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1 00:01:31 {\an8}1982年夏天
2 00:01:35 库柏 店开了Cooper, it's open.
3 00:01:36 开了It's open?
4 00:01:37 快点Come on!
5 00:01:40 一定超屌It's supposed to be awesome.
6 00:01:42 {\an8}柠檬水
7 00:01:43 谢罗Thank you.
8 00:01:43 零钱还我 大烂人Hey, give me back my quarters, you hoser!
9 00:01:46 妈Mom!
10 00:01:59 {\an8}电玩梦工厂 盛大开幕
11 00:02:11 像素大战
12 00:02:22 {\an8}吃豆人
13 00:02:42 可恶Damn.
14 00:02:44 什么What?
15 00:02:46 {\an8}游戏结束
16 00:02:47 我真逊I suck.
17 00:02:52 {\an8}多一次 高分
18 00:02:56 哇 山姆Wow, Sam.
19 00:02:58 你怎么这么厉害 你又没打过How are you so good at this? You've never even played it before.
20 00:03:02 我也不知道I don't know.
21 00:03:04 它们有一个移动模式 注意看There's a pattern to how they're moving. Watch.
22 00:03:09 我看不出来 但你看出来了I don't see it, but you sure as hell do.
23 00:03:22 {\an8}第9关 第4回
24 00:03:31 {\an8}保卫者
25 00:03:37 运用原力 运用原力Use the Force. Use the Force.
26 00:03:41 {\an8}星际大战
27 00:03:49 楚巴卡Hey, Chewie.
28 00:03:50 你简直是超级巨星You're a superstar, dude.
29 00:03:52 该让大家见识你的厉害了And it's time to show the world.
30 00:03:54 {\an8}1982年世界电玩锦标赛
31 00:04:07 各位选手请注意Attention, all contestants.
32 00:04:08 比赛将在15分钟后开始The competition will start in 15 minutes.
33 00:04:12 你也是 太好笑了You too? That's so funny.
34 00:04:17 真的吗Really?
35 00:04:19 我觉得你也超性感I think you're pretty darn foxy yourself.
36 00:04:22 {\an8}丽莎女神
37 00:04:26 丽莎女神 我会永远爱你Lady Lisa, I'll love you till the end of time.
38 00:04:30 -你在跟谁讲话 -没有-Who are you talking to? -Nobody!
39 00:04:32 等一下再聊We'll talk later.
40 00:04:33 你是神奇小子拉德洛 对吧You're Ludlow Lamonsoff, the Wonder Kid, right?
41 00:04:35 谁告诉你的 政府吗Who told you that? The government?
42 00:04:38 我差一点就要解开 百慕达三角洲之谜了'Cause I'm this close to figuring out the secret of the Bermuda Triangle.
43 00:04:41 你一定没朋友吧Wow, you don't have any friends, do you?
44 00:04:44 只有我阿嬷Just my grandma.
45 00:04:48 神奇小子 你可以跟我们混Well, Wonder Kid, you can hang out with us.
46 00:04:51 真的吗Really?
47 00:04:56 宅男和鲁蛇 你们好What's up, geeks and goobers?
48 00:04:58 人家都叫我旋风之火They call me the Fire Blaster!
49 00:05:01 因为我的手快如旋风'Cause my hands are blazing fast,
50 00:05:03 能够打趴所有逊咖对手and also I will blast and burn all my competitors' weak-ass moves.
51 00:05:13 你们一定是本地的"惊英"You must be the local talent.
52 00:05:15 若要比谁长得抱歉 我就输定了If this was a fugly contest, I'd be in trouble.
53 00:05:19 至少我们没乱取绰号 旋风之火At least we didn't make up our own nicknames, Fire Blaster.
54 00:05:21 管他是谁想出来的Who cares who came up with it?
55 00:05:23 这称号帅呆了It's totally tubular.
56 00:05:25 欢迎各位选手光临第一届Welcome, gamers, to the first annual
57 00:05:29 {\an8}1982年世界电玩锦标赛
58 00:05:29 世界电玩锦标赛Worldwide Video Arcade Championships!
59 00:05:34 今晚我们有来自金氏世界纪录Tonight, we have representatives here from the Guinness Book of World Records,
60 00:05:39 以及NASA国家太空总署的代表as well as NASA, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration,
61 00:05:42 他们将录下今晚的比赛who will be videotaping tonight's competition
62 00:05:45 收录到1982年 新闻与流行文化选集中to be included in a compilation of 1982's news events and popular culture.
63 00:05:49 这支录影带将放在太空探测器中That videotape will be placed in a space probe
64 00:05:53 由太空总署送上太阳系which will be launched by NASA into our solar system
65 00:05:56 希望与可能存在的外星生命联系with the hope of connecting to, and perhaps providing a message for
66 00:05:59 甚至提供讯息给他们extraterrestrial life, should it exist.
67 00:06:02 他们存在的It exists.
68 00:06:04 各位先生女士Ladies and gentlemen,
69 00:06:06 比赛开始start your gaming!
70 00:06:11 {\an8}青蛙过街
71 00:06:20 各位 今晚实在太精彩了All right, ladies and gentlemen, what an evening we have had here.
72 00:06:23 总共创下六项新的全美纪录Six new US records set.
73 00:06:26 三项新的世界纪录Three new world records set.
74 00:06:29 战绩出炉了 有两人战成平手And, as the smoke clears, right now we have a tie.
75 00:06:34 新任吃豆人世界冠军得到259分Two hundred and fifty-nine points for your new Pac-Man world champion.
76 00:06:39 旋风之火 埃迪The Fire Blaster, Eddie Plant!
77 00:06:42 帅啊 旋风之火Go, Fire Blaster!
78 00:06:44 新出炉的小蜜蜂大蜈蚣世界冠军 也得到259分 And 259 points for your new Galaga Centipede world champion,
79 00:06:49 超级新人王rookie sensation,
80 00:06:50 山姆布伦纳Sam Brenner!
81 00:06:53 赞啦 山姆Yeah, Sam!
82 00:06:56 各位 我们来一决高下Well, gentlemen, how 'bout we break this tie.
83 00:06:59 决胜项目是...Let's play
84 00:07:00 大金刚Donkey Kong!
85 00:07:07 祝你好运-Good luck, man. -Thanks.
86 00:07:08 谢了 你很了这些电玩的模式You have the patterns down pretty good with these games.
87 00:07:12 要打败你不简单You're gonna be tough to beat.
88 00:07:28 {\an8}第1关 第2关
89 00:07:37 {\an8}第4关 第5关
90 00:07:40 {\an8}第11关
91 00:07:43 {\an8}第9关
92 00:07:46 {\an8}第16关 第19关
93 00:07:51 大金刚的特色是关卡越高You see, the thing about Donkey Kong is,
94 00:07:54 障碍就越难掌握 非常混乱at the higher levels the barrels become more random, possessed almost.
95 00:07:57 已经没有模式可遵循And playing by the patterns doesn't do the trick anymore.
96 00:07:59 对吧 布伦纳Does it, Brenner?
97 00:08:01 {\an8}第20关
98 00:08:02 {\an8}第21关
99 00:08:05 {\an8}第22关
100 00:08:06 {\an8}第21关
101 00:08:08 {\an8}第22关
102 00:08:14 {\an8}游戏结束
103 00:08:21 恭喜你Congratulations.
104 00:08:24 得到第二名On coming in second!
105 00:08:31 旋风之火勇夺世界冠军Fire Blaster is the world champ!
106 00:08:33 本地的土包子想赢却赢不了The local yokel looked destiny in the eye and blinked.
107 00:08:36 他一日鲁蛇 终生鲁蛇He's a loser, and he will always be a loser.
108 00:08:40 山姆Sam!
109 00:08:41 山姆 等一下Sam, Sam, wait.
110 00:08:43 山姆 听我说Sam, listen.
111 00:08:44 你还是会上麻省理工学院 You're still gonna go to MIT
112 00:08:46 发明新科技变成富豪and invent something that makes you a millionaire.
113 00:08:48 说不定还能娶林慧萍And maybe even marry Olivia Newton-John.
114 00:08:52 我比较想娶金瑞瑶I was actually thinking Samantha Fox.
115 00:08:54 不错 但她又不是杨林Nice, but she's no Sheena Easton.
116 00:08:57 喔Well,
117 00:08:58 反正还有麦当娜there's always Madonna.
118 00:09:00 史嘉蕾乔韩森怎么样How about Scarlett Johansson?
119 00:09:02 超辣So hot.
120 00:09:04 比不上荷莉贝瑞 可是超辣Not Halle Berry hot, but so, so hot.
121 00:09:06 别忘了凯蒂佩芮And don't forget Katy Perry.
122 00:09:08 这是干嘛 我们太老了 有够恶What are we doin' right now? We're too old. It's just gross already.
123 00:09:11 而且你娶了一个恨你的女人Plus, you're married to a woman who hates you.
124 00:09:13 她不恨我 只是不了解状况She doesn't hate me. She just doesn't get it, you know.
125 00:09:16 我们不像十年前有时间相处We don't have the free time to do stuff together like we did 10 years ago.
126 00:09:19 这份工作快害死我了This job is killing me, man.
127 00:09:21 如果我是你If I were you,
128 00:09:23 就一天找半小时关掉手机maybe a half hour a day, turn off the cell phone,
129 00:09:27 不看电邮 别吃零食 专心陪老婆shut down the emails, put away the Reggie bars and focus on your wife.
130 00:09:31 总统今天继续当众出糗The President's gaffe-filled summer continued today...
131 00:09:33 等等 我得看一下Hold on a second. I gotta see this.
132 00:09:34 在约尼小学...at Joseph Knibb Elementary School
133 00:09:36 推广青少年阅读活动to promote his new youth reading initiative.
134 00:09:38 请看下面的报导Here's what happened.
135 00:09:39 小米跳上桌 打翻一整碗汤"Mittens jumped up onto the table and knocked over the whole bowl of soup.
136 00:09:44 皮太太倒抽...一口气"Mrs. Pickles gassed... Gasped."
137 00:09:46 她倒抽一口气She gasped.
138 00:09:48 整个房间陷入一片安静"And the whole room fell silent.
139 00:09:50 真是惨不..."This was casta...
140 00:09:52 真是惨不..."This is cast...
141 00:09:54 惨不忍嘟"Catatastrophic."
142 00:09:56 惨不忍睹Catastrophic.
143 00:09:57 我知道啦 小朋友I got it, sweetheart, okay?
144 00:10:00 你干嘛这么凶Why'd you yell at me?
145 00:10:01 你好坏You're mean.
146 00:10:02 不要凶她Leave her alone.
147 00:10:04 总统不识字The President can't read.
148 00:10:12 你得好好认字 没别的办法You gotta learn how to read, buddy. It's as simple as that.
149 00:10:19 我才睡三个小时I was on three hours' sleep, all right?
150 00:10:21 -你的经济方案伤害了穷人 -大家好-Your economics are hurting poor people! -Nice to see ya!
151 00:10:24 你双手沾满了无辜小孩的鲜血 You've got the blood of innocent children on your hands.
152 00:10:26 感谢大家支持Thank you for your support.
153 00:10:27 -你害我没钱上大学 -好漂亮的衣服-I can't afford to go to college because of you! -That's a lovely dress.
154 00:10:30 -你毁了这个国家 -我们一起努力-You're ruining the country! -Yeah, we're all in this together, now.
155 00:10:34 你日子真不好过 兄弟You got a rough life, bud.
156 00:10:35 -先生 -谢谢-Sir? -Thank you.
157 00:10:38 但至少你还有人生But at least you have a life.
158 00:10:39 布伦纳 你不该只有这样Look, Brenner, you're meant for something more than this.
159 00:10:42 你需要把才华发挥在有用的地方You just need to channel your genius into something productive.
160 00:10:45 以前你是电玩高手 I mean, you were incredible at video games back in the day,
161 00:10:47 但现在那已经没三小路用but that's a useless skill now.
162 00:10:49 就像很会挖茅坑而已It's like being a great blacksmith.
163 00:10:51 好伤人喔 真是惨不忍嘟That hurt, man. That's catatastrophic that you said that.
164 00:10:55 我会让你后悔说出这句话I'm gonna get you back for that.
165 00:10:56 总统先生 要是关闭所有图书馆Mr. President, if you take away all the libraries, sir,
166 00:11:00 孩子要怎么学习阅读how will the children ever learn to read?
167 00:11:05 挖茅坑工人闪人了Blacksmith, over and out.
168 00:11:10 {\an8}关岛 伊戈村
169 00:11:12 {\an8}上午6点22分
170 00:11:29 {\an8}安德森空军基地
171 00:11:31 {\an8}关岛1号公路
172 00:11:38 你好 我是拳国电子服务员Hello. I am a nerd from the Nerd Brigade.
173 00:11:41 给您揪感心的总统级服务Here to nerd out on all your audio and visual needs.
174 00:11:45 你们每次来都要讲这句吗Do you have to say that every time you show up at a house?
175 00:11:47 想领薪水就得讲If I wanna get paid, yes.
176 00:11:49 这样不是很假掰吗Isn't that kind of demeaning?
177 00:11:51 有人提出来才会Only if someone brings it up.
178 00:11:53 -好 那我不提了 -谢谢-Okay, I won't bring it up, then. -Thanks.
179 00:11:55 请进Come on in.
180 00:11:58 需要安装什么So, what am I installing?
181 00:12:00 85寸4K的3D电视A new 85-inch, 4K, 3D TV,
182 00:12:03 PS4游戏机 7.1环绕喇叭PlayStation 4, 7.1 surround-sound speakers.
183 00:12:07 你们卖的我们大概都买了Really, if you guys sell it, we've probably bought it.
184 00:12:11 今天你生日吗Is it your birthday?
185 00:12:12 不是 我爸妈要离婚了No, my parents are getting a divorce.
186 00:12:14 那就像一天过十次生日So it's like 10 birthdays.
187 00:12:16 我爸劈腿19岁的皮拉提斯老师Yeah, my dad cheated on my mom with his 19-year-old Pilates instructor.
188 00:12:20 她叫肉贵 昂贵的贵Her name's Sinnamon, with an "S"
189 00:12:22 人如其名which really tells you all you need to know about her.
190 00:12:25 我想多知道一点 有她照片吗No, I could hear a little more. You got any pictures?
