火烧岛 Fire Island(2022)(EN)Subtitles

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1 00:00:01 All right, girls,what we rehearsed.
2 00:00:03 Drums.
3 00:00:13 Hey.
4 00:00:24 Girl, we sound mad good.
5 00:00:27 She's an icon.
6 00:00:30 She's a legend.
7 00:00:32 She's an icon.
8 00:00:34 She's a legend.
9 00:00:35 "It is a truthuniversally acknowledged
10 00:00:38 "that a single manin possession of a good fortune
11 00:00:40 "must be in want of a wife."
12 00:00:43 You know who said that?Jane Austen, the queen.
13 00:00:46 Fucking shit.
14 00:00:50 Pretty dope way to start a story,right?
15 00:00:53 Well, no offense to my girl, Jane, butthat sounds like some hetero nonsense.
16 00:00:58 Listen, I don't know muchabout a good fortune,
17 00:01:01 but not every single manis looking for a wife.
18 00:01:05 Hey.
19 00:01:07 Oh.
20 00:01:08 Hey, you.
21 00:01:10 You're still here, which is awesome.
22 00:01:12 - Except, um, you have to leave.- Sorry, what?
23 00:01:15 No, listen, last night was fun.
24 00:01:17 She's an icon.
25 00:01:19 But seriously, you gotta go.
26 00:01:23 Yeah, I know that looked a little harsh,but he had boyfriend energy,
27 00:01:26 and that is just not me.
28 00:01:28 Besides, this week is sacred.
29 00:01:31 We're going to Fire Island.It's like gay Disney World.
30 00:01:34 Fun for the whole family...
31 00:01:35 Come on. Hurry up!
32 00:01:36 - ...except when I say family...- Get on the boat!
33 00:01:40 - I think about those faggots.- Let's go!
34 00:01:43 Please don't cancel me.I'm reclaiming it.
35 00:01:45 To me, it just means, um, sisters.
36 00:01:48 - Stupid bitch, Noah. Every year.- I made it, didn't I?
37 00:01:51 - How? You missed every train.- I took a Lyft.
38 00:01:53 What, from Bushwick?What is that? Like, a $300 ride?
39 00:01:56 - How are you paying for this?- You finally start a OnlyFans?
40 00:01:59 It's called a credit card, idiot.
41 00:02:01 You've literally nevermade a student loan payment,
42 00:02:03 who would give you a credit card?
43 00:02:05 Amanda at Forever 21.
44 00:02:07 - Amanda.- Oh, my God.
45 00:02:08 So, yeah, we're poor.
46 00:02:09 Not, like, poor-poor,
47 00:02:11 but poor as in none of us have a chancein hell of buying property, ever?
48 00:02:15 But this is what brought us together.
49 00:02:16 We all met almost ten years ago
50 00:02:18 working at the same cursedbrunch spot in Williamsburg.
51 00:02:21 Bottomless mimosas, bitches!
52 00:02:25 Back then, we were broke queers,
53 00:02:28 subsisting off of predatorystudent loans and brunch tips.
54 00:02:30 Come here, baby.
55 00:02:32 - That's Luke and Keegan.- Oh! That's good.
56 00:02:34 They met in theater school.
57 00:02:36 They were both eventuallykicked out of the program,
58 00:02:38 but they're still convincedthey're stars.
59 00:02:40 Yes!
60 00:02:42 There's sweet Max.
61 00:02:44 Can you guys be a little quiet?
62 00:02:45 Super smart,but he can be a little uptight.
63 00:02:48 He claims he doesn'tcome on this trip to hook up,
64 00:02:51 but he puts out in the Meat Rackjust like the rest of us.
65 00:02:53 It's really coming together.
66 00:02:55 And then there's Howie.
67 00:02:57 The best of us on almost every level.
68 00:02:59 He deserted me a few years ago
69 00:03:01 for some cush start-up jobin San Francisco,
70 00:03:03 but he still makes it backevery year for this trip.
71 00:03:06 Our bond goes a little deeperthan everyone else's
72 00:03:09 for complex, spiritual reasons.And, well...
73 00:03:13 Jackie Chan, hey.Can I get another refill here, bud?
74 00:03:17 All the obvious ones, too.
75 00:03:23 Yeah, well, looks like it's that time.
76 00:03:27 A lot of people on Twitter think
77 00:03:28 body positivityhas actually gone too far.
78 00:03:30 Uh-huh.
79 00:03:31 Why would you conform tothis community's toxic body standards?
80 00:03:34 Whatever. I'm still invisibleto most of these people.
81 00:03:36 - What does that make me?- No fats, no fems, no Asians.
82 00:03:40 Noah, you still two out of the three.
83 00:03:42 Bitchy, yes, but not wrong.
84 00:03:44 In our community,money isn't the only form of currency.
85 00:03:48 Race, masculinity, abs,
86 00:03:51 just few of the metricswe use to separate ourselves
87 00:03:53 into upper and lower classes.
88 00:03:55 Of course,I don't care about all that shit, but,
89 00:03:58 what can I say? I'm a class traitor.
90 00:04:01 And this why straight people hate us.
91 00:04:04 I mean, also, heteronormativity,Judeo-Christian pathology, anal.
92 00:04:10 Whatever. Who cares what they think?
93 00:04:11 We're not gonna see onefor a fucking week.
94 00:04:15 Whoo!
95 00:04:16 Ah!
96 00:04:18 Yes!
97 00:05:04 I forgot how far away the house is.
98 00:05:07 - Hey.- Hi, guys.
99 00:05:08 Hey.
100 00:05:10 - Stop being weird.- Okay, it's a nice human gesture.
101 00:05:15 Hey. How are you guys?
102 00:05:17 No, thanks.
103 00:05:21 This place is so toxic.
104 00:05:22 Why? Because of those guys? Fuck them.
105 00:05:25 As far as I'm concerned,we are the hottest people here.
106 00:05:28 Luke's right. Why would you say helloto someone you don't wanna fuck?
107 00:05:31 Because fucking isn'tthe only reason some people come here.
108 00:05:34 No, that is the only reasonthat you come here.
109 00:05:36 No, I also come here to read.I contain multitudes.
110 00:05:39 She thinks that makes herless of a whore than the rest of us.
111 00:05:42 No, I just know who I am,that's empowering.
112 00:05:44 Besides, anybody can fuckon Fire Island.
113 00:05:45 Okay,
114 00:05:47 the only reason you don't is because...
115 00:05:48 I'm sorry,that was an involuntary response.
116 00:05:51 I'm fine. Seriously.
117 00:05:54 It's actually a logisticalnightmare to fuck on this island.
118 00:05:57 At least, if you wanna do it indoors,you know, no privacy anywhere.
119 00:06:00 That's what the outdoors are for, girl.
120 00:06:02 Ew, have you heard of ticks?
121 00:06:03 Okay, how about their best friend?Lyme disease.
122 00:06:06 - No.- I'm serious.
123 00:06:07 Bitch! I knew I smelled some bottoms.
124 00:06:12 - You bitch.- Little bitch!
125 00:06:14 And that is Erin.
126 00:06:16 The last memberof our makeshift little family.
127 00:06:19 Career brunch server,age unknown, lesbian scam queen.
128 00:06:25 Five years ago, she made a mini fortuneafter she ate a piece of glass
129 00:06:29 at a major Italian chain restaurantand won a huge settlement.
130 00:06:34 She even got a little tattooabove her vagina that says,
131 00:06:37 "All-you-can-eat salad."
132 00:06:42 - Come on, Keegan, let's go, baby.- Okay!
133 00:06:44 First thing she did with the moneywas buy a little house on the island.
134 00:06:47 She invites usto stay with her every year.
135 00:06:50 Welcome home, little chickadees.
136 00:06:52 Cover it with your whole body.
137 00:06:53 This is ours.
138 00:06:54 Baby, use your mass.Plan this shit, girl.
139 00:06:57 In exchange, we let her believe
140 00:06:58 she's the closest thingany of us have to a mother.
141 00:07:02 It feels likeit gets smaller every year.
142 00:07:05 Are you kidding me? It's perfect.
143 00:07:07 For me at least, it's sort of true.
144 00:07:09 Welcome home.
145 00:07:23 Coming here was a mistake.
146 00:07:25 I can't believeyou talked me into this again.
147 00:07:27 What the fuck are you talking about?I only see you on Face Time now.
148 00:07:31 No, I'm serious.We used to come here to be...
149 00:07:33 Gay and stupid.
150 00:07:36 And now...
151 00:07:38 I come here,I just feel terminally alone.
152 00:07:41 Alone? Look around.We're literally swimming in dick.
153 00:07:43 No, I don't mean like that.I mean, like, existentially lonely.
154 00:07:48 I mean, here, in S. F.,I've never had a boyfriend.
155 00:07:51 Oh, God.
156 00:07:52 Monogamy industrial complexrears its ugly head.
157 00:07:54 I've never had a boyfriend eitherand I'm fuckin' awesome.
158 00:07:57 - Yeah, well, I'm not you.- You could be.
159 00:07:59 You just have to get laidonce in a while.
160 00:08:01 - Oh, fuck off.- No, I'm serious. I mean, why not?
161 00:08:04 You're cute, you're funny,
162 00:08:06 you're consistently the least repellentto men out of all of us.
163 00:08:09 I mean, let me be your wing man.
164 00:08:10 Everybody should fuck on Fire Islandat least once. It's like our birthright.
165 00:08:14 Why is this so important to you?
166 00:08:16 - Oh, my God, you've never had sex.- Noah.
167 00:08:20 Fine.
168 00:08:23 Do you remember when we met?
169 00:08:25 I was, like,a completely different person back then.
170 00:08:29 Felt invisible all the time,I was miserable.
171 00:08:32 And then we came out here.And, I don't know, something clicked.
172 00:08:36 You know, I realized how much powerI was giving away to other people
173 00:08:41 to make me feel a certain wayand I took it all back.
174 00:08:45 Started to do some self-improvement,and my whole life changed.
175 00:08:51 Babe, you don't need a boyfriend.
176 00:08:53 You need to learnhow to protect yourself more,
177 00:08:55 'cause this romance bullshitis making you vulnerable,
178 00:08:58 you're like an open wound.
179 00:08:59 Yeah, but I want the romance bullshit.
180 00:09:01 I like the rom-com stuff,like, kissing in the rain
181 00:09:05 and standing outside my windowwith a boombox
182 00:09:09 or confessing things in a gazebo.What's wrong with that?
183 00:09:13 Nothing, it's just shit like thatdoesn't happen in real life.
184 00:09:16 The only real thing is you and me.
185 00:09:20 Fuck the rest.
186 00:09:25 Fine. If you're so invested in this,I will try and get laid.
187 00:09:31 Yes!
188 00:09:32 But I have to be attracted to him.
189 00:09:34 - He has to be nice to me.- Okay.
190 00:09:37 And no weird fetishes.I'm not letting some guy
191 00:09:39 stick his foot in my assjust so I can say I got some.
192 00:09:42 Okay, a little kink-shamey,but point taken.
193 00:09:46 No settling.
194 00:09:47 You are gonna have missionary,
195 00:09:51 vanilla sex with the man of...
196 00:09:54 - Men of your dreams.- Oh.
197 00:09:57 And, literally, I'm not even gonna lookat another guy till you get laid, okay?
198 00:10:01 I'm serious. My only mission this weekis to make sure you're happy,
199 00:10:04 that you know I know everythingand that I'm always right.
200 00:10:07 Yeah, that definitelywon't come back to fuck me.
201 00:10:09 - Cheers.- Cheers.
202 00:10:11 When is she gonna do what she said?
203 00:10:13 Put in a hot tub.They know now that they kill STIs.
204 00:10:16 That's just a known fact in science.
205 00:10:17 Yeah,you're putting our health at risk.
206 00:10:19 Are you guys complaining right now?
207 00:10:21 We're literally in paradise.Let's go talk to cute boys.
208 00:10:24 I thinkI just saw a tick in my room.
209 00:10:30 - No!- That's dumb.
210 00:10:38 Okay. You know what?This is a good thing.
211 00:10:41 This is, um...This is a positive development for me.
212 00:10:46 Don't try and spin this.
213 00:10:47 It'll give you the opportunityto unplug from social media.
214 00:10:50 What will I look at when I shit?
215 00:10:52 Did you get Apple Care?
216 00:10:53 Dad says if you don't get Apple Care,you only have yourself to blame.
217 00:10:56 What about me havingan iPhone 6 Plus in 2022
218 00:10:59 makes you think I can afford Apple Care?
219 00:11:01 Girl, just get Mommy Erinto buy you a new one.
220 00:11:03 Don't be gross.
221 00:11:05 Unless you can.I mean, if you... Never mind.
222 00:11:09 - I'm just kidding. That was just a joke.- Oh, no.
223 00:11:11 It's not about the phone.
224 00:11:14 It's everything.
225 00:11:16 Girls, I have some terrible news.
226 00:11:19 We're broke.
