只想爱你 Anyone But You(2023)(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:01:09 Excuse me.
2 00:01:11 Sorry.
3 00:01:13 Excuse me.
4 00:01:19 Sorry.
5 00:01:32 Hi. Where's your bathroom?
6 00:01:34 It's for customers only.
7 00:01:36 Oh, okay. I'll buy something.
8 00:01:39 You gotta pay up there.
9 00:01:44 Can I just go now? I really have to pee.
10 00:01:46 I've got a large cappuccino for Skylar.
11 00:01:49 Thanks.
12 00:01:51 I also kind of, well, no...
13 00:01:54 I know that establishments that serve food or drink must
14 00:01:59 be open to the public regardless of their purchasing class.
15 00:02:01 Sorry, it's our policy.
16 00:02:03 Store policy can't really supersede state law.
17 00:02:07 Please, it's an emergency.
18 00:02:08 Caramel latte for Miranda.
19 00:02:12 Honey, I'm about to order. Do you want your usual?
20 00:02:17 Uh.
21 00:02:18 My wife would like a double espresso
22 00:02:21 although you've had trouble sleeping lately, right babe?
23 00:02:23 Maybe we should back it off to a single.
24 00:02:25 You kept the light on until like midnight last night.
25 00:02:29 I did, didn't I?
26 00:02:31 Yeah, so maybe I'll just have a peppermint tea with two sugars.
27 00:02:36 Thanks, husband.
28 00:02:40 Oh, and the bread. It's grilled cheese night.
29 00:02:43 And she is part of the purchasing class, so can we get the bathroom key?
30 00:02:49 Thank you.
31 00:02:55 Thank you. That was really nice.
32 00:02:59 Happy to.
33 00:03:01 You knew a lot about bathroom law.
34 00:03:04 It was a short chapter.
35 00:03:08 Thank you.
36 00:03:09 Oh.
37 00:03:11 I'll have your tea waiting for you.
38 00:03:15 Can't leave my wife.
39 00:03:18 Oh.
40 00:03:20 Okay. That's great. I will see you on the other side.
41 00:03:38 Hallie, I just met this guy and I don't know, it was something.
42 00:03:48 Well, I know it's been a while, but I'm pretty sure he bought me
43 00:03:53 a tea and he might have just stolen my coat.
44 00:03:56 But what do I do?
45 00:03:58 Oh no, this is the time that I'm supposed to be meeting people and doing things.
46 00:04:05 Hallie, I gotta call you back.
47 00:04:08 God damn it.
48 00:04:35 Are you okay?
49 00:04:37 Big time. I am big time okay.
50 00:04:41 I just had to pee for like the last six hours and I just started this new internship.
51 00:04:47 And I didn't want to ask anyone where the bathroom was because
52 00:04:51 I didn't want them to think I was weak and not a problem solver.
53 00:04:56 Okay.
54 00:04:57 And by the way, it is not me to ask where the bathroom is. Every human does it. It's very, very normal.
55 00:05:04 Yeah.
56 00:05:17 Peppermint tea, two sugars.
57 00:05:21 Thank you. And thanks for not stealing my coat.
58 00:05:27 Oh.
59 00:05:34 Hi.
60 00:05:39 Thank you.
61 00:05:43 Oh, hey.
62 00:05:46 You...
63 00:05:47 So are you going to ask me out now?
64 00:05:51 Yeah. Yeah, I am.
65 00:05:57 I'm Ben.
66 00:05:58 I'm Bea.
67 00:06:15 So if we were getting attacked by giant spiders, you would not be able to protect us?
68 00:06:19 No, no. You'd be dead.
69 00:06:21 You would let me die?
70 00:06:22 I'm not going to let you die. I'm just going to survive.
71 00:06:26 You're right. You're right. You're right.
72 00:06:31 I was a gymnast.
73 00:06:32 Gymnast?
74 00:06:34 Yes. For like five years. I got like sixth place on beam.
75 00:06:38 Sixth place?
76 00:06:39 Yes. Got a ribbon.
77 00:06:41 I'm impressed.
78 00:06:42 Everybody gets a ribbon.
79 00:06:49 All right, wait to cool down. You just saw me take it off the burning stove.
80 00:06:54 Oh, my God.
81 00:06:55 If you're going to be a lawyer, you got to understand negligence
82 00:06:57 and breach and McDonald's versus that lady's habeas corpus.
83 00:07:02 You used none of those terms properly.
84 00:07:04 How do you know? You're not a lawyer yet.
85 00:07:06 It's not too late to choose a more noble profession.
86 00:07:08 Oh, like you?
87 00:07:10 You're right. Stick with it. I'm going to need a lawyer at some point.
88 00:07:14 I don't even know if I want to be a lawyer.
89 00:07:17 I cannot believe I just said that out loud.
90 00:07:24 I'm sorry. My life is a disaster right now.
91 00:07:27 Might be turning the corner. You just met me.
92 00:07:31 Or I might end up in a suitcase.
93 00:07:33 I mean, look at this place.
94 00:07:35 It looks like every serial killer reenactment documentary.
95 00:07:37 Why do you have a giant wrench?
96 00:07:39 Okay, it wouldn't be a suitcase. It'd be a carry-on because you're zero feet tall.
97 00:07:44 And my mom gave me that. She said no matter how broken something is, there's always a way to fix it.
98 00:07:51 I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm talking to you about my mom right now.
99 00:07:54 Alright. Then tell me about that.
100 00:07:57 That is a long story. Everybody survived.
101 00:08:03 Great.
102 00:09:14 Holly, I don't know this guy. He's fucking great.
103 00:09:31 Yo, let's go, Benny. Come on, cupcake. We're gonna be late.
104 00:09:34 'Sup, Pete.
105 00:09:36 No way. You cooked?
106 00:09:39 That girl you blew me off for stayed over?
107 00:09:42 He asked me out and then I kind of asked him out and then we
108 00:09:45 just walked around the city and we fell asleep talking.
109 00:09:48 I don't-- I left before you could wake up.
110 00:09:51 I don't know why. Why did I?
111 00:09:55 What the fuck am I doing?
112 00:09:56 Okay, I love you. Bye. I'm so sorry I woke you up. I didn't--
113 00:10:00 This whole thing is so new to me.
114 00:10:02 Bye.
115 00:10:04 You got cheese and bread.
116 00:10:06 You didn't miss one ingredient.
117 00:10:08 What you doing with that?
118 00:10:09 Why you got the giant wrench?
119 00:10:12 You told her about your mom, bro?
120 00:10:14 You don't tell nobody about your mom.
121 00:10:17 Fuck, dog.
122 00:10:18 You in love, man.
123 00:10:21 About fucking time, man.
124 00:10:23 My boy's in love.
125 00:10:24 Fuck that.
126 00:10:25 I couldn't get her out of here fast enough.
127 00:10:28 This girl's a disaster.
128 00:10:30 She's a nothing.
129 00:10:44 Want to get a mansion, a jacuzzi, a theater
130 00:10:47 to watch my movies, a couple whips and lots of fancy things.
131 00:10:51 The kids, they call the goonies.
132 00:10:52 I see the future crystal ball, mirror, mirror,
133 00:10:55 hanging on the wall.
134 00:10:56 Got your girlfriend screaming all the cops.
135 00:11:06 Hey.
136 00:11:07 Hey.
137 00:11:08 Claudia.
138 00:11:09 Holly.
139 00:11:12 There we go.
140 00:11:16 Hey, what's up, Glee?
141 00:11:19 Ben, this is Holly, my new girlfriend.
142 00:11:22 Are we saying that now?
143 00:11:24 Yeah, is that cool?
144 00:11:25 Yeah, I mean, I don't really like labels,
145 00:11:27 but I like you a whole bunch.
146 00:11:29 I like your friend a whole bunch.
147 00:11:30 And if she wants to put a label on me,
148 00:11:32 then she can sew it on wherever she wants.
149 00:11:34 That was weird.
150 00:11:35 That was weird.
151 00:11:35 I'm not into S&M or anything like that,
152 00:11:37 unless you are, which would be totally cool, you know?
153 00:11:39 You do you.
154 00:11:41 Well, she really likes you, too.
155 00:11:43 And that is very rare for her.
156 00:11:45 Oh, look who's talking.
157 00:11:48 How's the crowd in here tonight?
158 00:11:49 Over there, big boy.
159 00:11:54 Oh, B.
160 00:11:55 Ladies like dumplings?
161 00:11:56 We just had the greatest dumplings.
162 00:11:57 Pete, meet my sister.
163 00:11:59 This is Pete, Claudia's brother.
164 00:12:01 Nice to meet you.
165 00:12:01 And Ben.
166 00:12:03 Ben.
167 00:12:05 This is Ben.
168 00:12:06 We all grew up together.
169 00:12:09 Hey.
170 00:12:11 Yeah.
171 00:12:12 You two know each other?
172 00:12:14 Yeah, we met.
173 00:12:15 Barely.
174 00:12:16 Wow, that's so random.
175 00:12:18 I'm going to go grab a drink.
176 00:12:19 Door's that way if you're looking to sneak out.
177 00:12:22 I know that's your thing.
178 00:12:23 Well, I am a disaster.
179 00:12:27 Let's go away from this.
180 00:12:30 Yeah.
181 00:12:31 So you a lawyer yet?
182 00:12:32 Why?
183 00:12:33 Do you need a defense attorney?
184 00:12:35 I'm just curious how you passed the class on ethics
185 00:12:37 and not bailing on people.
186 00:12:38 I think that's the jerk who B got with when she was
187 00:12:41 on her break from Jonathan.
188 00:12:42 No way.
189 00:12:43 So B's the coffee girl who ghosted him?
190 00:12:46 I thought she looked familiar, but I don't see faces.
191 00:12:49 I just see souls.
192 00:12:50 At least he made her realize that Jonathan was the one.
193 00:12:52 I'm engaged now.
194 00:12:53 Good for you.
195 00:12:54 Where are you registered?
196 00:12:55 I'll buy you a broomstick.
197 00:12:55 I'll send you an invite.
198 00:12:57 You still live at 28 Fuckboy Lane?
199 00:12:59 You do remember.
200 00:13:00 See, it did mean something to you.
201 00:13:02 You'll always be my rock bottom.
202 00:13:04 The night I spent with a bitch.
203 00:13:05 Did she just call him a bitch?
204 00:13:06 You think they're going to physically fight?
205 00:13:08 Or fuck?
206 00:13:10 That's a fine line.
207 00:13:12 Let's just get through tonight for them, OK?
208 00:13:14 Elle, she's your sister.
209 00:13:15 I'm sure the relationship won't last long.
210 00:13:16 She's your friend.
211 00:13:18 I question why they're even together.
212 00:13:19 Then I'm going to get a drink and toast to never
213 00:13:21 seeing you again.
214 00:13:23 Cheers to that, bro.
215 00:13:25 ANYONE BUT YOU
216 00:13:29 So before I pronounce this newlywed couple,
217 00:13:31 if anyone has an issue with these two wonderful people
218 00:13:34 joining together in holy matrimony,
219 00:13:37 speak now or forever hold your peace.
220 00:13:39 I have an objection.
