留校联盟 The Holdovers(2023)(EN)Subtitles

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1 00:00:27 ♪ ♪
2 00:00:46 CHOIR LEADER: Can I hearthe opening word: ♪ O... ♪
3 00:00:50 Here we go. One, two, three.
4 00:00:52 CHOIR LEADER and STUDENTS:♪ O... ♪
5 00:00:56 CHOIR LEADER:Very good.
6 00:00:57 Remember, the text is first.
7 00:01:00 "In the beginning was the Word."
8 00:01:01 So the text is whatyou're concentrating on.
9 00:01:04 Make it part of the music.
10 00:01:07 - Let's all breathe in.- (students inhale)
11 00:01:09 - Breathe out.- (students exhale)
12 00:01:11 Excellent. Now, let's hearthe opening chord.
13 00:01:15 ♪ O... ♪
14 00:01:20 Good. Middle voices,a little bit more.
15 00:01:22 Higher voices are excellent.
16 00:01:24 Bass, a little more breath.
17 00:01:25 Try again.
18 00:01:27 ♪ O... ♪
19 00:01:30 Okay, let's run the first verse.
20 00:01:32 One...
21 00:01:34 ♪ O little town of Bethlehem ♪
22 00:01:39 ♪ How still we see thee lie ♪
23 00:01:45 ♪ Above thy deepand dreamless sleep ♪
24 00:01:50 ♪ The silent stars go by ♪
25 00:01:56 ♪ Yet in thy dark streetsshineth ♪
26 00:02:01 ♪ The everlasting light ♪
27 00:02:07 ♪ The hopes and fears ♪
28 00:02:09 ♪ Of all the years ♪
29 00:02:12 ♪ Are met in thee ♪
30 00:02:15 ♪ Tonight. ♪
31 00:02:20 Really great.Especially that T at the end.
32 00:02:22 All together.
33 00:02:24 Very, very good.
34 00:02:25 Excellent.
35 00:02:26 ("Silver Joy" by Damien Juradoplaying)
36 00:02:36 ♪ Let me sleep ♪
37 00:02:39 ♪ In the slumberof the morning ♪
38 00:02:42 (laughter, indistinct chatter)
39 00:02:45 ♪ There's nowhere I need to be ♪
40 00:02:49 ♪ And my dreamsstill are calling ♪
41 00:02:55 ♪ Lay your troubleson the ground ♪
42 00:03:01 ♪ No need to worryabout them now ♪
43 00:03:07 ♪ Daylight shakingthrough the trees ♪
44 00:03:13 ♪ Do not disturb me ♪
45 00:03:17 ♪ Let me be ♪
46 00:03:25 ♪ And if you needa place to land ♪
47 00:03:29 ♪ Come down when you are weary ♪
48 00:03:35 ♪ No more clouds to put away ♪
49 00:03:37 - ♪ In the slumber of the... ♪- (song stops abruptly)
50 00:03:40 (classical music playing)
51 00:04:01 (sighs)
52 00:04:06 (muttering)
53 00:04:11 Mm...
54 00:04:12 (grunts, chuckles)
55 00:04:16 (sighs, snickers)
56 00:04:18 Philistines.
57 00:04:20 Lazy, vulgar,rancid little Philistines.
58 00:04:26 - (knocking at door)- Hmm?
59 00:04:27 MISS CRANE:Mr. Hunham?
60 00:04:28 I'm busy right now.
61 00:04:30 Uh, Dr. Woodrupasked to see you.
62 00:04:34 (sighs)
63 00:04:36 (grunts)
64 00:04:44 What does he want?
65 00:04:46 Uh, I think it'sabout Christmas break.
66 00:04:48 I'll see him presently.
67 00:04:51 What's that?
68 00:04:53 Christmas cookies.
69 00:04:55 I made them for the faculty.
70 00:04:56 Well, not all the faculty.(laughs)
71 00:05:00 - Anyway, these are for you.- Oh. (chuckles)
72 00:05:08 ("Time Has Come Today" byThe Chambers Brothers playing)
73 00:05:11 ♪ Time has come today ♪
74 00:05:13 (lively chatter)
75 00:05:14 ♪ Young heartscan go their way ♪
76 00:05:19 ♪ Can't put it off another day ♪
77 00:05:23 ♪ I don't care what others say ♪
78 00:05:26 ♪ They think we don'tlisten anyway ♪
79 00:05:30 ♪ Time has come today ♪
80 00:05:33 ♪ Hey ♪
81 00:05:40 ♪ Oh... ♪
82 00:05:42 Tully.
83 00:05:43 What are you doingwith women's underwear?
84 00:05:45 It's the same swimsuitJames Bond wears
85 00:05:47 in On Her Majesty'sSecret Service.
86 00:05:48 It can't get more masculinethan that.
87 00:05:50 Why don't you just wear cutoffs?
88 00:05:52 Because I'm going to St. Kitts.
89 00:05:54 I'm not going to bethe only dickhead
90 00:05:56 on the beach wearing cutoffs.
91 00:05:57 (laughs):Oh. Look out, everyone.
92 00:05:59 Tully's going to St. Kitts.
93 00:06:01 They still look like panties.
94 00:06:04 You're right, Crandall.You caught me.
95 00:06:06 They're your mother's panties.
96 00:06:07 Tell her thanksfor the good times!
97 00:06:09 Hey, Tully.
98 00:06:11 Hey, where are my cigarettes?
99 00:06:12 Your cigarettes?
100 00:06:14 You stole my fucking cigarettes.
101 00:06:15 I resentthat baseless accusation.
102 00:06:17 Cut the shit.
103 00:06:18 I have no cigarettes now.
104 00:06:19 And Briggs says you suddenlyhad five of them
105 00:06:21 to trade for a skin mag.
106 00:06:22 I don't indulge in pornography.
107 00:06:24 I get enough of the real thing.
108 00:06:26 Especially with Crandall's mom!
109 00:06:29 Hey, Kountze.
110 00:06:30 Ten dollars for this?
111 00:06:32 Looks more like a nickel bag.
112 00:06:33 Don't buy that, Harriman.He's ripping you off.
113 00:06:35 - Plus, it's ditch weed.- Fuck you, Tully.
114 00:06:37 This shit's premium weed,all right?
115 00:06:39 And unlike you, I'm stuck here.
116 00:06:41 It's got to last methrough Christmas.
117 00:06:43 Take pity on him, Harriman.
118 00:06:44 He's a poor little Christmasorphan with nowhere to go.
119 00:06:47 Little Christmas orphanneeds his pot and porn.
120 00:07:01 Ten minutes, ladies.
121 00:07:04 Ten minutes.
122 00:07:08 ("Silver Joy" by Damien Juradoresumes)
123 00:07:16 (quiet chatter)
124 00:07:22 ♪ Let me sleep ♪
125 00:07:25 ♪ In the slumber of tomorrow ♪
126 00:07:31 ♪ There's nowherewe need to be ♪
127 00:07:35 ♪ That will not be there after ♪
128 00:07:38 (lively, indistinct chatter)
129 00:07:40 ♪ Daylight shakingthrough the trees ♪
130 00:07:47 ♪ Do not disturb me ♪
131 00:07:50 ♪ Let me be ♪
132 00:07:54 ♪ Keep me with youon the ground ♪
133 00:08:00 ♪ All of my worriesbehind me now ♪
134 00:08:07 ♪ And be sure to wake me when ♪
135 00:08:14 ♪ Eternity begins. ♪
136 00:08:19 (indistinct chatter continues)
137 00:08:22 I can't believeyou got out of it.
138 00:08:25 Luck of the Irish.
139 00:08:26 I thought this was your year.
140 00:08:28 It was.
141 00:08:29 I told Woodrupmy mother has lupus.
142 00:08:31 Does she?
143 00:08:33 I don't know. Probably.
144 00:08:35 We don't talkabout those things.
145 00:08:38 So, who got stuck with it?
146 00:08:40 Who do you think?
147 00:08:43 MR. ROSENSWIEG:That poor walleyed bastard.
148 00:08:50 (pen scratching on paper)
149 00:08:51 (sighs)
150 00:09:05 Rémy Martin. Louis XIII.
151 00:09:07 Christmas gift fromthe Board of Trustees.
152 00:09:09 Oh, how generous of them.
153 00:09:11 Thank you againfor doing this, Hunham.
154 00:09:13 I wouldn't have askedif it weren't an emergency.
155 00:09:16 Oh, Mr. Endicott's mother, right.
156 00:09:19 What a tragedy.
157 00:09:20 It's not as though you had plansto leave campus anyway.
158 00:09:23 And, of course, there's a nicelittle bonus in it for you.
159 00:09:26 Well... (sighs) "Non nobissolum nati sumus," I suppose.
160 00:09:33 "Not for ourselves aloneare we born."
161 00:09:38 I'm guessing that's Cicero.
162 00:09:40 Cicero, yes.
163 00:09:42 (chuckling): Very good, Hardy.You remembered.
164 00:09:52 There'll be just four boysholding over this year.
165 00:09:55 Mm-hmm.
166 00:09:57 Oh, yes. I knowa couple of these reprobates.
167 00:10:00 Let's be a little more elasticin our assessment, shall we?
168 00:10:05 It's hard enough for them to beaway from home on the holidays.
169 00:10:07 Latitude is the last thingthese boys need.
170 00:10:11 Paul, at your core,you're an excellent teacher,
171 00:10:16 but your approach to thestudents is rather traditional.
172 00:10:19 This school was founded in 1797.
173 00:10:21 I thought traditionwas our stock in trade.
174 00:10:24 - Then let's call it hidebound.- Ah.
175 00:10:25 You know, unwavering,resistant to...
176 00:10:28 Yes, yes, yes, I knowwhat "hidebound" means.
177 00:10:31 Uh, I get it.
178 00:10:32 You're still angrythat I failed Jordan Osgood.
179 00:10:35 Senator Osgood was very upset
180 00:10:38 when Princeton rescindedJordan's acceptance, yes.
181 00:10:41 And I've continued tohave to deal with the fallout.
182 00:10:43 Hardy, are we really supposedto let these boys just skate by
183 00:10:47 as long as Daddy buildsa new gymnasium?
184 00:10:49 Of course not.That's not who we are.
185 00:10:51 But we can't be ignorantto politics.
186 00:10:53 That boy is too dumbto pour piss out of a boot.
187 00:10:56 A genuine troglodyte.
188 00:10:58 Jesus Christ, Paul.
189 00:11:00 He was a legacy and the sonof one of our biggest donors.
190 00:11:03 Ever think his dadmight be expecting
191 00:11:05 a little considerationfor his dollar?
192 00:11:07 And he got it-- a first-classeducation for his son.
193 00:11:11 Oh, come on, Hardy.
194 00:11:12 As Dr. Greene used to say,"Our one true purpose
195 00:11:16 is to produce young menof good character."
196 00:11:19 I don't care whatDr. Greene used to say.
197 00:11:21 "And we cannot sacrificeour integrity
198 00:11:23 on the altarof their entitlement."
199 00:11:24 I'm just trying to instillbasic academic discipline.
200 00:11:28 That's my job. Isn't it yours?
201 00:11:31 It was.
202 00:11:33 Until I became headmaster
203 00:11:35 and saw that it's not so simpleto keep the damn school afloat.
204 00:11:38 I begged you, begged youto give the kid a C minus.
205 00:11:42 (chuckles):No.
206 00:11:44 There are instructors herewho will do that.
207 00:11:45 I am not one of them.
208 00:11:51 Here's the manualand a full set of keys.
209 00:11:55 Everything you need to knowis in there.
210 00:11:57 Your only task is to ensure
211 00:11:59 the boys' absolute safetyand good condition.
212 00:12:02 And at least pretend to bea human being.
213 00:12:06 Please.
214 00:12:08 It's Christmas.
215 00:12:10 (bells jingling)
216 00:12:12 ♪ ♪
217 00:12:15 Fuck this half-day bullshit.
218 00:12:17 Where the hell is Walleye?
219 00:12:19 He's probably jerking offin the Cobb salad.
220 00:12:22 - Why would he do that?- Because he's Walleye.
221 00:12:24 Who knows whatthat foul-smelling freak does?
222 00:12:27 But you went straightto the Cobb salad.
223 00:12:29 I mean, do you know something?
224 00:12:31 Because I eat that Cobb salad.
225 00:12:33 Salve, gentlemen.
226 00:12:35 Your final exams.
227 00:12:39 (Paul clears throat)
228 00:12:41 (whistling Wagner's"Ride of the Valkyries")
229 00:13:06 (whistling stops)
230 00:13:11 Hmm.
231 00:13:13 I can tell by your facesthat many of you
232 00:13:15 are shocked at the outcome.
233 00:13:17 I, on the other hand, am not,because I have had
234 00:13:20 the misfortuneof teaching you this semester.
235 00:13:23 And even withmy ocular limitations,
236 00:13:26 I witnessed firsthand
237 00:13:28 your glazed,uncomprehending expressions.
238 00:13:31 Sir, I don't understand.
239 00:13:34 That's glaringly apparent.
240 00:13:36 No, it's... (sighs)I can't fail this class.
241 00:13:39 Oh, don't sell yourself short,Mr. Kountze.
242 00:13:41 I truly believe that you can.
243 00:13:43 I'm supposed to go to Cornell.
244 00:13:45 Unlikely.
245 00:13:47 Please, sir.My dad's going to flip out.
246 00:13:49 (students murmuring)
247 00:13:54 All right. All right.
248 00:13:57 Uh, in the spirit of the season,
249 00:13:59 I suppose the mostconstructive way
250 00:14:01 of dealing withyour shortcomings
251 00:14:03 is to offer a makeup exam.
252 00:14:06 You'll all get a second runat this after break.
253 00:14:09 (students sighing, murmuring)
254 00:14:12 Of course, it will notbe the same exam.
255 00:14:15 You will now be responsiblefor new material as well.
256 00:14:17 (students groaning, murmuring)
257 00:14:19 Your grade will bean average of the two.
258 00:14:21 Please open your booksto chapter six.
259 00:14:24 The Peloponnesian War, gentlemen.
260 00:14:26 You've already met Pericles.
261 00:14:28 Now prepare yourselvesto meet Demosthenes.
262 00:14:31 No offense, sir,but is this really
263 00:14:34 the best time to be startinga new chapter?
264 00:14:36 I mean, we all appreciate the,uh, makeup exam gesture,
265 00:14:41 but our families are here.
266 00:14:43 You know, most teachershave already canceled class.
267 00:14:46 We have chapel in 40 minutes,then we're out of here.
268 00:14:48 Mm. -I mean,our heads are elsewhere.
269 00:14:51 And where exactlyis your head, Mr. Tully?
270 00:14:54 Um, I don't know.
271 00:14:56 St. Kitts. (chuckles)
272 00:14:57 (chuckles)
273 00:14:58 Yes, indeed.
274 00:15:00 I see you've broughtyour valise.
275 00:15:03 Spot-on, sir.
276 00:15:04 It's just that it's beena really exhausting semester.
277 00:15:07 Getting into new material nowright before break?
278 00:15:11 Honestly, it's a little absurd.
279 00:15:14 Sir.
280 00:15:18 Well, I would hate to be absurd.
281 00:15:21 So let's just scuttlethe whole thing, shall we,
282 00:15:25 and let the originalgrades stand.
283 00:15:27 (students groaning, murmuring)
284 00:15:29 Uh, excuse me, sir.
285 00:15:31 I think, uh, we all likedthe first option better.
286 00:15:34 What'd you say the guy'sname was? Uh, Demosthe-who?
287 00:15:36 Of course, I still expect youto be familiar with chapter six
288 00:15:38 upon your return,so pack those textbooks, boys.
289 00:15:42 And if displeased,
290 00:15:44 take it up withyour champion-- Mr. Tully.
291 00:15:48 Dismissed.
292 00:15:50 (whistling"Ride of the Valkyries")
293 00:15:54 (students murmuring)
294 00:15:56 I got us out early, didn't I?
295 00:15:59 (church organ playing)
296 00:16:05 CHOIR and CONGREGATION:♪ Born thy people to deliver ♪
297 00:16:10 ♪ Born a child and yet a king ♪
298 00:16:15 ♪ Born to reign in us forever ♪
299 00:16:20 ♪ Now thy graciouskingdom bring. ♪
300 00:16:28 Please be seated.
301 00:16:32 Welcome, Barton students,faculty and parents.
302 00:16:36 I know you're all anxiousto start the holidays.
303 00:16:39 I can see the boysshifting in their seats.
304 00:16:42 - (laughter)- But before we release you
305 00:16:43 to your bountiful tablesand the blessings of family,
306 00:16:47 let us pray for thoseless fortunate than we.
307 00:16:51 Let us remember the poorand the helpless,
308 00:16:54 the cold, the hungryand the oppressed.
