贱女孩 Mean Girls(2024)(EN)Subtitles

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1 00:00:23 Make sure I'm in the frame.
2 00:00:25 Make sure you get my head.I want to see my hair.
3 00:00:26 All right, all right.Janis, hurry up!
4 00:00:28 It's not easy making a movie.
5 00:00:30 You better not drop my phone.
6 00:00:32 You got it?
7 00:00:33 Yep. Yep. Yep. Okay, here we go.
8 00:00:35 Hey... Oh, Lord. Shit.
9 00:00:37 We're Cloverfielding.Pick it up.
10 00:00:39 Give me a minute. Makesure I'm in the frame, girl.
11 00:00:41 Give me a minute!Am I in the frame?
12 00:00:44 I'm in there? Yes.
13 00:00:46 Get me in the frame? Yeah.
14 00:00:47 You got my head in there? Yeah.
15 00:00:48 Boom, let's go.
16 00:00:50 ♪ It's a cautionary tale ♪
17 00:00:53 ♪ Of fear and lust and pride ♪
18 00:00:55 ♪ Based on actual eventsWhere people died ♪
19 00:00:59 No one died.
20 00:01:00 ♪ But how far Would you go ♪
21 00:01:02 ♪ To be popular and hot? ♪
22 00:01:04 ♪ Would you resist temptation? ♪
23 00:01:07 ♪ No, you would not! ♪
24 00:01:08 ♪ Just admit it sometimes ♪
25 00:01:10 ♪ Mean is what you areMean is easier than nice ♪
26 00:01:15 ♪ And though meanCan take you far ♪
27 00:01:18 ♪ Maybe this willMake you think twice ♪
28 00:01:22 Spin. Clicker. Fosse!
29 00:01:24 ♪ This is a cautionary tale ♪
30 00:01:28 ♪ About corruptionAnd betrayal ♪
31 00:01:31 ♪ And getting hit by a bus! ♪
32 00:01:33 ♪ You can't buy integrity ♪
33 00:01:36 ♪ At the mallIt's not for sale ♪
34 00:01:41 Truth.
35 00:01:42 ♪ This is a cautionary ♪
36 00:01:46 ♪ Tale! ♪
37 00:02:10 ♪ I usedTo think I would spend ♪
38 00:02:11 ♪ Every second I have ♪
39 00:02:15 ♪ Right where my story began ♪
40 00:02:20 ♪ I'd be happy here ♪
41 00:02:21 ♪ Every day, monthYear of my life ♪
42 00:02:24 ♪ But now I'm wishing Forwhatever comes After goodbye ♪
43 00:02:29 ♪ On every star in the sky ♪
44 00:02:34 ♪ And I'm dreaming ofWhat I could become ♪
45 00:02:39 ♪ This is where home will be ♪
46 00:02:42 ♪ As long as my lungsCan breathe ♪
47 00:02:45 ♪ But my heart is dyin'To leave ♪
48 00:02:49 ♪ 'Cause I know there's moreTo me ♪
49 00:02:52 ♪ I don't want to live withWhat ifs... ♪
50 00:02:54 Cady?
51 00:02:56 I've been thinkingabout what you said.
52 00:02:58 About being frustratedby my decision
53 00:03:00 and feeling a little stuck here,
54 00:03:02 just me and you.
55 00:03:03 I'm sorry I yelled.
56 00:03:05 But you have a point.
57 00:03:07 Maybe I've beena little selfish,
58 00:03:08 putting my research ahead
59 00:03:10 of your socialand emotional development.
60 00:03:12 I called the peoplefrom Northwestern back.
61 00:03:14 I took the job.
62 00:03:16 What?
63 00:03:17 But they need meto start on September 9th.
64 00:03:19 ♪ I don't want to liveWith what ifs, might haves ♪
65 00:03:23 ♪ Could have been if I had ♪Cady?
66 00:03:27 ♪ Only tried, not held backOh, no ♪
67 00:03:31 ♪ That's not a part of my plan ♪
68 00:03:33 ♪ That's not the me that IThat's not the me that I am ♪
69 00:03:37 ♪ This timeThere's no lookin' back ♪
70 00:03:40 ♪ I'm crossing thingsOff my list ♪
71 00:03:44 ♪ Don't want to run out of timeBefore I wake up and find ♪
72 00:03:48 ♪ There was a lifeThat I missed ♪
73 00:03:51 ♪ My limit doesn't exist ♪
74 00:04:04 I'll pick you up at 3:00.
75 00:04:12 ♪ I don't want to liveWith what ifs, might haves ♪
76 00:04:16 ♪ Could have been if I had ♪
77 00:04:19 ♪ Only tried, not held backOh, no ♪
78 00:04:24 ♪ That's not a part of my planThat's not the me that I am ♪
79 00:04:27 ♪ No what ifs, regrets ♪
80 00:04:30 ♪ Wear my strengthsAnd weakness ♪
81 00:04:34 ♪ I won't hide my feelingsOh, no ♪
82 00:04:38 ♪ That's not a part of my planThat's not the... ♪
83 00:04:41 Bitch, move.
84 00:04:53 Hope you all had a good summer.
85 00:04:54 Mine was pretty good.
86 00:04:56 I worked in my brother-in-law's
87 00:04:58 golf pro shop.
88 00:05:00 Did not make a lot of money,so of course I am back
89 00:05:03 to help shepherd you allinto the future.
90 00:05:11 May I have everyone'sattention, please?
91 00:05:13 Eyes to the front of the room.
92 00:05:16 You may notice we have anew student joining us today.
93 00:05:19 She just moved herefrom Kentucky.
94 00:05:20 Kenya.
95 00:05:22 Kenya. Her name is Caddy.
96 00:05:24 It's Cady. Cady Heron.
97 00:05:26 My apologies.I will commit that to memory.
98 00:05:28 Cady, like the Canadiansongstress k.d. lang,
99 00:05:32 and Heron,like the illegal street drug.
100 00:05:37 Thank you, Caddy. It's Cady.
101 00:05:39 Cady, hi. I'm Ms. Norbury.I'll be your homeroom teacher.
102 00:05:41 This is your roster.
103 00:05:43 I see I also have youfor A.P. Calculus.
104 00:05:45 You must have had excellentteachers at your old school.
105 00:05:47 Oh, I was homeschooled.Homeschooled?
106 00:05:49 Oh, that's a fun wayto take jobs from my union.
107 00:05:51 No, I'm joking. It's fine. Ah.
108 00:05:53 Um, do you think you canfollow this schedule?
109 00:05:55 Yeah, I think so.Okay, you're gonna be moving
110 00:05:57 from class to class with each...
111 00:06:00 That's it.
112 00:06:02 Everybody find a seat.
113 00:06:04 Please.
114 00:06:09 This is first period:
115 00:06:11 American Literature.
116 00:06:12 ♪ My name is Mister Rapp ♪
117 00:06:14 ♪ And I take no...? ♪
118 00:06:18 ♪ My name is Mister RappAnd I take no...? ♪
119 00:06:21 "...care of myself"?
120 00:06:23 "Crap."Correct answer was "crap."
121 00:06:29 Find a seat.
122 00:06:30 I don't want you to think of me
123 00:06:32 as just any other teacher.
124 00:06:34 I prefer to think of myself
125 00:06:35 as a time traveler.
126 00:06:37 Maintenant nous choisissonsnos noms français.
127 00:06:41 Cady. Comment tu t'appelles?
128 00:06:43 Je m'appelle Cady. Incorrecte!
129 00:06:45 You have to pick a French name.
130 00:06:48 All the French people I know
131 00:06:49 just call me Cady.
132 00:06:52 Just say Marie.
133 00:06:54 Um... Marie?
134 00:06:56 Marie.
135 00:06:58 J'anice. J'anice.
136 00:07:00 Chanel. Non.
137 00:07:03 Fantine. Non.
138 00:07:04 Celine Dion?
139 00:07:06 Non.
140 00:07:07 Beyoncé.
141 00:07:09 Quais. Mais non.
142 00:07:13 Welcome to "Healthand Human Sexuality."
143 00:07:15 Now, this fall we'll be getting
144 00:07:18 into the state-mandated uniton Abstinence.
145 00:07:21 Of course then followed by,in the spring,
146 00:07:23 Condoms and Choking.
147 00:07:25 Where do you thinkyou're going there, hotshot?
148 00:07:27 I need to urinate.
149 00:07:29 No way, José.
150 00:07:30 Uh, it's Cady.
151 00:07:32 Well, Cady,
152 00:07:33 first thing you need to dois ask permission.
153 00:07:35 But the second thing you'll need
154 00:07:37 is this lavatory pass
155 00:07:39 that is shapedlike a sperm whale.
156 00:07:41 Get it?
157 00:07:43 Um...
158 00:07:44 May I please havethe lavatory pass?
159 00:07:46 No, you may not.You may go sit back down.
160 00:07:49 You can go at lunch.Nice try, kiddo.
161 00:07:51 All right, let's jump into this!
162 00:07:53 This won't be awkward at all,I swear to God.
163 00:08:41 This one.
164 00:08:45 Are you okay in there?
165 00:08:48 Uh, yes.
166 00:08:49 'Cause you've been in therea very long time.
167 00:08:51 We're concernedyou're either doing drugs
168 00:08:53 or having a toilet baby.
169 00:08:57 Hi. I'm Janis.
170 00:08:58 And je m'appelle Sasha Fierce.
171 00:09:00 This is Damian.
172 00:09:01 He is almost too gayto function.
173 00:09:03 But I push through. I manage.
174 00:09:05 Hi.
175 00:09:06 We've been watching you all day.
176 00:09:07 You're a mess.
177 00:09:09 So we volunteer to amplifyyour lunch experience.
178 00:09:13 Yeah, what Damian is saying iswe will help you, Caddy.
179 00:09:16 Thanks so much. Um... it's Cady.
180 00:09:20 Yeah. I'm gonna call you Caddy.
181 00:09:23 Get out of the toilet!
182 00:09:24 Mkay.
183 00:09:26 You just need to findyour clique and commit to it.
184 00:09:29 You have your Jocks.
185 00:09:32 Your Corny Horny Band Freaks.
186 00:09:38 Your Classic Burnouts.
187 00:09:42 Do any of these feellike your people?
188 00:09:43 I don't think so. Hmm...
189 00:09:45 You know what mightbe cute for her?
190 00:09:47 What, Grade Grubbers?
191 00:09:48 No, I was gonna sayTheater Mess.
192 00:09:56 And who's at that table?
193 00:09:58 Oh, no, no, no.
194 00:10:00 We call them the Plastics
195 00:10:02 'cause they're shiny,fake and hard.
196 00:10:04 Yeah, that's Gretchen Wieners.
197 00:10:05 She knows everythingabout everybody.
198 00:10:08 That's why her hair's so big.
199 00:10:09 It's full of secrets.
200 00:10:11 And that's Karen Shetty.
201 00:10:13 She's the dumbest personyou'll ever meet.
202 00:10:14 I once saw her put a Din the word "orange."
203 00:10:20 Could I just sit with you guys?
204 00:10:23 I actually don't know.
205 00:10:25 We've never been askedthat question before.
206 00:10:26 Could she?
207 00:10:28 We are very exclusive,
208 00:10:30 but I think we can makean exception.
209 00:10:35 What was that? Oh, Lord, it's theQueen Bee. Don't look her in the eye!
210 00:10:51 ♪ My name is Regina George ♪
211 00:10:57 ♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
212 00:11:02 ♪ Fear me, love me ♪
213 00:11:05 ♪ Stand and stare at me ♪
214 00:11:09 ♪ And these? ♪
215 00:11:11 ♪ These are real ♪
216 00:11:13 ♪ I've got money and looks ♪
217 00:11:18 ♪ I am, like, drunk with power ♪
218 00:11:23 ♪ This whole schoolHumps my leg ♪
219 00:11:28 ♪ Like a Chihuahua ♪
220 00:11:32 ♪ I'm the prettiest poisonYou've ever seen ♪
221 00:11:37 ♪ That filter you useLooks just like me ♪
222 00:11:43 ♪ My name is Regina George ♪
223 00:11:47 ♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
224 00:11:52 ♪ I don't care who you are ♪
225 00:11:57 ♪ I don't care ♪
226 00:12:00 ♪ How you feel ♪
227 00:12:07 You.
228 00:12:08 Yeah, you. Come here.
229 00:12:19 Why don't I know you?
230 00:12:20 I'm new. I just moved herefrom Kenya.
231 00:12:23 Shut up.
232 00:12:25 Shut up!
233 00:12:26 I didn't say anything.
234 00:12:28 You're, like, really pretty.
235 00:12:31 Thanks. So you agree?
236 00:12:33 You think you're really pretty?
237 00:12:36 Oh, I don't know.
238 00:12:37 You're an internationalstudent. That is so fetch.
239 00:12:40 What is "fetch"?
240 00:12:42 It's like slangfrom an old movie.
241 00:12:44 Juno, I think.
242 00:12:48 Have you ever touched a tiger?
243 00:12:49 Uh, no, those aren'tindigenous to Kenya.
244 00:12:52 'Cause that's oneof my life goals.
245 00:12:54 To not touch a tiger.
246 00:12:57 Hey, new girl!You want to see a trick?
247 00:12:59 I can guess any girl's bra size.
248 00:13:00 All you got to dois jump one time.
249 00:13:02 Ew, Jason! Do me.
250 00:13:05 Oh, my God, Jason.
251 00:13:06 You do not come to a partyat my house with Gretchen
252 00:13:09 and then skeeze on the new girlright in front of me.
253 00:13:11 Do you want to have sexwith him?
254 00:13:13 Oh, uh... no, thank you.
255 00:13:15 Okay, then it's settled.
256 00:13:17 Jason, no one thinksyou're funny.
257 00:13:18 Okay? And this thingyou're doing
258 00:13:19 where you lower your voicewhen you talk
259 00:13:21 is making people really sad.
260 00:13:22 Excuse me, anyonewho would like Jason Weems
261 00:13:24 to go backto his normal speaking voice,
262 00:13:26 please raise your hand.
263 00:13:31 Yeah.
264 00:13:33 Bitch.
265 00:13:35 Wow.
266 00:13:36 You're really gonnaget noticed around here.
267 00:13:39 We should help you.
268 00:13:42 Can you give us some privacyfor a sec?
269 00:13:44 Oh. Yeah, sure.
