巴布与斯塔尔的维斯塔德尔玛之旅 Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar(2021)(EN)Subtitles

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1 00:02:52 Good morning, Yoyo.
2 00:02:53 Morning, Gene. Has it started?
3 00:02:55 They're waiting for you, sir. You better get changed.
4 00:02:57 Okey-dokey.
5 00:03:48 Would anyone like a drink before we get started?
6 00:03:53 No, thank you.
7 00:03:54 Well, I'm going to make myself..
8 00:03:58 a "suicide."
9 00:04:09 Just a little bit of root beer, traditional cola,
10 00:04:13 just a touch of lemon-lime spritz,
11 00:04:15 orange up, and my secret ingredient...
12 00:04:20 just a dash of lemon-infused iced tea.
13 00:04:24 I like the extra bite.
14 00:04:32 It's perfect.
15 00:04:36 Is it ready?
16 00:04:37 Finally, yes.
17 00:04:39 After years of work, I have developed
18 00:04:41 genetically modified mosquitos
19 00:04:43 and a way to control them.
20 00:04:49 This remote here, activates that receiver under the cow,
21 00:04:53 releasing a signal attracting the mosquitos.
22 00:04:55 These are not just itchy mosquito bites.
23 00:04:58 One sting will kill a large animal within minutes.
24 00:05:02 So, hypothetically speaking,
25 00:05:05 if the receiver was placed, say,
26 00:05:07 in the middle of a small town,
27 00:05:11 the mosquitoes would then fly towards it
28 00:05:13 stinging and killing everyone in the town?
29 00:05:18 - Hypothetically. - Well,
30 00:05:20 given that we have thousands of mosquitos,
31 00:05:23 we could kill thousands of people
32 00:05:25 but we don't wanna do that, right?
33 00:05:28 We're using these to kill animals with rabies, right?
34 00:05:32 In South Africa?
35 00:05:34 There was a problem with rabid herds of animals? You said?
36 00:05:39 Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
37 00:05:41 You cannot get away with this! My house is full of evidence!
38 00:05:45 Yoyo.
39 00:05:51 Goodbye, Dr. Bradley.
40 00:06:09 Now, no one can stop me.
41 00:06:12 No one.
42 00:06:22 Whenever I watch those movies
43 00:06:24 - where they're in the 1800s... - Oh.
44 00:06:25 I can't stop thinking,
45 00:06:27 did everybody just... Gosh, I don't wanna be rude...
46 00:06:30 - Stink? - Yes.
47 00:06:31 Yes, I know. I think about it all the time.
48 00:06:33 - They didn't have deodorant! - No.
49 00:06:34 They didn't have toilets, didn't brush their teeth!
50 00:06:36 - Everyone had yellow teeth. - Yeah.
51 00:06:37 Yellow teeth was just the regular color.
52 00:06:38 - It was the norm. - The regular color.
53 00:06:40 Yes, everyone had it.
54 00:06:48 I had a dream
55 00:06:49 that I made love with that man on the Pringles can.
56 00:06:51 - What flavor of Pringles was it? - Plain. I like everything plain.
57 00:06:54 - Plain Pringles are the best. - Just plain.
58 00:06:55 - Yeah. - You know who I always
59 00:06:57 - had a crush on? Mr. Peanut. - Who? Oh, my gosh.
60 00:06:59 - Something about him. - But he's so smart.
61 00:07:01 - He had that little monocle. - And a top hat.
62 00:07:02 - Love a man with a top hat. - Me too.
63 00:07:08 God, it's so funny to think all the raccoons in the world
64 00:07:11 - are sleeping right now. - What?
65 00:07:12 Listen, I don't really know more than what I've already said.
66 00:07:14 And some of what I said I'm not even sure I actually know.
67 00:07:17 - Excuse me. - Hi.
68 00:07:19 - Do you work here? - Yes. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
69 00:07:22 Great! 'Cause we're interested in this couch you're sitting on.
70 00:07:25 - Hmm, good. Okay. - Um...
71 00:07:30 - Okay... - Here's the thing.
72 00:07:32 Um, okay.
73 00:07:34 This couch is the floor model. And it's the only one left.
74 00:07:38 - I'm so sorry. - So, I'm sorry.
75 00:07:39 - It's soiled up pretty badly. - Is there a discount
76 00:07:41 - since it's the floor model? - Oh.
77 00:07:43 I'm sorry would you excuse us just for one minute?
78 00:07:46 Just a quick second.
79 00:07:50 - Star. - Barb, what are we gonna do?
80 00:07:52 - This is our couch. - We've told each other
81 00:07:53 so many things on this couch. Remember when you told me
82 00:07:56 you were afraid you were addicted to caramel?
83 00:07:58 - Right here on this couch. - Caramel squares.
84 00:07:59 God, I'm glad that's over. And it was on this couch
85 00:08:02 you told me my husband was having an affair
86 00:08:03 - with Dina Rankusio. - That was so hard for me.
87 00:08:05 You're a good friend for telling me. Some wouldn't.
88 00:08:08 Well, I couldn't keep that in. I would never lie to you.
89 00:08:10 - I would never lie to you. - Star.
90 00:08:12 Excuse me, uh, ladies?
91 00:08:15 Listen, the reason why we're acting a little funny
92 00:08:17 about this couch is because well, we love it.
93 00:08:20 It's the truth.
94 00:08:23 We sit on it every day.
95 00:08:24 It's, um, it's our talking couch, you know?
96 00:08:27 So, um, you're telling us not to buy the couch
97 00:08:31 because you wanna sit on it? At work?
98 00:08:35 - That's it. You get it. Yes. - Yes. She gets it. Exactly.
99 00:08:37 - That's exactly it. - Thank you.
100 00:08:38 Thank you for helping us. That was very helpful.
101 00:08:41 Thank you so much.
102 00:08:43 - That's so nice of you. - Oh, my gosh.
103 00:08:45 - Okay. Look, that was close. - That was the couch.
104 00:08:47 - We should do something. - We have to rip a hole...
105 00:08:49 - Why don't we fart on it? - Oh, yes. Let's fart.
106 00:08:51 Let's fart right now.
107 00:08:53 Hi.
108 00:08:55 I called you both
109 00:08:56 in here today because...
110 00:08:59 Wait, Star are you even supposed to be working today?
111 00:09:02 Oh, I always come in when Barb works.
112 00:09:04 She does the same. Don't worry, you're not paying us double.
113 00:09:07 Wait. I thought you were working today.
114 00:09:08 No! I thought you were the one working.
115 00:09:09 Gosh, that's so funny.
116 00:09:12 - It's not the first time... - That this happened.
117 00:09:14 Sometimes one of us is on the schedule,
118 00:09:15 - we both come in. - We just come in.
119 00:09:16 Alright. Look. This is very difficult for me to do.
120 00:09:19 But I need to tell you that we're closing the store.
121 00:09:23 - What? - Oh, I think he means
122 00:09:25 for renovations. Oh my gosh.
123 00:09:26 - Are we getting a juke box? - Please tell me
124 00:09:28 we're getting that jukebox.
125 00:09:29 No, please stop asking me about that.
126 00:09:32 The store is closing for good.
127 00:09:34 Apparently, Jennifer Convertibles
128 00:09:36 as a national chain
129 00:09:37 closed about seven months ago and nobody bothered to tell us.
130 00:09:43 - So, what does that mean? - What does that mean?
131 00:09:44 I'm sorry, I know you love it here.
132 00:09:47 But the good news is that the company
133 00:09:48 - is giving you severance. - No. Severance?
134 00:09:50 - We don't wanna be severanced. - No! Please!
135 00:09:52 This job is our lives. It's our purpose.
136 00:09:54 Where are we gonna host Thanksgiving?
137 00:09:56 Well, you can...
138 00:09:58 Wait, you come in here when the store is closed
139 00:10:01 and host your Thanksgiving dinners?
140 00:10:08 No.
141 00:10:10 God I'm really upset.
142 00:10:12 I can't believe we're not gonna work here anymore.
143 00:10:14 I'm grieving. I think... I think I'm really grieving.
144 00:10:16 Me too, but you know what?
145 00:10:18 We'll find another job. This small town's full of places
146 00:10:20 looking to hire women in their 40s.
147 00:10:22 Yeah. That's the attitude!
148 00:10:25 - We'll find something better. - Yeah.
149 00:10:27 I mean, we both have high school degrees.
150 00:10:30 - Well, you do. - Well, I don't.
151 00:10:32 - I thought you did. - Well, I don't.
152 00:10:36 - Well, what can we do? - Ladies!
153 00:10:38 Hi!
154 00:10:40 Mickey.
155 00:10:46 - You look amazing. - You look great.
156 00:10:48 - Wow. - Miguel and I just got back
157 00:10:50 from vacation.
158 00:10:52 My dermatologist is not gonna be happy with me.
159 00:10:54 I soaked up some mega rays.
160 00:10:57 Gosh, you can see it. You look glowing.
161 00:11:00 You look really dark.
162 00:11:01 Girls, I might just pack up and moved there.
163 00:11:03 - What? Where? - Where did you go?
164 00:11:05 It's this tiny little oasis on the coast of Florida.
165 00:11:08 It's people like us. Mid-lifers
166 00:11:10 who still like to strut past the pool and stop the party
167 00:11:13 dead in its tracks with a tube top and full jewelry.
168 00:11:16 - Oh. Yeah. - I'm not kidding.
169 00:11:18 I feel like I got a soul-douche.
170 00:11:20 A soul-douche? Well...
171 00:11:22 And not that I was looking,
172 00:11:24 but there are so many gorgeous men there.
173 00:11:26 We're talking Tommy Bahama
174 00:11:28 from head to toe.
175 00:11:29 Tommy Bahama.
176 00:11:31 Put that with a 24-hour CVS
177 00:11:33 and you got yourself a party.
178 00:11:35 I mean best week of my life. You girls have got to go.
179 00:11:39 - Well, not the best... - Oh, yeah, no.
180 00:11:41 - We're not... - Time right now.
181 00:11:42 We're not in a place
182 00:11:43 - to really go anywhere. - We can't really leave.
183 00:11:45 I'll drop off a brochure later.
184 00:11:46 - Oh, wow. Thank you. - Oh, yeah.
185 00:11:49 - That won't be necessary. - I mean, yeah.
186 00:11:50 It'd be nice to see what it looks like.
187 00:11:52 What's the name of the place again?
188 00:11:53 Vista Del Mar!
189 00:11:57 - View of the swordfish. - View of the mar.
190 00:12:02 Before we begin I just wanna thank
191 00:12:05 Barb and Star for hosting tonight's talking club
192 00:12:08 and for making their famous,
193 00:12:11 usual hot dog soup. Again.
194 00:12:14 - You're welcome. - It's a simple recipe.
195 00:12:16 - Simple. - Oh, Gail's not here,
196 00:12:18 but it's 6:00 on the dot. So, it's time to lock the door.
197 00:12:24 I'm here.
198 00:12:26 You're late Gail, buh-bye.
199 00:12:30 Well, Talking Club is officially in session.
200 00:12:34 I was really hoping to talk this week about horses.
201 00:12:37 Specifically my horse,
202 00:12:39 and the spectacular time we had...
203 00:12:41 You know the rules, Delores.
204 00:12:43 We only share about the topic
205 00:12:45 that we pick out of the talking jar.
206 00:12:48 Give me your soup.
207 00:13:00 Today's topic is...
208 00:13:03 jobs.
209 00:13:05 I wanted to talk about my job at the Christmas store.
210 00:13:10 I know everyone thinks it's not busy right now,
211 00:13:13 but we are... all year round.
212 00:13:17 - I believe you. - Thank you.
213 00:13:20 Well, I love my job at the pharmacy.
214 00:13:22 I get to play with the pills,
215 00:13:24 and sometimes I shake them along to the music.
216 00:13:28 Star, we can't tell the ladies what happened today.
217 00:13:30 What? You mean lie? We can't.
218 00:13:32 Oh, we just lost our job at the hottest place in town.
219 00:13:35 - What will they think of us? - Oh,
220 00:13:36 and I love my uniform.
221 00:13:38 It's all white,
222 00:13:39 so I get to set myself apart with character socks.
223 00:13:43 Those look fun.
