BJ单身日记4 Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy(2025)(EN)Subtitles

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1 00:01:17 [Bridget] Fuck, fuck, fuck!So late!
2 00:01:20 [Billy] Mabel's put a scarf on the cat.
3 00:01:21 [Mabel] He's not a cat.He's my husband.
4 00:01:24 Where is he?
5 00:01:26 - Will he bring the ladies with the big boobies?- "Ladies"?
6 00:01:29 [Mabel] Last time,he brushed my hair with a fork.
7 00:01:31 [Billy] There were three ladies,and they had an epic pillow fight.
8 00:01:33 - The fork had maple syrup on it.- Out of the way, darling.
9 00:01:36 - [Mabel clears throat]- Well,
10 00:01:37 it's obvious he's not coming,so I'll just stay home.
11 00:01:40 You said this was the one thing youhad to leave the house for this year.
12 00:01:43 [Bridget sighs]You're right. I'm going.
13 00:01:44 Move, please, Mabes.
14 00:01:48 Fuck... caccia.
15 00:01:51 Did we eat the focaccia?
16 00:01:54 [sighs] Well,we haven't got any vegetables.
17 00:01:57 But lucky you, you get to havefrozen peas. Mmm.
18 00:02:02 All right. Come to the table.
19 00:02:04 Come on.
20 00:02:06 One, two...
21 00:02:10 [Bridget] What am I going to dowhen I get to three?
22 00:02:13 - [smoke alarm blares]- [Bridget exclaiming]
23 00:02:14 [smoke alarm]Please enter alarm code.
24 00:02:16 [Bridget]Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck!
25 00:02:18 - Please enter alarm code.- No! Don't put the flames out.
26 00:02:20 - We can toast marshmallows.- Please enter alarm code.
27 00:02:22 Please...
28 00:02:24 [gasps, sighs]
29 00:02:29 [sighs]
30 00:02:30 The tension of our bodies,
31 00:02:35 - the scars of...- [phone ringing]
32 00:02:38 [automated phone voice]Hello, Moto.
33 00:02:43 [woman]...in... in our longing.
34 00:02:45 Bridget Jones, always exciting.
35 00:02:47 - How's the skirt?- Daniel, hi. [Sighs]
36 00:02:49 Just checking you have indeedforgotten about tonight.
37 00:02:52 That is hurtful, Jones.I have absolutely not forgotten.
38 00:02:55 - [audience shushes]- No.
39 00:02:57 I'm so sorry. It's my mother.
40 00:02:59 - She's in the hospital.- [audience member] Oh.
41 00:03:01 - Primordial sweat.- I will be there
42 00:03:03 quicker than it took me to bringyou to earth-shattering orgasm,
43 00:03:06 you filthy little harlot.
44 00:03:08 [audience murmuring]
45 00:03:13 Love you, Mummy.
46 00:03:16 "Mummy"?
47 00:03:17 Darling, clever Geminita.
48 00:03:18 I'm gonna have to rush.It's a family emergency.
49 00:03:21 But I am loving this one.
50 00:03:23 I think... I think we all are,aren't we?
51 00:03:25 Call me later, yeah?
52 00:03:28 Oh, yeah.
53 00:03:29 I am imminent, Jones. Imminent.
54 00:03:32 Un-bunch those giant panties.
55 00:03:42 [Bridget groans]
56 00:03:43 [Bridget] Bloody zipmanufacturers should be
57 00:03:45 cancelled for sociological bias.
58 00:03:47 It is actually impossibleto do this on your own.
59 00:03:51 [sighs] Help.
60 00:03:59 - Ooh. Thank you, monkeys.- [horn honks]
61 00:04:01 Uncle Daniel!
62 00:04:02 Miniature Darcy,what's the news?
63 00:04:04 [Billy] Where are the ladieswith the big...
64 00:04:06 [Daniel] Hair?They couldn't make it, sadly.
65 00:04:07 They're, um...They're washing their hair.
66 00:04:09 All three?
67 00:04:11 Yeah, well, they wash eachother's, you see.
68 00:04:12 I thought you saidno more models.
69 00:04:15 Geminita is not a model, Jones.
70 00:04:17 She is a poet and a healer,
71 00:04:19 and a model.
72 00:04:20 Come here.
73 00:04:23 Hell of a night for you.
74 00:04:24 Ugh, I can't go.The children need me.
75 00:04:27 Uncle Daniel!
76 00:04:29 You. Right.
77 00:04:30 Get a fork and some syrup.I'm gonna style you.
78 00:04:33 - [Billy] I found the cards.- [Daniel] Very good. Excellent.
79 00:04:36 Now then, we need to work onyour bluffing and your cheating.
80 00:04:58 [Bridget]Life has its white notes...
81 00:05:04 and life has its black notes.
82 00:05:11 You look very beautiful tonight,Mrs Darcy.
83 00:05:13 Not looking so bad yourself,Mr Darcy.
84 00:05:21 [doorbell rings]
85 00:05:32 Bridget.
86 00:05:34 [Bridget] Very black notes.
87 00:05:36 Jolly good. Come in. Weather'sbeen a bit shitty, hasn't it?
88 00:05:39 - Though the cricket this year has been...- Jeremy.
89 00:05:40 absolutely phenomenal.
90 00:05:45 [Bridget] This is what happened.
91 00:05:47 Mark Darcy, my husband,
92 00:05:49 father to Billy and Mabel,
93 00:05:51 died.
94 00:05:53 Or rather, was killed
95 00:05:56 in the Sudan ona humanitarian mission.
96 00:06:00 - Everybody's just upstairs.- Thanks.
97 00:06:03 [Bridget] And that was fouryears ago. Today, actually.
98 00:06:08 Brace yourself.It's a total fucking shit show.
99 00:06:11 [Bridget] And even though there mightbe 600,000 words in the human language,
100 00:06:16 the world still strugglesto find the right ones
101 00:06:20 when someone you love is gone.
102 00:06:22 Bridget, how are the children?
103 00:06:24 - [woman] Mmm.- Are they...
104 00:06:26 Are they all right withoutyou there?
105 00:06:27 - [guests murmuring]- No. It's fine.
106 00:06:31 Left them some crystal methin the kitchen.
107 00:06:36 [Bridget] Maybe not.
108 00:06:37 Well, we don't make a thingabout it.
109 00:06:39 We celebrate Mark's birthdayinstead.
110 00:06:41 [guests] Oh.
111 00:06:43 So, Bridget, still on your own?
112 00:06:45 [man] It's been four years now.
113 00:06:47 You're still in prettygood nick. Why no chap?
114 00:06:49 Now, now. It's not Bridget's fault.Very hard, being a middle-aged woman
115 00:06:52 - and finding yourself single.- [guests] Mmm.
116 00:06:54 Better if you're a bloke.Look at Binko Carruthers.
117 00:06:57 He's no oil painting,
118 00:06:59 but the second Rosemary died,he was inundated.
119 00:07:02 Of course, they were all of acertain age, though, weren't they?
120 00:07:06 Sorry, do you realiseyou said that out loud?
121 00:07:08 - [laughs]- Hmm?
122 00:07:11 "A certain age"?What, do you mean our age?
123 00:07:14 - That is the most...- [Bridget] Shazzer now hosts
124 00:07:16 a podcast calledFed Up,
125 00:07:17 in which she has dinnerwith minor celebrities
126 00:07:19 while basically getting furiousabout everything.
127 00:07:22 sexist fucking universewe, unbelievably,
128 00:07:24 still continueto fucking inhabit.
129 00:07:29 [mouthing word]
130 00:07:31 I need to go to the toilet.
131 00:07:33 [guests] Oh.
132 00:07:36 [woman] Oh, dear.
133 00:07:39 Yeah, Jude.Yeah, I'm with her now.
134 00:07:41 [Jude] Well, Shaz, tell herto come to The Golden Cock.
135 00:07:44 No, no, no. The party.It's for Mark.
136 00:07:47 That's not a party.That's a fucking bin fire.
137 00:07:50 And you think that Mark wouldwant you to stay here and be insulted
138 00:07:52 in the fucking sexism Olympics?
139 00:07:55 [Bridget's friends] To Mark.
140 00:07:57 - And to Bridget...- [Bridget] Aw.
141 00:07:58 and the rare pleasureof seeing you
142 00:07:59 -in something not madeof terry towelling.
143 00:08:01 - [Shaz laughs]- [Bridget] Tom, still living
144 00:08:03 handsomely offhis one hit single
145 00:08:05 which had a comeback recently in a30-second video of a dog doing maths.
146 00:08:10 Now, of all things,a life coach.
147 00:08:13 Honestly, I'd say it wasa bit of a breakthrough,
148 00:08:16 speaking as your psychologist.
149 00:08:18 [laughs]You're not my psychologist.
150 00:08:19 Well, I should be, yes.
151 00:08:21 According to the classic model,
152 00:08:23 you've actually made itto the fourth stage
153 00:08:25 - of the five stages of grief.- Wait. Isn't it seven stages?
154 00:08:29 What are you talking about,Jude? No, it isn't. It's five stages.
155 00:08:32 - Isn't it five?- Well, I always thought it was four.
156 00:08:34 [Jude] It's definitely seven.
157 00:08:35 [Bridget] Jude, now CEO or COO
158 00:08:38 or CTO,definitely a C-something-O,
159 00:08:41 still regularly calling, in tears,from executive bathroom.
160 00:08:44 So, um, only one stage togo now, Bridge.
161 00:08:48 - [Bridget] Oh.- [clears throat] Stage five.
162 00:08:50 It's acceptance,which basically means
163 00:08:52 - you just have to get laid.- Oh, my God. Shazzer's right.
164 00:08:56 Yes. I mean, honestly, darling,look at yourself.
165 00:08:59 You've becomea born-again virgin.
166 00:09:01 If you don't get laid soon, yourvagina will literally reseal itself.
167 00:09:05 [Shaz] Yeah, and that isa thing.
168 00:09:07 It's called labial adhesion.
169 00:09:10 [Bridget] Oh, my God!
170 00:09:12 I knew leaving the kitchen wasa mistake.
171 00:09:15 I don't want anyone else.
172 00:09:17 And even if I did,which I don't,
173 00:09:18 I'm non-viable,completely asexual,
174 00:09:21 and nobody willever fancy me again.
175 00:09:24 - Ever, ever, ever.- No. No, no, no.
176 00:09:25 And I'm going to the toilet.
177 00:09:29 Crash and burn.That was a disaster.
178 00:09:31 Well, that wasa fucking disaster.
179 00:09:32 [Bridget yawns]
180 00:09:36 Crikey. Have we been burgled?
181 00:09:38 [Daniel] We have notbeen burgled, Jones. No.
182 00:09:41 We have been marvellous.Now, tell me this.
183 00:09:43 For Tonya, do we think a kittenheel or a chunky wedge?
184 00:09:47 She's going to Wimbledon.
185 00:09:48 Wedge, obviously.
186 00:09:50 You may be right.
187 00:09:52 How was it? Any fun? Any tongue?
188 00:09:54 Ugh. God. No tongue.I have hung up my tongue.
189 00:09:58 How were they?
190 00:10:00 Well, the girl is you.
191 00:10:02 Lawless, romantic,irresistibly drawn to me.
192 00:10:06 Asked me if I was goingto be her new daddy.
193 00:10:08 She does that.
194 00:10:10 Yeah. Wouldn't go to beduntil I'd married her rabbit.
195 00:10:13 - Hmm.- [Daniel] Which I was very happy to do.
196 00:10:16 That rabbit is notat all unfanciable.
197 00:10:18 [Bridget] Hmm. And Billy?
198 00:10:19 Well, Billy is Darcy, isn't he?
199 00:10:21 Still waters and all that.
200 00:10:24 As it happens, Jones, your son
201 00:10:26 and I have a numberof shared interests.
202 00:10:29 Oh, God. Like what?
203 00:10:31 Models.
204 00:10:32 He showed me his,I showed him mine.
205 00:10:34 -Hmm.-And then we... we talked about death.
206 00:10:37 Did you?
207 00:10:38 [Daniel] Yeah.I told him being dead was shit.
208 00:10:40 And that I should knowbecause I was for a bit.
209 00:10:43 And then, uh... [sighs]
210 00:10:44 I gave him a hug'cause he seemed a bit sad.
211 00:10:47 And then that made me sadbecause... [sighs]
212 00:10:50 - [Bridget] How is your boy?- [groans]
213 00:10:52 Enzo's, what? He's...
214 00:10:54 Uh, fuck knows, Jones.Fifteen, I think.
215 00:10:56 Anyway, we then cheered ourselvesup by digging out the cocktail shaker,
216 00:11:01 and I taught him howto make a Dirty Bitch.
217 00:11:03 Saved it for you.It's in the fridge.
218 00:11:04 - Goody. Have it for breakfast.- [phone rings]
219 00:11:07 Yeah, hello, hello,hello, hello.
220 00:11:09 Geminita.
221 00:11:10 Yeah, we're all done. All done.I'm on my way.
222 00:11:14 Well, as quick as I can.
223 00:11:16 Yes, like naughty old mothto eager young flame.
224 00:11:20 No, you hang up first.
225 00:11:23 And... OK, kiss you back.
226 00:11:25 - [laughs]- [Daniel sighs]
227 00:11:26 [stammers] Yeah, OK. Louder.Yeah. [Kisses]
228 00:11:29 - Oh, my God.- [phone closes]
229 00:11:31 [laughing]
230 00:11:34 Fuck off, Jones.OK, they're asleep.
231 00:11:36 Um... [sighs]it did take a bit of time.
232 00:11:38 But I... Actually I showed thema video of Geminita
233 00:11:41 reciting one of her prose poemsand they were out like a light.
234 00:11:44 [scoffs]
235 00:11:46 All right.
236 00:11:48 [sighs] What happens now?
237 00:11:52 I'm trying to remember how itworked with our babysitters.
238 00:11:55 I think you give me 20 quidand try and shag me, don't you?
239 00:11:58 [Bridget] Ah, Daniel,dear Daniel.
240 00:12:02 At least some thingsnever change.
241 00:12:05 It makes me sad though, Jones.You know...
242 00:12:08 two children and you all aloneand effectively a nun.
243 00:12:13 Albeit, of course,a very, very naughty nun.
244 00:12:22 Bye, Daniel.
245 00:12:23 Yeah.
246 00:12:25 Thanks for tonight.
247 00:12:26 Yeah.
248 00:12:32 [Bridget] Why are these lightsstill on?
249 00:12:35 I thought you two were asleep.
250 00:12:38 Do you miss Dada sometimes?
251 00:12:41 I miss him all of the times.
252 00:12:43 [Mabel gasps]
253 00:12:48 [gasps] There's my owl.
254 00:12:51 [Bridget] Back to bed. Come on.
255 00:12:53 - Story, Mama?- [Bridget] Mm-hmm.
256 00:13:00 For the baby princess isas kind as she is fair.
257 00:13:06 And the baby prince is as gentleas he is handsome.
258 00:13:13 And wherever they goand whatever they do,
259 00:13:17 Mummy and Daddywill always love them.
260 00:13:21 - And Saliva.- [laughs, coughs]
261 00:13:26 She stinks, Mabes.
262 00:13:29 - [Mabel chuckles]- Oh!
263 00:13:31 [chuckles]
264 00:13:38 - Good night, darling.- Good night, Mama.
265 00:13:46 Good night.
266 00:13:50 [Billy] And all the thoughts...
267 00:13:54 And all the thoughtsare going away.
268 00:13:58 They don't need little Billyand Mabel tonight.
269 00:14:02 The worldwill turn without them.
270 00:14:05 [Bridget and Mark] The starswill shine without them.
271 00:14:09 And all little Billy and Mabelneed to do is rest and sleep.
272 00:14:17 Good night.
273 00:14:19 Night.
274 00:14:25 [Mark] Good night, Billy.
275 00:14:27 - Do the song, Daddy. Please.- [Mark] OK.
276 00:14:29 ♪ I'll do anythingFor you, dear♪
277 00:14:35 ♪ Anything♪
278 00:14:36 ♪ For you mean everything To me♪
279 00:14:41 [Netflix start-up sound playing]
280 00:14:45 [clicks]
281 00:14:46 All by myself 47.
