游戏之夜(Game Night)(EN)Subtitles

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1 00:00:42 Who cares aboutwinning? Let's get drunk!
2 00:00:45 Now we're goinginto the lightning round.
3 00:00:46 Let's do it.
4 00:00:48 So from now on, you'llbe shouting out your answers.
5 00:00:50 Get you drunk, Merkins.You too, Borgs.
6 00:00:50 I'm thirsty. Huh?
7 00:00:53 I need four shots of vodka,four shots of water.
8 00:00:55 I want you to send the vodkaover to the Merkins'.
9 00:00:57 Send the water to us.You understand?
10 00:00:59 What formerSupreme Court Justice...
11 00:01:01 - Oliver Wendell Holmes!- Correct.
12 00:01:03 Yes!
13 00:01:04 Again, I'd like to askthe players to allow me to...
14 00:01:07 To finish the question.
15 00:01:08 Very funny.
16 00:01:10 Okay, okay.This is getting embarrassing.
17 00:01:12 So we need to focus.
18 00:01:14 'Cause this isn't a game.
19 00:01:16 It literally is.
20 00:01:18 Bill, do not test meright now.
21 00:01:20 Looks like we'redown to two teams.
22 00:01:22 So for double points,
23 00:01:24 what is the nameof the purple Teletubby?
24 00:01:27 - Tinky Winky!- You're both correct.
25 00:01:31 He always carried a...
26 00:01:33 - Red purse.- Yeah.
27 00:01:35 - And he loved big hugs.- Big hugs.
28 00:01:38 I know. I'm Max.
29 00:01:40 Annie.
30 00:01:59 Ha-ha! You're nevergonna be able to
31 00:02:00 hold on to Asia! You hear me?
32 00:02:02 Hey, if you take Kamchatka,and I take Mongolia,
33 00:02:04 we could trap Lindain the middle.
34 00:02:05 - Starve out her armies.- Hey!
35 00:02:06 You can't form alliances.
36 00:02:07 Worked for Hitler, right? Hmm?
37 00:02:10 You're high-fiving Hitler?
38 00:02:13 All right,you got this. Last one.
39 00:02:16 Oh, that's Twilight Saga:Breaking Dawn.
40 00:02:19 Yes!
41 00:02:20 I'm up, I feel good.
42 00:02:21 Two words.
43 00:02:23 Bill. Overweight.
44 00:02:24 - No.- Single. Out of work.
45 00:02:26 What the fuck?
46 00:02:27 Hairy.
47 00:02:28 Carry, marry.
48 00:02:30 Marry!
49 00:02:31 You. Me.
50 00:02:33 Marry me?
51 00:02:34 Dude, we got it! We got it!
52 00:02:36 Annie, will you?
53 00:02:38 Will you marry me?
54 00:02:39 - Is that a yes? That's a yes!- Yeah!
55 00:02:41 I'm really happy for you guys.
56 00:02:57 - Lot of pressure here.- Yeah.
57 00:02:59 You miss,you lose it all.
58 00:03:01 Stay outta my head.
59 00:03:02 And you know you havea distinct advantage
60 00:03:03 with the smaller hands, right?
61 00:03:04 Your goal postsare not as big.
62 00:03:06 Well, I guess youshould've married Uma Thurman.
63 00:03:07 Yeah, that would'vebeen great.
64 00:03:08 There's a snap,
65 00:03:09 here's the hold.
66 00:03:10 - Ooh!- And a text.
67 00:03:12 That was interference.
68 00:03:14 Sorry, honey. I knowhow much that meant to you.
69 00:03:16 - Come on.- Dr. Chin is ready for you.
70 00:03:18 Uh, great.
71 00:03:20 I think we've determinedwhy you've been
72 00:03:21 having trouble conceiving.
73 00:03:22 - Okay. Let's have it.- Okay, great.
74 00:03:25 Oh, what's that look? Is it me?Of course it's me.
75 00:03:28 I'm not loving your semen.
76 00:03:30 - Oh?- Your count is excellent,
77 00:03:32 but your motilityis well below normal.
78 00:03:34 - That's too bad.- What would cause that?
79 00:03:36 It can be genetic,environmental factors.
80 00:03:39 Nine times out of 10, though,it's psychological.
81 00:03:41 Have you been feelinganxious or stressed?
82 00:03:44 No, I don't think so.Not really.
83 00:03:46 Uh...He's always a little stressed.
84 00:03:49 You don't have to write...I'm not...
85 00:03:50 Honey, she's writing it down.
86 00:03:51 Well, Max is very competitive.
87 00:03:54 As am I.
88 00:03:55 We sure are.
89 00:03:56 One of the reasonsI fell in love with him.
90 00:03:58 Maybe that makes hima little more prone
91 00:03:59 to stress than normal people.
92 00:04:02 "Normal people"?
93 00:04:03 How long has thisbeen going on, Max?
94 00:04:05 It's not going on.
95 00:04:06 Oh, well, you did sayeven when you were a kid,
96 00:04:09 you would freak outif you lost at anything.
97 00:04:11 Oh, I was a kid.
98 00:04:13 Especially if you lostto your brother.
99 00:04:14 Hmm.
100 00:04:16 Hey, is that what this is?
101 00:04:18 No.
102 00:04:19 You have been so uptight
103 00:04:20 since you found out thatBrooks is coming to town.
104 00:04:22 I don't think that's true.
105 00:04:24 - Could that be a factor in all this?- Let's be fair.
106 00:04:25 Sibling rivalrycan be very powerful.
107 00:04:28 Cain and Abel, the Baldwins.
108 00:04:30 - The what?- The brothers.
109 00:04:31 I'm not surewhy we're discussing this.
110 00:04:33 She's not a therapist.
111 00:04:34 You're not a therapist, right?With all respect.
112 00:04:37 - No, but I am a doctor.- Sure.
113 00:04:38 And I believe in treatingthe whole patient.
114 00:04:40 So, what is itabout your brother
115 00:04:42 that makes youfeel emasculated?
116 00:04:44 Are we gonna do this?
117 00:04:45 We're right next to the roomwhere I masturbated.
118 00:04:47 I think he has it in his headthat Brooks is cooler
119 00:04:50 and more successfuland hotter than he is.
120 00:04:53 I never said "hotter."
121 00:04:55 He's charming.
122 00:04:56 That's interesting.And is he single?
123 00:04:59 What's that?
124 00:05:00 I don't knowif I mentioned it,
125 00:05:01 but Keith and Iare on a trial separation.
126 00:05:03 - Oh.- Keith?
127 00:05:05 Uh, Keith.
128 00:05:07 So, do you think your brother wouldwanna grab a cup of coffee with me?
129 00:05:09 Gosh, I don't know.
130 00:05:10 Well, it doesn't hurt to ask.
131 00:05:11 Hurts a little.
132 00:05:13 Now, is he a tall fella?'Cause I'm only 5'2".
133 00:05:16 We're all done with my semen?
134 00:05:17 He is taller than Max.
135 00:05:19 Good.
136 00:05:20 But he did datethis ballerina once,
137 00:05:22 and she was justa teeny-tiny little thing.
138 00:05:43 Ooh.Honey, Gary.
139 00:05:45 Don't mentiongame night, okay?
140 00:05:46 Mmm-hmm.
141 00:05:47 - Good evening, Max.- Hey, Gary.
142 00:05:49 - Annie.- Hello there.
143 00:05:50 Hi, Gary!
144 00:05:53 Just checking the mail.
145 00:05:54 Oh, yeah?
146 00:05:56 Some people check itearlier in the day,
147 00:05:57 but there's always a risk
148 00:05:58 that the mail carrierhasn't come yet.
149 00:06:01 This spares me the chance ofa futile trip to the mailbox.
150 00:06:08 Uh-huh.
151 00:06:09 Plus, it allows Bastian herethe opportunity to urinate.
152 00:06:14 You have a good one.
153 00:06:16 Any plans for this evening?
154 00:06:18 No.
155 00:06:20 Perhaps a game night?
156 00:06:21 We're just gonna stay in,
157 00:06:22 - just the two of us.- Mmm-hmm.
158 00:06:24 - Boring.- Mmm.
159 00:06:26 I see.
160 00:06:28 I do hope you keep me in mindfor any future game nights.
161 00:06:33 You bet.
162 00:06:35 I've always enjoyed thecamaraderie of good friends
163 00:06:38 competing in gamesof chance and skill.
164 00:06:42 Yeah. Yeah, well,we'll do that,
165 00:06:44 but tonight it's justthe two of us.
166 00:06:49 Three bags of Tostitos Scoops,I notice.
167 00:06:58 There was a specialon these tonight.
168 00:07:01 Three for one.
169 00:07:02 Three for one?
170 00:07:04 Yup.
171 00:07:05 How can that be profitablefor Frito-Lay?
172 00:07:09 These corporations,
173 00:07:12 I don't knowwhat they're doing.
174 00:07:14 Well, you twoenjoy each other.
175 00:07:17 It's often we don't appreciatewhat we have until it's gone.
176 00:07:26 - I think that's it.- Okay.
177 00:07:28 Bye-bye!
178 00:07:35 If Gary sees the otherscoming, we're screwed.
179 00:07:37 No, no, honey,it's not gonna be a problem.
180 00:07:39 I was very clear with everyoneto park far away
181 00:07:41 and just to sneak in quietly,you know.
182 00:07:44 But now, I mean,
183 00:07:45 you don't thinkwe're being dicks, do you?
184 00:07:46 Should we juststill invite the guy?
185 00:07:47 He really seemedlike he wanted to play.
186 00:07:49 No, no.Debbie was our friend,
187 00:07:51 and Gary was justthe creepy husband
188 00:07:52 that we had to put up with.
189 00:07:53 That's true.
190 00:07:54 He's only gotten worsesince the divorce.
191 00:07:56 Yeah, we don't owe himanything, right? Fuck him!
192 00:08:25 Hi!
193 00:08:26 Hi.
194 00:08:31 Can we help you?
195 00:08:33 I'm okay.
196 00:08:35 Hey!
197 00:08:36 Of course. Ryan, why are youcoming in through the window?
198 00:08:38 You said sneak in so RoboCopwouldn't see us.
199 00:08:41 I meant sneak inthrough the door.
200 00:08:43 Well, you were super vague.
201 00:08:44 - I wasn't vague at all.- Wine?
202 00:08:45 I know I didn't say,"Break the succulents."
203 00:08:47 Hey.
204 00:08:48 I'm not dressed for this nonsense.This is ridiculous.
205 00:08:50 It's like Nightof the Living Dead in here.
206 00:08:51 Yeah, you are askinga lot from us, Max.
207 00:08:53 I didn't say to comethrough the window.
208 00:08:54 This is Max.We used to work together.
209 00:08:56 His wife, Annie. Michelle,and that guy's Kevin.
210 00:08:58 - What's up, buddy?- The door's right there.
211 00:09:00 Guys, this is Madison.
212 00:09:01 Yeah, you brought herlast week.
213 00:09:02 You work at Forever 21, right?
214 00:09:04 - No, no.- I work at Sephora.
215 00:09:06 - I'm confused.- Different girl.
216 00:09:09 Same look, same voice.
217 00:09:10 Nice to meet you.
218 00:09:11 You, too.
219 00:09:15 - That's yours.- It's...
220 00:09:17 No. I think you'resupposed to kiss it, right?
221 00:09:19 Welcome.
222 00:09:20 Do you guys have a bathroom?
223 00:09:22 There's one just downthe hall. You need it?
224 00:09:23 Okay, is it onthe right or the left?
225 00:09:25 I don't wanna goin the wrong room.
226 00:09:27 The one with the toilet.
227 00:09:28 - Can't miss it.- Okay.
228 00:09:32 - Oh, boy.- Dude!
229 00:09:33 - Oh. Wow.- Right?
230 00:09:34 Where'd you find her?A TED Talk?
231 00:09:36 No, at Chipotle.
232 00:09:37 Let me ask yousomething, Ryan.
233 00:09:38 Aren't you sick of losinggame night every week
234 00:09:40 because of the datesyou bring?
235 00:09:41 They're not always that bad.
236 00:09:46 Heather, seriously.
237 00:09:48 How many photos of you withthe dog filter do you need?
238 00:09:51 "Dennis" isn't a word.
239 00:09:53 Yeah, it is.It's my daddy's name, so...
240 00:09:56 These are the elite,the very best, the...
241 00:09:59 Oh, oh. White people!
242 00:10:00 - What?- Oh, Jesus.
243 00:10:02 Okay, unlike you psychos,
244 00:10:03 I don't give a shitabout winning game night.
245 00:10:05 I don't need that validation.
246 00:10:07 But you do need the validationof dating Instagram models?
247 00:10:09 Absolutely.
248 00:10:11 I'm sorry. I'm sorryI'm not like you, Michelle.
249 00:10:13 We didn't all meetour soulmate
250 00:10:14 when we were 10 years old.
251 00:10:16 Fourteen.
252 00:10:17 - Oh, sorry.- Fourteen.
253 00:10:18 And we didn't get marrieduntil we were 19.
254 00:10:19 - See, that's gross.- You know what, Ryan?
255 00:10:21 I hope one day you get to meeta lovely, young lady.
256 00:10:24 So you can love her as much as Ilove my sweet baby right here.
257 00:10:26 Yes, find her.Look how cute this...
258 00:10:28 - Hey, look at this.- So much love.
259 00:10:29 Let's look at himwhen we do it.
260 00:10:31 - Hey, everybody.- Find the love!
261 00:10:32 Grab your drinks.Let's go play, come on.
262 00:10:33 Dude, do you knowwhat rich people
263 00:10:35 are doing on their gamenights these days?
264 00:10:37 What's that?
265 00:10:38 - Fight clubs.- What?
266 00:10:40 I just read about 'em.
267 00:10:41 They pay poor peopleto fight each other,
268 00:10:43 and then they beton the winner.
269 00:10:44 - No, that's not a real thing.- Yes, it is!
270 00:10:46 If you can have anythingyou want in this world,
271 00:10:48 you have to raise the stakesor life gets boring.
272 00:10:50 The Kennedys used to havefight clubs at their compound.
273 00:10:52 Honey, listen, you gottastop reading BuzzFeed
274 00:10:54 every second of the damn day.
275 00:10:56 How about some Charades?Should we start with Charades?
276 00:10:57 - Let's go!- Yeah!
277 00:10:58 It's been a while, huh?
278 00:10:59 Do you wanna wait for Brooks?
279 00:11:01 I don't think we need to.No, he's late.
280 00:11:03 Wait, hold up.
281 00:11:04 - Brooks is in town?- Yeah.
282 00:11:05 I thought he was workingin Europe.
283 00:11:07 He was, yeah. He's apparentlyback for some business.
284 00:11:09 Haven't seen him yet.
285 00:11:10 - But we can get started.- Yeah!
286 00:11:12 Who wants to start?
287 00:11:13 Who are you guystalking about?
288 00:11:15 Max's brother. He's this supersuccessful venture capitalist.