309 00:16:58 Extra reading over vacationand no makeup test?
310 00:17:01 Are you fucking kidding me?
311 00:17:03 Nice work, anus.
312 00:17:04 Can you not talk, please?I'm trying to pray.
313 00:17:06 You better prayI don't catch you alone,
314 00:17:08 because I will full-onnut-punch you.
315 00:17:11 Tone it down.
316 00:17:13 - Jesus can hear you.- PRIEST: ...and all those
317 00:17:15 who know notthe loving kindness of God.
318 00:17:17 Sorry to hear aboutyour mother, Endicott.
319 00:17:20 What?
320 00:17:21 Oh. Yes.
321 00:17:23 Thank you.
322 00:17:25 Yeah. We're all pulling for her.
323 00:17:27 PRIEST:...and your grace.
324 00:17:28 And finally, let us prayfor the soul of Curtis Lamb,
325 00:17:32 Barton class of 1969.
326 00:17:35 Just this year,Curtis gave his life valiantly
327 00:17:38 in the service of his country.
328 00:17:40 And let us once again extendour deepest condolences
329 00:17:43 to one of the most cherishedmembers of the Barton family,
330 00:17:46 his mother Mary.
331 00:17:49 Mary, we remember Curtis
332 00:17:51 as such an outstandingand promising young man,
333 00:17:54 and we know this holiday season
334 00:17:57 will be especially difficultwithout him.
335 00:17:59 Please know that weaccompany you in your grief.
336 00:18:05 May the all-powerful Godwho protected Abraham
337 00:18:07 when he left his native landprotect all our brave soldiers
338 00:18:11 until they are deliveredsafely home to us.
339 00:18:15 We ask this throughChrist our Lord.
340 00:18:17 Amen.
341 00:18:19 CONGREGATION:Amen.
342 00:18:21 I wish you alla very Merry Christmas.
343 00:18:23 Or, as the case may be,a very Happy Hanukkah.
344 00:18:27 (light laughter)
345 00:18:29 (organ playing"Joy to the World")
346 00:18:37 (quiet chatter)
347 00:18:42 DR. WOODRUP: Congressman,Merry Christmas to you.
348 00:18:45 (overlapping chatter,Christmas greetings)
349 00:18:48 Merry Christmas, everyone.
350 00:18:50 Merry Christmas.
351 00:18:51 Hey. Good to see you.
352 00:18:53 Nice to see you.Merry Christmas.
353 00:18:55 (chatter continues)
354 00:19:01 Angus Tully.
355 00:19:03 You have a phone call.
356 00:19:10 ANGUS:You're telling me this now?
357 00:19:12 JUDY (over phone):Sweetheart, listen.
358 00:19:14 I know it's last minute,and I am...
359 00:19:16 I'm absolutely heartbroken,
360 00:19:18 but could you pleasesee your way
361 00:19:19 to staying at school over breakjust this once?
362 00:19:22 Stanley has been workingso hard,
363 00:19:24 and-and we've had no timefor a honeymoon.
364 00:19:27 You guys have been marriedsince July.
365 00:19:29 You've had all these months.
366 00:19:30 Something's always come up.
367 00:19:32 I know it's a lot to ask,
368 00:19:34 but you knowhow lonely I've been.
369 00:19:37 I've been lonely too.
370 00:19:38 And what about Boston?
371 00:19:40 You promised on the waywe'd spend some time in Boston.
372 00:19:43 Angus, listen to me.
373 00:19:45 This is our new family, okay?
374 00:19:47 I know you miss your father--I do, too--
375 00:19:50 but there's someone newin my life.
376 00:19:52 It's just this once, darling.
377 00:19:55 We'll be togetherat spring break,
378 00:19:56 and we'll have the whole summer.
379 00:19:58 Fuck the summer,and fuck Stanley.
380 00:20:00 Angus.
381 00:20:01 Are you kidding me?
382 00:20:03 I'm just supposed to stay here?
383 00:20:05 (Judy sighs)
384 00:20:06 Mom, please don't do this.
385 00:20:09 Please.
386 00:20:11 PAUL:I suspect that, like me,
387 00:20:13 this is not how you wantedto spend your holidays,
388 00:20:16 but such arethe vicissitudes of life.
389 00:20:19 And as Barton men,
390 00:20:21 we learn to confrontour challenges
391 00:20:23 with heads held highand with a spirit
392 00:20:25 of courage and good fellowship.
393 00:20:27 Uh, in strict accordancewith the dictates
394 00:20:29 of the manual, of course.
395 00:20:34 Mr. Tully,are you joining us as well?
396 00:20:37 What happened to St. Kitts?
397 00:20:40 Something came up.
398 00:20:47 (suitcase thuds loudly on floor)
399 00:20:50 (Paul clears throat)
400 00:20:52 So, for the next two weeks,
401 00:20:54 we will be followinga standard school schedule...
402 00:20:56 Sir? Uh, sir, we're on vacation.
403 00:20:59 ...which means we will betaking our meals together,
404 00:21:01 and you will observeregular hours of study.
405 00:21:03 Study? Are you kidding me?
406 00:21:06 The Peloponnesian War awaits,Mr. Kountze.
407 00:21:08 You and Mr. Tully.
408 00:21:09 The rest of you can get a jumpon the next semester.
409 00:21:12 It'll pay off. You'll see.
410 00:21:14 We're already holding over,
411 00:21:15 and now we're beingpunished for it?
412 00:21:17 You will be affordedlimited windows for recreation
413 00:21:19 and supervisedphysical activity.
414 00:21:22 The gym's not even open yet.
415 00:21:23 Yeah, they've only lacqueredhalf the floor.
416 00:21:25 PAUL:Fresh air will do you good.
417 00:21:27 It's like 15 degrees outside.
418 00:21:29 And the Romans bathed nakedin the freezing Tiber.
419 00:21:32 Adversity builds character,Mr. Tully.
420 00:21:35 Uh, speaking of which,the school will be cutting heat
421 00:21:38 to dormitoriesand faculty housing,
422 00:21:39 so we'll all be bunkingin the infirmary.
423 00:21:42 (sighing):Oh, God. Geez.
424 00:21:44 ("Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht(Silent Night)" playing)
425 00:21:46 ANGUS:This is the most bullshit ever.
426 00:21:48 If we have to stay,why'd we have to draw Walleye?
427 00:21:50 JASON: Uh, you knowhe used to be a student, right?
428 00:21:53 Yeah, that's why he knowshow to inflict
429 00:21:54 maximum pain on us,the sadistic fuck.
430 00:21:56 TEDDY:At least we didn't draw Decker.
431 00:21:58 He'd be perving all over us.
432 00:22:01 ANGUS:Hey, guys, hold up for a second.
433 00:22:05 Want one?
434 00:22:07 TEDDY:No. I got something else.
435 00:22:11 Give me that.
436 00:22:13 Hey, don't smoke that out here.
437 00:22:15 I don't want to get bustedby Walleye.
438 00:22:16 TEDDY:Don't be such a pussy.
439 00:22:18 ANGUS: I'm not a pussy.I just don't want
440 00:22:19 to end up at Fork Unionpaying for your mistake.
441 00:22:24 Teddy Kountze.
442 00:22:25 Jason Smith.
443 00:22:26 Yeah, I know who you are.
444 00:22:28 Want to hit this?
445 00:22:30 Uh, yeah.
446 00:22:35 You got a great arm, man.
447 00:22:37 Yeah, well, it's just football.
448 00:22:38 So, how'd you get stuckholding over?
449 00:22:40 I'm supposed to be skiingwith my folks up at Haystack,
450 00:22:42 but my dad put his foot down,
451 00:22:43 said I can't come homeunless I cut my hair.
452 00:22:45 (scoffs) So why don't youjust cut your hair?
453 00:22:47 Civil disobedience, man.
454 00:22:49 ANGUS:Yeah, right.
455 00:22:51 JASON: No, he's cool.It's just a battle of wills.
456 00:22:53 Still, I was kind of hopinghe'd cave first,
457 00:22:55 because the powder up atHaystack is so sweet right now.
458 00:22:59 What about you, Mr. Moto?
459 00:23:01 Why are you here?
460 00:23:02 Uh, no. Uh, my name is Ye-Joon.
461 00:23:05 Uh, my family is in Korea,
462 00:23:06 and they think it's too farfor me to travel alone.
463 00:23:09 I figured it was because yourrickshaw was broken. (laughs)
464 00:23:12 Uh, what-what's a rickshaw?
465 00:23:15 - You're an asshole, Kountze.- (sighs)
466 00:23:16 Your mind's a cesspooland a shallow one at that.
467 00:23:18 Who's the asshole, Tully?
468 00:23:20 You're the onewho blew up history.
469 00:23:22 Hey.
470 00:23:24 What's your story, man?
471 00:23:25 Alex Ollerman.
472 00:23:27 I'm here because my parentsare on a mission in Paraguay.
473 00:23:29 We're LDS.
474 00:23:31 JASON:Mormons, right?
475 00:23:33 Don't you guys wear some kindof like magic underwear?
476 00:23:36 ALEX:That's a common misconception.
477 00:23:37 Actually, it's calleda temple garment,
478 00:23:39 and we're only supposedto wear it when we...
479 00:23:41 Hey, what's up with the townies?
480 00:23:42 Hey, what are you doingwith our Christmas tree?
481 00:23:45 The school sold it back to us.
482 00:23:48 Scotch pine, still fresh.
483 00:23:49 MAN 2: Yeah, we're going toput it back on the lot.
484 00:23:51 We do it every year.
485 00:23:53 This is the most bullshit ever.
486 00:24:00 Hello, Mary. (sighs)
487 00:24:02 Mr. Hunham.
488 00:24:03 I heard you got stuck withbabysitting duty this year.
489 00:24:06 How'd you manage that?
490 00:24:08 Oh, I don't know.
491 00:24:10 I suppose I failed someonewho richly deserved it.
492 00:24:12 Oh, the Osgood kid?
493 00:24:15 Yeah, he was a real asshole.
494 00:24:17 Rich and dumb.
495 00:24:18 Popular combination around here.
496 00:24:20 It's a plague.
497 00:24:22 Uh, and you?
498 00:24:23 You'll be here, too?
499 00:24:25 All by my lonesome.
500 00:24:27 My little sister Peggyand her husband invited me
501 00:24:29 to go visit them at Roxbury,but I feel like it's too soon.
502 00:24:33 Like Curtis will thinkthat I'm abandoning him.
503 00:24:36 You know, this is the last place
504 00:24:38 that my baby and Iwere together,
505 00:24:41 - not including the bus station.- Yeah.
506 00:24:45 Well, I look forwardto your fine cooking.
507 00:24:48 Oh, no, no. Don't do that.
508 00:24:50 All we've got iswhatever is in that walk-in.
509 00:24:52 No new deliveries till January.
510 00:24:54 Hmm.
511 00:24:58 You mind if I, um...
512 00:25:01 - You want some of that?- Mm.
513 00:25:03 - All right.- (chuckles) Thank you.
514 00:25:06 (Paul clears throat)
515 00:25:07 - You know this is a necessity.- Oh, yes.
516 00:25:10 (jingle playing over radio)
517 00:25:13 ♪ WABC ♪
518 00:25:15 ♪ Top 100 of the year. ♪
519 00:25:18 DISC JOCKEY:Now 17.
520 00:25:20 Yeah, by Shocking Blue,it's called "Venus."
521 00:25:23 ("Venus" by Shocking Blueplaying)
522 00:25:31 ♪ A goddess ona mountaintop... ♪
523 00:25:33 - Where's my photo?- What photo?
524 00:25:35 I think you know what photo,and you stole it.
525 00:25:37 I resent thatbaseless accusation.
526 00:25:39 Give me my goddamn picture.
527 00:25:41 Hey, what's your problem, Tully?
528 00:25:43 You homesick?
529 00:25:45 Huh? Gonna cry?
530 00:25:46 Little boy misses his mommy?
531 00:25:48 Fuck you, Kountze.
532 00:25:50 Why are you even here, anyway?Where's your family?
533 00:25:51 We're renovating our house,all right?
534 00:25:53 It's all torn up.
535 00:25:54 They're storing the toolsand stuff in my room.
536 00:25:56 That's what they told you?
537 00:25:57 It's winter, idiot.
538 00:25:59 Nobody renovates their housein the winter.
539 00:26:01 Your parents don'twant you around
540 00:26:03 because you're a fuckinginsecure sociopath.
541 00:26:05 JASON:Hey, take it easy, guys.
542 00:26:07 A what?
543 00:26:08 I mean, who'd want youfor a son?
544 00:26:09 That's why you grind everybody,
545 00:26:11 because deep downyou know you're an asshole.
546 00:26:13 Plus, academically,you're a disaster.
547 00:26:16 I mean, if I were your parents,I'd never want you home again.
548 00:26:20 The only tool in your roomis you.
549 00:26:22 (yells, grunts)
550 00:26:25 (grunting, muttering)
551 00:26:29 Bitch.
552 00:26:33 - Come on! Come on!- JASON: Hey, hey, hey!
553 00:26:35 All right, all right.
554 00:26:36 Break it up. Break it up.Break it up.
555 00:26:44 They weren't fighting.
556 00:26:45 I see.
557 00:26:47 And who started it--the not fighting?
558 00:26:49 Hmm? Mr. Tully,
559 00:26:51 perhaps you could shedsome light on the subject.
560 00:26:55 Mr. Kountze?
561 00:26:56 Mr. Smith?
562 00:26:58 Mr. Ollerman?
563 00:27:00 Mr. Park?
564 00:27:02 All right, then, uh, we'lldo it like the Roman legions.
565 00:27:06 Absent a confession,one man's sin
566 00:27:09 is every man's suffering.
567 00:27:11 For every minutethe truth is withheld,
568 00:27:14 you will all receivea detention.
569 00:27:16 And I thought all the Naziswere hiding in Argentina.
570 00:27:19 Stifle it, Tully.
571 00:27:23 Now, uh, in the firstof said detentions,
572 00:27:26 you will clean the library,top to bottom.
573 00:27:31 Scraping the undersideof the desks,
574 00:27:33 which are cakedwith snot and gum
575 00:27:37 and all manner of ancient,unspeakable proteins.
576 00:27:41 Ah, on your hands and knees,down in the dust,
577 00:27:44 breathing in the dead skinof generations of students
578 00:27:48 and desiccatedcockroach assholes.
579 00:27:52 It was Kountze!
580 00:27:53 (Alex panting)
581 00:27:55 Kountze started it.
582 00:27:58 Bravo, Mr. Ollerman.
583 00:28:00 Bravo.
584 00:28:03 (quiet, indistinct chatter)
585 00:28:12 (light laughter)
586 00:28:21 Lovely.
587 00:28:23 Thank you, Mary.
588 00:28:32 Didn't we alreadyhave this for lunch?
589 00:28:34 And it was crappy then.
590 00:28:35 PAUL:Consider yourselves lucky.
591 00:28:37 During the Third Punic campaign,149 to 146 BC,
592 00:28:41 the Romans laid siegeto Carthage
593 00:28:43 for three entire years.
594 00:28:45 - (door opens)- By the time it ended,
595 00:28:47 the Carthaginianswere reduced to eating sand
596 00:28:49 and drinking their own urine.
597 00:28:51 Hence the term "punitive."
598 00:28:55 Uh... (sniffs) Mary?
599 00:28:57 Maybe you would, uh...
600 00:28:59 maybe you would care to join us?
601 00:29:08 No, I'm all right. Thank you.
602 00:29:15 (door opens and closes)
603 00:29:18 I mean, I know she's sadabout her son and everything,
604 00:29:21 but still, she's getting paidto do a job,
605 00:29:24 and she should do it well, right?
606 00:29:28 But I guess, no matterhow bad a cook she is,
607 00:29:30 now they can never fire her.
608 00:29:32 Will you shut up!
609 00:29:37 You have no idea whatthat woman has been thr...
610 00:29:41 (sighs)
611 00:29:47 You know, Mr. Kountze,for most people,
612 00:29:49 life is like a henhouse ladder.
613 00:29:51 Shitty and short.
614 00:29:52 You were born lucky.
615 00:29:56 Maybe someday, you entitledlittle degenerates
616 00:29:58 will appreciate that.
617 00:30:00 If you don't,I feel sorry for you
618 00:30:02 and we will have failedto do our jobs.
619 00:30:05 Now, eat.
620 00:30:17 ♪ God rest ye merry, gentlemen ♪
621 00:30:21 ♪ Let nothing you dismay ♪
622 00:30:25 ♪ Remember Christ our Savior ♪
623 00:30:29 ♪ Was born on Christmas Day ♪
624 00:30:34 ♪ To save us allfrom Satan's power ♪
625 00:30:38 ♪ When we were gone astray ♪
626 00:30:42 ♪ O tidings of comfort and joy ♪
627 00:30:48 ♪ And joy ♪
628 00:30:50 ♪ O tidings of... ♪
629 00:30:53 BOB EUBANKS (over TV):That's right.