227 00:11:20 What? How is that possible?
228 00:11:23 You know me,I've never been good with money.
229 00:11:25 I was an early investor in Quibi.
230 00:11:27 This house is the only good investmentI ever made.
231 00:11:29 Which is why I have to sell it.
232 00:11:32 - You're not.- Sell the house?
233 00:11:34 - It's my home.- This doesn't make sense.
234 00:11:36 - Girl, I'm sorry.- Oh, my God.
235 00:11:38 - This is our last summer.- Just stop.
236 00:11:41 Don't be ridiculous.The island's always gonna be here.
237 00:11:44 - Except the whole climate change thing.- Okay.
238 00:11:46 You don't need me.
239 00:11:48 Yeah, I do.
240 00:11:50 I mean, personally, I need all of you...
241 00:11:53 It wouldn't be the sameif we didn't come together.
242 00:11:57 - You're gonna make me cry.- Don't cry.
243 00:12:01 Okay, enough.Enough of this. It's all right.
244 00:12:04 We still have this week.
245 00:12:07 So, let's pull ourselves togetherand get ready for tea.
246 00:12:12 - Let's go get to tea.- Okay.
247 00:12:13 - You're right.- We're doing tea.
248 00:12:15 One week.
249 00:12:17 Can I tradea Crest White strip for a PrEP pill?
250 00:12:19 - I got you.- I need to change the mood.
251 00:12:31 Guess I better makethis week count, huh?
252 00:12:50 Back when it was all but illegalfor us to exist, the "Tea Dance,"
253 00:12:54 as it was called back then,was a discreet way for us
254 00:12:56 to gather and dancewithout getting arrested.
255 00:13:00 Tea has evolved a lotsince those early days.
256 00:13:04 But when it comes to sex,
257 00:13:08 some things never change.
258 00:13:12 Are you guys seriouslyon Grindr right now?
259 00:13:15 - Look where we are.- Okay, Miss Bitch.
260 00:13:17 If you had a phone,you'd be Grind-ing as well.
261 00:13:19 This isn't what the Gay Liberation Frontenvisioned for us.
262 00:13:22 Other than the Charli XCX remix,
263 00:13:24 this is exactlywhat they envisioned for us.
264 00:13:26 Seriously, what is the pointof Gay Liberation
265 00:13:29 if we can't feel a little liberated?
266 00:13:33 She's spinning!
267 00:13:35 The season has begun!
268 00:13:38 Twirl!
269 00:13:40 Spinning!
270 00:13:44 Don't look now,
271 00:13:45 but I think this guy over hereis a little obsessed with you.
272 00:13:48 What? Him?
273 00:13:51 - Who you looking at?- Are we checking someone out?
274 00:13:54 Oh, my God.Back it up, I'll take all three.
275 00:13:56 Yeah, they can definitely tellwe're looking at them now.
276 00:14:02 Did he just wave?
277 00:14:03 Yeah. And smiled.
278 00:14:05 That wouldn't be settling, right?Be right back.
279 00:14:07 - What are you doing?- Getting us a couple of drinks.
280 00:14:11 Girl, they are hot.
281 00:14:12 I don't wanna push too hard,
282 00:14:14 but the sooner Howie lets goof his insecurities and gets laid,
283 00:14:17 the sooner I can get laid.
284 00:14:22 - Hey.- Howdy.
285 00:14:23 Oh, God. Hi.
286 00:14:25 Couldn't help noticeyou lookin' at me earlier.
287 00:14:28 - No. I wasn't looking at you.- I'm Moses. Are you Korean?
288 00:14:31 You look Korean. I have a sense.
289 00:14:34 Let me get your drink.
290 00:14:36 No. My boyfriend here, he's gonna...He's gonna grab it for us.
291 00:14:39 I'm sorry, I'm not sureI understand what's going on.
292 00:14:42 Honey.
293 00:14:43 Are you Filipino? You look Filipino.
294 00:14:48 I'm gonna go.
295 00:14:51 Two Shirley Temples, please.
296 00:14:53 Okay, somebody else hasto go and get the drinks.
297 00:14:56 - What are we looking at?- Erin found that guy's Instagram.
298 00:14:59 Okay, that's frightening.
299 00:15:00 I hope he's cool though,
300 00:15:02 'cause his friendturned out to be kind of a dud!
301 00:15:04 Private Instagram? What's he hiding?
302 00:15:06 We know his name is Charlie,and he's got a dog emoji
303 00:15:10 and a plant emoji and a stethoscopeemoji. What a riddle.
304 00:15:14 We'll solve that later'cause they're leaving.
305 00:15:16 - What are you doing?- Trust me.
306 00:15:17 Said that he was cute.
307 00:15:20 Noah, it's fine.
308 00:15:22 - Oh, my God.- She fell.
309 00:15:24 What is your fucking problem?
310 00:15:26 Whoa. Are you all right?
311 00:15:29 It's fine. It happens...
312 00:15:31 All the time.
313 00:15:33 Does it really?
314 00:15:34 You must have very strong bones.
315 00:15:37 Just my knees, I guess.
316 00:15:40 Oh, God.
317 00:15:42 Oh, God, that does not sound right.Sorry.
318 00:15:44 Um, were you guys going?Because we were gonna catch the sunset.
319 00:15:49 So weird. We were, too.
320 00:15:50 Oh, great. I'm Charlie, by the way.
321 00:15:53 - We know.- What?
322 00:15:54 Never mind. Just keep walking.
323 00:15:57 Uh, do you want some whiskey?It would help with your knees.
324 00:16:01 You can trust me. I'm a doctor.
325 00:16:12 ...look like they're strawberries.
326 00:16:14 - You know?- That's a classic.
327 00:16:16 What are those called?
328 00:16:17 - Strawberries.- They are good.
329 00:16:19 Look at those two.Absolutely perfect.
330 00:16:22 Except for one small thing.
331 00:16:24 Hey, sorry. What do you do again?
332 00:16:28 The friends.That's problem number one.
333 00:16:30 I do graphic design for this start-up.
334 00:16:34 Cooper, who told us immediatelythat he's a brand manager.
335 00:16:37 Whatever that is.
336 00:16:38 And I'm a big, powerful lawyer likeChristine Baranski in The Good Wife.
337 00:16:43 Seriously?
338 00:16:44 No. Christine is the only lawyerI trust.
339 00:16:47 The rest of them are all pretty evil.
340 00:16:48 Oh. Uh, actually, Will is a lawyer.
341 00:16:52 Problem number two. Will.
342 00:16:55 He's from L. A., super rich, and thinkshe's way better than all of us.
343 00:16:59 Uh, my bad. Sorry.
344 00:17:01 I'm just a nurse, you know?
345 00:17:04 Essential services. Saving lives.
346 00:17:06 - Uh, what concentration? Trauma...- Oh, no. Free clinic for gay sluts.
347 00:17:10 I mostly just weigh people
348 00:17:12 and steal doxycyclinefor prophylactic purposes.
349 00:17:15 - Oh, my God, it's starting. Look alive.- Okay.
350 00:17:18 Ten... Nine... Eight...
351 00:17:22 Seven... Six... Five...
352 00:17:26 - Five...- Five...
353 00:17:28 Five...
354 00:17:30 - Four...- Four, point five...
355 00:17:32 Three...
356 00:17:35 Two...
357 00:17:38 One...
358 00:17:41 - Point nine...- Point nine...
359 00:17:44 - Point eight...- Point seven...
360 00:17:47 - Point six...- Point five...
361 00:17:49 - Point four...- Point three...
362 00:17:51 Point two...
363 00:17:55 That was better than last time.
364 00:17:57 - I'm proud of you, girl. You set.- Congratulations, everyone.
365 00:18:02 - We love her. Love that girl.- I'll see you tomorrow, girl.
366 00:18:05 Um, it's just a stupid bitwe like to do.
367 00:18:07 It's funny. You're funny.
368 00:18:13 Well, it was nice meeting you,and I'll see you around the island.
369 00:18:17 Yeah, totally.
370 00:18:21 What the fuck are you doing?Wanna get fucked or not?
371 00:18:24 I mean, not really.
372 00:18:25 Plus, he's, like, a super-hot doctor.And I'm...
373 00:18:28 Do not finish that sentence.You are a prize to be won, okay?
374 00:18:32 So get over there, seal the deal.
375 00:18:33 Sorry.
376 00:18:35 Wow. Um...
377 00:18:37 Hey, would you boys like to cometo sort of like an after-party at ours?
378 00:18:41 It's very chill, just like
379 00:18:42 - wine and a hot tub.- Oh.
380 00:18:44 We actually would love to,but we gotta check with our house,
381 00:18:47 'cause I think we have other plans,but we'd love to fit you in.
382 00:18:50 Okay, so there's a soft plan to goto their house for a hot tub thing.
383 00:18:53 - Yes. A hot tub!- What? Hot tub?
384 00:18:56 - Hot tub. Hot tub. Hot...- Everybody shut up!
385 00:18:59 - Shh, stop.- Yes.
386 00:19:00 - Absolutely.- Hell yeah.
387 00:19:02 - Be chill about it.- Okay.
388 00:19:05 Yeah, that should work for us.
389 00:19:07 I really don't thinkwe needed to bring anything.
390 00:19:10 And if you did wanna bring something,
391 00:19:12 a full bottle of winewould've been the play.
392 00:19:14 Are you crazy?I just told you we're broke.
393 00:19:16 Wait. Do they have a house on the beach?
394 00:19:19 Well, we can't go over there.We are literal trash.
395 00:19:22 - I'm sure their house is like ours...- We're here.
396 00:19:27 Yeah, we definitelycan't bring that in here.
397 00:19:29 Oh, my God.
398 00:19:32 A lot of people think you have tobe successful, white and rich
399 00:19:36 with seven percent body fatto vacation on Fire Island.
400 00:19:39 Those people are all at this party.
401 00:19:41 Excuse me. Can we help you?
402 00:19:44 That's code.He does not wanna help us.
403 00:19:47 Yeah. Hi. Is Charlie here?
404 00:19:51 I think you may have the wrong house.
405 00:19:53 Why would you think that?
406 00:19:56 Oh, my God.
407 00:19:58 - You all.- You know them?
408 00:20:01 Of course.
409 00:20:02 They're the cute little friendswe made at tea.
410 00:20:04 And "cute little friends" is codefor not a fuckable one in the bunch.
411 00:20:08 Get up here.Don't be rude, Braden.
412 00:20:10 - Get up here, he says.- Such a bad girl.
413 00:20:14 Hey, you guys smell good.Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce?
414 00:20:18 Good stuff.
415 00:20:19 We should talk later.
416 00:20:20 These stairs is nice.Bitch, I feel like we're plus one.
417 00:20:23 What's the address?I wanna order thousands of 'em.
418 00:20:25 How you doing?
419 00:20:27 Bitch, you're on snacks. I'm on drinks.
420 00:20:29 - Go.- Okay.
421 00:20:30 - A shot, please.- I got this.
422 00:20:31 - Let me just do it.- I was a bartender.
423 00:20:33 - You were a bar-back.- Semantics.
424 00:20:36 You wanna slow down.It's like night one. Jesus.
425 00:20:39 Excuse me, Dad.Did you not hear Erin before?
426 00:20:41 - We have to make the most of this night.- Fair point.
427 00:20:44 Oh, my God.Bitch. Look at all of this cheese.
428 00:20:48 Bring that here.I can use that as a garnish.
429 00:20:51 Guess you guys aren't bottoming tonight.
430 00:20:53 Actually, I'm one of the cleanestever, I've been told, bottom-wise.
431 00:20:58 Can you cut limes right now?
432 00:20:59 - Cut limes?- We can handle knives, right?
433 00:21:01 Yeah, why not?
434 00:21:03 He starts, Gays in Space.
435 00:21:05 And Jason Batemanis surprisingly a good gay person.
436 00:21:08 In like a very happy way.
437 00:21:10 - You have to see it. It's like...- Okay.
438 00:21:12 - ...really important.- Hey, guys. What'd I miss?
439 00:21:16 I was just explaining this SNL sketch.He's never seen Gays in Space.
440 00:21:19 Honestly, the way you explained it,I don't even wanna watch the sketch now.
441 00:21:23 - You should probably watch the sketch.- I refuse to.
442 00:21:25 - Why are you being...- Adamantly.
443 00:21:27 Charlie. Have you seen Will?I can't find him. He's hiding.
444 00:21:32 Oh. Um...
445 00:21:33 No, I haven't. But, uh... If you willexcuse me, I'll be right back.
446 00:21:40 Cooper, have you heard of Gays in Space?
447 00:21:43 Is that like Space balls?
448 00:21:48 Girl, please tell me you have not spentthe entire conversation
449 00:21:51 walking him through old SNL sketches.
450 00:21:53 Shut up. It's a classic.But, no, it's been nice.
451 00:21:58 He's a pediatrician,isn't that so adorable?
452 00:22:00 Sure. But is he a top or bottom,does he eat ass, is he on PrEP?
