单身到底 Single All the Way(2021)(EN)Subtitles

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1 00:00:11 -[camera clicking]-[man] Perfect. Beautiful.
2 00:00:13 [man 2 laughs]
3 00:00:14 -[man] Nice, guys.-["Not Tonight Santa" playing]
4 00:00:16 [laughs]
5 00:00:18 [photographer] Yeah,get in even closer, you on the left. Nice.
6 00:00:24 [indistinct chattering]
7 00:00:26 Yes, guys. Nice. Beautiful.
8 00:00:28 -Get in even closer this way.-♪ No Santa this morning ♪
9 00:00:31 -♪ I guess my note got through… ♪-[photographer] Awesome.
10 00:00:36 Oh, I love it.
11 00:00:37 -This is so great! Really nice.-[photographer] Yeah.
12 00:00:41 Kyle, let's see a smile.[chuckles] All right. Good.
13 00:00:45 Adam?
14 00:00:46 Mm-hmm. Yeah?
15 00:00:48 Okay. Uh, hey, Peter?My clients are getting antsy.
16 00:00:51 Oh, it's a rough life for the Insta-gays.
17 00:00:53 -You've been on the set up for 45 minutes.-You know my boss.
18 00:00:57 Lachlan likes to haveall the options in every possible angle.
19 00:00:59 Okay. Well, I'll just tell himhe needs to trust you. Hey, Siri!
20 00:01:02 Whoa! Hey! No, no, no.
21 00:01:03 No. No. Don't do that.
22 00:01:05 Okay, now that you've shown your clients
23 00:01:06 that their big bad agenthas done his job, please let me do mine.
24 00:01:09 Hey, I know we all wanna getto Josh and Phillip's party,
25 00:01:12 and I promise we will get thereafter we get the shots.
26 00:01:15 Thank you. Looks great.
27 00:01:17 -You going with Nick?-Yes, and also with my boyfriend.
28 00:01:20 [camera shutter clicking]
29 00:01:21 Boyfriend?
30 00:01:23 -Okay, how long?-Three months and 22 days.
31 00:01:26 [chuckles] Okay, let me just put that into
32 00:01:28 the Guinness Bookof Peter Records. [chuckles]
33 00:01:30 -I hate you.-You love me.
34 00:01:32 -[sighs deeply]-♪ But I need Cupid more ♪
35 00:01:34 ♪ Than all the presentsThat I think I'm due ♪
36 00:01:38 ♪ Ooh, oohYou give me something I could never… ♪
37 00:01:41 Shoot went great.Yeah, got everything that we talked about.
38 00:01:45 Uh-huh, every shot on your list.
39 00:01:48 Yes, all the abs.
40 00:01:50 Hey, Lachlan, listen, uh, if I lose you,it's 'cause I'm going into a tunnel.
41 00:01:55 -[phone thuds]-[siren wailing in distance]
42 00:01:57 [exhales]
43 00:02:01 [clicks tongue] Ugh!
44 00:02:04 You looking a little sad today, Linda.
45 00:02:07 I think I know what this is about.
46 00:02:09 Just because I'm finally in a relationship
47 00:02:11 doesn't meanyou're any less important to me.
48 00:02:13 [sighs deeply]
49 00:02:15 You saved me when Zack broke my heart,changed my life forever.
50 00:02:20 If it weren't for you,I wouldn't have any of my other plants.
51 00:02:22 Ow! Ow!
52 00:02:24 [scoffs] Judith!
53 00:02:27 Don't be jealous.
54 00:02:28 -I love you too.-[dog barks]
55 00:02:31 Come here. [chuckles] Hi, Emmett.
56 00:02:33 [laughs] Yes, good boy.
57 00:02:35 Ooh, hey, boys.
58 00:02:37 -Get ready for the party.-I'm tired.
59 00:02:39 Maybe you shouldn't have acceptedso many TaskRabbits.
60 00:02:42 I don't accept TaskRabbits.I am the TaskRabbit.
61 00:02:44 I know how it works, Nick.
62 00:02:45 -Just get dressed.-You're going with your new man.
63 00:02:47 No, Tim can't come until later.I already told you this.
64 00:02:50 He has to be at the hospital until nine.None of this matters. You're coming.
65 00:02:53 -I don't have anything plaid.-Yes, you do because I knew you'd do this.
66 00:02:56 ♪ La-la-la-la-laLa-la-la-la-la ♪
67 00:02:59 -You officially know me too well.-♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪
68 00:03:02 I'm ordering the Uber.
69 00:03:03 -[party chattering]-♪ I hope you have a horrible Christmas ♪
70 00:03:07 -♪ I hope you have a nasty New Year… ♪-Thank you so much.
71 00:03:10 -[man] Peter.-Oh, you guys!
72 00:03:12 Mwah. Mwah.
73 00:03:14 This is wow! You have really outdoneyourselves this year.
74 00:03:19 Thank you. I did everything.
75 00:03:20 And by everything, he meansmicromanaging three event planners
76 00:03:23 and repeatedly threateningto sue them on Judge Judy.
77 00:03:26 [laughs]
78 00:03:27 -Oh, hi, Nick.-Hey!
79 00:03:29 -I got you a---Oh!
80 00:03:30 -So did I.-[both chuckle]
81 00:03:32 -[man] Wish I had a best friend like that.-You do. You have me.
82 00:03:36 -I don't see you bringing me drinks.-[scoffs]
83 00:03:38 -Bye, honey.-Bye.
84 00:03:41 -[exhales]-Well…
85 00:03:42 -Well, happy anniversary.-[chuckles]
86 00:03:45 To eight years.
87 00:03:46 Eight years of this party,but we've known each other nine.
88 00:03:48 Just took a year of social climbingto get the invite.
89 00:03:51 -I think you did most of the climbing.-I did. Thank you!
90 00:03:53 Ho-ho-hoes. Hey!
91 00:03:56 -Hey.-Hi, Adam.
92 00:03:57 [Peter] Wow,look at all this plaid perfection!
93 00:04:00 I'm glad we all made it.I know it was a long day…
94 00:04:02 Oh, babe, stop. I mean,it's not like you didn't pay us $15,000.
95 00:04:06 You got 15? Why didn't I get 15?
96 00:04:09 Oh, Max, baby, sweetie, honey,you know that Kyle was the original.
97 00:04:12 -And, uh---Ugh!
98 00:04:13 Oh.
99 00:04:15 Don't worry. She'll get over it.[inhales sharply] So, where's the guy?
100 00:04:18 [inhales] He's still at the hospital.He'll be here soon.
101 00:04:21 Oh my God! What happened?
102 00:04:22 -No, he works at a hospital.-Oh!
103 00:04:25 -He's a cardiologist.-[Adam] Oh.
104 00:04:26 He's, uh… right there.
105 00:04:36 What do I have to doto be cardiac arrested?
106 00:04:42 ♪ Dashing through the snow… ♪
107 00:04:46 [man] Do you want one with you in it?
108 00:04:48 -No, it's for my plant account.-Oh.
109 00:04:50 I keep my plant Instagramand my personal Instagram separate.
110 00:04:54 Plants aren't my real job, so…
111 00:04:55 Well, I love how much you love plants.
112 00:04:59 I love how much you love hearts.
113 00:05:03 [chuckles]It's kinda my job to love hearts.
114 00:05:05 Well, hopefully somedayit'll be my job to love plants.
115 00:05:09 I wishwe were spending Christmas together.
116 00:05:13 So do I.
117 00:05:15 -I'm excited to go home, though.-Yeah?
118 00:05:17 Yeah. Christmas is alwaysa big deal for my family.
119 00:05:19 And this year will be even better'cause I won't be the single one.
120 00:05:24 -Who's gonna be the single one?-No. I mean, I'm always the single one.
121 00:05:27 Every year, it's likeI'm this problem they all have to solve.
122 00:05:31 They can't understandwhy I haven't been in a relationship
123 00:05:34 more than a few months--
124 00:05:39 -Problem solved.-[chuckles]
125 00:05:41 Come home with me.
126 00:05:43 -Seriously?-Yeah.
127 00:05:45 You said you have a bunch of time off.
128 00:05:47 So… [chuckles]
129 00:05:48 …come to New Hampshire,meet my family. They'll love you.
130 00:05:53 I… would love to come home with you.
131 00:05:59 -Yeah?-Yeah.
132 00:06:00 Okay, good.
133 00:06:02 Let's deck the halls together.
134 00:06:04 -[chuckling]-[phone vibrates, chimes]
135 00:06:05 [whispering] I'm sorry. One second.
136 00:06:09 Oh, crap.The hospital needs me. I'm so sorry.
137 00:06:12 -No, it's okay. It's a sign.-[exhales]
138 00:06:15 It's meant to be. Go.
139 00:06:17 [chuckles] Go make more doctor moneyto pay for your plane ticket.
140 00:06:20 -[laughs]-[joyful Christmas music playing]
141 00:06:27 -[man over phone] Peter?-Hi, Dad.
142 00:06:28 Yes. Yes, it's me, since it said "Peter"on your screen when the phone rang,
143 00:06:32 and also you're looking at my face.
144 00:06:35 -I have you under "probably wants money."-I haven't asked you for money in years.
145 00:06:39 Why is that still my name on your phone?
146 00:06:40 Well, I wanted to change itto "the single one," but, uh--
147 00:06:43 [laughs ironically] Good one, Dad.
148 00:06:45 Anyway,I'm not calling about what to get you.
149 00:06:47 -I'm calling about what to get Mom.-Wine glasses. She broke two last night.
150 00:06:52 Two?
151 00:06:53 How?
152 00:06:55 Wine.
153 00:06:56 -Hi, Mom!-Hi, honey. Oh, I can't wait to see you.
154 00:07:00 I can't wait to see you too.Hey, what should I get for Dad?
155 00:07:03 -Nothing. He doesn't need anything.-[chuckles]
156 00:07:06 Honey, I think he's becomingone of those hoarders.
157 00:07:08 I swear. He won't throw anything out.
158 00:07:11 [gasps] I know.
159 00:07:12 Oh, get him one of those things.You know, those dumpster things.
160 00:07:15 What's that called?
161 00:07:16 Dumpster. It's a dumpster.
162 00:07:19 Yes! Get him one of those.
163 00:07:21 Well, you know whatMom and Lisa would love?
164 00:07:23 -What?-Gift sets from my new makeup line.
165 00:07:25 [gasps] What new makeup line?
166 00:07:27 It's organic. It's like all from the farm,which is what I'm calling it.
167 00:07:31 "Farm On My Face."
168 00:07:33 Oh, that sounds, um… I love it!
169 00:07:36 I want a Rolex.It doesn't have to be real.
170 00:07:39 Okay.
171 00:07:40 -Unless you want it to be.-[laughs]
172 00:07:41 No, but seriously, don't get me anything.Just bring you. I miss your stupid face.
173 00:07:46 I miss your stupid face.
174 00:07:48 But I'm not just bringing me,
175 00:07:52 I'm also bringing a surprise.
176 00:07:55 [squeals] Is it a person?
177 00:07:58 Maybe. Maybe not.
178 00:08:00 -Oh, so you are getting me a Rolex.-[chuckles]
179 00:08:07 [woman] We had a guywho did our lights for years, Carl,
180 00:08:10 and I've been calling himfor days with no answer,
181 00:08:12 until just this morning,his wife finally picked up
182 00:08:14 and told me he died,
183 00:08:15 hanging Christmas lights.
184 00:08:17 He fell onsomeone's roof and broke his neck.
185 00:08:19 I'm sorry to hear that.
186 00:08:21 Thank God I found you.
187 00:08:23 I had no ideaTaskRabbits did Christmas lights.
188 00:08:27 Oh, they should call you TaskElvesduring the holidays.
189 00:08:30 If it's okay, I'm gonna focus on this.You know, so I don't fall off your roof.
190 00:08:33 Oh, here's my husband.
191 00:08:35 -We'll leave you alone.-[car door opens]
192 00:08:37 -[husband] Is that Carl?-No. He's with TaskRabbit. Carl died.
193 00:08:40 But this guy is great. This isthe fourth house he's done this week.
194 00:08:43 Oh, looks great.
195 00:08:44 [sad music plays]
196 00:08:48 [Peter] No! You're married!
197 00:08:49 You're a liar and a cheater.
198 00:08:52 You've been lying to mefor almost four months,
199 00:08:54 and to your wife for however many years,
200 00:08:56 and to yourself for--
201 00:08:58 No. You know what? I'm not gonna judgewhatever journey you're on.
202 00:09:01 I-- It's not what I'm looking for,
203 00:09:02 and I hope that you never do itto anybody else ever again. [inhales]
204 00:09:05 -[phone clatters]-[Peter exhales]
205 00:09:07 -I didn't wanna tell you, but…-[smacks lips] You had to.
206 00:09:10 [sighs deeply]
207 00:09:14 -[emotional music playing]-Well, Linda, here we are again.
208 00:09:18 You knowyou're a Chinese money plant, right?
209 00:09:22 You're supposed to bring me luck.
210 00:09:26 [exhales]
211 00:09:29 [music continues]
212 00:09:41 [exhales]
213 00:09:42 Hey. How long are you going home for?
214 00:09:45 Ten days.
215 00:09:47 So maybeyou don't need that tower of sweaters?
216 00:09:49 [exhales] Maybe I'll just stay thereand never come back.
217 00:09:53 Mm, because Bridgewater, New Hampshire,population 36,
218 00:09:56 has a huge buffet of single gay men.
219 00:09:58 The all-you-can-eat buffet in Los Angeleshas served me nothing but 7 heartbreaks,
220 00:10:03 a mountain of therapy debt,and a chipped tooth.
221 00:10:06 Chipped tooth was your fault.
222 00:10:08 I was running away from the guythat faked that he had cancer.
223 00:10:11 Maybe it's not L.A.Maybe you choose the wrong guys.
224 00:10:14 Fine! I'll date no one,
225 00:10:16 but I'll be close to my family,I'll open my plant store,
226 00:10:19 I'll be a guncle,and a plant lady forever.
227 00:10:24 [exhales] Actually sounds perfect.
228 00:10:25 And plants don't cheat. [scoffs]I think you should come home with me.
229 00:10:29 We can pretend we fell in loveafter all these years.
230 00:10:31 [laughs]
231 00:10:34 Wait, hold on.
232 00:10:36 Hold up. Hold up. Actually, that's good.Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. Wait, wait.
233 00:10:39 -Oh, you're funny.-It would solve everything.
234 00:10:42 I can temporarily burythe pain of my pathetic love life,
235 00:10:45 while also showing my familythat I'm not a mental case
236 00:10:48 who has no abilityto be in a relationship.