630 00:30:54 (cheering and applause over TV)
631 00:30:57 Next questionfor five points, girls.
632 00:30:59 What are the dimensionsof the car you drive most?
633 00:31:02 And that means width by length.
634 00:31:04 The dimensions of the caryou drive most. Jerry?
635 00:31:06 JERRY (over TV):It's pretty long.
636 00:31:08 Oh, let's see.Maybe, uh, 8 by 80?
637 00:31:11 (laughter over TV)
638 00:31:16 EUBANKS: What's the nameof your car, Union Pacific?
639 00:31:17 (Paul clears throat)
640 00:31:19 - Oh, good evening.- Good evening.
641 00:31:21 What's this?
642 00:31:23 You don't knowThe Newlywed Game?
643 00:31:25 No. -What planethave you been living on?
644 00:31:27 I don't really watch television.
645 00:31:29 It's a show wherethey ask couples questions
646 00:31:31 to see how wellthey know each other.
647 00:31:33 That sounds likecourting disaster.
648 00:31:35 Yeah, that'sthe whole damn point.
649 00:31:38 Sit down.
650 00:31:40 Come on.
651 00:31:41 Broaden your horizons.
652 00:31:46 (sighs)This is a rerun from July.
653 00:31:49 Which is why they're playingfor Weber barbecues
654 00:31:52 and picnic utensils.
655 00:31:53 - PAUL: Fascinating.- MARY: Mm-hmm.
656 00:31:56 EUBANKS: If we ever takeseparate vacations,
657 00:31:57 I am sending my wife to blank...
658 00:31:59 - Oh. Thank you.- Mm-hmm.
659 00:32:01 (chatter continues over TV)
660 00:32:06 So, how are the boys?
661 00:32:09 Broken in body and spirit.
662 00:32:13 Okay, well, it is the holidays,so, you know, go easy on them.
663 00:32:16 Oh, please.
664 00:32:18 They've had it easytheir whole lives.
665 00:32:20 You don't know that.
666 00:32:22 Did you?
667 00:32:25 Besides, everybody should bewith their people on Christmas.
668 00:32:28 - WOMAN: Hawaii, probably.- EUBANKS: Hawaii. All right.
669 00:32:29 He says he's gonna send youto Santa Ana
670 00:32:31 and he's going to Las Vegas.
671 00:32:33 MAN: Nobody can watch youin Siberia.
672 00:32:34 Where are you going?
673 00:32:36 - To Vegas.- Las Vegas?
674 00:32:38 - Yeah.- (sighs)
675 00:32:41 - No.- (audience murmurs, laughs)
676 00:32:43 Those two are going to geta divorce.
677 00:32:45 How do you know?
678 00:32:47 I recognize that lookof stale disappointment.
679 00:32:49 - (chuckling)- She hates him.
680 00:32:51 Oh.
681 00:32:53 How long were you married?
682 00:32:55 I was engagedto Curtis's father.
683 00:32:57 Mm. -But he diedbefore I gave birth.
684 00:33:00 Harold.
685 00:33:02 He worked in the shipyard.
686 00:33:04 And one day, they wascarrying this big, uh,
687 00:33:07 cargo pallet,and the cable snapped.
688 00:33:10 Hit him right across the head.
689 00:33:15 They were good men.
690 00:33:16 Both of them.
691 00:33:18 And neither of themmade it to 25.
692 00:33:21 My baby wasn't even 20.
693 00:33:25 I'm so sorry.
694 00:33:28 I took this jobwhen Curtis was small
695 00:33:30 because I wanted to ensure
696 00:33:32 that he was going to havea good education.
697 00:33:34 - You know he flourished here.- Yes. No, he was a great kid.
698 00:33:37 - I had him one semester.- Mm-hmm.
699 00:33:38 Very insightful.
700 00:33:40 Mm-hmm. He hated you.
701 00:33:43 He said you were a real asshole.
702 00:33:47 Well, uh, like I said...(chuckles)
703 00:33:50 sharp kid. Insightful.
704 00:33:55 He had his heart seton Swarthmore.
705 00:33:58 And he had the grades,but I didn't have the money.
706 00:34:01 Even with financial aid,it wasn't enough.
707 00:34:04 So, when he got called upand no student deferment,
708 00:34:08 off he went.
709 00:34:11 Do you know what he said to me?
710 00:34:13 He said,"Hey, Ma, look at the upside.
711 00:34:17 When I get discharged, I can goto college on the GI Bill."
712 00:34:24 College.
713 00:34:32 And here we are.
714 00:34:37 With my Curtisin the cold ground
715 00:34:39 and those boyssafe and warm in their beds.
716 00:34:43 It's like you said.
717 00:34:45 How'd you say it?
718 00:34:46 "Life is likea henhouse ladder."
719 00:34:48 - (Paul chuckles)- That's right.
720 00:34:50 I can hear everythingyou're saying from the kitchen.
721 00:34:53 Especially that Kountze kid.
722 00:34:54 Crown prince of allthe little assholes.
723 00:34:57 - (chuckles)- MAN (over TV): It's zero.
724 00:34:59 EUBANKS:Zero. She said it is zero!
725 00:35:00 Couple number one,Mike and Sherry McCray,
726 00:35:02 you are our grand prize winner!
727 00:35:04 (applause, cheering over TV)
728 00:35:13 All right, you fetid layabouts.
729 00:35:16 It's daylight in the swamp!
730 00:35:17 (clanging)
731 00:35:19 Arise!
732 00:35:20 (students groaning)
733 00:35:22 ("Carol of the Drum(Little Drummer Boy)" playing)
734 00:35:25 Speed, gentlemen.
735 00:35:27 Speed!
736 00:35:28 Without sufficient exercise,the body devours itself.
737 00:35:32 That's it!
738 00:35:34 Good.
739 00:35:37 (coughing)
740 00:35:39 ♪ Our finest gifts we bring,pa-rum pum pum pum ♪
741 00:35:41 (sniffs, coughs)
742 00:35:43 ♪ To lay before the King,pa-rum pum pum pum ♪
743 00:35:47 ♪ Rum pum pum pum,rum pum pum pum ♪
744 00:35:51 ♪ So to honor him,pa-rum pum pum pum ♪
745 00:35:56 ♪ When we come ♪
746 00:36:02 ♪ Baby Jesus... ♪
747 00:36:04 What about your car?
748 00:36:06 We can take it, go somewhere.Boston, maybe?
749 00:36:08 Nah, we'd get inso much trouble.
750 00:36:10 Face it. We're stuck.
751 00:36:12 If we just had some wayto get out of here.
752 00:36:15 - Yo.- Just split.
753 00:36:17 Well, you could put a chopperdown right in the quad.
754 00:36:20 What?
755 00:36:21 A helicopter, dumbass.
756 00:36:23 His old man's the CEOof Pratt & Whitney.
757 00:36:25 Yeah, he's got his own bird.
758 00:36:26 He takes it from Stamfordto the city every morning.
759 00:36:28 Lands it right in the backyard.
760 00:36:30 The pilot's name is Wild Bill.
761 00:36:31 - Wild Bill?- Yeah.
762 00:36:35 He flew up to Haystack with it.
763 00:36:37 Took the presentsand everything, minus me.
764 00:36:39 Flying with presents,like Santa Claus.
765 00:36:42 Yeah.
766 00:36:43 Just like Santa Claus.(whistles)
767 00:36:45 Hey.
768 00:36:47 Oh, let's go, let's go!
769 00:36:49 You know, if I were back homeright now in Provo,
770 00:36:53 it'd be really warm inside.
771 00:36:56 And my mom, she'd be making mebaked apples,
772 00:37:00 and the whole house would smelllike cinnamon and brown sugar.
773 00:37:04 That sounds so nice.
774 00:37:07 JASON:Touchdown!
775 00:37:08 (Teddy grunting)
776 00:37:11 Hey!
777 00:37:12 (laughs) That's what you get
778 00:37:13 for ratting me out,you little Mormon!
779 00:37:15 - (grunts, laughs)- ALEX: What?
780 00:37:18 TEDDY:Let's go!
781 00:37:19 What's Fork Union?
782 00:37:21 Uh, before, you said you don'twant to end up at Fork Union.
783 00:37:26 It's a military academyin Virginia.
784 00:37:29 That's where I'm going if I getkicked out of school again.
785 00:37:32 How many schoolshave you been kicked out of?
786 00:37:35 Three.
787 00:37:37 That's why I'm still a junior.
788 00:37:38 - Give or take a semester.- ALEX: It's gone!
789 00:37:42 My glove's gone.
790 00:37:43 Twisted fucker orphanedthat glove on purpose.
791 00:37:46 Left you with one so the losswould sting that much more.
792 00:37:54 ♪ ♪
793 00:38:12 ♪ ♪
794 00:38:14 (deep, shuddering breath)
795 00:38:31 ♪ ♪
796 00:38:48 (crying)
797 00:38:59 Hey.
798 00:39:02 You all right?
799 00:39:04 (voice shaking):I had a nightmare.
800 00:39:06 I get nightmares too.
801 00:39:08 I'm always falling or drowning.
802 00:39:11 Also...
803 00:39:13 (sobbing)
804 00:39:15 I had an accident.
805 00:39:23 Yeah, you did.
806 00:39:25 Shh. Stop crying.
807 00:39:27 If they hear you,they'll crucify you.
808 00:39:30 Which would be ironicsince you're Buddhist.
809 00:39:32 I know this isan excellent school,
810 00:39:35 and my brothers went here,
811 00:39:38 but I miss my family,
812 00:39:40 and I have no friends.
813 00:39:43 Yeah, well,friends are overrated.
814 00:39:48 I'll help you hide the sheetsin the morning, all right?
815 00:39:51 In the meantime, find a dry spotand try to get some sleep.
816 00:39:55 Thank you.
817 00:40:02 Fucking asparagus.
818 00:40:27 (clearing throat)
819 00:40:31 (whispering):Are you kidding me?
820 00:40:33 It's only 11:00,and he's already lit.
821 00:40:36 I can smell the whiskey on him.
822 00:40:37 Can you blame him?It's freezing in here.
823 00:40:40 It's fucking Greenland in here.
824 00:40:42 (helicopter whirringin distance)
825 00:40:58 What the hell is that?
826 00:41:00 (whirring continues)
827 00:41:25 JASON:I knew it!
828 00:41:26 He finally caved,the big softie.
829 00:41:30 Hey, any of you guyslike to ski?
830 00:41:34 ♪ ♪
831 00:41:38 PAUL:Thank you.
832 00:41:40 Goodbye, now.
833 00:41:42 (chatter continues indistinctly)
834 00:41:44 ♪ ♪
835 00:41:48 Yes!
836 00:41:56 Well, good news, gentlemen.
837 00:41:58 I was able to reach Dr. Woodrupand your parents.
838 00:42:01 Uh, most of them, anyway.
839 00:42:04 Try calling again.Just one more time, please.
840 00:42:07 There's no point.
841 00:42:08 The front desk saysthey're not answering.
842 00:42:10 He says they're awayon some excursion.
843 00:42:12 - Excursion.- (chuckles)
844 00:42:14 I'm as disappointed as you are,if not more so.
845 00:42:17 I could have been spendingthe rest of my vacation
846 00:42:19 reading mystery novels.
847 00:42:21 Maybe they're back now.Just call again, please.
848 00:42:25 Okay.
849 00:42:32 Happy holidays.
850 00:42:34 Same to you.
851 00:42:39 Take care, Tully.
852 00:42:42 I guess that justleaves you, huh?
853 00:42:44 Be sure to do all your homework.
854 00:42:48 Oh, almost forgot.
855 00:42:49 I found that pictureyou were looking for.
856 00:42:53 Merry Christmas, Mr. Tully.
857 00:42:58 (Teddy laughing)
858 00:43:02 Bye, Angus.
859 00:43:08 ♪ ♪
860 00:43:11 (indistinct chatter)
861 00:43:34 (Paul sighs)
862 00:43:37 Well, let's make the bestof it, shall we?
863 00:43:42 (sighs)
864 00:43:43 WOMAN (over TV):Oh, I suppose, um,
865 00:43:46 - Stan Laurel, maybe, because...- EUBANKS: Stan Laurel.
866 00:43:48 All right. Your husband saidhis favorite silent movie star
867 00:43:50 is Rudolph Valentino.
868 00:43:53 - Oh. He is good.- MAN: Well, yeah.
869 00:43:55 (laughter over TV)
870 00:43:57 (Paul chuckles)
871 00:43:58 EUBANKS: The last of ourfive-point questions, girls...
872 00:44:00 How about you?You ever been married?
873 00:44:02 (scoffs, chuckles)
874 00:44:05 No. I did get close once.
875 00:44:08 Right after college.
876 00:44:10 MARY:And?
877 00:44:12 PAUL:We came to our senses.
878 00:44:14 This is not exactly a faceforged for romance, Mary.
879 00:44:19 Yeah, and the...
880 00:44:21 And, you know...
881 00:44:23 What?
882 00:44:25 Nothing.
883 00:44:27 I don't know.I like being alone.
884 00:44:30 I've always found myself drawnto the aesthetic.
885 00:44:34 Like a monk.
886 00:44:35 The forgoingof sensual pleasures
887 00:44:38 for the achievementof spiritual goals.
888 00:44:40 - Spiritual goals?- Mm-hmm.
889 00:44:41 - You?- (chuckles)
890 00:44:43 What spiritual goalsare we talking about?
891 00:44:44 You go to church?
892 00:44:45 - Mm, only when required.- Exactly.
893 00:44:47 When's the last timeyou even left campus?
894 00:44:50 - I go into town all the time.- Oh.
895 00:44:52 For groceriesand various errands
896 00:44:54 - and appointments.- Mm-hmm.
897 00:44:55 (sighs, stammers)
898 00:44:58 Okay, yes,I don't leave campus often.
899 00:45:00 I don't really feel the need.
900 00:45:02 Let me ask you something.
901 00:45:04 If you could go anywhereon Earth, where would you go?
902 00:45:07 (chuckling):Oh.
903 00:45:09 Greece, Italy,
904 00:45:11 Egypt, Peru, Carthage.
905 00:45:14 Tunisia now, of course.
906 00:45:16 In college, I starteda monograph on Carthage.
907 00:45:19 I'd like to finish that someday.
908 00:45:22 (sighs) A monograph islike a book, o-only shorter.
909 00:45:25 I know what a monograph is.
910 00:45:27 Why not just write a book?
911 00:45:31 I'm not sure I havean entire book in me.
912 00:45:35 You can't even dreama whole dream, can you?
913 00:45:41 (grunting softly)
914 00:45:47 (groans)
915 00:46:00 (sighs)
916 00:46:02 Monet, Manet, Picasso.
917 00:46:04 (passes gas)
918 00:46:09 (takes deep breath)
919 00:46:16 (Paul snoring)
920 00:46:33 ("Crying, Laughing, Loving,Lying" by Labi Siffre playing)
921 00:46:41 ♪ Crying ♪
922 00:46:45 ♪ Crying never did nobodyno good no how ♪
923 00:46:54 ♪ That's why I ♪
924 00:46:59 ♪ I don't cry ♪
925 00:47:07 ♪ Laughing ♪
926 00:47:12 ♪ Laughing sometimes doessomebody some good somehow ♪
927 00:47:19 ♪ That's why I ♪
928 00:47:23 ♪ I'm laughing now ♪
929 00:47:28 ♪ That's why I ♪
930 00:47:33 ♪ I'm laughing now. ♪
931 00:47:49 (song ends)
932 00:48:13 (takes deep breath)
933 00:48:16 (Paul clears throat)
934 00:48:19 I have a surprise.
935 00:48:22 Uh, these were a gift to me,
936 00:48:25 and I would like to share themwith both of you.
937 00:48:29 Look at them.Look at all the festive shapes.
938 00:48:32 Snowflakes and gingerbread men.A tree.
939 00:48:35 A little mitten. (chuckles)
940 00:48:38 Mmm. (chuckles)
941 00:48:41 Mmm.
942 00:48:44 May I go to the bathroom, sir?
943 00:48:46 You may.
944 00:48:51 (sighs)
945 00:48:53 Well, I'm trying.
946 00:48:55 (laughing)
947 00:48:59 Mmm.
948 00:49:01 If you don't have a single room,
949 00:49:02 uh, I'll take a junior suiteor the equivalent.
950 00:49:04 I fully understandit's the holidays,
951 00:49:06 but it's kind of an emergency.