270 00:13:50 I have your lunch!
271 00:13:53 All right.
272 00:13:55 So, we never reallydo this, but...
273 00:13:57 ...you're invitedto eat lunch with us
274 00:13:59 for the rest of the week.Oh. Um...
275 00:14:01 That's okay. OnWednesdays, we wear pink.
276 00:14:06 They want me to have lunchwith them all week.
277 00:14:08 That is tits!
278 00:14:10 She means "that's great."
279 00:14:12 I don't really get whyyou guys hate them so much.
280 00:14:14 Regina seems kind of cool.No, no...
281 00:14:16 Regina George is not cool.
282 00:14:17 She's a scum-suckinglife ruiner.
283 00:14:19 Janis hates Regina becausewhen we were in sixth grade,
284 00:14:22 she told everybody thatshe was... Hey, Damian!
285 00:14:24 What?
286 00:14:25 Shall we not?
287 00:14:26 I am providing context.
288 00:14:28 Caddy?
289 00:14:29 You should have lunch with them
290 00:14:31 and then report back and tell us
291 00:14:33 every stupid, moronic thingthey said.
292 00:14:35 Spy on them? That's bad.
293 00:14:37 No! Look at us.
294 00:14:40 Would we ever ask youto do something bad?
295 00:14:43 Uh...
296 00:14:47 Okay. Yes!
297 00:14:49 Do you have a pink shirtI can borrow?
298 00:14:51 No! Yes! What shade?
299 00:14:53 Welcome to A.P. Calculus.
300 00:14:55 Congratulations. You knowmore math than 85% of Americans.
301 00:15:00 But you will not reston your laurels this year.
302 00:15:03 I plan to push you.
303 00:15:06 So let's get started.
304 00:15:07 Chapter One, "Limitsand Their Properties."
305 00:15:10 What the heck are limits,you say?
306 00:15:12 If I write out the equation,
307 00:15:13 "The limit as x approaches twoof [x + 1],"
308 00:15:16 the function is whatwe're taking the limit of.
309 00:15:18 I don't expect you to knowhow to do this yet.
310 00:15:20 The limit equals three.
311 00:15:22 That's right.
312 00:15:24 Let's try another one.
313 00:15:25 Find the value of k
314 00:15:27 for which the followinglimit exists.
315 00:15:29 K equals negative three.Damn, girl!
316 00:15:33 Wow.
317 00:15:36 Are you trying to makethe rest of us feel dumb?
318 00:15:38 No, I... I'm not trying to.It's just, uh, happening.
319 00:15:41 Oh, okay, it's like that.All right, um, well...
320 00:15:46 challenge accepted.
321 00:15:55 ♪ When I was nine ♪
322 00:15:58 ♪ I fell in love ♪
323 00:15:59 ♪ This Peace Corps guy ♪
324 00:16:02 ♪ I waited hoursInside his tent with flowers ♪
325 00:16:05 ♪ Which made him laughWhich made me cry ♪
326 00:16:08 ♪ By 13 I gave up trying ♪
327 00:16:10 ♪ I decided I would beA mathematician ♪
328 00:16:13 ♪ 'Cause math is real ♪
329 00:16:14 ♪ I memorized a lot of pi ♪
330 00:16:16 ♪ Because additionAnd subtraction and division ♪
331 00:16:19 ♪ Would never make me feelSo stupid with love ♪
332 00:16:22 ♪ I didn't get it ♪
333 00:16:24 ♪ I didn't get it, somehow ♪
334 00:16:27 ♪ Smart with mathBut stupid with love ♪
335 00:16:30 ♪ I didn't get itI didn't get it till now ♪
336 00:16:35 ♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪
337 00:16:40 ♪ So thank you, mathFor being there ♪
338 00:16:42 ♪ To bring me joy ♪
339 00:16:46 ♪ And thank you, math ♪
340 00:16:48 ♪ 'Cause now you've brought meThis cute boy ♪
341 00:16:51 ♪ He's like someone from TV ♪
342 00:16:53 ♪ He's like that guy Who givesout roses To those women ♪
343 00:16:56 ♪ His clothes, his grooming ♪
344 00:16:58 ♪ And he's a foot away from me ♪
345 00:17:00 ♪ With swoopy hair And shinyeyes That I could swim in ♪
346 00:17:02 ♪ He's live and in the room! ♪
347 00:17:10 ♪ And I'm stupid with loveI want to get it ♪
348 00:17:14 ♪ I want to get it, but how? ♪
349 00:17:17 ♪ Smart with mathBut stupid with love ♪
350 00:17:21 ♪ I want to get itI didn't get it till now ♪
351 00:17:33 ♪ I'm astounded and nonplussed ♪
352 00:17:37 ♪ I am filled with calcu-lust ♪
353 00:17:40 ♪ Does this guy work out?He must ♪
354 00:17:43 ♪ All sweaty at the gym ♪
355 00:17:46 ♪ Could that imageBe more hot? ♪
356 00:17:49 ♪ Let me just enjoyThat thought ♪
357 00:17:52 ♪ School was roughBut now it's not ♪
358 00:17:55 ♪ 'Cause now there's him ♪
359 00:17:57 ♪ Stupid with loveI didn't get it ♪
360 00:18:01 ♪ I didn't get it, somehow ♪
361 00:18:04 ♪ Smart with mathBut stupid with love ♪
362 00:18:07 ♪ I didn't get itI didn't get it till now ♪
363 00:18:17 I'm okay.
364 00:18:24 Mom, you can'tpick me up like this.
365 00:18:27 It's embarrassing.
366 00:18:31 You can't wear a tank toptwo days in a row
367 00:18:33 and you can only wear yourhair in a ponytail once a week.
368 00:18:36 So I guess you've chosen today.
369 00:18:38 Oh! And we only wear sweatsor track pants on Fridays.
370 00:18:42 If you break any of these rules,
371 00:18:43 you can't sit with us.
372 00:18:45 I mean, not just you,like, any of us.
373 00:18:47 Like if I wore sweatpants today,
374 00:18:48 I'd have to go sit over there...
375 00:18:50 ...with the Art Freaks.
376 00:18:54 That seems fair.
377 00:18:56 120 caloriesand 48 calories from fat.
378 00:18:58 What percent is that?
379 00:18:59 Um, 48 into 120?
380 00:19:02 There's no way of knowing.
381 00:19:04 It's 40%.
382 00:19:06 42 over 120
383 00:19:08 equals x over 100,and then you cross-multiply
384 00:19:10 to get the value of x.
385 00:19:12 Hmm.
386 00:19:14 Whatever.Um, I'm getting cheese fries.
387 00:19:22 So, have you seen any guysyou think are cute yet?
388 00:19:26 Oh, um, well, actually, there'sthis one guy in my Calculus class.
389 00:19:30 Ooh, a senior! Who is it?Uh, Aaron Samuels.
390 00:19:34 You can't like Aaron Samuels! That is Regina'sex-boyfriend! No. No. Bad. Bad. Danger.
391 00:19:39 Wait. I thought shedumped him for Shane Oman.
392 00:19:42 Irregardless!
393 00:19:43 Ex-boyfriends areoff-limits for friends.
394 00:19:45 That's just, like,the rules of feminism!
395 00:19:50 Don't worry.
396 00:19:52 I will never tell Reginawhat you said.
397 00:19:54 I am very trustworthy.
398 00:19:56 Karen's had sex with 11 peopleand I've never told anyone.
399 00:20:00 Yo, Golf Bird.
400 00:20:01 Those fractions were tight.What?
401 00:20:04 "Caddy Heron." "Golf Bird."
402 00:20:07 I don't like it. I don't get it.
403 00:20:09 I'm Kevin Ganatra.I'm from your Calc class.
404 00:20:13 I sit diagonally from you.
405 00:20:15 I'm also captainof the North Shore Mathletes.
406 00:20:17 We're a very chill, dope,extracurricular option.
407 00:20:21 You know,serve your college rezzy
408 00:20:22 and your thirst for knolly.Don't say "knolly."
409 00:20:24 Also Ms. Norbury sayswe get twice as much funding
410 00:20:27 if we had a girl on the team,so think about joining,
411 00:20:29 because we'd loveto get jackets.
412 00:20:31 Okay, yeah, sure. Where do I...
413 00:20:32 No, no,you cannot join Mathletes.
414 00:20:34 That is, like, socially ruinous!
415 00:20:35 Ew, no. Why is he by our table?
416 00:20:38 I can hear you, by the way.
417 00:20:39 Can you hear me now?
418 00:20:41 Bye.
419 00:20:43 Uh, anyways, uh, just take mycard in case you change your mind?
420 00:20:53 God, you are so luckyyou have us to guide you.
421 00:20:56 What are you doingafter school today?
422 00:20:58 I want to give you some shoes.
423 00:21:03 What kind of shoes?
424 00:21:04 I have no idea. I guess, um,something fancier than these?
425 00:21:07 She's so rude!
426 00:21:10 I mean, maybeshe's just being generous.
427 00:21:12 Maybe we can havea commensal relationship.
428 00:21:14 What is that? I want one.
429 00:21:17 So, in nature, okay, so lions,
430 00:21:20 they're the apex predators, right?
431 00:21:22 They're the topof the food chain.
432 00:21:23 They can kill anythingthey want.
433 00:21:26 But if you're a hyena, well,
434 00:21:28 then you follow them around and youeat the carcasses that they leave behind.
435 00:21:31 Whoa.Gretchen Wieners is a hyena.
436 00:21:33 Got it.
437 00:21:34 No, I did not say that.
438 00:21:36 I'm just saying, if you'reon Regina's good side...
439 00:21:38 Whoa, Caddy! No, no, no.
440 00:21:40 Regina George does not havea good side, okay?
441 00:21:42 If you go overto her house today...
442 00:21:43 I am not joking,
443 00:21:46 be careful.
444 00:21:58 ♪ Don't be fooled by the pink ♪
445 00:22:00 ♪ She is not playing dolls ♪
446 00:22:02 ♪ She is stalking the hallsFor the thrill of the kill ♪
447 00:22:06 ♪ Every person in schoolIs aware of her stare ♪
448 00:22:10 ♪ When she tosses her hairThey go perfectly still ♪
449 00:22:14 ♪ All their eyes say"Don't attack me" ♪
450 00:22:18 ♪ Watch them sweatAnd pant and shake ♪
451 00:22:22 ♪ Every food chainHas its acme ♪
452 00:22:26 ♪ Regina George eats steak ♪
453 00:22:29 ♪ She's the queen of beastsShe can smell your fear ♪
454 00:22:34 ♪ In this biosphereShe's the apex predator ♪
455 00:22:38 ♪ Like a lioness ♪
456 00:22:40 ♪ Only with less furDo not mess with her ♪
457 00:22:44 ♪ She's the apex predator ♪
458 00:22:48 Jason is crotch-sittingTaylor Wedell.
459 00:22:52 Absolutely not.
460 00:22:54 ♪ At the watering hole ♪
461 00:22:56 ♪ See the girlsWho weren't nice ♪
462 00:22:58 ♪ Have to scatter like mice ♪
463 00:23:00 ♪ From a jungle cat ♪
464 00:23:02 ♪ And though Janis is greatShe does not have this power ♪
465 00:23:06 ♪ People literally cower ♪
466 00:23:08 ♪ Janis can't do that ♪
467 00:23:10 ♪ See her mark her territory ♪
468 00:23:14 ♪ As they follow in her train ♪
469 00:23:18 ♪ They were victimsIn their stories ♪
470 00:23:22 ♪ Now they shake their mane ♪
471 00:23:26 ♪ She's the queen of beastsAnd you're in her pride ♪
472 00:23:30 ♪ You have hitched a ride ♪
473 00:23:32 ♪ With the apex predator ♪
474 00:23:34 ♪ And it's kind of funWhen she bares her claws ♪
475 00:23:38 ♪ You thinkYou're safe because ♪
476 00:23:40 ♪ You're withThe apex predator ♪
477 00:23:42 Do you think she'll be madif I like Aaron?
478 00:23:44 Samuels? Are you unwell?You can't like Aaron Samuels!
479 00:23:46 Okay, okay!
480 00:23:47 I'll be careful. I promise.
481 00:23:52 ♪ Do not thinkYou'll be protected ♪
482 00:23:56 ♪ By your new exotic pet ♪
483 00:24:00 ♪ Not a chanceIf she suspected ♪
484 00:24:04 ♪ You were any kindOf reproductive threat ♪
485 00:24:07 ♪ But she doesn't know yet ♪
486 00:24:10 ♪ She doesn't know yet! ♪
487 00:24:12 ♪ She's the queen of beastsAt this beastly school ♪
488 00:24:16 ♪ Got to keep things coolWith the apex predator! ♪
489 00:24:30 Get in, loser.
490 00:24:34 ♪ With the apex predator! ♪
491 00:24:36 ♪ Will she braid your hair?Will she eat your heart? ♪
492 00:24:40 ♪ How can you outsmart ♪
493 00:24:44 ♪ The apex predator? ♪
494 00:24:49 ♪ The apex predator? ♪
495 00:24:50 ♪ The apex predator! ♪
496 00:24:53 You guys! Hey...
497 00:24:57 Happy hump day, besties!
498 00:25:00 Hi, Mrs. George.
499 00:25:03 This is Cady.
500 00:25:04 I just moved here. From Kenya.
501 00:25:06 Welcome, Cady from Kenya.
502 00:25:11 We haven't had any new meatin our little lady taco in so long.
503 00:25:15 Mom, go make snacks.
504 00:25:16 For sure.For sure, Regina, yeah.
505 00:25:18 Thank you so much, Mrs. George.
506 00:25:19 You have a beautiful mansion.
507 00:25:21 Just slay, queens.Slay like no one's watching.
508 00:25:25 But everybody's watching.Because you're gorgeous!
509 00:25:33 Wow, your room is really nice.
510 00:25:35 Thanks. It used to be myparents', but I made them trade me.
511 00:25:47 Cady! I made youa Spotify playlist
512 00:25:50 to help you catch up on culture.
513 00:25:52 Karen, come here.I want to fix your eyebrows.
514 00:25:56 Can I still have two?
515 00:25:57 Gretchen, move. Sorry.
516 00:25:59 God, my hips are so wide.
517 00:26:02 God, my pores are huge!
518 00:26:04 I want skin like Cady's.
519 00:26:07 My B.O. smells like crayons.
520 00:26:12 Um, me, too! I'm ugly, too.