282 00:14:52 Shitballs.
283 00:14:54 No. Cock-bollockingfuck-bubbles!
284 00:15:01 [Bridget growls]
285 00:15:02 [Bridget] Literally everyoneelse in the whole country
286 00:15:05 is laughing uproariouslywith their partners
287 00:15:07 while watching Netflixand having sex.
288 00:15:10 You don't want to wallow in it,darling.
289 00:15:12 [Bridget]And there they are again.
290 00:15:15 All the voices, all the advice.
291 00:15:18 You gotta wallow in it, Bridge.Wallow.
292 00:15:20 Grieve. G-R-E-I-V-E.
293 00:15:24 [laughing]It's I-E. It's not E-I.
294 00:15:27 No, it's, "I before Eexcept after C."
295 00:15:31 Yes, exactly.
296 00:15:33 God, you really are sucha T-W-T-A.
297 00:15:36 - [Tom] A what?- [Shaz laughs]
298 00:15:37 [Bridget]The thing about advice is,
299 00:15:39 no one tells youthe same thing twice.
300 00:15:43 Bridget, you've gotto put the children first.
301 00:15:46 [Bridget] Uh-huh. Thank you,Magda. Yes.
302 00:15:50 Put the children first.
303 00:15:53 Sod the children.
304 00:15:54 Put your own oxygen maskon first.
305 00:15:57 [Bridget] Right. Oxygen mask.
306 00:16:00 Got it.
307 00:16:01 One thing's for certain, Bridge.
308 00:16:03 Forget about sex. [Hiccups] Oh.
309 00:16:06 [Bridget] OK.
310 00:16:07 No sex.
311 00:16:09 You need to have a lot of sex.
312 00:16:11 Yeah. Why don't you come backto work?
313 00:16:14 [Bridget] Thank you, Richard.I'll bear that in mind.
314 00:16:31 But as my dad saidjust before he died,
315 00:16:34 the big question is...
316 00:16:37 Can you survive?
317 00:16:42 I think so.
318 00:16:44 I have to.
319 00:16:48 I'm trying.
320 00:16:52 It's not enough to survive.You've got to live.
321 00:16:56 Is that the Dalai Lama?
322 00:16:59 It's Harry Styles, I think.
323 00:17:01 - [door opens]- [Bridget's mother] Colin.
324 00:17:02 - Is that a sausage?- What sausage?
325 00:17:05 Bridget, you know what thedoctor said about saturated fats.
326 00:17:09 Pam, could you take a photographof us? Me and Bridget.
327 00:17:17 Um...
328 00:17:20 Colin, try not to do that withyour chin.
329 00:17:22 I'm not doing anything withmy chin.
330 00:17:29 Promise me you'll live, Bridget.
331 00:17:33 Smile!
332 00:17:41 [shutter clicks]
333 00:18:05 [sighs]
334 00:18:27 ["Modern Love" playing]
335 00:18:35 [Bridget] BridgetJones, it's time to live.
336 00:18:41 ♪ I know when to go out♪
337 00:18:44 ♪ Know when to stay in♪
338 00:18:47 ♪ Get things done♪
339 00:18:52 ♪ I catch a paper boy♪
340 00:18:55 ♪ But thingsDon't really change♪
341 00:18:58 ♪ I'm standing in the wind♪
342 00:19:00 ♪ But I never wave bye-bye♪
343 00:19:04 [yawns]
344 00:19:06 ♪ But I try♪
345 00:19:09 ♪ I try♪
346 00:19:14 ♪ Never gonna fall for♪
347 00:19:15 ♪ Modern love♪
348 00:19:16 ♪ Walks beside me♪
349 00:19:18 ♪ Modern love♪
350 00:19:19 ♪ Walks on by♪
351 00:19:21 ♪ Modern love♪
352 00:19:22 ♪ Gets me to♪
353 00:19:23 ♪ The church on time♪
354 00:19:26 ♪ Church on time♪
355 00:19:27 ♪ Terrifies me♪
356 00:19:29 ♪ Church on time♪
357 00:19:30 ♪ Makes me party♪
358 00:19:31 ♪ Church on time♪
359 00:19:33 ♪ Puts my trust in God and man♪
360 00:19:36 ♪ God and man♪
361 00:19:38 ♪ No confession♪
362 00:19:39 ♪ God and man♪
363 00:19:40 ♪ No religion♪
364 00:19:42 ♪ God and man♪
365 00:19:43 ♪ Don't believe in modern love♪
366 00:20:22 ♪ It's not really work♪
367 00:20:25 ♪ It's just the power to charm♪
368 00:20:27 ♪ I'm still standing inThe wind♪
369 00:20:30 ♪ But I never wave bye-bye♪
370 00:20:36 ♪ But I try♪
371 00:20:39 ♪ I try♪
372 00:20:43 ♪ Never gonna fall for♪
373 00:20:44 ♪ Modern love♪
374 00:20:46 ♪ Walks beside me♪
375 00:20:47 ♪ Modern love♪
376 00:20:49 ♪ Walks on by♪
377 00:20:50 ♪ Modern love♪
378 00:20:51 ♪ Gets me to the church♪
379 00:20:53 ♪ On time♪
380 00:20:55 ♪ Modern love...♪
381 00:20:56 [Bridget] Right.You've got your pencil case,
382 00:20:58 your lunch, your homework?
383 00:21:00 - Your keys?- [Bridget] Ooh.
384 00:21:01 - [Mabel blows recorder]- Well,
385 00:21:04 you've definitely got yourrecorder so that's good.
386 00:21:06 Your lovely picture ofa spaceship.
387 00:21:09 It's a cat.
388 00:21:12 Oh, yes.Of course it is, darling.
389 00:21:14 What paints did you use?
390 00:21:15 I used the lipsticks withthe C's on them.
391 00:21:18 - Oh. So creative.- Handbag?
392 00:21:20 Oh, fuck a duck.
393 00:21:21 [postman] Hello, Billy.
394 00:21:23 [Billy] Morning.
395 00:21:24 [postman] Hello, Mabel.
396 00:21:26 Morning, Bridget.
397 00:21:27 Hi.
398 00:21:28 Just the usual crap.
399 00:21:29 Are you going to bemy new daddy?
400 00:21:34 - [child 1] No, Mum!- [child 2] No! Mum!
401 00:21:36 When I signed upfor having children,
402 00:21:37 I did not sign up to be ruled by
403 00:21:39 a gaggle of computer crackheads.
404 00:21:41 Well, guess what?
405 00:21:42 I've had you,I've brought you up,
406 00:21:44 and I've changed my mind!
407 00:21:47 [children] No! No, no, no!
408 00:21:50 Don't you touch those or I'llfucking enter you in Squid Game.
409 00:21:53 Here, darling.
410 00:21:54 - Come, come.- Mum!
411 00:21:56 Why don't we ever say hello?
412 00:21:58 [Bridget] Oh.Important life lesson, darling.
413 00:22:01 Never meet your heroes.
414 00:22:07 [Bridget] Starting today,will not set things on fire,
415 00:22:11 will responsibly reset passwordsnot to include the word "fuckwit,"
416 00:22:15 and will not be frightenedof the school mums...
417 00:22:18 Hi.
418 00:22:20 in particular,Perfect Nicolette...
419 00:22:24 [whistle blows]
420 00:22:25 with her perfect twins.
421 00:22:27 [whistle blowing]
422 00:22:29 Move the car! There's no parkingin front of the school.
423 00:22:32 - How are you?- What?
424 00:22:34 I-I thought you were in LA.
425 00:22:36 - Right.- Mr Walliker?
426 00:22:40 Mr Walliker, Eros tells me he hasn't beenselected for the choir for some reason.
427 00:22:43 - Correct.- Well, how can that be?
428 00:22:45 Because he can't sing. Anythingelse, Mrs Soltani-Watkins?
429 00:22:47 Mr Walliker, if you have failed torecognise Eros's obvious talents,
430 00:22:50 - that's hardly his fault.- It's really quite simple.
431 00:22:52 The choir, like everything elsein nature, is chosen on merit.
432 00:22:55 Yeah, natural selection.
433 00:22:57 If Eros wants to put in the work,he's welcome to audition again.
434 00:22:59 If you'll excuse me.[blows whistle] Bike!
435 00:23:01 - Bike! Not there. Not there.- [scoffs]
436 00:23:03 Who's that?
437 00:23:05 Oh. New science teacher.Mr Walliker.
438 00:23:07 [Bridget] Instant hero.
439 00:23:08 Unbelievably rude.
440 00:23:10 He's awful.
441 00:23:11 Move along, please. Right away!
442 00:23:15 You two! This isn't a stroll onthe heath.
443 00:23:18 You don't see me unfolding deck chairsand unwrapping sandwiches, do you?
444 00:23:22 Move it inside!It's choir in eight minutes.
445 00:23:25 Mr Walliker. Hello.
446 00:23:27 I don't believe we've met.
447 00:23:29 I'm Billy Darcy's mum.
448 00:23:30 The boy about to be diagnosedwith tinnitus.
449 00:23:33 The whistle isan essential tool, Mrs Darcy.
450 00:23:35 Mmm. An essential tool?
451 00:23:37 What an apt description.[chuckles]
452 00:23:42 [blows whistle] Eros! Atticus!
453 00:23:44 If you're late, you will regretit for the rest of your days.
454 00:23:47 - [Eros, Atticus whimper]- Sorry, sir!
455 00:23:50 [bell rings]
456 00:23:55 No!
457 00:23:57 She'll be back later.
458 00:23:58 We have a doctor's appointment.
459 00:24:00 I've got worms!
460 00:24:03 Why is your grannywearing pyjamas?
461 00:24:06 [Bridget] That went well.
462 00:24:10 "G-O-N-O"...
463 00:24:13 [Bridget]That's lovely, darling.
464 00:24:15 - "R-H"...- There you go.
465 00:24:17 One tablet a day forthe entire family,
466 00:24:18 and if her itching doesn't stop,I suggest you get rid of that cat.
467 00:24:22 [clears throat]Have you got some help yet?
468 00:24:24 I know it doesn't look it,but really,
469 00:24:26 - I've got it all in hand.- No, it doesn't look it.
470 00:24:29 Apart from anything else, I'm agynaecologist, not a paediatrician.
471 00:24:32 And whilst I'm happy to step in,you do take my point.
472 00:24:36 If you say "oxygen mask" to meagain, I will hit you with this handbag.
473 00:24:39 I am not afraid of handbags.
474 00:24:41 You need something else to do.
475 00:24:43 You need a reasonto get out of those pyjamas.
476 00:24:45 Well, fashion's neverreally been your thing.
477 00:24:47 - Rude.- Pyjamas are all the rage in Milan.
478 00:24:49 Bridget, in spite of all objectiveevidence to the contrary,
479 00:24:53 you are a bright, talented,brilliant woman.
480 00:24:55 And my professional adviceto you is this.
481 00:24:57 - You need...- No. No, no, no.
482 00:24:59 Please don't tell me to goand have sex.
483 00:25:00 Oh, good Lord, no.
484 00:25:01 [scoffs] No.
485 00:25:04 Read a book.Clean out the kitchen drawers.
486 00:25:06 Leave the pink bitswell enough alone.
487 00:25:08 You'll be ready whenyou're ready.
488 00:25:10 No, my professional adviceto you is this:
489 00:25:12 go back to work.
490 00:25:15 And how's your love life?
491 00:25:17 On fire.
492 00:25:19 "Sy-P-Lis."
493 00:25:26 - [Bridget] Mmm.- Syphilis. Mabel, Syphilis.
494 00:25:29 Syphilis.
495 00:25:30 Mmm. Very good. Very good.
496 00:25:33 And there's some deliciousvegetarian alternatives here too.
497 00:25:36 [both chuckle]
498 00:25:38 Floods, fires and famine.
499 00:25:40 As the world teeters on theedge of climate catastrophe,
500 00:25:43 sausages aren't the only thingwe are grilling today.
501 00:25:46 Environment Secretary SarahGivens joins us after the break.
502 00:25:50 [theme music playing on TV]
503 00:25:53 [phone rings]
504 00:25:54 Hi.
505 00:25:55 Oh, thank God you picked up.
506 00:25:57 - [spits]- What's the matter?
507 00:25:59 They've got the bloody EnvironmentSecretary on in 45 seconds
508 00:26:01 and they've got me asking herquestions about bloody tea bags.
509 00:26:04 "What's the best way to recycletea bags?"
510 00:26:06 "Can you clean surfaceswith tea"...
511 00:26:08 I need you, Bridget!
512 00:26:09 OK. Uh...
513 00:26:11 Ask her... [gasps]
514 00:26:13 Ask her why there were notax breaks for renewable energy
515 00:26:15 - in last week's budget.- Brilliant.
516 00:26:17 She'll fob you off with somecrap about economic constraints
517 00:26:20 and then you nail her on oil and gascompanies ring-fencing their profits.
518 00:26:24 - Yes, I do.- [chuckles] She'll flap!
519 00:26:26 And then you nuke her arse onthe government's support for fracking.
520 00:26:30 [gasps] Ooh.
521 00:26:31 I fracking love you,Bridget Jones.
522 00:26:33 - Hi, Bridge.- Yes!
523 00:26:35 Oh, oh, oh! Do try to find outabout the tea bags though.
524 00:26:39 - Love you. Bye. Bye.- Love you. Bye! [Kisses]
525 00:26:43 Welcome back.
526 00:26:44 Our next guest is.
527 00:26:46 Environment SecretarySarah Givens.
528 00:26:48 Sarah, budget,tax breaks, fracking.
529 00:26:53 Justify.
530 00:26:55 And no fob-off!
531 00:26:59 Could you please put me throughto Richard Finch's office?
532 00:27:03 My name's Bridget Jones.
533 00:27:06 Yeah. I'll hold. Thanks.
534 00:27:11 [sighs]
535 00:27:17 [video game beeps]
536 00:27:24 Billy,I want to watch SpongeBob.
537 00:27:28 Billy, come off that, please.
538 00:27:29 You've had your screen time.
539 00:27:32 One, two...
540 00:27:34 But, Mummy, it's Sunday.
541 00:27:35 No.
542 00:27:36 Can I watch SpongeBob?
543 00:27:37 May I watch SpongeBob.
544 00:27:40 Yes?
545 00:27:41 No, you've got to say,"may I," not "can I."
546 00:27:44 May I watch SpongeBob?
547 00:27:45 - No.- But, Mummy!
548 00:27:47 No, no, no, no.
549 00:27:49 No more screens, either of you.
550 00:27:52 Screens have been proven toshorten attention spans and...
551 00:27:54 - [phone chimes]- Ooh!
552 00:27:56 No.
553 00:27:57 Will you come and practisecricket with me in the garden?
554 00:28:00 Mummy really needs to work,darling. Why don't you play with Mabel?
555 00:28:02 She refuses to hit the ball. Shesays she feels sorry for Ball-y.
556 00:28:05 Ball-y.
557 00:28:07 Darling, please go and playcricket with Billy.
558 00:28:09 I may not!
559 00:28:12 [video game beeps continue]
560 00:28:19 Is it too much to ask to get somebloody peace all by my bloody self
561 00:28:23 for five bloody minutes?
562 00:28:25 [Billy] Internet's down!
563 00:28:26 [Mabel]I want to watch SpongeBob.
564 00:28:28 Tell Billy it's my turn.
565 00:28:30 - [Billy] Mummy!- I don't want to be a mummy right now.
566 00:28:34 [Billy] You had it for ages!
567 00:28:35 [Mabel] I didn't evenhave it today. It's my turn!
568 00:28:38 - [Billy] Mummy!- [Bridget screams]
569 00:28:40 [Billy] There's no Internet!
570 00:28:41 I just want to sit down
571 00:28:44 in echoing silence on my ownfor one moment.
572 00:28:48 - [Billy] Mummy! Mummy!- Just shut up!
573 00:28:51 [clamouring stops]
574 00:28:58 [music playing]
575 00:29:01 [cartoon character 1]Shark bait!