224 00:13:45 These have coffee cups and coffee beans on them.
225 00:13:48 - I wish you dress me. - I don't have time.
226 00:13:50 Barb and Star? What about you guys?
227 00:13:53 I mean, you guys work at the hottest place in town!
228 00:13:55 Maybe socks would be a good topic.
229 00:13:57 Oh, yes. I love the socks without ankle.
230 00:13:59 Barb, Star, the topic is jobs.
231 00:14:04 Tell us about your jobs.
232 00:14:06 - Oh. Well... - Oh.
233 00:14:09 - Uh... Today was... - Uh, it was busy.
234 00:14:13 - It was busy. - Yeah.
235 00:14:14 So, we had a lot of... Big delivery.
236 00:14:17 - One big delivery. - With furniture.
237 00:14:19 - And sofa. - Tables.
238 00:14:21 There was a guy.
239 00:14:22 - He was delivering, - He was tall.
240 00:14:24 - The other was shorter. - Not as tall.
241 00:14:27 - We filled out paperwork. - Inventory.
242 00:14:29 Did everything.
243 00:14:30 - Then we had to load it all in. - To look at the samples.
244 00:14:33 - ...brought the samples. - ...clipboard.
245 00:14:35 - Made some tea. - We signed up.
246 00:14:37 And then we got a promotion.
247 00:14:40 - Oh! - What?
248 00:14:41 - Wow! - Congrats.
249 00:14:43 Congratulations you guys!
250 00:14:45 - Go home, Gail. - We're so proud of you.
251 00:14:47 We should do a toast.
252 00:14:52 What? That's how I cheers with my horse.
253 00:15:00 Barb and I lost our jobs.
254 00:15:04 Sorry. The store closed.
255 00:15:06 And the story we just told you about the delivery,
256 00:15:09 the men coming, the trucks, the nightstands,
257 00:15:11 the fabric samples, the couches,
258 00:15:12 the tall guy and the shorter guy that wasn't as tall?
259 00:15:15 That was a lie!
260 00:15:17 Oh, damn.
261 00:15:18 We all know there are only three major rules in Talking Club.
262 00:15:24 Rule number one, no sneakers.
263 00:15:26 Rule number two, no swearing except for the "F" word.
264 00:15:30 Rule number three, no lying.
265 00:15:34 You two are banned from the club.
266 00:15:36 - What? - What?
267 00:15:37 Ladies, grab your purses, and pocket books.
268 00:15:39 - No, Debbie, please. - Isn't there like
269 00:15:42 a three-strike rule or something?
270 00:15:44 Please, we won't do it again. This is all we have left.
271 00:15:46 - Can we have one more chance? - One more chance.
272 00:15:48 - Please. - It was just one lie.
273 00:15:49 - Give us a chance. - We don't know what to say.
274 00:15:58 Barb, are you upset with me? I'm sorry I blurted it out.
275 00:16:02 Star, no. I can never be upset with you.
276 00:16:05 It's okay, we lied. We deserved it.
277 00:16:12 Do you know they make denim culottes?
278 00:16:14 They're for our weather.
279 00:16:16 Do you think Jennifer Convertibles closing
280 00:16:18 was a sign?
281 00:16:19 And getting kicked out of Talking Club?
282 00:16:22 A sign?
283 00:16:24 Okay. You know those days when you see me
284 00:16:27 - just staring at the carpet? - Yes.
285 00:16:29 Sometimes I daydream.
286 00:16:31 About life outside of this place.
287 00:16:34 Maybe something is telling us to do something different.
288 00:16:37 - Oh, my gosh. Yes. - Yes? Oh!
289 00:16:40 Should we try those socks with individual toes?
290 00:16:42 - Yeah. - What do they feel like?
291 00:16:44 I've always wondered.
292 00:16:45 I wonder how my toes will react. They've always been together.
293 00:16:48 I think they'll like it.
294 00:16:49 - What if it's something bigger? - Like what?
295 00:16:52 Like this.
296 00:16:54 - A trip? - Yes.
297 00:16:56 - Star... - No, look,
298 00:16:57 look at these two people. Look how happy they are.
299 00:17:00 Imagine that's you and me riding on that banana boat.
300 00:17:02 Just bouncing around
301 00:17:04 with our arms and legs spread wide open
302 00:17:06 with water and air going all inside of us.
303 00:17:09 This is dangerous.
304 00:17:10 Things happen to people on trips.
305 00:17:12 What if we get lost, or poisoned,
306 00:17:13 or we get a rash? What if they put us in jail
307 00:17:15 'cause they think we put drugs in our butts?
308 00:17:17 What if we fall out of a car?
309 00:17:18 Have you heard of traveler's diarrhea, Star?
310 00:17:21 Your stomach doesn't care where you are, it just releases.
311 00:17:25 Haven't you ever wondered if the real ocean
312 00:17:27 sounds like our noise machine?
313 00:17:29 The real ocean has strong currents.
314 00:17:31 And people get swept out, and they sink and they drown.
315 00:17:36 Okay.
316 00:17:38 I know things changed for you after Ron died.
317 00:17:40 They certainly did for me after Carmine Left.
318 00:17:42 But we used to have fun.
319 00:17:45 Remember that one time we went on a haunted hay ride?
320 00:17:47 And we got chased by that man
321 00:17:49 with a Jack-o'-lantern head and a chainsaw.
322 00:17:51 And then we heard later
323 00:17:52 he wasn't an actor, he just escaped from the local prison.
324 00:17:55 - He was a real killer. - Killer.
325 00:17:57 - He was trying to kill us. - Oh.
326 00:17:58 Remember the 4th of July when we roller skated through town
327 00:18:01 in our sequined leotards?
328 00:18:03 And my sparkler caught your hair on fire?
329 00:18:04 And then my hair caught your hair on fire.
330 00:18:06 We caught each other's hair on fire.
331 00:18:10 Oh.
332 00:18:13 Barb, I feel like... we lost our... shimmer.
333 00:18:21 Isn't that just what happens when you get older?
334 00:18:23 No. I mean, it doesn't have to.
335 00:18:25 We still have a chance to be those people again.
336 00:18:28 I mean, look all of our stories.
337 00:18:30 They're... they're from the past.
338 00:18:32 We don't have any stories from now.
339 00:18:36 I feel like we're fading away.
340 00:18:40 I don't wanna fade away.
341 00:18:42 Hey, look, I know you're afraid something is gonna go wrong,
342 00:18:44 but what if it doesn't?
343 00:18:46 What if we go there and have a time of our lives?
344 00:18:49 We lay on the beach and we feel the sun
345 00:18:51 and we have breakfast and have muffins
346 00:18:52 and croissants with all kinds of jelly...
347 00:18:54 - Let's do it. - What?
348 00:18:56 I can't believe I'm saying this. Let's throw caution to the wind
349 00:18:59 like a couple of rock and rollers!
350 00:19:01 - Really? - Yes.
351 00:19:03 - Barb. - Star.
352 00:19:06 Let's go to Vista Del Mar.
353 00:19:11 I'm gonna bring those culottes I bought at Kaboom.
354 00:19:13 - Culottes? - My fringe shorts.
355 00:19:14 - Tangerine pants. - Oh, my curlers.
356 00:19:16 I don't want anything to happen to my curlers.
357 00:19:19 - Anyway... - Cheese pizza.
358 00:19:21 Gosh, let me just get mushroom. Well.
359 00:19:23 Traveler's checks. Leftover from my wedding.
360 00:19:25 For the shower. Safety first.
361 00:19:27 Always good to bring a little piece of art
362 00:19:30 - from home. - We're gonna buy a lot
363 00:19:32 - of Florida cookies. - Some rope.
364 00:19:33 This is gonna be for the cheese pizza.
365 00:19:34 My curlers.
366 00:19:36 This is a toilet scrubber and a back scrubber.
367 00:19:39 Maybe it's time to put the curlers in.
368 00:19:41 - Vista Del Mar... - Here we come.
369 00:19:52 What's on your mind?
370 00:19:53 I'm just nervous something is going to go wrong.
371 00:19:55 I even tried to distract myself today
372 00:19:57 by training some of the mice from the lab.
373 00:19:59 Everything is going to be fine. I promise.
374 00:20:02 I want you to get there early.
375 00:20:04 Get the lay of the land.
376 00:20:05 Here's the microchip.
377 00:20:07 The receiver cannot be activated without it.
378 00:20:10 Be very careful with it. It's fragile.
379 00:20:13 There's a compartment for it in your belt.
380 00:20:15 Yoyo designed it.
381 00:20:17 God, I love that little boy...
382 00:20:19 And most importantly...
383 00:20:22 the antidote.
384 00:20:23 You might get stung.
385 00:20:24 This will make you immune to the poison.
386 00:20:26 - I won't let you down, my love. - No, you won't.
387 00:20:33 I've been working on this plan my entire life.
388 00:20:37 And now, it's finally time.
389 00:20:41 I can't wait for all of this to be over.
390 00:20:43 After what those people did to you,
391 00:20:45 and for you to be happy,
392 00:20:47 and for us to be an official couple.
393 00:20:54 Um...
394 00:21:00 Mm-hmm. Yes.
395 00:21:02 You do wanna be together, right?
396 00:21:05 - Be an official couple? - Mm-hmm.
397 00:21:10 Yes, of course I do.
398 00:21:11 I'm just, um,
399 00:21:12 it's hard for me relax. You know, until this is over.
400 00:21:15 - You understand. - Yeah.
401 00:21:18 So...
402 00:21:20 don't screw it up.
403 00:21:26 Strings, you're still off.
404 00:21:30 The rest can have cheese.
405 00:21:37 Woo! Well, I was not prepared for that take off.
406 00:21:41 Me neither.
407 00:21:42 Ma'am, I apologize for screaming at the top of my lungs.
408 00:21:44 Mm.
409 00:21:46 - What? A free magazine! - What?
410 00:21:49 I have got to read this interview with Don Cheadle.
411 00:21:52 Oh, I love him. You know that reminds me,
412 00:21:54 the other day I said to myself...
413 00:21:56 I cannot think of a famous actress named Trish.
414 00:21:59 You're kidding. That's my favorite name.
415 00:22:01 What? Mine too! How did we never talk about this?
416 00:22:04 To me, a woman named Trish is a woman you can count on.
417 00:22:08 Really has her act together. Athletic, natural.
418 00:22:11 Just real natural. And loves the holidays.
419 00:22:14 Trish? At Christmas? Forget it.
420 00:22:16 She gets everybody a gift.
421 00:22:18 - What about Halloween? - Oh.
422 00:22:19 Trish leaves a big pot of candy for the kids.
423 00:22:22 - Yeah. - Because she trusts.
424 00:22:24 She'd be out
425 00:22:25 - with her girlfriends. - Country-dancing.
426 00:22:27 She has a natural sense of rhythm.
427 00:22:28 She'd have one ear double-pierced.
428 00:22:30 - And the other... - Just single.
429 00:22:32 Once when I was applying for a job at Talbots,
430 00:22:34 - I told them my name was Trish. - What?
431 00:22:37 Well, remember when I was in that hit and run
432 00:22:39 - and that lady passed? - Uh-huh.
433 00:22:40 - Her name was Trish. Yeah. - Really?
434 00:22:42 Trish loses one of her ears in a twister,
435 00:22:44 - but not her hearing. - She's a storm chaser.
436 00:22:46 Her mom doesn't want her to be.
437 00:22:48 - Their relationship is tough. - Hmm.
438 00:22:49 Trish always wanted to be a portrait photographer.
439 00:22:52 She loves people. She would always say,
440 00:22:54 "A person's face says a lot about how they look."
441 00:22:56 - Oh, that's beautiful. - Yeah.
442 00:22:58 Okay.
443 00:22:59 - Trish's favorite number? - Four.
444 00:23:01 - Her favorite animal? - Hen!
445 00:23:02 - Trish's favorite movie? - Oh.
446 00:23:04 - Short Circuit. - The Ring.
447 00:23:07 And then she said, "You know what, skin cancer?
448 00:23:11 "You are not gonna take me.
449 00:23:14 "Because I'm gonna take my own life."
450 00:23:16 And she did.
451 00:23:18 She jumped off that cliff near her house on the Cape.
452 00:23:22 Dove right into the water,
453 00:23:24 hitting every rock on the way.