453 00:22:04 Have you gained no vital information?
454 00:22:06 It's not like that.I think he just likes talking to me.
455 00:22:10 Then what the fuck are we doing here?
456 00:22:12 These people are not our people.I was talking to one of them.
457 00:22:15 He thinks Lindsey Grahamwas in The Parent Trap.
458 00:22:18 Yikes.
459 00:22:19 I gotta pee.
460 00:22:26 Lindsey Graham in The Parent Trap.I would watch that.
461 00:22:44 Hmm.
462 00:22:46 Let's see what Charlie's working with.
463 00:22:48 He hasn't asked me for drugs.It just feels special.
464 00:22:52 And he is nothing like Rhys,I will say that for him.
465 00:22:54 Yeah, well, you just met him,so it's kind of hard to know.
466 00:22:57 He hasn't asked mewhat I'm into one time.
467 00:23:00 It's so nice.
468 00:23:02 Okay. I'm just sayingyou've been single for what? A month?
469 00:23:05 Calm down.I think that he's cute and funny.
470 00:23:09 - Great.- That's all I said.
471 00:23:11 Translation.He wants to dick my friend down.
472 00:23:15 - What about his friends?- They're nice.
473 00:23:17 They're clearly using usfor free liquor.
474 00:23:19 Have you seen the way they're drinking?
475 00:23:21 Okay, yeah.They're a little quirky, but, um...
476 00:23:26 - What about Noah?- He's fine.
477 00:23:29 He's not hot enoughto be that annoying, though.
478 00:23:31 I'm so glad I invited you.You're always so positive.
479 00:23:35 Why am I here, Charlie?
480 00:23:36 Because Cooper's justa family friend,
481 00:23:39 and I wanted a real friend with me.
482 00:23:41 Is that so bad?
483 00:23:42 I want you to be careful, that's all.
484 00:23:44 You're a good person, and peopletake advantage of that all the time.
485 00:23:47 Especially the kind of peoplethat come here.
486 00:23:49 What does that mean?
487 00:23:51 This place is a playgroundfor superficial, vapid morons.
488 00:23:56 Will, promise meyou'll try to have a good time.
489 00:24:02 Okay.
490 00:24:12 - Everything has buckles on it now.- Shade is good on him. It's his color.
491 00:24:15 - We were just talking about you.- Oh, I know.
492 00:24:18 Yeah, they were wonderingwhere you got your Speedo from.
493 00:24:21 It's so cute. Did you get it on Amazon?
494 00:24:24 No, it's an heirloom.It's been in my family for generations.
495 00:24:28 - What?- Mine's this little boutique brand.
496 00:24:30 - You probably haven't heard of them.- Is it Charlie?
497 00:24:33 Because it says "Charlie"in big, bold letters on your ass.
498 00:24:36 I'm sorry, am I being annoying?
499 00:24:40 - Yeah.- We have a problem.
500 00:24:47 Are they bringing cheeseinto the hot tub?
501 00:24:49 So sorry.We'll take them home right now.
502 00:24:51 No, you stay. We got this, right?
503 00:24:53 Absolutely. Thank you.We had such a great time.
504 00:24:57 Wonderful party.
505 00:24:59 Put that brie down!No, not in the water!
506 00:25:02 Hey, what is going on with you tonight?
507 00:25:05 Listen. Do you like that guy?Is he nice to you?
508 00:25:08 Has he expressedany interest in kinky sex?
509 00:25:11 Yes. Yes. No.
510 00:25:13 Then it doesn't matterwhat's going on with me.
511 00:25:15 You got this.
512 00:25:18 But whatever you do,do not let these people think
513 00:25:20 they are better than us,because at the end...
514 00:25:24 That is nasty.
515 00:25:26 Damn, bitch.
516 00:25:30 One of them stole this speaker.I don't know where it goes.
517 00:25:34 Disgusting.
518 00:25:36 Never mind.
519 00:25:37 Girl, get that shit out.
520 00:25:39 He's on PrEP.
521 00:25:40 - You okay?- Oh, my God, no.
522 00:25:42 - Party's over, babe.- Come on.
523 00:25:44 - I threw up.- I told you.
524 00:25:46 I puked. Yes. Thank you.
525 00:25:49 Just think abouthow skinny you will be, girl.
526 00:25:51 You guys ever see Gays in Space?
527 00:25:54 They hate me now!
528 00:26:05 That's my girl.
529 00:26:11 Hey, did Howie make it home last night?
530 00:26:13 No, if you can believe it.
531 00:26:15 That little whore.
532 00:26:16 Our little Howie with a doctor. It'll belike having health insurance again.
533 00:26:20 Okay, chill out.It's just a one-night thing.
534 00:26:22 Yeah, like, we don't even knowif anything happened.
535 00:26:25 - Maybe they killed him.- Okay. Don't be bitter.
536 00:26:27 - Did anybody bother to text him?- I did. But it went to green.
537 00:26:31 Maybe Keegan's right.
538 00:26:33 Although, you are more likelyto get murdered in your own home.
539 00:26:36 - It's why I never host.- Fuck. Uh...
540 00:26:38 You know what? I bet his phone died.
541 00:26:40 I'll go get him.
542 00:26:52 Excuse me. Um, can we help you?
543 00:26:54 Seriously, this again?
544 00:26:56 Oh, my God. Howie?
545 00:26:58 Oh, my God. Hi.
546 00:27:00 See, Braden, I'm a friend.Is Howie still here?
547 00:27:04 He is, poor thing.
548 00:27:06 I think he dranka little too much last night.
549 00:27:08 Top-shelf stuffhits a little different than well.
550 00:27:11 Can I go check on him?
551 00:27:16 Last night, literally last night.
552 00:27:25 Hey.
553 00:27:27 You're back.
554 00:27:30 Yep. Just came to check on my friend.
555 00:27:33 - Uh, your friend's upstairs, I think.- Great.
556 00:27:36 Uh, wait.
557 00:27:42 Here. He might need this.
558 00:27:45 Thanks.
559 00:27:46 I also just wanted to say sorryabout last night.
560 00:27:51 Braden wasn't super welcoming. So...
561 00:27:52 - Braden? You're apologizing for Braden?- I don't understand.
562 00:27:57 Little tip. The tap water here,safe to drink.
563 00:27:59 You don't have to pollute the oceansor waste your money with bottles.
564 00:28:08 You're right.
565 00:28:13 Noted.
566 00:28:16 Nice.
567 00:28:26 Look at you, superstar.
568 00:28:29 I want to die.
569 00:28:32 What happened? I haven't seen youlike this since your Four Loko days.
570 00:28:35 I think it's the expensive booze.Guess my body is used to well.
571 00:28:39 Where are people getting this?That's not science.
572 00:28:42 I'm humiliated.
573 00:28:44 Oh, no.
574 00:28:46 I take it you didn't make it happenwith the doctor last night?
575 00:28:49 No. I spent most of the night in here.
576 00:28:53 But he did stay up with me, though.
577 00:28:56 Well, that's good.It means he's into you.
578 00:28:58 But it is day two. I think we shouldstart looking into other options.
579 00:29:01 Yeah. Totally. I'm surethere's tons of cute guys on this island
580 00:29:05 who would miss a party to watch me puke.
581 00:29:08 Well, he is a doctor,so he sort of has to.
582 00:29:13 Right.
583 00:29:16 He did this thing, though,
584 00:29:19 where he was rubbing my backwhile I was sick,
585 00:29:22 and I don't know how to explain it,
586 00:29:26 but it felt really intimate.
587 00:29:30 I don't know. I'm being stupid.
588 00:29:32 No, you're not being stupid.It's just...
589 00:29:34 Don't get sucked into one guy's orbit.
590 00:29:36 Right.
591 00:29:38 Knock, knock.
592 00:29:40 Hi. Sorry.Will told me you were up here.
593 00:29:42 I just came to check on our patient.
594 00:29:44 Well, he's pregnantand he's not raising this baby alone.
595 00:29:49 I'm fine.
596 00:29:51 Thank you again for everything.
597 00:29:53 Of course. Don't mention it.Honestly, my back feels incredible.
598 00:29:57 I might just start sleepingon the bathroom floor every night.
599 00:30:05 This is bleak.
600 00:30:07 Charlie, do you wanna comeand eat dinner at our house tonight?
601 00:30:09 As, like, a thank you.
602 00:30:12 You don't have to do that.
603 00:30:13 Oh, please. You took suchgood care of Howie, let us repay you.
604 00:30:18 Uh, can I invite the rest of my house?
605 00:30:21 That could be fun, right?
606 00:30:24 Sure.
607 00:30:26 The more the merrier.
608 00:30:29 Why did you springa dinner on me like this?
609 00:30:31 You love throwing dinner parties.
610 00:30:33 It makes it really stressfulto be friends with you.
611 00:30:35 For you, I could put outa platter of uncooked hot dogs
612 00:30:38 and you kids would eat it right up.
613 00:30:40 - We wouldn't.- We can cancel if you want.
614 00:30:42 I would rather die.
615 00:30:43 Go to the Pantry. I'll text you a list.
616 00:30:45 Find anything dented, label-lessor on the brink of expiration.
617 00:30:50 - Fly, you fools!- All right.
618 00:30:52 - All right. Enough. Let's go.- Let's go.
619 00:30:54 - Not enough.- Bitch, where we going?
620 00:30:58 And for you to charge $11for one box of Cheez-Its,
621 00:31:01 which you fully well knowa box of Cheez-Its is on average $7.59
622 00:31:04 in any store in New York,
623 00:31:06 and I don't throw this term aroundlightly, sweetheart, is homophobic.
624 00:31:10 Sir, I don't set the prices.
625 00:31:12 - I don't care.- Sir...
626 00:31:14 I'm not done.
627 00:31:15 I mean, he's not wrong.The prices here are psychotic.
628 00:31:17 You can thank capitalism for that,by the way.
629 00:31:19 Calm down, Bernie Sanders.I personally love the Pantry.
630 00:31:22 Small businesses are the lifebloodof this country.
631 00:31:24 And also, who says we have to pay?
632 00:31:27 Yeah, when we livedabove that Whole Foods in college,
633 00:31:30 we got so good at stealing.
634 00:31:33 You would not believe how many Kind barsI can fit in Keegan's ass.
635 00:31:36 My girl is like a Costco.
636 00:31:38 Wait, like, in holeor, like, just between the cheeks?
637 00:31:41 I don't know.
638 00:31:47 Um, okay, crazy hot guychecking you out by the produce.
639 00:31:51 I saw. But we're not doing me right now,
640 00:31:53 we're doing youand that pink hole of yours.
641 00:31:55 Ew. Stop. Gross. Forget I said anything.Here, go do something useful
642 00:31:58 and dent these cansso we can get a discount.
643 00:32:11 - Hey.- It was like this when I found it.
644 00:32:14 Oh.
645 00:32:15 Shit. This is humiliating.
646 00:32:19 It's cool.
647 00:32:22 Oh.
648 00:32:25 I'm poor, too.
649 00:32:26 I meant what I said to Howie.
650 00:32:28 I'm committed to my duties as wing man,
651 00:32:30 which makes meeting someonewho looks like this...
652 00:32:32 - You've read The Ethical Slut.- Yeah, it's formative.
653 00:32:35 ...extremely inconvenient.
654 00:32:36 It's part of the reasonwhy I'm so annoying.
655 00:32:39 That and my parents.They're so messed up.
656 00:32:42 It's like, what has heteronormativityever done for them?
657 00:32:44 What are you guyseven talking about over here?
658 00:32:46 Noah always does this, so...
659 00:32:48 He meets someone fun
660 00:32:49 and then she scares 'em awaywith all her talking.
661 00:32:52 - Did you have Pedialyte?- I had...
662 00:32:54 Who is Howie talking to?
663 00:32:56 Oh. Them again.
664 00:32:58 - Oh, shit.- I'm telling you,
665 00:33:01 - Pedialyte works.- Come on.
666 00:33:02 I know.It's like Gatorade without the nasty...
667 00:33:04 - Hello.- Oh, my goodness.
668 00:33:07 I hope that you did notget all this for us.
669 00:33:11 Hi, Dex!
670 00:33:13 Wait, how do you guys know Dex?
671 00:33:15 - Uh, we just met. Is he with you guys?- No.
672 00:33:19 We just knowa lot of the same people, I guess.
673 00:33:22 Yeah, I knew Will back in California.
674 00:33:24 You didn't strike me as a teeny-tiny-little-ice-cream-cone sorta guy. Cute.
675 00:33:29 It's melting.
676 00:33:31 Huh.
677 00:33:34 Um, okay. Well, we should get all thishome. We will see you guys at dinner.
678 00:33:38 - Actually, Dex, why don't you come?- Yes, you have to.
679 00:33:41 - Oh, my God, please come.- Yeah, come.
680 00:33:43 Yeah, it'll give youa chance to catch up with Will.
681 00:33:46 That would be fun, right?
682 00:33:51 Yeah. Awesome.