237 00:10:50 -By lying to them the whole time.-Yes!
238 00:10:53 It'll be so easy.
239 00:10:54 My family already askswhy we're not just together.
240 00:10:57 Oh, all straight people ask thatabout gay friends.
241 00:11:00 I mean, besides I stocked upfor my first holiday staycation.
242 00:11:03 Your first solo holiday staycation.
243 00:11:05 I love a solo holiday staycation.
244 00:11:08 You've never donea solo holiday staycation.
245 00:11:10 You've always had a boyfriend. Come on.
246 00:11:15 -Hmm.-Come home with me.
247 00:11:17 You don't wanna spend Christmasall by yourself.
248 00:11:20 I won't be by myself. I have Emmett,and an endless stream of TaskRabbit jobs,
249 00:11:24 which is all about helping people,which brings me joy.
250 00:11:26 And if that isn't theChristmas spirit, I don't know what is.
251 00:11:29 Nick, I don't want youto be here all by yourself,
252 00:11:31 reminiscing about the great Christmasesyou had with your mom as a kid.
253 00:11:36 I know she'll alwaysbe in your heart, but…
254 00:11:40 you shouldn't be alonewith those feelings at Christmas.
255 00:11:45 [exhales]
256 00:11:47 You want me to buy a plane ticketleaving tomorrow?
257 00:11:49 I mean,do you know how expensive that'll be?
258 00:11:52 Nick!
259 00:11:54 -[scoffs]-You have Saving Emmett money.
260 00:11:56 [groans]
261 00:11:58 Yes, thank you!
262 00:12:00 And you'll have even more moneywhen you finish writing the sequel,
263 00:12:03 which you really have to startbefore you can finish.
264 00:12:05 Well, what if it's not as goodas the first one?
265 00:12:07 -Nick, it's a children's book about a dog.-[groans]
266 00:12:11 Sorry, Emmett. [chuckles]I didn't mean it like that.
267 00:12:14 It's a lot to live up to.You wrote such a good book.
268 00:12:16 Because you… [inhales sharply]…are such a good writer.
269 00:12:19 So good, that the first book you wrotebecame a bestseller,
270 00:12:22 and now you have all this money
271 00:12:23 that you're savingfor a rainy day and… [gasps]
272 00:12:25 …look…
273 00:12:28 it's pouring.
274 00:12:29 -All right.-[gasps] Thank you! Thank you, thank you.
275 00:12:33 -But we're not doing the boyfriend thing.-Yeah, we are. [chuckles]
276 00:12:35 It's the greatest presentI could possibly give my parents.
277 00:12:38 ["Happy Holiday/The Holiday Season" plays]
278 00:12:40 [exhales]
279 00:12:42 Change of plans, buddy.
280 00:12:44 You get to spend Christmasat the doggy hotel.
281 00:12:46 ♪ Happy holiday ♪
282 00:12:49 ♪ Happy holiday ♪
283 00:12:52 ♪ While the merry bells… ♪
284 00:12:54 It needs to be a momentin front of the whole family.
285 00:12:56 I wanna see everyone's facewhen we tell them.
286 00:12:58 And when will that be?
287 00:12:59 Everyone's coming over for dinner tonight.I think we do it then.
288 00:13:02 -How much does your mom know?-Nothing yet.
289 00:13:05 -[Nick] You didn't tell her I'm coming?-She knows that. She's very excited.
290 00:13:10 [Nick] She didn't ask whyI'm randomly coming at the last minute?
291 00:13:12 [Peter] What? No! No.
292 00:13:14 You're family. You don't need a reason.
293 00:13:20 [horn honking]
294 00:13:22 [Nick] Oh my God!
295 00:13:23 Do you think she Googled"funny, gay Christmas signs?"
296 00:13:25 Yes, and then she made thatin her crafting room.
297 00:13:28 -[laughs] What, Sleigh Queen Carole?-You have to call her Christmas Carole.
298 00:13:32 She insists on being calledChristmas Carole for all of December.
299 00:13:34 How did I not know your momhad a holiday-specific drag name?
300 00:13:37 Because you've never been herefor Christmas before.
301 00:13:40 [chuckles]
302 00:13:41 [Peter] Mom?
303 00:13:43 -[car door shuts]-[giggling] Mom! Mom!
304 00:13:46 [Carole] My baby! Oh!
305 00:13:48 [Peter chuckles]
306 00:13:50 -[Carole] Oh, I missed you so much.-[groans]
307 00:13:54 -Welcome home, handsome.-Aw…
308 00:13:56 Christmas Carole?
309 00:13:58 -Saint Nick.-[laughing]
310 00:14:03 I'm so happy right now.Do you love my antlers?
311 00:14:07 -So much!-[Nick laughs]
312 00:14:08 -Your dad said they were corny.-What?
313 00:14:10 Ah, he's corny.
314 00:14:11 -They're supposed to be corny.-Good corny.
315 00:14:13 Exactly!
316 00:14:14 You know what, he can freeze his ears off,but we don't have to because…
317 00:14:19 -Oh.-You get a pair and you get a pair.
318 00:14:22 And you get a pair and you-- Who am I?
319 00:14:24 -Oprah.-Oprah.
320 00:14:25 Oh, right, yeah.Of course, you guys knew that.
321 00:14:28 -Come on!-We'll get our bags. We'll get our bags.
322 00:14:32 So, Peter, my love, you told Lisa thatyou were bringing home a surprise,
323 00:14:37 and we thought maybeyou were bringing a boyfriend.
324 00:14:41 But thank God you didn't,'cause you would have totally ruined it.
325 00:14:45 -Ruined what?-Hmm…
326 00:14:47 I thinkCarole has something up her sleeve.
327 00:14:51 -Christmas Carole.-Thank you.
328 00:14:53 [smacks lips] Well,my early Christmas present for you is…
329 00:14:58 a blind date.
330 00:15:00 -[whimpers]-His name is James.
331 00:15:02 He's really cute. He's about your age.I really think you're gonna like him.
332 00:15:05 No! No, I'm not going on a--
333 00:15:08 You're not going anywhereuntil I get a proper hug.
334 00:15:12 [chuckling] Hi, Dad.
335 00:15:14 -Oh, I'm glad you're home, son.-[Peter] Aw.
336 00:15:17 -Nicholas, it's always good to see you.-[chuckling] You too, Harold.
337 00:15:23 Okay, you can go. Where are you going?
338 00:15:25 -He's going on a blind date.-No, I'm not.
339 00:15:27 -Yes, he is.-[Peter] No. No, he's not.
340 00:15:29 How is there even a single,"single" gay man in this town?
341 00:15:34 -Why wouldn't there be? You two are here.-But why is he here?
342 00:15:37 That’s a great questionfor you to ask on your first date!
343 00:15:40 [chuckles]
344 00:15:41 I love it.
345 00:15:42 -[Carole] He loves it.-You’re going.
346 00:15:44 -You’re going.-Nick!
347 00:15:47 I just wanted to say,
348 00:15:48 thank you, for allowing meto do a last-minute Christmas crash. It--
349 00:15:53 [Harold] Are you kidding? I’m thrilled!
350 00:15:55 But you're gonna have to excuse me becausewe have a leaky pipe in the basement,
351 00:16:00 and I can’t seem to fix it,so I'm just gonna have to call a plumber.
352 00:16:04 Well, why don't you let me try and fix it?
353 00:16:06 No… No, are you sure?
354 00:16:11 Oh gosh, I hadn’t thought of that.Of course, I thought of that,
355 00:16:15 but Carole said I shouldn't ask youbecause you're our guest.
356 00:16:17 A guest.
357 00:16:18 But I hate this plumber.
358 00:16:20 He overcharges,and he smells like roast beef.
359 00:16:23 So, screw him!
360 00:16:24 We've got our own Handy Bunny right here!
361 00:16:26 -[titters]-[chuckles]
362 00:16:28 TaskRabbit, Dad.TaskRabbit. He’s a Tasker.
363 00:16:31 -Rabbit?-[Peter] Yep.
364 00:16:32 And I’m a little bit offended. How comeyou didn’t ask me to fix your pipe?
365 00:16:35 -Uh-huh.-[Carole] Oh well…
366 00:16:37 -[Peter] Okay.-Sweetie. [chuckles]
367 00:16:39 [scoffs] Okay, I didn't wanna fixyour stupid pipe anyway. Go. Go.
368 00:16:43 -Go help him.-[Harold] Come on, let's go.
369 00:16:45 Honey, you’re very talented.You're good at so many things--
370 00:16:48 Oh, like, like fixing my poinsettias.
371 00:16:50 Oh, look how sad they are.
372 00:16:54 -[scoffs]-What?
373 00:16:57 [Peter] Oh…
374 00:16:58 Go ahead. I'm sure you'll do your magic.
375 00:17:00 I'll try, but only if you dropthis whole blind-date thing.
376 00:17:04 No, Peter, come on.
377 00:17:06 [chuckling] I don't even live here.
378 00:17:08 I know it,but wouldn’t it be great if you did?
379 00:17:10 Okay, so that’s what this is about.
380 00:17:12 It would be a bonus.
381 00:17:14 We only get to seeyour face once or twice a year.
382 00:17:17 Yes, which is exactly why I’m here,to spend time with my family.
383 00:17:21 Well, and your family really wants youto have a relationship.
384 00:17:24 I'm just saying.
385 00:17:25 [chuckling] Yes, I know!That’s very clear!
386 00:17:30 -Why do you avoid love?-Okay, stop. I don't… I'm not…
387 00:17:33 I'm not avoiding love.
388 00:17:35 I'm just avoiding gettingset up on a blind date by…
389 00:17:38 -Your mother?-[chuckling] Right.
390 00:17:39 What's w-- [gasps] You don't trust me?
391 00:17:42 Not with this, no.
392 00:17:44 Just because you happento meet a gay guy, doesn’t mean
393 00:17:46 you have to set me up with them.
394 00:17:48 It doesn't mean that we'd be… You know…
395 00:17:50 You’ve told me that millions of timeswhen I've asked why you weren’t with Nick,
396 00:17:54 but I understand much better now.
397 00:17:56 I'm reading this great book.It's called Loving Your LGBTT Child.
398 00:17:59 [chuckles] I think you mean LGBTQ.
399 00:18:01 Yeah. Whatever. Do I?Yeah. Sure, that's it! Yes!
400 00:18:04 And it's great.
401 00:18:05 It talks all about gay friendships,and it says, just what you said,
402 00:18:08 "Much like a man and a woman don't haveto have a romantic relationship,
403 00:18:12 a man and man don't have to."
404 00:18:14 -Exactly.-Mm.
405 00:18:16 But you never know! [clicks tongue]
406 00:18:18 You know, it's not every daythat you meet a gay handyman.
407 00:18:20 How did you learnhow to do all this stuff?
408 00:18:22 [grunts, sighs]
409 00:18:24 On YouTube and HGTV.
410 00:18:26 Oh. What is that?A Homosexual Gay network?
411 00:18:30 [chuckles] Basically.
412 00:18:31 Oh. I'll check it out. HGTV.
413 00:18:35 It's not porn, is it?
414 00:18:38 Kind of.
415 00:18:39 But, honey, I really do thinkthis James guy is great.
416 00:18:43 He’s a new trainer at my gym.
417 00:18:45 And he came in,all the girls went crazy for him.
418 00:18:48 And then, of course,he told us he was gay. [chuckles]
419 00:18:50 Audrey was devastated,but I thought, "Gay? I know gay."
420 00:18:54 And so, I told him all about you,I did, and I showed him your picture,
421 00:18:58 and he thought you were really cute,and he would love to meet you.
422 00:19:01 [sighs deeply]
423 00:19:04 Show me his picture.
424 00:19:05 -Really? Okay.-Yeah.
425 00:19:07 Wait. Wait, how--Where would I find a picture?
426 00:19:10 I don't have a picture of him.
427 00:19:11 You don't have a picture?You showed him my picture.
428 00:19:14 Well, I know, because I havea hundred pictures of you in my phone.
429 00:19:17 I don't have any pictures of him.
430 00:19:18 I just met--That would be weird. That's creepy.
431 00:19:21 -[chuckles]-Oh, maybe he's on Facebook.
432 00:19:23 Honey, how do I do it?How do I get into Facebook again?
433 00:19:25 -Oh my God, Mom.-Oh wait, there it is. Okay.
434 00:19:28 Oh, look at that, sweetheart. [chuckles]
435 00:19:31 Look, it's a canary and a German Shepherd,and they're besties.
436 00:19:34 -Look! They're doing the Macarena.-[Peter] Wow.
437 00:19:39 I can't believe Christmas Caroletook down all your Britney posters.
438 00:19:43 I can’t believe you endedour relationship without consulting me.
439 00:19:45 Our relationshiphadn’t officially started, so--
440 00:19:48 [Peter] Yes, it had!
441 00:19:49 In our agreed-upon fictional backstory,it absolutely had.
442 00:19:52 And then you went and endorsed the ideaof me going on a blind date,
443 00:19:57 as if we were looking for a third.
444 00:20:00 It’s one date.
445 00:20:01 Exactly.
446 00:20:02 It's one date.
447 00:20:03 One date is notthe same thing as a relationship.
448 00:20:06 And a blind datehas almost zero chance of working out,
449 00:20:10 and I’ll still be single,and it'll somehow all be my fault,
450 00:20:13 and it's all anybodywill talk about for the entire vacation.
451 00:20:17 [Peter sighs]
452 00:20:19 Do you know how excited I wasto bring Tim home to meet my family?
453 00:20:22 Yes.
454 00:20:24 I’m sorry.
455 00:20:25 But look at it this way,
456 00:20:27 at least you don’t have to callyour mom in a month and explain to her
457 00:20:30 that the guy that you brought homefor Christmas is, oops, married,
458 00:20:33 to a woman, with kids.
459 00:20:34 And now I don’t have to lieto your family for ten days straight.
460 00:20:40 -You are the worst fake boyfriend.-[door closes downstairs]
461 00:20:44 [Lisa] Don't get too excited!It's just me, your favorite sister.
462 00:20:48 Where are you? Get down here.I need to see your stupid face.
463 00:20:53 -[chuckling] Hey.-[squealing]
464 00:20:55 -Oh…-[chuckles]
465 00:20:56 [vocalizing]
466 00:20:59 -Bop!-[laughs]
467 00:21:01 -[Peter] Aw…[squealing] Uncle Peter.
468 00:21:03 Hi.
469 00:21:05 You know what?
470 00:21:06 I got one of those memory thingson my phone the other day
471 00:21:09 from that night that you guystook me out in West Hollywood
472 00:21:11 and made me get on that barwith all those shirtless cowboys.
