疯狂之家 (The House)(EN)Subtitles

SRT Subtitles download

Color: Size:1416 18202224 26283040 LightfaceBold StandardItalic

ASS Custom style subtitle

Subtitle Preview：
1 00:00:28 TOUR GUIDE: Now, ifyou'II follow methis way onto the quad,
2 00:00:31 we'll continue our campus tour.
3 00:00:32 SCOTT: So, sweetie, remember,if you drink a beer,
4 00:00:34 you drink a glass of water, all right'?
5 00:00:36 Six-pack of beer, six-pack of water.
6 00:00:38 Okay. Thisjust sounds likeway too much liquid.
7 00:00:41 KATE: Or just don't party at all.
8 00:00:43 Okay, Mom, you're the onewho always talks about
9 00:00:44 how much you smoked pot in college
10 00:00:46 and for a whole semester,you just peed outside.
11 00:00:48 Okay, they did call me,"Smoke a Lot of Pot and Pee Outside" Kate.
12 00:00:52 - Well...- But I regret that.
13 00:00:53 Okay? Just skip over that partand act like I am now.
14 00:00:56 - Okay.- Oh. Let's show her stranger danger.
15 00:00:58 - Do you know stranger danger?-(SIGHS) I'm sure--
16 00:01:00 Okay, this is real important.So, I'm a scary frat guy.
17 00:01:03 - Right? There's a Io! of them.- Okay.
18 00:01:06 - Mom is you, all right?- Lucky me. (CHUCKLES)
19 00:01:08 Okay. Hey, sweet thing.
20 00:01:10 - My name's Geppetto.- Whoa.
21 00:01:12 - Uh, 'cause I make the ladies my puppets.- Uh...
22 00:01:15 - Yeah. Right?- See? I already don't trust him.
23 00:01:16 - Right? He's a bad guy.- Trust your instincts.
24 00:01:18 - Bad guy.- Weird choice.
25 00:01:19 SCOTT: So, you wanna come upto the bro house'?
26 00:01:21 You don't have to answer.
27 00:01:23 - Oh...- But, for this scenario, I will.
28 00:01:24 I'm fine, thank you.I'm getting ready to study.
29 00:01:27 Oh, but I like the silent type.
30 00:01:29 You smell good.
31 00:01:30 You probably think I'm close to you,but I'd like to get closer.
32 00:01:32 Come, my ladyCome, come, my lady
33 00:01:34 You're my sugar pie, honey, baby
34 00:01:36 Then you elbow him in the balls,and then you roll away.
35 00:01:38 (GROANS) Right there. And you roll.
36 00:01:39 - And the guy's like, "No! My nards.“- And you get out of there.
37 00:01:41 So, stay away from guys named Geppetto.
38 00:01:43 Got it. Thank you. Guys...
39 00:01:45 I love this school.This is where I wanna go next year.
40 00:01:49 Oh! We're so happy you love it here!
41 00:01:51 - Let us come with you!-(ALL LAUGHING)
42 00:01:53 - She's just kidding.- Nah.
43 00:01:56 I love yOI-l 9W5-
44 00:01:57 - We love you, too.- Come here.
45 00:01:58 SCOTT: Aw... God, our little baby!
46 00:02:00 (CHUCKLES) If I get in.
47 00:02:02 - If you get in.- If you get in.
48 00:02:04 - That's right.- Tough school. It's tough.
49 00:02:06 Oh, God, No, I don't wanna click it.
50 00:02:08 I'm not gonna click it.One of you click it. I'm not...
51 00:02:09 Honey, Alex, you're an A student, okay?Chill. I'm sure you got in.
52 00:02:13 You know, if they don't want my baby,they're stupid.
53 00:02:16 The Bisons? What kind of mascot is that?
54 00:02:19 If they say no to you,I say we say no to them.
55 00:02:21 Fuck the Bisons! You know'?
56 00:02:22 Yeah. Bucknell, more like Fucknell!
57 00:02:24 Yes!
58 00:02:28 (GASPS) I got in!
59 00:02:30 (ALL SCREAMING)
60 00:02:31 You got in! Yes!
61 00:02:36 Bucknell, I knew ii!I knew it! I knew it!
62 00:02:41 We're Bucknell!
63 00:02:43 - Bucknell, baby! Bucknell!- Yeah! Bucknell!
64 00:02:45 It's a majestic creature, the bison!Bisons! Bisons!
65 00:02:58 Man, Frank is not looking so hotsince Raina left.
66 00:03:01 SCOTT: Ugh, I can smellthat poncho from here.
67 00:03:04 He looks like Animal from the Muppets.
68 00:03:05 What's up, you guys?- What's up, buddy? How are ya?
69 00:03:07 - Guys. Great party!- Frank, buddy.
70 00:03:09 Yeah, it's going great, huh?
71 00:03:10 Yeah, we're glad you could come.
72 00:03:11 - You made it.- Yeah, of course I made it.
73 00:03:14 Rode my bike all the way here.
74 00:03:16 - Good.- Yeah.
75 00:03:17 What happened to your car'?
76 00:03:18 I can't find it.
77 00:03:20 You guys must be pretty psyched, right'?
78 00:03:22 Yeah, we are.
79 00:03:23 So proud of Alex. She's really grown up.
80 00:03:25 No, no, no. I'm talking about us.
81 00:03:27 I'm talking about the three of us,next week. Vegas!
82 00:03:29 - We were thinking about Vegas.- Yeah.
83 00:03:30 What if we push Vegas until the fall?
84 00:03:32 Yeah. We still go.We just push it a little later.
85 00:03:35 No. There's only now.There is no later, right?
86 00:03:37 - We'll talk.-(LAUGHS)
87 00:03:39 All right, buddy. All right.
88 00:03:40 RACHEL: Guys, high school's over.
89 00:03:42 And, let's face it,we're not ready for college.
90 00:03:44 It seems like being a freshman in college
91 00:03:46 means you have to be preparedto get date raped, right?
92 00:03:48 I don't understand the differencebetween, like, rape and date rape.
93 00:03:51 Oh, I think date rape is when you goto dinner and a movie, and then rape.
94 00:03:55 She's talking to her friendsabout how sad she is.
95 00:03:57 - Yeah.- KATE: Look at their body language.
96 00:03:59 They don't want to leave their parents.
97 00:04:01 We're gonna pack everything we shouldhave done at high school into this summer.
98 00:04:04 I mean, I told my parentsI'd hang out with them this summer.
99 00:04:06 - That's weird.- No, my parents are fun.
100 00:04:09 For parents, they're fun.For people, they're the worst. I...
101 00:04:12 Does your mom even talk to you, Rachel?
102 00:04:14 $109-
103 00:04:15 How did we get so luckyto snag a kid like that?
104 00:04:18 I don't know.
105 00:04:19 KATE: Kind of feel likeI'm losing my best friend.
106 00:04:21 Gotten so used to it being us three.
107 00:04:25 What's it gonna be like when it's just us?(CHUCKLES)
108 00:04:32 - Well, it's gonna...-(SPUTTERING)
109 00:04:34 Come on!
110 00:04:35 - I mean, yeah!-(BOTH LAUGHING)
111 00:04:37 SCOTT: Empty nest?
112 00:04:38 This nest is gonna be filledwith our loving.
113 00:04:41 - Yes !- Yeah !
114 00:04:43 It's gonna be a regularfuck fest around here.
115 00:04:45 Oh, yeah! Get your passport ready.
116 00:04:48 'Cause we're...
117 00:04:50 We'll be going to fuck town.
118 00:04:55 What a nice party.
119 00:04:56 Hey, thank you so much for the party.
120 00:04:58 - SCOTT: 0h, you're welcome.-It was really fun.
121 00:05:00 I had such a good time.
122 00:05:02 Rachel invited meover to her house tonight,
123 00:05:05 and I was wondering if I could go.
124 00:05:07 Well, we were gonna watch Walking Dead.
125 00:05:08 KATE: What's more fun,hanging with your friends,
126 00:05:10 or watching zombies eat peoplewith your parents'?
127 00:05:13 -(CHUCKLES)- Think it's time for an Alex sandwich?
128 00:05:15 BOTH: Mmm.
129 00:05:18 Please stay, please stay.
130 00:05:19 BOTH: Stay, stay, stay.
131 00:05:22 Okay. Okay, I'll stay.
132 00:05:23 SCOTT AND KATE: Yes.
133 00:05:26 -(ZOMBIES SNARLING)-(SCOTT AND KATE MOANING)
134 00:05:28 - Brains.- Brains.
135 00:05:30 Oh, no! Oh, no!
136 00:05:33 Brains.
137 00:05:34 (SQUELCHING)
138 00:05:36 KATE: Whoa!
139 00:05:37 - Oh, my God!- SCOTT: Oh!
140 00:05:39 (GAVEL BANGING)
141 00:05:40 BOB: All right, town. We'd now liketo open up the floor to its citizens.
142 00:05:43 First up on the docket,
143 00:05:45 Council would like torecognize Officer Chandler.
144 00:05:48 Good afternoon.
145 00:05:50 Last Tuesday nightat approximately 3:14 am,
146 00:05:54 vandals spray-paintedwhat appears to be a male penis
147 00:05:57 and accompanying genitalia
148 00:06:01 on the high school football field.
149 00:06:02 It has since been removed.
150 00:06:04 BOB". An right.
151 00:06:06 Town would like to recognizeFrank Theodorakis.
152 00:06:08 $1,500 of fines
153 00:06:11 for the height of my hedges.
154 00:06:14 This is bullshit' Bob.
155 00:06:16 Screw this town,
156 00:06:17 I am out of here. Right after I say this.
157 00:06:19 Raina, baby, please come home.
158 00:06:22 - You're my wife.- Oh, God.
159 00:06:23 - I love you and I want you to come home.- Frank, shut up. Stop it.
160 00:06:26 This is the only timeI can be in the same room with you.
161 00:06:28 - Come home!- Just not here!
162 00:06:29 SCOTT: It's not going the wayyou think it's going.
163 00:06:30 I want it... But I've gottaturn this around. Raina, just--
164 00:06:32 - Stop it. Go. Just--- FRANK: Oh, come on!
165 00:06:35 RAINA: And where the hellis our car, Frank?
166 00:06:36 BOB: Well, looks like Fox Meadow's havingits own little soap opera play out here.
167 00:06:39 I'm sorry.
168 00:06:41 No need to apologize to us.
169 00:06:42 Just apologize to yourselffor making a bad decision.
170 00:06:45 On a bad man.
171 00:06:46 Uh, moving on 10 the next issue.
172 00:06:49 If we could, please.Ladies and gentlemen,
173 00:06:51 Fox Meadow's most exciting project,
174 00:06:54 he town pool!
175 00:06:56 -(APPLAUSE)-(GASPS OF AWE)
176 00:07:00 What'?
177 00:07:01 BOB". The actual mo! will be five pools,
178 00:07:03 picnic area, playground,state-of-the-art locker room,
179 00:07:08 and the best food courtin the tri-slate area.
180 00:07:12 (CLEARS THROAT) All right, the last itemon today's agenda is 207-G,
181 00:07:15 that is the Fox Meadow Scholarship
182 00:07:18 rewarding one hardworkinghigh school student...
183 00:07:20 This is us. He's talking about us.
184 00:07:22 ...by paying their college tuition.
185 00:07:24 This years recipientis none other than Alex Johansen.
186 00:07:26 - Alex Johansen.- Alex... Yes!
187 00:07:28 Unfortunately, the town is facingsome devastating budget cuts this year,
188 00:07:32 and Fm afraid the scholarshipis an indulgence
189 00:07:35 that the town can no longer afford.
190 00:07:38 -(GASPS)-(CROWD MURMURING)
191 00:07:40 (BOTH STAMMERING)
192 00:07:41 All right, so if that is it,then we can move on.
193 00:07:43 - Hold on, please.- Bob...
194 00:07:44 Are you saying that you don't havemoney for the scholarship,
195 00:07:47 but you have money for the town pools?
196 00:07:50 Look, I would love togive Alex this scholarship.
197 00:07:53 Heck, Pd love to give everybodya free education.
198 00:07:55 So, let's open it up to the town.
199 00:07:57 By a show of hands,who here likes swimming?
200 00:08:00 (MURMURS OF AGREEMENT)
201 00:08:01 SCOTT: No' wait.
202 00:08:03 - No, don't raise your hands.- Oh, come on.
203 00:08:04 That's not what we're debating here.It's a trick question.
204 00:08:07 I guess I'm a little torn here,to be quite honest,
205 00:08:10 'cause I do love Alex.
206 00:08:12 But I also love swimming.
207 00:08:14 Shut up, Joe.
208 00:08:15 I love swimming. I'm Martha.
209 00:08:18 'Cause, you know,with three kids and a job,
210 00:08:20 it's the only me time I get.
211 00:08:21 Of course you want the pool, Martha.It's right next to your house.
212 00:08:24 You know what Laura brings to a potluck?Her nasty mouth and no more.
213 00:08:28 How was I supposed to knowthat I was supposed to bring food?
214 00:08:30 That invitation was vague.And you don't have to
215 00:08:32 keep telling everyoneyour names Martha, they know.
216 00:08:34 But that's who I am, I'm Martha.
217 00:08:36 All right, ladies, enough, enough.Let's bring this to a vote.
218 00:08:39 Those in favorof eliminating the scholarship
219 00:08:41 and building the town pool, vote yes.
220 00:08:44 Those opposed,who want one family to profit
221 00:08:47 while the rest of the town suffers, no.
222 00:08:49 Yes?