683 00:33:54 Okay, so we really have to go.Raw chicken, direct sunlight...
684 00:33:57 Of course.
685 00:33:58 - Bye.- We'll see you later.
686 00:33:59 - Later.- See you later.
687 00:34:00 - Bye, Howie.- Bye, Charlie.
688 00:34:02 I didn't preparefor an extra person, but...
689 00:34:04 What are you up to, you little troll?
690 00:34:06 I thought I'd make dinnera little more interesting.
691 00:34:08 Oh, my God.
692 00:34:18 Something important to understandabout Fire Island
693 00:34:21 is that time sort ofworks differently here.
694 00:34:26 For whatever reason,call it magic or too many drugs,
695 00:34:30 a full day in the Pines
696 00:34:31 can equal anywhere between a weekto three months out in the real world.
697 00:34:38 You can catch feelingsafter just one day.
698 00:34:41 People don't like it when you putmake-up on it. I'm sorry, it's true.
699 00:34:46 All kinds of feelings.
700 00:34:52 I really thought every houseon the island had a hot tub.
701 00:34:55 Yeah, I know, it's crazy, right?
702 00:34:57 We have a GoFundMe set up,so fingers crossed, though.
703 00:35:00 Hi, by the way.Where is the rest of your house?
704 00:35:02 Um, yeah. Braden and the boys,they're feeling a little tired.
705 00:35:07 Well, thank God you had the energy.
706 00:35:10 Oh, God. Five minutesand you've already found a book?
707 00:35:13 Yeah, that's mine.
708 00:35:15 You're reading Alice Munro?
709 00:35:16 Yeah, I blazed throughAnimorphs already, so...
710 00:35:19 No, I... Sorry. I just didn't thinkanybody would be reading here.
711 00:35:23 You're so good.I always mean to.
712 00:35:25 Yeah, well, I just do like audio booksand stuff, or a podcast.
713 00:35:29 What kind of a gay persongoes on vacation to do homework?
714 00:35:32 A literate one.
715 00:35:35 You're so funny. You're all so funny.Very biting, like, um...
716 00:35:40 Do you know who Amy Schumer is?
717 00:35:41 Hey, I wanna show you something thatI'm gonna think of when I get inside.
718 00:35:46 Why don't we go do that?
719 00:35:49 I'm gonna Face Time my mombefore I get too fucked up tonight.
720 00:35:52 I forgot her birthday, again.What's your Wi-Fi password?
721 00:35:55 Cherry Jones,but all the E's are threes.
722 00:36:09 So, you a big reader?
723 00:36:16 I am.
724 00:36:19 "And you,do you like to read?"
725 00:36:21 - "I do. Thank you..."- Excuse me?
726 00:36:24 That's how conversations work.Generally, in my experience...
727 00:36:27 Why would I ask a questionI already know the answer to?
728 00:36:30 Doesn't have to bethat question, specifically.
729 00:36:32 - Do you really not know how this works?- What's your favorite story?
730 00:36:37 Uh...
731 00:36:39 I don't know. Powers.
732 00:36:45 It's, um, you know,it's quintessential Alice.
733 00:36:49 It's got all the narrative restraintand beautiful prose
734 00:36:53 and then, at the same time,it's this weird departure for her.
735 00:36:57 Really? How?
736 00:36:59 Well, normally,what she writes about is so domestic,
737 00:37:04 you know,and then, in this one, she's like,
738 00:37:06 "Here's this girl with superpowersand it's crazy like..."
739 00:37:10 I don't know if that's definitive.
740 00:37:12 Yeah, it is.The story is literally called "Powers."
741 00:37:15 That girl has superpowers.
742 00:37:16 In terms of the storythat she's actually telling,
743 00:37:19 I don't think it ultimately mattersif she has powers...
744 00:37:22 If it ultimately doesn't matter,why are we arguing?
745 00:37:24 - I didn't think we were arguing.- So, let me win.
746 00:37:28 Okay.
747 00:37:32 You win.
748 00:37:34 Somehow I'm mad and horny.
749 00:37:36 I can't believe you talked meinto showing you.
750 00:37:40 - I didn't talk you into it...- Oh, damn.
751 00:37:42 Howie doesn't normallyshow people that sketchbook.
752 00:37:45 - He must really like your friend.- I see.
753 00:37:49 Is there a problem?
754 00:37:52 I don't know your friend, okay?But I do know Charlie,
755 00:37:55 and people tend to mistakehis kindness for affection.
756 00:37:58 Well, I know Howie
757 00:38:00 and I think he just wants to showyour friend some doodles, so, chill.
758 00:38:03 Excuse me, gay community.
759 00:38:06 Look who we found. The king.
760 00:38:08 He literally said the funniest thingever. Tell 'em, it's so funny.
761 00:38:11 - I'm not gonna say it.- Tell 'em now.
762 00:38:14 Mm.
763 00:38:16 Is this where the orgy is?
764 00:38:19 "Is this where the orgy is?"Who says "orgy"?
765 00:38:22 You're so crazy!
766 00:38:23 We're gonna head insideand play a little fun pre-dinner game.
767 00:38:27 Uh, we don't... We don't play games.We're... We're adults.
768 00:38:31 Oh, my bad. Howie, turn on 60 Minutes.
769 00:38:34 Sorry, just ignore him.Tonight we are going to be game people.
770 00:38:39 What kind of game is it?
771 00:38:41 Oh, it's real low-stakes, real chill.
772 00:38:45 - No! What the fuck!- Are you kidding me?
773 00:38:47 - What is wrong with you?- Act the scene.
774 00:38:49 - Don't you even think about...- Do not pass on this icon.
775 00:38:52 "No. The defense is wrong!"
776 00:38:54 "No. The defense is wrong!"
777 00:38:56 - "No. The defense is wrong!"- "No! The defense is wrong!"
778 00:38:59 - And Joe Pesci like, "How do you know?"- And she goes, "I'm positive."
779 00:39:03 - "I'm positive."- Penelope Cruz?
780 00:39:06 "My biological clockis ticking like this
781 00:39:09 "and the way this case is going,I ain't never getting married."
782 00:39:12 - The deer with the little... Bam!- Come on!
783 00:39:14 - A bullet hits you in the head.- Rosie Perez?
784 00:39:16 - Oh, my God.- Almost respect you for saying her name.
785 00:39:19 - Bitch, who is this?- In the Bedroom nominee.
786 00:39:21 - Laura Dern?- Yeah, we get it, you're gay.
787 00:39:25 Seriously?You couldn't get Marisa Tomei,
788 00:39:27 - but you got Alicia Vikander?- Told you I didn't wanna play.
789 00:39:30 That's the problem with Hollywood.
790 00:39:32 It's people like youwho forget about Marisa Tomei,
791 00:39:35 but they remember Alicia Vikander. Flop.
792 00:39:38 She was really great in Ex Ma chin a.
793 00:39:40 You need to stay out of this, you.
794 00:39:41 Hey, do you wanna go get a drink?
795 00:39:43 Seems like this could go on for a while.
796 00:39:46 Why do I care about Ex Ma chin a?
797 00:39:48 - Robot blobot. It don't matter.- Can we stop?
798 00:39:50 God! I knew it would be bad,but I didn't think it'd be that bad.
799 00:39:54 Jesus, that guy is not good at games.
800 00:39:57 Yeah.
801 00:39:59 What is that? What's going on there?Did you guys used to fuck or something?
802 00:40:03 - Who? Me and Will?- Yeah.
803 00:40:05 Yeah, no, God.
804 00:40:07 No, guys like Willdo not fuck guys like me.
805 00:40:10 Oh, right, I forgot. You're hideous.
806 00:40:13 I mean, everyone in his circle
807 00:40:15 is hot, or rich, or both.
808 00:40:18 But, um, his real issue was, um...
809 00:40:24 Okay, I'm just gonna beup front with you.
810 00:40:27 I sort of have an OnlyFans.It's just pictures of me.
811 00:40:30 I'm not tryingto be a porn star or anything.
812 00:40:32 You don't have to do that.
813 00:40:34 You know, "sex work is work,"and all that.
814 00:40:36 Well, for guys like Will,social gatekeepers, you know...
815 00:40:42 It's a pretty big deal breaker.
816 00:40:45 Gay guyslike that are ruining this island.
817 00:40:48 Yeah, but then again,
818 00:40:51 there are gay guys...
819 00:40:54 like you.
820 00:40:55 Yeah, I'm just another horny idiot.
821 00:40:58 Mm-hmm.
822 00:40:59 - I can work with that.- Yeah?
823 00:41:01 Yeah.
824 00:41:07 Dinner is served.
825 00:41:13 So there I was, on my hands and kneesin the middle of the Meat Rack
826 00:41:17 trying to use the light on my flip phone
827 00:41:22 to scan this chick's pussy for crabs.
828 00:41:26 Erin, we're literally eating right now.
829 00:41:29 Wait, did she... Did she, you know...
830 00:41:32 She did, but it was so worth it.
831 00:41:34 Oh, you still went through with it?
832 00:41:36 She was one of the great lovesof my life.
833 00:41:39 We dated for two years.We told everybody we met at Red Lobster.
834 00:41:51 Thank you so much for this dinner.
835 00:41:53 We don't usually eat this wellwhen we're here.
836 00:41:56 Stop, you big flirt.
837 00:41:58 Oh, I'm serious. And it's not justthe dinner, it's all of you. You're...
838 00:42:03 You're all so differentthan anyone I've ever met before.
839 00:42:09 I meant that in a good way.
840 00:42:11 Like, um, Will, you... You guys get it?
841 00:42:15 No, it's cool.We do take this week pretty seriously.
842 00:42:19 You know, that's why it's reallygonna suck next year when we, uh...
843 00:42:24 You know...
844 00:42:27 - It's...- Okay, enough of this talk.
845 00:42:30 Mm. You gotta forgive Noah.
846 00:42:32 He is the most sensitiveof all of my boys.
847 00:42:36 I guess he cares about usa little too much.
848 00:42:40 Okay, who saved room for dessert?
849 00:42:41 - I did.- Yes, please.
850 00:42:43 The different girls will get dessert.Just the different girls.
851 00:42:46 Oh, fuck this. It's fine. I'm fine.
852 00:42:49 We still have a week.
853 00:42:51 Does anyone want a refill? Charlie?
854 00:42:55 Come on.
855 00:42:58 Shut up, that did not happen.
856 00:43:01 Maybe I'm exaggerating,but I swear to God, that was his vibe.
857 00:43:04 Who cares? None of this mattersunless you fucked. Did you fuck?
858 00:43:09 We did not fuck.
859 00:43:12 Howard! I gave you uninterrupted accessto our room for 27 minutes.
860 00:43:17 What the fuck were you doing?
861 00:43:18 Ten bucks says they were doing a puzzle.
862 00:43:20 Tell me you weren't doing a puzzle.
863 00:43:25 - Yeah.- Yeah.
864 00:43:27 Twenty-seven minutes isnot long enough to do a puzzle,
865 00:43:30 - or have sex, for that matter.- That's an episode of Chopped.
866 00:43:33 Do you need longerthan an episode of Chopped to have sex?
867 00:43:35 Seriously. Spill.Did you make any progress?
868 00:43:41 Coming out was a mess.
869 00:43:43 My mom, she definitelytook it a little bit better.
870 00:43:47 But my dad...
871 00:43:49 Only son and all that typical dad shit.
872 00:43:53 But that's why my friends...
873 00:43:55 You know, you find the familythat can fill in the gaps.
874 00:44:03 Shut up! Get to the good part.
875 00:44:06 What?
876 00:44:07 You're just really smart
877 00:44:11 and funny,
878 00:44:14 and, um...
879 00:44:16 And...
880 00:44:22 Was there tongue?
881 00:44:24 Okay, awesome.
882 00:44:25 So you've laid the groundwork perfectlyto seal the deal tonight.
883 00:44:28 - But tonight's underwear party.- Yeah.
884 00:44:30 You take him into the dark room,get fucked, we all move on.
885 00:44:32 In the dark room? In front of everyone?
886 00:44:35 Why do you care so much?
887 00:44:36 Because I'm not getting laid untilyou do, and my blue balls are terminal.
888 00:44:39 Get laid, please.God. It's like your thing.
889 00:44:42 Plus, Dex seems like a lock.
890 00:44:44 Okay, you know what, I'm sorry,he flirts with all of us. So shut up.
891 00:44:49 I don't know why you guysdon't think of me as more of a threat.
892 00:44:52 'Cause Dex wasgiving me eyes last night.
893 00:44:54 Me, too.
894 00:44:56 No, he wasn't.
895 00:44:57 Now you two salivatingover a basic white guy again.
896 00:45:00 Okay, whatever. Dex is great.
897 00:45:02 And fringe benefit,he really pisses off Will.
898 00:45:04 I think Will might bea little bit jealous.
899 00:45:06 What?
900 00:45:08 - A little bit jealous.- Of who?
901 00:45:11 Can you stop?
