晶兵总动员 Small Soldiers(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:00:54 Sync : xz
2 00:00:59 GloboTech Industries, long recognizedas the worldwide leader...
3 00:01:02 ... in high-tech weaponry,is now reaching even higher.
4 00:01:06 Under the leadership of CEO, Gil Mars...
5 00:01:08 ... GloboTech engineers are blazing the trailinto tomorrow's most exciting sector.
6 00:01:13 Introducing advancedbattlefield technology...
7 00:01:15 ... into consumer productsfor the whole family.
8 00:01:18 For the first time, you and yours will enjoythe same high quality standards...
9 00:01:22 ... as demanded by the Defense Department,at private sector prices.
10 00:01:26 GloboTech, turning swords into plowsharesfor you and your family.
11 00:01:55 He's here. He's early.
12 00:01:58 He's not supposed to be here yet.He said...
13 00:02:02 Slamfist optimal. Good. Check.
14 00:02:05 Chickens.
15 00:02:08 Let me help you with these.
16 00:02:10 Pretty exciting, huh?
17 00:02:12 I don't know. I think it's kind of sad.
18 00:02:15 Heartland Toys has a long traditionof bringing joy to kids.
19 00:02:18 Gil Mars won't care about that.
20 00:02:20 He's just going to care about profits.
21 00:02:22 I think it sucks.
22 00:02:23 Welcome to Earth. You may not befamiliar with our customs...
23 00:02:26 ...but things work like this down here,in the real world.
24 00:02:29 Well, the real world sucks.
25 00:02:31 It does have its perks.
26 00:02:34 Gentlemen, I'm Ms. Kegel,executive assistant to Mr. Mars.
27 00:02:41 Let me be the first to welcome youto the GloboTech family.
28 00:02:44 Just as he's done with his computer,telecommunications and food divisions...
29 00:02:49 ...Mr. Mars intends to bring his ownpersonal touch to Heartland Play Systems.
30 00:02:54 Well, that's good.
31 00:02:59 All right.
32 00:03:01 These are...
33 00:03:03 Where's everybody else?
34 00:03:05 There is no longer any"everybody else".
35 00:03:07 Mr. Mars, it's an honor...
36 00:03:09 Cut the kiss-ass.After I leave, I won't remember your name.
37 00:03:12 This is Irwin Wayfair.
38 00:03:14 I'm told you two are responsible for this.
39 00:03:17 Yes, sir. That's Flatchoo,he's part of the Belch Brigade.
40 00:03:20 Actually, the whole line was Irwin's idea.
41 00:03:26 Once I did the marketing, it was the mostsuccessful product in company history.
42 00:03:31 That's why I bought the placeand why you two are still onboard.
43 00:03:34 So, let's talk about the future.
44 00:03:43 Okay, these are Gorgonites. They...Hi. How are you today?
45 00:03:47 I'm late.
46 00:03:49 Okay. I drew up some pictures.
47 00:03:52 That's a picture you can have.
48 00:03:56 All right, these are Gorgonites.
49 00:03:59 And this one.
50 00:04:00 This is Archer.He's the grand, noble leader of...
51 00:04:04 Okay, and Troglokhan...
52 00:04:07 ...the navigator who navigates.
53 00:04:10 Okay, they're monstersfrom the land of Gorgon.
54 00:04:14 They've come to our world and are lost.To return to Gorgon...
55 00:04:17 ...they have to learn all about our world.
56 00:04:20 This way, kids can learn and do research...
57 00:04:23 Excuse me. Did you say"learn"?
58 00:04:26 Learn, yeah.
59 00:04:28 Next.
60 00:04:30 Mr. Mars...
61 00:04:33 ...let me introduce you to...
62 00:04:37 ...Major...
63 00:04:41 ...Chip Hazard,leader of the Commando Elite.
64 00:04:48 It's called multimedia, Irwin. Look into it.
65 00:04:54 The future is here.
66 00:04:57 A new age has dawned...
67 00:05:00 ... for action!
68 00:05:09 The world's most awesomehigh-tech fighting force...
69 00:05:12 ... is ready to battle forthe next millennium.
70 00:05:16 Chip Hazard, reporting for duty!
71 00:05:18 Wait. Hold on.
72 00:05:20 Hold on, hold on. Can they really do that?
73 00:05:24 - Do what?- Punch out of the box.
74 00:05:27 No.
75 00:05:28 I didn't think so.
76 00:05:30 There's a disclaimer.Legal says we're completely covered.
77 00:05:33 You know what I'm sick of?
78 00:05:36 Commercials showing truckspopping up on Mount Rushmore...
79 00:05:39 ...and parking on Abraham Lincoln's head.
80 00:05:41 And shampoo commercials that saywomen can look like Claudia Schiffer...
81 00:05:45 ...after one cycle of rinse and repeat.
82 00:05:47 What if these toys actually could talk?
83 00:05:50 What if they could walk?What if they could actually kick ass?
84 00:05:54 Nick Nitro.
85 00:05:55 Toys that are so smartwhen kids play with them...
86 00:05:58 ...they play back.
87 00:05:59 Toys that actually do what they doin the commercials.
88 00:06:04 That's an interesting idea.
89 00:06:05 Forget the"Batteries not included" crap.
90 00:06:07 Put in a lifetime GloboTech lithium cell.
91 00:06:10 They'll run forever.That'll piss off the guys at Eveready.
92 00:06:14 How's this slogan?"The Commando Elite.Anything else is just a toy."
93 00:06:19 "Everything else is just a toy."
94 00:06:21 That's good, too. Sure.
95 00:06:23 Sir?
96 00:06:25 You know, that kind of computing powerdoesn't really seem feasible...
97 00:06:29 Irwin, we're part of GloboTech.We can find the technology.
98 00:06:33 Our missiles can find a bastard 7,000 milesaway and stick a warhead up his ass.
99 00:06:38 This won't be a problem. They're soldiers.What do soldiers need?
100 00:06:42 - Hats?- Camouflage?
101 00:06:45 Ms. Kegel?
102 00:06:46 Enemies, sir.
103 00:06:47 Enemies. See, these hideous,ugly freaks are the enemy...
104 00:06:51 ...and our guys have to find themand vaporize them.
105 00:06:54 No, they're not... Sir?
106 00:06:58 Don't you think that's a bit violent?
107 00:07:00 Exactly. So call it action, not violence.
108 00:07:03 Kids love action. It sells.
109 00:07:05 Besides, what are you worried about?They're only toys.
110 00:07:12 I can't believe this. This is really wrong.
111 00:07:16 It's a total perversion of everythingI designed these Gorgonites to be!
112 00:07:20 Can it, Irwin. This is a golden opportunity.
113 00:07:22 If we pull this off,Mars will be eating out of our hands.
114 00:07:25 By the way, gentlemen...
115 00:07:27 ...Mr. Mars expects the productready for shipment in three months.
116 00:07:30 Three months?
117 00:07:31 No. It takes at least six months.
118 00:07:35 There's product testing and focus...
119 00:07:37 Three months is fine.Tell Mr. Mars they'll be ready then.
120 00:07:40 All right, then.
121 00:07:42 These are your security cards.
122 00:07:43 They give you unlimited accessto all top-secret Globo technology.
123 00:07:47 And these are your individual,secret passwords. Memorize them now.
124 00:07:55 Mine's"Gizmo."
125 00:07:57 I said"secret."
126 00:08:05 Password. Password.What's my password?
127 00:08:14 Gizmo.
128 00:08:19 Let's find us some chips.
129 00:08:24 Some really good chips.
130 00:08:28 A lot of really good chips.
131 00:08:36 The X1000.
132 00:08:39 Hello, Mr. Chips.
133 00:10:42 This looks like a nice store.Look at those toys.
134 00:10:46 Come on, Grandma.This place never has anything good.
135 00:11:16 Hey, Alan.
136 00:11:20 How's the world treating you?
137 00:11:22 - You, Joe, are the highlight of my day.- Jeez, tough break, kid.
138 00:11:25 - New truck?- New owner. See?
139 00:11:31 Soon everything will be ownedby one giant corporation.
140 00:11:34 Then, it's good-bye microbreweries.
141 00:11:36 So, where's your dad? I got his order.
142 00:11:38 He's going out of town tonightfor a seminar.
143 00:11:41 Wait a second. He left you in charge?
144 00:11:43 I was as surprised as you.
145 00:11:46 I think he's starting to trust me again.Or maybe he didn't have a choice.
146 00:11:51 What's the seminar?
147 00:11:53 "How to make a successof your small business."
148 00:11:56 I suggested torching the place.
149 00:11:58 Not a good idea. Arson forensicsnowadays are very sophisticated.
150 00:12:07 "Gorgonites and Commando Elite."
151 00:12:11 What are those?
152 00:12:14 Let's find out.