221 00:13:40 Leo, don't do this.
222 00:13:43 I have to, Annie.
223 00:13:43 It's just not right.
224 00:13:45 There's no way I can bless this union
225 00:13:49 without their friends and family joining us
226 00:13:51 to celebrate in Australia.
227 00:13:53 We're getting married in Sydney.
228 00:14:06 Welcome on board.
229 00:14:08 2K to the front.
230 00:14:10 Thank you, Sheryl.
231 00:14:12 51E, how long's the flight?
232 00:14:14 16 hours.
233 00:14:16 51F, thanks.
234 00:14:19 73F, all the way to the back.
235 00:14:42 Hey.
236 00:14:44 Head of the wedding?
237 00:14:46 Of my sister, yes, I am.
238 00:14:49 How crazy is it that we're on the same plane?
239 00:14:51 Don't think there's thousands of flights
240 00:14:53 flying to Sydney every day.
241 00:14:54 Oh, there's quite a few, actually.
242 00:14:55 Qantas, American, Qantas through Dubai, some co-chairs.
243 00:15:00 Serendipity, I guess.
244 00:15:01 I don't think that word means what you think it means.
245 00:15:04 So where's your fiance?
246 00:15:05 Wait, is this him?
247 00:15:05 Hey, I'm Ben.
248 00:15:06 I was her hall pass on your break.
249 00:15:08 What?
250 00:15:09 Oh my god, I forgot.
251 00:15:11 Claude told me you dumped him.
252 00:15:14 Did you sneak out on your wedding day?
253 00:15:15 Wow, you are a child.
254 00:15:17 It's a pretty long flight.
255 00:15:18 Do you want anything from the front of the boat?
256 00:15:20 Hot cookie, eye mask, pajamas, last 10 years of your life?
257 00:15:24 No, thank you.
258 00:15:25 I'm all good on creatine and smell like insecurity.
259 00:15:28 Nothing small about me.
260 00:15:30 What the fuck?
261 00:15:31 Have a good flight.
262 00:15:33 See you there.
263 00:15:39 Why do so many of us feel stuck?
264 00:15:42 How is it even a very successful?
265 00:15:44 Often feel like there is something
266 00:15:45 missing from their lives.
267 00:15:47 Why do so many people spend years
268 00:15:50 mystically thinking about choices they might have made?
269 00:15:53 One answer to that problem, many of us
270 00:15:58 are leading lives that are misaligned
271 00:16:01 with our own deepest values and preferences.
272 00:16:07 Thank you so much for joining me today on Hidden Brain.
273 00:16:09 What psychology can teach us about living
274 00:16:12 our most authentic lives?
275 00:17:43 What the fuck?
276 00:17:51 Hey, Vinny!
277 00:17:53 Vindale!
278 00:17:57 OK, Vin, looking good.
279 00:18:00 Thanks for picking me up, dude.
280 00:18:01 Not just you, my guy.
281 00:18:03 Spelling Bee!
282 00:18:04 Hey!
283 00:18:05 Our sisters are getting married.
284 00:18:06 How dope is that?
285 00:18:07 I know, I'm so excited.
286 00:18:08 Oh, great.
287 00:18:09 All right, let's hit it.
288 00:18:20 Bye.
289 00:18:21 Y'all ready for Australia?
290 00:18:27 Can't wait for y'all to see where we stay.
291 00:18:29 And the plan is so dope.
292 00:18:31 We're all staying at the same place?
293 00:18:33 Yep, my stepdad's house.
294 00:18:36 Super important for them to keep the wedding party together.
295 00:18:39 Sounds like a piece of information that could have been shared a little earlier.
296 00:18:42 Well, that's because they think you guys hate each other,
297 00:18:44 so they didn't want to poke the beard.
298 00:19:12 Not bad, right?
299 00:19:13 You don't even play tennis.
300 00:19:15 I know, but I feel sweet.
301 00:19:20 Hey, meet Kalonabee, y'all.
302 00:19:23 Meet Kalonabee.
303 00:19:26 Hey, meet Kalonabee.
304 00:19:27 All over.
305 00:19:28 All over.
306 00:19:29 Spin, spin, spin.
307 00:19:30 Woo-hoo!
308 00:19:32 He was the only member of the family who was trans.
309 00:19:34 Yeah, he was there.
310 00:19:39 Whoa.
311 00:19:41 You're right.
312 00:19:42 This place is insane.
313 00:19:43 I know.
314 00:19:45 All right, let's get some sand under your feet.
315 00:19:53 Have you guys made up?
316 00:19:54 All good.
317 00:19:55 We're fine if he just stays away from me.
318 00:19:57 Don't need an invitation for that.
319 00:19:58 I think you do if you're like this.
320 00:20:00 You can't leave me alone.
321 00:20:00 Same reason I slowed down at the car crash.
322 00:20:03 Okay, so you guys buried the hatchet,
323 00:20:05 water under the bridge, two adults adulting
324 00:20:07 like fucking adults.
325 00:20:08 Oh, we did have a little bit
326 00:20:09 of a last minute snafu though.
327 00:20:11 You guys are gonna have to share a room.
328 00:20:13 There's only one bed,
329 00:20:14 but we hung a shower curtain in the middle.
330 00:20:15 She's kidding.
331 00:20:18 You're funny.
332 00:20:19 I can't wait any longer.
333 00:20:21 Wait for me!
334 00:20:24 Hallie's such a goof.
335 00:20:27 She's good for you.
336 00:20:28 She could use some spontaneity.
337 00:20:31 Hey, this weekend is gonna be perfect.
338 00:20:35 I hope so.
339 00:20:36 I have a million contingencies
340 00:20:39 and scenarios for everything.
341 00:20:41 And honestly, I just want this wedding to be beautiful
342 00:20:43 because I love the shit out of her
343 00:20:45 and I just wanna marry the bitch, you know what I'm saying?
344 00:20:47 You're such a romantic.
345 00:20:50 Hey, don't be mad at me, but Margaret's here.
346 00:20:54 Why would I be mad?
347 00:20:56 She lives here, I was 100% expecting to see her.
348 00:20:59 Yeah.
349 00:21:00 Margaret, Margaret, look who's here.
350 00:21:02 There she is.
351 00:21:05 100%.
352 00:21:07 Go rip off the band-aid.
353 00:21:14 Babe!
354 00:21:17 How's it going, stranger?
355 00:21:20 I was hoping you'd come.
356 00:21:22 I wanted to message you,
357 00:21:23 but I didn't know how you'd feel about hearing from me.
358 00:21:25 Are you kidding?
359 00:21:29 I'm never leaving.
360 00:21:31 Never leave.
361 00:21:34 How are mom and dad?
362 00:21:35 They're good.
363 00:21:36 You know, mom now thinks she's Australian
364 00:21:38 and dad's not at all pointing out
365 00:21:40 every tiny little detail that's different.
366 00:21:43 They're also a little worried
367 00:21:44 how you're gonna react to all this.
368 00:21:46 What are you talking about?
369 00:21:47 Well, you know, everybody thought
370 00:21:48 that you'd be the one getting married first.
371 00:21:50 You always used to talk about your wedding growing up.
372 00:21:52 You used the toilet paper as a wedding dress
373 00:21:54 when I just used it to dress like a mummy, you know?
374 00:21:56 Hallie, stop.
375 00:21:57 That's not me anymore.
376 00:21:59 I'm free now.
377 00:22:00 I'm deprogrammed.
378 00:22:01 That does not mean I don't support you
379 00:22:03 and your misguided view that soulmates exist.
380 00:22:06 That's sweet.
381 00:22:07 Is that gonna be your toast?
382 00:22:10 You and Claudia are the exception.
383 00:22:12 I'm really happy for you, for real.
384 00:22:20 What's going on over there?
385 00:22:21 That's Claudia's cousin.
386 00:22:23 She visited the States a few years back.
387 00:22:25 They dated.
388 00:22:26 No biggie.
389 00:22:27 Broke up with him.
390 00:22:28 Crushed his heart.
391 00:22:29 No way, that man does not have a heart.
392 00:22:33 Feels like forever ago.
393 00:22:35 We were babies.
394 00:22:36 I'm really happy you're here.
395 00:22:38 We can reconnect as maybe not babies.
396 00:22:42 I would love that.
397 00:22:45 Beau!
398 00:22:47 Come eat my mate.
399 00:22:49 Ben, this is my partner, Beau.
400 00:22:51 Hi, mate.
401 00:22:53 Like, tennis partner?
402 00:22:55 Sometimes after.
403 00:22:58 How do you two dags know each other?
404 00:23:00 We had a bit of a go back when, didn't we?
405 00:23:02 Did you now?
406 00:23:03 Good on ya.
407 00:23:05 Hey, we're gonna go trotting this weekend.
408 00:23:07 Hit up the turps out here, eh?
409 00:23:08 It's gonna be a cracker.
410 00:23:09 Woo!
411 00:23:10 You know it.
412 00:23:13 Great guy.
413 00:23:14 Yeah.
414 00:23:38 Mommy!
415 00:23:40 Hey, Beatrice.
416 00:23:42 - Dad! - You made it.
417 00:23:43 Oh, baby.
418 00:23:44 Hi, baby.
419 00:23:45 Hi, honey.
420 00:23:46 Oh, my God.
421 00:23:47 Wow.
422 00:23:49 How's our future lawyer?
423 00:23:51 Great.
424 00:23:52 Great.
425 00:23:53 How's the trip been?
426 00:23:54 Oh, magical.
427 00:23:55 The Australians are all wonderful.
428 00:23:58 And excuse me, but good looking.
429 00:24:01 Oh.
430 00:24:01 Why are they so weird about their plugs?
431 00:24:03 I mean, this place is basically America.
432 00:24:05 They speak English, they eat regular food,
433 00:24:07 they have a complicated relationship with their past.
434 00:24:11 How are you doing, honey?
435 00:24:13 I'm doing okay.
436 00:24:14 I'm doing great.
437 00:24:16 My big sister's getting married.
438 00:24:18 Could have been you.
439 00:24:19 Could still be you someday.
440 00:24:21 Have you heard from Jonathan?
441 00:24:23 Did he call or anything?
442 00:24:24 Well, that didn't take long.
443 00:24:26 We're just torn up that he's not part
444 00:24:27 of our family anymore.
445 00:24:28 I mean, he works at our house every night
446 00:24:30 from like 11 years old.
447 00:24:32 He was basically family.
448 00:24:34 Was about to be actual family.
449 00:24:37 If I never ask you for anything ever again,
450 00:24:39 can you please just lay off of me this weekend?
451 00:24:43 I just want both of our daughters to be happy.
452 00:24:45 I'm very happy, but not when you guys do this.
453 00:24:48 Ned, you in the right direction?
454 00:24:50 He's such a great guy.
455 00:24:52 Just think on it, yeah?
456 00:25:03 Bee, dinner at 7.30, okay?
457 00:25:05 Yeah.
458 00:25:07 Yeah.
459 00:25:24 Ben, all set for dinner, yeah?
460 00:25:25 Yeah, I'll be there.
461 00:25:55 I was plagiarizing.