576 00:29:03 Come and get it!
577 00:29:04 - [Billy chuckles]- [chuckles]
578 00:29:06 [cartoon character 2]Okay. You asked for it!
579 00:29:07 Miranda?
580 00:29:09 All right, Bridge?
581 00:29:10 What're you doing here?
582 00:29:12 So I was reading the newspaperin Soho House
583 00:29:15 and it was so, so quiet,you know?
584 00:29:20 I just miss all this.
585 00:29:22 Off milk, stuff, clutter,children, life.
586 00:29:28 Plenty of that here.
587 00:29:30 You don't have any champagne.
588 00:29:31 Top tip:
589 00:29:33 always keep a cold bottleof champagne
590 00:29:36 in the fridge for emergencies.
591 00:29:39 That's excellent advice.
592 00:29:41 Cards on the table,
593 00:29:42 I'm thinkingof unfreezing my eggs.
594 00:29:45 Apparently,everyone is going to Denmark
595 00:29:49 to get sperm.
596 00:29:50 - Oh.- Yeah.
597 00:29:51 But I want what you have.All of this.
598 00:29:55 But Soho House and-and Sundaypapers and cold champagne...
599 00:29:59 You're free, Bridge.
600 00:30:00 You're liberated fromthe tyranny of this.
601 00:30:03 Do you know how manydating apps I use?
602 00:30:07 Could you look sexy?
603 00:30:08 Well, I mean...
604 00:30:10 I might still brush up OKgiven enough time.
605 00:30:13 No, I mean for this photo.
606 00:30:14 [shutter clicks]
607 00:30:16 I've set you up on Tinder.
608 00:30:17 - What?- You're welcome.
609 00:30:19 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no.- Well, I've popped you down as a widow.
610 00:30:21 It's so much more romanticand singular.
611 00:30:23 We all agree it's what you need.
612 00:30:26 [Mabel] What's Tinder?
613 00:30:28 It's...
614 00:30:30 such a lovely day.
615 00:30:33 Who wants to, um,go to the heath?
616 00:30:36 - No, I don't wanna go!- No, SpongeBob!
617 00:30:39 Oh, OK. That's no problem.
618 00:30:41 Uh, sure.
619 00:30:43 Um, you stay here,
620 00:30:44 and I'll just, uh, take thesechocolate buttons. Ooh!
621 00:30:50 - Let's go, nutters!- Can't wait!
622 00:30:53 Children and fresh airand white chocolate buttons.
623 00:30:56 - I feel like Julie Andrews!- [phone beeps]
624 00:30:58 Oh! I just got matchedwith someone.
625 00:31:00 Sorry, Mabel, could you justget off, actually,
626 00:31:02 'cause you're killing my back.
627 00:31:03 Uh, he's on a street corner...in a van.
628 00:31:09 - He looks like Jason Statham...- Mmm.
629 00:31:12 if you squint.
630 00:31:14 In a bit, Bridge.
631 00:31:15 Bye, kids. See you.
632 00:31:17 - [both] Bye!- Bye.
633 00:31:20 [makes whooshing noise]
634 00:31:24 [Bridget] Oh, how everything calmsdown once you're outside in blue skies
635 00:31:28 turning the children intobiddable lemurs.
636 00:31:32 Will obviouslydelete Tinder immediately.
637 00:31:36 But perhapsa very quick look first.
638 00:31:44 Keith?
639 00:31:46 Who are you, Keith?
640 00:31:51 [gasps] Feel suddenly exposed towhole new world hiding in plain sight
641 00:31:55 like Narnia through backof wardrobe,
642 00:31:57 but with lionand witch shagging.
643 00:32:00 [Billy] Mummy!Mabel's stuck up the tree!
644 00:32:03 - How'd she get up there?- [Mabel] Mummy!
645 00:32:05 Coming!
646 00:32:07 [gasps]
647 00:32:11 Okay.
648 00:32:11 No, it's... it's all right.
649 00:32:14 -[Billy] I can't get down either.-It's all right. I'm here.
650 00:32:18 Uh.
651 00:32:19 [Walliker] Billy. Is that you?
652 00:32:21 Oh, no. It's Mr Walliker.
653 00:32:23 Everything all right, Mrs Darcy?
654 00:32:25 [sighs] Yep. Super.
655 00:32:28 Just climbing a tree.
656 00:32:30 - I can see that.- [Bridget chuckles]
657 00:32:32 Having fun?
658 00:32:32 Yes. Yeah, this is really fun.
659 00:32:35 [breathes heavily]
660 00:32:37 - You sure you don't need a hand?- No, no.
661 00:32:40 As Einstein said,
662 00:32:41 "What goes up must come down."
663 00:32:45 - Newton.- Yes.
664 00:32:47 Newton. [Chuckles]
665 00:32:49 We're going to die!
666 00:32:50 No, we're not going to die.We're having fun.
667 00:32:53 [Bridget] We are definitelygoing to die.
668 00:32:55 Clearly you've got thisnicely in hand.
669 00:32:58 Look, there's a policeman.
670 00:33:04 [Bridget] Oh, my God.
671 00:33:05 I've climbed a magical man tree.
672 00:33:09 - Are you stuck?- [Mabel] Yes!
673 00:33:10 No. [Chuckles]
674 00:33:12 - Do they need help?- Apparently not.
675 00:33:16 So, I'll... I'll be off then.
676 00:33:18 Bye-bye.
677 00:33:23 Okay. I'll be off too.
678 00:33:25 Don't go away.
679 00:33:27 [Bridget] No, seriously.Don't go away.
680 00:33:29 Hang on. I'm coming.
681 00:33:33 [heath ranger] Okay. Coming up.
682 00:33:34 [straining]
683 00:33:37 Uh...
684 00:33:38 Hello.
685 00:33:40 [heath ranger]Okay, just... Hang on.
686 00:33:43 - [grunting]- [Bridget strains]
687 00:33:47 Hello.
688 00:33:48 Hi, mate.
689 00:33:49 - Hi, what's your name?- Mabel.
690 00:33:50 - Mabel.- I can't jump down.
691 00:33:52 [Mabel chuckles]
692 00:33:53 Okay. Well, you sit down there.
693 00:33:56 You get comfy, and I'm gonna godown there and catch you, OK?
694 00:34:00 - Okay, you ready?- Yeah.
695 00:34:02 Three, two, one, go!
696 00:34:04 -[Mabel] I did it!-[heath ranger] I've got you. Well done.
697 00:34:07 All right, big man. Your turn.
698 00:34:08 Okay. You got this, mate.There we go.
699 00:34:11 - Next foot.- [Bridget] That's it, darling.
700 00:34:13 [heath ranger] And I've got you.[grunts]
701 00:34:15 Okay, Mum.
702 00:34:17 - Okay.- [squeals]
703 00:34:18 There we go. [Chuckles]
704 00:34:19 - Okay.- Okay.
705 00:34:21 - [chuckles]- [grunts]
706 00:34:23 - You all right?- [chuckling] Yes.
707 00:34:26 Yes. [Chuckles]
708 00:34:28 Okay.
709 00:34:30 Thank you.
710 00:34:33 Thank you.
711 00:34:35 It's all right.
712 00:34:37 Uh, I'm Roxby.But you can call me Roxster.
713 00:34:41 Bridget Jones.
714 00:34:42 But you can call her Mummy.
715 00:34:44 Hmm. Okay.
716 00:34:47 [Roxster] Oh.
717 00:34:49 I think this is yours.
718 00:34:53 Thanks.
719 00:34:56 Anything else I can help with?
720 00:34:57 [Bridget] God, yes.
721 00:34:59 No.
722 00:35:01 Okay.
723 00:35:02 It's nice to meet you, Roxy.[chuckles]
724 00:35:05 It's Roxster.
725 00:35:07 [both chuckle]
726 00:35:09 You too, Bridget Jones.
727 00:35:18 [Bridget] Now obsessedwith tree-rescuing Adonis
728 00:35:21 and reentering world of flirtingsimultaneously with workforce.
729 00:35:25 - Mrs Darcy.- Mr Walliker.
730 00:35:28 Weapon at the ready, I see.[chuckles]
731 00:35:32 Good to see you managed toextricate yourself from that tree.
732 00:35:35 Oh, yes. It's thechildren's favourite game.
733 00:35:38 We're completely obsessed withthe outdoors in our house. [chuckles]
734 00:35:42 Well, I'll have to put you down forour Outward Bound trip next term.
735 00:35:45 Sounds like it'd be right upyour street.
736 00:35:46 [Bridget] Fucking fuck.
737 00:35:48 Yeah. Good.
738 00:35:50 Do you have my slime?I promised I'd show Cosmata.
739 00:35:55 Oh.
740 00:35:58 [Mabel] Hey, those are mine.
741 00:36:00 Give them to me.
742 00:36:02 [Mabel strains]
743 00:36:03 They are actually hers.
744 00:36:07 Well, in that case...
745 00:36:11 [bell rings]
746 00:36:12 [Perfect Nicolette] Bridget!
747 00:36:14 You're dressed properly.
748 00:36:17 Odd.
749 00:36:18 Heading to a meeting.
750 00:36:20 Thinking about going back tomy old job.
751 00:36:22 Oh, a job. Oh, I'll put you downfor Jobs Day then.
752 00:36:25 [Bridget]Fucking fuckety fuck fuck.
753 00:36:27 Yes, absolutely.
754 00:36:30 [speaking French] Celestine,merci. C'est gentil.
755 00:36:32 Actually, do you mindtidying this up a little bit?
756 00:36:35 Sure.
757 00:36:36 Uh, what about the children?Do you have a nanny?
758 00:36:38 Not yet.
759 00:36:40 Oh, I've got the perfect person.She's excellent.
760 00:36:42 She's very pretty, but thatdoesn't matter, Bridget,
761 00:36:44 because you don't havea husband,
762 00:36:46 so it's absolutely immaterial howpretty and perfect she is. [chuckles]
763 00:36:49 - Sounds good.- There we go.
764 00:36:52 - Francesca.- Sorry.
765 00:36:54 Wonderful.
766 00:36:55 It's nothing.I just threw it together.
767 00:36:57 - Ah.- [kisses]
768 00:36:59 Bridget? Your donation?
769 00:37:01 You didn't forget?
770 00:37:03 No. [Chuckles]
771 00:37:05 Certainly not. [Chuckles]
772 00:37:08 Uh, let's see.
773 00:37:11 Here we are.
774 00:37:14 Hummus.
775 00:37:16 And, uh...
776 00:37:23 [Perfect Nicolette] Rice cakes.
777 00:37:25 And look, they've even beenopened already.
778 00:37:29 [chuckles]
779 00:37:30 - Lovely.- [phone beeps]
780 00:37:33 Ah. Her name's Chloe,and she'll be with you at 6:30.
781 00:37:36 [whistle blows]
782 00:37:37 Raef! India! Get inside.
783 00:37:39 That's enough chatting.
784 00:37:42 Bridget Jones.
785 00:37:44 Thank you.
786 00:38:17 Four.
787 00:38:19 [elevator] Four.
788 00:38:34 - Three.- [elevator] Three.
789 00:38:37 Thank you.
790 00:38:41 [Bridget] This is Bridget Jonesabout to
791 00:38:43 go into an actualin-person meeting.
792 00:38:48 - Brenda Jones?- Oh, actually, it's...
793 00:38:51 Bridget Jones, there you are.Excellent. Quick, come with me.
794 00:38:54 - Thank you, Lizzie.- Thanks.
795 00:38:57 Good to see ya.How have you been?
796 00:39:01 You look hot.
797 00:39:02 Oh. Thank you, Richard.[chuckles]
798 00:39:05 But I think you'll find that sortof language is a little outmoded
799 00:39:08 - in the workplace.- No, I mean flustered.
800 00:39:10 Are you going through the, uh,you know?
801 00:39:14 Bridget, let me introduce youto Talitha.
802 00:39:18 [Talitha] Richard, what am Isupposed to do with this, huh?
803 00:39:21 Does it climb?Does it stand on one leg?
804 00:39:23 Does it do cartwheels? It's atortoise. It doesn't do anything.
805 00:39:26 [producer] He can't pull out.Who the fuck does he think he is?
806 00:39:28 Arrogant, self-important prick.
807 00:39:30 Tell that selfish arseholehe can rot in hell.
808 00:39:33 The Dalai Lama's cancelled.
809 00:39:35 Twat. Shit.
810 00:39:37 Okay, we've got an hourtill we're on air.
811 00:39:41 We need a replacement.Let me make a call.
812 00:39:42 I do Krav Maga with Fergie.
813 00:39:44 Duchess or Black Eyed Pea?
814 00:39:45 Duchess. She could be herein 45.
815 00:39:47 Talitha, meet Bridget Jones.Best producer we've ever had.
816 00:39:51 [Bridget] Oh.
817 00:39:52 I'm sure you're very good too.
818 00:39:54 Huge fan.
819 00:39:55 Hold this.
820 00:39:57 Loved your early workfrom Chechnya.
821 00:39:58 [chuckles] Now I'm doingfeatures on incontinent tortoises.
822 00:40:02 Fergie.
823 00:40:03 Are those glutes burning up?
824 00:40:05 Hello.
825 00:40:06 - Hey. Sorry.- Right.
826 00:40:08 Uh, right. Let's get ridof this set, please, now!
827 00:40:12 So, what do you think?
828 00:40:14 Can we lure you back?
829 00:40:15 [Talitha] Fergie's in.
830 00:40:17 Does anyone know how toget tortoise piss out of silk?
831 00:40:21 Blotting and mild detergent.
832 00:40:24 When can I start?
833 00:40:28 [Bridget] Am rejoining ranksof London's employed
834 00:40:31 and meaningfully contributingto society.
835 00:40:34 Can walk with head held high andbe role model for Billy and Mabel,
836 00:40:39 saving them from otherwise certainfuture as alcoholic wards of the state.
837 00:40:46 [Pamela] It's super that thetelevision's invited you back.
838 00:40:49 Of course, I always stayedat home when you were little.
839 00:40:52 [Bridget] Classic Mum.
840 00:40:53 Can't really talk, Mum.
841 00:40:54 I've got to tidy upbefore the nanny gets here.
842 00:40:56 A nanny? Really?
843 00:40:58 Mummy doesn't love us anymore.Ow!
844 00:41:01 [Bridget] Ever since Mum andUna moved into Audsley House,
845 00:41:04 the retirement homewe have to pretend is a hotel,
846 00:41:07 the phone callshave been the same.
847 00:41:09 [Una] Any men on the horizon,Bridget?
848 00:41:11 Well, there's got to be someone.Some people don't mind a widow.
849 00:41:14 [Bridget] Stings a bit.
850 00:41:16 [Pamela] Beggars can'tbe choosers, Bridget.
851 00:41:18 And now, look, we're inthe hotel kitchen
852 00:41:21 - doing salmon in the sous vide.- [phone beeps]
853 00:41:24 I mean, it's basicallyboil-in-the-bag,
854 00:41:26 but everybody's doing itthese days.
855 00:41:29 [Bridget] Roxster.Definite development.
856 00:41:31 [Mum] Cooking's never reallybeen your thing.
857 00:41:33 - [doorbell rings]- Oh, must go. Bye, Mum!
858 00:41:35 [Pamela] Bye, bye.
859 00:41:36 Oh, God, it's her.
860 00:41:40 Hi, I'm Chloe.
861 00:41:43 Hello.
862 00:41:46 [Bridget] What the actual fuck?
863 00:41:48 She looks like a film star.
864 00:41:50 Chloe, this is Mabel.
865 00:41:52 Look, I can play the recorderwith my nose.
866 00:41:54 [plays recorder]
867 00:41:56 Children, this is Chloe.
868 00:41:59 She's going to comeand help with everything.
869 00:42:01 Nicolette mentioned it wouldbe a challenge,
870 00:42:02 - but I've certainly seen worse.- Oh.
871 00:42:05 Oh, and this is Billy,the science genius.
872 00:42:08 Ooh, we mustn't pigeonholechildren. It adds undue pressure.