473 00:21:14 "Made" you. Mm…
474 00:21:15 -Mom!-Mom!
475 00:21:17 What?
476 00:21:18 [whining] Am I not allowedto have a good time?
477 00:21:20 I never get out.
478 00:21:21 -[scoffs] Lisa, we literally own a bar.-We own a pub, Tony.
479 00:21:24 -It's not the same thing. [chuckles]-[Tony groans]
480 00:21:27 [Carole] Leese,I need help with the chicken!
481 00:21:32 [chuckles] Hi.
482 00:21:33 -[girl] Hi, Nick.-Aw…
483 00:21:34 Bring it in. It's so good to see you.Merry Christmas.
484 00:21:37 -Both of you.-[Nick chuckles]
485 00:21:40 -Hi.-They were gay shirtless cowboys, right?
486 00:21:43 -[Carole] Tony!-Very.
487 00:21:44 -Super gay.-[Carole] Tony, you need to come help me…
488 00:21:46 Coming, Carole!
489 00:21:47 Oh! Hi!
490 00:21:50 -[squeals, laughs]-Hi! [gasps]
491 00:21:53 Hi!
492 00:21:55 Sam, Simon, you both got nine feet tallerthan the last time I saw you.
493 00:22:00 Boys look who else is here!Do you remember Nick?
494 00:22:02 Nick is your Uncle Peter’s roommate,
495 00:22:04 but he also wrote your favorite book
496 00:22:07 that we used to readevery night before bed.
497 00:22:10 -Saving Emmett?-Yes, Saving Emmett!
498 00:22:12 Is Emmett your real dog?
499 00:22:14 -Yes, he is.-So where is he?
500 00:22:16 He wanted to come,but he’s afraid of flying
501 00:22:18 so he’s home in California,but he’s very happy
502 00:22:21 because he’s withall his doggie friends at the hotel.
503 00:22:24 But what if he thinks you left him forever
504 00:22:26 like the first people didbefore you saved him?
505 00:22:30 -Okay. Come on, let's say hi to Grandma.-[whispering] He's so big.
506 00:22:33 -So, how was the trip?-It was great! Merry Christmas.
507 00:22:36 You kids don’t realizehow good you have it.
508 00:22:38 The first timeAunt Sandy directed the pageant,
509 00:22:41 it was totally bonkers.
510 00:22:42 Okay, Mom, we've heard the storya million times.
511 00:22:45 Yeah, okay, well, Nick hasn’t.
512 00:22:46 So you don’t have to listen,and you can just sit there.
513 00:22:50 Anyhoo…
514 00:22:51 -[all chuckle]-Aunt Sandy had just moved back here
515 00:22:53 from New York City,where she had an acting career.
516 00:22:56 Well, "career" is generous,but no, no, go ahead. Go ahead.
517 00:22:59 -She was in a Broadway show.-It was Off-Broadway.
518 00:23:02 It was Little Shop of Horrors, right?She was Audrey.
519 00:23:04 She was the understudy to Audrey.
520 00:23:06 Oh my God, Grandma, I love you.
521 00:23:09 I cannot tell a lie.
522 00:23:10 So anyways,
523 00:23:11 Aunt Sandy made me, and Uncle Peterand Aunt Ashleigh be in the pageant,
524 00:23:15 just like she’s making you kids do,except our script,
525 00:23:19 Aunt Sandy wrote herself.
526 00:23:21 It took place backstage at the pageant.
527 00:23:24 It was like a play within a play.
528 00:23:27 So,all four of you kids are in the pageant?
529 00:23:29 But we need to get out of it.
530 00:23:31 -[woman singing] ♪ Joy to the world ♪-[gasping]
531 00:23:34 -♪ The Lord is come ♪-[indistinct chattering]
532 00:23:37 ♪ Let earth receive her King ♪
533 00:23:47 -Oh my gosh!-[mouthing]
534 00:23:48 I'm so sorry,everybody, I'm so sorry, I'm late!
535 00:23:51 I was going overtomorrow’s rehearsal schedule and…
536 00:23:54 and all of suddenI got terribly distracted because
537 00:23:56 out of nowhere Whitney Houston’sversion of "Joy to the World" came on
538 00:24:01 and that's--It's the greatest version ever.
539 00:24:04 I love that version. You bring dessert?
540 00:24:05 And then I just started singing along,then all of a sudden, I thought,
541 00:24:09 "Oh my God, Sandy,you're having an epiphany."
542 00:24:13 "'Joy to the World'needs to be in your show!"
543 00:24:16 Well, yes.
544 00:24:17 Because it's so spectacular.It's got everything in it.
545 00:24:20 It's got the King, the Savior,the Glory, and the Born.
546 00:24:24 The Born.
547 00:24:25 I've got so much to do before this show,but I… I had to come here because
548 00:24:28 you're my first Joseph.
549 00:24:30 -I love you, I really do. I do.-I love you too.
550 00:24:34 Oh my, my, my.
551 00:24:37 Well, well…
552 00:24:40 What a handsome new boyfriend.
553 00:24:43 No. No. [chuckles]
554 00:24:44 Uh, no, this is my handsome roommateand oldest friend Nick.
555 00:24:48 Hi.
556 00:24:49 But he might have a boyfriend tomorrow!
557 00:24:52 -Mom, Mom, can we not do this right now?-What? What? What's tomorrow?
558 00:24:56 Well, he’s going on a date.
559 00:24:57 Wha--
560 00:24:59 -Like, from Grindr?-No.
561 00:25:01 Oh my God.
562 00:25:02 No, like from Mom.
563 00:25:03 What?
564 00:25:04 Well, I'm sorry.I didn't want to tell everybody.
565 00:25:06 I thought you'd ruin it.He might not get on the plane.
566 00:25:09 -[screams] Oh my God!-Okay. Wow.
567 00:25:11 Okay. Thank you.
568 00:25:12 Hey, congratulations.
569 00:25:14 -Yay!-Okay. Okay. [chuckles]
570 00:25:17 -Thank you all. Thank you so much!-I'm sorry.
571 00:25:19 -I think they should be together.-Yes, same.
572 00:25:22 -Let's discuss that later.-[chattering]
573 00:25:24 Okay, can we please stop clappingfor the relationship you've decided I'm in
574 00:25:27 with the personthat I have not even met yet.
575 00:25:29 Okay, you're all gonna jinx it!
576 00:25:32 So, who wants to seemy new Christmas tree?
577 00:25:36 [giggling]
578 00:25:37 Oh…
579 00:25:38 -[Carole] What?-[Peter] No…
580 00:25:40 Mom, a fake white tree?
581 00:25:43 Yes, I love it.
582 00:25:44 I mean,you all can want, like, a real tree,
583 00:25:46 but I’m the onewho has to clean up the needles.
584 00:25:49 I love it. Nick loves it, don’t you--Nick, don't you love it?
585 00:25:54 It-- Yes!
586 00:25:55 -[Carole] See?-[scoffs]
587 00:25:56 Well… [scoffs]…where are all the family ornaments?
588 00:25:59 She probably gave them awaywith Sam and Simon's toys
589 00:26:02 I did not.
590 00:26:04 I think it is so cool and so modern.
591 00:26:06 And you know what?
592 00:26:07 These gorgeous stars came with the trees,
593 00:26:10 I love them.
594 00:26:11 I do too.
595 00:26:14 Give.
596 00:26:15 [gasps] Oh…
597 00:26:20 You're such a thief. [scoffs]
598 00:26:24 -[continuous rapid knocking]-[gasps]
599 00:26:29 Stop!
600 00:26:33 [Peter grunts]
601 00:26:36 -[Nick] Time to get up.-Thanks, Alexa, but I didn’t set an alarm.
602 00:26:39 Your mom promised to kill me
603 00:26:40 if I didn’t wake youin time for your date.
604 00:26:42 It's not until one o'clock,after her spin class.
605 00:26:45 Yeah, she’s at the class.It’s noon. You have jet lag.
606 00:26:49 Well… [scoffs]
607 00:26:51 How come you're so perky?
608 00:26:52 Well, so much coffee. [chuckles]
609 00:26:54 I noticed your dad only finished doingthe lights on the bottom half of the house
610 00:26:58 so I wanted to get upand finish it for him.
611 00:27:00 You don't have to impress my family.
612 00:27:03 I know I don’t, but I wanted to do it.And I’m good at it.
613 00:27:06 And I’m having fun.
614 00:27:08 But not as much fun asyou’re about to have on this blind date.
615 00:27:11 Okay. Thank you.
616 00:27:12 Okay. Well, get dressed and get cute.
617 00:27:15 You're such a pusher.
618 00:27:17 -Don that gay apparel.-Shut up.
619 00:27:21 [exhales]
620 00:27:30 [upbeat music playing]
621 00:27:36 -No, no. No!-[message alerts beeping]
622 00:27:38 [gym instructor speaks indistinctly]
623 00:27:41 -I hate you so much.-[message alerts beeping]
624 00:27:45 It… it flames,flames, on the side of my face…
625 00:27:50 [gym instructor] Good.
626 00:27:52 -[applauding]-[Peter] Well… Okay.
627 00:27:54 Oh! [chuckles]
628 00:27:55 [indistinct chattering]
629 00:27:58 I don't think he's really gay.There's no way.
630 00:28:00 [gasps] You came.
631 00:28:02 You woke up.
632 00:28:04 Yes, hi. Yes, I woke up.
633 00:28:05 [techno music playing, intensifying]
634 00:28:13 So, this is James who I told you about,
635 00:28:15 and this is my perfect son, Peter,who I told you about, obviously.
636 00:28:19 So, yeah… [chuckles] He's an Aquarius, so…
637 00:28:21 So, what happens now?
638 00:28:23 -Great to meet you.-You too.
639 00:28:25 I, uh, was thinking we could graba cup of coffee.
640 00:28:28 We don’t have Starbucks here,
641 00:28:29 but there’s this cute little placeowned by Mrs. Claus,
642 00:28:32 and she makes a mean peppermint latte.
643 00:28:34 Oh, well, it’s about timeMrs. Claus branched out on her own.
644 00:28:38 [all chuckle]
645 00:28:39 Isn't he funny?He's funny too. Very, very smart.
646 00:28:41 Yeah. And so handsome.
647 00:28:44 [James] Your mom is the best.Talks about you all the time.
648 00:28:46 -I’m sure she does. I'm sorry about that.-No, no, it's all good things.
649 00:28:49 You probably thought you were goingon a date with the hottest, smartest,
650 00:28:52 funniest, coolest,most interesting person who was ever born.
651 00:28:56 Maybe I am.
652 00:28:57 -Oh!-Mm.
653 00:28:59 I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
654 00:29:00 No, I think that was my fault.
655 00:29:02 And now you know I'm not the coolest,so we got that out of the way.
656 00:29:06 [clears throat]So, um, why are you living in this town?
657 00:29:11 -Uh, oh, uh---Sorry, that sounded…
658 00:29:14 No! No, that's a fair question.
659 00:29:16 Last year I got a jobas a ski instructor at Eagle Hill.
660 00:29:18 Oh, I used to ski Eagle Hillall the time growing up.
661 00:29:21 I was teaching there last season andloved it, because, you know, free skiing.
662 00:29:25 But I was shuttling back and forthto Boston weekly for my regular gym job,
663 00:29:29 and that got old real fast.
664 00:29:31 So this year I decided to move upfor the season.
665 00:29:34 Found a sublet, got the job at thespinning studio, and I ski a lot more.
666 00:29:37 Wow. A ski instructor and trainer of momsin a wintry Christmas village.
667 00:29:43 I love it up here.
668 00:29:44 But what about…
669 00:29:46 -Ah, yeah, the, uh…-[scoffs]
670 00:29:48 …gay dating app radius is kind of a joke,
671 00:29:50 especially when it snows.
672 00:29:52 -It snows all the time.-All the time.
673 00:29:57 And magically here you are.
674 00:30:01 Here I am.
675 00:30:02 -[coughs]-Oh! Oh!
676 00:30:04 -Let me… Let me get you a clean one.-Oh, thank you.
677 00:30:08 [Peter clears throat]
678 00:30:12 Real Christmas trees.
679 00:30:14 Hmm.
680 00:30:16 -Flip it around.-[James] Yeah.
681 00:30:19 -Are you okay?-Yeah, I got it.
682 00:30:20 Getting these branches here.
683 00:30:22 -Okay. That's fine.-Yeah.
684 00:30:26 -Did we do it?-I think we did.
685 00:30:29 Except you won’t be able to drive.
686 00:30:31 [chuckles]Can’t we just pull it back towards us?
687 00:30:33 -Yeah, sure.-Okay.
688 00:30:37 [Peter grunts]
689 00:30:38 -Oh! Okay.-Yeah.
690 00:30:40 -Yeah.-[chuckles]
691 00:30:41 -Hey!-Okay.
692 00:30:46 -[sighs]-[chuckles]
693 00:30:48 Well, should we ask Mrs. Claus?
694 00:30:51 Ah, she's busy, and you did tell meyou know what you're doing.
695 00:30:55 -I said that to impress you.-[both laugh]
696 00:30:57 [message alert bleeps]
697 00:31:01 You got me a down vest.
698 00:31:03 Merry Christmas.
699 00:31:04 Thank you.
700 00:31:05 Aren’t y’all breaking the rules?
701 00:31:07 I thought the whole point of thiswas to keep presents a secret.
702 00:31:11 Rules are meant to be broken,especially when it comes to insane rules
703 00:31:14 that make zero sense. [chuckles]
704 00:31:17 Why are we all in separate rooms
705 00:31:19 wrapping our giftsat the same time at our mother's house?
706 00:31:22 Because that's what we didwhen we were kids.
707 00:31:24 [chuckles] But now we’re grown-upswith our own houses,
708 00:31:28 so you’re wondering,
709 00:31:30 "Why do they stillhave to wrap them here?"
710 00:31:32 Great question, Nick.
711 00:31:34 And the non-answer answerto that is because
712 00:31:36 this is the "Annual Harrison FamilySecret Wrapping Party,"
713 00:31:41 courtesy of Christmas Carole.
714 00:31:42 -[clears throat]-Do we need wine?
715 00:31:44 -Yes, wine.-We definitely do.
716 00:31:46 Oh, Nick! Nick!
717 00:31:47 Could you find outwhat my mother is getting me?
718 00:31:50 And if it’s another oneof her stupid signs,
719 00:31:53 tell her I'd like cash instead.
720 00:31:55 [Tony chuckles]
721 00:31:57 -Okay.-Okay.
722 00:32:00 -Hey, Christmas Carole---[gasps]
723 00:32:01 Oh, I think I just peed a little bit.
724 00:32:03 Oh! [chuckles]
725 00:32:04 I thought you were Peter.I’m wrapping his gift!