462 00:25:57 Hey!
463 00:25:58 Hi Ben!
464 00:25:58 Hey Ben!
465 00:25:59 Hey, hey, hey.
466 00:26:00 Hey, hey, hey.
467 00:26:01 Everybody?
468 00:26:03 Dad's speech.
469 00:26:04 Oh yes, right, okay.
470 00:26:05 We're gonna make this short,
471 00:26:06 because you've all traveled a bloody long distance,
472 00:26:08 and Carol and I are so appreciative.
473 00:26:11 Biggest thing we've missed since coming back
474 00:26:13 from the States is not seeing our kids.
475 00:26:16 And you lot, our extended family,
476 00:26:18 so we're just over the moon to have a full house
477 00:26:22 before the wedding on Sunday.
478 00:26:23 Where we will celebrate Hallie and Claudia,
479 00:26:26 setting off on this crazy thing called life.
480 00:26:30 And of course, Innie and Leo, our new family.
481 00:26:34 Well, we're just so grateful,
482 00:26:36 not only for your incredible hospitality,
483 00:26:39 but for bringing into the world your beautiful daughter.
484 00:26:42 So as they say in our country, abondanza.
485 00:26:45 Cheers!
486 00:26:48 Now baby.
487 00:26:55 Wow!
488 00:27:13 What classes are you loving?
489 00:27:15 Have you given any more thought to tort law?
490 00:27:18 'Cause class action is really where it's at right now.
491 00:27:20 What does Jonathan say?
492 00:27:21 He knows you pretty well.
493 00:27:22 What does he think you should do?
494 00:27:23 Mom.
495 00:27:24 Okay.
496 00:27:25 I can't even remember why we put you in the truck again.
497 00:27:27 We didn't put her in the trunk,
498 00:27:28 she stowed away in the trunk.
499 00:27:29 Yeah, I wanted to go with you guys to see Cinderella.
500 00:27:31 We were going to Coachella.
501 00:27:32 I know that now, it was nice.
502 00:27:34 All right, everyone.
503 00:27:36 So Sage is meant to cleanse negative energy.
504 00:27:40 Let's just have a moment to calm ourselves.
505 00:27:43 I am not looking at anybody in particular,
506 00:27:46 but I am looking at you, Bee, and you, Ben.
507 00:27:51 Crown chakra.
508 00:27:54 Let's hit that cobra.
509 00:27:56 Cleanse, get that weasel.
510 00:27:59 Okay.
511 00:28:00 Go!
512 00:28:00 You go, you go.
513 00:28:02 Sign of the times.
514 00:28:04 All right, all right, four words.
515 00:28:05 First word, the, A, of, if.
516 00:28:08 Animosity, hate, liar.
517 00:28:10 Five words.
518 00:28:11 No, just shut the fuck up.
519 00:28:12 The Bible.
520 00:28:13 A woman, a woman, a woman who uses her sexuality
521 00:28:16 to take advantage of other people.
522 00:28:18 Mom, focus, okay?
523 00:28:19 Right here, right here.
524 00:28:20 This is a white people's game.
525 00:28:21 Y'all spend so much time trying to trick each other.
526 00:28:23 Y'all got so much time on your hands.
527 00:28:24 Just say the word.
528 00:28:26 It's on the extreme.
529 00:28:27 Grumpy old man.
530 00:28:28 Hi.
531 00:28:30 Hi.
532 00:28:31 Okay, okay, yeah, okay.
533 00:28:36 Fuck boy.
534 00:28:37 Old cat woman.
535 00:28:40 Your ego.
536 00:28:42 Okay.
537 00:28:46 What is this?
538 00:28:47 Wait, no props.
539 00:28:48 No one cares, no one can see us.
540 00:28:49 Cheaters are shocking.
541 00:28:50 Says the woman who cheated on her fiance.
542 00:28:52 We were on a break, asshole.
543 00:28:53 You're either broken up for good, or you're cheating.
544 00:28:56 Either way, someone's lying to someone.
545 00:28:57 I must have really gotten under your skin.
546 00:28:58 Roger, what is this?
547 00:29:00 Fat, five.
548 00:29:01 What is the thing I'm holding in my hand?
549 00:29:03 Fireworks.
550 00:29:04 Fireworks by Katy Perry.
551 00:29:05 Hey.
552 00:29:07 That is not fair.
553 00:29:08 Hey, what, you're not fair.
554 00:29:09 What's wrong with you?
555 00:29:10 Just stop.
556 00:29:11 What are you doing?
557 00:29:12 What is wrong with you?
558 00:29:13 Stop.
559 00:29:13 Oh God.
560 00:29:17 Oh God.
561 00:29:18 Sam, what the?
562 00:29:19 Oh my God.
563 00:29:21 Ali.
564 00:29:23 Get back.
565 00:29:24 Sam.
566 00:29:25 Roger.
567 00:29:26 I've got this.
568 00:29:32 That's some gangster shit right there.
569 00:29:37 Sorry.
570 00:29:38 Sorry.
571 00:29:41 They're going to ruin our wedding.
572 00:29:43 All that matters is that we're together.
573 00:29:45 It's true.
574 00:29:48 Look baby, I love you to the moon and back,
575 00:29:50 but those two fuckwads are going to destroy our weekend,
576 00:29:53 and our memories, which we are going to have
577 00:29:55 for a very long time, are headed straight over a cliff.
578 00:29:58 It's going to be fine baby, we just have to.
579 00:30:00 to stand there and profess our love.
580 00:30:02 It seems to me, their animus only surfaced
581 00:30:05 after they spent a night together.
582 00:30:07 Am I accurate?
583 00:30:08 That's usually how it goes, honey.
584 00:30:10 We crumple our feelings into a ball
585 00:30:12 and shove 'em deep down so we can enjoy a bit of frisk.
586 00:30:16 The solution appears to be simple then.
587 00:30:18 We return them to the night they were spent.
588 00:30:20 Like we trick them into falling in love with each other?
589 00:30:23 He didn't say anything about love, honey.
590 00:30:25 We just need to get them to jump each other's bones.
591 00:31:18 Yeah, come on!
592 00:31:20 That was good, right?
593 00:31:22 That was good.
594 00:31:42 You go, you go, you go, you go, you go.
595 00:31:45 She clearly has eyes for men.
596 00:31:47 Who does, father?
597 00:31:48 Hallie Spence, the sister.
598 00:31:50 The plump-chested one with the sad eyes.
599 00:31:52 You can't say that.
600 00:31:53 What the hell?
601 00:31:54 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
602 00:31:55 No, that was rude.
603 00:31:56 I apologize to anyone that was listening,
604 00:31:59 which can only be you, Pete,
605 00:32:01 'cause you're the only person that was listening.
606 00:32:02 I apologize.
607 00:32:03 I accept your apology and will now move on.
608 00:32:06 Do you know Bea's been in love with Ben
609 00:32:07 since the first night they met?
610 00:32:09 Well, why didn't she tell him?
611 00:32:11 You know, when I was a young bloke and I liked a girl,
612 00:32:13 I would sneak up behind her and I'd cut a lock of her hair
613 00:32:16 and then I'd smack her on the bum!
614 00:32:18 What the hell?
615 00:32:19 I don't know, I'm not good at this, sorry.
616 00:32:20 Bea was just too scared to tell him,
617 00:32:22 but I've talked to her and she says she regrets
618 00:32:23 walking out that morning.
619 00:32:25 Tell me more, son.
620 00:32:26 Why me?
621 00:32:27 Because you're really good at it, right?
622 00:32:28 You can do it.
623 00:32:29 Why me, why?
624 00:32:30 Why you put this hat on me?
625 00:32:31 No one can see me, it's a radio play, motherfucker.
626 00:32:33 Bea wants us to tell him how much she likes him,
627 00:32:35 so he lets his guard down and goes to her.
628 00:32:36 Some Cupid's killed with arrows and some with traps.
629 00:32:39 That was good, I like that, that's good.
630 00:32:41 I just made it up.
631 00:32:42 So, he needs to go to her, drop his drawers,
632 00:32:45 and say, "Come to Papa."
633 00:32:47 What are you doing?
634 00:32:48 I'm from a different generation.
635 00:32:49 And your generation sucks.
636 00:32:50 You fucked up the whole world for us.
637 00:32:52 And I'm full of shame.
638 00:32:53 But the bottom line, Bea likes Ben.
639 00:32:57 But Ben feels awful that he called her a disaster.
640 00:33:01 I mean, he said it was his fragile male ego.
641 00:33:03 Then why is he fighting with her?
642 00:33:05 Well, because he likes her.
643 00:33:07 And I know that Bea likes Ben.
644 00:33:09 She's just denying herself because she's got in her head
645 00:33:11 somehow that she'll never love again.
646 00:33:12 Whoa, I'm not talking about love, baby.
647 00:33:14 I'm talking about dick.
648 00:33:17 Oh, it's Ben.
649 00:33:18 Oh.
650 00:33:30 Hey.
651 00:33:32 You.
652 00:33:34 Oh God, they got to you too?
653 00:33:37 What?
654 00:33:38 Did you just overhear Holly and Claudia
655 00:33:40 say how much I like you?
656 00:33:43 No.
657 00:33:44 Really?
658 00:33:45 It was Pete and Roger.
659 00:33:48 Fantastic, it's a team effort.
660 00:33:51 They're trying to get us together.
661 00:33:53 No way.
662 00:33:55 Come here.
663 00:34:04 Oh, maybe they want us to stop acting like assholes
664 00:34:06 so we don't ruin the biggest event of their lives.
665 00:34:08 Us?
666 00:34:09 There is no us and assholes.
667 00:34:11 You're the one who destroyed the living room.
668 00:34:13 Would you two mind helping me with something?
669 00:34:15 I hate to ask, but I'd really appreciate it.
670 00:34:18 Sure.
671 00:34:19 Yeah.
672 00:34:28 So Roger left his sunglasses on the sailboat.
673 00:34:32 I swear, if his head wasn't screwed on,
674 00:34:34 we'd use it as a bowling ball.
675 00:34:37 Do me a favor and swim out and get them.
676 00:34:39 It's the one on the right.
677 00:34:41 Both of us.
678 00:34:42 Is that really a two person job?
679 00:34:43 Doesn't seem like it.
680 00:34:45 You two.
681 00:34:46 Yeah.
682 00:34:55 All right, so everyone's involved in this.
683 00:34:57 I know.
684 00:35:00 I feel bad.
685 00:35:02 Me too.
686 00:35:03 I don't want to bum Holly and Claudia out.
687 00:35:04 Just me and you.
688 00:35:06 Can you not swim?
689 00:35:08 I'm an excellent swimmer.
690 00:35:09 Why are you so out of breath?
691 00:35:10 I'm fine.
692 00:35:12 How much further do you think?
693 00:35:13 Are your eyes closed?
694 00:35:14 I think it's dark.
695 00:35:16 Why are you so out of shape?
696 00:35:17 You have like a 10 pop.
697 00:35:18 I'm not out of shape.
698 00:35:19 I've been to 295, 300 once.
699 00:35:22 I just don't do cardio.
700 00:35:23 Oh my God, you're hot girl fit.