153 00:12:24 Ten-hut!
154 00:12:26 Major Chip Hazard, reporting for duty, sir!
155 00:12:31 Wow. Voice activated. Not bad.
156 00:12:34 They move, they talk.They got a built-in, two-way radio.
157 00:12:38 "Buy a second commandoand communicate with a friend."
158 00:12:45 Halt! Who goes there?
159 00:12:47 Greetings. I am Archer,emissary of the Gorgonites.
160 00:12:53 Awfully polite for a monster.
161 00:12:55 You never have to replace the battery.That's a good thing.
162 00:13:00 Hey, Joe. Do you think you couldfront me a set of these?
163 00:13:04 What?
164 00:13:05 Sort of lend them to me.You got plenty in the truck.
165 00:13:10 That's Toy World's inventoryfor the month.
166 00:13:12 This order's paid for.
167 00:13:14 I'll pay you back after I sell them.
168 00:13:15 What about your dad's policy, no war toys?
169 00:13:18 Don't worry about my dad.By the time he gets back, they'll be sold.
170 00:13:21 And we'll have made some money for once.
171 00:13:25 I don't know.
172 00:13:28 You're saying that never in your career...
173 00:13:30 ...has anything just fallen offthe back of the truck?
174 00:13:33 I don't like your tone.
175 00:13:35 Sorry.
176 00:13:36 It's too loud.
177 00:13:39 Okay, one whole set.
178 00:13:41 I'll lose the paperwork someplace.
179 00:13:44 - I had better not regret this.- You won't. I swear.
180 00:13:47 And you've got to get them off the truck.
181 00:13:50 - I could get in trouble for this.- No one will know.
182 00:13:53 They better not. These toys don't goon sale officially until Monday.
183 00:13:56 I could loose my job.I could loose my house.
184 00:14:16 Thanks, Joe. I owe you one.
185 00:14:18 You owe me twelve.
186 00:14:22 Good luck, kid.
187 00:14:42 Freeze!
188 00:15:05 I wanted to go to Toy World.
189 00:15:07 Life is full of disappointments.Go look around.
190 00:15:11 His birthday's next week.Mom said I had to take him shopping.
191 00:15:15 Great. What kind of stuff is he into?
192 00:15:18 Dinosaurs, mutants.Anything that maims, kills or destroys.
193 00:15:22 I just got in...
194 00:15:23 You're Alan Abernathy.You moved into the house behind mine.
195 00:15:27 I've heard about you.
196 00:15:29 - You have?- Yeah.
197 00:15:31 How come I never see you after school?
198 00:15:34 I'm kind of stuck here.
199 00:15:36 What kind of toy store is this?
200 00:15:38 It's my dad. He thinks these toys are cool.
201 00:15:42 Too bad nobody else does.
202 00:15:44 The Commando Elite will rid the Earthof the Gorgonites.
203 00:15:48 The Gorgonites are peaceful.We mean no harm.
204 00:15:51 Gorgonite, you are a hideous freak.You will be vaporized.
205 00:15:56 Civilian, declare your allegiance.
206 00:16:01 Cool.
207 00:16:02 I know what I want!
208 00:16:04 I want the soldier! They're walkingand fighting and they're so cool!
209 00:16:11 Where'd they go?
210 00:16:15 What about this one?
211 00:16:17 No, I want the other one.
212 00:16:19 Major Chip Hazard. He's the one.
213 00:16:22 - How much are these?- A lot.
214 00:16:23 Mom and Dad won't buy you one of these.
215 00:16:26 Yes, they will.They buy you those stupid Gwendy dolls.
216 00:16:29 All right, Timmy.
217 00:16:33 Save me one of the buff guys.
218 00:16:35 - And a monster, too.- I don't think so, brat.
219 00:16:37 - I'll find it and hold it till tomorrow.- How about the flame-thrower?
220 00:16:42 - When will I get that toy?- Never, if you don't shut up.
221 00:16:49 Say"hi" once in a while.
222 00:17:13 - Meet death with honor, coward.- There you are.
223 00:17:24 Congratulations. You're practically sold.
224 00:17:28 You, I'm not so sure about.
225 00:17:34 Troglokhan.
226 00:17:41 Punch-it.
227 00:17:45 Oh, man! Dad's ticket!
228 00:17:51 Okay, suitcase...
229 00:17:53 ...briefcase, keys. Keys.Where are my keys?
230 00:17:56 Right where you left them.
231 00:17:58 And where did I leave them?
232 00:18:03 What is wrong with me? What else?
233 00:18:05 Stuart, please, try to relax.
234 00:18:07 Remember why we moved here.To get away from the stress.
235 00:18:12 To eliminate the stress.
236 00:18:14 To...
237 00:18:15 ...exhale...
238 00:18:18 ...the stress.
239 00:18:23 Mom! I know what I want for my birthday.I want a Major Chip Hazard.
240 00:18:28 - Don't upset your father.- Hi, Dad.
241 00:18:30 - Hi, sweetie.- What's up?
242 00:18:32 - AI here was just telling me...- Ed.
243 00:18:34 He was telling me the angleof the Earth's tilt on its axis...
244 00:18:37 ...relative to the orbitof the transmission satellite...
245 00:18:40 ...restricts the placementfor optimum reception.
246 00:18:44 Yeah.
247 00:18:46 In other words, this tree is in the way.
248 00:18:49 Right. Exactly.
249 00:18:52 No problema.
250 00:19:01 Knock that off!
251 00:19:02 Stuart, dish guy says the tree has to go.You don't mind, do you?
252 00:19:06 - Yes, I mind!- What?
253 00:19:09 I said,"yes, I mind!" What the hellare you doing, Phil? This is my tree!
254 00:19:13 Happy to do the work. What are neighborsfor? Isn't the dish a beauty?
255 00:19:19 No. This tree is beautiful.
256 00:19:22 That dish is just one more pieceof techno-crap...
257 00:19:25 ...to go along with the restof your stockpile of techno-crap!
258 00:19:28 You're already pulling so much juice,you got us living in a cancer node.
259 00:19:32 There's never beenany conclusive data linking...
260 00:19:34 Give me that saw, Phil.
261 00:19:36 Stuart, come on.Airplane now, vendetta later.
262 00:19:39 I'll check the zoning laws,but I think they'll prove me right.
263 00:19:50 Hasn't he heard of the dishesthat go on top of your house?
264 00:19:53 Maybe they don't get as many channels.
265 00:19:54 He probably got a deal.
266 00:19:56 Dad!
267 00:19:58 Alan, you're supposed to be in the shop.
268 00:20:02 You forgot your ticket.
269 00:20:04 My ticket.
270 00:20:05 Thank you, son. Way to stay heads up.
271 00:20:08 Occasionally I do something right.
272 00:20:10 I'm out of here.
273 00:20:11 - Hurry but drive carefully.- I'll call you when I get there.
274 00:20:15 Give me a smooch.
275 00:20:17 - Bye-bye. Bye, son.- See you later, Dad.
276 00:20:35 - The door was locked when you left?- Yes.
277 00:20:38 Did you empty the cash register?
278 00:20:40 Both quarters and all six pennies.And I shut off the lights.
279 00:20:43 Just asking.
280 00:20:44 It's possible I make it throughthe entire day without screwing up.
281 00:21:11 What the...
282 00:21:17 How the heck did you get in here?
283 00:21:30 What was it? Halt! Who goes there?
284 00:21:34 Greetings. I am Archer,emissary of the Gorgonites.
285 00:21:39 Sure you are.
286 00:21:42 Beware. There will be no mercy.
287 00:21:44 Is that so?
288 00:21:46 Beware. There will be no mercy.
289 00:21:49 I'll be real careful. Thanks for the advice.
290 00:21:55 Greetings. I am Archer,emissary of the Gorgonites.
291 00:22:00 What is your name?
292 00:22:02 I'm Alan. Now shut up.I have to do my homework.
293 00:22:07 Greetings, Alan-now-shut-up.
294 00:22:10 What did you say?
295 00:22:13 You just said my name, didn't you?
296 00:22:20 Didn't you?
297 00:23:19 Commandos! Ten-hut!
298 00:23:23 Commando Elite, fall in!
299 00:23:40 Sound off, soldiers!
300 00:23:41 Butch Meathook, sniper.Lethal from any distance, sir!
301 00:23:44 Good to have you aboard.
302 00:23:46 Nick Nitro. Demolition is my mission.
303 00:23:49 I served with your father.He was a good man.
304 00:23:51 Brick Bazooka, artillery.Ready to go full bore, sir!
305 00:23:54 Save it for the enemy.
306 00:23:56 Link Static, communications.Awaiting orders, sir!
307 00:23:59 Double up on your rations, Sparky.
308 00:24:02 Kip Killagin, covert insurgent.Sharp as a razor, sir!