289 00:11:17 Yeah, he wasthe first to invest
290 00:11:18 in Panera Bread, you know?
291 00:11:20 The Fuji Apple Saladwas his idea.
292 00:11:22 - A lot of investors.- Yeah.
293 00:11:23 He's like the Mark Wahlbergto Max's Donnie.
294 00:11:25 Well...
295 00:11:27 Which is a huge complimentbecause Donnie was fucking great
296 00:11:29 in The Sixth Sense, wasn't he?
297 00:11:30 He was.
298 00:11:31 Was he in The Sixth Sense?
299 00:11:33 He sure is, yeah.
300 00:11:34 You know who is notin The Sixth Sense?
301 00:11:35 Mark Wahlberg.
302 00:11:36 Mark would never takea role that small.
303 00:11:40 Is that right, Madison?
304 00:11:42 Man, I haven't seen himsince the wedding.
305 00:11:44 - Remember that speech he gave?- Yes.
306 00:11:46 And then he paid for thatwhole fireworks display!
307 00:11:48 - Oh, my gosh! The fireworks!- Little over the top.
308 00:11:49 Let's get started.I'm gonna start us off.
309 00:11:51 Yes, let's start!
310 00:11:52 We gotta pick teams first.
311 00:11:54 - Movie?- It's a movie. Okay.
312 00:11:55 Dude, we have no teams.
313 00:11:57 - You just give up?- Better not be Brooks.
314 00:12:13 You didn't tell himto park up the street?
315 00:12:15 I did, yeah,like, three times.
316 00:12:18 Hey!
317 00:12:20 He got a Stingray, huh?
318 00:12:25 Turn off your car!
319 00:12:27 What's that?
320 00:12:31 Hello, again.
321 00:12:33 Mmm...
322 00:12:34 Still wearing the uniform.
323 00:12:37 Hey, bud,I'm sorry I'm late.
324 00:12:39 I hope you didn't startgame night without me.
325 00:12:43 Did you not get my texts?
326 00:12:44 What text?
327 00:12:46 Oh, hello, Officer.
328 00:12:49 Why's that guy staring at us?
329 00:12:51 Gary, I want youto meet my brother, Brooks.
330 00:12:53 We're having a little familythree-man game night tonight.
331 00:12:56 Wait, what do you meanthree-man?
332 00:12:58 You said that Michelleand Ryan and Kevin were...
333 00:12:59 No, no, no.Just gonna be us three.
334 00:13:01 I can see 'em in the doorway.
335 00:13:02 There's a whole messof people. Hey, guys!
336 00:13:04 - There they are.- Hey!
337 00:13:06 These guys are leaving.
338 00:13:07 Take off, guys.
339 00:13:09 We had a little bitof a mix-up with the...
340 00:13:12 - God damn it!- What?
341 00:13:13 We didn't want him to knowwe were having a game night.
342 00:13:15 He used to come, and we don'tlike him anymore, so...
343 00:13:19 Oh.
344 00:13:20 You know,I think he knows now.
345 00:13:22 He sure does.
346 00:13:23 Maxi Pad,come on, bring it in.
347 00:13:26 I haven'tseen you in a year!
348 00:13:30 Hey, you smell good.
349 00:13:33 What is that?
350 00:13:34 Is that Selsun Blue?Head and Shoulders?
351 00:13:36 Why do you assumeit's a dandruff shampoo?
352 00:13:38 Well, I mean,you've always been
353 00:13:39 a little bit of a snowstorm.
354 00:13:41 Hey, would youhold that for a second?
355 00:13:42 - Yup.- Hey, guys!
356 00:13:43 - You look good, stranger.- Wanna drink?
357 00:13:46 It's been forever.
358 00:13:47 I know, and that's my fault.I'm so sorry.
359 00:13:49 Sweet ride, Brooks.
360 00:13:50 Oh, you like that? I justgot her a couple weeks ago.
361 00:13:52 What is that? A Corvette?
362 00:13:54 It's a 1976 rally redStingray coupe.
363 00:13:57 It was my dream car as a kid.
364 00:13:58 And that's what gave methe idea to get it.
365 00:14:00 You know what?I love your house.
366 00:14:03 Are you being sarcastic?
367 00:14:04 No, I mean, I love your house.
368 00:14:06 It reminds meof Mom and Dad's.
369 00:14:07 Makes me thinkof simpler times.
370 00:14:09 Simpler?
371 00:14:11 So how longare you in town for?
372 00:14:13 You know, I'm not sure.
373 00:14:14 It depends on how many clients
374 00:14:15 the firm's gonna be having meschmooze while I'm here.
375 00:14:18 But hopefully for a while.
376 00:14:20 I don't get to see you guys,and I...
377 00:14:24 God, I really miss you, man.I really do.
378 00:14:27 Oh.
379 00:14:28 Miss you, too, Brooks.
380 00:14:30 And go!
381 00:14:32 Shock-rocker.Dated Rose McGowan.
382 00:14:34 Oh! Ah, Marilyn Manson.
383 00:14:36 Yep. You got it.
384 00:14:37 - Quick story.- There's no pausing.
385 00:14:38 You rememberthe urban myth where
386 00:14:40 Marilyn Mansonhad the ribs taken out,
387 00:14:42 so he could go downon himself?
388 00:14:43 Yeah.
389 00:14:45 You don't mind me tellingthe story, do you, Max?
390 00:14:46 You're in the middle of a...
391 00:14:47 You were 14 years old.It's an adorable story.
392 00:14:49 I forbid it.
393 00:14:50 I'm a little curious.
394 00:14:53 Did you blow yourself?
395 00:14:55 You know the bungee cordson roof racks?
396 00:14:57 - Yeah.- Max took one of those bungee cords
397 00:14:59 and he put it around his neck.
398 00:15:00 Here he goes.
399 00:15:02 And then he wrapped itbehind his legs,
400 00:15:03 so he could squish his facedown into his crotch.
401 00:15:05 But the problem was
402 00:15:07 that it got stuck!He couldn't unhook it.
403 00:15:10 And about an hour later,
404 00:15:13 Mom comes home,and she finds him there.
405 00:15:15 Shit!
406 00:15:17 Her little pretzel boyon his bedroom floor naked.
407 00:15:18 Little pretzel boy?
408 00:15:21 Great story.Are we back on now?
409 00:15:23 So?
410 00:15:25 So what?
411 00:15:25 Did you suck it?
412 00:15:27 Let's go. Come on. Brooks.
413 00:15:28 Back to it. Come on.Play the game.
414 00:15:31 Poor man's Johnny Depp,starred in Jericho.
415 00:15:33 Skeet Ulrich.
416 00:15:35 UN Secretary General,'92 to '96.
417 00:15:37 Boutros Boutros-Ghali.
418 00:15:39 This guy. He hated kidsin Jurassic Park.
419 00:15:41 Sam Neill.
420 00:15:43 Dubstep DJ,looks like Corey Feldman.
421 00:15:45 - Skrillex.- Yep.
422 00:15:46 Rappers lovethis Cubist painter.
423 00:15:47 Picasso!
424 00:15:48 Big cat shotby asshole dentist.
425 00:15:49 - Cecil the lion!- Time!
426 00:15:51 - How many?- Seven!
427 00:15:53 Seven!
428 00:15:57 You're up, pretzel boy.
429 00:15:58 Whoo! Go, Max!
430 00:15:59 - Come on, Max.- All right. Here we go.
431 00:16:01 And kick it, go!
432 00:16:05 Oh, this is easy!
433 00:16:06 Annie, the famous actorthat we met
434 00:16:08 at the airportabout eight years ago.
435 00:16:11 Who?
436 00:16:13 Only actor we've ever metat an airport who's famous.
437 00:16:15 Bobby Flay?
438 00:16:16 Not an actor.
439 00:16:17 This fellow was in front of usat the Sbarro.
440 00:16:19 We were wondering why he wasn'tin the first-class lounge.
441 00:16:21 Oh, yes, yes.
442 00:16:24 Who was that?
443 00:16:25 God damn it!
444 00:16:26 Max, there's a whole room ofpeople to help you out here.
445 00:16:27 - Use us.- Good point.
446 00:16:29 He was the Incredible Hulk.
447 00:16:31 Eric Bana.
448 00:16:32 - Other one.- Uh, Mark Ruffalo.
449 00:16:34 - Other one.- Lou Ferrigno.
450 00:16:36 Holy shit! Primal Fear.
451 00:16:38 Richard Gere never playedthe Incredible Hulk.
452 00:16:39 - Time.- Motherfucking Ed Norton!
453 00:16:42 Oh!
454 00:16:43 Primal Fear!
455 00:16:44 Oh, my God!
456 00:16:45 He was the Hulk.
457 00:16:47 - The Hulk.- I forgot that.
458 00:16:48 Max. Zero points.
459 00:16:50 I'd say he blew it,but he won't tell us, will he?
460 00:16:56 Shit! Did you?
461 00:16:57 I can't believeI didn't get Bob Barker.
462 00:17:00 Hey, guys!
463 00:17:01 What do you say we do thisat my house next week?
464 00:17:03 - House? What house?- Ooh. Really?
465 00:17:04 Since I don't knowhow long
466 00:17:05 I'm gonna be here,I rented a place.
467 00:17:07 It's only a couple miles away.
468 00:17:08 You know,it's up on Broadmoor.
469 00:17:10 Ooh! Swanky neighborhood.
470 00:17:11 It's a very cool house.But it's just me there alone.
471 00:17:14 It'd be greatto have you guys come over.
472 00:17:17 Oh, well,it's kind of a tradition
473 00:17:19 to have game nights here.
474 00:17:20 But you know what?
475 00:17:22 Let's let him show offhis big house, huh?
476 00:17:24 That's the spirit!
477 00:17:25 Trust me,
478 00:17:28 this will be a game nightto remember.
479 00:17:32 - Oh, boy.- Mmm.
480 00:17:33 - Promise?- Good night, everybody.
481 00:17:35 I love you much. Drive safely.
482 00:17:37 - Kisses!- All right.
483 00:17:38 - Take it easy.- Bye.
484 00:17:39 That little motherfucker.
485 00:17:43 Whoa!
486 00:17:44 Well, I mean, come on.
487 00:17:46 We don't see himin over a year.
488 00:17:48 He shows upin your dream car,
489 00:17:51 insults our house,
490 00:17:52 and then tells an embarrassingstory about you,
491 00:17:54 right before your turn justto throw you off your game.
492 00:17:56 Welcome to my whole life.
493 00:17:58 Why are you suddenlyso worked up about it?
494 00:17:59 Well, 'cause now he's messingwith your balls
495 00:18:01 and literally killingmillions of our babies.
496 00:18:03 Well,that's a little dramatic,
497 00:18:05 but, yeah, you know.I mean, that's Brooks.
498 00:18:07 I thought that this was justregular old brother stuff,
499 00:18:09 - but I totally see it now.- Mmm-mmm.
500 00:18:11 He undermines youevery chance he gets.
501 00:18:13 Yeah. Yeah.
502 00:18:14 - It's crazy!- Thank you, Annie.
503 00:18:16 I've never wona single game against him.
504 00:18:18 I just... I think we gottafix this Brooks thing.
505 00:18:23 - Fix it?- Yeah.
506 00:18:25 What are you suggesting?
507 00:18:26 I'm suggestingwe beat his ass.
508 00:18:28 Jesus Christ.
509 00:18:31 Good evening.
510 00:18:33 We're gonna skip the cleanup?
511 00:18:41 Sure you don't wannatake a Lyft?
512 00:18:42 No, no. I am not gettingdrunk tonight.
513 00:18:44 - Good evening!- I'm gonna stay alert and ready.
514 00:18:46 Jesus, Gary!
515 00:18:48 Where are you headed?
516 00:18:49 We are going to, uh,to my brother's.
517 00:18:52 Another game night?
518 00:18:54 No. No, absolutely not.
519 00:18:57 We're going to, um,
520 00:19:00 - have some dinner.- Eat.
521 00:19:02 I see.
522 00:19:04 Pity. I was goingto invite you over
523 00:19:06 for a dinner I'm hosting.
524 00:19:08 I've purchasedfour lamb shanks
525 00:19:11 that I've been simmeringin a broth
526 00:19:13 of red wine and rosemary.
527 00:19:16 - That sounds so yummy, though.- Damn it.
528 00:19:19 It was actuallyDebbie's recipe.
529 00:19:23 I like to think she leftbehind her recipe cards
530 00:19:27 as a gesture of goodwill,
531 00:19:28 but it was most likelyan unintentional oversight.
532 00:19:40 Well, here we go.
533 00:19:44 What?
534 00:19:46 I'm sorry?
535 00:19:48 I thought you said something.
536 00:19:50 - No.- Nope, not us.
537 00:19:53 Okay.
538 00:19:57 Have fun.
539 00:20:02 Oh, fuck me.
540 00:20:04 A guy who rents a housethis big
541 00:20:06 must be making upfor something
542 00:20:08 pretty small, I'd say.
543 00:20:09 No, no. No, I've seen his dick.It's pretty great.
544 00:20:12 Well, I tried.
545 00:20:15 - Hey!- Hey!
546 00:20:17 - Hey!- How are you doing, beautiful?
547 00:20:18 - Good, good. Really fancy.- Very nice house, Tony Stark.
548 00:20:20 Should we give our drinkorders to JARVIS?
549 00:20:23 No, I got the Tony Stark part,
550 00:20:25 but then you wentfull nerd on me.
551 00:20:26 I kinda lost you,but please do come in.
552 00:20:28 - All right.- Thanks, Cap.
553 00:20:29 - Hi, guys!- What's up?
554 00:20:31 Boy, could sleep fouron that couch. Look at that.
555 00:20:35 Oh, hello, friends.
556 00:20:37 Hey, let me introduce youto my date. This is Sarah.
557 00:20:40 Sarah is head of companyaccounting at our office.
558 00:20:42 Well,corporate communications.
559 00:20:44 And she's also British,
560 00:20:45 which meansshe's smart as shit.
561 00:20:47 - I'm Irish.- Okay? Same island.
562 00:20:48 Well, it's really not.
563 00:20:50 - Nice to meet you. Hi.- Nice to meet you, too.
564 00:20:51 - I'm Max.- Annie.
565 00:20:52 So, you can'talways judge a book
566 00:20:53 by its past covers, can you?
567 00:20:55 - Mmm.- Almost a saying.
568 00:20:57 - Here you go.- Hey, Brooks.
569 00:20:58 - Cheers.- We didn't know
570 00:21:00 if you had any games,so we thought
571 00:21:01 we'd bring youa few of our favorites.
572 00:21:03 Hey, look at that.
573 00:21:04 Whoa!
574 00:21:06 - Huh.- The poor games.
575 00:21:08 I told youwe're taking it up a notch.
576 00:21:10 The game that we're gonnaplay tonight is so epic
577 00:21:13 that we don't need a board,and we do not need pieces.