902 00:45:12 What? I need the pump.
903 00:45:14 Maybe Will is jealous of Dex? Or you?
904 00:45:17 No. Dex gave me the download.Will thinks we're trash.
905 00:45:20 He might be a little bitmore complex than that.
906 00:45:22 Who told you that? Charlie?
907 00:45:24 No, but also Charlie wouldn't be friendswith a complete asshole.
908 00:45:27 Whatever. That guy is just anothertoken Asian in a sea of white friends.
909 00:45:31 Way harsh, Tai.
910 00:45:35 I really thinkyou might be wrong about this.
911 00:45:37 - Keegan, did you paint on abs?- I just did a little highlight.
912 00:45:41 I've got three roaches, two bagswith maybe one bump between them,
913 00:45:45 and an old bottle of poppers.
914 00:45:46 I stole a couple ofmy brother's Adderall
915 00:45:48 and if you take it with half an edible,it's basically Molly.
916 00:45:51 I found this on the groundat Battle Hymn a couple weeks ago.
917 00:45:54 It could be Molly,or it could be, like, a probiotic.
918 00:45:57 Mm. Interesting.I've got half a bottle of G
919 00:45:59 and also a full bag of Kthat I got in Mexico.
920 00:46:02 - Oh!- I'm not doing drugs tonight.
921 00:46:05 - Okay.- I'll take that.
922 00:46:06 - Yeah, I'm gonna take...- None of you are gonna pressure me?
923 00:46:09 Well, you don't do drugs.That's not news.
924 00:46:11 Yeah, babe, we love you,
925 00:46:13 you're family to us, but we no longerbelieve we can make you fun.
926 00:46:17 Is it down in one? Or how do I...
927 00:46:19 - Save some drugs for me.- No.
928 00:46:21 - Oh, hey, girl.- Hey.
929 00:46:22 - Sure you don't wanna come with us?- To Cherry Grove?
930 00:46:25 - You know I'm not allowed.- Seriously? That fire was ten years ago.
931 00:46:28 Lesbians never forget.Besides, I have so much to do here.
932 00:46:33 You'll have a good time.You don't need me.
933 00:46:36 - I'll be fine.- We love you.
934 00:46:38 I love you, too. I'll miss you, too.
935 00:46:41 I know, I know,I love you, miss you. I love you.
936 00:46:45 Don't forget to hydrate. So much to do.
937 00:46:53 Cherry Grove is so far.We should've taken a water taxi.
938 00:46:56 Because Charlie said his housewas taking a water taxi.
939 00:46:58 Girl, the water taxiis nine bucks per person.
940 00:47:01 Know how many water bottleswe could get for that?
941 00:47:03 - One?- Exactly.
942 00:47:04 We'll take one when we go back.
943 00:47:06 It's betterwhen you're fucked up anyway.
944 00:47:07 - Ah.- Oh.
945 00:47:09 We're here.Okay, look alive, everybody.
946 00:47:12 This might be the last timewe get to do this together,
947 00:47:14 so let's make it count.
948 00:47:16 Should we pray?I feel like we should pray.
949 00:47:19 I'm gonna get so fucked up tonightI forget my own name.
950 00:47:22 Amen.
951 00:47:27 No week on Fire Islandwould be complete
952 00:47:29 if you didn't make an appearanceat the underwear party.
953 00:47:33 It's the one partywhere everyone is invited.
954 00:47:37 The price of admission, just 20 bucksand a little bit of dignity.
955 00:47:41 Now, let's get in there.
956 00:47:43 - And get fucked up!- Yay!
957 00:47:45 Three, two, one.
958 00:47:52 Are you sure you should be takingLuke's floor pill?
959 00:47:55 We don't even know what it is.
960 00:47:56 Whatever. The world's gonna endin 15 years anyways.
961 00:47:58 I might as well go outin my underwear tonight. Right, guys?
962 00:48:08 Do you see Charlie?
963 00:48:11 No, but I have a lead.
964 00:48:13 - Let's go talk to him.- Do we have to?
965 00:48:15 He's not even wearing his underwear.
966 00:48:16 If you're gonna be at the party,be at the party.
967 00:48:18 Come on. Be nice.
968 00:48:24 Hey. Is Charlie with you?
969 00:48:27 - I think he's outside.- We should go outside then...
970 00:48:30 No, I'll go.You stay in case he comes back.
971 00:48:34 - That doesn't make any sense.- Yes, it does.
972 00:49:09 So, this has to bethe drugs, right?
973 00:49:28 Hi. Got a quick sec?
974 00:49:31 Yeah. Sure.
975 00:49:39 Sorry to pull you away, it's just...
976 00:49:41 I wanted to talk to you about something,and it's a little awkward.
977 00:49:46 No worries. What's up?
978 00:49:49 I wanted to talk to you about Will.
979 00:49:51 Oh. Okay. Why?
980 00:49:53 He's such a great guy, right?And, like, so rich.
981 00:49:57 He owns a huge house in the Hills.I think he comes from money.
982 00:50:01 He's got, like, that rich,prep-school kind of trauma,
983 00:50:04 that's why his voice is so deep.
984 00:50:07 Plus he's, like, kind of hot, right?
985 00:50:11 - Sure.- So, you do think he's hot?
986 00:50:14 Damn it.
987 00:50:15 It's crazy, right?
988 00:50:16 I'm not normallyinto like that kind of guy, but...
989 00:50:19 Like, an Asian guy?
990 00:50:22 Oh, my God, I did not say that.You said that.
991 00:50:24 Don't project that on me.
992 00:50:26 I actually really lovethat he's of a different culture.
993 00:50:29 Plus, I think his mom is white.
994 00:50:31 Uh, I'm so sorry.What are we talking about?
995 00:50:35 I just wanted to tell you,because you're a friend,
996 00:50:38 that, like, Charlie sort ofbrought Will here to hook up with me.
997 00:50:42 I'm moving to L. A. next yearand I need a starter boyfriend.
998 00:50:46 And I saw you circling,
999 00:50:48 and I just wanna make surethings don't get awkward.
1000 00:50:50 - Okay, hon?- I was not circling Will.
1001 00:50:52 Hey. I was looking for you.
1002 00:50:55 Um...
1003 00:50:56 There is an emergency inside.It's medical. It's a medical emergency.
1004 00:51:01 Oh, my God. Well, then I should gobecause I'm a nurse.
1005 00:51:05 And, yeah, so I'm gonna go.But good luck with your little mission.
1006 00:51:09 There's no medical emergency, right?
1007 00:51:10 No, I was just thinking we could goabsolutely nuts on the dance floor.
1008 00:51:44 I can't deal with these feelsin my body
1009 00:51:48 Yeah, so,this is usually the moment
1010 00:51:50 where I completely debase myselfin a sweaty back room full of strangers.
1011 00:51:55 But...
1012 00:51:56 Wait. Have you seen Howie?
1013 00:51:58 Don't be crazy.Charlie is a lock. Howie is happy.
1014 00:52:02 Mission accomplished.
1015 00:52:04 You know who else said that?
1016 00:52:06 George W. Bush.
1017 00:52:09 What?
1018 00:52:11 Confirmed.The drugs have definitely kicked in.
1019 00:52:27 Fuck.
1020 00:52:29 I got this.
1021 00:52:46 Huh.
1022 00:52:51 What's he looking for?
1023 00:52:53 Shit!
1024 00:52:55 Oh, fuck. I'm so sorry. Fuck.Let me see, let me see.
1025 00:52:59 Oh.
1026 00:53:00 Shit. How bad is it? What should I do?
1027 00:53:03 In my professional opinion,
1028 00:53:04 we need to shovea bunch of napkins up there.
1029 00:53:08 Guys, if you wanna keep those jockswhite, I would move. Get out of the way.
1030 00:53:12 - Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?- I'm a little busy right now.
1031 00:53:15 - Okay. Just be careful.- What?
1032 00:53:17 Dex is not a good guy.
1033 00:53:19 - Why, because he has an OnlyFans?- What? No.
1034 00:53:21 He doesn't have great thingsto say about you either.
1035 00:53:23 Did I see you two naughty boyscome out of the dark room together?
1036 00:53:27 Perfect.
1037 00:53:28 It's so weird, Will,because he was just saying tonight
1038 00:53:30 how he wasn't into you at all and now...
1039 00:53:32 I didn't say that.I'm not, for the record, but...
1040 00:53:35 Do my eyes look crazy?
1041 00:53:37 My eyes look crazy.They're completely black.
1042 00:53:39 No. They're fine...Actually, they are kind of weird.
1043 00:53:42 What did you take?
1044 00:53:43 I'm guessing he found some K.
1045 00:53:45 Ketamine. Technically speaking,it's for horses.
1046 00:53:48 - My God, is that Charlie?- What?
1047 00:53:52 Who the fuck is that?
1048 00:53:54 And who is that? Is that me?
1049 00:53:57 I'm gorgeous.
1050 00:53:59 That's Charlie's ex, Rhys.
1051 00:54:01 We just flew him out this morning.
1052 00:54:03 Well, I guess not "ex" anymore.
1053 00:54:06 Yeah, Dex is the oneI gotta watch out for.
1054 00:54:09 I gotta find Howie.
1055 00:54:13 Come on.
1056 00:54:17 Um, you're gonna take thisinto the bathroom, fill it up,
1057 00:54:20 and drink until you feel normal. Okay?
1058 00:54:22 I am fine.
1059 00:54:25 And smart.
1060 00:54:27 And worth it.
1061 00:54:28 Yes, baby, yes, you are. Now go hydrate.
1062 00:54:38 Hey. I found you.
1063 00:54:39 Hey.
1064 00:54:41 Ah.
1065 00:54:42 I didn't even know I was lost.
1066 00:54:45 Wow.
1067 00:54:47 MDMA. Molly.
1068 00:54:49 Chemically impossibleto have a bad night on it.
1069 00:54:52 Even if you wanted to.
1070 00:54:53 So, did you ever find Charlie?
1071 00:54:56 - You saw him with that...- Oh, yeah.
1072 00:54:58 That fucking Zac Efron-looking guyhe's dry humping?
1073 00:55:01 No, good for him. I love Neighbors 2.
1074 00:55:04 It's the rare sequelthat surpasses the original.
1075 00:55:08 Are you okay?
1076 00:55:09 I mean, you saw the guy. It's game over.
1077 00:55:12 No. The night is young. You...
1078 00:55:14 - Yeah, I can fuck anybody I want.- Oh.
1079 00:55:19 - Let's get you off the ground, babe.- No, the ground is the new chair, baby!
1080 00:55:24 Oh, fuck Charlie.
1081 00:55:26 Next time, let's just stickto someone in my league.
1082 00:55:29 - No, that's not...- Girl.
1083 00:55:30 I just overheard some hot-ass people
1084 00:55:33 talking about after kiki on Bay Walk.
1085 00:55:36 And so many people going
1086 00:55:37 that they not gonna knowwe wasn't invited.
1087 00:55:41 Is he okay?
1088 00:55:42 And that's G.
1089 00:55:43 You do a little too muchand you end up looking like, well, that.
1090 00:55:47 Yeah, he fine. Can we go?
1091 00:55:49 Yeah, we definitelyneed to get out of here.
1092 00:55:51 You deal with thatand I'm gonna go find Max.
1093 00:55:53 Girl, what you doing?You gotta go to that party.
1094 00:55:56 Okay. Okay.
1095 00:56:00 It's gonna be wild.
1096 00:56:02 Max. Come on, Max, we gotta go.
1097 00:56:06 What's a... Oh.
1098 00:56:07 - Can I just shit in peace?- Shit.
1099 00:56:09 At a party.
1100 00:56:12 Hey.
1101 00:56:16 If you're looking for your friends,they just got on a water taxi.
1102 00:56:19 What? Those bitches.I'm the one without a phone.
1103 00:56:23 I think it was the last taxi outand they panicked.
1104 00:56:26 I told them I'd come find you.
1105 00:56:30 I know where they're going,
1106 00:56:31 we'd just have tocut through the Meat Rack.
1107 00:56:36 Perfect.
1108 00:56:41 You coming or what?
1109 00:56:46 Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck!
1110 00:56:49 For somebody who reads so much,you have a very narrow vocabulary.
1111 00:56:53 You're really boring, you know?
1112 00:56:54 Because I don't speak likea 13-year-old?
1113 00:56:56 No. Because you're rude,elitist, smug, hell a judgmental...
1114 00:56:59 You seem to havea lot of opinions about someone
1115 00:57:01 you've only known for three days.
1116 00:57:03 That's funny. You had a lot of opinionsabout me after what? Three hours?
1117 00:57:06 - What're You talking about?- God, how did you put it?
1118 00:57:09 "He's not hot enoughto be that annoying"?
1119 00:57:11 Did Charlie tell you I said that?
1120 00:57:13 That's what you're concerned about?
1121 00:57:14 - No, I'm sorry, I just...- No, Charlie didn't tell me.
1122 00:57:17 Are you happy?