191 00:12:27 开玩笑啦 我很遗憾I'm kiddin'. I'm sorry to hear that.
192 00:12:28 我妈现在超恨我爸My mom kind of hates him right now.
193 00:12:30 她说要发明一种贱人飞弹炸死肉贵And she says she's gonna invent a slut-seeking missile to take out Sinnamon.
194 00:12:34 马帝 不必跟安装员讲我们的故事Okay, Matty, you don't need to tell the nice installer man our whole life.
195 00:12:40 哇靠Whoa.
196 00:12:41 抱歉 哇靠I'm sorry, "Whoa"?
197 00:12:43 -怎样 -因为你 哇靠-What? -No, just you. Whoa.
198 00:12:45 我 哇靠 完全不懂Me? Whoa? I don't even know what that means.
199 00:12:49 因为你儿子告诉我 I mean, it's just, when your son told me
200 00:12:51 你老公为了19岁女生离开你that your husband left you for a 19-year-old,
201 00:12:55 我以为你会像...I guess I thought you were gonna be, like
202 00:12:58 中学时代当校花one of those "hot when we first met in high school,
203 00:13:01 成年之后变笑话那种人"but then let herself go and got a potbelly and turkey neck
204 00:13:06 下巴还长毛"with a hairy chin."
205 00:13:07 但显然你不是那样But clearly that's not the case.
206 00:13:10 所以哇靠 So more like, "Whoa,
207 00:13:12 早上出门前我该刷牙I should have brushed my teeth before I left the house this morning."
208 00:13:15 老实说 我住的是雅房Or studio apartment, if we're getting real here.
209 00:13:18 你早上真的没刷牙吗Did you really not brush your teeth this morning?
210 00:13:21 不 我有No, I did.
211 00:13:22 我该开始安装了I guess I should just start settin' this stuff up right now.
212 00:13:26 你忙吧Go get 'em.
213 00:13:43 狄佛瑞上校Colonel Devereux.
214 00:13:45 你应该看看这个You need to see this, sir.
215 00:13:51 我们遭受攻击了We're under attack.
216 00:14:03 那些是什么鬼东西What the hell are those things?
217 00:14:05 你是电动玩家So are you a gamer?
218 00:14:09 对Yeah.
219 00:14:10 我在你这年纪常打I played when I was your age.
220 00:14:12 你厉害吗Were you any good?
221 00:14:14 有些经典游戏相当拿手I was pretty good at some of the classic games.
222 00:14:18 经典 你是说最后一战和决胜时刻Classics. You mean like Halo and Call of Duty.
223 00:14:20 不 真正的经典No! The real classics.
224 00:14:22 保卫者 吃豆人 爆破彗星Defender, Pac-Man, Asteroids.
225 00:14:25 在电动游乐场玩的游戏Games you played in an arcade
226 00:14:27 要出门去的一种地方which was a building outside of your house.
227 00:14:30 你会跟朋友去 听音乐 You would go there with your friends, listen to music,
228 00:14:32 到处都有漂亮女生cute girls everywhere.
229 00:14:34 古时候那叫社交In ancient times, they called it "socializing."
230 00:14:38 你们在聊什么What are you guys talking about?
231 00:14:39 -电玩游戏 -电玩游戏-Video games. -Video games.
232 00:14:47 我马上回来I'll be right back.
233 00:14:52 范太太Mrs. Van Patten.
234 00:14:54 楼下都装好了All finished up down there.
235 00:14:55 麻烦签一下作业单I need you to sign the work order.
236 00:14:57 好Okay.
237 00:15:01 范太太 你在更衣室里吗Mrs. Van Patten, are you in the closet?
238 00:15:03 对Yes.
239 00:15:06 我没别的意思 你在里面干嘛Not judging, but what are you doin' in the closet?
240 00:15:10 主要是在哭I'm mostly crying.
241 00:15:12 顺便喝点酒A little drinking.
242 00:15:15 应该是边哭边喝酒Probably equally crying and drinking.
243 00:15:17 我也常干这种事Something I do often, also.
244 00:15:20 但为什么要在更衣室里But why in the closet?
245 00:15:23 因为我不要让马帝看到Because I don't want Matty to see me.
246 00:15:30 我要进更衣室罗 范太太I'm comin' in the closet, Mrs. Van Patten.
247 00:15:33 我要开门了I'm opening the door.
248 00:15:39 你还好吗Are you all right?
249 00:15:41 我在更衣室地上啜泣 拿鸭嘴杯喝白酒I'm sobbing on the floor of my closet drinking Chardonnay out of a sippy cup.
250 00:15:45 所以应该不太好So I guess not.
251 00:15:46 抱歉 我收回这问题Sorry. I withdraw the question.
252 00:15:54 天啊God.
253 00:15:57 -想聊聊吗 -不想-Wanna talk about it? -No.
254 00:16:01 想Yes!
255 00:16:03 想Yes.
256 00:16:07 天啊God.
257 00:16:10 长官 我们正遭到不明武力空袭Sir, we are in the midst of an aerial attack by an unidentified force!
258 00:16:15 派出快速反应部队Activate the QRF.
259 00:17:07 啊娘喂 不Mama! No!
260 00:17:15 我们是高中情侣 人人称羡We were high-school sweethearts. The perfect couple.
261 00:17:19 你知道他在瀑布下求婚吗Do you know that he proposed in a waterfall?
262 00:17:22 -真的瀑布耶 -不赖-I mean, a freaking waterfall. -Smooth.
263 00:17:24 现在 根据我20分钟前 收到的简讯But now, according to a text I got 20 minutes ago,
264 00:17:27 他要娶一个 用香料当名字的19岁女人he's marrying a 19-year-old named after a spice.
265 00:17:31 而且还用错别字It's not even spelled correctly.
266 00:17:36 没想过我会沦落至此It's just not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life.
267 00:17:39 天啊 我了God. I hear that.
268 00:17:41 我想跟我前妻生小孩I was supposed to have a baby with my ex-wife.
269 00:17:45 帮我们的医生果然帮我们如愿And the doctor who was helping us make the baby did help us make the baby.
270 00:17:49 他成了孩子的爸But, unfortunately, I wasn't in the room.
271 00:18:01 或许这样才是最好的Maybe this really is all for the best.
272 00:18:05 什么意思How do you mean?
273 00:18:06 你嫁错老公 最糟的部分结束了You already married the wrong guy. You got the worst part over with.
274 00:18:10 真的 你也娶错老婆True, and you married the wrong girl.
275 00:18:15 也许那表示我们会遇见对的人Maybe it just means we're gonna meet the right person now.
276 00:18:23 是啊Yeah.
277 00:18:24 嗯Yeah.
278 00:18:35 你想吻我吗Are you trying to kiss me?
279 00:18:37 绝对没有Absolutely not.
280 00:18:38 天啊God.
281 00:18:40 抱歉 我以为我们刚刚来电了Sorry, I thought we were having a moment.
282 00:18:42 对 幸好没被烧焦We were. A moment.
283 00:18:46 你看来是好人 但我刚认识你Look, you seem like a very nice guy, but I just met you, okay?
284 00:18:49 希望你别介意And, no offense,
285 00:18:51 我没想过自己的新欢体重95公斤I don't think my rebound guy is a 210-pound person
286 00:18:55 靠安装电视赚钱that installs flat screens for a living.
287 00:18:58 第一 我才94公斤First of all, 208.
288 00:19:00 我也没想到你这么势利And, wow, I didn't peg you as the snobby type.
289 00:19:03 势利 我Snob? Me?
290 00:19:05 听好Okay.
291 00:19:07 我才不是势利鬼I am not a snob.
292 00:19:08 假设我是亿万富豪 Okay, well, let's just say I was a billionaire,
293 00:19:11 我们搭我的豪华游艇and we were out on my giant yacht
294 00:19:13 遨游地中海 啜饮香槟 in the middle of the Mediterranean, sipping champagne,
295 00:19:16 然后我想吻你and I went in to kiss you.
296 00:19:17 你会回吻我吗Would you have kissed me back, then?
297 00:19:21 等一下 势利鬼Hold that thought, snobby.
298 00:19:25 大人物Big Man!
299 00:19:26 你能立刻赶来白宫吗Can you get to the White House right now?
300 00:19:28 15分钟后到I'll be there in 15.
301 00:19:31 虽然我很想留下来听你撒谎 While I'd love to stick around and listen to you lie
302 00:19:34 说你不想跟游艇富豪亲热about not wanting to make out with the yacht guy,
303 00:19:36 但我得走了I have to go.
304 00:19:38 听清楚 我吻功一流For the record, I'm an amazing kisser.
305 00:19:40 我们宅男都是All us nerds are.
306 00:19:41 因为我们比较懂得接吻的美'Cause we appreciate it more.
307 00:19:44 你早上连牙都没刷You didn't even brush your teeth this morning.
308 00:19:47 我吃了一颗薄荷喉糖I ate a Tic Tac.
309 00:20:06 来不及了 亲爱的 你自己错失一次机会Too late, sweetheart. You had your shot and ya blew it.
310 00:20:09 我没有跟踪你I'm not following you.
311 00:20:11 随便你 跟屁虫 没搞头 认了吧Yeah, whatever you say, stalky. It's over. Deal with it.
312 00:20:24 她3.4秒变肖婆 新世界纪录Whoa, she went from zero to psycho in 3.4 seconds, a new world record.
313 00:20:44 史蒂夫Hey, Steve-O.
314 00:20:45 有个疯婆子跟踪我 There's a crazy woman following me.
315 00:20:47 我敢说她是来枪杀总统的I guarantee she's here to shoot the President.
316 00:20:48 劝你拿根棍子痛扁她一顿 And if I were you, I'd break out the billy club and go full throttle on her,
317 00:20:52 真的seriously.
318 00:21:00 请直接通过 中校Go right on through, Lieutenant Colonel.
319 00:21:10 -你干嘛跟着我 -天啊-Why are you following me? -God.
320 00:21:13 他们竟然让你进来God. I can't believe they even let you in here.
321 00:21:16 对啊Right.
322 00:21:18 范中校 你可以直接进入战情室Colonel Van Patten, you can go right into the Situation Room.
323 00:21:22 战情室需要我 See, they need me in the Situation Room,
324 00:21:24 祝你玩得开心so have fun doing whatever you're doing.
325 00:21:26 布伦纳先生 总统在办公室等您Mr. Brenner, the President is waiting for you in the Oval Office.
326 00:21:31 有人比你更重要呢Somebody's more important.
327 00:21:38 佛莱迪 别让小咖进来撒野Freddy, can you keep the riffraff outta here?
328 00:21:47 怎样Yo, wassup?
329 00:21:48 拜托 至少换件衣服吧Come on, you couldn't have at least changed?
330 00:21:51 你叫我赶过来的You told me to rush right over.
331 00:21:53 怎么回事 外面怎么乱成那样What's going on, man? Why's it so crazy out there?
332 00:21:56 关岛的空军基地遭到攻击Our Air Force base in Guam was attacked.
333 00:21:58 被谁By who?
334 00:21:59 不确定 所以我想问你I'm not sure. That's what I wanted to ask you.
335 00:22:01 过来看一下Come here. Check this out.
336 00:22:03 我Me?
337 00:22:04 对 过来Yes, you. Come here.
338 00:22:07 仔细听Listen to this.
339 00:22:10 听起来耳熟吗Does that sound familiar to you?
340 00:22:12 对 我在哪听过Yeah. Where do I know that from?
341 00:22:15 -能暂停吗 -好 等等-Can you freeze it? -Yeah, hold on.
342 00:22:18 放大Go in tighter.
343 00:22:22 -不会吧 -所以你想的跟我一样-That can't be real. -So you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing.
344 00:22:26 我们吃的汉堡里加了什么料What kind of mushrooms did that guy put on our burgers?
345 00:22:31 -他们准备好了 总统先生 -很好-They're ready for you, Mr. President. -Great.
346 00:22:33 我得去向国安会解释 Now I gotta explain this to the National Security Council.
347 00:22:35 帮个忙 山姆Listen, do me a favor, Sam.
348 00:22:37 再看一次 Watch that again, okay?
349 00:22:38 找找有帮助的线索And just see if there's anything you can find to help us out.
350 00:22:41 好 我能坐你的龙椅吗Yeah. Can I sit in your chair?
351 00:22:43 不行 这里有监视录影No, you can't, and everything's recorded.
352 00:22:44 好 我不坐...Okay, I won't. I won't. I won't.
353 00:22:48 我偏要坐 不坐是白痴I'm sittin' in the chair. Gimme a break.
354 00:22:53 总统先生 我们告诉媒体 Mr. President, we told the press
355 00:22:56 那是先进武器测试失灵that it was an advanced weapons test that misfired.
356 00:22:58 -所以尚未引起恐慌 -很好-So there's no mass panic yet. -Well, good.
357 00:23:00 那就尽快解决这件事Then let's solve this thing before there is.
358 00:23:03 总统先生 无人机科技有重大突破 Mr. President, someone's made a major breakthrough in drone technology
359 00:23:05 但不是我们and it wasn't us.
360 00:23:06 这一看就是莫斯科的伎俩This has got Moscow's fingerprints all over it.
361 00:23:08 胡扯 这是伊朗的机密行动Nonsense! It's an Iranian black-ops sideshow.
362 00:23:11 我打包票I guarantee it.
363 00:23:12 我有个想法 I have a theory.
364 00:23:13 根据影片分析I think, based on analysis of the footage,
365 00:23:16 初步结果显示我们正遭受...that preliminary indications are that we were attacked by
366 00:23:21 小蜜蜂攻击Galaga.
367 00:23:23 谁 总统By who, sir?
368 00:23:25 小蜜蜂Galaga.
369 00:23:26 王八蛋Sons of bitches.
370 00:23:28 把小蜜蜂轰到地狱去Then let's blow Galaga to hell.
371 00:23:31 小蜜蜂是谁Who's Galaga?
372 00:23:33 80年代的老式电玩 我爸玩的那种It's an old-timey video game, '80s kind of folks like my dad used to play.
373 00:23:37 总统先生 地球上 没有一个国家的军事科技Mr. President, there is no nation on Earth that has the military technology
374 00:23:41 能把整栋大楼变成小方块to simply pixelate entire buildings.
375 00:23:43 除了伊朗Except Iran.
