隔壁房间 The Room Next Door(2024)(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:00:09 [soft orchestral music playing]
2 00:00:51 [lively chatter]
3 00:00:53 - [Ingrid] Hi. How are you?- [Bobbi] I'm good. Thanks.
4 00:00:55 [Ingrid] Who do I make this out to?
5 00:00:57 [Bobbi] Uh, Bobbi with an "I".
6 00:01:02 In the prologue,you say you wrote this book
7 00:01:05 in order to better understand and accept death.
8 00:01:07 Um...
9 00:01:08 Yeah. It feels unnatural to me.
10 00:01:11 I can't accept that somethingalive has to die.
11 00:01:13 Thank you.
12 00:01:16 - Ingrid...- Mm.
13 00:01:17 We've fulfilled the hour.
14 00:01:18 I mean, in fact,we've gone over.
15 00:01:20 Well, there's stilla lot of people waiting.
16 00:01:22 Yes. We'll do what you want.
17 00:01:24 Could you sign mine?
18 00:01:25 Stella! I didn't see you.
19 00:01:27 Why didn't youcome straight up?
20 00:01:29 I was embarrassed.
21 00:01:30 You draw a crowd!
22 00:01:32 - A lot of young people.- Thank you.
23 00:01:33 - Not just women.- [laughs]
24 00:01:35 Stella, this is Anne.Anne, my friend Stella.
25 00:01:37 - Nice to meet you.- Nice to meet you.
26 00:01:38 I'm gonna stay untilI've signed for everybody.
27 00:01:40 Yes. I'll just make sureno one else joins the line.
28 00:01:42 Okay. [chuckles]
29 00:01:44 Oh, I haven't seen youin forever.
30 00:01:46 I'm living in Boston now.
31 00:01:48 I came to see my son,
32 00:01:49 and to visit Marthain the hospital.
33 00:01:53 You know she has cancer, right?
34 00:01:55 It's a bad one.
35 00:01:56 Martha?
36 00:01:57 Martha Hunt?
37 00:01:58 Yes.
38 00:02:00 She's at Manhattan MemorialCancer Center.
39 00:02:01 I thought you would've heard.
40 00:02:03 No. To be honest,I haven't seen her in years.
41 00:02:05 Martha is sick?I can't imagine it.
42 00:02:07 If you go see her,it'll make her very happy.
43 00:02:10 Yeah. Of course.
44 00:02:11 Of course I will.
45 00:02:13 Um, thank youso much for coming.
46 00:02:16 Congratulations.
47 00:02:18 - Thank you.- Mm!
48 00:02:19 - I'll see you soon.- Thanks.
49 00:02:20 - Bye.- Bye.
50 00:02:24 Hi.
51 00:02:27 - Who do I make this out to?- Frances.
52 00:02:30 - Is that you?- No, it's my girlfriend.
53 00:02:33 She really admires you.
54 00:02:35 - So do I.- Thank you.
55 00:02:40 Could you write"It won't happen again"?
56 00:02:45 Of course I can.
57 00:02:48 Yes. Thank you.It won't happen again.
58 00:02:52 I hope not.
59 00:03:09 Hi. I'm hereto see Martha Hunt.
60 00:03:12 I think she'son the 16th floor.
61 00:03:14 Okay. One sec.
62 00:03:16 [keyboard clacks]
63 00:03:18 Yes. Room 1614.
64 00:03:20 The elevator is at the endof the hall, on the left.
65 00:03:22 - Thanks.- No problem.
66 00:03:24 [people speaking indistinctly]
67 00:03:39 [knock at door]
68 00:03:42 [door opens]
69 00:03:46 Martha?
70 00:03:48 [Martha] Ingrid!
71 00:03:50 What a surprise!
72 00:03:53 - How did you hear?- I ran into Stella.
73 00:03:55 - She told me. [kisses]- Oh.
74 00:03:58 I'm so sorry, I didn'teven know you were sick.
75 00:04:01 Oh, well, you with your workand me with mine.
76 00:04:04 I mean, time's gotten awayfrom us.
77 00:04:06 Yes, and I was living in Paris.
78 00:04:08 Yeah, I heard.I've been reading about you.
79 00:04:11 I know you have publishedanother book
80 00:04:13 and it's doing very well.
81 00:04:15 Thank you. [sighs]
82 00:04:17 So...
83 00:04:19 How are you?
84 00:04:21 I'm sure you're sickof telling everybody.
85 00:04:24 Well, it's cervical cancer.Stage three.
86 00:04:28 It isn't operable,but they're treating me, so...
87 00:04:31 looks like I'm not gonna diequite yet.
88 00:04:34 Um, I've become a guinea pigfor an experimental treatment
89 00:04:39 and the results are betterthan the doctors expected.
90 00:04:42 - Great!- Yeah.
91 00:04:44 That's great! Well, you seemlike you're in good spirits.
92 00:04:46 Well, I swing betweeneuphoria and depression.
93 00:04:49 - Oh, I'm so sorry.- [laughs]
94 00:04:51 No, it's normal,
95 00:04:52 and the doctors warned me,you know.
96 00:04:55 - Highs and lows.- Mm-hmm.
97 00:04:57 Mm-hmm.
98 00:04:59 It'll sound absurd,
99 00:05:01 but after all the acceptingand preparing to face the end,
100 00:05:06 survival feelsalmost disappointing.
101 00:05:09 Oh, don't say that.
102 00:05:10 No, I was prepared to leave.
103 00:05:15 In fact, when they gave methe initial diagnosis,
104 00:05:19 I didn't want any treatment.
105 00:05:21 Well, I'm gladyou changed your mind.
106 00:05:23 'Cause, you know,just the thought...
107 00:05:26 And that I wouldn't know...
108 00:05:28 Anyway, I realizedthat I really...
109 00:05:31 I'm not ready to abandonthe party just yet.
110 00:05:35 But I had truly gottenused to the idea.
111 00:05:39 Well, I suppose that it's goodto get used to the idea,
112 00:05:42 but without giving up, right?
113 00:05:45 You've been througha lot of wars, remember?
114 00:05:47 I live with them every day.
115 00:05:52 Oh, Ingrid,I'm so happy to see you.
116 00:05:55 I almost called youa thousand times.
117 00:05:58 - I'm sorry.- Me, too!
118 00:05:59 It's ridiculous thatwe haven't seen each other.
119 00:06:01 I promise I'm gonna visituntil you get sick of me.
120 00:06:03 Will you?
121 00:06:05 You promise?
122 00:06:06 I'm gonna hold you to that.
123 00:06:08 Your daughter knows, I guess.
124 00:06:11 Yes.
125 00:06:13 When I first made up my mindto forgo any treatment,
126 00:06:17 I told her...
127 00:06:20 and she just said...
128 00:06:22 "It's your choice."
129 00:06:24 Period.
130 00:06:26 As if it was something trivial,
131 00:06:29 something that hadnothing to do with her.
132 00:06:32 How are you two getting along?
133 00:06:34 Um, same as ever.
134 00:06:36 We're barely in touch.
135 00:06:38 What does she do?
136 00:06:39 She's doing well.
137 00:06:41 She's, uh, an agentfor classical musicians.
138 00:06:47 It might sound horrible,
139 00:06:50 but I don't feel likeshe's my daughter.
140 00:06:55 I fantasize frequently abouther being swapped at birth.
141 00:06:58 What?
142 00:07:00 What are you talking about?She looks just like you.
143 00:07:03 She has your face.
144 00:07:05 I never interested heras a mother.
145 00:07:09 Why not?
146 00:07:11 I was a teenagerwhen I had her.
147 00:07:14 I didn't know what to dowith a baby.
148 00:07:18 And when we started working atPaper Magazine, you remember?
149 00:07:21 We practically lived at night.
150 00:07:23 You remember New Yorkin the '80s?
151 00:07:25 Yeah.
152 00:07:27 Anything importanthappened at night.
153 00:07:32 And then I went to workas a war correspondent,
154 00:07:36 traveling constantly.
155 00:07:38 And that didn't help.
156 00:07:40 My work just completelytook over.
157 00:07:46 I was never what a motheris supposed to be.
158 00:07:52 But Michelle started to hate me
159 00:07:55 long before I was away so much.
160 00:08:00 I remember feelingher resentment
161 00:08:01 even when she wasa little girl.
162 00:08:06 She made herself very clear.
163 00:08:13 She couldn't bear...not having a father.
164 00:08:19 She saw other girlswith their fathers
165 00:08:22 and she wanted to knowabout hers.
166 00:08:27 At first, I told her I didn'tknow who he was, but...
167 00:08:31 [sighs]
168 00:08:33 ...it kind ofmade things worse.
169 00:08:37 I was lying to her.
170 00:08:38 - [laughs]- [lively chatter]
171 00:08:40 [Martha] Of course I knewwho her father was.
172 00:08:42 His name was Fred.
173 00:08:48 [shouts]
174 00:08:50 [Martha] We datedfor a few months
175 00:08:51 before he was drafted.
176 00:08:53 And then went away to fight,towards the end of Vietnam.
177 00:08:58 When he came back,a year later, he was...
178 00:09:02 somebody different.
179 00:09:04 Fred! What happened?
180 00:09:06 He was a broken toy.
181 00:09:10 Hey. Hey, it's okay.
182 00:09:12 I'm here.It's all over now, Fred.
183 00:09:14 You're back home.
184 00:09:16 But it's not over for me.
185 00:09:20 I still got the warinside my head.
186 00:09:24 I can't get free of it.
187 00:09:28 I hallucinate every single day.
188 00:09:33 And I was highpractically all the time.
189 00:09:40 I don't know what I'm doingwith my life,
190 00:09:43 but I'm not staying here.
191 00:09:50 It's all right.
192 00:09:52 Feel free to do what you like.
193 00:09:55 Think aboutwhat's best for you.
194 00:10:01 Okay.
195 00:10:04 Thanks.
196 00:10:11 Can I kiss you?
197 00:10:41 - Does Michelle know this?- Oh.
198 00:10:45 She started askingabout her father
199 00:10:47 as soon as she could talk.
200 00:10:52 But it's not something you canexplain to a child, right?
201 00:10:57 By puberty, she carved outquite an abyss between us.
202 00:11:01 It came to defineher adolescence.
203 00:11:05 But, by then,I was no longer there.
204 00:11:08 I was in New York, with you,living my life.
205 00:11:14 I arranged to meet Fredone evening
206 00:11:16 to tell him aboutthe situation.
207 00:11:18 So, I took a first aid course
208 00:11:21 and, because I'm a war veteran,they've hired me at a hospital,
209 00:11:24 down in San Diego.
210 00:11:28 It's good news, right?
211 00:11:31 I have some news for you too.
212 00:11:34 I'm pregnant.
213 00:11:37 - You're pregnant?- Yes.
214 00:11:42 But I was planning on movingto San Diego next week.
215 00:11:47 Then what are we gonna do?
216 00:11:49 Whatever I do, my parentswill support me, so...
217 00:11:52 I'm not alone.
218 00:11:55 Mm.