1123 00:57:18 God, say what you will about me,
1124 00:57:20 but you barely even met Howiebefore you and your crew
1125 00:57:23 decided he wasn't good enoughfor Charlie.
1126 00:57:25 And then to pull this shit. Literallyairdropping in his ex from Manhattan.
1127 00:57:28 That's psychotic.
1128 00:57:29 I didn't have anything to do with Rhyscoming here. That was Cooper.
1129 00:57:32 I can't stand Rhys.For the record, I like your friend.
1130 00:57:35 Anything I did,I was doing to protect Charlie.
1131 00:57:37 Protect Charlie? From who? From Howie?
1132 00:57:41 Have you met him? I should've beenprotecting him from all of you people.
1133 00:57:45 "You people"? What do I have in commonwith any of them?
1134 00:57:48 I've never met somebodywho made it so clear, so immediately,
1135 00:57:51 that they think they're so superiorthan everybody else.
1136 00:57:53 First I thoughtit was because you were rich,
1137 00:57:55 but it's actually deeper than that.
1138 00:57:57 You think if you let everybody knowhow miserable you are being gay,
1139 00:58:00 it'll make you less of a faggot than us.
1140 00:58:02 I don't think I'm better than you.
1141 00:58:04 - You don't have to, everybody else does.- Who?
1142 00:58:06 The whole fucking world.Dude, look at us.
1143 00:58:09 Okay, you're this big,rich, successful lawyer
1144 00:58:11 who might as well be straight.And I'm not.
1145 00:58:14 You are spectacular.
1146 00:58:15 You think you've gotthe whole world figured out,
1147 00:58:18 but all you're doingis assuming the worst.
1148 00:58:20 Makes it easier for you.You expect everyone to reject you,
1149 00:58:23 so when somebodycomes along and actually does,
1150 00:58:25 it doesn't hurt so much.
1151 00:58:29 The reality is, Noah,
1152 00:58:32 no one's thinking that much about you.
1153 00:58:35 You know what, I don't give a shitwhat you think about me.
1154 00:58:39 - Fuck!- Oh, shit. You okay?
1155 00:58:41 I'm fine. I got this.
1156 00:58:48 What are you doing?
1157 00:58:50 You hate me.
1158 00:58:54 I... I have to go. I'm gonna go.
1159 00:58:56 And maybe you should just...
1160 00:58:58 You know what, do whatever you want.
1161 00:59:15 Hey.
1162 00:59:17 Oh, hey.
1163 00:59:23 - What happened to you?- Uh, have you seen Howie?
1164 00:59:26 I can't find Luke.I think he's falling out.
1165 00:59:29 Is that news?
1166 00:59:31 Well, we have to get him home.
1167 00:59:32 Okay, go find Howie.I'll take care of this.
1168 00:59:34 Thank you.
1169 01:00:03 Howie?
1170 01:00:07 Okay, thank you. Worth a shot.
1171 01:00:10 Hey, you will never guesswhat just happened to me.
1172 01:00:14 You fell in a bunch of mud?
1173 01:00:16 Uh, yeah. Do you wanna get out of here?
1174 01:00:18 Actually, he was justabout to leave with me.
1175 01:00:20 - Uh, no, he's not.- Jealous.
1176 01:00:24 You know, I've got a big bed,room enough for three.
1177 01:00:27 - Thanks. But we're gonna pass.- I'm not.
1178 01:00:30 What?
1179 01:00:33 Can you excuse us for a second?
1180 01:00:34 - I need to talk to you upstairs.- What are you doing? What?
1181 01:00:41 - What are you doing?- Exactly what you told me to do.
1182 01:00:44 Not with that guy, though.Anybody but that guy.
1183 01:00:47 - He's into me.- Yeah.
1184 01:00:48 And he has, like, five anime tattoos.You said no settling, that is settling.
1185 01:00:52 And you said this wassupposed to make me feel good.
1186 01:00:55 Well, guess what? I don't feel good.I feel really fucking bad right now.
1187 01:00:59 But fucking some rice queenwon't make you feel better.
1188 01:01:02 - There are plenty of other guys...- For you!
1189 01:01:04 For you, too!
1190 01:01:05 No, stop it. Stop talking about thislike we're the same!
1191 01:01:10 But we are.
1192 01:01:12 You and me. Fuck the rest.
1193 01:01:13 No, stop!
1194 01:01:14 You wanna feel so good so badlythat you did all this.
1195 01:01:19 And now you want me to feel good, too.Because you...
1196 01:01:22 I don't know, you feel guilty?I don't really give a shit.
1197 01:01:25 But stop pretending like youdon't understand how the world works.
1198 01:01:33 That's really unfair.
1199 01:01:35 Fuck you.
1200 01:02:28 Don't tell anybody,but I think I might've fucked up.
1201 01:02:43 - I cannot believe you left us there.- Wake up!
1202 01:02:45 - How are you still sleeping?- I was out of my mind! Okay?
1203 01:02:49 - You still rolling, girl.- One at a time.
1204 01:02:51 - Howie still isn't home.- Neither is Luke.
1205 01:02:53 Thanks for your help last night.'Cause now he's missing.
1206 01:02:56 I swear, if something happened to him...
1207 01:02:58 Like, we were making a podcast.
1208 01:03:00 And this came for you.
1209 01:03:02 What the fuck is this?
1210 01:03:03 Oh, that horrible friend of Charlie's...What's his name? Wu? Womb?
1211 01:03:08 Will? Is this a letter?What does it say?
1212 01:03:12 We don't know.Max wouldn't let us read it.
1213 01:03:17 Oh, okay. I'm gonna go read this inside.
1214 01:03:20 Wait! Can you at leasttell us what it says?
1215 01:03:23 Please? Come on, we are so bored, girl.
1216 01:03:31 "Hey. I knowthis isn't the ideal way to do this,
1217 01:03:34 "but you don't have a phoneat the moment,
1218 01:03:37 "and I thought it might be bestto do this sooner rather than later.
1219 01:03:42 "So, let me say, sincerely,
1220 01:03:45 "I'm sorry.
1221 01:03:50 "For what I said that first night.
1222 01:03:54 "For everything.
1223 01:03:58 "Beyond that, I did wanna clarifyone thing, about Dex.
1224 01:04:04 "He's not the personhe presents himself to be.
1225 01:04:09 "I promise,my dislike of him has nothing to do
1226 01:04:11 "with whatever he told you,
1227 01:04:13 "and everything to do withwhat he did to someone I'm close to.
1228 01:04:17 "Just know he is exceptionally goodat hiding who he really is.
1229 01:04:23 "I hope you can forgive me,
1230 01:04:25 "and that maybe eventuallywe could even be friends.
1231 01:04:29 "Sincerely, Will."
1232 01:04:35 What the fuck?
1233 01:04:37 We have a situation.
1234 01:04:39 What the fuck is he doing here?
1235 01:04:40 He showed upsaying he needed to talk to Howie.
1236 01:04:43 They're in the one placethat's impossible to eavesdrop on.
1237 01:04:46 - When did Howie get back?- A little while ago.
1238 01:04:49 Did something happen between you two?
1239 01:04:51 I don't know. I think he...I think he blames me for that.
1240 01:04:55 But I told him from the start,don't get sucked into one guy's orbit.
1241 01:04:58 Especially that guy.
1242 01:05:00 And I've been focused all week on himand his happiness and getting him laid.
1243 01:05:04 And I didn't thinkit would solve all his problems,
1244 01:05:06 but I thought I could make him feel hotand powerful for a week.
1245 01:05:09 Is sex what makes you feelhot and powerful?
1246 01:05:12 No. I'm hot and powerful,so I have a lot of sex.
1247 01:05:14 I just thought I couldreverse-engineer it a little bit.
1248 01:05:17 But... I think I can still fix this.I just...
1249 01:05:21 I don't know. It's complicated.
1250 01:05:24 "Complicated"? Please.Wanna know what I think...
1251 01:05:26 Babe, I love you,but this is me and Howie. It's serious.
1252 01:05:29 Oh. Fuck you. Listen.
1253 01:05:32 I know you all think I'm some old,ridiculous burnout,
1254 01:05:34 but I had a whole life before I met you,and it used to look a lot like yours.
1255 01:05:39 I had lovers, and friends,
1256 01:05:41 summers in Cherry Grovewith lesbians my own age.
1257 01:05:44 - And I thought I had it all figured out.- Babe, I know all your stories.
1258 01:05:47 Yes, the fun ones.Not the ones where I fucked it up.
1259 01:05:50 I tried to fix everyone,but what I was doing is, over time,
1260 01:05:54 slowly pushingeveryone I cared about out of my life.
1261 01:05:56 Until my only friendswere a group of boys half my age
1262 01:06:00 who only put up with mebecause I have a house on Fire Island.
1263 01:06:03 That's not true. We love you.
1264 01:06:04 That's sweet.But you're missing the point.
1265 01:06:07 Howie doesn't need anyone to fix him.
1266 01:06:10 Not you, not this island, not anything.
1267 01:06:14 He just needs a friend.
1268 01:06:16 He'll be just fine. You'll see.
1269 01:06:23 Oh, my God! My baby's drowning!
1270 01:06:30 So Charlie's ex has Lyme disease?
1271 01:06:34 - Seriously?- Please.
1272 01:06:36 It's like that thingYolanda Ha did has?
1273 01:06:39 Yeah, he just found out.And, now, Charlie, you know...
1274 01:06:46 Wants to be supportivebecause he says it's really serious.
1275 01:06:49 Oh, my God.That's clearly bullshit.
1276 01:06:51 You saw that guy last night. He...
1277 01:06:53 Yeah, Charlie probablymade it up because he feels bad.
1278 01:06:56 - No, that's not what I was gonna say.- What difference does it make?
1279 01:07:36 I don't think so.
1280 01:07:42 You just twist your blind a little bit.
1281 01:07:45 Leave the door ajar.
1282 01:07:49 And let the whole salad barhang out, honey.
1283 01:07:54 So we brought sandwiches to the room...
1284 01:07:56 - No microwave, honey.- Hey, weirdo.
1285 01:07:58 You dropped your ice cream back there.
1286 01:08:00 Oh.
1287 01:08:02 I wasn't sure you'd want to see me.
1288 01:08:04 So you ran away?
1289 01:08:06 Returning the favor.
1290 01:08:07 Very funny.
1291 01:08:09 I got your letter.
1292 01:08:12 I see. Uh...
1293 01:08:14 - So are we...- Good?
1294 01:08:17 We're good.
1295 01:08:18 I am, however, a little pissedat your friend right now. Lyme disease?
1296 01:08:22 You kidding me?Does he even like that guy?
1297 01:08:24 I don't know. Can we...Can we talk about something else?
1298 01:08:27 Sure. Let's talk about Dex.
1299 01:08:30 You send me this weird letterlike a Victorian ghost,
1300 01:08:33 filled with all these vague detailsabout the past.
1301 01:08:36 It's not really my story to tell.
1302 01:08:38 But look at this,and it'll give you a clearer picture
1303 01:08:41 of the kind of person he really is.
1304 01:08:43 He has an Instagram. What a villain.
1305 01:08:46 Okay. So he has some thotty pictures.
1306 01:08:48 But it doesn't make hima bad guy necessarily.
1307 01:08:52 - Oh.- Just be careful.
1308 01:08:55 You have to trust me.
1309 01:08:56 Like we're friends or something?
1310 01:08:59 Something like that.
1311 01:09:01 - I'm not an easy guy to be friends with.- Shocking.
1312 01:09:04 Oh, yeah, right. And you are?
1313 01:09:06 'Cause you know what?It's time for the dance-off!
1314 01:09:10 I have a lot of friends, actually.
1315 01:09:13 I'm a very fun-loving person.
1316 01:09:14 - Really?- Yep.
1317 01:09:16 Prove it.
1318 01:09:17 I need some new blood though, honey.You come every single week.
1319 01:09:20 - Good grief.- Over here!
1320 01:09:21 - No. I... That wasn't...- You said you were fun. Be fun.
1321 01:09:25 You, you.
1322 01:09:26 - Over here.- Honey, you had too many shots.
1323 01:09:28 Yeah, very eager.Hey. Hi, gorgeous, come on up.
1324 01:09:32 Hello!
1325 01:09:33 Stand in line over here.
1326 01:09:35 All right. So, what is your name?
1327 01:09:38 Will.
1328 01:09:39 Hi, Will. Everybody say hey!
1329 01:09:44 - Have you ever done a dance-off before?- No.
1330 01:09:50 Okay. Are you excited for the dance-off?
1331 01:09:53 Yep.
1332 01:09:54 "Yes, I'm excited."
1333 01:09:56 Okay.
1334 01:09:57 DJ Max is gonna put on some music.
1335 01:09:59 And you just, you know,shake your groove thing. Right?
1336 01:10:02 Y'all ready to see it? DJ, stick it in.
1337 01:10:06 Come on, everybody get sexy now.
1338 01:10:09 Feel the beat. Okay, Will.