952 00:49:08 Mm-hmm. Yeah, sure.
953 00:49:10 Mr. Tully, what are you doing?
954 00:49:11 Uh, no, no credit card.
955 00:49:12 I'll pay cashor traveler's checks.
956 00:49:14 I didn't sayyou could use the phone.
957 00:49:15 (chuckling):Okay, I see.
958 00:49:17 Is there anywhere elseyou could recommend?
959 00:49:18 Maybe downtown or...
960 00:49:19 - Was that a hotel?- None of your business.
961 00:49:21 It is absolutely my business.I'm looking after you.
962 00:49:24 Looking after me? Really?
963 00:49:26 - Like what? Like my warden?- (scoffs)
964 00:49:28 Like my butler?
965 00:49:30 There's nobody here, okay?
966 00:49:32 Just us two losersand a grieving mom.
967 00:49:34 So let's cut the shit.
968 00:49:35 You stay out of my way,and I'll stay out of yours.
969 00:49:37 - That's a detention.- (groans)
970 00:49:39 You just earned yourselfa detention, sir.
971 00:49:41 Now, get back here!
972 00:49:43 Being here with you is alreadyone big fucking detention!
973 00:49:46 Son of a bitch,that's another detention!
974 00:49:48 ("Deck the Halls" byThe Swingle Singers playing)
975 00:49:50 Mr. Tully!
976 00:49:53 I don't know what you'replaying at, Mr. Tully,
977 00:49:56 but you are courting disaster!
978 00:49:58 Without exercise,the body devours itself.
979 00:50:01 You are careeningtowards suspension!
980 00:50:03 (grumbles)
981 00:50:08 (panting)
982 00:50:15 (panting heavily)
983 00:50:30 Don't even think about it,Mr. Tully.
984 00:50:33 You are a hair's breadthfrom suspension.
985 00:50:37 I'll wash my hands of you,you hear me?
986 00:50:39 Wash my hands.
987 00:50:44 Stop right there.
988 00:50:46 You know the gym isstrictly off-limits.
989 00:50:51 This is your Rubicon.
990 00:50:53 Do not cross the Rubicon.
991 00:51:00 Alea jacta est.
992 00:51:09 (Angus screaming)
993 00:51:16 Oh, fuck! Ow!
994 00:51:18 Jesus, Mr. Hunham! Fuck!
995 00:51:22 Hurry up! Hurry!
996 00:51:23 I am hurrying!
997 00:51:25 I was on thin ice already.
998 00:51:27 If Woodrup finds out,the facts won't matter.
999 00:51:29 - He'll make it my fault.- It is your fault!
1000 00:51:31 You were supposed to belooking after me.
1001 00:51:33 I told you to stop.
1002 00:51:35 You said you washedyour hands of me.
1003 00:51:37 No, I meant it metaphorically!
1004 00:51:38 Of course you meant it metaphorically.
1005 00:51:40 What were you going to do,actually go and wash your hands?
1006 00:51:43 This is the end.
1007 00:51:45 They'll inform the schoolwho will inform your parents,
1008 00:51:47 and then it's curtains.
1009 00:51:49 (chuckles)
1010 00:51:51 You're gonna get me fired.
1011 00:51:53 You. (scoffs)
1012 00:51:56 I'm the onethat might lose an arm,
1013 00:51:57 and all you can think aboutis yourself.
1014 00:52:00 NURSE: If you couldfill this out, please.
1015 00:52:01 Admissions and insurance.
1016 00:52:06 (Paul sighs)
1017 00:52:08 Excuse me.
1018 00:52:11 Is there any way we could skipthis whole insurance thing?
1019 00:52:15 It's just standard procedure.
1020 00:52:17 ANGUS:I understand, but look, um,
1021 00:52:19 we were over at Squantz Pondplaying hockey,
1022 00:52:21 and I slipped on the ice.
1023 00:52:23 Angus, what are you doing?
1024 00:52:24 My mom told him not to take me,but I made him.
1025 00:52:27 My folks are divorced.
1026 00:52:29 We don't get to see each othervery often.
1027 00:52:30 She'll be mad as a hornetif she finds out.
1028 00:52:33 NURSE:Okay, that's your business,
1029 00:52:34 but we just havecertain protocols.
1030 00:52:36 - Yeah. Protocols.- Please.
1031 00:52:38 I never get to see my dad.
1032 00:52:40 It was my fault. All mine.
1033 00:52:42 I don't want to get himin any trouble.
1034 00:52:44 I don't want her dragging youinto court again.
1035 00:52:47 We can skip the insurance thing.
1036 00:52:50 We can pay cash.
1037 00:52:52 Right, Dad?
1038 00:52:54 DOCTOR: So the good news isnothing's broken,
1039 00:52:56 but you did dislocateyour shoulder pretty badly.
1040 00:52:59 What does that mean?
1041 00:53:01 Well, that means that your armhas popped out of the socket.
1042 00:53:04 And we just needto pop it back in.
1043 00:53:08 I'm going to have you lie down.
1044 00:53:12 - Nice and easy.- Is this going to hurt?
1045 00:53:14 - (groaning)- Any more than it does now?
1046 00:53:16 Not if you relax.
1047 00:53:18 The key is just to relaxas best as you can.
1048 00:53:23 (Angus continues groaning)
1049 00:53:24 DOCTOR:Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
1050 00:53:27 (rapid, shuddering breaths)
1051 00:53:31 On the count of three.
1052 00:53:33 One, two, three.
1053 00:53:36 (yelling in pain)
1054 00:53:41 - (joint pops)- Jesus!
1055 00:53:43 (Angus screams)
1056 00:53:47 Barton men don't do that.
1057 00:53:49 Do what?
1058 00:53:50 Barton men don't lie.
1059 00:53:52 Yeah, well, I had momentum.
1060 00:53:54 PAUL:Mm-hmm.
1061 00:54:00 Hello.
1062 00:54:01 We have this prescription.
1063 00:54:05 Percodan. Okay.
1064 00:54:07 Uh, give me a couple minutes.
1065 00:54:08 PAUL:Thank you.
1066 00:54:11 Look, you said, if Woodrupfinds out, you're screwed,
1067 00:54:13 so now he won't find out.
1068 00:54:15 What happensif your parents inquire?
1069 00:54:17 (scoffs) Never gonna happen.
1070 00:54:18 Trust me.
1071 00:54:21 Okay, then.This all remains entre nous.
1072 00:54:25 Got it? You knowwhat entre nous means?
1073 00:54:27 Oui, monsieur.
1074 00:54:29 Now you owe me.
1075 00:54:30 Owe you?
1076 00:54:32 Oh, do not try to leverage me,Mr. Tully.
1077 00:54:34 All I'm looking foris a little thank-you
1078 00:54:37 that I did something nicefor you.
1079 00:54:40 That's all.
1080 00:54:42 ("No Matter What" by Badfingerplaying)
1081 00:54:44 ANGUS: Think I'll startwith a beer. How about you?
1082 00:54:47 PAUL:Don't be ridiculous, Mr. Tully.
1083 00:54:49 Get your cheeseburger.
1084 00:54:51 - They've got Miller High Life.- Mm.
1085 00:54:54 - The champagne of beers.- Oh.
1086 00:54:58 Okay, you ready to order? Oh!
1087 00:55:00 Miss Crane.
1088 00:55:02 As I live and breathe.
1089 00:55:04 What-what...what are you doing here?
1090 00:55:06 (laughing):Oh. Hi, guys.
1091 00:55:07 Yeah, I always pick upa little extra work
1092 00:55:09 over Thanksgiving and Christmas.
1093 00:55:11 Ah.
1094 00:55:13 Well, um, this is Mr. Tully.
1095 00:55:15 MISS CRANE:Oh, sure. I know you.
1096 00:55:17 Angus Tully.
1097 00:55:19 We met outsideDr. Woodrup's office.
1098 00:55:20 I was wrongly accusedof blowing up a toilet.
1099 00:55:22 I didn't know aboutthe wrongly part.
1100 00:55:25 (chuckling)
1101 00:55:26 Um, he'll have a cheeseburger.
1102 00:55:28 MISS CRANE:Okay.
1103 00:55:29 And a Miller High Life, please.
1104 00:55:30 PAUL:Uh, no, you will not.
1105 00:55:32 Where do you stand onMiller High Life, Miss Crane?
1106 00:55:34 Well, like they say,it's the champagne of beers.
1107 00:55:38 - And she's a professional.- PAUL: Okay.
1108 00:55:40 MISS CRANE (laughs):Okay, one cheeseburger.
1109 00:55:44 - And a Coke.- MISS CRANE: Okay.
1110 00:55:45 I will have a cheeseburgeras well.
1111 00:55:47 MISS CRANE (chuckles):Two cheeseburgers.
1112 00:55:49 - And a Jim Beam on the rocks.- Oh. Okay.
1113 00:55:52 PAUL:Please.
1114 00:55:54 Okay. You got it, guys.
1115 00:55:56 Thank you.
1116 00:55:59 Hmm.
1117 00:56:01 (chuckling):Ouch. You two have chemistry.
1118 00:56:04 (laughs):Okay.
1119 00:56:06 That's the Percodan talking.
1120 00:56:07 I don't know,seeing her like this,
1121 00:56:09 I think she's pretty attractive.
1122 00:56:10 Listen, you hormonal vulgarian,
1123 00:56:13 that woman deservesyour respect,
1124 00:56:15 not your erotic speculation.
1125 00:56:19 Well, may I at leastgo to the bathroom?
1126 00:56:21 - (Paul sighs)- Sir?
1127 00:56:24 You mean the pay phone?
1128 00:56:33 - Okay.- Ah.
1129 00:56:35 A Coke...
1130 00:56:36 - and a double Jim.- Oh.
1131 00:56:37 (whispers):I charged you for a single.
1132 00:56:39 - Thank you.- (chuckles)
1133 00:56:40 - Chin-chin.- Mm-hmm.
1134 00:56:42 So, how'd you get stuckholding over?
1135 00:56:45 I thought it wasMr. Endicott's year.
1136 00:56:47 (chuckles) No, I know.
1137 00:56:49 Uh, I'm being punished.
1138 00:56:51 Yeah, Dr. Woodrup is, um...
1139 00:56:53 A pompous asswith a dictator complex?
1140 00:56:55 (both chuckle)
1141 00:56:57 Oops. Um...
1142 00:56:59 Uh, what I meant to say was, uh,
1143 00:57:02 well, he's a lovelycompassionate educator
1144 00:57:04 - with a really groovy beard.- (both laugh)
1145 00:57:07 Yeah. You know, I've hada lot of former students
1146 00:57:09 ascend to positionsof authority.
1147 00:57:11 He's the only oneI've ever had to report to.
1148 00:57:14 - He was your student?- Oh, yes.
1149 00:57:16 My first year teaching,
1150 00:57:17 and he was an asshole even then.
1151 00:57:20 (both laugh)
1152 00:57:22 (sighs):Oh.
1153 00:57:23 Well, listen, if you and Angusare really all alone up there,
1154 00:57:26 I'm having a littleChristmas Eve party.
1155 00:57:28 In case, you know,you guys want to stop by.
1156 00:57:34 ("Knock Three Times" byTony Orlando & Dawn playing)
1157 00:57:37 ♪ Oh, my sweetness ♪
1158 00:57:38 (three drumbeats)
1159 00:57:39 ♪ Means you'll meet mein the hallway ♪
1160 00:57:45 ♪ Twice on the pipe ♪
1161 00:57:47 ♪ Means you ain't gonna show ♪
1162 00:57:53 ♪ If you look outyour window tonight... ♪
1163 00:57:58 Sorry, kid. Next game's taken.
1164 00:58:00 But I just put a dime down.
1165 00:58:01 I don't care.My buddy's up next.
1166 00:58:04 That's not how it works.
1167 00:58:05 That's how it works in here.
1168 00:58:07 Why don't you go shootthe other fucking machine?
1169 00:58:09 Because I don't want to shootthe other fucking machine.
1170 00:58:11 - I want to use this one.- Fuck!
1171 00:58:14 Thanks for fucking up my mojo.
1172 00:58:17 Hey, Kenny, you're up.
1173 00:58:19 ANGUS:Bullshit.
1174 00:58:20 I put my dime down. I'm up next.
1175 00:58:23 What was that?
1176 00:58:28 Oh.
1177 00:58:34 Hey, sport, my eyes are up here.
1178 00:58:36 PINBALL PLAYER:Look at this fucking kid.
1179 00:58:38 Spoiled little fuckingBarton boy.
1180 00:58:40 Yeah, he's a fancylittle prick, isn't he?
1181 00:58:43 You know what?
1182 00:58:44 You can just take my dime.
1183 00:58:46 You want me to take your dime?
1184 00:58:47 Like it's, uh...like it's charity?
1185 00:58:50 No. What I meant was...
1186 00:58:52 we could play together.
1187 00:58:54 Yeah, you could be my left arm.
1188 00:58:56 The fuck did you just say to me?
1189 00:58:59 - Hey!- Mr. Hunham?
1190 00:59:01 PAUL:Mm, yes?
1191 00:59:02 - Mr. Hunham, can we go, please?- Why?
1192 00:59:04 Uh, I've just been calleda fancy little prick.
1193 00:59:06 - Hey! Why'd you run off?- We should go.
1194 00:59:08 We were just talking to you.
1195 00:59:09 Don't they teach you mannersat that school?
1196 00:59:11 - No, no, no. No, no.- MISS CRANE: Kenneth!
1197 00:59:12 Kenneth, leave him alone.
1198 00:59:13 They just came in for some food.
1199 00:59:15 PAUL:Kenneth. Kenneth.
1200 00:59:17 Is that right?
1201 00:59:18 Uh, I don't doubt he didsomething to offend you.
1202 00:59:21 It's his specialty.
1203 00:59:22 Now, perhaps I can purchase yougentlemen something to imbibe
1204 00:59:25 and we could let whateverthis unfortunate incident is
1205 00:59:28 go the way of the dodo.
1206 00:59:31 The what?
1207 00:59:32 The dodo. It's an extinct bird.
1208 00:59:34 What he's trying to say is
1209 00:59:36 he'd like to buy you guysa beer.
1210 00:59:41 - Yeah, yeah. Okay.- PAUL: Great.
1211 00:59:44 Yeah, yeah. I'll have a Miller.
1212 00:59:46 Champagne of beers.
1213 00:59:51 Why'd you buy those guys beers?They're assholes.
1214 00:59:53 That's one way to look at it.
1215 00:59:57 Hey.
1216 00:59:59 Catch.
1217 01:00:00 How many boys do you knowhave had their hands blown off?
1218 01:00:05 Barton boys don't go to Vietnam.
1219 01:00:08 No, they go to Yaleor Dartmouth or Cornell,
1220 01:00:12 whether they deserve to or not.
1221 01:00:14 - Except for Curtis Lamb.- Except for Curtis Lamb.
1222 01:00:25 Were you ever in the military?
1223 01:00:27 Yes. I tried to enlist in '41,but was rejected.
1224 01:00:30 I have to get in over there.
1225 01:00:33 They made me an air raid warden.
1226 01:00:36 Gave me a whistleand everything. (chuckles)
1227 01:00:38 Helmet, armband.
1228 01:00:41 Yeah.
1229 01:00:43 Before we get going,can I be candid with you?
1230 01:00:46 Mm-hmm.
1231 01:00:48 You smell.
1232 01:00:55 Like fish.
1233 01:00:56 And it's really noticeabletowards the end of the day.
1234 01:00:58 I can even smell iton your coat.
1235 01:01:00 - Mind if I crack the window?- (sighs)
1236 01:01:05 Trimethylaminuria.
1237 01:01:07 Huh?
1238 01:01:08 Trimethylaminuria.
1239 01:01:11 Means my body can't break down trimethylamine.
1240 01:01:14 That's the smell.
1241 01:01:15 And, uh, yes,more toward the end of the day.
1242 01:01:19 Wow.
1243 01:01:21 - Your whole life?- Mm-hmm.
1244 01:01:24 No wonder you're afraidof women.
1245 01:01:25 I am not afraid of women.
1246 01:01:28 - Jesus H. Christ.- Sorry.
1247 01:01:30 I shouldn't have said anything.
1248 01:01:31 (sighs)
1249 01:01:32 Dr. Gertler says I don't always
1250 01:01:34 give considerationto my audience.
1251 01:01:35 Ah. And who is Dr. Gertler?
1252 01:01:39 - My shrink.- Hmm.
1253 01:01:41 Has Dr. Gertler ever trieda good, swift kick in the ass?
1254 01:01:44 (Angus scoffs)
1255 01:01:46 Okay, all right, now your turn.
1256 01:01:48 - Hmm.- Go ahead.
1257 01:01:49 - Tell me something about me.- (scoffs)
1258 01:01:51 - Something negative.- Something negative about you?