223 00:08:51 All right, looks like the yeses have it.
224 00:08:53 -(SIGHS)- Oh, please.
225 00:09:00 I'll tell you one thing I'm gonna do isI'm gonna take a hate crap in that pool.
226 00:09:06 SCOTT. We can barely afford our mortgage,and now this?
227 00:09:08 It's time we face the truth,we're bad parents.
228 00:09:10 Remember that motherwho threw her baby down a well?
229 00:09:12 We're worse than that mother.
230 00:09:14 You know, when I became a dad,I made a choice.
231 00:09:17 To be the dad my father wasn't. Right?
232 00:09:21 To play with my daughter,to support her dreams and talents,
233 00:09:24 and, yeah, maybe I could have spenta little more time
234 00:09:28 checking on what was in the bank.
235 00:09:31 But instead, I put my heart in the bank.
236 00:09:34 I deposited love, a lot of it.
237 00:09:38 And that's not gonna be the cover storyof The Wall Street Journal,
238 00:09:42 but it's the headline of my heart.
239 00:09:46 - Does that make sense?- No, honey, I lost you halfway through.
240 00:09:48 Okay, the bottom line is that Alex thinkswe can afford tuition, and we can't.
241 00:09:52 We need to tell her the truth.
242 00:09:53 We always tell the truth.That's what we always say.
243 00:09:55 - Yeah.- Yeah.
244 00:09:56 I think we should do it.
245 00:09:59 - I'm not gonna do it.- Me, neither.
246 00:10:00 We gotta lie about everything,because that's what parents do.
247 00:10:03 The job of being a parent, number one job,
248 00:10:05 is to keep this crazy shitfrom their kids.
249 00:10:07 'Cause otherwise,the kids are gonna realize
250 00:10:09 that we don't know what we're doing!
251 00:10:10 - Exactly, that's what our parents did!- Yeah.
252 00:10:12 My dad had cancer and never told us!
253 00:10:14 And what you didn't know,didn't hurt you.
254 00:10:16 It was weird. But I got over it.
255 00:10:19 And then he died, so...
256 00:10:21 - Yeah.- Hey, guys.
257 00:10:23 Hi.
258 00:10:24 I heard about the scholarship.
259 00:10:27 So, I guess I can't go to Bucknell.
260 00:10:30 You're going to Bucknell University.
261 00:10:33 - We're gonna send you there.- Yeah. Yeah.
262 00:10:35 And if we can't keep the promisethat we make to you,
263 00:10:37 we are the worst parents in the world.
264 00:10:40 Oh, honey.
265 00:10:44 ALEX: Thank you guys so much.
266 00:10:46 - I love you guys.- SCOTT: Love you, too.
267 00:10:52 (BOTH SIGH DEEPLY)
268 00:10:59 SCOTT: So, as you know,Bob took away our scholarship,
269 00:11:02 which we were kind of counting on.
270 00:11:03 But then we rememberedthat we have a college fund
271 00:11:06 with our dear financial adviser, Dawn.
272 00:11:09 You don't have enough money.
273 00:11:10 I don't have any money.
274 00:11:12 Can I have a raise?
275 00:11:14 No way. No Earthly way.
276 00:11:17 - I have an idea.- Hmm?
277 00:11:18 - Can we apply for a loan?-(GASPS)
278 00:11:20 Listen, I'm just gonna comeright out with it.
279 00:11:21 No one's gonna lend you shit.
280 00:11:23 But if I don't get my job back...
281 00:11:28 WOMAN: Are you jerking off a giant?
282 00:11:29 No, I'm...
283 00:11:31 I just hung... I just hanged myself.
284 00:11:33 I don't know if you heard me.If you don't give me a raise,
285 00:11:37 I'm walking out of this buildingand I'm not looking back.
286 00:11:41 I don't believe youand I think you're bluffing.
287 00:11:42 Is this the face of a man who's bluffing?
288 00:11:45 Okay, right here.
289 00:11:47 It says right here, in this account,we have $401,000.
290 00:11:51 Jackpot!- You missed i1!
291 00:11:53 No, that says you have a 401 K account.
292 00:12:00 Look, we have to tell himthat we're not going to Vegas, okay?
293 00:12:02 SCOTT: Yeah. There's no way we can go.
294 00:12:06 Yikes.
295 00:12:09 FRANK: Pm not a loser.RF-ANA: You are a loser!
296 00:12:10 - Frank? Where are you, bud?- FRANK: I'm not a loser! No!
297 00:12:12 - RAINA: What do you want from me?- What do you want from me?
298 00:12:14 - Sign the divorce papers, Frank!- FRANK: No, I don't wanna do...
299 00:12:17 What did I do to makeyou hate me so much?
300 00:12:19 We should get out of here.Give them their privacy.
301 00:12:20 - Yep.- RAINA: You punched my dad!
302 00:12:22 FRANK: He called me a gambling addict!
303 00:12:23 BOTH: Wow.RAINA: You are a gambling addict.
304 00:12:25 You lost your job,and you stopped showering.
305 00:12:27 - We should go.- I know.
306 00:12:28 She's coming.
307 00:12:30 Just signthe fucking divorce papers, Frank.
308 00:12:33 - Oh, hi.- Oh. Hey.
309 00:12:34 Hey, Raina, you look great.
310 00:12:36 RAINA: Oh, wow.
311 00:12:37 That was crazy.
312 00:12:38 -(LAUGHING)- Yeah, it was kind of weird.
313 00:12:40 We don't really know. Yeah.
314 00:12:42 (SIGHS) He's your problem now.
315 00:12:44 (FRANK SOBBING)
316 00:12:51 Hey, Fran k?
317 00:12:54 Hey, bud.
318 00:12:55 Hey. Hey, guys-
319 00:12:58 - What's going on?- I was fixing the sink.
320 00:13:00 Uh-huh.
321 00:13:01 (CLEARS TH ROAT}Splashed some water on my face.
322 00:13:04 -(SNIFFLES) That's what's going on here.- BOTH: Mmm-hmm.
323 00:13:06 'Cause I was fixing the sink,'cause the sink was broken.
324 00:13:09 Right. It's okay. We saw Raina.
325 00:13:11 I know my life seems totally awesomeand, like, things are going great, but...
326 00:13:15 Hmm. It looks pretty bleak in here.
327 00:13:17 Who am I kidding?I'm having a pretty hard time right now.
328 00:13:20 - We get that. Yeah.-It seems like it. Yeah.
329 00:13:22 Which is why I'm all inon this Vegas trip.
330 00:13:25 That's the only thing that iskeeping me alive right now, frankly.
331 00:13:28 So, let's get this party started!
332 00:13:30 - Right.- You know?
333 00:13:33 - I need it bad.- KATE: We know you need it.
334 00:13:35 - Yeah.- But, for us, it's not a great time.
335 00:13:37 So, we were thinking, maybe...
336 00:13:39 SCOTT: Maybe...
337 00:13:40 We could leavelater than we talked about leaving.
338 00:13:44 You said we were going to say--
339 00:13:47 I said we have since...
340 00:13:49 You have since--
341 00:13:50 ...decided thatwe need to support a friend.
342 00:13:55 Who's this friend?
343 00:14:01 Vegas. Whom!
344 00:14:04 (CROWD CHEERING)
345 00:14:10 - DEALER: It's 11! 11!- Yes! Yes!
346 00:14:12 DEALER: Gentleman needs some chips.
347 00:14:13 Guys, what are you waiting for?
348 00:14:15 Get in on this. I'm hitting every singlenumber over and over again.
349 00:14:20 - Let's do this!- DEALER: Dice are out!
350 00:14:22 -11!-(ALL CHEERING)
351 00:14:24 - MAN: This dude is on fire!- You guys need money?
352 00:14:26 lam literally makingevery single person at this table money.
353 00:14:30 I don't know,we said we weren't gonna gamble.
354 00:14:32 Come on.What's the worst that could happen?
355 00:14:34 Maybe we put a few dollars on four.
356 00:14:35 DEALER: Hot shooter.
357 00:14:37 I mean, yeah,the fourth is Alex's birthday.
358 00:14:39 - Right?- We'll just do one bet.
359 00:14:40 I kind of can't lose at this point,so let's do this.
360 00:14:44 DEALER". Welcome to the Wynn, sir.
361 00:14:45 Number four, please.
362 00:14:47 - No, no, not all 500.- Hey-oh!
363 00:14:49 (ALL EXCLAIMING)
364 00:14:51 - Yeah! Fuck yeah, four!- Yes! Yes!
365 00:14:53 Four! Four!
366 00:14:54 I should tell you, the probabilityof hitting four again, very unlikely.
367 00:14:58 But if we do, you guys are gonna doublethat and it's gonna pay out big.
368 00:15:02 And, plus, it's for baby Alex!
369 00:15:03 -(CHANTING) Alex! Alex! Alex!- ALL: Alex! Alex! Alex!
370 00:15:07 DEALER: That's a four.
371 00:15:08 (ALL CHEERING)
372 00:15:10 Come on, Frank! Frank, look at me!
373 00:15:13 - We're gonna do this, Frank!- Here we go, Kate!
374 00:15:15 - Do this!- Let's do this!
375 00:15:31 - DEALER: Four!-(CHEERING)
376 00:15:37 FRANK: Okay, guys,
377 00:15:38 if I roll another four,
378 00:15:40 that's Alex going to college, all right?I feel very lucky right now.
379 00:15:44 - We believe in you, Frank.- All right.
380 00:15:45 Whatever you do, don't roll a seven!
381 00:15:57 (DISTORTED) Why would you say that?
382 00:16:00 (DISTORTED) I didn't know!
383 00:16:03 - No!- No!
384 00:16:06 (DISTORTED) Fuck you, asshole!
385 00:16:11 ALL: No!
386 00:16:21 SCOTT: (DISTORTED) Yeah! Oh, yeah!
387 00:16:23 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
388 00:16:25 KATE; (DISTORTED) Oh, no!FRANK: (DISTORTED) God damn it!
389 00:16:27 DEALER". Seven out, there was no four.
390 00:16:30 Hey, that money's
391 00:16:31 -my daughter's college tuition.- DEALER: Yeah?
392 00:16:33 Well, she just got acceptedto the School of Hard Knocks.
393 00:16:36 - Misroll! It's a misroll!- Scotty, no!
394 00:16:38 I said not a seven!
395 00:16:39 Give me that stick! Give it to me!
396 00:16:42 FRANK: "Whatever you do,don't roll a seven"?
397 00:16:44 Thanks a lot, asshole.You basicallyjinxed us all.
398 00:16:46 I was merely trying to make you awareof what number not to roll,
399 00:16:52 which, by the way, for the record,was seven.
400 00:16:55 -(G ROAN S)- MAN: Fuck you, asshole!
401 00:16:56 That guy gets it!
402 00:16:57 - Why is that guy following me?- Why'?
403 00:16:59 Because he hates you.
404 00:17:01 I hate you, too, right now.
405 00:17:03 This place makes you crazy.
406 00:17:05 You know, we came in hell-bent onnot gambling, and what did we do'?
407 00:17:08 We gambled and we lost all our money.
408 00:17:10 You know what I say?
409 00:17:12 House always wins.
410 00:17:13 What if we were the house?
411 00:17:19 FRANK: Are you guys familiarwith the cliché,
412 00:17:20 "it's a cliche because it's "true"?
413 00:17:22 Well, that cliche about cliches being truehas never been more true
414 00:17:26 than right now with the cliché,"The house always wins."
415 00:17:30 - What?- FRAN K: Okay?
416 00:17:31 Now, we stand to make
417 00:17:33 Your years' tuition in one month.
418 00:17:37 One month, guys. Think about that.
419 00:17:40 This is the most impressive thingyou've ever done, Frank.
420 00:17:42 - KATE: Um...- Thanks, Scott.
421 00:17:43 I'm very wary to gointo business with you.
422 00:17:45 - Noted .- Ho we ver,
423 00:17:47 -we know why we need the money.- Yes.
424 00:17:50 What's in it for you?
425 00:17:51 Well, full disclosure,the bank has foreclosed on my home.
426 00:17:53 - Oh, Frank.- Ah. There we go.
427 00:17:55 So, this money wouldhelp me get that back.
428 00:17:57 That's pretty much why Raina left me.
429 00:17:58 KATE: No, that's not why Raina left you.
430 00:18:00 It's because you startedgambling on golf...
431 00:18:02 True- Well, not just golf, but okay.
432 00:18:03 And you developedan online porn addiction.
433 00:18:05 It's not an addiction if you can quitany time you want, which I can.
434 00:18:08 - Then stop.- I don't want to right now.
435 00:18:11 Listen, I know I'm throwing a lot ofnumbers at you guys, lot of financials.
436 00:18:14 But let's not take away from the factthat this is gonna be fun.
437 00:18:17 Okay, but we're not doing itfor fun, right?
438 00:18:19 - Eh.- No, we aren't. No.
439 00:18:21 - Meh-it's work.
440 00:18:22 I think we're sayingthe same thing, all of us.
441 00:18:24 Work hard, play hard. Everybody has fun.
442 00:18:26 I think this slide will explain it.
443 00:18:29 - FRAN K: Hey-oh! (LAUGHS) Look at that!- Well, it just says "fun."
444 00:18:33 FRANK: ifs fun.SCOTT. Bu! it just says "fun."
445 00:18:35 It's gonna be a great time,probably the best time of our lives.
446 00:18:38 And we're gonna make crazy money.
447 00:18:41 The graphics are great,but it doesn't help us. It doesn't.
448 00:18:43 I have one last slide to show you,and I think it's the most important.