219 00:11:59 I don't thinkworking in a hospital
220 00:12:01 was the best thingfor such a damaged person.
221 00:12:04 It's the closest thing to war.
222 00:12:06 He needed therapy and rehab.
223 00:12:08 Yeah, that would have beenmore sensible,
224 00:12:12 but he wanted to be useful,
225 00:12:15 to ease his conscience.
226 00:12:17 He believed that helping peoplebetween life and death...
227 00:12:21 was his best chanceof getting back any peace.
228 00:12:27 I could only free himof any responsibility.
229 00:12:31 He left beforeMichelle was born.
230 00:12:34 He never knew her.
231 00:12:35 [breathing heavily]
232 00:12:38 He didn't call onceto ask about her.
233 00:12:43 When did you tell her?
234 00:12:45 She was about 12.
235 00:12:48 She wanted to knowwhere he was living...
236 00:12:52 and I didn't know anymore.
237 00:12:55 She was so insistent...
238 00:12:58 that I tracked downan old friend of his
239 00:13:00 from high school,
240 00:13:03 who told me that Fredhad gotten married
241 00:13:07 and had recently died.
242 00:13:11 I asked himfor his wife's number...
243 00:13:16 and then I called her.
244 00:13:18 I wanted to knowwhat had happened.
245 00:13:21 She told me they werecoming home after a trip.
246 00:13:29 Is that smoke?
247 00:13:31 [wife] Yes.
248 00:13:33 Something's on fire.
249 00:13:36 There's a house on fire.
250 00:13:40 We should callthe fire department.
251 00:13:42 - [tinnitus ringing]- [gunfire echoing]
252 00:13:44 [screamingand explosion echoing]
253 00:13:48 - Stop the car.- Fred...
254 00:13:53 [tires screech]
255 00:13:57 [wife] What are you doing?
256 00:13:59 - I'm gonna take a look.- No!
257 00:14:01 That's crazy! Fred!
258 00:14:03 - There might be someone inside.- Fred, stop! Stop!
259 00:14:05 Don't go in. It's dangerous!Look at me, I'm here.
260 00:14:09 Let's find a gas station
261 00:14:10 and callthe fire department, please.
262 00:14:11 Don't you hear the screams?
263 00:14:13 No, I don't hear anything.
264 00:14:15 [panting]
265 00:14:17 Fred, please! Fred! Fred!
266 00:14:21 Fred, don't go in there!
267 00:14:22 [groans]
268 00:14:25 Don't you hear the screams?
269 00:14:27 There's someone insidecrying for help!
270 00:14:31 Fred!
271 00:14:40 [panting]
272 00:14:41 [firetruck horn blaring]
273 00:14:44 Sir! Sir!
274 00:14:46 Please, help me!
275 00:14:48 - Sir! Sir, please!- Let's go!
276 00:14:50 - Please, my husband's inside!- Ladder up!
277 00:14:53 Sir! My husband's inside!
278 00:14:54 My husband's inside!
279 00:14:56 He thought he heardvoices crying for help.
280 00:14:57 Put two lineson the back side, guys!
281 00:14:59 He went into the housetrying to save
282 00:15:00 whoever was trappedby the fire.
283 00:15:02 Okay, get back in your car.Do not go over there.
284 00:15:03 I will stay here. Okay.
285 00:15:04 Please, ma'am.Is there someone else?
286 00:15:06 - No, I don't know!- Ladder up, guys! Ladder!
287 00:15:07 There's a civilian inside!
288 00:15:09 Get back in your car,ma'am, please.
289 00:15:10 [busy chatter]
290 00:15:12 [chief] All right,get in there!
291 00:15:13 Get in that top window.
292 00:15:15 There you go.It's gonna blow out.
293 00:15:21 Good boys.
294 00:15:24 [indistinct policeradio chatter]
295 00:15:31 I'm sorry, there was nothingwe could do.
296 00:15:33 [panting]
297 00:15:36 He didn't getto the second floor.
298 00:15:39 He must have passed outfrom the smoke and the flames.
299 00:15:41 And the other bodies?
300 00:15:43 There was nobody else.
301 00:15:44 This house has been abandonedfor a long time.
302 00:15:46 There was only your husband.
303 00:15:47 But he...
304 00:15:50 he told me he heardscreams for help...
305 00:15:52 Impossible, ma'am.
306 00:15:55 There was no one else.
307 00:15:57 It's true.
308 00:16:00 I didn't hearthe screams either.
309 00:16:04 I tried to stop himfrom going in, but...
310 00:16:07 [sobbing]
311 00:16:08 I didn't.
312 00:16:09 He was very brave.
313 00:16:12 Did you tellMichelle all of this?
314 00:16:13 I had to give her every detail.
315 00:16:16 I even gave her her father'swife's phone number.
316 00:16:19 You know what?
317 00:16:21 Let's get you back to bed.You're tired.
318 00:16:23 Yeah, but I haveto tell you this.
319 00:16:24 We can...We can talk more later.
320 00:16:27 So, one day...
321 00:16:32 - I got a call from Fred's wife.- Okay.
322 00:16:35 And she told me
323 00:16:36 - that she wanted an address.- Mm-hmm.
324 00:16:39 She wanted tosend me something.
325 00:16:40 [Ingrid] Mm-hm.
326 00:16:42 And, shortly after,
327 00:16:44 I received a notein the mail and a letter...
328 00:16:49 that the wife receivedfrom Michelle,
329 00:16:52 introducing herself
330 00:16:54 and saying that it was her,
331 00:16:57 Fred's daughter,
332 00:16:58 who had beenin the burning house.
333 00:17:02 "It was me he tried to save."
334 00:17:05 "It was me for whom he died..."
335 00:17:10 that's what Michellesaid to the wife.
336 00:17:12 That's insane!
337 00:17:14 Yes.
338 00:17:19 [cell phone ringtone playing]
339 00:17:23 Hi!
340 00:17:25 [Martha over phone]It's Martha, the nuisance.
341 00:17:26 [chuckles] You're nota nuisance.
342 00:17:28 How're you feeling?
343 00:17:30 Fine. I'm at home.
344 00:17:31 The hospital's given mea few days off
345 00:17:34 between treatments,so I'm at home.
346 00:17:35 I'd love for you to come over.
347 00:17:37 Ooh, you've caught mein the middle of moving.
348 00:17:40 Oh, then you'rereally busy, right?
349 00:17:43 Um, well, you knowwhat moving's like.
350 00:17:46 But, um, if you're feelinglonely, I could stop by,
351 00:17:51 we could take a walkin the park.
352 00:17:52 I might not be quite upfor a walk.
353 00:17:55 Um, okay, you know what?Let me, um...
354 00:17:58 Let me finish what I'm doingand I'll be right over.
355 00:18:02 Thanks, sweetheart,but don't feel obliged.
356 00:18:23 [doorbell dings]
357 00:18:29 - These are for you.- You are a darling.
358 00:18:33 And I've brought youa couple of books.
359 00:18:34 Oh! Thank you.
360 00:18:36 You want something to drink?
361 00:18:37 Oh. I'd love some tea.
362 00:18:40 - Herbal tea if you have it.- Sure.
363 00:18:42 - I'll put these in a vase.- Okay.
364 00:18:45 And all of this is for you.
365 00:18:48 You have to finish all of it.
366 00:18:49 Wow! Well, I will do my best.
367 00:18:52 I love fruit.
368 00:18:53 [Martha and Ingrid laugh]
369 00:18:57 Are you workingon something new?
370 00:18:59 Um, yeah, actually I am.
371 00:19:01 I'm doing researchon the painter Dora Carrington
372 00:19:04 and her, um... Mm...
373 00:19:06 ...intense relationship withthe writer Lytton Strachey.
374 00:19:09 - Mm-hm.- Here he is.
375 00:19:11 Uh, Strachey was gay,
376 00:19:13 so she married the straight manthat he was infatuated with.
377 00:19:18 It's gonna bethe story of the trio.
378 00:19:20 It isn't groundbreaking,
379 00:19:22 but I want to seewhere it takes me.
380 00:19:24 Here, um, look.
381 00:19:25 Um, unfortunately for her,
382 00:19:27 there was anothermore famous painter...
383 00:19:29 - Leonora Carrington. Yeah.- Yes,
384 00:19:31 the surrealistLeonora Carrington,
385 00:19:32 whose name was obviouslyvery similar to hers.
386 00:19:36 [Ingrid] Um...
387 00:19:37 Dora...
388 00:19:39 was better known for this
389 00:19:41 bizarre love storywith Strachey.
390 00:19:46 She devoted 17 yearsof her life to him.
391 00:19:49 - Wow.- Mm.
392 00:19:50 It'll be a fictionalizedbiography, so...
393 00:19:53 I'll make some stuff up, too.
394 00:19:56 I've never been ableto allow myself that.
395 00:20:00 Mm. Well, I hope not.
396 00:20:03 You're a war reporter.
397 00:20:05 Yeah, you have to...
398 00:20:07 You know,you can't show your emotions.
399 00:20:09 You have to block them outso you can do your job
400 00:20:13 and stay in the presentin the middle of whatever hell.
401 00:20:15 Maybe I should write about youand not Carrington.
402 00:20:18 I don't think you'd enjoy
403 00:20:19 writing aboutillnesses and treatments.
404 00:20:21 - Mm. You're wrong.- I'm just a journalist,
405 00:20:24 addicted to warsand adrenaline.
406 00:20:27 You think that's nothing?
407 00:20:30 It wasn't all tragedy.
408 00:20:32 You know, life went on.
409 00:20:35 There was one reportwhen I added a bit of fiction.
410 00:20:39 Really?
411 00:20:41 Actually, I never published it.
412 00:20:45 It was during the war in Iraq.
413 00:20:47 On the last day,before we left Baghdad.
414 00:20:50 Are you surethis is the right way?
415 00:20:52 Yeah, just make a left herein this alley.
416 00:20:56 Let's make this brief.
417 00:21:01 Here. Stop here.
418 00:21:02 [brakes screech]
419 00:21:09 [speaking Spanish]
420 00:21:12 Martin, what are you doinghere in Baghdad?
421 00:21:17 You look great. You really do.
422 00:21:19 Thank you.
423 00:21:20 Yeah, I'm sorry. Paco, Martin.
424 00:21:22 He's a Carmelite, like me.
425 00:21:23 Pleasure. Let me introduce youto Martha.
426 00:21:25 She is a brilliant journalistfrom The New York Times.
427 00:21:27 [speaking Spanish]
428 00:21:29 They are the Carmelites
429 00:21:30 I was telling you about.
430 00:21:31 It's a pleasureto meet you both.
431 00:21:33 Are you intendingto stay in Baghdad?
432 00:21:35 Yes, here we are.
433 00:21:36 But you're alone.
434 00:21:38 All the NGOs and the Red Crosshave left already.
435 00:21:41 I know.
436 00:21:42 The situation isout of control.
437 00:21:44 It's very dangerous.
438 00:21:45 You're here as well.
439 00:21:47 Yeah, but we'rejust passing through.