1259 01:01:53 Sure. Just one thing.
1260 01:01:55 Just one?
1261 01:01:57 MARY: Why'd you twomiss dinner last night?
1262 01:01:59 Oh, we went into town on some,uh, school-related business.
1263 01:02:04 And you couldn't call?
1264 01:02:06 Sorry.
1265 01:02:09 Good morning, everybody.
1266 01:02:11 - Hi, Danny.- Good morning.
1267 01:02:13 You can go on inand fix yourself a plate.
1268 01:02:15 Mm, I just saw something funny.
1269 01:02:17 I walked into the gym,
1270 01:02:19 and someone had vomitedin there.
1271 01:02:26 You don't say. I don't knowanything about that.
1272 01:02:28 Yeah. Me, neither.
1273 01:02:29 No, uh, I'll look into thatright away.
1274 01:02:32 Thank you.
1275 01:02:33 Mm-hmm. I see how it is.
1276 01:02:37 ♪ ♪
1277 01:02:42 - (bucket thuds on floor)- (Angus scoffs)
1278 01:02:46 DANNY:You're out your mind.
1279 01:02:50 (breathing sharply)
1280 01:02:57 (exhales)
1281 01:03:06 (grunts)
1282 01:03:11 (grunts)
1283 01:03:15 (banging)
1284 01:03:21 I appreciate you pitching in.
1285 01:03:23 No, no, I should bethanking you.
1286 01:03:25 This is very therapeutic.
1287 01:03:27 (scoffs)Try it when you're stuck
1288 01:03:29 serving 300 little shits,and all they do is complain.
1289 01:03:31 Then you tell mehow therapeutic it is.
1290 01:03:33 - Well, fair enough.- (chuckles)
1291 01:03:35 Mary.
1292 01:03:37 Speaking of.
1293 01:03:40 (chuckling):Oh, brownies?
1294 01:03:42 God, yes. I want all of these.
1295 01:03:43 MARY:Ah-ah. Just take one.
1296 01:03:45 The rest is forthe Christmas party tonight.
1297 01:03:47 What Christmas party?There's a Christmas party?
1298 01:03:49 MARY:Yeah, at Miss Crane's house.
1299 01:03:51 I'm only going to gofor a little bit.
1300 01:03:52 Show my faceand say I was there.
1301 01:03:54 You know, Miss Crane saidshe invited you too.
1302 01:03:58 - I want to go to the party.- (Paul stammers)
1303 01:03:59 She didn't mean it.We were just making small talk.
1304 01:04:02 If you don't want to go,don't go.
1305 01:04:03 - I'll take him.- (Paul scoffs)
1306 01:04:05 Mary can take me.
1307 01:04:06 No, that's not how it works.
1308 01:04:08 You're under my supervision.
1309 01:04:11 Okay, maybe it's finefor you to sit around here
1310 01:04:13 and read books all day,
1311 01:04:15 but I'm losing my goddamn mind.
1312 01:04:17 - Jesus!- MARY: Hey!
1313 01:04:19 Watch your mouth, young man.
1314 01:04:20 Not on Christmas Eve.
1315 01:04:22 You see?
1316 01:04:24 I can't trust himin a social situation.
1317 01:04:26 Mr. Hunham,if you're too chickenshit
1318 01:04:27 to go to this party,then just say that.
1319 01:04:30 But don't fuck it upfor the little asshole. -Mm.
1320 01:04:32 What's wrong with you?It's just a party.
1321 01:04:36 - What are you afraid of?- (sighs) I don't know.
1322 01:04:38 Shit. Now you got me nervous.
1323 01:04:41 ("White Christmas"by The Swingle Singers playing)
1324 01:05:05 ♪ ♪
1325 01:05:23 (sniffing)
1326 01:05:35 - (spraying)- Mm.
1327 01:05:40 Yeah.
1328 01:05:49 (lively chatter)
1329 01:05:51 ("Jingle Bells" by Herb Alpert& The Tijuana Brass playing)
1330 01:06:02 - Oh, hi.- Oh, hi.
1331 01:06:04 - Oh, you made it. Welcome.- (chuckles) Yes.
1332 01:06:06 Hi. Aw.
1333 01:06:08 I am so glad you're here.
1334 01:06:09 We're happy to be here.
1335 01:06:11 Where should I put these?
1336 01:06:12 Um, oh. (chuckles)
1337 01:06:14 (gasps)
1338 01:06:15 Those, I'll be puttingon my bedside table.
1339 01:06:17 (laughing):Oh! You're a wicked woman.
1340 01:06:19 - You have no idea.- Oh!
1341 01:06:22 Certainly a lot of people here.
1342 01:06:24 (sighs) Yeah, yeah.
1343 01:06:25 Some family, friends from town.
1344 01:06:28 - Oh.- Only you guys from work.
1345 01:06:29 - Ah.- Yeah.
1346 01:06:31 - That's my mom on the couch.- PAUL: Mm-hmm.
1347 01:06:33 MISS CRANE:Uh, that's my sister Kathy
1348 01:06:36 and her son Marvin.
1349 01:06:38 Oh, and that's my friend Tom.
1350 01:06:41 He owns the men's clothing store
1351 01:06:43 - on Bolen Street.- PAUL: Of course.
1352 01:06:44 MISS CRANE:Yeah, and his son.
1353 01:06:49 (chatter and music fade)
1354 01:06:51 (music box playing"Away in a Manger")
1355 01:07:09 MISS CRANE:Angus.
1356 01:07:10 This is Angus Tully.
1357 01:07:12 He's one of our studentsat Barton.
1358 01:07:14 This is my niece Elise.
1359 01:07:17 "Niece Elise." Nice.
1360 01:07:20 MISS CRANE:And this is Mr. Hunham.
1361 01:07:21 He's one of our finest teachers.
1362 01:07:23 - PAUL: Oh.- MISS CRANE: History, right?
1363 01:07:25 PAUL:Uh, ancient civilizations.
1364 01:07:26 MISS CRANE:Ah. (chuckles)
1365 01:07:27 And this is Mary Lamb.
1366 01:07:29 She is the managerof the cafeteria.
1367 01:07:31 - ELISE: Cool.- Hi.
1368 01:07:32 Hi. (chuckles)
1369 01:07:33 Um, hey, why don't youtake Angus
1370 01:07:36 down into the basement?
1371 01:07:38 Introduce himto our family tradition.
1372 01:07:39 Come on.
1373 01:07:41 Okay, and, uh, why don't Iget you guys some drinks?
1374 01:07:44 - Uh, Jim Beam for you, right?- Correct.
1375 01:07:46 Okay, and what about you, Mary?
1376 01:07:47 - Uh, I'll take a whiskey.- Okay.
1377 01:07:49 (kids chattering)
1378 01:07:51 ♪ He's the jolly little fellowcalled Santa Claus ♪
1379 01:07:53 ♪ Who'll be aroundon Christmas Eve night ♪
1380 01:07:55 ♪ He's a chubby little fellowwith a long white beard ♪
1381 01:07:58 ♪ And he comesfrom far away... ♪
1382 01:08:00 ANGUS: This is whatyou wanted to show me?
1383 01:08:02 I grew up playing down hereduring my aunt's parties.
1384 01:08:06 I think it's kind of cool.
1385 01:08:08 There's a purity to it.
1386 01:08:11 I mean, every childis an artist.
1387 01:08:14 The problem is remainingan artist when we grow up.
1388 01:08:18 Picasso said that.
1389 01:08:20 Picasso's cool.
1390 01:08:22 Yeah, I saw Guernica once.
1391 01:08:23 - You know, the-the big mural?- Yeah.
1392 01:08:25 - With the horse?- (laughs)
1393 01:08:27 Yeah, I know Guernica.You really saw it?
1394 01:08:29 Yeah. At The Museumof Modern Art in New York.
1395 01:08:33 It's huge.
1396 01:08:35 My dad took me.
1397 01:08:37 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1398 01:08:39 ("Silent Night" byThe Temptations playing)
1399 01:08:41 - ♪ To each one of you ♪- ♪ To all of you ♪
1400 01:08:46 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪- ♪ Mm ♪
1401 01:08:50 ♪ Silent night ♪
1402 01:08:55 ♪ Holy night... ♪
1403 01:08:59 There you go.
1404 01:09:03 Hey, how you doing, hmm?
1405 01:09:05 - I'm doing all right.- Okay.
1406 01:09:08 They put mein charge of the music.
1407 01:09:10 Who put you in chargeof the music?
1408 01:09:12 I did.
1409 01:09:13 - (both laugh)- You so crazy.
1410 01:09:15 Oh. I got you something.
1411 01:09:17 - No, Danny.- Yeah, go ahead.
1412 01:09:20 Mm-mm.You didn't have to do all this.
1413 01:09:21 I don't have to do anythingbut pay taxes and die.
1414 01:09:24 I wanted to. Here.
1415 01:09:27 ♪ Holy infantso tender and mild... ♪
1416 01:09:34 This is lovely.
1417 01:09:36 - Thank you.- You're welcome.
1418 01:09:37 But, Danny,I didn't get you anything.
1419 01:09:39 Yes, you did.
1420 01:09:40 You got me that beautiful smile.
1421 01:09:43 (Danny chuckling)
1422 01:09:45 - There it is.- (Mary chuckles)
1423 01:09:47 (laughing):There it is.
1424 01:09:49 - Merry Christmas.- Merry Christmas.
1425 01:09:54 (kids chattering)
1426 01:09:55 ANGUS:Am I doing this right?
1427 01:09:56 ELISE:There's no right or wrong.
1428 01:09:59 ♪ I wish my mom would marrySanta Claus ♪
1429 01:10:03 ♪ Then I knowhe would always stay ♪
1430 01:10:06 ♪ And we could always playwith the toys... ♪
1431 01:10:11 Are you trying to lookdown my shirt?
1432 01:10:13 (laughs):No.
1433 01:10:16 Yes.
1434 01:10:22 You know, I'm not gonna do this
1435 01:10:23 if you're not gonnatake it seriously.
1436 01:10:25 (laughing):I am taking it seriously.
1437 01:10:27 As seriously as one can takefinger painting.
1438 01:10:29 (laughing):You're not.
1439 01:10:31 You missed this whole arearight here.
1440 01:10:37 ♪ And it would always be ♪
1441 01:10:40 ♪ Like Christmasevery day for me. ♪
1442 01:10:58 (chuckles)
1443 01:11:01 Oh. (chuckles)
1444 01:11:02 - Well...- Mistletoe. (laughs)
1445 01:11:04 Oh, yes, of course,that's-that's why. Right.
1446 01:11:07 - Ah.- (both laughing)
1447 01:11:09 You know, it's interesting.
1448 01:11:10 Aeneas, uh, carried mistletoewith him
1449 01:11:13 when he descendedinto Hades, uh,
1450 01:11:15 in search of his father.
1451 01:11:16 Oh. Huh.
1452 01:11:19 Anyway, uh, I like your tree.
1453 01:11:22 It's very space-age.
1454 01:11:23 Oh! I bought it to commemoratethe moon landing.
1455 01:11:26 - Really? Oh. Oh.- Yeah.
1456 01:11:29 (Miss Crane sighs)
1457 01:11:32 So, where's your familythis Christmas?
1458 01:11:34 Nowhere. I'm an only child.
1459 01:11:36 Uh, my mother diedwhen I was young.
1460 01:11:38 Oh.
1461 01:11:39 And your father?
1462 01:11:41 (chuckles)
1463 01:11:42 Let's just say I left homewhen I was 15.
1464 01:11:44 - You ran away?- Worse.
1465 01:11:46 - I got a scholarship to Barton.- Oh.
1466 01:11:48 And from there, I went tocollege and never looked back.
1467 01:11:52 - Oh, but you did a little.- Hmm?
1468 01:11:55 I mean, you came back here.
1469 01:11:57 Ah.
1470 01:11:59 Feels kind of like home. Yes.
1471 01:12:01 And I guess I thoughtI could make a difference.
1472 01:12:04 I mean, I used to think I couldprepare them for the world
1473 01:12:07 - even a little.- Mm-hmm.
1474 01:12:09 Provide standards and grounding
1475 01:12:10 like Dr. Greene alwaysdrilled into us.
1476 01:12:12 But, uh, the world doesn'tmake sense anymore.
1477 01:12:15 (chuckles):I mean, it's on fire.
1478 01:12:18 The rich don't give a shit.
1479 01:12:20 Poor kids are cannon fodder.
1480 01:12:22 Integrity is a punch line.
1481 01:12:24 Trust is just a name on a bank.
1482 01:12:27 (Miss Crane chuckles softly)
1483 01:12:28 Well...
1484 01:12:30 look, if that's all true,
1485 01:12:33 then now is when they most needsomeone like you.
1486 01:12:40 (record scratching, skipping)
1487 01:12:42 ("When Winter Comes" by ArtieShaw & His Orchestra playing)
1488 01:12:45 Danny, did you know thatCurtis used to love Artie Shaw?
1489 01:12:50 You know,we used to dance to this.
1490 01:12:53 (chuckles)
1491 01:12:54 What teenage kid you knowlistens to Artie Shaw?
1492 01:12:59 You're killing me.
1493 01:13:00 Can't you play somethinga little hipper?
1494 01:13:02 Don't touch that goddamn record.
1495 01:13:04 DANNY: Hey, wait. Hey, M-Mary,come on, just sit down.
1496 01:13:06 - MARY: Oh, I'm okay.- DANNY: All right.
1497 01:13:07 - No, Danny, I'm okay.- I-I know. Please.
1498 01:13:10 - Okay, but I said I'm okay.- Okay.
1499 01:13:13 ♪ And I'll be finein the summer ♪
1500 01:13:16 ♪ But then I gotta have youto cuddle up to ♪
1501 01:13:19 ♪ When winter comes. ♪
1502 01:13:25 ♪ ♪
1503 01:13:38 Go get me another drink.
1504 01:13:42 So, are you planninganything special for tomorrow?
1505 01:13:44 No. Why? Are you having, um...
1506 01:13:46 Oh, no, no. I just...
1507 01:13:48 I thought maybe you were doingsomething special for Angus.
1508 01:13:51 Oh.
1509 01:13:52 ("It's the Most Wonderful Timeof the Year" playing)
1510 01:13:54 - You should.- Oh.
1511 01:13:56 Help preserve some of the magic.
1512 01:13:58 I mean, he may be a littledifficult, but he's still...
1513 01:14:02 - he's just a kid.- Yeah.
1514 01:14:04 Life catches up to them so fast.
1515 01:14:08 Them. Ha.
1516 01:14:11 - Us.- Mm-hmm.
1517 01:14:16 You're a very sweet person,Miss Crane.
1518 01:14:19 Aw.
1519 01:14:22 - So are you.- (chuckles)
1520 01:14:24 - When you want to be.- Mm.
1521 01:14:26 And it's Lydia.
1522 01:14:27 Lydia. (chuckles)
1523 01:14:30 (door opens)
1524 01:14:34 - Excuse me for a minute.- Mm.
1525 01:14:36 Hi.
1526 01:14:41 ♪ There'll bemuch mistletoeing ♪
1527 01:14:43 ♪ And hearts will be glowing ♪
1528 01:14:45 ♪ When loved ones are near ♪
1529 01:14:48 ♪ It's the most wonderful time ♪
1530 01:14:52 ♪ Of the year... ♪
1531 01:14:55 (sighs)
1532 01:14:58 Mr. Hunham? Mr. Hunham,could you come with me, please?
1533 01:15:00 Yeah. What is it?
1534 01:15:02 Come on. I'm serious.
1535 01:15:04 (grunts)
1536 01:15:08 - Come on.- Yes.
1537 01:15:10 ♪ There'll be scaryghost stories ♪
1538 01:15:12 - (Mary sobbing)- ♪ And tales of the glories ♪
1539 01:15:14 ♪ Of Christmaseslong, long ago... ♪
1540 01:15:17 Mary?
1541 01:15:20 You all right?
1542 01:15:22 MARY:Just leave me alone.
1543 01:15:25 You want me to take you home?
1544 01:15:27 Back off! Back off.
1545 01:15:30 ♪ There'll bemuch mistletoeing ♪
1546 01:15:32 ♪ And heartswill be glowing... ♪
1547 01:15:34 (song continues muffledin distance)
1548 01:15:39 (Mary sniffling, crying)
1549 01:15:45 He's gone.
1550 01:15:54 (sighs)
1551 01:15:57 PAUL:I was right.
1552 01:15:58 This is why I hate parties.
1553 01:16:00 That was a disaster.Total disaster.
1554 01:16:02 Speak for yourself.I was having fun.
1555 01:16:04 Let's take Mary home,
1556 01:16:06 make sure she's okay,and we'll come back.