873 00:42:11 Have you read How To Raisea Self-Driven Child?
874 00:42:14 Oh, yes. It's-It's on my list,
875 00:42:15 so do not spoil the ending.[chuckles]
876 00:42:19 Oh, not to worry, Billy.
877 00:42:20 It's not about the result.It's about the journey.
878 00:42:22 There's something to learnwhether you get an A or a C.
879 00:42:25 [chuckles] Billy has never hada C in...
880 00:42:29 Who did this?
881 00:42:30 Mr Walliker.
882 00:42:32 I drew the earth and the atmosphere,and I put heaven over the top.
883 00:42:35 And Mr Walliker said that heavenwas a religious construct.
884 00:42:38 And he gave me a C.
885 00:42:40 [gasps] Well, Mr Walliker
886 00:42:42 is a whistle-obsessed fascist
887 00:42:45 with all the soul ofa non-stick wok.
888 00:42:48 [Mabel] Where did you hidethe chocolate digestives?
889 00:42:50 - I didn't hide...- [crashing]
890 00:42:54 anything.
891 00:42:55 [dishes crash]
892 00:42:57 Well, plenty to do here.
893 00:43:00 ["Worth It" playing]
894 00:43:02 ♪ If my body was a boatCould you steer that, sailor? ♪
895 00:43:04 ♪ Make it feel Like it's a1960s Hollywood trailer...♪
896 00:43:08 [Bridget] Consumed with guiltre hideously perfect nanny,
897 00:43:11 who children will obviously cometo love more than hopeless mother
898 00:43:14 - without film star hair.- [phone beeps]
899 00:43:16 ♪ Ooh, it's what I needYes, 'cause♪
900 00:43:18 ♪ I could love you♪
901 00:43:23 ♪ If I really wanted to♪
902 00:43:27 ♪ You could beBe my glass of wine♪
903 00:43:31 ♪ When the sun setHelp me exhale all the excess♪
904 00:43:33 ♪ Baby, bae, b-b-baeB-b-baby, would you♪
905 00:43:37 - ♪ Would you make itall right?♪ - [phone beeps]
906 00:43:39 ♪ Or maybe that much better?♪
907 00:43:41 ♪ If you wantedYou could make it♪
908 00:43:43 ♪ All worth it, worth itWorth it, worth it♪
909 00:43:45 ♪ Ooh, when I see the sun risingYou make it that much better♪
910 00:43:50 ♪ So I hope you're gonna make itAll worth it, worth it...♪
911 00:43:53 [Bridget] And texting Roxsterslowly became part of my life.
912 00:43:56 A relationship with nonecessity for actually meeting,
913 00:44:00 or arrangements, or sex,or any real life at all.
914 00:44:04 - In other words, the perfect relationship.- [phone beeps]
915 00:44:09 Is that the tree Adonis?
916 00:44:12 Wait a minute.
917 00:44:14 You wrote to him,"How are you liking Tinder?"
918 00:44:17 Inoffensive, neutral,a bit dull.
919 00:44:20 He replied, "Don't know, onlyjoined it to find you, Bridget Jones."
920 00:44:25 - Shag him now.- Mm-mmm.
921 00:44:27 Then he sent a smiley emoji
922 00:44:30 and then you respondedwith the flag of Greece,
923 00:44:34 an abacus and a duck.
924 00:44:41 I panicked.
925 00:44:42 [customer] Thank you.
926 00:44:43 [checkout operator] Who's next?
927 00:44:45 Do you want to go for a drink?
928 00:44:48 I'm so flattered.
929 00:44:50 Um, but I've got a boyfriend.
930 00:44:52 Well, sort of got a boyfriend.I think.
931 00:44:56 Um, so nice of you to ask,but, um...
932 00:45:01 no, thank you.
933 00:45:03 No, it's part of the meal deal.
934 00:45:08 [Miranda chuckles]
935 00:45:09 [Talitha] Well, this one's easy.
936 00:45:10 You absolutely must go.Obviously.
937 00:45:13 But we've been texting for solong now. I can't meet him.
938 00:45:16 I mean, maybe it's likein Jane Austen's day
939 00:45:18 when they did letter writingfor months and months
940 00:45:20 and then suddenlyjust got married.
941 00:45:21 Bridget, sexting a manthat you just met in a park
942 00:45:25 is nothing likeJane Austen's day.
943 00:45:26 - If you don't shag him, I will.- I can't.
944 00:45:29 There is no possibility of beingnaked with a man at this point in my life.
945 00:45:33 You just need a little rebrand.
946 00:45:35 You'll start by getting a slip.
947 00:45:37 - A slip?- Yeah, with a slip,
948 00:45:38 you can show off your arms,your legs, your décolletage,
949 00:45:41 which are always the last to go.
950 00:45:43 And keep the central area,
951 00:45:44 which one might want to glossover, glossed over.
952 00:45:47 And get a Brazilian.
953 00:45:49 God, no.
954 00:45:50 I like a bitof coverage down there.
955 00:45:52 Or run a comb through itat least.
956 00:45:54 But also, do get a Brazilian.
957 00:45:56 Just dust it. Dust it down.
958 00:45:58 Okay, I'll go!
959 00:46:00 But I'm not going to sleepwith him.
960 00:46:04 [Bridget] Are condomsmeant to be coloured?
961 00:46:07 Is hypersensitive good?
962 00:46:09 Large? Small? Oh.
963 00:46:11 Maybe just purchasea representative selection.
964 00:46:23 - [till beeps]- Regular.
965 00:46:26 Mmm, exotic flavours.
966 00:46:27 [till beeps]
967 00:46:30 Thin feel.
968 00:46:31 [till beeps]
969 00:46:33 - Extra-large.- [till beeps]
970 00:46:36 - [till beeps]- Pleasure Me.
971 00:46:39 - [till beeps]- Lube.
972 00:46:42 - [till beeps]- Pleasure Me again.
973 00:46:54 Enjoy your weekend, Mrs Darcy.
974 00:47:05 Hello, old friend.
975 00:47:15 Hmm.
976 00:47:17 [Bridget] Thanks for havingthe kids tonight.
977 00:47:18 Always a pleasure,never a chore.
978 00:47:20 I'll take them toschool in the morning.
979 00:47:21 So you can stay out as lateas you want.
980 00:47:25 Make up for four years ofno shagging.
981 00:47:28 It's only a drink.
982 00:47:32 Too see-through?
983 00:47:34 Mmm. Definitely.
984 00:47:36 [Bridget sighs] OK.
985 00:47:38 How about this?
986 00:47:42 - [blows kiss]- OK.
987 00:47:44 [Bridget] The reality suddenlycompletely terrifying,
988 00:47:46 and Mark, and insane and flabby.
989 00:47:48 And oh, God, oh, God.
990 00:47:49 I can't.
991 00:47:51 - I really can't.- Oh. What? What?
992 00:47:53 - No, I just can't.- Aw. Hey, you can.
993 00:47:56 You just need to think of it aswidening your circle of friends.
994 00:48:00 That's all.
995 00:48:02 [Shazzer] Hmm?
996 00:48:03 Come on.
997 00:48:05 Put on the dress,get out of here
998 00:48:07 and widen your fucking circle.
999 00:48:28 [Bridget] Oh, God. Look at him.
1000 00:48:30 What if he's perfect?
1001 00:48:42 - Hello.- [chuckles]
1002 00:48:43 Hi.
1003 00:48:46 There's a really great place aroundhere that's been here for forever.
1004 00:48:50 Do you know this area at all?
1005 00:48:51 Mmm, I used to.
1006 00:48:54 Yeah, the, uh, Heath Rangerthing is just a day job.
1007 00:48:58 - And my real passion is garbage.- [chuckles]
1008 00:49:03 Really?
1009 00:49:04 The technical termis garbologist.
1010 00:49:08 I'm a biochemist.Studying to be one.
1011 00:49:11 You're a student.
1012 00:49:13 A late-in-life one, anyway.Yeah.
1013 00:49:15 How late?
1014 00:49:17 I'm 28.
1015 00:49:19 I'm just kidding.
1016 00:49:21 I'm 29.
1017 00:49:23 [Bridget] Fuck.
1018 00:49:24 Is he closer in age to meor to Billy?
1019 00:49:27 What about you?
1020 00:49:29 You are...
1021 00:49:31 Slightly older.
1022 00:49:33 I'm gonna say 35-ish.
1023 00:49:36 Yes.
1024 00:49:38 Bull's-eye.
1025 00:49:40 Let's say 35.
1026 00:49:41 - Mmm. Thirty-five it is.- Mm-hmm.
1027 00:49:45 Is 35 all right?
1028 00:49:46 I think older women,
1029 00:49:48 ever so slightly older women,
1030 00:49:52 have a wiser view on life.
1031 00:49:54 You know,they're more experienced
1032 00:49:56 and more emotionally mature.
1033 00:49:59 [Bridget] Me in a nutshell.
1034 00:50:01 I find that very attractive.
1035 00:50:27 [Bridget] Oh, God. I have no ideahow any of this works anymore.
1036 00:50:32 Is it all right if I kiss you?
1037 00:50:37 [Bridget] Aw.The generation who ask.
1038 00:50:40 I thinkthat would be acceptable.
1039 00:51:27 [breathing heavily]
1040 00:51:34 Give me just one moment.
1041 00:51:36 [chuckles]
1042 00:51:47 Oh, my God.
1043 00:51:51 What are you doing?
1044 00:52:14 ["Toes" playing]
1045 00:52:16 ♪ Put your hand down, boy♪
1046 00:52:19 ♪ Welcome to my zoo♪
1047 00:52:22 ♪ Put your head insideMy big, black wild while♪
1048 00:52:26 ♪ I can still help you♪
1049 00:52:29 ♪ See the snake-baboon♪
1050 00:52:32 ♪ Funky, chic and smooth♪
1051 00:52:35 ♪ Honey, can you spyThe divine ape-swine♪
1052 00:52:39 ♪ 'Cause he can see you♪
1053 00:52:47 I...
1054 00:52:48 You all right?
1055 00:52:49 Yeah. It's just...
1056 00:52:53 Yeah. Okay.
1057 00:52:55 Wow. It's really tight.
1058 00:52:56 [Bridget chuckles]
1059 00:53:00 ♪ I'm a man I'm a twisted fool♪
1060 00:53:04 ♪ My hands are twisted, too...♪
1061 00:53:07 [discordant piano notes]
1062 00:53:09 -[Barney singing] ♪ I aman animal...♪ -Oh, God.
1063 00:53:11 ♪ ...that starts with E♪
1064 00:53:14 - Mabel's.- Ah.
1065 00:53:15 ["Toes" continues playing]
1066 00:53:16 ♪ I'm a man♪
1067 00:53:17 ♪ I'm a twisted fool♪
1068 00:53:20 ♪ My hands are twisted too♪
1069 00:53:23 ♪ Five fingers Two black hooves♪
1070 00:53:26 You make me so hard, baby.
1071 00:53:27 [breathes heavily]You make me hard.
1072 00:53:32 What?
1073 00:53:33 [laughing]
1074 00:53:34 ♪ Got toes and I can smile♪
1075 00:53:36 ♪ I'm crooked but upright♪
1076 00:53:56 [sighs]
1077 00:54:10 [chuckles]
1078 00:54:12 How did that happen?I'm using protection.
1079 00:54:14 [laughing]
1080 00:54:15 ["Pearls" playing]
1081 00:54:16 ♪ La, la, la, la Whoo♪
1082 00:54:22 ♪ I'm so nine-to-five♪
1083 00:54:24 - Hi, Bridge.- Morning.
1084 00:54:26 I've got coffeeand I've got Ricky Gervais's
1085 00:54:27 requests for today's show.
1086 00:54:29 - Seriously? [Gasps]- Yeah.
1087 00:54:31 - It's big.- Yeah.
1088 00:54:33 - A relaxation corner.- Uh-huh.
1089 00:54:36 Three full-length mirrors.
1090 00:54:38 And he'll only use La Merfor some reason?
1091 00:54:41 [chuckles] I know.
1092 00:54:42 - Ooh. Three, please.- [elevator] Three.
1093 00:54:45 Did you have sex last night?
1094 00:54:47 What? No.
1095 00:54:49 ♪ Won't you take a hold of me♪
1096 00:54:51 Sam! Ricky Gervais ison his way in.
1097 00:54:53 And, apparently, he won't drinkEvian, only Icelandic water.
1098 00:54:56 And it's got to have lotsof alkalines.
1099 00:54:59 Or no alkalines.
1100 00:55:01 Um...
1101 00:55:03 Did you have sex last night?
1102 00:55:05 What? No!
1103 00:55:07 ♪ La, la, la, la♪
1104 00:55:09 [grunts] God!
1105 00:55:11 Tape measure, please. Quick.
1106 00:55:13 The cushion can't be more than 40centimetres from the floor for Ricky.
1107 00:55:18 Did you have sex last night?
1108 00:55:23 [groans] Yes. I did. Okay?I did.
1109 00:55:26 I had a full nightof utterly mind-blowing sex
1110 00:55:31 with a tree-rescuing rubbish expert Adoniswho might be slightly younger, probably.
1111 00:55:36 And it was amazing!
1112 00:55:40 Okay?
1113 00:55:42 So what?
1114 00:55:46 [audience applauds]
1115 00:55:51 [cheering]
1116 00:55:52 ♪ Lost in romance♪
1117 00:55:55 ♪ Let's just dance, ooh♪
1118 00:55:58 ♪ Shake it till the pearlsGet lost♪
1119 00:56:00 ♪ La, la, la, la♪
1120 00:56:02 [Bridget] Am not only motherand sexual being,
1121 00:56:04 but also capable working womanat the top of her game.
1122 00:56:08 So take that, Chloe.
1123 00:56:10 I've done the macaroni and cheese,but with butternut squash instead.
1124 00:56:13 It's in the bottom oven. Just needs tomove to the top in about 20 minutes.
1125 00:56:16 Good. Good. Right.
1126 00:56:18 It's just how I would do it.
1127 00:56:20 Um... Oh, Chloe,
1128 00:56:22 uh, it would be really helpful
1129 00:56:24 to have their water bottles donethe night before.
1130 00:56:26 In the fridge. Top right.
1131 00:56:28 Where the expired milk was.
1132 00:56:29 Oh, great. Great. Um...
1133 00:56:33 Billy will need something extrafor snack tomorrow.
1134 00:56:36 - He's got...- Cricket, yeah.
1135 00:56:38 In a snack bag. Labelled.By the bread bin.
1136 00:56:40 - We have a bread bin?- I have to leave, I'm afraid.
1137 00:56:43 Graham and I have tai chion Thursdays.
1138 00:56:45 6:45 sharp, but earlierto get the spot you want.
1139 00:56:48 Oh. [Chuckles] 'Course.
1140 00:56:50 You and Graham enjoyyour tai chi.
1141 00:56:52 Oh, you forgot to leave outBilly's cricket things,
1142 00:56:55 but never mind. I'll do it.
1143 00:56:56 Bag packed by the door.
1144 00:57:00 [sighs deeply]
1145 00:57:02 [Bridget] Nevertheless,
1146 00:57:04 secret to calmer,happier parenting:
1147 00:57:07 - one-night stands.- [doorbell rings]
1148 00:57:11 Although,it wasn't just one night.
1149 00:57:16 Brought a pie.
1150 00:57:18 Hmm.
1151 00:57:19 ["What a Wonderful ThingLove Is" playing]
1152 00:57:23 [Roxster chuckles]
1153 00:57:26 That was funny.
1154 00:57:27 [Bridget] And so,a moment turned into a date,
1155 00:57:31 which turned into a kiss.
1156 00:57:35 Which turned into a night.
1157 00:57:38 ♪ Ooh♪
1158 00:57:40 [Bridget chuckling]
1159 00:57:41 ♪ What a wonderful thing...♪
1160 00:57:46 [Bridget] And the nightturned into a summer.