440 00:21:48 We're leaving as soon aswe finish talking to you.
441 00:21:50 We can't let them down now,
442 00:21:52 this is when the peopleneed us most.
443 00:21:54 That's true, but it's stillextremely dangerous.
444 00:21:59 But then you know that.
445 00:22:01 We can'tlet them down now, señora.
446 00:22:05 Do you mindif we take a photo of you
447 00:22:06 and how the missionhas been left?
448 00:22:08 [speaking Spanish]
449 00:22:09 Okay.
450 00:22:11 You can photographthe mission and me,
451 00:22:13 but he doesn't want to riskhis family in Spain seeing him.
452 00:22:17 - They'd worry.- Yeah, of course.
453 00:22:18 Totally understand,but if we could get one of you,
454 00:22:20 that would be great.
455 00:22:21 - [Bernardo] Okay.- Sure.
456 00:22:23 [mechanical whirringin distance]
457 00:22:24 - [Bernardo] Here?- [Martin] Yeah.
458 00:22:26 Just perhapsa little tiny step closer...
459 00:22:28 Yeah, that's fine,so that I can see the impacts.
460 00:22:30 [camera shutter clicking]
461 00:22:33 [laughs]
462 00:22:36 I think you have it.
463 00:22:40 How long has it been...
464 00:22:42 since we last saw each other?
465 00:22:43 Five years.
466 00:22:45 Five years.
467 00:22:47 Wow.
468 00:22:49 Do you remember Liberia?
469 00:22:51 How could I forget?
470 00:22:55 Look, I have some photos of youthat we didn't publish.
471 00:22:59 If you give me an address,I can send them to you.
472 00:23:01 Maybe to the Embassy.
473 00:23:02 No, you keep them.
474 00:23:03 That way I'll keep you company.
475 00:23:06 Okay.
476 00:23:10 It was really great seeing you.
477 00:23:12 Take care.
478 00:23:13 - Goodbye.- Be safe.
479 00:23:19 How do you know the Carmelite?
480 00:23:24 We met in Sierra Leone.
481 00:23:27 We became lovers there.
482 00:23:29 - Oh, really?- Yeah.
483 00:23:32 After that, we met more times.
484 00:23:34 Always in placesthat were at war.
485 00:23:37 And you had sex?
486 00:23:38 Well, of course, yeah.
487 00:23:40 Bernardo never renouncedphysical pleasure.
488 00:23:44 He was always inthe most conflictive places.
489 00:23:47 And I think that sexwas his best shield.
490 00:23:52 I'm pretty surethe Carmelite is his partner.
491 00:23:54 You think so?
492 00:23:55 Definitely.
493 00:23:58 That is the only wayyou can stay in Baghdad
494 00:23:59 and not be afraid of the war.
495 00:24:02 - What a wonderful story.- Yup.
496 00:24:06 Don't you dare write it.
497 00:24:07 No, no, no, of course not.
498 00:24:12 But how about sin for him?
499 00:24:15 I mean, don't they feel guilty?
500 00:24:16 After all, they are Catholic.
501 00:24:18 Yeah, I don't know.He never talked about that.
502 00:24:22 With all the horrorsyou see in war,
503 00:24:25 feeling guilty about having sex
504 00:24:27 doesn't reallycarry much weight,
505 00:24:29 you simply get used to it.
506 00:24:31 I know that.
507 00:24:36 I wrote their story,
508 00:24:37 their love story,as I imagined it,
509 00:24:41 but it stayed in my computer.
510 00:24:45 So, you're gonna write aboutDora Carrington's insane love.
511 00:24:49 [Ingrid] Mm-hm.
512 00:24:51 And her connectionto Virginia Woolf,
513 00:24:52 who Stracheyalso pursued romantically.
514 00:24:55 [Martha] What a group!
515 00:24:57 I so admire their freedom.
516 00:24:59 [Ingrid] Strachey diedof stomach cancer
517 00:25:01 18 years after meeting Dora
518 00:25:03 and Dora survived himby barely two months
519 00:25:06 before she shot herselfin the stomach.
520 00:25:08 She was only 38.
521 00:25:11 I'm struck by the symmetryof that kind of gesture,
522 00:25:14 his stomach cancer
523 00:25:16 and her shooting herselfin the stomach.
524 00:25:18 I know, it struck me, too.
525 00:25:20 I wonder what Virginia Woolfthought of Carrington's death?
526 00:25:24 Maybe Virginia saw...
527 00:25:27 a kind of warning,
528 00:25:28 a mirror that reflected her?
529 00:25:31 As if they were fated?
530 00:25:35 Do you think I'm fated, too?
531 00:25:37 No! Of course not.
532 00:25:40 I've never known anyonemore alive than you.
533 00:25:42 This week I'm startinga new experimental
534 00:25:45 - immunotherapy treatment.- Uh-huh.
535 00:25:47 They've already tried it
536 00:25:49 and it seems to work wellwith cases of cervical cancer.
537 00:25:51 - Well, that's great news!- Yeah.
538 00:25:54 Let me knowwhen I can come and visit you,
539 00:25:55 - okay?- I will.
540 00:25:59 - Talking of symmetry...- Mm-hmm?
541 00:26:01 Do you remember...
542 00:26:03 Damian Cunningham?
543 00:26:06 How could I forget?
544 00:26:07 I inherited himfrom you. [laughs]
545 00:26:10 The shared lover.
546 00:26:12 - Well, I...- I have to say
547 00:26:13 I felt terriblewhen you got together
548 00:26:15 after I'd been with him.
549 00:26:17 Okay, we didn'tshare him exactly
550 00:26:18 because you'd already broken up
551 00:26:20 and you wereout of the country.
552 00:26:21 I would never go back with him
553 00:26:22 and, to tell the truth,I was never faithful.
554 00:26:25 But he was a passionateand enthusiastic lover
555 00:26:30 and I hope he was for you, too.
556 00:26:32 I had no complaints.
557 00:26:33 [both laughing]
558 00:26:37 [people speaking indistinctly]
559 00:26:49 Hi.
560 00:26:53 What is it?
561 00:26:56 It hasn't worked.
562 00:26:58 I've got metastases in my liver
563 00:27:00 - and in my bones.- Oh, Martha.
564 00:27:02 I should have followedmy first instinct.
565 00:27:04 Should never have put myselfthrough this torture.
566 00:27:07 This diarrhea,vomiting, fatigue...
567 00:27:09 to end up like this.
568 00:27:11 I should never have given into false hope.
569 00:27:14 Okay. Okay.
570 00:27:15 All right,what does the doctor say?
571 00:27:17 Tell me.
572 00:27:18 Oh, that I couldlive for months,
573 00:27:21 maybe a year.
574 00:27:23 He wants me to continuewith the treatment,
575 00:27:25 even though it looks hopeless.
576 00:27:27 Maybe it will work this time.
577 00:27:28 I don't wanna wallowin self-pity.
578 00:27:36 But I'm not a stoic. I'm sorry.
579 00:27:39 I don't wanna go throughexcruciating pain.
580 00:27:43 You can't be self-possessedif you're in agony.
581 00:27:47 You can't think straight.
582 00:27:49 You can only thinkof one thing...
583 00:27:51 the fucking cancer.
584 00:27:53 [sighs]
585 00:27:55 I've always taken careof my health,
586 00:27:57 now I regret it.
587 00:27:59 The doctor saysI have a strong heart.
588 00:28:01 What does that mean?
589 00:28:03 My body is justgonna go on fighting...
590 00:28:05 while I suffer and sufferuntil my last breath?
591 00:28:08 [sobs]
592 00:28:09 I don't know.
593 00:28:12 I don't know how to help you.
594 00:28:15 I'm so sorry.
595 00:28:21 I think I deserve a good death.
596 00:28:26 At least one withoutconvulsions in my last moments.
597 00:28:30 Going out witha little bit of dignity,
598 00:28:32 clean and dry.
599 00:28:36 But I knowI'm asking too much...
600 00:28:38 [door opens]
601 00:28:39 [nurse] What are youdoing up, Martha?
602 00:28:40 I'm fucking over this.
603 00:28:42 - Can you help her, please?- Of course.
604 00:28:44 Let's get you back in bed.
605 00:28:45 [Ingrid] Come on.Let me help you.
606 00:28:49 Bring it on.
607 00:28:50 Here we go.
608 00:28:54 I'll end upturning into a junkie.
609 00:28:56 [sighs]
610 00:28:58 I am one already, I guess.
611 00:29:00 It's okay. Really.
612 00:29:03 [nurse] Here, this will help.
613 00:29:43 Are you still here?
614 00:29:46 Yes.
615 00:29:50 Should I ask themto bring your dinner?
616 00:29:53 Are you hungry?
617 00:29:55 No.
618 00:29:59 Ingrid...
619 00:30:03 Do you thinkI need to say goodbye
620 00:30:05 to my closest friends?
621 00:30:07 I think you should dowhatever you wanna do.
622 00:30:10 I just want peace and quiet.
623 00:30:15 Have you thought abouthow you wanna spend your time?
624 00:30:20 And where?
625 00:30:22 Is there some placeyou'd like to go?
626 00:30:25 Look.
627 00:30:31 Pink snowflakes.
628 00:30:35 There had to be something goodabout climate change.
629 00:30:40 Well...
630 00:30:43 I've lived to see that.
631 00:30:50 You remember the endof Joyce's The Dead?
632 00:30:53 [sniffles, voice breaks]Vaguely.
633 00:30:56 "The snow was falling,
634 00:30:59 falling onthe lonely churchyard,
635 00:31:03 falling faintlythrough the universe.
636 00:31:08 And faintly falling,
637 00:31:11 like the descentof their last end,
638 00:31:16 on allthe living and the dead."
639 00:31:25 [gulps]
640 00:31:26 It's getting late and, uh...
641 00:31:28 I should be going.
642 00:31:32 [Ingrid sniffles]
643 00:31:37 Thank you.
644 00:31:40 I'll see you tomorrow.
645 00:31:43 [kisses]
646 00:32:29 There's still a half an hourbefore the movie starts.
647 00:32:31 Should we go in and getour seats before the rush?
648 00:32:34 No. I wanna talk to youabout something.
649 00:32:37 Okay.
650 00:32:38 I will not go outin mortifying anguish.
651 00:32:41 I've gotten holdof a euthanasia pill.
652 00:32:43 Don't ask me how,
653 00:32:45 on the dark webyou can find almost anything.
654 00:32:47 I also havean abundance of opioids
655 00:32:50 for the moments of pain.
656 00:32:51 And don't look at me like that,
657 00:32:52 I'm not asking youto convince me otherwise.
658 00:32:55 I don't know what to say.
659 00:32:58 I'm hoping you'll say yes.
660 00:33:00 Yes to what?
661 00:33:02 To my asking you to help me.
662 00:33:04 Help you what?
663 00:33:07 I've faced death several times,
664 00:33:09 but I've alwaysbeen accompanied.
665 00:33:12 We reporters formeda kind of mobile family.
666 00:33:17 This is another war,
667 00:33:19 I'm not afraid of it.
668 00:33:21 But...