701 00:35:26 I'm not hot girl fit.
702 00:35:28 Okay, my bad.
703 00:35:30 We'll see you at the boat.
704 00:35:31 Wait, wait, wait.
705 00:35:57 I could have done it myself, but whatever.
706 00:36:01 Thanks.
707 00:36:06 No fucking way.
708 00:36:07 Honey, look who's here.
709 00:36:10 I cannot believe they did this.
710 00:36:12 Who is that?
711 00:36:12 That is my ex, Jonathan.
712 00:36:15 Hey, hey.
713 00:36:16 What is he doing here?
714 00:36:17 My Black Hawk helicopter parents
715 00:36:19 have been trying to get us back together
716 00:36:20 for the past four months.
717 00:36:21 They flew him halfway across the world
718 00:36:23 to your sister's wedding?
719 00:36:24 That's some deep off shit.
720 00:36:25 They came to play.
721 00:36:27 That's my parents.
722 00:36:28 They think I'm throwing my life away.
723 00:36:30 Honey, we're just gonna take him back
724 00:36:32 and get him all settled in.
725 00:36:33 I'll see you later.
726 00:36:38 You know, maybe we should do it.
727 00:36:39 Just tell everyone we're together.
728 00:36:41 What?
729 00:36:42 It would solve that problem for me
730 00:36:44 and that problem for you.
731 00:36:50 I don't have a problem.
732 00:36:51 You clearly want Margaret.
733 00:36:53 No, I don't.
734 00:36:53 Yes, you do.
735 00:36:54 I saw the way you looked at her last night
736 00:36:56 and I know she broke your heart.
737 00:36:57 She sees you're with me.
738 00:36:59 She wants what she can't have
739 00:37:00 and then bye bye crocodile Jack.
740 00:37:05 Fuck, he's fast.
741 00:37:07 Making her jealous is not gonna work.
742 00:37:09 We're not in seventh grade.
743 00:37:10 Trust me, bro.
744 00:37:11 We're all in seventh grade when it comes to this stuff.
745 00:37:14 They've already gone through all of the bullshit
746 00:37:16 trying to trick us into each other's arms.
747 00:37:18 Let's just embrace it.
748 00:37:20 There's no way we can convince anyone
749 00:37:21 we actually like each other.
750 00:37:26 Yeah, you're right.
751 00:37:27 I know.
752 00:37:32 You know, I still think about that night we spent together.
753 00:37:34 Shut up.
754 00:37:37 No, I'm serious.
755 00:37:40 You know, this could be kind of fun.
756 00:37:43 We're at a wedding a million miles away from home.
757 00:37:48 Who knows what could happen under the cover of a masquerade.
758 00:37:54 And that night at your place,
759 00:37:56 no matter how it ended, it was still pretty amazing.
760 00:38:07 Convincing enough?
761 00:38:12 Fuck it.
762 00:38:13 Let's do it.
763 00:38:17 Just wait.
764 00:38:23 Wait.
765 00:38:31 Okay, okay.
766 00:38:31 Whoever wants to go on the hike, we need to leave now.
767 00:38:34 We're running behind schedule.
768 00:38:36 Wait, wait, wait.
769 00:38:37 Babe, the mountains have been there for millions of years.
770 00:38:40 A few more minutes isn't gonna hurt them.
771 00:38:42 Baby, I know you are trying to calm me down
772 00:38:44 and I love you for it.
773 00:38:45 Thank you.
774 00:38:45 But I am hurting cats right now
775 00:38:47 and I need some help
776 00:38:47 instead of this easy breezy Martin Scorsese.
777 00:38:50 Aw, jitters.
778 00:38:53 Remember our wedding?
779 00:38:54 Only that you're the most beautiful bride
780 00:38:56 on God's green earth.
781 00:38:58 Right answer.
782 00:38:59 We're coming, we're coming, we're coming.
783 00:39:02 Jinx, you owe me a cup.
784 00:39:05 Oh, you have a little something in your teeth.
785 00:39:06 Oh, no, wait, get it, get it, get it.
786 00:39:07 Yeah, let me just take that out.
787 00:39:08 Oh, I gotta get it out.
788 00:39:10 Oh, it's right there.
789 00:39:10 Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it.
790 00:39:14 Honey, here he is.
791 00:39:17 Hey.
792 00:39:18 Jonathan.
793 00:39:20 So nice to see you.
794 00:39:21 I had no idea you were coming.
795 00:39:23 So your parents didn't tell you, okay?
796 00:39:25 Yeah, you know, the first thing I asked them
797 00:39:26 when they invited me was, "Does B know?"
798 00:39:28 'Cause otherwise this would be really fucking awkward.
799 00:39:31 And now it is fucking awkward.
800 00:39:33 No, no, not at all.
801 00:39:34 I'm in a lot of love.
802 00:39:35 No, you're like family.
803 00:39:36 It'd be effing awkward if you weren't here.
804 00:39:37 I'm so glad you're here.
805 00:39:38 I'm so happy for you two.
806 00:39:40 Hey, congratulations.
807 00:39:41 Yeah, thanks.
808 00:39:43 Right?
809 00:39:44 It's great to see you.
810 00:39:46 It's great to see you too.
811 00:39:47 We're all going on a hike,
812 00:39:48 so whoever wants to come with, we gotta move out.
813 00:39:51 Let's move out.
814 00:39:52 Ben, meet Jonathan.
815 00:39:55 Oh, hey, man.
816 00:39:56 I'm Ben.
817 00:39:57 Hey, oh, Pete and Claudia's friend, right?
818 00:40:00 Also friends with Bea, among other things.
819 00:40:09 Yeah, it's nice to meet you.
820 00:40:11 Okay, plenty of enough time in the car to do whatever the fuck this is.
821 00:40:14 Come on, let's go!
822 00:40:16 Yeah, okay. Yeah.
823 00:40:19 We need to come up with a game plan.
824 00:40:21 Yeah, you are so terrible at this.
825 00:40:22 What?
826 00:40:24 We're doing this thing!
827 00:40:26 Honey, I'm sorry.
828 00:40:28 I know we should have asked you, but we had to invite you.
829 00:40:31 Oh, it's totally fine. I'm glad he's here.
830 00:40:34 I love him and Holly loves him.
831 00:40:36 Really?
832 00:40:37 Yeah.
833 00:40:38 Great, okay. So we're spending a little time together away from the real world
834 00:40:41 and see if you rekindle, re-spark, re-bark.
835 00:40:44 Oh, no, Mom, guys, no.
836 00:40:46 I totally forgot to tell you, but I'm with Ben.
837 00:40:56 Do you want to come?
838 00:40:57 I think I'm going to hang back and yell at your parents.
839 00:41:01 Have fun.
840 00:41:12 Alright, so is it like we just got together or we've been sneaking around?
841 00:41:15 Oh, I got it. What if we ran into each other at Chipotle,
842 00:41:18 lady in the tramp, the burrito?
843 00:41:20 No.
844 00:41:21 This can't be that hard.
845 00:41:23 It's harder than you think. My parents don't even believe it yet.
846 00:41:25 You told them five seconds ago.
847 00:41:27 They know I would never go out with a guy like you.
848 00:41:29 You've been with one guy your entire life.
849 00:41:31 Jonathan's a better man than you'll ever be.
850 00:41:33 And yet you left him.
851 00:41:35 Which is why exactly? Because he seems like he checks all your boxes.
852 00:41:37 Okay, you don't know my boxes and you never will.
853 00:41:40 Just figure this out, please.
854 00:41:42 Okay.
855 00:41:43 We just suck face in front of everybody.
856 00:41:46 Half of them think they set us up anyway.
857 00:41:48 No, that's too much. We need to do something that's more hidden
858 00:41:51 so it feels more real, not some fuckboy wedding hookup.
859 00:41:54 You're calling me a fuckboy like it's an insult?
860 00:41:56 I own that shit.
861 00:41:57 Let's just be affectionate.
862 00:41:59 I know it's a foreign concept for you.
863 00:42:01 I can be affectionate.
864 00:42:03 I'll affectionate the shit out of you.
865 00:42:05 I can't believe your parents invited Jonathan.
866 00:42:07 Now I have to find a table to sit him at.
867 00:42:09 What about Bea?
868 00:42:10 No, no, she's fine. She's sitting with us at our table.
869 00:42:12 No, I'm talking about how she's already at a low point because she's going through a breakup
870 00:42:15 and I don't even know what's happening with school.
871 00:42:16 She never even talks about it anymore.
872 00:42:19 I guess I could put up with the cousins.
873 00:42:21 Why?
874 00:42:25 You alright?
875 00:42:27 Oh, shit.
876 00:42:29 Wow.
877 00:42:30 Check it out, guys!
878 00:42:32 Nice!
879 00:42:33 Yeah!
880 00:42:34 Beautiful!
881 00:42:35 See, I told you it was going to be good.
882 00:42:37 Man, that's nice.
883 00:42:38 Oh, wow.
884 00:42:39 Wow.
885 00:42:40 So beautiful.
886 00:42:41 There it is.
887 00:42:42 Feel the serenity.
888 00:42:43 Pretty spectacular, hey?
889 00:42:45 It's amazing.
890 00:42:47 Alright, your turn.
891 00:42:51 Wow.
892 00:42:53 This is just so romantic.
893 00:42:57 Okay, nuzzle my neck.
894 00:42:58 Okay.
895 00:42:59 Get in there.
896 00:43:01 Damn, you are short.
897 00:43:04 You are not tall enough to say that.
898 00:43:06 Oh.
899 00:43:07 Oh, are you ticklish?
900 00:43:08 No, I'm acting.
901 00:43:09 Like a toddler?
902 00:43:11 No, go away.
903 00:43:12 Okay, I can use that.
904 00:43:13 Beg me.
905 00:43:14 Beg me to stuff you in the butt.
906 00:43:15 Stop!
907 00:43:17 Just let me do it.
908 00:43:18 Permission to put my left hand on your right buttock.
909 00:43:22 Granted.
910 00:43:23 Too hard.
911 00:43:24 Sorry.
912 00:43:25 You gotta sell it.
913 00:43:27 Okay, not in circles.
914 00:43:29 It's not a magic lamp.
915 00:43:30 What?
916 00:43:45 Okay, now you're just playing bop it.
917 00:43:47 I've never rubbed a bopper show.
918 00:43:49 Clearly, you've tried.
919 00:43:54 Are you not wearing underwear?
920 00:43:56 It's a swimsuit.
921 00:43:57 I'm on holiday.
922 00:43:58 Oh.
923 00:44:00 Okay, just mind the gap.
924 00:44:01 How's that?
925 00:44:02 That's good.
926 00:44:03 Just like, but you don't have to hover.
927 00:44:04 Just kind of, oh, man the woods.
928 00:44:06 I'm sorry.
929 00:44:07 Okay, just take it out.
930 00:44:12 You try.
931 00:44:14 You want me to stick my finger in my own ass?
932 00:44:15 How's that gonna convince?
933 00:44:17 Oh, on you.
934 00:44:19 I can't.
935 00:44:20 Jesus Christ, it's like a vacuum pack down here.
936 00:44:22 How'd you get in this thing?