1161 00:57:50 [Bridget, Roxster chuckling]
1162 00:57:52 ♪ I can seeYou standing there now♪
1163 00:57:56 ♪ And you'reThe prettiest thing♪
1164 00:57:59 ♪ In the crowd♪
1165 00:58:02 ♪ And guess whoBe laughing loud, but me♪
1166 00:58:10 ♪ You made me see the love♪
1167 00:58:16 ♪ That you're giving me♪
1168 00:58:19 ♪ Baby...♪
1169 00:58:21 [laughing]
1170 00:58:23 ♪ Won't you hold my hand?♪
1171 00:58:26 ♪ Just let me know thatI'm your man♪
1172 00:58:31 ♪ And show I'm not ashamed♪
1173 00:58:34 ♪ I walk the floor♪
1174 00:58:37 ♪ When you leave me♪
1175 00:58:41 [whooping]
1176 00:58:43 ♪ Hey, baby♪
1177 00:58:46 ♪ I don't know about you♪
1178 00:58:51 ♪ Let me tell you whatI'm gonna do♪
1179 00:58:56 ♪ I'm gonna try to makeMy dreams come true♪
1180 00:59:01 ♪ With you♪
1181 00:59:04 Morning. Welcome back.
1182 00:59:05 - Good morning, Mr Walliker.- Morning.
1183 00:59:08 - Morning.- Mrs Darcy.
1184 00:59:09 How were your summer holidays?
1185 00:59:11 I have a new daddy now.
1186 00:59:12 His name is Roxster,
1187 00:59:13 and he always gives Mummy
1188 00:59:15 a funny hairstyle inthe morning.
1189 00:59:16 Yes, well. It's notthat funny, is it, Mabel?
1190 00:59:18 It is.
1191 00:59:20 He's not a new daddy.He's just someone.
1192 00:59:25 Off you go.
1193 00:59:28 Well, it seems congratulationsare in order.
1194 00:59:31 [blows whistle] You!
1195 00:59:33 - No. You two. Come on.- Bye, Mum. See you soon. Bye.
1196 00:59:35 [in French]Bisous, bisous, bisous.
1197 00:59:37 Bridget, I emailed youfrom Anguilla about, um...
1198 00:59:39 Jobs Day, yes. I come prepared.
1199 00:59:42 I must say, it's a welcomechange, all... this. [Chuckles]
1200 00:59:48 Thank you. [Chuckles]
1201 00:59:51 [chattering]
1202 00:59:53 [Walliker] All right, everyone.Settle down.
1203 00:59:55 Settle down. Thank you.
1204 00:59:57 Um, so...
1205 00:59:58 Last term, Daveed's dadwas kind enough to talk to us
1206 01:00:02 about being a thoracic surgeon,
1207 01:00:04 and next week,Eugenie's mum will be in
1208 01:00:06 to talk about her roleas a nuclear physicist,
1209 01:00:09 and how it felt to winthe Nobel Prize.
1210 01:00:11 But today, it's Billy's mum.
1211 01:00:14 So, everyone, give a warmwelcome to Mrs Darcy.
1212 01:00:17 [applause]
1213 01:00:22 Hello.
1214 01:00:26 Um. [Clears throat]
1215 01:00:28 I am a television producer.
1216 01:00:31 My mum says televisionis making society rot.
1217 01:00:35 Yes. Well, thank you, Priscilla.
1218 01:00:37 [Bridget] OK.May we have a volunteer?
1219 01:00:40 [sneezes]
1220 01:00:41 Thank you, Esmeralda.
1221 01:00:51 Right.
1222 01:00:52 You can stand here.
1223 01:00:55 Very good.
1224 01:00:57 And you are going tosay things like,
1225 01:01:00 "Ten seconds to air!"
1226 01:01:02 And I am going to bethe interviewer for the day.
1227 01:01:07 Now...
1228 01:01:09 [Bridget grunts]
1229 01:01:12 Just...
1230 01:01:15 [sighs] Right. OK.
1231 01:01:18 Perhaps Mr Walliker could bethe person being interviewed.
1232 01:01:24 Take a seat.
1233 01:01:26 Uh, righto.
1234 01:01:28 Now, topic.
1235 01:01:32 - The life cycle of the fruit fly. Hmm?- [chuckles]
1236 01:01:36 Right, OK.
1237 01:01:39 Ooh. Ten seconds to air!
1238 01:01:44 Hello, this is Bridget Jones,
1239 01:01:45 and I'm delighted to haveMr Walliker on the show today
1240 01:01:49 to help us understandthe life cycle of the fruit fly.
1241 01:01:53 Um, well, it's a...
1242 01:01:55 it's a pleasure to be onthe show.
1243 01:01:57 And, um, thank youfor that question.
1244 01:02:00 Um... [smacks lips]
1245 01:02:01 Well, the, uh, the average...
1246 01:02:03 [stammers]
1247 01:02:04 Thank you.
1248 01:02:06 Uh, the average fly takes about
1249 01:02:08 two weeks to mature
1250 01:02:09 and can live for as longas 40 or 50 days.
1251 01:02:13 And then, like all living things,when it dies, it simply stops.
1252 01:02:16 Cellular shutdown.
1253 01:02:18 It falls, gradually decomposes,
1254 01:02:20 and becomes part ofthe soil system.
1255 01:02:22 But does it really end whenit dies?
1256 01:02:26 Exactly, Mr Walliker.
1257 01:02:28 Surely there's more tothe story.
1258 01:02:32 Um, well. Well, not really.
1259 01:02:37 But, yes. [Chuckles]
1260 01:02:39 After the body of the fruit flystops working,
1261 01:02:44 uh, then the soul ofthe fruit fly
1262 01:02:47 will be able to be free, yes?
1263 01:02:50 And that particular fruit fly
1264 01:02:52 will always, in some senses,be with us.
1265 01:03:00 - The soul of the fruit fly?- Hmm.
1266 01:03:03 There's no evidence for a soul,
1267 01:03:04 but the body is a perfect systemof electrical pulses,
1268 01:03:08 powered by the heart,which is in itself
1269 01:03:11 - a pump, if you will...- The soul, Mr Walliker,
1270 01:03:14 is the essenceof every living thing.
1271 01:03:17 If you thinkwe're simply bits of machinery
1272 01:03:19 that can be switched on or off,
1273 01:03:21 then where does art come from?
1274 01:03:23 Or-Or wonder? Or poetry?
1275 01:03:26 - Or magic?- Magic?
1276 01:03:27 The fruit fly, when it dies,
1277 01:03:29 will stay with its fruit flyfamily forever.
1278 01:03:32 Keep the interview on point,Bridget.
1279 01:03:35 [Walliker]This is utter nonsense.
1280 01:03:36 Our world is governedby laws and fact.
1281 01:03:40 That's our universe.
1282 01:03:42 - And it is rational.- Cut!
1283 01:03:44 I'm a realist, Mrs Darcy.
1284 01:03:46 I believe in what's real.
1285 01:03:48 Cut!
1286 01:03:50 [Bridget]Off to Talitha's birthday.
1287 01:03:52 Are you sure you're OKto stay tonight?
1288 01:03:55 It's Thursday. I thoughtyou and Graham had tai chi.
1289 01:03:58 Won't kill him to miss a week,will it?
1290 01:04:01 He's so uptight.
1291 01:04:04 Oh, you look nice, Bridget.
1292 01:04:06 Oh! [Chuckles]
1293 01:04:08 Ooh. [Chuckling]
1294 01:04:11 Oh, try this.
1295 01:04:19 There.
1296 01:04:21 Thanks, Chloe.
1297 01:04:25 Billy! Mabes!Snacks on the table.
1298 01:04:32 So where is he?Is he not coming?
1299 01:04:35 Oh, it's fine.He must have been held up.
1300 01:04:38 - What? By some sort of rubbish emergency?- Oh.
1301 01:04:41 - Probably had to finish his homework.- [Tom] Stop it.
1302 01:04:43 Hope he gets herebefore story time.
1303 01:04:44 [Bridget] Shut it!
1304 01:04:46 [Tom] Come the fuck on, Bridge.
1305 01:04:48 Does this guy actually exist
1306 01:04:49 or is it, um, like that one time
1307 01:04:52 that you saw Brad Pittat Costa Coffee?
1308 01:04:53 - It was him. It was.- Come on. Really?
1309 01:04:56 - [Miranda] Happy birthday.- Lovely to see you.
1310 01:04:58 What on earth are you holding?
1311 01:05:00 Oh, Petula. [Coos]
1312 01:05:02 A present to myself
1313 01:05:03 and I already prefer herto any human.
1314 01:05:06 [gasps] Oh, hi.
1315 01:05:07 [guests]♪ Happy birthday to you♪
1316 01:05:08 Oh, here. Can you hold my baby
1317 01:05:10 while I feign surprise atthe cake
1318 01:05:12 that I choseand bought for myself.
1319 01:05:15 Oh, look! Look at that!
1320 01:05:17 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Talitha♪
1321 01:05:19 Thank you. Oh, look.
1322 01:05:21 ♪ Happy birthday to you♪
1323 01:05:26 [guests cheering]
1324 01:05:29 [glass clinks]
1325 01:05:31 Thank you.
1326 01:05:32 Thank you all so muchfor coming today
1327 01:05:36 to help me celebrate, well, me.
1328 01:05:40 [guests laughing]
1329 01:05:41 We love you, Talitha.
1330 01:05:42 - [all] Talitha!- [Tom] Talitha! Happy birthday.
1331 01:05:46 Beep, beep. Beep, beep.
1332 01:05:48 [Bridget] Binko Carruthers.
1333 01:05:50 Oh, please don't come over.Please don't.
1334 01:05:52 Beep, beep.
1335 01:05:53 There she is.The famous Bridget Jones.
1336 01:05:57 So I told CosmoI'd take you out for a spin.
1337 01:06:00 How's Friday?
1338 01:06:01 - [barks]- [yelps]
1339 01:06:03 - [Tom] Fuck, no!- [guests clamour]
1340 01:06:06 Jude, get in there. Come on,get the fuck in there! God, help!
1341 01:06:09 Oh, my God. Oh!
1342 01:06:11 -[Talitha] Petula, come on, darling.-[Tom] Petula! Petula!
1343 01:06:13 ["Mad About the Boy" playing]
1344 01:06:14 ♪ I'm mad about the boy♪
1345 01:06:19 ♪ And I know it's stupid♪
1346 01:06:21 ♪ To be mad about the boy♪
1347 01:06:24 Who's that?
1348 01:06:26 ♪ I'm so ashamed of it♪
1349 01:06:28 ♪ But must admitThe sleepless nights I've had♪
1350 01:06:35 ♪ About the boy♪
1351 01:06:38 [gasps]
1352 01:06:40 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh♪
1353 01:06:42 ♪ On the silver screen...♪
1354 01:06:44 [guests cheering]
1355 01:06:47 ♪ He melts my foolish heartIn every single scene ♪
1356 01:06:53 - ♪ Although I'm quite aware...♪- [Talitha gasping]
1357 01:06:56 ♪ That here and thereAre traces...♪
1358 01:06:58 - I think this belongs to you.- Thank you.
1359 01:07:01 ♪ About the boy♪
1360 01:07:07 [party guest whoops]
1361 01:07:08 ♪ Lord knowsI'm not a fool girl♪
1362 01:07:16 - Hello.- Hi.
1363 01:07:17 ♪ I really shouldn't care♪
1364 01:07:23 ♪ Lord knowsI'm not a school girl♪
1365 01:07:28 ♪ Who's in the flurry...♪
1366 01:07:31 Sorry I'm late.Buses were a nightmare.
1367 01:07:33 It's fine.
1368 01:07:36 Oh, I'm so sorry.
1369 01:07:38 She just jumped out of my arms.
1370 01:07:40 Do not apologise.
1371 01:07:43 Oh, my darling.
1372 01:07:45 Let me help you outof those wet clothes.
1373 01:07:46 No. Don't you dare redress him.
1374 01:07:48 - You look gorgeous.- You look gorgeous.
1375 01:07:51 ♪ All because I'm mad♪
1376 01:07:56 ♪ About the boy♪
1377 01:08:01 Now that, my darling,is what I call a rebrand.
1378 01:08:07 Hi. I'm Roxster.
1379 01:08:10 ["Praise You" playing]
1380 01:08:23 [laughing]
1381 01:08:27 ♪ We've come a longLong way together♪
1382 01:08:31 I hope he's up to it, darling.
1383 01:08:33 ♪ Through the hard timesAnd the good♪
1384 01:08:36 ♪ I have to celebrate you Baby♪
1385 01:08:40 ♪ I have to praise you likeI should♪
1386 01:08:44 ♪ I have to praise you♪
1387 01:08:49 ♪ I have to praise you♪
1388 01:08:53 ♪ I have to praise you♪
1389 01:08:55 - Hello.- Oh, fuck off.
1390 01:08:58 ♪ I have to praise you likeI should♪
1391 01:09:02 ♪ I have to praise you♪
1392 01:09:11 ♪ I have to praise you♪
1393 01:09:16 ["I Want a Little SugarIn My Bowl" playing]
1394 01:09:18 ♪ I want a little sugarIn my bowl♪
1395 01:09:23 [Bridget] If there is a God,
1396 01:09:25 I'm sure he had more to dealwith that night
1397 01:09:27 than my personal happiness,
1398 01:09:30 but it did feel like he'd takenthe night off everything else
1399 01:09:33 to focus on me.
1400 01:09:37 But then...
1401 01:09:39 I wish I had a time machine.
1402 01:09:41 ♪ Feel so funny♪
1403 01:09:43 ♪ I feel so sad♪
1404 01:09:48 ♪ What's the matter, baby?♪
1405 01:09:49 [Bridget] A time machine.
1406 01:09:51 ♪ Come on, save my soul♪
1407 01:09:54 [Bridget] In his momentof inebriated joy,
1408 01:09:56 he had given himself away.
1409 01:10:02 ♪ In my bowl♪
1410 01:10:04 [Bridget] It mattered to him.
1411 01:10:06 And with that came the elephantstomping heavily into the room.
1412 01:10:13 [birds chirping]
1413 01:10:26 ["A Little Respect" playing]
1414 01:10:27 ♪ I try to discover...♪
1415 01:10:30 [Talitha]That happens to us all, James.
1416 01:10:31 - [guest speaking]- [audience laughs]
1417 01:10:35 [guest] Oh, I do have about60 naps a day.
1418 01:10:38 [guest, audience laughing]
1419 01:10:39 [guest] Well, 60 in the morningand a nap in the afternoon.
1420 01:10:43 [Talitha] Yeah, but you've got somany interesting characters in this show.
1421 01:10:47 So this show is for...
1422 01:10:49 [Bridget] Ghosting.
1423 01:10:51 The practice of endinga relationship
1424 01:10:52 by suddenly and withoutexplanation
1425 01:10:54 withdrawing fromall communication.
1426 01:10:58 ♪ That you give meNo reason why you...♪
1427 01:11:02 [Bridget] The slow unveiling ofreality and rejection.
1428 01:11:05 ♪ That you give me noThat you give me no♪
1429 01:11:08 ♪ That you give me noThat you give me no...♪
1430 01:11:10 [Bridget] The casual cruelty.
1431 01:11:13 ♪ I hear you calling♪
1432 01:11:19 ♪ Oh, baby, please...♪
1433 01:11:23 - [phone beeps]- [Walliker blowing whistle]
1434 01:11:25 ♪ Give a little respect♪
1435 01:11:29 ♪ To me♪
1436 01:11:35 ♪ What religion or reason♪
1437 01:11:38 ♪ Could cause a manTo forsake his lover?♪
1438 01:11:42 ♪ Don't you tell me no...♪
1439 01:11:44 [Bridget] Do not textwhen ghosted.
1440 01:11:46 ♪ Don't you tell me no Soul...♪
1441 01:11:49 [Bridget]Do not text when drunk.
1442 01:11:52 ♪ I hear you calling♪
1443 01:11:56 ♪ Oh, baby, please♪
1444 01:12:02 ♪ Give a little respect♪
1445 01:12:06 ♪ To me♪
1446 01:12:20 Ghost the bastard back, Bridget.
1447 01:12:22 Just let him disintegrateinto nothingness.
1448 01:12:25 It can be a jungle out there.