449 00:18:46 Check this out.
450 00:18:47 Look at Alex, right? Here she is-
451 00:18:49 She's gone to college, Bucknell,lop of her class, built her own company.
452 00:18:54 If she doesn't go to college...
453 00:18:56 Boom! She's a homeless prostitute.
454 00:18:58 She's a runaway on the streets,selling her tiny body for money.
455 00:19:03 I don't like this.
456 00:19:04 This is very emotionally manipulative.
457 00:19:06 Yeah, exactly.
458 00:19:07 - May I speak with you privately, please?- Right now?
459 00:19:09 Yes, I'd love to talk to youin the kitchen, if I could.
460 00:19:12 Okay.
461 00:19:17 Well'?
462 00:19:19 Thumbs up, right?
463 00:19:21 I mean, the math. It seems to check out.
464 00:19:24 Do this math. You're 40 years oldand you go to jail for 20 years.
465 00:19:27 How old are you when you get out?
466 00:19:28 - Ninety. Hundred.- No. Honey--
467 00:19:30 If I have some scratch paper,I can figure it out.
468 00:19:32 Really fucking old!
469 00:19:34 Besides, I don't wanna startan illegal operation with...
470 00:19:37 SCOTT: Fran k?KATE: Yes!
471 00:19:39 He's our best friend!
472 00:19:40 No, he's your best friend.
473 00:19:41 He's my long friend.We haven't been friends since college.
474 00:19:44 Besides, we promised Alex
475 00:19:46 that we would spend time with herbefore she went to college.
476 00:19:49 But if we don't have the money,she can't go to college.
477 00:19:52 And then she's living with usuntil she's 40,
478 00:19:54 working as a banged-up cocktail waitress.
479 00:19:56 She's gonna have tattooswith weird guys' names on them.
480 00:19:58 - She's gonna get a neck tattoo.- KATE: Oh, my God.
481 00:20:01 Of a hand trying to choke her.
482 00:20:02 - That's gonna be Alex!- I know. You don't think I know that?
483 00:20:05 We need to figure this shit out!
484 00:20:06 Can we pull this off'?I mean, can we run a casino?
485 00:20:09 It's a shady business
486 00:20:11 with criminals, mobsters,you know, with shady people.
487 00:20:14 Look, we tried to play it safe,we've tried to play by the rules,
488 00:20:18 and it got us nowhere.
489 00:20:20 - What do we have to lose? Nothing.-(SIGHS)
490 00:20:22 So, what do you guys think?
491 00:20:25 Let's take a risk for Alex.
492 00:20:29 All right, fuck it, I'm in.
493 00:20:31 - Yes !- Yeah !
494 00:20:32 (ALL EXCLAIM EXCITEDLY)
495 00:20:34 FRANK: We'll do it here, my house.
496 00:20:36 My hedges are crazy high,so it's private.
497 00:20:39 Pius, Raina took a lo! of the furniture,so we've got plenty of room for tables.
498 00:20:44 We need players. That's easy.
499 00:20:46 There's Martha.
500 00:20:47 Her husband left her last year,and now she runs book club
501 00:20:50 and tries to suppress the rage bubblingjust beneath the surface.
502 00:20:53 There's Joe, retired at 30,taking care of his mom,
503 00:20:57 and bored out of his fucking mind.
504 00:20:59 Then there's Reggie,who just made partner at his law firm,
505 00:21:02 which means he's got cash to bum,but he's super stressed out.
506 00:21:06 He needs to blow of! steam.
507 00:21:08 Now, remember, this isan underground casino.
508 00:21:11 We can': park outside my house,or everyone w!!! know, including the cops.
509 00:21:16 Park at Taylors,
510 00:21:17 buy something and keepthe receipt to prove you're a customer.
511 00:21:20 Don't attract attention.Remember, you're just buying groceries.
512 00:21:24 You're not on your wayto an illegal casino.
513 00:21:27 Walk out lo the back,where the electrical wall
514 00:21:29 and the wooden fence meet by the woods.
515 00:21:33 -(GROANING)-(ALL GASPING)
516 00:21:34 (ALL SHRIEKING)
517 00:21:35 (JOE LAUGHS)
518 00:21:37 FRANK". Ignore the sign.
519 00:21:38 It's a decoy.
520 00:21:40 SCOTT: Got it.
521 00:21:41 FRAN K: Take the path through the woods,bear left at the fourth tree,
522 00:21:45 and boom, you're right in my backyard.
523 00:21:51 Go down the basement stews,
524 00:21:52 then knock three timesand give the password.
525 00:21:54 André the Giant.
526 00:21:58 Welcome. (CHUCKLES)
527 00:21:59 SCOTT: Frank!
528 00:22:01 When we open this door,
529 00:22:02 don't get confused.
530 00:22:04 It's still just Frank's house.
531 00:22:08 Ta-da!
532 00:22:12 What do you guys think'?
533 00:22:13 I mean, am I in the Bellagio right now,or am I three blocks from my house?
534 00:22:18 I genuinely don't know.
535 00:22:19 This is the best day of my entire life.
536 00:22:22 - Thumbs up. Pretty good.-(CHUCKLES)
537 00:22:24 And we can gamble here for real money?
538 00:22:27 This isn't likeone of those charity things
539 00:22:28 where you think you're winningbut then you have to give it
540 00:22:30 to cancer research or some bullshit?
541 00:22:32 You win it, you keep it.
542 00:22:33 Okay, you know what, fuck book club!
543 00:22:35 Fuck book club!
544 00:22:36 On these notes,
545 00:22:38 let the games of chance begin!
546 00:22:40 - Yeah!-(ALL CHEERING)
547 00:22:48 (CHUCKLES) All right, man.
548 00:22:50 Hit me right now!
549 00:22:51 Hit it!
550 00:22:53 Hit it down right there!
551 00:22:54 And I lost!
552 00:22:56 All right! Mama like!
553 00:22:58 FRANK". Now, we don't have five yearsto make the money.
554 00:23:01 We only have a month.
555 00:23:02 So, we have to reinvest our winnings.
556 00:23:04 It's like I always say,
557 00:23:06 “Back your own horse, baby.Bet on yourself."
558 00:23:09 We gotta invite everybody.
559 00:23:11 Even Garvey and fucking Craig!
560 00:23:14 (EXCITED CHATTER)
561 00:23:17 Oh, did Iwin? That's fun. (CHUCKLING)
562 00:23:19 I never played before. isn't that funny?
563 00:23:22 COME: Anybody been to that Burrito Hutover on Fox Meadow Lane?
564 00:23:26 - Yeah, it's a nightmare.-(LAUGHING)
565 00:23:28 You can'! evenget a burrito out of there.
566 00:23:30 People are getting so involved,they had to put a spit guard up
567 00:23:34 because people kept fallinginto the vegetables.
568 00:23:38 "More com! I want more corn!"
569 00:23:46 -(GASPS)-(CHEERING)
570 00:23:53 KATE". So, where are we at'?
571 00:23:55 FRANK". As! right.
572 00:23:57 When all's said and done,
573 00:23:58 we are... (LAUGHS)
574 00:24:01 Down $3,500.
575 00:24:02 - BOTH: Yeah!- Nice!
576 00:24:04 - Wait.- Up top!
577 00:24:06 - Down?- Wait...
578 00:24:07 Listen, Reggie went on a streak,
579 00:24:08 that comedian was very expensive.
580 00:24:10 We're lucky that Joe lost that$1 ,000 bet at the end.
581 00:24:13 If he hadn't, you knowwhere we'd be then.
582 00:24:16 - Mmm-mmm. Where would we be?Really?
583 00:24:18 We'd be down $5,500. It's simple math.
584 00:24:20 Math gives him anxiety,numbers make him nervous.
585 00:24:23 A lot of people, you know,break out in sweats
586 00:24:25 and have heart palpitationswhen they hear numbers out loud.
587 00:24:28 That's not true at all.
588 00:24:29 But, you know what,let's not worry about that.
589 00:24:31 Let's just focus on the positives,which is, down $3,500 is a great start.
590 00:24:36 - Ooh. Bucknell.- Ooh. What's this?
591 00:24:39 SCOTT: 50 million dollars?
592 00:24:42 KATE". Thousand, honey.
593 00:24:44 -(SCOTT EXHALES)- Oh, God.
594 00:24:46 - My butt just got so tig ht.- Yeah.
595 00:24:48 - Hey, what's that?- SCOTT: Hey.
596 00:24:50 - What? Hey.- Nothing.
597 00:24:53 We gotta get a bell on you.
598 00:24:54 Sneaking up on us like that.-(LAUGHS) Yeah.
599 00:24:58 And so that's why your mother and Iwill be working late
600 00:25:02 every night,
601 00:25:05 and on weekends for all of next month.
602 00:25:09 Because you're working ona super top secret project
603 00:25:13 that you may or may notreveal to me later.
604 00:25:15 Mmm-hmm. Yes, exactly, you get it.
605 00:25:17 No, but I don't get it.You're just being weird.
606 00:25:20 You're acting weird.
607 00:25:22 With your shifty eyesand your sketchy posture.
608 00:25:25 So"? -
609 00:25:26 Doesn't feel goodto be called names, does it? Weirdo.
610 00:25:29 I thought we'd hang out a lotthis summer.
611 00:25:31 Are we still going school shopping?
612 00:25:33 Yes! Absolutely, we're gonnado all of those things.
613 00:25:36 While you work every nightuntil 3:00 am?
614 00:25:38 SCOTT: You know what?
615 00:25:39 You're kind of acting likea (MOUTHS) bitch.
616 00:25:42 What did you just say?
617 00:25:44 I didn't say it.
618 00:25:46 - I didn't vocalize it.- Mom?
619 00:25:48 If it walks like a duckand talks like a duck, it's probably a...
620 00:25:51 (QUIETLY) Bitch.
621 00:25:52 You just said "bitch."You just called me a bitch.
622 00:25:54 Don't say that word.
623 00:25:56 I just can't help but feellike you're lying.
624 00:25:58 (BOTH LAUGH)
625 00:26:02 Oh, my God!
626 00:26:04 This is what I wanted to show you guys.Pretty beautiful, right?
627 00:26:07 Not really.
628 00:26:08 It's Thomas Kinkade, Master of Light.
629 00:26:11 - It's mesmerizing.- Yeah.
630 00:26:12 But it's, oh, so much more.
631 00:26:16 - Oh!- Whoa!
632 00:26:18 Crafty hiding spot, Frank.
633 00:26:20 Each of these safes holds 100 grand.
634 00:26:23 I know, because I out paper intomoney-size stacks and I checked.
635 00:26:27 It took an incredibly long time.
636 00:26:29 Now, if we fill all five safes,that's 500 grand.
637 00:26:33 250 for you, 250 for me.
638 00:26:35 You guys can put Alex through college,
639 00:26:37 and I can get my life back on track.
640 00:26:39 Let's fill these fucking safes.
641 00:26:41 (EXCITED CHATTER)
642 00:26:45 Wow.
643 00:26:46 Looks like we got someheavy action tonight.
644 00:26:48 Yeah, Reggie winning was the best thingthat could have happened to us.
645 00:26:51 People actually thinkthey can win money at this place.
646 00:26:54 We're giving people hope.
647 00:26:55 There's at least one, two, three, four...
648 00:27:00 There's at least 800 peoplein here tonight.
649 00:27:02 There are, max, 35 people in this room.
650 00:27:09 (ALL CHEERING)
651 00:27:13 REGGIE: You got a 19!
652 00:27:15 GARVEY: H! take advice from the guywho's down four grand.
653 00:27:17 - Is that what I'm supposed to do?- REGGIE: Just leave.
654 00:27:19 Please, will you leave, so we can all win?
655 00:27:21 - Hey, hey, hey.- We could all win if you leave.
656 00:27:24 SCOTT: Fellas, come on. What's the beef?
657 00:27:26 How can we squash it?
658 00:27:27 This bo-bo here keeps hittingon the worst hands.
659 00:27:30 I play how I play.You don't like it, you leave.
660 00:27:32 REGGIE: And he's a thief.
661 00:27:33 Where's my leaf blower, Garvey?
662 00:27:35 I just thought maybeyou'd wanna rake a little bit more.
663 00:27:37 You know, get some physical activity,on account of you being fat.
664 00:27:40 - Hey, hey! Okay! Time out!-(ANGRY YELLING)
665 00:27:42 Gentlemen, time out! Time out!
666 00:27:44 You're 8
667 00:27:45 - GARVEY: Come on!-(CROWD GASPS)
668 00:27:47 (GROANS) Right in my armpit!It's such a sensitive area.
669 00:27:50 - My gland.- I'll squash the shit out of you!
670 00:27:53 They'll be peeling you off the ground,you sackless bitch.
671 00:27:55 CRAIG: I'll bet 100 bucks on Reggie.
672 00:27:56 He's gonna kick Garvey's ass!
673 00:27:58 I will call that bet, sir.
674 00:28:00 There is fear in Reggie's eyes.I know a pussy when I see one.
675 00:28:03 Only when you're looking down.
676 00:28:05 Reggie, we got this.
677 00:28:06 - Eat shit, Garvey.- That's right.
678 00:28:08 Laura, you wanna keep your mouth shut?You got a big fucking mouth.
679 00:28:11 There's a StairMaster downstairs.
680 00:28:13 Why don't you go stand next to itand do nothing?
681 00:28:15 You want a piece of these thighs?You don't know what's coming.
682 00:28:17 -(YELLING)- Everybody, shut the fuck up!
683 00:28:21 Nobody is betting on this fight.