521 00:26:15 Oh, my God, I love her.She's like a Martian.
522 00:26:17 Who's hungry?
523 00:26:19 Now, Cady,
524 00:26:21 this is a very American snackcalled guac.
525 00:26:24 Is it okay or are you vegan?
526 00:26:26 Oh, no, I'm an omnivore.
527 00:26:29 Yum-yum-yum. Okay, come here!
528 00:26:31 I need youto tell me everything.
529 00:26:33 Have you seen any boysthat you think are cute yet?
530 00:26:37 Oh. Uh, well, I...
531 00:26:40 No.
532 00:26:41 Well, don't worry.It's just a matter of time.
533 00:26:44 You know, I always say that thisschool district has the highest taxes,
534 00:26:48 but the hottest boys.That's disgusting.
535 00:26:50 Oh, Regina! You're nevergonna believe what I found
536 00:26:53 in your closet this morning.
537 00:26:54 Why were you in my closet?
538 00:26:56 Because I'm doingthat Japanese organizing thing
539 00:26:58 where you take a little napin the closet.
540 00:27:02 I found your Burn Book!
541 00:27:05 Cady, this is just, like,the funniest thing
542 00:27:08 that the girls used to do.
543 00:27:09 Please leave. You got it, baby.
544 00:27:11 But, girls, I'm gonna beright downstairs
545 00:27:13 if you need to talk to meabout anything.
546 00:27:15 I mean it. Deep stuffor boy troubles or blackheads
547 00:27:19 or alcohol poisoning.
548 00:27:21 You know, I havebeen through it all.
549 00:27:23 Honey, I am not a regular mom.
550 00:27:26 I'm @coolmom with six O's.
551 00:27:29 Hashtag AgingHotly. Hashtag...
552 00:27:31 Get out. Okay.
553 00:27:33 Girls, just have so much fun.
554 00:27:35 Remember, these arethe best days of your life.
555 00:27:41 It does not get better.
556 00:27:46 I remember this. It was the weekthey took all of our phones away.
557 00:27:52 "Trang Pham isa grotsky little byotch."
558 00:27:55 Still true.
559 00:27:56 "Dawn Schweitzeris a horny shrimp."
560 00:27:59 Well, she's taller now.
561 00:28:01 Oh, my God."Janis 'Imi'ike, Pyro-Lez."
562 00:28:05 I forgot about that.
563 00:28:06 Oh, my God, she is so weird.
564 00:28:08 She is? She's in my homeroom.
565 00:28:10 Oh, well, watch out,'cause she's violent.
566 00:28:13 Yeah, people thinkshe's really good at art,
567 00:28:15 but it's just 'causeshe had to do art therapy.
568 00:28:18 Yeah, Regina tried to befriends with her in middle school.
569 00:28:20 Oh, my God,she was obsessed with me.
570 00:28:22 And then when I gotmy first boyfriend, Kyle,
571 00:28:24 she lit my backpack on fire.
572 00:28:28 Who's that?
573 00:28:29 Mmm... That's that kid Damian.
574 00:28:32 Oh, yeah, he's almost too gayto function.
575 00:28:36 No, I didn't... I didn'tmean that in a bad way.
576 00:28:38 No, that's funny.Put that in there.
577 00:28:40 Um...
578 00:28:42 No, I don't... Oh! No, no.
579 00:28:44 Don't worry, Cady, we onlywrite stuff about randos in here.
580 00:28:46 Friends are, like,very deserving of respect.
581 00:28:49 Gretchen... she gets it.
582 00:28:53 Go find the shoes.
583 00:28:56 The shoes we're giving to Cady.
584 00:28:58 Oh, my God, you are literallybeing so annoying.
585 00:29:03 Sorry.
586 00:29:14 Are you okay?
587 00:29:15 No... uh, totally.
588 00:29:17 Regina's just joking.
589 00:29:19 These are cute. Try 'em.
590 00:29:23 Once I processed that Regina'slove language is anger,
591 00:29:26 it's been much...
592 00:29:28 Aw.
593 00:29:31 It's the music box I gaveRegina that my abuelito gave me.
594 00:29:43 ♪ Tell me What's wrong with me ♪
595 00:29:46 ♪ My body, face, my hair ♪
596 00:29:50 ♪ Tell me all my many faults ♪
597 00:29:53 ♪ Tell me like you care ♪
598 00:29:55 ♪ When we bothKnow you're cruel ♪
599 00:29:59 ♪ And we both knowYou're right ♪
600 00:30:02 ♪ I could listen to you ♪
601 00:30:05 ♪ Like a fool all night ♪
602 00:30:08 ♪ What's wrong with me? ♪
603 00:30:11 ♪ How I speak? How I dress? ♪
604 00:30:14 ♪ What's wrong with me? ♪
605 00:30:18 ♪ You keep me guessing ♪
606 00:30:21 ♪ Mama called me "beautiful"Don't believe her anymore ♪
607 00:30:27 ♪ Now I'm listening to you ♪
608 00:30:30 ♪ What do I do that for? ♪
609 00:30:34 ♪ Please don't ignore me ♪
610 00:30:45 Gretchen!
611 00:30:46 What are you doing in there?
612 00:30:47 I'm... I'm gonna go.
613 00:30:49 Yep. Be right there!
614 00:30:56 ♪ What's wrong with me?What can I do? ♪
615 00:30:59 ♪ What's wrong with me?Could it be you? ♪
616 00:31:01 ♪ It's probably me ♪
617 00:31:03 ♪ See that? You see? ♪
618 00:31:06 ♪ What's wrong with me? ♪
619 00:31:22 They have this book,this "Burn Book,"
620 00:31:25 where they write mean thingsabout girls in our grade.
621 00:31:27 Ooh, ooh! What doesit say about me?
622 00:31:30 Um... you're not in it.
623 00:31:32 Those bitches!
624 00:31:34 What is this, by the way?It's terrible.
625 00:31:35 Oh, it's a Kälteen bar.
626 00:31:37 Here, my mom used to give themto elderly people in Kapedo
627 00:31:39 to help them gain weight. Mmm.
628 00:31:42 I can feel it working.
629 00:31:44 We should, like, crush this upand put it in Regina's food!
630 00:31:46 What? Oh.
631 00:31:47 No. No, no.
632 00:31:49 I will keep havinglunch with them, that's it.
633 00:31:51 Also, we feel badwe yelled at you
634 00:31:54 about liking Aaron.
635 00:31:56 You should go for what you want.
636 00:31:58 Hetero allyship. Oh, okay.
637 00:32:00 It's so dumb. I onlyever see him in Calc anyway.
638 00:32:03 Oh. You're definitelysafe in Calc.
639 00:32:07 Regina will never set footin there.
640 00:32:22 New shoes? Uh, yeah.
641 00:32:24 Regina gave them to me.
642 00:32:26 Huh. I didn't knowyou guys were friends.
643 00:32:29 Okay, let's get back into it.
644 00:32:31 Continuity. Removable discont...
645 00:32:32 Cady? Eyes up front, please.
646 00:32:35 Let's get backinto where we were Thursday.
647 00:32:37 Who was awake Thursday?Who was still awake?
648 00:32:41 I like your jacket.
649 00:32:43 Thanks, I made it.
650 00:32:44 But why do you sewon top of your drawings?
651 00:32:46 It's... like the drawingsare facts
652 00:32:49 and the threads are feelings.
653 00:32:50 It's so cool.
654 00:32:55 So, you talk to your man yet?
655 00:33:00 I mean, I don't evenknow what to say to him.
656 00:33:02 I always come off soundinglike a lunatic.
657 00:33:05 Do you like gum? Sure.
658 00:33:08 Oh, I don't have any.I was just...
659 00:33:10 Oh.
660 00:33:15 What? Why did you say that?
661 00:33:19 Maybe just try to have onesuccessful interaction per day?
662 00:33:26 I like your shirt. Thanks.
663 00:33:28 It smells like sausagefrom the last time I wore it.
664 00:33:34 Dear God, woman.
665 00:33:36 Have you successfully been afunctioning human being even once?
666 00:33:41 On October 3rd,he asked me what day it was.
667 00:33:44 What day is it?It's October 3rd.
668 00:33:47 ♪ October 3rd ♪
669 00:33:51 That was two weeks ago.
670 00:33:54 But today I kind of...
671 00:33:56 I don't know, I tried something
672 00:33:57 and it just came to meinstinctively.
673 00:34:02 I said I was lost.
674 00:34:03 I'm totally lost.Can you help me?
675 00:34:07 But I wasn't lost.
676 00:34:08 I knew exactly whatMs. Norbury was talking about.
677 00:34:10 It's the derivativeof the natural log function.
678 00:34:14 You just take the reciprocalof the ln.
679 00:34:18 Thanks.
680 00:34:20 You're so smart.
681 00:34:24 He was wrong.
682 00:34:25 Wait, wait. Hold up.
683 00:34:27 Guys, pause! Oh.
684 00:34:32 You pretended to be dumb
685 00:34:34 so you could keep talkingto a guy?
686 00:34:36 Uh... Yeah. It worked.
687 00:34:39 'Cause that shitalways works, Caddy.
688 00:34:41 It doesn't meanthat it's not evil.
689 00:34:43 Fracking "works."Red-lining "works."
690 00:34:46 Gasoline and rags...
691 00:34:48 Aren't you worried Regina willeat your face if she finds out?
692 00:34:50 No, she won't find out.
693 00:34:52 It's just my littleCalculus class secret.
694 00:34:55 Oh, um...
695 00:34:58 So its h prime of x equals five.
696 00:35:01 You just forgotthe Product Rule.
697 00:35:03 I don't get any of this.
698 00:35:06 Nice job, Cady.
699 00:35:07 It sure seems like you get it.
700 00:35:15 Hey, my friend Chris is, uh,having a Halloween party.
701 00:35:19 Would you want to come to that?
702 00:35:21 It's like a costume party.People get pretty into it.
703 00:35:24 Grool.
704 00:35:25 I meant to say "great," andthen I started to say "cool."
705 00:35:28 Okay.
706 00:35:30 Grool.
707 00:35:37 Hi.
708 00:35:38 ♪ If I could change the world ♪
709 00:35:40 ♪ I'd make it Halloween ♪
710 00:35:45 ♪ Every single day ♪
711 00:35:48 ♪ And also have world peace ♪
712 00:35:52 ♪ Maybe world peaceShould be first ♪
713 00:35:55 ♪ World peaceAnd then Halloween ♪
714 00:35:57 Wait, let me start over.
715 00:36:02 Hi.
716 00:36:03 ♪ If I could change the world ♪
717 00:36:05 ♪ I'd make us have world peace ♪
718 00:36:09 ♪ And also Halloween ♪
719 00:36:13 ♪ Every single day ♪
720 00:36:16 ♪ On Halloween ♪
721 00:36:17 ♪ You can pretendTo be someone else ♪
722 00:36:21 ♪ It's like the Internet ♪
723 00:36:24 ♪ Only in personAnd with candy ♪
724 00:36:30 Wait. Mama, use the back camera.
725 00:36:33 It's prettier 'cause science.
726 00:36:37 ♪ When you are The hot one ♪
727 00:36:38 ♪ It's a full-time gig ♪
728 00:36:40 ♪ Lookin' like what peopleWant to see ♪
729 00:36:43 ♪ Once a year I'm notI dress up and dream big ♪
730 00:36:47 ♪ Disguised as someone elseWho is not me ♪
731 00:36:49 ♪ But is still hot! ♪
732 00:36:51 ♪ I can be ♪
733 00:36:52 ♪ Who I want to be and sexy! ♪
734 00:36:55 ♪ I can beWho I want to be and hot! ♪
735 00:36:58 ♪ Don't like who you areThen hit that costume shop ♪
736 00:37:02 ♪ Rock a newAnd different sexy look ♪
737 00:37:06 ♪ Why be so downhearted?Blast some trashy pop ♪
738 00:37:09 ♪ And drop it to this hotAnd sexy hook ♪
739 00:37:12 ♪ I can beWho I want to be and sexy! ♪
740 00:37:17 ♪ I can beWho I want to be and hot! ♪
741 00:37:20 ♪ Be somebody new ♪
742 00:37:23 ♪ Do a total transformation ♪
743 00:37:27 ♪ Animal or mineral, too ♪
744 00:37:31 ♪ Or even vegetation! ♪
745 00:37:35 I give you sexy corn.
746 00:37:37 ♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
747 00:37:40 ♪ And sexy! ♪
748 00:37:54 Why are you dressed so scary?
749 00:37:55 It's Halloween.
750 00:37:57 Cady, if you don't dress slutty,
751 00:37:58 that is slut-shaming us.
752 00:38:05 Um, it's just,like, traditionally,
753 00:38:09 girls had to be witchesor clowns
754 00:38:11 and we've worked really hardto progress past that.
755 00:38:14 That makes sense.
756 00:38:18 I'm gonna go find Aaron.
757 00:38:20 Okay.
758 00:38:24 ♪ A sexy Quint From sexy Jaws ♪
759 00:38:26 ♪ Catching sexy sharks ♪
760 00:38:28 ♪ Sexy Eleanor RooseveltOr sexy Joan of Arc ♪
761 00:38:32 ♪ I can be a sexy pirateOr a sexy ballet dancer ♪
762 00:38:35 ♪ I can be a sexy doctorAnd cure some sexy cancer! ♪
763 00:38:40 That's not right, is it? No.
764 00:38:43 I can sexy cure some cancer?
765 00:38:45 No.
766 00:38:47 I can cure sex cancer!
767 00:38:49 Sex cancer doesn't exist.
768 00:38:51 I did it.
769 00:38:53 Dance break.
770 00:39:06 ♪ Happy Halloween! ♪
771 00:39:12 ♪ This isModern feminism talkin' ♪
772 00:39:16 ♪ Watch me as I run the worldIn shoes I cannot walk in ♪
773 00:39:19 ♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
774 00:39:23 ♪ And sex... sex ♪
775 00:39:26 ♪ Sexy! ♪
776 00:39:32 I'm a sexy mouse. Duh!
777 00:39:38 Hey. Hi.
778 00:39:40 Cady!
779 00:39:41 Hi!
780 00:39:43 Ow. Hey.
781 00:39:45 I like your costume.
782 00:39:47 Different from everyone else's.
783 00:39:49 I didn't knowI was supposed to...
784 00:39:53 I'm such a weird foreign loser.
