桑迪(Sandy Wexler)(EN)Subtitles

SRT Subtitles download

Color: Size:1416 18202224 26283040 LightfaceBold StandardItalic

ASS Custom style subtitle

Subtitle Preview：
1 00:00:11 They said he wasout the door in two weeks.
2 00:00:13 Then I hear the guy's re-uppedfor five years.
3 00:00:14 The label hated it.
4 00:00:15 This castle belongsto the Duke of Gloucester.
5 00:00:18 So I realize that was the guy who keptangrily staring at me the whole time.
6 00:00:21 --Hey, Kevin. Hey, Lorne.
7 00:00:23 -You ready for this?-Yeah, what's that?
8 00:00:25 Oh, oh! We're gonna do the thing. Okay.
9 00:00:26 All right, you want to start it off?
10 00:00:28 - Talk to you, or talk to the lens?- Either way.
11 00:00:31 So, Sandy Wexler...
12 00:00:37 Where do I begin?
13 00:00:38 He may be the most unique guy I ever met.
14 00:00:41 If you were working in Los Angelesin the '90s, any time in there,
15 00:00:44 you'd run into Sandy Wexler at some point.
16 00:00:46 Sandy was one of thosefringe Hollywood managers
17 00:00:48 that you always sort of saw around.
18 00:00:50 You know, you'd see him at a wrap party,and he'd be laughing, stuffing his face.
19 00:00:55 You'd think,"No one even invited this guy."
20 00:00:57 Sandy said I could bethe next Patrick Swayze.
21 00:01:00 Only thing he ever said to methat made sense.
22 00:01:03 Sandy was not a big shot.He was a... He was a tiny shot.
23 00:01:07 But anybody who met him,you never forgot him.
24 00:01:11 You know, you gotta rememberthere was no YouTube, there was no Vines.
25 00:01:14 And none of that...None of the social media platforms.
26 00:01:16 You really needed a guy like Sandyto be seen.
27 00:01:18 Not Sandy.Not Sandy, but a guy like Sandy.
28 00:01:52 Hey, Arsenio!Nice to see you again, kiddo.
29 00:01:57 Have I seen you before?
30 00:01:58 Yeah, it's Sandy Wexler.
31 00:02:01 I met you at Bernie's beach house,with Doug and Danny.
32 00:02:05 You guys were playing hangman.
33 00:02:07 You were hysterical that night.No one could figure out the word "canoe."
34 00:02:12 I have no ideawhat you're talking about, man.
35 00:02:14 How you doing with your manager, kid?Are you still fighting?
36 00:02:17 I don't have a manager, man.
37 00:02:18 Well, you do now. If you want one.
38 00:02:21 No, I'm good. I... I have an agent.
39 00:02:23 -Oh.-As a matter of fact, I have six agents.
40 00:02:25 Got plenty of white people in my life.
41 00:02:26 -All right.-I'm good, dawg.
42 00:02:27 An agent is business. A manager is family.
43 00:02:31 He guides you. He advises you.He fights the good fights.
44 00:02:35 Makes the tough phone calls.
45 00:02:37 Truth is, I'm not happy unless...unless you're happy.
46 00:02:40 So what do you say, Arsenio?You wanna get happy together?
47 00:02:46 Continued success, Arsenio!
48 00:02:50 - Okay? Oh!
49 00:02:52 I got a hit on the hip, and it's Sinbad.
50 00:02:55 I don't think any of those peoplewere really beeping him.
51 00:02:57 'Cause he would just go, like,"Oh, jeez, Mackenzie Phillips."
52 00:03:00 The one thing about Sandy is,
53 00:03:01 -he just never stopped lying.-Always.
54 00:03:04 Managers get used to lying,but Sandy took it to an art form.
55 00:03:06 Where am I? I'm in Joel Silver's officeright now, talking about you.
56 00:03:11 If you land on your feet--
57 00:03:13 Hey, buddy, how long are you gonna be?
58 00:03:14 Excuse me, I am talkingto Lew Wasserman's neighbor right now.
59 00:03:19 That was Janet Maslin from the Times.
60 00:03:21 Sandy's personal life?
61 00:03:23 -I know nothing. I know nothing.-Did he have a personal life?
62 00:03:25 -He wasn't married.-Didn't date.
63 00:03:27 It was sad. Seemed like hedidn't have any friends, right?
64 00:03:29 He had no friends.
65 00:03:35 Any good?
66 00:03:41 No, no, no, no, no, no.
67 00:03:47 That's great.
68 00:03:50 But he wasthe king of the fake laugh
69 00:03:54 -and the applauding combo. Yeah.-Combo. Yeah.
70 00:04:00 Next time he'll get his own ketchup.
71 00:04:04 You gotta go.
72 00:04:05 Is Mary Jo Slaterthe casting agent on this?
73 00:04:07 -No. I don't know.-Good job, guys.
74 00:04:09 I was in Nam.But, you know, I was there in 1984,
75 00:04:12 so it was... It was a different vibe.
76 00:04:19 And then all I hear in the back is...
77 00:04:23 -He would fake laugh at funny comics.-That melon.
78 00:04:26 It was like, "Why are you fake laughing?
79 00:04:28 - It's Eddie Murphy. He's funny."- Right!
80 00:04:30 When it came to eatingwith Sandy, he, um...
81 00:04:33 It was like a smorgasbord on his face.
82 00:04:35 I mean, he was on the Atkins diet, right?So he always had, like, chicken...
83 00:04:38 -Kielbasa.-T-bone steak.
84 00:04:40 -Brisket.-Beef jerky.
85 00:04:41 I never actually ate with Sandy,but I did hear it was kind of gross.
86 00:04:46 Can you close your mouthjust a little bit?
87 00:04:50 What did I do?
88 00:04:51 He dressed like your grandfather,
89 00:04:54 he had the table manners of a horse,but he was a great manager.
90 00:04:59 He really cared about his clients.
91 00:05:02 He made them his family.He was with them all the time.
92 00:05:04 And, uh, I wasn't surewhat he was doing for them,
93 00:05:08 but you could feel the love.
94 00:05:09 I spoke to Chili's. I think I canget us the corner table there
95 00:05:13 and preorder the appetizers.
96 00:05:15 I don't give a shitabout Chili's right now.
97 00:05:17 I thought you wanted to go to Chili's.
98 00:05:18 -No, I never said that.-You said that.
99 00:05:20 That's okay.
100 00:05:21 You're nervous.I can see that you're sweating.
101 00:05:24 -I'm scared, Sandy.-Yeah.
102 00:05:25 I gotta jump over ten trailersand land on a waterbed.
103 00:05:29 Why are you laughing?
104 00:05:31 Because you're funny.You make me laugh.
105 00:05:33 -Well, I'm not trying to be funny.-No, it's the way you said it.
106 00:05:35 The way I said...What are you...
107 00:05:37 Look at the size of this crowd.
108 00:05:41 You said they'd come, and they came.
109 00:05:43 Ladies and gentlemenof El Segundo Motor Home Court,
110 00:05:48 here to defy gravity,
111 00:05:50 please let's welcome Wild Gary Roberts!
112 00:05:56 -Rodgers!-Rodgers!
113 00:06:00 He said that. He said Rodgers.
114 00:06:02 Yeah, 'cause I told him to!
115 00:06:03 He said it the first time.
116 00:06:05 I... I wish we could...'Cause he did say it the first time.
117 00:06:09 -Stop talking.-All right. I will.
118 00:06:12 You get up thereand you show these people who you are.
119 00:06:14 Gary Rodgers.
120 00:06:17 It's Gary Rodgers. You said that, right?
121 00:06:19 The second time.
122 00:06:20 Yeah, but you knew it.
123 00:06:21 Okay, guys, let's do this.
124 00:06:33 What are you saying?I don't know what you're...
125 00:06:38 What are you pointing to?I can only go forward.
126 00:06:45 Oh, my God.
127 00:06:47 He's really gonna jumpover all those trailers?
128 00:06:50 Sir, my client is the best daredeviltrapeze artist in the world.
129 00:06:53 Thank you very much.
130 00:06:55 Let's go.
131 00:06:58 Yeah!
132 00:07:00 - What?
133 00:07:05 --Oh, shit!
134 00:07:07 - Jesus Christ!
135 00:07:10 Sandy.
136 00:07:13 -He had this one guy, Ted Rafferty...-Oh, yeah.
137 00:07:15 ...who was a, you know, puppet act.Not that good. Like, a middle act.
138 00:07:18 He believed in him.He thought he was the greatest.
139 00:07:20 He's like, "I'm gonna make himthe next Mr. Buttons."
140 00:07:24 So, uh, Charlie,have you always been a puppet?
141 00:07:28 Well, I don't know.Have you always been a parade float?
142 00:07:32 I'm just tryingto get to know you better, that's all.
143 00:07:34 Know me better?I'm sitting on your lap.
144 00:07:38 No, but seriously,what's it like being a puppet?
145 00:07:40 Well, I come from a long line of puppets.
146 00:07:42 My father was a puppet.My father's father was a puppet.
147 00:07:46 Really? Was your father's father'sfather a puppet?
148 00:07:51 Wait for the punch line, buddy.
149 00:07:56 Somebody call JCPenney.One of the mannequins is on the loose.
150 00:08:02 Sir, have you ever hada date in your life?
151 00:08:04 Actually, I have.
152 00:08:06 Your Anita Bryant poster doesn't count.
153 00:08:12 But honestly, sir,how long have you been dead for?
154 00:08:20 Where do you come up with this stuff?I wish you didn't.
155 00:08:24 That was hysterical.
156 00:08:25 So you caught the whole show, then?
157 00:08:27 I saw every word of it.It was sensational.
158 00:08:30 I saw you come in late!
159 00:08:31 Nah. Nah, I was there the whole time.
160 00:08:34 Will you get a load of this bullcrap.
161 00:08:36 I was. I was.
162 00:08:38 Hey, hey, hey, hey,now, guys, guys, please.
163 00:08:40 All right. Sandy, I... I believe you.
164 00:08:42 Thank you, Ted.
165 00:08:43 And I was thinking, you'd do so well nowwith the beach theater crowd.
166 00:08:48 And you've got the once a month gigopening for Fred Travalena at the Trop.
167 00:08:52 I don't wanna lose that.
168 00:08:54 It might be timeto move on to the next level.
169 00:08:57 Kicking the piss out of you?
170 00:08:58 No. Television.
171 00:09:02 But...
172 00:09:04 I don't know the first thingabout the TV business.
173 00:09:06 That's why you got me.
174 00:09:07 -I know my way around the networks.-Liar!
175 00:09:09 Hey, I've had a relationshipwith CBS since 1965
176 00:09:13 when I was a PA on Gilligan's Island.
177 00:09:15 Now, look, kids love the puppets.And I know there's an audience for that.
178 00:09:19 Mmm, maybe.
179 00:09:22 Well, what about this?
180 00:09:23 I know it's out of left field,but how about a show for kids?
181 00:09:28 Yeah, I was just saying that.
182 00:09:29 So we agree.
183 00:09:32 My favorite thing about Sandyis where he lived.
184 00:09:35 The place was a palace.
185 00:09:36 He livedon the biggest property in Bel Air.
186 00:09:39 Yeah.
187 00:09:40 Gorgeous pool.
188 00:09:41 One of the finest collectionsof luxury cars I've ever seen.
189 00:09:45 Make sure you hydrate, Yoshi!It's a hot day!
190 00:09:51 Of course,none of it belonged to Sandy.
191 00:09:53 It was owned by some Jewish Iranian...
192 00:09:55 The guy never even set footin the United States.
193 00:09:58 ...who needed Sandy therefor legal reasons.
194 00:10:01 And he was not allowed in the main house.
195 00:10:05 He was in the cabana by the pool.
196 00:10:07 --No, no, no, no.
197 00:10:11 Oh, no! Oh, no, no!No, no, no!
198 00:10:15 Stay! Stay! Stay!
199 00:10:18 I've lived here for four years already.You should know me by now.
200 00:10:23 Get to see the face.The king of Hollywood.
201 00:10:25 Do you understand me?
202 00:10:27 - Sandy?- Ahh!
203 00:10:29 Oh. Hi, uh, Amy.Hi, Donna and Kendra.
204 00:10:33 -Lola.-Jesse.
205 00:10:35 Yeah, that's right.Wow, they're getting sharp.
206 00:10:39 What brings you all the way out herefrom Tarzana?
207 00:10:42 Well, you said you'd watch the kidswhile I go on the audition.
208 00:10:44 Is that still okay?
209 00:10:45 Oh, don't be silly. Of course.We're gonna have a good time, guys.
210 00:10:51 I have to get it, Sandy.
211 00:10:52 I'm working two jobsjust to tread water out here.
212 00:10:54 You're the quintessential American mother.Oscar Mayer would be crazy to pass on you.
213 00:10:59 Oscar Mayer? I thought I was auditioningto play a hooker in a Wes Craven movie.
214 00:11:03 You know what? My doctor put meon a new thyroid medicine.
215 00:11:07 He said it might make me foggy,and I guess he was right.
216 00:11:11 -Okay, Sandy, I'm gonna go.-Yeah.
217 00:11:12 Girls, be nice to Mr. Wexler. Okay?
218 00:11:14 Yes, Mommy.
219 00:11:15 -Oh, we're gonna have fun, guys.-Okay.
220 00:11:17 -Go get 'em, kid. Go get 'em.-Okay.
221 00:11:20 Oh, there's dogs out there. They--
222 00:11:22 Hey! Hi, guys. Hi, sweet girl. Hi.
223 00:11:28 So what are you shmegegges up for?
224 00:11:30 I have the original scriptof On Golden Pond.
225 00:11:33 Do you wanna read that out loud?
226 00:11:36 No?
227 00:11:37 What would you like to do?
228 00:11:38 Go swimming?
229 00:11:39 No, no, no.That could get me kicked out of here.
230 00:11:42 I thought you were the king of Hollywood?
231 00:11:44 I never said that.
232 00:11:45 -You said it to the dogs.-Like a minute ago.
233 00:11:48 No, I didn't.
234 00:11:50 You guys like roller coasters?
235 00:11:53 - Unbelievable.
236 00:11:55 Rifkin left Triad and he's joining forceswith Zifkin over at William Morris.
237 00:12:00 After I was promoted out of the mailroomat MCA, I was assigned to Frank Gorshin.
238 00:12:07 And Frank Gorshin used to have mehand-wash the Riddler costume,
239 00:12:12 because he felt washing machinesmight stretch out the material.
240 00:12:19 Hey, guys, this way.This way. Come with me.
241 00:12:24 ♪ All through the wintertime ♪
242 00:12:27 ♪ He hid himself away ♪
243 00:12:30 ♪ Ashamed to show his face ♪
244 00:12:33 ♪ Afraid of what others might say ♪
245 00:12:36 ♪ All through the winterIn his lonely clump of leaves ♪
246 00:12:42 -Hey, dude, I can't see.-What? Okay.
247 00:12:46 ♪ And very soon agreedIndeed ♪
248 00:12:51 Yes, a very fine swan indeed.
249 00:12:55 Take a look at yourself in the lake.You'll see.
250 00:12:58 ♪ I'm not such an ugly duckling ♪
251 00:13:00 ♪ No feathers all stubby and brown ♪
252 00:13:04 Pitch perfect.
253 00:13:06 ♪ In so many wordsSay the best in town ♪
254 00:13:11 - ♪ The best ♪
255 00:13:13 - ♪ The best ♪
256 00:13:14 ♪ The best in town ♪
257 00:13:18 Very nice.
258 00:13:20 Excuse me.You were fantastic up there.
259 00:13:22 -Oh, thanks. You're sweet.-Yeah.
260 00:13:24 It's corny, but it's fun.
261 00:13:25 Corny? That had an edge to it.I'm Sandy Wexler.
262 00:13:28 Courtney. Nice to meet you.
263 00:13:30 I just... I couldn't keepmy eyes off you up there.
264 00:13:33 Please don't hit on mein front of your kids. That's creepy.
265 00:13:36 -He's not our dad.-No, I'm not.
266 00:13:37 He's the king of Hollywood.
267 00:13:38 She thinks I said that to the dogs,but I didn't.
268 00:13:41 Listen, can we talk somewhere?I'm a talent manager.
269 00:13:44 I kinda gotta go.We have a show every 12 minutes.
270 00:13:46 It'll take four minutes of your time.It'll be worth it.
271 00:13:52 ...someone who advises you,someone who guides you,
272 00:13:56 who makes the tough phone calls,fights the big fights.
273 00:14:01 Atkins.
274 00:14:03 I mean, your voice,
275 00:14:05 it sounds like a...a bird and an angel had a baby.
276 00:14:10 And you just so happen to be beautiful.
277 00:14:12 You can't teach beautiful.
278 00:14:14 If you could, I'd be in class right now,believe me.
279 00:14:19 I'm telling you, you could be somebody.
280 00:14:21 Come on. If I was gonna be anybody,I'd be her by now.
281 00:14:25 Everybody's gotta start somewhere.
282 00:14:27 Buddy Hackett was a dishwasherin the Catskills till he was 60.
283 00:14:31 Barbra Streisand startedas a backup singer in a petting zoo.
284 00:14:35 Liza Minnelli used to sing in a coal mine.
285 00:14:38 Wasn't her mother Judy Garland?
286 00:14:40 No, that's made up.
287 00:14:43 The mightiest tornadostarts with a small breeze.