309 00:24:06 Let me see that weapon.
310 00:24:09 Standard issue is insufficient.
311 00:24:12 All right, ladies, now listen good.
312 00:24:14 Our mission:Destroy the Gorgonite enemy. Defeat him!
313 00:24:18 Yes, sir!
314 00:24:19 There will be no mercy.
315 00:24:22 Search the area and secure new arms.Commandos, fall out!
316 00:25:39 Gorgon.
317 00:26:07 What the heck are you?
318 00:26:12 You're not like any toy I've ever seen.
319 00:26:16 Come on, speak up.
320 00:26:19 Greetings, Alan-now-shut-up.I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites.
321 00:26:26 I think you're smarterthan you're letting on.
322 00:26:29 I bet you're smart enough to get my nameright. It's Alan. Just Alan. Got it?
323 00:26:35 Greetings, Alan.
324 00:26:37 I knew it. Walk to the end of the table.
325 00:26:43 Don't play dumb with me.
326 00:26:44 You know what I'm saying.
327 00:26:59 Alan, friend of Archer.
328 00:27:01 Defender of all Gorgonites.Keeper of Encarta.
329 00:27:05 Keeper of Encarta?
330 00:27:09 You were using my computer?
331 00:27:12 If I find a virus in there,you're headed for the microwave.
332 00:27:16 Beware. There will be no mercy.
333 00:27:20 Are you threatening me?
334 00:27:21 The Gorgonites must be free.There will be no mercy.
335 00:27:32 Soldiers, no poor sap ever won a warby dying for his country.
336 00:27:37 He won it by being all that he can be.
337 00:27:40 Damn the torpedoes or give me death!
338 00:27:44 Eternal vigilance is the price of duty.
339 00:27:47 And to the victors go the spoils.So, remember...
340 00:27:51 ...you are the best of the bestof the few and the proud!
341 00:27:55 So, ask not what your countrycan do for you...
342 00:27:57 ...only regret that you havebut one life to live.
343 00:28:01 The war against the Gorgoniteswill be won!
344 00:28:06 Commando Elite, let the first shot be fired!
345 00:28:09 Search out the Gorgonitesand frag them all!
346 00:28:12 Attack!
347 00:28:15 Get him! Jump on him!
348 00:28:16 Plastic at twelve o'clock!
349 00:28:22 Archer, where are you, anyway?
350 00:28:29 I am in so much trouble.
351 00:28:32 There will be no mercy.
352 00:28:37 This is what you meant?
353 00:28:40 How could toys do this?
354 00:28:48 Alas, poor Troglokhan.
355 00:28:50 I'm sorry, Archer.That's all the pieces I could find.
356 00:28:55 The Commando Elitehave destroyed Troglokhan.
357 00:28:58 What about the other Gorgonites?And where are the Commandos?
358 00:29:10 Hi. We're closed. See the sign?
359 00:29:13 I'll be quick. I just came for Major Chipand the monster.
360 00:29:16 I can't sell you them. Sorry.
361 00:29:18 But you're the only store that has them.
362 00:29:20 The toys are gone, all right?
363 00:29:23 Well, what about him?
364 00:29:26 Him. He's defective...
365 00:29:30 ...and the rest were stolen.
366 00:29:33 That's too bad.
367 00:29:37 Alan...
368 00:29:38 ...we must find the...
369 00:29:41 Oh, my God.
370 00:29:44 Who did this?
371 00:29:50 Are you pullingsome kind of insurance scam?
372 00:29:53 I swear, I did one thing wrong.That's it! And I'm branded for life.
373 00:29:58 So, it is true.
374 00:30:01 I heard your parents moved here becauseyou got kicked out of ten different schools.
375 00:30:05 I did not.
376 00:30:07 No?
377 00:30:15 It was two.
378 00:30:16 Only two.
379 00:30:23 So...
380 00:30:26 ...you need some help?
381 00:30:29 - Alan, can I talk now?- No.
382 00:30:34 I can't believe they broke my dad's radio.
383 00:30:39 Do you ever watch that show,Family of Five?
384 00:30:41 Sure.
385 00:30:43 You like it?
386 00:30:45 It's okay.
387 00:30:46 Thank God! Me, neither.I hate it. It's so lame.
388 00:30:49 I'm sick of hearing it's so great.
389 00:30:51 I can't stand the parents. They're so nice.
390 00:30:53 - The worst. Where do these go?- Over there.
391 00:30:58 I'm more of an X- Files guy myself.
392 00:31:01 "The truth is out there," Alan.
393 00:31:05 You like Led Zeppelin?
394 00:31:07 Yeah, they're the greatest.
395 00:31:10 They're my favorite band.
396 00:31:13 You're not like other girls.
397 00:31:16 I know.
398 00:31:25 I can't believe we've finished.It took less time than I thought.
399 00:31:29 And the boat looks great.
400 00:31:31 It wasn't that messed up.The mast was the hardest part.
401 00:31:34 He'll never know.
402 00:31:37 So, what did you do?
403 00:31:41 Come on, Alan.I've heard the story ten times already.
404 00:31:44 Don't deny it. They sayyou're a real terror.
405 00:31:47 Yeah, that's me, a real terror.
406 00:31:51 I did some graffiti, floodedthe faculty bathroom. Stuff like that.
407 00:31:54 My shrink told my parentsI was"acting out."
408 00:31:57 I heard you called a bomb scareon Parents' Day.
409 00:32:00 That's when I got caught.
410 00:32:02 Bummer.
411 00:32:04 I got put on probation for a while.
412 00:32:06 But that was a long time ago.I'm a totally different person now.
413 00:32:10 Sure.
414 00:32:11 No, really.
415 00:32:12 Hey, Alan, how's it going?
416 00:32:16 Dad.
417 00:32:17 I was on my way home from the airport.I thought I'd stop to say hello.
418 00:32:21 - And check up on me?- And check up on you.
419 00:32:23 Of course. That's my job.Me Dad, you son, right?
420 00:32:27 - This is Christy.- Hi.
421 00:32:29 - From next door.- Hello.
422 00:32:32 - Alan, what happened here?- Nothing.
423 00:32:36 Nothing happened.
424 00:32:39 Really?
425 00:32:42 Then, how do you explain this?
426 00:32:45 I was dusting it and it fell over.
427 00:32:47 Dusting with what, a croquet mallet?
428 00:32:51 I should go.
429 00:32:53 I almost forgot my stuff.
430 00:32:59 Bye, Alan.
431 00:33:03 You go home, too. I'll close up.
432 00:33:06 - I can do it.- Obviously you can't. Go home.
433 00:33:22 I'm really sorry about that.
434 00:33:24 I have parents, too.If that's all he sees, you got off lucky.
435 00:33:28 - Here are your toys.- Thanks.
436 00:33:33 What happened? I thoughtyou were coming by practice today.
437 00:33:36 Sorry. Something else came up.
438 00:33:38 I know you. You're the kidwho set his old school on fire, right?
439 00:33:42 Yeah, just to watch it burn.
440 00:33:44 Whatever.
441 00:33:46 We got a scrimmage with the JV.Come on, you can cheer me on.
442 00:33:50 Great.
443 00:33:58 See you later.
444 00:34:03 Let's see...
445 00:34:07 What do I need?
446 00:34:09 Coping saw.
447 00:34:18 I don't believe it!
448 00:34:28 - Alan, we must...- Shut up!
449 00:34:31 - The Gorgonites...- You're nothing but trouble.
450 00:34:46 Link Static to command post.
451 00:34:48 Have targeted single Gorgonitewith civilian escort.
452 00:34:53 Approaching your position. Over.
453 00:34:56 Roger, Private Static. Copy that.
454 00:34:59 Brick Bazooka, front and center.
455 00:35:01 Prepare for assault, Sergeant.
456 00:35:06 Don't fire till you seethe whites of his eyes.
457 00:35:10 Prepare to fire the bazooka.
458 00:35:15 Fire!
459 00:35:31 Gorgonite K9 corps.
460 00:35:37 Watch it. I'll have your dog tags.
461 00:35:42 What are you doing here?
462 00:35:46 Go home.
463 00:35:54 Coming up.
464 00:35:57 Hand over hand.
465 00:36:01 I'm coming for you, Gorgonite.
466 00:36:29 Damn potholes.
467 00:36:31 Command post to Brick Bazooka. Report.
468 00:36:36 Repeat, this is command post. Report.
469 00:36:39 Brick Bazooka reporting.
470 00:36:43 Target escapeden route to enemy stronghold.
471 00:36:48 I'm pretty messed up, sir.
472 00:36:50 Hold on, son. We're on our way.
473 00:36:55 Wrong gauge.
474 00:36:56 Insert tab A into slot B.
475 00:36:58 Turn until click.
476 00:37:00 Bite the bullet, pal. It'll be okay.