1557 01:16:07 - Out of the question.- Come on.
1558 01:16:09 Would you give me a break?
1559 01:16:10 I was hitting it off with Elise.
1560 01:16:12 Oh. (chuckles) The niece?
1561 01:16:13 Are you kidding me?
1562 01:16:14 This poor woman is bereft,
1563 01:16:16 and all you can think aboutis some silly girl.
1564 01:16:18 Unbelievable. -I don't needyou feeling sorry for me.
1565 01:16:20 See? I'm just saying,this was the first good thing
1566 01:16:23 that came with beingin this prison with you.
1567 01:16:26 Need I remind you
1568 01:16:27 that it is not my faultthat you are stuck here?
1569 01:16:30 Do you think I wantto be babysitting you?
1570 01:16:32 Oh, no, no, I was praying tothe god I don't even believe in
1571 01:16:35 that your motherwould pick up the phone
1572 01:16:37 or your father would arrivein a helicopter or a submarine
1573 01:16:41 or a flying fucking saucerto take you...
1574 01:16:43 My father's dead.
1575 01:16:45 (stammering):I thought your father...
1576 01:16:47 That's just some rich guymy mom married.
1577 01:16:50 Give me your keys.
1578 01:16:53 It's unlocked.
1579 01:17:00 You don't tell a boy that'sbeen left behind at Christmas
1580 01:17:04 that you're achingto cut him loose.
1581 01:17:06 That nobody wants him.
1582 01:17:08 What the fuck is wrong with you?
1583 01:17:11 Let's go. I'm cold.
1584 01:17:17 (grunts softly)
1585 01:17:25 ♪ O little town of Bethlehem ♪
1586 01:17:30 ♪ How still we see thee lie ♪
1587 01:17:36 ♪ Above thy deepand dreamless sleep ♪
1588 01:17:42 ♪ The silent stars go by ♪
1589 01:17:47 ♪ Yet in thy dark streetsshineth ♪
1590 01:17:53 ♪ The everlasting light... ♪
1591 01:17:56 (car door closes)
1592 01:17:58 - Merry Christmas.- Merry Christmas.
1593 01:18:00 What can I do for you, chief?
1594 01:18:02 I'm looking for a tree.
1595 01:18:03 Well, you cameto the right place.
1596 01:18:05 Big fire sale on allremaining inventory.
1597 01:18:10 Mr. Tully.
1598 01:18:13 Mr. Tully?
1599 01:18:17 Mr. Tully.
1600 01:18:21 Uh, Angus Tully!
1601 01:18:23 (radio playing indistinctly)
1602 01:18:28 (Paul sighs)
1603 01:18:29 - Good morning.- Merry Christmas.
1604 01:18:31 Yeah.Merry Christmas, of course.
1605 01:18:33 How are you?
1606 01:18:35 Well, I've got a caseof the cocktail flu.
1607 01:18:37 - Yeah. Have you seen the boy?- Mm-mm.
1608 01:18:40 Goddammit,where the hell can he be?
1609 01:18:44 Angus!
1610 01:18:48 Mr. Tully?
1611 01:18:50 (piano playing)
1612 01:18:52 (panting)
1613 01:19:05 - (door bangs shut)- (playing stops)
1614 01:19:09 - Merry Christmas.- Merry Christmas.
1615 01:19:12 Where the hell have you been?
1616 01:19:14 I don't know. Just here.
1617 01:19:16 Come on.I have something to show you.
1618 01:19:19 ♪ ♪
1619 01:19:24 No ornaments?
1620 01:19:29 Oh, I'm sure we can round upsome ornaments somewhere.
1621 01:19:33 Uh, now...
1622 01:19:36 this is for you.
1623 01:19:50 Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
1624 01:19:53 For my money, it's likethe Bible, the Koran
1625 01:19:55 and the Bhagavad Gitaall rolled up into one.
1626 01:19:58 And the best part isnot one mention of God.
1627 01:20:01 - Hmm.- ANGUS: Okay.
1628 01:20:03 Thanks.
1629 01:20:06 And Mary.
1630 01:20:09 This is for you.
1631 01:20:12 Hmm.
1632 01:20:21 So you just get thisfor everybody?
1633 01:20:23 And...
1634 01:20:25 - Mm-hmm.- (Paul chuckling)
1635 01:20:27 - Now, how'd you guess?- How indeed?
1636 01:20:29 (chuckles)
1637 01:20:30 Oh, and...
1638 01:20:32 this came in the mail for you.
1639 01:20:55 ♪ ♪
1640 01:21:05 (Paul sighs)
1641 01:21:06 Thank you, Mary.
1642 01:21:08 That was just lovely.
1643 01:21:10 Oh.
1644 01:21:12 Is that an actual compliment?
1645 01:21:14 - Oh, come on.- (Mary laughs)
1646 01:21:16 You know,I don't think I've ever had
1647 01:21:19 a real family Christmaslike this before.
1648 01:21:22 Christmas dinner,I mean family-style.
1649 01:21:25 Out of the ovenand all the trimmings.
1650 01:21:27 My mom always just orders infrom Delmonico's.
1651 01:21:30 (Angus and Paul chuckle)
1652 01:21:32 MARY:Well, she's got the right idea.
1653 01:21:34 Next year I'm ordering infrom Delmonico's.
1654 01:21:38 Anyway, thank you, Mary.
1655 01:21:42 You're welcome.
1656 01:21:44 PAUL:I'd like to propose a toast.
1657 01:21:46 To my two unlikely companionson this snowy island
1658 01:21:51 and to our absent friendsand family.
1659 01:21:57 And I realize that none of usis here because he wants to be.
1660 01:22:01 So if there's any waythat I could make the holidays
1661 01:22:05 a little cheerierfor either one of you,
1662 01:22:07 just say the word.
1663 01:22:11 Okay.
1664 01:22:13 I want to go to Boston.
1665 01:22:15 Boston? Why?
1666 01:22:17 Why not?
1667 01:22:19 I want a real Christmas.I want to go ice-skating.
1668 01:22:21 I want to seea real Christmas tree
1669 01:22:23 with real ornaments,not that stupid thing.
1670 01:22:24 - You said it was nice.- MARY: It is nice.
1671 01:22:27 ANGUS:Come on, let's get out of here.
1672 01:22:29 I want a real holiday.
1673 01:22:30 We're not going to Boston.It's out of the question.
1674 01:22:33 MARY:You told the boy "anything,"
1675 01:22:34 so take the kid to Boston.
1676 01:22:36 Mary, we're not allowedto leave campus
1677 01:22:38 or the immediate environs.
1678 01:22:44 (sighs)
1679 01:22:51 (sighs heavily)
1680 01:22:52 I suppose we could call ita field trip.
1681 01:22:56 Uh, field trips would fallunder the ambit
1682 01:22:58 of additional academic pursuits.
1683 01:23:00 There's even a fund set aside
1684 01:23:02 for additionalacademic pursuits.
1685 01:23:05 Mm-hmm.
1686 01:23:08 I'll go pack. (laughs)
1687 01:23:13 I'm gonna need youto take me to Roxbury.
1688 01:23:15 Mm-hmm. All right.
1689 01:23:18 ♪ ♪
1690 01:23:41 - ♪ ♪- (no dialogue)
1691 01:23:58 ♪ ♪
1692 01:24:13 - MARY (sighs): Here we are.- PAUL: Hmm.
1693 01:24:16 Boy, that's an awful lotof stairs.
1694 01:24:19 - Probably icy too.- Mm.
1695 01:24:24 Mr. Tully.
1696 01:24:26 Right. Um...
1697 01:24:28 Mary, can I help youwith your bags?
1698 01:24:30 MARY:Yes, please.
1699 01:24:41 - PAUL: Hmm.- (trunk closes)
1700 01:24:42 MARY:Mm.
1701 01:24:45 Hey, be careful with the box.
1702 01:24:47 Yeah.
1703 01:24:49 You know, you're more thanwelcome to a room at the hotel.
1704 01:24:52 We've got the money.
1705 01:24:53 Are you out of your mind?
1706 01:24:55 I need a break from you twoand all your damn bickering.
1707 01:24:57 Besides, I'm looking forwardto visiting my little sister.
1708 01:25:00 She's pregnant.
1709 01:25:02 Oh, that's wonderful.
1710 01:25:03 - Yeah.- Oh.
1711 01:25:06 - Mr. Hunham. Mr. Hunham.- Oh, I'm sorry.
1712 01:25:08 My hands sweat.
1713 01:25:10 It's hyperhidrosis. Sorry.
1714 01:25:12 - Oh.- ANGUS: Hey, Mary!
1715 01:25:15 One more flight up.
1716 01:25:18 One more flight up.
1717 01:25:20 Yep.
1718 01:25:21 So, you two aregoing to be all right?
1719 01:25:23 Yes, the little monsterwill be well under control.
1720 01:25:25 - PEGGY: Mary!- Oh.
1721 01:25:28 Hi!
1722 01:25:32 - Bye.- Bye.
1723 01:25:39 Bye, Mary.
1724 01:25:40 Uh-uh. Where are you going?
1725 01:25:42 - I was...- You're not done yet.
1726 01:25:43 You have to help me up there.
1727 01:25:45 - Yeah, sure thing.- Come on.
1728 01:26:02 (kids chattering playfullyoutside)
1729 01:26:16 (opens drawer)
1730 01:26:23 ♪ ♪
1731 01:26:27 (chuckles softly)
1732 01:26:49 (Mary sighs softly)
1733 01:27:05 (laughter, indistinct chatter)
1734 01:27:12 (indistinct chatter continues)
1735 01:27:14 ♪ ♪
1736 01:27:29 ♪ ♪
1737 01:27:39 (siren wailing in distance)
1738 01:27:48 Hmm.
1739 01:27:53 Hey there, handsome.You got a cigarette?
1740 01:27:57 Nope. Sorry, I smoke a pipe.
1741 01:28:01 How about a date, then?You want a date?
1742 01:28:04 (chuckles)
1743 01:28:06 No, thank you.
1744 01:28:07 - Oh, come on.- Mm-mm-mm.
1745 01:28:08 Let's go somewhere warm.
1746 01:28:10 Go ahead.
1747 01:28:12 - I can wait here.- WOMAN: See?
1748 01:28:14 He can wait here,read some books.
1749 01:28:17 He doesn't mind if daddy getsa little candy cane.
1750 01:28:20 Thank you, but I never reallyliked candy canes.
1751 01:28:24 Plus, I'm prediabetic.
1752 01:28:33 You know, if you do wanta little candy cane,
1753 01:28:36 I won't tell anyone.
1754 01:28:38 Mr. Tully, for most people,sex is 99% friction
1755 01:28:42 and one percent goodwill.
1756 01:28:44 Call me old-fashioned,
1757 01:28:45 but I place valueon physical intimacy.
1758 01:28:47 So should you.
1759 01:28:50 You've never had sex, have you?
1760 01:28:52 (laughs)
1761 01:28:53 Believe it or not, Mr. Tully,there was a time
1762 01:28:55 when the fire in my loinsburned white hot.
1763 01:28:58 You're full of shit.
1764 01:28:59 No, the detailswould curl your toes.
1765 01:29:02 Okay, we're finally gettingto the good stuff.
1766 01:29:04 Let's hear.
1767 01:29:05 Maybe when you're eighteen.
1768 01:29:08 Curl your toes!
1769 01:29:10 ♪ ♪
1770 01:29:21 ANGUS:Are we almost done?
1771 01:29:23 PAUL: What's your hurry?I thought you liked antiquity.
1772 01:29:25 (chuckles) In class, maybe,
1773 01:29:26 but I never think about itunless I need to.
1774 01:29:29 Ah. Ah, well, here.
1775 01:29:32 What do you see?
1776 01:29:34 I don't know.A bunch of pottery.
1777 01:29:37 Mm. Look at that one.
1778 01:29:48 - Candy cane.- (laughs): Yes.
1779 01:29:49 There's nothing newin human experience, Mr. Tully.
1780 01:29:53 Each generation thinksit invented debauchery
1781 01:29:56 or suffering or rebellion,
1782 01:29:58 but man's every impulseand appetite
1783 01:30:01 from the disgustingto the sublime
1784 01:30:03 is on display right hereall around you.
1785 01:30:07 So, before you dismiss something
1786 01:30:09 as boring or irrelevant, remember,
1787 01:30:11 if you truly want to understandthe present or yourself,
1788 01:30:15 you must begin in the past.
1789 01:30:17 You see, history is not simplythe study of the past.
1790 01:30:20 It is an explanationof the present.
1791 01:30:26 See, when you say it that wayand throw in some pornography,
1792 01:30:29 it's a lot easier to understand.
1793 01:30:31 (chuckles):Okay.
1794 01:30:33 You should try doing more ofthat in class and less yelling.
1795 01:30:36 You know, most of the kidsdislike you.
1796 01:30:39 Pretty much hate you.
1797 01:30:40 Teachers too.
1798 01:30:43 You know that, right?
1799 01:30:44 ("The Wind" by Cat Stevensplaying)
1800 01:30:47 (chuckles softly)
1801 01:30:55 ♪ I listen to the wind,to the wind of my soul ♪
1802 01:31:03 ♪ Where I'll end up, well,I think only God really knows ♪
1803 01:31:12 ♪ I've sat uponthe setting sun ♪
1804 01:31:16 ♪ But never, never,never, never ♪
1805 01:31:21 ♪ I never wanted water once ♪
1806 01:31:25 ♪ No, never, never, never ♪
1807 01:31:32 ♪ I never wanted water once ♪
1808 01:31:36 ♪ No, never, never, never. ♪
1809 01:31:42 (quiet, indistinct chatter)
1810 01:31:46 MAN:Paul Hunham! Is that you?
1811 01:31:51 It's Hugh.
1812 01:31:52 Hugh Cavanaugh.
1813 01:31:55 Ah, yes. Of course.
1814 01:31:58 Wow. Hugh Cavanaugh.
1815 01:31:59 Wow.
1816 01:32:01 Oh, how are you, Hugh?
1817 01:32:03 Oh, God, what's it been,30 years? Um...
1818 01:32:06 Um, this-this is, uh...this is my wife Karen.
1819 01:32:08 Honey, this is Paul Hunham.
1820 01:32:11 - We went to Harvard together.- Hi, Paul.
1821 01:32:13 Yes, we did. Yes, we did.
1822 01:32:16 Uh, wow.
1823 01:32:17 Uh, what have youbeen up to, Hugh?
1824 01:32:19 - Uh, still in the area?- HUGH: Oh, yes. Yes.
1825 01:32:21 I-I'm still in Boston. Cambridge.
1826 01:32:23 - Harvard.- Well...
1827 01:32:25 He just got tenure. Statistics.
1828 01:32:26 - Oh, Karen.- He won't blow his own horn.
1829 01:32:28 - I have to blow it for him.- Okay. Well, uh,
1830 01:32:30 what about you, Paul?
1831 01:32:32 Oh, still teaching.We have that in common.
1832 01:32:34 Uh, history, ancient history.
1833 01:32:35 - That's great.- PAUL: Yes.
1834 01:32:37 That's great. Where?
1835 01:32:38 Oh, um, abroad, mostly.
1836 01:32:40 On fellowships,privately funded fellowships.
1837 01:32:43 Universitiesand private academies.
1838 01:32:45 Mostly fellowships, you know.
1839 01:32:47 I'm currently postedin, um, Antwerp.
1840 01:32:49 Uh, just back herefor the holidays.
1841 01:32:52 Ah. So, uh, is this your son?
1842 01:32:54 - Well, um...- I'm his nephew, Leonard.
1843 01:32:57 KAREN:Nice to meet you, Leonard.
1844 01:32:59 And he's writing a bookright now.
1845 01:33:01 Um, tell him about your book,Uncle Paul.
1846 01:33:02 (chuckles):My book.
1847 01:33:04 It's not a book, really.
1848 01:33:06 Uh, more of a monograph.
1849 01:33:07 - It's nothing special.- Don't be so modest.
1850 01:33:09 It's about, uh, cameras, right?Ancient cameras?
1851 01:33:12 - Oh.- PAUL: Yes.
1852 01:33:14 No, what he means, of course,is the camera obscura.
1853 01:33:16 You know, the opticaland astronomical tool
1854 01:33:19 that dates back to the timeof, um, Anaxagoras.
1855 01:33:22 Tell him the title, Uncle Paul.
1856 01:33:23 He's not interested, Leonard.
1857 01:33:25 Sure, I am.
1858 01:33:27 (sighs)
1859 01:33:29 Light and Magicin the Ancient World.
1860 01:33:36 Okay, well, um...
1861 01:33:38 Paul, I'm just so gladyou landed on your feet.
1862 01:33:42 You look swell.
1863 01:33:44 You too. So swell.