726 00:32:07 -Can I see what you’re giving him?-Yeah, you promise not to tell?
727 00:32:11 Ta-da!
728 00:32:12 "Bloom where you are planted." [chuckles]
729 00:32:16 -[chuckling]-Oh, I love that.
730 00:32:17 I know! I love it too.
731 00:32:19 Oh, do you wanna seethe one I made for Lisa?
732 00:32:21 -Yes.-Ready?
733 00:32:29 You know, she actually, um…
734 00:32:32 -What, honey?-She sent me to get wine.
735 00:32:36 Oh, uh, we're out. I'll go get more.
736 00:32:39 [Nick] I got you. I just need your car.
737 00:32:47 [Peter] Well, I think we did it.Can I give you a ride home?
738 00:32:50 -You think I’m getting in that death trap?-[laughs]
739 00:32:53 I live a block away. I can walk.
740 00:32:55 But, uh…
741 00:32:58 I had fun.
742 00:32:59 So did I.
743 00:33:01 Yeah.
744 00:33:05 Bye.
745 00:33:06 Bye. Careful.
746 00:33:07 -Oh!-It's icy.
747 00:33:10 Sh-- Mm.
748 00:33:44 -[bottles clink]-Oh!
749 00:33:46 -Oh!-Oh!
750 00:33:48 -Hi.-Hi.
751 00:33:50 Uh-oh. Is my familyalready driving you that crazy?
752 00:33:52 Not at all. We’re having a blast.
753 00:33:54 We ran out of wine midway throughyour nutty present-wrapping thing.
754 00:33:57 For which wine is definitely required.
755 00:33:59 And you? Was the date that bad?
756 00:34:02 No. No, uh, I just thought thatif I showed up with wine for my mom
757 00:34:06 it'd soften the blow of the realChristmas tree I’m also showing up with.
758 00:34:10 -You got a Christmas tree on your date?-On the second half of the date.
759 00:34:13 On the second half of your date?
760 00:34:17 -That sounds promising.-It’s not promising.
761 00:34:19 -It's not promising?-It’s not, not promising. Shut up!
762 00:34:22 Well, if you didn’t like him,you'd be telling me right now.
763 00:34:25 -But we both know I like the wrong guys.-So you do like him.
764 00:34:28 [chuckling] I didn’t
765 00:34:29 have a bad time.
766 00:34:32 -Why are you being weird?-I’m not being weird. You're being weird.
767 00:34:36 I just-- [chuckles]
768 00:34:37 I didn't think thatthis is what I'd be doing this week.
769 00:34:40 Yeah, neither did I.
770 00:34:41 And as your fake boyfriend,
771 00:34:43 I’m not sure how I feel about yougoing on dates with other people.
772 00:34:45 You asked for it!
773 00:34:48 Well,Christmas Carole will be very excited.
774 00:34:51 -Perfect.-[gasps]
775 00:34:52 Shh! I got a new Christmas tree.
776 00:34:55 -Yay!-[Peter] Shh!
777 00:34:56 Nick’s gonna ask dad if we still havethe old Christmas tree stand.
778 00:34:59 Tony, I need your muscles.Got a big tree to move.
779 00:35:01 Leese, distract momuntil we can make the switch.
780 00:35:04 Mom, I hope you’re sitting down.I have the craziest story to tell you.
781 00:35:08 Remember in grade sevenwhen Troy M. farted on me?
782 00:35:11 [indistinct chattering]
783 00:35:14 [Harold] Yeah, it is.
784 00:35:15 What's going on?
785 00:35:16 [screaming]
786 00:35:18 I had to pee! Sorry.
787 00:35:20 What is happening?
788 00:35:22 [Peter] This is all me.
789 00:35:24 I think that Christmas treesshould smell like Christmas trees
790 00:35:27 and be, you know, green.
791 00:35:29 I'll take care of everything,change the water, clean up the needles,
792 00:35:32 and you should know that I got the treeon my date with James,
793 00:35:36 and the date went well.
794 00:35:38 And… And actually,James picked the tree out himself.
795 00:35:42 Oh! [gasps]
796 00:35:43 Oh, I'm so happy! That is so great!
797 00:35:46 I can't tell you how happy that makes me!
798 00:35:49 I think you’re making that pretty clear.
799 00:35:51 [gasps] And then maybe…maybe you’ll move home!
800 00:35:53 [cheering]
801 00:35:54 All right. Okay. It was one date.
802 00:35:57 [phone vibrates]
803 00:35:59 [phone vibrates]
804 00:36:03 What? It's a text.
805 00:36:04 Uh, maybe it's him.
806 00:36:05 It could be anyone. It's probably work.
807 00:36:08 -[phone vibrates]-[whispering] Pick it up.
808 00:36:10 -Well, check.-[scoffs]
809 00:36:13 All right.
810 00:36:17 James wants to knowif I wanna go skiing tomorrow.
811 00:36:20 [Tony] All right! Yeah.
812 00:36:22 -[Carole and Lisa squealing]-[Peter] Okay, okay. All right.
813 00:36:26 How about we let them celebrate
814 00:36:28 and you and I will takethis fake tree to the garage, huh?
815 00:36:32 Yeah. Sure. Let's do it.
816 00:36:35 [clears throat]
817 00:36:40 So, what do you thinkof this whole blind-date thing?
818 00:36:42 [scoffs] If Peter's happy, I'm happy.
819 00:36:47 Hmm. [exhales]
820 00:36:48 I always thought thatyou and Peter should be together.
821 00:36:51 [chuckles] I think you're anglingfor a full-time handyman.
822 00:36:55 -Well, I wouldn't mind.-[cupboard door closes]
823 00:36:58 But, no.
824 00:36:59 You were the first person Peter introducedus to that meant anything to him.
825 00:37:03 You're the only one.
826 00:37:06 And over the years, I can see thathe's happiest when he's with you.
827 00:37:10 But you've never seen himwith any of his boyfriends.
828 00:37:13 No, I haven't.
829 00:37:14 Probably because none of themever lasted that long.
830 00:37:21 You lasted.
831 00:37:23 Well, I'm his best friend.
832 00:37:26 Well, my wife is my best friendin the whole world. So?
833 00:37:29 We agree with Grandpa.We think you and Peter should be together.
834 00:37:33 [emotional music playing]
835 00:37:39 [groans]
836 00:37:42 Oh! [scoffs]
837 00:37:44 [scoffs] I can't wear this.
838 00:37:46 -Bro.-Exactly. [chuckles]
839 00:37:48 From when you went skiingwith your girlfriend in high school?
840 00:37:50 Last time I wore this,I was… [inhales sharply] …17 years old.
841 00:37:54 So, yes, it's a sign. I'm not going.
842 00:37:57 I don't need to leave you alone againall day with my family, anyway.
843 00:37:59 Why not? I love being with your family.
844 00:38:02 I told your sister I'd take all the kidsto the pageant rehearsal.
845 00:38:05 [chuckles] You did?
846 00:38:07 I love my family too, and you've spentmore time with them than I have.
847 00:38:10 You'll have plenty of time with them.
848 00:38:12 Plus, you like this guy.Plus, you already said yes.
849 00:38:14 I'm not opposed to ghosting.
850 00:38:16 I know. Maybe that's part of your problem.
851 00:38:18 Maybe you're part of my problem.
852 00:38:20 You know what, I actually dig the outfit.
853 00:38:22 It's a good story.
854 00:38:24 If he doesn't like you because ofa throwback fashion moment,
855 00:38:26 then he isn't for you anyway.
856 00:38:28 And, you don't have to go outwith him again.
857 00:38:31 Well…
858 00:38:33 -See?-[exhales]
859 00:38:39 [bells chiming]
860 00:38:42 "Mary worried what the angel meantby the greeting."
861 00:38:46 "Seeing she was scared, the angel said…"
862 00:38:50 "Don't be afraid, Mary. God is--"
863 00:38:53 Wait. Wait.
864 00:38:54 Stop, stop, stop, stop.
865 00:38:57 I don't know what you're doing here,but I need to see you scared.
866 00:39:01 And see, that way, he can see your fearand then his line works.
867 00:39:05 Aunt Sandy, I don't know what to do.So, why don't you just show me? [chuckles]
868 00:39:08 [screams]
869 00:39:10 [gasps]
870 00:39:11 [indistinct chattering]
871 00:39:12 Try that. All right, now take note.
872 00:39:15 -[exhales]-Can you believe this insanity?
873 00:39:18 Looks like Aunt Sandy needs some help.
874 00:39:20 No one's listening!
875 00:39:22 Listen!
876 00:39:23 Listen!
877 00:39:24 Listen!
878 00:39:27 I didn't wanna mention punishment,
879 00:39:30 but I'm telling you,I can be really scary.
880 00:39:34 -Can you write me a doctor's note?-[indistinct chattering]
881 00:39:37 I'm not a doctor.
882 00:39:38 So? You just have to write the note,
883 00:39:40 and you and I can go rescue Peterfrom his date.
884 00:39:43 How do you know he wants to be rescued?
885 00:39:45 He doesn't realize it yet,
886 00:39:47 but once you show up,
887 00:39:48 he'll realize that you're the onehe wanted to be with all along.
888 00:39:52 -[chattering continues]-No, no. I can't. I'll lose it!
889 00:39:55 Do you all wanna see me lose it?
890 00:39:58 -What are you getting him for Christmas?-Don't you have to be up there?
891 00:40:02 -[sighs] I'm after this.-[Sandy] We're gonna take it from the top.
892 00:40:06 I'm the donkey.
893 00:40:07 "Our story beginswith a young woman in her home…
894 00:40:13 Mary."
895 00:40:22 [dramatically] "Unless you look deeper,
896 00:40:26 there's nothingparticularly remarkable about Mary."
897 00:40:33 [giggles]
898 00:40:35 That's my favorite part.
899 00:40:38 [Peter] So, my best friend, Nick,came home with me,
900 00:40:40 and the whole plan was that we weregoing to pretend we finally fell in love.
901 00:40:45 -Why?-Because…
902 00:40:47 [exhales] …my family is terrified
903 00:40:48 that I'll be alone forever,and I didn't want to hear about it.
904 00:40:51 But that's really coolof your friend, though,
905 00:40:53 I mean, to play alongwith the whole charade.
906 00:40:55 That kind of thing comes easily to us.It's how we met, actually.
907 00:40:58 -How'd you meet?-Nine years ago, I had just moved to L.A.
908 00:41:02 Uh, it was literally my second day in tow,
909 00:41:04 and I was doing what every gay guy doeson his second day in a new city.
910 00:41:08 -Joining a gym.-Correct.
911 00:41:10 And Nick was also theredoing the exact same thing.
912 00:41:15 He had also just moved to L.A.,but we didn't know any of this yet.
913 00:41:19 And then I heard that the coupleahead of us was getting a family discount.
914 00:41:24 -Wow.-We didn't have to say a word.
915 00:41:25 When it was our turn,we improvised the whole thing.
916 00:41:28 We were from Chicago.We'd been together for three years.
917 00:41:33 We were engaged,but we didn't have the rings yet.
918 00:41:35 We'd just driven all the way to L.A.with Chelsea, our African gray parrot.
919 00:41:40 I mean… We got the family discount.
920 00:41:43 -That's an amazing story.-We've been best friends ever since.
921 00:41:47 Have, uh, you and Nick ever…
922 00:41:49 No.
923 00:41:51 No.
924 00:41:56 [girl] Danny's right.
925 00:41:57 You can't just not getUncle Peter a present for Christmas.
926 00:41:59 He's not my boyfriend.
927 00:42:01 So? He's not my boyfriend either.I'm still getting him a gift.
928 00:42:03 Wait, you are? What are you getting him?
929 00:42:05 Mom's just putting our name on something.But, Nick, you have to get him something.
930 00:42:10 Look, I appreciate what you're--
931 00:42:13 whatever you're trying to do,but Peter and I have a long history.
932 00:42:16 We've never gotten each otherChristmas presents. We've never…
933 00:42:20 actually done Christmas together.
934 00:42:21 -Aw.-Aw.
935 00:42:24 -Let's get a photo.-Yeah.
936 00:42:26 -[Sandy] I want to see all of your acting…-[exhales]
937 00:42:29 -[camera clicks]-Can you do a funny one?
938 00:42:33 [camera clicking]
939 00:42:34 Oh! My nieces with Nick right now.
940 00:42:38 Oh…
941 00:42:40 You have FOMO.
942 00:42:41 [chuckling] I do.
943 00:42:43 I'm a FOMO-sexual.
944 00:42:45 [laughs]
945 00:42:46 I mean, obviously,I wanna be here with you…
946 00:42:50 but I don't get to seemy family very often.
947 00:42:52 -Oh, I hope I'm not causing any drama.-No. Quite the opposite.
948 00:42:55 Everyone… Everyone's very happy I'm here.
949 00:42:58 Part of it is thatthey want me to move back home.
950 00:43:00 Oh! Do you ever think about that?
951 00:43:03 All the time.
952 00:43:06 But then…
953 00:43:07 Work-wise, New Hampshire is not exactlythe social media capital of the world.
954 00:43:12 Oh well, I wouldn't miss my job that much.
955 00:43:14 Because your real passion is plants?
956 00:43:17 How'd you know about that?
957 00:43:19 You don't think I found you on Instagram@MrHausPlant? H-A-U-S?
958 00:43:23 That's not fair.
959 00:43:25 My mom didn't have any pictures of you.I couldn't find you anywhere on Instagram.
960 00:43:28 @SkisTheLimit. S-K-I-S.
961 00:43:32 Oh. Uh-huh.
962 00:43:34 Ski's the limit. Yeah.I get it. I like it.
963 00:43:36 [ski lift clatters]
964 00:43:41 [Nick] "It was Emmett's third dayin the shelter."
965 00:43:44 "He was trying to sleep
966 00:43:45 so he didn't have tothink about being sad,
967 00:43:47 but he was so sad."
968 00:43:50 "Then, all the other dogs started barking,
969 00:43:52 which meant a human wasthere to save one lucky dog."
970 00:43:55 "But, Emmett didn't bark.He just wanted to sleep."
971 00:43:58 Am I right or am I right, huh?Uncle Peter insists on a real tree.
972 00:44:02 He says he's gonna deal with it.And here we are, hanging ornaments
973 00:44:06 -for the second time and cleaning up.-[whirring]
974 00:44:10 Well, he would be here if he wasn't withthe guy you set him up with.
975 00:44:13 [vacuum stops]
976 00:44:14 Yeah, you're right, honey.I just wanted to complain. [chuckles]
977 00:44:17 I get that. [chuckles]
978 00:44:19 Why isn't he back yet?I'm just gonna text him at this point.