477 00:37:03 Here's the tape.
478 00:37:06 Go ahead, kid. Let it out.
479 00:37:16 It's a small world after all.
480 00:37:22 Hello, Heartland Play Systems.How may I help you?
481 00:37:26 Yes, I'm having some troublewith one of your...
482 00:37:29 What is the name of the toyand the nature of the problem?
483 00:37:32 The toys are the Gorgonites.
484 00:37:35 There are no more Gorgonites.
485 00:37:37 And the Commando Elite.
486 00:37:39 They are the mortal enemiesof the Gorgonites.
487 00:37:41 And what is the problem?
488 00:37:43 The Commandos wrecked my dad's storeand destroyed the Gorgonites!
489 00:37:46 The Commando Elite are designedto fight the Gorgonites.
490 00:37:49 No, they destroyed themand now they're gone!
491 00:37:52 I'm sorry, but Heartland Play Systemsdoes not replace lost toys.
492 00:37:55 I didn't lose them!Is there a machine I can talk to?
493 00:37:58 Just transfer me to a machine!
494 00:38:00 Have a nice day, ma'am.
495 00:38:02 I'm not a ma'am!
496 00:38:05 Please state the name of your toyand nature of your problem.
497 00:38:08 Your damn Commando Elitewrecked my dad's store...
498 00:38:11 ...destroyed the super Gorgonitesand ran off! Got it? Lawsuit! Got that?
499 00:38:17 Alan Abernathy, 330-555-0125.
500 00:38:22 Destroy Gorgonites.
501 00:38:24 Shut up!
502 00:38:32 Alan.
503 00:38:33 Don't talk to me!
504 00:38:37 Not a word!
505 00:38:47 On Monday morning, at 0900 hours...
506 00:38:49 ... 250,000 Commandos and 250,000Gorgonites will fight side by side...
507 00:38:54 ... with children everywhere,trying to separate mommy and daddy...
508 00:38:57 ... from the money in their wallets.
509 00:39:02 Larry.
510 00:39:06 Now, listen to this.
511 00:39:08 They cover 100 merchandise licenseesfor the next two months.
512 00:39:12 You won't be able to turn on a TV,board a bus...
513 00:39:14 ... open a lunch box,or put on your own underwear...
514 00:39:17 ... without seeing the Gorgonitesraging war with the Commando Elite!
515 00:39:22 What do you think of that, Mr. Mars?
516 00:39:26 It's a start.
517 00:39:29 Larry.
518 00:39:31 Larry, folks.
519 00:39:39 We have to talk.
520 00:39:41 We have a big problem. It's urgent.
521 00:39:43 What are you doing here? Stop it.
522 00:39:48 Alan Abernathy, 330-555-0...
523 00:39:52 That's where voice mail cut him off.
524 00:39:54 - It's not a problem.- It's not?
525 00:39:56 These things go on sale Monday.How did this kid get hold of them?
526 00:40:00 It's industrial espionage.I got two words for you: Counter suit.
527 00:40:04 One word: Countersuit. Two words.
528 00:40:07 It's two words, Larry!
529 00:40:09 What if this kid's telling the truth?
530 00:40:11 We can't have toys out on the marketthat may be dangerous.
531 00:40:15 How can they be dangerous?Everything on them is standard.
532 00:40:17 The design is standard,the materials are standard...
533 00:40:20 ...the mechanicals are standard.Even the...
534 00:40:23 Oh.
535 00:40:24 What's,"Oh"?
536 00:40:26 What?
537 00:40:26 - You just said,"Oh."- No, I said,"Oh."
538 00:40:29 "Oh" like,"That's interesting"or like,"We're screwed"?
539 00:40:32 No. I mean, hey, whoa, oh.
540 00:40:35 Forget the"Oh". I'll go to legalto start on the countersuit.
541 00:40:38 The chips!
542 00:40:40 That's the"Oh."
543 00:40:42 These microprocessing chips.
544 00:40:44 What do they doand where did you get them from?
545 00:40:47 They microprocess. And they come fromthe land of I Saved Your Job.
546 00:40:58 They were designedfor the Defense Department.
547 00:41:01 You put munitions chips in toys?
548 00:41:11 Archer...
549 00:41:15 ... emissary of the Gorgonites.
550 00:41:20 Where are you?
551 00:41:25 Beware. There will be no mercy.
552 00:41:29 We're lost. We need to find our homeland.
553 00:41:32 Yeah, our homeland.
554 00:41:37 We're in trouble. Please find us.
555 00:41:40 You've got to help us find Goron.
556 00:41:42 Goron?
557 00:41:43 It's "Gorgon", moron.
558 00:41:49 I hope he comes. We're no matchfor the awesome Commandos.
559 00:41:53 Yeah, everything else is just a toy.
560 00:41:57 Kitty, kitty, kitty.
561 00:42:05 Grab him! Hold him down!
562 00:42:07 Get that leg!
563 00:42:12 String him up!
564 00:42:14 Tell us what we want to know.
565 00:42:19 I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites.
566 00:42:22 Archer?
567 00:42:24 Where are the rest of the Gorgonite scum?
568 00:42:28 We have ways of making you talk.
569 00:42:33 Make it easy on yourself.If you tell us, we'll let you go.
570 00:42:36 It will go easier for you if you cooperate.
571 00:42:39 I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites.
572 00:42:42 All right. Let's dispose of this garbage.
573 00:42:48 It's the kid.
574 00:42:50 Commandos, pull back!Retrograde movement!
575 00:43:09 - Give me that!- That's mine, punk!
576 00:43:13 Surrender, Gorgonite ally.
577 00:43:17 You just met your match.
578 00:43:19 Oh, yeah?
579 00:43:20 Surrender or die!
580 00:43:25 Medic! Medic!
581 00:43:31 Medic!
582 00:43:34 Come on out!
583 00:43:36 Alan, what the hell is going on here?
584 00:43:40 Medic!
585 00:43:41 Alan, your hand! What happened?
586 00:43:43 How did you cut your hand?And what are you doing down here?
587 00:43:48 Mom, Dad, it's okay.
588 00:43:53 While you were gone,I bought some soldier toys from Joe.
589 00:43:56 I figured I could sell thembefore you got back.
590 00:43:58 And for once, I would have madethe store a little money.
591 00:44:01 I know it was the wrong thing to do.I'm sorry.
592 00:44:05 There, I said it.
593 00:44:09 Okay.
594 00:44:11 I think it's very honest of youto tell the truth.
595 00:44:16 So, you pawned my woodworking toolsso you could pay Joe?
596 00:44:20 No! I'm pretty sure the toys took them.
597 00:44:23 What?
598 00:44:25 The toys.
599 00:44:27 Are you trying to upset me?
600 00:44:29 I mean, are you deliberately making...
601 00:44:33 - What was the word? Projected...- Aggression.
602 00:44:36 - Projected aggression...- It's not aggression!
603 00:44:38 It's these toys!It's like they're alive. Look.
604 00:44:43 Come on, Archer. Back me up here.
605 00:44:47 Say something.
606 00:44:50 Halt! Who goes there? Talk to me!
607 00:44:52 Alan, please.
608 00:44:55 I need to ask you this. Are you on crank?
609 00:44:58 No!
610 00:44:59 Then is it crystal meth, tar, smack?We need to know!
611 00:45:03 No, I'm not on drugs! It's these soldiers!
612 00:45:06 All right, that's it! Stop it.
613 00:45:08 I mean, Alan...
614 00:45:10 ...I am...
615 00:45:13 ...at a loss.
616 00:45:18 You! Why didn't you say anything?
617 00:45:21 Shut up! Don't talk to me! Not a word!
618 00:45:25 Wise guy. I should shred the bunch of you.
619 00:45:28 My dad thinks I'm insane.Christy thinks I'm an idiot...
620 00:45:31 ...and when Joe finds outI can't pay him back, he'll break my legs.
621 00:45:35 The Gorgonites are not destroyed.
622 00:45:38 What?
623 00:45:39 Major Hazard seeks the location of theGorgonite scum. They are not destroyed.
624 00:45:45 'Cause if the Commandos destroyed themthey wouldn't be looking for them.
625 00:45:51 All right, where are they?
626 00:45:53 My Gorgonite brothers are doingwhat the Gorgonites do best:
627 00:45:57 They are hiding.
628 00:46:07 Commando Elite, fall in!
629 00:46:09 Sir! Yes, sir!
630 00:46:12 We have met the enemy.He is big. He is fast.
631 00:46:16 He has allied himselfwith the Gorgonite scum.
632 00:46:19 The rules of engagement have changed.Private Static!
633 00:46:24 Damn!
634 00:46:29 This place is a gold mine.
635 00:46:31 Holy smokes. Look at all this hardware.
636 00:46:35 Technological superiority.