684 00:28:23 - Thank you, Frank.- LAURA: What?
685 00:28:24 - Come on.- SCOTT: Yes.
686 00:28:26 Unless you're betting with us!
687 00:28:28 Damn skippy. Damn skippy.That's right, I'm gonna...
688 00:28:31 (LAUGHS)
689 00:28:33 We're gonna bet on our friends fighting?
690 00:28:35 Hell, yeah! Are you kidding?We're a casino.
691 00:28:37 Have you ever heard of Fight Night?This is the same thing.
692 00:28:40 Get yourjuices in there.
693 00:28:41 Come on, Scott, these guys willbeat the shit out of each other anyway.
694 00:28:44 These dildos are gonna bet on it.
695 00:28:46 We should be getting that action.We're the house!
696 00:28:48 - Honey.,.- Hey! Who wants a fight?
697 00:28:51 - Can't wait!- FRANK: Can't wait!
698 00:28:53 - Who wants fight? Say, "Hey!“- ALL: Hey!
699 00:28:55 - Here we go, fight!- Here we go!
700 00:28:57 (ALL CHEERING)
701 00:29:01 - And we're gonna start a race war!- ALL: Whoa! Whoa!
702 00:29:04 Reggie, Reggie, that makes us nervous.
703 00:29:07 This is just a fight between two menof different races,
704 00:29:11 fighting each other to decidewhich race is superior.
705 00:29:14 - ALL: Whoa!- Nope, that sounds wrong.
706 00:29:16 - Black power!-(BELL DINGS)
707 00:29:26 Welcome to Fight Night!
708 00:29:29 (CHEERING)
709 00:29:32 In the comer closest to the fireplace,weighing in at 220 pounds,
710 00:29:37 Reggie "The Rocket” Whaler!
711 00:29:42 (CHEERING)
712 00:29:50 And in this comer'
713 00:29:53 weighing in at 180 pounds,
714 00:29:55 give it up for Kevin "I Didn't KnowHis First Name Was Kevin“ Garvey!
715 00:30:02 (CHEERING)
716 00:30:04 Now, murder each other!
717 00:30:06 (CROWD CHEERING)
718 00:30:14 (GROANS)
719 00:30:20 Wow. That was fast.
720 00:30:26 - Reggie is the winner!-(CROWD CHEERING)
721 00:30:31 This is bullshit. I want my money back.
722 00:30:33 Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
723 00:30:34 Laura, why don't you shovethat chicken dinner right up your asshole?
724 00:30:37 And then bring it to my potluck.
725 00:30:39 For the love of God,if you bring up that potluck again--
726 00:30:41 Ladies, uh-uh! Cool yourjets!
727 00:30:46 Yeah.
728 00:30:48 Save it for the ring!
729 00:30:50 (ALL CHEERING)
730 00:31:18 -(GRUNTS)-(GROANS)
731 00:31:20 Mmm!- Oh!
732 00:31:22 What's my name? I'm Martha!
733 00:31:25 (ALL CHEERING)
734 00:31:29 (GROWLS)
735 00:31:40 Yes, come on. Fight!
736 00:31:42 (YELLING)
737 00:31:46 FRANK: (LAUGHS) Yeah!
738 00:31:48 Fuck you, Craig!
739 00:31:51 I don't know why I love this so much!
740 00:31:53 (BOTH GRUNTING)
741 00:31:56 (SCREAMING)
742 00:31:58 Eat her fucking face off, Martha!
743 00:32:03 (GROANS)
744 00:32:08 (GRUNTING)
745 00:32:11 (SCREAMING)
746 00:32:28 -(GROANS)- Oh, oh!
747 00:32:29 She doored her!
748 00:32:36 (YELLS)
749 00:32:40 CROWDI Oh!
750 00:32:43 (GROANS)
751 00:32:46 (BOTH GROAN)
752 00:32:49 REGGIEI Oh!
753 00:32:51 Double knockout'?
754 00:32:55 Wait a minute,wait a minute, wait a minute.
755 00:32:57 What does that mean'?
756 00:32:58 Okay, the good news is we don'thave a prop bet to cover that,
757 00:33:01 -so the house wins everything!-(CHEERING)
758 00:33:04 (JEERING)
759 00:33:23 (UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)
760 00:33:40 - I'm feeling pretty good.- Yeah, me, too.
761 00:33:42 Can I talk to you in the laundry roomfor a second?
762 00:33:47 (BOTH MOANING)
763 00:33:51 This is why I'm not worriedabout next year.
764 00:33:53 No. Not in the least.
765 00:33:59 Is this a real microscope?
766 00:34:01 Yeah, dude. You can get highand look at ants at the same time.
767 00:34:04 (LAUGHING)
768 00:34:05 (SCOTT AND KATE LAUGHING)
769 00:34:09 We never walk at night.
770 00:34:11 So nice to walk.
771 00:34:12 So beautiful.
772 00:34:14 I drive everywhere.It's just nice to get out--
773 00:34:16 Excuse me. Beep-beep.
774 00:34:17 - Beep-beep.-(BOTH CHUCKLE)
775 00:34:19 Hey, Ow. Hey.
776 00:34:20 - Hey.- Ow. Hey. Ow.
777 00:34:22 - Ow.-(BOTH CHUCKLE)
778 00:34:25 - I'm gonna pee outside.- What?
779 00:34:26 I'm gonna take a pee outside.
780 00:34:27 - What are you doing?- I'm gonna do it.
781 00:34:30 What, are you kidding? Come on.
782 00:34:32 (BOTH LAUGHING)
783 00:34:36 - She's doing it.- Yes! Yes!
784 00:34:38 You're so good at it.
785 00:34:39 This is the real me!
786 00:34:40 YES.
787 00:34:42 Yes!
788 00:34:43 (LAUGHS)
789 00:34:44 "Pee Outside" Kate is back!
790 00:34:47 You do it. You're doing it.
791 00:34:49 This is my lawn.
792 00:34:50 - You're a woman.- This is my lawn.
793 00:34:52 God, you got a lot of pee-pee.
794 00:34:55 - Oh, shit!- What?
795 00:34:57 Fuck, it's my parents!
796 00:34:59 God damn it! Quick!
797 00:35:01 (GRUNTS)
798 00:35:04 -(BOTH PANTING)- Is she still looking?
799 00:35:05 Guys, I'm feeling, like,really nervous right now.
800 00:35:08 You want some weed?
801 00:35:09 We can totally go talk to herlike regular people.
802 00:35:12 How drunk are you'?
803 00:35:14 (SLURRING) I'm fine.
804 00:35:15 How many fingers do I have up?
805 00:35:17 Don't do that.
806 00:35:18 Who's the president'?
807 00:35:20 The president'?
808 00:35:21 Bah...
809 00:35:23 - Ba-Obama.- Mmm-hmm.
810 00:35:25 The back, the back, they nevercome in through the back.
811 00:35:28 We'll just sneak through there.
812 00:35:29 We'll go around the back.
813 00:35:31 - Yeah. No, we nevergo through the back.- Let's do it.
814 00:35:33 - Go.- Go.
815 00:35:41 (YELLING)
816 00:35:43 What are you doing?
817 00:35:45 Sorry. I'm so high.
818 00:35:51 The coast is clear.
819 00:35:55 (KATE AND SCOTT GIGGLING)
820 00:35:58 (RATTLING)
821 00:36:00 - Oh! Do you hear something?- Oh! What is it? Raccoons'?
822 00:36:02 KATE". It sounds human.
823 00:36:03 - Go.- Okay.
824 00:36:07 (SCOTT AND KATE SIGH)
825 00:36:10 (ALL SCREAMING)
826 00:36:14 (ALL SCREAMING)
827 00:36:18 KATE: It's good. Rachel--
828 00:36:19 SCOTT: It's Rachel.KATE: Rachel and Alex. Hey!
829 00:36:22 - Hey!- Alex.
830 00:36:24 - Hey!- Hey!
831 00:36:25 What's up, guys'?
832 00:36:28 I got them.
833 00:36:30 Sorry. Sorry, Rachel.
834 00:36:32 Alex sandwich.
835 00:36:35 ALEX: Oh, God.
836 00:36:36 (ALL MOANING)
837 00:36:38 SCOTT: Aw, sweetie.
838 00:36:40 You guys have fun tonight?
839 00:36:42 ALEX: Great hug.
840 00:36:43 KATE: Okay, this went great. We're fine.
841 00:36:45 Night-night.
842 00:36:46 I'm gonna go pee.
843 00:36:50 And I'm good.
844 00:36:54 KATE: Oh, God.
845 00:36:56 Oh, God.
846 00:36:59 (SIGHS)
847 00:37:05 (RETCHING)
848 00:37:11 KATE: Oh, God.
849 00:37:13 Good thing it's a container store.
850 00:37:15 There's containers everywhere.
851 00:37:22 Honey?
852 00:37:24 SCOTT: Yeah. Pmjust gonna lie down.Check some emails.
853 00:37:30 Um...
854 00:37:31 Fuck.
855 00:37:33 (WHISTLES)
856 00:37:38 (YELLS)
857 00:37:41 EXCUSE me one second.
858 00:37:46 Oh...
859 00:37:47 Raina'?
860 00:37:49 You're the Raina of Raina's Hair Salon?
861 00:37:51 Okay, what are you doing here?You got the divorce papers?
862 00:37:54 Listen, I'm onto something big.
863 00:37:55 - Oh, God.- Okay?
864 00:37:57 No' and it's not some harebrained schemethat I cooked up with my friends.
865 00:38:00 - I'm gonna get the house back...- Cool.
866 00:38:01 And we're not gonna need to get divorced.
867 00:38:02 It's not gonna need to even happen.I'm gonna make it up to you.
868 00:38:05 - Are you gambling again?- What?
869 00:38:07 - Is that what this is?- No, no.
870 00:38:08 - You gambling again?- No. And in fact...
871 00:38:10 - Uh-huh.- I'm not gambling.
872 00:38:15 Why'd you say it like that'?
873 00:38:16 What do you mean?
874 00:38:18 No. Sorry, I'm just saying,in terms of gambling...
875 00:38:20 - Yeah.- People might be doing it, but I'm not.
876 00:38:23 You just did it again.
877 00:38:24 What? I'm not gambling.
878 00:38:26 -"I'm not gambling"?- Yeah, that's right.
879 00:38:28 All right, I'm not gonna argue with you.
880 00:38:29 - You look nice.- Oh, thanks.
881 00:38:31 Well, you smell good.I mean, you look good.
882 00:38:33 - What? Okay. No, yeah.- I mean, you're nice.
883 00:38:34 (LAUGHS) I'm not doing this.
884 00:38:36 Just because you've showeredand you look great,
885 00:38:40 it doesn't mean you've changed.
886 00:38:44 (CHUCKLES)
887 00:38:46 Yes! Yes! Yes!
888 00:38:49 (LAUGHS)
889 00:38:50 FRANK: You might notice that I've madesome Vegas-style upgrades.
890 00:38:54 Welcome to Club Ooze.
891 00:38:56 Because what does every casino need
892 00:38:58 but a kick-ass pool.
893 00:38:59 You're done gambling,what are you gonna do'? Go home? No.
894 00:39:02 You're gonna come out here,get a drink, party in the pool,
895 00:39:05 and then back inside to lose more money.
896 00:39:08 How much did all of this cost?
897 00:39:09 You know that old saying,"Spend money to make money."
898 00:39:12 Hmm.
899 00:39:13 Now, this I'm very excited about.
900 00:39:15 - Oh, wow.- These are pure oxygen tanks.
901 00:39:18 I'm pumping it into the house,and guess what?
902 00:39:21 It works.
903 00:39:23 Welcome to the relaxation zone.
904 00:39:25 We've got a nail salon,we've got massages, shiatsu,
905 00:39:29 deep tissue and hand jobs.
906 00:39:37 Bob...
907 00:39:39 I think we really need to start.
908 00:39:42 I'll start when everyone's here.
909 00:39:43 - Stop it.- What?
910 00:39:48 Where is everyone, Laura?
911 00:39:50 Nowhere. Why do youthink they're somewhere?
912 00:39:52 Why are you wearing sunglassesin town hall?
913 00:39:55 'Cause
914 00:39:57 my future's so bright.
915 00:39:58 Well, I find it highly disrespectful.
916 00:40:01 Would you please remove the sunglasses?
917 00:40:04 - Fine.- BOB: Ugh.
918 00:40:05 Oh, my God.
919 00:40:08 What happened?
920 00:40:10 This looks way worse than it is.
921 00:40:12 What are you hiding, Laura?
922 00:40:13 What's that face?
923 00:40:15 - You wanna fight me, Bob?- What?
924 00:40:17 Is that what this is about, Bob?
925 00:40:18 'Cause H! tell you right now,
926 00:40:20 I'll headbutt you to next Tuesday, bitch!
927 00:40:23 (CHUCKLING)
928 00:40:25 - Well ...- Okay.
929 00:40:26 This town hall meeting is suspended
930 00:40:28 until I find out what's going onaround town, all right?
931 00:40:34 -(EXCITED CHEERING)-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
932 00:41:16 BOB: I can't believe no one showed upat the goddamn meeting.
933 00:41:19 And I was going to announce
934 00:41:20 that Panera was openinga location on Butler Ave.
935 00:41:23 Panera Bread?
936 00:41:26 Wow. Great get, Bob.
937 00:41:28 (SIGHS)
938 00:41:29 My God, you do so much for this town.
939 00:41:31 It's a 2417 job. But I love it.
940 00:41:34 Plus, means I get to spendmore time with you.