785 00:39:54 No. It's great.
786 00:39:57 You want a drink?
787 00:39:58 Thanks. Uh, do they have juice?
788 00:40:02 I can check. Wait here.
789 00:40:06 I think you and Aaronwould be a really cute couple.
790 00:40:09 Really? Yeah.
791 00:40:11 I just said so.Don't be thirsty.
792 00:40:12 You know, I could talkto him for you. If you want.
793 00:40:16 See if he likes you back.
794 00:40:18 You would do that for me?Mm-hmm.
795 00:40:20 Trust me. I know exactlyhow to play it.
796 00:40:26 I need to talk to you. Me?
797 00:40:29 I thought you were donetalking to me
798 00:40:31 when you started talkingto Shane last summer.
799 00:40:32 Shut up. 'Cause you knowthat homeschooled girl, Cady?
800 00:40:37 Yeah, I invited her tonight.
801 00:40:40 Yeah, well, be careful.
802 00:40:41 'Cause she hasa huge crush on you.
803 00:40:43 Really?
804 00:40:46 Don't be gross.
805 00:40:48 She's my friend and...
806 00:40:50 ...she's, like, reallyinexperienced and, um...
807 00:41:00 Wow, sorry.
808 00:41:02 I didn't think thiswould be so hard for me.
809 00:41:04 What?
810 00:41:05 I don't know, I guess I just...
811 00:41:07 just have, like, a lotof, like, unresolved trauma
812 00:41:10 from how things ended with us.
813 00:41:12 Give me a break.
814 00:41:17 Regina.
815 00:41:20 Regina. Leave me alone.
816 00:41:22 G, why are you upset?
817 00:41:24 Please.
818 00:41:25 What do you mean, please? G!
819 00:41:41 ♪ Yes, I look perfect ♪
820 00:41:44 ♪ Ice QueenThat's what you see ♪
821 00:41:47 ♪ It's what they all expectFrom me ♪
822 00:41:50 ♪ But it's all show ♪
823 00:41:53 ♪ Face it, you used me ♪
824 00:41:56 ♪ You saw the sexy clothes ♪
825 00:41:59 ♪ My supermodel pose ♪
826 00:42:02 ♪ What did you know? ♪
827 00:42:05 ♪ Was I a game to you? ♪
828 00:42:08 ♪ Was I a way to be cool? ♪
829 00:42:11 ♪ I truly cared ♪
830 00:42:14 ♪ Was I the fool? ♪
831 00:42:17 ♪ It's fine for you ♪
832 00:42:19 ♪ It's fine to flirt ♪
833 00:42:23 ♪ It's fine ♪
834 00:42:28 ♪ Till someone gets hurt ♪
835 00:42:35 ♪ Feel my heart beating? ♪
836 00:42:38 ♪ I'm just like her or you ♪
837 00:42:41 ♪ People forget I'm human, too ♪
838 00:42:44 ♪ Yes, they do that ♪
839 00:42:47 ♪ This is performance ♪
840 00:42:50 ♪ This is all self-defense ♪
841 00:42:53 ♪ I thought you had the sense ♪
842 00:42:56 ♪ To see through that ♪
843 00:42:59 ♪ Was I too proud with you? ♪
844 00:43:02 ♪ Was I too coldAnd forbidding? ♪
845 00:43:05 ♪ You chose her over me Well ♪
846 00:43:08 ♪ Are you kidding? ♪
847 00:43:11 ♪ It's fine for you ♪
848 00:43:13 ♪ It's fine to flirt ♪
849 00:43:17 ♪ It's fine ♪
850 00:43:22 ♪ Till someone gets hurt ♪
851 00:43:28 ♪ Till someone gets hurt! ♪
852 00:43:35 ♪ Poor little me ♪
853 00:43:37 ♪ I'm trappedIn this fabulous show ♪
854 00:43:41 ♪ You could set me free ♪
855 00:43:44 ♪ But if you're going, go ♪
856 00:43:51 ♪ It's fine for you ♪
857 00:43:54 ♪ It's fine to flirt ♪
858 00:43:57 ♪ And, God, you're hot! ♪
859 00:44:00 ♪ Why do you evenWear a shirt? ♪
860 00:44:03 ♪ No, it's fine ♪
861 00:44:07 ♪ Damn, you're fine! ♪
862 00:44:09 ♪ And it's fine ♪
863 00:44:14 ♪ Till someone gets... ♪
864 00:44:44 She took him back.She took Aaron back.
865 00:44:48 Of course she did.
866 00:44:49 It's because Regina'sa life ruiner!
867 00:44:52 When we were in sixth grade,she told everybody
868 00:44:54 that Janis was... Damian!
869 00:44:55 Okay. She does not needto hear that right now.
870 00:44:58 No, I know the story.
871 00:45:00 You lit a fire 'cause Reginagot a boyfriend.
872 00:45:02 She said what?
873 00:45:04 Oh, hell no.
874 00:45:05 Damian... No! Thetruth will be told.
875 00:45:09 Stay with me, Cady.
876 00:45:15 Like all history, this is emotionallylayered and culturally dense.
877 00:45:22 Janis and Regina werebest friends in middle school.
878 00:45:24 And at that time, females expressed theiridentities through collectible plushies.
879 00:45:29 I don't know what those...
880 00:45:30 It's these bastards.And they were everywhere.
881 00:45:35 Regina gave Janis a BFF setfor her birthday.
882 00:45:38 Janis put a rainbow patchon hers.
883 00:45:41 This is how she came outto her friend.
884 00:45:42 And Regina put one on hers, too,
885 00:45:44 out of allyship becauseshe used to be human.
886 00:45:47 Cut to eight months later, Reginabecomes obsessed with this gross boy. Kyle!
887 00:45:52 Your scale iscompletely off. Hush!
888 00:45:56 One night, they wereall playing spin the bottle...
889 00:45:58 And Regina was worriedthat Kyle liked Karen more.
890 00:46:01 So when she spun and got Janis,
891 00:46:05 Regina put on a little show.
892 00:46:11 And Kyle was like "boing"!
893 00:46:12 And Regina was like...
894 00:46:13 ..."I knew she would let me!
895 00:46:15 She's, like, obsessed with me!"
896 00:46:17 Not okay.
897 00:46:19 Please put this all backin its box.
898 00:46:21 They got into a huge fight.
899 00:46:23 Regina started avoiding Janisat school,
900 00:46:25 but did she give backthat plush animal?
901 00:46:26 Oh, no. She took it everywhere.
902 00:46:29 She named her "Sissy Liz"and she made everyone say
903 00:46:32 "good morning" to it every day,
904 00:46:34 and it was very weirdand boring.
905 00:46:35 Fast forward.
906 00:46:36 One day in Science,
907 00:46:38 Regina was making everyonesay hi to Sissy Liz.
908 00:46:41 And Janis finally heard it.
909 00:46:43 "Sissy Liz" was shortfor "Obsessed Lesbian."
910 00:46:45 Regina had been making funof Janis this entire time
911 00:46:49 and everyone but her knew it.
912 00:46:51 So, and this is regrettable...
913 00:46:55 Janis took her Bunsen burner...
914 00:46:59 and torched the doll.
915 00:47:01 And Regina's backpackcaught on fire a little bit
916 00:47:04 and Janis was kicked out ofschool for the remainder of the year.
917 00:47:07 And the adults didn't know why.
918 00:47:09 Janis just seemed crazy.
919 00:47:14 I'm really sorry that happened.
920 00:47:18 It's worse than my thing.
921 00:47:21 Caddy, don't be sorry.
922 00:47:23 Now you know Regina Georgeis not your friend.
923 00:47:26 We are your friends.
924 00:47:28 And we're gonna make her pay.
925 00:47:33 ♪ You know what friends do? ♪
926 00:47:35 ♪ They got your back ♪
927 00:47:37 ♪ And they are fun Tobe around ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪
928 00:47:40 ♪ When someone hurts youThen they attack ♪
929 00:47:42 ♪ And grind your foeInto the ground! ♪
930 00:47:44 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
931 00:47:46 ♪ Imagine a partyWith dresses and cake ♪
932 00:47:49 ♪ And singing and dancingAnd cake ♪
933 00:47:52 ♪ And there's a magic actThat saws Regina in half ♪
934 00:47:55 ♪ And this time It'll take ♪
935 00:47:59 Now that's a party! ♪ It's arevenge party A party that ends ♪
936 00:48:03 ♪ With somebody's headOn a spike ♪
937 00:48:05 ♪ It's a revenge partyWith your two best friends ♪
938 00:48:09 ♪ It's like a party Withrevenge Is what it's like ♪
939 00:48:13 Caddy, in orderfor this to work,
940 00:48:15 you need to actlike a huge phony.
941 00:48:16 Can you do it?
942 00:48:18 I... I think so.
943 00:48:19 Practice.
944 00:48:21 Regina wanted me to tell youthat she tried to talk to Aaron,
945 00:48:24 but he just wanted her back,and that's not Regina's fault.
946 00:48:27 Of course. Oh, my gosh.
947 00:48:30 Love ya. See you at lunch.
948 00:48:31 Perfect! On to phase two.
949 00:48:34 ♪ I'll bring The glow sticks ♪
950 00:48:37 ♪ I'll bring balloons And we'llhave Chocolate ice cream cones ♪
951 00:48:40 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
952 00:48:41 ♪ I'll be the DJSpinnin' the tunes ♪
953 00:48:44 ♪ On a turntable madeOf her bones ♪
954 00:48:47 ♪ We'll get a piñata'Cause that would be fun ♪
955 00:48:50 ♪ And play dress upAnd Barbies ♪
956 00:48:52 ♪ And tag ♪
957 00:48:53 ♪ And we'll roll on the grass ♪
958 00:48:55 ♪ And stare up at the sun ♪
959 00:48:57 ♪ Then we'll stuff her remainsIn a bag ♪
960 00:48:59 ♪ And throw 'em in the river! ♪
961 00:49:01 ♪ A revenge partyA party that ends ♪
962 00:49:05 ♪ With entrailsAll over the lawn ♪
963 00:49:07 ♪ A revenge partyWith your two best friends ♪
964 00:49:11 ♪ And I end up with AaronWhen she's gone ♪
965 00:49:13 ♪ Yes, bitch! ♪
966 00:49:17 I end up with Aaronwhen she's gone.
967 00:49:20 Yes, bitch.
968 00:49:31 I think I need a tutor.
969 00:49:32 I could tutor you, if you want.
970 00:49:36 ♪ What's Regina doin'? ♪
971 00:49:38 ♪ What's Regina wearin'? ♪
972 00:49:39 ♪ Is she back with Aaron? ♪
973 00:49:42 ♪ Regina! Regina! She haseverything She gets everything ♪
974 00:49:47 ♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
975 00:49:50 What is that?
976 00:49:51 Ugh, I'm so fat and disgusting.
977 00:49:53 I'm not having anything
978 00:49:54 but Kälteen barsuntil I lose weight.
979 00:49:56 Well, I needto lose three pounds.
980 00:49:57 How many calories from fat?
981 00:49:59 Zero.
982 00:50:00 You cross-multiply xover a thousand
983 00:50:02 and divide it by 0.5because it's in kilograms.
984 00:50:03 Whatever. Bring me a whole box.
985 00:50:06 No, um, bring me two.
986 00:50:15 ♪ A revenge partyA party that ends ♪
987 00:50:19 ♪ With somebody crushed Andalone ♪ ♪ And ugly-crying! ♪
988 00:50:21 ♪ A revenge partyWith your two best friends ♪
989 00:50:25 ♪ It's like a party Withrevenge Is what we're throwin'! ♪
990 00:50:44 ♪ What's Regina eating? ♪
991 00:50:46 ♪ God, look at her figure ♪
992 00:50:48 ♪ Did her boobs get bigger?Regina! Regina! ♪
993 00:50:50 ♪ She has everything! ♪
994 00:50:52 ♪ She gets everything! ♪
995 00:50:54 ♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
996 00:51:01 Six weeks and all we've done is makeRegina hotter and revive the wet look.
997 00:51:04 We have to pivot.
998 00:51:06 If we can make Gretchen Wienersthink that Regina is mad at her...
999 00:51:08 No, no, no. Gretchen is fragile.
1000 00:51:10 Exactly!
1001 00:51:12 If we crack her open, maybeshe'll spill something we can use.
1002 00:51:22 ♪ Party ♪
1003 00:51:24 Hey, girl, you sendingany candy canes this year?
1004 00:51:26 Oh. I don't sendthem. I just get them.
1005 00:51:31 Um, stop pulling it down.
1006 00:51:33 Your hair looks so sexypushed back.
1007 00:51:37 Cady, would you please tell him
1008 00:51:38 that his hair looks sexypushed back?
1009 00:51:42 Your hair looks sexypushed back.
1010 00:51:44 Oh...
1011 00:51:51 Thanks.
1012 00:51:56 I'll, uh, see you in Calc.
1013 00:52:00 ♪ At every partyThere might be a low ♪
1014 00:52:03 ♪ Where the energy dips ♪♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
1015 00:52:06 ♪ You might be thinking "It's late, weshould go And they ran out of chips" ♪
1016 00:52:13 ♪ No! I can't even watchWhen she touches his hair ♪
1017 00:52:17 ♪ And I've watched a snakeEat a cow ♪
1018 00:52:20 ♪ Regina needs to be toppledSorry, Gretchen, I swear ♪
1019 00:52:23 ♪ We'll get our party now! ♪
1020 00:52:26 One candy cane, please!
1021 00:52:31 ♪ A revenge partyA party that ends ♪
1022 00:52:34 ♪ With lions in a Roman arena ♪
1023 00:52:37 ♪ She has everything!She gets everything! ♪
1024 00:52:41 ♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1025 00:52:43 Ho, ho, ho!
1026 00:52:44 Candy Cane Gram for Shane Oman!
1027 00:52:47 ♪ She has everything! ♪
1028 00:52:48 And one for Cady Heron.
1029 00:52:50 ♪ She gets everything! ♪
1030 00:52:52 Four for Glenn Cocco?
1031 00:52:54 You go, Glenn Cocco!
1032 00:52:56 ♪ Glenn Cocco!Glenn Cocco! Glenn Cocco! ♪
1033 00:52:59 And... nonefor Gretchen Wieners, bye.
1034 00:53:03 Who sent that?
1035 00:53:04 Oh, it's from...