454 00:23:27 And now there's a beautiful spirit out there in the ocean.
455 00:23:32 And you know what her name is?
456 00:23:38 It's Trish.
457 00:23:40 Trish.
458 00:24:05 I'm here.
459 00:24:11 Oh, the air feels different here.
460 00:24:12 Oh, my God, you're right.
461 00:24:15 Smells like Red Lobster.
462 00:24:17 Look, it's the shuttle for our hotel!
463 00:24:20 Oh, my God.
464 00:24:47 - Oh, my Star. - Oh, my Barb.
465 00:24:52 Let me take your bags, ma'am.
466 00:24:53 Check in's over there.
467 00:24:55 Hope you had a nice flight.
468 00:26:30 Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop.
469 00:26:34 Did you say Palm Vista Motel?
470 00:26:37 Uh, yeah.
471 00:26:39 No, Jerry! No. You're late again.
472 00:26:41 And the song is over.
473 00:26:44 Ma'ams, I am so sorry,
474 00:26:45 but this is the Palm Vista Hotel Spa and Salon.
475 00:26:49 You are clearly staying at the Palm Vista Motel
476 00:26:52 which is right outside the doors
477 00:26:54 two football fields away across the hot parking lot.
478 00:26:57 So, have a good day.
479 00:26:58 Can we stay here?
480 00:27:00 You have any rooms? We really like it here.
481 00:27:01 Ladies, you can flirt with me all you want,
482 00:27:03 but it's not gonna change my mind.
483 00:27:05 There is absolutely no vacancies.
484 00:27:07 We are completely booked up
485 00:27:09 because of this weekend's Seafood Jam.
486 00:27:12 Have a great day.
487 00:27:14 Oh, brother.
488 00:27:28 We'll, this looks nice too.
489 00:27:31 Oh, look at that. Painting.
490 00:27:35 Oh, hi. Hi.
491 00:27:38 - Hi. - Hi.
492 00:27:39 We have a reservation under Barb and Star.
493 00:27:42 Okay, six nights?
494 00:27:44 - Yup. - Yup. Mm-hmm.
495 00:27:45 Yeah. Do you want towels?
496 00:27:47 - Yes, uh, yeah, uh-huh. - Yeah I think so.
497 00:27:50 Do you need sheets?
498 00:27:53 - Probably. - Yeah, for the bed.
499 00:27:57 No pillows though, okay?
500 00:28:05 - Okay. - Okay.
501 00:28:08 Gosh.
502 00:28:12 This is peaceful.
503 00:28:14 I like how the stains everywhere look like designs.
504 00:28:17 Oh, yeah.
505 00:28:18 I am warm though.
506 00:28:19 - Me too. - Yeah.
507 00:28:21 - I'm really warm. - Yeah.
508 00:28:22 I have an idea. What if we go check out the pool
509 00:28:25 - over at the nice hotel? - Star.
510 00:28:27 - Is that even legal? - I honestly don't know.
511 00:28:31 Come.
512 00:28:34 - Oh. Woo. - Whoa, gosh.
513 00:28:36 - Better get some water. - My eyes...
514 00:28:37 I don't see anything.
515 00:29:10 Mickey was right. Everyone here is so friendly!
516 00:29:13 I know. Star?
517 00:29:15 - What? - That guy is waving at you.
518 00:29:16 I think he likes you. You should take a lover
519 00:29:19 - on this trip. - Barb,
520 00:29:20 men are not attracted to me, okay? The guy's just being nice.
521 00:29:23 And Carmine was proof of that when he left me for Dina!
522 00:29:25 That is not true.
523 00:29:26 Men find me disgusting, and I'm okay with it.
524 00:29:29 Star, if I said it once, I said it a million times,
525 00:29:31 you could model for effin' Chico's,
526 00:29:32 - and I'm not just saying that. - Chico's?
527 00:29:34 - Come on. I wish. - Or Costco.
528 00:29:37 I'm talking the Kirkland brand.
529 00:29:39 Kirkland? Oh, my God.
530 00:29:41 Oh, my God.
531 00:29:43 I think I'm gonna try the frog's legs.
532 00:29:46 What? Oh, gosh, I couldn't.
533 00:29:47 Every time I think of frog legs
534 00:29:49 I think of Kermit riding his bicycle
535 00:29:50 and how much he used his legs. He really needed them.
536 00:29:52 He did. Oh, I feel bad now.
537 00:29:54 Okay. I'm gonna do the veal-stuffed manatee.
538 00:29:57 Ooh. I'm gonna try
539 00:30:00 the fried bald eagle babies.
540 00:30:02 - Oh, yum. - Excuse me, ladies?
541 00:30:04 Hi.
542 00:30:06 Can I see you out of the pool, please?
543 00:30:09 We're so sorry.
544 00:30:10 - Please. You're right. - I knew this was gonna happen.
545 00:30:11 - She said we'd go to jail. - The other motel, it was so hot.
546 00:30:15 Stop!
547 00:30:16 Ladies listen.
548 00:30:17 There's been a cancellation and we have a room available.
549 00:30:21 - What? Here? - What?
550 00:30:22 It's not really a cancellation.
551 00:30:25 The family that was in the room is missing.
552 00:30:26 Oh!
553 00:30:27 It's probably the husband.
554 00:30:29 It's always the husband. He reported them missing,
555 00:30:31 the next thing you know, they're stuffed up in a chimney.
556 00:30:34 Anyway, the room is yours, if you'd like it.
557 00:30:41 Yes. Yes, yes.
558 00:30:43 Ooh, your voices are really high.
559 00:30:59 Oh, my God.
560 00:31:00 - Look at this room! - Woo.
561 00:31:03 Star, did you see that restaurant?
562 00:31:05 - Oh, yeah. - I'm so excited
563 00:31:06 it's almost time for dinner!
564 00:31:07 And time for a cocktail?
565 00:31:09 - Star! - Okay. You go in the bathroom,
566 00:31:11 I'll lay out our bottoms and tops!
567 00:31:12 You know what should wear tonight?
568 00:31:14 Our evening culottes!
569 00:31:18 Everything's going according to plan, my love.
570 00:31:21 I'm also missing you.
571 00:31:22 There are lots of people here, lots of official couples.
572 00:31:26 Do you miss me?
573 00:31:28 Oh, well, you're usually here. And now you're not.
574 00:31:33 And I know you're gone.
575 00:31:34 And when you return, you'll be back.
576 00:31:38 Is that what you mean?
577 00:31:40 - Never-mind. - Oh, Edgar,
578 00:31:42 I feel like I'm sensing some 'tude.
579 00:31:43 - No, no. - I really must run.
580 00:31:45 Yoyo and I have been playing hide and seek
581 00:31:47 and I haven't seen him since last night.
582 00:31:57 Good evening, ladies and gentleman,
583 00:31:59 I'm Richard Cheese.
584 00:32:32 Thank you.
585 00:32:33 Oh, my, these are comfortable.
586 00:32:34 Put another whiskey, please?
587 00:32:37 - Room number again, please, sir? - Six-eleven.
588 00:32:40 Oh, 611? Oh, my... Barb.
589 00:32:44 Oh, my gosh! He's 611.
590 00:32:46 Six-eleven? We're in 124!
591 00:32:51 - We're in room 124. - And you're...
592 00:32:54 Wow.
593 00:32:56 I'm Barb and this is Star, and you are...
594 00:33:01 Edgar.
595 00:33:02 - Oh. Edgar. - Nice.
596 00:33:07 I'm sorry, I'm having a bad day.
597 00:33:10 Oh, no. Are you not going?
598 00:33:13 That's what's happening with us.
599 00:33:14 Traveling really stops you up.
600 00:33:16 I mean, my stomach it's like
601 00:33:18 just a bunch of rolled up sacks in there.
602 00:33:21 All in line trying to get out, it's like a traffic jam.
603 00:33:23 No, uh, work stuff.
604 00:33:26 Oh, my gosh. We have work stuff too!
605 00:33:29 - We just lost our dream jobs. - Yeah.
606 00:33:31 It's been really hard.
607 00:33:33 Star, why don't you cheer him up with one of your greeting card
608 00:33:36 - poems? - Oh, Barb. Don't listen to her.
609 00:33:38 - No. I'm so rusty, no. - Come on.
610 00:33:40 - Stop it. - Come on.
611 00:33:41 - Barb? - Sorry, what is this?
612 00:33:43 Star has a gift, you should share it.
613 00:33:45 Oh, it's nothing, it's just a silly hobby I have.
614 00:33:46 I like to make my own greeting cards, specifically
615 00:33:48 for the middle aged, you know, because we go through stuff.
616 00:33:51 - Don't be shy, come on. - Barb, please.
617 00:33:53 Do it, just do it. Help this man.
618 00:33:55 Okay. Okay. Just do one. Gosh.
619 00:33:59 - You're gonna love this. - Okay,
620 00:34:01 - I'm gonna make it up. - She's gonna make it up.
621 00:34:03 - Okay. - Nothing planned.
622 00:34:05 She's thinking. She's preparing.
623 00:34:07 We can't force it.
624 00:34:09 Sometimes life's umbrella has holes in it,
625 00:34:15 and the water just pours all over your shoulders
626 00:34:19 - and your hair. - All right.
627 00:34:22 But don't worry, because the rain will end.
628 00:34:26 But you should also get a replacement umbrella
629 00:34:29 for the next time.
630 00:34:32 Gosh. Was that okay? I was so nervous!
631 00:34:35 I don't know how she does it. Words just...
632 00:34:37 fall out of her, like, air comes out of a...
633 00:34:41 - See, I can't do it. - Anyway,
634 00:34:43 I hope it helped a little.
635 00:34:44 Yeah, it did actually, yeah. Thank you.
636 00:34:47 See?
637 00:34:49 - See? - All right.
638 00:34:52 Thank you so much. I'm gonna take a short break.
639 00:34:54 I'll be right back, thank you.
640 00:34:57 Okay. I'm back. Thank you.
641 00:35:01 - My turn to pick the drink. - Okay.
642 00:35:03 Okay. Ooh, George, what's this drink
643 00:35:05 with the skull and crossbones over it?
644 00:35:07 Can we get one of those?
645 00:35:13 It's called The Buried Treasure.
646 00:35:15 - Yo-ho-ho. - No one's ever finished
647 00:35:17 the whole thing.
648 00:35:19 But if you get to the bottom,
649 00:35:21 there's a real treasure.
650 00:35:24 You sure you guys wanna do this?
651 00:35:26 - Yeah. - Yes.
652 00:35:28 - Okay. - I love treasures.
653 00:35:29 - Yes. - Yeah.
654 00:35:40 You finished that already?
655 00:35:41 - Mm-hmm. Yeah. - Yeah.
656 00:35:42 Just for the record, we never found the treasure.
657 00:35:44 You found the chest at the bottom
658 00:35:46 - with the syrupy liquid? - Yeah.
659 00:35:48 - We licked it up. - All the syrup.
660 00:35:49 - Let's go. - You open up
661 00:35:50 the scuba diver's mask and found the three pills?
662 00:35:52 - Uh-hmm. - I took a pill.
663 00:35:53 - I had one. - I had a pill.
664 00:35:54 - Oh, well, that's you... - treasure.
665 00:36:41 I like looking at wicker, but I don't like sitting at it.
666 00:36:46 Hmm.
667 00:36:54 Hello, it's me. Of course, you didn't answer.
668 00:36:57 I'm getting sick of these...
669 00:37:00 mixed messages, so I've met two young...
670 00:37:05 two middle-aged lady friends.
671 00:37:08 If you don't start giving me this respect thing soon...
672 00:37:11 And the mission is off.
673 00:37:54 - Did we all... - Yes.
674 00:37:56 A lot of times.
675 00:37:58 I just got your message, my darling.
676 00:38:00 Let's not talk such nonsense about completing the mission.
677 00:38:03 You know it's hard for me to show it,
678 00:38:05 but I love you deeply.
679 00:38:08 I know I rode you guys like a couple of horses.
680 00:38:10 - Oh. That's why... - There up and down the hallway.
681 00:38:12 - ...my back's a little sore. - Yeah.
682 00:38:14 - That's why my back... - It might be sore
683 00:38:15 from all you did against the table.