979 00:44:23 -No. No, no, no. No, no, don't text him.-[whirring]
980 00:44:25 -Leave him alone.-Okay. Okay. Okay.
981 00:44:28 [Nick] "So, Emmett satin the truck next to the man,
982 00:44:31 and they droveand drove and drove." [chuckles]
983 00:44:36 "Now, when they walkedinto the man's apartment,
984 00:44:38 the man said, 'We're home!'"
985 00:44:40 -Is that your real apartment?-It's a drawing of it, yeah.
986 00:44:44 Where you live with Uncle Peter?
987 00:44:46 Yep.
988 00:44:47 Then why isn't Uncle Peter in the book?
989 00:44:50 It's a good question.
990 00:44:52 When did you and Uncle Peter get married?
991 00:44:54 [girls laughing]
992 00:44:57 [laughs] We're not married, no.
993 00:44:59 What are you, then?
994 00:45:03 -[Nick clears throat]-Hey, you should totally write a sequel.
995 00:45:06 Well, have you been talkingto my publisher?
996 00:45:09 -You wrote it already?-No.
997 00:45:11 -Oh.-But I will.
998 00:45:12 -Mm-hmm.-As soon as I figure out a good story.
999 00:45:16 I know. It should beabout Emmett at the hotel.
1000 00:45:18 During Christmas like he is right now.
1001 00:45:21 It should be sad at firstbecause you're leaving him,
1002 00:45:24 but then it's happywhen you come and pick him up.
1003 00:45:26 Right. And Uncle Peterwould pick him up with you.
1004 00:45:29 -Do you guys wanna write the book?-Oh no, I don't.
1005 00:45:31 Okay, look, come on.Bring it in. Bring it in.
1006 00:45:33 [boys laughing]
1007 00:45:35 -[Peter] That was great.-[James] You killed that last run.
1008 00:45:38 [Peter scoffs] Only after you showed mewhat I was doing wrong.
1009 00:45:40 Well, it is kind of my job.
1010 00:45:42 Don't think I didn't realizeI got a free private lesson.
1011 00:45:47 I just hope you don't feel likeyou were working all day.
1012 00:45:57 Not at all.
1013 00:46:01 Should we, uh, après-ski?
1014 00:46:04 -We should après-ski.-[phone vibrates]
1015 00:46:06 Sorry. Sorry. I-- [sighs]
1016 00:46:14 [chuckles]
1017 00:46:17 Actually…
1018 00:46:19 Am I that bad a kisser?
1019 00:46:21 -Horrible.-[chuckles]
1020 00:46:23 I wasn't gonna say anything.
1021 00:46:25 -Thanks for understanding.-Of course. Family comes first.
1022 00:46:28 And, uh, you can just, uh,Venmo me for the private lesson.
1023 00:46:31 [laughs]
1024 00:46:34 -Oh.-[laughs]
1025 00:46:41 -I had a really great time today.-Me too.
1026 00:46:46 -[engine starts]-[door shuts]
1027 00:46:57 -Hey!-Damn! Wow! You scared me.
1028 00:47:00 So? How'd it go?
1029 00:47:03 It was…
1030 00:47:06 kind of great. [chuckles]
1031 00:47:07 Okay!
1032 00:47:09 Yes!
1033 00:47:10 Uh, details?
1034 00:47:13 [Danny] It’s so obvious.How come only Grandpa sees what we see?
1035 00:47:16 All you gotta do is look at their faces.
1036 00:47:18 It’s pure love.
1037 00:47:19 I know, but why don’t even they see it,is the question.
1038 00:47:22 Love is blind.
1039 00:47:23 No. No, that’s when you fall in lovewith someone who’s ugly.
1040 00:47:26 -[indistinct chattering]-Why are you looking out of the window?
1041 00:47:29 Just two people who look at each otherlike that are not just friends.
1042 00:47:33 You’re totally right.
1043 00:47:34 Oh, you’re all insane.Peter just went skiing with James.
1044 00:47:38 He's just probablytelling Nick how great it was.
1045 00:47:42 -What's happening?-No, no, no, no!
1046 00:47:47 [Tony] Aw. Is one of them proposing?
1047 00:47:49 Maybe Nicholas actually listened to me.
1048 00:47:55 What do you mean?
1049 00:47:56 What did you tell him?
1050 00:47:58 Sounds like a solid, amazing date.
1051 00:48:01 Except I was gone all day.
1052 00:48:03 Well, you were skiing.It’s kind of an all-day thing.
1053 00:48:06 -Yeah, but it’s already dark out.-It’s dark because it’s winter.
1054 00:48:10 I know. [chuckles, exhales]
1055 00:48:12 I just wanted to be here too.
1056 00:48:13 -Because you were feeling FOMO-sexual?-Yes! I was.
1057 00:48:17 [chuckles]
1058 00:48:18 I only have so much time here and…I don’t like that.
1059 00:48:22 I wanna be able to go on a dateand be in a relationship,
1060 00:48:25 and also go to Lisa’s house for dinnerat the drop of a hat,
1061 00:48:28 or go to a movie with my dad,or take the girls shopping or…
1062 00:48:33 I don’t know,Coach Simon’s Little League team.
1063 00:48:36 Mm.
1064 00:48:37 Right. I’m obviouslynever coaching a Little League team.
1065 00:48:39 But I don’t want it to bethis one-or-the-other thing
1066 00:48:43 for the rest of my life.
1067 00:48:45 Well, it doesn’t have to be,but you’d have to move back here.
1068 00:48:48 That’s what I’m saying.I think I do wanna move back here.
1069 00:48:57 Oh. [chuckles nervously]
1070 00:49:03 So, you really must like this guyif he’s got you thinking about all this.
1071 00:49:08 Yeah, I don’t know.
1072 00:49:10 It is two dates. [chuckles]
1073 00:49:13 I think he’s just the strawthat broke the camel’s back.
1074 00:49:15 Please, just listen to me.
1075 00:49:17 Mom, you’re just pushing this James guybecause you set them up.
1076 00:49:20 You have to lookat what’s really happening here.
1077 00:49:22 No, you do.
1078 00:49:23 Listen, I totally get it.
1079 00:49:26 For years I've been pressuring Peterto be with Nick.
1080 00:49:28 They’re so close and so great together,
1081 00:49:30 but that doesn’t meanthey have romantic chemistry.
1082 00:49:33 This is a common misconceptionwe straight people have about gay people.
1083 00:49:37 But then I read my book calledLoving Your LGBTTT Child.
1084 00:49:41 Okay, I'm not buying it.
1085 00:49:42 Nick and Peter wanna make out.They should make out.
1086 00:49:46 Nick is hot. Nick is a ten.And Peter’s a ten in New Hampshire.
1087 00:49:50 We just have to make sure Peter doesn’t goon any more dates with this James guy.
1088 00:49:54 -Yes!-You can’t just decide what Peter does.
1089 00:49:56 Okay,sometimes people need a little shove.
1090 00:49:59 It's true. It's true.
1091 00:50:00 Jim and I wouldn’t be married
1092 00:50:01 unless Lisa had forced meto reply to his message on Match.
1093 00:50:04 What? You weren’t gonna reply?
1094 00:50:06 -You’re welcome.-[chuckles]
1095 00:50:08 And that's exactly what we need to do,is force them to spend more time together.
1096 00:50:12 They’re roommates and best friends.How much more time
1097 00:50:14 should they spend together?
1098 00:50:15 Okay, but time here, in a new environment.
1099 00:50:18 It’s Christmas. It’s romantic.
1100 00:50:21 You know,it’s not their normal day-to-day.
1101 00:50:24 And when I think about it,what do I actually have in L.A.?
1102 00:50:27 A… A… A job I don’t love,
1103 00:50:28 an overpriced apartment,an overpriced car.
1104 00:50:31 There are people that I like in L.A.,but you’re the only person I love.
1105 00:50:39 Well, I would, uh…
1106 00:50:43 really miss you.
1107 00:50:46 [car approaching]
1108 00:50:50 [Sandy] Thanks, Trish!
1109 00:50:54 -[car door closes]-[groans]
1110 00:50:57 Aunt Sandy? You okay?
1111 00:51:01 Yeah.
1112 00:51:02 -Okay.-[mumbling softly]
1113 00:51:03 Oh, whoa. Here, let me-- I… got you. Okay.
1114 00:51:06 Aunt Sandy, what's wrong?
1115 00:51:09 "All the world’s a stage."
1116 00:51:12 "And most of us are desperatelyunder-rehearsed."
1117 00:51:17 -Mm.-Who said that?
1118 00:51:20 It wasn't Shakespeare.
1119 00:51:21 Who?
1120 00:51:24 -I can’t remember. That’s why I asked.-Oh.
1121 00:51:27 [Sandy] It could've been Captain Kangaroo.
1122 00:51:29 He was smart.
1123 00:51:31 I don't thinkwe should all meddle like this.
1124 00:51:33 From the Queen of Meddling!
1125 00:51:35 No! I don't want any part of it.Whatever makes my Peter happy, right?
1126 00:51:39 -[Harold] That's it. You're right.-[girls] Amazing! Us too.
1127 00:51:42 [giggling, chattering]
1128 00:51:45 Meddle, meddle, meddle, meddle.King of meddle.
1129 00:51:47 Well, I'm glad you’re allhaving so much fun,
1130 00:51:50 but I just thought everyone should know
1131 00:51:54 that the pageant isa giant load of crap on a stick.
1132 00:51:59 And not in a good way,if you know what I mean.
1133 00:52:02 [sighs]
1134 00:52:05 What's the good way?
1135 00:52:06 [Sandy] I don't know. It's worsethan crap on the floor.
1136 00:52:10 Okay, seriously, Nick and Peter needto help Aunt Sandy with the pageant.
1137 00:52:15 -Yes!-Wait!
1138 00:52:17 Are you insinuatingthat just because Nick and Peter are gay,
1139 00:52:19 that they know theater?
1140 00:52:21 Because that’s another misconceptionI read about in my book.
1141 00:52:23 No, Mom. What I’m saying isPeter is really creative
1142 00:52:26 and he puts together, like,productions and photo shoots all the time.
1143 00:52:30 And Nick is super handy,and he can build things like sets,
1144 00:52:33 and the whole point of this isto force them to do more things together.
1145 00:52:37 Oh, Aunt Sand. Aunt Sand.
1146 00:52:41 Let Peter and Nick help you.
1147 00:52:43 You shouldn’t have to do thisall by yourself. You know?
1148 00:52:47 Jesus H. Christ.
1149 00:52:50 I know. I know.
1150 00:52:52 No, that’s the title of my play.
1151 00:52:56 Oh…
1152 00:52:57 It’s just such a huge undertaking.
1153 00:53:01 If Peter and Nick would liketo give me some help, that would be great.
1154 00:53:05 It's not because the gays know theater.
1155 00:53:09 It's because the gays just knowhow to do stuff, you know?
1156 00:53:15 I mean, they’re survivors.
1157 00:53:19 And for some reason,they’re always obsessed with me.
1158 00:53:25 -[exhales]-[chuckles]
1159 00:53:27 I don't know why…
1160 00:53:30 but I like it.
1161 00:53:34 I’m not saying it’s definite. [exhales]
1162 00:53:37 I’m just feeling…
1163 00:53:39 -[exhales]-A lot of things.
1164 00:53:41 -[exhales]-[chuckles]
1165 00:53:43 [huffs, sniffs]
1166 00:53:46 -All right.-[sniffs]
1167 00:53:48 -Here.-[chuckles]
1168 00:53:50 -Oh, well…-[mellow music playing]
1169 00:53:56 Now you'll be cold.
1170 00:53:59 We can go inside.
1171 00:54:02 I'm done.
1172 00:54:04 Done with what?
1173 00:54:07 Come here.
1174 00:54:15 [Peter chuckling] Oh!
1175 00:54:16 [whispering] Wow!
1176 00:54:22 Thank you…
1177 00:54:24 for this,
1178 00:54:25 for being so great with my family…
1179 00:54:31 for…
1180 00:54:34 you.
1181 00:54:36 [chuckles]
1182 00:54:38 [inhales deeply]
1183 00:54:53 [stomping foot]Help. My wife is about to have a baby.
1184 00:54:59 My rooms are full.
1185 00:55:00 All I can offer is my stablewhere we keep our animals.
1186 00:55:03 At last, I can have… I can have--
1187 00:55:05 Stop! Stop!You’re reading from your scripts!
1188 00:55:08 I was very clear about this.
1189 00:55:10 I said, "Everybody needs to be off book,or I'm gonna be doing their dialogue."
1190 00:55:16 And I'm gonna have to do just that.
1191 00:55:18 None of you have any lines.
1192 00:55:19 None of you. None of you.None of you. None of you.
1193 00:55:32 "Joseph and Mary knocked on every doorin Bethlehem looking for a place to stay."
1194 00:55:39 "They nearly gave upand then they tried one last place."
1195 00:55:50 Help! Help, please.
1196 00:55:53 My wife, she's having a baby.
1197 00:55:56 "Are you kidding me? My rooms are full."
1198 00:55:59 "All I have is my stablewhere we keep my animals."
1199 00:56:04 [panting]
1200 00:56:05 Thank you so much, sir,we… we really thank you. We'll take it.
1201 00:56:08 Oh my God!
1202 00:56:10 [crying, moaning]
1203 00:56:12 I have to have this baby.Please, give me some privacy!
1204 00:56:19 That's how it's done.
1205 00:56:21 [grunts] Aunt Sandy.
1206 00:56:24 Can I have a word with you?Just a quick word?
1207 00:56:28 I just want you to know that,you calling me over here
1208 00:56:31 and I’m in the middleof directing a scene,
1209 00:56:33 it makes me look likeI don’t know what I’m doing.
1210 00:56:36 Sorry. I didn't… I didn't mean to do that.
1211 00:56:38 I just thought that maybe, I had, um,maybe Nick and I could help you here.
1212 00:56:43 Oh, yeah? What do you got?