578 00:21:15 Still didn't needto throw them across the room.
579 00:21:17 I was being theatrical.
580 00:21:19 Holy shit!Are we doing a fight club?
581 00:21:21 A what?
582 00:21:22 It's when rich people pay poorpeople to fight each other...
583 00:21:24 Hey, hey, hey!Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.
584 00:21:25 Stop withthe fight club, okay.
585 00:21:26 - It's nonsense.- No.
586 00:21:28 Ryan believeseverything he reads.
587 00:21:29 Thank you.
588 00:21:30 So, what are we playing?
589 00:21:36 In the next hour,
590 00:21:37 someone in this roomis going to be taken,
591 00:21:40 and it's gonna be up to youto find them
592 00:21:42 before they are murdered.
593 00:21:44 Oh! It's a murdermystery party.
594 00:21:46 Not justany murder mystery.
595 00:21:47 I found this company.They do it super real.
596 00:21:49 They use legit actors.
597 00:21:51 You're not gonna knowwhat's real and what's fake.
598 00:21:54 - Fun!- But that's not all.
599 00:21:56 Because whoeverfinds the victim
600 00:21:58 wins the grand prize.
601 00:22:02 The keys to the Stingray.
602 00:22:04 - What?- Wow.
603 00:22:05 Just the keys?
604 00:22:08 No, Ryan, the whole car.
605 00:22:09 Oh, yes! Oh, man!
606 00:22:11 You're so lucky I brought youto this game night
607 00:22:13 - and not one of Max and Annie's.- Hey!
608 00:22:16 No, I just mean'cause this is better.
609 00:22:17 Oh.
610 00:22:19 You're not gonna actuallygive away your car?
611 00:22:20 Oh, it's just a tax write-off.
612 00:22:22 And the Audi,it's more practical.
613 00:22:25 Yeah, that makes sense to me.
614 00:22:27 Okay. How do we start?
615 00:22:29 We just wait for it to begin.
616 00:22:31 Maybe play a drinking gameto pass the time?
617 00:22:33 This group does not playdrinking games.
618 00:22:36 Tonight we do, Max.
619 00:22:38 - Oh. "Never Have I Ever."- Good one!
620 00:22:40 Can you believethis guy?
621 00:22:42 Yeah,he's ridiculous.
622 00:22:44 Beautiful house, though.
623 00:22:45 Good champagne.
624 00:22:51 Here we go.
625 00:22:54 Yup. We're at the house.
626 00:22:57 We'll let you knowwhen we have him.
627 00:23:15 Jesus Christ!
628 00:23:17 What's with that knife?
629 00:23:19 It's for the cheese.
630 00:23:21 Okay, all right.Just, you know,
631 00:23:24 really aggressive wayto carry a knife.
632 00:23:26 Oh no, I've got one.
633 00:23:27 Never have I everconnected my work computer
634 00:23:31 to the projectorin the conference room
635 00:23:32 when it was openon a WebMD page
636 00:23:35 for chlamydia symptoms.
637 00:23:36 - That's not cool!- Drink!
638 00:23:39 Just for the record,I did not have chlamydia.
639 00:23:41 It was pubic dermatitis.
640 00:23:42 You get it fromnot washing your crotch.
641 00:23:44 - Okay.- Good for you.
642 00:23:45 I... I like her.
643 00:23:47 Listen, you're not supposed tosingle people out in this game.
644 00:23:50 It's supposed to begeneric things, like,
645 00:23:52 "Never have I ever sleptwith a celebrity."
646 00:23:54 Oh, I didn't know. Okay.
647 00:23:56 Whoops.
648 00:23:57 - Mmm?- Ooh.
649 00:24:01 What?
650 00:24:02 You slept with a celebrity?
651 00:24:04 No, I was taking a drinkseparate from the game.
652 00:24:06 - That was bad timing.- Mmm.
653 00:24:08 I see how you wouldthink, but it's not.
654 00:24:10 Well, then whyare you breathing
655 00:24:11 like you just got offthe elliptical?
656 00:24:13 I'm not. I'm...
657 00:24:15 Come on, babe.Whose turn is it?
658 00:24:17 Uh, it's Max.Max, it's your turn. Huh?
659 00:24:20 I'm not playing a drinkinggame. Who was it?
660 00:24:22 What's the deal with that?
661 00:24:23 They've beentogether since middle school.
662 00:24:25 Uh, it's somebodyelse's turn.
663 00:24:26 - Oh. Oh!- Yeah!
664 00:24:27 How could you possibly havehad sex with a celebrity
665 00:24:29 when we've only had sexwith each other?
666 00:24:30 Please, can you not make thisone of your things right now?
667 00:24:33 How is this one of my things?
668 00:24:34 Yeah, Brooks, this is whywe don't play drinking games.
669 00:24:40 It looks likethe game is afoot.
670 00:24:43 Oh!
671 00:24:44 Thank you, God!
672 00:24:45 Oh, boy.Let's buckle up, huh?
673 00:24:50 - Brooks Davis?- Yes.
674 00:24:53 - Oh, shit.- Ooh!
675 00:24:54 This is good.
676 00:24:57 Agent Henderson.
677 00:24:59 FBI.
678 00:25:00 Sunglasses at night.It's legit.
679 00:25:03 Sit down, please.
680 00:25:06 I'll get right to the point.
681 00:25:07 The Bureau has been tracking
682 00:25:10 a ringof violent kidnappers
683 00:25:12 in this very neighborhood.
684 00:25:15 And we have reason to believethat one of you
685 00:25:20 may be their next victim.
686 00:25:23 That's terrible news.
687 00:25:24 Contained withinthese dossiers
688 00:25:27 are the clues you will requireto find the kidnappers.
689 00:25:31 You'd like for usto do that, yeah?
690 00:25:34 The Bureau's... What'sthe Bureau's role in this?
691 00:25:36 Maybe you guys could takemy wife in for questioning
692 00:25:38 because, apparently,she got a secret life
693 00:25:39 - I don't know nothing about.- Baby, this is...
694 00:25:41 Shut up, all of you!
695 00:25:43 Wow.
696 00:25:45 It's not a joke.
697 00:25:47 You people are in real danger,
698 00:25:48 and you'rerunning out of time.
699 00:25:50 And I, Agent Henderson,will not stand idly by
700 00:25:53 while innocent civiliansare slaughtered on my watch.
701 00:25:58 I told youthis is gonna be great.
702 00:25:59 - It's so good!- So good.
703 00:26:01 But before we get started,
704 00:26:02 I'm required to ask if any ofyou have any food allergies.
705 00:26:05 Peanuts?
706 00:26:07 Who the hell are you?
707 00:26:08 Oh!
708 00:26:10 Now, wait a second. I knowyou're method and all,
709 00:26:12 but you can't just come in hereand break the door.
710 00:26:13 I do not mind this game.
711 00:26:16 Are you crazy?
712 00:26:32 It's very well done.
713 00:26:36 No!
714 00:26:37 That is a strong table.
715 00:26:40 Oh, watch out!He's packing heat!
716 00:26:42 Hell no!
717 00:26:48 Oh! Oh!
718 00:27:14 Come on!
719 00:27:28 You're just makingthis harder on yourself!
720 00:27:34 Oh, shit!
721 00:27:35 Guys, make sure you get a pieceof this cheese. It's just...
722 00:27:38 Cut me one.
723 00:27:39 Try it with the quince.
724 00:27:48 Oh, my God!
725 00:27:50 Now he's back.
726 00:27:51 Stop fighting, asshole!
727 00:27:53 Help me! This isn't...
728 00:27:54 The Independent Spirit Awardgoes to...
729 00:27:56 Let's go!
730 00:27:59 Bye-bye!
731 00:28:00 First one that follows usgets shot!
732 00:28:01 Okay, roger that.You drive safe.
733 00:28:03 Come on,motherfucker!
734 00:28:05 - Bye.- That was amazing.
735 00:28:06 Really good.
736 00:28:07 - That was really good.- Wow.
737 00:28:09 Mmm. No, there's somethingabout this
738 00:28:11 that just doesn't feel right.
739 00:28:13 How could you cheat on mewith a celebrity?
740 00:28:16 I didn't cheat on you.
741 00:28:17 It was before we got marriedwhen we took that break.
742 00:28:20 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
743 00:28:22 I've been livingin the matrix.
744 00:28:24 Agent Henderson, you justgonna keep lying there?
745 00:28:27 Is any of this real?
746 00:28:28 Well, don't kick him!
747 00:28:30 Stop.
748 00:28:31 He's a regularDaniel Day-Lewis.
749 00:28:32 I thoughtwe both agreed
750 00:28:34 that we wouldn't hook up withanybody else during that break.
751 00:28:36 Yeah, but then you went and gota hand job from Karen Waller.
752 00:28:39 - No, don't do that.- Boop! Boop! Boop!
753 00:28:41 Because it was overthe pants, all right?
754 00:28:43 It was, and it hurt.
755 00:28:44 It was very dry,and I didn't climax.
756 00:28:46 Just admit it,you guys did more than that.
757 00:28:48 Don't turn this around on me.Do not do that.
758 00:28:50 Don't you Johnnie Cochran me!
759 00:28:52 Damn it,they got the jump on us.
760 00:28:53 - Come on. Come on now!- Shit, Kev!
761 00:28:55 All right. Here's the firstclue. Looks like a riddle.
762 00:28:57 "With shiny fangs..."
763 00:28:58 "...my bloodless bite..."
764 00:29:00 "...will bring together what'smostly white."
765 00:29:03 Donald Trump.
766 00:29:05 "Bloodless bite."It's not a vampire. Um...
767 00:29:09 I'll just google it.
768 00:29:10 It's so inconsistent,isn't it?
769 00:29:12 I mean, they stage thissuper realistic fight.
770 00:29:14 They give us an FBI dossierbut with riddles.
771 00:29:16 It's like, let's pick a tone.Let's stick with it.
772 00:29:18 But that's the game.You wanna win this car or not?
773 00:29:20 Yeah, yeah.More than anything,
774 00:29:22 but I feel like Brooksis setting me up.
775 00:29:23 Do you get that feeling,you know?
776 00:29:25 That this is some game
777 00:29:27 where somehowhe's gonna humiliate me?
778 00:29:31 Mmm-hmm.
779 00:29:33 Well, let's not playby his rules.
780 00:29:36 "My bloodless bite,my bloodless, bloodless bite.
781 00:29:38 "Bloodless bite, bloodlessbite, bloodless bite."
782 00:29:40 Can you stop chanting"bloodless bite"?
783 00:29:43 - Trying to think.- Yeah.
784 00:29:45 Oh, shit!
785 00:29:48 Max and Annie must havefigured it out.
786 00:29:51 Right. We need to findan advantage.
787 00:29:53 Advantage, advantage,advantage...
788 00:29:57 Brooks' wallet?
789 00:29:58 Oh, you think we should stealall of his shit!
790 00:30:01 No.
791 00:30:05 Wait.
792 00:30:06 Hi, yeah.I lost my credit card.
793 00:30:08 I was wondering if you could tell mewhat the last few charges I made were.
794 00:30:10 What are you doing?
795 00:30:12 If we can find out the name of themurder mystery place he used,
796 00:30:14 we can go to their office and paythem off to give us the final clue.
797 00:30:16 Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
798 00:30:17 You're, like, a double threat.Brains, and you're British.
799 00:30:23 Thanks.
800 00:30:24 Okay. What has shiny fangs
801 00:30:26 that biteswhite things together?
802 00:30:29 A stapler!
803 00:30:30 And the white thingsare paper.
804 00:30:33 Yes! You are so smartand unfaithful!
805 00:30:36 - Oh, there it is.- Yes!
806 00:30:39 Look at that.
807 00:30:41 - Flash drive.- Put it in the desktop.
808 00:30:46 Okay.
809 00:30:47 Another riddle.
810 00:30:49 "I'm brown and old by day,white and young by night.
811 00:30:52 "My eyes are glass.
812 00:30:53 "I have nine facesbut no head.
813 00:30:55 "I sing to the skybut have no voice.
814 00:30:57 "I'm everywhere and nowhere."
815 00:31:01 What the fuck is that?
816 00:31:04 I mean, how coolare we? Right?
817 00:31:06 Very, very cool.We are very cool.
818 00:31:07 You're the cool one.
819 00:31:09 You know, tracking the phoneis just a great idea.
820 00:31:11 Still on Route 18, huh?
821 00:31:13 We're catching up to him.Here we come, Brooksie.
822 00:31:15 Can you imaginethe look on his face
823 00:31:16 when we find him so fast?
824 00:31:17 You know, baby,I can feel my sperm
825 00:31:20 already coming back to life.
826 00:31:21 - Perfect.- Yeah.
827 00:31:22 So we'll winyour brother's car,
828 00:31:24 and then we'll go makea baby in it.
829 00:31:25 Yeah! We'll make him watch us.
830 00:31:27 - Yeah.- Huh?
831 00:31:29 - I don't wanna do that.- No, me neither.
832 00:31:30 Sorry, don't knowwhy I said that.
833 00:31:32 - I'm not into that.- Not a great idea.
834 00:31:33 Okay.
835 00:31:34 Okay, great. Thank you.All right, I got the name
836 00:31:36 and the addressof the games company.
837 00:31:37 - Let's go.- Yes!
838 00:31:38 All we have to do now,
839 00:31:39 figure out what"bloodless bite" means.
840 00:31:41 No, we don't. That's why...
841 00:31:44 - Oh, yeah, no. Yeah, no.- Doesn't matter. Let's go.
842 00:31:46 How you gonnabe old and young?
843 00:31:48 - That doesn't make sense.- I know.
844 00:31:50 Guys, hey, how's it goin'?
845 00:31:53 I just wanted to wish youthe best of luck tonight. Bye.
846 00:31:59 - No.- Mmm-mmm.
847 00:32:00 What are...What are you doing?
848 00:32:02 Just being a dick.
849 00:32:04 Oh, come on.
850 00:32:06 - Don't kick him, Ryan!- He's such a good actor!
851 00:32:08 Ryan!
852 00:32:10 God damn it!
853 00:32:12 Baby, hand me those matches.
854 00:32:14 I'm about to burnthis door down.
855 00:32:15 You're gonna light a fire
856 00:32:16 in a windowless roomthat we're trapped in?
857 00:32:18 You slept with Bill Nyethe Science Guy.
858 00:32:19 He talked to you about flames?
859 00:32:20 What about that?
860 00:32:36 Where could he be?
861 00:32:38 His phone stoppedright here, huh?
862 00:32:43 - Hear that?- Yeah.
863 00:32:46 Ugh.
864 00:32:47 Found it!
865 00:32:49 He must have knownwe were tracking him.
866 00:32:50 Well, they outsmarted us.
867 00:32:54 Hang on.
868 00:32:57 Isn't that one of the actors?
869 00:32:59 Guess they're notso smart after all, huh?
870 00:33:01 Guess not.We are nailing this!
871 00:33:05 Why are we crouching?