684 00:38:17 - It was two against one there. - Well, that's true.
685 00:38:19 Miss you. Kiss with tongues.
686 00:38:21 We really used the room today and our bodies.
687 00:38:23 Bye, guys. Thanks very much for the, um, great time.
688 00:38:27 - Oh, Edgar. Goodbye. - Hey, come on.
689 00:38:28 - Come on. - Goodbye to you.
690 00:38:30 - Have a great day. - Bye.
691 00:38:32 - Bye. - Goodbye.
692 00:38:33 Oh, great.
693 00:38:35 - Oh. - Well, okay.
694 00:38:38 Oh, gosh I have to admit I do feel kind of funny.
695 00:38:41 Was it because I spanked your bottom?
696 00:38:43 I think it's because he's the first man
697 00:38:44 I've been with, you know, since Carmine left.
698 00:38:46 - Oh, I know how you feel. - Yeah.
699 00:38:49 I haven't been with anyone since Ron.
700 00:38:51 - You know that. - Yeah.
701 00:38:53 - Oh. - Edgar was nice though.
702 00:38:55 - I mean... - Oh, my gosh.
703 00:38:56 What a nice man.
704 00:38:58 Was such a nice man.
705 00:39:08 - My God! The shop... - The shopping here.
706 00:39:11 I love that magnet I got that says "Flip Flop Zone"
707 00:39:14 in wacky letters? I wanna look at it.
708 00:39:15 That ones in the bag that says Pookie McNally's Trinket Hut.
709 00:39:17 - It's the yellow one. - Oh, yes.
710 00:39:19 That's where I got my new phone case.
711 00:39:20 - I love it. - It's like I'm listening
712 00:39:23 - to the ocean. - I love it.
713 00:39:24 - We don't have cell phones. - Oh, no, I'm gonna take it home
714 00:39:26 - and glue it to our land line. - That's clever.
715 00:39:28 - I can't believe we found this. - That's going on our car.
716 00:39:31 Do you know what my favorite thing is?
717 00:39:33 - Friendship bracelets? - Yes.
718 00:39:35 I can't believe these were only three dollars.
719 00:39:36 It's a keepsake, it's a keepsake for life.
720 00:39:40 - It's a little sharp though. - They are sharp.
721 00:39:41 - They're a little sharp. - Getting my skin a little bit.
722 00:39:43 We'll break it in. It'll wear down over time.
723 00:39:45 - Yeah. - Star.
724 00:39:47 A glass bottom boat?
725 00:39:49 - Let's see what time it leaves. - Let's go fast.
726 00:39:51 - We gotta hurry. Oh, God! - Okay.
727 00:39:53 - Sea shells! - What? Gosh.
728 00:39:54 It's a freakin' clam with googly eyes.
729 00:40:08 Ready to party?
730 00:40:26 You imbecile!
731 00:40:27 I can fix this, I can.
732 00:40:29 - Fiddlesticks. - Please, just let me try.
733 00:40:31 I won't mess up again. Please don't worry.
734 00:40:32 Oh, I won't.
735 00:40:34 I know if I need to count on someone,
736 00:40:36 there's another man I could call.
737 00:40:39 What? What man?
738 00:40:41 Let's just say when it comes to spies,
739 00:40:43 I know he won't let me down.
740 00:40:45 Now, you listen to me and you listen good.
741 00:40:47 You work for me, do you get that?
742 00:40:50 You are my employee and nothing more
743 00:40:52 until this gets done. Now, if you'll excuse me
744 00:40:55 I have a long distance phone call to make.
745 00:40:57 No, wait, wait. No!
746 00:40:58 Wait, wait! No! Hello?
747 00:43:34 Phew! Well, I gotta be honest,
748 00:43:37 I don't think I can do another night like last night.
749 00:43:39 Oh.
750 00:43:41 Me neither. My gosh.
751 00:43:43 Although, you know, Edgar was so nice.
752 00:43:45 Who?
753 00:43:46 Oh, um... Oh, was it Edgar? What was his... that man's name?
754 00:43:50 - Oh, I don't know. - Hmm.
755 00:43:52 - Oh, right. Edgar. - Yeah.
756 00:43:54 From last night.
757 00:43:55 Oh, I wasn't thinking about him anymore.
758 00:43:57 I forgot him.
759 00:43:59 Me too. Yeah, I should forget all about him.
760 00:44:03 I think I just wanna stay in tonight.
761 00:44:04 Sit on the patio and practice my calligraphy.
762 00:44:07 Maybe write a poem.
763 00:44:08 And just have a couple of wheat thins,
764 00:44:10 - and just cool it. - Oh, that's a nice idea.
765 00:44:12 And I'm gonna take a bath.
766 00:44:14 - Oh. I won't disturb you. - And I will not disturb you.
767 00:44:17 - Okay. - I'm gonna get my stuff.
768 00:44:19 Oh, here's my pen.
769 00:44:36 Okay, I'm in the tub now.
770 00:44:41 Dearest Edgar, I hope you remember me.
771 00:44:44 I'm the disgusting woman from last night.
772 00:44:46 Oh, gosh.
773 00:44:47 Barb says I shouldn't describe myself that way.
774 00:44:50 You should know that I've been hurt in the past.
775 00:44:53 I'm a broken woman.
776 00:44:56 I haven't written my feelings down in so long,
777 00:44:58 but, gosh, you lit a fire in me
778 00:45:00 and I am raging with passion right now.
779 00:45:04 Okay? Where do I begin? Um...
780 00:45:07 I was born in a hospital...
781 00:45:16 Ah. I get it.
782 00:45:22 - Hello? - Edgar Paget?
783 00:45:24 - Uh, who is this? - Never mind you.
784 00:45:28 - Uh, what? - For the purpose
785 00:45:29 of our relationship, I shall remain anonymous.
786 00:45:32 I'm an associate of you know who.
787 00:45:34 Oh. Um... hello.
788 00:45:37 I understand you lost the microchip.
789 00:45:40 You are in a bit of a conundrum.
790 00:45:42 Fortunately, I'm the man with the means to replace it.
791 00:45:45 Don't ask me what they are. That's private.
792 00:45:48 - Okay. - You'll hear from me.
793 00:45:50 Wait for my call from this private number
794 00:45:52 I'm calling you from right now privately.
795 00:45:55 Actually, you know what, you came...
796 00:45:57 you came up on my... on my phone.
797 00:45:59 - I'm sorry. What? - Your number actually
798 00:46:01 came up on my phone.
799 00:46:03 Damn it! Well, don't look at it again.
800 00:46:06 - I won't? - Don't call it.
801 00:46:08 I'm very private.
802 00:46:09 - And don't give to anyone. - Who will I give it to?
803 00:46:12 Listen, um, when the number comes up,
804 00:46:14 does it happen to say the name Darlie Bunkle?
805 00:46:17 Uh, no. Is that your name?
806 00:46:19 Damn it!
807 00:46:22 What was that noise?
808 00:46:23 Don't tell him it's me on the phone. Darlie Bunkle.
809 00:46:26 - Capital D-A- - Oh, listen, I have to go.
810 00:46:28 No, I have to go.
811 00:46:35 Shit.
812 00:46:42 Hey.
813 00:46:45 Hi.
814 00:46:48 I've been thinking about you ever since this morning.
815 00:46:57 - Shall I come in? - Uh... no, no, no.
816 00:47:00 - Wait. Sorry. Um... - Oh
817 00:47:01 I got like work stuff everywhere. It's a real mess.
818 00:47:03 That's okay. I only have a few minutes anyways.
819 00:47:05 - Star thinks I'm in the tub. - No, no. Wait, wait.
820 00:47:07 Um, not here. Not here. Let's not do it here.
821 00:47:09 Let's, um... Let's go for a walk
822 00:47:11 - Edgar. - What?
823 00:47:13 - Okay. - Okay.
824 00:47:16 There's probably a lot you wanna know about me.
825 00:47:18 My husband's name was Ron Quicksilver.
826 00:47:21 He was a rodeo star.
827 00:47:23 He was so manly, there were rumors he was chemically off.
828 00:47:26 He was the love of my life.
829 00:47:29 All I'm grateful for is he died a quick death.
830 00:47:32 He was trampled.
831 00:47:34 - Oh, no. By a bull? - No.
832 00:47:37 It was a bunch of shoppers at the Stereo Hut on Black Friday.
833 00:47:39 They had 50-inch flat screens for $199.
834 00:47:42 I did get one.
835 00:47:46 I realized your worst fears can come true.
836 00:47:50 And I think maybe when Ron died, I stopped living too. I mean,
837 00:47:54 I didn't really stop living.
838 00:47:55 I'm not dead. I'm not a ghost.
839 00:47:57 But after that wild night with you,
840 00:47:59 something shifted in me, you know?
841 00:48:01 Something's changing. I...
842 00:48:03 I wanna look at life for the first time again
843 00:48:05 like a baby.
844 00:48:06 Gosh, I wanna be a baby again. I was so flexible then.
845 00:48:11 Star went as a baby for Halloween once.
846 00:48:12 She wore a diaper. Only a diaper.
847 00:48:15 She won best costume.
848 00:48:18 Oh, my gosh. Star, she thinks I'm in the tub.
849 00:48:22 I lied to her and I've never done that before.
850 00:48:25 God, I'm a terrible friend. I wasted all that water.
851 00:48:31 Edgar, I'm sorry. This can't happen.
852 00:48:37 We weren't mean to be.
853 00:48:39 You've set me free, and that's all this was.
854 00:48:42 Thank you, Edgar. Thank you!
855 00:48:46 You're welcome?
856 00:48:47 Everything is possible!
857 00:48:54 Oh, look at her. She's asleep.
858 00:48:59 Star!
859 00:49:02 Star!
860 00:49:05 Okay. You're probably exhausted from writing.
861 00:49:09 Anyway, sweet dreams. Good night, Star.
862 00:49:15 I'm just so grateful for you!
863 00:49:17 Gosh darn it, you're a good friend.
864 00:49:18 That's all. Good night, Star!
865 00:49:30 Hi.
866 00:49:32 Hi.
867 00:49:39 I started writing you a letter, but then,
868 00:49:41 my gosh, I was thinking about you so much,
869 00:49:43 my brain just got all squirrelly.
870 00:49:45 I just... wanted to come over and...
871 00:49:48 talked to you inside where your sheets are.
872 00:49:55 His name is Carmine Testaviglio.
873 00:49:56 I should've known he was having an affair with Dina.
874 00:49:59 I didn't stand a chance.
875 00:50:01 Carmine had a foot fetish, and Dina has huge toes.
876 00:50:05 My toes stopped growing after I was three months old.
877 00:50:07 They're like little pieces of rice. I'm not kidding.
878 00:50:10 - Oh, God, don't look. - I wasn't.
879 00:50:16 Now, when someone leaves you, you just think,
880 00:50:19 "So there must be something wrong with me."
881 00:50:21 So I just figured I'm disgusting.
882 00:50:23 But that night with you was the first time since Carmine
883 00:50:25 I felt non-disgusting.
884 00:50:28 I mean, you saw my folds and holes
885 00:50:30 and you didn't run away.
886 00:50:33 Now, I'm just starting to realize that maybe
887 00:50:34 having meaningless flings is the way to go.
888 00:50:37 No one gets hurt. No strings attached.
889 00:50:40 It's just you shouldn't have to try to make someone love you.
890 00:50:43 That's all. I don't know.
891 00:50:47 I know what you mean.
892 00:50:50 You do?
893 00:50:54 Plus, you put all your faith in someone and, poof,
894 00:50:57 they turn out to be someone else.
895 00:50:59 I once heard this story about a woman
896 00:51:01 who married a doctor, turns out
897 00:51:03 he was Bruce Springsteen.
898 00:51:05 I guess he just wanted to be a regular person
899 00:51:07 for a little while or something.
900 00:51:09 I remember one year for Halloween,
901 00:51:11 Barb went as Bruce Springsteen.
902 00:51:14 Oh, my God. Barb.
903 00:51:17 What am I doing? She thinks I'm sleeping.
904 00:51:19 I lied to her, and I think she might have feelings for you.
905 00:51:22 - Oh, no. I don't think she... - I've been a terrible friend.
906 00:51:25 And I ruined that pillow.