288 00:14:46 You sound like a fortune cookie.
289 00:14:48 I used to represent a guywho wrote fortune cookies.
290 00:14:51 Get out of here.
291 00:14:52 Yeah, he wrote for Happy Daysand fortune cookies.
292 00:14:56 Let me ask you something.
293 00:14:58 Why do you do what you do?
294 00:15:01 I don't know.
295 00:15:03 The only time I really feel aliveis when I'm singing.
296 00:15:06 Well, imagine if you were singingon stage in front of 50,000 people.
297 00:15:10 You think you'd feel alive then?
298 00:15:13 Up there singing like a birdand an angel had a baby?
299 00:15:17 You like the bird and angel thing,don't you?
300 00:15:19 I said that already?
301 00:15:20 -Can I ask you something?-Please do.
302 00:15:23 Can you get any of that foodin your mouth?
303 00:15:27 So you're saying I should quit right nowand leave with you?
304 00:15:32 You're too big for this duck pond.It's time to fly.
305 00:15:37 You like to make trouble,don't you, Sandy?
306 00:15:40 What do you say? Wanna team up?
307 00:15:42 I'll tell you what I told Josh Gelfandin the sixth grade
308 00:15:46 -when he asked me to the spring social.-Uh-huh.
309 00:15:48 I'd love to,but we gotta ask my dad first.
310 00:15:51 Ooh!
311 00:15:56 I guess I should have mentionedmy Dad's in Seward, Alaska.
312 00:15:59 Oh, that's fine. I love it there.
313 00:16:01 It's beautiful.
314 00:16:02 -Oh, you've been?-No, I haven't been there.
315 00:16:05 -But you just said---No, I didn't.
316 00:16:08 I guess I should have alsomentioned the prison thing.
317 00:16:10 Are you kidding?
318 00:16:11 - I was in prison my entire childhood.
319 00:16:14 An emotional prison.That's a life sentence, I'm telling you.
320 00:16:19 - The Yugo, imported from France.- Isn't it from Yugoslavia?
321 00:16:24 No. "You go" to France."You go" and have a good time. Bonjour.
322 00:16:34 Hey, Poppy.
323 00:16:35 How you doing?
324 00:16:37 Oh, it's always a great daywhen I see my little girl.
325 00:16:39 Mr. Clarke, truly a pleasure.Sandy Wexler of Wexler Artists.
326 00:16:44 Is this the fool that want to manage you?
327 00:16:46 Um, yes, I did come up hereto talk to you about that.
328 00:16:49 And if you're availableto speak, you know, and now's the time,
329 00:16:54 I would love to havea conversation about this.
330 00:16:56 If we could conversate, I'm here to--
331 00:16:58 What about Six Flags Magic Mountain?
332 00:17:01 I mean, she got benefits,a paycheck every week.
333 00:17:04 That mountain is truly magical.
334 00:17:06 No, it is.
335 00:17:07 I just, with all due respect,I think your daughter has the magic.
336 00:17:11 With her talent,she could have a dream-come-true life.
337 00:17:15 You mean, better than all of this?
338 00:17:18 What?
339 00:17:21 Dad.
340 00:17:23 Who else have you managed?
341 00:17:24 You ever hear of Indiana Jones?
342 00:17:27 You work with Harrison Ford?
343 00:17:28 No, but I do represent the guy
344 00:17:31 who got his heart pulled out of his chestin Temple of Doom.
345 00:17:34 I love that guy.
346 00:17:35 Everybody does.
347 00:17:37 I don't know anythingabout show business, Sandy.
348 00:17:39 How do I know if I can trust you?
349 00:17:41 Because I can look you dead in the eyeand promise you this:
350 00:17:46 I will always do what's bestfor your daughter.
351 00:17:55 Well, okay. In that case...
352 00:17:57 ♪ You got a new manager ♪
353 00:18:01 ♪ Thank you, Daddy ♪
354 00:18:03 ♪ What a wonderful moment ♪
355 00:18:05 The singing is just for us.
356 00:18:07 Okay. Good. Will do...Will never do it again.
357 00:18:10 You guys want to go out and celebrate?
358 00:18:12 I can't go nowhere.
359 00:18:13 Oh, that's right. I'm sorry.Please don't shiv me.
360 00:18:17 Shiv you? Man, I ain't no inmate. I workhere. I've got... got the night shift.
361 00:18:21 What the... What?
362 00:18:23 Got ya.
363 00:18:25 Oh! Ha!
364 00:18:27 Very good.
365 00:18:28 Darling, you should take Sandy outfor a dinner and a show, Alaskan style.
366 00:18:34 - That's amazing.- Right?
367 00:18:37 So good.
368 00:18:38 The northern lightsand my new friend Sandy.
369 00:18:43 That's as good as it gets.
370 00:18:45 Northern lights are something else.
371 00:18:47 I was actually talkingabout the burger, though.
372 00:18:49 - Is this bison, or is it moose meat?
373 00:18:51 What's making it so good?
374 00:18:53 It's a hamburger, crazy man.
375 00:18:55 -A hamburger?-And you're missing out without the bun.
376 00:18:58 Now, the bun...
377 00:18:59 If I lose five more pounds,it's back to the buns.
378 00:19:01 Oh, my God.
379 00:19:05 So you really think I could be somebody?
380 00:19:07 -You are going straight to the top.-Yeah?
381 00:19:10 Up therewith all the other beautiful stars.
382 00:19:13 Show me which star I am.
383 00:19:14 -You wanna know which star you are?-Yeah.
384 00:19:17 Let's see.
385 00:19:18 You are that one right there.
386 00:19:21 Sandy, that's an airplane.
387 00:19:23 I know. I told you, you were going places.
388 00:19:26 -That's real smooth, Sandy.-Thank you.
389 00:19:29 You must be a real lady-killer.
390 00:19:31 Listen,
391 00:19:32 if we're gonna do business together,we gotta have boundaries.
392 00:19:36 I'm sorry,but I learned that the hard way.
393 00:19:38 A bad breakup?
394 00:19:41 His name was Alfred.
395 00:19:43 Oh, you're gay!
396 00:19:46 I can see that now.
397 00:19:47 No, I'm not gay as far as I know.
398 00:19:50 -Alfred was my first client.-Mmm-hmm.
399 00:19:54 More than that.He was... He was my best friend.
400 00:19:56 Did he die?
401 00:19:57 No, no.
402 00:20:00 He got famous, and he, uh...and he dumped me.
403 00:20:05 That dick!
404 00:20:06 He wasn't a dick.I was the dick. It was my fault.
405 00:20:09 I let the friendshipget in the way of the business.
406 00:20:13 Now understand it's show business,not show friendship. Right?
407 00:20:17 That is so sad.
408 00:20:18 It's not sad. It's actually a good thing.
409 00:20:21 Because I got a stable of talentin Hollywood
410 00:20:25 that I, quite frankly,think is the best of the bunch.
411 00:20:29 And Eisner knows it, and Ovitch knows it.
412 00:20:33 I'm sorry,and I don't wanna toot my own horn
413 00:20:36 'cause that's not what I like to do,but toot-toot.
414 00:20:39 Hmm.
415 00:20:40 Best thing to me is I found you.
416 00:20:45 I'm glad you found me.
417 00:20:46 You're not as happy as I am.Trust me.
418 00:20:49 But we gotta get to work.
419 00:20:51 Whenever Sandy signed a new client,
420 00:20:53 he had a team of support people thatimmediately began making over the client.
421 00:20:57 He would just enroll everybodyin classes for the stuff they didn't do.
422 00:21:01 Movement, martial arts...
423 00:21:03 A posture person, and then a hair person.
424 00:21:06 -And no one was better off after that.-No.
425 00:21:08 It was a train wreck.
426 00:21:09 I'm not a dancer, Sandy.
427 00:21:10 -It doesn't matter if you can't dance.-It's all right.
428 00:21:13 -Miss Gideon is gonna teach you to move.-I got you, sweetheart.
429 00:21:16 -It's about presence on stage.-All right. That's enough, Sandy.
430 00:21:18 -All right. Here we go.-It's about being comfortable.
431 00:21:20 -You know, Baryshnikov, I hear---Shut it, Sandy. I got her.
432 00:21:23 --Who me? Who me? Who me?
433 00:21:26 I'm a rock star. I'm a rock star.
434 00:21:28 And pass the mic. Pass the mic.Down the mic. Down the mic.
435 00:21:32 That's it. That's it.
436 00:21:34 - That's it. Now you're in it.- Bobby Brown.
437 00:21:36 More madness! Stomp the ant.
438 00:21:38 Seattle. Seattle.
439 00:21:40 - She doesn't know how to dance?- You're a diva!
440 00:21:43 -This girl can do it all.-Feel it. And stop!
441 00:21:46 Hammer time!
442 00:21:52 Wonderful.
443 00:21:53 Okay. Let's see it.
444 00:21:56 --Very good.
445 00:22:00 Very bad.
446 00:22:01 Complete shit.
447 00:22:03 You know what? I don't like the ice cream.It's a bad idea. Looks terrible.
448 00:22:07 Now let's go sexy, huh?Can you give me some sexy, Courtney?
449 00:22:11 Come on.Let's put on some sexy music, Willow.
450 00:22:17 Okay. Yes. Let's shoop this shit.Shoop it up, huh?
451 00:22:21 Let's shoop the shoop.Show me the sexy. Come on.
452 00:22:24 Give me sexy.
453 00:22:26 Honey, think of something sexy, huh?
454 00:22:28 -Like what?-Like moose burgers.
455 00:22:31 --And there it is. Shoot that.
456 00:22:33 Ah, Sandy likes it. No one knows why.
457 00:22:36 Put your hand on your chin.
458 00:22:39 Not like you're stroking a beard.
459 00:22:41 Like you're thinking,thinking filthy thoughts.
460 00:22:44 Like wieners!
461 00:22:45 Ah, that's good, Willow!Wieners is good. You're brilliant today.
462 00:22:49 Come on. Hand on chin,thinking of wieners.
463 00:22:52 I suck at this.
464 00:22:53 -No, you don't. You're great.-Oh, come on.
465 00:22:55 It... You just... It's easy.
466 00:22:57 Then you do it, Sandy.
467 00:22:58 -Come on. Get over here.-No, no, no, no.
468 00:22:59 -You're a performer. I don't do that.-Come on, Sandy.
469 00:23:03 You said it's easy.Dream of the wieners, huh?
470 00:23:05 Come over here. Come on.
471 00:23:06 Do I wear my glasses,or do I take them off? Or...
472 00:23:08 Nobody gives a shit. Come on.
473 00:23:11 Eh...
474 00:23:13 -You put your hand on the chin.-Uh-huh.
475 00:23:16 You just... You think.
476 00:23:20 Huh? Just thinking.Little more thinking over here.
477 00:23:24 Yes, that's brilliant.
478 00:23:26 Beautiful. Thank you, Sandy.Clear out of frame.
479 00:23:30 -Get out.-No, I'm gonna miss him.
480 00:23:32 No, you'll be fine.Sexy will be right over here.
481 00:23:35 -Don't worry.-I'll be there.
482 00:23:36 He's still got his hand on his chin.He's so cute.
483 00:23:39 Ah, that's much better.
484 00:23:41 Yes, that's it.
485 00:23:43 Yes, now I see sexy.
486 00:23:51 The definition of, like, a given
487 00:23:53 is that kids wake upand they think, "Me so horny."
488 00:23:56 And then, you know, you don't needa song that just reinforces,
489 00:24:00 they know they're so horny.
490 00:24:01 If it was, like, "Me So Introspective"or something like that.
491 00:24:04 Or "Me So Ambivalent" or...
492 00:24:06 Just so good.
493 00:24:07 Talk about fearless. Best in town by far.
494 00:24:11 Isn't she?
495 00:24:13 She? Who's she?
496 00:24:15 What?
497 00:24:16 -Did you call him?-Yeah, I called him.
498 00:24:19 What'd he say?
499 00:24:22 -What'd who say?-The guy you called.
500 00:24:24 Who did I call?
501 00:24:26 The guy from the Young Comedians Special.
502 00:24:29 Oh, yeah. No, I gotta call him.
503 00:24:32 -So you didn't call him?-No, I called him.
504 00:24:34 No, you didn't.
505 00:24:36 I thought you called him.
506 00:24:37 Sandy, you're makingeven less sense than usual.
507 00:24:40 No, I'm not.
508 00:24:41 -Something's off.-Off how?
509 00:24:43 I don't know. Different.
510 00:24:46 Did you dye your hair or something?
511 00:24:48 I don't think so.
512 00:24:49 Maybe it's a brain tumor.
513 00:24:51 Maybe it is.
514 00:24:53 -Anyway, can we run lines?-Yeah, that's why I'm here.
515 00:24:58 I need to know the truth,you son of a bitch!
516 00:25:00 All right, I dyed my hair.Just the tips. You happy?
517 00:25:04 No, the line, Sandy.
518 00:25:06 I know. I was improvising.
519 00:25:09 But you want this line? Um...
520 00:25:11 "The truth? You wouldn't know the truthif it bit you on the--"
521 00:25:16 Bird.
522 00:25:17 We gotta find a way.Don't you think, Sandy?
523 00:25:20 Sandy?
524 00:25:22 A way? What way?
525 00:25:24 A way to get rid of the birds.
526 00:25:26 Yeah, a bird and a baby had an angel.
527 00:25:30 Are you stoned or something?
528 00:25:31 Stoned? I don't do pot. Come on.
529 00:25:34 Well, you seem stoned out of your mind.What's with the crazy smile?
530 00:25:38 I don't know, I'm just smiling at the factyou might become the new Captain Kangaroo.
531 00:25:43 He's lying again.
532 00:25:44 No, I'm not. I'm not lying.
533 00:25:46 I've been thinking about how youcan work on your kid-friendly material.
534 00:25:50 Maybe go to Magic Mountain.
535 00:25:52 When you see all the children on line,just start doing jokes for 'em.
536 00:25:55 -See if it works.-That feels very child molestery.
537 00:25:57 He wants to ruin you. Fire him!
538 00:26:00 Fire me?If you're firing anybody, I'd fire him.
539 00:26:02 He's useless. He does nothing.
540 00:26:04 I do everything! What do you do?
541 00:26:06 Guys, guys, guys!Come on, we're on the same team here.
542 00:26:08 -That's what I'm trying to tell him.-Yes.
543 00:26:10 Teammates?
544 00:26:12 Yeah, thank you.
545 00:26:14 -You took my arm! You took my arm!-Oh, come off it. That's--
546 00:26:18 -You took my arm!-That's not...
547 00:26:20 Thank you, Martin.
548 00:26:21 Let's find out who the judges choseas returning champ tonight.
549 00:26:26 The judges gave Kevin Connors one star
550 00:26:30 and the champion,Martin Lawrence, four stars!
551 00:26:34 The new champion, Martin Lawrence.
552 00:26:37 --Oh... Come on.
553 00:26:40 Wexler Artists.
554 00:26:42 - It's me.- Hi, Kevin.
555 00:26:44 Did you know that was on?
556 00:26:45 No. I didn't knowthey were gonna repeat it.
557 00:26:47 -I never want to see that again!-Well...
558 00:26:49 I can't stop them, Kevin, legally,'cause we signed an agreement.
559 00:26:53 It's... They own the material.
560 00:27:14 Well, she'd light up a roomin that purple one.
561 00:27:26 Sandy!
562 00:27:28 Barry Bubatzi.
563 00:27:31 Barry.
564 00:27:32 Yeah, I wasCarr D'Angelo's assistant?
565 00:27:36 -Hiccups? That's you?-Yeah.
566 00:27:39 - Look at this. Hiccups.- Yeah.
567 00:27:41 Bubatzi!
568 00:27:43 He... he called me Hiccups
569 00:27:45 because I had the hiccups this one timeI was on the phone with him.
570 00:27:47 Well, listen,he didn't just have the hiccups,
571 00:27:49 - he had the hiccups.
572 00:27:50 -He wouldn't stop hiccupping.-Yeah.
573 00:27:52 Uh, you can die from hiccups.I was terrified.
574 00:27:56 I was actually concerned.
575 00:27:57 --It was nerve-racking. A little bit.
576 00:28:01 How's your sister?Did she get into Penn State?
577 00:28:04 -She just graduated.-Another successful Bubatzi.
578 00:28:07 -You see, that is why I love this guy.-What?
579 00:28:11 He actually talked to mewhen I was just an assistant.
580 00:28:15 You treated me with respect, Sandy.
581 00:28:17 -Not many people did.-Well, of course.
582 00:28:18 -This is my girl, Mary.-Hi.
583 00:28:20 Mary. Sandy Wexler.
584 00:28:22 -Nice to meet you.-Nice to meet you.
585 00:28:23 Are you...What happened to your arm?
586 00:28:25 -Yeah, I got myself a tattoo.-What'd you get?
587 00:28:29 Uh... it is that of a dog bite.
588 00:28:34 So how's Carr D'Angelo?
589 00:28:36 Well, he, uh... he left.He's working for Blockbuster Video now.
590 00:28:39 Smart move.The music business has its ups and downs,
591 00:28:43 but Blockbuster Video's herefor the long haul.
592 00:28:47 And you, what are you up to?
593 00:28:49 I left, too.
594 00:28:50 -I'm at Capitol Records now.-Oh.
595 00:28:52 He's head of A&R.
596 00:28:55 You know how happy that makes me?