1864 01:33:47 And, uh, we'll keep an eye outfor your book.
1865 01:33:49 - Won't we, honey?- Yeah.
1866 01:33:51 - Merry Christmas, Paul.- Merry Christmas.
1867 01:33:52 - Bye, Leonard.- Merry Christmas.
1868 01:33:57 What the fuck just happened?
1869 01:33:59 I thought Barton men don't lie.
1870 01:34:02 Don't get me wrong,that was fun,
1871 01:34:03 but you just liedthrough your teeth.
1872 01:34:05 What I say duringa private conversation
1873 01:34:07 is none of yourgoddamn business.
1874 01:34:09 You are not to judge me.
1875 01:34:10 It wasn'ta private conversation.
1876 01:34:12 - The wife and I were there.- (groans)
1877 01:34:14 - And I helped you.- (Paul laughs)
1878 01:34:15 Why did he askif you landed on your feet?
1879 01:34:17 What is this, Nuremberg?
1880 01:34:19 - Jesus.- You're the hard-ass
1881 01:34:20 constantly telling everybodynot to lie
1882 01:34:22 and going on and onabout the honor code.
1883 01:34:26 There was an incidentwhen I was at Harvard
1884 01:34:28 with my roommate.
1885 01:34:31 And?
1886 01:34:32 He accused me of copyingfrom his senior thesis.
1887 01:34:35 Plagiarizing.
1888 01:34:36 Ah.
1889 01:34:37 - Well, did you?- No, he stole from me.
1890 01:34:41 But that blue-blooded prick'sfamily
1891 01:34:43 had allies on the faculty.
1892 01:34:45 I mean, their last name is ona library, for Christ's sake.
1893 01:34:47 So he accused me in orderto sanitize his treachery
1894 01:34:50 and, uh, they threw me out.
1895 01:34:53 Wait, so you got kicked outof Harvard for cheating?
1896 01:34:56 No, I got kicked out of Harvardfor hitting him.
1897 01:34:58 - (Paul chuckles)- You hit him?
1898 01:34:59 What, like punched him out?
1899 01:35:00 No, I hit him with a car. Ah.
1900 01:35:03 You got kicked out of Harvardfor hitting a guy with a car?
1901 01:35:06 By accident.
1902 01:35:07 Pint of Jim Beam, please.
1903 01:35:09 But he broke three ribs,which was technically his fault
1904 01:35:12 because he shouldn't have beenin the road.
1905 01:35:14 CASHIER:Two dollars, please.
1906 01:35:16 - Also, he shat himself.- (cash register bell dings)
1907 01:35:18 Which was the greater indignity.
1908 01:35:20 (laughs)
1909 01:35:22 Here you go, killer.
1910 01:35:25 (cash register drawer closes)
1911 01:35:27 ANGUS: So Mr. Hunhamnever even graduated college?
1912 01:35:29 - PAUL: Mm.- Holy shit.
1913 01:35:31 You didn't finish upsomewhere else? Who else knows?
1914 01:35:33 Well, Dr. Greene knew.
1915 01:35:35 Only Dr. Greene.
1916 01:35:37 He always believed in me,so he gave me a job.
1917 01:35:40 Adjunct faculty,zero respect and even less pay.
1918 01:35:44 So nobody batted an eye,
1919 01:35:45 and I've been at the schoolever since.
1920 01:35:48 Are you ashamedat how things turned out?
1921 01:35:49 Not at all.I'm proud of my work.
1922 01:35:52 I love history. I love Barton.
1923 01:35:55 Barton is my life.
1924 01:35:56 I don't know what I would dowithout Barton.
1925 01:35:58 Why'd you lie to that guy?
1926 01:36:00 Because I knew he'd relishthe fact that I'm a washout
1927 01:36:02 and never leftmy own high school,
1928 01:36:04 and he'd probably repeatthat story
1929 01:36:06 to everybody we used to know,
1930 01:36:08 so I figured he's not entitledto my story.
1931 01:36:11 I am.
1932 01:36:12 Yeah. Yeah, fuck that guy.
1933 01:36:14 Yeah, exactly. Fuck that guy.
1934 01:36:17 "Statistics." (scoffs)
1935 01:36:20 But, now, you'll keepthis quiet, right?
1936 01:36:23 No one is to know.
1937 01:36:25 I mean no one, Angus.
1938 01:36:27 Entre nous, sir.
1939 01:36:30 Entre nous.
1940 01:36:32 "Ancient cameras."
1941 01:36:33 Where the helldid you come up with that?
1942 01:36:35 Just trying to keep youon your toes, sir.
1943 01:36:46 Get up, kid.
1944 01:36:49 It's daylight in the swamp.
1945 01:36:53 I ordered breakfast.
1946 01:36:56 Great. (sighs)
1947 01:37:10 Oh, you dropped something.
1948 01:37:12 (Paul grunts)
1949 01:37:14 Uh, those are my vitamins.
1950 01:37:17 Librium.
1951 01:37:18 Yeah, it's just, uh,
1952 01:37:20 something I'm supposed to takefor low energy.
1953 01:37:22 You mean depression?
1954 01:37:26 Is that rye toast?
1955 01:37:27 How'd you know I like rye toast?
1956 01:37:39 (sighs)
1957 01:37:50 ♪ ♪
1958 01:37:56 (busy chatter)
1959 01:38:04 All right. This way.
1960 01:38:17 ♪ ♪
1961 01:38:37 (pins clatter)
1962 01:38:46 (chuckles)
1963 01:38:49 Let go lightly.
1964 01:38:50 - Ah.- You're too rigid.
1965 01:38:58 (pins clatter)
1966 01:38:59 - See?- (Paul laughs)
1967 01:39:01 - You're welcome.- Not bad.
1968 01:39:03 You're a pretty goodteacher, kid.
1969 01:39:05 Too bad everybody dislikes you.
1970 01:39:07 Pretty much hates you.
1971 01:39:09 But you must know that, right?
1972 01:39:12 Touché, sir. Touché.
1973 01:39:18 - By the way...- Yeah?
1974 01:39:20 ...what eye do you aim with, anyway?
1975 01:39:22 Ah.
1976 01:39:23 You know, I've beenmeaning to ask.
1977 01:39:25 When we're talking,which one should I look at?
1978 01:39:27 Sometimes I look at one,
1979 01:39:29 but then I think I'm wrong,so I look at the other.
1980 01:39:32 Yes, everybody does that.
1981 01:39:34 So, which eye is it?
1982 01:39:36 (chuckles)
1983 01:39:39 (lively chatter)
1984 01:39:53 (scoffs)People don't understand.
1985 01:39:57 This isn't tenpin.
1986 01:39:58 No, this is much harder.
1987 01:40:00 All these tenpin assholes
1988 01:40:02 coming in herelike they're slumming it.
1989 01:40:03 - The hell with them.- (grunts)
1990 01:40:05 Yeah. Fuck 'em.
1991 01:40:09 Excuse me.
1992 01:40:11 Here's somethingI bet you didn't know.
1993 01:40:13 Your uniform, festive as it is,is historically inaccurate.
1994 01:40:18 Saint Nicholas of Myrawas actually
1995 01:40:22 a fourth-century Greek Bishopfrom what is now Turkey.
1996 01:40:25 So, uh, a robe and sandalswould be closer to the mark.
1997 01:40:28 Yeah, but I guess that would beimpractical given the weather
1998 01:40:31 and all the silly but lucrativemythology about Santa
1999 01:40:34 and elves and reindeerand chimneys and whatnot.
2000 01:40:37 (chuckles) What can you do?
2001 01:40:39 As Democritus said,
2002 01:40:41 "O kósmos alloíosis,o víos ypólipsis."
2003 01:40:46 "World is decay.Life is perception."
2004 01:40:57 My son.
2005 01:40:59 To see you again causesmy heart to soar like a hawk.
2006 01:41:03 Grandfather,I brought you this present.
2007 01:41:08 Is this the hat I used to own?
2008 01:41:10 - (Paul chuckles)- Except grown softer...
2009 01:41:13 You know,this is not only amusing,
2010 01:41:14 uh, but for a movie,it's a fairly accurate depiction
2011 01:41:17 of life among the Cheyenne.
2012 01:41:18 - Shh!- Fuck off.
2013 01:41:21 (in movie):I saw you in a dream.
2014 01:41:23 - I'm gonna go use the bathroom.- Mm-hmm.
2015 01:41:24 (in movie):You were drinking from a spring
2016 01:41:26 that came fromthe long nose of an animal.
2017 01:41:29 I did not recognize the animal.
2018 01:41:33 Alongside his nose,he grew two horns.
2019 01:41:37 (movie continues playingindistinctly)
2020 01:41:51 (in movie):...and smoked on this matter,
2021 01:41:53 and my decision is...
2022 01:41:56 Little Big Man has returned.
2023 01:41:58 (cheering, whooping in movie)
2024 01:42:03 (quiet chatter)
2025 01:42:11 PAUL:Hey! Hey!
2026 01:42:15 No. Out.
2027 01:42:18 Get out.
2028 01:42:20 I just need to do something.I was going to come back.
2029 01:42:22 Or meet you at the hotel.
2030 01:42:23 It won't take long.It's nothing bad.
2031 01:42:25 Just get out,you conniving little shit.
2032 01:42:29 (sighs)
2033 01:42:31 Were you planning thisthe whole time?
2034 01:42:33 Just counting the minutesuntil I turned my back?
2035 01:42:36 I wasn't running away.
2036 01:42:38 There's just somethingI need to do
2037 01:42:39 before we go back to school.
2038 01:42:40 Please.
2039 01:42:42 You could come with me.
2040 01:42:43 Just come with me, okay?
2041 01:42:44 Come with you where?
2042 01:42:47 To see my dad.
2043 01:42:51 Your dad?
2044 01:42:53 (sighs)
2045 01:42:54 That's what this is about?
2046 01:42:56 Why didn't you just ask me?
2047 01:42:59 Because, of course,we can visit a cemetery.
2048 01:43:07 ♪ ♪
2049 01:43:21 ♪ ♪
2050 01:43:28 Excuse me. Hi.
2051 01:43:30 I'm here to see Thomas Tully.
2052 01:43:32 ♪ ♪
2053 01:43:46 Right in here.
2054 01:44:03 ORDERLY:Over here.
2055 01:44:07 Look who's here to see you.
2056 01:44:14 Hi, Dad.
2057 01:44:17 Hello, sweetheart.
2058 01:44:38 You want to go sit downfor a little?
2059 01:44:43 Oh. Come on.
2060 01:44:46 Be seated right here.
2061 01:44:52 There you go. All right.
2062 01:45:06 I missed you.
2063 01:45:09 I've missed you a lot.
2064 01:45:11 A whole lot.
2065 01:45:16 You know, I'm still at school.
2066 01:45:19 At Barton.
2067 01:45:21 And it's, uh...it's Christmastime now,
2068 01:45:22 so I thoughtyou might like a visit.
2069 01:45:28 Guess what. I'm...
2070 01:45:29 I'm actually keepingmy grades up.
2071 01:45:32 I-I consistently get
2072 01:45:33 the highest grades in the classin ancient civ.
2073 01:45:35 I'm... I'm pretty muchthird or fourth in precalc.
2074 01:45:42 And I'm in the chess club too.
2075 01:45:46 But I don't really likethe other kids.
2076 01:45:48 (chuckles softly)
2077 01:45:51 And in the spring,I think I want to try tennis.
2078 01:45:54 Just JV,and probably only doubles,
2079 01:45:55 if the coach could just forgetabout my, uh...
2080 01:46:00 Anyway, it's not important.
2081 01:46:10 Listen.
2082 01:46:18 I, uh... I have to tell you something.
2083 01:46:25 I think they're puttingsomething in my food.
2084 01:46:38 ♪ ♪
2085 01:47:03 He used to be fine.
2086 01:47:05 He was better than fine.
2087 01:47:08 He was great.
2088 01:47:11 He was my dad.
2089 01:47:15 Then about four years ago, he...
2090 01:47:18 started acting strange.
2091 01:47:21 Erratic, forgetful,saying all this weird shit.
2092 01:47:26 My mom took himto a bunch of doctors,
2093 01:47:30 and they put him on medication.
2094 01:47:31 But that just made it worse.
2095 01:47:35 He got more confused.
2096 01:47:39 Then he got angry.
2097 01:47:43 And then he got...
2098 01:47:46 physical.
2099 01:47:49 That was it.That was the last straw.
2100 01:47:51 They put him away.
2101 01:47:55 And she divorced him...
2102 01:47:58 without him even realizing it.
2103 01:48:02 That's why she wantsa whole new life.
2104 01:48:06 And it's easy to just stash meaway in boarding school.
2105 01:48:08 Like half of usare just stashed away there.
2106 01:48:14 And I get it.
2107 01:48:17 She never has to look at me.
2108 01:48:21 Because maybe whenshe looks at me, she...
2109 01:48:24 - she sees him.- No, no, no, no, no.
2110 01:48:28 That can't be true.She... You're her son.
2111 01:48:32 Maybe she's right.
2112 01:48:34 I can't keep it together.
2113 01:48:36 I lie. I steal.
2114 01:48:40 I piss people off.
2115 01:48:43 I don't have any friends,real friends.
2116 01:48:44 I'll probably get kicked outof Barton too.
2117 01:48:46 And when I do,it'll be my own fault.
2118 01:48:50 Get sent to Fork Unionand maybe to you-know-where.
2119 01:48:56 And nobody will care.
2120 01:49:02 The funny thing is...
2121 01:49:06 I wanted to see him so badthis whole time.
2122 01:49:16 But I also didn't, you know?
2123 01:49:21 Because I'm afraid
2124 01:49:22 that's what's going to happento me one day.
2125 01:49:24 No, Angus, Angus.
2126 01:49:25 Angus, listen.
2127 01:49:27 You're not your father.
2128 01:49:31 How do you know?
2129 01:49:32 Because no one ishis own father.
2130 01:49:35 I'm not my dad.
2131 01:49:36 No matter how hard he triedto beat that idea into me.
2132 01:49:45 I find the world a bitterand complicated place,
2133 01:49:49 and it seems to feelthe same way about me.
2134 01:49:52 I think you and Ihave this in common.
2135 01:49:56 But don't get me wrong,you have your challenges.
2136 01:49:59 You're erratic and belligerent
2137 01:50:01 and a giganticpain in the balls,
2138 01:50:03 but you're not your father.
2139 01:50:05 You're your own man.
2140 01:50:09 Man, no. You're just a kid.
2141 01:50:12 You're just beginning.
2142 01:50:14 And you're smart.
2143 01:50:17 You've got timeto turn things around.
2144 01:50:21 Yes, I knowthe Greeks had the idea
2145 01:50:24 that, uh, the steps you taketo avoid your fate
2146 01:50:26 are the very stepsthat lead you to it,
2147 01:50:28 but that's justa literary conceit.
2148 01:50:30 In real life, your history
2149 01:50:32 does not have to dictateyour destiny...
2150 01:50:34 Oh. There's Mary.
2151 01:50:37 Can you not tell Maryor anybody? Uh...
2152 01:50:39 Entre nous. This wholegoddamned trip is entre nous.
2153 01:50:42 - Stand up.- What?
2154 01:50:45 Stand up for the lady, you boor.
2155 01:50:47 You cretin.
2156 01:50:52 - ANGUS: Mary.- PAUL: Well, hello.
2157 01:50:54 Hi. Sorry I'm late.
2158 01:50:56 PAUL: Oh, we're just happyto see you.
2159 01:50:58 - (Mary chuckles)- (Paul grunts)
2160 01:51:00 Madame, the menu.
2161 01:51:01 MARY:Oh. Thank you.
2162 01:51:03 Hello, ma'am. Would you likea cocktail to start?
2163 01:51:05 Oh, no,I'll just take a cup of tea.
2164 01:51:07 Oh, come on. Have a cocktail.
2165 01:51:08 No, no, no.A cup of tea is fine.
2166 01:51:10 I've eaten already.
2167 01:51:12 And you gentlemen,did you save room for dessert?
2168 01:51:15 - PAUL: Hmm.- Hey, what's that?
2169 01:51:18 WAITRESS:That's our signature dessert.
2170 01:51:19 - Cherries jubilee.- PAUL: Mmm.
2171 01:51:21 - That sounds great.- (Paul chuckles)
2172 01:51:23 Bring the young vandal herecherries jubilee.
2173 01:51:25 I'm afraid I can't.
2174 01:51:27 The dish contains brandy.
2175 01:51:29 Same deal withthe bananas Foster.
2176 01:51:31 Yeah, but doesn't the alcoholjust burn off? -PAUL: Mm.
2177 01:51:33 WAITRESS: It's stillagainst the rules, ma'am.