1339 01:10:13 All right. Okay, get to the front.Let's see what you really got, honey.
1340 01:10:17 All right, Will. Let's go.
1341 01:10:19 Uh
1342 01:10:22 Uh, uh
1343 01:10:23 Get sexy. Ooh. Ooh.
1344 01:10:25 Get sexy.
1345 01:10:26 Yeah. Okay, somebody's been studying!
1346 01:10:30 Yes. That's right. Think Paula Abdul.
1347 01:10:34 Yes, okay. Not RoboCop, Paula Abdul.
1348 01:10:41 Oh, Will, babe. Okay, the '90s.Just straight up the '90s.
1349 01:10:45 Okay. Yes, okay. West Side Story.
1350 01:10:49 In the '90s. Okay!
1351 01:10:52 Oh, Will!
1352 01:10:56 Okay. Okay, oh, yeah, yeah.
1353 01:11:00 You got your eye on somebody. All right!
1354 01:12:18 - Girl, come on. Tell us.- Not now. Later.
1355 01:12:21 - But we wanna know now.- Stop!
1356 01:12:22 - You were gone forever yesterday.- Stop.
1357 01:12:24 - And no texts, nothing.- We thought you were dead.
1358 01:12:26 - Okay. Well, I'm here now. Okay?- Well, who was it?
1359 01:12:30 Who even says I was with someone?
1360 01:12:31 Guys, remember when he got lockedin that guy's bathroom for six hours?
1361 01:12:35 Maybe he got locked in twodifferent bathrooms. That's half a day.
1362 01:12:38 Okay. Well, for your information,actually, I was with a guy.
1363 01:12:41 - I knew it.- Sorry, Noah.
1364 01:12:43 Looks like I'm the hot one now.
1365 01:12:50 - He got locked in a bathroom again.- Without question.
1366 01:12:56 Okay, ma'am,how long are you gonna be mad at me?
1367 01:12:59 - Sir, I'm not mad at you.- This is the longest
1368 01:13:02 you've not talked to me sinceI said Call Me By Your Name was boring.
1369 01:13:05 I'm sorry it's not partof the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
1370 01:13:08 - Next, we've got Howie!- What? No, I didn't...
1371 01:13:11 - We did. You have to.- No, I can't...
1372 01:13:13 Come on. It's tradition.
1373 01:13:14 Hey!
1374 01:13:33 You tell me you're in love with me
1375 01:13:38 Like you can't takeyour pretty eyes away from me
1376 01:13:43 It's not that I don't wanna stay
1377 01:13:48 But every time you come too closeI move away
1378 01:13:52 - Ooh-I wanna believe
1379 01:13:54 In everything that you say
1380 01:13:58 'Cause it sounds so good
1381 01:14:01 But if you really want meMove slow
1382 01:14:06 There's things about meyou just have to know
1383 01:14:10 Sometimes I run
1384 01:14:12 Sometimes I hide
1385 01:14:15 Sometimes I'm scared of you
1386 01:14:17 But all I really wantis to hold you tight
1387 01:14:22 Treat you rightBe with you day and night
1388 01:14:27 Baby, all I need is time
1389 01:14:30 Just hang around and you'll see
1390 01:14:32 There's nowhere I'd rather be
1391 01:14:35 If you love me, trust in me
1392 01:14:39 The way that I trust in you
1393 01:14:44 We love you, girls!
1394 01:14:48 Shut up.
1395 01:14:53 I know all the words.
1396 01:14:54 Sometimes I run
1397 01:14:57 Sometimes I hide
1398 01:14:59 Sometimes I'm scared of you
1399 01:15:03 But all I really wantis to hold you tight
1400 01:15:08 Treat you rightBe with you day and night
1401 01:15:12 Baby, all I need is time
1402 01:15:16 Give it to me!
1403 01:15:23 Come on, girls!
1404 01:15:31 Girl, what's the matter?
1405 01:15:32 - More words, okay?- Luke!
1406 01:15:34 - What's going on?- My poor Luke!
1407 01:15:36 Poor me? What? Oh, my God.
1408 01:15:41 Is that me?
1409 01:15:42 What the fuck?
1410 01:15:46 Fuck, is that Dex?
1411 01:15:48 - Why are you in a video with Dex?- My friend Jonathan sent it to me.
1412 01:15:51 Some guy named TJ screen-recorded itand sent it to Greg,
1413 01:15:54 who recognized Luke,then sent it to Jonathan!
1414 01:15:57 Probably half the cater-waiterson the Lower East Side have seen it.
1415 01:16:00 There's not much to dobetween courses besides jerk off.
1416 01:16:02 This is bad, that's my whole face.
1417 01:16:04 Did he tell you he was gonna do that?If it was okay?
1418 01:16:07 What do you think?
1419 01:16:08 I don't know. I don't remember.
1420 01:16:10 I was so fucked upI barely remember having sex with him.
1421 01:16:13 This is not cool.
1422 01:16:14 But I remember I woke upin the morning and he was there.
1423 01:16:17 And we spentthe whole day mostly fucking,
1424 01:16:19 which I definitely consented to that.
1425 01:16:21 And I thought the whole thingwas kind of romantic until right now.
1426 01:16:24 - Give me that.- What are you gonna do?
1427 01:16:26 Please don't do anything insane.Just have him take it down.
1428 01:16:28 I don't want him mad at me,so don't be all Noah about it.
1429 01:16:31 I'm gonna kill him.
1430 01:16:33 Sure.
1431 01:16:34 - Luke, I'm so sor...- What the fuck! That is so fucked up!
1432 01:16:38 You'll be happy to know you were right.
1433 01:16:40 I'm gonna be honest.This feels like a trap.
1434 01:16:45 - Why am I looking at pornography?- Look closer.
1435 01:16:49 - I'm gonna kill him.- No, wait. I said that. That's my thing.
1436 01:16:56 - Hey, what's up?- Fucking little shit!
1437 01:17:02 - What the fuck?- Look familiar?
1438 01:17:06 Okay. I think there's beensome kind of misunderstanding, okay?
1439 01:17:08 You don't get to be dry.
1440 01:17:10 If you're pissed becauseI fucked your friend instead of you,
1441 01:17:13 - the least you could've...- Nice try.
1442 01:17:14 I'm pissed because you're a loser anda fraud who takes advantage of people.
1443 01:17:18 He was willing.More than I can say for you.
1444 01:17:20 He didn't knowyou'd put this online! That's...
1445 01:17:22 A crime.
1446 01:17:25 Without some sort ofwritten waiver of consent,
1447 01:17:27 this meets the criteria underNew York state law for revenge porn.
1448 01:17:32 Add in the illegal substances involvedand you're looking at jail time,
1449 01:17:36 a hefty fine,and registration as a sex offender.
1450 01:17:39 - Hold on. We do not have...- Speaking with the victim,
1451 01:17:42 I think we can resolvethis matter right now.
1452 01:17:46 How?
1453 01:17:47 Delete the video on your phoneand your website for starters.
1454 01:17:51 Now.
1455 01:17:54 I would make itmy personal mission
1456 01:17:56 to make surethese videos disappear forever.
1457 01:17:59 And you have to delete your Instagram.
1458 01:18:01 - What? No way!- I don't think we can make him do that.
1459 01:18:04 If a judge saw the Instagram,they'd be on my side.
1460 01:18:07 Fuck, just check his phone.
1461 01:18:14 Awesome. We're done here.
1462 01:18:19 - Those are waterproof now, you know.- Don't ruin this for me.
1463 01:18:23 Shut the fuck up!You made that up?
1464 01:18:25 Some of it. Some of it wasa little bit of an exaggeration.
1465 01:18:30 Holy shit! You Legally Blonde'd him.
1466 01:18:32 - Oh, my God.- Sorry, I don't know what that is.
1467 01:18:35 You don't know what...
1468 01:18:37 Oh, my God! We were having such a nicemoment, and you had to ruin it.
1469 01:18:42 Is that what you do in L. A.?Big trial lawyer like the...
1470 01:18:45 No, I work for a nonprofit.
1471 01:18:48 Mostly tenants' rights stuff,wrongful evictions.
1472 01:18:51 Nothing sexy.
1473 01:18:54 Yeah. Sure.
1474 01:18:56 I'm just happythat I could help, you know?
1475 01:18:59 Dex, he...
1476 01:19:02 He's never really been concernedabout enthusiastic consent.
1477 01:19:06 Just... I couldn't do much last time.
1478 01:19:09 My friend, he was embarrassed, I think,
1479 01:19:11 and didn't want us to talk about it,so we didn't.
1480 01:19:13 And Dex got to keep his image.
1481 01:19:15 Yeah, well,people will talk about it now.
1482 01:19:18 I've got a real big mouth.
1483 01:19:20 I don't know how things work in L. A.,but in New York,
1484 01:19:23 we've ostracized people for way less.
1485 01:19:25 That's something, at least.
1486 01:19:30 Hey, um...
1487 01:19:32 Seriously, thank you. I owe you one.
1488 01:19:40 Time on Fire Island...
1489 01:19:46 Sometimes it feelslike it stretches on forever.
1490 01:19:56 Hey!
1491 01:19:58 So, what happened?
1492 01:20:00 I'll be up in a minute.
1493 01:20:02 Come on.
1494 01:20:06 Sure you don't wanna come up?
1495 01:20:08 Yeah, no,I'm not very good at parties. So...
1496 01:20:11 - What? You're not good at parties?- Uh...
1497 01:20:14 - Not Will! No.- All right.
1498 01:20:17 - Not good at parties? What?- Calm down.
1499 01:20:31 So I pushed him in the pool,
1500 01:20:33 and he looked up at meand said, "I love you."
1501 01:20:35 And I said,"You don't know what love is."
1502 01:20:37 And then I realized, "You're ugly."
1503 01:20:39 Can't believeyou're letting him tell your story.
1504 01:20:41 Yeah, I think this is justhis way of processing things.
1505 01:20:46 Where did Will go?
1506 01:20:48 Why would I know that?
1507 01:20:49 You don't have to do this.You don't have to worry about me.
1508 01:20:52 You can fuck whoever you want.
1509 01:20:54 Okay, that is definitelynot what I am looking for.
1510 01:20:57 And by the way,I'm not done worrying about you.
1511 01:21:00 If I hadn't pushed you,literally pushed you, then...
1512 01:21:02 I told you,I'm fine with the Charlie of it all.
1513 01:21:05 - And honestly...- Are you talking about me?
1514 01:21:08 No. We're talkingabout our other friend Charlie.
1515 01:21:11 He died in a fire.
1516 01:21:13 It's really sad.
1517 01:21:15 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
1518 01:21:17 Ignore him. Did you have fun?
1519 01:21:19 I did. Yes.We don't usually go to karaoke.
1520 01:21:22 Just the parties. So, I was gladthat you showed it to me before Rhys...
1521 01:21:27 Choo-choo, where's my vodka soda?Baby's thirsty.
1522 01:21:31 Uh...
1523 01:21:32 Sorry, you guys don't know each other.Rhys, this is Howie and Noah.
1524 01:21:37 Oh, my God, cute. Boyfriend twins!It's like looking in a mirror.
1525 01:21:40 Sweetie, they're not boyfriends.
1526 01:21:42 Come on, let's go in and dance.
1527 01:21:44 I'm horny, okay?
1528 01:21:46 I'll see you guys later?
1529 01:21:48 - Later, hons.- Bye.
1530 01:21:50 Yeah, I'm gonna go to the bathroomand scrub my eyeballs out.
1531 01:21:53 Yeah, probably a good plan. Hey.
1532 01:22:01 You know what?Actually, let's do it later.
1533 01:22:03 No. We're doing it now.
1534 01:22:07 - Hey.- Hey.
1535 01:22:08 Hey. Um...
1536 01:22:11 How are you doing?
1537 01:22:13 Look, you did not have to do thatfor me before.
1538 01:22:16 Especially for me,
1539 01:22:17 'cause I'm such a bitchto you all the time.
1540 01:22:19 I know we're friends,but things are obviously different...
1541 01:22:22 It's not even that we're friends, Luke.We're more than that.
1542 01:22:25 We're family, right?Like, that means something to me.
1543 01:22:29 Because you two and...
1544 01:22:31 All you guys, you're, like, all I have.
1545 01:22:38 Whatever. Are we gonna hugand wrap this up? How does this end?
1546 01:22:42 Why don't we get fucked up and dance?
1547 01:22:44 Come on. You're gonna be okay.
1548 01:22:46 Oh, I am?
1549 01:22:48 - Are we gonna hug?- No.
1550 01:23:00 What are you doing?
1551 01:23:04 Don't be mad.
1552 01:23:06 Howard.
1553 01:23:07 I can't do it.I can't stay and see him...
1554 01:23:12 Or see them together like that.
1555 01:23:14 Oh, my God. You cannot endyour vacation because of one guy.
1556 01:23:17 It's not just about Charlie.It's a lifetime of Charlies.