1036 00:53:06 ♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1037 00:53:08 "Thanks for beingsuch a great best friend."
1038 00:53:11 Aw.
1039 00:53:13 Oh.
1040 00:53:15 Okay.
1041 00:53:18 If you and Regina are"best friends" now,
1042 00:53:20 then you can be in charge ofkeeping all her secrets, okay?
1043 00:53:23 For example, she gave you thosehigh-heel shoes just to make fun of you
1044 00:53:26 because she knew you wouldn'tbe able to walk in them. Sorry!
1045 00:53:29 Also, she saysshe has a nose job,
1046 00:53:32 but that's just to distractfrom the fact
1047 00:53:33 that she had oneof her ears moved!
1048 00:53:36 Also, she totally cheatson Aaron.
1049 00:53:38 Yeah. Every Tuesday,she says she has College Prep,
1050 00:53:41 but really she's hooking upwith Shane Oman
1051 00:53:43 in the third-floorjanitorial closet
1052 00:53:45 on the bags of sawdustthat they use for barf!
1053 00:53:48 And I never told anyone
1054 00:53:50 because I'm such a good friend!
1055 00:53:54 And I'm only telling youbecause you're such a good friend.
1056 00:54:04 ♪ It's a revenge party ♪
1057 00:54:06 ♪ A party that ends ♪
1058 00:54:07 ♪ With somebody's headOn a spike! ♪
1059 00:54:10 ♪ A revenge partyWith your two best friends ♪
1060 00:54:13 ♪ It's like a party Withrevenge Is what it's like ♪
1061 00:54:36 ♪ A party with revengeIs what it's like ♪
1062 00:54:39 ♪ A party with revenge ♪
1063 00:54:42 ♪ With revenge ♪
1064 00:54:46 ♪ Is what it's like! ♪
1065 00:55:00 Hey, do you have time to goover derivatives for a minute?
1066 00:55:04 Oh, um... no, not today.
1067 00:55:09 Cady?
1068 00:55:12 Um...
1069 00:55:14 You've failed your last fivequizzes. Is everything okay?
1070 00:55:16 I'm... I'm sorry.I'll just try harder.
1071 00:55:19 Okay, becauseif you need extra help,
1072 00:55:21 there's a Mathletes meetingstarting in a couple minutes.
1073 00:55:23 I can't. I'm sorry. I have to goto my friend Regina's house.
1074 00:55:25 We're doing a dancein the talent show.
1075 00:55:27 "Rockin' Around the Pole"?Yeah, how did you know?
1076 00:55:30 They do it every year.It's like a...
1077 00:55:32 Tradition? Recurring nightmare.
1078 00:55:35 Okay, I could probablyget Kevin to tutor you.
1079 00:55:37 Well, Aaron's tutoring me now,so...
1080 00:55:39 Oh, he's tutoring you?Sure, okay, well,
1081 00:55:42 let Aaron know that the weirdthing with your quizzes
1082 00:55:44 is that all the work is rightand only the answers are wrong.
1083 00:55:47 Huh. Huh.
1084 00:55:50 Cady, I am not gonna stoppushing you, because I'm a pusher.
1085 00:55:53 And I know you're smarterthan this.
1086 00:55:55 Maybe I should just pushyour seat away from Aaron's.
1087 00:55:59 Ugh! And she was like, "I'ma pusher, Cady. I'm a pusher."
1088 00:56:02 Wait, what does she even mean,she's a "pusher"?
1089 00:56:05 Like a drug pusher? Idon't know. She's so weird.
1090 00:56:09 Let it all out, honey.Put it in the book.
1091 00:56:15 Look at this thing!
1092 00:56:18 I can't even see it. It'ssexy, like a face breast.
1093 00:56:21 It happens to me, too. It's just theKälteen bars flushing your toxins.
1094 00:56:25 Huh. Okay.
1095 00:56:27 Well, this skin stuffyou gave me sucks!
1096 00:56:29 Where did you get it?
1097 00:56:40 The Paris airport.
1098 00:56:41 Oh, "the Paris airport."
1099 00:56:43 Well, it's garbage.And so are you.
1100 00:56:47 She's just grouchy becauseAaron broke up with her.
1101 00:56:50 He did?
1102 00:56:51 Someone told him about Shane.
1103 00:56:54 Do you think it was Santa?
1104 00:56:57 Oh...
1105 00:56:59 Also, all that she's beeneating are those Kälteen bars,
1106 00:57:01 and I don't think she's poopedin, like, two weeks.
1107 00:57:04 Uh...
1108 00:57:05 Hey, G, we've practiceda bunch with Cady.
1109 00:57:07 You want to run it once?
1110 00:57:08 Why? I'm perfect every year.
1111 00:57:10 Mm-hmm.
1112 00:57:12 Yeah, but it's,uh, Cady's first time
1113 00:57:14 and there's a bunchof traffic patterns...
1114 00:57:16 Stop playing withthat stupid babyish book!
1115 00:58:04 Uh, that wasDamian Hubbard singing...
1116 00:58:06 ...the iCarly theme song
1117 00:58:09 in French for extra credit.
1118 00:58:10 Yeah!
1119 00:58:13 Our next act describestheir music
1120 00:58:15 as "Like a sine wave,they don't stop."
1121 00:58:19 Please welcome Kevin Gand the Power of Three.
1122 00:58:22 Uh. Yeah.
1123 00:58:24 ♪ All you ♪
1124 00:58:27 ♪ Suckah emceesAin't got nothin' on me ♪
1125 00:58:29 ♪ From my grades to my rhymesYou can't touch Kevin G ♪
1126 00:58:31 ♪ I'm a Mathlete ♪
1127 00:58:32 ♪ So good under pressure ♪
1128 00:58:34 ♪ I'ma find acute anglesTo prioritize your pleasure ♪
1129 00:58:36 ♪ I'm a Model UN repOut in these streets ♪
1130 00:58:39 ♪ But I'm a overachieverUnder the sheets ♪
1131 00:58:41 ♪ She be like"Uhhhh, Kevin G!" ♪
1132 00:58:44 Inappropriate.
1133 00:58:45 Kevin, we talked about this.
1134 00:58:47 Well, happy holidays, everybody.
1135 00:58:51 Why is this so tight?
1136 00:58:54 You've had itsince the sixth grade.
1137 00:58:56 You're probably maturing.
1138 00:58:58 Um, do you just, like, wantto run it one time real quick?
1139 00:59:00 Gretchen,literally no one cares.
1140 00:59:04 Mm-hmm. No, totally.
1141 00:59:06 Um, do you just wantto run the acro?
1142 00:59:08 Because none of us really doesgymnastics anymore
1143 00:59:10 and when we made up this dance,we all weighed, like, 70 pounds,
1144 00:59:12 so maybe we should just make sureeveryone's center of gravity is still...
1145 00:59:16 Still what?
1146 00:59:18 Nothing.
1147 00:59:26 Thank you,Shelby and Timmy, for tapping.
1148 00:59:30 Also, if anyone finds a retainer
1149 00:59:32 in a bright aqua case,that is mine.
1150 00:59:36 Please return it.
1151 00:59:37 My insurance won't covera replacement.
1152 00:59:40 Karen, I can see your bra.
1153 00:59:42 It's on purpose.I'm going for a look.
1154 00:59:44 Is it "girlwho slept with 11 people"?
1155 00:59:46 'Cause you're nailing it.
1156 00:59:49 I think your top is fetch.Gretchen!
1157 00:59:52 Stop tryingto make "fetch" happen.
1158 00:59:54 It's not going to happen.
1159 01:00:01 Okay,please welcome Santa's Helpers
1160 01:00:03 doing "Rockin' Around the Pole."
1161 01:00:15 ♪ We're gonnaTake a Christmas train ♪
1162 01:00:18 ♪ To where Santa lives ♪
1163 01:00:20 ♪ Up through the sleetAnd snow ♪
1164 01:00:23 ♪ Then we'll hop and bopStraight to the top ♪
1165 01:00:26 ♪ Last stop the North Pole ♪
1166 01:00:31 ♪ And we'll be rock, rockRockin' around the pole ♪
1167 01:00:35 ♪ Where the northern lightsAre bright ♪
1168 01:00:38 ♪ Rock, rock, rockin'Around the pole ♪
1169 01:00:41 ♪ We'll rock that poleAll night ♪
1170 01:00:44 ♪ And we'll be sing, singSingin' a Christmas tune ♪
1171 01:00:48 Thank you, next!
1172 01:00:51 ♪ Yeah, we'll be rockRock, rockin' up on that pole ♪
1173 01:00:55 ♪ Rockin' till the breakOf day ♪
1174 01:00:58 ♪ Yeah, we'll be rockin'Stuffin' a stockin' ♪
1175 01:01:01 ♪ And they'll be talkin'About us in town ♪
1176 01:01:04 ♪ Yeah, we'll be rockin' ♪
1177 01:01:06 ♪ And rollin' and lockin'And strollin' ♪
1178 01:01:08 ♪ Till the North Pole policeCome shut us down ♪
1179 01:01:33 So, I went to the Christmasshow and it was a mess, y'all.
1180 01:01:36 Regina ate total shit.
1181 01:01:38 I think people saw her nipple.
1182 01:01:40 It's just unprofessional.
1183 01:01:41 This was kind of hilarious.
1184 01:01:45 I've watched
1185 01:01:47 this video a thousand times.Gretchen piledrived Regina.
1186 01:01:50 Regina really should belifting through her glutes.
1187 01:01:52 Regina challenge!
1188 01:01:54 You know what that bitch gets?
1189 01:01:55 Not my sympathy.
1190 01:01:57 It's not likewe like Regina anyway.
1191 01:01:58 She's such a bitch.She's so spoiled.
1192 01:02:00 Regina always wantedto be the center of attention.
1193 01:02:02 Girl, we all see you.
1194 01:02:05 Regina got what she deserves.
1195 01:02:07 But you know, that Cady girlwas kind of cute.
1196 01:02:09 You know, she stayed, she waved.
1197 01:02:10 She ate, like, house down.
1198 01:02:12 Cady Heron was the only onethat acted normal.
1199 01:02:14 Oh, yeah. I think she salvaged
1200 01:02:15 the worst tradition of the year.
1201 01:02:17 Period.She was... She's kind of hot.
1202 01:02:19 She might even be hotterthan Regina George.
1203 01:02:21 No zits. Gum health.American Eagle.
1204 01:02:24 Cady doesn't even haveto wear deodorant.
1205 01:02:26 I'm thinking of going red.
1206 01:02:27 Okay, so, somebody sent methis look, and I was like,
1207 01:02:29 "Hot girls,we are going back to red!
1208 01:02:31 Y2K fire-crotch is back!"
1209 01:02:32 Thank you, Cady Heron.
1210 01:02:34 Cady was looking good.
1211 01:02:37 Caddy!
1212 01:02:40 Did you hear me?
1213 01:02:41 What? We did it.
1214 01:02:44 Regina lost her hot boyfriend.
1215 01:02:45 She lost her statusover everyone.
1216 01:02:47 She popped her blemishagainst the stage floor.
1217 01:02:48 That's rock bottom.
1218 01:02:51 We can stop. We're even.
1219 01:02:53 Finally you don't haveto talk to them anymore.
1220 01:02:55 We can finallyhave lunch together tomorrow.
1221 01:02:57 I'm getting dumplings.
1222 01:02:59 Unless they have pizza bagels,then I might get both.
1223 01:03:00 So good. I can't.
1224 01:03:04 I need one more lunch.
1225 01:03:30 I'm sorry, Regina.You can't sit with us.
1226 01:03:35 What?
1227 01:03:38 You're wearing sweatpants.It's Thursday.
1228 01:03:41 Whatever.Those rules aren't real.
1229 01:03:43 They were realthat day I wore a vest.
1230 01:03:45 Yeah, because that vestwas disgusting!
1231 01:03:46 You can't sit with us!
1232 01:04:01 These sweatpantsare all that fit me right now.
1233 01:04:07 What do you think, Cady?
1234 01:04:16 Sorry, Regina. Rules are rules.
1235 01:04:21 Fine.
1236 01:04:25 Oh.
1237 01:04:30 Take a picture, losers.It'll last longer.
1238 01:04:41 And that......was the beginning...
1239 01:04:42 ...of the... ...mother♪♪♪♪♪♪á
1240 01:04:43 ...end.
1241 01:04:48 Hello, may I have your attention
1242 01:04:50 for this morning'sannouncements?
1243 01:04:53 In honorof Women's History Month,
1244 01:04:55 the cafeteria is offeringvegan "Confident Joannes"
1245 01:04:58 which are Sloppy Joesmade of beans.
1246 01:05:03 Secondly, we wantto wish good luck
1247 01:05:05 to junior, Janis 'Imi'ike...
1248 01:05:07 ...who is a finalist
1249 01:05:09 in the Illinois Art Expothis Saturday.
1250 01:05:11 Go, Lions! Even for Art.
1251 01:05:14 Art, art, art! Next up,
1252 01:05:15 the Students ActivitiesCommittee voted,
1253 01:05:18 and the theme forthis year's Spring Fling...
1254 01:05:20 What's that lip color?Oh, it's e.l.f. O Face in...
1255 01:05:22 No, amazing, yeah.
1256 01:05:24 I was just making sureyour ears still worked.
1257 01:05:25 And finally, the nominees forSpring Fling King and Queen
1258 01:05:30 are as follows:
1259 01:05:31 For King, Aaron Samuels,
1260 01:05:34 Christian Wigginsand Shane Oman.
1261 01:05:37 And Damian Hubbard. What?
1262 01:05:40 For Queen...
1263 01:05:41 ...Regina George...
1264 01:05:43 ...Karen Shettyand Gretchen Wieners.
1265 01:05:45 Same old, same old.And Caddy Heron.
1266 01:05:50 Wow.
1267 01:05:52 Wait, my mistake.
1268 01:05:55 Cady Heron.
1269 01:06:01 Oh, my God.
1270 01:06:02 Oh, my God,so many people are texting me.
1271 01:06:06 Should I, um, text Aaronand congratulate him?
1272 01:06:08 No.
1273 01:06:10 Hey, do you want a liftthis weekend?
1274 01:06:11 'Cause Damian's borrowinghis grandma's Jazzy.
1275 01:06:14 A lift to what?
1276 01:06:17 My art show. Didn't you justhear Mr. Duvall talking about it?