872 00:33:07 I don't know. It feels right.
873 00:33:12 Oh, it's horrible in here.
874 00:33:14 Yeah, it's sticky.Shoes are shot.
875 00:33:17 Ooh. There he is, there he is.
876 00:33:18 Don't let him see you.Come on.
877 00:33:19 Sit down right here.
878 00:33:21 Bartender, sir,can I ask you a question?
879 00:33:23 Um...
880 00:33:24 You, um...
881 00:33:26 You didn't happen to seea fellow brought in here,
882 00:33:28 looks a little bit like me,
883 00:33:30 but he's got a little bitof a sharper chin
884 00:33:32 and higher cheekbones?
885 00:33:33 So, a better-looking guy?
886 00:33:35 No, well,I wouldn't call it that.
887 00:33:37 I didn't see nothing.
888 00:33:40 - Oh, boy. You hear that?- Huh. Yeah.
889 00:33:42 That double negative?"Didn't see nothing"?
890 00:33:44 - It's a little forced, right?- Yeah, I think he's in on it.
891 00:33:45 - 'Course he is.- Look at those tats.
892 00:33:47 So fresh, probably fake.
893 00:33:49 Tell you what.Let's give him a test, okay?
894 00:33:51 Let's order a couple of drinks
895 00:33:53 that only a real bartenderwould know how to make.
896 00:33:54 - Right?- Oh! Smart! Yes.
897 00:33:56 - Sir! Excuse me. Hi.- Barkeep.
898 00:33:57 Totally forgotto order drinks.
899 00:33:59 Yes, uh...
900 00:34:01 Could I please havea vodka tonic?
901 00:34:05 Well done, honey.
902 00:34:06 I'm gonna havea Harvey Wallbanger.
903 00:34:09 Okay? Appreciate it.
904 00:34:11 Jesus! Did you see that look?
905 00:34:13 Guy doesn't knowwhat's going on.
906 00:34:14 Think you stumped him.
907 00:34:15 Some regional theater hack.
908 00:34:17 Huh?
909 00:34:19 - Well, this is kind of fun, isn't it?- Yeah.
910 00:34:22 It's niceto get out of the house.
911 00:34:24 You know, we're not gonna be able todo stuff like this if we have kids.
912 00:34:26 - What?- Yeah.
913 00:34:27 - Why not?- Well, I don't know.
914 00:34:29 I was thinking about it.Remember Dan and Linda?
915 00:34:30 Remember how much timewe used to spend with them?
916 00:34:32 Just tons of fun, and thenthey had those twins.
917 00:34:35 Boom! Off the grid, right?
918 00:34:37 Last time we saw them
919 00:34:38 was their Christmas cardwith the wonky kids on it.
920 00:34:40 Yeah, I love those Christmas cards.They look so happy.
921 00:34:43 But you know what I mean.
922 00:34:45 - We don't see 'em.- Vodka tonic.
923 00:34:47 Harvey Wallbanger.
924 00:34:49 - Appreciate it.- Thank you.
925 00:34:50 Cheers.
926 00:34:55 - Did he get it right?- Huh.
927 00:34:56 I do not know. I realized I'venever had one of these,
928 00:34:58 but that is a tasty drink.It's kind of tart.
929 00:35:01 You wanna try it?Oh! Honey!
930 00:35:02 Honey! There's Brooks!
931 00:35:04 Brooks is here.Brooks is here.
932 00:35:05 We're about to win this thing!
933 00:35:07 - Yes, yes!- Look who came in here.
934 00:35:09 Oh! No! I think he made us.
935 00:35:11 So what? It's over. What, arethey gonna try to stop us?
936 00:35:13 - Let's go.- Yeah, probably.
937 00:35:15 But that's why I brought this.
938 00:35:18 Jesus Christ, honey!Where did you get a gun?
939 00:35:19 No, no, that's the fake gunfrom Brooks' fight.
940 00:35:22 Oh, yeah.Boy, that looks real.
941 00:35:23 - Yeah, well, you know...- Look at that.
942 00:35:25 Brooks never sparesany expense.
943 00:35:26 - Yeah, that's true.- Okay. Follow my lead, huh?
944 00:35:28 - Why, what are you doing?- Lead?
945 00:35:30 Any of youfucking pricks move,
946 00:35:33 and I'll execute everymotherfucking last one of you!
947 00:35:37 Very nice, honey.
948 00:35:38 Pulp Fiction, anybody?Right? It's a classic.
949 00:35:40 We love films.
950 00:35:41 Okay, what the fuckis this shit?
951 00:35:43 Well, you're gonnahand over the keys
952 00:35:44 'cause we're gonna takemy brother.
953 00:35:46 - Bullshit.- Oh, you know what's bullshit
954 00:35:47 is your bald, ugly face.
955 00:35:49 Uh-uh. No, that's personal.
956 00:35:51 Come on, honey,let's just keep it fun.
957 00:35:52 All right, I'm sorry I calledyou bald, you little bitch!
958 00:35:54 Well, that's,again, you know...
959 00:35:56 - Let the gun do the talking.- Okay.
960 00:35:57 - Come on.- Ah!
961 00:35:58 On your knees. Hands inthe air. Heads on the ground.
962 00:36:01 - Good. Good. Great.- Eyes closed.
963 00:36:02 That's it.Get 'em up, reach for it.
964 00:36:03 - Hands up! That's right.- There we go.
965 00:36:05 - All right, hands in the air!- Get 'em up!
966 00:36:07 - Yep.- Yo, where's my head go?
967 00:36:09 - Down.- On the floor.
968 00:36:10 Just rest it.
969 00:36:11 How am I supposedto put my hands in the air
970 00:36:13 - with my head on the ground?- Fucking exactly.
971 00:36:14 I did have the same question.
972 00:36:17 Child's pose?Do you guys know child's pose?
973 00:36:20 Fuck is a child's pose, man?
974 00:36:21 You've never done yoga?
975 00:36:22 - Okay, wow.- No?
976 00:36:24 - Cover me.- Show 'em, baby.
977 00:36:26 - All right. Arms out.- Here she comes.
978 00:36:27 Knees apart if you haveback problems.
979 00:36:29 And if you'redoing it right,
980 00:36:31 you're really gonna feel thatlumbar opening up back there.
981 00:36:33 Let's put your head down.
982 00:36:35 Come on. I don't wanna haveto use this. Okay?
983 00:36:38 Okay.
984 00:36:40 Can't you just tell mewho it was?
985 00:36:41 I know you, Kev.If I tell you,
986 00:36:43 you'll just obsessabout it even more.
987 00:36:44 Okay, fine. How about this?
988 00:36:46 If I guess it right,you tell me.
989 00:36:48 Fine.
990 00:36:49 Was it an actor?
991 00:36:50 Yes. That tower is unstable.
992 00:36:52 I'm not stable!Was he over 40?
993 00:36:54 Yes. Be careful.
994 00:36:55 Okay. American?
995 00:36:57 Yes.
996 00:37:01 It's Tommy Lee Jones.
997 00:37:03 What? Ew. No.
998 00:37:06 Denzel? Was it Denzel?Denzel Washington?
999 00:37:09 It wasn't, unfortunately.
1000 00:37:11 Thank God.
1001 00:37:13 Um... Be careful.
1002 00:37:14 Oh! Sweet freedom.
1003 00:37:17 Oh, my...
1004 00:37:18 You see, this dumbass thoughthe can keep us locked in here.
1005 00:37:21 But guess what?You can't lock us in here!
1006 00:37:24 You see, hate put us in here!
1007 00:37:26 Okay, baby.
1008 00:37:27 But love is gonna bust us out!
1009 00:37:28 Oh, my God!
1010 00:37:32 Oh, my God!
1011 00:37:33 Kev... Kev, are you okay?
1012 00:37:35 Baby, I fell down.
1013 00:37:45 There it is.
1014 00:37:47 Yes, I'm so gladI invited you tonight!
1015 00:37:51 Yeah, me too.
1016 00:37:52 I usually bring these girlsI wanna sleep with,
1017 00:37:54 and they just suck!
1018 00:37:55 You're likea breath of fresh air.
1019 00:37:58 Aw, thanks.
1020 00:38:00 I usually go out with men
1021 00:38:01 I find interestingand non-stupid,
1022 00:38:02 so this is a bit newfor me, too.
1023 00:38:03 Whoa!
1024 00:38:05 Are we cool?
1025 00:38:06 Did I say something wrong?
1026 00:38:08 No.
1027 00:38:09 No, I mean I was wondering whyyou asked me along tonight,
1028 00:38:12 and now I know youjust needed a ringer, so...
1029 00:38:14 Oh, did you...
1030 00:38:15 You thought this was a date?I didn't...
1031 00:38:17 No, actually.Well, I was hoping it wasn't.
1032 00:38:21 Then why are youwearing lipstick?
1033 00:38:23 - I'm not.- Yeah, you are.
1034 00:38:24 What are you...
1035 00:38:26 You can't toucha girl's mouth.
1036 00:38:27 Why? Are you scared I'mgonna smear your lipstick...
1037 00:38:29 Oh, my God! You bit me!
1038 00:38:31 Yeah, and I'll bite you again.
1039 00:38:32 There's lipstick on here.
1040 00:38:33 Oh, shut up!
1041 00:38:34 I see you wiping offthat date lipstick!
1042 00:38:39 Ow!
1043 00:38:40 That really hurt a little bit.
1044 00:38:43 Hello?
1045 00:38:45 Hello?
1046 00:38:54 Um, excuse me?
1047 00:39:00 Yeah, okay.
1048 00:39:02 Um...
1049 00:39:03 Hello?
1050 00:39:08 Oh, oh! Oh, shit!
1051 00:39:13 Holy shit!
1052 00:39:15 My God!
1053 00:39:16 Come on! Bloody hell!
1054 00:39:18 - What?- Phew!
1055 00:39:20 You guys scared me so bad.What are you doing?
1056 00:39:23 What the fuck is that?
1057 00:39:24 Oh. Well, I just came froma six-hour murder mystery
1058 00:39:28 where I played the corpse.
1059 00:39:29 I must have dozed off beforeI had a chance to clean up.
1060 00:39:31 Well, you scaredthe shit out of us.
1061 00:39:34 Really? Thank you.
1062 00:39:35 Actually that means a lot'cause I do my own makeup.
1063 00:39:37 What kind of partyhas a pregnant corpse?
1064 00:39:39 No, I'm actually pregnant,this isn't part of it.
1065 00:39:42 This is just...
1066 00:39:43 Oh!
1067 00:39:44 - Congrats.- Thank you!
1068 00:39:46 Um, we want youto give us the final clue
1069 00:39:48 to the murder mysteryBrooks Davis ordered.
1070 00:39:52 Oh, my gosh.But that would ruin the fun.
1071 00:39:54 We don't want the fun.We just wanna win.
1072 00:39:57 Yeah, I can't do that.
1073 00:40:10 This change your mind?
1074 00:40:17 No.
1075 00:40:20 Don't...
1076 00:40:21 What about this?
1077 00:40:32 Mmm.
1078 00:40:34 You drive a hard bargain.Okay.
1079 00:40:35 Let's take it up a notch.
1080 00:40:51 I was hoping I wasn'tgonna have to dig this deep,
1081 00:40:53 but okay.
1082 00:40:55 Final offer.
1083 00:41:04 You know what?It doesn't matter
1084 00:41:05 how slowly you slide it over!
1085 00:41:07 Okay? It's $17!How much do you want?
1086 00:41:10 Um, I don't know.Probably 100.
1087 00:41:12 Give her 100.
1088 00:41:13 I don't have 100.
1089 00:41:16 How much have you got?
1090 00:41:18 - $17.- $17?
1091 00:41:22 You brought $17 out?
1092 00:41:27 Nice!
1093 00:41:29 - Thank you!- Cool.
1094 00:41:30 Oh! So you're justgonna keep it. I gotcha.
1095 00:41:32 Stay back!
1096 00:41:34 Hey, buddy,can you just give us
1097 00:41:36 the answerto the second riddle
1098 00:41:37 'cause we're way behind.
1099 00:41:38 Don't you get it?
1100 00:41:39 That was notsupposed to happen.
1101 00:41:43 Oh, what now? You guys alreadydid the breaking-in thing.
1102 00:41:45 Shut up! And get on the floor,all of you!
1103 00:41:48 Whoa! Ron, you okay?
1104 00:41:51 No, Nathan, I'm not okay.
1105 00:41:53 Two guys came in hereand attacked me.
1106 00:41:56 - Oh, my God.- I know!
1107 00:41:58 And I quit Disney Cruisesfor this bullshit.
1108 00:42:01 "Look in your jacket pocket."
1109 00:42:03 We can check, but thatdoesn't make any sense.
1110 00:42:05 I'm not wearing a jacket.
1111 00:42:06 Maybe it means a,like a book jacket.
1112 00:42:09 Why would a bookhave a jacket?
1113 00:42:13 Murder We Wrote.
1114 00:42:14 Glenda, something terriblehas happened.
1115 00:42:16 - What?- Nathan and I showed up for the take away,
1116 00:42:18 and Ron had been attacked.
1117 00:42:20 - Where? At the Brooks Davis house?- Yes.
1118 00:42:23 - Huh?- What?
1119 00:42:25 Is everyone okay?
1120 00:42:26 No, no.I'm not okay, Glenda!
1121 00:42:28 I have a throbbing headache,and they took the host!
1122 00:42:32 - Who took him?- Kidnappers!
1123 00:42:33 Real ones!Dangerous fucking criminals!
1124 00:42:47 ♪ I'm packed and I'm holding
1125 00:42:48 ♪ I'm smiling, she's living,she's golden
1126 00:42:50 ♪ She lives for me
1127 00:42:51 - Sing it to the mic.- Jesus!
1128 00:42:53 No.
1129 00:42:54 ♪ Her own motivation
1130 00:42:55 ♪ She goes round,and she goes down on me
1131 00:42:57 And you, Tats?
1132 00:42:58 You got something to say?No? Boop.
1133 00:43:02 ♪ Coming over you
1134 00:43:03 ♪ Keep on smiling,what we go through
1135 00:43:04 ♪ One stop to the rhythmthat divides you ♪
1136 00:43:07 I see you eyeing that,Ponytail. Not on my watch!
1137 00:43:10 Bingo! Bingo! I got 'em, baby.Let's do this.
1138 00:43:12 Yes! Okay.
1139 00:43:16 Hey, hey, Brooks!
1140 00:43:17 - Guess who it is!- Oh!
1141 00:43:20 Ready? Hello!
1142 00:43:23 - Look at that face!- Oh, shit.
1143 00:43:25 - You did not expect us this early, did ya?- That is priceless!
1144 00:43:27 I've gotta capturethis moment.
1145 00:43:28 Honey, get in there.
1146 00:43:30 We'll take a quicklittle selfie here
1147 00:43:31 and send it off to the losers.One, two, three.
1148 00:43:34 Cheese!
1149 00:43:35 Ha!