907 00:51:27 - Oh, Edgar... - I should go.
908 00:51:30 Which means we don't have a lot of time.
909 00:51:32 Gosh, I need you inside me.
910 00:51:34 Let's go make love against those hard wooden stairs.
911 00:51:42 Edgar. Oh, thanks for letting me talk through this
912 00:51:45 and letting me ride you like that.
913 00:51:47 Now, I get meaningless sex.
914 00:51:50 It feels good physically, and that's all.
915 00:51:52 Star that was...
916 00:51:56 that was amazing.
917 00:52:00 I mean, it was really, really different.
918 00:52:02 - Did I bounce too much? - No.
919 00:52:04 Oh, good.
920 00:52:06 That was so lovely.
921 00:52:08 Listen, I really have to get back.
922 00:52:10 Barb, can never know about this.
923 00:52:12 Gosh, gotta go.
924 00:52:16 - Let's do it one more time. - Oh, yup. Yup. Please.
925 00:52:50 What are you doing?
926 00:52:53 Oh, I was just playing with this lamp.
927 00:52:55 - Oh. - I got a little reflux.
928 00:52:57 And I tried to wake you,
929 00:52:58 but I saw you put a pillow in the bed.
930 00:53:00 Was that just a funny joke? I laughed but then I wondered.
931 00:53:03 Oh, um, I just didn't wanna make you up.
932 00:53:06 You know, I didn't know how long I was gonna be out.
933 00:53:10 Oh, thank God.
934 00:53:11 I thought maybe you went down to the ocean and got swept away.
935 00:53:14 Where did you go?
936 00:53:16 I just went out to clear my head.
937 00:53:17 You know, get some of that salty breeze in my lungs.
938 00:53:21 - Okay. - And went for a walk with...
939 00:53:25 a turtle.
940 00:53:28 - A turtle? - You know, I just
941 00:53:29 wanna make sure he was safe, so I-I... made sure he got home.
942 00:53:34 You went to a turtle's house?
943 00:53:36 I went to a turtle's house.
944 00:53:38 Where do they live around here?
945 00:53:40 Oh, over by bushes. How was your bath?
946 00:53:43 Oh.
947 00:53:46 - It was good. Good tub. - Good.
948 00:53:48 I just stayed in there, the whole time.
949 00:53:51 Well, good for you.
950 00:53:52 Well, I was really relaxed, and the water was warm.
951 00:53:57 And I...
952 00:54:01 saw a turtle.
953 00:54:02 In the tub?
954 00:54:04 Yup. A baby one.
955 00:54:05 He just floated up out of the drain,
956 00:54:07 and he swam around, and he splashed me.
957 00:54:10 And I tried to pet him,
958 00:54:11 - but he got scared. - 'Cause your big?
959 00:54:13 So much bigger than him. He went back down.
960 00:54:15 And, uh, anyway, that's why you can't see him right now.
961 00:54:20 Wow.
962 00:54:23 We should probably hit the hay.
963 00:54:24 Yes. Let's go to bed. I'm tired.
964 00:54:29 Anyway, I'm so happy to be here with you.
965 00:54:32 Well, I'm so happy to be here with you.
966 00:54:35 - Good night. - Good night, Star.
967 00:55:04 Yoyo.
968 00:55:06 I love it.
969 00:55:08 I'm so happy I built you that craft room.
970 00:55:10 Now, let's go over the plan one last time.
971 00:55:13 - Are you ready? - Why does this plan
972 00:55:15 mean so much to you, huh?
973 00:55:16 Oh, Yoyo.
974 00:55:21 Bring me my chair.
975 00:55:22 Where shall I begin?
976 00:55:25 I was born here in Taylorsville.
977 00:55:27 I was also born with a skin condition the doctors called
978 00:55:31 pigmentatia-degenera-hysterica- whiteskinika.
979 00:55:35 Is it serious?
980 00:55:37 It is serious. You have to take care of yourself.
981 00:55:39 You have to stay out of the sunlight.
982 00:55:41 Leaving me forever allergic to the sun.
983 00:55:44 When I was seven years old, my father got a job
984 00:55:47 that would change our lives.
985 00:55:48 We packed up and moved to a small town
986 00:55:50 in Florida called...
987 00:55:53 Vista Del Mar.
988 00:55:55 At my new school, everyone made fun of me
989 00:55:58 because of the way that I looked.
990 00:56:00 They would call me names like...
991 00:56:01 - pale girl... - Pale girl.
992 00:56:03 - ...white devil... - White devil.
993 00:56:04 - ...and asshole. - Asshole.
994 00:56:07 I finally made one friend.
995 00:56:09 Her name was Maria Margolis.
996 00:56:13 She would stay inside with me.
997 00:56:15 We would read and create inventions,
998 00:56:17 cook food from her culture.
999 00:56:19 Then one day as we were walking to her casa,
1000 00:56:22 through the Vista Del Mar swamps,
1001 00:56:25 an alligator jumped out of the water and ate Maria
1002 00:56:28 right in front of me.
1003 00:56:31 Really gobbled her up.
1004 00:56:34 She was my last friend.
1005 00:56:37 Years later, my father convinced me
1006 00:56:39 to go to Vista Del Mar's annual Seafood Jam.
1007 00:56:44 I remember looking up on the stage
1008 00:56:46 at the four young pretty girls.
1009 00:56:49 One of them about to be crowned the new Shrimp Queen.
1010 00:56:53 And then all of a sudden...
1011 00:56:55 a group of popular girls
1012 00:56:56 from my school pushed me on to the stage...
1013 00:57:00 ...ripping my hat off, replacing it with a fake crown.
1014 00:57:03 - No. No. - Father was trying
1015 00:57:05 to get to the front, but he couldn't
1016 00:57:07 before the elderly mayor mistook me
1017 00:57:08 for the actual Shrimp Queen and proceeded with the tradition.
1018 00:57:12 He shoved me into the human cannon.
1019 00:57:15 Then one of the girls turned the dial all the way up.
1020 00:57:20 I was shot out into the ocean.
1021 00:57:24 As I rocketed through the air,
1022 00:57:25 the force of the wind ripped off all of my clothes.
1023 00:57:28 And I landed in the water...
1024 00:57:30 of a pool...
1025 00:57:32 of a Disney Cruise Ship.
1026 00:57:35 And there I was, a laughing stock.
1027 00:57:38 Bobbing in the water like a ball of fresh mozzarella.
1028 00:57:43 From all the guilt and the stress,
1029 00:57:45 my poor father suffered a heart attack.
1030 00:57:48 And my mother abandoned me to reinvent herself
1031 00:57:50 in Palm Springs. And after all that,
1032 00:57:53 I knew someday,
1033 00:57:56 I would get revenge on that small town.
1034 00:57:59 And everyone that chose to live in it.
1035 00:58:03 That dreadful town that ruined my life
1036 00:58:09 and cost me everything.
1037 00:58:15 I think your feelings are valid and this is the only answer.
1038 00:58:18 Thank you, Yoyo.
1039 00:58:19 But we have to get another microchip to Edgar.
1040 00:58:21 We're running out of time.
1041 00:58:22 Oh, don't worry about that.
1042 00:58:25 Plan B is in already in motion.
1043 00:58:44 - Here you go. - Thank you.
1044 00:58:46 It's me. We spoke on the phone.
1045 00:58:49 Darlie Bunkle?
1046 00:58:50 Shoot! I forgot you knew my name.
1047 00:58:53 Yeah, it's me, Darlie Bunkle. 205 Pagoda Drive.
1048 00:58:56 Is that your address?
1049 00:58:57 Damn it! That was private.
1050 00:59:00 So, any idea when you think the microchip will be ready?
1051 00:59:02 - It's ready. I have a plan. - Good.
1052 00:59:05 A piece of paper will be slipped under your door
1053 00:59:07 naming the time and the place for the drop off.
1054 00:59:10 It will lined notebook paper with frayed edges.
1055 00:59:13 Letters will be small because the message is private.
1056 00:59:16 Why don't you just tell it to me now
1057 00:59:19 instead of having to come back here later on?
1058 00:59:26 Listen, Edgar, I've been thinking about your idea.
1059 00:59:29 You know, the one where I just tell you where we're meeting
1060 00:59:32 instead of me driving a piece of paper to you
1061 00:59:34 - wherever you are later. - Yeah.
1062 00:59:35 And I like it. I like it.
1063 00:59:39 I'll meet you outside your hotel room
1064 00:59:41 probably at sundown.
1065 00:59:43 When you see me next, I'll be wearing a large
1066 00:59:45 purple Zorro-style fedora and the rest I don't know yet
1067 00:59:48 but I love colors, all of them.
1068 00:59:50 All right. I mean, you're the expert. Okay.
1069 00:59:52 Thank you. I am. Yeah, I'm gonna sneak out subtly,
1070 00:59:55 show you how it's done.
1071 01:00:04 Damn it!
1072 01:00:07 Bard, look. A banana boat.
1073 01:00:09 I can't wait for us to go on that together.
1074 01:00:11 Yeah.
1075 01:00:12 Ladies, I know I've said this a lot,
1076 01:00:14 but it's really hard to draw your faces
1077 01:00:16 when you keep talking.
1078 01:00:17 - Sorry. Enough said. Yes. - I'm sorry. Sorry about that.
1079 01:00:19 Apologize. What is she drawing?
1080 01:00:22 - I don't know. - You just did it.
1081 01:00:23 - You moved your head again. - I'm a caricature.
1082 01:00:25 The suspense is killing me.
1083 01:00:26 I hope she gives me bigger teeth.
1084 01:00:27 - Love big teeth. - She loves big teeth.
1085 01:00:29 - Good to know. - I just like how
1086 01:00:30 everything is accentuated in the caricatures.
1087 01:00:33 So, feel free to make my teeth as big as you want.
1088 01:00:35 Like just real big. Like, even if it's just two eyes
1089 01:00:38 and a bunch of teeth, that would be...
1090 01:00:40 Barb. Um, uh...
1091 01:00:41 Gosh! All of a sudden, I'm... I'm not feeling so good.
1092 01:00:44 Oh. Oh, no. Are you... are you okay?
1093 01:00:47 I don't know. No. I think I have the flu.
1094 01:00:49 I think I should go lay down in the room or something.
1095 01:00:51 Oh, Star. Do you want me to come with you?
1096 01:00:53 No. I don't wanna ruin your day.
1097 01:00:55 Just, uh, go snorkeling?
1098 01:00:56 Snorkeling? In the ocean with the currents?
1099 01:00:58 - Oh, I couldn't do that. - Oh.
1100 01:00:59 Plus, we said we were gonna do these things together.
1101 01:01:01 I'll just wait for you to get better.
1102 01:01:03 Probably a few hours or so. I'm feeling very faint.
1103 01:01:05 But, um, I'll see you... I'll see you then.
1104 01:01:07 - All right. I'm done. - Star.
1105 01:01:09 And there you go. Enjoy.
1106 01:01:12 I can see where the talking was problematic.
1107 01:01:15 Uh-hmm. That's what your face was doing.
1108 01:01:31 You want in?
1109 01:01:32 Oh, no. No, thanks.
1110 01:02:03 There's a current, everyone! There's a current!
1111 01:02:07 Oh, my God. Waves.
1112 01:03:01 Oh.
1113 01:03:09 Oh, no!
1114 01:03:11 How are you feeling? Let me check.
1115 01:03:14 Oh. Yup. It's fever. A hundred and thirty-seven.
1116 01:03:17 - Oh. - You better rest.
1117 01:03:20 Look at you. Looks like you're getting a little tan.
1118 01:03:23 Oh.
1119 01:03:27 There's a skylight in the business center.
1120 01:03:28 Oh.
1121 01:03:29 I've been in the business center.
1122 01:03:30 - Okay. Well, I better... Gosh! - I don't wanna give you
1123 01:03:32 - what I have. - I'm gonna let you get you rest.
1124 01:03:34 - Contagious. I'm so sick. - Yeah.
1125 01:03:36 Yeah, I'll check in with you later.
1126 01:04:02 Woo! This is living!
1127 01:04:07 Woo!
1128 01:04:13 Mm.
1129 01:04:17 These just arrived.
1130 01:04:24 Well, looks like Edgar is distracting himself.
1131 01:04:28 Hmm.