376 00:23:45 不可能是伊朗 Forget Iran!
377 00:23:46 我想是某先进跨国组织干的I'm thinking this is a cutting-edge multinational enterprise.
378 00:23:48 非政府组织 智库 甚至一家公司An NGO, a think tank, maybe even a corporation.
379 00:23:51 怀疑伊朗 不如怀疑GoogleWe're thinkin' Iran when we should be thinking Google.
380 00:23:54 那就轰炸GoogleSo let's blow up Google.
381 00:23:56 谁能拿走这位阿公的钥匙 以免他载我们去跳海Can somebody take Grandpa's keys away before he drives us into a ditch?
382 00:24:03 -这家伙是谁 -三明治小弟-Who is this person? -The sandwich guy?
383 00:24:06 这位是我以前的电动玩具...This here is my old arcade game technical
384 00:24:10 技术顾问advisor person-guy.
385 00:24:13 山姆布伦纳 在科技业工作Sam Brenner. He works in the tech sector.
386 00:24:16 加州理工学院还是MIT毕业So Caltech, MIT?
387 00:24:17 MIT 对MIT. Yes.
388 00:24:19 不过是麻绳理工学院Mississippi Institute of Technology, though.
389 00:24:21 不是你们想的那间Not the one you were thinking of.
390 00:24:22 针对目前的问题 Anyway, more to the current point,
391 00:24:24 布伦纳先生是世界小蜜蜂冠军Mr. Brenner here was the World Galaga Champion.
392 00:24:27 他对这种游戏了若指掌He knows everything there is to know about this game.
393 00:24:29 你穿着橘子装来有话要说吗So, what is it you and your orange shorts barged in here to say?
394 00:24:32 攻击我们的小蜜蜂Just the Galaga that attacked us,
395 00:24:35 已经绝版了that doesn't exist anymore.
396 00:24:37 拜托 手机下载只要1.99元Hello. You can download Galaga on your phone for $1.99.
397 00:24:41 这版本没办法 小白脸Yeah, not this version though, Blue Lagoon.
398 00:24:44 现在的小蜜蜂发行于1986年The Galaga that exists now came out in 1986.
399 00:24:48 但这是1982年的游乐场版本But this is the 1982 arcade version.
400 00:24:50 他们把那些机器全部回收And all those machines, they recalled them, they reprogrammed them,
401 00:24:53 改写程式 因为原始码有问题because there were glitches in the original code.
402 00:24:55 从超大太空昆虫的 进攻方式就能看出来You can see from the giant space bugs, the way they come swoopin' in.
403 00:24:58 呈之字形前进Kind of ziggy-zaggy.
404 00:25:00 之字形 这不是势利鬼用的字眼吗Ziggy-zag? Is that the snobby term?
405 00:25:01 所以有人根据So someone designed these space bugs
406 00:25:04 30年前的绝版电玩after an old out-of-print version of a video game from 30 years ago
407 00:25:07 设计了这些太空昆虫that nobody would know today?
408 00:25:09 她有资格发言吗 她根本算不上个咖Does she really get to talk twice? She's not even at the grown-ups table.
409 00:25:12 不好意思 这是国安会议I'm sorry. Is this a National Security Council meeting,
410 00:25:15 还是宿舍嗑药趴or a dorm-room drug party?
411 00:25:17 我国已遭受不明军事力量攻击Our nation has just been attacked by an unknown military force.
412 00:25:21 媒体要是知道 我们把责任怪到If this gets out to the press that we're pinning the blame
413 00:25:23 老式电玩上on some old computer game,
414 00:25:25 他们不但会在新闻上嘲笑您 还会把您轰下台they'll not only mock you in the news, Mr. President, they'd impeach you!
415 00:25:30 所以我建议橘色短裤哥立刻出去So I suggest the man in the orange shorts leave the room immediately.
416 00:25:35 我们这些穿长裤的政府官员And those of us with long pants and government positions
417 00:25:38 可以留下来讨论can discuss our options.
418 00:25:43 布伦纳 帮个忙 All right, Brenner. Do me a favor.
419 00:25:45 回避一下 感谢帮忙Take off, all right? I appreciate the help.
420 00:25:47 掰Bye!
421 00:25:50 抱歉 各位长官Sorry, everybody.
422 00:25:53 总统先生Mr. President.
423 00:25:56 各位将军与海军上将Generals and Admirals.
424 00:25:59 穿西装的男性Guys in suits.
425 00:26:01 柴克艾佛隆Zac Efron.
426 00:26:03 甘道夫Gandalf,
427 00:26:04 和哈利波特共处一室and Harry Potter in the same room.
428 00:26:06 想像一下Imagine that.
429 00:26:08 老阿公 养老院见Grandpa, we'll see you around the nursing home.
430 00:26:13 三明治小弟来了The sandwich guy is here.
431 00:26:16 被我耍了Fooled you.
432 00:26:19 球飞过游击手到左中外野 一垒安打Past the shortstop into left center field for a single.
433 00:26:23 这是国民队连续第二局 一开始就上一垒That's the second straight inning where Washington has led off with a single.
434 00:26:26 大家在讨论他直挺挺站在垒包上They're talking about how he's standing straight up over the plate.
435 00:26:30 这招对他似乎很有用 That seems to be working out for him,
436 00:26:31 他能将球打到无人防守地带'cause he just drove that ball into the gap hard.
437 00:26:34 第一球略偏 一坏球First pitch taken outside for a ball, 1-0,
438 00:26:36 挥棒...and the 1-0 swung...
439 00:26:38 布伦纳Brenner!
440 00:26:44 你有毛病啊What's your problem, dude?
441 00:26:46 怎么回事What's goin' on?
442 00:26:48 不要...布伦纳No, Brenner!
443 00:26:50 布伦纳 不...No, Brenner, no, no, no!
444 00:26:52 住手 是我...拉德洛Stop! It's me! It's me! It's Ludlow! It's Ludlow.
445 00:26:55 -拉德洛 神奇小子 -对-Ludlow Lamonsoff, the Wonder Kid? -Yeah.
446 00:26:59 你怎么上我的车How'd you get into my van?
447 00:27:00 你进了那女士家后我就在车上I've been in there ever since you went to that nice lady's house.
448 00:27:03 对了 她挺正的She's cute, by the way.
449 00:27:04 什么What?
450 00:27:06 -那是什么 -保湿乳液-What is that? -This is moisturizer.
451 00:27:10 让我看那是什么Show me what that is.
452 00:27:11 {\an8}三氯甲烷
453 00:27:13 三氯甲烷Chloroform?
454 00:27:14 上面是这样写的吗Is that what that says?
455 00:27:15 你想下药害我You were gonna drug me?
456 00:27:17 -逼不得已才会 -你到底是...-Only as a last resort. -What are you...
457 00:27:19 -我有事得告诉你 -那怎么不打电话给我-There was something I had to tell you. -Why didn't you call me, then?
458 00:27:22 我发现肯尼迪遇刺影片经过剪接Because the CIA has been tapping my phones
459 00:27:24 之后中情局就在窃听我电话ever since I found out the Zapruder film has been edited.
460 00:27:27 是肯尼迪先开枪的JFK shot first!
461 00:27:31 拉德洛 真的是你Ludlow, it is you!
462 00:27:33 -兄弟 让我看看你 -真高兴见到你-Hi, buddy! Let me look at you! -Hey! Good to see you, my boy!
463 00:27:37 你好吗 天啊 你看你How are you? My goodness! Look at you!
464 00:27:40 -就是啊 -还是这么壮-I know. -Stayin' in shape!
465 00:27:41 我在吃全蛋白质饮食 不过也吃碳水化合物I'm on an all protein diet, but I'm also doing carbs.
466 00:27:44 -很好 -说真的 布伦纳-Good. -But seriously, Brenner.
467 00:27:46 我得给你看样东西There's something I have to show you.
468 00:27:48 应该说And let's just say
469 00:27:51 它会扭转大局it's a game changer.
470 00:27:52 {\an8}肯尼迪被复制了吗 51区的新丑闻
471 00:27:56 你是我第一个自愿来访的客人You're the first guest I've had here. Voluntarily.
472 00:27:59 令人震惊啊That's a shocker.
473 00:28:03 {\an8}追寻道场
474 00:28:06 如果丽莎女神是真的If Lady Lisa was real,
475 00:28:08 她大概已申请17道禁制令给你she'd have about 17 restraining orders out on you.
476 00:28:11 我想她如果是真的 Actually, I think if she was real,
477 00:28:13 情况可能有点不同things might just play out a little bit differently.
478 00:28:14 想知道我怎么知道吗You wanna know how I know that?
479 00:28:16 "如果她是真的"If She Was Real.
480 00:28:17 拉德洛着A book written and illustrated by Ludlow Lamonsoff.
481 00:28:19 哇靠Boy.
482 00:28:27 你应该拿去惊石堂卖You should sell that at Barnes & Unstable.
483 00:28:29 -你要一本吗 -不要-Do you want a copy? -No.
484 00:28:31 我还有八本I have eight others.
485 00:28:32 我来这里干嘛 你干嘛想下药害我Why am I here right now? Why did you try to roofie me?
486 00:28:35 对 谢谢你提醒我 跟我来Right. Thank you for reminding me. Okay. Follow me.
487 00:28:40 今天稍早 我国的关岛基地 Earlier today, our military base in Guam
488 00:28:42 被这个人 小蜜蜂攻击was attacked by this guy, Galaga.
489 00:28:44 你怎么知道How would you know that?
490 00:28:45 我有个关岛笔友 他叫宝宝I have a pen pal in Guam. His name is Baubau.
491 00:28:47 宝宝吓坏了Baubau was terribly frightened,
492 00:28:49 所以我黑进政府的伺服器 so I hacked into the government's servers
493 00:28:50 向宝宝保证一切正常to assure Baubau that everything was okay.
494 00:28:52 可是你知道吗 一切并不正常But you know what? Everything was not okay.
495 00:28:54 拉德洛 出去有帮我买低卡沙士吗Ludlow! Did you get me some diet root beer while you were out?
496 00:28:59 你记得我阿嬷You remember my grandma.
497 00:29:01 这么多年了 她还是那副德性She's still a character after all those years.
498 00:29:05 不 阿嬷 好奇怪No, no, Grandma! It's funny.
499 00:29:07 我没机会去 因为...I didn't get a chance to because...
500 00:29:09 怎么了 噢 我记起来了What happened? I remember now.
501 00:29:10 我正想拯救世界免于毁灭I'm trying to save the world from annihilation!
502 00:29:15 你疯了吗Are you nuts?
503 00:29:16 蠢白人You cracker!
504 00:29:18 不要吼我Don't yell at me!
505 00:29:20 我知道大家以为我想太多So look, I know that sometimes people think of me as a bit of a conspiracy nut.
506 00:29:24 对Right.
507 00:29:25 但有时候 布伦纳But sometimes, Brenner, sometimes
508 00:29:28 阴谋是真的the conspiracies are real.
509 00:29:30 你最近常玩太空侵略者吗Have you been playing Space Invaders a lot lately?
510 00:29:33 对 你怎么知道I have. How did you know that?
511 00:29:34 因为你侵略我的领域了 后退'Cause you're invading my space. Back up.
512 00:29:36 布伦纳 记得小时候 Brenner, do you remember when we were children,
513 00:29:39 我们参加电玩锦标赛吗and we played in that video game championship?
514 00:29:40 当然记得Of course, buddy.
515 00:29:42 记得有一卷录影带 Do you remember how there was a tape of the event
516 00:29:44 录下比赛过程和所有游戏and all the games that were played
517 00:29:45 被放进太空舱 然后射进宇宙that was then put in a capsule and shot out into the universe
518 00:29:48 寻找外星生命吗looking for extraterrestrial life?
519 00:29:51 我有理由相信某种外星生命 发现了那卷影带I have reason to believe that some alien life force found that tape
520 00:29:55 将他们所见内容的真实版本and has sent down real-life versions of what they saw
521 00:30:00 派来攻击我们to attack us.
522 00:30:01 布伦纳 我花一整天在网路上Brenner, I spent the day on 4chan
523 00:30:03 搜寻外星人讯息 证明我的理论searching for messages from the aliens to prove my theory.
524 00:30:06 -你想知道一件事吗 -告诉我-And you wanna know something? -Tell me.
525 00:30:08 我什么都没找到I came up absolutely empty.
526 00:30:09 为了喘口气 我站起来So then, as a distraction, I got up
527 00:30:12 想看一集昨晚录的to try to watch an episode of One Tree Hill
528 00:30:14 "篮球的天空"that I recorded on my VCR last night.
529 00:30:15 我最近都在追这部影集I've been binge-watching to catch up.
530 00:30:17 你没有第四台是因为...And you don't have cable because...
531 00:30:19 因为政府透过 第四台电视盒监视我们Because the government spies on us through our cable boxes, Brenner.
532 00:30:22 这有人证实过了That's been proven.
533 00:30:23 你不要他们看到你穿着内裤 And you don't want them to see you dancin' around
534 00:30:25 跳舞给丽莎女神看了in your underwear for Lady Lisa. I get it.
535 00:30:26 不 那卷影带三个月前烧毁了No, that tape was burned three months ago. Anyway...
536 00:30:31 在超高频播送过程中In the middle of the UHF broadcast,
537 00:30:33 女主角的性感片段受到干扰something peculiar interrupted Sophia Bush's sexy shenanigans.
538 00:30:37 不 你这怪咖...No, you're the freak with the fat...
539 00:30:39 {\an8}美国总统徽章
540 00:30:44 地球居民Inhabitants of Earth,
541 00:30:46 我们来自浮鲁拉星we are a race from the planet Volula.
542 00:30:49 我们以你们熟悉的地球人外型前来We came to you in these familiar Earth forms
543 00:30:52 通知你们我们收到你们的太空舱to tell we received your vessel.
544 00:30:54 还有里面的不友善威胁And in it, your hostile challenge.
545 00:30:56 我们接受你们提议 进行赢家全拿的战役We accept your offer to compete in winner-take-all battles.
546 00:31:01 集合你们最英勇的战士 与我们的菁英战士开战吧Gather your bravest warriors to face our bravest warriors!
547 00:31:06 赢家能获得输家的星球The winner takes the loser's planet.
548 00:31:08 你们已经输掉第一战了You have already lost the first battle.