1277 01:06:19 Oh, that's this weekend? Yeah.
1278 01:06:22 Oh, shoot. I have tickets to thisthing in Madison with my mom.
1279 01:06:26 Uh, I'm sorry.
1280 01:06:29 Yeah, you seemsuper sad about it.
1281 01:06:35 So, what are we doingthis weekend?
1282 01:06:37 Why is everyone asking meabout the weekend?
1283 01:06:39 It's Tuesday.
1284 01:06:40 Yeah, the weekend is only...several days away.
1285 01:06:44 I have to go to this thingin Madison with my mom.
1286 01:06:46 Your mom is going away?You should have people over.
1287 01:06:48 No, I'm going with her.
1288 01:06:50 Well, if you have people over,you can invite Aaron.
1289 01:06:56 Huh.
1290 01:06:58 Yeah, I guessI could get out of it.
1291 01:06:59 But, like,
1292 01:07:01 we would keep it small, right?Like five or six people?
1293 01:07:05 Yes! Sure!
1294 01:07:06 Why are you doing this to me?!
1295 01:07:09 I promised my friend JanisI'd go to her art show!
1296 01:07:12 But, binti, we've hadthese tickets for months.
1297 01:07:14 You love Neil deGrasse Tyson.
1298 01:07:16 Mom!
1299 01:07:17 Janis is my best friend!
1300 01:07:19 Do you not want meto be a good friend?!
1301 01:07:21 No! Yes! What?
1302 01:07:23 You can, uh, stay homeon your own, I guess.
1303 01:07:27 Hey. I'm havinga small get-together
1304 01:07:29 at my house tomorrow night.My mom's away, so...
1305 01:07:32 Is Regina going?
1306 01:07:34 No! Do you thinkI'm an idiot? No.
1307 01:07:36 It's just gonna bea few cool people,
1308 01:07:38 and you better beone of them, byotch.
1309 01:07:41 Okay. I'll be there.
1310 01:08:01 No, no, no!
1311 01:08:14 Have you seen Aaron?
1312 01:08:16 What? Aaron!
1313 01:08:18 Karen?
1314 01:08:20 Hi.
1315 01:08:26 Whoo!
1316 01:08:35 I've been looking for you.
1317 01:08:37 Me as well.
1318 01:08:39 I like your costume.I mean, um, your dress.
1319 01:08:43 Is this you holding a crocodile?
1320 01:08:45 Oh, my God, don't look atthat. That is so embarrassing.
1321 01:08:48 No, it's not. It's awesome.
1322 01:08:51 You miss Kenya?
1323 01:08:53 Yes.
1324 01:08:54 No. I mean, I...
1325 01:08:57 Well, I miss...
1326 01:08:59 I could seea lot more sky there.
1327 01:09:01 At night.
1328 01:09:02 My mom and I usedto map the constellations.
1329 01:09:06 The stars.
1330 01:09:16 You still onthe treadmill, honey?
1331 01:09:18 No, I'm over there.
1332 01:09:21 You got any plans tonight?It's Saturday.
1333 01:09:25 Mom, don't bother me.
1334 01:09:27 I know you're not feeling yourbest about your body right now,
1335 01:09:30 but remember that real beautycomes from the face.
1336 01:09:35 Don't ever talk about my body!
1337 01:09:38 Okay, okay.
1338 01:09:44 Wait, honey, why areyou eating Kälteen bars?
1339 01:09:47 These are what we gave Nana Joan
1340 01:09:50 when we needed herto gain weight.
1341 01:10:15 I am drinking
1342 01:10:17 not juice tonight.
1343 01:10:19 I know. I can tell.
1344 01:10:22 We should go downstairs.
1345 01:10:23 No, no, no, sit down.I'm amazing.
1346 01:10:32 I think you should wearyour hair however you want.
1347 01:10:36 I think it looks good both ways.
1348 01:10:42 Thank youfor inviting me tonight.
1349 01:10:45 I think I've spent too muchtime being pissed at Regina.
1350 01:10:48 Yeah, you really have.
1351 01:10:50 No more liars.I would never lie to you.
1352 01:10:54 I mean, I did lie to you once.
1353 01:10:57 But you are totallygonna laugh when I tell you.
1354 01:10:59 Tell me what?
1355 01:11:01 We're in here!
1356 01:11:08 I pretended to be bad at math
1357 01:11:11 to get you to help me,but I'm not bad at math.
1358 01:11:13 I'm actually... I'm actuallyreally good at math.
1359 01:11:16 You're the one who's onlykind of okay at math.
1360 01:11:20 Anyways, um, now I'm failing.
1361 01:11:22 So isn't that so dumb?That is dumb, yeah.
1362 01:11:27 Why wouldn't youjust talk to me?
1363 01:11:29 Because of Regina.'Cause you were her property.
1364 01:11:31 Her property?Shut up. Not her property.
1365 01:11:33 Don't tell me to shut up.
1366 01:11:36 What? Aaron, sit down.
1367 01:11:38 You are a clone of Regina.
1368 01:11:43 No. No, no, no!
1369 01:11:45 What are you thinking about?
1370 01:11:47 Chicken wings later.
1371 01:11:48 Do you ever think about me?
1372 01:11:50 Sometimes.When I'm looking right at you.
1373 01:12:01 Cady, Cady, Cady! No, no, no.
1374 01:12:07 Aaron!
1375 01:12:09 Aaron, wait!
1376 01:12:17 You dirty little liar.
1377 01:12:20 I... I can explain.
1378 01:12:22 Explain how you're supposedto be out of town
1379 01:12:24 but there are60 different people
1380 01:12:25 posting picturesfrom your party?
1381 01:12:27 You know I couldn't invite you.
1382 01:12:28 I... I have to actlike I don't know you.
1383 01:12:30 You are full of lies!
1384 01:12:32 Janis, I cannot stop this Jazzy.
1385 01:12:34 You know I have a curfew!
1386 01:12:35 You would hate this party.
1387 01:12:37 Why? Aren't you havingan amazing time
1388 01:12:39 with your amazing friends?
1389 01:12:41 Janis, I can't spendevery minute with you.
1390 01:12:43 It's not my fault you're likeobsessed with me or something!
1391 01:12:48 What? Oh, no, she didn't.
1392 01:12:51 See, this is the problemwith you Plastics.
1393 01:12:54 You think everyoneis obsessed with you
1394 01:12:56 when actuallyeverybody hates you.
1395 01:12:58 You made me like this.
1396 01:13:00 It was your idea for meto pretend to be Plastic!
1397 01:13:02 Buddy, it's not pretend!
1398 01:13:03 ♪ You are as plasticAs they come ♪
1399 01:13:05 ♪ You thinkYour shit don't stink ♪
1400 01:13:07 ♪ You thinkThe rest of us are dumb ♪
1401 01:13:08 ♪ I hate Regina's guts ♪
1402 01:13:10 ♪ But here's whatYou don't comprehend ♪
1403 01:13:12 ♪ At least she has the guts ♪
1404 01:13:13 ♪ To not pretendTo be my friend! ♪
1405 01:13:17 Here.
1406 01:13:18 Have this. It won an award.Janis.
1407 01:13:22 ♪ No, it's fine ♪
1408 01:13:25 ♪ Really fine ♪
1409 01:13:28 ♪ Go be fine! ♪
1410 01:13:35 And I want my pink shirt.
1411 01:14:16 ♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1412 01:14:21 ♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
1413 01:14:26 ♪ I will grind you to sand ♪
1414 01:14:32 ♪ Beneath my Louboutin-ed heel ♪
1415 01:14:37 ♪ This is what I getFor helping ♪
1416 01:14:42 ♪ Helping someone lame fit in ♪
1417 01:14:47 ♪ Cady Heron ♪
1418 01:14:50 ♪ Enjoy your temporary win ♪
1419 01:14:58 ♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1420 01:15:03 ♪ "This girl is a fugly cow" ♪
1421 01:15:09 ♪ Hey, Cady ♪
1422 01:15:11 ♪ How you like me now? ♪
1423 01:15:20 ♪ I want to watchThe world burn ♪
1424 01:15:22 ♪ I brought the gasoline ♪
1425 01:15:25 ♪ I want to watchThe world burn ♪
1426 01:15:27 ♪ And everyone get mean ♪
1427 01:15:31 ♪ I want to watchThe world burn ♪
1428 01:15:33 ♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1429 01:15:35 ♪ I want to watchThe world burn ♪
1430 01:15:38 ♪ And everyone get ♪
1431 01:15:41 ♪ Mean ♪
1432 01:16:02 ♪ Cady, time toWatch your back ♪
1433 01:16:05 ♪ Cady, time to turn and cough ♪
1434 01:16:08 ♪ Because you took me down ♪
1435 01:16:10 ♪ But you didn't finish me off ♪
1436 01:16:18 ♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1437 01:16:21 ♪ And in caseYou're keeping score ♪
1438 01:16:23 ♪ Cady may have won the battle ♪
1439 01:16:26 ♪ But I will win the war ♪
1440 01:16:30 I'm just so upset, Mr. Duvall.
1441 01:16:33 We found it in the hallway.
1442 01:16:35 I mean, the thingsit says about me?
1443 01:16:37 The things it saysabout all of us?
1444 01:16:39 ♪ I want to watchThe world burn ♪
1445 01:16:41 ♪ Trang PhamIs a grotsky byotch! ♪
1446 01:16:45 "Rachel Hamilton fillsher inhaler with vodka"?
1447 01:16:49 I mean... does that work?
1448 01:16:54 ♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1449 01:16:55 ♪ Ms. Norbury's ♪
1450 01:16:57 ♪ A drug pusher! ♪No, no, no. No!
1451 01:16:58 "Ms. Norbury is a sad,old drug pusher"?
1452 01:17:03 "Haley Fralenger has" ...what?
1453 01:17:06 What's this? Hairy nips.
1454 01:17:09 Good Lord.
1455 01:17:11 ♪ Mmm, I wantTo make the world burn ♪
1456 01:17:14 ♪ Janis is a pyro-lez! ♪
1457 01:17:17 Don't you worry. We'regonna find out who did this.
1458 01:17:19 There's only three girls in thewhole school who aren't in it.
1459 01:17:22 ♪ Regina is a fugly cow! ♪
1460 01:17:24 ♪ Regina is a fugly cow! ♪
1461 01:17:27 ♪ You wrote this ♪
1462 01:17:29 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa! ♪
1463 01:17:32 ♪ I want to watchThe world burn ♪
1464 01:17:35 ♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1465 01:17:37 ♪ I want to watchThe world burn ♪
1466 01:17:40 ♪ And everyone turn ♪
1467 01:17:43 ♪ Mean... Mean ♪
1468 01:17:47 ♪ Mean! ♪
1469 01:17:53 "Damian Hubbardis too gay to function"?
1470 01:17:55 That is only okay when I say it.
1471 01:17:57 Only Cady couldhave written that.
1472 01:18:03 ♪ I want to watchThe world burn ♪
1473 01:18:08 ♪ I want to makeThe world turn ♪
1474 01:18:12 ♪ So mean! ♪
1475 01:18:18 Oh, hell no!
1476 01:18:20 I did not goto graduate school for this.
1477 01:18:24 ♪ I want to watchThe world burn! ♪
1478 01:18:29 All junior girls reportto the gymnasium immediately!
1479 01:18:34 Immediately!
1480 01:18:49 Never in my 31 yearsas an educator
1481 01:18:52 have I seen such behavior.
1482 01:18:54 I have half a mind to cancelyour Spring Fling dance!
1483 01:18:57 No! I object.
1484 01:19:01 But we're not gonna do that
1485 01:19:02 because we've already paidthe DJ.
1486 01:19:04 But I am takingthis "Burn Book" seriously.
1487 01:19:08 Now who has somethingto say about this?
1488 01:19:19 Someone wrote in that book
1489 01:19:20 that I'm lyingabout being a virgin
1490 01:19:22 because I usesuper-jumbo tampons.
1491 01:19:24 But I can't help itif I have a heavy flow
1492 01:19:27 and a wideset vagina.
1493 01:19:28 Okay. Thank you.Hold that thought.
1494 01:19:33 Sharon, you need torun this. Oh, come on.
1495 01:19:36 I need to be ableto tell parents
1496 01:19:37 that we fixed this,and honestly,
1497 01:19:40 you need to provewhoever called you
1498 01:19:41 a drug pusher was just joking.
1499 01:19:45 Okay, fine,but you are walking the dogs
1500 01:19:47 every morningfor the rest of the week.
1501 01:19:49 Thank you. I love you.
1502 01:19:50 I love you, too.
1503 01:19:57 ♪ Well ♪
1504 01:19:59 Excuse me.
1505 01:20:02 Well, okay, hotshots,
1506 01:20:06 who wrote all this junk?
1507 01:20:10 Cady?
1508 01:20:12 Any ideas?
1509 01:20:16 No.
1510 01:20:17 Interesting.
1511 01:20:19 Um, can I just say,
1512 01:20:21 I don't think we have a cliqueproblem at this school?
1513 01:20:23 And some of usshouldn't have to participate
1514 01:20:25 in whatever this is,
1515 01:20:27 um, just becauseof a few bad people.
1516 01:20:29 "A few bad people." Mm-hmm.
1517 01:20:31 Okay. Well, let's unpack that.
1518 01:20:35 I want everybodyto close your eyes.
1519 01:20:40 And I want youto raise your hand
1520 01:20:41 if you have ever hada girl say something bad
1521 01:20:43 about you behind your back.
1522 01:20:47 Open your eyes.
1523 01:20:52 Now close them again.
1524 01:20:54 This time I want youto raise your hand
1525 01:20:56 if you have ever saidsomething bad
1526 01:20:58 about a friend behind her back.
1527 01:21:09 Open your eyes.
1528 01:21:14 Hmm.
1529 01:21:15 Seems like maybewe could take a break
1530 01:21:17 from being victimsin this situation
1531 01:21:20 and start taking responsibility
1532 01:21:22 for our own actions.
1533 01:21:24 Okay, we're gonna write outsome apologies
1534 01:21:26 to people that we've hurtin our lives.
1535 01:21:28 Everybody up.
1536 01:21:32 I'm gonna kill you.
1537 01:21:35 'Cause one thingI know for sure, guys:
1538 01:21:37 Calling someone "ugly" is notgonna make you better looking.
1539 01:21:41 Calling somebody else "stupid"does not make you any smarter.