1132 01:04:31 Well, she is beautiful.
1133 01:04:34 You want me to take care of them?
1134 01:04:37 No, Yoyo. I'll handle this.
1135 01:04:50 Ow! Oh, my... Ow!
1136 01:04:53 - Here! - Oh, my.
1137 01:04:56 Take my calloused hand.
1138 01:05:00 Oh. That's very calloused.
1139 01:05:02 Wow! Feels like barnacles.
1140 01:05:05 Oh, yeah. I fell on my elbow.
1141 01:05:07 It's all right. It'll be fine.
1142 01:05:09 What is such a beautiful woman doing all alone out here?
1143 01:05:13 in the sticks?
1144 01:05:15 Oh. I'm just changing into my regular clothes.
1145 01:05:18 I... I'm sorry. I thought it was private here.
1146 01:05:20 Give me your arm.
1147 01:05:21 - What? - Your arm.
1148 01:05:23 Oh.
1149 01:05:25 Thank you.
1150 01:05:27 What do you mean regular clothes?
1151 01:05:29 It's a long story. I'm on vacation,
1152 01:05:31 and my friend is sick,
1153 01:05:33 and I've been pretending that I'm doing nothing,
1154 01:05:35 but I've been doing everything.
1155 01:05:36 Anyway, I feel bad.
1156 01:05:38 But I have to admit, I also have never felt more alive.
1157 01:05:40 Am I a bad friend?
1158 01:05:42 You could only be a friend
1159 01:05:44 if you're a friend to yourself first.
1160 01:05:45 That is where you find your truth.
1161 01:05:47 What if I don't know my truth?
1162 01:05:49 - What if you do? - Oh.
1163 01:05:51 You are finding your courage, your voice.
1164 01:05:54 - You're being delivered. - I am?
1165 01:05:57 It is time to mount the wind and ride it
1166 01:05:59 with the fierceness of a hippopotamus.
1167 01:06:03 Okay.
1168 01:06:05 - Ha-hoya! - Oh.
1169 01:06:07 - You are rising. - Oh, my God.
1170 01:06:10 Your truth is that you are a phoenix.
1171 01:06:15 Dumbledore's bird.
1172 01:06:18 - Who? - Dumbledore.
1173 01:06:21 I must leave now... to finish my swamp walk.
1174 01:06:26 Remember, your shimmer is on the horizon.
1175 01:06:31 My shimmer? How did you know that?
1176 01:06:35 It's what I do.
1177 01:06:38 Wait. Sir, I'm sorry, what was your name.
1178 01:06:41 The name is Tommy.
1179 01:06:44 Tommy Bahama.
1180 01:06:53 What the fu...
1181 01:06:55 Bless you.
1182 01:06:56 Thank you.
1183 01:06:59 Edgar, what are we gonna do when this trip is over?
1184 01:07:02 Let's not talk about the future.
1185 01:07:04 I just wanna spend every moment we have
1186 01:07:06 discovering different levels of specialness in you.
1187 01:07:09 Oh, you're so amazing.
1188 01:07:11 I have so many feelings in my heart.
1189 01:07:13 Just incredible and amazing.
1190 01:07:15 I have those feelings too.
1191 01:07:22 You've been pleasuring me a lot lately.
1192 01:07:24 In that last position, your dong went really deep.
1193 01:07:28 I think your dong went all the way up and...
1194 01:07:32 touched my heart.
1195 01:07:34 So, what do we do now?
1196 01:07:35 I mean, do you still just want
1197 01:07:37 meaningless flings or something more...
1198 01:07:39 Official?
1199 01:07:42 What?
1200 01:07:44 Oh, Star!
1201 01:07:54 Oh, I have to go. I have... I have a business meeting.
1202 01:07:57 Oh, business meeting.
1203 01:07:59 Oh, no. I wish I could tell you more about my job,
1204 01:08:01 - but... - No. No. Come on.
1205 01:08:03 What else is there to know? You're a clam inspector,
1206 01:08:06 and you're in town on top business.
1207 01:08:14 Okay.
1208 01:08:27 Gosh, he smells so good.
1209 01:08:31 Is this right?
1210 01:08:33 What about Barb?
1211 01:08:38 I'm in a big pickle, little crab.
1212 01:08:41 What am I gonna do?
1213 01:08:44 Go with your heart. Love is rare.
1214 01:08:49 True friends forgive.
1215 01:08:52 Oh. Well, that makes me feel better.
1216 01:08:54 - I... - To a point.
1217 01:08:56 Well, it depends what you do and how long your lie lasts.
1218 01:08:59 Now, if you really "F" her over,
1219 01:09:02 she is not gonna talk to you again.
1220 01:09:04 Oh. Well, thanks a lot.
1221 01:09:09 Shoot! I should probably get going.
1222 01:09:12 The name's Morgan.
1223 01:09:13 Morgan Freemond, with a "D."
1224 01:09:16 Okay. Well, maybe I'll see you around.
1225 01:09:19 You won't.
1226 01:09:22 I am going into the ocean tonight
1227 01:09:24 and I shall never return.
1228 01:09:27 Oh, I have lived a full life.
1229 01:09:30 Bathed in the sun. Slept in the sand.
1230 01:09:33 I was in jail. Even drove an old lady around,
1231 01:09:38 and taught her about tolerance and true friendship.
1232 01:09:41 But that kid is long gone.
1233 01:09:44 This old crab is all that's left.
1234 01:09:50 Goodbye, me.
1235 01:10:04 Psst! Get me tonight. I'm having a yard sale.
1236 01:10:06 And it's going better than I thought.
1237 01:10:08 So, the microchip is inside. Keep it private.
1238 01:10:11 Darlie Bunkle. Age, 41. Weight, 179. Damn it!
1239 01:10:18 Oh, my gosh.
1240 01:10:20 I love this place.
1241 01:10:22 I love this bar. I love the food.
1242 01:10:24 I love the way Richard's music always lift my spirits. Oh!
1243 01:10:37 That one's a little dark, but I love it here.
1244 01:10:40 We love having you, Barb.
1245 01:10:41 Aw, that's so sweet.
1246 01:10:42 Hey, Barb.
1247 01:10:43 - Jeff. - Ready for the banana boat?
1248 01:10:45 - Oh, yes. - All right.
1249 01:10:47 Gosh! I forgot we were doing this.
1250 01:10:48 - Put this on. - Is it okay
1251 01:10:50 if I just wear my culottes? I forgot.
1252 01:10:51 - Yeah. - Great.
1253 01:10:53 Just helping you ready 'cause you're in
1254 01:10:54 for a real tit flapper.
1255 01:10:56 Jeff, really?
1256 01:10:57 It's what it does.
1257 01:10:59 Your skin jiggles, your tits start flapping.
1258 01:11:01 - Anyway, after you. - Oh, okay.
1259 01:11:04 Oh, I'm so excited.
1260 01:11:05 I'm, you know, feeling a little guilty.
1261 01:11:07 I supposed to be doing this with Star.
1262 01:11:10 You know what?
1263 01:11:11 I'm gonna wait till she's feeling better,
1264 01:11:14 'cause this the one thing
1265 01:11:15 that we really, really, really wanted to do together.
1266 01:11:21 Star?
1267 01:11:25 Ya-ya-yow!
1268 01:11:29 That's hot.
1269 01:11:36 Look, Star, I...
1270 01:11:39 I really like you.
1271 01:11:40 Oh, my God. Yes, I will.
1272 01:11:43 - What? - Hmm?
1273 01:11:45 Oh. Oh. Nothing. Never mind. I thought you were... It wasn't.
1274 01:11:50 It's not. It's okay. Never mind.
1275 01:11:52 My head is just a little...
1276 01:11:57 That's my cell phone.
1277 01:11:59 - Oh. Phew! - Yeah.
1278 01:12:02 It's work. I should probably take this.
1279 01:12:05 Okay.
1280 01:12:06 See each other soon?
1281 01:12:08 - Okay. - Star.
1282 01:12:09 Yeah?
1283 01:12:10 I've never been this happy.
1284 01:12:12 Really?
1285 01:12:14 Oh.
1286 01:12:15 - Musical. - What?
1287 01:12:17 Uh-uh. I've gonna be...
1288 01:12:22 I didn't get it.
1289 01:12:24 I'm gonna be... Yeah.
1290 01:12:26 Okay.
1291 01:12:30 Hmm?
1292 01:12:45 Star.
1293 01:12:48 Well, I don't know how much clearer I can be.
1294 01:12:53 I've changed my mind.
1295 01:12:55 I see now, you've been using me.
1296 01:12:57 Edgar, don't be silly.
1297 01:12:59 We're almost at the finish line.
1298 01:13:01 And you and I can be official.
1299 01:13:04 Don't even try.
1300 01:13:05 You know, I've figured it all out.
1301 01:13:07 You pretended to loved me.
1302 01:13:09 You made me a bunch of promises
1303 01:13:11 so that I would come down here
1304 01:13:12 and place the receiver on the stage,
1305 01:13:14 in the middle of the Seafood Jam party,
1306 01:13:16 that will attract thousands of deadly mosquitoes
1307 01:13:18 that are gonna kill thousands of people.
1308 01:13:20 Excuse me.
1309 01:13:22 Did you get that leaf and pearl necklace down by the boardwalk?
1310 01:13:25 Oh, yes. I got it at Baleafy Ornate.
1311 01:13:29 I'm sorry. What?
1312 01:13:30 - Baleafy Ornate. - What?
1313 01:13:33 And not that you care, but I have met someone.
1314 01:13:35 And unlike you, I know... I know what real love feels like,
1315 01:13:38 and it is not how you've treated me.
1316 01:13:41 - It feels amazing and special. - Oh, Edgar,
1317 01:13:45 I really hate to be the one to tell you this.
1318 01:13:47 You know, you... your girlfriend
1319 01:13:49 and her little partner, the ones with the fluffy hair
1320 01:13:51 - and the culottes. - How do you know about them?
1321 01:13:54 Their spies, Edgar. They're not who they say they are
1322 01:13:57 and they've been playing you all along.
1323 01:14:00 - You're lying. - I wish I was.
1324 01:14:02 Luckily,
1325 01:14:03 I have some inside sources at their agency.
1326 01:14:06 What agency? Who do they work for?
1327 01:14:08 -The H... P... V.
1328 01:14:13 - Sounds familiar. - Check your emails.
1329 01:14:15 We've intercepted some of the photos they've sent back
1330 01:14:18 to headquarters. I think you'll find
1331 01:14:19 there are some interesting ones.
1332 01:14:24 It all looks very fun.
1333 01:14:27 - Star, no. - Oh,
1334 01:14:29 I know, Edgar,
1335 01:14:30 this must hurt that she lied to you about loving you.
1336 01:14:34 And I don't blame you
1337 01:14:35 about running into the arms of another woman.
1338 01:14:37 I hadn't been there for you, and I'm so sorry.
1339 01:14:39 Let's get away after this, find a little place in Portugal
1340 01:14:43 where we can be official.
1341 01:14:45 I got the necklace at Baleafy Ornate.
1342 01:14:48 - I cannot hear you. What? - Baleafy Ornate.
1343 01:14:51 It's called Baleafy Ornate!
1344 01:14:52 It sells everything bay leaf!
1345 01:14:54 It's a play on words! My God, lady!
1346 01:14:57 Okay.
1347 01:15:00 Oh.
1348 01:15:04 Sorry I yelled.
1349 01:15:06 - Sorry. - Shit!
1350 01:15:07 What shit?
1351 01:15:08 It was Barb, the other one. She was listening
1352 01:15:11 at the door. Damn, they're good...
1353 01:15:12 spies. I can't believe this.
1354 01:15:15 Edgar, you listen to me and you listen to me good.
1355 01:15:27 - Edgar? - I'm listening.
1356 01:15:29 Okay. I just wanted to make sure you could still hear me.
1357 01:15:31 Sometimes the connection in here...
1358 01:15:33 Anyway,
1359 01:15:34 I need you to find those two. And kill them.
1360 01:15:41 Star.
1361 01:15:43 Star!
1362 01:15:48 Oh, don't bother pretending to be sick anymore.
1363 01:15:50 I know all about your little lies.
1364 01:15:52 And I know all about you and Edgar.