637 00:46:38 Dibs on the chain saw.
638 00:46:47 Falling in, sir.
639 00:46:53 Out of the way.
640 00:46:58 It's only a flesh wound, sir.
641 00:47:02 Rest easy. You've done your job.
642 00:47:06 Did we win?
643 00:47:09 We will.
644 00:47:12 Nick Nitro's battery has run out.
645 00:47:14 But his memory will keep goingand going and going.
646 00:47:18 His death will be avenged.
647 00:47:25 Commandos, secure the perimeter!Tap all communications!
648 00:47:29 Roll some armor! We got us a war to win.
649 00:47:32 If it launches, lacerates or detonates...
650 00:47:35 ...I want it mobile and I want it lethal!
651 00:47:38 Sir! Yes, sir!
652 00:47:46 They're not in the storeroom,they're not here.
653 00:47:48 Monsters shouldn't be hidingbut fighting Commandos.
654 00:47:50 We would lose.
655 00:47:52 It is what we were programmed to do.
656 00:47:54 Hide and lose?Those are some great options.
657 00:48:00 If I was a Gorgonite, where would I be?
658 00:48:02 I'm hiding because I'm a loser.I've got zero self-esteem...
659 00:48:08 ...and my brain's the size of a peanut.
660 00:48:11 Where would I be?
661 00:48:27 This is so gross.
662 00:48:30 Hello. Is anybody in there?
663 00:48:37 Ocula.
664 00:48:39 - What was that?- It's the Gorgonites.
665 00:48:44 Ocula.
666 00:48:46 Punch-it. Scratch-it.
667 00:48:50 Great to be back.But seriously, what a dump.
668 00:48:53 Insaniac.
669 00:48:55 Are you a kid or oil painting?
670 00:48:58 Don't worry, Archer. We was hiding.
671 00:49:01 Slamfist.
672 00:49:04 Troglokhan?
673 00:49:08 We fixed him.
674 00:49:09 We tried to fix him.
675 00:49:12 My dad's radio.
676 00:49:14 Some assembly required.
677 00:49:18 So am I nuts? What's going on here?Give me a call, 1-800, talk to me.
678 00:49:22 Freaky.
679 00:49:24 Like Frankenstein.
680 00:49:28 At least you're all here.Maybe Joe won't break my legs after all.
681 00:49:32 Access approved.
682 00:49:34 Let me get this straight.
683 00:49:35 You used my password to order surplusmilitary chips that might be dangerous?
684 00:49:43 It's okay.
685 00:49:45 That's supposed to happen.See? Clean room.
686 00:49:48 Clean. Let's just go in.
687 00:49:52 You okay?
688 00:49:54 That's him. That's Ralph.
689 00:49:58 Who are you? You don't belong here.
690 00:50:00 I'm Larry Benson. You suppliedmy division with some microchips.
691 00:50:04 Yes. Larry Benson.
692 00:50:07 The X1000. Worked out betterthan you dreamed, didn't they?
693 00:50:12 Actually, there was a little problem.
694 00:50:16 Then it's with your software.
695 00:50:18 I don't think there's a problemwith the software, Ralph.
696 00:50:22 You don't?
697 00:50:24 The X1000 is a masterpiece.
698 00:50:28 Imagine a microchip...
699 00:50:31 ...sophisticated enough to controlthe guidance systems of ballistic missiles.
700 00:50:35 Imagine it can be used to instantly upgradeany system it's plugged into.
701 00:50:39 Like a smart drug for machines.Then, imagine it can learn.
702 00:50:44 What are you talking about?Artificial intelligence?
703 00:50:47 No. Actual intelligence.
704 00:50:50 No wonder those philistinesat the Pentagon didn't appreciate it.
705 00:50:53 One flaw and they scrap the whole project.
706 00:50:56 So there is a flaw in the chips.
707 00:51:00 They're a little bit sensitive to EMP.
708 00:51:03 EMP? Electromagnetic pulse?
709 00:51:06 The kind generatedby the detonation of a nuclear device.
710 00:51:10 I doubt even the toy industry has becomequite that competitive.
711 00:51:13 They said,"Adequate shieldingwasn't cost effective."
712 00:51:19 Did the Medici ever tell Michelangelo:
713 00:51:21 "Sorry, Mike, marble's not cost-effective.Here's a bag of cement"? I think not!
714 00:51:27 Gesundheit.
715 00:51:29 Thank you.
716 00:51:30 There shouldn't be any problem,just because the chips can learn.
717 00:51:33 Am I not being clear? They learn withinthe boundaries of their programming.
718 00:51:38 Whatever the core programming,the X1000 enhances it.
719 00:51:43 So, if you have a problem,it's in your software.
720 00:51:50 Quick impression, Jimmy Cagney."Top of the world, Ma."
721 00:51:56 Talk about hampering your career.
722 00:51:59 Grab him!
723 00:52:01 It looks so real, don't it?
724 00:52:05 Hit him.
725 00:52:08 Friend of yours?
726 00:52:16 What am I going to do with you guys?
727 00:52:19 Two hundred and twenty-one.Two hundred and twenty-two.
728 00:52:23 There goes the record.
729 00:52:29 Not so close. You'll ruin your eye.
730 00:52:41 What are you looking at?
731 00:52:43 I dunno.
732 00:52:49 - Hello?- Alan?
733 00:52:51 Christy?
734 00:52:53 Are you grounded?
735 00:52:54 No, my dad cooled off.
736 00:52:57 So, we did it.
737 00:52:58 Yeah, and the best part is,I found all those lost toys.
738 00:53:03 You were really a big help.
739 00:53:04 Cool.
740 00:53:08 So, Alan, boxers or briefs?
741 00:53:09 Get those off your head.
742 00:53:11 Hey, what's going on?
743 00:53:14 Nothing.
744 00:53:16 Listen, I was thinking maybewe should celebrate sometime.
745 00:53:19 Go to a movie or something.
746 00:53:22 Alan, I only date older guys.It's nothing personal.
747 00:53:29 What I mean is,officially I'm going out with Brad.
748 00:53:32 What about unofficially? Or superficially?
749 00:53:36 There is one guy. But he's kind ofa smart aleck and a bit of a troublemaker.
750 00:53:43 I'm sure he'd be willingto give it all up for you.
751 00:53:46 I know I would.
752 00:53:49 Alan.
753 00:53:58 It's party time!
754 00:54:07 One phat ride!
755 00:54:13 Transmission intercepted. The Gorgonitesare bivouacked at the enemy stronghold.
756 00:54:18 And the enemy has revealedan age-old weakness.
757 00:54:21 I'm sure he'd be willing to give it all upfor you. I know I would.
758 00:54:24 Put yourself in for a commendation.
759 00:54:28 Soldiers! We havea window of opportunity.
760 00:54:30 We will exploit it, drown the enemy outand crush the Gorgonites!
761 00:54:34 We must go behind enemy linesto secure a hostage. Prepare to move out.
762 00:54:39 Hop it, jarheads!
763 00:54:45 I guess you guys are safeas long as you stay here.
764 00:54:51 What are you looking for?
765 00:54:53 Gorgon.
766 00:54:55 This is a national park.
767 00:54:57 The Isle of Gorgon is our homeland.
768 00:55:00 Will you help us find it?
769 00:55:02 I don't think you will find it in there.
770 00:55:05 Alan...
771 00:55:06 ...if Gorgon is not in that window,is it in this one?
772 00:55:12 There's nothing in windows.
773 00:55:15 There's stuff outside them.
774 00:55:18 What stuff?
775 00:55:20 You know, outside.
776 00:55:21 Trees, power poles...
777 00:55:25 ...Christy's house.
778 00:55:26 And beyond that?
779 00:55:29 The mall.
780 00:55:31 And beyond that?
781 00:55:33 The highway.
782 00:55:35 And beyond that?
783 00:55:37 About a million acres of farm.
784 00:55:40 And what's beyond that?
785 00:55:44 I don't know.
786 00:55:48 Gorgon.
787 00:55:52 Live, via satellite, 257 channels.
788 00:55:55 Closed captioningfor the hearing impaired...
789 00:55:58 ...and Dolby stereo where available,which is right here, right now!
790 00:56:04 What a great picture. It's perfect.
791 00:56:07 I don't know. It looks kind of fuzzy.
792 00:56:12 Let me try something else.
793 00:56:16 Oh, for pete's sake! Phil!
794 00:56:21 Maybe if I tweak the brightness a little.
795 00:56:23 No, it's the chroma.The flesh tone's way off.
796 00:56:29 Now it's green.
797 00:56:30 Stand down, men.
798 00:56:32 We must neutralize these civilians.
799 00:56:35 I paid a lot. I don't want any ghosts.
800 00:56:49 Follow me.
801 00:56:54 It's a trap, sir.