937 00:44:24 Oh, man, it's tight.
938 00:44:25 Oh, see, it's like holding a baby bird.
939 00:44:28 God damn it.
940 00:44:32 Were they not watching this whole time?
941 00:44:35 You like a mole or something on your butt?
942 00:44:37 No.
943 00:44:38 Really? 'Cause I feel something.
944 00:44:39 I don't have a mole.
945 00:44:41 What the fuck?
946 00:44:43 What the fuck?
947 00:44:45 What the fuck?
948 00:44:47 What the fuck?
949 00:44:48 What the fuck?
950 00:44:50 Are there any more on me?
951 00:44:51 I don't know.
952 00:44:52 Jack, spiders hunt bears.
953 00:44:55 They hunt bears.
954 00:44:59 No pictures.
955 00:45:02 Put the cameras down.
956 00:45:04 We're not gonna take a spirit.
957 00:45:06 Are there any more?
958 00:45:07 I don't know.
959 00:45:08 Where are they?
960 00:45:09 I feel it.
961 00:45:10 I feel it.
962 00:45:11 I think I see something.
963 00:45:12 What do you see?
964 00:45:13 What do you see?
965 00:45:14 Oh, no, that's just a part of you.
966 00:45:16 You're fine.
967 00:45:17 All right, look, if I have one of those little fuckers in me,
968 00:45:18 they might be in you.
969 00:45:22 I'm good.
970 00:45:24 That's probably a better way to check than what I did.
971 00:45:26 Yeah.
972 00:45:32 All right, little one, we join your journey.
973 00:45:36 We do not inherit the earth.
974 00:45:38 We just borrow it from our creatures.
975 00:45:42 Hey, guys.
976 00:45:43 What did we miss?
977 00:45:46 Wow.
978 00:45:57 Why can't I get this?
979 00:45:59 Because you're meant to learn to dive when you're six.
980 00:46:03 You got this, hon.
981 00:46:05 You ever try focusing on your toes?
982 00:46:07 My mom taught me this trick.
983 00:46:08 If you pretend like there's a string from your nose to your toes,
984 00:46:11 you just kind of maintain that position.
985 00:46:13 You mind doing it again?
986 00:46:14 This time I'm going to shout out a tribute question.
987 00:46:16 I think it's just going to help clear your mind.
988 00:46:18 Just make sure it's a question about airplanes
989 00:46:20 or the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.
990 00:46:24 Okay, um, uh, what company created the Concorde?
991 00:46:30 A collaboration between British Airways and the French government.
992 00:46:33 How'd I do?
993 00:46:35 You're good there.
994 00:46:37 Maybe your mom can teach him how to dive.
995 00:46:41 She passed away.
996 00:46:42 Oh, I'm so sorry.
997 00:46:45 Yeah, sorry.
998 00:46:46 All right, I'm going to go again,
999 00:46:48 but this time give me one with a little shorter answer.
1000 00:46:50 I have a better idea.
1001 00:46:52 You just let me do everything, I'll guide you in.
1002 00:46:56 Don't think.
1003 00:46:57 Be careful of his shoulder.
1004 00:46:59 Yeah, I wrecked it jumping off a moving train in Paris.
1005 00:47:02 Wouldn't let me see the Eiffel Tower alone.
1006 00:47:04 I had to tell her I love her.
1007 00:47:06 When you know she's the one, nothing else matters.
1008 00:47:18 I'm waving, thank you, thank you.
1009 00:47:21 There you go.
1010 00:47:24 Did I do it?
1011 00:47:25 Yeah.
1012 00:47:26 Yeah.
1013 00:47:27 Good job, babe.
1014 00:47:28 Your dad's a natural.
1015 00:47:30 I'm so glad you guys got to spend some time with Ben.
1016 00:47:32 Are you two really getting to know each other in a very respectful manner?
1017 00:47:36 One befitting such a kind and intelligent woman as your daughter.
1018 00:47:39 Yes, we are in the early stages.
1019 00:47:41 Not too early.
1020 00:47:42 But also not so advanced.
1021 00:47:43 Just that magical moment when two people come together in this crazy journey we call life.
1022 00:47:48 That's why I was so worried when Jonathan showed up.
1023 00:47:50 I don't want to hurt his feelings.
1024 00:47:52 I even suggested we hide our light under a bushel for his sake.
1025 00:47:55 But our love is just so strong.
1026 00:47:58 And I know what you guys are thinking.
1027 00:48:00 He's much older.
1028 00:48:02 They weren't, right?
1029 00:48:04 Probably thinking I'm 27, early 28s.
1030 00:48:09 Yes, we are very happy.
1031 00:48:11 Happiest.
1032 00:48:12 Yep.
1033 00:48:18 You know, you looked like that back in the day.
1034 00:48:20 No, I didn't.
1035 00:48:21 That guy's made out of cobblestone.
1036 00:48:24 They're holding hands.
1037 00:48:26 I think it's working.
1038 00:48:27 I can't believe these dumbasses were so easily fooled.
1039 00:48:33 Was that bullshit about your mom?
1040 00:48:35 What?
1041 00:48:36 The story about the giant wrench.
1042 00:48:38 I thought it might have been a lie until all your one night nothings.
1043 00:48:43 You ever heard that too?
1044 00:48:47 Like, I didn't mean...
1045 00:48:52 I'm sorry.
1046 00:48:55 And it wasn't a lie.
1047 00:48:59 Thanks for being so nice to my dad.
1048 00:49:05 You should probably rinse off.
1049 00:49:07 You have his SPF a billion on you now.
1050 00:49:18 Cheers, mate. I'll just grab a quickie.
1051 00:49:20 Okay.
1052 00:49:25 So, Australia.
1053 00:49:26 What do you reckon, eh?
1054 00:49:28 How you finding it?
1055 00:49:29 I don't know. It's great.
1056 00:49:30 Maz goes on about you all the time.
1057 00:49:32 Ripper Cunt, she calls you.
1058 00:49:34 Maz is Margaret, and Ripper Cunt is...
1059 00:49:37 Good friend.
1060 00:49:39 Oh, yeah.
1061 00:49:41 You know you had a proper surf when sand gets all up your clacker.
1062 00:49:45 And your gobbler, too.
1063 00:49:47 Gobbler is...
1064 00:49:48 You know, your hog bonnet.
1065 00:49:51 You know, your beef cap.
1066 00:49:53 Come on, mate. You know, the anteater.
1067 00:49:58 Anyway, good to have ya.
1068 00:50:01 Gotcha.
1069 00:50:05 G'day, love.
1070 00:50:10 Hey, mate.
1071 00:50:11 Fancy a game?
1072 00:50:13 You're going down.
1073 00:50:18 How have you been doing?
1074 00:50:19 Pretty good.
1075 00:50:20 You?
1076 00:50:22 Okay, I guess.
1077 00:50:23 How's school going?
1078 00:50:25 Decide what kind of law you wanna practice yet?
1079 00:50:27 You know me.
1080 00:50:28 I've never been one for practicing.
1081 00:50:30 Still having second thoughts?
1082 00:50:32 Straight to third.
1083 00:50:34 I know it's weird, me being here,
1084 00:50:36 but believe me, I had nothing to do with it.
1085 00:50:39 Your parents duped me, gave me the freaking flyer miles.
1086 00:50:42 That's sweet.
1087 00:50:43 You're part of the family.
1088 00:50:46 I'd be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about you.
1089 00:50:53 Yeah, me too.
1090 00:50:57 How long have you and that guy, Ben, been?
1091 00:51:00 It's kind of new.
1092 00:51:01 Not like new, new, but newish.
1093 00:51:04 Well, I think he seems great.
1094 00:51:07 No, you don't.
1095 00:51:08 I really don't.
1096 00:51:11 Thanks for being so cool about all of this.
1097 00:51:16 Not just this, but this too.
1098 00:51:22 It's really good to see you, Bea.
1099 00:51:24 I'm glad you're here.
1100 00:51:27 Now let's have fun.
1101 00:51:29 Let's do it.
1102 00:51:44 Mate.
1103 00:51:46 That's me.
1104 00:51:48 You want a coffee?
1105 00:51:50 It's the best in the world.
1106 00:51:51 You guys are really proud of your coffee here.
1107 00:51:54 It's the best in the fucking world.
1108 00:51:56 Okay.
1109 00:51:57 Enjoy.
1110 00:52:03 Fuck, that is good.
1111 00:52:05 I was thinking of going for a bit of a run later.
1112 00:52:08 Do you want to join?
1113 00:52:11 I'm actually going on a bike ride with Bea,
1114 00:52:13 so I don't think I can.
1115 00:52:15 She's a little sweet on you, hey?
1116 00:52:17 Oh, you caught that.
1117 00:52:19 How long have you and Beau been together?
1118 00:52:21 Nah, we're just banging about.
1119 00:52:23 He's nice, but I think I'm looking
1120 00:52:24 for someone less casual.
1121 00:52:26 More romantic.
1122 00:52:28 Wow.
1123 00:52:31 Why did me and you ever break up anyway?
1124 00:52:34 I don't really remember,
1125 00:52:35 but I think you said something like
1126 00:52:37 I was an immature, drongo, smothered in ex body spray.
1127 00:52:46 Smells like you're not that guy anymore.
1128 00:52:49 Bea's a lucky girl.
1129 00:52:55 Oh.
1130 00:53:05 Hey, open the door.
1131 00:53:07 Bea.
1132 00:53:10 What's wrong?
1133 00:53:11 Margaret thinks we're together.
1134 00:53:13 That's great.
1135 00:53:14 No, Margaret needs to think
1136 00:53:15 we're the right type of together.
1137 00:53:17 Not together together, but like situationally together.
1138 00:53:19 'Cause if she thinks we're together together,
1139 00:53:20 she's not gonna break girl code.
1140 00:53:21 So we need to finesse our togetherness
1141 00:53:23 so that we're together,
1142 00:53:24 but there's an opening for our togetherness
1143 00:53:26 and she can just slide right in
1144 00:53:28 so that we can be together.
1145 00:53:29 Are you on Coke?
1146 00:53:30 No, it's like coffee here.
1147 00:53:31 It's like meth.
1148 00:53:32 I'm guessing.
1149 00:53:33 No, I'm not.
1150 00:53:34 I worked at Goldman.
1151 00:53:35 Partner's wedding.
1152 00:53:36 Do what you do.
1153 00:53:37 Jesus, dude, who are you?
1154 00:53:39 I'm a man trying to figure this out.
1155 00:53:41 Look at your room, it's so much bigger.
1156 00:53:43 You got a painting?
1157 00:53:44 Wow, that's so red.
1158 00:53:46 We have to kick it up a notch.
1159 00:53:47 Make it feel like we're in the Gaga stage.
1160 00:53:49 What do you wanna do, take me in the hallway?
1161 00:53:51 That is not Gaga.
1162 00:53:53 Actually, that could be construed as Gaga.
1163 00:53:55 Tonight's the rehearsal dinner,
1164 00:53:56 so we have to do something
1165 00:53:56 that makes it look like you're into me,
1166 00:53:57 but you're not into me.