1365 01:15:54 And guess what? He's a bad man!
1366 01:15:56 And he's gonna do something terrible!
1367 01:15:57 - What? - He's following orders
1368 01:15:59 from someone. I overheard him on the phone with his boss.
1369 01:16:01 His boss from Clamco?
1370 01:16:02 No, Star! He lied to you! He's a killer!
1371 01:16:04 A killer?
1372 01:16:06 But, Barb, what you're saying is ridiculous.
1373 01:16:09 There's nothing ridiculous about what I'm saying.
1374 01:16:11 Edgar put a receiver in the middle of the Seafood Jam
1375 01:16:13 that'll trigger deadly mosquitos that'll fly into the crowd
1376 01:16:15 and sting everybody with their killer tails!
1377 01:16:18 Why are you doing this?
1378 01:16:23 - You're making this all up! - Oh, come on.
1379 01:16:25 I cannot believe you.
1380 01:16:26 You're mad because Edgar picked me!
1381 01:16:29 Get me a break. I am not mad about that.
1382 01:16:31 And I am not making it up.
1383 01:16:33 - I'm calling the police. - Fine.
1384 01:16:38 Jeff's Banana Boats?
1385 01:16:40 I didn't go through with it.
1386 01:16:42 While I was lying here in my deathbed?
1387 01:16:43 - You weren't sick. - You didn't know that?
1388 01:16:45 - Because you lied. - So did you.
1389 01:16:51 I should have gone on that banana boat.
1390 01:16:53 - I wish I did. - Oh.
1391 01:16:54 I hear it's a real tit flapper.
1392 01:17:01 911, what's your emergency?
1393 01:17:03 Uh, never mind.
1394 01:17:04 I thought I saw a burglar but it was a... turtle.
1395 01:17:21 Yoyo, where are you?
1396 01:17:23 The mosquitoes are almost there.
1397 01:17:25 Goodie.
1398 01:17:26 And, remember, don't keep the steering wheel too straight.
1399 01:17:30 Lots of tiny movements, left to right.
1400 01:17:35 I wish we wouldn't have had these ropes.
1401 01:17:37 Stop squirming.
1402 01:17:39 Believe me this is better. I'm supposed to kill you guys.
1403 01:17:42 What? Who said to kill us? Edgar, what is happening?
1404 01:17:44 - Ow! Our bracelets are sharp. - These bracelets really hurt.
1405 01:17:47 - They're sharp. I know. - They're sharp, be careful
1406 01:17:49 with that. And we...
1407 01:17:51 Edgar, you lied to me!
1408 01:17:54 You should talk. I know all about the HPV.
1409 01:17:58 Okay. Look, I was gonna tell you about that.
1410 01:18:00 A lot of people have it. I mean, you probably have it.
1411 01:18:03 What? Stop trying to confuse me.
1412 01:18:05 Star, I thought you we're different.
1413 01:18:08 Edgar.
1414 01:18:09 Don't let him bamboozled you, Star.
1415 01:18:11 He's a murderer. Tell her.
1416 01:18:12 - You're not who you say you are. - You're not who you say you are.
1417 01:18:15 We are who we are. We're Barb and Star.
1418 01:18:18 Unlike you, Edgar, you big effin' liar.
1419 01:18:21 Huh?
1420 01:18:22 God, I knew this wasn't real.
1421 01:18:24 And no one could ever love me again.
1422 01:18:26 God, I'm in so much grief right now.
1423 01:18:28 - Goodbye, ladies. - Edgar, please wait.
1424 01:18:31 A lot of innocent people will die.
1425 01:18:33 At least tell us why?
1426 01:18:34 Why you would ever be involved with such an awful thing?
1427 01:18:40 Fine. I'll tell you.
1428 01:18:46 - Oh, he pulled up a chair. - It's gonna be a long story.
1429 01:18:50 When I was seven years old my father
1430 01:18:52 left my mom, my eleven sisters, and me.
1431 01:18:54 - Use your bracelet. - I was the oldest,
1432 01:18:56 so I had to support us.
1433 01:18:58 We had no money.
1434 01:19:01 I did odd jobs. I built lawnmowers for Honda.
1435 01:19:04 I even tried to sell my poop to farmers
1436 01:19:06 saying that it was fertilizer.
1437 01:19:09 It was never enough.
1438 01:19:11 One day, a woman wearing a cape
1439 01:19:13 and bag over her head put $50 in my cup.
1440 01:19:18 - Oh. Hmm. - Oh. Mm-hmm.
1441 01:19:22 She started to seduce me
1442 01:19:24 as the errands became more criminal.
1443 01:19:25 I fell under her spell.
1444 01:19:28 I thought it was love.
1445 01:19:32 I would do anything for her.
1446 01:19:34 We'd always talk about this particular plan.
1447 01:19:36 Her life's work.
1448 01:19:38 When it came time to help her, I said, Yes.
1449 01:19:40 Of course, I had my reservations,
1450 01:19:41 but...
1451 01:19:43 But she said when it was over, we could be an official couple.
1452 01:19:47 That's all I wanted at the time. That's all I've ever wanted.
1453 01:19:51 People do crazy things for love.
1454 01:19:54 Yeah, but, I mean, killing people, that's...
1455 01:19:56 that's a lot.
1456 01:19:57 Yeah, it's a lot of people. That's... that's a little crazy.
1457 01:20:01 Is it? Wouldn't you have done it for Carmine?
1458 01:20:05 And you for Ron?
1459 01:20:09 Wait.
1460 01:20:10 How do you know about Barb's dead husband, Ron Quicksilver?
1461 01:20:13 - Wait. - She told me
1462 01:20:14 - when she came to see me. - Oh.
1463 01:20:15 That night on the foot bridge right before you did.
1464 01:20:18 Well, you weren't supposed to say that.
1465 01:20:20 Goodbye, Barb and Star. Whoever you are.
1466 01:20:27 Okay. We can talk about it. Let's just talk about it.
1467 01:20:30 It's... It was a long time ago. A long time.
1468 01:20:33 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
1469 01:20:35 to the 49th Annual Seafood Jam,
1470 01:20:38 where the clams are hot
1471 01:20:40 and the crowd is on the older side.
1472 01:20:46 People are gonna die!
1473 01:20:47 - We have to find Edgar! - You're right,
1474 01:20:49 but by me agreeing with you about having to stop Edgar,
1475 01:20:51 I don't agree about stopping being mad at you.
1476 01:20:53 We agree to go. But I want you to know
1477 01:20:55 that I'm frustrated and hurt
1478 01:20:56 and I'm really freaking pissed off.
1479 01:20:58 I'm freaking pissed off too. It's not that I'm copying you
1480 01:21:00 - It's because I am. - Fine.
1481 01:21:06 Hello.
1482 01:21:07 Hi.
1483 01:21:26 Oh, hello.
1484 01:21:29 Enjoying your vacation?
1485 01:21:32 - Well, um... - Oh, um...
1486 01:21:33 - It started out fine. - ...supposed to be a friend trip
1487 01:21:36 - We got here and we were... - And we got here.
1488 01:21:38 No, I didn't...
1489 01:21:39 The first night, we went out to loosen up a little bit.
1490 01:21:41 That's when we meet Edgar, which was not a good idea.
1491 01:21:44 Edgar and I started hanging out, and I was lying to Barb,
1492 01:21:47 - which I shouldn't have done... - I met Tommy Bahama.
1493 01:21:49 - You met Tommy Bahama? Anyway... - Then we discovered...
1494 01:21:51 Enough!
1495 01:21:52 I have set up one last excursion for the two of you.
1496 01:21:56 It's more of a game, really.
1497 01:21:58 The rules are you get to choose how you die.
1498 01:22:04 - What? - What?
1499 01:22:05 You can either jump off that cliff behind you
1500 01:22:07 hitting every sharp rock on the way down,
1501 01:22:09 ripping your skin at every bounce
1502 01:22:11 or you can stay here and have dinner
1503 01:22:15 with, um... my new friends.
1504 01:22:18 There are two
1505 01:22:20 very hungry hot alligators in those crates.
1506 01:22:24 Alligators?
1507 01:22:25 - Oh, please. No, no... - No, no, no...
1508 01:22:27 That's what you get for getting in my way.
1509 01:22:31 Now, you can kiss your middle-aged, flat, wide asses...
1510 01:22:39 ...goodbye.
1511 01:22:40 - Please wait! - Oh, my gosh!
1512 01:22:42 No, no, no, no, no, no.
1513 01:22:46 Thanks a lot, Star, for making me come on this trip.
1514 01:22:49 Now, we're gonna die just like I predicted.
1515 01:22:50 Oh, will you just stop your complaining for once?
1516 01:22:52 Seems to me like you've been having the time
1517 01:22:54 - of your life here. - Oh, I sure have.
1518 01:23:10 When we get to heaven, we're not living with each other,
1519 01:23:12 and we're not running around playing harps
1520 01:23:14 in our halos and wings!
1521 01:23:15 Oh, yeah? Well, I'm not even gonna look for you up there!
1522 01:23:18 I'm gonna find the farthest cloud away from you.
1523 01:23:20 And I'm gonna find Betsy Ross!
1524 01:23:22 And I'm gonna be best friends with her.
1525 01:23:24 And we're gonna ignore you at all the parties.
1526 01:23:31 I guess we're gonna die on bad terms.
1527 01:23:33 I guess you're right.
1528 01:23:54 - Our culottes! - They're natural parachutes.
1529 01:24:13 I'm so sorry. Oh!
1530 01:24:15 So sorry. Lying to you was the hardest thing
1531 01:24:17 I've ever had to do.
1532 01:24:18 - I'm sorry too. - No. This is all my fault.
1533 01:24:20 None of this will be happening if I hadn't suggested
1534 01:24:22 coming on this trip in the first place.
1535 01:24:23 Are you kidding? I've had the time of my life here.
1536 01:24:26 I've done things I never thought I would do.
1537 01:24:27 I went in the ocean, Star.
1538 01:24:29 - And I got my labia pierced. - What?
1539 01:24:32 I took it out. Immediately took it out.
1540 01:24:34 I should never have spent all that time with Edgar
1541 01:24:36 behind your back. I should've told you.
1542 01:24:38 I know you're only trying to protect my feelings.
1543 01:24:40 And I'm so happy you found love.
1544 01:24:44 I mean, it's unfortunate that he turned out to be a conman
1545 01:24:47 - and a mass murderer. - Yeah. Yeah.
1546 01:24:51 - Oh, my God. - Edgar.
1547 01:24:52 - We have to stop him. - Go!
1548 01:24:55 The Seafood Jam just keeps on jamming!
1549 01:24:58 Nice view.
1550 01:25:02 What are you doing here?
1551 01:25:05 Cleaning up your mess.
1552 01:25:07 Seems like you can't follow through
1553 01:25:08 with anything these days. For example,
1554 01:25:10 getting rid of your little friends.
1555 01:25:14 - I did. I-I mean, I... - Oh, it's okay, Edgar.
1556 01:25:17 I took care of them myself.
1557 01:25:20 What?
1558 01:25:21 - What did you do? - Let's just say
1559 01:25:23 there are a couple of alligators out there
1560 01:25:26 with bellies full of... them.
1561 01:25:30 Oh, don't be so sad, Edgar.
1562 01:25:33 Those two were just a couple of pathetic Stellas
1563 01:25:36 trying to get their groove back.
1564 01:25:39 But they were spies, right?
1565 01:25:41 I mean, you told me that they were spies.
1566 01:25:44 Sorry. I just said that to get what I want.
1567 01:25:47 Sometimes I do that,
1568 01:25:48 but I'll work on it on our relationship, I promise.
1569 01:25:52 That is still what you want, isn't it, Edgar?
1570 01:25:55 To be official?
1571 01:25:58 And, um, the receiver is in position?
1572 01:26:02 It's on the stage.
1573 01:26:03 - The microchip is inside. - Good.
1574 01:26:11 This is it.
1575 01:26:13 My moment of glory.
1576 01:26:16 Goodbye, Vista Del Mar. You stupid place
1577 01:26:21 full of dummies.
1578 01:26:30 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1579 01:26:33 Shit.
1580 01:26:43 - Shit. - Of course, shrimp
1581 01:26:44 is the most popular fish in America.
1582 01:26:47 Let's introduce our finalists.