1540 01:21:45 And we as women haveto be able to trust
1541 01:21:48 and support each other.
1542 01:21:50 Like this.
1543 01:21:55 Okay, that was good.That was really good.
1544 01:21:57 That could havereally backfired.
1545 01:21:59 Alyssa,
1546 01:22:01 I'm sorry I said you looklike you comb your hair
1547 01:22:03 with a chicken bone.
1548 01:22:05 I know you're vegetarian.
1549 01:22:11 Gretchen, I'm sorry I laughedat you that time you got diarrhea
1550 01:22:14 on the Ferris wheel.
1551 01:22:16 And I'm sorryfor repeating it now.
1552 01:22:18 And I'm sorry to the peoplewho were below us.
1553 01:22:24 Soona,
1554 01:22:25 I'm sorry I saidyou were dragging
1555 01:22:27 during "Revenge Party."
1556 01:22:29 There was just, like,so much pressure on us
1557 01:22:31 to move the story forwardthrough montage.
1558 01:22:33 Like, you know how it is.
1559 01:22:34 What is going on?
1560 01:22:36 Don't worry about it.
1561 01:22:37 I just wishwe could all get along
1562 01:22:40 like we used toin elementary school.
1563 01:22:42 I wish I could bake a cake
1564 01:22:44 made out of rainbows and smiles.
1565 01:22:48 Then we could all eat itand be happy.
1566 01:22:50 She don't even go here!
1567 01:22:54 Do you go to this school?
1568 01:22:55 I'm here for a track meet.
1569 01:22:58 I just have a lot of feelings!
1570 01:23:00 Okay, sweetheart,you got to go home.
1571 01:23:03 Okay.
1572 01:23:05 Come on, we're gonna...Oh, thank you.
1573 01:23:06 ...we're gonna callyour grown-up.
1574 01:23:08 My turn, I guess.
1575 01:23:10 Watch, this is either gonna besome really crappy art
1576 01:23:12 or really good fire.
1577 01:23:21 Okay, sure.
1578 01:23:23 I have an apology.
1579 01:23:26 My friend and I thoughtit would be fun
1580 01:23:28 to mess up Regina George's life.
1581 01:23:31 So we got these candy-bar things
1582 01:23:33 to make her gain weight...
1583 01:23:35 ...and we told her lardwas face cream.
1584 01:23:39 And we turned her best friendsagainst her.
1585 01:23:43 And then my friend Cady...
1586 01:23:45 Yeah, you all knowmy friend Cady.
1587 01:23:47 She got Regina's boyfriendto dump her!
1588 01:23:53 Oh!
1589 01:23:54 And it turns out,
1590 01:23:56 Cady's actually just as selfish
1591 01:23:57 and phony as Regina George.
1592 01:24:02 So this apology is to myself.
1593 01:24:05 Because I should'veknown better.
1594 01:24:09 ♪ So your best friendScrewed you over ♪
1595 01:24:10 ♪ Acted nice whenShe's not nice ♪
1596 01:24:12 ♪ Well, I have some advice ♪
1597 01:24:14 ♪ 'Cause it's happenedTo me twice ♪
1598 01:24:16 ♪ Here's my secret strategyIt always works because ♪
1599 01:24:19 ♪ The world doesn't endIt just feels like it does ♪
1600 01:24:22 ♪ Just raise your right finger ♪
1601 01:24:25 ♪ And solemnly swear ♪
1602 01:24:30 ♪ Whatever they say about me ♪
1603 01:24:33 ♪ I don't care ♪
1604 01:24:36 ♪ I won't twist in knotsTo join your game ♪
1605 01:24:38 ♪ I will say "You make me mad" ♪
1606 01:24:40 ♪ And if you treat me badI'll say, "You're bad" ♪
1607 01:24:43 ♪ If I eat aloneFrom this moment on ♪
1608 01:24:45 ♪ That's just what I'll do ♪
1609 01:24:47 ♪ 'Cause I'd rather be meI'd rather be me ♪
1610 01:24:50 ♪ I'd rather be me ♪
1611 01:24:53 ♪ Than be with you ♪
1612 01:25:01 ♪ We're supposedTo all be ladies ♪
1613 01:25:03 ♪ And be nurturing and care ♪
1614 01:25:04 ♪ Is that really fair? ♪
1615 01:25:06 ♪ Boys get to fightWe have to share ♪
1616 01:25:08 ♪ Here's the way thatThat turns out ♪
1617 01:25:09 ♪ We always understand ♪
1618 01:25:11 ♪ How to slap someone downWith our underhand ♪
1619 01:25:14 ♪ So here is my right finger ♪
1620 01:25:18 ♪ To how girls should behave ♪
1621 01:25:22 ♪ 'Cause sometimesWhat's meant to break you ♪
1622 01:25:25 ♪ Makes you brave ♪
1623 01:25:29 ♪ So I will not act all innocentI won't fake apologize ♪
1624 01:25:32 ♪ Let's just fightAnd then make up ♪
1625 01:25:34 ♪ Not tell these lies ♪
1626 01:25:36 ♪ Let's call our damage even ♪
1627 01:25:37 ♪ Clean the slateTill it's like new ♪
1628 01:25:39 ♪ It's a new life for meWhere I'd rather be me ♪
1629 01:25:43 ♪ I'd rather be me ♪
1630 01:25:45 ♪ Than be with you ♪
1631 01:25:49 ♪ I'll say, "No" ♪♪ No! ♪
1632 01:25:51 ♪ I'll say, "Knock it offWith your notes ♪
1633 01:25:52 ♪ And your rulesAnd your games" ♪
1634 01:25:55 ♪ And those sycophants Who followyou I'll remember all their names ♪
1635 01:25:57 ♪ And when they drag you downLike they inevitably do ♪
1636 01:26:00 ♪ I will not laugh alongWith them ♪
1637 01:26:02 ♪ And approveTheir palace coup ♪
1638 01:26:03 ♪ 'Cause that's not me ♪
1639 01:26:07 ♪ I don't needTheir good opinions ♪
1640 01:26:09 ♪ I've got plenty of opinions ♪
1641 01:26:11 ♪ Every asshole has opinionsBut it doesn't make 'em true ♪
1642 01:26:14 ♪ What's true is being meAnd I'd rather be me ♪
1643 01:26:17 ♪ I'd rather be me ♪
1644 01:26:20 ♪ Than be with you ♪
1645 01:26:24 ♪ So raise 'em high'Cause playing nice and shy ♪
1646 01:26:28 ♪ Is insulting my IQ ♪
1647 01:26:32 ♪ I'd rather be meI'd rather be me ♪
1648 01:26:36 ♪ I'd rather be meThan be with you ♪
1649 01:26:39 Walk away, turd.
1650 01:26:41 Regina, I'm so sorry!I didn't mean to hurt you!
1651 01:26:44 You area lowlife version of me...
1652 01:26:46 ♪ I'd rather be meI'd rather be me ♪
1653 01:26:50 ♪ I'd rather be meThan be with ♪
1654 01:26:55 ♪ You! ♪
1655 01:27:07 And that's howRegina George died.
1656 01:27:10 Again, no one died!
1657 01:27:13 I mean, technically, Reginadid die for, like, 15 seconds
1658 01:27:16 but then she was revived.
1659 01:27:18 And of course, the rumormill started going insane.
1660 01:27:21 I just sawRegina get hit by a bus.
1661 01:27:24 An artery come out of her neckand her head went all the way around!
1662 01:27:26 Guys, street safetyis so important.
1663 01:27:28 I'm just sad, like,that's all I can say.
1664 01:27:33 We are sendingour love and prayers...
1665 01:27:35 Link in bio to my GoFundMepage to raise money.
1666 01:27:38 Regina, we knewyou would pull through.
1667 01:27:39 How do I get thisoff my algorithm?
1668 01:27:41 I'm not one to spread rumors,
1669 01:27:42 but I'm pretty sure I saw Cadypush her right in front of it.
1670 01:27:45 On my life, Cady pushed her.
1671 01:27:47 I literally saw Cadypush Regina.
1672 01:27:49 Don't fill up my comments,but... karma.
1673 01:27:51 Girls are made derangedby what's called hormones.
1674 01:27:54 Hormones.
1675 01:27:55 W-H-O-R...
1676 01:28:06 F that bitch. F that wench.
1677 01:28:15 All right.
1678 01:28:17 Ms. Norbury is on a, uh,temporary leave of absence.
1679 01:28:21 Jail. Hey.
1680 01:28:23 I heard that, Miss Rockwell.
1681 01:28:25 Anyways, we're not surewho your substitute...
1682 01:28:28 I did it.
1683 01:28:32 I wrote that Ms. Norbury isa drug pusher, and it's a lie.
1684 01:28:46 Three-week suspension.
1685 01:28:49 This is notwho I know you to be.
1686 01:28:52 I know.
1687 01:28:57 Where is my Ndebele vase?
1688 01:28:59 What? What do you mean, what?
1689 01:29:02 You know, the colorful vasethat's always in that window.
1690 01:29:05 Where is it?
1691 01:29:10 I had some friends overwhen you were away.
1692 01:29:13 Go.
1693 01:29:15 Go do your homework!
1694 01:29:16 Um, also...
1695 01:29:20 I need you to signmy Calculus test,
1696 01:29:22 'cause I'm failing.
1697 01:29:54 Hey.
1698 01:29:56 I guess you'll need this backto set an alarm for tomorrow.
1699 01:30:00 Don't want it.
1700 01:30:02 You only have one message.
1701 01:30:04 From someone named Karen,who says:
1702 01:30:06 "Donut worry.I am still your freend."
1703 01:30:14 How bad is it gonna be tomorrow?
1704 01:30:16 I was thinking maybeI should go back
1705 01:30:18 to being homeschooled.
1706 01:30:20 Sweetie, no.
1707 01:30:21 It's too small, me and you.
1708 01:30:23 And I thinkyou're learning things now
1709 01:30:24 that I don't know how to teach.
1710 01:30:33 Good night.
1711 01:30:35 Mom? Hmm?
1712 01:30:39 Can you sit with metill I fall asleep?
1713 01:30:43 Mm-hmm.
1714 01:30:56 Oh, sweetie.
1715 01:31:18 Oh, hi. Did you wantto buy some drugs?
1716 01:31:21 No, I was just handingmy quiz back.
1717 01:31:24 You know, when the policetore apart my house
1718 01:31:26 looking for imaginary heroin,
1719 01:31:28 I found this old calculatorthat I thought I lost, so...
1720 01:31:31 totally worth it.
1721 01:31:33 I'm really sorry.
1722 01:31:35 Thank you.
1723 01:31:36 But I know you didn't writethat whole book yourself.
1724 01:31:38 You gonna tell Mr. Duvallwho did?
1725 01:31:41 No.
1726 01:31:42 Trying this new thingwhere I don't talk
1727 01:31:45 about people behind their backs.
1728 01:31:46 Getting hit by a bus seemslike enough punishment.
1729 01:31:51 100. Welcome back, nerd.
1730 01:31:55 Will you be attendingthe Spring Fling this weekend?
1731 01:31:57 No. Everyone hates me.
1732 01:32:00 Perfect, becauseI figured out a way for you
1733 01:32:02 to earn some extra credit.
1734 01:32:03 Hey, Bird, you ready to suit up
1735 01:32:05 and show offyour math schquills?
1736 01:32:07 Kev, stop trying to make "schquills"happen. It's not gonna happen.
1737 01:32:09 Jacob, get off my dick.Hey! PG-13, please.
1738 01:32:30 Welcome to the ICMTState Math Championships.
1739 01:32:33 Sponsored by SeatGeek.
1740 01:32:34 Yeah, SeatGeek!
1741 01:32:36 Tonight will be the culmination
1742 01:32:38 of all you've worked for.
1743 01:32:41 Each right answerwill be worth two points.
1744 01:32:43 The highest score at the endof 40 minutes of play wins.
1745 01:32:46 As always, no calculators.
1746 01:32:51 Question one. Two, three, four!
1747 01:32:59 Determine the equation ofthe tangent line to the graph.
1748 01:33:03 The answer is B. Correct.
1749 01:33:05 Solve the equation aboveusing prime numbers.
1750 01:33:08 Prime factor 41.
1751 01:33:10 Correct.
1752 01:33:12 Please solve for x.
1753 01:33:13 X = 2? Incorrect.
1754 01:33:16 X is greaterthan the value of y.
1755 01:33:17 Correct.
1756 01:33:21 ♪ Stupid with love ♪
1757 01:33:23 ♪ I didn't get it ♪
1758 01:33:26 ♪ I didn't get it, somehow ♪
1759 01:33:30 ♪ Smart with mathBut stupid with love ♪
1760 01:33:34 ♪ I didn't get it ♪
1761 01:33:36 Negative two!
1762 01:33:37 Correct.
1763 01:33:38 ♪ Stupid with love ♪
1764 01:33:42 ♪ Whoa-oa-oa Stupid with love ♪
1765 01:33:44 Function [x] = mx + c. Correct.
1766 01:33:47 ♪ Stupid with love ♪
1767 01:33:51 ♪ Whoa-oa-oa Stupid with love ♪
1768 01:33:52 Both polynomialsare second degree,
1769 01:33:54 so the asymptote is at y = 5.
1770 01:33:56 Excellent.
1771 01:33:57 ♪ I feel my brainBegin to rust ♪
1772 01:33:59 ♪ I am filled with calcu-lust ♪
1773 01:34:01 ♪ Does this guy work out?He must ♪
1774 01:34:03 ♪ All sweaty at the gym ♪
1775 01:34:05 ♪ Could that image be more hot?Let me just enjoy That thought ♪
1776 01:34:10 ♪ School was rough ♪
1777 01:34:11 ♪ But now it's not ♪
1778 01:34:12 Negative four?
1779 01:34:13 True.
1780 01:34:14 29?
1781 01:34:16 The slope is zero.
1782 01:34:17 Incorrect.
1783 01:34:18 The slopeof the tangent line is four.
1784 01:34:20 Excellent.
1785 01:34:22 Well, this has only everhappened once before.
1786 01:34:25 Ladies and gentlemen,we have a tie.
1787 01:34:30 In the event of a tie,
1788 01:34:32 we move into a one-on-onesudden-death round
1789 01:34:35 where each teammay choose their opponent.
1790 01:34:43 We pick the girl.
1791 01:34:46 We pick the girl, too.
1792 01:34:51 Ms. Krafft, Ms. Heron,please step forward.