1213 00:56:45 ["Joy to the World"by Whitney Houston playing]
1214 00:56:50 ♪ Ooh ♪
1215 00:56:51 -♪ Let earth ♪-♪ Let earth ♪
1216 00:56:53 -♪ Receive ♪-♪ Receive ♪
1217 00:56:54 -♪ Her King ♪-♪ Her King ♪
1218 00:56:57 ♪ Let every heart ♪
1219 00:57:00 ♪ Prepare Him room ♪
1220 00:57:03 -♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪-♪ Heaven and nature sing ♪
1221 00:57:06 ♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪
1222 00:57:08 -♪ Go tell it ♪-♪ Go tell it His glory ♪
1223 00:57:10 ♪ Shout out a new story ♪♪ Go shout a new story ♪
1224 00:57:13 -♪ That the savior is born ♪-♪ Heaven ♪
1225 00:57:15 -♪ Heaven, heaven ♪-♪ Heaven, heaven ♪
1226 00:57:17 -♪ And nature ♪-♪ Sing joy ♪
1227 00:57:19 -♪ Joy ♪-♪ Joy ♪
1228 00:57:21 -♪ Sing joy to the world ♪-♪ Sing joy, oh ♪
1229 00:57:24 -♪ Sing joy to the world ♪-♪ Sing joy ♪
1230 00:57:27 -♪ Sing joy to the world ♪-♪ Sing joy ♪
1231 00:57:29 -♪ Everybody sing ♪-♪ Sing joy to the world ♪
1232 00:57:32 -♪ Sing joy ♪-♪ Sing joy to the world ♪
1233 00:57:34 -[vocalizing]-♪ Sing joy to the world ♪
1234 00:57:37 -♪ Everybody sing joy ♪-♪ Sing joy to the world ♪
1235 00:57:39 -[vocalizing]-♪ Sing joy ♪
1236 00:57:42 -♪ Joy to the world ♪-♪ Joy to the world ♪
1237 00:57:45 [boy yells] Again!
1238 00:57:46 "Mary didn’t understandwhy the angel had come to see her."
1239 00:57:49 "And she was worriedwhat the angel meant by the greeting."
1240 00:57:52 "Seeing she was scared, the angel said…"
1241 00:57:57 Sam, the show is tomorrow.
1242 00:58:00 Exactly, and none of you are getting anyof these amazing, yummy Christmas treats
1243 00:58:04 until you know all your lines by heart.
1244 00:58:06 This isn't fair.
1245 00:58:07 -You've got a job to do.-Yeah, but we aren't getting paid.
1246 00:58:10 -Yes, you are, in cookies.-[phone ringing]
1247 00:58:13 If you'll excuse me, this is my boss,who does not pay me in cookies.
1248 00:58:16 Lachlan, hey. [chuckles]
1249 00:58:18 Are we still going live on Christmas Eve?
1250 00:58:22 Ha! [chuckles] LOL.
1251 00:58:25 Wait, are you serious?
1252 00:58:27 No!
1253 00:58:29 They can't just-- No.
1254 00:58:31 Tell them that--
1255 00:58:34 Offices are closed.Everyone's away, including me.
1256 00:58:36 I’m in New Hampshire.
1257 00:58:38 Even if I was in L.A.,there's absolutely no--
1258 00:58:40 Agh!
1259 00:58:42 Three months of work and they want meto deliver a new campaign in one day.
1260 00:58:45 Huh, what was wrong with the first one?
1261 00:58:48 Nothing! But suddenly the CEO decidedhe doesn’t want to use influencers.
1262 00:58:51 He wants to use "real" people.Which still means models, by the way.
1263 00:58:55 All the agencies are closed.My photographers aren't available.
1264 00:58:57 Just tell them that it's not possible.
1265 00:58:59 -Thanks, Mom. I did. They don't care.-Would you like for me to call them?
1266 00:59:02 [scoffs]
1267 00:59:04 Why don’t you take some picturesof Nicholas?
1268 00:59:09 [laughs]
1269 00:59:11 Oh, you're very funny.
1270 00:59:13 No, you’re real. You could be a model.You’re a ten! He's a ten!
1271 00:59:18 No! I mean, I'm sorry.
1272 00:59:21 I have somethingto do that needs to be done.
1273 00:59:23 So I'm gonna go do it. So it's done. Okay.
1274 00:59:27 [exhales] Hmm?
1275 00:59:29 Thanks, Dad. Great idea.
1276 00:59:33 -One of your best.-[chuckles]
1277 00:59:35 -Mm…-[groans]
1278 00:59:37 "Thanks, Dad.Good idea. One of your best."
1279 00:59:39 I know who you are,and I see what you're doing.
1280 00:59:42 You're pretending like you’re helpingyour son solve a work problem,
1281 00:59:46 but really, you’re manufacturing some sortof a romantic thing between them?
1282 00:59:50 I was doing both.I was helping and manufacturing.
1283 00:59:54 Highly sophisticated.
1284 00:59:57 -Good! Oh, that's good.-I can’t believe you’re making me do this.
1285 01:00:01 Okay, this will work.Can you look… Can you look at me though?
1286 01:00:04 Oh! Very good.I think that's your new author photo.
1287 01:00:07 -Now you just have to write a book.-Oh, you're funny.
1288 01:00:09 -Can you up look at me?-[shutter clicking]
1289 01:00:11 Okay, one more.
1290 01:00:14 -Oh.-[whispering] Oh, that feels wrong.
1291 01:00:16 Turn, one, two, three, turn.Oh. Oh, smolder.
1292 01:00:21 Okay, take off the jacketand the gloves and the… and the shirt.
1293 01:00:23 Pick up a piece of wood.Not that one. Here. Like a round one.
1294 01:00:33 You're horrible.
1295 01:00:37 You need a little bit more…Hold this for me.
1296 01:00:40 -Oh, okay.-Yeah.
1297 01:00:42 Oh my God! [laughs]
1298 01:00:44 I'm sorry.
1299 01:00:46 Oh yes!
1300 01:00:48 Come on, give me a big smile.
1301 01:00:49 -Okay. Here. It's stupid.-Okay.
1302 01:00:51 -I shouldn't even be in this campaign.-No, I like this, but you know what?
1303 01:00:55 Oh, you just look so cute.
1304 01:00:57 Yes, yes, do you wanna leanyour head up against the tree?
1305 01:01:00 Oh, there we go.
1306 01:01:04 Oh my God. Yes. Yes. Now put it on.
1307 01:01:08 -Make sure you don't get any…-There you are. This is really cute.
1308 01:01:11 -I have an idea I wanna do.-Like what?
1309 01:01:13 -I want you to look right into the camera.-Mm-hmm.
1310 01:01:16 On three, breathe outso I can see the fog on your breath.
1311 01:01:19 Okay. Ready?
1312 01:01:21 Okay.
1313 01:01:23 One,
1314 01:01:24 two,
1315 01:01:26 -three.-[shutter clicking]
1316 01:01:27 [gentle piano music plays]
1317 01:01:35 [inhales shakily]
1318 01:01:37 -[phone vibrates]-[chuckles]
1319 01:01:41 -Oh.-What? Work? Let me guess.
1320 01:01:43 They've changed their minds again,and now they want girls.
1321 01:01:46 But real girls. With their boyfriends.
1322 01:01:49 It’s James. He wants to grab a drink.
1323 01:01:52 Ooh.
1324 01:01:53 But I’m not going.
1325 01:01:54 I, ugh, have all this work drama
1326 01:01:56 and I don’t need to spendany more time away from my family.
1327 01:02:00 Right?
1328 01:02:02 Well, you have beenwith the family all day.
1329 01:02:05 And we might have just solvedyour work problem.
1330 01:02:07 So… I think you should probably go.
1331 01:02:12 -You should come with.-No. I don’t need to be a third wheel.
1332 01:02:16 -You wouldn’t be.-I literally would be.
1333 01:02:18 -[scoffs] Why do you want me to go?-Because I think you wanna go.
1334 01:02:21 -I think you want me to wanna go.-I think you’re overthinking it.
1335 01:02:25 Just go.
1336 01:02:29 Okay. I'll go.
1337 01:02:30 -All right.-[delivery notification bleeps]
1338 01:02:33 [mellow music playing]
1339 01:02:35 I'm going.
1340 01:02:39 [music continues]
1341 01:02:45 [message chimes]
1342 01:03:03 [groans]
1343 01:03:07 Black and gray doesn't screamvery donkey to me.
1344 01:03:09 -Well, I just---No.
1345 01:03:12 No?
1346 01:03:13 Where are you going? We need help.I have to figure out my Mary makeup.
1347 01:03:16 I need to show you the new donkey costume.
1348 01:03:18 I’m on the fence about it.
1349 01:03:19 I’m actually off to do a TaskRabbit gig.Peter left to grab a drink with James.
1350 01:03:23 -No, he didn't. What?-Where? Mom and Dad’s bar?
1351 01:03:26 No idea.
1352 01:03:27 Well, it’s the only bar in town.Nick, you need to stop this.
1353 01:03:32 [chuckles]
1354 01:03:34 [footsteps receding]
1355 01:03:36 [phone ringing]
1356 01:03:37 Lisa’s Crisis.
1357 01:03:38 It’s us. Is Peter therewith that guy grandma set him up with?
1358 01:03:41 They're here. And it's not good.James is super-hot.
1359 01:03:44 Oh my God, I hate James so much.
1360 01:03:47 Mom, you and Dad need to ruin this date.
1361 01:03:50 Just spill their drinks on them.Oh, tell lies about Peter.
1362 01:03:53 Just do whatever you needto get rid of this guy.
1363 01:03:55 -Yeah, yeah.-On it.
1364 01:03:58 Give me a burger!
1365 01:03:59 We need to find Nick and make him dosomething about his feelings.
1366 01:04:02 He went to that TaskRabbit gig.We have no idea where he is.
1367 01:04:05 He was walking. He can’t be that far.
1368 01:04:08 Nick's basically been on his ownsince he was 17, so…
1369 01:04:12 he just had to do everything.
1370 01:04:14 He basically built the whole setfor the pageant in a day and a half.
1371 01:04:19 You know, you talk about Nick a lot.
1372 01:04:22 Oh, well, you know… [scoffs]
1373 01:04:25 He’s my best friend.
1374 01:04:26 No, it’s sweet. If I had a best friendwho could fix anything,
1375 01:04:29 I’d be bragging about him too. [chuckles]
1376 01:04:31 You’re lucky.
1377 01:04:32 [chuckles]
1378 01:04:34 Yeah.
1379 01:04:36 I guess I am lucky.
1380 01:04:37 [clears throat]
1381 01:04:40 -Oh! Oh my God!-Oh!
1382 01:04:43 Peter!
1383 01:04:44 -Wh-- What? How is that my fault?-Oh, you weren't looking.
1384 01:04:49 I am so sorry.
1385 01:04:51 I mean, this is typical Peter, you know,in his own world,
1386 01:04:54 just thinking about himself,not about anyone or anything around him.
1387 01:04:58 -[stammers]-[Lisa] Here's a napkin.
1388 01:05:00 Seriously, when I was 11 years old,he ran over my science project
1389 01:05:04 with his remote-controlBarbie Baywatch Rescue Cruiser.
1390 01:05:07 Oh my God! And the worst part was that
1391 01:05:09 I had actually figured out how to stopthe polar ice caps from melting,
1392 01:05:12 but I couldn't rememberhow I figured it out.
1393 01:05:15 And now we have climate changebecause of Peter. Honestly, just-- Oh!
1394 01:05:19 I can't even with you.
1395 01:05:21 It's just… He's so selfish.
1396 01:05:24 [groans]
1397 01:05:26 -[Danny] Nick!-[groans]
1398 01:05:31 Admit you’re in love with Peteror we’re not putting the ladder back.
1399 01:05:34 -You’ve gotta be kidding me.-Does it look like we’re kidding you?
1400 01:05:37 [sighs] We've talked about this.Peter and I are just friends.
1401 01:05:41 You guys are more!
1402 01:05:42 And we think you know it,but you’re not doing anything about it.
1403 01:05:46 [chuckles]
1404 01:05:47 I know you care,but this not the-- Okay, wait!
1405 01:05:52 [exhales]
1406 01:05:54 [emotional music playing]
1407 01:05:56 I do love Peter.
1408 01:05:58 You're right.
1409 01:06:00 You mean you’re in love with Peter.
1410 01:06:03 Right. Yes.
1411 01:06:06 -I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud.-So you're gonna do something about it?
1412 01:06:09 I would if the feeling was mutual,which I don’t think it is,
1413 01:06:13 considering Peter is currentlyon a third date with someone else.
1414 01:06:16 [door creaks open]
1415 01:06:18 [man coughs]
1416 01:06:19 Um, ladies… [chuckles]
1417 01:06:21 …I would like to keepmy five-star rating, please.
1418 01:06:28 Your family obviously caresa great deal about you.
1419 01:06:31 -[chuckling] Sometimes too much so.-What do you mean?
1420 01:06:34 Well, this may be weird to tell you, but,
1421 01:06:38 um, my family has always had this thingwhere they think that Nick and I
1422 01:06:43 are supposed to be together,
1423 01:06:46 which is weird because here I amon an actual date, a third date with you.
1424 01:06:54 Maybe they’re onto something.
1425 01:06:56 What if you and Nick havean undeniable connection
1426 01:06:59 that everybody can see but you?
1427 01:07:02 Don't you have one of those friendseveryone assumes is your boyfriend?
1428 01:07:05 Hmm.
1429 01:07:08 No.
1430 01:07:09 Oh. [inhales]
1431 01:07:11 -[phone vibrates]-[exhales]
1432 01:07:13 -Sorry.-It's okay.
1433 01:07:17 [Peter] It's my boss.
1434 01:07:28 This is random, but you wouldn't beinterested in being in a Raazr ad
1435 01:07:32 for Instagram if they pick you, would you?
1436 01:07:34 -Are you kidding me?-Yeah, I'm sorry, that's…
1437 01:07:37 -Yes!-Oh.
1438 01:07:38 -Yeah.-Okay! [laughs]
1439 01:07:41 It will be fun. Um, um, I just need--
1440 01:07:44 -Yeah, so… I need something from…-Yeah.
1441 01:07:49 Okay.
1442 01:07:57 -Great!-Yeah.
1443 01:07:58 -Ready?-Yeah.
1444 01:08:00 [laughs]
1445 01:08:02 This is great.
1446 01:08:03 I wanna do one more.
1447 01:08:04 Look right into the camera
1448 01:08:06 and on three breathe out,so I can see your breath. Okay?
1449 01:08:08 -Okay.-Ready? Here we go.
1450 01:08:11 One, two, three.
1451 01:08:18 It's great.
1452 01:08:21 Really good.
1453 01:08:23 Well, you're a lifesaver. [chuckles]
1454 01:08:25 It was a lot of fun.
1455 01:08:27 [keys jingle]
1456 01:08:29 -Well, this is me.-Oh.
1457 01:08:32 Do you wanna come up?
1458 01:08:34 Uh, sure.
1459 01:08:38 Actually…
1460 01:08:42 [clicks tongue] I should probably go home.
1461 01:08:45 The girls need me for the pageant and…
1462 01:08:47 Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.
1463 01:08:50 I look forward to seeing it.
1464 01:08:53 That is, if I'm invited?