597 00:28:57 Hiccups Bubatzi goes big time.
598 00:29:00 That's just...That's the way it should be.
599 00:29:02 You worked your ass off, kiddo.
600 00:29:04 Can I talk business for a second?Is that all right?
601 00:29:07 I have a client that, actually,you would love to meet--
602 00:29:09 -Tell you what...-What?
603 00:29:10 Call my office next week. Yeah.
604 00:29:14 I mean, you sure? 'Cause I will call.
605 00:29:16 - I know.
606 00:29:18 -It was great seeing you, pal.-It was great seeing you.
607 00:29:20 And I hope, uh,one of those dresses works out for you.
608 00:29:23 - Oh, no, this isn't...- Cute.
609 00:29:25 - It was... I mean...- So good.
610 00:29:28 It's a Bubatzi world. We're all just--
611 00:29:30 Could you pleasenot block the whole aisle?
612 00:29:33 We're all just living in it.
613 00:29:35 I wasn't blocking the aisle.
614 00:29:42 Wow.
615 00:29:46 -Hi.-Hey, neighbor.
616 00:29:48 Hi, Cindy!
617 00:29:49 Where's thatbillionaire landlord of yours?
618 00:29:52 Is he ever going to grace uswith his presence?
619 00:29:54 What a question.
620 00:29:56 Listen, he's supposed to come outfor Rosh Hashanah,
621 00:29:59 but he said last year Purim,so who knows?
622 00:30:01 --But anyways, how are you?
623 00:30:03 How is your husband?
624 00:30:05 Doctors say it could be any day now. Hmm.
625 00:30:07 Oh, I'm so sorry. It's just...
626 00:30:11 How are you doing?No one ever asks how you're doing.
627 00:30:13 How you feeling?
628 00:30:15 The truth is that I'm just...
629 00:30:17 a little bit lonely.
630 00:30:19 You were together so long.Of course you're lonely.
631 00:30:22 So if you ever seemy tennis court lights on at night...
632 00:30:26 that means that I could use some company.
633 00:30:31 -It was great to see you, Cindy.-Bye, Sandy.
634 00:30:35 Okay, we're gonna go.All right. Good night, now.
635 00:30:39 Good night.
636 00:30:40 Look, Gary Rodgers can't make that jump
637 00:30:43 unless you clearevery bird from the sky, Tom.
638 00:30:49 I don't know. Is there a spray for it?Like, a... a roach spray or...
639 00:30:53 There's dogs. There's dogs.
640 00:30:55 A roach spray for birds.
641 00:30:58 Tom, I'm sorry.That's not my job. That's your job.
642 00:31:01 That's why I'm telling you.
643 00:31:03 I'm telling ya!
644 00:31:05 Listen, don't do that to me!I'll pull the plug on this thing!
645 00:31:09 Do you hear me?
646 00:31:12 All right. I'm sorry I got hot there,Tom, but you weren't listening.
647 00:31:15 Okay, here's a stock tipfor you to make up for that.
648 00:31:19 Pull all your money out of Apple,
649 00:31:21 'cause no one's usingthe Macintosh anymore.
650 00:31:23 Put 80% into small local bookstores,the other 20% into Woolworth's.
651 00:31:31 - Righto.
652 00:31:33 -Look at you, Mr. Manager Man.-You don't wanna yell at people,
653 00:31:36 but sometimesit's the only way they can hear.
654 00:31:38 You look stunning.
655 00:31:40 Well, this yard is the most amazing yardI've ever seen, and that pool--
656 00:31:45 The pool's off-limits. House rules.
657 00:31:47 So, Yuri stopped by my office.
658 00:31:49 Yeah, I know. He's right there.
659 00:31:54 You see him? Let's go over.
660 00:31:58 We need to find the onethat expresses the right message.
661 00:32:01 You know, "I'm fun.I'm complicated. I'm sexy."
662 00:32:04 I'm confused. I'm crazy. I'm embarrassed.
663 00:32:06 You're beautiful is what you are.Stop that.
664 00:32:09 --Got a hit on the hip.
665 00:32:12 This is someone I actually have to call.
666 00:32:15 Okay, I'll be back in a few seconds.
667 00:32:17 Okay, cool, we'll be in the pool.
668 00:32:20 - You stay out of the pool.
669 00:32:21 I was just kidding.
670 00:32:23 I know, and it was hysterical.
671 00:32:25 But seriously, stay out of the pool.
672 00:32:27 No, not you, Barry. Hi!
673 00:32:31 -I don't know how you do it.-Do what?
674 00:32:34 Deal with all the crazy Sandy shit.
675 00:32:37 -Man, he's such a---Boner face?
676 00:32:40 -I love that.-He's not a boner face.
677 00:32:42 -He's a badass.-Okay.
678 00:32:45 Well, listen, this girl is oneof the best singers you'll ever see,
679 00:32:48 and the best, brightest person ever.
680 00:32:50 I'm gonna go with the oneon the top right corner.
681 00:32:55 And can you blow up... that one?
682 00:32:59 Oh, my God.
683 00:33:00 What? It's a good picture.
684 00:33:02 Sandy already asked me to do that for him.
685 00:33:07 I have some interesting news.
686 00:33:09 Capitol Records wantsto meet with you next week.
687 00:33:13 They want to hear your demo.
688 00:33:16 I don't have a demo.
689 00:33:17 That's why you have me.
690 00:33:22 ♪ You make it feel like home ♪
691 00:33:26 ♪ You give me butterflies, butterfliesDown to my soul ♪
692 00:33:33 ♪ Butterfly, butterflyYou don't even know ♪
693 00:33:38 ♪ It's you who I speak ofAnd you who I dream of ♪
694 00:33:44 ♪ And nights when I'm all alone ♪
695 00:33:50 ♪ You make it feel like home ♪
696 00:34:01 Courtney, one take. Perfection.
697 00:34:05 You nailed it. That was...
698 00:34:08 Thank you so much.
699 00:34:09 I'm gonnaplay this back in here.
700 00:34:12 I can't get over what I just heard. Wow.
701 00:34:15 My God.
702 00:34:17 Play it back. I...I don't even know what to say right now.
703 00:34:22 Uh...
704 00:34:26 There's a chance I forgot to hit record.
705 00:34:30 What do you meanthere's a chance you forgot?
706 00:34:32 -I... I was gonna hit record...-Uh-huh.
707 00:34:35 Uh, then I forgot.
708 00:34:38 So it's more than a chance.
709 00:34:39 -You... you did forget?-Yes.
710 00:34:42 Okay, so what do we do now?
711 00:34:45 Is it another deck you have?Is it in the board?
712 00:34:48 No.
713 00:34:50 -So we'll have to do it again.-Okay.
714 00:34:54 Okay? It's okay with you?
715 00:34:56 If it's okay with you to do it again.
716 00:34:58 -That's where we are right now, huh?-Okay.
717 00:35:01 Let's just go again.
718 00:35:05 Courtney, there was an issueon the subwoofer.
719 00:35:09 It was a bit tinny.
720 00:35:10 We adjusted that,and we're ready for you this time.
721 00:35:13 I'm sorry. On us, not you.Just one more time.
722 00:35:17 We're gonna keep our eyeson the road. Okay?
723 00:35:20 You got it.
724 00:35:21 Please promise meit's as good as your first one.
725 00:35:24 I'm... Ha!
726 00:35:26 You know... You know you can do that.Okay. All right.
727 00:35:30 Go get 'em, kiddo.
728 00:35:36 ♪ Once in a whileYou find someone ♪
729 00:35:41 ♪ I dream ofAt nights when I'm all alone ♪
730 00:35:49 ♪ You make it feel like home ♪
731 00:35:57 I am so happy we had another take,because that just killed me.
732 00:36:02 It was so on the money.
733 00:36:04 You were hitting notesI didn't know were invented yet.
734 00:36:07 Thank you from the bottom of my heart.I'm gonna take a listen.
735 00:36:17 God damn it!
736 00:36:21 I should have knownyou would never press the button.
737 00:36:23 You didn't remember to put the buttonon your goddamn overalls!
738 00:36:33 Is everything okay out there?
739 00:36:35 Yes, kiddo,we are doing just fine. Um...
740 00:36:39 We need to go one last time.There was a glitch.
741 00:36:42 There was a tremolo-treble-bass hiccupthat we have rectified,
742 00:36:48 and we're ready for ya.
743 00:36:50 Take three it is.Three time's the charm. Ha!
744 00:36:53 -Okay, kiddo, let's hit 'em.-Okay.
745 00:36:58 It's not rolling. It's not rolling.
746 00:37:01 Press the button!
747 00:37:04 Push it! It's spinning, right?!
748 00:37:08 ♪ Butterflies, butterfliesDown to my soul ♪
749 00:37:14 ♪ Butterfly, butterflyYou don't even know ♪
750 00:37:17 I mean, it's... it's like a birdand an angel and a saxophone
751 00:37:24 -made love and had a baby.-Oh, wow.
752 00:37:27 I'm also hearing a trianglejust between all the choruses.
753 00:37:33 How can you hear a shape?
754 00:37:35 The instrument!
755 00:37:37 Just...
756 00:37:38 ♪ Butterflies ♪
757 00:37:43 ♪ Butterflies ♪
758 00:37:46 And then it would be perfect.
759 00:37:48 Really? A triangle?
760 00:37:51 You don't think that will sound corny?
761 00:37:52 Way in the back. Just barely audible.
762 00:37:55 ♪ You make it feel like home ♪
763 00:38:11 These guys get...
764 00:38:16 Sandy, um, my dad wanted to make surethat I said hi to you.
765 00:38:20 -Your father, Marty?-Yeah.
766 00:38:21 Say hi for me.He's a good man. A smart man.
767 00:38:24 Um, he felt bad that you didn't getinto Hillcrest Country Club this year.
768 00:38:28 Oh, listen, that's not his fault. I was...That was fine. There's other clubs.
769 00:38:33 No, actually I thinkthat his was the deciding vote.
770 00:38:36 No. It's a capacity thing.It's not his fault. It's...
771 00:38:39 Let's do the meeting.
772 00:38:40 -All right. We're glad you're here.-Okay. Good.
773 00:38:43 So anyway, now that we gotthe formalities out of the way...
774 00:38:45 Everybody got their Fruitopia?Good, good, good.
775 00:38:48 So, spoke to Barry.
776 00:38:50 And, uh, Barry wanted usto listen to your demo,
777 00:38:52 and I gotta say, some good stuff there.
778 00:38:54 Thank you.
779 00:38:55 Just to... I mean, to me, no one's doingwhat this kid is doing out there.
780 00:38:59 It's... it's not Mariah.It's not Whitney. It's--
781 00:39:01 Well, listen, if she got the album salesof Whitney, we'll take it.
782 00:39:04 --Oh. Well, no,
783 00:39:05 in terms of soundand commerciability, absolutely.
784 00:39:08 It's definitely Whitney.It's a Whitney, 100%.
785 00:39:10 -Yeah, it has potential.-Well, hold on now.
786 00:39:12 The production quality is complete shit.
787 00:39:14 Complete shit. Terrible.
788 00:39:16 But the song has potential.Yeah, no diggity, no doubt.
789 00:39:20 -Thank you.-That's it.
790 00:39:21 The song is all we're worried about.
791 00:39:23 You gotta lose the corny triangle,though, man.
792 00:39:26 Yeah, yeah, yeah.No, consider that gone.
793 00:39:29 Let me ask you something, man.Whose insane idea was that, anyway?
794 00:39:33 Whose idea was it? Was it your idea?
795 00:39:35 No, it was that... It was the engineer's.
796 00:39:37 I gotta be honest.It was absolutely ridiculous.
797 00:39:40 I mean, how big of an assholedo you have to be to say,
798 00:39:44 "You know what? Let's put a...
799 00:39:46 ...at the end of a ballad"?
800 00:39:51 So, ready to check out our digs?
801 00:39:56 This is Studio A.
802 00:40:00 Les Paul helped engineer it,and Sinatra made it infamous.
803 00:40:04 I'm telling you,this studio is all that...
804 00:40:07 and a bag of chips.
805 00:40:10 Yes.
806 00:40:13 See this star here?
807 00:40:15 This star marks the spotwith the best acoustics on the...
808 00:40:21 Sandy?
809 00:40:22 -How many of these things are there?-We got a lot.
810 00:40:25 -Can we talk about this star for a second?-Yeah, go ahead.
811 00:40:28 It's got the best acousticson the entire planet.
812 00:40:30 -You good, Sandy?-Comfortable.
813 00:40:33 -Could I?-Right there.
814 00:40:53 What the hell?Why the lights out?
815 00:40:55 Electric bill?Did you guys pay it this month?
816 00:40:57 No, he's leaningon the light switch.
817 00:41:00 No, I'm not.
818 00:41:01 - Can you step aside, Sandy?- Sure.
819 00:41:06 What? That wasn't me. Wasn't me.
820 00:41:08 --Let's try this again.
821 00:41:12 From the top.
822 00:41:18 Sandy, step awayfrom the light switch.
823 00:41:20 I did it on purpose that time.A joke.
824 00:41:23 I can't make jokes, guys?Come on.
825 00:41:26 Come on. If we're gonna do business,we gotta realize it's fun, too.
826 00:41:30 Ha. Ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha.Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Sandy.
827 00:41:34 Ha-ha-ha-ha. Sandy.
828 00:41:39 ♪ Last night I had a dream ♪
829 00:41:42 ♪ When I was 17 ♪
830 00:41:43 ♪ I was in love with you ♪
831 00:41:46 ♪ And you were so in love with me ♪
832 00:41:48 -Yo, man, this girl can sing.-I told you.
833 00:41:52 ♪ You got down on bended kneeSaid you wanna marry me ♪
834 00:41:55 ♪ Or was that just a fantasy ♪
835 00:41:58 ♪ All I know is what I know ♪
836 00:42:02 ♪ And when I wanna beIs living in a dream ♪
837 00:42:06 ♪ We still fall in loveForever ♪
838 00:42:11 She got anyone?'Cause I think she's my type.
839 00:42:14 What are you doing here?
840 00:42:16 Why are we worriedabout her marital status?
841 00:42:18 Shouldn't you be preparing your rap, Mase?
842 00:42:20 We're gonna get to it.
843 00:42:22 - Old man, we're gonna get to all of it.
844 00:42:24 "Old man"? I ain't that old.
845 00:42:26 ♪ Last night I had a dreamThat you were here with me ♪
846 00:42:29 ♪ And we were in a tree ♪
847 00:42:31 ♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
848 00:42:33 ♪ I love himI need him so ♪
849 00:42:36 Come on. Come on. Come on.
850 00:42:39 ♪ I'll kiss you on your neck, yes ♪
851 00:42:41 ♪ Then you can say you had the best, yes ♪
852 00:42:43 ♪ As I give you the gameEyes of champagne ♪
853 00:42:45 ♪ Blowin' on the jetCall it hydroplane ♪
854 00:42:48 He doesn't have his own microphone?
855 00:42:50 No, no, check it out.
856 00:42:52 ♪ Mr. DJ ♪
857 00:42:57 ♪ Take me to a time when heWas still in love with me ♪
858 00:43:01 ♪ Mr. DJ ♪
859 00:43:04 ♪ Please send me a dream ♪
860 00:43:06 ♪ Put my finger in a ringAnd gave his... ♪
861 00:43:12 Every song is incredible.That album is gonna be massive.
862 00:43:15 So Babyface produced it?Like the Babyface?
863 00:43:18 Like, the guy with the face of a baby?
864 00:43:20 He has a very childlike face, it's true.
865 00:43:23 It's so good for women, so strong.
866 00:43:25 It's like Emmylou Harris,if she was raised in Neil Young's tour van
867 00:43:29 and doing blow with Iggy Popand Etta James in a Mississippi bayou.
868 00:43:32 Wow. Thanks, I think?
869 00:43:34 She doesn't understand how good that is?
870 00:43:37 No, I do. I'm just gratefulyou all actually just listened to it.
871 00:43:40 That's what we do. It's our ritual.
872 00:43:42 Whenever anybody at Wexler Artistscompletes a project,
873 00:43:46 -we gather together.-We do?
874 00:43:48 We didn't even knowyou had other clients until today.
875 00:43:51 Oh, you guys all knew about each other.
876 00:43:53 I knew you had other clients,
877 00:43:54 but you told me I wasin a different league from them.
878 00:43:56 - That's what the prick told us, too.
879 00:43:59 Sorry, we've never done the ritual before.
880 00:44:01 If it's a first time, Sandy,how can it be a ritual?
881 00:44:03 Okay, and who is that guy?
882 00:44:05 Can we put him in a drawer or something?That's horrifying.
883 00:44:08 Sandy, aren't you forgettingthe best part of the ritual?
884 00:44:11 -What's that, dear?-Jumping in the pool.
885 00:44:13 -Yeah! Let's do it!-Oh, no, no, no, no!
886 00:44:15 No, that's not part of the ritual!
887 00:44:19 No, no, no, wait!We are not permitted in the pool! Okay?
888 00:44:22 -Firuz forbids it.-You're not in a cult, are you, Sandy?
889 00:44:25 No, Firuz is my landlord.
890 00:44:27 He does not allow us in the pool.It is forbidden.
891 00:44:30 No, no. All right!
892 00:44:32 Ah! Don't you come any closer, Sandy.I'll put my whole foot in, I swear.
893 00:44:35 - No, no!