802 00:56:57 Bring it here, soldier.
803 00:57:00 Chemical warfare.
804 00:57:02 Operation Sandman.
805 00:57:10 Fire when ready, Private.
806 00:57:16 Audie Murphy.Our most decorated war hero.
807 00:57:23 No sign of the target, sir. Area is secured.
808 00:57:25 Don't worry. She'll be here.
809 00:57:37 This is where we'll engage the target.
810 00:57:39 Set up concealed positionsand prepare for ambush.
811 00:57:42 Oh, man.
812 00:57:44 I can't believe they got me the whole set.
813 00:57:47 Hold your fire, men.
814 00:57:48 Cool, you can talk.You must be the leader.
815 00:57:53 Except one day, you get shot.
816 00:57:59 And this guy gets promoted...
817 00:58:03 ...and now he's the leader. Yes!
818 00:58:05 It wasn't my idea, Major.
819 00:58:07 Commandos, attack!
820 00:58:09 Pile on the kid!
821 00:58:19 Son, you can be a prisoner or a casualty.It's up to you.
822 00:58:23 Sir, over here.
823 00:58:25 Oh, man, I hate babysitting.
824 00:58:27 - What is it, soldier?- Take a look, sir.
825 00:58:32 Bombshells, sir.
826 00:58:37 Fully posable.
827 00:58:41 Hello, dolly!
828 00:58:46 Sweet stuff!
829 00:58:48 Hubba-hubba.
830 00:58:51 R and R, sir?
831 00:58:53 Request a 3-day pass, sir.
832 00:58:55 Denied. Gentlemen, this is the new army.Those are reinforcements.
833 00:59:00 Bring me the head of Nick Nitro. Move.
834 00:59:11 Soldier, your memory will live on.
835 00:59:17 Damn!
836 00:59:19 Criminy!
837 00:59:20 I think I'm gonna hurl.
838 00:59:24 A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
839 01:00:22 It's alive! It's alive!
840 01:00:27 Hi, there. Cannon Fodder Gwendy,reporting for duty, sir.
841 01:00:32 Carry on, soldier.
842 01:00:38 I feel your pain.
843 01:01:02 Alan...
844 01:01:04 ...the Commando Elite are in the trees.
845 01:01:07 They're not movingbecause of the Commandos.
846 01:01:09 It's the wind.
847 01:01:12 See?
848 01:01:13 I see your hand.
849 01:01:15 The wind is blowing. You can feel it.
850 01:01:19 Feel?
851 01:01:20 Right. Plastic. Sorry.
852 01:01:25 It's kind of hard to describe.
853 01:01:28 Weather patterns, wind chill factor.
854 01:01:31 Just because you can't see it,doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
855 01:01:36 See?
856 01:01:41 Wind.
857 01:01:46 Mom? Dad? I'm home.
858 01:01:50 They're asleep.
859 01:01:52 - You know what that means?- They could wake up any second.
860 01:01:56 You know, you are such a major hottie.
861 01:01:59 And you are such a major sweet talker.
862 01:02:02 Good night.
863 01:02:20 My bike won't start. I got nowhere to go.Can I come in?
864 01:02:25 No, that's not it.
865 01:02:55 Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
866 01:03:04 Let's do something fun.
867 01:03:06 We'll all get facials.
868 01:03:08 Did I overpluck my eyebrows?
869 01:03:37 Now it's our turn to play with you.
870 01:03:42 Let's see if her head comes off.
871 01:03:49 Christy?
872 01:04:00 Look. A man. Alley-oop.
873 01:04:03 Such nice broad shoulders.Do you work out?
874 01:04:06 What's your sign, big boy?
875 01:04:09 Makeovers are such a blast.
876 01:04:12 That haircut is so five minutes ago.
877 01:04:15 Are you dumping me?
878 01:04:18 Get off!
879 01:04:21 You! Maggot!
880 01:04:23 An officer and a gentlemandoes not strike a lady.
881 01:04:47 Are you scared?
882 01:04:49 We're all scared.
883 01:04:52 You'd have to be crazy not to be scared.
884 01:05:01 What?
885 01:05:04 What do you see?
886 01:05:09 Ocula? Are you all right?
887 01:05:12 Settle down. You'll be okay.
888 01:05:23 "Surrender?"
889 01:05:26 Smile, girlie.
890 01:05:27 "Alan, I'm safe. I have not been harmed."
891 01:05:31 Christy?
892 01:05:32 "I am making this statement of myown free will and under no duress."
893 01:05:36 - Yeah, right.- Stick to the script. Read it as we wrote it.
894 01:05:39 Make it snappy.
895 01:05:41 "I will be released safely and unharmed...
896 01:05:43 "...only if the following conditions are met:
897 01:05:46 "One: Surrender the Gorgonite scum."
898 01:05:51 That's it.
899 01:05:52 Faster, or we stick you.
900 01:05:53 Alan, you have to help.
901 01:05:55 Zoom in. Get those tears.
902 01:05:58 What else is on?
903 01:06:04 If Major Chip Hazard wants a war,we'll give him a war.
904 01:06:10 Please, Alan, don't do this.
905 01:06:12 - We're afraid.- We're your friends.
906 01:06:14 - Have mercy.- You are a traitor.
907 01:06:16 Hi. Welcome to the big cardboard box.
908 01:06:20 We'll never see Gorgon again.
909 01:06:22 - Alan seemed so nice.- Why would he do this to us?
910 01:06:25 Three words, folks. Pu-ber-ty.
911 01:06:32 Enemy contact.Advance with caution. Roll!
912 01:06:37 Sorry, sir.
913 01:06:39 How could you betray us? We're free.
914 01:06:44 - Have mercy.- The Commandos will kill us.
915 01:06:47 Gentlemen, it looks like they blinked.Advance and envelop.
916 01:06:51 Sir! Yes, sir!
917 01:06:52 Alan, I'm feeling very insecure.
918 01:06:56 I'm allergic to cardboard. Pass it on.
919 01:07:08 Are you ready, Archer?
920 01:07:10 Alan, are you sure this is a good idea?
921 01:07:28 You traitor.
922 01:07:29 - We must be free.- I don't feel well.
923 01:07:32 Alan, don't do it. You'll be guilt-ridden.
924 01:08:00 My aunt was buried alive.I'm very claustrophobic.
925 01:08:03 Rock and roll!
926 01:08:05 I love this job!
927 01:08:13 Are you all right?
928 01:08:20 All my make-up is cruelty-free.
929 01:08:24 You come here often?
930 01:08:26 Will you take me to the prom?
931 01:08:31 If you can't accessorize, pulverize.
932 01:08:42 You've been a bad boy.
933 01:08:44 Now you must be punished.
934 01:08:50 Watch out, girls. Hissy fit.
935 01:08:54 You're to die for.
936 01:08:56 Run! She's got a baton!
937 01:09:00 It's a baton death march.
938 01:09:03 She's gone postal!
939 01:09:10 Oh, I broke a nail.
940 01:09:13 I've always hated these things!
941 01:09:15 The humanity!
942 01:09:18 This is it, men.
943 01:09:34 Commandos, the enemy has deployeda decoy target.
944 01:09:37 Return to primary positions.
945 01:09:41 This is fun!
946 01:09:47 You're killing me!
947 01:09:53 You rescued me.
948 01:09:57 Anytime.
949 01:10:01 Let's go get those creeps.
950 01:10:06 We have to wake my parents.
951 01:10:09 Open fire!
952 01:10:15 We have the enemy on the run.Exploit and pursue.
953 01:10:27 - You've done this before.- Once or twice.
954 01:10:38 Watch it.
955 01:10:40 You watch it.
956 01:10:46 We got to get help.
957 01:10:54 Anyone got a garage door opener?
958 01:11:09 Commandos, attack!
959 01:11:25 Time to plant the corn.
960 01:11:31 Expect no mercy, Gorgonite ally!
961 01:11:40 I'll get the bike.
962 01:11:57 Get on! Hurry!
963 01:12:11 Hot pursuit!
964 01:12:45 Interlock!
965 01:12:48 Right side, lock! Left side, lock!
966 01:12:53 Ramming speed!
967 01:13:10 Hold on!
968 01:13:35 They're toast.
969 01:13:43 You think I could drive home?
970 01:13:45 Good idea.
971 01:14:03 - Your kid kidnapped my daughter...- Uh, oh.
972 01:14:05 ...tied up my son and drugged meand my wife. Marion is still tripping!
973 01:14:09 Time to hide again.
974 01:14:12 Not to mention the damage to my house.
975 01:14:39 We have lost the battle.
976 01:14:41 We will not lose the war.
977 01:14:45 That's the last of them.
978 01:14:50 I think that's all of Friday's delivery.Why did they want it back?
979 01:14:54 You know the clownsthat make these decisions.