1150 00:43:37 Perfect.Oh, speak of the devil.
1151 00:43:38 There's Ryan now, probablycalling begging for help.
1152 00:43:40 - Ugh!- Ignore.
1153 00:43:41 This is not a game, Max!
1154 00:43:43 Jesus! Guys,it's a wrap in here, okay?
1155 00:43:47 Show's over!
1156 00:43:48 Listen, I'm not a venturecapitalist. I'm a smuggler!
1157 00:43:50 A smuggler?
1158 00:43:51 Yeah,I made a mistake.
1159 00:43:52 I sold The Bulgarian's eggto a different guy.
1160 00:43:54 And I have to get it backto him, or he's gonna kill me!
1161 00:43:56 "The Bulgarian's egg"?
1162 00:43:57 Wasn't that the thirdHarry Potter book?
1163 00:43:59 Wait, I'm confused.
1164 00:44:00 So this isn't the endof this whole thing?
1165 00:44:01 No, it is the end, okay?
1166 00:44:02 You said, whoever catches yougets the car.
1167 00:44:04 We found you, we get the car.Game over.
1168 00:44:07 No! I'm telling you!This is all real!
1169 00:44:09 The shitty actorsare real? Come on.
1170 00:44:10 How about that ridiculousfight? Was that real?
1171 00:44:13 Is this gun real?
1172 00:44:14 Oh, no, Annie!
1173 00:44:15 Oh, no. Oh, no.Bang, bang.
1174 00:44:20 Ow!
1175 00:44:29 Blood!
1176 00:44:30 Oh, my God! I shot you!
1177 00:44:33 You fucking shot me!
1178 00:44:35 Cut me loosebefore we all get shot!
1179 00:44:37 Come on, untie me!
1180 00:44:38 - Get me out of here!- Oh, God!
1181 00:44:41 Help me. Help!
1182 00:44:42 Oh, my God!
1183 00:44:43 Go out! Go, go, go!
1184 00:44:44 What the fuckdid you do to me?
1185 00:44:46 - Come on, come on, come on.- God damn it!
1186 00:44:48 - Hey!- Where are the guns?
1187 00:44:49 - Here, here!- Go!
1188 00:44:52 You shot me.
1189 00:44:53 I know, I feel terrible.
1190 00:44:55 - Come on, man!- Go! Go, go!
1191 00:44:56 Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1192 00:44:57 Come on, bitch!
1193 00:44:59 - Oh, my God!- Move your ass!
1194 00:45:00 - Honey, get in!- Go, go!
1195 00:45:02 Go, go, go!
1196 00:45:04 Holy shit!
1197 00:45:07 Hold up!Hold up, motherfucker!
1198 00:45:11 - God damn it!- Man, come on!
1199 00:45:15 Brooks, what the fuck is goingon with you? Start talking!
1200 00:45:18 I've lied to you andthe family about what I do.
1201 00:45:20 I buy and I sell illegal shit
1202 00:45:22 for peopleon the black market.
1203 00:45:23 Really?So you're a criminal?
1204 00:45:24 Oh, my God!They're following us!
1205 00:45:27 But I made a mistakebecause there's this guy,
1206 00:45:29 they call him The Bulgarian.
1207 00:45:31 He's got his fingers in allthese pies around the world.
1208 00:45:32 - What kind of pies?- Illegal pies, Max.
1209 00:45:34 You know, the kind of piesthat have heroin in 'em
1210 00:45:36 and guns and sex slaves.
1211 00:45:37 You know,all that kind of stuff.
1212 00:45:39 But he just wanted me to helphim find this Faberge egg.
1213 00:45:41 Fuck that! Faberge egg?
1214 00:45:44 - Are you kidding me?- No, I'm serious.
1215 00:45:45 And I found it!
1216 00:45:47 But then there was this otherguy, this Marlon Freeman.
1217 00:45:49 He's willing to pay twiceas much for the same egg.
1218 00:45:51 So what? So you screwed overthe Bulgarian guy,
1219 00:45:53 and those fellows behind uswork for him,
1220 00:45:55 and they just happen to crashyour murder mystery party?
1221 00:45:56 I know, right?What are the odds of that?
1222 00:46:00 - Oh, too close, too close!- Careful, careful!
1223 00:46:03 Watch out! Watch out!
1224 00:46:05 Oh, oh!
1225 00:46:08 - Shit!- Sorry! You okay?
1226 00:46:10 - Yeah, I'm all right.- Okay.
1227 00:46:11 We need to go to the cops now!
1228 00:46:12 - Yeah, right now! Let's go!- No!
1229 00:46:13 - We can't go to the cops!- Why?
1230 00:46:15 The Bulgarian's gota ton of moles.
1231 00:46:16 On his face?
1232 00:46:19 No, in the police department.
1233 00:46:21 Look out!
1234 00:46:23 Careful!
1235 00:46:29 Oh, my God!This is insane!
1236 00:46:45 If you call the cops, I'll bedead before I get to jail.
1237 00:46:47 Why don't we just get a holdof this Marlon Freeman guy
1238 00:46:49 and buy the egg back from him?
1239 00:46:51 I couldn't find him if I wanted to.That name's an alias.
1240 00:46:56 - Gun, gun, gun! Duck!- Oh, oh...
1241 00:47:08 Okay, these guys are notstopping. What do we do?
1242 00:47:10 They're not gonna stopuntil they get me.
1243 00:47:13 I'm sorry I draggedyou guys into this.
1244 00:47:16 I'm sorry for a lot of things.
1245 00:47:21 - Hey! What are you doing?- What is he doing?
1246 00:47:24 - I love you, Max!- Brooks, don't be an idiot!
1247 00:47:29 Stop the car!
1248 00:47:38 - Shit! Go, go, go!- Okay, okay, okay!
1249 00:47:44 Fuck! What are we gonna do?They're gonna kill my brother.
1250 00:47:46 Oh, Annie, I feel faint.I'm gonna pass out.
1251 00:47:48 Oh, honey, we'll get youto a hospital, okay?
1252 00:47:50 No, no, no! No hospitals.
1253 00:47:52 This is a gunshot wound,they'll call the cops.
1254 00:47:53 Shit, shit! Okay.
1255 00:47:54 So, we goto a mob doctor, right?
1256 00:47:58 Do you know one of those,sweetheart?
1257 00:47:59 - No.- No.
1258 00:48:01 What about a veterinarianthat works for the mob?
1259 00:48:03 - You know one of those?- No.
1260 00:48:05 Come on. Why are you pitchingall the mob stuff?
1261 00:48:07 Because I'm losingmy shit here!
1262 00:48:08 I get it.
1263 00:48:09 You're gonna have to do it.
1264 00:48:10 - What?- Yup.
1265 00:48:12 You're gonna haveto take the bullet out.
1266 00:48:13 I don't wanna do it.
1267 00:48:14 You think I want youto take the bullet out?
1268 00:48:15 I've seen you tryto cut a chicken.
1269 00:48:16 We have no other option.
1270 00:48:18 Oh, my God!This is so bad!
1271 00:48:20 I hate game night!
1272 00:48:25 Thank you!
1273 00:48:28 Hey!
1274 00:48:29 Oh, thank God. Listen, Annie.It's all real.
1275 00:48:31 Oh, no, I know.
1276 00:48:32 Brooks is caught upin something and...
1277 00:48:34 Okay, where are you guys?
1278 00:48:36 We're all at Brooks's.We need to talk to the cops.
1279 00:48:37 No! No, no, no!Do not talk to the cops!
1280 00:48:39 What? Why? What's going on?
1281 00:48:41 - Are you guys okay?- Yeah, yeah.
1282 00:48:42 We're fine, we're fine.I shot Max, but he's fine.
1283 00:48:44 What?
1284 00:48:46 Look. We will meet youback at our house.
1285 00:48:47 Whatever you do,do not tell the cops anything.
1286 00:48:49 Brooks's life depends on it.
1287 00:48:56 - Hey.- Hi.
1288 00:48:57 Okay.
1289 00:48:59 I got a bunch of stuff.
1290 00:49:00 Yeah.
1291 00:49:02 Pocket knife. Tweezers.
1292 00:49:04 Sewing kit. Gauze.
1293 00:49:05 Good, good. All right.Wow, you did great!
1294 00:49:07 Yeah. And they didn'thave rubbing alcohol.
1295 00:49:09 And they don't sellhard liquor,
1296 00:49:11 so I got youthis lovely Chard.
1297 00:49:12 Good idea.Way to pivot, yep. Good girl.
1298 00:49:15 What else did you get?More good stuff?
1299 00:49:17 What is helpful inCountry Living?
1300 00:49:19 Oh, that's for later.
1301 00:49:21 There's a corn chowder recipethat looks really good.
1302 00:49:23 - You love corn chowder, huh?- Sweet. I do, yeah.
1303 00:49:25 - That'll cheer you up.- Thank you.
1304 00:49:26 Okay. And then, a squeaky toy.
1305 00:49:28 - Huh.- For your mouth.
1306 00:49:30 - For the pain.- Mmm-hmm.
1307 00:49:31 Okay. Well, hopefullyI won't need this.
1308 00:49:33 - Okay, let's see this bad boy.- All right.
1309 00:49:35 Yeah, careful.
1310 00:49:36 - Okay.- All right.
1311 00:49:39 - Okay.- Okay.
1312 00:49:40 - We're gonna push past it.- No problem. No problem.
1313 00:49:42 - We'll get the bullet out.- Let's just google.
1314 00:49:43 Honey, can you returnthe text later?
1315 00:49:45 This is instructionson how to remove a bullet.
1316 00:49:45 Oh, sorry.
1317 00:49:47 It's an alt-rightmilitia website,
1318 00:49:48 so I'm just gonna ignorethe racist stuff.
1319 00:49:50 - Good. Good, good.- Yeah?
1320 00:49:51 Okay. "Step one,sterile gloves."
1321 00:49:53 Check!
1322 00:49:54 We're doingthe best we can, right?
1323 00:49:56 Okay. Yeah. We're getting by.
1324 00:49:57 "Step two."
1325 00:49:59 Um... Okay."Disinfect wound."
1326 00:50:02 Right, yeah.That's gonna sting, isn't it?
1327 00:50:04 Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.
1328 00:50:05 - Let's do it.- Okay?
1329 00:50:09 That smarts, huh?
1330 00:50:11 Yeah.
1331 00:50:13 Gonna administer anesthetic.
1332 00:50:15 We don't have that.
1333 00:50:16 Just gonna skip that one.Okay.
1334 00:50:18 "Step four, apply pressureabove the wound."
1335 00:50:19 Here, you squeeze that there.
1336 00:50:21 - I got it.- Great. Thank you.
1337 00:50:22 We're just gonna maketwo tiny incisions...
1338 00:50:25 Oh, my God.
1339 00:50:26 On either sideof the wound.
1340 00:50:27 Easy-peasy.
1341 00:50:29 This is fun, huh?
1342 00:50:30 - Are you having fun?- No.
1343 00:50:32 - Let's get the bullet.- Okay. Here we go.
1344 00:50:33 Let's get in there and get it.
1345 00:50:35 Nice and small,nice and small, baby.
1346 00:50:36 Okay. Yeah, yeah. Tiny, teeny.
1347 00:50:42 That's not small.That's really big!
1348 00:50:44 So big?
1349 00:50:46 Way too big, baby. It'sa bullet, not a grapefruit.
1350 00:50:47 I'm sorry! I'm sorry. This ismy first time. I don't know...
1351 00:50:50 Oh, there's so much blood.
1352 00:50:53 No, no.Don't you start doing that.
1353 00:50:54 No, you're gonna make...
1354 00:50:59 - I'm sorry.- Stop it.
1355 00:51:00 I'm looking at youand you're making me...
1356 00:51:02 Well, don't look at me.I won't look at it.
1357 00:51:03 - Push through. Let's go.- Okay. All right, okay.
1358 00:51:05 - No more cutting.- Oh, shit.
1359 00:51:07 Just get the tweezersand get the bullet out, baby.
1360 00:51:08 Shit, shit, shit. Um...
1361 00:51:09 What? What happened?
1362 00:51:10 Phone went to sleep.
1363 00:51:11 You gotta set itso that thing stays on.
1364 00:51:13 - No. My phone doesn't do that.- Sure it does.
1365 00:51:14 Same phone as mine.Just change it.
1366 00:51:16 Just gonna touch it with my noseevery 30 seconds. It's fine.
1367 00:51:17 Don't be afraid of your phone.
1368 00:51:18 Get in there,go to the settings,
1369 00:51:20 go to displayand change the timing
1370 00:51:21 so that it doesn't revertto sleep mode.
1371 00:51:22 - Revert?- Yeah.
1372 00:51:23 What are you, Steve Jobs?I'm not reverting anything.
1373 00:51:25 I'm just not afraidof my phone, honey.
1374 00:51:26 It's so fucking simple.
1375 00:51:27 Shh! Quiet.I know what I'm doing, okay?
1376 00:51:29 Do you?
1377 00:51:30 Yes.
1378 00:51:31 - Here she goes.- Here we go.
1379 00:51:33 You're like a dolphin.
1380 00:51:35 All right.This part's gonna hurt.
1381 00:51:37 I don't... I don't doubt it.
1382 00:51:38 Okay, let's do this.
1383 00:51:39 Okay.
1384 00:51:42 Ooh... Oh, wait.
1385 00:51:43 What is that?
1386 00:51:45 You hear that?
1387 00:51:47 What's that sound?What's that sound?
1388 00:51:48 Is that the bullet?
1389 00:51:49 - That's bone!- What?
1390 00:51:52 That's not right.
1391 00:51:53 Okay. What do the racists sayif you can't find the bullet?
1392 00:51:57 Yeah, that's bone.You got the bone.
1393 00:51:59 I'm looking at my bone.Look right here.
1394 00:52:01 Max,did you get shot twice?
1395 00:52:07 That's the exit wound.
1396 00:52:09 Oh, it came out!
1397 00:52:11 Yup. Nothing to remove.
1398 00:52:12 The bullet has exited the arm.
1399 00:52:14 Well, let's just sewthat sucker up, huh?
1400 00:52:16 Yeah.
1401 00:52:18 No, no. Honey, don't,don't look at...
1402 00:52:21 Stop it.
1403 00:52:24 I'm sorry.
1404 00:52:26 Now, the Bulgarian's guyshave Brooks,
1405 00:52:27 and the only wayto save him
1406 00:52:29 is to get that egg from thisMarlon Freeman guy.
1407 00:52:30 I can't believe your brother'sbeen lying to us this whole time.
1408 00:52:33 He's even coolerthan we thought.
1409 00:52:35 Honey, I think you sewedmy arm to my sleeve.
1410 00:52:37 I didn't even know MorganFreeman collected Faberge eggs.
1411 00:52:40 Aren't those worthmillions of dollars?
1412 00:52:42 It's Marlon Freeman,but that's just an alias.
1413 00:52:43 Somehow, we gotta find out hisreal name, find out his address.