894 00:44:36 -Please don't... No!-Ooh!
895 00:44:38 No, I am not kidding you, Courtney.I will let you go as a client.
896 00:44:41 - I didn't wanna have to say that.- Oh, my God.
897 00:44:43 Do not put your foot in the pool,or the career is done.
898 00:44:46 And I'm not... I'm not messing with you.
899 00:44:47 -Oh, God.-I don't care what you're saying.
900 00:44:49 Whoa!
901 00:44:51 Okay, you did it! You did it!You did the foot.
902 00:44:53 You did the foot. The foot is wet.
903 00:44:54 Please come back in the house.I'm asking nicely.
904 00:44:58 I just don't have... I can't...
905 00:45:00 I wasn't gonna go in.
906 00:45:02 I know you weren't gonna go in.
907 00:45:04 I... I can't joke, too?
908 00:45:06 -Really? "I know you won't."-I can't joke, too.
909 00:45:09 Whoo! Cannonball!
910 00:45:11 Whoo!
911 00:45:32 Maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow, okay?
912 00:45:35 Maybe I'll wear you tomorrow.
913 00:45:36 And... and it's not you guys.You're doing great.
914 00:45:38 I love you guys.I love you guys, all right?
915 00:45:40 Good night. Good night, everybody.
916 00:45:42 Good night.
917 00:45:45 ♪ Once in a whileYou find someone ♪
918 00:45:50 ♪ Right from the startYour heart is done ♪
919 00:45:56 ♪ Feels something like... ♪
920 00:45:57 - Sandy?- Who's that?
921 00:46:00 Don't "who's that" me, man.
922 00:46:02 Why do you screw Firuz?
923 00:46:04 -Firuz?-Yes.
924 00:46:06 I don't see you.Show your face!
925 00:46:09 I'm in Tehran, you imbecile.
926 00:46:11 I tell you to stay out of my pool,and what do you do?
927 00:46:14 You go in my pool.
928 00:46:16 Uh, nobody went in your pool.No, no, who told you that? The dogs?
929 00:46:19 I have cameras everywhere, man.I'm watching you all the time.
930 00:46:23 You're much betterthan anything we have on Iranian TV.
931 00:46:26 I see you with bacon over the sink,
932 00:46:28 I see you fall asleep in my chair,watching my Cinemax.
933 00:46:31 And I see your godless friends in my pool!
934 00:46:33 No, no, listen, Firuz.Here's what happened.
935 00:46:35 There was an earthquake in Los Angeles.
936 00:46:38 So we just went in the pool'cause it's the safest place to be.
937 00:46:42 But we didn't go all the way in.No water was touched.
938 00:46:45 Sandy, you lie all the time, man.It's embarrassing.
939 00:46:48 I wish I was lying. I wish I was.
940 00:46:51 And how many times are you going tolisten to that one song, my friend?
941 00:46:53 I mean, mix in a littleMiami Sound Machine or something.
942 00:46:56 It's a client of mine. Courtney Clarke.
943 00:46:58 What, you don't like it?
944 00:46:59 The song is good, and I like her, too.
945 00:47:02 You know, when she was in bathroom,I got quite a good look at her.
946 00:47:04 - You what?- Firuz joking.
947 00:47:06 I don't have camerasin bathroom anymore.
948 00:47:09 I had them taken outwhen you had the big hemorrhoid.
949 00:47:11 That wasn't a hemorrhoid,that was a fissure.
950 00:47:14 But, Sandy, people in my pool,this I do not like!
951 00:47:17 -I---That's strike one, Sandy!
952 00:47:19 I'm telling you--
953 00:47:20 -You don't want to get strike two.-I... I agree.
954 00:47:23 - Goodbye from Firuz.
955 00:47:26 Bye-bye.
956 00:47:31 You know, I did tell them not to goin the pool, and they did it anyway.
957 00:47:36 -So you admit it?-No! I--
958 00:47:37 Strike two! Firuz knows everything.
959 00:47:45 Okay,what are we doing today, big guy?
960 00:47:47 We going to Jerry's?Or you want to go to Carney's?
961 00:47:51 I can go either one.
962 00:47:52 It's all good for the Atkins.I can get a frankfurter, no bun.
963 00:47:56 -I know.-I can get a plate of roast beef...
964 00:47:58 -or corn beef---Don't go over the whole menu.
965 00:48:00 I don't give a shit about your roast beef.
966 00:48:01 Stu Smiley passed on mefor the Young Comedians Special.
967 00:48:04 -That's right. He...-I don't even believe it.
968 00:48:05 -He's a moron.-He's not a moron.
969 00:48:07 He's a pompous know-it-all,smarmy little Ivy League pussy.
970 00:48:12 -He went to San Diego State... actually.-You're kidding me right now, right?
971 00:48:17 You corrected me'cause he went to San Diego State?
972 00:48:19 No, I'm agreeing with you.
973 00:48:21 I'm saying you are too smartand too topical to be on HBO.
974 00:48:26 They like young and stupid.
975 00:48:28 -They like cute and moronic.-Yes.
976 00:48:30 -Nothing challenging, nothing unfamiliar.-No.
977 00:48:32 -They want some, like, ex-Florida DJ...-Ha!
978 00:48:35 ...who's blandly handsome,
979 00:48:37 and his little gimmicks, his voice crackson the punch line or he's...
980 00:48:41 Pretends to be trippingon acid the whole set.
981 00:48:44 Chinese food?
982 00:48:47 I don't want Chinese food for lunch.
983 00:48:49 All right, beef and broccoli.
984 00:48:51 This conversation goes a lot betterwhen it's just me talking.
985 00:48:53 -I'm not in the conversation?-Oh, you are, but you aren't.
986 00:48:56 You can let... Blast off on me. Go ahead.Yell at me as much as you want.
987 00:49:00 As long as you promise to bring iton the stage with you tonight,
988 00:49:03 -and you show HBO...-I promise.
989 00:49:05 ...they don't need to discover you.
990 00:49:06 Kevin Connors will discover himself.Thank you very much.
991 00:49:09 What does that even mean?How do I discover myself?
992 00:49:13 Do you know how dumb that sounds?
993 00:49:15 That's one of the... Don't click.Why're you clicking? Stop clicking!
994 00:49:18 You always click wheneveryou get nervous. It's psychotic.
995 00:49:21 - Your technique...
996 00:49:22 What is that?
997 00:49:24 It's, uh... That's Courtney's song.
998 00:49:26 That's... Ask her what station it is.
999 00:49:28 What station is it?
1000 00:49:30 Excuse me, miss? Oh, wow. Hi.
1001 00:49:33 Oh, my God, I know you.
1002 00:49:35 -She knows me.-Hey. Yeah.
1003 00:49:36 Didn't you get one staron Star Search the other day?
1004 00:49:39 - No.
1005 00:49:40 This... What station are you listening to?The number?
1006 00:49:43 -What?-The station you're listening to?
1007 00:49:45 You need to enunciate.I can't understand what you are saying.
1008 00:49:47 No, no, what is the dial number?
1009 00:49:49 What are you tripping about, bro?
1010 00:49:51 I'm asking youwhat station you're listening to!
1011 00:49:54 Don't you... What are you...
1012 00:49:56 Good job. You scared her off.
1013 00:49:58 - Oh, come on here.
1014 00:50:00 It's your Uncle Joe Benson...
1015 00:50:04 - There it is. There it is!
1016 00:50:07 This is Courtney's song.
1017 00:50:10 What are you shocked by?She's a great singer.
1018 00:50:11 Oh, my God.
1019 00:50:13 ♪ And we were in a treeK-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
1020 00:50:17 What the hell, Sandy?
1021 00:50:20 You can take care of this, right?
1022 00:50:22 My Nautilus place is right here.I'm gonna go do a circuit.
1023 00:50:25 How about this song? Huh, guys?
1024 00:50:30 I got Integrity No-Fault Insurance.How about you?
1025 00:50:38 The song... This song--
1026 00:50:40 Ha...
1027 00:51:10 Hey, hey.
1028 00:51:22 You look like a star.
1029 00:51:24 Thank you!
1030 00:51:26 You look like Mike Tyson knocked you out.
1031 00:51:28 What happened?
1032 00:51:30 Oh, I ran into a moose on Melrose.
1033 00:51:33 Yeah, it must have escapedoff the Paramount lot.
1034 00:51:37 - This dress on you...- I just love it.
1035 00:51:41 Of course you do. It's fromyour dirty magazine page, ya weirdo.
1036 00:51:49 - Well, it works!
1037 00:51:50 What are we doing tonight to celebrate?You were on the radio!
1038 00:51:53 Hmm. Well, Bling just called,
1039 00:51:55 and Quincy Jones invited meto his party tonight.
1040 00:52:00 -Jonesy? Jonesy's having a party?-Okay. Uh-huh.
1041 00:52:03 I heard he was gonna have a...
1042 00:52:05 -I just didn't know when.-Oh.
1043 00:52:06 So what?Did you get a plus-one or...
1044 00:52:08 Yes, plus-one.
1045 00:52:11 - And I'm the one?- Yeah.
1046 00:52:13 You know, I met his grandmotheryears ago at a Hamburger Hamlet.
1047 00:52:17 She calls him Quincelius.
1048 00:52:19 So every time I see him,I say, "Hi, Quincelius."
1049 00:52:22 He gives me a look like,"How did he know?"
1050 00:52:23 Okay, cool.So should we go to the party?
1051 00:52:27 You wanna go to it?Why shouldn't... Let's pop by.
1052 00:52:29 He lives in Venice, right?
1053 00:52:31 Uh... no, the address is in Bel Air.
1054 00:52:33 Oh, so he moved? Okay, okay, he moved.
1055 00:52:50 Sandy Wexler. Wow.
1056 00:52:52 They let you in this party?
1057 00:52:54 Hey, Bronstein.
1058 00:52:55 You heard you didn't get intoHillcrest Country Club, right?
1059 00:52:57 Yeah, I heard.
1060 00:52:58 This place is incredible!
1061 00:53:01 Yeah, it's nice. It's nice.
1062 00:53:04 His one in Venice wasn't trying as hard.
1063 00:53:07 Quincy never lived in Venice.What you talking about, Willis?
1064 00:53:09 What? No, she said he did.
1065 00:53:11 -What?-She? Oh!
1066 00:53:14 I'm a huge fan. I'm Arsenio.
1067 00:53:16 I know, Arsenio. Courtney.
1068 00:53:19 Hey, Arsenio. Good to see you.I'm Sandy Wexler, her manager.
1069 00:53:24 You remember? We met at, uh...at Bernie's beach house.
1070 00:53:27 Your manager look like he fell downan elevator shaft. What's up?
1071 00:53:30 No, no, no. I, uh... Fender bender.You should see the other guy.
1072 00:53:34 -Oh, he got hurt?-Who did?
1073 00:53:36 -The other guy?-What? No.
1074 00:53:40 You know what?I heard your new song, "Mr. DJ."
1075 00:53:43 I love it. It's off the chain.You've gotta come on the show and do it.
1076 00:53:45 -I would love to.-Oh, well, listen.
1077 00:53:47 I got a call from Johnny Carsontoday, actually.
1078 00:53:50 He heard the song as well on the radio,and he booked her on the show next week.
1079 00:53:54 Carson?
1080 00:53:57 Well, congratulations.
1081 00:53:58 You ever need me, Stage 29.I'll be there forever, baby.
1082 00:54:02 Ah, thanks, Arsenio.No, I didn't mean any problem--
1083 00:54:05 You didn't tell meI was doing Carson next week!
1084 00:54:08 That was a negotiation ploy.I may have overplayed my hand there.
1085 00:54:12 Carson retired two years ago.
1086 00:54:13 Sandy Wexler?Somebody hide the pastrami.
1087 00:54:17 Hey, thank you. Good to see you, too.
1088 00:54:20 Wow. Look at all these awards he has.
1089 00:54:24 You'll have more one day.
1090 00:54:25 -Me?-Yes, you.
1091 00:54:27 You promise me this.
1092 00:54:28 -After you win your first Grammy...-Uh-huh.
1093 00:54:31 ...you go home that night,you put your ugly duckling hat on--
1094 00:54:35 I am not putting that hat on.
1095 00:54:36 ...to remind yourself where you come from.
1096 00:54:38 -You put it on. I'm not putting it on.-You don't wanna see me in that--
1097 00:54:41 Sandy, Sandy, Sandy.
1098 00:54:44 Well, who whooped your assand got away with it?
1099 00:54:46 No, this was a high-impactTae Bo class I took. It's fine.
1100 00:54:51 Okay.
1101 00:54:52 How about our girl heregetting the radio play, huh?
1102 00:54:55 Did I tell you she's a superstar or what?
1103 00:54:57 Oh, yeah, she's getting some heat.
1104 00:54:59 -Yeah, we'll see where it goes.-Thanks, Bling.
1105 00:55:01 Excuse me. Excuse me, Shortie Doo-Wop,can I get two Zimas and for Sandy...
1106 00:55:06 I'll take a diet ginger ale.
1107 00:55:08 -Amy Baskin.-Sandy, what are you doing here?
1108 00:55:11 I was invited.Thank you very much. Hi.
1109 00:55:15 Bling, I want you to meet Amy Baskin.
1110 00:55:17 To me, she is the next Grace Kelly.
1111 00:55:20 -I'm trying.-Amy? Courtney.
1112 00:55:23 Remember me from the ritual pool party?
1113 00:55:24 Oh, my God. I heard your songon the radio twice today.
1114 00:55:27 -Congratulations, Courtney.-Oh, well, we got a great manager.
1115 00:55:30 He told me to always sing from the heart.
1116 00:55:33 And I tell this girl,"Always act from the heart."
1117 00:55:36 Hey, did we get the offer onthe Mentos commercial I was on hold for?
1118 00:55:38 No, you weren't on hold for it.What I said was,
1119 00:55:42 "I called them and they put me on holdfor about 45 minutes."
1120 00:55:46 But when they... they got on the phone,they told me they passed on you.
1121 00:55:51 -Well, there you go.-No, it's good.
1122 00:55:52 They said she had a great reading.
1123 00:55:54 That it truly looked likeshe loved the Mentos.
1124 00:55:57 I'll be back with your drinks.
1125 00:55:59 - Okay.- Okay.
1126 00:56:00 Yo, check it out. It's OJ Simpson,Phil Spector and Robert Blake.
1127 00:56:03 Good guys.Call 'em the dream team.
1128 00:56:06 -I'm gonna go chop it up with 'em.-All right.
1129 00:56:08 The juice is on the loose!What's happening, killer?
1130 00:56:11 So, uh, what do you think?We've been to the party. We had fun.
1131 00:56:15 -Time to go?-I wanna see Jonesy.
1132 00:56:17 -Who's Jonesy?-Quincy?
1133 00:56:20 -Oh, Quincy? You wanna see, uh...-Yeah.
1134 00:56:22 ...Quincelius?
1135 00:56:24 All right. Let's get that done.
1136 00:56:25 -You think he's around?-Yeah, it'll be good to see him again.
1137 00:56:28 Uh, yeah, let's find him.
1138 00:56:31 Okay, now, Courtney,it's Domaines Ott Bandol Rosé.
1139 00:56:35 - My favorite.- Mmm.
1140 00:56:43 What do you think?
1141 00:56:45 Mmm! This is so good, Mr. Jones.
1142 00:56:48 What do you think, Sandy?You like it?
1143 00:56:51 What's the matter, man?
1144 00:56:52 Nothing. No, I think it's good.
1145 00:56:55 It's... it's... It's just grapey.
1146 00:56:58 -What do you mean "grapey"?-Oh, I... I didn't say it was a bad thing.
1147 00:57:03 Okay. I'm gonna tryto respect your opinion, brother.
1148 00:57:06 Let me try another one.I've got a '61 Château Pétrus downstairs.
1149 00:57:10 Okay.
1150 00:57:11 I paid eight grand for itat the Côte de Nuits.
1151 00:57:14 -Yeah, okay.-That's too much. No.
1152 00:57:16 Pretty sure this'll get your attention.
1153 00:57:18 Thank you, Quincelius.
1154 00:57:20 Who the hell is Quincelius?
1155 00:57:22 Nobody. Come on. What are we doing here?
1156 00:57:27 Thank you.
1157 00:57:29 It was grapey. It was a little grapey.
1158 00:57:31 -I think you offended him.-No, I didn't.
1159 00:57:35 I thought it was cool.
1160 00:57:38 When he comes back,I dare you to say you hate that one, too.
1161 00:57:42 - What?
1162 00:57:43 The man spent $8,000 on the wine.He'll kill me.
1163 00:57:46 Oh, we'll laugh our asses off. Come on.
1164 00:57:49 -Courtney, what do you got me doing here?-I was saving this for a special occasion.
1165 00:57:54 I think this is special enough.
1166 00:57:58 You'll have to let me knowwhat you think, baby.
1167 00:58:00 Yeah. Thank you.
1168 00:58:03 Very much.
1169 00:58:06 What do you think, honey?
1170 00:58:08 Mr. Jones, this is exquisite.
1171 00:58:11 And, Sanford, you likey?
1172 00:58:18 -Honestly?-What else, man?
1173 00:58:22 -It's a little nutty.-Nutty?
1174 00:58:26 For my taste.
1175 00:58:32 Maybe if you put an ice cube in it...
1176 00:58:35 - Oh, my goodness.- Get out of my house!