980 01:14:57 They don't care we're standing aroundfreezing, in the middle of the night...
981 01:15:00 ...as long as everyone knowswho's in charge.
982 01:15:12 Corporations.
983 01:15:14 Right hand doesn't knowwhat the left hand is screwing up.
984 01:15:18 Greetings. You've been drafted.
985 01:15:22 Move!
986 01:15:23 Is this entire household insane?
987 01:15:25 He says that toy is alivejust because it moves a little.
988 01:15:29 What's next? The Blue Fairydrops by with a talking cricket?
989 01:15:33 He's telling the truth!
990 01:15:35 He's brainwashed you, hasn't he?
991 01:15:38 Don't worry, honey. We'll get youthe best deprogrammer money can buy.
992 01:15:43 You can't change programming.
993 01:15:46 Look. Another one.
994 01:15:49 I told you they were hiding.It's what they do.
995 01:15:53 That's it. Come on, Christy.
996 01:15:56 Timmy, Marion, we're out of here.
997 01:15:59 Don't be a stranger, Phil.
998 01:16:04 Yes, we're with Heartland Play Systems,Consumer Satisfaction.
999 01:16:09 Is Alan Abernathy here?
1000 01:16:11 That's Alan, right there.
1001 01:16:13 How you doing? We understandyou acquired some of our fine products.
1002 01:16:18 There's a chance they might be...
1003 01:16:21 ...defective.
1004 01:16:22 But there's no reason to thinkthey could do any harm.
1005 01:16:25 - There's reasons.- There is a problem with the Commandos.
1006 01:16:28 What problem? Bear in mind, you will becalled into court to support your claim.
1007 01:16:34 - Your toys nearly killed my son!- Stuart...
1008 01:16:37 Don't say calm down!Calm was killing me.
1009 01:16:40 And you! You owe my son an apology!
1010 01:16:44 Hey, Larry. Look. It's Archer.
1011 01:16:48 Greetings.
1012 01:16:49 I am Archer. Who are you?
1013 01:16:53 I'm Irwin. I designed you...
1014 01:16:56 ...and all the Gorgonites.
1015 01:16:57 He's the creator.
1016 01:17:03 You're all here.
1017 01:17:05 Everyone has to be somewhere.
1018 01:17:07 That's true. My mom used to...
1019 01:17:11 Making declarative statements?Formulating inquiries?
1020 01:17:18 Lights out.
1021 01:17:22 Something's going on out there.
1022 01:17:29 That's weird.There's a Heartland truck outside.
1023 01:17:45 - More Commandos?- A lot more.
1024 01:17:48 Dad, come see this for yourself.
1025 01:17:52 Chip?
1026 01:17:54 Dead Chip? The Chip we killed?
1027 01:17:56 Maybe we didn't kill him enough.
1028 01:17:59 Oh, my.
1029 01:18:04 Commandos, fall out!
1030 01:18:06 Secure the left perimeter!Secure the right perimeter! Move out!
1031 01:18:11 Sir, yes, sir!
1032 01:18:12 Assault formation. Go!
1033 01:18:18 If war is hell, let's give them hell.
1034 01:18:21 We didn't start this war,but we're damn sure going to end it.
1035 01:18:25 I'm scared.
1036 01:18:28 It'll be all right. They're not after you.
1037 01:18:32 They just want to killthe little monster people.
1038 01:18:34 That's right. We're just caught upin some stupid game.
1039 01:18:38 Well, game over.
1040 01:18:41 Mr. Fimple, wait.
1041 01:18:43 No, Alan.
1042 01:18:45 Let him go.
1043 01:18:51 Archer.
1044 01:18:53 The Gorgonites must lose.
1045 01:18:59 Hi!
1046 01:19:01 I'm Phil Fimple.
1047 01:19:04 I'm here to negotiate the surrender of the...
1048 01:19:08 ...Gorgonzolas.
1049 01:19:09 Here's our proposal: Take them!
1050 01:19:12 He's selling us out.He's an Arnold Benedict.
1051 01:19:15 Take them apart, steal their batteries,whatever it is you...
1052 01:19:19 ...people do.
1053 01:19:25 Is that my JVC?
1054 01:19:29 There will be no surrender!
1055 01:19:31 There will be no mercy!All Gorgonite scum must die!
1056 01:19:36 Bomb them all the way back to preschool.
1057 01:19:38 Recon estimatesGorgonite scum strength at 16!
1058 01:19:42 Sixteen? Where did they get sixteen from?
1059 01:19:45 Seven Gorgonites and nine people.
1060 01:19:49 Well, you heard our proposal.
1061 01:19:51 Phil, get in here! Hurry!
1062 01:19:54 These negotiations are over!
1063 01:20:02 We are the Commando Elite.Everything else...
1064 01:20:04 ... is just a toy.
1065 01:20:13 - What are they doing?- Psychological warfare.
1066 01:20:17 The Marines did this against Noriega.
1067 01:20:21 Phil.
1068 01:20:25 I love this song!
1069 01:20:30 Fimple, turn that off!
1070 01:20:36 Go, go!
1071 01:20:42 Lock and load.
1072 01:20:45 Nail them!
1073 01:20:47 Open fire!
1074 01:20:49 Get down!
1075 01:21:01 Fimple.
1076 01:21:06 Honey?
1077 01:21:08 Stuart, Phil, barricade that window!Alan, get back.
1078 01:21:13 Get back!
1079 01:21:20 Fire!
1080 01:21:26 Wow.
1081 01:21:27 Fire!
1082 01:21:28 How are they...
1083 01:21:31 Alan, put out the fires.Nerds, side windows.
1084 01:21:42 Marion, Timmy...
1085 01:21:44 ...the closet. Come on, come on. Hurry!
1086 01:21:50 Just get in. Get down.
1087 01:21:55 I have that coat.
1088 01:21:56 Yes.
1089 01:21:59 Frag 'em all!
1090 01:22:04 I'll call the police!
1091 01:22:05 Phil, Christy, push this back. Careful.
1092 01:22:10 Fire!
1093 01:22:14 Service.
1094 01:22:17 Great balls of fire!
1095 01:22:20 The phone's dead. Nice forehand, honey.
1096 01:22:24 Incoming!
1097 01:22:26 I'm hit!
1098 01:22:28 More shells!
1099 01:22:30 Take the house!
1100 01:22:32 We have to stop thembefore my wife gets tennis elbow.
1101 01:22:35 An electromagnetic pulse would work.That would fry the chips.
1102 01:22:42 All we need now is a nuclear warhead.
1103 01:22:45 I doubt I'll have one in the junk drawer.
1104 01:22:48 Nuclear warhead?
1105 01:22:49 The chips aren't shielded against an EMP.A nuclear blast would wipe them out.
1106 01:22:53 That's why the military never used them.
1107 01:22:55 What kind of moron would putmilitary technology in toys?
1108 01:22:58 That would be Gizmo over here.
1109 01:23:04 Actually, any electrical device generatesa magnetic field, just not a big one.
1110 01:23:08 We'll need a big one.
1111 01:23:13 Fire in the hole!
1112 01:23:23 Alan, the window.
1113 01:23:27 "I don't know but I've been toldGorgonite blood runs mighty cold."
1114 01:23:31 No, Alan.
1115 01:23:36 Way to stay heads up.
1116 01:23:40 Continue artillery barrage!
1117 01:23:43 Take cover! Stay low!
1118 01:23:45 There's a power pole back therewith two huge transformers.
1119 01:23:48 Could we use those to createthe electromagnetic whatever?
1120 01:23:51 We could get them to explode.
1121 01:23:53 That would fry their chips, for sure.
1122 01:23:57 You could connect the transformers.
1123 01:23:59 We just need to put something metalbetween them.
1124 01:24:02 You get a nice power boost.Right up until they overload and blow up.
1125 01:24:07 It only happened once!
1126 01:24:13 That's it.
1127 01:24:21 This should work.
1128 01:24:28 Forget it. You're not going out there.
1129 01:24:30 - There's no time!- It's too dangerous.
1130 01:24:32 We've only got one chance!
1131 01:24:34 You are my responsibility and...
1132 01:24:36 Dad, there's no other way!
1133 01:24:48 You have to trust me.
1134 01:24:50 Wait.
1135 01:24:53 It's dark in here.
1136 01:24:54 It's night, genius.
1137 01:24:56 I mean, power has to be going throughthe transformers for them to overload.
1138 01:25:03 The power's on at my houseand we've tons of crap to turn on.
1139 01:25:07 We have to wedge the breakersopen in your fuse box. Come on, Larry.
1140 01:25:11 I hate you, Irwin.
1141 01:25:17 We have met the enemy and he is you!
1142 01:25:26 I love the smell of polyurethanein the morning.
1143 01:25:33 Oh, my God. Phil, in here, in here.