1449 01:12:26 Yep. And I'm the giant panda,
1450 01:12:29 sexually obsolete and destinedto be alone forever.
1451 01:12:32 No. You will adapt and survivelike we all do.
1452 01:12:36 I used to be on the cover ofVanity Fairin a flak jacket.
1453 01:12:39 And now I'm on the cover ofGood Housekeepingwith a pavlova.
1454 01:12:42 Cathy...
1455 01:12:44 where's your special stuff?
1456 01:12:47 HD TV wasan extinction-level event
1457 01:12:50 for the fearlesscareer television presenter.
1458 01:12:53 I'm about to usher youinto your next chapter.
1459 01:12:57 [Cathy] Lip serum.I get it on the dark web.
1460 01:13:00 - Is it legal?- Absolutely.
1461 01:13:03 In Venezuela.
1462 01:13:05 Here, take it.
1463 01:13:09 Adapt and survive.
1464 01:13:14 [Bridget] Adapt and survive.
1465 01:13:19 Ooh. Something'sdefinitely happening.
1466 01:13:22 It's either disastrousor totally fantastic.
1467 01:13:25 Mummy!
1468 01:13:28 [slurred] Hi, sweetie.
1469 01:13:30 [Bridget] Shit.What's happening to my voice?
1470 01:13:32 Mabel's shoes are onthe wrong feet.
1471 01:13:33 No. My feet are onthe wrong legs.
1472 01:13:35 [Bridget, Walliker chuckle]
1473 01:13:37 Silly thing.
1474 01:13:39 Mummy, something's wrongwith your mouth.
1475 01:13:43 No.
1476 01:13:44 [chuckles] No, there isn't.
1477 01:13:45 Yes, there is. Look.
1478 01:13:47 Your lipsare all funny right there.
1479 01:13:49 [slurred, lisping]Darling, don't be ridiculous.
1480 01:13:51 All right, Mabel, let's getthese swapped over, shall we?
1481 01:13:56 Out we pop. All right.
1482 01:13:58 I wouldn't do that again ifI were you, Mrs Darcy.
1483 01:14:01 You looked all rightto begin with.
1484 01:14:04 [Walliker] All right.
1485 01:14:06 [laughing] You're tryingto look younger
1486 01:14:08 and the effects have marked similaritiesto those of an elderly stroke victim.
1487 01:14:14 [laughing]
1488 01:14:16 You're actually drooling now.
1489 01:14:21 Oh, dear. [Inhales]
1490 01:14:23 Now, acutely awareas I am of my waiting room
1491 01:14:26 filled to capacitywith actual patients...
1492 01:14:29 not to mention the fact thatI am a gynaecologist
1493 01:14:31 and that particularset of lips is,
1494 01:14:33 as it were, broadly speaking,at the wrong end...
1495 01:14:36 I am nonetheless going toask you the question,
1496 01:14:40 "Bridget, are you OK?"
1497 01:14:42 A simple yes will suffice.
1498 01:14:46 No.
1499 01:14:49 It's all your fault.
1500 01:14:51 [lisping]
1501 01:15:15 [crying]
1502 01:15:21 [paper ripping]
1503 01:15:33 "Twat." Sorry,it's doctor's handwriting.
1504 01:15:35 That's an A,in the middle there.
1505 01:15:37 [sighs] Now, I rather zoned outafter "pyjamas",
1506 01:15:42 but a toy boy is not the answer,Bridget, and nor are big lips.
1507 01:15:46 You're a widow
1508 01:15:48 with two wonderful childrenwho adore you.
1509 01:15:50 You're just trying to cope witha shitty situation.
1510 01:15:52 Embrace the chaos.
1511 01:15:55 That's just a simple allergicreaction to
1512 01:15:57 hydroxymethoxyphenylpropylmethylmethoxybenzofuran
1513 01:16:00 in whatever infernal concoctionyou've smeared on your mouth.
1514 01:16:04 - [whimpers] - [Dr Rawlings]This is an antihistamine.
1515 01:16:07 It'll work straight away.
1516 01:16:10 It's for the lips.
1517 01:16:12 They still haven't inventedanything for being a twat.
1518 01:16:19 [slurping]
1519 01:16:21 [breathing through nose]
1520 01:16:23 [phone rings]
1521 01:16:28 Hello.
1522 01:16:30 [lisping] Yes, this is Bridget.
1523 01:16:33 Of course! Straight away.
1524 01:16:37 Yes, yes.
1525 01:16:44 [Bridget] Daniel.
1526 01:16:47 Well, by all that's holy,
1527 01:16:49 Bridget Jones.
1528 01:16:54 [grunts]
1529 01:16:56 Nice of you to come, Jones.
1530 01:16:58 If I'd known,I'd have worn a tinier nightie.
1531 01:17:01 What happened?
1532 01:17:03 My heart.
1533 01:17:05 Two massive surprises.
1534 01:17:06 One, I have one.Two, it murmurs.
1535 01:17:09 They've, um, had a listenand I don't know.
1536 01:17:12 Are you OK?
1537 01:17:14 Well, I thought I was havinga heart attack.
1538 01:17:16 My whole life passed beforemy eyes.
1539 01:17:18 You actually featuredprominently, Jones.
1540 01:17:20 - Hmm.- All the best bits.
1541 01:17:21 Rome. Mini-break weekend.
1542 01:17:24 Sodomy in Sainsbury's.
1543 01:17:26 [chuckles]
1544 01:17:28 But, uh, mainly,
1545 01:17:30 it was just me wandering upand down the King's Road
1546 01:17:32 trying to twinkleat 20-year-olds.
1547 01:17:33 Mmm.
1548 01:17:35 Perhaps it's an opportunityfor a new beginning.
1549 01:17:40 Brand-new Daniel.
1550 01:17:42 Mmm.
1551 01:17:45 I think I shall stayright here...
1552 01:17:49 until you agree.
1553 01:17:50 Well that is kind of you,Bridge, but, um...
1554 01:17:54 they told me I don't have long.
1555 01:17:55 - What?- No, no, no. Fuck. No, not that.
1556 01:17:58 Well, maybe that.No, they, uh...
1557 01:18:00 they're takingme for some tests in a minute.
1558 01:18:06 The question is, would we sayI've become a fraction tragic?
1559 01:18:10 They asked me to put downmy next of kin.
1560 01:18:14 And the only person I could thinkof who might remotely care was you.
1561 01:18:21 - That's very sweet.- [Daniel] Yeah, but not deliberately.
1562 01:18:23 The point is, Bridge,how have I arrived
1563 01:18:25 at this pointin my life with no kin?
1564 01:18:28 How could I possibly be kinless?
1565 01:18:31 But you're not.You're not kinless.
1566 01:18:34 Well, I haven't seen Enzosince he was two.
1567 01:18:37 And he is now being happilyraised by his mother
1568 01:18:40 and an Italian aristocrat whowears his jumper like a shawl.
1569 01:18:47 So, lucky you, Jones.
1570 01:18:49 Your two,the way they look at you...
1571 01:18:54 just makes one realise...
1572 01:18:59 one's own fuck-ups, really.
1573 01:19:02 The glory of whatmight have been.
1574 01:19:09 [sighs] Did you know...
1575 01:19:12 it was actually quite good
1576 01:19:14 with Gisele at the beginning?[clears throat]
1577 01:19:17 I have to face the fact...
1578 01:19:18 [coughs]
1579 01:19:20 that it may have been,Jones, love.
1580 01:19:25 The real thing.
1581 01:19:26 I still don't know whatshe was so pissed off about.
1582 01:19:29 You shagged her sister.
1583 01:19:30 Once. Massive overreaction.
1584 01:19:33 [Bridget laughing]
1585 01:19:35 God, I love you, Daniel.
1586 01:19:38 Despite your really quiteimpressive
1587 01:19:42 lifelong dedicationto total fuckwittage.
1588 01:19:46 Yeah. [Sighs]
1589 01:19:49 There's a lot I don't know.
1590 01:19:52 An awful lot.
1591 01:19:54 But I do know that my childrenwould give anything at all
1592 01:19:58 to have just one daywith their dad.
1593 01:20:10 - [door opens] - [nurse]Time for your obs, Mr Cleaver.
1594 01:20:13 Oh, right.
1595 01:20:14 And, again,there is really no need
1596 01:20:16 for you to remove your gown.
1597 01:20:19 Sorry.
1598 01:20:20 [nurse] Okey-doke.
1599 01:20:21 God.
1600 01:20:23 Then lights down onthe cooking segment.
1601 01:20:26 Why do I always have to dothe cooking bits?
1602 01:20:29 That chestnut raviolihe cooked last time
1603 01:20:31 was the worst thingI've ever put in my mouth.
1604 01:20:33 I highly doubt that.
1605 01:20:34 And then, Miranda,you cross to the stage.
1606 01:20:38 "And now, on Better Women,a surprise guest." Blah blah.
1607 01:20:42 And lights!
1608 01:20:44 - [cheering]- [music playing]
1609 01:20:45 ♪ Yeah, I'm a fighter♪
1610 01:20:46 ♪ And I made it through♪
1611 01:20:48 ♪ Solid gold survivor That's...♪
1612 01:20:50 - [Bridget] Hold it!- [music stops]
1613 01:20:52 Linus, we've got to practisefollowing her with the lights.
1614 01:20:56 So, uh...
1615 01:20:57 maybe you could dance a bit?Yeah?
1616 01:21:00 - Uh...- [Bridget] OK. Go, Linus!
1617 01:21:03 [music resumes]
1618 01:21:04 ♪ So give me light♪
1619 01:21:06 ♪ You've got to findYour own road...♪
1620 01:21:08 Can you hold that, please? See,you've got to, you know, go for it.
1621 01:21:12 ♪ Help me see...♪
1622 01:21:13 'Cause she's going to,you know...
1623 01:21:15 ♪ And no more lightAnd no more love♪
1624 01:21:17 ♪ It's not over...♪
1625 01:21:19 - [chuckling]- ♪ It's not over♪
1626 01:21:21 ♪ I won't save you whenI'm weak♪
1627 01:21:23 ♪ Only got so much left To give♪
1628 01:21:25 ♪ It's not over♪
1629 01:21:28 ♪ It's not over♪
1630 01:21:29 ♪ Till I'm done...♪
1631 01:21:30 [singer vocalising]
1632 01:21:33 ♪ Till I'm done♪
1633 01:21:34 - [song ends]- [others chuckling]
1634 01:21:36 - See, Linus?- [Roxster] Hi, B.
1635 01:21:39 [Bridget] Oh, shit.
1636 01:21:43 Brought a pie.
1637 01:21:44 - [bell rings]- [crew chattering]
1638 01:21:47 [Roxster] Sorry, theyjust told me to come in.
1639 01:21:51 [Bridget]You disappeared, Roxster.
1640 01:21:54 [Roxster] I know.
1641 01:21:55 I know.
1642 01:22:00 [sighs] I panicked.
1643 01:22:03 I got... I got scared, and I ran.
1644 01:22:07 But I want this.
1645 01:22:10 You.
1646 01:22:12 I thought I wasn't ready,but I am.
1647 01:22:17 I thought I...
1648 01:22:18 I don't know,wanted somebody my own age,
1649 01:22:21 but I don't.
1650 01:22:27 I love you, Bridget.
1651 01:22:33 I'm ready for all of it.
1652 01:22:35 For Billy and Mabel.
1653 01:22:38 And burnt lasagne.
1654 01:22:39 And slime.
1655 01:22:41 [chuckles] And all of it.
1656 01:22:46 [whispers] I promise you,I am ready.
1657 01:22:50 [whispers] I'm not surethat matters.
1658 01:22:55 What do you mean?I don't... I don't understand.
1659 01:22:57 [Bridget, voice breaking]You're so lovely,
1660 01:23:02 and you're going to be
1661 01:23:04 a brilliant partner and dad.
1662 01:23:07 And you're going to discover
1663 01:23:09 all sorts of garbage thatwill change the world.
1664 01:23:12 That's not how it works.
1665 01:23:14 But not with me.
1666 01:23:15 [exhales]
1667 01:23:21 I wish I had a time machine too.
1668 01:23:25 So you could catch up.
1669 01:23:30 Are you... Are you sure?
1670 01:23:34 I am.
1671 01:23:49 I'll keep the pie, if that's OK.
1672 01:23:51 [Bridget chuckles]
1673 01:23:57 Goodbye, Bridget.
1674 01:24:10 [Bridget] Parents' evening.
1675 01:24:12 Is there a worse night forthe single parent?
1676 01:24:16 They call it parents' evening
1677 01:24:18 as if it's a plural.
1678 01:24:20 As if it's a given thatthere's two of us.
1679 01:24:25 Oh, well. Chin up and onward.
1680 01:24:28 [Walliker] Mrs Darcy.
1681 01:24:31 It's good to see you.
1682 01:24:33 Good to be back in the studio.
1683 01:24:37 [chuckles]The great fruit fly debate.
1684 01:24:41 Uh...
1685 01:24:42 Small secret.
1686 01:24:43 It was about 50 timesmore interesting
1687 01:24:45 than thatbloody thoracic surgeon.
1688 01:24:47 And don't get me started onthe physicist.
1689 01:24:49 I mean, they'll hand out Nobelsto anyone these days.
1690 01:24:53 Oh, yeah. [Chuckles]
1691 01:24:55 So, uh, Billy.
1692 01:24:58 Well, he's, um...he's an excellent cricketer.
1693 01:25:01 - Mm-hmm.- You know,
1694 01:25:02 he's a very goodyoung scientist.
1695 01:25:03 He's... he's got a good brain.
1696 01:25:06 He's methodical, hisexperiments are well drawn up.
1697 01:25:10 Look, I mean, it's just, uh...
1698 01:25:12 it's excellent work all round.
1699 01:25:16 - Good.- It's just this, Mrs Darcy. I'm...
1700 01:25:20 I'm a...
1701 01:25:22 I'm a bit concerned about him.
1702 01:25:24 Concerned? Concerned how?What's he done?
1703 01:25:27 No, he hasn't done anything.He's, um...
1704 01:25:30 He's just been a bit, uh...
1705 01:25:33 withdrawn.
1706 01:25:35 Why is he withdrawn?
1707 01:25:36 Everything's been all rightat home?
1708 01:25:38 Yes, yes. It's all fine.
1709 01:25:41 [Walliker]Everything OK with your, um...
1710 01:25:45 - hairdresser?- [sighs]
1711 01:25:47 Him? No, but-but yes. Uh...
1712 01:25:50 He's withdrawn?
1713 01:25:52 - Well, I don't mean to alarm you.- [door opens]
1714 01:25:55 - Sorry about that. Yep, exactly.- [Nicolette] Mr Walliker, sorry, sorry.
1715 01:25:58 We're a couple of minutes early,but these sessions are so short.
1716 01:26:01 And I have more thana few questions for you.
1717 01:26:03 You don't mind, do you, Bridget?
1718 01:26:05 We do have the two boys, so...
1719 01:26:07 Not at all. No. That's...It's fine.
1720 01:26:13 - Mate, I'm gonna have to put you on mute.- [Nicolette] Thank you.
1721 01:26:15 -[Nicolette] Right.-[Victor] I've got parents' evening.
1722 01:26:28 [owl hoots]
1723 01:26:37 [hoots]
1724 01:26:39 Mark Darcy, the leading
1725 01:26:41 international humanitarianrights lawyer,
1726 01:26:44 was killed this morning inthe Darfur region in Sudan.
1727 01:26:47 [reporter] ...a land mine.The 55-year-old was in
1728 01:26:49 the war-torn region afterjoining international efforts...
1729 01:26:51 Mr Darcy was a leadinginternational figure in human rights
1730 01:26:54 and crisis resolution...
1731 01:26:55 [reporter 2]gained global recognition
1732 01:26:57 with the Kafir Aghaniand Eleanor Heaney case,
1733 01:26:59 which, of course, he won.
1734 01:27:01 He leaves behind his wife,Bridget Jones,
1735 01:27:03 and their two young children,Billy and Mabel.