549 00:31:10 我们得到了一项战利品And for our victory, we have taken a trophy.
550 00:31:14 妈妈 我没事I'm okay, Mama.
551 00:31:16 我爱你I love you.
552 00:31:19 那不是真的麦当娜That's not the real Madonna!
553 00:31:21 你们有三次机会You will get three lives.
554 00:31:23 现在剩下两次You have two lives left.
555 00:31:25 打输将导致你们星球完全毁灭Losing both will lead to the total destruction of your planet.
556 00:31:29 下次战役在15小时后The next battle is in 15 hours
557 00:31:31 座标27°24'79"at coordinates 27°24' 79".
558 00:31:37 我听一半就搞混了 Okay, I got lost about halfway through.
559 00:31:38 麦当娜为什么要接管地球Why does Madonna wanna take over our planet?
560 00:31:40 这些白痴外星人 以为1982年太空总署送上太空These moron aliens think that the footage NASA sent up to space
561 00:31:44 我们打电玩的影片of us playing video games in 1982
562 00:31:46 是在宣战was a declaration of war.
563 00:31:48 星际战争 总统先生 Intergalactic war, Mr. President.
564 00:31:50 是不是太夸张 太意外了Isn't that crazy? Isn't that unpredictable?
565 00:31:53 小鲁 听好 小时候你帮我偷接第四台Lud, listen. You helped unscramble my Cinemax when we were kids.
566 00:31:57 你可以叫我楚巴卡I think you can call me Chewie.
567 00:31:58 他们说三次机会是什么意思What do they mean by three lives? What is that?
568 00:32:01 我来回答 是这样的If I may. See, that's just it.
569 00:32:03 那就像老式电玩 楚巴卡总统It's like the video games of old, Chewie Mr. President.
570 00:32:07 投一枚硬币可以死三次One quarter, three lives.
571 00:32:11 这绝对不是硬币 值钱多了 我可以留着吗This is clearly not a quarter. This is far more valuable. May I keep this?
572 00:32:13 -放回桌上 -没问题-Put it back on the desk. -Fair enough.
573 00:32:15 我们输掉第一战 小蜜蜂We lost the first one, Galaga.
574 00:32:17 再输两次Two more losses and...
575 00:32:19 游戏结束It's game over.
576 00:32:20 现在 假设...Now, assuming that...
577 00:32:22 -你作梦 -没问题-You know what, that's not happening. -Fair enough.
578 00:32:24 假设外星麦当娜说的座标 是真实的经纬度Assuming that Alien Madonna's numbers are actually latitude and longitude,
579 00:32:28 那我们可认定下次攻击会发生在then we can safely assume that the next attack should happen somewhere
580 00:32:31 今晚的北印度in Northern India tonight.
581 00:32:33 如果你能请国安局人员确认讯号If you can get your guys from the NSA to clean up the signal,
582 00:32:36 我们就能确定攻击地点then we can pinpoint exactly where the attack is gonna be,
583 00:32:39 甚至知道他们要用 哪种游戏攻击我们and maybe even which game they're gonna use to attack us.
584 00:32:42 我不能下令军方采取行动I can't authorize a military response
585 00:32:44 因为那可能是高中生拍的影片based off a video that looks like it was made by a couple high school kids.
586 00:32:48 至少警告印度人可能有状况You gotta at least warn the people of India somethin' could be comin'.
587 00:32:51 全国上下已经把我当小丑The whole country thinks I'm a buffoon right now as it is.
588 00:32:54 我不能冒险 布伦纳 不行Look, I can't risk it, Brenner. I just can't!
589 00:32:58 我们交往快三年了So I guess we've been dating for almost three years now.
590 00:33:01 对 将近三年Yes, almost three.
591 00:33:03 这是我人生最快乐的三年They have been the best years of my life.
592 00:33:07 我们的感情非常特别...and I think we have something very special.
593 00:33:09 拉吉 这是我想的那样吗Raj, is this what I think it is?
594 00:33:27 你愿意嫁给我吗Will you marry me?
595 00:34:09 不要担心泰姬玛哈陵Don't sweat the whole Taj Mahal thing.
596 00:34:11 世界只剩六大奇景或许比较好It's probably better that there's only an even six Wonders of the World now.
597 00:34:14 我懂 我搞砸了You know what? I get it. I screwed up.
598 00:34:16 下不为例 闭嘴It won't happen again. Shut up.
599 00:34:18 早 总统先生Good morning, Mr. President.
600 00:34:20 拳国电子哥在这里干嘛What's Radio Shack Robbie doing here? And this other
601 00:34:23 还有这一位fella.
602 00:34:24 嗨 拉德洛Hi. Ludlow Lamonsoff.
603 00:34:26 其实我们见过We've actually met before, but you wouldn't remember
604 00:34:29 我在布伦纳车子后座because it was in the back of Brenner's van
605 00:34:31 透过车窗看你and I was watching you through a window.
606 00:34:32 你好香 像水晶肥皂You smell so nice, like the Book of Genesis.
607 00:34:35 拉德洛与布伦纳同意Mr. Lamonsoff and Mr. Brenner
608 00:34:38 将电玩技巧传授给你和团队have agreed to share their video game expertise with you and your team.
609 00:34:41 乐意之至Happy to do it.
610 00:34:42 恕我直言 总统With all due respect, sir,
611 00:34:43 让未经安全调查的平民进来...having civilians with zero security clearance in this facility is...
612 00:34:46 这些平民比我整个政府 These civilians have better insight into our current crisis
613 00:34:50 更了解目前的危机than my entire administration.
614 00:34:51 我不太想教了 她态度好差I dunno if I wanna do it now. She's being so mean.
615 00:34:54 我想闪人了-I kind of wanna leave. -Okay.
616 00:34:55 -他走我也走 -别这样-If he leaves, I leave. We're a team. -Stop it.
617 00:34:57 会一直都这样子吗 This is how it's gonna be the whole time?
618 00:34:58 两位 别闹了...你带路Guys, knock it off. Lead the way.
619 00:35:00 没问题 总统先生Of course, Mr. President.
620 00:35:04 有进展吗 中校So have we made any progress, Colonel?
621 00:35:06 大有进展 总统Enormous progress, sir.
622 00:35:08 我们发现攻击我方的物体 是由能量构成We now understand the entities that attacked us were made of energy.
623 00:35:11 智慧能量Intelligent energy.
624 00:35:13 -早 中校 -早 麦可-Morning, Colonel. -Good morning, Michael.
625 00:35:17 麦可是机器人Michael's a robot!
626 00:35:20 那些外星人可能发现 在太空舱看到的游戏I think maybe the extraterrestrials took what they saw in the orbiter
627 00:35:23 运用光能进行重建and recreated the same things using light energy.
628 00:35:26 再派这些光体攻击我们And then sent these light creatures back at us.
629 00:35:29 所以固体 子弹和飞弹 都伤不了他们That's why solid matter, bullets and missiles, won't harm them.
630 00:35:34 有任何东西伤得了他们吗Can anything harm them?
631 00:35:35 也许Maybe.
632 00:35:37 我们在关岛发现的方块相当活跃The cubes we recovered in Guam are normally pretty feisty.
633 00:35:41 你们看Hey, look at that!
634 00:35:43 可是他不喜欢He didn't like it though.
635 00:35:47 但我们用增压光子射击它们 But they calm down pretty quick
636 00:35:49 它们很快就会冷静下来when we hit them with some super-charged light particles.
637 00:35:53 我还想看贱女追踪飞弹And the slut-seeking missile, I'd love to see that.
638 00:35:56 -这里有吗 -你真聪明-Do you have that around here? -You are so smart.
639 00:35:58 你这么觉得Yeah? You think so?
640 00:35:59 难怪你考上麻绳理工学院Is that how you got into the Mississippi Institute of Technology?
641 00:36:02 真希望我没跟你进更衣室You know, I wish I never went in that closet with you.
642 00:36:04 我自己边喝边哭很开心I was very happy drinking and crying by myself.
643 00:36:07 我好后悔企图吻你I so regret trying to kiss you.
644 00:36:09 我宁愿吻那个游艇富豪 也不要吻你I would kiss the guy in the yacht 100 times before I kissed you.
645 00:36:20 -继续 -好-Moving on. -Yeah.
646 00:36:23 我们已开始指导海豹突击队 We have begun instructing the Navy SEAL task force
647 00:36:26 使用原型武器on the use of the prototype weapons.
648 00:36:28 -我们为何受训 -战争-What do we train for? -War!
649 00:36:30 -我们为何而战 -为了胜利-Why do we fight? -To win!
650 00:36:31 -我们何时放弃 -绝不放弃-When do we quit? -Never!
651 00:36:33 -我们为何受训 -战争-What do we train for? -War!
652 00:36:35 -我们为何而战 -为了胜利-Why do we fight? -To win!
653 00:36:37 -我们何时放弃 -绝不放弃-When do we quit? -Never!
654 00:36:39 新专家顾问或许想对 海豹突击队说几句话Perhaps our new expert advisors would like to say a few words to the SEALs.
655 00:36:44 完了Boy.
656 00:36:46 各位 你们效忠国家Men, you have served this nation with distinction,
657 00:36:49 在世界每个偏远角落的交战地带in combat zones, in every nook and cranny of this godforsaken world,
658 00:36:55 击退每个敌人defeating every enemy they've thrown at you.
659 00:36:58 你好Hey, what's up?
660 00:37:00 布伦纳Brenner?
661 00:37:01 我找不到保姆I couldn't get a babysitter.
662 00:37:03 总统 找来这两位电玩专家The President has brought in these two civilian Arcaders
663 00:37:09 我们奉命必须听他们...who we are required to listen to
664 00:37:12 发言120秒for 120 seconds,
665 00:37:15 现在...starting...
666 00:37:16 -我不行啦 -你可以-I can't do this. -You can do this.
667 00:37:18 开始...now!
668 00:37:19 我不行 我会吐I can't do this. I'm gonna throw up!
669 00:37:21 我们懂 他们不懂 装一下就好We know how to do this. They don't. Just act the part.
670 00:37:24 大家好Hey, guys.
671 00:37:25 你们好吗 谢谢萨德将军的介绍How are you? Hey, thank you, General Zod, for that beautiful intro.
672 00:37:29 很高兴见到各位Hey, fellas. Good to see you.
673 00:37:33 自我介绍 我叫山姆布伦纳Let me introduce myself. My name is Sam Brenner.
674 00:37:36 这是神奇小子 也是大家熟知的...And this is the Wonder Kid, also known as...
675 00:37:40 暗黑梦魇Your worst nightmare!
676 00:37:46 布伦纳 我觉得Looks to me, Brenner,
677 00:37:48 有人好像忘了派最强菁英给我们like someone forgot to send us the best of the best.
678 00:37:51 来的却是一群尿失禁And instead, dropped off a bunch of incontinent,
679 00:37:55 穿包大人纸尿裤adult diaper-wearing,
680 00:37:58 多愁善感的娘炮candy-assed, cries-himself-to-sleep,
681 00:38:01 没三小路用的妈宝women-baby-man-people!
682 00:38:04 在我眼前的这些人是谁What am I lookin' at right now?
683 00:38:06 你们是军人吗 还是"魔力麦克"的演员Are you guys soldiers? Or the cast of Magic Mike?
684 00:38:09 要打仗还是跳脱衣舞You gonna fight? Or dance naked?
685 00:38:14 从现在起From now on,
686 00:38:16 你们这些娘炮废柴you maggots, you little girl maggots...
687 00:38:19 又娘又废的垃圾Whatever the hell the female form of maggot is.
688 00:38:21 娘废Magina?
689 00:38:23 你们这些娘废You magina!
690 00:38:24 等你们这些娘废剉屎在裤子上When you magina poop your pants,
691 00:38:27 就会想起我you're gonna be thinking of me!
692 00:38:29 在裤子上In your pants!
693 00:38:31 你们懂我意思You know what I mean.
694 00:38:34 了吗Do you feel me?
695 00:38:37 了吗 水手Do you feel me, sailor?
696 00:38:39 你这漂亮的努比亚人You beautiful Nubian man!
697 00:38:42 上帝的完美杰作You gorgeous specimen of what God can make!
698 00:38:46 听懂吗Do you feel me?
699 00:38:47 我想他要开扁了 小鲁I think you're about to feel him, Lud.
700 00:38:50 我剉到动弹不得I can't move.
701 00:38:52 我帮你 过来Lemme help you. Hey, come here.
702 00:38:54 抱歉 别碰他 坐下Sorry. Don't touch the guy. Just sit down.
703 00:38:56 -我表现得好吗 -烂透了-Did I do good? -You did awful.
704 00:38:57 坐下Sit down.
705 00:38:59 不好意思Sorry about that, everybody.
706 00:39:01 我知道有点瞎I know it's weird.
707 00:39:03 两个逊咖竟然提供意见给军中猛男Two buffoons like me and this guy giving advice to you badasses.
708 00:39:06 但其实我们受过训练But the truth is we've been training.
709 00:39:10 我们从小就在训练前额叶皮质Since childhood, we've been training our prefrontal cortex
710 00:39:13 执行极复杂的动作技能to perform extremely complex motor feats
711 00:39:17 一种特殊认知敏锐度的眼手协调with hand-eye coordination unique to a very specific cognitive acuity.
712 00:39:22 我在宿舍嗑药趴学到不少术语I learned a lot of big words at the dorm-room drug parties.
713 00:39:25 但那对我们的人生毫无意义All of it's been meaningless in all areas of our life.
714 00:39:30 但突然间 它成了地球救星But suddenly, it might be comin' in handy to saving our planet.
715 00:39:35 希望各位忘掉我们是死老百姓So we're hopin' you guys can forget about us bein' civilian morons,
716 00:39:39 让我们在有限时间内 教你们几样东西and let us teach you a few things in the little time we have.
717 00:39:43 我们或许能帮你们打胜仗I think we might help you win this thing.
718 00:39:47 在爆破彗星中只有一个目标There is only one objective in Asteroids.
719 00:39:51 那就是摧毁所有岩石和飞碟That is to destroy every rock and every saucer.
720 00:39:55 千万别被这些巨石击中You don't wanna get hit by any of these boulders.
721 00:39:58 所以建议大家待在中间That's why I recommend stayin' in the middle.