1583 01:26:49 Star?
1584 01:26:50 - Sorry. - Excuse me. Excuse me.
1585 01:26:52 Oh, my God. Where?
1586 01:26:54 He said it was on the stage.
1587 01:26:59 - Star. - Yes?
1588 01:27:01 Oh, my gosh. That's it.
1589 01:27:03 Star, it's bleeping.
1590 01:27:05 Go, go, go, go.
1591 01:27:10 - We need to get it in the water! - Okay!
1592 01:27:12 Run, run! Oh. Wait, wait, wait.
1593 01:27:14 - Look, look, look. - Yeah?
1594 01:27:15 - Oh, Lord, shells? - Everything's shells.
1595 01:27:18 What kind of bird is this? It's all made out of shells.
1596 01:27:20 - Star! - He's coming. Run!
1597 01:27:22 Star. Guys, please stop!
1598 01:27:23 Please wait! Hey, I'm trying to stop this!
1599 01:27:25 No! We won't let you do this.
1600 01:27:27 We'll throw it on the ocean and destroy it.
1601 01:27:29 No. That won't destroy it.
1602 01:27:30 - Just... just give it to me. - No.
1603 01:27:32 Look, I'm sorry.
1604 01:27:33 She told me you were spies. That's why I tied you up.
1605 01:27:35 She's manipulated me this whole time.
1606 01:27:38 - Why should we believe you? - Because...
1607 01:27:42 I love you, Star.
1608 01:27:45 Oh.
1609 01:27:46 I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met,
1610 01:27:50 especially on the inside.
1611 01:27:52 Edgar, please. Not in front of Barb.
1612 01:27:56 - No. Not that inside. - Oh.
1613 01:27:58 - Your heart. - Oh.
1614 01:28:00 Listen, I need you guys to get in the cab
1615 01:28:03 and drive inland as fast as you can, okay?
1616 01:28:05 I'm gonna get in the boat and dump the receiver
1617 01:28:07 far out in the ocean, okay?
1618 01:28:08 You don't have to worry about me.
1619 01:28:09 Look, I have the antidote.
1620 01:28:16 What's the matter?
1621 01:28:18 Lemon infused ice tea?
1622 01:28:20 She was setting me up to die this whole time.
1623 01:28:23 - Oh. That's not nice. - Oh. Oh, no.
1624 01:28:26 It doesn't matter.
1625 01:28:27 The plan is the same. I have to go through with it.
1626 01:28:30 I got us into this mess. I'm gonna fix it.
1627 01:28:32 - No, Edgar. No, you can't. - Star...
1628 01:28:35 I'm sorry for getting you into this.
1629 01:28:38 - Goodbye, Star. - No.
1630 01:28:39 You mean hello...
1631 01:28:41 ...to me.
1632 01:28:43 It's me, fools,
1633 01:28:44 Darlie Bunkle. Now, do you recognize me?
1634 01:28:48 I was wearing disguise glasses.
1635 01:28:50 And this disguise shirt,
1636 01:28:51 - and this disguise... - Run!
1637 01:28:53 Whoa! Hey!
1638 01:28:59 Hey. Sir. Sir, can we please borrow your Jet Ski?
1639 01:29:02 It's really important.
1640 01:29:03 Don't explain. I need no further information.
1641 01:29:05 - Take it. We trust you. Come on. - I'll drive. Come on.
1642 01:29:07 Okay.
1643 01:29:09 Uh, it's beeping faster.
1644 01:29:14 Okie-dokey. Time to surface.
1645 01:29:24 We're sorry,
1646 01:29:25 you have reached a number that's no longer in service.
1647 01:29:55 Ladies and gentlemen...
1648 01:29:59 ...who will be this year's
1649 01:30:01 Seafood Jam Shrimp Queen?
1650 01:30:27 Releasing the mosquitoes.
1651 01:30:39 What's happening?
1652 01:30:41 We're gonna die this time!
1653 01:30:47 Okay. My turn.
1654 01:30:50 My favorite facial expression goes like this.
1655 01:31:01 Lord, we're coming to see you now!
1656 01:31:03 - Open the gate! - The pearly one!
1657 01:31:05 Make sure it's the pearly one!
1658 01:31:08 And the winner is...
1659 01:31:10 Sydney Hobart!
1660 01:31:24 Just stop!
1661 01:31:27 Fine.
1662 01:31:30 I'll give you your break. You need it.
1663 01:31:33 Star. What have I done? I should be right there.
1664 01:31:40 Barb, I gotta get something
1665 01:31:42 really big off my chest. The biggest lie of them all.
1666 01:31:44 - I gotta tell you. - What?
1667 01:31:46 I never went to a turtle's house.
1668 01:31:48 Oh, Star, that's okay.
1669 01:31:50 I never splashed and played with a baby turtle in the tub.
1670 01:31:53 I never even got in the tub.
1671 01:31:54 And I still have my labia pierced.
1672 01:31:56 - What? - God, it's so uncomfortable
1673 01:31:57 sitting on this thing. I don't think it's healed yet.
1674 01:32:00 Barb?
1675 01:32:03 Barb!
1676 01:32:11 - Give it to me! - It's too late. It's over.
1677 01:32:19 Give it to me, or she drowns!
1678 01:32:21 Star, no! Star, no!
1679 01:32:27 Really?
1680 01:32:34 Eureka!
1681 01:32:37 Ha!
1682 01:32:43 Looking for this?
1683 01:32:45 Yes, I was actually.
1684 01:32:48 You're really gonna sacrifice your own lives
1685 01:32:50 for those fools on the beach?
1686 01:32:53 Give me the keys!
1687 01:32:55 - Barb? - Star?
1688 01:32:57 No, no, no, no.
1689 01:33:04 No! No!
1690 01:34:19 Sorry about that, man.
1691 01:34:21 Let me know if you wanna get some food later.
1692 01:34:30 Barb and Star,
1693 01:34:31 they... they saved us all. Now they're gone.
1694 01:35:01 What the fuck?
1695 01:35:10 You're alive?
1696 01:35:15 What just happened? What was that?
1697 01:35:21 It was Trish.
1698 01:35:31 Oh, Star, I'm so sorry
1699 01:35:33 I was ever involved in such a horrible plan. I mean,
1700 01:35:36 I'm so ashamed.
1701 01:35:38 No, Edgar, I believe you.
1702 01:35:41 And I do wanna be an official couple with you.
1703 01:35:45 Because I love you.
1704 01:35:47 I love you with all my fart... heart.
1705 01:35:49 Oh, God. What a terrible time to flub my words.
1706 01:35:53 - Whoo. - Yeah.
1707 01:35:54 - All right. - Wow!
1708 01:35:55 I just wanna say,
1709 01:35:58 I believe you too, Edgar, so we're cool.
1710 01:36:01 Everything's cool.
1711 01:36:03 I do wonder where we're all gonna live though?
1712 01:36:06 Well, isn't this sweet?
1713 01:36:11 Surprised to see me?
1714 01:36:13 Well, I'm not surprise. You took the real antidote?
1715 01:36:16 Of course, I did! You traitor!
1716 01:36:18 And as for you, I should've push you two
1717 01:36:21 off the cliff when I had the chance!
1718 01:36:23 But it's not too late for me
1719 01:36:26 to shut your blabbing trap.
1720 01:36:28 No. You shut your blabbing trap.
1721 01:36:30 You're a nobody.
1722 01:36:33 Not anymore!
1723 01:36:35 I am Barb freakin' Quicksilver, and I have been delivered.
1724 01:36:39 I used to be afraid
1725 01:36:41 of a lot of stuff, including people like you.
1726 01:36:43 But I'm not afraid anymore!
1727 01:36:44 And I know my truth. I'm a phoenix.
1728 01:36:46 Now, my friend,
1729 01:36:49 Star is really good with words, and she is gonna speak now!
1730 01:36:51 You won't be rude through it.
1731 01:36:52 You won't be rude, you rude lady!
1732 01:36:55 Ha-hoya!
1733 01:36:57 Star, the beach is yours.
1734 01:37:02 You can do this, Star.
1735 01:37:08 Hi.
1736 01:37:10 I know you have a lot of pain.
1737 01:37:12 You're just trying to hurt all these people because...
1738 01:37:16 you're hurting inside yourself.
1739 01:37:18 But you're not alone.
1740 01:37:21 I've always been alone.
1741 01:37:24 Well, that's terrible. No friends?
1742 01:37:27 I hate that word.
1743 01:37:30 Friend is the best word of all.
1744 01:37:32 I mean, they're there when you're sad.
1745 01:37:34 They jump up and down with you when something good happens.
1746 01:37:37 Yeah. And you'll spend your birthdays together
1747 01:37:39 and stay up late giggling about boobs and butts and stuff.
1748 01:37:43 No one ever wants to be... my friend.
1749 01:37:50 I'll be your friend.
1750 01:37:51 What?
1751 01:37:53 So will I.
1752 01:37:56 Me too. I'll be your friend.
1753 01:37:58 - Me too. - Me too.
1754 01:37:59 - Me too. - Me too.
1755 01:38:00 I'd very much like being your friend,
1756 01:38:02 if you'll take me.
1757 01:38:07 Edgar?
1758 01:38:09 Uh... I mean, it's kind of weird but I guess.
1759 01:38:14 After everything I've done?
1760 01:38:19 I'm not going to...
1761 01:38:21 I'm not gonna get emotional.
1762 01:38:23 No. No!
1763 01:38:25 I'm not going to cry. No.
1764 01:38:28 They're trying to come up, but no.
1765 01:38:31 No! No!
1766 01:38:32 They're coming. My feelings are coming!
1767 01:38:38 Yes!
1768 01:38:39 I'm ready to have friends!
1769 01:38:43 And now I'm gonna rush out into the crowd.
1770 01:38:46 I mean, all of you, we could giggle
1771 01:38:47 about boobs and butts. Who wants to be my first friend?
1772 01:38:50 We did it.
1773 01:38:56 Barb, there something on your chest.
1774 01:39:00 - It's like you're glowing. - So are you. On your chest.
1775 01:39:04 What is...
1776 01:39:07 It's our shimmer.
1777 01:39:16 - Edgar. - That's great.
1778 01:39:18 - We got our shimmer. I saw hers. - She saw mine.
1779 01:39:20 What do you say we go celebrate
1780 01:39:22 if I get another buried treasure.
1781 01:39:23 - Ooh. That sounds fun. - Yeah.
1782 01:39:25 - Really fun! - But actually, um...
1783 01:39:27 Barb and I have something we have to do first.
1784 01:39:31 - We found it. - I can't believe it.
1785 01:39:33 Well, looks like Barb and Star
1786 01:39:36 found some adventure after all.
1787 01:39:38 I mean, ain't that what we all want?
1788 01:39:41 A little love, friendship, and adventure?
1789 01:39:44 Well, I hope you learned something here today.
1790 01:39:46 I know I did.
1791 01:39:47 Sometimes you gotta step out of your box a little
1792 01:39:50 then you'll know what life is really about.
1793 01:39:53 But then again, what do I know?
1794 01:39:55 I'm just a fun-loving water spirit named Trish.
1795 01:39:59 Bye-bye now.
1796 01:40:32 Hey, middle-aged people.
1797 01:40:34 You thought this was over?
1798 01:40:37 You are wrong.
1799 01:40:41 It's time to boogie!
1800 01:40:54 - We keep going? A little more. - Yeah. Just a little more.
1801 01:41:33 It's getting hard to breath a little bit,
1802 01:41:34 but I'm gonna keep going.
1803 01:42:04 I don't have any sand in my mouth yet...
1804 01:42:06 - You don't? - Not yet.
1805 01:42:07 I can feel a little granules, like,
1806 01:42:09 - in between my teeth, like... - Your teeth? Oh!
1807 01:42:11 - I just got some. There you go. - Oh, there you go.
1808 01:42:53 Ah. Can we talk about horses now?
1809 01:42:56 Give it to me.
1810 01:44:20 Woo-hoo.
1811 01:44:33 My bad.
1812 01:46:36 There are good ships. And wood ships.
1813 01:46:38 And ships that sail the sea.
1814 01:46:40 But the best ships are friendships.
1815 01:46:42 And may they always be.
1816 01:46:45 I agree.