1144 01:25:37 It's locked.
1145 01:25:42 Up, up, up.
1146 01:25:45 Balcony's closed.
1147 01:25:47 Down, down, down.
1148 01:25:49 Descend and destroy.
1149 01:25:55 Let me in. Damn it! Fimple, you freak!Let me in!
1150 01:26:00 All quiet on the Western front yard!
1151 01:26:04 Go and turn on every pieceof electronic equipment in your house.
1152 01:26:08 This one's for Nick Nitro!
1153 01:26:15 Mess around with my kid, huh?
1154 01:26:17 A broomstick. I'm scared.
1155 01:26:19 Get him!
1156 01:26:21 First blood!
1157 01:26:23 Stick this in your pipe and smoke it!
1158 01:26:31 All right, Dad!
1159 01:26:34 We roasted them!
1160 01:26:36 There they are. Nail 'em!
1161 01:26:40 Not good.
1162 01:26:42 Hey, kid! Don't you like 9-inch nails?
1163 01:26:47 I got hit. I'm okay.
1164 01:26:52 Gorgonites, we must help Alan.
1165 01:26:55 But if we fight, we will lose.
1166 01:26:59 Last time we fought,I woke up with AMIFM.
1167 01:27:01 War is nuts.I know what I'm talking about.
1168 01:27:03 We shouldn't fight. We should hide.
1169 01:27:06 If we hide, we will still lose.
1170 01:27:09 No more hiding.
1171 01:27:13 Nail them to the wall!
1172 01:27:18 Gorgonites, fight!
1173 01:27:26 Sanctuary! Sanctuary!
1174 01:27:36 Strike!
1175 01:27:37 Retreat!
1176 01:27:42 Meet my wife, the old ball and chain.
1177 01:27:44 I love working in the round.
1178 01:27:46 I'm knocking 'em dead.You don't like stand-up? Then sit down!
1179 01:27:49 Thank you and good night,ladies and germs.
1180 01:27:56 How do you work this? Wrong way.That's better.
1181 01:27:59 Alan?
1182 01:28:05 You should go now.
1183 01:28:07 Archer, listen.
1184 01:28:09 When that thing explodes,you'll be fried, too.
1185 01:28:14 Go.
1186 01:28:20 Take that!
1187 01:28:24 Watch your back.
1188 01:28:26 Thanks, Dad.
1189 01:28:32 I'm watching your back, Alan.
1190 01:28:46 What are you packing, Tiny?
1191 01:28:48 Packing? I'm packing you!
1192 01:28:57 It's not a prank call. It's not.
1193 01:29:00 No, wait. It is!
1194 01:29:02 So you'll send some copsto come and arrest me? Don't hang up!
1195 01:29:09 Do you know what you're doing?
1196 01:29:11 Yeah.
1197 01:29:39 Die!
1198 01:29:45 Ain't war hell?
1199 01:29:56 Thanks for the lift, Punch-it.
1200 01:30:04 Mayday! Mayday! I'm hit!
1201 01:30:09 I'm going down! Ejecting!
1202 01:30:25 Expect no mercy.
1203 01:30:51 Having fun yet?
1204 01:30:59 Let's have a round and a roundof applause for Archer...
1205 01:31:03 ...emissary of the Gorgonites. You're up!
1206 01:31:12 Major Chip Hazard.
1207 01:31:14 Gorgonite scum!
1208 01:31:16 Leave Alan alone. Your fight is with me.
1209 01:31:19 You've got a lot of guts.
1210 01:31:22 Let's see what they look like.
1211 01:31:26 They're wires and metal,the same as yours.
1212 01:31:31 We're nothing alike.You are programmed to lose.
1213 01:31:38 I'm also programmed to learn.
1214 01:31:41 Too bad you never learned to win.
1215 01:31:47 School's out, loser.
1216 01:31:57 Victory is ours!
1217 01:31:58 Have I got a shock for you.
1218 01:32:01 You stupid toy!
1219 01:32:26 Run for it! Watch out!
1220 01:32:42 Get on!
1221 01:32:45 Is this going to be a patternfor our relationship?
1222 01:32:48 Relationship?
1223 01:32:51 - This isn't dangerous, is it?- Well...
1224 01:33:05 It's dead!
1225 01:33:14 Are you all right?
1226 01:33:26 Medic!
1227 01:33:29 There will be no mercy.
1228 01:33:44 Situation is stabilizing.Local law enforcement is under control.
1229 01:33:47 It's just a matter of compensatingthose involved.
1230 01:34:00 The area is secure. Bring him in.
1231 01:34:07 Who is that?
1232 01:34:10 Oh, no. It's him.
1233 01:34:35 How you doing, Joe?
1234 01:34:37 - Would you do me a big favor?- Anything, sir.
1235 01:34:39 Move your truck with the giant GloboTechlogo before the news crews get here.
1236 01:34:45 I don't know, Mr. Mars,I may have trouble handling the gears.
1237 01:34:48 What with the critical head injuryand emotional distress I've suffered lately.
1238 01:34:54 - Thank you.- Right away, sir!
1239 01:34:56 Excuse me. You're not off the hook yet.
1240 01:34:58 There's the matter of the massive damageto my home, my garage...
1241 01:35:02 ...my audio-visual system...
1242 01:35:05 - This is good.- Bye-bye.
1243 01:35:07 Excuse me, Mr. Whoever-You-Are.What about our house?
1244 01:35:13 What about the pain and the anguish...
1245 01:35:16 - Humiliation.- The humiliation.
1246 01:35:18 I don't think even youhave enough money to pay for that.
1247 01:35:21 Okay, maybe you do.
1248 01:35:24 Hey, Alan. Keep your nose clean, kid.
1249 01:35:26 I'll try. Listen...
1250 01:35:29 ...I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
1251 01:35:33 Forget it.
1252 01:35:36 Toys is hell.
1253 01:35:39 Mr. Mars, I just wantedto assure you that...
1254 01:35:44 ...I take full responsibility for this.
1255 01:35:47 Yeah, right. Give me that.
1256 01:35:50 What were we charging for these?
1257 01:35:52 $79.95.
1258 01:35:54 Add a few zerosto the end of that number...
1259 01:35:56 ...and contact our military division.
1260 01:35:59 I know some South American rebelswho will find these toys very entertaining.
1261 01:36:04 Dad, you know my birthday?
1262 01:36:07 I just want clothes.
1263 01:36:10 Come on, Christy.
1264 01:36:16 Any sign of the Gorgonites?
1265 01:36:18 No, none of them.
1266 01:36:21 Come on, Christy.
1267 01:36:23 I better go.
1268 01:36:34 Too bad. This would have madea hell of a commercial.
1269 01:37:09 Archer?
1270 01:37:24 Archer, are you all right?Halt! Who goes there?
1271 01:37:29 Greetings. I am Archer,emissary of the Gorgonites.
1272 01:37:32 Greetings. I am Archer,emissary of the Gorgonites.
1273 01:37:36 Your chip got fried,just like the Commandos'.
1274 01:37:41 The Commandos are dead?
1275 01:37:46 Gorgonites, we won.
1276 01:37:49 We did?
1277 01:37:51 Well, that's a pleasant surprise.
1278 01:37:55 The satellite dish must have shieldedyou guys. Pretty smart.
1279 01:37:58 Smart? We were lucky.
1280 01:38:00 I'm glad you made it, Archer.
1281 01:38:01 I'm glad you made it, Alan.
1282 01:38:06 Gorgonites, we are free!
1283 01:38:09 Thank you, Alan, destroyer of Commandos.
1284 01:38:11 We're free.
1285 01:38:12 Free? What about the cover charge?
1286 01:38:16 Let me get in first. I'm big.
1287 01:38:18 I'll sit in the crow's nest.Hey, there's a dead crow up here.
1288 01:38:22 I'm kidding.
1289 01:38:27 Are you sure you want to do this?
1290 01:38:29 Yes, Alan. It is time.
1291 01:38:32 Archer, I understand why, but...
1292 01:38:35 ...you may not find Gorgon.It may not even...
1293 01:38:39 Even if you can't see something,it doesn't mean it isn't there.
1294 01:38:51 Look, we're out to launch!
1295 01:38:55 I'm seasick already.
1296 01:38:57 Bye-bye, Alan.
1297 01:38:59 Bye-bye, Alan. Nice knowing you.
1298 01:39:31 Anybody from out of town here?Where are you from, sir?
1299 01:39:35 Gorgon.
1300 01:39:36 What exit? Hello? Is this thing on?Is this a boat or an oil painting?
1301 01:39:40 I hope we don't hit an iceberg.
1302 01:44:47 Nuclear warhead?What are you talking about?
1303 01:44:51 Was that too much?
1304 01:44:57 I've never heard you say that before.
1305 01:45:01 Subtitles by SOFTITLER