1736 01:27:06 - More on this story as we get it.- [breathes deeply]
1737 01:28:06 [Bridget] Dearest darling Mark,
1738 01:28:10 it's your birthdayon Sunday, and...
1739 01:28:12 [breathes deeply]
1740 01:28:14 I'm just no goodat doing this on my own.
1741 01:28:19 I'm sorry I'm such a bad mother.
1742 01:28:22 I'm sorry I got caught upwith a callow toy boy.
1743 01:28:25 I'm sorry I'm late for schooland that Billy's withdrawn.
1744 01:28:31 They're growing up without you.
1745 01:28:34 How is Billy going to understand
1746 01:28:36 how to be a man withouthis father?
1747 01:28:39 How is Mabel going to liveher life
1748 01:28:41 having never reallyknown you at all?
1749 01:28:44 Please forgive mefor being upset
1750 01:28:46 about anything whichisn't about not having you.
1751 01:28:50 Please help me find a wayto do this
1752 01:28:53 without feeling like I'm ruiningthe most important part of my life.
1753 01:28:59 The only part thatstill has you in it.
1754 01:29:17 I have to put down how many ticketswe need for my Christmas concert.
1755 01:29:20 -Mm-hmm.-Should I put down two? For you and Mabel?
1756 01:29:23 Put three.
1757 01:29:24 Mabel, me and Chloe.
1758 01:29:27 OK. Three.
1759 01:29:30 Finished.
1760 01:29:31 [Billy] Me too.
1761 01:29:35 [Bridget gasps]
1762 01:29:41 Daddy will love these.
1763 01:29:44 They're perfect.
1764 01:29:46 Yes.
1765 01:29:47 Did you write one, Mummy?
1766 01:29:48 I did.
1767 01:29:50 Tomorrow, can we post themto Daddy?
1768 01:29:52 Of course we can.
1769 01:29:54 [chuckles]
1770 01:29:55 [kisses]
1771 01:30:01 [Bridget] And Mark's birthdaycame as it always did...
1772 01:30:06 like all the celebrations,Christmases and anniversaries.
1773 01:30:10 All the love and all the pain.
1774 01:30:18 [exhales]
1775 01:30:20 OK. Ready?
1776 01:30:23 On three.
1777 01:30:25 One, two...
1778 01:30:37 What am I going to do whenI get to...
1779 01:30:39 three.
1780 01:31:24 [Bridget] What I have is whatI love most in the world.
1781 01:31:28 Billy and Mabel.
1782 01:31:30 Just the three of us.
1783 01:31:39 ["Should I Stay or Should I Go"playing]
1784 01:31:41 ♪ Whoo!♪
1785 01:31:43 - [Bridget] Mr Walliker.- Mrs Darcy.
1786 01:31:46 ♪ Darling, you got to let meKnow...♪
1787 01:31:48 [student] Billy!
1788 01:31:49 - [Billy] Hello!- [student 2] Hello!
1789 01:31:51 Ready?
1790 01:31:54 [Bridget, children]♪ If you say that you are mine♪
1791 01:31:58 ♪ I'll be here till the endOf time♪
1792 01:32:02 ♪ So you got to let me know♪
1793 01:32:07 ♪ Should I stay Or should I go?♪
1794 01:32:11 ♪ Should I stayOr should I go now?♪
1795 01:32:15 ♪ Should I stayOr should I go now?♪
1796 01:32:20 ♪ If I go There will be trouble♪
1797 01:32:24 ♪ And if I stayIt will be double♪
1798 01:32:28 ♪ So you gotta let me know♪
1799 01:32:32 ♪ Should I stay Or should I go?♪
1800 01:32:35 Have a good walk, then.
1801 01:32:36 [Walliker] Thank you.
1802 01:32:37 [students] Bye.
1803 01:32:40 All right, come in.
1804 01:32:42 Now...
1805 01:32:46 what this is not is a "walk."
1806 01:32:51 We are about to embark as a team
1807 01:32:53 on an orienteering adventure.
1808 01:32:55 - So do you each have your compasses?- [students] Yes!
1809 01:32:58 - Do you each have your maps?- Yes!
1810 01:33:00 [Walliker] Right then, you knowyour groups. Hands up, Otters!
1811 01:33:03 You'll go along with Mr Collinsand Bikram's mum, Mrs Pasricha.
1812 01:33:07 Billy's mum, Mrs Darcy. You'vedrawn the short straw, I'm afraid.
1813 01:33:11 You'll be joining meand the Ospreys.
1814 01:33:12 Now, this is very important.
1815 01:33:15 Remember to open your eyesand look around.
1816 01:33:21 This is one of the most
1817 01:33:22 beautiful places on earth.
1818 01:33:26 Enjoy it.
1819 01:33:28 Let's go.
1820 01:33:31 - You sure you're up to this, Mrs Darcy?- Absolutely!
1821 01:33:35 I was a Queen's Guide.
1822 01:33:36 - [chuckles]- [Bridget] Got my Pioneer badge.
1823 01:33:39 I can rope, knot,splice and lash.
1824 01:33:43 If you need anything tied up,
1825 01:33:45 I'm your girl. [Groans]
1826 01:33:47 -[Walliker] Right then. Bring up the rear.-[students giggle]
1827 01:33:52 Yes! Bringing up the rear!
1828 01:33:54 Up!
1829 01:33:56 We're gonna seemuch more water than that.
1830 01:33:58 [Bridget] Up the rear!
1831 01:34:01 Yep.
1832 01:34:02 Make sure everybody's with us.
1833 01:34:05 [students chattering]
1834 01:34:17 [Walliker chuckles]
1835 01:34:23 [Walliker] You can seethe second waterfall, can't you?
1836 01:34:27 [children chattering]
1837 01:34:28 Well, those two are together.
1838 01:34:34 [thunder rumbling]
1839 01:34:41 [student shouting]
1840 01:34:42 Coming!
1841 01:34:47 [Walliker] Hurry along. Come on!
1842 01:34:55 - [Walliker] Give me your hand.- Wow. So cool.
1843 01:34:57 OK.
1844 01:35:01 Right.
1845 01:35:03 Is there a Wi-Fi password?
1846 01:35:04 Oh, Atticus, don't be a pillock.
1847 01:35:06 All right, take this tarp
1848 01:35:07 and spread it out on the floorover there, all right?
1849 01:35:09 [Billy] Come on.
1850 01:35:11 [Bridget] It's all right.It's dry. [Chuckles]
1851 01:35:16 [Walliker] Mrs Darcy,could you take that wheelbarrow,
1852 01:35:19 pick up some firewoodfor when the rain stops?
1853 01:35:21 Yep.
1854 01:35:23 [Walliker] All right, everyone.Do your best to get dry.
1855 01:35:29 [Bridget] Ding-fucking-dong.
1856 01:35:31 Whenever you're ready.
1857 01:35:43 [Walliker] Looks likewe'll be here for a while.
1858 01:35:48 [fire crackling]
1859 01:35:57 It reallyis absolutely disgusting.
1860 01:35:59 [chuckles] Burnt to a crisp.
1861 01:36:01 I think you'll findit's a brûlée.
1862 01:36:03 [exhales]
1863 01:36:05 [chuckles]
1864 01:36:07 [Bridget] Come on, then.
1865 01:36:08 Off to Bedfordshire.
1866 01:36:10 [student 4]Goodnight, Mr Walliker.
1867 01:36:12 - [Bridget] Here we are.- [Walliker] Sleep well, team.
1868 01:36:14 - Well done today.- [student 4] Thank you.
1869 01:36:16 Okay. Night night.
1870 01:36:19 Goodnight.
1871 01:36:29 - Mission accomplished.- [Walliker chuckles]
1872 01:36:31 One barnfulof sleeping children.
1873 01:36:34 Don't get me wrong, I'm quiteimpressed by your resourcefulness,
1874 01:36:38 but who travels tothe Lake District
1875 01:36:39 with a backpack fullof marshmallows? [Chuckles]
1876 01:36:42 All parents know the marshmallow
1877 01:36:45 is an essential tool,Mr Walliker.
1878 01:36:48 [both chuckling]
1879 01:36:52 Do you have children?
1880 01:36:54 Uh, no. No, no,I never did any of that.
1881 01:36:58 But, um...
1882 01:37:00 It's funny.In the back of your mind,
1883 01:37:02 you think it might happen,and... [sighs]
1884 01:37:04 But, you know, one day,
1885 01:37:06 you're preparing a testfor a periodic table...
1886 01:37:09 - [chuckles] - ...and you realiseit's the 27th one you've set,
1887 01:37:13 and there's just never been time
1888 01:37:16 to really think about havinganything like a...
1889 01:37:18 like a family in between.
1890 01:37:24 But it's good.
1891 01:37:26 It's good. I, uh...
1892 01:37:28 Well, it suits me.
1893 01:37:31 Mmm.
1894 01:37:33 I see it does.
1895 01:37:35 [both chuckle]
1896 01:37:38 I mean, look at that.
1897 01:37:43 All of it.
1898 01:37:47 You asked me where'sthe wonder and the magic.
1899 01:37:54 It's a good question.
1900 01:37:58 I think it's here.
1901 01:38:00 You don't believe in magic,Mr Walliker.
1902 01:38:03 [Walliker] No.
1903 01:38:06 Well, I've been thinking.
1904 01:38:14 [both chuckle]
1905 01:38:19 [Billy] Mummy?
1906 01:38:20 Atticus is really frightened.
1907 01:38:21 He says his mum sings Puccinito him when he's scared.
1908 01:38:24 Well, he might have to settlefor some early Take That,
1909 01:38:29 but I'll see what I can do,okay?
1910 01:38:33 Mr Walliker,
1911 01:38:34 do you mind if I sit here fora minute?
1912 01:38:36 Of course. Sit down.
1913 01:38:53 - Is there anything you want to...- It's just...
1914 01:38:56 what if I forget him?
1915 01:38:59 I don't wanna forget him.
1916 01:39:01 But what if I do?
1917 01:39:10 Let me tell you this, Billy,um...
1918 01:39:14 Your dad is everywhere.
1919 01:39:20 He's everywhere.
1920 01:39:22 Right now...
1921 01:39:25 in this moment.
1922 01:39:26 And that's a scientific fact.
1923 01:39:30 Energy is only transferred.
1924 01:39:35 It can never be destroyed.
1925 01:39:37 And more importantly,
1926 01:39:39 your father is in you.
1927 01:39:43 And Mabel.
1928 01:39:50 Billy, tell me something...
1929 01:39:54 one thing...
1930 01:39:57 that you remember best
1931 01:39:59 about your dad.
1932 01:40:09 ["Turn on the Lights" plays]
1933 01:40:11 ♪ Another ChristmasIs around the corner♪
1934 01:40:15 ♪ And I can feel us, darlingGetting closer♪
1935 01:40:20 ♪ It's coming down the roadAnd stopping it now♪
1936 01:40:24 ♪ Stopping it nowIs impossible...♪
1937 01:40:28 Can we?
1938 01:40:30 - May we.- Yes.
1939 01:40:31 ♪ I built a snowman outThe back♪
1940 01:40:34 ♪ It came alive And flew meRound this sleepy town♪
1941 01:40:39 ♪ I put an old scarf roundIts neck...♪
1942 01:40:42 [Bridget] Careful!
1943 01:40:43 ♪ And every time You kiss me...♪
1944 01:40:45 [Walliker] Chop-chop.
1945 01:40:46 One, two. One, two.
1946 01:40:47 [Bridget] May I haveyour hot chocolate?
1947 01:40:49 - [Mabel] No. No! Marshmallows!- [Bridget] Yes. Yes.
1948 01:40:52 [Walliker] Mabel, why don't Itake you to your seat? Come on.
1949 01:40:55 - Is that all right?- [Mabel giggles]
1950 01:40:57 [Walliker chuckles]
1951 01:40:58 - Don't dawdle, Mrs Darcy.- No.
1952 01:41:00 Show's starting.
1953 01:41:02 Yes, of course.
1954 01:41:04 [flutes playing, off-key]
1955 01:41:13 [shushes]
1956 01:41:17 - That sounds fantastic.- [Nicolette] Yeah.
1957 01:41:19 I'll see you at Nobu at 7.00.
1958 01:41:21 - Oh, for God's sake, Victor.- [earbud clattering]
1959 01:41:23 Fucking prick.
1960 01:41:28 - [flute ends]- [chuckles]
1961 01:41:30 Bravo! Bravo.
1962 01:41:38 [Walliker] Thank you, Erosand Atticus Soltani-Watkins.
1963 01:41:42 Now, although it's not onthe programme,
1964 01:41:44 we do have one... one more song.
1965 01:41:47 Um, I happen to know it meansa lot to our singer.
1966 01:41:51 And, um... well, this is hisfirst-ever solo performance,
1967 01:41:56 and I know he'lldo himself proud.
1968 01:42:19 ["Anything" playing]
1969 01:42:30 ♪ I'd do anything♪
1970 01:42:34 ♪ For you, dear, anything♪
1971 01:42:39 ♪ For you mean everything♪
1972 01:42:44 ♪ To me♪
1973 01:42:48 ♪ I know that♪
1974 01:42:50 ♪ I'd go anywhere♪
1975 01:42:54 ♪ For your smile, anywhere♪
1976 01:42:59 ♪ For your smile♪
1977 01:43:02 ♪ Everywhere I'd see♪
1978 01:43:08 ♪ Would you climb a hill?♪
1979 01:43:11 - ♪ Anything♪- [audience chuckles]
1980 01:43:13 ♪ Wear a daffodil? Anything♪
1981 01:43:17 ♪ Leave me all your will?Anything♪
1982 01:43:22 ♪ Even fight my Bill?♪
1983 01:43:25 ♪ What? Fisticuffs?♪
1984 01:43:27 - ♪ I'd risk everything♪- [choir harmonising]
1985 01:43:31 ♪ For one kiss, everything♪
1986 01:43:36 ♪ Yes, I'd do anything♪
1987 01:43:41 ♪ Anything♪
1988 01:43:43 ♪ For you♪
1989 01:43:48 [music ends]
1990 01:43:51 [audience applauds]
1991 01:43:56 [cheering]
1992 01:44:00 [Chloe whoops]
1993 01:44:01 Go, Billy!
1994 01:44:07 [Walliker] Bravo!
1995 01:44:15 [applause fades]
1996 01:44:21 [applause silenced]
1997 01:44:43 Oh, my darling.
1998 01:44:45 [sobs]
1999 01:44:47 Daddy would be so proud of you.
2000 01:44:50 I know.
2001 01:44:54 [Walliker]Well done, Billy. You nailed it.
2002 01:44:55 - Were you surprised, Mum?- Yes.
2003 01:44:58 - Genius.- Up top.
2004 01:45:00 [Walliker, Billy chuckle]
2005 01:45:02 - So, can I have a sleepover with Bikram?- Yes.
2006 01:45:05 - And did you bring my...- Yes.
2007 01:45:06 Bikram! Nintendo!
2008 01:45:10 Mr Walliker, Billy was...
2009 01:45:13 The whole thing was...[chuckles]
2010 01:45:16 - It was...- It was magic, Mrs Darcy.
2011 01:45:19 [Bridget] No, it wasn't.
2012 01:45:21 What you've done for Billy...
2013 01:45:23 [stammers]
2014 01:45:24 People talk about moving on likeit means,
2015 01:45:27 you know,leaving something behind,
2016 01:45:29 you know,leaving someone you love behind,
2017 01:45:31 but perhaps it's morethat suddenly you see
2018 01:45:34 you can live at the same timeas all the things you've lost,
2019 01:45:37 and that you can be happyeven without them.
2020 01:45:42 And tonight,I saw my son up there
2021 01:45:45 and I understood forthe first time in four years
2022 01:45:48 that he's going to be okay.
2023 01:45:50 And so, we're going to be okay.
2024 01:45:52 And you did that, Mr Walliker.
2025 01:45:54 It wasn't magic.
2026 01:45:57 It was you.
2027 01:45:59 So, I'll overlook your tendencyto be a little aloof...
2028 01:46:03 Some might call itcondescending.