1177 00:58:39 -Now!-Hey, hey, I didn't mean to--
1178 00:58:43 - Now! Out! Out!- I'm gonna leave.
1179 00:58:45 -No, I just got to get my jacket.-Out! Get... get out of here.
1180 00:58:48 - Listen.- Out!
1181 00:58:49 Man, one of these is mine.Is this navy or black?
1182 00:58:53 I'm having a hard time seeing.My glasses are blurry from the wine toss.
1183 00:58:57 Get out!
1184 00:58:58 You know what? This is probably it.I... I'm gonna go.
1185 00:59:01 -Leave!-Courtney! Okay.
1186 00:59:03 Hey. Thank you, Q-bert.It was a great night.
1187 00:59:07 - Did you see the way that was--- You made me do that! You!
1188 00:59:10 -How are we getting out?-Are you happy?
1189 00:59:11 I don't know where...Go. Just go. Is he coming?
1190 00:59:13 Courtney's first single was huge.I remember the album was even bigger.
1191 00:59:17 I heard every songon every station of every radio.
1192 00:59:25 Yay, Courtney!
1193 00:59:29 Courtney blew upto Whitney Houston-type status.
1194 00:59:32 Oh, really?
1195 00:59:33 -So it was crazy.-Mariah Carey, you know...
1196 00:59:39 You're nobody, and then you're somebody,and everyone's clamoring after you.
1197 00:59:43 And it's scary. It can be scary.
1198 00:59:59 - Sandy...- Courtney, what's wrong?
1199 01:00:01 I think someone's outside my house.
1200 01:00:03 I'm scared it's one of those freaksthat's been calling me or something.
1201 01:00:06 What? Who's calling you?
1202 01:00:08 I don't know.
1203 01:00:09 I've been dealing with thisever since I moved into this place.
1204 01:00:12 -Are your doors locked?-Yeah.
1205 01:00:14 You stay inside. I'll be right there.
1206 01:00:27 You're in trouble now, tough guy!
1207 01:00:30 Look what I've been carryingaround in my backseat...
1208 01:00:33 ever since I was attackedon Ventura Place.
1209 01:00:37 Huh? You like this?
1210 01:00:41 You wanna... You wanna feel it?
1211 01:00:44 Come out! Where are you?
1212 01:00:47 - Courtney, stay in the house!
1213 01:00:53 What's that?
1214 01:00:56 What? You think you can hide?
1215 01:01:00 Are you scared? Huh?
1216 01:01:04 'Cause I'm scared, too.
1217 01:01:06 I'm scared I'm gonna shatterevery bone in your face!
1218 01:01:17 You're gone?
1219 01:01:20 That's it. Truce.
1220 01:01:24 No more.
1221 01:01:30 Ow!
1222 01:01:36 What you were so afraid ofwas nothing but a raccoon.
1223 01:01:41 No way.
1224 01:01:42 I'm telling you, you'll never have toworry about him again, though.
1225 01:01:46 You didn't kill him, did you?
1226 01:01:49 No. No. Uh, I...
1227 01:01:51 I seen him go out into the forest againto see his family, so...
1228 01:01:56 All right? But I screamed at him.
1229 01:01:57 I let him know, "Don't come back here.You stay with the...
1230 01:02:02 On your side of the fence."
1231 01:02:04 Okay.
1232 01:02:06 Come on in.Let me wash those clothes.
1233 01:02:08 When I used to represent Hoochfrom Turner & Hooch,
1234 01:02:12 I got a similar callabout a late-night trespasser.
1235 01:02:16 Turned out it was Benji's trainer.
1236 01:02:19 Uh, he was jealous that Hoochwas now the hottest dog in the business.
1237 01:02:24 -You're making that up.-No, no, no, I think that's true.
1238 01:02:27 You're insane, Sandy.Take off those pants.
1239 01:02:31 What? What, right here?
1240 01:02:34 I won't look.
1241 01:02:35 Well, you'll be missing out, then.
1242 01:02:37 Oh, really?
1243 01:02:39 No. Maybe you should turn around.
1244 01:02:42 Turning around.
1245 01:02:44 I'm glad you took this place, by the way.
1246 01:02:47 The real estate lady told me
1247 01:02:49 that David Crosby diedthree times in this house.
1248 01:02:53 I'm gonna keep the beeper,if that's all right.
1249 01:02:55 Kevin Connors did a show on Brea tonight,
1250 01:02:58 co-headlining with AJ Jamal.I wanna make sure that went well.
1251 01:03:03 So, pants are coming down.
1252 01:03:07 Here you go.
1253 01:03:10 All right. Come on.Let's get these washed.
1254 01:03:13 Sure. Hey, thanks for doing that.
1255 01:03:19 You called Bling, too?
1256 01:03:21 Oh, I was here anyway, Sandy.
1257 01:03:23 With my pants on.
1258 01:03:30 The important thingis that Courtney feels safe.
1259 01:03:33 - That's all I'm worried about.- Hmm.
1260 01:03:35 An unlisted phone number.
1261 01:03:36 That's the way to gofor an artist of your stature.
1262 01:03:38 I can get that done for youtomorrow morning.
1263 01:03:40 Oh, no, it's all... It's all good, Sandy.I handled it already.
1264 01:03:44 Oh, you did? Good. Good. Good for you.
1265 01:03:50 Sandy, can you pass me the gravy?
1266 01:03:52 Can I pass you the gravy?Absolutely. I can pass you the gravy.
1267 01:03:55 -Here. You want me to put it on for you?-I got it.
1268 01:03:57 -You got it?-Yeah.
1269 01:03:58 I was thinking we should get backin the studio, Courtney.
1270 01:04:01 Maybe noodle around with some new tunes.
1271 01:04:04 With all due respect, Sandy,I understand that,
1272 01:04:06 but, uh, her existing record'sgonna be on the charts for months.
1273 01:04:10 You don't want her competingagainst herself now, do you?
1274 01:04:12 Who else do you want her competing with?I mean it's a win-win. To me.
1275 01:04:19 I know what you mean, Sandy.
1276 01:04:20 I have lots of ideas,but I can't tomorrow.
1277 01:04:23 We've got publicist meetings.
1278 01:04:26 -Publicists? What... what publicists?-Oh, yeah, just the top ones.
1279 01:04:29 You know what?I'll send you the list, actually.
1280 01:04:31 You know what?Better yet, I'll e-mail you the list.
1281 01:04:33 -What is that?-Oh, you're not familiar with e-mail?
1282 01:04:36 E-mail? Of course I heard of that.Which one are you talking about?
1283 01:04:40 You got your computer, right?And you plug that into your phone line...
1284 01:04:44 ...and you could send a document toanother computer clear across the country
1285 01:04:50 in a matter of minutes.
1286 01:04:52 Who licks the envelope? R2-D2?I'm lost right now.
1287 01:04:56 Now I think we're makinga wrong move here.
1288 01:04:59 I have a publicity campaign designedstrictly for this woman right here.
1289 01:05:03 You have a publicity campaign? Well,I mean, we're... The family's all here.
1290 01:05:06 We would love to hear about it.What is it?
1291 01:05:08 Well, I usually like my clientsto start slow.
1292 01:05:10 Keep it simple. Don't overexpose.
1293 01:05:14 - Really, Sandy?- Yes.
1294 01:05:16 Just gonna spit your chicken on my face?That's for you.
1295 01:05:19 Okay. Maybe we'll hold offon the publicist thing.
1296 01:05:22 Thank you.
1297 01:05:23 But then we'll bring in one soon.
1298 01:05:25 -Okay, boys?-We'll talk about that.
1299 01:05:27 Absolutely. I think that's smart.
1300 01:05:29 All right. I'm gonna go checkon these jeans.
1301 01:05:31 -Okay?-Yes, my queen.
1302 01:05:33 Your queen?
1303 01:05:36 Sandy, you are the reasonshe needs a publicist.
1304 01:05:41 I'm the reason?
1305 01:05:42 You know how many calls I got afterQuincy Jones threw you out of his party?
1306 01:05:45 -Oh... She dared me to do it.-What are you, 14, Sandy?
1307 01:05:49 No, I'm not 14. I'm not 14 at all.
1308 01:05:51 Your job is to protect her.
1309 01:05:53 I protect her 24/7!
1310 01:05:55 And how is that?By screwing up her shot on Arsenio?
1311 01:05:58 We got the show, didn't we?
1312 01:05:59 Because I fixed it!
1313 01:06:01 You fixed it. You did everything.You invented music.
1314 01:06:04 What did you do, Sandy?
1315 01:06:05 Did you file the paperwork for the Grammynomination before the deadline?
1316 01:06:08 Did you squash the story in the Enquirer
1317 01:06:10 about her corrections officer fatherfalling asleep during a prison riot?
1318 01:06:13 Did you send envelopes of cashto the radio stations
1319 01:06:16 so they could play her record?
1320 01:06:18 No, you didn't do that.
1321 01:06:19 You know how I knowyou didn't do it, Sandy?
1322 01:06:21 Because I did it. I did all those things.
1323 01:06:23 And what did you do? Hmm?
1324 01:06:26 You made sure Gary,the daredevil trapeze artist,
1325 01:06:30 was her opening actat the Universal Amphitheatre.
1326 01:06:33 Gary is family.
1327 01:06:35 This dude shattered his pelvison an amplifier!
1328 01:06:37 I was there. I saw.
1329 01:06:39 There was bloodall over the first three rows!
1330 01:06:41 -People were vomiting!-Yeah, all right.
1331 01:06:43 That doesn't really segue well
1332 01:06:44 into soulful singer-songwriter now,does it, Sandy?
1333 01:06:47 She got 'em back.She's too good to lose a crowd.
1334 01:06:49 She's too good for you.
1335 01:06:52 Sandy, she could haveany manager she wants.
1336 01:06:54 She wants me!
1337 01:06:55 And that is what's holding her back.
1338 01:06:59 Look, Sandy, you did your job.
1339 01:07:01 You brought her up to the big leagues.
1340 01:07:04 I'm telling you. Come on!
1341 01:07:07 But now you're just...You're out of your depth.
1342 01:07:10 Don't let your ego get in the way.
1343 01:07:13 Can you look me in the eye and tell meyou're doing what's best for her?
1344 01:07:22 - Okay.- Ah!
1345 01:07:23 Pants-Off Dance-Offis officially canceled.
1346 01:07:26 -Put these bad boys on.-Okay.
1347 01:07:27 You got the stain out?Very nice. Look at you. Look at you.
1348 01:07:31 Well, I'm beat to shit.I'm gonna call it.
1349 01:07:35 You're gonna call it?All right. I'll walk you out, then.
1350 01:07:39 Thank you for everything.Appreciate it all.
1351 01:07:52 Oh. Oh, yeah. Good night.
1352 01:08:06 Thanks for scaring the stalker raccoon.
1353 01:08:08 You don't have to thank me, Courtney.That's my pleasure.
1354 01:08:11 Look, Sandy...
1355 01:08:14 This rock star thing is new to me.
1356 01:08:17 I'm doing the best I canto make everybody happy, you know.
1357 01:08:19 You make the world happy, Courtney.That's all you need to worry about.
1358 01:08:24 Thank you, Sandy.
1359 01:08:26 That's why it's difficultfor me to tell you this.
1360 01:08:29 But where you are right nowin your career,
1361 01:08:33 and what it requires of my time, it's...
1362 01:08:38 I'm being kind of forced hereto make sacrifices that,
1363 01:08:43 with good conscience,I don't really wanna make.
1364 01:08:47 Like what?
1365 01:08:48 Like my stable of talent.
1366 01:08:52 I can't give them what I believeeach and every one of them deserves
1367 01:08:57 if I'm worried about all the complexitiesof your day-to-day.
1368 01:09:02 It's a lot, kid. I'm sorry.
1369 01:09:05 So what? You don't wantto work together anymore?
1370 01:09:08 Well, it's just the current situationisn't fair to you, either.
1371 01:09:12 I can't commit to you 100%if I got other things on my mind,
1372 01:09:17 which unfortunately I do.The stable.
1373 01:09:20 Sandy, let's not do this right now.
1374 01:09:24 Let's take a minute and think it over.
1375 01:09:26 I don't need a minute.
1376 01:09:28 I promised your dadI'd always do what's best for you.
1377 01:09:32 This is best.
1378 01:09:38 So that's it?
1379 01:09:41 You ever need me, just beep.
1380 01:09:46 Sandy.
1381 01:09:50 Beep.
1382 01:09:53 You're gonna be all right, Courtney.
1383 01:09:56 You're gonna be a legend.
1384 01:10:00 Brightest star out there.
1385 01:10:26 Legend has it he stayed in that carand cried for... six hours?
1386 01:10:35 Someone called child services 'causethey thought a little girl was in trouble.
1387 01:10:39 -Yeah.-In a car.
1388 01:10:44 I mean, not that anybody has a good cry,
1389 01:10:46 but his cry soundedlike some kind of, like,
1390 01:10:48 lonesome moose.
1391 01:10:56 Whatever the amount of time wasthat he cried,
1392 01:10:59 he broke his own rules.He just got too close.
1393 01:11:01 It was Alfred all over again.
1394 01:11:04 That was a tough time...
1395 01:11:07 'cause Sandy not only losthis most talented client ever,
1396 01:11:13 but he also lost this personhe had feelings for.
1397 01:11:18 It must've beenespecially painful for Sandy,
1398 01:11:19 because Courtney Clarke was everywhere.
1399 01:11:25 Whoo!
1400 01:11:33 Gary Rodgers, ladies and gentlemen.
1401 01:11:36 ♪ There's somethingIn the way that you smile ♪
1402 01:11:41 ♪ There's somethingIn the way that you talk to me ♪
1403 01:11:47 ♪ The way that you look at meBoy, I can't see anything... ♪
1404 01:11:52 Yo, man, your girl blew up.She the shit now.
1405 01:11:54 -Congratulations, Sandy.-Yeah.
1406 01:11:56 Yeah, she's doing great. Uh...
1407 01:11:58 We're not working togetheranymore, though.
1408 01:12:02 Oh. Now that makes sense.
1409 01:12:04 Later, dawg.
1410 01:12:06 Yeah. That makes sense.
1411 01:12:09 It makes sense if I kill you, Arsenio.
1412 01:12:12 That would make sense.
1413 01:12:14 ♪ I know it is destiny ♪
1414 01:12:21 ♪ Hot summer nights, lovers ♪
1415 01:12:24 Get out of town with that.
1416 01:12:26 ♪ Samba dancing withFire in their eyes burning ♪
1417 01:12:29 Come on.
1418 01:12:30 ♪ Hearts on full with desire ♪
1419 01:12:34 ♪ Wanting you, wanting me ♪
1420 01:12:37 ♪ Gonna make you wanna fall in loveLove, love, love ♪
1421 01:12:43 ♪ Yeah, I think I'm gonna fall in love ♪
1422 01:12:47 Oh, jeez, you're going for this?Give me a break here.
1423 01:12:50 ♪ Samba dancing withFire in their eyes burning ♪
1424 01:12:54 ♪ Hearts on full with desire... ♪
1425 01:12:58 All right. That's enough.
1426 01:13:00 Come on, already.
1427 01:13:45 What have we got here?
1428 01:13:49 Sandy!
1429 01:13:52 I was scared you wouldn't come.
1430 01:13:55 Hey. Where's Peter? Is he doing PT?
1431 01:13:59 Sandy, why don't youtake off your shoes?
1432 01:14:02 Take off my... Oh, for your rug?
1433 01:14:05 You know, my shoes are actually cleaner
1434 01:14:07 - than my socks, but...
1435 01:14:09 And here we are.
1436 01:14:12 -Hey, hey.-And here's your throne.
1437 01:14:14 Why don't you sit down, Sandy?
1438 01:14:17 -Hey.-What would you like to drink?
1439 01:14:19 You know, I got a bit of a sour stomach.
1440 01:14:21 If you got Dr. Brown's black cherry diet,that would be perfect.
1441 01:14:27 Or a big glass of whiskey.Either way is...
1442 01:14:40 Oh, look.
1443 01:14:41 Ah.
1444 01:14:47 Did you ever seethat naughty little movie, 9½ Weeks?
1445 01:14:51 No, I didn't.
1446 01:14:53 I saw Problem Child, though.That kid was hysterical.
1447 01:14:58 Well, not as funny as that.Look at you.
1448 01:15:03 -Peter's been sick for a long time.-Yeah.
1449 01:15:07 And a woman yearns for a man's touch.
1450 01:15:10 Hey, no, that's natural.
1451 01:15:12 Are you a man, Sandy?
1452 01:15:15 I don't know. I...
1453 01:15:16 I was bar mitzvahed,but that was a long time ago.
1454 01:15:22 -You know what I love about you?-Yeah?
1455 01:15:24 - Your voice.
1456 01:15:26 Come on. I've got a surprise.
1457 01:15:30 -Come along.-Hey, what's this?
1458 01:15:31 - Just sit here. Now, sit.- Oh! Oh, yeah.
1459 01:15:33 Aye, aye, aye! Yeah!
1460 01:15:36 Touch me, Sandy. Touch me.
1461 01:15:38 Well, I... I was just walkingon the carpet in my socks.
1462 01:15:41 -I don't wanna zap you.-Oh. You can zap me. Just zap me.
1463 01:15:50 Cindy!
1464 01:16:01 Don't worry about Peter.He only wants my happiness.
1465 01:16:06 Yeah.