669 00:33:23 like the other timesI faced death...
670 00:33:27 I don't wanna be alone, Ingrid.
671 00:33:31 I'm asking you...
672 00:33:33 to be in the next room.
673 00:33:37 I think we shouldgo get our seats.
674 00:33:39 Yeah, sure, but I preferto go on talking to you,
675 00:33:41 if you don't mind.
676 00:33:45 Okay. Um...
677 00:33:49 Do you know whenyou wanna do this?
678 00:33:51 Not exactly.
679 00:33:53 Within a month?
680 00:33:56 Before I start to deteriorateand you don't recognize me.
681 00:34:00 These next weeksI should be reasonably well,
682 00:34:04 but I wanna do it soon.
683 00:34:06 My doctors think thatI'm gonna return
684 00:34:08 to complete the treatment.
685 00:34:11 It's best they don'tsuspect anything.
686 00:34:14 Where do you wanna do it?
687 00:34:16 I don't wanna be at home.
688 00:34:19 And I don't wanna go backto anywhere I've been happy.
689 00:34:25 It's always a mistaketo return to some place
690 00:34:27 you've been truly happy.
691 00:34:29 You just ruin the good memoriesof the first time.
692 00:34:31 No, I understand that.
693 00:34:33 I think it will be easierfor me to let myself go
694 00:34:36 if I'm not surroundedby familiar things,
695 00:34:41 intimate things.
696 00:34:43 I think that wouldhold me back.
697 00:34:47 I prefer some unknown place,
698 00:34:51 comfortable and safe,
699 00:34:54 and not too far away.
700 00:34:57 Do you need my helpfinding a place
701 00:34:59 or getting you settled in?
702 00:35:01 No, no, no.
703 00:35:03 No, I cantake care of that part.
704 00:35:07 What I need is somebodyto be there with me,
705 00:35:11 in the room next door.
706 00:35:15 Wouldn't you prefersomeone you're closer to?
707 00:35:17 We're very close.
708 00:35:18 No, yes, of course,of course we are.
709 00:35:20 [stammers] Oh, my God,we're very close. I just...
710 00:35:23 There were years wherewe didn't see each other.
711 00:35:25 [sharp inhale]
712 00:35:26 What about Stella?
713 00:35:27 [stammering] Or Maggie?
714 00:35:29 Or Vanessa?
715 00:35:30 You've all been friendssince you were kids.
716 00:35:32 I admit I thoughtof them first.
717 00:35:35 I asked all three of them.
718 00:35:37 They all were horrifiedand they all said no.
719 00:35:42 They understood it,
720 00:35:43 but they saidthey could never be a part
721 00:35:45 of helping me take my own life.
722 00:35:47 Absolutely not.
723 00:35:49 - What about your daughter?- It wouldn't be fair to her.
724 00:35:53 I've been an absent mother.
725 00:35:55 I don't wanna imposemy dying on her.
726 00:35:57 You could at least consult herand let her be a part of it.
727 00:36:01 We're two strangers, Ingrid.
728 00:36:04 She made that clearwhen I told her
729 00:36:06 about my doubtsabout the treatment.
730 00:36:09 "It's your choice" she said.
731 00:36:13 And she's right.
732 00:36:14 Right.
733 00:36:27 - [horns blaring]- [wind whooshing]
734 00:36:33 [breathing heavily]
735 00:36:42 No matter what,
736 00:36:44 people want youto keep fighting.
737 00:36:48 This is the way we'vebeen taught to see cancer.
738 00:36:52 As a fight...between patient and disease,
739 00:36:57 which is to saybetween good and evil.
740 00:37:01 If you survive, you're a hero.
741 00:37:04 If you lose, well,
742 00:37:07 perhaps you didn'tfight hard enough.
743 00:37:12 People don't likeusing words like
744 00:37:14 "terminal" or "incurable."
745 00:37:17 They call that defeatist talk.
746 00:37:19 Some of the worst stuffcomes from
747 00:37:21 the cancer support community.
748 00:37:24 Some of them thinkof your cancer as a gift,
749 00:37:27 an opportunityfor spiritual growth.
750 00:37:30 Bullshit!
751 00:37:32 People should seethis is my way of fighting.
752 00:37:37 Cancer can't get meif I get me first.
753 00:37:43 And what's the pointin waiting...
754 00:37:46 when I'm so ready to go?
755 00:37:50 Are you completely sureyou're ready?
756 00:37:52 Totally.
757 00:37:54 Since the first diagnosis.
758 00:37:58 You know I havea terrible fear of death.
759 00:38:00 I know.
760 00:38:02 I've read your book.
761 00:38:03 That's whyI didn't ask you first.
762 00:38:07 But you understand me,don't you?
763 00:38:09 I do, I do. I envy you.
764 00:38:11 You're in control of your life.
765 00:38:12 I only need you to accompany methe days leading to it,
766 00:38:16 as if we were on vacation.
767 00:38:18 I just wanna know that,when it happens,
768 00:38:21 there'll be someonein the next room.
769 00:38:23 It terrifies me, Martha.
770 00:38:25 I understand.
771 00:38:26 I think that you haveevery right to do this
772 00:38:28 and I admire you for it,
773 00:38:30 but I don't know that I can bethe one to find you dead.
774 00:38:32 I'm not that strong.
775 00:38:33 You're much strongerthan you think you are.
776 00:38:37 Anyway, I had to try.
777 00:38:42 [Ingrid sighs]
778 00:38:44 I can't answer you now, Martha,
779 00:38:45 but I promise youI'll think about it.
780 00:38:47 Right now I'm too confusedand too terrified.
781 00:38:50 I understand.
782 00:38:51 I understand it's sudden...
783 00:38:55 and it's disconcerting.
784 00:39:01 I'll think of someone.
785 00:39:13 - I wasn't too much?- No, no.
786 00:39:51 [line ringing]
787 00:39:56 - Martha?- [Martha] Hello, Ingrid.
788 00:39:58 I've made up my mind.
789 00:40:03 Come on in.
790 00:40:05 The owner isa jewelry designer.
791 00:40:07 She's a friend of mine,so I don't pay much rent.
792 00:40:10 [Damian] Mmm.
793 00:40:12 You get the impressionit's been furnished
794 00:40:14 with stuff from the garbage.
795 00:40:16 Not everything.
796 00:40:18 And it takes talentto pick stuff
797 00:40:21 You haven't finished moving in.
798 00:40:24 - Do you want a hand?- Uh...
799 00:40:27 No. [sighs]
800 00:40:30 I'll do it after.
801 00:40:33 And even so,you're going with Martha.
802 00:40:36 [sighs] She is totallyalone, Damian.
803 00:40:40 None of her friendsare helping her with this.
804 00:40:43 She even told meI wasn't her first choice.
805 00:40:46 It's like her daughterdoesn't even exist.
806 00:40:48 In the years I was with her,
807 00:40:50 she never told meshe had a daughter.
808 00:40:51 I know, it's a...
809 00:40:53 It's a sad story.
810 00:40:55 It's a terrible,terrible misunderstanding.
811 00:41:01 Have you told herthat we're in touch?
812 00:41:03 Uh... No.
813 00:41:06 Um, we talked about youin a... in a general way.
814 00:41:08 - She has nice memories of you.- Oh. Really?
815 00:41:11 Our relationshipwas mostly physical.
816 00:41:14 She was always aboutto go off somewhere else,
817 00:41:17 that's why our lovemakinghad that sense of urgency.
818 00:41:21 It was like having sexwith a terrorist...
819 00:41:24 it always feltlike the last time.
820 00:41:25 Well, she rates youpretty highly as a lover.
821 00:41:28 I'd like to knowwhat rating you give me.
822 00:41:29 Oh, I can't believeyou're still flirting with me.
823 00:41:32 - I'm serious.- No, no, you're not serious.
824 00:41:34 What's seriousis Martha's situation.
825 00:41:37 And your being terrifiedof death?
826 00:41:39 You just publisheda book about that.
827 00:41:41 Have you overcome that,thanks to the book?
828 00:41:44 - No.- [cell phone ringing]
829 00:41:54 Hi. How are you?
830 00:41:57 Better.
831 00:41:58 Much better since you said yes.
832 00:42:01 Where are you? Are you at home?
833 00:42:03 Yeah.
834 00:42:04 I'm watering the plants.
835 00:42:06 Oh, I thought you had someonewho did that for you.
836 00:42:08 I do.
837 00:42:10 But today I felt like doing itand I am enjoying it.
838 00:42:13 [chuckles] Okay. Good.
839 00:42:15 Um, have you... Have youdecided where we're going?
840 00:42:19 That's why I called.
841 00:42:22 It's, uh, near Woodstock,
842 00:42:23 it's about two hoursfrom the city.
843 00:42:25 It looks fantastic.
844 00:42:27 Uh, it's a bit expensive,but, hey,
845 00:42:30 the occasioncalls for it. [laughs]
846 00:42:33 So, do you know how long...
847 00:42:36 I've rented it for a month.
848 00:42:37 That should give memore than enough time.
849 00:42:40 A month?
850 00:42:41 Yeah. My blood count's low
851 00:42:43 and I have to take a break
852 00:42:45 before I startthe new treatment,
853 00:42:47 and you're the only onewho knows
854 00:42:48 I'm not going backto the hospital.
855 00:42:50 It's not likeI've picked a date.
856 00:42:53 I mean, you'll neverknow it anyway.
857 00:42:57 But... I'm ready to go.
858 00:43:01 I would even say I'm impatient.
859 00:43:03 I'm gonna be giving a lecture
860 00:43:05 near Woodstock at Bardin two weeks,
861 00:43:07 so we can see each other.
862 00:43:09 Mmm, I don't thinkthat's a good idea,
863 00:43:11 I'll be with Marthaall the time.
864 00:43:13 I'll call you if I can.
865 00:43:15 You're going to need a lawyer.
866 00:43:17 Yes, I should look for one.
867 00:43:19 Let me help you with that,but I'll have to fill them in.
868 00:43:22 No, no, in that case, no.
869 00:43:24 This is an absolute secret.
870 00:43:26 Martha doesn't even knowI've told you.
871 00:43:28 Okay. But if you need anything,you should let me know.
872 00:43:32 I worry about you.
873 00:43:35 Thank you.
874 00:44:19 [birds chirping]
875 00:44:34 According to this map,
876 00:44:36 we go up these stairsto enter the house.
877 00:44:38 Okay.
878 00:45:05 [beeps]
879 00:45:07 [whirring]
880 00:45:09 Look at this.
881 00:45:25 [Martha] Wow,it's so beautiful.
882 00:45:28 It's so much more beautifulthan in the photographs.
883 00:45:35 Is that a real Hopper?
884 00:45:36 I don't think they wouldhave left it here.
885 00:45:39 It's a very good copy.
886 00:45:41 It looks real.
887 00:45:43 [birds chirping]
888 00:45:53 [birds continue chirping]
889 00:46:05 - Do you hear them?- Mm-hmm.
890 00:46:07 Isn't that wonderful?