1414 00:52:46 - Police computer.- What do you mean?
1415 00:52:48 I once dated this girlwhose father was a cop.
1416 00:52:50 She showed meher dad's police computer.
1417 00:52:52 It has a database withevery known alias on it.
1418 00:52:55 I bet we could find MarlonWayans' real name on it.
1419 00:52:58 So, if we called her up,
1420 00:52:59 would she let you goon her dad's computer?
1421 00:53:01 No. No way! That ended badly.
1422 00:53:03 So, how are we gonna get intoa police computer
1423 00:53:05 without the cops knowing?
1424 00:53:06 - Billy Bob Thornton!- What?
1425 00:53:07 - What?- You slept with
1426 00:53:09 - Billy Bob, didn't you?- Hang on, hang on!
1427 00:53:11 I know where we canget on a police computer.
1428 00:53:15 - Hey!- Gary!
1429 00:53:18 Goodness.
1430 00:53:20 To what do Bastian and Iowe the pleasure?
1431 00:53:22 Well, we wereall just talking,
1432 00:53:23 and we realized we haven't hada game night in ages.
1433 00:53:26 - Just the seven of us.- So...
1434 00:53:29 I thought you were goingto your brother's house.
1435 00:53:31 I never said that.
1436 00:53:32 Come on, Gare Bear. Livea little! It's the weekend!
1437 00:53:34 We were just saying how youwere always better at games
1438 00:53:36 than Debbie was.
1439 00:53:38 I'll thank younot to besmirch my ex-wife.
1440 00:53:40 That woman is an angel.
1441 00:53:42 Oh. Yeah, she was much betterat games than you.
1442 00:53:46 I will admit I have eagerlyawaited a visit such as this.
1443 00:53:59 Where'd he go?
1444 00:54:00 Do we follow him?
1445 00:54:02 It seems like it.
1446 00:54:03 - Ryan, you go first.- I'm scared.
1447 00:54:11 Help yourself to popped cornwith sea salt.
1448 00:54:14 Oh! Oh!
1449 00:54:17 Yummy, yummy.
1450 00:54:19 I can't believethat you read my mind.
1451 00:54:21 I was craving popcorn.
1452 00:54:22 You have a framed photoof game night?
1453 00:54:24 Doesn't everyonehave photographs
1454 00:54:26 of their best friendsin their homes?
1455 00:54:30 Of course. We do.
1456 00:54:33 Max, you wanna go first?
1457 00:54:35 Okay, I'll start. I'll do it.
1458 00:54:37 Oh. There's a loose one.
1459 00:54:38 Always in the middle.That's where you wanna go.
1460 00:54:41 Can I use your johnreal quick?
1461 00:54:42 Of course. It's the endof the hall, next to our...
1462 00:54:48 My bedroom.
1463 00:54:51 Okay.
1464 00:55:15 Oh, no, Gary.
1465 00:55:44 So, Sarah, how longhave you two been a couple?
1466 00:55:48 Oh, no! No, we're not.We just...
1467 00:55:51 We work together.I wouldn't, um...
1468 00:55:53 I wouldn't do that thing.
1469 00:55:54 I see. I thought I detected
1470 00:55:57 a certain chemistrybetween the two of you.
1471 00:56:00 No. No way.
1472 00:56:03 - No, that's not...- Mmm. Mmm.
1473 00:56:06 Then again,I'm not the best judge
1474 00:56:07 of chemistryin the world.
1475 00:56:17 Hmm.
1476 00:56:19 Oh, becauseyour wife left you.
1477 00:56:21 Oh, shit.
1478 00:56:32 Hello, Donald Anderton.
1479 00:56:43 Oh!
1480 00:56:46 So many possible moves.
1481 00:56:48 I just don't knowwhere to begin.
1482 00:56:53 Um, maybe... Ooh...
1483 00:56:55 - Decision-making.- Come on, Annie.
1484 00:56:57 Just make up your mind.Please.
1485 00:56:58 - No!- No?
1486 00:57:01 Yup, take your time.
1487 00:57:36 Oh, Brooks. What have yougotten yourself into?
1488 00:57:56 Oh, shit. Where did youcome from, little guy?
1489 00:58:01 Son of a bitch.Hey! What are you, a vampire?
1490 00:58:06 Oh, God. Oh, God.
1491 00:58:11 Oh, my God.Has that got it?
1492 00:58:14 No, that doesn't got it.God damn it. Come on!
1493 00:58:23 No!
1494 00:58:26 I should go check on him.
1495 00:58:27 I think he's fine.
1496 00:58:28 - He cried out.- Tell me about Debbie.
1497 00:58:35 I beg your pardon.
1498 00:58:36 Oh, just, I...
1499 00:58:38 I never met her. I'd loveto hear all about her.
1500 00:58:52 Where do I begin?
1501 00:58:53 All right,you wanna take a bath?
1502 00:58:55 We'll take a little bath.
1503 00:58:56 There we go. Okay.All right. Here we go.
1504 00:59:03 There we go, huh? Huh?
1505 00:59:08 Oh, it's so much worse.
1506 00:59:09 Oh, God.And what did I do to this?
1507 00:59:11 What the fuck is this thing?
1508 00:59:14 Oh, Debbie.
1509 00:59:16 Oh!
1510 00:59:24 Okay. Fuck this.
1511 00:59:27 Hey, guys, Gary was right.It's awful late.
1512 00:59:29 Let's get home,get to bed, huh?
1513 00:59:31 Get out of his hair.
1514 00:59:32 We haven't finished the game.It's your turn, Max.
1515 00:59:34 Oh, my turn, huh?
1516 00:59:35 Okay, be careful now, Max.Oh!
1517 00:59:38 Well, game over.I went in a little hot.
1518 00:59:40 Why did you...
1519 00:59:41 Thanks.Good to see you, Gary.
1520 00:59:43 When shall we play next?
1521 00:59:45 Soon.We'll call you.
1522 00:59:53 Bastian. Baby!
1523 00:59:58 So, how are we supposedto get this egg
1524 01:00:00 out ofDonald Anderton's house?
1525 01:00:02 I don't know.I'm gonna figure it out.
1526 01:00:04 "Unknown Caller."Please don't be Gary.
1527 01:00:07 Hello?
1528 01:00:08 We have your brother.
1529 01:00:11 Um...
1530 01:00:12 Okay. We knowwhere the egg is,
1531 01:00:13 and we're actuallyon our way there right now.
1532 01:00:15 We can do a swap, okay?Please don't hurt Brooks.
1533 01:00:16 Meet us on the East4th Street bridge
1534 01:00:18 at midnight.If you're late, he dies.
1535 01:00:20 - Oh, my God.- Um...
1536 01:00:22 Boy, that's less thanan hour from now.
1537 01:00:27 Hello?
1538 01:00:28 What's upwith this guy's voice?
1539 01:00:29 He sounds like a monster.
1540 01:00:31 He's usinga voice changer, Ryan.
1541 01:00:33 He still sounds likea scary monster.
1542 01:00:39 And we are here.
1543 01:00:43 All right, you guys head home,
1544 01:00:44 and I will call as soon asI get the egg, all right?
1545 01:00:46 What? Wait a second, wait.I'm going with you.
1546 01:00:48 No, Annie. It could be verydangerous in there, okay?
1547 01:00:50 Listen, you know,Brooks shouldn't have dragged
1548 01:00:51 any of us into this,but he is my brother.
1549 01:00:53 And it's up to me to fix it.
1550 01:00:54 No, bullshit!We're all in this together!
1551 01:00:56 - Ryan!- No, no. No. Max is right.
1552 01:00:57 You guys should go home,but you and I are doing this.
1553 01:01:00 Okay, what happensif you guys don't make it out?
1554 01:01:03 We don't cometo game night
1555 01:01:04 because we're dying to playCharades and shit.
1556 01:01:06 We come becausewe love you guys.
1557 01:01:07 Honestly, this isthe best part of our week.
1558 01:01:09 Mine, too. And I have a lotof options on the weekend.
1559 01:01:12 Wow. You guys...
1560 01:01:14 Thank you. That's very nice.
1561 01:01:17 Aw, good friends.
1562 01:01:19 You should probably go,though, right?
1563 01:01:21 I mean,you don't even know us.
1564 01:01:23 Yeah, why are you still here?
1565 01:01:25 Oh. I don't know.I just got caught up in it.
1566 01:01:29 Also, if I go home now,and then I read
1567 01:01:31 in the newspaper tomorrowthat you all died,
1568 01:01:32 I'll feel shit that I left,so I'm gonna stick around.
1569 01:01:37 You still read the newspaper?
1570 01:01:39 That's what you got from that?
1571 01:01:41 How are we gonnaget into this place?
1572 01:01:45 Go! Go! Go! Go!
1573 01:01:54 Okay.
1574 01:01:56 Looks like they gota party going on.
1575 01:01:58 This could be good.
1576 01:02:11 Where is everybody?
1577 01:02:30 No way!
1578 01:02:39 It's some kind ofrich guy's fight club.
1579 01:02:42 I knew it. They are real.
1580 01:02:49 Come on!
1581 01:03:01 That's my Boomer!That's my Boomer!
1582 01:03:05 Man, this is someDjango Unchained bullshit.
1583 01:03:08 Water!
1584 01:03:09 That's my boy!Good boy! Good boy!
1585 01:03:12 Rich people are fucked up!
1586 01:03:15 Kramer, get Logan ready!
1587 01:03:17 Okay, minimum buy-inis now 10 grand.
1588 01:03:20 Okay, I thinkwe should split up.
1589 01:03:22 Yeah.And let's start upstairs.
1590 01:03:23 Anybody finds the egg,just text the others, okay?
1591 01:03:25 And for God's sake, be carefulwith it. All right?
1592 01:03:27 - Gotcha. I got it.- Be safe.
1593 01:03:31 What are you...What are you doing?
1594 01:03:33 Who says the eggisn't in here?
1595 01:03:35 Also, I have a really goodfeeling about Logan.
1596 01:03:38 Egg, egg, egg.Wow! This is some bedroom.
1597 01:03:41 Does it remind youof your celebrity boyfriend's?
1598 01:03:43 Are you still on this?
1599 01:03:44 Yes, I'm still on this,Michelle.
1600 01:03:46 That's all I can think about.
1601 01:03:47 And that's saying a lot,considering we got
1602 01:03:49 Eyes Wide Fight Clubgoing on downstairs.
1603 01:03:51 Why is thisso important to you?
1604 01:03:53 Because, Michelle, look,
1605 01:03:55 I am losing my mind here.Okay?
1606 01:03:57 We were broken up at the time.
1607 01:03:59 I got a hand jobfrom Karen Waller,
1608 01:04:00 so you had every right to.
1609 01:04:02 So, why not just tell me?
1610 01:04:06 Okay, fine.
1611 01:04:09 It was 10 years ago.
1612 01:04:11 I was at a gas station,
1613 01:04:13 and I noticed a guyat the next pump.
1614 01:04:17 It was Denzel Washington.
1615 01:04:21 Hold up.
1616 01:04:23 It actually was Denzel?
1617 01:04:26 Yeah.
1618 01:04:31 He was really nice.
1619 01:04:32 He made some jokeabout how premium gas
1620 01:04:35 is probably the sameas regular.
1621 01:04:36 I took a chance,and I asked him
1622 01:04:38 if he wanted to get drinks.
1623 01:04:39 He said yes.
1624 01:04:41 We both got a little tipsy.
1625 01:04:42 I offered to pay for drinks,and he let me,
1626 01:04:44 which I thoughtwas pretty cool.
1627 01:04:47 We danced for hours.
1628 01:04:52 Eventually, we ended upback at his place,
1629 01:04:54 and one thing led to another.
1630 01:04:59 It was just this crazy thingthat happened
1631 01:05:02 and, in a weird way,it made me realize
1632 01:05:04 the only personI ever wanna be with is you.
1633 01:05:09 Nah.
1634 01:05:11 Nah. I don't believe it.
1635 01:05:12 - Oh, you...- Mmm-mmm.
1636 01:05:14 Well, I took a picturewith him at the club.
1637 01:05:16 I put it in a hidden folder.
1638 01:05:19 Denzel and Michelle.
1639 01:05:26 Yeah, baby, that's not Denzel.
1640 01:05:28 Yeah, it is.
1641 01:05:29 Mmm. No, it's not.
1642 01:05:30 Dude looksa lot like Denzel,
1643 01:05:33 but it's not him.
1644 01:05:35 You're crazy. That's...Look at that, that's Denzel.
1645 01:05:37 Okay, let me ask you this.Did he say he was Denzel?
1646 01:05:39 Well, no...
1647 01:05:41 He tried to introduce himself,and I cut him off
1648 01:05:44 because I told himI knew who he was.
1649 01:05:49 - What kind of car did he drive?- A BMW.
1650 01:05:51 - Hmm.- Three series.
1651 01:05:53 Mmm. What was his place like?
1652 01:05:56 It was a two-bedroom condo.
1653 01:06:00 And he used the spare roomas an office, so...
1654 01:06:05 Do you hearwhat you're saying right now?
1655 01:06:07 Hold on, let me see.
1656 01:06:10 When you zoom in,the nose gives it away, right?
1657 01:06:13 - Goddamn!- Mmm-hmm.
1658 01:06:14 Look, don't beat yourself upabout it, okay?
1659 01:06:16 There is some good news.
1660 01:06:18 If you wanna get with Denzel,
1661 01:06:20 he's standing right here!
1662 01:06:23 Because the realDenzel ain't got shit on me!
1663 01:06:30 Honey, how does this monsterhave five kids?
1664 01:06:34 We don't get to have one.
1665 01:06:36 Well, his wife looks likeshe's about 15.
1666 01:06:38 Uh... Yeah. My sperm are fine.
1667 01:06:42 Right, right. No, I know,honey. We're just gonna...
1668 01:06:44 We're gonna keep plugging awayuntil something sticks, okay?
1669 01:06:48 Gee, you really sound like aguy who wants to have a kid.
1670 01:06:51 Well, you know, I'm just...
1671 01:06:52 I'm a little distractedright now, honey,
1672 01:06:54 as you might imagine.
1673 01:06:55 Look, if you're not into this,you kinda gotta tell me.
1674 01:06:59 Listen.
1675 01:07:01 I wanna have a baby, buthow do I explain this? Um...
1676 01:07:05 Do you remember how we used toplay Pac-Man at Fisker Lanes
1677 01:07:08 and we could play all night?
1678 01:07:10 Do you remember this one time, Imade it all the way up to level 86,
1679 01:07:12 - and you were not too far behind, right?- 85, but...
1680 01:07:14 And then I kicked your assat Galaga.
1681 01:07:15 - So anyway, what is the point?- Mmm... Anyway.
1682 01:07:17 Do you rememberhow we stayed alive so long?
1683 01:07:19 All we did waswe ate the pellets.
1684 01:07:21 We never ate the fruit becausethe fruit is how they get you.
1685 01:07:26 Oh, you're doing a metaphor!
