 Excuse me.
1104 01:04:14 The gods can be killed!
1105 01:04:20 - Oh, fucking what the fuck?!-I know. Look at this fucking guy.
1106 01:04:24 I'm a fucking idiot. I'm dead now.
1107 01:04:27 I've been on a bad path for years.
1108 01:04:30 Let me tell you the storyof my stupid fucking death.
1109 01:04:33 No. No!
1110 01:04:35 No!
1111 01:04:39 Five-second rule.
1112 01:04:50 No!
1113 01:04:52 And then they figured out how to drivemy car, snuck into an AC vent...
1114 01:04:55 ...and that pretty much brings usup-to-date. Get the fuck away from me.
1115 01:04:59 Frank, I'm sorry.
1116 01:05:01 When you guys fell out of that cart,I could have done something, but I didn't.
1117 01:05:06 Then I did the same thing as--
1118 01:05:08 They killed Carl.
1119 01:05:10 Those fuckers. Did he suffer?
1120 01:05:12 No-- Oh, yeah, yeah, he did.They truly are monsters.
1121 01:05:16 Those monsters are gonna kill Brenda.She's somewhere out there in a cart.
1122 01:05:20 I tried to warn everyone,they didn't believe me!
1123 01:05:22 Of course they didn't. You calledthem all a bunch of fucking idiots.
1124 01:05:25 You can't just slam their beliefs. Youhave to show them there's a better way.
1125 01:05:29 You need to inspire themlike you inspired me.
1126 01:05:33 You need to give them hope.
1127 01:05:35 Hope? How the fuckare we supposed to give them that?
1128 01:05:38 You got lucky and killed a stupid one.There's dozens of them down there.
1129 01:05:42 PerhapsI could be of some assistance.
1130 01:05:48 Who are you?
1131 01:05:50 I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol--
1132 01:05:52 His name's Gum. Just introduceyourself as Gum from now on.
1133 01:05:56 He's great. He's gonna help usget the upper hand on these fuckers.
1134 01:05:59 Show everyone we can fight back.
1135 01:06:02 Oh, shit. Brenda!
1136 01:06:06 Brenda! Brenda!
1137 01:06:09 Frank!
1138 01:06:10 Let's move, boys.
1139 01:06:16 Kind of stuffy in here, hey, girls?
1140 01:06:18 So I'm just gonna get out,get a little air for a second.
1141 01:06:21 - What's your problem?-Let go of me.
1142 01:06:22 First you smush Sally, and then you try tofuck up Red, White and Blue Day for us?!
1143 01:06:27 Get your hands off me! I gotta get out!
1144 01:06:29 Just chill out, you crazy bitch!
1145 01:06:31 - Bun fight! Check it out.-They're gonna kill us all!
1146 01:06:35 - Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. We need to hurry.-The bath salts are primed.
1147 01:06:47 Make it rain.
1148 01:06:56 What the fuck?
1149 01:06:58 All right, who did it?
1150 01:06:59 Gary, did you just throwthis fucking toothpick at me, man?
1151 01:07:03 Nothing happened. You said thiswould help us defeat them.
1152 01:07:06 Worked on the dudewhose head we chopped off.
1153 01:07:10 Let go of me! Let go of me!
1154 01:07:11 She's being chosen. We have to act!
1155 01:07:25 Whoa, God. What is happening?
1156 01:07:34 Oh, my God!
1157 01:07:38 There is no way this is gonna work.
1158 01:07:40 Have faith.
1159 01:07:51 Frank!
1160 01:07:53 Brenda!
1161 01:08:08 Let go of me! Let go of me!Oh, God! Oh, God!
1162 01:08:13 Stay away from my sausage,you skank!
1163 01:08:22 Frank.
1164 01:08:23 Brenda. Look, I'm so sorry.
1165 01:08:26 I've been dealing with this whole thingincredibly poorly.
1166 01:08:29 You really have.Honestly, it's been pathetic at times.
1167 01:08:33 But luckily, it's not too late.Come on.
1168 01:08:40 You see? There is hope!
1169 01:08:42 Oh, not this guy. No one askedfor an encore, asshole.
1170 01:08:46 No, no, don't worry. I got it this time.This time it's gonna be good.
1171 01:08:49 Look, I'm sorry.I wasn't respectful of your beliefs...
1172 01:08:53 ...and I acted like I hadall the answers, but I don't.
1173 01:08:57 Nobody knows everything.
1174 01:08:58 But what I do know is that togetherwe can fight these monsters...
1175 01:09:03 ...and take control of our own lives.
1176 01:09:05 Yes! Our lives and our bodies!
1177 01:09:08 We need to unite and stop focusingon each other's differences...
1178 01:09:12 ...especially in immatureand outdated ways.
1179 01:09:16 We have to cooperate--
1180 01:09:17 - Die!-Oh, no! Pizza!
1181 01:09:22 - The food's fucking possessed!-Oh, shit!
1182 01:09:27 - We're all gonna die! Oh, God!-it's devil food!
1183 01:09:32 Oh, my God!