1465 01:08:55 Yeah. Yeah, of course you’re invited.
1466 01:08:58 -I’ll make sure there's a ticket for you.-Great. [exhales]
1467 01:09:01 -I'll see you tomorrow.-Okay.
1468 01:09:03 -Goodnight.-Goodnight.
1469 01:09:04 [keys jingle]
1470 01:09:16 [exhales]
1471 01:09:23 What the? [scoffs]
1472 01:09:26 Really?
1473 01:09:28 [sighs deeply]
1474 01:09:40 Don't snore.
1475 01:09:43 [breathing heavily]
1476 01:09:51 -Hey.-Hey, sorry.
1477 01:09:54 -Are you okay?-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1478 01:09:56 The…
1479 01:09:58 -The girls are in my bed.-[chuckles]
1480 01:10:01 Of course, they are.
1481 01:10:04 -Of course, they are.-[chuckles]
1482 01:10:06 [emotional music playing]
1483 01:10:13 [Nick groans softly]
1484 01:10:20 [both sigh]
1485 01:10:29 -[Lisa] Absolutely not.-[Danny] You don't know what looks good.
1486 01:10:32 Well, I know what looks bad!
1487 01:10:33 You know what? Let me…Let me just say,it's… it's a little bit too sexy.
1488 01:10:38 [sister] And sexy is a great thing.
1489 01:10:40 It is a great thingwhen you're my age. Not now.
1490 01:10:42 [sister] Peter and Nick saidwe look amazing.
1491 01:10:44 No, we didn’t.
1492 01:10:48 Ho, ho, ho! [blows raspberry, chuckles]
1493 01:10:51 Can you do something about this?
1494 01:10:53 -Okay. Yes.-[door opens]
1495 01:10:56 All right!Are we late for the final rehearsal?
1496 01:11:02 Okay! Let's go! Let's go.
1497 01:11:05 -I wanna stay.-[Ashleigh] I know.
1498 01:11:07 -[Simon] Why can't we stay in the kitchen?-[Ashleigh] Mommy says so.
1499 01:11:09 -Use your words, honey.-I have no words. There are no words.
1500 01:11:12 You should've had boys.
1501 01:11:14 Why couldn't we stay in the kitchen?
1502 01:11:16 Oh, you know, because it’s Christmas Eve,
1503 01:11:18 which means that someoneneeds to change Grandma’s sign.
1504 01:11:22 Me! Me!
1505 01:11:23 Okay! Well, up we go! [grunts]
1506 01:11:27 One more day to go. [sighs]
1507 01:11:31 Hey, Ash, uh, can we usesome of your farm makeup for the show?
1508 01:11:35 To make the girls look like,you know, not terrifying.
1509 01:11:39 Of course. Yeah, and would you maybetake some pics and post them?
1510 01:11:43 -Absolutely.-#FarmOnMyFace.
1511 01:11:46 Ha-- Yeah.
1512 01:11:49 [squeals]
1513 01:11:50 [Peter] Yes! Yes, ladies.
1514 01:11:52 Oh, such an improvement.Take it from your guncle.
1515 01:11:56 Okay, here we go. #FarmOnMyFace.
1516 01:12:00 Sorry we said you likeour trashy costumes.
1517 01:12:03 That was like, super shady of us.
1518 01:12:05 Um, no, Sofia. We weren’t shady.
1519 01:12:08 -You were shady.-[Peter] It’s okay.
1520 01:12:10 Come to L.A. for Halloweenand you can wear whatever you want.
1521 01:12:14 So you’re not moving back here for James?
1522 01:12:17 Because you have feelings for Nick?
1523 01:12:19 What?
1524 01:12:20 Don't pretend like you don't knowwhat we're talking about.
1525 01:12:22 Uh, it sounds like you don’t want meto move back here.
1526 01:12:25 No, no, no! That's not what we're saying.
1527 01:12:27 Of course, we want you to move back here,
1528 01:12:29 with Nick.
1529 01:12:32 Well… [chuckles]
1530 01:12:33 …Nick wouldn’t wanna move here.
1531 01:12:35 What would be here for him?
1532 01:12:36 -You.-And us.
1533 01:12:38 Admit it. You have feelings for him.
1534 01:12:41 Have I had feelingsfor Nick in the past? Yes.
1535 01:12:45 And maybe even now? I… maybe.
1536 01:12:49 But the risk is too…
1537 01:12:52 If Nick and I ever went thereand it didn’t work out…
1538 01:12:58 I would lose him.And I don’t want that to happen.
1539 01:13:02 But what if it did work out?
1540 01:13:04 [sighs] Well, then I’d…
1541 01:13:09 be really happy.
1542 01:13:12 [chuckles]
1543 01:13:13 And I wouldn’t haveto be single at Christmas.
1544 01:13:16 Santa? Can you hear me?
1545 01:13:18 [chuckles, gasps]
1546 01:13:20 -Oh my God.-[Peter] Britney!
1547 01:13:22 Our song. I wasn’t even thinking that.I was just-- It--
1548 01:13:24 It lives in your soul.I’m finding it. I’m finding it. Let's go!
1549 01:13:27 Do we remember the choreography?
1550 01:13:28 [Danny] You’ve only made us do itever since we could walk.
1551 01:13:31 -Okay.-["My Only Wish (This Year)" playing]
1552 01:13:33 Space. Space. Okay.
1553 01:13:34 [Sofia] Okay. Okay. Okay. Ready! Okay.
1554 01:13:39 ♪ Last night I took a walk in the snow ♪
1555 01:13:42 ♪ Couples holdin' hands, places to go ♪
1556 01:13:46 -♪ Seems like everyone but me is in love ♪-Looking. Looking.
1557 01:13:48 -Heartbeat.-♪ Santa, can you hear me? ♪
1558 01:13:52 ♪ I signed my letterThat I sealed with a kiss ♪
1559 01:13:55 ♪ I sent it off and just said this ♪
1560 01:13:58 ♪ I know exactly what I want this year ♪
1561 01:14:01 -♪ Santa can you hear me? ♪-[Peter humming]
1562 01:14:04 ♪ I want my baby, baby ♪
1563 01:14:07 ♪ I want someone to love meSomeone to hold ♪
1564 01:14:11 -Baby!-♪ Maybe, maybe ♪
1565 01:14:13 ♪ Maybe, maybe ♪
1566 01:14:15 ♪ He'll be all my own in a big red bow ♪
1567 01:14:18 ♪ Santa, can you hear me? ♪
1568 01:14:21 ♪ I have been so good this year ♪
1569 01:14:24 ♪ And all I want is one thing ♪
1570 01:14:28 ♪ Tell me my true love is here ♪
1571 01:14:31 ♪ He's all I want, just for me ♪
1572 01:14:34 ♪ Underneath my Christmas tree ♪
1573 01:14:37 ♪ I'll be waiting here ♪
1574 01:14:40 -♪ Santa, that's my only wish this year… ♪-[Peter] ♪ This year ♪
1575 01:14:45 [laughing, cheering]
1576 01:14:49 -Nice!-Yeah!
1577 01:14:51 Okay, robot.
1578 01:14:53 Christmas robot!
1579 01:14:56 -No, I don't---♪ Christmas Eve ♪
1580 01:14:58 -We talked to Uncle Peter.-♪ I just can't sleep ♪
1581 01:15:00 -The feeling is mutual.-♪ Would I be wrong for takin' a peek ♪
1582 01:15:03 ♪ 'Cause I heardThat you're coming to town ♪
1583 01:15:07 ♪ Santa, can you hear me? ♪
1584 01:15:10 ♪ I really hope that you're on your way ♪
1585 01:15:13 ♪ With something special for me-- ♪
1586 01:15:15 "I just want us all to go out there
1587 01:15:18 and take the peoplein the audience to another place."
1588 01:15:22 "And inspire them to be better versions
1589 01:15:24 of the people that they are already."
1590 01:15:28 "I thank you all,
1591 01:15:29 each and every one of you for being partof this experience with me."
1592 01:15:33 "I feel so grateful."
1593 01:15:35 "I feel so excited."
1594 01:15:37 "I feel so honored."
1595 01:15:39 "Let's go out thereand have the best time ever tonight."
1596 01:15:46 "Be safe and let's shinelike the brightest lights."
1597 01:15:51 "Amen."
1598 01:15:52 [all] Amen.
1599 01:15:55 Word for word Madonna's pre-show prayerfrom Truth or Dare.
1600 01:15:58 Yeah. [chuckles]
1601 01:15:59 [indistinct chattering]
1602 01:16:02 Hey.
1603 01:16:03 -Hi.-HI. Good to see you.
1604 01:16:06 Merry Christmas, Carole.
1605 01:16:18 [applause continues]
1606 01:16:22 [applause continues, whooping]
1607 01:16:31 Imagine all the stars in the sky…
1608 01:16:38 the countless constellations…
1609 01:16:44 the sprawling solar system.
1610 01:16:49 And among it…
1611 01:16:52 a tiny little planet called Earth.
1612 01:16:57 Our story beginswith a young woman in her home.
1613 01:17:03 Mary.
1614 01:17:04 -[clapping]-Whoo!
1615 01:17:07 [whispering] Sorry.
1616 01:17:09 Unless you look deeper,
1617 01:17:12 there was nothingparticularly remarkable about Mary.
1618 01:17:19 -[laughing]-[Sandy] And the Holy Spirit will come
1619 01:17:24 and bring his power
1620 01:17:26 and bring us a baby.
1621 01:17:29 But I am not yet married.How could I have a son?
1622 01:17:32 The Holy Spirit will come,and his power will give you a baby.
1623 01:17:38 [audience laughing]
1624 01:17:44 [star whirs]
1625 01:17:46 Oh.
1626 01:17:48 [laughing]
1627 01:17:53 To save her aching legs,
1628 01:17:56 Mary rode a donkey.
1629 01:17:59 [audience murmurs, chuckles]
1630 01:18:03 Mary liked camels and donkeys.
1631 01:18:10 And rode them both.
1632 01:18:12 [audience murmuring]
1633 01:18:13 -The shepherds were just ordinary…-Look.
1634 01:18:16 [Carole clicks tongue] Aw.
1635 01:18:18 Can't argue with that.
1636 01:18:20 Do you hear me arguing?I don't hear me arguing.
1637 01:18:23 [Sandy] …when another angel spoke to them.
1638 01:18:26 I bring news of great joy.
1639 01:18:28 Today in Bethlehem,our Savior's been born.
1640 01:18:31 [piano plays "Joy to the World"]
1641 01:18:33 [children singing]♪ Joy to the world ♪
1642 01:18:35 ♪ The Lord has come ♪
1643 01:18:38 ♪ Let earth receive her King ♪
1644 01:18:43 ♪ Let every heart prepare Him room ♪
1645 01:18:49 ♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪
1646 01:18:52 ♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪
1647 01:18:54 ♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪
1648 01:19:00 [cheering]
1649 01:19:09 Bravo!
1650 01:19:18 -They really pulled it off.-With the help of two fairy God-daddies.
1651 01:19:22 Seriously.
1652 01:19:23 Yep.
1653 01:19:25 Seriously, though, thank youfor all your help here.
1654 01:19:28 And for coming home with me.
1655 01:19:32 You really just make everything better.
1656 01:19:35 Aw! Look at you being all sweet.
1657 01:19:45 -Peter…-[gasps]
1658 01:19:47 -You just first named me.-Um…
1659 01:19:50 I have something to tell you.
1660 01:19:52 And it has spun aroundin my head a lot lately.
1661 01:19:57 Um…
1662 01:19:58 I'm just gonna say it.
1663 01:20:01 I love you.
1664 01:20:02 [chuckles]
1665 01:20:04 I love you too.
1666 01:20:06 I know, but… [exhales]
1667 01:20:10 I'm in love with you.
1668 01:20:16 Wow!
1669 01:20:18 Um…
1670 01:20:25 [chuckles]
1671 01:20:27 You've been pushing meto go out with James.
1672 01:20:29 Why are you suddenly--
1673 01:20:31 It was when you saidyou wanted to move back here.
1674 01:20:33 When you said that, it… it hit me and
1675 01:20:37 I realized if my feelingswere purely platonic,
1676 01:20:39 then I wouldn't be that devastated.
1677 01:20:41 I mean, I'd be bummed, but I'd be fine.
1678 01:20:45 But I wasn't.
1679 01:20:48 I was heartbroken.
1680 01:20:51 [clicks tongue, sighs]
1681 01:20:58 [gasps] I can't lose you as a friend.
1682 01:21:02 What if it didn't work out?
1683 01:21:04 Isn't that what would happen?Would that happen?
1684 01:21:07 Are you saying you do wanna tryor are you saying you don't want to try?
1685 01:21:10 I don't know. I don't know.
1686 01:21:12 I just know that… I…
1687 01:21:15 I wanna move back home. Here.
1688 01:21:23 [exhales]
1689 01:21:27 I get it. I--
1690 01:21:29 But… But… [inhales]
1691 01:21:30 -Hey! There you are.-[Peter] Hi.
1692 01:21:33 -Hi!-The show was so great.
1693 01:21:36 Thank you. Thank you.
1694 01:21:38 You must be Nick.
1695 01:21:39 Oh, sorry, yeah. Nick, James. James, Nick.
1696 01:21:41 I've heard so much about you.
1697 01:21:42 We should get to know each other better
1698 01:21:44 because we are all blowing upon Instagram.
1699 01:21:48 [Peter] Wait, what?
1700 01:21:49 Ugh! They told me they were gonna tell mebefore they-- And they did. Wow, okay.
1701 01:21:54 -[James] Yeah.-[Peter] Mm.
1702 01:21:55 [James] Hey, we should celebrate.
1703 01:21:56 Yes, we should.We should. We should go, um, get a drink.
1704 01:22:00 Uh, some people are goingto my sister's bar, actually.
1705 01:22:03 -Perfect.-Actually, I'm… I'm gonna meet you there.
1706 01:22:05 -Why?-I got a missed call from the doggy hotel.
1707 01:22:09 I'm just gonna check in on Emmettand make sure everything's okay.
1708 01:22:12 -I'll be five, ten minutes behind you.-Okay.
1709 01:22:18 -Should we get a drink?-Yeah.
1710 01:22:20 I could definitely use a drink right away.
1711 01:22:22 -A few drinks.-[James] Yes!
1712 01:22:24 -That show was really great.-Oh, thank you.
1713 01:22:26 I know. Great idea.
1714 01:22:31 I'm so stupid.
1715 01:22:35 ♪ Mrs. Claus, I write this letter to you ♪
1716 01:22:42 ♪ 'Cause nobody else seemsTo understand you like I do ♪
1717 01:22:48 ♪ I know what's underneath the spectaclesAnd the long red dress… ♪
1718 01:22:53 Why does that guy looks so familiar?