891 00:46:13 And we can lie in the sun,like in the Hopper,
892 00:46:18 and catch the evening breeze.
893 00:46:21 [breathing heavily]
894 00:46:26 Are you okay?
895 00:46:29 Very happy.
896 00:46:48 Do you mind if I take this one?
897 00:46:50 Of course not. It's your house.
898 00:46:56 Mmm. This oneis a little small,
899 00:46:58 I'm gonna look downstairs.
900 00:46:59 [Martha] All right.
901 00:47:18 I'm gonna take this one, okay?
902 00:47:21 Very good!
903 00:47:24 You don't mind thatI'm not in the room next door?
904 00:47:27 I can hear you breathe!
905 00:47:30 And yell!
906 00:47:32 [chuckles] Okay!
907 00:47:43 Here we go.
908 00:47:49 Let's get you unpacked.
909 00:47:51 Thank you.
910 00:47:52 I'll unpack it later.
911 00:47:54 You're notmy caretaker, Ingrid.
912 00:47:57 You're my guest.
913 00:47:59 Okay.
914 00:48:00 Um... I'll go unpack my things.
915 00:48:17 - [objects clattering]- [Martha shouts]
916 00:48:20 - Martha?- [Martha shouts]
917 00:48:25 [shouts]
918 00:48:27 What is it, honey?
919 00:48:29 - You won't believe it.- What?
920 00:48:30 I forgot it!
921 00:48:31 [stammers] You forgot what?
922 00:48:33 The pill, the euthanasia pill!
923 00:48:35 I brought all the others!We have to go back.
924 00:48:37 Oh, it's okay, we'll go backfirst thing in the morning.
925 00:48:39 - No, not tomorrow!- Don't worry about it.
926 00:48:40 We have to go now!
927 00:48:42 I just need to be sure
928 00:48:43 that I didn't lose itor misplace it,
929 00:48:46 that I didn't just dream it up.
930 00:48:49 Okay.
931 00:48:55 Buying another pill would beextremely complicated.
932 00:48:59 [sighs softly]
933 00:49:01 I have a friendwho knows a mathematician
934 00:49:04 who found it on the dark web.
935 00:49:07 It's all very sordid,
936 00:49:10 not to mention totally illegal.
937 00:49:15 It's scary...
938 00:49:17 knowing that all that exists
939 00:49:19 just behindour computer screens.
940 00:49:24 I feel like a criminal.
941 00:49:30 I never thoughtI'd be back here again.
942 00:49:33 With that wonderful skyline.
943 00:49:35 Life always surprises you.
944 00:49:37 All right, let's get to work.
945 00:49:39 - Okay.- I'll start in the kitchen.
946 00:49:41 Don't worry, we'll find it.
947 00:49:43 Just, um... Just try to thinkof all the places
948 00:49:44 you usually hide things.
949 00:49:45 This is the first thingI have ever hidden.
950 00:49:47 Really?
951 00:49:49 The only thing I can rememberis I put it in an envelope.
952 00:49:51 Okay. Uh...
953 00:49:53 Why don't I startin your office?
954 00:49:55 - Is that okay? Okay.- Yeah, yeah.
955 00:49:56 Where did I put it?Where did I put it?
956 00:50:17 Oh, my God. [sighs]We're never gonna find it.
957 00:51:34 I found an envelope.
958 00:51:36 That's it!
959 00:51:38 Where did you find it?
960 00:51:39 In your desk.
961 00:51:41 There was key in a drawerand I opened it.
962 00:51:44 How could I have forgotten?
963 00:51:46 I even left the key in it?
964 00:51:48 Well, you meant to take it,at the last minute, you forgot.
965 00:51:50 It's not so weird.
966 00:51:53 Thank you.
967 00:51:55 Such a strange sensation.
968 00:51:59 It's like being hereafter I'm dead.
969 00:52:01 Oh, God, don't say that.
970 00:52:03 It's too soon for you torefer to yourself as a ghost.
971 00:52:07 Let me straighten upbefore we leave.
972 00:52:09 Thank you.
973 00:53:02 [door closes]
974 00:53:05 Forgive me for all this hassle.
975 00:53:08 I'm sorry, really.
976 00:53:09 [sighs] It's okay.
977 00:53:12 What a great placeto return to.
978 00:53:16 Stupid fridge.
979 00:53:18 You need some help?
980 00:53:22 I got it.
981 00:53:30 You know, maybe...
982 00:53:32 leaving the pill behindwas a kind of a sign?
983 00:53:36 Maybe you're not as readyas you think.
984 00:53:41 I told you never to saythat to me.
985 00:53:45 I don't rememberyou telling me that.
986 00:53:49 I think I've saidso many things to you.
987 00:53:53 That's the problemwith chemo brain.
988 00:53:57 My memory keeps failing meand I get distracted so easily.
989 00:54:02 It can continue evenafter the treatment stops
990 00:54:06 and it can go on for years.
991 00:54:09 I'll be spared that, at least.
992 00:54:13 When I write...
993 00:54:16 When I wrote...
994 00:54:19 I had to proofreada thousand times.
995 00:54:22 I can't trust my judgementabout anything anymore.
996 00:54:24 Well...
997 00:54:26 Then why do you trustthis decision?
998 00:54:30 How do you knowit's not chemo brain, too?
999 00:54:34 I've left the pillin the top drawer
1000 00:54:36 of the bedside table.
1001 00:54:38 If I forget,which I don't think I will,
1002 00:54:41 you will remind me.
1003 00:54:43 And I prefer not to talkabout this anymore.
1004 00:54:46 Well, it's my business, too,don't you think?
1005 00:54:53 Sure. Of course.
1006 00:54:57 I'll leave a signed letterfor the police
1007 00:54:59 telling them everything,including the name of the pill
1008 00:55:02 and where I got it.
1009 00:55:04 Your name will notappear anywhere.
1010 00:55:08 All you have to do is to saythat you know nothing.
1011 00:55:12 Don't budge from that.
1012 00:55:15 I don't wanna give youany more information.
1013 00:55:17 The less you know, the better.
1014 00:55:20 And this is important.
1015 00:55:28 I'll sleep with my door open,
1016 00:55:30 and the daythat you find it closed...
1017 00:55:33 is the dayit's already happened.
1018 00:55:36 That's the sign, door closed.
1019 00:55:44 I know it's difficult.
1020 00:55:49 But just thinkwe're on vacation.
1021 00:55:52 You can write,we can come and go...
1022 00:55:56 I don't think I'llbe able to concentrate.
1023 00:56:00 And if I write,
1024 00:56:02 you might show upin it somewhere
1025 00:56:03 and I don't wanna do that.
1026 00:56:04 Yeah. That couldcomplicate your life
1027 00:56:07 if the police investigate.
1028 00:56:09 Well, I'm not gonna do it.
1029 00:56:10 Wait till I'm dead.
1030 00:56:12 Oh, God!
1031 00:56:14 Can you not say,"Wait until I'm dead," please?
1032 00:56:20 I promise.
1033 00:56:24 I'd like to find a gymsomewhere around here
1034 00:56:25 that I can go toa couple of days a week.
1035 00:56:29 I'm the only one who eats
1036 00:56:31 and I don't wantto gain ten pounds
1037 00:56:32 while you waste away.
1038 00:56:33 Oh, give me a chance.
1039 00:56:34 I'll catch up with you.
1040 00:56:39 Look, I'm eating.
1041 00:56:43 [Ingrid] I have practicallyheld death in my hands.
1042 00:56:47 I never imagined it would besomething so light.
1043 00:57:27 Martha?
1044 00:57:29 [water running]
1045 00:57:32 [Martha] Good morning.
1046 00:57:33 Good morning.
1047 00:57:35 I'm making breakfast.
1048 00:57:37 You want some toast?
1049 00:57:38 No, just some coffee.
1050 00:57:40 Help yourself.It's already made.
1051 00:57:42 There's juice, fruit...
1052 00:57:44 whatever you want.
1053 00:57:51 My behavior yesterdaywas unacceptable.
1054 00:57:54 I completely understandthat it drove you crazy.
1055 00:57:59 But in my current state,I can't make any promises.
1056 00:58:03 So, just in case...
1057 00:58:07 I put a medium-range sedativein this drawer.
1058 00:58:10 And if you find me unbearable,
1059 00:58:12 you just have oneand you can relax.
1060 00:58:16 I could haveused that last night.
1061 00:58:17 [laughs] You...
1062 00:58:19 You're one of a kind, Martha.You really... You really are.
1063 00:58:22 [birds chirping]
1064 00:58:24 I've made a listof stuff to buy.
1065 00:58:26 We need a few things.
1066 00:58:29 Is there anythingyou want me to get?
1067 00:58:31 Don't think so.
1068 00:58:34 Do you wanna cometo the store with me?
1069 00:58:37 Maybe another day.
1070 00:58:39 It's so nice here.
1071 00:58:42 I'd like to stayif you don't mind.
1072 00:58:44 No, of course not.
1073 00:58:48 I found a gym nearby, too.
1074 00:58:51 That's great.
1075 00:58:52 I think that'sa very good idea.
1076 00:58:57 Okay, well...
1077 00:59:00 I have my phone with meif you need anything.
1078 00:59:03 Thanks, love.
1079 00:59:11 [sighs]
1080 00:59:20 Hi.
1081 00:59:21 I was hoping I could usethe gym today.
1082 00:59:23 Are you a member?
1083 00:59:24 Uh, no. I'm just in townfor a little bit.
1084 00:59:26 If you use one of ourpersonal trainers,
1085 00:59:27 you don't need to be a member.
1086 00:59:29 Um, okay. I'll useone of your trainers then.
1087 00:59:31 You'll like Jonah, you'll see.
1088 00:59:34 Thanks.
1089 00:59:36 So, would you like to starta warm up doing steps?
1090 00:59:38 - Okay.- Is okay?
1091 00:59:40 Do you think you can do thisfor 30 seconds?
1092 00:59:43 - Um, sure. All right.- Okay, go for it. Have a try.
1093 00:59:46 And we are on. Okay, nice.
1094 00:59:49 - Keep focus on your leg.- Mmm-hmm.
1095 00:59:50 And, if you can,move your arm...
1096 00:59:52 - Okay.- Okay, with each step.
1097 00:59:55 And we are done.
1098 00:59:56 Nice. You're pretty strong,you young lady.
1099 00:59:59 [panting] What I am is winded.
1100 01:00:01 Well, if you want, there areother variations we can do.
1101 01:00:04 [pants]
1102 01:00:05 I mean, you can go trylike this.
1103 01:00:07 You can go back and forth.
1104 01:00:09 Or you can jump on itand go left
1105 01:00:12 and right or backand on the box.
1106 01:00:15 - Okay. Okay.- Have a try one more.
1107 01:00:17 - [panting]- Nice.
1108 01:00:20 - Focus on your core here.- Uh-huh.
1109 01:00:21 And breathe. [breathing deeply]
1110 01:00:24 Inhale and exhale.
1111 01:00:26 - [panting]- [Jonah breathing deeply]
1112 01:00:28 Perfect. One more.