1466 01:16:13 I can't do it. I can't.
1467 01:16:16 -I'd feel better if we---Don't, Sandy, please.
1468 01:16:18 -Don't leave. Stay here.-Oh...
1469 01:16:21 We... we could put a blanketover his head.
1470 01:16:24 - That's... that's actually a thought.
1471 01:16:28 No. He says no. He said... I'm sorry.
1472 01:16:30 I consider Peter a friend,
1473 01:16:34 whether he's alive or deador in a vegetative state.
1474 01:16:38 Thanks for the offer, okay?
1475 01:16:41 I got the shock! I knew I... The socks.
1476 01:16:52 Pervert.
1477 01:16:58 - Cindy!- Cindy!
1478 01:16:59 Madonna!
1479 01:17:01 Melissa!
1480 01:17:03 - Wrapping up the CDs.
1481 01:17:05 - Doing too good a job. I feel that...
1482 01:17:09 Just... a little bit overzealouswith the wrapping is my feeling.
1483 01:17:13 - What is the security on this thing?
1484 01:17:16 It's a $12 item.
1485 01:17:17 They got it wrapped uplike the Hope Diamond.
1486 01:17:20 It's impossiblethat they have cellophane...
1487 01:17:22 What are you doing? You look gloomy.Reiser's killing out there. Come on.
1488 01:17:27 You're like a monkey with a coconut.You're just looking at it...
1489 01:17:29 He's killing the jokes that I wrote.It should be me up there killing it.
1490 01:17:32 Next year, it will be.CBS sees your jokes work now.
1491 01:17:36 Next year, you'll be telling those jokes,'cause you wrote 'em.
1492 01:17:42 You want me to do the jokeshe's telling right now
1493 01:17:46 on next year's Grammys?
1494 01:17:47 But you do 'em in your voice.
1495 01:17:49 But the punch lines are the same.People have heard them already.
1496 01:17:51 You do new punch lines.
1497 01:17:53 So then they're new...They're new jokes.
1498 01:17:55 No, but you're doing 'em in your voice.
1499 01:17:57 I wanna strangle you.
1500 01:17:59 -Don't say "your voice" again.-What are you...
1501 01:18:00 I'm gonna kill youif you say "in my voice."
1502 01:18:02 -Would you stop? I can't ever---Sandy?
1503 01:18:07 Courtney.
1504 01:18:09 Look at you!
1505 01:18:11 -Hey! Hey.-Hey! Oh.
1506 01:18:16 You, uh, remember my, uh,client Paul Reiser?
1507 01:18:21 -Kevin Connors.-Kevin!
1508 01:18:24 They should have had you host this show.
1509 01:18:26 Paul Reiser is usually funny,but his jokes tonight are just corny.
1510 01:18:32 -You still doing Atkins? I see.-Atkins.
1511 01:18:34 -You look great!-Thank you. Well, my God.
1512 01:18:36 -I look good? Look at you.-You look so good!
1513 01:18:38 I have been following you.You are doing so well.
1514 01:18:40 The Grammy tonight. Did I tell youwhen that was gonna happen, huh?
1515 01:18:44 You deserve it all. You really do.
1516 01:18:46 You deserve it, too.I wouldn't be here without you.
1517 01:18:49 Are you kidding me?You cannot stop a shooting star.
1518 01:18:52 -Aw.-Our scientists have proven this.
1519 01:18:55 You are unbelievable, Sandy.
1520 01:18:57 How's Bling? Where is he?
1521 01:18:59 Yeah, he's my label guy.He's not my guy-guy anymore.
1522 01:19:02 -Well, I'm so sorry. That's---Don't be.
1523 01:19:06 Things happen for a reason.
1524 01:19:07 I scored us each a goodie bag, my sweet.
1525 01:19:09 -Hi, cuteness.-Can I keep your PlayStation?
1526 01:19:11 Yes.
1527 01:19:13 Guys, this is my new boyfriend, Ra...Say it for me, babe.
1528 01:19:18 Ramiro Alejandro.
1529 01:19:20 - Sandy Wexler.- Nice to meet you, Ramir...
1530 01:19:24 -Ramiro Alejandro.-I know.
1531 01:19:26 Oh, is this the old Make-A-Wish guyyou were telling me about?
1532 01:19:29 No. No, we used to work together.
1533 01:19:32 Hey, you wanna come to Clive Davis'after-party? You could ride with us.
1534 01:19:35 I, uh, would love to.
1535 01:19:37 - I, uh, have to go somewhere.- Aw.
1536 01:19:39 A client of mine... Amy Baskin.You... you remember Amy.
1537 01:19:42 Yeah!
1538 01:19:43 Yes, well, she got the lead inSound of Music at the Pasadena Playhouse.
1539 01:19:47 - She'll be Partygoer Number One.- Yeah, that's the lead.
1540 01:19:51 It is. She's... she's the lead partygoer.
1541 01:19:54 Let's get together real soon, Sandy.Promise me.
1542 01:19:57 -I promise. You promise me this.-Of course. What?
1543 01:20:00 -After Clive's party...-Mmm-hmm.
1544 01:20:02 -...you put on the ugly duckling hat...-Oh, gosh.
1545 01:20:04 ...and you remind yourselfwhere you came from.
1546 01:20:06 Not on this hair.
1547 01:20:08 - Like we... Nope, not on your hair.- Courtney...
1548 01:20:10 -You promise?-...we have to go.
1549 01:20:11 -I promise. Okay.-I gotta see you. Okay.
1550 01:20:13 Good to see you, babe.
1551 01:20:15 Nice meeting you, Sammy!Hope they find a cure for you, buddy.
1552 01:20:18 Buddy, move. Move!
1553 01:20:20 -Get out the way!-Which way are you moving?
1554 01:20:22 -Okay, go!-Sandy, move! Sandy!
1555 01:20:23 That was another tough goodbye for Sandy.
1556 01:20:25 He... he didn't even know if hewould ever see or talk to Courtney again.
1557 01:20:29 Of course he kept himself busy.
1558 01:20:30 He actually signed someone
1559 01:20:32 who was involved in the biggest formof entertainment in the '90s.
1560 01:20:35 Wrestling. Professional wrestling.
1561 01:20:39 Yeah!
1562 01:20:51 Yeah!
1563 01:21:02 Go to sleep, baby!It's night-night time!
1564 01:21:18 - You're the man, Bedtime.- Isn't he?
1565 01:21:19 Oh, I know you're gonnatake the title on Sunday.
1566 01:21:21 - I'm gonna make 'em go night-night.
1567 01:21:25 -Thank you.-I'm gonna lose.
1568 01:21:28 You don't know that. Hang on, please.
1569 01:21:30 Yeah, I do know that. I got the script.
1570 01:21:33 Tsunami sits on my face until I tap out.I'm never gonna be the champ.
1571 01:21:37 Okay, look.
1572 01:21:38 The good thing is, you're gonna havea grown man sit on your face
1573 01:21:42 and the entire world is gonna be watching.That's a positive.
1574 01:21:46 -That's not a positive.-It's a positive because it's...
1575 01:21:48 -The fame factor.-What?
1576 01:21:49 Hey, Bedtime. Will you rock me like a babywhile my brother Dicky gets a picture?
1577 01:21:52 -What are you, six?-Yeah, of course he will.
1578 01:21:54 -Of course he will do it.-Do you see the size of this guy?
1579 01:21:57 Just get on it.
1580 01:21:58 Oh. Hang on, guys.My cellular device is ringing.
1581 01:22:02 And I hit this, and I pull this.
1582 01:22:06 Wexler Artists.
1583 01:22:07 Mr. Wexler, it is Chippy from Dan Tana's.
1584 01:22:09 Chippy! Hey! How's it going?How was your vacation to Cincinnati?
1585 01:22:14 It was, uh, not a vacation.My mother died.
1586 01:22:17 I went to Cincinnati for the funeral.
1587 01:22:19 Oh, yeah. That's right. How's your mother?
1588 01:22:22 What are you calling for?
1589 01:22:24 We have a delicate situation with a clientof yours who has had too much to drink.
1590 01:22:27 And unfortunately,there are very many paparazzi out front.
1591 01:22:31 Oh, boy. Was it Gary or Kevin?
1592 01:22:39 Yeah, I chased himfor six or seven blocks.
1593 01:22:41 Just come on. Get a life, guys. Jeez.
1594 01:22:51 -Bring me to the package.-This way.
1595 01:23:02 Courtney?
1596 01:23:05 What the... What's going on, kiddo?
1597 01:23:08 Sandy! They found you!
1598 01:23:11 Yeah, they found me.
1599 01:23:12 You just stay put, okay?You stay right there.
1600 01:23:20 Aw, Sandy to the rescue.
1601 01:23:24 No one can find out about this.You understand me, Chippy? Not even you.
1602 01:23:28 Okay, Sandy.
1603 01:23:31 - Okay.- Sandy!
1604 01:23:34 What? She'll suffocate?Is that what you're saying?
1605 01:23:37 Courtney! Courtney! Courtney!
1606 01:23:40 Go jump in a lake, fellas!
1607 01:23:47 Ah! No, no, no, no! Oh, come on!Oh, please, please, please.
1608 01:23:53 Keep your voices down. Let her sleep.
1609 01:23:58 That's right. Just sleep. Sleep, sleep.
1610 01:24:02 Let me get this up for you.
1611 01:24:05 And you... you're breathing.
1612 01:24:08 Are you breathing?
1613 01:24:10 Yeah, there it is. Okay.
1614 01:24:12 You'll be all right.
1615 01:24:15 I'm telling you, he's the bestventriloquist in the business. He...
1616 01:24:19 You don't see him talking?
1617 01:24:21 No, you see his lips move slightly,but that's not the important thing.
1618 01:24:26 The important thingis what the guy is saying.
1619 01:24:29 No one looks at the lipsif they're laughing, then...
1620 01:24:32 No, kids love him.
1621 01:24:33 That's why I'm bringing it upto you. The kids will love this guy.
1622 01:24:37 He's got curly hair,and... and he's got the mustache.
1623 01:24:41 I'm sorry.
1624 01:24:42 -Linda, I'm... I'm just asking if you...-Do you want some breakfast?
1625 01:24:45 -Sandy...-If you could just
1626 01:24:47 put a good word in for me. That's it.
1627 01:24:49 Maybe put his headshot on his desk.
1628 01:24:51 -I really wish I could, Sandy.-Hey, just meat, right?
1629 01:24:54 Oh, yeah. Hold on. Just meat.
1630 01:24:57 Just meet with him.
1631 01:24:59 That's all I'm asking you to do.Just meet with him.
1632 01:25:01 All right, Sandy.
1633 01:25:03 Thank you, Linda! Thank you!
1634 01:25:06 Happy birthday on Wednesday.
1635 01:25:08 -How did you know that?-Yeah, 'cause I know.
1636 01:25:10 'Cause I know. I know everything.
1637 01:25:14 How good is this? Phenomenal.
1638 01:25:17 No one knowshow to cook health food like...
1639 01:25:19 You're fantastic. You can do it all.
1640 01:25:22 I owe you for last night.I'm embarrassed.
1641 01:25:26 Hey, everybody gets zonkedonce in a while.
1642 01:25:29 The question is, why are we doing it?
1643 01:25:33 I don't know. I...
1644 01:25:35 I just broke up with Billy.
1645 01:25:36 Billy? Who's Billy?What happened to the Marc Anthony fella?
1646 01:25:40 Marc Anthony? Come on, Sandy.
1647 01:25:42 Pick up a People magazineevery once in a while.
1648 01:25:44 That was three boyfriends ago.
1649 01:25:46 Oh, hey, I gotta start writingsome of these names down.
1650 01:25:50 I'm getting lost.I'm joking around with you.
1651 01:25:53 What you're doing's perfectly natural.
1652 01:25:56 Anyone in your positionwould be doing the same.
1653 01:25:58 Look, Liza did it.
1654 01:26:00 Elizabeth Taylor did it.Sherwood Schwartz did it.
1655 01:26:03 Just my life.
1656 01:26:07 It feels out of control.
1657 01:26:09 I can't connect with anybody.I don't... I just don't feel safe.
1658 01:26:13 I can't even go ten feet
1659 01:26:15 without the paparazzi following me,taking pictures of me, spying on me.
1660 01:26:20 I don't even want toleave my house anymore.
1661 01:26:22 What? You gotta leave your house.
1662 01:26:24 Even Michael Jacksonleaves his house once in a while.
1663 01:26:27 How?
1664 01:26:28 He just don't look like Michael Jackson.
1665 01:26:35 Excuse me, sir.You know what time it is?
1666 01:26:40 Can you do me a favor?
1667 01:26:42 Courtney Clarke was just in there.Uh, could you find out where she went?
1668 01:26:45 This is...Somebody just got their life back!
1669 01:26:48 --Why do you own this stuff?
1670 01:26:51 Why? Those are my workout clothes.
1671 01:26:53 You work out?
1672 01:26:55 Suzanne Somers personally gave meone of the very first ThighMasters.
1673 01:26:59 I use it as much as I can.
1674 01:27:01 This conversation is over.
1675 01:27:02 What? It's for firm thighs and buttocks.
1676 01:27:05 -Sandy, please stop talking.-All right.
1677 01:27:08 What we gonna do today?
1678 01:27:09 What we gonna do today?Anything you want, kiddo.
1679 01:27:12 -Okay, lead the way, ThighMaster.-Hey! Now, wait a minute.
1680 01:27:15 -By the way, the dogs are good for cardio.-Oh.
1681 01:27:19 What does that mean?
1682 01:27:20 - You'll see.
1683 01:27:22 - Go! Run! Run! Run!- Okay! Okay!
1684 01:27:26 Well, here comes the test.
1685 01:27:29 Look at that. Look at that. Huh?
1686 01:27:32 --Wow.
1687 01:27:35 Why am I golfing?
1688 01:27:37 Golfing is very relaxing.
1689 01:27:39 You don't have to thinkabout nothing but smacking that ball.
1690 01:27:42 Have you ever played before?
1691 01:27:44 -No.-No? It's quite easy.
1692 01:27:47 I'll take out the big stick'cause it's fun to hit 'em far.
1693 01:27:50 It's always good to warm up a little bit.Ow! Okay.
1694 01:27:54 I got actually a little problemin the back.
1695 01:27:57 -You okay?-Yeah. Just give me one sec.
1696 01:27:59 God damn it.
1697 01:28:00 -Should I call for help?-No, I'll be all right.
1698 01:28:02 Just give me one sec.I just gotta stretch.
1699 01:28:06 All right. Just give me one more sec.I do need help.
1700 01:28:16 You need to go to the bathroom?
1701 01:28:18 No, I'm just... I'm getting it lined up.
1702 01:28:22 Let's just say goodbyeto all our troubles, okay?
1703 01:28:25 Okay.
1704 01:28:26 If you got any problems,put 'em into the ball and send them away.
1705 01:28:32 Is it supposed to curveoff to the right like that?
1706 01:28:35 Yeah, I was playing a dogleg right.
1707 01:28:37 -A dogleg?-Right.
1708 01:28:39 You gotta bend it around the trees,and that's what I was going for.
1709 01:28:42 -Can I try it?-You wanna try? Okay.
1710 01:28:44 I was gonna show youa little more, but okay.
1711 01:28:46 -Okay.-So let me...
1712 01:28:48 You know, maybe you shouldtee it up for yourself.
1713 01:28:50 Tee it up. Here.
1714 01:28:51 -You tee it up, and you say goodbye.-Right here.
1715 01:28:53 Okay.
1716 01:28:55 And just have a good timeand don't worry about where it goes.
1717 01:28:57 -Let's see.-Okay.
1718 01:29:03 Am I being hustled right now?What was that?
1719 01:29:06 I swear I didn't play every day growing upwith my Uncle Davey who's a golf pro.
1720 01:29:10 - Oh, well...
1721 01:29:12 Does this guy need a manager because...
1722 01:29:14 -Come over here.-What are we doing?
1723 01:29:16 We gotta work on that slice leg.
1724 01:29:18 -Oh, my God.-Here you go. Here you go.
1725 01:29:19 -This is your day. I don't want to...-No. No, no, no. You got it?
1726 01:29:21 - You're okay with it?- Oh, it's my day now. Come on.
1727 01:29:24 -In the hips.-In the hips.
1728 01:29:25 Here we go.
1729 01:29:26 Oh! All right! Hold on now.
1730 01:29:30 Huh? I beg your pardon?
1731 01:29:32 Tell me. Tell me.
1732 01:29:33 A company called Pixar...
1733 01:29:34 - Pixar?- ...wants me to do a voice
1734 01:29:36 in some animated movieabout a bunch of toys.
1735 01:29:38 Cartoons are dead.
1736 01:29:39 - Tell 'em pass.
1737 01:29:41 -Okay. Sandy knows best.-I mean, come on. I do know best.
1738 01:29:44 The lady at Chili's said they'll keep itopen till 10:30 for us, so that's good.
1739 01:29:48 How you feeling anyway?
1740 01:29:49 As good as anybody can feel
1741 01:29:51 knowing they're about to gettheir face sat on by that guy.
1742 01:29:54 Damn, that's a big ass!
1743 01:29:55 -That's right---Get off me!
1744 01:29:57 Listen. Will you just trust me?This is a good night for you.
1745 01:30:00 Trust you? It's humiliating.
1746 01:30:01 My kids are out there, man!My wife might not ever kiss me again!