722 00:40:01 看到榔头不见得要去抓Just 'cause you see a hammer doesn't mean grab it.
723 00:40:03 手上有榔头很难爬梯子You're not gonna climb a ladder with a hammer in your hand.
724 00:40:06 -飞得真漂亮 -孤狼-Very good. -Good piloting, Maverick!
725 00:40:09 别光靠雷达Don't lock into radar.
726 00:40:11 没关系 小子 没关系Okay, it's fine, son. It's fine.
727 00:40:13 你刚刚炸掉了整个地球You just blew up our entire planet.
728 00:40:15 千万别让小蓝幽灵追到你Ain't no way Inky's catching up to you!
729 00:40:20 专心在太空船上I want you to focus mostly on the ships.
730 00:40:24 每得一万分就多一艘三角船Every 10,000 points, you get another triangle ship.
731 00:40:27 那样有好处That's a good thing.
732 00:40:31 靠Damn.
733 00:40:33 他还是宝刀未老He's still the master.
734 00:40:35 这就像我们约会时那样 This is just like when we were dating.
735 00:40:37 心无旁骛 只有我们小俩口No distractions, just us.
736 00:40:39 还有蛋糕And cake.
737 00:40:41 大人物 别用这么多奶油糖霜Big Man. Settle down there with that butterscotch frosting.
738 00:40:44 太多了吗 这样吧What? Too much? Well, you know what?
739 00:40:46 看到七彩糖你才会吓到You're really not gonna like what I do with the rainbow sprinkles.
740 00:40:48 -来罗 我喜欢 -好恶-Come on now! No! I love it! -Will! No!
741 00:40:51 七彩糖怪兽来罗Here comes the sprinkle monster!
742 00:40:56 总统先生Mr. President.
743 00:40:58 是 珍妮佛Yes, Jennifer.
744 00:40:59 我们刚收到"牛肉在哪里"女士的外星讯息We just received an alien transmission from the "Where's the Beef?" lady.
745 00:41:03 她说什么What did she say?
746 00:41:04 首先 她问牛肉在哪里First of all, she asked where the beef was.
747 00:41:06 然后说下次战役在明天日落时Then she said that the next battle was on at sundown tomorrow.
748 00:41:09 纬度51°30'29" 经度0°9'42"5130' 29 " latitude. 09' 42" longitude.
749 00:41:13 那是哪里Where is that?
750 00:41:15 {\an8}英国 伦敦
751 00:41:18 {\an8}海德公园
752 00:41:37 快...Go! Go! Go! Move! Move! Move!
753 00:41:48 现场净空Clear the area!
754 00:41:50 你们快离开The lot of ya, come on! Move it!
755 00:41:53 叫你们快离开I said, move it!
756 00:41:55 -怎么回事 -我来处理 你好-What's all this then, mate? -Hey, I got this. Hi.
757 00:41:57 我们是美国人 We're Americans.
758 00:41:59 贵国政府允许我国海豹突袭队Our Navy SEALs were given permission by your government
759 00:42:01 为外星人入侵做准备to prepare for an extraterrestrial invasion,
760 00:42:04 我们相信60分钟后会发生在这位置which we believe will occur at these coordinates in approximately 60 minutes.
761 00:42:09 我们要拍啤酒广告We're shootin' a beer commercial.
762 00:42:10 好吧 那祝你们拍摄顺利Right, then. Break a leg, then, yeah?
763 00:42:14 那是干嘛 干嘛骗他What was that, man? Why'd you lie to him?
764 00:42:17 我不想引起恐慌 美国佬I'm trying not to cause total panic, Yank.
765 00:42:20 至于你And, you...
766 00:42:23 我不想再听到你说话 懂吗I don't want to hear another word out of you. All right?
767 00:42:28 人肉鸡鸡套You walkin' wiener coat.
768 00:42:30 什么是鸡鸡套What's a wiener coat?
769 00:42:36 首相女士 非常感谢您的合作Madam Prime Minister, I can't thank you enough for your cooperation on this.
770 00:42:40 别客气 威尔But of course, Will.
771 00:42:41 相信在我们强国的合作下Well, I trust with the concord of our powers
772 00:42:44 我们能瓦解这些笨蛋的阴谋we can duff up the jiggery-pokery of these blighters
773 00:42:47 把他们送回and send them scuffering back
774 00:42:48 他妈的外星世界to the fractious firmament from whence they came!
775 00:42:51 就是啊I know, right?
776 00:42:52 没错Bang on!
777 00:42:56 她说虾毁我听咙没No idea what she just said.
778 00:43:01 我好想摸摸看I just wanna touch it.
779 00:43:03 小心这些轻航空炮 我们没有多的Easy with those light cannons, gentlemen. We don't have any backups.
780 00:43:08 这些雷射枪有用吗 范派登These ray guns gonna work, Van Patten?
781 00:43:10 我们没机会进行实测 长官We had no way to field-test them, sir.
782 00:43:12 但电脑模型显示很可能有效But our computer models show a great likelihood of effectiveness.
783 00:43:14 很可能 你让我的士兵 "Great likelihood"? You're sending my men into battle
784 00:43:16 带未测试的武器上战场with untested ordnance?
785 00:43:18 我只用两天就达成 地球上没人做过的事I had two days to do things never done before on this planet, sir.
786 00:43:22 讲话要有分寸 小姐Just remember who you're talking to, missy.
787 00:43:26 不需要待在这里的人 跟我到支援区Anybody who doesn't need to be here, follow me to the support area.
788 00:43:32 就是你们两个猪头That means you two nipple-twisters.
789 00:43:35 快走Move it!
790 00:43:37 中校 放心 一定有用Hey, Colonel. Don't worry. They're gonna work.
791 00:43:42 美军受攻击 库柏总统如何因应The US military was attacked and what does President Cooper do?
792 00:43:45 批评者说 他摆烂His critics say, "Nothing."
793 00:43:48 这么说也不对 他做了蛋糕That's not strictly true. He made a cake.
794 00:43:50 {\an8}外星人入侵
795 00:43:51 不 因为我是七彩糖怪兽No, because I'm the sprinkle monster!
796 00:43:53 {\an8}大厨统帅
797 00:43:53 你是我的七彩糖怪兽You are my sprinkle monster!
798 00:43:57 -暂停一下 尚恩 -谢谢-Let's put that on pause, Sean. -Thank you.
799 00:44:02 关掉Turn it off.
800 00:44:04 抱歉 威尔Apologies, Will.
801 00:44:06 我只想和太太享受两人世界Just wanted to spend some quality time with the wife.
802 00:44:10 我了解I understand.
803 00:44:11 我先生说我们不像从前那么亲密My husband actually said that we don't spend time together like we used to,
804 00:44:14 所以我带他去一家陶艺教室so I took him to one of those do-it-yourself pottery studios.
805 00:44:18 他做"世界最性感首相"马克杯给我And he made me a "World's Sexiest Prime Minister" coffee mug.
806 00:44:22 或许他看到别人看不见的地方Well, maybe he sees somethin' that nobody else does, you know.
807 00:44:28 有动静吗 范中校Anything, Colonel Van Patten?
808 00:44:31 出奇安静 总统先生It's eerily quiet, Mr. President.
809 00:44:42 要是太空侵略者 In case it's Space Invaders,
810 00:44:44 我该说件事...I just thought of something I should tell...
811 00:44:45 请返回支援区Please return to the support area!
812 00:44:47 有一种五加一队形Okay, but there's a 5 plus 1 formation, all right?
813 00:44:49 如果我们需要你 就会去找你 懂吗If we need ya, we know where to find ya. All right?
814 00:44:52 滚蛋Now, bugger off.
815 00:44:55 讨厌的臭宅男Bloody geek.
816 00:45:36 是大蜈蚣It's Centipede.
817 00:45:43 兄弟们 照我们说的攻击Okay, boys! Do exactly what we talked about!
818 00:45:46 从头部开始射击蜈蚣Shoot each centipede from the head down!
819 00:45:49 别射中间 不然会分成两只Do not hit him in the middle or he will split into two!
820 00:46:09 不是说别让它们分成两只吗No! No! Didn't we just say don't split him in half?
821 00:46:12 射头Shoot for the head!
822 00:46:13 那些蘑菇挡到了The mushroom things are in the way!
823 00:46:16 那就射蘑菇 跟打电动一样You shoot the mushroom things! Like the game!
824 00:46:22 它们每次碰到蘑菇 就会改变方向Guys, every time he hits a mushroom, he's gonna change direction!
825 00:46:28 天啊 拜托找出移动模式 预测它们的动向My God! Will you please find the pattern and anticipate!
826 00:46:31 我不知道什么鬼移动模式I don't know the patterns!
827 00:46:33 达中士 12点钟方向Sergeant Duff! 12 o'clock!
828 00:46:50 这是什么鬼啤酒广告What the hell kind of beer commercial is this?
829 00:46:53 我说它是啤酒广告 它就是啤酒广告If I say it's a beer commercial, it's a bloody beer commercial.
830 00:47:06 给我滚回来 美国佬Get your flabby ass back here, Yank!
831 00:47:30 给它们下马威 水啦Shock and awe, baby!
832 00:47:32 我们得高分 外星废物High score, alien trash!
833 00:47:34 你们惹错星球了You messed with the wrong planet!
834 00:47:35 大英帝国尚盖勇From Land's End to John o'Groats!
835 00:47:37 -你在说什么鬼 -我不知道-What the hell are you saying? -I don't know!
836 00:47:43 拉德洛 拿个轻航空炮 快过来 需要你帮忙Hey, Ludlow! Grab a light cannon! Get out here now! I need your help!
837 00:47:47 我 不 我看起来这么可口Me? No! Look at me! I look delicious!
838 00:47:49 他们会把我当太空小笼包吃下去They'll gobble me up like space dim sum!
839 00:47:54 到第二关了It's level two!
840 00:47:56 只有我们能打到这关We're the only ones who can do this!
841 00:47:58 快点 你是神奇小子Come on! You're the Wonder Kid!
842 00:48:00 你无权在此使用武器 布伦纳先生You have no authority to dispense weapons here, Mr. Brenner!
843 00:48:03 总统先生Mr. President?
844 00:48:05 让那两个老宅男主导Let the nerds take over.
845 00:48:08 您说什么 总统What was that, sir?
846 00:48:10 让那两个老宅男主导Let the nerds take over!
847 00:48:14 让那两个老宅男主导Let the nerds take over!
848 00:48:17 布伦纳说得对Brenner's right.
849 00:48:20 我是神奇小子I am the Wonder Kid.
850 00:48:41 这种场面帅呆了This is the best, huh?
851 00:48:42 我从来没这么爽过I've never been happier and more alive!
852 00:49:12 好 你们不必熊抱了Okay. You can let go of each other now.
853 00:49:24 你解决那个 我解决这个All right, you finish that. I'll finish this.
854 00:49:32 我30年前痛宰过你 现在让你回味一下It's been 30 years since I kicked your butt, and it's gonna happen again!
855 00:49:49 挥动手臂With the arms!
856 00:49:51 往前Let's take it forward.
857 00:49:54 收回来Then take it back.
858 00:49:58 -好好享受 -嘿-Enjoy it! -Hey!
859 00:50:06 过来Come here!
860 00:50:09 你这个小...You little...
861 00:50:20 你是谁 先生Who are you, mister?
862 00:50:22 小朋友 我只是个爱打电动的鲁蛇Son, I'm just a loser who's good at old video games.
863 00:50:26 感谢老天Well, thank God for that.
864 00:50:28 今天美国政府请客Drinks are on the US government!
865 00:50:32 政府隐瞒了胡佛水坝下 Which is covering up the truth
866 00:50:33 有古金字塔的秘密about the ancient pyramid under the Hoover Dam!
867 00:50:38 你还不赖 布伦纳You know, you're all right, Brenner.
868 00:50:40 你也是 势利鬼You're all right too, snobby.
869 00:50:42 你要整晚端着 还是要喝掉You gonna nurse that all night long, or when are you gonna start hittin' it?
870 00:50:45 如果只是伤到几个外敌 可以喝啤酒庆祝We ding up a few foreign belligerents, beer is fine.
871 00:50:48 但我们击退了整批外星人大军We defeat a full-on alien invasion,
872 00:50:50 我想喝烈一点的I'm thinking something a little stronger.
873 00:50:54 不 你在跟我呛声 跟你拼了No. You're really challenging me to drink you under the table? You got it.
874 00:50:59 你不见得拼得过我I'm not so sure you can, buddy.
875 00:51:01 我在西点军校是班上的伏特加女王I was the vodka shot record holder in my class at West Point.
876 00:51:03 有一次我在速食店喝了15杯奶昔 Well, one time I drank 15 milkshakes at Denny's,
877 00:51:06 看谁比较猛so we'll see what happens.
878 00:51:08 我的电玩高手呢Where are my gamers at?
879 00:51:10 小时候你浪费的时间终于得到回报Looks like all the time you wasted when we were kids is finally payin' off.
880 00:51:13 -就是啊 -帅啦-Yeah, baby. -All right, huh?
881 00:51:15 总统 我为您倒了杯冰啤酒Sir, may I have the honor of pouring you a frosty?
882 00:51:18 危机期间不能被人看到总统喝酒The President can't be seen drinking during times of crisis.
883 00:51:22 所以谁都不准看So nobody look!
884 00:51:23 对 眼光移开That's it. Look away!
885 00:51:26 地球居民Inhabitants of Earth.
886 00:51:28 恭喜你们打赢这场仗Congratulations, you have won this battle.
887 00:51:33 请接受我们奉上一名战士 作为你们的战利品Please accept one of our warriors as a trophy of your victory.
888 00:51:46 下一次挑战可没这么容易The next challenge will not be as easy.
889 00:51:48 细节随后透过此讯号送出The details will be sent via this signal shortly
890 00:51:51 记住 我们还是以二比一领先Remember, we are still leading two battles to one.
891 00:51:56 再输一次 你们的世界就将毁灭One more loss for you will mean the annihilation of your world.
892 00:52:00 祝你们好运 愿最优星球获胜Good luck and may the best planet win.
893 00:52:05 你们听到了Well, you heard 'em.
894 00:52:06 大家重返岗位Let's get back to work.
895 00:52:08 你们得准备迎接下场战役We gotta get you guys ready for your next battle.