1167 00:53:59 And I'm into you,
1168 00:54:00 but you can tell by my face that it's never gonna mount.
1169 00:54:03 Get it together, man.
1170 00:54:05 You hit me so much.
1171 00:54:09 Okay, Kalana,
1172 00:54:10 now pretend this is a real fox that messed up our garden.
1173 00:54:15 Fuck it up.
1174 00:54:16 Fuck it up, fuck it up, fuck it up, fuck it up.
1175 00:54:18 Yeah, fuck it up, fuck it up.
1176 00:54:20 Fuck it up.
1177 00:54:20 Ooh.
1178 00:54:21 You see that?
1179 00:54:22 He did it, yeah.
1180 00:54:24 Oh, hey, they're here.
1181 00:54:26 All right, everybody, wheels up.
1182 00:54:27 Hustle up.
1183 00:54:28 Bad dog.
1184 00:54:29 You look cute.
1185 00:54:30 Baby, you look so good.
1186 00:54:32 She's has been.
1187 00:54:33 You look so good.
1188 00:54:34 Yeah, I look bad.
1189 00:54:35 Man, this is the best time to say that.
1190 00:54:39 Daddy's a dad.
1191 00:54:40 Come on, let's go.
1192 00:54:42 Yeah.
1193 00:54:42 All right, let's do it.
1194 00:55:02 Thank you.
1195 00:55:06 You see the size of that boat?
1196 00:55:09 Hey, guys.
1197 00:55:10 Woo!
1198 00:55:20 Nice touch.
1199 00:55:22 Nice dress.
1200 00:55:23 You have a good heart.
1201 00:55:55 I love this dress.
1202 00:55:56 You look fine.
1203 00:55:57 Oh, thank you.
1204 00:55:58 What would you like to drink?
1205 00:55:59 What's a traditional drink for a rehearsal dinner?
1206 00:56:02 Three scotches neat and a champagne for the lady.
1207 00:56:04 Oh, thank you.
1208 00:56:05 All right.
1209 00:56:06 You remembered.
1210 00:56:07 That you can't handle hard liquor?
1211 00:56:09 Yeah, the smell's still not out of my car.
1212 00:56:11 You know I feel really bad about that.
1213 00:56:15 That was a fun night.
1214 00:56:17 That was a fun summer.
1215 00:56:19 Marks!
1216 00:56:22 Marks, captain says that we can steer the ship.
1217 00:56:25 Oh, okay, I'm coming.
1218 00:56:27 Hang on, I've got heels on.
1219 00:56:30 Look how lucky we are.
1220 00:56:31 On a boat sailing back and forth
1221 00:56:32 with no real transportation or reason.
1222 00:56:35 Okay.
1223 00:56:36 And look at you, Polly Pocket.
1224 00:56:38 You the belle of the boat.
1225 00:56:45 He didn't remember me.
1226 00:56:48 Oh, hey, look, is that Tasmania?
1227 00:56:50 No, honey, that's, yes, I think it might be.
1228 00:56:54 Polly, Tasmania, God damn it.
1229 00:56:56 There it is.
1230 00:56:57 Well, at least that was subtle.
1231 00:56:59 Was it?
1232 00:57:01 This oddly reminds me of prom.
1233 00:57:03 The first or second time?
1234 00:57:05 Jonathan is just the most perfect guy.
1235 00:57:08 He's like a son to us.
1236 00:57:10 Well, that might be a problem, mate.
1237 00:57:12 They might not wanna shag a brother.
1238 00:57:37 So how's it going?
1239 00:57:38 Can parents back off a little?
1240 00:57:42 How about you?
1241 00:57:50 Game on.
1242 00:57:51 Can you even dance?
1243 00:57:52 You just let me lead.
1244 00:57:54 Oh, God.
1245 00:58:05 Let's go.
1246 00:58:43 Is Margaret watching?
1247 00:58:47 It's a little hard to tell
1248 00:58:48 what bitch Hemsworth am I wearing.
1249 00:58:50 Everybody to the top deck,
1250 00:58:51 we about to do a champagne toast.
1251 00:58:54 I'm with you.
1252 00:58:59 So what are we doing?
1253 00:59:01 Closing the deal.
1254 00:59:11 Titanic me.
1255 00:59:12 What?
1256 00:59:13 Oh, help yourself to some champagne.
1257 00:59:15 Oh, thank you.
1258 00:59:16 Grab some drinks.
1259 00:59:17 Oh, great.
1260 00:59:18 Nice.
1261 00:59:19 Titanic me.
1262 00:59:21 No, that is so lame.
1263 00:59:23 Exactly.
1264 00:59:24 The only people who would do something this lame
1265 00:59:26 are the ones who know how lame it is,
1266 00:59:28 but are in the first stages of liking each other,
1267 00:59:31 so they're totally comfortable in their mutual lameness.
1268 00:59:35 Toast me.
1269 00:59:36 Oh my God.
1270 00:59:37 Come on.
1271 00:59:38 This is so cringe.
1272 00:59:39 So is saying cringe, old man.
1273 00:59:50 Lift my arms.
1274 00:59:52 I've seen the movie.
1275 00:59:53 Have you?
1276 00:59:58 Okay.
1277 01:00:00 This is never gonna work.
1278 01:00:03 Aww! That is the cutest thing I've ever seen!
1279 01:00:07 Are they doing Titanic?
1280 01:00:09 Aww!
1281 01:00:14 Are they watching?
1282 01:00:18 Yep.
1283 01:00:19 Are they buying it?
1284 01:00:20 Can't imagine they would.
1285 01:00:22 It's real. We did it.
1286 01:00:25 We're good. We're really bloody good.
1287 01:00:29 Jonathan, have you seen Tasmania?
1288 01:00:32 Inya, I'm fine. It's fine.
1289 01:00:44 Can I do the line?
1290 01:00:47 That's king of the world. You're king of the world.
1291 01:00:52 Jack, I'm flying!
1292 01:00:54 Okay, we can stop there.
1293 01:00:55 We can stop there.
1294 01:01:07 They're gone. Show's over.
1295 01:01:11 Oh my god!
1296 01:01:18 No! Wait for me! Help! Wait!
1297 01:01:21 Wait!
1298 01:01:22 Bae!
1299 01:01:27 Bea!
1300 01:01:37 Are you okay?
1301 01:01:40 Yeah.
1302 01:01:42 Why'd you jump in?
1303 01:01:43 To save you!
1304 01:01:44 But you're a terrible swimmer!
1305 01:01:45 I'm a great swimmer! Just short distances.
1306 01:01:53 We're gonna die.
1307 01:01:54 We're not gonna die.
1308 01:01:55 We're gonna get hypothermia.
1309 01:01:57 The water's 90 degrees.
1310 01:01:58 We're gonna get eaten by sharks.
1311 01:02:02 Fuck! We're gonna get eaten by sharks!
1312 01:02:05 We are gonna be fine.
1313 01:02:07 And we spent ten hours shredding water off the coast of the Cayman Islands.
1314 01:02:10 Goldman?
1315 01:02:11 Yeah, it was a partner's kids bar mitzvah.
1316 01:02:13 A little bit of crack.
1317 01:02:18 Oh my god!
1318 01:02:19 Roger!
1319 01:02:20 Oh my god!
1320 01:02:21 It looks like they're going full Titanic.
1321 01:02:22 I love the commitment!
1322 01:02:24 Stop the boat!
1323 01:02:25 No, no, no.
1324 01:02:26 Help!
1325 01:02:27 They're coming!
1326 01:02:28 Stay calm!
1327 01:02:29 This is not a very good swim.
1328 01:02:30 Bei!
1329 01:02:38 There.
1330 01:02:41 Are you sure?
1331 01:02:41 Yeah.
1332 01:02:43 Come on.
1333 01:02:49 Why aren't we turning the boat around?
1334 01:02:51 We are in too shallow of water.
1335 01:02:52 We'll run aground.
1336 01:02:53 But harbour rescue has been notified.
1337 01:02:55 Come on.
1338 01:03:16 Are you good?
1339 01:03:17 Mm-hmm.
1340 01:03:19 Okay.
1341 01:03:25 All right.
1342 01:03:26 Okay.
1343 01:03:28 Let's go.
1344 01:03:29 All right, get in the row.
1345 01:03:30 Okay.
1346 01:03:34 That was, um, probably the most--
1347 01:03:37 I mean, if you didn't close it with Margaret, I don't--
1348 01:03:40 There's nothing more romantic than jumping in to save me.
1349 01:03:44 Yeah, well, Jonathan didn't do it, that's for sure.
1350 01:03:47 Your parents half the clock, that's shit.
1351 01:03:49 You didn't even give him a chance.
1352 01:03:51 Why do you keep defending this guy?
1353 01:03:54 Why do you break up with him in the first place?
1354 01:03:56 It's complicated.
1355 01:03:57 It's never complicated.
1356 01:03:58 What, he cheated on you?
1357 01:04:00 Drug problem?
1358 01:04:01 Did you catch him measuring his dick with a ruler app?
1359 01:04:06 We never fought.
1360 01:04:09 Isn't that a good thing?
1361 01:04:10 It was just comfortable.
1362 01:04:12 And he's a great guy, which means there's no one out there for me
1363 01:04:14 because I had the best one.
1364 01:04:17 I couldn't even tell him I quit law school.
1365 01:04:19 And I have no idea what I'm gonna do with my life.
1366 01:04:23 We're gonna get eaten by sharks, I had to tell somebody.
1367 01:04:27 No one else knows?
1368 01:04:29 I don't think this is the weekend to drop that bomb.
1369 01:04:32 You finally did it.
1370 01:04:34 What?
1371 01:04:35 You know, one night you said you didn't want to be a lawyer anyways.
1372 01:04:40 You remember that?
1373 01:04:42 It was a memorable night, until you snuck out, of course.
1374 01:04:49 Why did you?
1375 01:04:53 Because you scared the shit out of me.
1376 01:04:58 It was the first time in my life that I felt fire and I had to blow it out.
1377 01:05:04 I know a little bit about that.
1378 01:05:09 I was really hurt when you left.
1379 01:05:12 So I said all that terrible stuff about you to Pete.
1380 01:05:15 That's not how I felt.
1381 01:05:23 Look at us.
1382 01:05:25 Just a couple of fucked up people floating in the middle of the harbor.
1383 01:05:31 Promise me if we make it out alive we'll go see that from dry land.
1384 01:05:35 It's a pretty killer view from here.
1385 01:05:39 It's dumb but I want to see the people.
1386 01:05:41 Landmarks like those are full of people in love.
1387 01:05:44 Marriage proposals, honeymooners, romantics jumping off of moving trains
1388 01:05:47 just to see the building with the person they love.
1389 01:05:50 Like your dad in the Eiffel Tower?
1390 01:05:54 He told you that?
1391 01:05:56 Nothing else matters when it comes to love.
1392 01:06:01 You could use a bit of that right now.
1393 01:06:05 It's not dumb.
1394 01:06:07 You, me and the opera house.
1395 01:06:09 It's a date.
1396 01:06:11 I promise.
1397 01:07:09 What's wrong?
1398 01:07:12 I'm a little afraid of flying.