1747 01:30:04 Randy Savage had to get whooped 24 times
1748 01:30:07 before he finally pinned Ted DiBiaseto win the belt, man!
1749 01:30:10 How does your platinum-selling assknow about wrestling history?
1750 01:30:13 I'm from Alaska.It was either watch wrestling or fish.
1751 01:30:16 Is that adorable?
1752 01:30:18 Will you just take it all inand promise me you'll have fun?
1753 01:30:21 This is a big night for you.Look at me.
1754 01:30:23 Man, how does your goofy asshave me feeling good right now?
1755 01:30:26 That's impossible!
1756 01:30:27 Because you know I love yaand I'm your family.
1757 01:30:30 All right, good luck.
1758 01:30:32 Get out there!
1759 01:30:38 Yeah! Come on!
1760 01:30:48 - Fight!
1761 01:30:54 Okay.
1762 01:31:11 No!
1763 01:31:19 Break, break, break, break!
1764 01:31:21 Hey, what are you doing?Stick to the script.
1765 01:31:24 I'm sorry, Tsunami.You're gonna have to earn this one.
1766 01:31:26 What? Hey...
1767 01:31:32 This is bullshit.I'm supposed to win.
1768 01:31:34 This happening?Huh, this is happening?
1769 01:31:37 Well, bring it on!
1770 01:31:44 Okay, get back there, champ!
1771 01:31:49 There it is. Now it's getting real.
1772 01:31:55 Thank you very much!
1773 01:32:01 What is this?
1774 01:32:10 No, you're not! What's going on here?
1775 01:32:21 Say it!
1776 01:32:22 It's time to go night-night!
1777 01:32:45 - I got the belt! I'm the champ!- You the man! You the man!
1778 01:32:48 -Sandy! How?-What do you... Huh?
1779 01:32:51 The referee is a client, andWexler Artists look out for each other.
1780 01:32:56 Oh, man!Those guys are gonna fire his ass!
1781 01:32:59 Of course they are,
1782 01:33:00 but I already got him a job as a refereefor the Harlem Globetrotters.
1783 01:33:04 -I know. I understand.-You're never going to work again!
1784 01:33:07 What do you say, champ? Proud of ya.
1785 01:33:10 Oh! I'm so happy, Sandy!
1786 01:33:13 I love you. This is your moment.This is all you.
1787 01:33:16 I'm just so happy for youand your wife and your kids.
1788 01:33:19 Okay? That's all I want.
1789 01:33:20 -I love you! I love you!-You deserve everything!
1790 01:33:23 -Courtney, get in here!-You deserve everything!
1791 01:33:25 Uh, we do have to go to Chili's, though.
1792 01:33:27 I told the lady we'd be thereby 10:30, so let's get going.
1793 01:33:30 -Why are you talking about Chili's now?-I just don't wanna...
1794 01:33:33 I don't want her to screw usfor the next time, you know. Let's go.
1795 01:33:50 Eat up those baby backs, guys.
1796 01:33:54 How do you take care of everybodyand never worry about yourself?
1797 01:34:00 How do you become Sandy?
1798 01:34:02 Oh, well, listen.
1799 01:34:04 How do you get to Carnegie Hall?Practice, practice, practice.
1800 01:34:08 - Hmm.- Huh?
1801 01:34:12 I wish I could stay here.
1802 01:34:14 This is the best day I've had in years.
1803 01:34:19 Listen, you can stay as long as you want.
1804 01:34:23 I'm supposed to go to New York tomorrow
1805 01:34:25 and shoot this VH1 thingwith Lenny Kravitz.
1806 01:34:29 Yeah?
1807 01:34:31 That's a good thing.
1808 01:34:33 Is it?
1809 01:34:36 Then why don't I wanna go?
1810 01:34:43 Tell me I don't have to go, Sandy.
1811 01:34:46 No, no, no.
1812 01:34:49 Why won't you?
1813 01:34:52 'Cause that's not my job anymore.
1814 01:34:55 Okay.
1815 01:34:58 What do you want me to do?
1816 01:35:02 What I want you to dois concentrate on your career.
1817 01:35:07 Music comes first.
1818 01:35:10 Go to New York.
1819 01:35:16 - You know what?- What?
1820 01:35:20 You're a jerk.
1821 01:35:32 Oh, God, yes!
1822 01:35:35 What was that?
1823 01:35:37 -Firuz!-Oh, all right, then.
1824 01:35:40 I'll go take a walk or something.
1825 01:35:42 Have the best night of your life, Sandy.
1826 01:35:45 I'm trying.
1827 01:35:49 Ultimately, I have to move.
1828 01:36:29 The day was perfect, the night was better.
1829 01:36:32 Thank you. I'm off to New York.
1830 01:36:35 Sandy knows best.
1831 01:36:37 Love, Court.
1832 01:36:46 -Pick that up!-Shut up, Firuz!
1833 01:36:52 Just shut up.
1834 01:36:53 Success can be really lonely.
1835 01:36:55 That's why you kinda longfor someone to share it with.
1836 01:36:58 So a week later,her and Lenny Kravitz moved in together.
1837 01:37:01 And then two weeks later after that,moved out.
1838 01:37:03 And she moved on to Johnny Depp.
1839 01:37:05 -Chris Cornell.-George Clooney.
1840 01:37:06 -Ziggy Marley.-Pauly Shore.
1841 01:37:08 I went out with her?
1842 01:37:10 Man, Sandy was messed up.
1843 01:37:13 Sir, are you committing suicide?
1844 01:37:15 'Cause I don't thinkI'm allowed to film that!
1845 01:37:17 No, I'm not!
1846 01:37:19 I'm fine, thank you very much!
1847 01:37:21 She can date whoever she wants to date!That's her thing!
1848 01:37:25 -He's talking to me.-He's talking to you?
1849 01:37:34 Sandy, that pool looks far away.How long until my skin starts burning?
1850 01:37:38 I think the safety advisorsaid four seconds you get
1851 01:37:44 before you must be wet.
1852 01:37:45 You think he said thator he said that? Four?
1853 01:37:47 I got to admit, I haven't been sleeping.I'm just so tired.
1854 01:37:51 I don't care. I'm about to be lit on fire!
1855 01:37:52 He said it! He said what he said.
1856 01:37:55 Okay, here we go. Right calf first.
1857 01:37:59 Okay. Okay.
1858 01:38:01 - Okay!- Okay, go, go, go!
1859 01:38:03 Whoo! Yeah!
1860 01:38:07 --What? Oh!
1861 01:38:09 No!
1862 01:38:14 No!
1863 01:38:17 Okay. So birds sleep at night,but the bats wake up.
1864 01:38:20 - Okay.
1865 01:38:22 Now we know. Now we know.No, this is a good thing.
1866 01:38:29 I'm telling you, Bud,he can follow anybody.
1867 01:38:32 He can follow... He followed Minnieat The Ice House recently.
1868 01:38:35 I know you don't like The Ice House.I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry.
1869 01:38:39 All right, I'm gonna go watch Kevin.
1870 01:38:41 -Hey, Sandy.-Kirby.
1871 01:38:43 You got a minute?
1872 01:38:44 Yeah, I'm going to watchmy client on stage.
1873 01:38:47 Actually, Kevin and I thinkit's time for a change.
1874 01:38:50 He's dumping me through you?
1875 01:38:51 You gotta admit,you've been a bit clingy. I'm telling ya.
1876 01:38:54 You're telling me? I'm telling you.
1877 01:38:56 So we agree.
1878 01:38:58 Bud, Alex, how are you guys?Good to see you.
1879 01:39:02 It's all happening here tonight, isn't it?
1880 01:39:10 ♪ You give me butterfly, butterflies ♪
1881 01:39:14 ♪ Down in my soul ♪
1882 01:39:16 ♪ Butterflies, butterfly ♪
1883 01:39:19 Why the hell do youhave me singing that song?
1884 01:39:21 -They hated it!-No.
1885 01:39:23 This is an awful idea, Sandy!
1886 01:39:24 No, I... I'm telling you,you did better than you think!
1887 01:39:28 -You are out of your mind!-No! No!
1888 01:39:31 -I'm sorry.-No, don't.
1889 01:39:32 -It's time you go night-night.-No night-night! No!
1890 01:39:34 -You're fired.-Oh, God! Come on!
1891 01:39:37 No! You can't do that to me! Aah!
1892 01:39:43 We're done, Sandy. We're done!
1893 01:39:45 Don't say that.
1894 01:39:51 Your life is an adventure.
1895 01:39:53 You don't want to miss a single moment.
1896 01:39:55 - This girl's the new Grace Kelly.- Now, you don't have to.
1897 01:39:58 Vag-Eze, America's number onevaginal discharge ointment.
1898 01:40:02 Side effects include dryness,burning, itching, fallopian tube--
1899 01:40:05 -What's vaginal discharge?-Can I have some?
1900 01:40:09 You said it wasa coffee commercial, Sandy!
1901 01:40:13 What the hell is going on here?
1902 01:40:19 Please, God, I need a miracle.
1903 01:40:33 "Remember, kids,if you laugh when you are blue,
1904 01:40:39 the sun...
1905 01:40:41 ...will always shine on you.
1906 01:40:46 Honk, honk.
1907 01:40:50 Mr. Buttons."
1908 01:41:24 Teddy!
1909 01:41:26 Wonderful news. Mr. Buttons is dead!
1910 01:41:31 You killed him?
1911 01:41:33 No! He hung himself!
1912 01:41:36 -Really?-His time slot's open, guys.
1913 01:41:39 I got you the audition.
1914 01:41:41 It doesn't feel right.I mean, I feel bad for the guy.
1915 01:41:43 Screw Mr. Buttons! It's our turn!
1916 01:41:45 -He couldn't take the pressure.-He took the coward's way out.
1917 01:41:50 I gotta tell you, it's the first timeI... I agree with the puppets.
1918 01:41:58 Friend Boom Boom is gonnasing a song for us today, kids.
1919 01:42:01 Would you like that?Would you like to hear it?
1920 01:42:04 I hate singing.
1921 01:42:05 What are you talking about?You sing all the time.
1922 01:42:08 You sing in the car,you sing in the shower...
1923 01:42:10 You spy on me in the shower?
1924 01:42:14 -That is not what I meant.-I can sing, Ted.
1925 01:42:17 - Would you like to hear that, kids?- Yeah!
1926 01:42:26 You have somethingin your throat, Heather?
1927 01:42:28 Yeah, your hand, dummy!
1928 01:42:33 I can't believe it.These kids are eating your boy up!
1929 01:42:36 I mean, he could be the next Buttons.
1930 01:42:37 -Didn't I tell you? Didn't I say?-Yeah, great.
1931 01:42:39 Hey! There's a caterpillar on your face.
1932 01:42:43 What's with you?What, are you okay?
1933 01:42:45 -No, no, I, uh...-Something wrong? There's something wrong?
1934 01:42:48 Maybe a little dizzy.I had too many bacon bits this morning.
1935 01:42:51 Bacon Bits? What is that?That's a dog food, no?
1936 01:42:54 No. Didn't say that on the box.
1937 01:42:56 Yeah, all right, whatever. Tell you what,you come to my office in an hour.
1938 01:43:00 We'll hammer out a deal.
1939 01:43:01 I'll get your boy on the air ASAP.Okay, bud?
1940 01:43:05 All righty. That makes me very happy.
1941 01:43:10 - They absolutely loved you.
1942 01:43:12 -You're getting the job, Teddy.-I did good. I did good.
1943 01:43:14 My only fear is they're gonna tryto lowball you on the deal, all right?
1944 01:43:18 The key to this meeting is tough talk.
1945 01:43:21 These TV jerks only respondto bullying and aggression.
1946 01:43:25 Well, I'll let you handle all that, okay?
1947 01:43:29 I'm no doctor,but Sandy look like crap on a stick.
1948 01:43:33 No, I'm fine.
1949 01:43:35 - Sandy!- No.
1950 01:43:37 I thinkhe's having a heart attack.
1951 01:43:39 We... we gotta get you to a hospital.Boom Boom, call an ambulance!
1952 01:43:42 No, Boom Boom.First meeting, close deal, then hop-ital.
1953 01:43:49 Forget the meeting.You can barely speak.
1954 01:43:51 But... you can.
1955 01:43:58 So what we saw in theretold us everything we need to know.
1956 01:44:03 We love Ted. The kids love Ted.
1957 01:44:06 - That is... That's spectacular.
1958 01:44:08 Thank you.Thank you so much.
1959 01:44:09 But the fact ishe's never been on television.
1960 01:44:12 So here's the deal.
1961 01:44:14 Six episodes, 15 grand a pop,and then we see what we do from there.
1962 01:44:26 Are you kidding me, Marty?
1963 01:44:29 -What?-You think I'm a complete a-hole?
1964 01:44:33 No, no, no.
1965 01:44:34 Then why are you treating me like one?
1966 01:44:37 I think it's a reasonablestarting place, Sandy.
1967 01:44:42 Reasonable, Fishbein? It's dog crap.
1968 01:44:46 If we take this deal,
1969 01:44:47 my guy's gonna end up at the end of a ropejust like your last clown.
1970 01:44:52 -Whoa, man!-All right. Sandy, Sandy. Take it easy.
1971 01:44:54 Take it easy. Just make us a counter.
1972 01:44:58 We want a two year...Five year deal.
1973 01:45:02 Sandy, please.
1974 01:45:04 Twenty-four show minimum,50 grand an episode,
1975 01:45:08 with a 200K bumpevery year we're on the air.
1976 01:45:13 This guy's an animal.
1977 01:45:15 He's literally foaming at the mouth.
1978 01:45:16 And the puppets gettheir own dressing rooms.
1979 01:45:22 Just kidding.
1980 01:45:24 Okay.
1981 01:45:25 Three years, 20 show minimum,at the numbers you mentioned.
1982 01:45:30 Deal.
1983 01:45:31 Ted, welcome to the UPN family.
1984 01:45:41 And that's how Sandy died.On the conference room floor at UPN.
1985 01:45:48 Just kidding.They took him to the hospital.
1986 01:45:52 Where am I?
1987 01:45:53 You had a minor heart attack.A warning shot.
1988 01:45:57 Probably due to stress. And meat.
1989 01:46:00 Just need to rest for a few days.Here you go.
1990 01:46:08 This is too nice of a room for me.I can't afford this.
1991 01:46:13 Come on, man. I wasn't gonna let youslum it down in the regular people ward.
1992 01:46:17 First class all the way for my Sandman.
1993 01:46:20 -You came!-Of course.
1994 01:46:23 Miss Clarke, I love your new album.
1995 01:46:25 I play it every day. I'm obsessed with it.
1996 01:46:27 Thank you.
1997 01:46:28 -You're so beautiful.-Thank you.
1998 01:46:29 - Can I touch you?
1999 01:46:33 Oh, I... I...I just touched the queen!
2000 01:46:36 Oh, and you, sir, you need a new bedpan,so I'm gonna grab that for you.
2001 01:46:40 -I used the bedpan while I was sleeping?-Thanks.
2002 01:46:44 You did a new album?
2003 01:46:46 Oh. Don't you worry about that.I want you to worry about getting better.
2004 01:46:51 It's scary, knowing your heart's not good.
2005 01:46:54 Sandy Wexler, you havethe biggest, best, strongest heart
2006 01:46:59 in this whole miserable town.And that's a fact.
2007 01:47:03 Miserable town?
2008 01:47:05 It's been quite nice to you,thank you very much.
2009 01:47:08 I guess.
2010 01:47:09 I just feel like I need a change,you know?
2011 01:47:13 So I'm moving to Seattle.
2012 01:47:15 Seattle? What are you talking about?
2013 01:47:18 That whole grunge thing, that's old hat.Why would you go there?
2014 01:47:26 The guy I'm marrying lives there.
2015 01:47:32 You're getting married?
2016 01:47:35 Yeah.
2017 01:47:37 Saturday, in Malibu.
2018 01:47:39 His name is Eric Lamonsoff.He's not in show business.
2019 01:47:43 He owns a chain of coffee stores.
2020 01:47:45 A store that just sells coffee?I don't know.
2021 01:47:49 That ain't gonna work, kid.
2022 01:47:52 I just need a... a break from the music.
2023 01:47:56 But singing's the only thingthat makes you happy.
2024 01:48:00 Yeah, but I'm looking for something elseto make me happy.
2025 01:48:05 'Cause that's not it anymore.
2026 01:48:10 Miss Clarke, I'm so sorry to bother you,but would you?
2027 01:48:13 Sure.
2028 01:48:15 Is that the record? Can you play it?
2029 01:48:17 -Is there a player in the room?-Yeah.
2030 01:48:20 I gotta hear this.
2031 01:48:29 You were always there for me.
2032 01:48:34 Even when you weren't.
2033 01:48:44 Goodbye, Sandy.