896 00:52:10 战役 我们Battle? Us? Huh?
897 00:52:11 我们成了固定咖吗This is like a regular thing now?
898 00:52:13 记得我说你人生不该只有这样吗Remember when I told you that you were meant for something more in life?
899 00:52:16 记得Yeah.
900 00:52:17 这是你的大好机会This could be it, buddy.
901 00:52:19 没有人比你更厉害There's nobody better than you.
902 00:52:21 这个嘛Well,
903 00:52:23 不是百战百胜not at every game.
904 00:52:25 不 想都别想No. No! Never gonna happen.
905 00:52:29 他说得对 布伦纳You know, he's right, Brenner.
906 00:52:30 我们又不知道去哪找那个白痴We don't even know where to find that idiot!
907 00:52:37 埃迪 四度结婚离婚Eddie Plant. Married and divorced four times,
908 00:52:40 1991与2004年宣告破产declared bankruptcy in 1991 and 2004.
909 00:52:43 2005年 他因骇入手机公司被捕In 2005, he was caught hacking cell phone companies
910 00:52:46 让用户每个月的帐单上and adding one of those fees you see on your bill every month,
911 00:52:48 增加一些莫名的费用but have no idea what it is.
912 00:52:50 他在遭判刑20年之前Made about 50 million before he was convicted and sentenced
913 00:52:52 海削五千万to 20 years in prison.
914 00:52:58 警卫 带我出去Guards, get me outta here.
915 00:53:00 是那个恶毒的大蜈蚣杀手It's that mean Centipede killer.
916 00:53:03 希望他别用雷射枪杀了我I hope he don't zap me with his space gun.
917 00:53:06 你好吗 埃迪How are you, Eddie?
918 00:53:08 怎样 亚军哥'Sup, Second Place?
919 00:53:10 你的小跟班也来了And your sidekick here,
920 00:53:12 小胖总统Presi-donut.
921 00:53:14 没想到你的支持率这么惨不忍嘟I didn't know you can have an approval rating so catatastrophic.
922 00:53:18 -埃迪 我们需要你帮忙 -我知道你们需要什么-Okay, look, Eddie, here's what we need. -I know what you need.
923 00:53:21 你们需要旋风之火You need the Fire Blaster.
924 00:53:23 谁是旋风之火Who's the Fire Blaster?
925 00:53:25 正是在下 那是我的绰号 翘臀妹Me. That's my nickname, sugar buns.
926 00:53:28 没错 你自己瞎掰的Yeah. That's right. The one you made up for yourself.
927 00:53:30 管他是谁瞎掰的Who cares who made it up?
928 00:53:32 这称号帅呆了It's totally tubular!
929 00:53:34 对啦Yeah.
930 00:53:35 这就是我不能跟布伦纳同队的原因See, this is why I don't think I can have Brenner on my team.
931 00:53:40 他算不上电玩高手He's just not really a gamer.
932 00:53:41 拿铜板来 自己挑个游戏 我把你打得落花流水Break out a bag of quarters. Pick a game. I'll destroy you at it.
933 00:53:44 那我就挑个游戏I'll pick a game, all right.
934 00:53:48 -我要闪人了 -不...别这样-Okay. I'm leaving. -No, no, no. Hey, here, come on.
935 00:53:51 坐下Sit down.
936 00:53:53 为了答谢你帮我们Okay, in exchange for helping us,
937 00:53:55 我会亲自找假释委员会 缩短你的刑期I will personally speak to the parole board about reducing your sentence.
938 00:54:02 -免谈 -免谈-Pass. -Pass?
939 00:54:05 埃迪不接受这条件That deal don't work for Eddie Plant.
940 00:54:07 你要旋风之火帮忙 他有些要求You want the Fire Blaster's help, he has some demands.
941 00:54:10 要求Demands?
942 00:54:20 变成老花眼之火了The Bifocal Blaster is here, by the way.
943 00:54:26 我要一座岛I want an island.
944 00:54:27 欧买尬Oh, my God.
945 00:54:29 全美有18617座There are 18,617 named islands
946 00:54:31 已命名的岛屿that are part of the United States and its territories.
947 00:54:34 更别说还有无数的无名岛Not to mention all the countless unnamed ones,
948 00:54:37 例如即将出现的艾威夷like the soon-to-be-called Edwahii.
949 00:54:41 你休想得到一座岛You're not getting an island.
950 00:54:43 然后我要完全特赦 永远离开这里Then I want a full pardon. I wanna get outta here for good.
951 00:54:46 等我出狱 我一辈子都不要...And after I do, I don't wanna pay no taxes like,
952 00:54:49 缴税forever.
953 00:54:50 也不缴营业税 比方说 我想买口香糖And no sales tax. If I wanna buy some, for instance, gum,
954 00:54:53 我要秀一张卡 表示我拯救了世界I wanna flash me a card that says "I saved the world."
955 00:54:56 我的口香糖不必缴什么鬼营业税I don't have to pay no shitballs taxes on the gum.
956 00:55:01 我要一驾匿踪攻击直升机 就像超级杯上空那种And I want a stealth-attack helicopter, like they fly over the Super Bowl
957 00:55:05 随时供我差遣使用at my disposal, at all times.
958 00:55:07 那样我才能到处飞You know, so I can fly around.
959 00:55:09 如果世界没灭亡 我不想再塞车If the world's still here, I don't wanna deal with traffic no more.
960 00:55:13 最后And lastly,
961 00:55:16 我要你在白宫里I want you to set up a romantic rendezvous
962 00:55:18 安排我跟球后小威廉斯 和玛莎史都华between me, Serena Williams and Martha Stewart
963 00:55:22 来场浪漫约会in the Lincoln Bedroom.
964 00:55:24 第一 你不可能得到直升机 Number one. You're not getting a helicopter
965 00:55:27 或任何交通工具or any sort of flying or driving vehicle.
966 00:55:29 第二 联邦政府 Number two. I'm pretty sure the federal government
967 00:55:31 可以不向你收所得税could do without your income taxes and be fine.
968 00:55:34 第三 如果帮我们击败这些东西And number three. If you help us beat these things,
969 00:55:38 我可以让你出去I think we can get you outta here.
970 00:55:42 跟那两个人玩3P呢And the Martha-Serena sandwich?
971 00:55:44 挑一位 我安排你们喝咖啡Pick one of 'em. We'll set up a coffee.
972 00:55:47 小威廉斯 就这么办Serena Williams. And we are closed.
973 00:55:52 喂Hello?
974 00:55:55 我了解I understand.
975 00:55:58 时间就在今夜It's happening tonight.
976 00:56:00 地点呢Where?
977 00:56:01 纽约市New York City.
978 00:56:02 好戏上场罗Fuhgeddaboutit!
979 00:56:26 你好 大苹果Hello, Big Apple.
980 00:56:28 菁英救兵驾到The cavalry has arrived.
981 00:56:37 感谢你们前来Thanks for comin'.
982 00:56:39 我们看到你们击退大蜈蚣We saw how you guys took care of the centipedes.
983 00:56:42 希望你们也能帮助我们We hope you can do the same for us.
984 00:56:44 希望如此 现在是什么状况We hope so also. Well, what are we dealin' with?
985 00:56:47 这边请Over here.
986 00:56:50 菜鸟 告诉他们你看到什么Rookie, just tell 'em what you saw.
987 00:56:55 超可怕It was awful.
988 00:56:56 好像那种怪物电影It was like one of those monster movies, you know?
989 00:56:59 可是这次...But this time
990 00:57:00 怪物是真的the monster was real.
991 00:57:02 这个怪物是谁And who was this monster?
992 00:57:05 吃豆人Pac-Man.
993 00:57:06 吃豆人 靠 我的最爱Pac-Man? Boom. That's my jam.
994 00:57:08 我们用轻航空炮 Let's get us some light cannons and blow this sucker back
995 00:57:10 把那个缺角披萨轰回老家去to whatever planet it came from.
996 00:57:12 不 轻航空炮杀不死吃豆人No! No, light cannons don't kill Pac-Man.
997 00:57:14 只有那些幽灵才有办法Those little ghosts do.
998 00:57:16 靠 那我们去找幽灵Boom! Let's get us some little ghosts.
999 00:57:18 你们要幽灵You want ghosts?
1000 00:57:21 她有幽灵She's got ghosts.
1001 00:57:32 我们用方块的能量力场科技We used the energy force-field technology from the cube
1002 00:57:35 为每辆车研发四台迷你发电机 这些车也可叫to develop four mini-generators for each of the cars.
1003 00:57:38 幽灵Ghosts.
1004 00:57:39 我们称之为XM950攻击组件We're calling them XM950 attack modules.
1005 00:57:42 就叫迷你幽灵 Okay and we're callin' 'em Mini Ghosts
1006 00:57:44 我们记不住你讲的'cause we'll never remember what you just said.
1007 00:57:47 为什么有四辆 我们只有三个人 第四个是谁Why are there four of 'em? There's only three of us. Who's our fourth?
1008 00:57:50 容我介绍岩谷彻大师May I introduce to you Professor Toru Iwatani.
1009 00:57:55 吃豆人的创造者The creator of Pac-Man.
1010 00:58:12 你会说日语You speak Japanese?
1011 00:58:14 不会No.
1012 00:58:16 先生 真荣幸 Sir, what an honor.
1013 00:58:18 谢谢你为我们的生活带来欢乐Thanks for all the joy you brought to our lives.
1014 00:58:20 幸会Awesome.
1015 00:58:23 我让你的游戏成了我旗下的婊子I made your game my bitch.
1016 00:58:29 什么是...What is a
1017 00:58:31 婊子"bitch"?
1018 00:58:32 别理他 他是罪犯Don't worry about it. He's a criminal.
1019 00:58:39 -你还好吗 -嗯-You all right? -Yeah.
1020 00:58:41 假设他们跟大蜈蚣一样 Okay, now, assuming they play by the rules of the game like
1021 00:58:43 照游戏规则来they did with Centipede,
1022 00:58:45 用能量场打到吃豆人三次 我们就赢了if you guys hit Pac-Man three times with this energy field, we win.
1023 00:58:49 拉德洛说得对 你闻起来好香Ludlow's right. You do smell good.
1024 00:58:53 -祝你好运 -好-Good luck. -Yeah.
1025 00:59:08 各位 我会传吃豆人目前的座标 Gentlemen, I'll be sending Pac-Man's current coordinates
1026 00:59:10 到你们车上的GPSto each of your car's GPSes.
1027 00:59:12 找到他 歼灭他Let's locate and eliminate.
1028 00:59:16 加油Come on, guys.
1029 00:59:37 吃豆人是坏蛋Pac-Man's a bad guy?
1030 00:59:43 吃豆人并不坏Pac-Man is not bad!
1031 00:59:46 我创造他是为了给世人带来欢乐I created him to bring joy to all the people of the world.
1032 00:59:50 外星人把他给洗脑了They have brainwashed him!
1033 00:59:53 在他内心深处 他善良 温柔Deep down, he's kind, gentle.
1034 00:59:58 能和你分享心事或一起吃汉堡Someone you can tell your troubles to or grab a hamburger with.
1035 01:00:07 等一下你们就知道了You'll see.
1036 01:00:13 岩谷大师 回到车上Professor Iwatani, get back in the car!
1037 01:00:15 岩谷大师 你要干嘛Professor Iwatani, what are you doin'?
1038 01:00:17 我要跟他说话 他是我儿子I will talk to him. He's my son!
1039 01:00:20 不 这样不好吧No, that's a bad idea.
1040 01:00:29 哈罗Hello,
1041 01:00:31 我的心肝宝贝my sweet little boy.
1042 01:00:34 你看你长这么大了Look how big you've grown!
1043 01:00:36 我为你感到骄傲I'm so proud of you.
1044 01:00:39 真是太温馨了It's so sweet. He's so sweet.
1045 01:00:43 可是你搞的这些破坏But all these destructive things you're doing,
1046 01:00:45 是不对的it's wrong.
1047 01:00:48 我是你父亲I'm your father.
1048 01:00:53 我知道I know
1049 01:00:55 你是乖宝宝you're a good boy.
1050 01:01:04 不No!
1051 01:01:07 来人把这个蠢婊子给毙了Somebody kill this stupid bitch!
1052 01:01:11 情同父子照样翻脸That was some twisted Pinocchio-Geppetto stuff right there.
1053 01:01:19 好 鲁蛇们All right, losers!
1054 01:01:22 三个打一个It's three on one.
1055 01:01:23 好戏上场Let's hit it.
1056 01:01:54 吃豆人比我印象中还快Pac-Man's faster than I remember.
1057 01:01:57 {\an8}小红
1058 01:02:00 吃豆人一向跑得比幽灵快Pac-Man's always been faster than the ghosts.
1059 01:02:02 我们得设法追上他We're gonna have to outmaneuver his ass.
1060 01:02:14 神奇三小 你和亚军哥分头走Wonderfro, you and Silver Medal break off.
1061 01:02:18 我来对付缺角披萨I'll stay with Big Yellow.
1062 01:02:24 埃迪 你动作怎么这么快Whoa, Eddie, how did you do that so fast?
1063 01:02:26 因为我是冠军 长腿中校'Cause I'm the champ, Lieutenant Long Legs.
1064 01:02:34 好胆唛造Nope!
1065 01:02:36 有事吗What's up?
1066 01:02:41 赞啦Yeah!
1067 01:02:49 漂亮 埃迪Good one, Eddie.
1068 01:02:52 解决了一个One down.
1069 01:02:53 还有两个Two to go!
1070 01:03:00 刚在四条街外重生的 All right, Pac-Man Number Two
1071 01:03:01 吃豆人二号往北前进just regenerated four streets away headed northbound.
1072 01:03:04 下个路口往东转Turn east at the next intersection.
1073 01:03:06 {\an8}电玩特攻队前来救援
1074 01:03:08 布伦纳 直走Brenner, go straight.
1075 01:03:09 收到Got it.
1076 01:03:10 拉德洛 左转Ludlow, go left.
1077 01:03:13 埃迪 下个路口左转Eddie, at the next intersection, turn left.
1078 01:03:17 逮到他了We got him!
1079 01:03:18 他插翅也难飞了He's got nowhere to go!
1080 01:03:25 天啊 不Oh, God. No!
1081 01:03:28 怎么了"Oh, God. No," what?