1686 01:07:27 Yes, but here's the problem.
1687 01:07:29 No matter how long you and Istayed alive in the game,
1688 01:07:32 neither one of us ever made itup to the leader board.
1689 01:07:35 And you thinkif we have a baby,
1690 01:07:37 we'll be officiallysettling down,
1691 01:07:38 and you'll never make itonto the leader board of life?
1692 01:07:41 That's such a good metaphor.
1693 01:07:42 Yeah, no, it's not.
1694 01:07:44 - It's kind of bullshit.- Why?
1695 01:07:46 - What are we, 16 years old?- No.
1696 01:07:47 - You wanna go backpacking through Europe? Huh?- Uh-uh.
1697 01:07:51 You wanna, like,have some wine coolers
1698 01:07:53 on a football fieldwith Rebecca De Mornay?
1699 01:07:56 Not specifically.
1700 01:07:57 You know who's always gonefor the fruit, Max?
1701 01:08:00 Your criminal brother,and that is why
1702 01:08:02 the ghostsare about to eat him!
1703 01:08:04 Look who's embracingthe metaphor.
1704 01:08:06 I was so...Wow. You know what?
1705 01:08:09 All this time,I've just been thinking
1706 01:08:11 that if I helped youbeat Brooks,
1707 01:08:13 you would be less stressed.
1708 01:08:15 But you don't wannabeat Brooks.
1709 01:08:16 You wanna be Brooks.
1710 01:08:21 I'm gonna look somewhere else.
1711 01:08:35 Come on, Logan!Boomer ain't shit!
1712 01:08:38 Hey, ADHD!
1713 01:08:39 We're supposed to belooking for the...
1714 01:08:43 Holy shit. I'm right again.
1715 01:08:48 Wait, where are you going?
1716 01:08:50 Everybody's watching the fight.I'm gonna go grab it.
1717 01:08:51 - No, don't fucking...- Be cool, be cool.
1718 01:09:10 Oh, shit!
1719 01:09:15 Who the hell are you?
1720 01:09:17 Me?
1721 01:09:18 Yeah. Who are you?
1722 01:09:20 And what are you doingwith my egg?
1723 01:09:22 Oh. I was just admiring it.
1724 01:09:24 I got a bunch of thesefancy-pants eggs
1725 01:09:27 back at home. In my mansion.
1726 01:09:29 - Uh-huh.- This one's ugly. Hmm.
1727 01:09:33 Does anybody know this guy?
1728 01:09:34 I certainly hope so.
1729 01:09:37 I'm the CEOof Cyberdyne Systems.
1730 01:09:40 I should go.
1731 01:09:42 Boomer, take him down.
1732 01:09:44 Everyone hold ona goddamn second!
1733 01:09:50 Boomer!
1734 01:09:56 Hey, any luck yet?
1735 01:09:57 - No.- You?
1736 01:09:59 Go! Go! Go!I got it! I got it!
1737 01:10:01 Let's go! Come on!
1738 01:10:13 Sorry. Sorry.
1739 01:10:14 Hey, Ryan! Ryan!
1740 01:10:16 Oh, shit.
1741 01:10:17 Um, uh...
1742 01:10:19 Okay, okay.
1743 01:10:20 Shit! Okay.
1744 01:10:25 Michelle, I'm open!Hit me. Baby.
1745 01:10:30 - Oh-ho-ho!- Security!
1746 01:10:32 No, you don't.
1747 01:10:34 Oh, shit!
1748 01:10:35 Kev, up here! Throw it!
1749 01:10:37 I got it!
1750 01:10:38 Oh! Oh, my God, yes, yes!Yes, yes, yes!
1751 01:10:41 Oh, no! No! No!Get away! Get away!
1752 01:10:49 Okay. Oh!
1753 01:10:51 Go to the other side!
1754 01:10:52 Oh, my God!
1755 01:10:54 Annie! Annie,where are you?
1756 01:10:56 - Max! Max!- Over here! Hey!
1757 01:11:06 No! No, no.
1758 01:11:09 Get off me!
1759 01:11:14 No!
1760 01:11:15 Oh!
1761 01:11:18 That was easy.
1762 01:11:28 Man, glass tablesare acting weird tonight.
1763 01:11:33 Go, go, go!
1764 01:11:35 Get in the van!
1765 01:11:37 Get in, get in, get in!
1766 01:11:38 - Get 'em!- Get 'em!
1767 01:11:55 So, you don't wannahave a baby,
1768 01:11:57 so we can domore shit like that?
1769 01:12:00 No. No.
1770 01:12:02 Is that the fruityou were thinking about?
1771 01:12:04 Mmm-mmm.That's not the fruit. No.
1772 01:12:07 Hey, thanks for the assist.
1773 01:12:08 Yeah.
1774 01:12:10 I don't even know whyI really did it.
1775 01:12:13 Do you think it's 'causeyou're falling for me?
1776 01:12:17 I...
1777 01:12:19 Not... Not sure.
1778 01:12:21 Ugh. I was joking.
1779 01:12:24 Oh. Okay. Yeah.
1780 01:12:26 Aren't you gonna sayyou were joking, too?
1781 01:12:29 - Do you want me to?- Oh, my God,
1782 01:12:32 - Stop it.- Okay, fine.
1783 01:12:33 It's two minutes to 12:00.Where the hell is this bridge?
1784 01:12:35 GPS saysit's right around here,
1785 01:12:36 but I don't see it.
1786 01:12:38 Oh, oh. Oh.There it is. 4th Street.
1787 01:12:40 Oh, shit!
1788 01:12:47 - Oh, my.- That's great.
1789 01:12:50 That's great. Now they'regonna kill my brother.
1790 01:12:54 Oh, God!
1791 01:12:56 Hold on.
1792 01:12:58 I'm not an expert, but thesegems look plastic to me.
1793 01:13:01 "Made in China."Is this thing not even real?
1794 01:13:04 Maybe just that stickerwas made in China.
1795 01:13:06 - Let's let them talk.- Can I see?
1796 01:13:07 Hey,why would The Bulgarian
1797 01:13:08 ask Brooks to bring hima fake egg?
1798 01:13:10 Uh, I don't thinkhe wanted an egg at all.
1799 01:13:13 I think he wantedwhat was inside the egg.
1800 01:13:17 "WITSEC."What is that?
1801 01:13:19 Um...
1802 01:13:21 We could ask them?
1803 01:13:39 You tell anyonewe were coming here?
1804 01:13:41 No.
1805 01:13:43 I've got your egg.
1806 01:13:44 - You do?- Yeah, but we broke it.
1807 01:13:47 - What?- Well, it was a fake.
1808 01:13:48 But we have the list of namesthat was inside.
1809 01:13:50 That's what you wanted, right?
1810 01:13:55 Okay. Get on the ground.
1811 01:13:57 We've got what you want.Can't you just let us go?
1812 01:13:59 I said, "On the ground!"
1813 01:14:02 You too, playboy, get overthere. Get on the ground.
1814 01:14:04 Yeah.
1815 01:14:05 None of thatchild pose shit, either.
1816 01:14:07 The Bulgarian's gonna kill me,probably you guys, too.
1817 01:14:10 Why did you come here?
1818 01:14:12 Because you're my brother,and I can't just let you die,
1819 01:14:13 even thoughyou might deserve it.
1820 01:14:17 You're unbelievable,you know that?
1821 01:14:19 You've always beena better person than me.
1822 01:14:22 You gotta shut up. Okay?
1823 01:14:24 Listen. I'm a fraud, Max.
1824 01:14:27 I'm not the carefree dude thatwins at everything he touches.
1825 01:14:30 You know how I win?
1826 01:14:31 I cheat.I cheat at everything.
1827 01:14:32 I even cheated when we werekids playing Battleship.
1828 01:14:36 What?
1829 01:14:37 Didn't you ever wonderwhy I made you sit
1830 01:14:39 with your back to the TV?
1831 01:14:41 It was so I could seeyour ships in the reflection.
1832 01:14:44 I mean, I even took five grandevery time we played Monopoly
1833 01:14:47 before we evenstarted playing the game.
1834 01:14:49 I cheated at the Game of Life.And at the game of life.
1835 01:14:53 You son of a bitch.
1836 01:14:54 - You son of a bitch!- Yo, sit down.
1837 01:14:57 - What about you, Princess?- I don't have anything.
1838 01:14:59 But it didn't stop there,because when we grew up, Max,
1839 01:15:03 you went offto college, and I...
1840 01:15:06 You got a career, you...
1841 01:15:08 You married the greatest girlin the world.
1842 01:15:11 I knew I couldn't keep upwith that success.
1843 01:15:13 So I...
1844 01:15:15 I told everyone that I gota job on Wall Street.
1845 01:15:18 And I did.
1846 01:15:19 Selling coke to traders.
1847 01:15:23 You didn't invest in Panera?
1848 01:15:25 I ate at Panera.
1849 01:15:26 Jesus Christ.
1850 01:15:28 What's going on?
1851 01:15:30 But that's why I've beentrying to make it up to you.
1852 01:15:31 That's what this wholegame night was about.
1853 01:15:33 See, I had it riggedso that you'd finally win.
1854 01:15:37 The last cluewas gonna lead you...
1855 01:15:40 Your jacket pocket.
1856 01:15:52 Huh.
1857 01:15:55 Surprise.
1858 01:16:00 I even managed to fuckthat up, though. I'm so sorry.
1859 01:16:03 I'm so sorry, Max.
1860 01:16:07 I think we're gonna be okay,though. I got a feeling.
1861 01:16:09 You want us to kill them all?
1862 01:16:12 - What?- Okay.
1863 01:16:13 Wait, wait.Just let us go.
1864 01:16:14 We won't tell anyone anything.
1865 01:16:15 We got you the list!
1866 01:16:17 - What the fuck, man?- Fuck! God damn it!
1867 01:16:22 - Oh, shit. The fuzz.- Fuck, man!
1868 01:16:23 Freeze!
1869 01:16:25 Gary?
1870 01:16:25 Don't even thinkabout it, pig.
1871 01:16:27 Can't say I carefor that nomenclature.
1872 01:16:32 Get down!
1873 01:16:34 Come on, bitch!
1874 01:16:43 God damn it!
1875 01:16:52 Hey, isn't that your neighbor?
1876 01:16:54 When did Garyget so cool?
1877 01:16:56 - Oh, my God!- Everybody okay?
1878 01:16:58 - You're cool-ass Gary.- You all right?
1879 01:17:00 Fine, thank you.
1880 01:17:02 Though, in sliding,my belt buckle
1881 01:17:04 may have inadvertentlyscratched
1882 01:17:06 the finish of my squad car.
1883 01:17:07 How did you knowwe were in trouble?
1884 01:17:09 The nocturnal Jenga game,
1885 01:17:12 my blood-spatteredmarital souvenirs,
1886 01:17:14 and Max's curious searchhistory piqued my interest.
1887 01:17:18 - Right. Oh, God.- You, uh...
1888 01:17:21 You saved our lives.
1889 01:17:23 Thank you.
1890 01:17:24 Just doing my job.
1891 01:17:27 - Oh, my God!- Oh!
1892 01:17:28 - Shit!- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
1893 01:17:32 Gary!
1894 01:17:34 Hello? I needan ambulance. Officer down.
1895 01:17:36 - Oh, shit!- Hang in there, pal.
1896 01:17:37 Hang on, hang on, pal.
1897 01:17:39 Hang on.You're gonna be all right.
1898 01:17:40 We're gonnaget you to a hospital.
1899 01:17:41 Okay, look at me. Gary, look.
1900 01:17:43 You have gota lot to live for, okay?
1901 01:17:45 Do I?
1902 01:17:46 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.- Yeah.
1903 01:17:48 I have no wife.
1904 01:17:51 - No friends.- That's not true.
1905 01:17:53 No, don't say that.
1906 01:17:54 You got us.We're your friends.
1907 01:17:55 You've got us.
1908 01:17:56 You don't even likespending time with me.
1909 01:18:00 Yes, we do.We just...
1910 01:18:02 We've been a little selfish,that's all.
1911 01:18:04 - Right, right.- I'm sorry about that.
1912 01:18:05 Oh, God. Oh, God.
1913 01:18:07 - Bastian.- Huh?
1914 01:18:10 Someone please take careof Bastian.
1915 01:18:12 Gary, you are gonna take careof Bastian yourself, okay?
1916 01:18:15 Listen. As soon as you get outof the hospital,
1917 01:18:17 you're gonna come to everysingle game night we have.
1918 01:18:20 Don't...
1919 01:18:22 Yeah?
1920 01:18:23 Don't you
1921 01:18:25 ever
1922 01:18:28 exclude me again.
1923 01:18:30 - Never exclude you again, pal.- No.
1924 01:18:35 - Oh, God. What is that?- What's that?
1925 01:18:37 Is that a blood clot?
1926 01:18:39 It's a blood capsule.
1927 01:18:41 - Huh?- A blood capsule?
1928 01:18:44 And that is how you doa game night.
1929 01:18:52 What?
1930 01:18:55 I've duped you all.
1931 01:18:57 Wha...
1932 01:18:58 Hold on a second.Are you telling me
1933 01:19:00 that this whole thingwas a game?
1934 01:19:04 What? What?
1935 01:19:06 - They, they...- Shit!
1936 01:19:07 I'm sorry. They got up.They got up.
1937 01:19:09 When I learned you stoppedinviting me to your game nights,
1938 01:19:11 I hijacked Brooks'murder mystery party
1939 01:19:13 and I staged a kidnappingof my own.
1940 01:19:16 You gotta be kidding me.
1941 01:19:17 What better wayto prove my worth
1942 01:19:19 as a game night participant?
1943 01:19:20 Well, what about these dudes?Are they actors?
1944 01:19:22 Oh, no. They're...They're felons.
1945 01:19:25 Felons?
1946 01:19:26 I was able to shave sometime off of their parole
1947 01:19:27 in exchange forthis little side project.
1948 01:19:30 - We square now?- Thank you, gentlemen.
1949 01:19:32 That lady hit me with the car.
1950 01:19:34 Hey, what the hell kindapsycho are you?
1951 01:19:35 You put us through all this,just for your own amusement?
1952 01:19:38 No, no. Just the opposite.For your amusement.
1953 01:19:42 Did everyone have fun?
1954 01:19:43 - No! No.- Yeah. No.
1955 01:19:44 - No fun! I got shot!- By me!
1956 01:19:47 I don't seehow that's possible.
1957 01:19:49 My men were using blanks.
1958 01:19:50 Well, that was my gun.It was a real gun.
1959 01:19:52 So, this whole thing,the Faberge egg,
1960 01:19:55 The Bulgarian.That was you?
1961 01:19:58 You've lost me.
1962 01:19:59 The egg, the WITSEC list?
1963 01:20:02 It's all you.All part of your game?
1964 01:20:07 This is a list of people in theFederal Witness Protection program.
1965 01:20:10 - How did you get this?- From inside the egg.