1399 01:07:14 Don't you fly all the time for your job?
1400 01:07:17 I have a very specific routine.
1401 01:07:19 I mask, headphones, build my bubble.
1402 01:07:35 That's my Serenity song.
1403 01:07:38 How do you know my Serenity song?
1404 01:07:39 Don't worry about it.
1405 01:08:20 You all good?
1406 01:08:22 Shut the fuck up now!
1407 01:09:06 Thanks again.
1408 01:09:08 Stay out of the water, yeah?
1409 01:09:11 Want some coffee?
1410 01:09:13 Not the stuff from here. I'll be up all night.
1411 01:09:16 Yeah.
1412 01:09:17 Thanks for kind of saving me though.
1413 01:09:20 It was fun.
1414 01:09:21 Stupid, but fun.
1415 01:09:23 Well, that's the best kind.
1416 01:09:35 No, no, no, it's hot!
1417 01:09:38 I'm warm.
1418 01:09:40 When are you ever gonna learn?
1419 01:09:43 Like, you want me to blow on it?
1420 01:09:53 Is it still hot?
1421 01:11:42 We're getting pretty good at faking it.
1422 01:11:44 I don't even know what's real anymore.
1423 01:11:48 Everything I do just feels like a mistake.
1424 01:12:01 Ben, Steve, are you guys all right?
1425 01:12:06 Ben, wait, you hear?
1426 01:12:09 I can't hear you.
1427 01:12:21 Steve!
1428 01:12:22 Beatrice!
1429 01:12:24 Beatrice!
1430 01:12:42 Honey, what are these? Is that a handprint?
1431 01:12:47 No.
1432 01:13:43 Come on, baby gorgeous.
1433 01:13:46 We got chores. Come on, let's go.
1434 01:13:49 Ben, are you ready? We got groom stuff to do.
1435 01:13:51 Dude, I'm coming, I'm coming.
1436 01:13:52 Man, I hope you scrub from top to bottom,
1437 01:13:54 'cause who knows what was in that heart rate.
1438 01:13:55 I also showered last night.
1439 01:13:57 Two showers in eight hours?
1440 01:13:59 Go off, King, get clean!
1441 01:14:12 Happy Wedding Day! Are you excited?
1442 01:14:16 Yes, I'm so excited to marry Claudia.
1443 01:14:18 But, you know, I'm also hosting a party
1444 01:14:20 where it feels like we're all playing parts in a play,
1445 01:14:22 and I'm not really into the pageantry,
1446 01:14:23 and I kinda just wanna do a little--
1447 01:14:26 All that matters is that you and Claudia
1448 01:14:28 run for the rest of your lives together.
1449 01:14:30 I love you.
1450 01:14:32 I love you too.
1451 01:14:33 Bae?
1452 01:14:35 Hey, you're still good to get the cake, right?
1453 01:14:38 Yes, ma'am.
1454 01:14:39 Awesome. I put Margaret on it with you,
1455 01:14:41 just to be safe.
1456 01:14:42 Margaret.
1457 01:14:52 All right, talk to me, baby.
1458 01:14:54 Who's it gonna be, Margaret or Bae?
1459 01:14:56 Come on, man, don't give me that.
1460 01:14:57 We're just two girls talking.
1461 01:14:59 I get it, though. It's tough.
1462 01:15:01 Magpie's your dream girl.
1463 01:15:03 She's confident, beautiful,
1464 01:15:05 and she knows how to put out a fire with her attire.
1465 01:15:07 Now Bae's waxing her other hand.
1466 01:15:09 Whoo!
1467 01:15:10 She's smart, funny, quick,
1468 01:15:12 and she got an ass you could bounce a quarter off of.
1469 01:15:14 - Peter. - What?
1470 01:15:16 I'm not objectifying Margaret, man.
1471 01:15:17 That'd be inappropriate. That's my cousin.
1472 01:15:19 It's inappropriate with Bae too.
1473 01:15:20 This is deeper than I thought.
1474 01:15:22 Hey, Sydney!
1475 01:15:23 My boy is in love!
1476 01:15:26 - Stop, dude, just stop. - What?
1477 01:15:27 I know what you're doing.
1478 01:15:28 I know what you've all been doing.
1479 01:15:30 You set us up, and we went along with it.
1480 01:15:32 But it's fake.
1481 01:15:33 It was my stepdad, right?
1482 01:15:34 He can't act for shit.
1483 01:15:35 You suck too, bro.
1484 01:15:36 That's foul, dog.
1485 01:15:37 It's definitely gotta be Bae, man.
1486 01:15:39 I don't know, man.
1487 01:15:40 I don't fucking know.
1488 01:15:41 She doesn't know what she wants.
1489 01:15:43 She's single for basically the first time in her life.
1490 01:15:46 She just quit law school.
1491 01:15:47 Her fucking fiancé's here.
1492 01:15:49 Man, stop with all the white boy--
1493 01:15:51 - What the-- - Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1494 01:15:53 Seriously.
1495 01:15:54 Anytime something gets real, you run away,
1496 01:15:56 call yourself a fuckboy, make an excuse,
1497 01:15:58 and you just move on to the next.
1498 01:16:00 It's Bae.
1499 01:16:01 We jumped off a boat for her.
1500 01:16:07 Oh, that's perfect.
1501 01:16:08 They're gonna love it.
1502 01:16:09 Thank you so much.
1503 01:16:10 Let me get this boxed up for you.
1504 01:16:11 - Thank you. - Thank you.
1505 01:16:14 I don't get all the pageantry of weddings.
1506 01:16:16 If you like someone, give 'em a snog.
1507 01:16:18 Keep it to yourselves.
1508 01:16:19 I wore a wedding dress for Halloween
1509 01:16:21 for five years in a row.
1510 01:16:22 Stop it.
1511 01:16:23 No, I know.
1512 01:16:24 It's so pathetic.
1513 01:16:25 But I am with you now.
1514 01:16:27 This is not for me.
1515 01:16:29 So you and Ben aren't serious?
1516 01:16:31 What?
1517 01:16:32 No, no, it's just...
1518 01:16:35 we're just situationally together.
1519 01:16:38 'Cause when I saw you last night in the harbor,
1520 01:16:39 I thought it might be more with you two.
1521 01:16:41 Just...situationally.
1522 01:16:44 - Is that an American thing? - I don't even know.
1523 01:16:47 So you're right if I have a go at him, then?
1524 01:16:51 I feel like I might have made a mistake letting him loose.
1525 01:16:55 If that's not okay, just tell me.
1526 01:16:57 For real.
1527 01:17:01 I know he really likes you.
1528 01:17:07 How do you think I should play this with Ben?
1529 01:17:09 Should I wait until after the wedding?
1530 01:17:12 Um...I don't know.
1531 01:17:14 Have you guys hooked up?
1532 01:17:15 - Hey. - We're Beatrice.
1533 01:17:16 You quit school?
1534 01:17:17 You're just gonna pour gasoline on everything you've worked for?
1535 01:17:19 Is there still time to re-enroll?
1536 01:17:21 Soon as you broke up with Jonathan, everything turned to pot.
1537 01:17:23 Are you on drugs? Because at least then I'd understand.
1538 01:17:25 Who told you I quit law school? Was it Ben?
1539 01:17:28 - You quit school? - What?
1540 01:17:29 When were you gonna tell us?
1541 01:17:31 Is this to get back at us?
1542 01:17:32 I'm sorry if we pushed you to succeed your whole life.
1543 01:17:34 We're such awful parents.
1544 01:17:36 Mom, this isn't about you.
1545 01:17:37 Yes it is. It is about us.
1546 01:17:39 And no, we're not gonna let you throw away your life
1547 01:17:41 because you're going through something.
1548 01:17:42 Everyone is always going through something.
1549 01:17:44 It's called life.
1550 01:17:46 Hey.
1551 01:17:49 I can't believe you.
1552 01:17:51 You told him I quit school?
1553 01:17:52 No, I didn't.
1554 01:17:53 You told Pete. Pete told us.
1555 01:17:55 I told you what?
1556 01:17:56 Yeah, no, I told Pete, but I didn't mean it like that.
1557 01:17:58 Told me what?
1558 01:17:59 That we're gonna find out at some point.
1559 01:18:01 That's not for you to decide.
1560 01:18:02 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
1561 01:18:03 It doesn't matter how we found out.
1562 01:18:05 Found out what?
1563 01:18:06 She quit law school.
1564 01:18:08 Oh, yeah, I knew that.
1565 01:18:09 You're real shit.
1566 01:18:10 I made a mistake. I'm sorry.
1567 01:18:12 There's a reason why you're alone. No one can trust you.
1568 01:18:14 Yeah, what's your reason?
1569 01:18:16 Guys like you.
1570 01:18:18 Keep telling yourself that.
1571 01:18:20 Fuck off.
1572 01:18:21 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't do this right here, right now.
1573 01:18:23 I messed this all up. It's all on me.
1574 01:18:25 Why don't we all go for a swim, eh?
1575 01:18:27 Cool off before the wedding?
1576 01:18:28 That's a great idea. Maybe early drinks?
1577 01:18:30 Guys, I am so sorry, but your plan is all ruined.
1578 01:18:34 We are not together. We were faking it the whole time.
1579 01:18:37 You knew?
1580 01:18:38 What are they even talking about?
1581 01:18:39 Well, we may have orchestrated a union between the pair of them
1582 01:18:43 in order for peace to prevail across the land.
1583 01:18:45 You lied to us?
1584 01:18:46 What have you been honest about lately?
1585 01:18:49 So you lied to me too?
1586 01:18:50 You're not together?
1587 01:18:52 I could never be with someone like him.
1588 01:18:54 Yeah, 'cause I'm the one who fucked it up.
1589 01:18:56 You did fuck it up.
1590 01:18:57 I fucked it up?
1591 01:18:58 Yeah, you fucked it up.
1592 01:18:59 I fucked it up?
1593 01:19:00 You fucked it up.
1594 01:19:01 Oh, no.
1595 01:19:02 Bad dog, Kalonofin.
1596 01:19:04 I mean, good dog, you killed that shit,
1597 01:19:06 but next time read the room, Kaymoney.
1598 01:19:09 I am so sorry.
1599 01:19:26 Hey, uh...
1600 01:19:29 Bae.
1601 01:19:33 I think he's gonna be fine.
1602 01:19:34 He's gonna be fine.
1603 01:19:35 He's gonna be fine.
1604 01:20:11 Good, you're perfect.
1605 01:20:39 Relax, you're working yourself up.
1606 01:20:41 It is not fine. It is not everything.
1607 01:20:43 It is fine.
1608 01:20:44 Okay, all we asked of them was to come out here,
1609 01:20:47 celebrate us, and they are ruining it.
1610 01:20:49 And all week and I have been so stressed,
1611 01:20:52 and you've been more worried about what's going on with bae
1612 01:20:54 than with me.
1613 01:20:55 Well, you've been more concerned about your planning.
1614 01:20:57 Are you marrying me or your itinerary?
1615 01:21:01 Well, if that's how you feel,
1616 01:21:03 then why are we even doing this?
1617 01:21:07 I don't know.