1082 01:03:29 他吃了大力丸He ate the power pellet.
1083 01:03:30 吃豆人有十秒钟能吃掉我们Pac-Man's got 10 seconds where he can eat us.
1084 01:03:36 为什么是我Why me?
1085 01:03:43 {\an8}小粉
1086 01:03:45 天啊 别吃我...God. Don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat me.
1087 01:03:47 拜托...别吃我Please, please, don't eat me!
1088 01:03:55 大家救命啊Guys! Help!
1089 01:03:57 我还没破处就要死了I'm gonna die a virgin!
1090 01:04:13 你为什么要这样对我Why are you doing this to me?
1091 01:04:18 你被洗脑了You've been brainwashed!
1092 01:04:20 你是乖宝宝You're a good boy!
1093 01:04:23 拉德洛 拔腿快跑Ludlow, run! Pump your legs! Go, baby!
1094 01:04:30 干得好 埃迪Attaboy, Eddie!
1095 01:04:33 你被旋风之火轰掉了 猪头You just got fire-blasted, sucka.
1096 01:04:39 搞屁啊What?
1097 01:04:41 他怎么这么快就冲到那边How the hell did he get over there so fast?
1098 01:04:45 干得好 冠军Way to go, champ.
1099 01:04:47 你很高兴让我出狱吧 亚军哥Aren't you glad you sprung me, Second Place?
1100 01:04:49 对 爽毙了Yeah, thrilled.
1101 01:04:51 再干掉一个就能庆功了One more to go and it's happy hour.
1102 01:05:04 所以他们要把我丢在这里So I guess they're just leaving me here.
1103 01:05:12 该上演帽子戏法了Now it's time for the hat trick.
1104 01:05:27 哇Wow!
1105 01:05:28 布伦纳 现在全看你的了Brenner, it's on you.
1106 01:05:30 那里还有三个大力丸There are still three other power pellets out there.
1107 01:05:33 提高警觉So stay alert.
1108 01:05:34 我没问题的I got this.
1109 01:05:36 如果我失败If I don't,
1110 01:05:38 世界就完了the world ends.
1111 01:05:39 只许成功不许失败Can't let that happen.
1112 01:05:41 加油 布伦纳Come on, Brenner. Come on.
1113 01:05:49 布伦纳 他要直接把你 带往大力丸的方向Brenner, he's leading you directly towards one of the power pellets.
1114 01:05:52 赶快离开Get out of there.
1115 01:06:01 一One.
1116 01:06:03 他想干嘛What the hell is he doing?
1117 01:06:05 二Two.
1118 01:06:06 可恶 布伦纳 我还想看我儿子长大Damn it, Brenner. I have a son who I'd like to see grow up.
1119 01:06:10 三 你会如愿的Three. You'll see your boy grow up.
1120 01:06:15 四Four.
1121 01:06:16 布伦纳 快走 他要吃掉你了Brenner, get out! He's going to eat you!
1122 01:06:21 五Five.
1123 01:06:24 六Six.
1124 01:06:28 七Seven.
1125 01:06:31 八Eight.
1126 01:06:33 九Nine.
1127 01:06:40 十Ten.
1128 01:06:51 你成功了 布伦纳 太帅了You did it! Brenner! That's the one, baby!
1129 01:07:05 他在这里He's over here!
1130 01:07:31 旋风之火 我爱你Fire Blaster, I love you!
1131 01:07:34 兄弟Hey, guys!
1132 01:07:35 借过 我也是今晚的英雄Sorry. Coming through. I'm one of tonight's heroes. Sorry.
1133 01:07:38 嘿Hey!
1134 01:07:40 嘿Hey.
1135 01:07:41 你们看Check it out.
1136 01:07:44 我应该找到下一个战利品了I think I might have found our next trophy.
1137 01:07:51 Q伯特It's Q*bert.
1138 01:07:52 对 我知道Yeah, I know! I know.
1139 01:07:55 我可以杀它吗Can I kill it?
1140 01:07:57 不行No!
1141 01:07:58 我们了解他一下 问他问题Let's get to know him a little bit. Ask him some questions.
1142 01:08:01 然后再杀他And then we'll kill him.
1143 01:08:04 -开玩笑啦 帮他盖毯子 -掰-I'm joking. Just put the blanket on him. -Bye.
1144 01:08:07 -总统先生 -总统先生-Mr. President! -Mr. President!
1145 01:08:09 -是 哈尔 -总统先生-Yes, Hal. -Mr. President,
1146 01:08:10 这场危机出现后 您的支持率暴增三倍your approval ratings have tripled since this crisis began.
1147 01:08:14 您是否认为以目前的乐观情势 Do you feel the heretofore sanguine causata
1148 01:08:17 危机将朝圆满落幕的方向发展are tracking toward an auspicious denouement?
1149 01:08:20 少来了 哈尔Shut up, Hal.
1150 01:08:22 你讲得文诌诌是想害他出糗You're just using big words to try to make him look like an idiot.
1151 01:08:26 我们敬爱您 总统先生 感谢您拯救我们We love you, Mr. President. Thank you for saving us.
1152 01:08:30 拜托 别谢我Please, don't thank me.
1153 01:08:32 是山姆布伦纳和他的团队 It's Sam Brenner and his team
1154 01:08:34 带领我们迈向胜利who have brought us here to the brink of victory.
1155 01:08:36 据说您将为他们办一场晚会And we understand you're holding a soiree in their honor.
1156 01:08:38 另一次攻击可能迫在眉睫 这样妥当吗Is that a good idea when another attack may be imminent?
1157 01:08:42 不必担心No need to worry.
1158 01:08:43 他们将在礼服底下穿着制服They will have their Arcader uniforms on underneath their tuxes,
1159 01:08:46 随时准备出击ready to go at a moment's notice.
1160 01:08:48 通知你一声 哈尔And for the record, Hal,
1161 01:08:50 我正好知道那些字眼的意思I happen to know what several of those big words meant.
1162 01:08:54 我上次去墨西哥喝了圆满调酒I drank a few cold sanguines on my last trip to Mexico.
1163 01:08:58 回应一下 哈尔Bite on that, Hal!
1164 01:09:00 就是你...You! You! You! You! You!
1165 01:09:05 {\an8}电玩特攻队总统简报 华府
1166 01:09:10 我不知道哪个比较糟糕I don't know what would be worse.
1167 01:09:13 是他们失败Them failing,
1168 01:09:15 还是他们真的成功or them actually pulling this off.
1169 01:09:18 你说什么 吉姆What was that, Jim?
1170 01:09:19 你可以惦惦吗Can you shut up for five seconds?
1171 01:09:26 我们需要提高发射率We need to increase the rate of fire.
1172 01:09:28 你在脑中已经计算过了 对吧Now you already calculated that in your beautiful mind, didn't you?
1173 01:09:33 这游戏毫无逻辑可言There's no rhyme or reason to this game.
1174 01:09:35 有什么模式吗 他都突然发动攻击I mean, where are the patterns? He just attacks out of left field.
1175 01:09:39 模式 这是你那么会打 吃豆人和大蜈蚣的原因Patterns? Is that why you were so good with Pac-Man and Centipede?
1176 01:09:42 熟记模式You memorized the patterns?
1177 01:09:43 对 那是打赢的唯一方法Yeah. Only way to beat these things.
1178 01:09:45 计算子弹 计算速度 分析数据Count the bullets, calculate the speed, crunch the numbers.
1179 01:09:48 那有什么乐趣Where's the fun in that?
1180 01:09:50 不然你都怎么打Boy. Why? What do you do?
1181 01:09:52 假装自己是主角 不想死You gotta pretend you're the guy and you don't wanna die.
1182 01:09:55 听起来很酷 但不见得都管用Yeah, that sounds cool, but it's not gonna work every time.
1183 01:09:58 所以才有重置键Well, that's why you have your reset button.
1184 01:10:01 我们小时候没那东西Yeah, we didn't have those growin' up.
1185 01:10:05 这是我见过最暴力的电玩Most violent game I've ever seen.
1186 01:10:07 对你来说不健康I don't think it's healthy for you.
1187 01:10:08 没关系 我应付得来It's fine. I can handle it.
1188 01:10:10 我不是跟你说话 是跟这位朋友No, I'm not talkin' to you. I'm talkin' to homeboy.
1189 01:10:13 好多血So much blood!
1190 01:10:16 是啊 知道怎么改变心情吗Yeah. Hey. You know what'll cheer you up?
1191 01:10:19 -起司球 -对-A cheese ball. -Yep.
1192 01:10:22 来 吸一个Come on, suck one up.
1193 01:10:24 一次吸一把Take a handful.
1194 01:10:27 漂亮 干净俐落That was smooth. That was very smooth.
1195 01:10:31 我们该让他运动一下 You know, we should get him some exercise.
1196 01:10:33 把他丢到蹦床上Maybe throw him on the trampoline for a little bit?
1197 01:10:35 蹦床...蹦床...蹦床...Trampoline! Trampoline! Trampoline!
1198 01:10:37 好 我和他去运动 Okay. How about me and him do that
1199 01:10:39 你去邀我妈参加明晚的舞会while you go ask my mom to the ball tomorrow night?
1200 01:10:42 可惜我并不喜欢你妈Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to your mother.
1201 01:10:44 鬼扯Bullcrap.
1202 01:10:46 没错 我鬼扯You're right, I am. Okay.
1203 01:10:48 来 吸光光Here. Finish these.
1204 01:10:50 你会变得胖嘟嘟You're gettin' chubby.
1205 01:10:54 嗨Hi.
1206 01:10:56 嗨Hi.
1207 01:10:59 所以...So...
1208 01:11:01 怎样So...
1209 01:11:09 抱歉Sorry!
1210 01:11:10 再来 再来...Again! Again! Again! Again!
1211 01:11:13 我觉得有必要出席明晚的宴会So I'm feeling obligated to make an appearance at that thing tomorrow night.
1212 01:11:17 我在想 等你到了那里I was wondering, when you got there,
1213 01:11:19 你想不想跟我一起混if possibly you'd like to hang out with me while I was there?
1214 01:11:23 -像约会那样吗 -像约会 对-Like a date? -Like a date, but... Yeah.
1215 01:11:25 这我不晓得I dunno about that.
1216 01:11:27 我是势利鬼 心理有问题I'm a snob. I have mental problems, so...
1217 01:11:29 是没错啦Well, you know, you are and you do,
1218 01:11:32 但我愿意暂时抛开成见but I'm willin' to overlook that for the evening.
1219 01:11:35 好Okay.
1220 01:11:36 你愿意You will?
1221 01:11:51 三 四Three, four.
1222 01:11:55 -谢谢 -谢谢-Thank you. Thank you. -Thanks.
1223 01:11:58 难得没人跟我呛声Nice welcome, for a change, huh?
1224 01:12:05 别跳了 舞棍阿伯Bring it down, Travolta. Bring it down.
1225 01:12:11 他们喜欢大人物 受人尊敬的感觉不赖吧They love the Big Man! Good to see the respect, pal.
1226 01:12:17 你看看 小威廉斯 Well, lookie here, Serena.
1227 01:12:19 他们办这宴会 感谢我拯救世界They threw me a big party to thank me for savin' the world.
1228 01:12:22 而且你整晚都能站在我身边And you get to stand next to me all night.
1229 01:12:24 -喝香槟吗 先生 -谢谢-Champagne, sir? -Thanks.
1230 01:12:27 他们说我来就送我一座岛They promised me an island if I did this.
1231 01:12:29 我好想见山姆的新女友I'm dying to meet Sam's new ladyfriend.
1232 01:12:31 也不算 我们只是偶尔碰个面She's nothin'. It's just a little hangin' out thing.
1233 01:12:34 最好是Yeah, right.
1234 01:12:36 她漂亮吗 威尔Is she pretty, Will?
1235 01:12:38 怎样算漂亮 你才漂亮Define pretty. I mean, you're pretty.
1236 01:12:41 -美极了 -谢谢-Extremely pretty. -Thank you.
1237 01:12:43 从传统角度看 She, I think, in the classical sense of the word,
1238 01:12:45 我觉得她...is certainly... I mean, I feel...
1239 01:12:47 -布伦纳 帮帮我 -你讲得很好 继续-Brenner, help me out here. -No, you're doing great. Keep going.
1240 01:12:51 就军人来说 她算漂亮You know, she, for military personnel, certainly. I mean...
1241 01:12:55 你是第一夫人...You're the First Lady,
1242 01:12:56 她是军中志玲she's a 10.
1243 01:13:03 布伦纳Hey, Brenner.
1244 01:13:06 布伦纳Hey, Brenner.
1245 01:13:09 失陪一下Excuse me for a second.
1246 01:13:12 来吧 马帝 来跳舞Come on, Matty. Let's dance!
1247 01:13:19 你穿礼服很帅You look nice in a tux.
1248 01:13:22 绿色正式成为我最爱的颜色了Green's officially my favorite color now.
1249 01:13:25 我有个问题问你I have a question for you.
1250 01:13:27 总统说我今晚要待命 我只能喝半瓶啤酒President said I'm on call tonight, so I can only have half a beer.
1251 01:13:31 我知道你喜欢用鸭嘴杯喝酒I know you like drinkin' out of sippy cups,
1252 01:13:34 想跟我共喝一瓶吗but wanna split a bottle with me?
1253 01:13:38 怎么了What happened?
1254 01:13:40 -你刷过牙了 -对啊-You brushed your teeth. -Yes!
1255 01:13:42 好 请带路All right. Lead the way.
1256 01:13:43 没问题You got it.
1257 01:13:48 {\an8}欢迎来到真实人生
1258 01:13:52 {\an8}谁也无法回头
1259 01:13:56 {\an8}即使午夜梦回时
1260 01:14:00 {\an8}我们都会发现你
1261 01:14:03 {\an8}装模作样假惺惺
1262 01:14:07 来聊聊肉贵 她长什么样子So let's hear about Sinnamon. What does she look like?
1263 01:14:10 -天啊 开什么玩笑 -我想知道嘛-God. Are you kidding? -I wanna know.
1264 01:14:12 她是抢人老公的皮拉提斯老师 当然超辣She's a husband-stealing Pilates teacher. She's hot!
1265 01:14:15 身体弹性极佳And limber.
1266 01:14:17 那不重要That doesn't matter.
1267 01:14:18 其实很重要Yes! Actually, it does.