1557 01:23:23 I'm 30 and I've never had a boyfriend.I've never been in a relationship.
1558 01:23:26 - I've never...- We've been through this.
1559 01:23:28 Monogamy was created by straight peopleto make us less interesting.
1560 01:23:31 Yeah, I've heard your TED talk.Listen. Please.
1561 01:23:38 Okay.
1562 01:23:45 You're the only person I know
1563 01:23:48 who understandshow shitty it can be sometimes
1564 01:23:52 to feel unwanted like this.
1565 01:23:57 And I'm so gladthat you've found a way to feel good
1566 01:24:00 despite all the fucked-up shitwe deal with.
1567 01:24:03 But you think that if you're vulnerablefor just one second,
1568 01:24:08 that it's all gonna come crashing down.
1569 01:24:10 And maybe that's true for you,but it's not true for me.
1570 01:24:16 I want to be vulnerable.
1571 01:24:19 Even if it hurts.
1572 01:24:23 Your rules, they don't work for me.
1573 01:24:27 And honestly, I don't knowthat they're working for you either.
1574 01:24:33 So let me be sad about this,
1575 01:24:36 and deal with itand figure it out my own way.
1576 01:24:46 Yeah, but my way you get to cum a bunch.
1577 01:24:49 Oh, my God, I'm gonna masturbateso much when I get home.
1578 01:24:53 What the fuck...
1579 01:24:56 When are you leaving?
1580 01:24:57 Five o'clock ferry.
1581 01:24:59 Oh, my God, you couldn't even stayfor one last sunset?
1582 01:25:02 This is the last timewe're gonna be in our home together.
1583 01:25:05 Our friendship isn't justlimited to this island.
1584 01:25:08 You know,you've never come to visit me in S. F.
1585 01:25:11 I'm not flying Spirit for you, bitch.
1586 01:25:18 - Does Charlie know?- No.
1587 01:25:19 Probably give meanother pity conversation.
1588 01:25:22 And at this point, it wouldmake me feel even more pathetic.
1589 01:25:25 Or he could,
1590 01:25:28 you know, do one of thosepre-9/11 rom-com moves,
1591 01:25:30 you know, where somebodyrushes through an airport
1592 01:25:33 and stops you from getting on the plane.
1593 01:25:35 And then, you kiss and it's awesome.
1594 01:25:38 I thought you didn't wantthe rom-com bullshit for me.
1595 01:25:42 Babe, all I want is for you to be happy.
1596 01:25:46 Always.
1597 01:25:50 Promise me you won't tell Charlie.
1598 01:25:54 I promise.
1599 01:25:56 Charlie!
1600 01:25:57 I mean, you had tosee that coming, right?
1601 01:25:59 - Can we help you?- Help me? Yeah.
1602 01:26:00 You could get a newfucking line, Braden. Jesus.
1603 01:26:03 Wait, he's leaving? Why?
1604 01:26:05 Do you need a hint?
1605 01:26:06 Okay. Fair. Um, look, the timing of thisis just really shitty.
1606 01:26:10 - Fuck the timing. Go and stop him.- It's not that simple.
1607 01:26:12 I've known Rhyssince before I came out, and I owe him.
1608 01:26:15 Listen, I get it. I get your wholenice guy schtick, all right?
1609 01:26:19 But you have the chanceat something real with Howie.
1610 01:26:22 Something great. I don't really get it.
1611 01:26:24 But what the fuck do I know?I've been wrong before.
1612 01:26:27 I've been wrong a lot.
1613 01:26:29 This week, especially,about people and situations and...
1614 01:26:36 Stuff, okay?Maybe I was even wrong about you.
1615 01:26:39 Maybe you're not the idiotthat I thought you were.
1616 01:26:42 Prove me wrong. Go and do something,
1617 01:26:43 because if you fuck this up,it's game over.
1618 01:26:46 - You won't get another shot.- What are you doing?
1619 01:26:48 - Howie's leaving.- Jesus. Are we still on this?
1620 01:26:51 Nobody wants to fuck your friend.
1621 01:26:53 Wait. You think Charlielikes that little Asian guy?
1622 01:26:56 - Rhys.- I mean, come on. He's joking, right?
1623 01:26:58 - You're the Amy Schumer one?- Enough.
1624 01:27:00 - But...- I said, enough.
1625 01:27:02 - What is wrong with you?- Yeah, I think I get the gist.
1626 01:27:06 - Noah, I'm sorry.- You know what's funny?
1627 01:27:08 I am the only person this week
1628 01:27:10 who stopped to considerwhether you deserved him.
1629 01:27:14 You were right about this place.
1630 01:27:20 I'm sorry. What is happening?
1631 01:27:30 It's just not right.
1632 01:27:32 - You'll barely notice I'm gone.- Not true.
1633 01:27:35 Where's Noah?
1634 01:27:37 Probably taking one of Max'slittle walks in the Meat Rack.
1635 01:27:40 For your information,I'm looking at constellations.
1636 01:27:42 Oh, sweetie, give it a rest.
1637 01:27:44 We all know you're gettingyour ass ate in the dunes.
1638 01:27:47 Sorry. Sorry.
1639 01:27:50 You know me. Always late for the ferry.
1640 01:27:52 Are you sure this is how you wanna go?
1641 01:27:56 Yeah. I am.
1642 01:28:01 Promise I'll come visit you.
1643 01:28:06 Okay.
1644 01:28:33 Why does this feel like...Like the last summer here, like, ever?
1645 01:28:37 'Cause it is, stupid.
1646 01:28:39 Couldn't last forever.
1647 01:28:41 Some things have to change.
1648 01:28:44 Feels likeall the wrong stuff is changing.
1649 01:29:13 So, what's our plan?
1650 01:29:15 To sort of stand here sadlyin the direct sun all day, or...
1651 01:29:18 You couldn't even give us a minute.
1652 01:29:20 I know Howie. He would not want usto sit here and mope on the dock.
1653 01:29:23 He would want usto do bumps of K by the pool.
1654 01:29:25 - So let's go.- Fuck!
1655 01:29:27 Did he get on? Did I miss him?
1656 01:29:29 - What the fuck are you doing here? Hi.- Hey.
1657 01:29:32 - I thought I could stop him.- You fucked that one up, buddy.
1658 01:29:34 - He's halfway to the mainland by now.- So what should I do? Should I call him?
1659 01:29:38 If you wanted to fix this,you'd have to do something really big,
1660 01:29:42 something colossally stupid.
1661 01:29:44 Okay.
1662 01:29:46 I'm not sure I know what that means.
1663 01:29:48 I have an idea. Follow me.
1664 01:29:50 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1665 01:29:51 What are you doing?
1666 01:29:53 Something big. Something stupid.
1667 01:30:00 I don't thinkI wanna be implicated in this.
1668 01:30:03 Ah. Come on.
1669 01:30:24 Howie!
1670 01:30:25 Howie! Howie! Howie!
1671 01:30:42 Don't look over there. Look over here.
1672 01:30:44 - What am I gonna say when I get there?- You'll figure it out.
1673 01:30:50 Whatever you do, stay on the dock.
1674 01:30:53 I have a 6:15 train.
1675 01:30:55 I have a feelingyou'll wanna hear this.
1676 01:30:57 Okay, but why all the flags?
1677 01:31:00 Did you steal a water taxi?
1678 01:31:02 We did. Yeah.There's a really angry lesbian on there.
1679 01:31:05 Uh, look, I need to say that I'm sorry.
1680 01:31:08 I'm really, really sorry for everything.
1681 01:31:11 It's fine, Charlie. I'm fine.
1682 01:31:12 No, it's not. Everything with Rhys, I...
1683 01:31:15 I wasn't thinking.
1684 01:31:16 I thought that I had to...
1685 01:31:18 It doesn't matter what I thought.I was wrong.
1686 01:31:21 Okay, Charlie,this is your big rom-com moment.
1687 01:31:23 You gotta do something big.Something stupid.
1688 01:31:26 I love you.
1689 01:31:27 - Oh!- No. Too big. Too stupid. Dial it back.
1690 01:31:30 Yeah, it's a little weird.
1691 01:31:32 - We're not really there yet.- Yeah. Okay. All I'm trying to say is...
1692 01:31:37 I don't know why this is so hard.
1693 01:31:39 I gotta catch my shuttleor I'll miss my train.
1694 01:31:41 No, wait. Okay, look...
1695 01:31:46 I just need you to know
1696 01:31:48 how fucking incredibleI think that you are.
1697 01:31:53 You are the most interesting manI have ever met,
1698 01:31:56 and the funniest, and you're beautiful.
1699 01:32:02 And I really, really like you.
1700 01:32:07 I just wanted you to know thatbefore you left.
1701 01:32:10 And Noah said a bunch of stuff...
1702 01:32:12 Oh, Jesus, please don't ever,ever listen to Noah.
1703 01:32:17 Now you tell me.
1704 01:32:22 You actually stole a boat for me?
1705 01:32:25 I actually stole a boat for you.
1706 01:32:45 Okay, can we go to Cherry Grove now?
1707 01:32:48 We will get there when we get there.
1708 01:33:20 This whole timewe were so worried about the house,
1709 01:33:24 but it's never been about the house.
1710 01:33:29 It's always been about the people.
1711 01:33:32 We'll be fine.
1712 01:33:34 We'll make new memories.
1713 01:33:38 But when I look back on the years
1714 01:33:39 I got to spend with my familyon Fire Island...
1715 01:33:45 This is what I'll remember.
1716 01:34:12 Today was a lot.
1717 01:34:16 Yeah.
1718 01:34:18 All that drama for what?Somebody you met five days ago.
1719 01:34:21 Yeah, 'cause, I mean, what happens now?
1720 01:34:24 Howie goes back to S. F.,the Pines bubble bursts.
1721 01:34:27 Then six months from now,they'll probably just be...
1722 01:34:30 In love.
1723 01:34:32 Maybe even happy.
1724 01:34:37 Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right.
1725 01:34:41 You know, I think that's whatHowie always wanted out of these trips.
1726 01:34:45 Come out here,meet some vacation boyfriend.
1727 01:34:48 Lug him back to the real world.
1728 01:34:54 What about you?
1729 01:34:57 What do you want?
1730 01:35:01 You know, it's so weird, I...
1731 01:35:04 My whole life, I felt likeI've had everything figured out,
1732 01:35:07 everybody,
1733 01:35:08 and then I come out here and I justkeep getting thrown, you know?
1734 01:35:12 It's like, God, have I been wrongabout everything this week?
1735 01:35:17 It feels longer, doesn't it?It's like time works...
1736 01:35:21 It just works differently here.
1737 01:35:24 Does that sound crazy?
1738 01:35:28 Little bit.
1739 01:35:32 What about you? What do you want?
1740 01:35:34 You probably wantsome gay marriage nightmare.
1741 01:35:37 Joint Instagram accounts,a French bulldog.
1742 01:35:39 God, no! It's...
1743 01:35:41 I don't think monogamy is for me.
1744 01:35:46 Yeah. I mean, same.
1745 01:35:49 And I don't really like dogs.
1746 01:35:54 Okay. So, what do you want?
1747 01:36:02 I want that.
1748 01:36:10 All right. You asked me what I wanted.
1749 01:36:13 - Dance with me.- What?
1750 01:36:15 You've already run awayfrom me once this week.
1751 01:36:17 I don't know if my pride could handle itif it happened again.
1752 01:36:20 - Will.- Noah.
1753 01:36:23 Listen, I just, um...I really like my freedom.
1754 01:36:25 That's like a big thing with me.
1755 01:36:27 And I just, I'm doingreally, really, really well on my own
1756 01:36:30 and the wholefalling-in-love-with-romance thing
1757 01:36:32 is really stupid. And,of course, we'd have great sex.
1758 01:36:35 I mean, look at us. But the...I'm not right for you.
1759 01:36:38 And you're definitelynot right for me and it...
1760 01:36:41 Hey, it's just a dance.
1761 01:36:43 Yeah, but then what?
1762 01:36:45 Guess we'll find out.
1763 01:36:50 Okay.
1764 01:37:45 'Cause when I'm bad, I'm so, so bad...
1765 01:37:52 Excuse me.I need a moment with my sister.
1766 01:37:56 Of course.
1767 01:38:16 Do it!
1768 01:44:14 - Guys. Look alive. It's happening.- Oh!
1769 01:44:16 - Okay.- All right.
1770 01:44:18 Ten! Nine! Eight!
1771 01:44:21 Seven! Six! Five!
1772 01:44:25 Five!
1773 01:44:26 Four!
1774 01:44:29 Three!
1775 01:44:32 Two!
1776 01:44:35 One!
1777 01:44:37 One-point-five.
1778 01:44:38 - One-point-five.- One-point-five.
1779 01:44:41 One.
1780 01:44:44 Point nine, point eight,
1781 01:44:48 point seven, point six, point five,point four, point three...
1782 01:44:55 Oh, my God. Flawless countdown.
1783 01:44:59 - She does the job every day.- You're welcome, everyone.