941 00:41:38 $109-
942 00:41:39 - What?- Stop it.
943 00:41:46 Were you guys holding hands?
944 00:41:47 Oh, yeah. We were holding hands,Chandler, you know why?
945 00:41:50 - Yeah.-'Cause we're having an affair.
946 00:41:51 (LAUGHS) Yeah.
947 00:41:52 Nine and a half months,emotional and physical.
948 00:41:54 Yep. He knows about allmy hopes and dreams.
949 00:41:57 I plead with her to leave her husband,
950 00:41:59 but in reality,I would be sort of scared if she did.
951 00:42:03 That's so specific.
952 00:42:04 It just sounds like it's true.
953 00:42:07 No, there's nothinggoing on with us, Chandler.
954 00:42:09 But there is somethinggoing on in this town.
955 00:42:11 I've been noticing a lot of crazy shitgoing on in this town.
956 00:42:13 Over at Taylor's Meat Market at night,the parking lot is really crowded.
957 00:42:17 Maybe there's some flank steaksthat are starting a gang over there.
958 00:42:21 - Looks like a pork chop prostitution ring.-(BOTH LAUGHING)
959 00:42:24 - Now leave, so we can have sex. (LAUGHS)- Yeah.
960 00:42:30 Okay, I'll get the blinds.But make it quick.
961 00:42:33 (APPLAUSE)
962 00:42:38 (CHEERING)
963 00:42:41 How are we looking tonight?
964 00:42:42 Garvey caught a heater in blackjack,but we're killing it in roulette.
965 00:42:46 Good call hiring that Judy, by the way,
966 00:42:48 she destroys people.
967 00:42:50 - She's a bad-ass bitch.- Hi, Judy.
968 00:42:54 You're very smart with this stuff.
969 00:42:55 - Very shrewd.-(KATE CHUCKLES)
970 00:42:58 - Where'd you get that?- This?
971 00:43:01 Joe gave it to me.Some sticky-icky hybrid.
972 00:43:03 It chills me the fuck out. You want some?
973 00:43:05 No. No, I'm good. Maybe later.
974 00:43:07 I gotta stay vigilant.Keep my eye on the prize.
975 00:43:10 Yeah. Weed is so great, you know?
976 00:43:12 When I smoke ii, lfeel nothing.It's like emotional armor, man.
977 00:43:17 Alex is gone next year, who cares'?
978 00:43:19 I got weed.
979 00:43:22 - And me.- And you, yes.
980 00:43:24 Guys, we've got a problem.
981 00:43:26 Table four, third guy from the left.
982 00:43:29 This motherfucker right hereis counting cards.
983 00:43:31 How do you know?
984 00:43:32 If I'm gonna accuse someone of cheating,I wanna be sure.
985 00:43:38 (SCOTT GASPS)
986 00:43:40 - He's cheating.- Yeah.
987 00:43:41 - He's definitely cheating.- That's so rude.
988 00:43:43 If people think you cancome in here and cheat,
989 00:43:45 the street is gonna think we're soft.
990 00:43:47 Yeah. Every Blackjack Barry
991 00:43:49 and Roulette Rob'sgonna think it's open season.
992 00:43:50 We gotta do something to send a message.
993 00:43:52 - Yep.- Like De Niro in Casino.
994 00:43:54 Didn't he break that guy's handwith a hammer?
995 00:43:58 Yeah.
996 00:44:01 Hmm.
997 00:44:03 - Okay.- Yeah.
998 00:44:04 Yeah.
999 00:44:05 - All right. Okay.- Yeah.
1000 00:44:11 Kazowee! (LAUGHS)
1001 00:44:14 Excuse me, can we havea word with you, please?
1002 00:44:16 Yeah, I'd love anotherGrey Goose on the rocks, extra lime.
1003 00:44:20 Come on, let's go. Let's go.
1004 00:44:23 Enjoy your gambling.
1005 00:44:24 - Get in here.- All right, okay.
1006 00:44:25 - Get in here!- Watch the jacket.
1007 00:44:26 - Sit down!- Sit down!
1008 00:44:28 You think you can cheat us'!
1009 00:44:30 You think you can steal our money?
1010 00:44:32 I got lucky.
1011 00:44:33 I didn't know it was illegalto catch a hot streak.
1012 00:44:36 Well, your luck just ran out, man,
1013 00:44:37 because me and my friendsabout to fuck you up!
1014 00:44:40 FRANK: Yeah!SCOTT: Hey, pal.
1015 00:44:42 You better call your mama,
1016 00:44:43 and tell her you're gonnabe late for dinner.
1017 00:44:45 Which is a shame,'cause she's serving your favorite,
1018 00:44:47 coconut shrimps!
1019 00:44:48 Hey, you're gonna miss dinner, bitch!
1020 00:44:50 We had your mom's shrimp last night.
1021 00:44:52 - Yeah!-It was delicious!
1022 00:44:54 What are you guysgonna do about it anyway?
1023 00:44:55 You're a bunch of soccer moms.
1024 00:44:57 You ever hear of Tommy Papouli?He's my boss.
1025 00:45:00 You know what? Fuck this guy.
1026 00:45:02 And fuck Tommy whoever.
1027 00:45:03 I'd like to introduce youto my friend, Mr. Vice.
1028 00:45:06 How does that feel'?
1029 00:45:07 - Yeah, I got it.- Coat's coming off, bitch!
1030 00:45:10 - SCOTT: Coming off!- ALL: Oh!
1031 00:45:17 You taking yourjacket back to Marshall's?(LAUGHS)
1032 00:45:22 Oh, shit!
1033 00:45:23 I'm gonna get me a chunk of flesh.
1034 00:45:25 Yeah! Yeah, maybe we'll cutyour fucking dick off.
1035 00:45:28 - Oh, shit!-(ALL CHEERING)
1036 00:45:30 Oh, shit!
1037 00:45:31 This shit just got real, bro!
1038 00:45:33 I'm so scared. (LAUGHS)
1039 00:45:35 - You're looking at a bad man.- SCOTT: Ooh.
1040 00:45:37 - This motherfucker don't give a shit.- Yep.
1041 00:45:40 This axe is burning a hole in my pocket.
1042 00:45:41 KATE". What are we doing?
1043 00:45:43 Can we just conferenceon what we're doing?
1044 00:45:44 We're gonna... Just you wait.
1045 00:45:46 SCOTT: Hold on.
1046 00:45:47 We need to focus upand figure out what we're gonna do.
1047 00:45:49 Honey, are you still stoned?
1048 00:45:50 What? Yes!
1049 00:45:51 FRANK: lam also stonedand nothing is more clear
1050 00:45:54 than the fact thatwe need to murder this guy.
1051 00:45:56 Just to be clear,we're pretending, though,
1052 00:45:57 we're not gonna actually do that.
1053 00:45:59 We have to send a message, okay?We have to send a message.
1054 00:46:01 Yeah!
1055 00:46:03 You're bluffing.
1056 00:46:04 (LAUGHS) You're not gonna do shit.
1057 00:46:07 You're not gonna do jack shit,Paul Bunyan.
1058 00:46:10 - He's a jerk!- He's making it easy.
1059 00:46:11 You know what? I'm gonna do this.
1060 00:46:13 - I'm gonna do this.- Hey, hey, hey, hold on.
1061 00:46:15 - Fuck off! You're not gonna do shit.- No, I'm gonna...
1062 00:46:18 Tommy's gonna kick your fucking ass.
1063 00:46:19 Fuck you!
1064 00:46:21 - Don't wrestle with the fucking axe!- Fuck you all!
1065 00:46:24 (SCREAMS)
1066 00:46:26 (FRANK AND SCOTT YELLING)
1067 00:46:29 Oh, God! Oh' God! Oh, God!
1068 00:46:30 Shut the fuck up, Frank!
1069 00:46:31 - FRANK: Put it back on! Put it back on!- I'm trying to find it!
1070 00:46:34 I'm trying to find it!
1071 00:46:35 - Oh, my Gocl. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.- KATE: Shut up!
1072 00:46:38 Apply pressure, man.
1073 00:46:39 - Please, apply pressure.- I'm trying!
1074 00:46:41 -(SOBBING) It's so slippery!-(SCREAMING)
1075 00:46:43 It won't fit on! It won't fit back on!
1076 00:46:45 Honey, please get it on.
1077 00:46:46 I don't know if it's up or down.
1078 00:46:47 Does anyone have any gum?
1079 00:46:50 I'm just gonna put it right there,maybe it'll grow back.
1080 00:46:52 - FRAN K: Oh, God!- Oh, my God, the blood!
1081 00:46:54 Could this help?
1082 00:46:56 - Put that Croc on there.-(SHRIEKS)
1083 00:46:58 (MUFFLED SCREAMING)
1084 00:47:00 So salty! I'm swallowing so much blood!
1085 00:47:02 - You cutoff my fucking finger!-(FRANK AND KATE SCREAMING)
1086 00:47:05 What the fuck just happened?
1087 00:47:07 Tell your friends, if they mess with us,this is what... (GAGS) They're gonna get.
1088 00:47:17 (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
1089 00:47:28 Nothing ever happensin this neighborhood.
1090 00:47:31 -(FRANK SCREAMS)-(ALL GASP)
1091 00:47:32 (MUFFLED YELLING)
1092 00:47:33 -(GROWLS)-(ALL GASP)
1093 00:47:39 (GRUNTING)
1094 00:47:41 Oh.
1095 00:47:43 -(GRUNTING)-(GASPS)
1096 00:47:48 Sweetheart!-(SCOTT YELLING)
1097 00:47:50 FRANK: Scott?KATE". Where are you going?
1098 00:47:51 FRANK: Where ave you going?Don't go in there, buddy!
1099 00:47:57 (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1100 00:48:04 (GRUNTS)
1101 00:48:39 No, I swear to God, I'm looking, Reggie.I'm not finding it.
1102 00:48:42 In my experience, money lost in the woodsdoes not easily get found.
1103 00:48:46 Oh, fuck. Oh! (LAUGHS)
1104 00:48:49 Buddy, great news.
1105 00:48:51 - Excuse me, sir?- I'll call you back.
1106 00:48:53 What are you doing out here?
1107 00:48:55 Um... Uh...
1108 00:49:01 Jogging-
1109 00:49:02 You don't appear to be jogging.
1110 00:49:05 Well, now you're jogging.
1111 00:49:06 You caught me in a cooldown.
1112 00:49:08 What'd you put in your pocket?
1113 00:49:10 Very slowly.
1114 00:49:11 Very slowly with the hand, sir.Very slowly, take it out of your pocket.
1115 00:49:14 Okay, Officer. (CHUCKLES)
1116 00:49:16 I think, earlier, you just saw meput this phone in my pocket,
1117 00:49:20 which is now videotaping you.
1118 00:49:23 I don't feel safe, I don't feel safe.
1119 00:49:25 I am Frank Theodorakis.
1120 00:49:27 I don't feel safe in the woods,the police are harassing me.
1121 00:49:29 Hello, everyone, I'm Officer Chandler,
1122 00:49:31 and I'm here protectingas well as sewing.
1123 00:49:35 What are you, like, doing a PSA?
1124 00:49:36 Well, if you're filming this.
1125 00:49:38 Look at you, you put your handson your hips immediately.
1126 00:49:40 You look ridiculous.
1127 00:49:41 I will end you!
1128 00:49:43 I will end your Hie!
1129 00:49:44 Whoa! Whoa, man!
1130 00:49:46 I'm sorry that I said that everyone,
1131 00:49:49 and l...
1132 00:49:51 am gonna...
1133 00:49:52 What's that?I'm gonna respond to this call.
1134 00:49:54 What call? Nothing happened.It didn't say anything.
1135 00:49:56 There's a disturbance in the force.
1136 00:49:59 There's a disturbancein the police force.
1137 00:50:14 (GASPS)
1138 00:50:16 -(SHRIEKS)- Dad. What...
1139 00:50:19 Dad, it's just...
1140 00:50:20 Ifsjust, it's good... Dad!
1141 00:50:22 Don't touch 'em!
1142 00:50:24 Hey, did you see the game?
1143 00:50:28 (YELLS)
1144 00:50:30 Stay away from the meat section!
1145 00:50:33 FRANK: Hey, there you are.
1146 00:50:35 Everybody's looking for you downstairs.What's going on'?
1147 00:50:38 .H6Y-- H9Y-
1148 00:50:41 - So many buttholes, so little time, huh?- Yeah.
1149 00:50:44 You okay, man?You seem a little off today.
1150 00:50:47 (SIGHS) I don't know.Somethings changed, Frank.
1151 00:50:50 I chopped a man's finger off.
1152 00:50:52 And ever since that moment,I've just been barraged
1153 00:50:55 with a series ofanxiety-induced hallucinations.
1154 00:50:59 They're hallucinations. They're not real.
1155 00:51:03 You know what is real'?
1156 00:51:08 This is real.
1157 00:51:10 This is real.
1158 00:51:11 This is real.
1159 00:51:13 And this is real.
1160 00:51:14 And do you know whereall that money came from?
1161 00:51:17 - Hmm.- From you.
1162 00:51:19 You chopped that guy's finger off,and the whole town became afraid.
1163 00:51:23 You know whatthey're calling you on the street?
1164 00:51:25 - Uh-uh.- The Butcher.
1165 00:51:26 They're so afraid of us,
1166 00:51:28 people are starting to give usthe money they owe us. (CHUCKLES)
1167 00:51:31 I didn't know people owed us money.
1168 00:51:33 Oh, I've been extending lines of creditto all of our high rollers.