2178 01:51:35 - Fine.- Oh.
2179 01:51:37 I'll order the cherriesjubilee. We can share it.
2180 01:51:39 Mm. I can't allow that, either.
2181 01:51:41 Can we say it's his birthday?
2182 01:51:44 It's my birthday.
2183 01:51:45 Well, happy birthday, young man.
2184 01:51:47 Let's get you a slice of cake
2185 01:51:49 or some otherage-appropriate dessert.
2186 01:51:51 Christ on a crutch.
2187 01:51:53 What kind of a fascist hashfoundry are you running here?
2188 01:51:59 Uh, excuse me, ma'am. Do you,by chance, have cherries?
2189 01:52:03 Yes.
2190 01:52:04 Great.And do you have ice cream?
2191 01:52:07 - Yes.- MARY: Fantastic.
2192 01:52:09 Can we please get cherriesand ice cream to go?
2193 01:52:12 And the check.
2194 01:52:14 Right away.
2195 01:52:17 - Bitch.- Mm.
2196 01:52:24 PAUL:And a little James Beam.
2197 01:52:27 All right. Go ahead.
2198 01:52:31 Ooh. (laughs)
2199 01:52:34 Presto. Cherries jubilee.
2200 01:52:35 (laughter)
2201 01:52:37 Ooh.
2202 01:52:39 - Shouldn't it just go out?- Okay.
2203 01:52:41 - (laughs)- Oh, shit. Shit.
2204 01:52:43 How much alcoholdid you put on there? -Oh!
2205 01:52:45 It's hot. It's very hot.
2206 01:52:47 - Oh!- (Mary squeals)
2207 01:52:49 (laughter)
2208 01:52:51 ♪ ♪
2209 01:53:13 ♪ ♪
2210 01:53:17 HOST (on TV):But now just listen to them.
2211 01:53:19 They see the ball and...
2212 01:53:20 MARY: Man, I sure do wishwe had some noisemakers.
2213 01:53:22 PAUL:Mm-hmm.
2214 01:53:24 I've got a noisemaker.
2215 01:53:27 Where the hell did you get that?
2216 01:53:28 I don't know. Found it.
2217 01:53:30 Well, you're notdeploying that in here.
2218 01:53:33 You know, you weren'tthis uptight in Boston.
2219 01:53:35 - MARY: Oh.- (Paul chuckles)
2220 01:53:36 Danny, where do you standon indoor fireworks?
2221 01:53:38 About as far away as I can.
2222 01:53:39 - That's very wise.- HOST: Ten, nine...
2223 01:53:41 Oh, we're gonna miss it.Come on.
2224 01:53:42 - Up on your feet.- ...eight, seven...
2225 01:53:43 Up on your feet.Up on your feet.
2226 01:53:45 - ...six, five, four...- Five, four...
2227 01:53:47 PAUL, ANGUS and HOST:Three, two, one.
2228 01:53:50 - Happy New Year!- Happy New Year!
2229 01:53:54 PAUL:Yes.
2230 01:53:55 ♪ Should old acquaintancebe forgot... ♪
2231 01:53:59 (Paul clears throat)
2232 01:54:01 (quiet muttering)
2233 01:54:04 Congratulations, Mr. Tully.
2234 01:54:06 - Congratulations, Danny.- Thank you.
2235 01:54:08 Mary, congratulations.
2236 01:54:09 Now, as I say, we're notdeploying this in here.
2237 01:54:11 No. We're going to lightthis sucker off in the kitchen.
2238 01:54:14 - What?- What?
2239 01:54:15 - (Angus chuckles)- All right. Come.
2240 01:54:16 - Come, come, come.- Come on, man.
2241 01:54:18 - For real?- This is coming with me.
2242 01:54:19 ♪ For auld lang syne ♪
2243 01:54:24 ♪ My dear ♪
2244 01:54:26 ♪ For auld lang syne. ♪
2245 01:54:31 (explosion booms)
2246 01:54:33 ♪ ♪
2247 01:54:46 (song ends)
2248 01:54:51 ("In Memory of Elizabeth Reed"by Allman Brothers Band plays)
2249 01:55:02 (indistinct chatter)
2250 01:55:06 (laughter)
2251 01:55:22 There's too much paprika.
2252 01:55:24 Why'd you put inall that paprika?
2253 01:55:26 Follow the recipe.
2254 01:55:28 Now you have to add inanother cup of water.
2255 01:55:30 What's wrong with you?
2256 01:55:34 Come on, ladies!
2257 01:55:35 (indistinct chatter)
2258 01:55:39 STUDENT:Hey, Kountze.
2259 01:55:41 Does... does it hurt?
2260 01:55:43 Fuck yeah, it hurts.
2261 01:55:44 Glare off the slopes, man,burned me to a crisp.
2262 01:55:47 (Angus laughs)
2263 01:55:48 You think that's funny, Tully?
2264 01:55:51 No, man.
2265 01:55:52 Just glad you hada good vacation.
2266 01:55:54 Welcome back,you snarling Visigoths.
2267 01:55:59 I trust you all enjoyeda refreshing holiday.
2268 01:56:03 - Oh, hello, Mr. Kountze.- (song fades)
2269 01:56:05 Or should I say Icarus?
2270 01:56:08 Fly a little too closeto the sun, did we?
2271 01:56:10 Huh?
2272 01:56:11 Yeah.
2273 01:56:12 Uh, all right.
2274 01:56:14 Now, along withyour skiing and swimming,
2275 01:56:16 I hope you found timeto enlighten yourselves
2276 01:56:18 about the Peloponnesian Warand its implications for today.
2277 01:56:21 Just to check, we're goingto start with a short pop quiz
2278 01:56:24 - on the reading...- (students groaning)
2279 01:56:25 ...before we retake the finalfrom last semester.
2280 01:56:27 Omnia ex scrineispraeter stilum.
2281 01:56:30 (students groaning, murmuring)
2282 01:56:33 ♪ ♪
2283 01:56:51 ♪ ♪
2284 01:57:05 Excuse me, Mr. Hunham?
2285 01:57:08 Oh, Miss Crane.
2286 01:57:10 Lydia. Uh, come in.Happy New Year.
2287 01:57:13 Oh, same to you. Happy New Year.
2288 01:57:15 Forgive me. I'm a clod.
2289 01:57:17 I never called to thank youfor inviting
2290 01:57:19 the boy and me to your party.
2291 01:57:20 And Mary.
2292 01:57:21 It meant a lot.
2293 01:57:23 Oh, you're so welcome.
2294 01:57:24 It was fun.
2295 01:57:26 Um, Dr. Woodrup is askingto see you.
2296 01:57:29 He says it's urgent.
2297 01:57:30 Oh.
2298 01:57:34 (quiet chatter)
2299 01:57:44 (knocking)
2300 01:58:02 DR. WOODRUP: Mr. Hunham, meetJudy and Stanley Clotfelter.
2301 01:58:05 Angus Tully's mother and father.
2302 01:58:08 - Stepfather.- Hello.
2303 01:58:10 Good morning.
2304 01:58:11 They've brought somethingvery important to my attention.
2305 01:58:13 STANLEY:We understand you took Angus
2306 01:58:15 to Boston over the holidays.
2307 01:58:17 I explained to Mr. Clotfelter
2308 01:58:18 that you went on a field tripfor academic reasons.
2309 01:58:20 That's right.
2310 01:58:22 A field trip?
2311 01:58:24 Yes. Uh, as per my instructionsin the manual,
2312 01:58:26 it fell within the ambitof my responsibility.
2313 01:58:29 Well, if it was a school trip,then how do you explain this?
2314 01:58:32 The people at the sanitarium
2315 01:58:33 confiscated itfrom my ex-husband.
2316 01:58:36 Apparently,Angus had given it to him.
2317 01:58:47 My mom and Stanley are here.
2318 01:58:50 Lydia told me.
2319 01:58:52 I think I'm going to getkicked out.
2320 01:58:56 That means military school.
2321 01:59:14 JUDY: Angus knows he's notsupposed to visit his father.
2322 01:59:16 He suffers fromdebilitating mental illness.
2323 01:59:20 Paranoid schizophrenia,early-onset dementia.
2324 01:59:23 And Angus's visit createdan expectation.
2325 01:59:26 Now Tom wants to come home,which is...
2326 01:59:30 clearly impossible.
2327 01:59:32 They tried to tell him,and he just...
2328 01:59:35 He got violent. He triedto brain one of the orderlies
2329 01:59:37 with this goddamned thing.
2330 01:59:39 You people know the boy hasa discipline problem.
2331 01:59:41 Paul, the Clotfelters wantto withdraw Angus from Barton
2332 01:59:44 and enroll himat Fork Union Military Academy.
2333 01:59:48 STANLEY: Set him straightonce and for all.
2334 01:59:50 He could do a lot worsethan a career in the military.
2335 01:59:53 Stanley.
2336 01:59:54 Look, Angus has defied melots of times
2337 01:59:58 about a lot of things,including this.
2338 02:00:00 So, however he manipulatedyour sympathies
2339 02:00:02 or slipped the leash,just tell us.
2340 02:00:20 It was my idea.
2341 02:00:24 ♪ ♪
2342 02:00:26 No, uh, uh, he didn't, uh,trick me or slip the leash.
2343 02:00:31 No, I took himto see his father.
2344 02:00:34 In fact, I convinced himto do so.
2345 02:00:41 This is a family matter,
2346 02:00:43 and you had no rightto interfere.
2347 02:00:45 - I don't give a shit.- JUDY (gasping): What?
2348 02:00:47 - DR. WOODRUP: Hunham.- I said I don't give a shit.
2349 02:00:49 You two were unreachable.
2350 02:00:51 He was all alone at Christmas.
2351 02:00:53 I thought the kidshould see his father.
2352 02:00:59 Do you understandwhat you've done?
2353 02:01:02 I have to move Tom now.
2354 02:01:04 It was hard even findinga facility that would take him,
2355 02:01:07 and now I have to move him.
2356 02:01:10 And that is deeply unfortunate,
2357 02:01:13 but why compound the miseryby ruining the boy?
2358 02:01:19 I have just spenttwo solid weeks with him.
2359 02:01:21 He is a pain in the ass, sure,but he's also very smart.
2360 02:01:26 Brilliant, I don't know,but very smart.
2361 02:01:29 You must know that.
2362 02:01:31 He's got enormous potential.
2363 02:01:34 It would be devastatingif you pulled him out now.
2364 02:01:43 (door opens)
2365 02:01:52 You did this to yourself,Hunham, not me.
2366 02:01:55 - I want you to remember that.- Mm.
2367 02:02:00 Hardy, I have known yousince you were a boy,
2368 02:02:03 so I think I havethe requisite experience
2369 02:02:05 and insight to aver thatyou are and always have been
2370 02:02:10 penis cancer in human form.
2371 02:02:23 (sighs)
2372 02:02:39 It's this one.
2373 02:02:42 This is the oneyou should look at.
2374 02:02:55 Angus, step inside, please.
2375 02:02:57 ("Ombra mai fu" fromHandel's opera Serse playing)
2376 02:03:17 (knocking at door)
2377 02:03:30 - Oh.- Hello.
2378 02:03:31 Hello.
2379 02:03:33 I missed you at breakfast.
2380 02:03:35 I was, uh... I was busy.
2381 02:03:40 So did you decidewhere you're going to go?
2382 02:03:43 Yes and no.
2383 02:03:44 Um, first, I'm goingto stash my stuff
2384 02:03:47 at a friend's in Syracuse,and then...
2385 02:03:51 I don't know.
2386 02:03:52 Maybe I'll start in Carthage.(chuckles)
2387 02:03:54 I was hoping you weregoing to say that.
2388 02:03:57 PAUL:Mm.
2389 02:04:02 (Paul sighs)
2390 02:04:10 For your monograph.
2391 02:04:14 I don't know, Mary.
2392 02:04:15 There's a lotof empty pages in here.
2393 02:04:18 Yeah, well,that's your problem, man.
2394 02:04:19 - (chuckles)- All you got to do
2395 02:04:21 is write one word after another.
2396 02:04:23 Can't be that hard, can it?
2397 02:04:25 - Oh...- (laughs)
2398 02:04:26 (chuckles)
2399 02:04:31 What about you?
2400 02:04:32 What about me what?
2401 02:04:34 Oh, no, I'm not going anywhere.Mm-mm.
2402 02:04:37 I'm not like you.I like having a job.
2403 02:04:40 (Paul chuckling)
2404 02:04:41 Plus, I'm saving up for college.
2405 02:04:43 My sister's baby.
2406 02:04:46 Ah. (chuckles)
2407 02:04:49 What is the word from Penny?
2408 02:04:51 - Peggy.- Peggy.
2409 02:04:55 Only that if it's a boy...
2410 02:04:58 ...his middle nameis going to be Curtis.
2411 02:05:04 ♪ ♪
2412 02:05:07 (sighs)
2413 02:05:12 (distant chatter)
2414 02:05:13 (whistle blowing in distance)
2415 02:05:21 TEDDY: I heard he got bootedfor eating feces.
2416 02:05:24 What?
2417 02:05:25 Apparently he got caughtin the locker room.
2418 02:05:27 Hand in the commode,burgling turds.
2419 02:05:31 That's not what I heard.
2420 02:05:33 What did you hear?
2421 02:05:35 Doesn't matter.
2422 02:05:36 Either way, he's history.
2423 02:05:38 Fucker taught history,now is history.
2424 02:05:42 Right, Tully?
2425 02:05:46 (sniffs, sighs)
2426 02:05:52 Hi.
2427 02:05:54 Oh, hi.
2428 02:05:58 Look, uh...
2429 02:06:00 I don't know what you saidto my mom and Stanley,
2430 02:06:03 Woodrup, but...
2431 02:06:05 all I know isI'm not getting kicked out
2432 02:06:08 and, uh, you got fired.
2433 02:06:10 Well, I just told the truth.
2434 02:06:14 Mostly.
2435 02:06:16 Barton man.
2436 02:06:18 Barton man.
2437 02:06:23 (school bell ringing)
2438 02:06:26 Fifth period.
2439 02:06:36 You know, it's, uh...it's only PE.
2440 02:06:39 - (Paul chuckles)- Maybe I could skip.
2441 02:06:41 We could head overto The Winning Ticket.
2442 02:06:42 - (chuckling)- Grab a burger and a beer.
2443 02:06:44 Ah. Miller High Life, no doubt.
2444 02:06:47 You never give up, do you?
2445 02:06:50 Well, they already fired you,so I figured
2446 02:06:51 it was worth a shot.
2447 02:06:53 Your logic is flawless,but, uh, no.
2448 02:07:05 Keep your head up, all right?
2449 02:07:09 ♪ ♪
2450 02:07:12 You can do this.
2451 02:07:16 Yeah, I was gonna tell youthe same thing.
2452 02:07:33 See ya.
2453 02:07:46 See ya.
2454 02:07:51 ♪ ♪
2455 02:08:13 ♪ ♪
2456 02:08:24 (sighing)
2457 02:08:41 ("Crying, Laughing, Loving,Lying" by Labi Siffre playing)
2458 02:08:51 ♪ Crying ♪
2459 02:08:56 ♪ Crying never did nobodyno good no how ♪
2460 02:09:05 ♪ That's why I ♪
2461 02:09:10 ♪ I don't cry ♪
2462 02:09:15 ♪ That's why I ♪
2463 02:09:20 ♪ I don't cry ♪
2464 02:09:30 ♪ Laughing ♪
2465 02:09:35 ♪ Laughing sometimes doessomebody some good somehow ♪
2466 02:09:44 ♪ That's why I ♪
2467 02:09:48 ♪ I'm laughing now ♪
2468 02:09:53 ♪ That's why I ♪
2469 02:09:57 ♪ I'm laughing now ♪
2470 02:10:08 ♪ Loving ♪
2471 02:10:13 ♪ Loving never did me ♪
2472 02:10:15 ♪ No good no how ♪
2473 02:10:18 ♪ No how ♪
2474 02:10:22 ♪ That's why I ♪
2475 02:10:26 ♪ Can't love you now ♪
2476 02:10:32 ♪ That's why I ♪
2477 02:10:36 ♪ Can't love you now ♪
2478 02:10:47 ♪ Lying ♪
2479 02:10:51 ♪ Lying never did nobodyno good no how ♪
2480 02:10:56 ♪ No how ♪
2481 02:11:00 ♪ So why am I ♪
2482 02:11:05 ♪ Lying now? ♪
2483 02:11:09 ♪ So why am I ♪
2484 02:11:15 ♪ Lying now? ♪
2485 02:11:25 (song ends)
2486 02:11:27 ♪ ♪
2487 02:12:01 ♪ ♪
2488 02:12:26 ♪ ♪
2489 02:12:56 (music ends)