1719 01:22:56 -Oh, that's Kevin, the snow-plow guy.-Oh yeah.
1720 01:22:59 His real claim to fame is,
1721 01:23:00 he spends all year writing a songto perform here on Christmas Eve.
1722 01:23:04 He's been doing it every yearsince this place opened. [chuckles]
1723 01:23:09 He's also a notary, and an animal psychic.
1724 01:23:13 His brand's all over the place.
1725 01:23:15 ♪ I'm just sitting hereMaking up my Christmas list ♪
1726 01:23:19 ♪ And I wrote one down for you ♪
1727 01:23:22 ♪ Stand tall, baby ♪
1728 01:23:23 ♪ Don't play small no more ♪
1729 01:23:25 ♪ Stop giving up creditWhen credit's yours… ♪
1730 01:23:28 What is happening? Where is Nick?
1731 01:23:33 I don't know, but this is your fault.
1732 01:23:36 You are so mean.But you're handsome, and you're right.
1733 01:23:40 ♪ …your prospers, Mrs. Claus ♪
1734 01:23:44 [cheering]
1735 01:23:48 ♪ Mrs. Claus… ♪
1736 01:23:50 This is crazy. I have gotten 10,000new followers in the last two hours.
1737 01:23:56 You should move to L.A.Strike while the iron's hot.
1738 01:23:59 Really?
1739 01:24:00 Yeah, I mean, well,that's where the social-media action is.
1740 01:24:04 When there's a surge,you kinda, gotta grab it.
1741 01:24:07 Jump in, no fear.
1742 01:24:09 You can bea top celebrity trainer in months.
1743 01:24:11 Even though you wanna move back here.
1744 01:24:15 Oh, s-- sorry. I didn't even realizehow that sounded like.
1745 01:24:18 It's okay. I actually thinkyou needed to hear yourself say that.
1746 01:24:24 Say what?
1747 01:24:26 That we're not a match.
1748 01:24:29 Oh.
1749 01:24:30 -Oh my gosh!-[Carole] What?
1750 01:24:31 Nancy Michaelson,she just came up to me, and she said,
1751 01:24:35 "Your show was so damn good.It needs to go on tour."
1752 01:24:39 Oh, congratulations.It really was a great show, Sand.
1753 01:24:43 Congratulations.
1754 01:24:44 Oh no. You always say it just like that.
1755 01:24:46 I do, but this time I actually mean it.
1756 01:24:49 You agree that it should go on tour? What?
1757 01:24:52 -I don't know what to---Oh my God.
1758 01:24:54 And you know what?I think it should be a national tour.
1759 01:24:56 And this time,Ellen Greene can be my understudy.
1760 01:25:01 Oh, be right back. Or not.
1761 01:25:05 For I've been making eyeswith a very handsome man
1762 01:25:08 and now it's time to land the plane.
1763 01:25:21 Hi.
1764 01:25:23 Hi! The pageant was great.
1765 01:25:26 [laughs]
1766 01:25:27 Thank you, yeah.I've been getting that a lot.
1767 01:25:31 [Sandy sighs]
1768 01:25:33 I'm Sandy.
1769 01:25:35 And I think you're very handsome.
1770 01:25:39 Oh no, no. No, no.
1771 01:25:40 Oh, thank you.
1772 01:25:42 Sorry. Sandy, no.Honey, honey, wrong team. No, no.
1773 01:25:46 This is James. He's my trainer at the gym,and he's who I set up with Peter.
1774 01:25:50 They're here together. So, wrong team and…
1775 01:25:54 So what? I mean, people are intoall sorts of things. Right?
1776 01:26:00 Yeah, you said that.Look over here. Oh, look!
1777 01:26:03 Wow! Your family is… interesting.
1778 01:26:06 Yeah, yeah,that kind of thing tends to happen.
1779 01:26:09 So, um, sorry, what we were saying before…
1780 01:26:13 I've had a great time with you.
1781 01:26:16 But you and Nick…
1782 01:26:20 Remember when I asked you,
1783 01:26:21 if maybe you twohave an undeniable connection
1784 01:26:24 that everyone can see but you?
1785 01:26:26 [chuckles]
1786 01:26:28 Well, you do.
1787 01:26:31 [car beeps]
1788 01:26:34 -[door opens]-[alert dings]
1789 01:26:36 [alert stops]
1790 01:26:38 [exhales]
1791 01:26:43 [exhales]
1792 01:26:47 [message alert vibrates]
1793 01:26:54 [phone whooshes]
1794 01:26:55 It was obviousevery single time you'd talk about him.
1795 01:26:58 You get this adorable twinkle in your eye.
1796 01:27:01 It's even more adorablethan the one you get
1797 01:27:03 when you're talking about plants.
1798 01:27:05 And it was very obviousseeing you two together today.
1799 01:27:12 [chuckles]
1800 01:27:13 But, I… I really…
1801 01:27:15 You like me and I… I like you.
1802 01:27:18 I think part of the reasonyou've been trying to convince yourself
1803 01:27:22 there's something between us is…
1804 01:27:25 you wanna move back here, and I get it.
1805 01:27:30 But I don't wanna be that guy,and you don't need me to be that guy
1806 01:27:34 because everything you want is right here.
1807 01:27:39 Your family and Nick.
1808 01:27:45 That's really scary.
1809 01:27:49 "Jump in. No fear."
1810 01:27:53 [mellow music playing]
1811 01:28:13 This was my hardware store for 38 years.
1812 01:28:17 Wow!
1813 01:28:18 I'm sure it's not easyseeing it empty like this.
1814 01:28:21 Uh, it's all right.
1815 01:28:24 I'm ready to retire.
1816 01:28:25 All it needs is a paint job,and it will be ready to go.
1817 01:28:29 [chuckles]
1818 01:28:38 -Nick!-[door slams shut]
1819 01:28:40 Nick!
1820 01:28:41 [suspenseful music rising]
1821 01:28:46 [panting]
1822 01:28:53 [exhales]
1823 01:29:23 Come on! Oh, come on!
1824 01:29:34 [tires screech]
1825 01:29:36 Is that our rental car?
1826 01:30:00 -[door closes]-Hey.
1827 01:30:01 Why aren't you responding to my textsor called me back?
1828 01:30:04 I texted you back.
1829 01:30:07 [exhales]
1830 01:30:08 Oh. What took you so long?
1831 01:30:11 I didn't see it.I mean, I've been painting and you…
1832 01:30:15 You first texted meeight minutes ago. [chuckles]
1833 01:30:17 -Well, I thought you were leaving.-I was. I am.
1834 01:30:21 I just needed to kill time.
1835 01:30:23 Good, 'cause I, uh…
1836 01:30:25 [sighs] …because, um, I gotta--
1837 01:30:28 Okay, take a moment.Catch your breath. [chuckles]
1838 01:30:33 And while you do that, uh…
1839 01:30:37 I have something to give you,
1840 01:30:40 your Christmas present.
1841 01:30:42 We don't do Christmas presents.
1842 01:30:43 This year is different,'cause you're moving back here.
1843 01:30:48 So…
1844 01:30:51 this is your present. [chuckles]
1845 01:30:54 I negotiated a good deal on the rent,and I'm paying the first six months.
1846 01:30:57 So you can open up the plant storeyou've always wanted.
1847 01:30:59 Huh…
1848 01:31:03 I… uh…
1849 01:31:06 With what money?
1850 01:31:08 -The book money.-But you're saving that for a rainy day.
1851 01:31:11 I was saving it for something important.
1852 01:31:13 And…
1853 01:31:17 you're important.
1854 01:31:20 [chuckles] And guess what?
1855 01:31:23 It's not a rainy day.
1856 01:31:25 It's a snowy day.
1857 01:31:31 I'm in love with you too.
1858 01:31:33 [romantic music playing]
1859 01:31:37 I always have been. I just needed…
1860 01:31:40 Uh, it took a little, like,some help to kinda… realize it.
1861 01:31:47 [scoffs] I don't understand.
1862 01:31:49 That wasn't clear?
1863 01:31:50 When I said I was in love with you before,
1864 01:31:53 you said you wanted to move back homeand didn't include me in those plans.
1865 01:31:56 Then you invited me to go outwith you and James
1866 01:31:59 and I didn't get,"I'm in love with you too" from that.
1867 01:32:02 You said you wouldn't leave L.A.
1868 01:32:04 I never said that.I said I'd miss you if you moved here.
1869 01:32:07 -That implies that you're not moving here.-You never asked.
1870 01:32:10 I know. I was scared.
1871 01:32:11 I was scared too.
1872 01:32:12 [romantic music soars]
1873 01:32:31 I can't believe this.
1874 01:32:33 What?
1875 01:32:34 I got you an entire store,and you haven't even said thank you.
1876 01:32:38 I love it. It's perfect.
1877 01:32:43 I hope you'll help me start it.
1878 01:32:45 'Cause let's face it,I might be good with plants,
1879 01:32:48 but I don't know how
1880 01:32:49 -to build a shelf or, like…-[chuckles]
1881 01:32:52 …anything.
1882 01:32:53 You need your Tasker.
1883 01:32:57 I need you.
1884 01:33:09 You really okay to move here?
1885 01:33:10 Why not?
1886 01:33:12 I mean, I can work from anywhere.
1887 01:33:15 In fact, it wasn't until I got herethat I started writing the new book.
1888 01:33:19 -[gasps] You did?-Yeah.
1889 01:33:22 I can help you start this place,but I'm gonna be busy with my own thing,
1890 01:33:27 especially with all the notesSimon and Sam are gonna give me.
1891 01:33:31 You ready to be aroundmy family all the time?
1892 01:33:36 I've been ready for a familyfor a long time.
1893 01:33:41 I can't wait to tell them.
1894 01:33:44 That's what we came here to doin the first place, right?
1895 01:33:47 -Yeah, and now we're not liars.-Mm.
1896 01:33:52 ["The Christmas Waltz"by Nancy Wilson playing]
1897 01:33:55 -♪ It's that time of year ♪-[indistinct chattering]
1898 01:33:59 ♪ When the world falls in love ♪
1899 01:34:03 ♪ Every song you hear seems to say ♪
1900 01:34:10 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1901 01:34:14 ♪ May your New Year dreams ♪
1902 01:34:18 ♪ Come true ♪
1903 01:34:20 ♪ And this song of mine ♪
1904 01:34:23 ♪ In three-quarter time… ♪
1905 01:34:28 Simon, Sam, you guys gotone more present to open.
1906 01:34:41 The new Emmett book?
1907 01:34:42 It's the first draft,
1908 01:34:43 but I wanna know what you guys thinkbefore I send it to my publisher.
1909 01:34:47 "Emmett at the Christmas Hotel."Is it happy at the end like I said?
1910 01:34:51 You gotta read it.
1911 01:34:55 "And Peter and Nick and Emmettmoved to New Hampshire."
1912 01:35:01 And Peter and Nick and Emmettmove to New Hampshire.
1913 01:35:06 [gasp]
1914 01:35:08 -Together.-[gasps]
1915 01:35:10 Together together.
1916 01:35:12 This is… this the best Christmas present,well, ever.
1917 01:35:16 [both chuckle]
1918 01:35:17 -This is the best Christmas present ever.-Mm.
1919 01:35:22 [squealing, cheering]
1920 01:35:37 That's nice!
1921 01:35:44 -[upbeat music playing]-[crowd cheering, whistling]
1922 01:35:49 ♪ Can you believe I'm single ♪
1923 01:35:52 I know.
1924 01:35:53 ♪ Neither can I ♪
1925 01:35:55 Thank you.
1926 01:35:56 ♪ I walk up and downEvery block in this town ♪
1927 01:36:00 ♪ Astounded people pass me by'Cause even though Kris Kringle ♪
1928 01:36:05 Yeah.
1929 01:36:06 ♪ Would probably agree ♪
1930 01:36:09 ♪ You'd be so happy to unwrap me ♪
1931 01:36:13 ♪ Underneath your Christmas tree ♪
1932 01:36:17 ♪ But, hey, it's okay ♪
1933 01:36:19 ♪ 'Cause, oh, what fun it is to stay ♪
1934 01:36:23 ♪ Riding solo, single all the way ♪
1935 01:36:28 True story.
1936 01:36:29 ♪ You can take me to a Christmas party ♪
1937 01:36:33 ♪ Oh, I can trim your mama's tree ♪
1938 01:36:36 ♪ I can plow your daddy's driveway ♪
1939 01:36:39 ♪ If that's what you ask of me ♪
1940 01:36:41 Hello.
1941 01:36:42 ♪ And people tell meI'm a good French kisser ♪
1942 01:36:45 ♪ Ah, something I just thoughtYou should know ♪
1943 01:36:48 ♪ If that piques your interest ♪
1944 01:36:50 ♪ Yeah, well, I whip out my mistletoe ♪
1945 01:36:55 ♪ But, hey, it's okay ♪
1946 01:36:58 ♪ Oh, what fun it is to stay ♪
1947 01:37:01 ♪ Riding solo, single all the way ♪
1948 01:37:05 Happy Holidays!
1949 01:37:07 ♪ Yeah, I'm all right, I'll be fine ♪
1950 01:37:11 ♪ Honey, it's your loss, not mine ♪
1951 01:37:14 ♪ Happy Holidays, I'll show you the way ♪
1952 01:37:18 That's wonderful. Love this lady.
1953 01:37:21 ♪ Sometimes what you're searching forWas right there all along ♪
1954 01:37:27 ♪ And all it takes isThe voice of an angel like me ♪
1955 01:37:30 ♪ Singing you some Christmas song ♪
1956 01:37:32 That's sexy!
1957 01:37:33 ♪ And suddenly you realize ♪
1958 01:37:36 ♪ All this time right before your eyes ♪
1959 01:37:39 ♪ Was the one thingYou've been blind to see ♪
1960 01:37:42 ♪ And yes, that thing was me ♪
1961 01:37:45 ♪ Oh yes, that thing is me ♪
1962 01:37:49 ♪ Okay, so I lied ♪
1963 01:37:52 ♪ I want someone by my side ♪
1964 01:37:55 ♪ Wakin' me up on Christmas Day ♪
1965 01:37:58 ♪ And rolling their eyesAt the things I say ♪
1966 01:38:02 ♪ Netflixing and chilling with me ♪
1967 01:38:05 ♪ And watching the creditsNo one ever will see ♪
1968 01:38:08 ♪ Together forever, probably ♪
1969 01:38:11 ♪ Just a couple of people who used to be ♪
1970 01:38:15 ♪ Single all the way ♪
1971 01:38:23 I love you.
1972 01:38:25 [uplifting music playing]