1169 00:51:37 All the casinos do it.It's not a big deal.
1170 00:51:38 Frank, you didn't tell me that.
1171 00:51:41 And that's a huge decision.
1172 00:51:42 You need 10 let Kate and Ibe a part of that.
1173 00:51:44 It's a moot point now, okay? It's done.
1174 00:51:46 Everybody's afraid thatyou're gonna take them into the garage,
1175 00:51:49 and chop some pieceof their body off. All right?
1176 00:51:52 "The Butcher" is our identity.
1177 00:51:54 (KNOCK ON DOOR)
1178 00:51:56 - Come on in.- Hey.
1179 00:51:58 - Hey, Reggie.- Do you guys mind if I...
1180 00:52:00 - Come on in, Reggie.- REGGIE: Okay.
1181 00:52:02 Hi, uh, Frank. Scott.
1182 00:52:06 Here's that...
1183 00:52:08 Here's that money I owe you.I'm sorry it's so late.
1184 00:52:11 - Reggie' don't worry about it. It's fine.- FRANK: Hey.
1185 00:52:13 You sure about that, Butcher?You happy about that?
1186 00:52:16 Imean...
1187 00:52:18 Don't let it happen again.
1188 00:52:21 Yeah, you bitch!
1189 00:52:23 You little bitch!
1190 00:52:25 Hey, Butch, you want meto go get your axe?
1191 00:52:27 Yeah, so I can cut me offa piece of bitch meat.
1192 00:52:30 No, I don't want the axe.
1193 00:52:31 Hey, Frank, this feelsa little light to me.
1194 00:52:35 Uh-oh. Reggie, is everythingyou owe us in there?
1195 00:52:37 I counted it myself.
1196 00:52:38 Maybe I should count it.
1197 00:52:40 - Oh. Are you gonna count it?- I don't think...
1198 00:52:42 FRANK: Oh. Uh-Oh.
1199 00:52:44 Are you okay?
1200 00:52:45 - I'll handle the counting.- Okay.
1201 00:52:47 - Get out of here, Reggie!- Okay.
1202 00:52:49 Tell your friendswhat you saw here, Reggie.
1203 00:52:50 so"? -
1204 00:52:52 -(DOOR CLOSES)- That was amazing!
1205 00:52:54 Did you see how scared he got'?
1206 00:52:55 Yeah! How did that feel'?
1207 00:52:57 -It felt good.- Yeah.
1208 00:53:00 Yeah, it felt real good.
1209 00:53:12 Hello, Gary.
1210 00:53:13 I understand you havean overdue library book.
1211 00:53:15 (GARY GROANING)
1212 00:53:18 No! No!
1213 00:53:22 KATE: Come here. Come here.
1214 00:53:24 FRANK: Pay your debts!
1215 00:53:26 FRANK: Get out of the way!SCOTT: Hi, Crystal!
1216 00:53:33 - Where's our money?- Give it to us!
1217 00:53:35 - FRANK: You piece of shit!- Give us the money!
1218 00:53:37 No, no, no.
1219 00:53:38 (GROANING)
1220 00:53:40 (GRUNTS)
1221 00:53:44 - I'm tired of asking you, Eddie!- Eat it!
1222 00:53:46 Give us the money, Eddie!
1223 00:53:48 You don't wanna do this, Eddie!
1224 00:53:56 (HORN HONKING)
1225 00:54:00 FRANK: Get out of here!Just walk away, Angela!
1226 00:54:12 I'm the Butcher.
1227 00:54:13 And I'm the Burner.
1228 00:54:15 Why are you guys talking like that?Really low?
1229 00:54:17 'Cause we're cool now.
1230 00:54:19 Get on board.
1231 00:54:20 Okay. This is whatwe're doing from now on.
1232 00:54:23 KATE: It's weird when you do it.
1233 00:54:24 SCOTT: You sound like Cookie Monster.
1234 00:54:26 FRANK: Well, Cookie Monster wants somemotherfuckin' lobster.
1235 00:54:52 ALL: Oh! (LAUGHING)
1236 00:54:55 Madam Treasurer,there's something for you to sign.
1237 00:55:01 Aw, it's really nice.
1238 00:55:02 I can't accept that.How would I explain that to my husband?
1239 00:55:05 You can tell your husbandthat you're in love with me,
1240 00:55:07 and that we're gonna be together.
1241 00:55:09 - This is getting out of control, okay?- Yeah, it is.
1242 00:55:12 At first, it was giftsand trips and things,
1243 00:55:14 but I didn't know wherethe money was coming from.
1244 00:55:16 It was coming from me.
1245 00:55:18 Yeah, but you took it from the town.
1246 00:55:20 And that poor girl's scholarship?
1247 00:55:22 Come on. Look at thesebudget numbers, okay?
1248 00:55:25 We are 300 grand short.
1249 00:55:27 We're gonna get audited,and we're gonna lose our jobs.
1250 00:55:30 We're probably gonna go to jail, okay?
1251 00:55:32 Just stop.
1252 00:55:33 At first it... Stop. It was like...
1253 00:55:35 Stop, stop-
1254 00:55:36 Stop. Stop it.
1255 00:55:38 I think, next year, when Alex is gone,we do this every Tuesday night.
1256 00:55:42 - KATE: Yay! Cheers, team.- Ho0ray!
1257 00:55:44 - We look great.- SCOTT: We do.
1258 00:55:46 - We should dress like this every night.- Yeah.
1259 00:55:49 It's been a pretty tough year for me.
1260 00:55:51 And I just wanna say thank youto both of you.
1261 00:55:54 This might be the best night of my...
1262 00:55:57 - What?- What?
1263 00:55:59 KATE: (GASPS) Raina?
1264 00:56:01 SCOTT: Easy, tiger. It's okay.We knew this day would come. Okay?
1265 00:56:05 Scott, Kate, excuse me.
1266 00:56:07 I'm gonna go get my wife back.
1267 00:56:09 Hold on, buddy. Frank.
1268 00:56:11 Frank'?
1269 00:56:12 Hey, pal. There's no reservations...
1270 00:56:15 (GROANING)
1271 00:56:16 - FRANK: He's very strong!- Frank!
1272 00:56:19 (CROWD GASPS)
1273 00:56:20 FRANK: At least I have my dignity.(FARTING)
1274 00:56:23 I don't understand whyyou're talking to me.
1275 00:56:26 Go arrest that guy. He attacked me.
1276 00:56:28 Mr. Theodorakis, I talked to him.
1277 00:56:30 He said that you attacked him,and then you grabbed his man bun.
1278 00:56:33 What? I don't remember any of that.
1279 00:56:37 Officer Chandler, what's going on here?
1280 00:56:40 OFFICER CHANDLER: It's been a hell ofa night. I've gotten multiple reports
1281 00:56:43 of violence all over town,and no one's talking.
1282 00:56:46 Well, no one's talking 'causethere's nothing to talk about, so...
1283 00:56:50 (SHUSHING)
1284 00:56:53 - What's your deal, Johansen?- SCOTT: No deal.
1285 00:56:55 You got a deal, Bob?
1286 00:56:57 - No deal here.- Yeah.
1287 00:57:00 I would advise you to put that away.I'm a police officer.
1288 00:57:03 Don't worry about it.
1289 00:57:05 Check your marshmallows, fellas.
1290 00:57:07 No one says "check your marshmallows.“
1291 00:57:09 You wanna get fucked by a fire dick?
1292 00:57:12 OFFICER CHANDLER: No.
1293 00:57:13 - Then check your marshmallows.- SCOTT: Yeah.
1294 00:57:15 There's something fishygoing on with those three.
1295 00:57:17 - DAWN: Definitely.-(COOING)
1296 00:57:20 (EXCITED CHATTER)
1297 00:57:31 Are those women's sunglasses?
1298 00:57:33 No. They're Italian.
1299 00:57:36 And that's a woman's cigarette.That's nice.
1300 00:57:39 Also Italian.
1301 00:57:40 Italian sunglasses, Italian cigarettes.
1302 00:57:43 Okay. Ciao.
1303 00:57:51 Excuse me, what the hell is that?
1304 00:57:53 Craig ordered eggs, over-medium.
1305 00:57:55 No. Look at the yolks.
1306 00:57:56 Those are hard, that's not over-medium.Take it back.
1307 00:57:58 Scott, I'm really slammed right now.
1308 00:57:59 I don't give a shit, asshole.
1309 00:58:01 Take it back. All right, dick face?
1310 00:58:04 You're doing a great job.
1311 00:58:08 Hey, SEXY-
1312 00:58:10 Hey, baby. Looking good.
1313 00:58:11 Feeling better.
1314 00:58:14 (SMACKING)
1315 00:58:17 Hey, things are getting super weird.
1316 00:58:21 I just found a glory hole upstairs.
1317 00:58:23 Just a dick-sized hole in the middleof the wall that somebody made.
1318 00:58:26 You know how I knew?There was a dick hanging out of it.
1319 00:58:29 (ALL CHEERING)
1320 00:58:31 Who the hell are they?
1321 00:58:33 Oh, they're Wall Street guys.
1322 00:58:35 They're betting a lot of money.
1323 00:58:36 They're also doing a ton of blow.
1324 00:58:39 - Oh, yes!-(SNIFFING)
1325 00:58:45 This is Frank Theodorakis' house.
1326 00:58:47 And right through those woods,only 100 yards away
1327 00:58:50 is the parking lotto Taylor's Meat Market.
1328 00:58:53 Oh, right, the great meat conspiracy.
1329 00:59:00 Come on, man.
1330 00:59:01 Don't do blow on the table.It gets in the felt.
1331 00:59:04 Hey, we're betting 1,000 bucks a roll.
1332 00:59:06 H! do cocaine off of whatever I want.
1333 00:59:08 I'll do it off of that dumb wall sconceover there. Check this out.
1334 00:59:11 Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1335 00:59:14 (SNIFF$)
1336 00:59:15 Whoa!
1337 00:59:21 OFFICER CHANDLER: What the Shit?
1338 00:59:28 - Everybody, freeze! Police!-(PANICKED YELLING)
1339 00:59:32 Everybody, freeze! Respect my authority!
1340 00:59:36 No, no! Ne!
1341 00:59:38 No, freeze! You're not freezing!
1342 00:59:41 Freeze! Get on the ground.
1343 00:59:42 You will stop or get arrested.
1344 00:59:44 Do not inhale that!
1345 00:59:45 (SCREAMING)
1346 00:59:49 MY eves!
1347 00:59:54 BOB". Playing cards, huh?
1348 00:59:56 -(SIGHS)- For cash?
1349 00:59:58 That's illegal.
1350 00:59:59 - Li's for charity.- Yeah.
1351 01:00:01 - Yeah.- Good.
1352 01:00:03 Which charity?
1353 01:00:05 - Uh...- Uh... Horse circumcision.
1354 01:00:06 Money for psychic kids.
1355 01:00:08 Canada.
1356 01:00:09 Where's the money'?
1357 01:00:11 This is pointless.You're not gonna find anything anywhere.
1358 01:00:13 - Really?- Yeah.
1359 01:00:14 Well, we've looked inall of the other rooms, so...
1360 01:00:16 Chandler, take a look.
1361 01:00:18 (CLATTERING)
1362 01:00:20 - Hey, Scotty! Eyes up here, buddy.- Honey, don't point at that.
1363 01:00:23 SCOTT". Look how nervous the baby deer is.
1364 01:00:25 You guys seem pretty interestedin this painting, here.
1365 01:00:27 - Yeah.- We're not.
1366 01:00:29 The baby. The doe.
1367 01:00:31 FRANK: Ah!
1368 01:00:32 What's this?
1369 01:00:34 It's safes, Bob.
1370 01:00:35 (SOFTLY) Oh, you fucking idiot.
1371 01:00:37 - Those are my pornography collection.- Mmm.
1372 01:00:40 Why don't we pop the safes and seeif it's all the money that you've taken?
1373 01:00:43 You can't open them without the combo,
1374 01:00:44 -and I'm not giving it to you.- BOB: Hmm.
1375 01:00:46 What are you looking at?Why are you staring
1376 01:00:49 at this photo over here, now?
1377 01:00:51 Don't do that. Oh!
1378 01:00:53 BOB: Oh.
1379 01:00:54 A Post-it note.
1380 01:00:56 Is this the combination?'Cause you 69 yourself, 2417?
1381 01:01:00 Okay, here's the deal.
1382 01:01:01 - We're not gonna arrest you.-(BOTH SIGH)
1383 01:01:03 But you guys have toshut down this casino.
1384 01:01:05 Aw, what?
1385 01:01:06 And also, we're confiscatingall your money.
1386 01:01:08 Hold on, you can't take the money.It's for our daughter.
1387 01:01:11 You're gonna take their money, Bob?
1388 01:01:13 I'm not gonna take their money.
1389 01:01:14 I'm gonna confiscatetheir money for the town.
1390 01:01:17 Come on, Chandler, you're not gonnaget caught up in this, are you?
1391 01:01:20 You're a good guy.
1392 01:01:21 Who's always lead baritonewhen we go Christmas caroling.
1393 01:01:25 Come on.
1394 01:01:26 (SINGING) Hark the herald angels sing
1395 01:01:31 Glory to the newborn king
1396 01:01:33 BOB: Shut up.
1397 01:01:35 You remember when you guysstarted an illegal casino?
1398 01:01:38 (IN HIGH VOICE) I'm Alex.I wanna go to Bucknell.
1399 01:01:40 - Bob, enough.- But my parents fucked up.
1400 01:01:42 They couldn't find the money,so they started an illegal casino.