1113 01:00:30 [panting]
1114 01:00:34 Is everything okay?
1115 01:00:35 [panting]
1116 01:00:40 When the body's in great shape,it takes longer to die.
1117 01:00:45 When death comes,
1118 01:00:47 the mind wants to go,but the body keeps fighting.
1119 01:00:50 Heart beating "no"with every beat.
1120 01:00:54 Well...
1121 01:00:55 all the more reasonto look after yourself.
1122 01:00:59 I live with a friendwho's dying.
1123 01:01:00 I'm sorry.
1124 01:01:02 Come. Let's have a seat.
1125 01:01:05 Come here.
1126 01:01:08 [sighs, sniffles]
1127 01:01:10 Is there anythingthat I can do?
1128 01:01:15 [sighs]
1129 01:01:18 I wish I could give you a hug,
1130 01:01:21 but we're not allowedto touch clients anymore
1131 01:01:23 because of the lawsuitsand whatever.
1132 01:01:28 And it's a problem,
1133 01:01:31 because it can be hardto correct people's posture
1134 01:01:33 with just words,
1135 01:01:35 and touching is so important.
1136 01:01:38 This worldis absurd and inhumane.
1137 01:01:40 I don't see it improvingany time soon.
1138 01:01:45 But thank you, I feel hugged.
1139 01:01:47 [chuckles]
1140 01:01:54 Oh, I've been meaningto read this book.
1141 01:01:58 Isn't it a wonderful title?Erotic Vagrancy.
1142 01:02:00 Do you wanna buy it?
1143 01:02:04 I won't have time to finish it.
1144 01:02:12 I like the wayit's laid out here.
1145 01:02:14 [Ingrid] Mmm.
1146 01:02:15 Oh, look.
1147 01:02:17 Martha Gellhorn.
1148 01:02:19 The View from the Ground.
1149 01:02:23 She wrote that you only evertruly love one war,
1150 01:02:28 after that you're justdoing your duty.
1151 01:02:32 Which one was yours?
1152 01:02:35 Bosnia, without a doubt.
1153 01:02:43 The fight to surviveby the Bosnian people
1154 01:02:46 against a perfectlyequipped army...
1155 01:02:49 stole the hearts of all of us
1156 01:02:50 who witnessedthe extermination.
1157 01:02:53 There are very few womenwar correspondents.
1158 01:02:57 War is a man's thing.
1159 01:02:59 You have to sort of becomeone of the guys
1160 01:03:02 and it was nevera problem for me,
1161 01:03:04 I've always lived like a man.
1162 01:03:06 Actually, I thinkwhat Michelle really missed...
1163 01:03:11 was having a maternal figurein her life.
1164 01:03:14 And in this, I must admit
1165 01:03:18 she... she was right.
1166 01:03:20 Don't be so hard on yourself.
1167 01:03:26 Hey, look who's coming to town!
1168 01:03:29 The life of the party!
1169 01:03:31 "How bad can it get?
1170 01:03:33 Navigating urban lifewith integrity."
1171 01:03:35 You feel like going?
1172 01:03:37 No, you know what?I've heard it already
1173 01:03:38 and it's not an eveningI'd like to repeat.
1174 01:03:40 We all have our ownpersonal apocalypses.
1175 01:03:42 Are you havingan awful time with me?
1176 01:03:44 No, no, I meant him,his lecture.
1177 01:03:47 Global crisis, climate change.
1178 01:03:49 Yeah.
1179 01:03:50 Hi.
1180 01:03:51 I love your hair.
1181 01:03:53 Nice.
1182 01:04:05 When the nightmarescome rushing in,
1183 01:04:08 I think aboutall the men I've loved.
1184 01:04:11 [chuckles] Sounds like a song.
1185 01:04:13 [chuckles] A good one.
1186 01:04:14 [both chuckle]
1187 01:04:17 Even if it wasjust for one night.
1188 01:04:20 [sighs] Sometimes I thinkabout Damian.
1189 01:04:28 I still thinksex is the best way
1190 01:04:30 to fend off looming thoughtsof death.
1191 01:04:34 Like those Spanish Carmelites.
1192 01:04:38 Wars turned me intoa promiscuous woman, Ingrid.
1193 01:04:41 Good. [laughs]
1194 01:04:45 Are you stillin touch with him?
1195 01:04:46 - With who?- Damian.
1196 01:04:49 Um...
1197 01:04:51 You know...Um, from time to time.
1198 01:04:55 "How bad can it get?" [scoffs]
1199 01:04:59 Well... [sighs]
1200 01:05:01 much worse than you imagine,Damian, honey.
1201 01:05:08 Hey.
1202 01:05:10 You all right?
1203 01:05:12 I was trying to write.
1204 01:05:15 I can't.
1205 01:05:19 In this war, I'm incapableof writing anything.
1206 01:05:24 What about reading?
1207 01:05:26 You love to read.
1208 01:05:28 I've tried.
1209 01:05:31 I've tried with someof my favorite writers.
1210 01:05:35 The spell just isn'tthere anymore.
1211 01:05:40 I'm talking about Faulkner,
1212 01:05:44 Hemingway...
1213 01:05:47 I can't concentrate.
1214 01:05:50 My mind just flies offinto the void.
1215 01:05:54 If you're too tired,
1216 01:05:57 I could read to you.
1217 01:06:01 Not just reading,
1218 01:06:04 all pleasure's been reduced.
1219 01:06:09 It's hard to know
1220 01:06:10 what to pay attentionto anymore.
1221 01:06:15 I have very little time
1222 01:06:18 and I don't want to waste it.
1223 01:06:21 Okay. Um...
1224 01:06:26 What about music?
1225 01:06:32 I can only listento the birds singing.
1226 01:06:35 Well, luckily, they give usa serenade every day.
1227 01:06:39 Music decenters me.
1228 01:06:42 It comes between meand whatever it is I'm doing,
1229 01:06:45 even if it's just thinking.
1230 01:06:48 Maybe the chemois affecting my hearing.
1231 01:06:51 Oh, honey.
1232 01:06:53 I've been reducedto very little of myself.
1233 01:07:05 I long for some peaceof body and mind.
1234 01:07:11 And to just talk wheneverI'm invaded by memory.
1235 01:07:15 Am I talking too much?
1236 01:07:16 No, no, no, no.Talk all you want,
1237 01:07:19 I love listening to you.
1238 01:07:20 [crickets chirping]
1239 01:07:26 [birds chirping]
1240 01:08:18 [sniffling]
1241 01:08:38 [breathing heavily]
1242 01:08:42 [sniffles]
1243 01:08:48 [birds chirping]
1244 01:09:18 [birds chirping]
1245 01:09:31 [sobbing]
1246 01:09:40 [continues sobbing]
1247 01:09:55 [continues sobbing]
1248 01:10:05 What's going on?
1249 01:10:07 - What's wrong?- [gasps]
1250 01:10:11 Your door was closed,so I thought you...
1251 01:10:15 Oh, I'm so sorry.
1252 01:10:17 I opened a window
1253 01:10:19 and the breezemust have closed it.
1254 01:10:22 Oh, my God!
1255 01:10:24 [sniffling]
1256 01:10:30 Do you think it's fairto be mad at me
1257 01:10:32 because I'm still alive?
1258 01:10:37 Think of it as a rehearsal.
1259 01:10:40 Now you know how it's gonna be.
1260 01:10:43 You know how you're gonna feel.
1261 01:10:47 You're gonna haveto make some calls
1262 01:10:49 and act out all the thingswe talked about.
1263 01:10:53 And you never knew anything...
1264 01:10:56 and we were on vacation...
1265 01:10:57 Please, just stop!
1266 01:11:01 Okay.
1267 01:11:02 [bugle call playing on TV]
1268 01:11:09 [whimsical music playing on TV]
1269 01:11:30 [laughs]
1270 01:11:32 [tense music playing on TV]
1271 01:11:47 [laughs]
1272 01:12:04 [whirs]
1273 01:12:11 Should we call it a night?
1274 01:12:14 Oh!
1275 01:12:16 Or does the young ladywanna keep watching movies?
1276 01:12:19 Did you tell methat they have The Dead?
1277 01:12:24 Or did I dream that?
1278 01:12:25 Yeah, they have it.
1279 01:12:27 Um, you wanna watch it?
1280 01:12:30 Yes, please.
1281 01:12:31 [Ingrid] Here we go.
1282 01:12:35 Here we go.
1283 01:12:43 [somber music playing on TV]
1284 01:12:47 [Gabriel on TV]Yes, the newspapers are right.
1285 01:12:50 Snow is generalall over Ireland.
1286 01:12:54 Falling on every partof the dark central plain,
1287 01:12:58 on the treeless hills.
1288 01:13:01 Softly upon the Bog of Allen
1289 01:13:04 and farther westward,softly falling
1290 01:13:08 into the dark mutinousShannon waves.
1291 01:13:13 One by one,we're all becoming shades.
1292 01:13:18 - [softly repeating]- Snow is falling,
1293 01:13:22 falling inthat lonely churchyard
1294 01:13:24 where Michael Fureylies buried.
1295 01:13:28 Falling faintlythrough the universe
1296 01:13:30 and faintly falling,
1297 01:13:33 like the descentof their last end,
1298 01:13:37 upon all the livingand the dead.
1299 01:13:51 [birds chirping]
1300 01:14:00 Do you hear them?
1301 01:14:02 Mmm-hmm.
1302 01:14:05 [beeps]
1303 01:14:07 [whirring]
1304 01:14:12 It's daytime.
1305 01:14:17 And you're alive.
1306 01:14:21 [birds chirping]
1307 01:14:29 Oh, this is too much.
1308 01:14:31 - Yeah?- This is harder
1309 01:14:32 - than I thought it'd be.- Okay.
1310 01:14:36 I think I need to sit.
1311 01:14:38 All right. Yeah, let's gosit over here.
1312 01:14:40 Here, let me help you.
1313 01:14:46 Hey, I've got you. Here we go.
1314 01:14:49 Here you go.
1315 01:14:52 Okay.
1316 01:14:54 [Martha] Oh!
1317 01:14:56 - Oh, that's much better.- Oh, good.
1318 01:15:03 Before coming here,I made a new will.
1319 01:15:06 Aw, let's not talkabout this now, please.
1320 01:15:10 I'm leaving the apartmentand everything in it
1321 01:15:12 to Michelle and you.
1322 01:15:20 I found your war journalsin your desk.
1323 01:15:23 What do you want usto do with them?
1324 01:15:25 Is it okay if I read them?
1325 01:15:27 Of course you can read them.
1326 01:15:32 Can I tell your story?
1327 01:15:34 You can do what you want.
1328 01:15:36 I won't be here.
1329 01:15:40 Can I say that?
1330 01:15:41 No.
1331 01:15:44 Okay.
1332 01:15:47 [birds chirping]
1333 01:15:52 [crickets chirping]
1334 01:16:09 [sighs]
1335 01:16:39 Let's not talkabout this now, okay?
1336 01:16:42 All right,I'll see you there. Bye.