2034 01:48:55 ♪ My world had no room for dreams ♪
2035 01:48:59 ♪ When you found me ♪
2036 01:49:03 ♪ I was happy just floating downstream ♪
2037 01:49:06 ♪ That's when you found me ♪
2038 01:49:11 ♪ Life was passing me byBut you told me to fly ♪
2039 01:49:16 ♪ I thought that I was invisible ♪
2040 01:49:19 ♪ But you saw me ♪
2041 01:49:23 ♪ Yeah, you saw me ♪
2042 01:49:30 ♪ And I'm gonna love you ♪
2043 01:49:34 ♪ In the rain or shineTill the end of time ♪
2044 01:49:38 ♪ Let you know that I need you ♪
2045 01:49:42 ♪ You're my everythingThe reason I sing ♪
2046 01:49:47 ♪ Just take me awayGive me love ♪
2047 01:49:51 ♪ The northern lightsAnd the stars above... ♪
2048 01:49:54 ♪ ...went wandering far and near ♪
2049 01:49:57 ♪ But in every placeThey said to his face now ♪
2050 01:50:02 ♪ Get out of here ♪
2051 01:50:04 - ♪ Get out, get out ♪
2052 01:50:07 I love this song.
2053 01:50:09 This guy's butchering it.
2054 01:50:14 Alfred?
2055 01:50:17 Wow. Nobody's called me that in years.
2056 01:50:20 Good to see you, Sandy.
2057 01:50:22 Hey, what are you doing here?
2058 01:50:25 Well, this is whereI get all my best ideas.
2059 01:50:27 Well, here and the radio.
2060 01:50:29 Yeah, you... you've been on such a roll.
2061 01:50:31 From "My Bologna"to "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi."
2062 01:50:35 Just great. Clever stuff.
2063 01:50:37 Oh, thanks, man. Well, you know,you're the one who put it all together.
2064 01:50:40 --Remember what you told me?
2065 01:50:42 -Stick with the accordion.-Uh-huh.
2066 01:50:44 Only wear Hawaiian shirts.
2067 01:50:46 Do funny words to other people's songs.
2068 01:50:49 -Genius.-Huh?
2069 01:50:50 I'm glad. I'm glad it all worked outfor you. I really am. Sincerely.
2070 01:50:54 Thank you, man. Well, I'm just sorrythat we couldn't have done it together.
2071 01:50:58 Hey, listen. I got too close.
2072 01:51:00 Our friendship was gettingin the way of our business.
2073 01:51:03 You did what you had to do.
2074 01:51:05 Wait a minute.Is that what you think happened?
2075 01:51:08 That is what happened.
2076 01:51:10 -You thought we got too close?-Yeah.
2077 01:51:12 - No, Sandy.- That's not why I left you.
2078 01:51:15 I left you because youcould never tell me the truth.
2079 01:51:19 What? That's ridiculous!
2080 01:51:21 Tell me one timeI didn't tell you the truth.
2081 01:51:25 You told me we could copyrightthe word "weird."
2082 01:51:28 No, I said it was weirdthat we couldn't copyright it.
2083 01:51:31 You... Come on. You were hearingwhat you want to hear.
2084 01:51:34 Sandy, you tell peoplewhat you think they want to hear.
2085 01:51:37 - I don't agree.- No, look.
2086 01:51:39 For me, if you really care about someone,you tell 'em the truth.
2087 01:51:54 You're right, Alfred.
2088 01:51:57 Damn it, you're 100% right.
2089 01:52:00 -Your hair looks good, by the way.-Thanks, man, I...
2090 01:52:04 -You're lying again.-I am. It looks like dirty spaghetti.
2091 01:52:08 I gotta stop. I'm gonna stop!
2092 01:52:11 -I'm gonna stop, Alfred.-You should.
2093 01:52:17 Hey! Hey! You suck!
2094 01:52:20 You know what?Real funny, Weird Al.
2095 01:52:23 Why don't you make me laugh one timewithout using somebody else's music?
2096 01:52:27 Get off of me.
2097 01:52:29 I'd like to book a spacefor a private event.
2098 01:52:33 No! No! Don't tell me it's impossible!Everything's negotiable!
2099 01:52:43 Put it on your calendar, Ted.Okay? Don't be late.
2100 01:52:46 I think we'll be busy.
2101 01:52:48 -I'm not talking to you.-Hey!
2102 01:52:49 I'm talking to Ted!
2103 01:52:50 -Okay. We'll be there.-What's his problem?
2104 01:52:52 I don't know. Just do what he says.
2105 01:53:04 It's an international call,so talk fast, okay?
2106 01:53:08 Can I count on you?
2107 01:53:10 Perfect.
2108 01:53:11 And you have a valid driver's license?
2109 01:53:18 How am I looking?
2110 01:53:19 You actually look good, Sandy.
2111 01:53:21 That surprises you?
2112 01:53:27 -Courtney, your limo is here.-It's showtime, girl.
2113 01:53:29 Wow. Um, it's early.I'll be right down, guys.
2114 01:53:42 It's a big day, Miss Courtney Clarke.
2115 01:53:46 The biggest.
2116 01:53:47 -You look very beautiful.-Thanks.
2117 01:53:50 How is traffic out there?
2118 01:53:51 Traffic's not a problem.You sit back, relax.
2119 01:53:58 Let Firuz take good care of you.
2120 01:54:04 Sir, I think you missed our turn.
2121 01:54:07 No, no, no, no.
2122 01:54:08 That was a thing that on purpose I did.
2123 01:54:11 We're going shortcut.
2124 01:54:32 What are we doing here?
2125 01:54:34 Please, miss, go inside.
2126 01:54:37 I'm going inside to call the police.
2127 01:55:16 Sandy?
2128 01:55:18 Just you and meunder the stars again, kid.
2129 01:55:21 -Yeah, but now's not exactly a good time.-I know.
2130 01:55:25 And I have no right to say to you whatI'm gonna say, but I'm gonna do it anyway.
2131 01:55:31 You like making trouble,don't you, Sandy?
2132 01:55:34 Look, here's the thing.
2133 01:55:36 Maybe sometimes I got a way of tellingpeople what I think they want to hear,
2134 01:55:41 rather than what I'm really thinking.
2135 01:55:44 So I was thinking, if I startedsaying the stuff that I think,
2136 01:55:49 maybe I'm gonna find out that's actuallywhat the people wanted to hear.
2137 01:55:54 Oh, shit, Sandy.You mixed up your pills.
2138 01:55:56 What I'm trying to say isthis Eric Lamonsoff guy is wrong for you.
2139 01:56:00 Just like Bling was the wrong guyand Lenny Kravitz.
2140 01:56:05 Marc Anthony. And Prince.And Apollonia.
2141 01:56:10 Dennis Rodman,who's great on the boards, but...
2142 01:56:13 You dated Dennis Rodman?Good Lord.
2143 01:56:16 Dad, what are you doing here?
2144 01:56:18 Sandy's gettin' to that part.You just listen.
2145 01:56:20 Yeah, thank you, Willy.
2146 01:56:22 All right, here's the deal.
2147 01:56:25 All those guys were chasing youbecause you're incredible.
2148 01:56:29 But none of them really know who you are.
2149 01:56:33 Who am I, Sandy?
2150 01:56:34 You're Courtney Clarke.
2151 01:56:38 The beautiful swan from Magic Mountain.
2152 01:56:41 Now, I wouldn't tell you to break a deal
2153 01:56:43 unless I thought there wasa better offer out there for you.
2154 01:56:47 -Is there a better offer?-Oh, absolutely.
2155 01:56:50 There's an aggressive offer out there.
2156 01:56:53 There's a guy who's willing to be devotedto you 100% for your entire life.
2157 01:56:59 A guy who will make all the toughphone calls, fight all the big fights.
2158 01:57:03 A guy who will never doubt you.
2159 01:57:05 Even when you doubt yourself.
2160 01:57:08 Keep going.
2161 01:57:09 He has surprisingly muscular quadsdue to the ThighMaster.
2162 01:57:16 But what does this guy want in return?
2163 01:57:18 All he wants in returnis for you to be you,
2164 01:57:21 just the way you are,because he loves you.
2165 01:57:26 I love you.
2166 01:57:29 I've always loved you.
2167 01:57:33 You're my star, Courtney.
2168 01:57:36 I love you, too, Sandy.
2169 01:57:40 I should have told you the truthso long ago.
2170 01:57:43 Listen, I dye my hair.
2171 01:57:46 And I also apologize to my clothesif I don't wear 'em enough.
2172 01:57:49 -No more truth.-Absolutely.
2173 01:57:51 Just kiss me.
2174 01:57:54 Save that kiss. I cameall the way down here for a wedding.
2175 01:57:57 -Let's get to it.-Yeah, let's not get him mad.
2176 01:58:00 Yeah, you're right.
2177 01:58:02 Boom Boom is ordainedas an interdenominational minister.
2178 01:58:06 Or we also have...
2179 01:58:09 Hey. Shalom.
2180 01:58:12 There he is.
2181 01:58:13 What do you say, kid?
2182 01:58:16 Will you marry me?
2183 01:58:17 You had me at "shalom."
2184 01:58:21 ♪ I prefer you to remain a Christian ♪
2185 01:58:26 No, no, no. That's fine.Either way, I'm good.
2186 01:58:35 Meanwhile, Eric Lamonsoffwas across town waiting at the altar.
2187 01:58:39 And don't feel sorry for him.
2188 01:58:40 That whole coffee thingworked out just great.
2189 01:58:42 Plus, he ended up marryingDowntown Julie Brown.
2190 01:58:46 -Honey?-What?
2191 01:58:47 -You got a little schmutz, right there.-Thank you. Thank you.
2192 01:58:49 Something had clicked with Sandy.
2193 01:58:50 And he started reaching outone by one to his old clients.
2194 01:58:54 And because he startedtelling them the truth...
2195 01:58:57 most of them ended uphaving pretty big careers.
2196 01:58:59 -I signed with him.-I signed with him.
2197 01:59:01 -I signed with him.-We signed with him.
2198 01:59:03 And of course, I went back to Sandy.
2199 01:59:06 He's my manager and my best friend again.
2200 01:59:08 Too bad a wedding officiatedby a puppet was not legal.
2201 01:59:12 Which is why, 20 years later,they're finally making it real.
2202 01:59:16 - There he is!- Yeah! How y'all doing?
2203 01:59:25 Show business wealth is good,but it's not real wealth.
2204 01:59:28 -It's not---Hey, shot, man?
2205 01:59:30 -Let's do a shot? Oh, all right.-I'm good. I'm good.
2206 01:59:32 -Hey!-Oh, my God! Hi!
2207 01:59:37 I'm sorry, what?
2208 01:59:39 I'm sorry, man.I can't understand a word you're saying.
2209 01:59:42 No, seriously, I got nothing.
2210 01:59:49 All right. Hello. Hello. Hello.Hi, guys.
2211 01:59:53 Oh, thank you, Sandy.
2212 01:59:55 All these years in the business,he's got me working a wedding.
2213 01:59:57 This is fantastic. He booked mein a tent, really is what it is.
2214 02:00:01 Said if I do good here,I get a yurt next year.
2215 02:00:07 No, um... that was, uh,some ceremony, too.
2216 02:00:10 It was a... It was a little awkward,the priest and the rabbi together.
2217 02:00:12 That's always a...
2218 02:00:14 The rabbi, he was, like, Googling,"Who's Jesus Christ?"
2219 02:00:16 But that's okay.
2220 02:00:19 Uh, what else is going on?
2221 02:00:21 -Just bring out the couple already.-Yeah, quit doing your act.
2222 02:00:24 - You're right. Okay.
2223 02:00:26 Please welcome, for the first time ever,Mr. and Mrs. Sandy and Courtney Wexler.
2224 02:00:51 Dad. Bye.
2225 02:01:04 -Sing! Sing!-Do it, girl!
2226 02:01:14 Oh.
2227 02:01:15 Hey, hey, it could be worse.He could be eating.
2228 02:01:20 ♪ There's no business like show businessLike no business I know ♪
2229 02:01:27 ♪ Everything about it is appealing ♪
2230 02:01:31 ♪ Everything that traffic will allow ♪
2231 02:01:34 ♪ Nowhere can you getThat happy feeling ♪
2232 02:01:37 ♪ When you are stealing that extra bow ♪
2233 02:01:40 ♪ There's no people like show people ♪
2234 02:01:44 ♪ They smile when they are low ♪
2235 02:01:47 He's so happy.
2236 02:01:49 ♪ Even with a turkeyThat you know will fold ♪
2237 02:01:51 ♪ You may be stranded out in the cold ♪
2238 02:01:54 ♪ Still you wouldn't change itFor a sack of gold ♪
2239 02:01:58 ♪ Let's go on with the show ♪
2240 02:02:01 I'm embarrassed for him.
2241 02:02:03 ♪ The costumes, the sceneryThe makeup, the props ♪
2242 02:02:05 ♪ The audience that lifts youWhen you're down ♪
2243 02:02:11 ♪ The headaches, the heartachesThe backaches, the flops ♪
2244 02:02:14 ♪ The sheriff who escorts youOut of town ♪
2245 02:02:17 You heard me, Pauly.
2246 02:02:19 Yes! That's right, you son of a bitch!
2247 02:02:23 ♪ The opening when your heartBeats like a drum ♪
2248 02:02:27 ♪ The closingWhen the customers won't come ♪
2249 02:02:30 -You've been there.-Shut up.
2250 02:02:32 ♪ There's no business like show businessLike no business I know ♪
2251 02:02:38 Oh! Oh! Oh!
2252 02:02:40 ♪ Traveling through the countryWill be thrilling ♪
2253 02:02:43 ♪ Standing out in frontOn opening nights ♪
2254 02:02:46 ♪ Smiling as you watchThe theater filling ♪
2255 02:02:49 ♪ And there's your billingOut in the lights ♪
2256 02:02:53 ♪ There's no people like show people ♪
2257 02:02:56 ♪ They smile when they are low ♪
2258 02:03:00 ♪ Yesterday they told youYou would not go far ♪
2259 02:03:03 ♪ That night you open and there you are ♪
2260 02:03:07 ♪ Next day on your dressing roomThey've hung a star ♪
2261 02:03:10 ♪ Let's go on with the show ♪
2262 02:03:20 ♪ Let's go on with the show ♪
2263 02:03:37 Yeah, every time I ran into Sandy, he usedto say, "I got to meet this Beavis kid.
2264 02:03:42 Yeah, I want to represent him."
2265 02:03:43 He didn't understandthat that's a cartoon character.
2266 02:03:46 You can't really managea cartoon character.
2267 02:03:49 And, uh, he did give me his number though,
2268 02:03:52 and, uh, we used to call himin the middle of the night.
2269 02:03:58 Wexler Artists.
2270 02:04:00 Is this Sandy?
2271 02:04:03 Yeah. Yeah, who... who is this?
2272 02:04:05 You know who this is.
2273 02:04:07 No, I don't. That's why I'm asking.
2274 02:04:10 Guess.
2275 02:04:12 Are you Gary Busey?
2276 02:04:14 No way! Dumbass.
2277 02:04:17 Who? Beavis?
2278 02:04:20 -You suck!-What? No, I don't.
2279 02:04:23 You suck balls.
2280 02:04:25 No, no, no, no.
2281 02:04:26 You don't sound so good.
2282 02:04:28 Now, tell me where you areand I'll pick you up.
2283 02:04:31 I'm in your butt.
2284 02:04:33 What? What's this?
2285 02:04:35 Yeah, I'm in there right now.
2286 02:04:38 Hemorrhoids.
2287 02:04:39 Wait. You get out of my butt.Get out right now.
2288 02:04:43 Kill yourself.
2289 02:04:45 Okay. Okay, that's it.I'm hanging up the phone.
2290 02:04:51 Wexler Artists.
2291 02:04:53 Uh... Sandy Wexler?
2292 02:04:57 Who is this?
2293 02:04:58 Uh, this is Butt-Head.
2294 02:05:00 Oh, hi, Butt-Head.
2295 02:05:03 Uh, Sandy,I'm calling about Beavis.
2296 02:05:07 Uh, yeah. Beavis wasn'ttoo courteous last night, Butt-Head.
2297 02:05:11 Uh, that's why I'm calling.
2298 02:05:13 Uh-huh.
2299 02:05:14 Uh, Beavis wantedto say he's sorry.
2300 02:05:17 Oh, okay. He is, huh?He... he's sorry?
2301 02:05:20 Yeah. Beavis sayshe's sorry you're such a dumbass.
2302 02:05:24 What? What's that?What? What'd you say?
2303 02:05:27 Uh, and he's also sorry
2304 02:05:29 that he said your face looks like a toiletand your balls smell funny.
2305 02:05:34 Okay, okay.Well, you tell him I accept.
2306 02:05:37 Look, you're good kids,and I like what you're doing.
2307 02:05:40 I think if you want to getto the next level, you're gonna--
2308 02:05:44 - Uh, hang on a second.- Okay.
2309 02:05:47 Beavis wants to say something, sir.
2310 02:05:48 - Oh, okay.- Hey, this is Beavis.
2311 02:05:51 Uh... oh, hi, Beavis.
2312 02:05:54 - Sandy Wexler?- Yeah.
2313 02:05:56 Sandy Wexler?
2314 02:05:59 - Yeah, I know my name.- Of Wexler Fartists?
2315 02:06:03 All right. Okay, come on, guys.
2316 02:06:06 Uh...You said you wanna come on guys?
2317 02:06:12 That's it. I'm getting off.
2318 02:06:13 You said you're getting off.
2319 02:06:17 All right.Listen, you sons of bitches.
2320 02:06:20 I'll find your parents
2321 02:06:21 and make you wish you never messedwith the king of Hollywood.
2322 02:06:25 You said "wood."
2323 02:06:26 - All right. Come on!
2324 02:06:30 Stop it!
2325 02:06:33 -All right, good.-All right.
2326 02:06:34 --Yeah!