1401 01:01:45 - Bob, she's a kid.- Oh, oh.
1402 01:01:47 (NORMAL VOICE) We're taking the cash.
1403 01:01:52 BOB: Let's go, Chandler. Shut it down.
1404 01:01:55 OFFICER CHANDLER:Bob. Bob! That money's for college.
1405 01:01:59 WOMAN: (ON TV)Tonight at 11:00. Earlier this week,
1406 01:02:01 a local man was treatedat Sacred Heart Hospital
1407 01:02:04 for a severed middle finger.
1408 01:02:06 Authorities believe this may be relatedto the recent local crime spree.
1409 01:02:09 The man is known to haveconnections to Tommy Papouli,
1410 01:02:12 long suspected of racketeering,illegal gambling, and even murder.
1411 01:02:20 Hey, sweetie.
1412 01:02:23 You were watching Walking Deadwithout us'?
1413 01:02:26 - Yeah. Lizzie killed Mika.-(GUNSHOT ON TV)
1414 01:02:33 (SIGHS)
1415 01:02:38 KATE: (SIGHS) Fuck, we suck.
1416 01:02:40 SCOTT: We lost all our money.
1417 01:02:41 And I am mentally and physicallyaddicted to marijuana.
1418 01:02:44 Honey, you love it.
1419 01:02:45 I think about it all the time.It's really hard to focus right now.
1420 01:02:48 I'm so mad I'm not high.
1421 01:02:49 And we started a fight club.
1422 01:02:51 What are we doing?
1423 01:02:52 We're each othefls enabler.We're not even...
1424 01:02:55 One of us has to be an adult here.
1425 01:02:58 So, you do it.
1426 01:03:01 You be it.
1427 01:03:02 Okay. I'll be the adult.
1428 01:03:06 And, as the adult,
1429 01:03:08 I'm gonna say, we're gonna call Frankand tell him to shut it down.
1430 01:03:13 Okay.
1431 01:03:14 - And that's how we're gonna handle it.- Okay.
1432 01:03:16 (SIGHS DEEPLY)
1433 01:03:17 - What a relief.- Right?
1434 01:03:19 Or we keep it open, and go big.
1435 01:03:20 Or we do. Yeah.
1436 01:03:21 Fuck Bob Schaeffer.I'm not gonna look my daughter in the eye
1437 01:03:24 and tell her she can't go to college
1438 01:03:25 because some small-timecity councilman is bullying us.
1439 01:03:28 Exactly! We'll call everyoneand tell them the casino is still open.
1440 01:03:32 - Yes.- No limit on any bet in the house.
1441 01:03:34 We go big, we make our money,
1442 01:03:36 and then we parachute out of there.
1443 01:03:38 Go big, or go home.
1444 01:03:40 - Let's do this!- Okay.
1445 01:03:42 LAURA". AH right, here we go. Here we go!
1446 01:03:44 CRAIG: All right!
1447 01:03:46 LAURA: This is fun! Whoo!
1448 01:03:48 WOMAN: That guy!
1449 01:03:49 CRAIG: Fuck Bob Schaeffer! Whoo!
1450 01:03:51 We got a professional shooter here.
1451 01:03:53 JOE: He can't tell us to shut down!
1452 01:03:55 CRAIG: Let's go! Two more.Let's go. Come on.
1453 01:03:58 (EXCITED CHATTER)
1454 01:04:03 Wow. Hey, Raina.
1455 01:04:06 - What a pleasant surprise.- Oh, my God!
1456 01:04:08 You said, "I'm not gambling."
1457 01:04:09 Raina, I meant that. I'm not!
1458 01:04:13 They are!
1459 01:04:14 All of them, and they're losing.
1460 01:04:16 You know, when you emphasizeone word more than the other,
1461 01:04:19 you know that's bullshit, right'?
1462 01:04:21 Okay, so do you want meto emphasize something for you?
1463 01:04:24 I am not coming back.
1464 01:04:34 (GIRLS CHEERING)
1465 01:04:35 RACHEL: They said go through Taylor's,then through the woods,
1466 01:04:37 then we'll get to the casino!
1467 01:04:38 ALEX: Let's do it!
1468 01:04:42 - Ooh.-(ALL LAUGHING)
1469 01:04:45 (ALL CHEERING)
1470 01:04:50 I'm beginning to thinkRama's not gonna take me back.
1471 01:04:53 Mom? Dad? What are you guys doing here?
1472 01:04:57 Alex, what are you doing here?
1473 01:04:58 ALEX: We got invited to this casino.
1474 01:05:01 You shouldn't be here.
1475 01:05:02 What?- Come with us.
1476 01:05:04 Sweetheart, it's very complicated,but we need to tell you a few things.
1477 01:05:15 Hello?
1478 01:05:16 Hey, go around back.There's a secret entrance.
1479 01:05:19 The password is André the-- (YELLS)
1480 01:05:22 (YELLING)
1481 01:05:25 Holy fuck, look at this place.
1482 01:05:27 When you said casino,I didn't think you meant fucking casino.
1483 01:05:37 Remember me, motherfucker?
1484 01:05:39 Wow, that looks great.
1485 01:05:41 Hey, dickfuck,you're not gonna like Tommy.
1486 01:05:43 He doesn't cut off fingers,he cuts off heads.
1487 01:05:46 Shut up. Come on.
1488 01:05:48 Guys, we've got a problem.
1489 01:05:50 (KATE SCREAMS)
1490 01:05:52 - He's got a gun.- Okay.
1491 01:05:53 Where's the money'?
1492 01:05:54 - We just got robbed.- Yeah.
1493 01:05:56 Look, the safes are all empty.
1494 01:05:57 Do you know how many times I've seensomeone point to an empty safe
1495 01:06:00 and say, "We have no money"?
1496 01:06:02 - A hundred?-500?
1497 01:06:03 - Thirty thousand.-It's rhetorical, fuckstick.
1498 01:06:04 - FRANK: Okay.- Shut up.
1499 01:06:06 - This your daughter?- Where?
1500 01:06:07 - Who, her?- Right here.
1501 01:06:09 That's such a compliment.This is my wife.
1502 01:06:11 - Alex?- SCOTT: In fact, there's our daughter.
1503 01:06:13 - There she is. Hello, daughter.- SCOTT: Hi, honey.
1504 01:06:15 Don't overthink it.Just be our daughter.
1505 01:06:17 - Come right here.- I'm not your daughter. That's your--
1506 01:06:20 -(SHRIEKS)-(GROANS)
1507 01:06:21 Sorry, Rachel!
1508 01:06:23 - Fuck's the matter with you?- What?
1509 01:06:25 Shoving a girl like that?
1510 01:06:26 We are strict disciplinariansin our household.
1511 01:06:29 Get out of my way.I know this is your daughter.
1512 01:06:30 - Mom!- SCOTT: No, no, no!
1513 01:06:32 TOMMY: Cuff her.SCOTT: Sweetie.
1514 01:06:34 - Mom.- Honey.
1515 01:06:35 - No.- Wait, no.
1516 01:06:37 Take me, not her.
1517 01:06:39 No. No one cares if you die.
1518 01:06:40 Oh, thank God.
1519 01:06:41 Help 'em find the money. And hey...
1520 01:06:44 300 grand. Or you'll never seeyour daughter again.
1521 01:06:47 - Mom! Dad! Help! Help!- Fuck you. Fuck you.
1522 01:06:50 - Let go of me.-(CHUCKLES)
1523 01:06:54 You know what? You got us.
1524 01:06:58 There's $300,000 in money in this room...
1525 01:07:01 hidden in these money... Buckets.
1526 01:07:04 So, if you want,you can take the money,
1527 01:07:07 and we'll take their daughter back.
1528 01:07:09 - Yeah.- Yeah.
1529 01:07:10 There's one here,there's one behind the bed,
1530 01:07:12 and there's one right over there.
1531 01:07:15 Money cannon.
1532 01:07:17 (GROANING)
1533 01:07:18 (LAUGHS)
1534 01:07:19 Yeah!
1535 01:07:21 Don't worry, guys, I got this.
1536 01:07:25 KATE: Yes!
1537 01:07:27 Oh, no! Not in Frank's place, you don't!
1538 01:07:30 -(CROWD GASPS)-(GASPS AND GROANS)
1539 01:07:32 He's got a knife.
1540 01:07:36 - Look what he did.- RAINA: Oh, my God, Frank.
1541 01:07:39 - Frank! Frank!-(GROANING)
1542 01:07:40 - Raina.- Are you okay?
1543 01:07:42 - God.- Did you see him stab me?
1544 01:07:45 - Yes---it was so cool and effortless.
1545 01:07:47 - Oh, no! (GP-Gs).Qkay. Okay.
1546 01:07:49 Let's go. Come on.
1547 01:07:52 Jesus.
1548 01:07:53 Aren't you supposedto be getting me my money?
1549 01:07:55 - Pal?- Dad?
1550 01:07:56 My name's not Pal.
1551 01:08:00 - They call me the Butcher.- Is that rig ht?
1552 01:08:02 Alex! Stranger danger!
1553 01:08:04 (GROANS)
1554 01:08:06 (CROWD GASPS)
1555 01:08:09 -(CROWD SCREAMS)-(ALEX SCREAMING)
1556 01:08:12 - Fuck!-(PANICKED SHRIEKING)
1557 01:08:14 Oh, God!
1558 01:08:15 Don't forget about the Burner!
1559 01:08:18 Yeah!
1560 01:08:20 Oh, shit!
1561 01:08:22 Oh!
1562 01:08:23 What the fuck?
1563 01:08:24 Put him out! Put him out!
1564 01:08:26 - I got this!- No, no, no!
1565 01:08:29 That's vodka!
1566 01:08:30 Are you kidding'? Help!
1567 01:08:31 - I got ii!- No, no, no!
1568 01:08:33 That's vodka, too!
1569 01:08:35 Oh, God! (SCREAMS)
1570 01:08:37 Wait, no! That's polyester!
1571 01:08:39 (SCREAMING IN PAIN)
1572 01:08:43 I've got an idea. Everybody, back up!All right.
1573 01:08:46 Ouch!
1574 01:08:48 - Stop!-(SCREAMING)
1575 01:08:51 What's with these people?
1576 01:08:54 I did it!
1577 01:08:55 -(ALL CHEERING)- Frank!
1578 01:08:57 Frank, you saved his life.
1579 01:09:00 (LAUGHS) Everybody, everything'sgonna be just fine.
1580 01:09:05 -(ALL SCREAMING)- I was wrong!
1581 01:09:18 I'm sorry.
1582 01:09:20 You were right about me.
1583 01:09:21 I will sign the divorce papers.
1584 01:09:24 As long as you print a new copy,
1585 01:09:25 'cause the ones that you gave meburned up in the house.
1586 01:09:28 I fucked everything up.
1587 01:09:29 I know.
1588 01:09:31 But we have insurance.
1589 01:09:34 They don't know that I tookall the furniture and jewelry and stuff.
1590 01:09:37 - Raina...- What?
1591 01:09:39 Are you suggesting thatwe commit insurance fraud together?
1592 01:09:43 What, Frank? I'm just sayin'.
1593 01:09:48 (CROWD GASPS)
1594 01:09:53 ALEX: That's one of the mostfucked-up things I've ever heard.
1595 01:09:55 But.
1596 01:09:57 You guys kind of did it all for me.
1597 01:09:59 So, thank you.
1598 01:10:02 Honey, don't thank us.
1599 01:10:05 The money's all gone.You can't go to Bucknell.
1600 01:10:08 We are so sorry.
1601 01:10:10 We had it,
1602 01:10:12 but then Bob Schaeffertook it from us.
1603 01:10:15 The asshole that took my scholarship?
1604 01:10:18 If he stole it from us,why don't we just steal it back?
1605 01:10:20 - No.-'Cause we don't do that anymore.
1606 01:10:22 Once you go to the dark side,it gets dark very quickly. Trust me.
1607 01:10:24 I see fingers everywhere.
1608 01:10:26 Are you guys serious?
1609 01:10:27 You've been doingthis insane stuff all summer,
1610 01:10:29 and now that I have a chance to help,you just wanna quit?
1611 01:10:33 OFFICER CHANDLER: Good afternoon, folks.
1612 01:10:34 SCOTT: Excuse me'? Hello?ALEX: Mom?
1613 01:10:36 Don't be alarmed.I'm not here to arrest you.
1614 01:10:38 What you did was self-defense.
1615 01:10:40 We are alarmed, you're in our backyard.
1616 01:10:42 Ignore the badge.
1617 01:10:43 - Ignore the gun.- ALL: Oh!
1618 01:10:45 - Shit!- Put it down.
1619 01:10:47 - What are you doing?- Put that down.
1620 01:10:48 This is nothing to be afraid of. Here.
1621 01:10:51 (ALL GASP)
1622 01:10:52 People being afraid of guns is silly.
1623 01:10:54 And I'm sick of it.
1624 01:10:56 Anyway...
1625 01:10:57 I'm just here to say one thing.
1626 01:11:00 Fuck Bob Schaeffer.
1627 01:11:02 He doesn't care about this town.Here's what we're gonna do.
1628 01:11:06 You're never gonna believe this, Bob.
1629 01:11:09 They never shut down the casino.
1630 01:11:11 They just moved it to another house.
1631 01:11:12 But I told them if they kept it open,that I would have them arrested.
1632 01:11:17 FRANK: There are Smurfs who are taller
1633 01:11:19 -than Bob Schaeffer.-(SIGHS)
1634 01:11:21 He looks like a gremlinlearned how to tie a tie.