1337 01:16:52 [Martha] Dear Ingrid,
1338 01:16:54 Today is such a beautiful daythat it seemed to me it...
1339 01:17:00 Hey.
1340 01:17:01 Hi.
1341 01:17:02 - Everything okay?- Yeah.
1342 01:17:04 This breeze is delicious.
1343 01:17:06 Be careful,it's a little chilly.
1344 01:17:10 Um...
1345 01:17:12 If you don't need me,I'm gonna go to the gym.
1346 01:17:13 But I can stay if you want.
1347 01:17:15 No. Please, go.I don't want to be a downer.
1348 01:17:17 You're not a downer.
1349 01:17:19 You've beenpretty well-behaved.
1350 01:17:21 Have you talkedto your trainer about me?
1351 01:17:25 Um...
1352 01:17:26 Well... I mean, it came up.
1353 01:17:29 I was talking aboutbeing in good shape
1354 01:17:32 and the heart beatingto survive.
1355 01:17:35 You know, everything that youtalked about in the hospital
1356 01:17:38 and he looked at melike I was a lunatic,
1357 01:17:40 so I told him I hada friend that was sick.
1358 01:17:42 That's all.
1359 01:17:45 Just remember,you know nothing
1360 01:17:50 [Ingrid] Mm.
1361 01:17:55 Come here, give me a kiss.
1362 01:17:59 - You okay?- Yes.
1363 01:18:13 [lively chatter]
1364 01:18:24 - Hi.- Hi.
1365 01:18:30 I lied to her, I don't like it.
1366 01:18:33 Well, you'll have to practice.
1367 01:18:34 Lying?
1368 01:18:36 Yes. Officially,you aren't aware
1369 01:18:39 Yeah.
1370 01:18:41 And I found a lawyer,in case you need one.
1371 01:18:43 Thank you. Let's nottalk about this now.
1372 01:18:45 - Mm.- How'd your lecture go?
1373 01:18:48 Well, they weren't too happyabout my not taking questions.
1374 01:18:53 In the end,
1375 01:18:56 people started mutteringand someone called me a coward.
1376 01:18:59 It doesn't bother me.
1377 01:19:00 I spent way too much time
1378 01:19:03 caring about my reputation,and for what?
1379 01:19:05 So, what are you doingwith all that time
1380 01:19:08 Are you doing moreof what you love?
1381 01:19:12 I have to admitthat my interest in things
1382 01:19:14 has been shrinkingas I get older.
1383 01:19:18 Martha said the same thinga couple days ago.
1384 01:19:20 There are so few things leftthat she can really enjoy.
1385 01:19:23 - I understand.- Mm.
1386 01:19:26 But you're not sick.
1387 01:19:28 No, but I feel the same way,especially after the pandemic.
1388 01:19:30 I don't go to the cinemaor listen to music.
1389 01:19:33 I... I read a lot,
1390 01:19:35 but only subjectsto do with my lectures.
1391 01:19:37 Mm. You still go to galleries?You used to love that.
1392 01:19:39 When we were together,we'd go all the time
1393 01:19:41 and talk abouthow powerful the art is.
1394 01:19:43 You still like that?
1395 01:19:45 Even if every poet in the worldsat down to write a poem
1396 01:19:48 about the climate crisis,it wouldn't save one tree.
1397 01:19:51 At least you're stillinterested in trees.
1398 01:19:53 I'm interested in sex, too.
1399 01:19:55 Well, then you're not that bad.
1400 01:19:56 When I was young,
1401 01:19:59 if a day went by without sex,I thought it was incomplete.
1402 01:20:03 I remember that.
1403 01:20:05 I'm not nostalgic,but I miss the nights
1404 01:20:10 and take drugs, have sex,
1405 01:20:13 all that didn't distract usfrom what we really
1406 01:20:16 You drank and you took drugs.
1407 01:20:18 I mean, more than I did anyway.
1408 01:20:20 I don't knowhow much you drank,
1409 01:20:22 but you always actedas you were as blitzed
1410 01:20:26 But you were an essential partof the party.
1411 01:20:29 That is, until you got bored
1412 01:20:31 and went offto discover Europe.
1413 01:20:34 You want to talk about that?
1414 01:20:36 Tell me about your lecture.
1415 01:20:38 [sighs]
1416 01:20:39 I admit that I've becomesomething of a monomaniac.
1417 01:20:43 My own son is no longerspeaking to me
1418 01:20:45 because I didn't hidehow appalled I was
1419 01:20:48 that his wifeis expecting another child.
1420 01:20:51 He doesn't want meanywhere near her
1421 01:20:52 for fearshe'll have a miscarriage.
1422 01:20:54 What? How could you tell himthat he can't have
1423 01:20:56 - It's their third!- [stammering] What...
1424 01:20:58 So, what's the nextlogical alternative?
1425 01:21:01 For peopleto start killing themselves?
1426 01:21:02 People should be aware,once and for all,
1427 01:21:04 of the state of the fuckingplanet they're living on.
1428 01:21:09 Well, perhaps this isn'tthe best subject for you.
1429 01:21:12 You're living witha dying woman in a world
1430 01:21:15 also in its death throes.
1431 01:21:20 Do you really thinkthe situation
1432 01:21:23 Yes. Read the scienceand see what the world
1433 01:21:27 They're releasing more CO2into the air than ever before.
1434 01:21:31 Sooner or later,
1435 01:21:33 and I fear it will be sooner,all this will be shot to hell.
1436 01:21:38 Nothing is going to hastenthe end of the planet
1437 01:21:42 more than the survivalof neo-liberalism
1438 01:21:45 and the rise of the far right.
1439 01:21:47 And we have both of them here,marching side by side.
1440 01:21:54 Sorry, I didn't wantto bring you down, but...
1441 01:21:58 I get riled up with this.
1442 01:22:00 You cannot go aroundtelling people that
1443 01:22:04 It's tragic.
1444 01:22:06 And maybe it's reallyunpleasant of me to say so,
1445 01:22:08 but I've completely lost faith
1446 01:22:11 in people doingthe right thing.
1447 01:22:13 I'm living every dayexpecting to find
1448 01:22:15 but that doesn't stop mefrom enjoying every minute
1449 01:22:19 just the opposite.
1450 01:22:21 I'm learning from herand you should, too,
1451 01:22:25 because there are lots of waysto live inside a tragedy.
1452 01:22:30 Of course it's painful,
1453 01:22:32 but I can take it.
1454 01:22:35 And I'm trying to live
1455 01:22:38 with the same joy that she has,
1456 01:22:40 and with the sameappreciation, so...
1457 01:22:43 the last thing I needis a speech like yours.
1458 01:22:46 I've always admired youfor that.
1459 01:22:49 What?
1460 01:22:51 You're one of the only peoplewho knows how to suffer
1461 01:22:53 without making othersfeel guilty about it.
1462 01:23:24 [sighs]
1463 01:23:38 Do you thinkit will be much longer?
1464 01:23:40 No, it'll be soon. Any day now.
1465 01:23:45 You have to be prepared.
1466 01:23:47 I know the police.
1467 01:23:48 They'll ask youall sorts of questions,
1468 01:23:50 they'll dig intoyour relationship
1469 01:23:53 You needa kind of mental script.
1470 01:23:55 No, I thought about it,I do have it.
1471 01:23:58 Good. Stay strongand stick to your story.
1472 01:24:01 And when it happens,
1473 01:24:02 you should call the policebefore you call me.
1474 01:24:05 No, I need to callher daughter.
1475 01:24:06 I should call herbefore I call you.
1476 01:24:08 Okay, but be carefulwhat you say to her.
1477 01:24:10 I had to tell the lawyerabout the situation.
1478 01:24:13 Why do we have togo through all this,
1479 01:24:17 Shouldn't dying peoplehave the right
1480 01:24:18 to end their liveswith dignity?
1481 01:24:20 They will, onceour teetering health system
1482 01:24:22 completely collapses.
1483 01:24:24 [birds chirping]
1484 01:25:01 Martha?
1485 01:25:22 [Martha] Dear Ingrid,
1486 01:25:24 today is such a beautiful day
1487 01:25:27 that it seemed to meit was the moment to leave.
1488 01:25:31 It consoled me that you weren'tin the room downstairs,
1489 01:25:34 even though that was the idea.
1490 01:25:37 But you know I always improvise
1491 01:25:40 and I'm almost happy that,
1492 01:25:42 while I fade awayon the lounger,
1493 01:25:45 you're out in the world,
1494 01:25:47 experiencing somethingdifferent to my death.
1495 01:25:51 No one will be ableto accuse you of complicity.
1496 01:25:56 You have accompanied me
1497 01:25:58 as much as any human beingcan accompany another.
1498 01:26:02 Call my daughterand tell her I'm sorry.
1499 01:26:07 And thank you, love.
1500 01:26:35 Martha.
1501 01:26:39 I'll do whatever you want.
1502 01:26:46 [sniffling]
1503 01:27:01 [birds cawing]
1504 01:27:09 We had dinnerand then we watched
1505 01:27:11 I told you this already.
1506 01:27:13 And you didn't noticeanything strange,
1507 01:27:15 anything that madeyou suspect...
1508 01:27:20 Try to remember.
1509 01:27:21 I remember it perfectly,it was a fun night.
1510 01:27:24 There were no gestures?Nothing she said?
1511 01:27:27 We said goodnightand then I went upstairs
1512 01:27:29 and I stayed up latereading a book
1513 01:27:32 that Martha had recommendedcalled Erotic Vagrancy.
1514 01:27:35 It's about Elizabeth Taylorand Richard Burton.
1515 01:27:38 - Do you know it?- No.
1516 01:27:39 Martha and I both thoughtthat it was really fun.
1517 01:27:42 Try to answeronly the questions I ask you.
1518 01:27:48 What'd you dothe following morning?
1519 01:27:52 I had lunch with a friend.
1520 01:27:54 And when I came back,I called out for her
1521 01:27:56 and when she didn't answer,
1522 01:27:58 I went to her bedroom.
1523 01:28:00 But she wasn't there.
1524 01:28:02 So I went into the backyardand that's when I saw her.
1525 01:28:06 And, at first, I thoughtthat she was asleep
1526 01:28:09 and I got really nervousand I called the ambulance.
1527 01:28:12 And they got there very quickly
1528 01:28:14 and then the EMTs saw her
1529 01:28:16 and then they saidthere was nothing
1530 01:28:18 Nobody buys this pillby accident
1531 01:28:20 if they'renot thinking of suicide
1532 01:28:23 so, you didn't knowanything about this?
1533 01:28:24 About what?
1534 01:28:26 About her being in possessionof this illegal compound.
1535 01:28:28 No. She was taking medicationfor the pain,
1536 01:28:31 you know, patches and pills,but she...
1537 01:28:33 she never sharedthe specifics with me.
1538 01:28:37 It is strange that,
1539 01:28:38 if you twowere such good friends,
1540 01:28:40 that she didn't sayanything to you.
1541 01:28:43 You can't justwalk into a drugstore
1542 01:28:49 It's very difficult to come by.