2029 01:46:05 Supercilious is a good word
2030 01:46:07 and you probably don't hear itenough, but the point is...
2031 01:46:14 thank you.
2032 01:46:17 [Nicolette] Mr Walliker?
2033 01:46:20 We're going toThe Spaniards for a drink.
2034 01:46:23 Um, and if you wanted to come,
2035 01:46:26 well, we'd be there
2036 01:46:29 because that's where we'll be.
2037 01:46:33 [Nicolette] Can't be taught. Can'tbe taught. It was unbelievable.
2038 01:46:37 - Mrs Darcy.- The flautists, an absolute triumph.
2039 01:46:38 [Francesca] One of the bestChristmas shows I've ever seen.
2040 01:46:41 [Nicolette] Christmas shows don'tget much better than that. Extraordinary.
2041 01:46:43 No, it doesn't.Don't look at me like that.
2042 01:46:45 - [Shazzer] Billy! How did it go?- Billy!
2043 01:46:47 - I did a solo.- [Jude] Oh!
2044 01:46:48 Congratulations.
2045 01:46:50 Come here. Have a squidge.
2046 01:46:52 He was brilliant.
2047 01:46:54 -Hello, Mabel. How are you?-[Shazzer] Well done. I bet you were.
2048 01:46:56 - Chloe has a video.- [Tom] You look lovely.
2049 01:46:58 - [Shazzer] There's a video?- [Jude] A video?
2050 01:46:59 [Shazzer] Chloe? Video?
2051 01:47:02 [Tom] Congratulations.
2052 01:47:03 Hi. Uh, four, uh...
2053 01:47:05 large glasses of white wine,please.
2054 01:47:07 [Shazzer] Wine. Wine.
2055 01:47:09 Oh, house white. Party petrol.
2056 01:47:11 - [Billy] Bikram's here!- [server] Your wine, ladies.
2057 01:47:13 - [Chloe] What are you doing down there?- Nothing.
2058 01:47:16 - [Shazzer] Well, there we go.- Congratulations, darling.
2059 01:47:19 - To Billy.- He was wonderful. Billy.
2060 01:47:21 - Absolutely wonderful.- [Shazzer] Yes.
2061 01:47:23 But I can tell you, I... I knewfrom his glow it was a triumph.
2062 01:47:26 - [Bridget chuckles]- No, honestly.
2063 01:47:28 I mean,once you've tasted success...
2064 01:47:30 [Bridget, Shazzer laughing]
2065 01:47:32 [Jude] You had literallyone song, Tom.
2066 01:47:34 Yes, you know,my mother always says
2067 01:47:36 if you've got nothing niceto say, then shut the fuck up.
2068 01:47:39 Your mother's right,so shut the fuck up.
2069 01:47:41 [Shazzer] We should never shutthe fuck up.
2070 01:47:43 Stop telling everyone elseto shut the fuck up.
2071 01:47:45 [Tom] We can, yes.
2072 01:47:47 [chattering within]
2073 01:47:50 - [Billy] No. Come on.- [Bikram] Good overtaking.
2074 01:47:52 No, I didn't. That was him.
2075 01:47:54 Mum. That way.
2076 01:48:03 [Bridget] Mr Walliker!
2077 01:48:06 Aren't you coming in?
2078 01:48:07 Well, actually, I was. I...
2079 01:48:09 I wanted to say somethingto you,
2080 01:48:11 but it's the wrong time.
2081 01:48:13 You're there with everyone,and... [stammers]
2082 01:48:15 I'm better with people about4 foot tall. [Chuckles]
2083 01:48:18 4'1". That's my sweet spot,as it turns out, so...
2084 01:48:23 Where are you going?
2085 01:48:29 Well, look, I really just wantedto discuss Newton.
2086 01:48:32 Newton?
2087 01:48:34 I mean, we already coveredNewton's second law, gravity,
2088 01:48:37 in the tree when you werepretending not to be stuck.
2089 01:48:39 But the one that's alwaysfascinated me isn't the second law.
2090 01:48:43 I mean, any idiot can see thatan apple's gonna fall down.
2091 01:48:46 What's it gonna do, fall up?
2092 01:48:48 It's a hopelessly overrated law,the second.
2093 01:48:50 No, the one that's alwaysinterested me is the third law.
2094 01:48:53 You'll know what that is.
2095 01:48:55 Yes.
2096 01:48:56 [chuckles] Of course. But go on.
2097 01:48:59 For every action, there's anequal and opposite reaction.
2098 01:49:03 It's a fundamental lawof our universe.
2099 01:49:05 It's, uh... It's an inescapablefact of our existence,
2100 01:49:07 and I was coming to say thatyou are...
2101 01:49:11 this force, Mrs Darcy...
2102 01:49:15 to me.
2103 01:49:18 Equal and... opposite.
2104 01:49:21 And just as Newton predicted,it's irresistible.
2105 01:49:28 I see it.
2106 01:49:32 Right now, just standing here,I feel it,
2107 01:49:34 and it's as real to me as thethings I loved when I was a boy
2108 01:49:38 and first started looking atthe world.
2109 01:49:40 You see, it's not really order
2110 01:49:42 that we science peoplefall in love with, Mrs Darcy,
2111 01:49:46 it's the beauty in things.
2112 01:49:50 The beauty,
2113 01:49:52 to be specific...
2114 01:49:57 in you.
2115 01:50:03 Oh.
2116 01:50:06 Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
2117 01:50:08 - I don't know what I was thinking.- No, no.
2118 01:50:10 This is exactly whyI decided not to come in.
2119 01:50:12 I've clearly got entirelythe wrong end of the...
2120 01:50:14 - Mr Walliker...- Look, I just want you to know
2121 01:50:16 that this is not going to beawkward at all. At all.
2122 01:50:17 - Please stop talking. [Shushing]- With Billy and school.
2123 01:50:20 Let's just pretend this neverhappened, please. Let's just...
2124 01:50:39 It was either that or a whistle,
2125 01:50:41 and I haven't got a whistle,Mr Walliker.
2126 01:50:46 Call me Scott, for God's sake.
2127 01:50:50 Yes, Mr Walliker.
2128 01:51:02 ["Am I the Same Girl" playing]
2129 01:51:09 Right, shake it, shake it,shake it. No, go mad.
2130 01:51:12 That's it. Now pour it out.
2131 01:51:15 Very good.
2132 01:51:17 Insert one cherry.
2133 01:51:19 And that, my friends,is how we make a Dirty Bitch.
2134 01:51:24 Christ. That may even bea Filthy Bitch. Pass that round.
2135 01:51:28 Now, similar but not at allthe same,
2136 01:51:31 the Bad Mummy.
2137 01:51:33 Little bit of vodka.
2138 01:51:34 - Yeah?- Come here.
2139 01:51:36 Okay, you're in charge.
2140 01:51:42 [exclaims]
2141 01:51:44 Is that who I think it is?
2142 01:51:45 So they tell me, yeah.What do you think?
2143 01:51:48 [Enzo] You have sad eyes,angelo mio.
2144 01:51:50 Why so sad? They make me sad.
2145 01:51:53 I want to see the smile.
2146 01:51:54 Stop it.
2147 01:51:56 He's 16!
2148 01:51:57 Yeah. Late starter.
2149 01:51:59 [Nicolette] Where in Italyare you from?
2150 01:52:01 - Bologna.- Bologna.
2151 01:52:03 - Yeah.- Say it again.
2152 01:52:04 - Bologna. [Chuckles]- Bologna.
2153 01:52:06 Enzo, the kids are gonna watcha movie upstairs. You coming?
2154 01:52:08 He'll stay.
2155 01:52:11 Boys.
2156 01:52:14 I think you're proud.
2157 01:52:15 Relief, really, Jones.
2158 01:52:17 Kin, as you said.
2159 01:52:20 - Enzo.- Yeah?
2160 01:52:22 [in Italian] Vieni qua.
2161 01:52:23 - I beg your pardon.- Okay.
2162 01:52:25 - Ciao.- Ciao.
2163 01:52:27 [Daniel] This is your hostess
2164 01:52:29 and one of the great loves ofyour father's life, Bridget Jones.
2165 01:52:34 Ooh!
2166 01:52:36 It's nice to meet you, Enzo.
2167 01:52:39 [speaking Italian]
2168 01:52:40 He says it is a great honourto meet you.
2169 01:52:43 - Oh!- [speaking Italian]
2170 01:52:48 And then he says that those are
2171 01:52:51 very, very silly little boots.
2172 01:52:56 You have incredible posture.
2173 01:53:00 You're not Danish, are you?
2174 01:53:01 Well, I can be anythingyou want.
2175 01:53:03 It is, isn't it? I know, andit's working really well for you,
2176 01:53:05 but all I'm saying is maybeit's time for a rebrand.
2177 01:53:07 Have you ever thought abouthaving a pixie cut?
2178 01:53:09 [scoffs] No.
2179 01:53:11 Oh, you have the face for it.
2180 01:53:12 And it's utterly changedmy life. [Chuckles]
2181 01:53:14 Nonsense, Pam.You're perfect just as you are.
2182 01:53:17 Is that a Dirty Bitch?
2183 01:53:19 Steady on.
2184 01:53:21 Oh, yes, please.Yes, thank you very much.
2185 01:53:24 [Shazzer] Thanks.
2186 01:53:25 - [Tom] Just what the doctor ordered.- [Jude] Me too.
2187 01:53:27 - Always. Take a horn.- Give me the fucking horn.
2188 01:53:30 - Thank you, thank you.- [Bridget] Yep.
2189 01:53:32 - Mmm. Oh.- [Tom] Mmm. Mmm.
2190 01:53:35 I'll be honest, I don't know what I'd havedone in the past 20 years without you lot.
2191 01:53:39 - Twenty?- No, it's not. It's thirty?
2192 01:53:41 Yeah, it's more like 30 years,to be honest.
2193 01:53:43 We've had some fucking funthough, haven't we?
2194 01:53:49 We have.
2195 01:53:52 [guests] Ten, nine, eight,
2196 01:53:55 seven, six, five,
2197 01:53:59 four, three,
2198 01:54:02 two, one!
2199 01:54:04 Happy New Year!
2200 01:54:07 - [party blowers blaring]- [guests cheering]
2201 01:54:10 ♪ ...be forgot♪
2202 01:54:12 ♪ And never brought to mind?♪
2203 01:54:15 Happy New Year.
2204 01:54:16 ♪ Should auld acquaintanceBe forgot♪
2205 01:54:21 ♪ For the sakeOf auld lang syne?♪
2206 01:54:25 ♪ For auld lang syne, my dear♪
2207 01:54:29 ♪ For auld lang syne♪
2208 01:54:34 ♪ We'll take a cupOf kindness yet♪
2209 01:54:38 ♪ For the sakeOf auld lang syne♪
2210 01:54:43 [piano flourish]
2211 01:54:44 [playing boogie-woogie piano]
2212 01:54:46 [guests cheering]
2213 01:54:50 [chattering, whooping]
2214 01:54:53 [party blower honking]
2215 01:55:01 [music fades]
2216 01:56:23 [Mabel] I forgot to check.
2217 01:56:30 Look.
2218 01:56:43 [owl hooting]
2219 01:56:59 [Mabel] Goodnight.
2220 01:57:19 Ooh.
2221 01:57:20 Bloody zip.
2222 01:57:23 [sighs]
2223 01:57:25 [groans]
2224 01:57:27 Bastard tyrannical dress people.
2225 01:57:35 I've got it.
2226 01:57:40 Thank you.
2227 01:57:47 Happy New Year.
2228 01:57:48 Happy New Year. [Chuckles]
2229 01:58:26 ["It Isn't Perfect,But It Might Be" playing]
2230 01:58:28 [vocalising]
2231 01:58:32 ♪ I could go back toThe old place ♪
2232 01:58:36 ♪ And write your nameOn every blank page ♪
2233 01:58:39 ♪ But it's a story nowJust a story now ♪
2234 01:58:43 ♪ Just the kind of thing thatYou'd say ♪
2235 01:58:46 ♪ They say no need toLook behind me ♪
2236 01:58:50 ♪ That I can keep youHere beside me ♪
2237 01:58:54 ♪ To make a mess of itTo make the best of it ♪
2238 01:58:57 ♪ It isn't perfectBut it might be ♪
2239 01:59:02 [vocalising]
2240 01:59:09 ♪ There's a lot of groundTo cover ♪
2241 01:59:14 ♪ One foot and then the other ♪
2242 01:59:16 ♪ On my way, my wayTo somewhere new ♪
2243 01:59:24 ♪ A few false startsCan you forgive this ♪
2244 01:59:27 ♪ Cautious carand just bear with it ♪
2245 01:59:31 ♪ While it does whatI thought it couldn't do ♪
2246 01:59:37 ♪ I could go back toThe old place ♪
2247 01:59:40 ♪ And write your nameOn every blank page ♪
2248 01:59:44 ♪ But it's a story nowJust a story now ♪
2249 01:59:48 ♪ Just the kind of thing thatYou'd say ♪
2250 01:59:51 ♪ They say no need toLook behind me ♪
2251 01:59:55 ♪ That I can keep youHere beside me ♪
2252 01:59:58 ♪ To make a mess of itTo make the best of it ♪
2253 02:00:02 ♪ It isn't perfectBut it might be ♪
2254 02:00:07 [vocalising]
2255 02:00:12 ♪ Mmm ♪
2256 02:00:14 ♪ Treading lightlyThinking slightly ♪
2257 02:00:18 ♪ It just might beIt just might be ♪
2258 02:00:21 ♪ Treading lightlyThinking slightly ♪
2259 02:00:25 ♪ It just might beIt just might be ♪
2260 02:00:28 ♪ It just might be ♪
2261 02:00:30 ♪ Oh, I can go back toThe old place ♪
2262 02:00:34 ♪ And write your nameOn every blank page ♪
2263 02:00:38 ♪ But it's a story nowJust a story now ♪
2264 02:00:41 ♪ Just the kind of thing thatYou'd say ♪
2265 02:00:45 ♪ That there's no need toLook behind me ♪
2266 02:00:48 ♪ That I can keep youHere beside me ♪
2267 02:00:52 ♪ To make a mess of itTo make the best of it ♪
2268 02:00:56 ♪ It isn't perfectBut it might be ♪
2269 02:01:00 [vocalising]
2270 02:01:04 ♪ Like it might be ♪
2271 02:01:07 ♪ Like it might be ♪
2272 02:01:10 [vocalising]
2273 02:01:12 ♪ Whoo, whoo ♪
2274 02:01:19 ♪ Might be, might be Might be ♪
2275 02:01:24 ["Have You Met Miss Jones?"[playing]
2276 02:01:34 ♪ "Have you met Miss Jones?" ♪
2277 02:01:38 ♪ Someone said as We shook hands ♪
2278 02:01:42 ♪ She was just Miss Jones To me ♪
2279 02:01:49 ♪ And then I said "Miss Jones ♪"
2280 02:01:54 ♪ You're a girl Who understands ♪
2281 02:01:58 ♪ I'm a man Who must be free" ♪
2282 02:02:04 ♪ And all at onceI lost my breath ♪
2283 02:02:08 ♪ And all at onceWas scared to death ♪
2284 02:02:12 ♪ And all at once ♪
2285 02:02:14 ♪ I owned the earth and sky ♪
2286 02:02:21 ♪ And now I've met Miss Jones ♪
2287 02:02:26 ♪ And we'll keep on meeting'til we die ♪
2288 02:02:31 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2289 02:02:36 ♪ Whoa, fellas ♪
2290 02:03:15 ♪ And all at onceI lost my breath ♪
2291 02:03:18 ♪ And all at onceWas scared to death ♪
2292 02:03:22 ♪ And all at once ♪
2293 02:03:25 ♪ I owned the earth and sky ♪
2294 02:03:32 ♪ Now I've met Miss Jones ♪
2295 02:03:36 ♪ And we'll keep on meeting'til we die ♪
2296 02:03:42 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2297 02:03:46 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2298 02:03:50 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2299 02:03:54 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2300 02:04:05 ♪ Ha! ♪
2301 02:04:09 [music playing]