1635 01:11:24 Don't get him wet after midnight.
1636 01:11:26 Hey, guys! Hound the casino!
1637 01:11:27 GARVEY: For God sakes, I'm short!
1638 01:11:29 (LAUGHTER)
1639 01:11:31 (ALL CHEERING)
1640 01:11:34 They're making fun of you, Bob.
1641 01:11:36 GARVEY: (IN HIGH VOICE)Hello, I'm Bob Schaeffer.
1642 01:11:37 You told them to shut it down.
1643 01:11:41 Cop car. Now.
1644 01:11:46 Can't wait to see their faceswhen we get there.
1645 01:11:53 Come on.
1646 01:12:01 SCOTT: Okay. Yeah, right there.
1647 01:12:03 Okay, here you go.
1648 01:12:05 Okay.
1649 01:12:08 SCOTT: All right.
1650 01:12:09 What's the combination?
1651 01:12:11 It's okay, I know.Um, Officer Chandler told me.
1652 01:12:13 And right now,
1653 01:12:16 I completely remember it.
1654 01:12:20 It's okay, I know, I know, I know.
1655 01:12:22 Dad, there's no time for this.
1656 01:12:23 -(THUDDING)-(SHUSHING) Hide!
1657 01:12:25 - Hey, how's it going?- Good.
1658 01:12:26 I need that by tomorrow.
1659 01:12:27 All right. No, I'm serious, though.
1660 01:12:29 All right. Bye.
1661 01:12:31 Okay, Scott...
1662 01:12:34 - Honey, I have faith in you, okay?- Yeah.
1663 01:12:36 I know that you can rememberfour sequential numbers.
1664 01:12:41 Just think. Just think.
1665 01:12:48 Squiggly line.
1666 01:12:50 Is that part of the combination?
1667 01:12:54 - Poop. Poop emoji?- POOP: Uh-oh.
1668 01:12:57 Is that part of it? No.
1669 01:12:59 I love you so much, Dad.
1670 01:13:01 I'm gonna miss you next year at college.
1671 01:13:06 29-52-41 -78 pound.
1672 01:13:08 - Yes!- I remember!
1673 01:13:09 You did! Good job!
1674 01:13:10 I'm gonna miss you, too, sweetie.
1675 01:13:12 Okay.
1676 01:13:13 - Good job.-(SAFE BEEPING)
1677 01:13:17 (SAFE CLICKS)
1678 01:13:21 Okay.
1679 01:13:25 (GASPS)
1680 01:13:27 (SCOTT GRUNTING)
1681 01:13:29 Okay. Here we go. Here we go.
1682 01:13:31 Honey, there's wheels.
1683 01:13:32 I got it. What'?
1684 01:13:34 - Dad! Dad!- It's got wheels!
1685 01:13:35 - You can wheel it.-It does.
1686 01:13:36 - Okay, yeah. So much easier.- Just drag the suitcase.
1687 01:13:38 - Okay.- Careful! The floor is slippery.
1688 01:13:41 Are you meeting with the Johansens'?
1689 01:13:42 I think I saw them come into Town Hall.
1690 01:13:44 BOB". Dawn, they cam be there.We're going to arrest them right now.
1691 01:13:46 DAWN: Well, they're here somewhere.
1692 01:13:51 Your office door is open.
1693 01:13:52 Wait, so is the safe.
1694 01:13:54 What'? I'm coming back!
1695 01:13:55 Go faster, Chandler.
1696 01:13:56 - I'm driving safely, Bob.- Punch it!
1697 01:13:58 Bob, I'm going the speed limit.
1698 01:14:00 - Punch it, Chandler. Let's go.- I won't.
1699 01:14:02 BOB: Back to Town Hall now!
1700 01:14:04 OFFICER CHANDLER: Stop it!BOB: You stop it!
1701 01:14:05 - Stop doing that!- BOB: No!
1702 01:14:06 Stop it! Watch out, Chandler!
1703 01:14:09 (GROANS)
1704 01:14:11 That's why you don't punch it!
1705 01:14:14 (GRUNTS) Great, just great!
1706 01:14:17 (GROANING)
1707 01:14:21 Fuck you, Bob Schaefier!
1708 01:14:23 - You wrecked my car! You pig!- Stop it.
1709 01:14:26 Bob!
1710 01:14:28 - Look what you did!- Ma'am, we have to exchange information!
1711 01:14:30 WOMAN: Fuck the police.
1712 01:14:34 There you go.
1713 01:14:36 There we go.
1714 01:14:37 -(YELLS)-(ALL GASP)
1715 01:14:39 (ALL PANTING)
1716 01:14:46 -(GRUNTS)-(KATE SCREAMS)
1717 01:14:48 (ALL GROANING)
1718 01:14:54 (PANTING)
1719 01:14:58 (YELLS)
1720 01:14:59 (GRUNTS)
1721 01:15:03 (KATE YELLS)
1722 01:15:04 (ALL GROAN)
1723 01:15:06 Your family fucking sucks!
1724 01:15:09 (GRUNTING)
1725 01:15:11 Stupid fucking money bag!
1726 01:15:15 (YELLS)
1727 01:15:17 No! Not the model!
1728 01:15:20 (BOTH GRUNTING)
1729 01:15:22 (BOB CHUCKLES)
1730 01:15:23 I handcuffed it to my wrist,you fucking shithead!
1731 01:15:27 So, what are you gonna doabout it now, Scott Johansen?
1732 01:15:35 You're not talking to Scott Johansen.
1733 01:15:36 What'?
1734 01:15:39 You're talking to...
1735 01:15:40 No. No.
1736 01:15:41 - The Butcher.- No!
1737 01:15:43 (BOB GASPS)
1738 01:15:46 (GASPING)
1739 01:15:48 I thought you were gonna cut off my arm.
1740 01:15:50 So did I. I'm so glad I didn't do that.
1741 01:15:52 Oh, God.
1742 01:15:56 Oh, Chandler, God.
1743 01:15:57 Chandler, arrest these people, please.
1744 01:15:59 I don't think so, Bob.
1745 01:16:01 I like them a lot more than I like you.
1746 01:16:03 - Hmm.- BOB: Are you kidding me?
1747 01:16:05 - So, that's how it's gonna be?- Yeah.
1748 01:16:07 Don't touch the fucking money.
1749 01:16:09 (CHUCKLING) It's fine.
1750 01:16:11 All I need is my sweei, sweet Dawn.
1751 01:16:12 Bob, is that all cashthat you stole from them?
1752 01:16:15 KATE: Yep.
1753 01:16:16 - Yeah, he did.- All of it.
1754 01:16:17 - KATE: Mmm-hmm.- Come on!
1755 01:16:19 I took that money for us,
1756 01:16:20 for our future.
1757 01:16:22 What future? What are you talking about?
1758 01:16:23 I wanted you to be my First Lady.
1759 01:16:25 DAWN". You're never gonna be President.
1760 01:16:27 You're too short.
1761 01:16:29 (SUCKS IN BREATH)
1762 01:16:30 Dawn?
1763 01:16:32 - What's going on in here?- DAWN: Joe...
1764 01:16:34 Oh, my God, the model.
1765 01:16:36 DAWN". And you know what, Bob?
1766 01:16:37 I'm already somebody's First Lady.
1767 01:16:39 No.
1768 01:16:41 JOE: I'm coming in for a kiss right now.
1769 01:16:42 - Here I come.-(BOTH CHUCKLING)
1770 01:16:45 Mmm.
1771 01:16:46 (SMACKING)
1772 01:16:48 Way to go, Joe.
1773 01:16:50 - Did I get you that necklace?- What?
1774 01:16:53 Yep.
1775 01:16:54 BOB: You know what? All I do is give!
1776 01:16:57 What about me?
1777 01:16:59 - What about Bob?-(ALL LAUGHING)
1778 01:17:02 What's so funny'?
1779 01:17:03 There's a movie. What About Bob?
1780 01:17:05 Yeah. Richard Dreyfuss, Bill Murray.
1781 01:17:08 Am I the only onewho doesn't get Bill Murray?
1782 01:17:10 - What?- You're coming off
1783 01:17:12 -like a real dipshit now.- You're being a piece of shit, Bob.
1784 01:17:15 Don't judge me!
1785 01:17:16 Yeah, I took the money!
1786 01:17:18 I took the money from the Johansens,
1787 01:17:20 and I took the money from the town.
1788 01:17:22 But I deserve it!
1789 01:17:23 I'm so glad you said that clearly, Bob.
1790 01:17:25 'Cause we've been recording iton all of these cameras.
1791 01:17:28 What? What'?
1792 01:17:30 Oh, God!
1793 01:17:32 I'm gonna go shoot Bob.
1794 01:17:33 No, no, no.
1795 01:17:35 - I'm gonna go arrest Bob.- KATE: That a boy!
1796 01:17:37 Anyway, those cameras weren't turned on.I just said that to freak him out.
1797 01:17:40 - Are you kidding me?- That was badass.
1798 01:17:41 I totally bought that!
1799 01:17:42 SCOTT: Come on. Let's go, guys.
1800 01:17:58 - It's okay.-It's okay.
1801 01:18:01 You got it.
1802 01:18:05 I love yOI-l 9W5-
1803 01:18:10 Thanks forgetting me into college.
1804 01:18:18 KATE: (SIGHS) You okay?
1805 01:18:22 Yeah.
1806 01:18:23 Yeah, you?
1807 01:18:24 KATE: Yeah.
1808 01:18:28 You know, I thought losing Alexwould feel like losing my best friend.
1809 01:18:31 Yeah, me, too.
1810 01:18:35 But it's not.
1811 01:18:38 Alex is my daughter,
1812 01:18:39 you're my best friend.
1813 01:18:44 You're my best friend.
1814 01:18:47 (SIGHS)
1815 01:18:48 And you're not just my best friend,you're the baddest mofo around.
1816 01:18:53 Whom I fucking love.
1817 01:18:56 Did you just say "whom"?
1818 01:19:00 'Cause you're giving mea straight-up boner, girl.
1819 01:19:02 - Grammar has always been your thing.- Yeah.
1820 01:19:04 Math, not so much.
1821 01:19:05 I know you.
1822 01:19:08 I wanna feed you soup when we get old.
1823 01:19:12 (SIGHS)
1824 01:19:13 I really hope that I don't die before you.
1825 01:19:18 Because I don't knowhow you're gonna make it without me.
1826 01:19:20 I know.
1827 01:19:22 I think about that all the time.
1828 01:19:24 Okay.
1829 01:19:26 For another day.
1830 01:19:27 Okay.
1831 01:19:44 (SIGHS)
1832 01:19:49 Excuse me.
1833 01:19:51 - Excuse me?-(HORN HONKING)
1834 01:19:53 You mind pulling up?
1835 01:19:55 We're just havinga little trouble getting out.
1836 01:19:57 Where are you gonna go, huh? Soccer moms.
1837 01:20:02 Hey!
1838 01:20:03 Wrong couple to fuck with, pal.
1839 01:20:06 (SCREAMS)
1840 01:20:07 You're fucking crazy!
1841 01:20:10 - I'm starving.- Yeah, me, too.
1842 01:20:13 God, he was scared shitless, huh?(CHUCKLES)
1843 01:20:21 (GIRL SCREAMS)
1844 01:20:33 I don't mean to freak you out,but if I don't get my job back...
1845 01:20:39 Are you jerking off a giant?
1846 01:20:41 No. (CHUCKLES)
1847 01:20:42 ANDREW JAY COHEN: Try i! again.
1848 01:20:44 Maybe lean over with your neck,like it's just snapped.
1849 01:20:47 Okay.
1850 01:20:48 I will give you your raise.
1851 01:20:51 - Okay.- If you can name one of my kids.
1852 01:20:53 Varley. Sativa.
1853 01:20:55 - No, no. I'm sorry.- Okay. Yeah.
1854 01:20:57 Sataiva.
1855 01:20:58 - Campbell. Campbell's Soup?- Campbell?
1856 01:21:00 - Khaleesi?- Khaleesi is not one of my kids' names.
1857 01:21:02 - Salamander.- You just said 'em back to me...
1858 01:21:04 Salamander? No way.
1859 01:21:06 No Earthly wayis my child named Salamander.
1860 01:21:09 Like, no fucking way?
1861 01:21:10 Like, no fucking way.
1862 01:21:12 (BOTH LAUGHING)
1863 01:21:14 Let's go downstairs.
1864 01:21:16 There's some people that the Butcherneeds to talk 10 on the floor.
1865 01:21:18 - What are you doing?-(CREW LAUGHING)
1866 01:21:20 (ALL LAUGHING)
1867 01:21:22 I was gonna go here,and then I realized that I crossed you.
1868 01:21:26 You know I love y'all, right?
1869 01:21:28 But you stress me out.
1870 01:21:30 COHEN: And, cut!
1871 01:21:31 - All right, you motherfuckers...-(LAUGHING)
1872 01:21:39 COHEN: Action!
1873 01:21:40 What the fuck?
1874 01:21:42 - Fuck is your problem with you people?- FRANK: Put him out, put him out!
1875 01:21:46 - I put it out. Fuck yourself!-(LAUGHTER)
1876 01:21:48 Yeah, we're gonna cut your finger off.
1877 01:21:50 We're gonna cut your dick off.
1878 01:21:52 I'm gonna take your dick,I might lick it.
1879 01:21:54 - Hang on. What?- In private.
1880 01:21:55 Wait, what'? What do you mean'?
1881 01:21:57 What'?
1882 01:21:59 (LAUGHTER)
1883 01:28:01 English - SDH