1543 01:28:52 I think when she rentedthe house,
1544 01:28:55 she already knew what she wasgonna do, right?
1545 01:28:58 It's possible,
1546 01:29:00 but she didn'ttell me anything.
1547 01:29:02 She was exhaustedfrom the last treatment
1548 01:29:04 and she wanted to take a breakbefore going back
1549 01:29:06 for the next round of chemo.
1550 01:29:08 She wasn't the typeto throw in the towel.
1551 01:29:10 She didn't complain?
1552 01:29:12 She didn't say anythingthat made you sense...
1553 01:29:16 the end?
1554 01:29:18 It was a great responsibilityfor you.
1555 01:29:20 She complained sometimes.
1556 01:29:24 What did she complain about?What did she say?
1557 01:29:29 She'd lost the capacityfor attention.
1558 01:29:32 She couldn't read or write,for example.
1559 01:29:38 Her life was reducedto surviving.
1560 01:29:40 You know, I find itvery hard to believe
1561 01:29:43 that she didn't say anythingthat made you suspect the end.
1562 01:29:46 It was more than evidentthat she was very sick,
1563 01:29:48 but she wanted totake a vacation
1564 01:29:50 before going backto the hospital.
1565 01:29:51 I told you this already.
1566 01:29:54 So, we also spoke to someof Martha's close friends.
1567 01:30:01 In general, they all coincidewith your testimony.
1568 01:30:06 But one of them, Stella Byrne,
1569 01:30:09 told us that, after Marthafinished her chemotherapy,
1570 01:30:11 that she proposedthat she accompany her
1571 01:30:14 to a house in the country
1572 01:30:17 where she intendedto commit suicide.
1573 01:30:24 Asked her to, and I quote...
1574 01:30:27 "Be in the room next door."
1575 01:30:32 And her friend refused.
1576 01:30:34 I wasn't in the room next door,I was in the room downstairs.
1577 01:30:37 When I spoke to Mrs. Byrne
1578 01:30:39 and informed herof the suicide,
1579 01:30:40 she told meshe wasn't surprised.
1580 01:30:42 There's another wordfor what Martha did,
1581 01:30:45 Well, call it what you want,
1582 01:30:47 but, for me, what your frienddid is a crime
1583 01:30:51 and, as a policeman,as a human being,
1584 01:30:54 as a man of faith,
1585 01:30:56 I'm radically opposedto anyone committing a crime.
1586 01:31:00 And, of course, anyone aidingand abetting in one.
1587 01:31:09 [cell phone clicking]
1588 01:31:13 [line ringing]
1589 01:31:15 Damian, can you come downto the police station, please?
1590 01:31:18 This is endless.
1591 01:31:20 How do you explainthat your friend Martha
1592 01:31:23 was so explicit with Mrs. Byrne
1593 01:31:25 and yet she didn't tell youanything about her intentions?
1594 01:31:27 I'm not gonna say another word.
1595 01:31:29 If I'm under arrest,then tell me the charges.
1596 01:31:31 Otherwise, I'll waitin the hall for my lawyer.
1597 01:31:33 Very foresighted of you.
1598 01:31:35 What made you thinkyou'd need a lawyer?
1599 01:31:37 Why don't you ask your friend,he witnessed the interrogation.
1600 01:31:40 [sighs] I think you're lying.
1601 01:31:44 And that you'rethe kind of person
1602 01:31:46 if a friend asked youfor help committing suicide.
1603 01:31:51 Let her go.
1604 01:31:52 [buzzes]
1605 01:32:01 Hey.
1606 01:32:03 - Hi.- Hi.
1607 01:32:05 - How are you?- I'm okay.
1608 01:32:07 This is my lawyer, Sarah.
1609 01:32:09 - Hi. Pleasure.- Thank you for coming.
1610 01:32:11 Of course.Damian's filled me in.
1611 01:32:13 Is there anything I should knowabout the interrogation?
1612 01:32:15 Well, he treated melike I was the killer.
1613 01:32:17 - But you were with me.- He doesn't care.
1614 01:32:18 He insists that I'm implicated.
1615 01:32:20 Okay, but...
1616 01:32:21 He spoke to a friendof Martha, Stella Byrne,
1617 01:32:24 who said that Marthahad approached her first
1618 01:32:26 and she refused to help her.
1619 01:32:27 Okay, well, I'm sureeverything was recorded.
1620 01:32:29 - Mm-hmm.- [door opens]
1621 01:32:31 Um, and this police officerwitnessed everything.
1622 01:32:34 You can come in now.
1623 01:32:35 I'll go in alone.I'm her attorney.
1624 01:32:38 Don't worry,this is all very clear.
1625 01:32:42 Thank you for coming.
1626 01:32:44 - My pleasure.- [door buzzes]
1627 01:32:46 Jesus! What an asshole!
1628 01:32:48 I've never been treatedlike that before.
1629 01:32:50 You were unlucky enoughto come up against
1630 01:32:53 but he's not gonnabother you again.
1631 01:32:54 I'm gonna file a complaint.
1632 01:32:56 Thank you so muchfor everything.
1633 01:32:58 You still need to be availablefor the next 48 hours
1634 01:33:00 until forensic formalitiesare done.
1635 01:33:03 Um, I told them to call meif necessary.
1636 01:33:05 I'll be at the house.
1637 01:33:07 Do you haveall the information you need?
1638 01:33:08 Yes, Damian gave it to me.
1639 01:33:10 Just give me a callif anything comes up, okay?
1640 01:33:12 I'm gonna head backto the office.
1641 01:33:13 I'm really sorry for your loss.
1642 01:33:15 - Thank you.- Thanks, Sarah.
1643 01:33:16 Bye.
1644 01:33:18 I can't believeStella told him that.
1645 01:33:20 Well, he probably cornered her,
1646 01:33:22 and they have Martha's computerand her cell phone.
1647 01:33:24 [Ingrid] Mm.
1648 01:33:25 Do you know if they talked?
1649 01:33:26 No, I don't know,she didn't tell me anything.
1650 01:33:30 What do you wanna do?
1651 01:33:32 I need to go back to the houseand pack up Martha's things.
1652 01:33:34 [cell phone ringing]
1653 01:33:35 Sorry.
1654 01:33:37 Hello?
1655 01:33:39 Uh, speaking.
1656 01:33:42 [whispers] It's Michelle.
1657 01:33:44 Martha's daughter?
1658 01:33:46 Yes, of course.
1659 01:33:47 No, no, of courseyou can come over.
1660 01:33:49 I'm headed there right now.I'll text you the address.
1661 01:33:54 Okay, I'll see you soon. Bye.
1662 01:33:58 Wow. Wow.
1663 01:34:01 I'm headed back to the city,
1664 01:34:03 so tell me when you're backand I'll help you
1665 01:34:07 Thank you for everything.
1666 01:34:11 And you can tell mehow it went with Michelle.
1667 01:34:14 I will.
1668 01:34:17 - Thanks. I'll call you, okay?- Okay. Take care.
1669 01:34:22 [birds chirping]
1670 01:34:53 Hello, I'm Michelle.
1671 01:34:55 I'm Ingrid.
1672 01:34:57 Hi.
1673 01:35:02 - Let's go inside, okay?- Yeah.
1674 01:35:08 Come on in.
1675 01:35:15 Do you wanna seeyour mother's room?
1676 01:35:17 Yes, please.
1677 01:35:18 It's right down there.Right down the hall.
1678 01:35:48 I made some coffee.
1679 01:35:50 Would you like some?
1680 01:35:51 Uh, I also have tea.
1681 01:35:53 No, coffee's great. Thank you.
1682 01:35:56 Here you go.
1683 01:36:01 Did she tell you about me?
1684 01:36:03 Of course she did.
1685 01:36:06 And she told meyou were very upset
1686 01:36:10 So she told youabout my father?
1687 01:36:12 She did.
1688 01:36:13 [coffee pouring]
1689 01:36:15 Don't you thinkshe could have helped him
1690 01:36:16 when he came back from the war?
1691 01:36:18 She helped himas best she could.
1692 01:36:21 Your father came backvery badly damaged
1693 01:36:24 and he wanted tomove to another city
1694 01:36:27 His plans never included youor Martha.
1695 01:36:31 And your motheraccepted the end
1696 01:36:36 And she saw himin such a bad way
1697 01:36:38 that she gave him a kissto give him some peace
1698 01:36:40 and that kiss turnedinto something more.
1699 01:36:44 And you are the fruitof that moment.
1700 01:36:47 My mother never told meanything about that.
1701 01:36:50 It's a difficult thingto explain to a child.
1702 01:36:53 She could have told me later.
1703 01:36:55 By then you were so estranged
1704 01:36:57 that she didn't feelit was possible anymore.
1705 01:37:00 She was a teenager,
1706 01:37:02 she had a life to live,
1707 01:37:04 and your fathermoved to San Diego
1708 01:37:06 and he made no effortto know you.
1709 01:37:19 So, Ingrid,
1710 01:37:22 do you thinkI was totally mistaken
1711 01:37:26 You were unfair,
1712 01:37:29 but no one can blame youfor wanting to know
1713 01:37:36 It's a sad story,
1714 01:37:37 it was very painfulfor both of you.
1715 01:37:43 Don't be so hard on yourself,
1716 01:37:45 Martha wasn'tthe perfect mother.
1717 01:37:48 No, she wasn't.
1718 01:37:54 Can I stay here tonight?
1719 01:37:56 Yes, of course.This is your mother's house!
1720 01:38:01 [crickets chirping]
1721 01:38:02 [Ingrid] Dear Martha,
1722 01:38:05 I thought you'd like to knowI've come back to the house
1723 01:38:07 to gather up your things.
1724 01:38:11 Your daughter came to see me.
1725 01:38:14 I'm still shaking.
1726 01:38:16 She looks so like you.
1727 01:38:19 She asked me if she could stayand sleep in your bed...
1728 01:38:23 and, of course, I said yes.
1729 01:38:26 I think your deathhas brought her closer to you.
1730 01:38:33 I never thoughtI'd inherit her,
1731 01:38:36 even if it's just for a day.
1732 01:38:39 The house is filled with you.
1733 01:38:44 When I came in,after talking to the police,
1734 01:38:48 the first thing I sawwas the door of your room,
1735 01:38:52 and it was open.
1736 01:38:54 And I said to myself,"She's alive."
1737 01:38:58 [birds chirping]
1738 01:39:31 I came out hereto listen to the birds.
1739 01:39:36 Your motherwould get up like this,
1740 01:39:39 at dawn,
1741 01:39:42 and lie right there.
1742 01:39:48 Look, it's snowing.
1743 01:39:53 [sighs]
1744 01:39:55 [wind blowing]
1745 01:40:00 The snow is falling.
1746 01:40:04 It's falling on the lonely pool
1747 01:40:06 we never used.
1748 01:40:09 It's falling on the woods,
1749 01:40:12 where we walked and you lay,
1750 01:40:14 exhausted, on the ground.
1751 01:40:19 Falling on your daughter and on me.
1752 01:40:25 Falling upon the living and the dead.