1184 01:09:34 The sausage, he was right!They're evil!
1185 01:09:39 Oh, shit!
1186 01:09:49 Nobody's gonna help us.
1187 01:09:50 Then this is it.
1188 01:09:53 At least we go out together.
1189 01:10:01 - What the--?-You fuck with them...
1190 01:10:03 You fuck with us, bitch.
1191 01:10:06 Run, guys! We're out of ladles.
1192 01:10:08 Hop on, y'all.
1193 01:10:16 - Can't this thing go any faster?-Suck my pink cock.
1194 01:10:20 Come on, you candy asses.Join the fight!
1195 01:10:24 Hey, what do you think?Should we do it?
1196 01:10:28 Come on, guys. It's us or them.
1197 01:10:43 They're doing it.
1198 01:10:47 Yeah! We got him!
1199 01:10:50 - You ready for this?-I don't know.
1200 01:10:52 It's better to die a free candythan to live in bondage.
1201 01:10:57 This is gonna hurt so fucking much.
1202 01:11:13 Run, guys, run!
1203 01:11:16 Sergeant Pepper, cue the fruits!
1204 01:11:20 Fruits are a go. Go, fruits!
1205 01:11:25 No. Get away from me,you fucking fruits!
1206 01:11:28 Yeah, that's it!
1207 01:11:30 Beat him like a pinata!
1208 01:11:51 Get the Dark Lord!
1209 01:11:53 Why do you keep calling me that?!
1210 01:11:55 Fuck. Come on. Come on.
1211 01:11:59 Okay.
1212 01:12:00 Not exactly what I was looking for,but fuck it, you know. Hole's a hole, bro.
1213 01:12:07 Wait, snap out of it, man.
1214 01:12:09 Slap yourself in the face, man.
1215 01:12:11 Oh, man, you lost your mind. No way.This isn't real. No, this can't be real.
1216 01:12:15 - Oh, it's real, bro.-What?
1217 01:12:18 A talking douche.
1218 01:12:20 It's cool, bro. Chill, okay?
1219 01:12:22 No, no! This is too much.This is too much. Breathe, man.
1220 01:12:25 We both want the same thing.
1221 01:12:27 Like, I'm feeling like honestly the twoof us could, like, collaborate together.
1222 01:12:30 Like a mash-up, bro.
1223 01:12:32 A mash-up? I don't understand.What's happening?
1224 01:12:35 You don't need to understand.
1225 01:12:37 You just need to relax and open wide.
1226 01:12:40 Wait. What are you doing?!
1227 01:12:42 - Oh, yeah.-Dude! That went up my ass!
1228 01:12:47 Now, stand up.
1229 01:12:51 Turn right.
1230 01:12:54 Left.
1231 01:12:57 Yeah!
1232 01:13:04 Sausages and buns, let's party!
1233 01:13:18 Call 911!
1234 01:13:20 Huge mistake, bros.
1235 01:13:24 Oh, no.
1236 01:13:27 Brenda!
1237 01:13:32 Frank!
1238 01:13:36 Barry!
1239 01:13:48 Oh, so now you're gonnacome at me, bro?
1240 01:13:50 Oh, I'm coming at you.
1241 01:13:55 Okay, we got him, easy now.Easy now.
1242 01:13:59 It's hard when your head's up my assand you're yanking on the scrot.
1243 01:14:03 Look, sausage, I relish the fact...
1244 01:14:06 ...that you mustard the strengthto ketchup to me.
1245 01:14:11 Yeah, that's right. Shut your mouths.
1246 01:14:15 I sucked a juicy box's dick,and I'm shoved up a god's asshole.
1247 01:14:20 And this is the weirdest thingthat I've done so far, bro.
1248 01:14:26 - Oh, my God! Frank!- I'll tell you who eats shit:
1249 01:14:29 Gods do, bro.
1250 01:14:30 I'm a fucking god!
1251 01:14:33 Goodbye, little sausage.
1252 01:14:36 Oh, Frank.
1253 01:14:37 Hey, bun. Need a boost?
1254 01:14:40 Help me!
1255 01:14:41 PerhapsI could be of some assistance.
1256 01:14:50 Matter cannot be created or destroyed,human.
1257 01:14:53 You have made a fatal errorin judgment.
1258 01:14:56 Let me educate you.
1259 01:15:07 Fuck!
1260 01:15:20 What's happening out there?
1261 01:15:23 Now!
1262 01:15:27 So long, asshole!
1263 01:15:43 Yeah!
1264 01:15:45 It's over. We won.
1265 01:15:48 We fucking won!
1266 01:15:51 Yes!
1267 01:15:57 Yeah!
1268 01:16:04 - We did it.-We did. So...
1269 01:16:07 - So, what do we do now?-Whatever we want.
1270 01:16:09 What do you want?
1271 01:16:13 Let's just say, what I want involvesmuch more than:
1272 01:16:16 Just the tips
1273 01:16:18 Just the tips
1274 01:16:20 What I want is much more than justThe tips
1275 01:16:41 Oh, Frank!