1618 01:21:08 You tell me.
1619 01:21:17 There's one last thing we need to fake.
1620 01:21:49 Claudia, Allie, we're assholes.
1621 01:21:51 We're really sorry.
1622 01:21:53 I'm a terrible sister, and he's a terrible friend.
1623 01:21:56 It's your guys' big day.
1624 01:21:58 We're not gonna mess it up, we promise.
1625 01:22:00 Uh-huh, but just so you both know,
1626 01:22:02 if you fuck up today, the something I borrowed
1627 01:22:05 is a knife, and it's shiny and new.
1628 01:22:53 Love is intoxicating.
1629 01:22:56 It envelops you, it tickles you,
1630 01:22:59 and it makes you feel like you can walk on air.
1631 01:23:02 It's like this wind.
1632 01:23:04 It's in your bones, it's in your breath,
1633 01:23:06 it's in every beat of your heart.
1634 01:23:08 You can't look for it, you can't describe it,
1635 01:23:10 and you can't escape it.
1636 01:23:13 Allie, I love you so much,
1637 01:23:16 and I don't think I say it enough.
1638 01:23:18 You are the yin to my yang,
1639 01:23:21 peanut butter to my jelly,
1640 01:23:23 and I will love you forever and always.
1641 01:23:25 Claudia, I love you with so much of my heart
1642 01:23:30 that none is left to protest.
1643 01:23:32 That's very good.
1644 01:23:33 Just made it up.
1645 01:23:36 A lot of it.
1646 01:23:46 I now pronounce you married!
1647 01:23:56 Yeah!
1648 01:24:25 Oh, look, there she is.
1649 01:24:28 Oh, hey, parents.
1650 01:24:30 Is that Tasmania?
1651 01:24:32 Yeah.
1652 01:24:34 How are you doing, honey?
1653 01:24:36 I am so sorry I lied to you guys about school.
1654 01:24:39 I didn't want to disappoint you guys again.
1655 01:24:41 Well, if you'd just told us, maybe we could have--
1656 01:24:43 Trying to talk me out of it?
1657 01:24:44 No, maybe we could have supported you.
1658 01:24:47 I know this is scary for you guys.
1659 01:24:50 Yeah, it's scary for me too,
1660 01:24:52 and I gotta figure it out on my own.
1661 01:24:54 I know that every now and then
1662 01:24:57 we might come off as a little...
1663 01:24:58 Controlling?
1664 01:24:59 No.
1665 01:25:00 Overbearing?
1666 01:25:01 No.
1667 01:25:01 Actually crazy?
1668 01:25:02 Yes.
1669 01:25:03 That's it, but only because we love you so much.
1670 01:25:09 Love you.
1671 01:25:15 Good luck.
1672 01:25:16 Good luck.
1673 01:25:48 Hi, Aunt.
1674 01:25:48 Yes?
1675 01:25:49 Do you mind if I steal a hand?
1676 01:25:50 Uh, not at all.
1677 01:25:51 Go ahead.
1678 01:25:53 High five.
1679 01:25:56 Hey.
1680 01:25:58 Hi.
1681 01:26:01 Where's Bo?
1682 01:26:03 He buggered off.
1683 01:26:04 He said he saw a wave he couldn't morally not surf.
1684 01:26:08 I'm sorry.
1685 01:26:09 It was never really anything.
1686 01:26:13 And you and Bea.
1687 01:26:14 She said you were just situational.
1688 01:26:18 She said that?
1689 01:26:32 Are you good?
1690 01:26:34 Yeah, we know it's been a tough weekend for you.
1691 01:26:38 I don't know.
1692 01:26:39 These last few days really made me realize
1693 01:26:42 how much I miss you.
1694 01:26:47 Why don't you just go for a walk?
1695 01:26:48 Figure your head.
1696 01:26:49 Yeah, we'll go with you.
1697 01:26:50 No, we won't.
1698 01:26:51 No.
1699 01:26:52 I love you, but this is our wedding.
1700 01:26:54 So...
1701 01:26:55 Are you sure?
1702 01:26:56 Yeah.
1703 01:26:57 I might go and do some people watching.
1704 01:27:00 Just not...
1705 01:27:02 these people.
1706 01:27:07 Thank you.
1707 01:27:18 Wow.
1708 01:27:20 Ben.
1709 01:27:27 I wanted this for so long.
1710 01:27:32 But I think I'm just holding on to a memory.
1711 01:27:35 And also, I...
1712 01:27:40 I'm sorry.
1713 01:27:42 I'm so sorry.
1714 01:28:26 I've never seen Bea like this before.
1715 01:28:28 Really?
1716 01:28:30 You were the one who said there's a thin line
1717 01:28:31 between love and hate.
1718 01:28:33 You're always the first person to say that bit, you know?
1719 01:28:36 I know it sounds crazy,
1720 01:28:37 but even when they were yapping at each other,
1721 01:28:39 I've never seen Bea happier.
1722 01:28:41 Same with Ben.
1723 01:28:43 Hey, stepfather, may I have a word?
1724 01:28:46 Yes, but make it quick, son.
1725 01:28:47 I promised my lady a dance, but don't tell your mother.
1726 01:28:52 You're so clever.
1727 01:28:53 You know who's also clever?
1728 01:28:55 Ben.
1729 01:28:56 You know who else would be perfect for Ben?
1730 01:28:58 That mumbly girl who always looks like she's got a secret.
1731 01:29:01 You know her name is Bea.
1732 01:29:02 That was a callback.
1733 01:29:04 Will you stop?
1734 01:29:06 Stop.
1735 01:29:08 How you going, mate? How you going, Ben?
1736 01:29:09 What, you two?
1737 01:29:11 What?
1738 01:29:12 Just enough with the loud talking and the overhearing.
1739 01:29:15 Just stop.
1740 01:29:16 Bro, we literally didn't know you were standing there.
1741 01:29:18 Yeah, it's true. We didn't know you were listening.
1742 01:29:19 We did.
1743 01:29:20 It was greatly a performance for one.
1744 01:29:21 And we nailed it, too.
1745 01:29:22 What is with you people?
1746 01:29:24 This entire weekend, I have been lied to
1747 01:29:26 and manipulated and puppeteered.
1748 01:29:29 I don't know what is real and what is not.
1749 01:29:31 Mate, I know you're a little blurry,
1750 01:29:33 but I meant what I said up there about love.
1751 01:29:35 It's too precious a resource to be wasted.
1752 01:29:40 I haven't seen her. Is she, uh--
1753 01:29:41 She went on a walk a while ago.
1754 01:29:43 After she saw you kissing Margaret.
1755 01:29:46 What?
1756 01:29:48 No, I didn't kiss Margaret.
1757 01:29:49 Margaret kissed me. I backed up.
1758 01:29:51 I don't want to be with Margaret.
1759 01:29:52 I want to--
1760 01:29:53 Stop it.
1761 01:29:54 You gorgeous idiot.
1762 01:29:55 Run. Don't wait on love.
1763 01:29:57 Fight for it.
1764 01:29:58 And don't worry about the age difference.
1765 01:30:01 I'm 29.
1766 01:30:02 Honey, no one's 29.
1767 01:30:05 Do you know where she went?
1768 01:30:06 She said she wanted to walk around, do some people watching.
1769 01:30:09 That's what she said?
1770 01:30:10 People watching?
1771 01:30:11 I think it was more of a euphemism for crying alone.
1772 01:30:15 No, it's not.
1773 01:30:18 I think I know where she might be.
1774 01:30:19 Good God, man, go get her.
1775 01:30:21 Scour the city block by block.
1776 01:30:23 Scan the grid.
1777 01:30:24 First north, south, then east, west.
1778 01:30:25 Leo, I know exactly where she is.
1779 01:30:27 It makes it a lot easier.
1780 01:30:35 I just need to find my moving train.
1781 01:30:40 What's going on here?
1782 01:30:42 Is that coffee?
1783 01:30:44 Yeah.
1784 01:30:46 Oh, wait.
1785 01:30:48 Call harbor rescue!
1786 01:30:52 Oh, my God!
1787 01:30:56 Oh, my God!
1788 01:31:04 What the hell? Are you crazy?
1789 01:31:36 Please ask a favor!
1790 01:32:22 Why don't you just treat people like my folks?
1791 01:32:25 Just go get the girl.
1792 01:32:27 Thank you!
1793 01:32:39 Excuse me!
1794 01:32:40 Excuse me!
1795 01:32:55 I didn't kiss Margaret. She kissed me.
1796 01:32:57 I know that's a bullshit excuse, but it's true.
1797 01:33:00 I couldn't find a moving train.
1798 01:33:02 Sorry, it's the best I could do.
1799 01:33:05 Are you out of your mind?
1800 01:33:07 Yeah.
1801 01:33:08 Because it's been two years since we met
1802 01:33:10 and I haven't spent every single day with you.
1803 01:33:12 That's the sign of a crazy person.
1804 01:33:14 I hated you.
1805 01:33:16 I didn't really give you a choice.
1806 01:33:17 I definitely didn't hate you.
1807 01:33:19 You called me a bitch.
1808 01:33:21 I said you were acting like a bitch.
1809 01:33:22 No, I was a bitch.
1810 01:33:25 The way I handled everything.
1811 01:33:26 The way I handled the first night.
1812 01:33:27 The way I handled last night.
1813 01:33:30 Yeah, it wasn't really awesome.
1814 01:33:32 Why did you leave?
1815 01:33:35 I thought you were going to regret it.
1816 01:33:37 And I couldn't face the idea of losing someone else
1817 01:33:40 that I...
1818 01:33:42 I really loved.
1819 01:33:45 Last night was the first thing I haven't regretted
1820 01:33:48 in a long time.
1821 01:33:52 I love the way we fight.
1822 01:33:54 I love how smart you are.
1823 01:33:56 I love the weird way you
1824 01:33:58 stick your hands down my pants.
1825 01:34:00 And I love how you know what you don't want.
1826 01:34:03 And if it's not me,
1827 01:34:05 if I don't
1828 01:34:06 check all your boxes,
1829 01:34:08 if I'm not the one,
1830 01:34:09 I get it.
1831 01:34:12 That would really,
1832 01:34:14 really fucking suck.
1833 01:34:21 So, you gonna kiss me now?
1834 01:34:25 Yeah, I am.
1835 01:34:41 That's a lot of running for Mr. No Cardio.
1836 01:34:44 Yeah, I'm dying. I need some air.
1837 01:35:47 How do they know my Serenity song?
1838 01:37:17 I'm sorry you almost called off your wedding
1839 01:37:19 because of all of our bullshit.
1840 01:37:20 - What? - What?
1841 01:37:22 I saw you arguing on the porch.
1842 01:37:23 Oh, no, no, no, we staged a fake fight
1843 01:37:25 so you guys would feel bad and make up.
1844 01:37:27 Are you marrying your precious itinerary or me?
1845 01:37:29 Well, if that's how you feel,
1846 01:37:30 I don't know why we're doing this anymore.
1847 01:37:34 Thank you very much.
1848 01:37:35 Puppets.
1849 01:37:37 We're just puppets.
1850 01:37:39 Yep.