1966 01:20:12 Stop fucking with us.It's over!
1967 01:20:13 I'm not fudging with you.
1968 01:20:15 I honestly have no ideawhat...
1969 01:20:18 Oh, boy. Yikes!
1970 01:20:22 I mean, how stupiddo you think we are?
1971 01:20:23 - Hey, Max...- Gang, are we looking
1972 01:20:24 at the big twist here?He gets shot again!
1973 01:20:27 And by who?A couple of new characters
1974 01:20:28 you introduceat the last minute.
1975 01:20:29 Dude, you've jumped the shark!
1976 01:20:31 Do you go to the magic shopto buy a bunch
1977 01:20:33 - of these little bullets?- No.
1978 01:20:37 Hang on.
1979 01:20:38 This is Officer Kingsbury.
1980 01:20:40 We got a 10-00on the 4th Street...
1981 01:20:45 Which one of youis Brooks Davis?
1982 01:20:50 It's funny, you don't looklike an asshole.
1983 01:20:53 Do I look likeas asshole to you?
1984 01:20:56 No.
1985 01:20:57 One of us has to be theasshole in this transaction
1986 01:20:59 because otherwiseI'd have my egg,
1987 01:21:01 and you'd have your money.
1988 01:21:02 But instead, we've wastedour night tracking you down.
1989 01:21:07 Now we're gonnahave to kill you.
1990 01:21:08 - What? No, no, no, no.- What?
1991 01:21:10 Mr. Bulgarian, I'm assuming?
1992 01:21:12 Hi, I'm Max.I'm Brooks' brother.
1993 01:21:15 And you know, look.He screwed up.
1994 01:21:17 - Right? You got greedy.- Oh, yeah.
1995 01:21:19 He admits it.
1996 01:21:20 Good news is, though,that we got your egg.
1997 01:21:22 It is broken.Uh, my screw-up.
1998 01:21:24 But, um, I got the list.
1999 01:21:27 Which I bet you've been afterthis whole time.
2000 01:21:29 What about this?
2001 01:21:30 How about
2002 01:21:33 you take this list
2003 01:21:34 for free, and we all goour separate ways?
2004 01:21:37 Nobody gets hurt.
2005 01:21:38 Uh, except the poor folkson this list, I'm guessing.
2006 01:21:44 Okay.
2007 01:21:46 Okay?
2008 01:21:47 Deal. Makes perfect sense.
2009 01:21:49 No, no. You give himthat list, he's gonna kill me.
2010 01:21:51 That's nonsense.
2011 01:21:56 What the hellis wrong with you?
2012 01:21:58 I'm just trying to buy myselfsome time.
2013 01:21:59 Not much.
2014 01:22:01 We're just gonna cut it outof you on the jet. Take him.
2015 01:22:07 Don't follow us, Max.I'm serious!
2016 01:22:09 I'm not worried about that.
2017 01:22:14 You just letting them go?
2018 01:22:16 Yeah, they've donenothing wrong.
2019 01:22:18 Only this one.
2020 01:22:20 - Let's go.- Don't follow us!
2021 01:22:22 Gary! He's breathing.
2022 01:22:25 You know, the onlyprivate air terminal
2023 01:22:26 around here is at Conway.
2024 01:22:27 Yeah. How are wegonna get there?
2025 01:22:29 Brooks' house is notthat far from here.
2026 01:22:31 But our car's not there.
2027 01:22:33 Yeah, it is.
2028 01:22:44 You know,you don't have to do this
2029 01:22:46 because I can justpoop it out.
2030 01:22:48 We're not gonna go diggingthrough your feces.
2031 01:22:50 That's disgusting!
2032 01:22:51 Now, hold stillwhile I cut your stomach open.
2033 01:22:54 No, no! No! Whoa!
2034 01:22:56 What the hell?
2035 01:23:00 - Is that...- That's my brother.
2036 01:23:01 Get us in the air.
2037 01:23:03 Now!
2038 01:23:15 - Hold on!- Oh!
2039 01:23:20 - You all right?- Yeah, you?
2040 01:23:21 - Yup, good.- Okay.
2041 01:23:27 Okay, okay. What's our plan?
2042 01:23:29 I have one idea.It's so crazy,
2043 01:23:31 though, baby,it just might work.
2044 01:23:33 You're gonna crash the carinto the plane,
2045 01:23:34 like Liam Neeson in Taken 3?
2046 01:23:36 He did that in Taken 3, huh?
2047 01:23:42 - All right, are you ready?- Uh-huh.
2048 01:23:43 Here we go!
2049 01:23:47 Oh, my God!
2050 01:23:50 Uh, you missed it.
2051 01:23:52 Thanks, baby.
2052 01:23:59 Brooks, we're coming!
2053 01:24:00 Whoo!
2054 01:24:19 Well, at least I got todrive it for 10 minutes.
2055 01:24:25 Oh, my God.
2056 01:24:26 - We have to hide.- Yeah.
2057 01:24:27 Okay. Go.
2058 01:24:29 Oh, shit! Shit!
2059 01:24:32 Go, go, go! It's stuck.
2060 01:24:35 Fuck!
2061 01:24:37 God damn it!
2062 01:24:56 Where you at, lady?
2063 01:24:58 Come on, you little bitch.
2064 01:25:01 I know you're back heresomewhere.
2065 01:25:04 Let's end this shit.I won't kill you. Come out!
2066 01:25:08 Come on,get your ass out here!
2067 01:25:10 Turn on the belt!
2068 01:25:12 - I'm not gonna hurt you.- Look at the box!
2069 01:25:13 - Just come on out, let's talk!- Can you charade it to me?
2070 01:25:16 Charades?
2071 01:25:19 That's somecute full-circle bullshit.
2072 01:25:21 Here we go. Three words.
2073 01:25:23 Come on, lady. Where are you?
2074 01:25:27 Turn.
2075 01:25:28 Turn, turn, turn. Turn.
2076 01:25:30 On.
2077 01:25:31 Turn on. Turn on what?Turn on what?
2078 01:25:36 Turn on belt?
2079 01:25:38 Turn on belt!
2080 01:25:50 Boy, that's a slow belt.
2081 01:26:02 Hey!
2082 01:26:04 - Okay.- Oh, God! Annie!
2083 01:26:09 Oh, boy, that was...
2084 01:26:11 You saw what I was going for,though, right?
2085 01:26:12 Yeah, yeah.But then did you see
2086 01:26:14 when I hit himwith the fire extinguisher?
2087 01:26:15 - I sure did. I sure did, yeah.- That was cool, right? Yeah.
2088 01:26:18 - Yeah.- Great.
2089 01:26:19 Do you want this?
2090 01:26:20 I don't want you to have it,Calamity Jane.
2091 01:26:22 All right, look.
2092 01:26:24 I think I saw a hatchat the top of the plane.
2093 01:26:26 Maybe I can getthe drop on him.
2094 01:26:28 - "The drop?"- Yup, yeah.
2095 01:26:30 - Who are you?- Why don't you go use the emergency phone?
2096 01:26:31 Call for help.I'm gonna do the drop.
2097 01:26:32 Okay. You're not Liam Neeson!
2098 01:26:34 - That hurts my feelings!- I'm sorry!
2099 01:26:46 That's enough of this shit.
2100 01:27:09 Max!
2101 01:27:11 I can't get the dropon anyone tonight.
2102 01:27:12 Put that little knife down!
2103 01:27:14 Right now! That's it.
2104 01:27:16 Ahh!
2105 01:27:18 Right in my bullet hole.
2106 01:27:25 Come on, come on, come on.
2107 01:27:30 Shit!
2108 01:27:36 Stop!
2109 01:27:38 Drop it!
2110 01:27:41 Wait, wait. Um...
2111 01:27:43 You don't have to do this.I have kids at home.
2112 01:27:47 Not with that ass you don't.
2113 01:27:49 Oh. Well...
2114 01:27:50 Thank you.
2115 01:27:52 You're welcome.
2116 01:27:55 Shit!
2117 01:28:00 Yes!
2118 01:28:02 Oh, no, he died!
2119 01:28:35 And that's how you getthe drop on someone!
2120 01:28:37 Oh, my God!
2121 01:28:39 Oh. Oh!
2122 01:28:41 - I gotcha! I gotcha!- This is high.
2123 01:28:44 You're amazing.
2124 01:28:46 - You can cut me loose now.- Thank you!
2125 01:28:47 Okay. Okay, okay.
2126 01:28:48 - Uh...- Yeah. In the bag.
2127 01:28:50 - This? Okay.- Look in the bag.
2128 01:28:52 - That's right.- Okay.
2129 01:28:54 Oh! Thank you!
2130 01:28:55 - Okay. You all right?- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
2131 01:29:01 Whoa. Well, look at that.
2132 01:29:03 You put a bungee cordin your hand,
2133 01:29:04 you go straightto the pervy place, don't you?
2134 01:29:06 Hey. You saved my life.Thank you.
2135 01:29:10 - You okay?- Yeah, yeah.
2136 01:29:11 I mean, I just saw a man die,but I'm... I'm okay.
2137 01:29:15 Is that a knifein your bullet hole?
2138 01:29:17 Uh-huh. Hey.I wanna have a baby.
2139 01:29:19 Uh, what?
2140 01:29:21 I used to thinkthat I wanted Brooks' life,
2141 01:29:22 but, you know,turns out he was just...
2142 01:29:24 You're a loser.He's a loser.
2143 01:29:25 Uh, guilty.
2144 01:29:26 But us making a family?
2145 01:29:28 That's not pellets.That's the fruit.
2146 01:29:31 That's fruit, it's fruit.
2147 01:29:33 Wait. What's going on?
2148 01:29:35 Plus, think about all thedum-dums that have kids, right?
2149 01:29:37 And think abouthow much better
2150 01:29:38 our kid is gonna bethan their kids.
2151 01:29:40 It's gonna beat their kidsat everything.
2152 01:29:42 It's taken you this longto see that?
2153 01:29:43 Our baby is gonna crushevery other baby.
2154 01:29:45 I'm sorry, that's right. Andnot in that peak-too-early,
2155 01:29:47 you know,kid actor kind of way.
2156 01:29:49 Mmm-mmm. No.
2157 01:29:50 We will parcel outhis or her gifts over time.
2158 01:29:52 - Absolutely.- Yes.
2159 01:29:53 We gotta teach it Mandarinright away.
2160 01:29:54 'Cause China's the future.
2161 01:29:56 - It sure is.- Yeah.
2162 01:29:57 - You're the future.- Oh, my God.
2163 01:30:02 Hmm?
2164 01:30:04 And that concludesmy game night.
2165 01:30:08 - What?- What?
2166 01:30:09 It went exactly as I planned.
2167 01:30:10 You learned every lessonthat I wanted you to.
2168 01:30:13 Trevor, you can get up now.
2169 01:30:20 I'm just fucking with you.
2170 01:30:21 But that would've beenreally cool, right?
2171 01:30:23 You're such a dick.
2172 01:30:34 - Hey! Hey!- Hey!
2173 01:30:37 - Hey, hey!- Hey!
2174 01:30:39 Come on, come on.
2175 01:30:40 Hey, thanks for letting mehost again, huh?
2176 01:30:42 Well, it's not likewe had a choice, huh?
2177 01:30:44 Only 36 months to go.
2178 01:30:46 Oh, time will fly.
2179 01:30:47 - Can I get you a beer?- Uh, yeah.
2180 01:30:48 - Come on!- Hey, listen, Brooks.
2181 01:30:50 I know you're probably feelingpretty humbled by all of this.
2182 01:30:53 But, honestly, I thinkyou're gonna come out
2183 01:30:55 the other sidea much better man.
2184 01:30:57 Oh! Hey, look.
2185 01:30:58 I completely agree.
2186 01:30:59 You remember the WITSEC listthat I swallowed?
2187 01:31:02 - Sure.- I pooped it out,
2188 01:31:03 sold it for $3 millionon the black market.
2189 01:31:06 - Are you serious?- Pretty sweet, huh?
2190 01:31:09 Brooks, everybody on that listis gonna get killed.
2191 01:31:11 Oh, no, Max,I'm not a monster.
2192 01:31:12 I tipped everyone offthat they were in danger.
2193 01:31:15 For $20,000 apiece.
2194 01:31:17 You're unbelievable.
2195 01:31:19 Thank you. It's not like
2196 01:31:21 I'm gonna livein this dump forever.
2197 01:31:22 As soon asthis cuff comes off,
2198 01:31:23 I'm gonna buy that houseI was renting.
2199 01:31:24 I'm moving in with Johanna.
2200 01:31:27 There she is.
2201 01:31:28 - Hey, Dr. Chin!- Hey, Max.
2202 01:31:30 - Let's play.- Yeah.
2203 01:31:32 Uh, The Crying Game?
2204 01:31:33 Uh, Boys Don't Cry?
2205 01:31:35 Is that a tear?Is that the actor?
2206 01:31:37 - Mr. Potato Head.- Are you drawing the actor?
2207 01:31:39 - Cry-Baby?- Yes!
2208 01:31:40 - Time!- It was The Green Mile.
2209 01:31:42 - What?- How is that The Green Mile?
2210 01:31:45 This is meat the Regal Cinema crying
2211 01:31:48 as I did throughmuch of the film.
2212 01:31:51 How we supposedto know that, Gary?
2213 01:31:53 I assume everyone criedduring The Green Mile.
2214 01:31:57 - So, who's next?- I'll go.
2215 01:31:59 - Yeah!- Go, baby.
2216 01:32:01 Nice try, Gary.
2217 01:32:02 And go!
2218 01:32:04 Uh...
2219 01:32:05 - It's a rock.- A bean? A rock!
2220 01:32:07 - A ball?- That's a...
2221 01:32:08 - Burger. Is that a burger?- Football!
2222 01:32:10 No, oh, that'sa dinner roll, right?
2223 01:32:11 - A bun!- Bread?
2224 01:32:12 Is it a bun?Looks like a bun.
2225 01:32:14 French loaf?
2226 01:32:15 Is this a motion picture?
2227 01:32:16 A bun is in a house.On a train.
2228 01:32:18 Are we supposedto announce it?
2229 01:32:19 - Microwave?- It's being cooked.
2230 01:32:20 It's in an oven.Bun in the oven!
2231 01:32:22 Yes, yes, yes!
2232 01:32:23 Wait. What?
2233 01:32:25 Yes.
2234 01:32:28 You pregnant?
2235 01:32:29 We did it.
2236 01:32:39 Oh, my gosh!They're having a baby!
2237 01:32:41 They're having a baby!
2238 01:32:44 Oh, my God!
2239 01:39:32 How you doing?
2240 01:39:34 - Hi.- I'm Kenny.
2241 01:39:36 Nice to meet you, Kenny.
2242 01:39:39 Usually people cut me offand say they know who I am.
2243 01:39:42 Oh, yeah?
2244 01:39:43 Yeah. I didn'tcatch your name.
2245 01:39:45 I'm Debbie.