1793 01:35:10 Nice to meet you.Whatever, slut.
1794 01:35:13 Contestants, please findthe limit of this expression.
1795 01:35:21 You know,it's not me against you.
1796 01:35:23 It's North Shoreversus Marymount.
1797 01:35:28 A very wise teacher...
1798 01:35:30 The limit is negative one.
1799 01:35:33 That answer is incorrect.
1800 01:35:37 If Ms. Heron can answercorrectly, we have a winner.
1801 01:35:40 You got this, Golf Bird.
1802 01:35:43 Why can't I rememberanything about limits?
1803 01:35:46 Honey, I don't know your life.
1804 01:35:49 Why did you waste timeinsulting me?
1805 01:35:51 Why did I waste timejudging your hair?
1806 01:35:53 This is not a competition.
1807 01:35:56 It kind of is, though.
1808 01:35:58 Right.
1809 01:36:00 A math one.
1810 01:36:03 ♪ I was stupid ♪
1811 01:36:06 ♪ But now I get it ♪
1812 01:36:08 ♪ No what ifs, might havesCould have been if I had ♪
1813 01:36:12 ♪ Only tried, not held back ♪
1814 01:36:14 ♪ That's not a part of my plan ♪
1815 01:36:17 ♪ I see the thingsThat I missed ♪
1816 01:36:19 ♪ No, that's not the meThat I am ♪
1817 01:36:21 ♪ The limit It doesn't exist! ♪
1818 01:36:25 The limit does not exist.
1819 01:36:27 Our new state champions,the North Shore Mathletes.
1820 01:36:34 Yeah, you like that, Marymount?
1821 01:36:35 Get some! Get some!
1822 01:36:38 Don't hold me back!Don't hold me back!
1823 01:36:40 ♪ Stupid with love ♪
1824 01:36:42 ♪ But now I get it ♪
1825 01:36:44 ♪ Stupid with love ♪
1826 01:36:46 ♪ But now I get it ♪
1827 01:36:49 ♪ Stupid with love ♪
1828 01:36:51 ♪ But now I get it Stupid! ♪
1829 01:36:54 Have you seen Jason?
1830 01:36:55 Like right nowor like ever in life?
1831 01:36:58 Ohhh, miss!
1832 01:36:59 I'm supposed to hangwith my fallback in there
1833 01:37:02 but, you know,if you wanted to slip out,
1834 01:37:03 meet in my Jeep or... Jason!
1835 01:37:05 It's me!
1836 01:37:07 "Fallback"?
1837 01:37:08 No, I... I know.Yeah, I knew the whole time.
1838 01:37:10 No, we are done!
1839 01:37:13 Because you know what?
1840 01:37:14 I have a 140 IQ,very toned legs,
1841 01:37:18 and my parents love me!
1842 01:37:20 And you will regret thiswhen you're old
1843 01:37:22 because I am fricking fetch!
1844 01:37:24 That's how you use it. Come on.
1845 01:37:29 Okay, attention, everybody.
1846 01:37:32 Whoo-hoo-hoo, let's go!
1847 01:37:42 Regina!
1848 01:37:46 You look pretty.
1849 01:37:50 I'm wearinga corrective neck collar.
1850 01:37:59 I'm sorry about the bus.I feel like it's all my fault.
1851 01:38:02 No... No, it's not your fault.
1852 01:38:05 Cady, don't apologize forthings that aren't your fault.
1853 01:38:08 But, yeah,I forgive you, 'cause...
1854 01:38:12 I'm on a lotof pain medication right now.
1855 01:38:14 You know I died for 15 seconds?
1856 01:38:17 Yeah.
1857 01:38:19 Anyway, my mom was reallypumped to be on the news.
1858 01:38:25 It's weird when people treat you
1859 01:38:26 like you're famous or something.
1860 01:38:27 It's amazing.
1861 01:38:30 Until it's not.
1862 01:38:33 Look, I...I know I have to change.
1863 01:38:38 And I was harsh.
1864 01:38:40 And people say that I'm a bitch.
1865 01:38:42 You know what they wouldcall me if I was a boy?
1866 01:38:44 Strong. "Reginald."
1867 01:38:47 That's what my mom was gonnaname me if I was a boy, so...
1868 01:38:51 Honestly,I would rather be "bitch."
1869 01:39:00 I like you.
1870 01:39:02 But this medicinemakes me like everyone, so...
1871 01:39:05 Okay,do we have all of our nominees
1872 01:39:08 for the Spring FlingKing and Queen onstage?
1873 01:39:10 I just want to sayyou're all winners.
1874 01:39:13 And I am retiring as soonas this evening is over.
1875 01:39:19 The winnerof the Spring Fling King is...
1876 01:39:22 Shane Oman.
1877 01:39:26 Whoo! Yeah!
1878 01:39:31 Hey.
1879 01:39:33 Um, have you seen Janis?
1880 01:39:35 Every day since 2009.
1881 01:39:38 But she doesn't want to see you.
1882 01:39:39 And your Spring Fling Queen...
1883 01:39:42 Damian, I'm... I'm really sorry.
1884 01:39:45 Cady Heron.
1885 01:39:47 What? I mean, of course she is.
1886 01:39:52 Go, Cady!
1887 01:39:55 Where is Cady?
1888 01:40:11 Congratulations.
1889 01:40:16 Um...
1890 01:40:18 I think people voted for me
1891 01:40:20 because they thinkI pushed someone
1892 01:40:22 in front of a bus.
1893 01:40:23 It's not your fault.A bus pushed me.
1894 01:40:30 But what is my fault is
1895 01:40:34 the way I treated my friends.
1896 01:40:37 I used you and I lied to youand I'm... I'm so sorry.
1897 01:40:44 I'm also sorry to everyone
1898 01:40:46 whose feelings got hurtfrom the Burn Book.
1899 01:40:48 You know,it's really not required
1900 01:40:50 for you to make a speech.
1901 01:40:52 Right. Almost done,I promise. Um...
1902 01:40:55 I think everyone lookslike royalty tonight.
1903 01:40:59 It just seems weirdfor one person to win this.
1904 01:41:07 I mean,it's just a chunk of plastic.
1905 01:41:12 We could just share it.
1906 01:41:18 ♪ Cheap, fake Easy to break ♪
1907 01:41:23 ♪ That's how I used to be ♪
1908 01:41:26 Here... Take it.
1909 01:41:28 ♪ Now I'm awake ♪
1910 01:41:31 ♪ I'll tell you what I see ♪
1911 01:41:33 ♪ Plastic don't shineGlitter don't shine ♪
1912 01:41:36 ♪ Rhinestones don't shineThe way you do ♪
1913 01:41:41 ♪ You are so realYou are so rare ♪
1914 01:41:44 ♪ I see you there ♪
1915 01:41:47 ♪ I see you ♪
1916 01:41:50 ♪ I see stars ♪
1917 01:41:53 ♪ So many stars tonight ♪
1918 01:41:56 ♪ You could make diamonds dull ♪
1919 01:42:00 ♪ You are so beautiful ♪
1920 01:42:04 ♪ I see stars ♪
1921 01:42:07 ♪ You shine as bright as day ♪
1922 01:42:10 ♪ I will look out for you ♪
1923 01:42:14 ♪ We'll light each other's way ♪
1924 01:42:17 ♪ You're all stars ♪
1925 01:42:23 All right,have a good time, everyone.
1926 01:42:25 No vaping.
1927 01:42:26 Rachel Hamilton!
1928 01:42:27 Give me that inhaler.
1929 01:42:43 Are you still mad at me?
1930 01:42:45 I don't know.Are you still an asshole?
1931 01:42:48 I don't think so?
1932 01:42:56 Cute.
1933 01:42:59 ♪ Wherever darkness falls ♪
1934 01:43:02 ♪ I'll be the light ♪
1935 01:43:07 ♪ To guide you home ♪
1936 01:43:11 She sounds good.
1937 01:43:14 But she does not go here, y'all.
1938 01:43:16 Would you look over there?Oh, my gosh!
1939 01:43:21 Do you want to dance? Yeah.
1940 01:43:29 Congrats on winning state. Thejacket looks, uh, really good on you.
1941 01:43:31 Thanks. It has a pocket insidefor a calculator.
1942 01:43:35 What? Yeah.
1943 01:43:36 Grool.
1944 01:43:39 Grool.
1945 01:43:43 ♪ You stars ♪
1946 01:43:46 ♪ So many stars tonight ♪
1947 01:43:50 ♪ I see stars ♪
1948 01:43:53 And that wasthe first time in history
1949 01:43:54 that Spring Flingwas actually fun.
1950 01:43:57 Ms. Norbury andMr. Duvall got wasted. JK, JK.
1951 01:44:02 Karen discovered the safe joy
1952 01:44:04 of dancing with theater boys.
1953 01:44:07 And Plastics and Jockspartied with math nerds.
1954 01:44:11 Janis danced to a pop song
1955 01:44:13 and didn't burst into flames.
1956 01:44:15 Ow. Ow. Ow!
1957 01:44:17 And everyone elsejust kind of floated.
1958 01:44:23 So the moralof our story is thus:
1959 01:44:25 Calling someone stupidwon't make you any smarter.
1960 01:44:28 And even the peopleyou really don't like
1961 01:44:30 are still peoplewho just want to coexist.
1962 01:44:32 So get off their dicks!
1963 01:44:38 ♪ I see ♪
1964 01:44:40 ♪ Stars! ♪
1965 01:44:48 ♪ Where she at?What she doing? ♪
1966 01:44:50 ♪ Who she withAnd where she from? ♪
1967 01:44:52 ♪ Well, she's thisOh, she's that ♪
1968 01:44:53 ♪ She's a flight riskOn the run ♪
1969 01:44:56 ♪ She's back, she's back ♪
1970 01:44:58 ♪ Yeah, I'm back, bitchAre you done? ♪
1971 01:44:59 ♪ Excuse meWhile I bite my tongue ♪
1972 01:45:03 ♪ I'm back on that same shitFrom before ♪
1973 01:45:07 ♪ I can't take this pettinessNow I'm bored ♪
1974 01:45:11 ♪ We can champagneThere's enough for us all ♪
1975 01:45:15 ♪ Told you who I am Andwhat it is It's not my fault ♪
1976 01:45:18 ♪ It's not my fault You came withher But she might leave with me ♪
1977 01:45:22 ♪ It's not my fault You've gotto pay For what I get for free ♪
1978 01:45:26 ♪ It's not my fault ♪
1979 01:45:28 ♪ You're like, you're likeYou're like in love with me ♪
1980 01:45:30 ♪ It's not my faultYou're like in love with me ♪
1981 01:45:32 ♪ You're like in love with me ♪
1982 01:45:35 ♪ Get her number, get her nameGet a good thing While you can ♪
1983 01:45:38 ♪ Kiss a blonde, kiss a friendCan a gay girl get an amen? ♪
1984 01:45:42 ♪ I'm back on that same shitFrom before ♪
1985 01:45:46 ♪ I can't take this pettinessNow I'm bored ♪
1986 01:45:50 ♪ We can champagneThere's enough for us all ♪
1987 01:45:54 ♪ I told you who I amAnd what it is ♪
1988 01:45:56 ♪ It's not my faultIt's not my fault ♪
1989 01:45:59 ♪ You came with herBut she might leave with me ♪
1990 01:46:01 ♪ It's not my fault ♪
1991 01:46:03 ♪ You've got to payFor what I get for free ♪
1992 01:46:05 ♪ It's not my fault You're like,you're like You're like in love with me ♪
1993 01:46:09 ♪ It's not my faultYou're like in love with me ♪
1994 01:46:11 ♪ You're like in love with me ♪
1995 01:46:13 ♪ I mean, who wouldn't wantTo be in love with me ♪
1996 01:46:15 ♪ I'm a mood boardGirls got to Pinterest me ♪
1997 01:46:17 ♪ I'm a stallion but they comeAnd f... me like Trojan ♪
1998 01:46:19 ♪ And it wouldn't be meIf I ain't cause commotion ♪
1999 01:46:22 ♪ I'm so bad Dudes thoughtI was AI I ballin' like AI ♪
2000 01:46:24 ♪ I stick to a whole lot Of paperlike a stapler Stack like Jenga ♪
2001 01:46:27 ♪ And you basic bitchGet stroke like a painter ♪
2002 01:46:29 ♪ It's funny how the mean girlOpen all the doors ♪
2003 01:46:31 ♪ I've been told y'allI'm the black Regina George ♪
2004 01:46:33 ♪ Bikini top, booty shortsMegan core ♪
2005 01:46:35 ♪ You was hating back thenNow you finna hate more ♪
2006 01:46:36 ♪ I got influenceThey do anything I endorse ♪
2007 01:46:38 ♪ I run s...To be a bad bitch is a sport ♪
2008 01:46:41 ♪ I woke up hotterThan I was yesterday ♪
2009 01:46:43 ♪ Don't care about no rules'Cause I always get my way ♪
2010 01:46:47 ♪ It's not my fault ♪
2011 01:46:49 ♪ You came with herBut she might leave with me ♪
2012 01:46:52 ♪ It's not my fault You've gotto pay For what I get for free ♪
2013 01:46:55 ♪ It's not my fault You're like,you're like You're like in love with me ♪
2014 01:46:59 ♪ It's not my faultYou're like in love with me ♪
2015 01:47:02 ♪ You're like in love with me ♪
2016 01:47:06 ♪ A sexy Quint From sexy Jaws ♪
2017 01:47:08 ♪ Catching sexy sharks ♪
2018 01:47:10 ♪ Sexy Eleanor RooseveltOr sexy Joan of Arc ♪
2019 01:47:13 ♪ I can be a sexy pirateOr a sexy ballet dancer ♪
2020 01:47:17 ♪ I can be a sexy doctorAnd cure some sexy cancer! ♪
2021 01:47:34 ♪ Happy Halloween! ♪
2022 01:47:39 ♪ This isModern feminism talkin' ♪
2023 01:47:43 ♪ Watch me as I run the worldIn shoes I cannot walk in ♪
2024 01:47:46 ♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
2025 01:47:50 ♪ And sex... sex ♪
2026 01:47:53 ♪ Sexy! ♪
2027 01:47:58 I'm a sexy mouse. Duh!
2028 01:52:00 You're next.
2029 01:52:01 You could be really hotif you change, like,
2030 01:52:04 everything.