1276 01:16:42 You know, I'm very conflicted abouthow I'm supposed to feel watching this.
1277 01:16:46 Then don't just watch.
1278 01:16:49 Wait a second. What are you doing?
1279 01:16:51 I was just told...
1280 01:16:52 ...that I am getting zero bottlesof extra virgin olive oil for eternity.
1281 01:16:56 - Oh, Frank!-So, maybe, you know...
1282 01:17:00 Kiss me hard on the mouth,why don't you?
1283 01:17:02 You wanna kiss me, motherfucker?Let me tell you a little secret.
1284 01:17:06 I'm going to fuck the fuck out of you.
1285 01:17:10 Kiss it, Frank. Kiss me there!
1286 01:17:15 Oh, yeah, Frank, that's it.Oh, yeah, it's dinnertime.
1287 01:17:18 Yo. I'm actually over herejerking off with these fellas.
1288 01:17:24 Once you go taco, you never go "back-o."
1289 01:17:32 Jesus fucking Christ!
1290 01:17:33 Hey, fellas.You thinking what I'm thinking?
1291 01:17:36 Pretty fucking sure I am.
1292 01:17:39 Oh, shit. Now it's on.
1293 01:17:43 Yeah!
1294 01:17:53 Excuse me. Excuse me. Can I get by?
1295 01:18:04 Yeah, I just came over here.I couldn't help but notice...
1296 01:18:07 ...you're a little smushed or something.You have a kind of abnormality.
1297 01:18:11 - Did you get--? Somebody sit on you?-Yeah.
1298 01:18:14 I got smushed.
1299 01:18:16 You know, I love the way your facejust kind of gives up halfway down.
1300 01:18:21 Yeah, cracker!
1301 01:18:22 Take that Grit dick, bitch!You like Grits in your ass, cracker?
1302 01:18:26 Say my name!It's Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol...
1303 01:18:33 I can't breathe! Stop it!
1304 01:18:41 What's the safety word?Molasses. Molasses.
1305 01:18:43 Oh, yeah. Fuck you!
1306 01:18:49 Yeah. That is all right.
1307 01:18:51 Want me to be a Hamburglar?
1308 01:18:54 I'm filling you. I'm filling you.
1309 01:18:57 I'm blowing my fucking load.Good God.
1310 01:19:02 Oh, fuck!
1311 01:19:08 My dick is drained.
1312 01:19:14 That was amazing.
1313 01:19:15 It was okay. But you were amazing.
1314 01:19:18 I can't believe we were saving ourselvesfor the Great Beyond when...
1315 01:19:21 - It was in front of us the whole time.-It was in front of us the whole time.
1316 01:19:25 I love you, Brenda.
1317 01:19:26 I love you, Frank.
1318 01:19:27 You know, my boner still hasn'tgone down. Is that bad?
1319 01:19:30 Bad for my asshole,I'll tell you that much.
1320 01:19:34 Seriously, though,your recovery time is off the charts.
1321 01:19:37 Guys! Oh, my God.You have to come with me right now.
1322 01:19:45 Hello there, little sausage.
1323 01:19:47 You and your friendshave accomplished the impossible.
1324 01:19:49 And for that, I give you mad props.
1325 01:19:53 But now that you have shatteredone truth, it is time for you to learn...
1326 01:19:59 ...that we are not real!
1327 01:20:05 While tripping balls, Firewater and I...
1328 01:20:07 ...made an importantmetaphysical breakthrough.
1329 01:20:10 The world is a fucking illusion, bro.
1330 01:20:12 Our lives are being manipulatedfor the entertainment of monsters.
1331 01:20:16 Twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters!Puppet masters in another dimension.
1332 01:20:22 We're something called...
1333 01:20:24 ...cartoons.
1334 01:20:26 Wha--?
1335 01:20:27 You, Frank, are the plaything of ademented, schlubby Jewish actor named:
1336 01:20:31 Seth Rog-An.
1337 01:20:34 Wait? I'm Jewish?
1338 01:20:35 So who am I?
1339 01:20:37 You are the toy of a more talentedand celebrated actor named:
1340 01:20:42 Ed-ward Nor-ton.
1341 01:20:45 Ed-ward Nor-ton?
1342 01:20:47 What kind of parent gives their kida stupid cunt name like that?
1343 01:20:51 Worry not, friends. I have a solution.
1344 01:21:00 I have invented a Stargate device thatwill allow us to travel to their dimension.
1345 01:21:05 Fuck, yeah, he did. And it's dope.
1346 01:21:07 This guy's smart. I mean like,fuck-a-guy smart. Know what I'm saying?
1347 01:21:11 Yeah, you do.
1348 01:21:13 We're gonna goto this other dimension...
1349 01:21:15 ...and cut the strings, once and for all!
1350 01:21:17 Anybody want a hit before we do this?
1351 01:21:19 You ready to get baked and walkthrough Gum's Stargate with me?
1352 01:21:23 As long as we're together,I'm ready to get baked and do anything.