1268 01:14:20 但她不完美 对吧She's not perfect, though, right?
1269 01:14:22 当小三的女生Girls like that who steal husbands,
1270 01:14:24 一定有什么缺点they always got one thing wrong with them.
1271 01:14:27 说吧Come on.
1272 01:14:29 -额头太大 -不是-Her forehead's too big? -No.
1273 01:14:31 -下巴有贪吃痣 -不是-Mole on the chin? -No.
1274 01:14:33 -鼻孔像澎恰恰 -不是-Two different nostrils? -No!
1275 01:14:36 她完美无瑕She's flawless.
1276 01:14:37 真的She is.
1277 01:14:39 眼睛 好啦 她两眼有点太开I mean, her eyes. Okay, her eyes are a little far apart.
1278 01:14:44 有点像比目鱼Kind of looks like a flounder.
1279 01:14:46 你看吧 很好There it is! Good.
1280 01:14:48 今晚 你的笨前夫 So tonight, your dopey ex-husband's gonna
1281 01:14:50 会盯着肉贵的眼睛说be lookin' into those eyes and sayin',
1282 01:14:52 "我眼睛沾到蛤仔肉吗"What kind of choice did I make?
1283 01:14:54 我以前常盯着我见过最美的眼睛"I used to stare into the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen,
1284 01:14:56 现在却死盯着麦香鱼""and now I'm stuck starin' at the Filet o' Fish sandwich."
1285 01:15:00 你是说我眼睛很美吗Did you just say I have beautiful eyes?
1286 01:15:02 顺便羞辱另一个女人While insulting the other chick.
1287 01:15:05 你真的超会灌迷汤That is really, really, really, really good.
1288 01:15:08 谢谢Thank you.
1289 01:15:11 能分我一点吗 我们不是要一起喝Can I have some of that? No? I thought we were splitting it.
1290 01:15:17 {\an8}真高兴我们几乎成功
1291 01:15:21 {\an8}很遗憾它们终将消逝
1292 01:15:25 {\an8}人人都有江山梦
1293 01:15:33 {\an8}他们想统治
1294 01:15:35 {\an8}他们为何如此恶毒
1295 01:15:39 大家开口闭口都是You know, everybody's like,
1296 01:15:41 布伦纳这样 布伦纳那样"Brenner this" and "Brenner that."
1297 01:15:44 别搞错 旋风之火才是队长But make no mistake, Fire Blaster's the leader of this crew.
1298 01:15:48 旋风之火到底是谁Who's the Fire Blaster again?
1299 01:15:50 我啊 小威廉斯 好吧 废话不多说Me, Serena! All right, lemme just cut to the chase here.
1300 01:15:53 旋风之火坐过八年牢Fire Blaster's been in prison for eight years.
1301 01:15:55 2005年起就没上过女人He hasn't been with a woman since '05.
1302 01:15:58 你即将体验到...You're in for
1303 01:16:00 今生最爽的高潮the time of your life.
1304 01:16:02 你敢动我一根汗毛 我就抓你去抡墙You even think about touching me, I'm gonna smack you through the wall.
1305 01:16:05 那我求之不得I'd have it no other way.
1306 01:16:09 应该挑玛莎史都华才对Should've gone with Martha Stewart.
1307 01:16:12 至少有好吃的三明治可以吃At least then, I'd have a tasty panini cooked for me or some shit.
1308 01:16:19 等这一切结束 你有何打算So, what are you gonna do after all this?
1309 01:16:21 回拳国电子吗You gonna go back to the Nerd Brigade?
1310 01:16:25 对...Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1311 01:16:26 应该吧 我是说...Probably. I mean...
1312 01:16:29 不然能做什么What else would I do?
1313 01:16:31 像你有这些能力I mean, it just seems like someone with your skills,
1314 01:16:33 应该发明科技 而不是安装科技you'd be better off inventing technology rather than installing it.
1315 01:16:36 当然 我愿意有不同发展No, of course. I would love to do somethin' different.
1316 01:16:40 小时候在电动游乐场You know, I had my shot
1317 01:16:42 我曾经有大好机会when I was a kid in the arcades.
1318 01:16:45 可是But
1319 01:16:47 我搞砸了I blew it.
1320 01:16:49 我总以为当时若赢了 人生会有所不同Yeah, I always think maybe my life would've been different.
1321 01:16:52 每当情况有起色Any time I'm getting on a roll,
1322 01:16:55 或我觉得一切顺遂or I feel like everything's going great,
1323 01:16:59 就会出现阻碍that giant ape throws another barrel at me.
1324 01:17:05 可是没关系啦But it's all good.
1325 01:17:08 别担心Don't worry.
1326 01:17:13 各位先生女士 我很荣幸Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce a special message
1327 01:17:17 向电玩特攻队介绍纽约市427小学to the Arcaders from the students of PS 427
1328 01:17:21 所传来的特别讯息in New York City.
1329 01:17:26 纽约陷入危机New York was in trouble.
1330 01:17:28 吃豆人引发动乱Pac-Man caused a ruckus.
1331 01:17:31 但电玩特攻队拯救我们But the Arcaders saved us.
1332 01:17:33 因为他们英勇无惧...'Cause they're bad mother...
1333 01:17:39 地球人People of Earth,
1334 01:17:41 你们已违反交战守则you have violated the rules of warfare, dudes.
1335 01:17:43 违反守则Violated the rules?
1336 01:17:45 所以你们失格 地球是我们的Because of this, you forfeit and your planet is now ours.
1337 01:17:49 各位 12小时后Dudes, in 12 hours,
1338 01:17:51 我们将全力摧毁地球we'll commence with the all-out destruction of Earth.
1339 01:17:55 然后 我们会唱这首 关于贵星球的歌After that, we will sing this about your precious planet.
1340 01:17:59 她走了She's gone
1341 01:18:02 我最好学会面对...I'd better learn how to face...
1342 01:18:07 他们在说什么东西What the heck are they talkin' about?
1343 01:18:18 你去哪 旋风之火Where you goin', Fire Blaster?
1344 01:18:20 小子Hey, kid.
1345 01:18:22 我跟小威廉斯说出来透透气I told Serena I needed to get some air, you know?
1346 01:18:25 我才认识她半小时Only known her half an hour and she's already like,
1347 01:18:27 她就自称旋风之火夫人"Mrs. Fire Blaster this. Mrs. Fire Blaster that."
1348 01:18:30 你掉进东河那晚 一个警察捞出这付墨镜A cop fished these out of the East River the night you fell in.
1349 01:18:33 我本来要还你I was gonna give 'em back to you,
1350 01:18:35 但我看到镜片内写了些有趣的东西but I saw some interesting things written on the inside of the lenses.
1351 01:18:40 吃豆人的超高速秘笈The Pac-Man cheat code for super-speed.
1352 01:18:43 -你作弊 -那又怎样-You're a cheater. -So what?
1353 01:18:45 当时我用秘笈赢得比赛I used cheat codes back in the day to help me dominate.
1354 01:18:48 现在我又用它来打击外星人 结果成功了So I figured, why not use it for the big show. And it worked.
1355 01:18:51 你一生都在作弊You've been a cheater your whole life?
1356 01:18:54 不No.
1357 01:18:55 十岁以后才开始Only since I was 10.
1358 01:18:58 我用这招在世界锦标赛击败布伦纳That's how I beat your boy Brenner at the World Championship. Yeah.
1359 01:19:04 我的丰功伟业都要感谢这付墨镜I owe everything I have to these bitchin' shades.
1360 01:19:12 你做了什么What did you do?
1361 01:19:13 没有 我们遵守所有规则I didn't do anything. I thought we obeyed every rule.
1362 01:19:17 你错了 死老百姓Ya thought wrong, civilian!
1363 01:19:18 我们把唯一机会浪费在你身上We squandered our one chance on you!
1364 01:19:21 一个音响修理工A hi-fi repair man.
1365 01:19:22 我发誓...But I swear...
1366 01:19:24 别说了 你听到霍尔与欧兹的话 你搞砸了But nothin'! You heard Hall & Oates! You blew it!
1367 01:19:27 我看过你的档案I've seen your files.
1368 01:19:28 你这辈子一事无成You've never accomplished a damn thing in your entire life.
1369 01:19:31 布伦纳打赢两战 上将 比你多两战Brenner won two battles, Admiral. That's two more than you.
1370 01:19:34 注意你的礼节 中校I wouldn't get smart with me, Colonel.
1371 01:19:36 你太过投入这出浪费时间的闹剧You were all over this sideshow that did nothing but waste valuable time.
1372 01:19:39 有时我怀疑你替火星人效命Sometimes I wonder if you're not working for the Martians yourself!
1373 01:19:42 去死吧 上将Drop dead, Admiral.
1374 01:19:43 你不准再参与这项任务You're done.
1375 01:19:44 够了 听好 All right. Hey, guys! That's enough. Listen.
1376 01:19:46 我们努力过却没有用We tried something. It didn't work.
1377 01:19:50 怎么回事What is that?
1378 01:19:52 马帝Matty!
1379 01:20:04 马帝Matty!
1380 01:20:13 没想到他们抓马帝当战利品 真遗憾I can't believe they took Matty as a trophy. I am so sorry.
1381 01:20:16 我们一定有办法解决Well, there's gotta be somethin' we can do.
1382 01:20:18 埃迪呢Where's Eddie?
1383 01:20:19 埃迪 他跑去躲起来 我们再也见不到他了Eddie. Yeah. He crawled into a hole. We'll never see him again.
1384 01:20:24 楚巴卡不肯接我电话Chewie won't take my calls.
1385 01:20:25 薇乐丽被开除 我们只能靠自己了Violet got the boot. We're on our own, guys.
1386 01:20:28 这感觉好像我的星球This feels like my planet.
1387 01:20:30 没有乐趣 没有欢笑 只有战争No fun. No laughter. Only war.
1388 01:20:34 等等Wait.
1389 01:20:35 等一下 Q伯特来自那里 他知道他们所有秘密Wait a second. Q*bert is from there. He knows all their secrets.
1390 01:20:38 我们曾经是个快乐的星球We were once a happy planet.
1391 01:20:40 在你们威胁我们之前Before you threatened us.
1392 01:20:42 但我们没威胁你们 你看过旧游戏的影片But we didn't threaten you! You saw footage of old games.
1393 01:20:46 他们不知道那是游戏They do not know they are games.
1394 01:20:47 你何不告诉他们 阻止他们Well, why don't you tell them that, Q*bert, and stop them?
1395 01:20:50 来不及了It's too late.
1396 01:20:51 现在母舰在创造数百万电玩战士And now the mothership is creating millions of video-game warriors
1397 01:20:55 准备摧毁地球to destroy your planet.
1398 01:20:57 听好 我们只要进入母舰阻止他们Look, all we have to do is get inside the mothership and try to stop them.
1399 01:21:01 到时候就能救出马帝We can rescue Matty while we're up there.
1400 01:21:02 你想上去Up there. You wanna go up there?
1401 01:21:04 这样似乎不太好 他们抢走了我们的轻航空炮I don't know about that. You know, they took away our light cannons.
1402 01:21:08 这主意不妥I don't think that's such a good idea.
1403 01:21:10 我们有比轻航空炮更好的武器We have something better than light cannons.
1404 01:21:12 我们有不屈服的乐观态度We have a positive can-do attitude.
1405 01:21:16 我开玩笑的I'm kidding.
1406 01:21:17 我们都会死光光We are all gonna die.
1407 01:21:20 我只是...I'm just...
1408 01:21:21 拍谢Sorry.
1409 01:22:02 你们确定要这么做Are you sure we wanna do this?
1410 01:22:03 或许我们能去另一个星球住I mean, maybe we could just find another planet to live on.
1411 01:22:06 少啰唆 我们上母舰去Shut up, dude. We're gettin' on that ship.
1412 01:22:08 唯一办法就是跑到它正下方And the only way to do that is to get directly under it.
1413 01:22:11 那是唯一进入的方法That's the only way in.
1414 01:22:28 电玩特攻队来了 别担心Arcaders are comin'! Don't worry!
1415 01:22:35 快点...Come on! Come on! Come on! Go!
1416 01:22:36 跟着我Stay with me!
1417 01:22:56 没人比我更会抓娃娃Nobody's better at the crane game than me.
1418 01:22:58 楚巴卡Chewie?
1419 01:23:00 你干嘛变装 兄弟What's with the disguise, buddy?
1420 01:23:02 他们想带我去地下碉堡 我就豁出去了They tried to take me to some underground bunker, so I went rogue.
1421 01:23:10 水啦Yeah!
1422 01:23:12 神奇小子 你得留在地面上 这些人需要保护Wonder Kid, you gotta stay on the ground. These people need protection.
1423 01:23:16 谢天谢地Thank God.
1424 01:23:17 撑下去 多笑 多爱Hey, live long, laugh much, love often.
1425 01:23:21 够了That's it.
1426 01:23:23 不No.
1427 01:23:24 走开Back it up.
1428 01:23:26 谢谢你当我朋友Thanks for bein' my friend.
1429 01:23:28 因为我爱你'Course, buddy. I love ya.
1430 01:23:30 去英勇杀敌吧Now go kick some ass.
1431 01:23:34 总统先生 能给我一把轻航空炮吗Mr. President, may I have a light cannon?
1432 01:23:42 {\an8}啦...唱首快乐的歌
1433 01:23:46 {\an8}啦...
1434 01:23:53 别跟人家说我杀了蓝色吃豆人Don't tell anyone I killed a Smurf.
1435 01:24:12 嘿Hey!
1436 01:24:14 放过那些孩子Get away from those kids now!
1437 01:24:18 拜托Please?
1438 01:24:28 嘿Hey!
1439 01:24:52 我整个青春期I spent most of my formative years
1440 01:24:56 一直想让你活起来trying to figure out a way to bring you to life
1441 01:24:58 就像电视上的科学节目那样all Weird Science-style.
1442 01:25:01 每次生日许愿时I used every birthday wish,
1443 01:25:03 每当时钟来到11点11分every 11:11 on the clock,
1444 01:25:06 这始终是我的愿望every little chicken wishbone I could find, and ladybug.
1445 01:25:10 我为此祷告I prayed for this.
1446 01:25:16 但显然你没有同感But apparently, you don't feel the same.
1447 01:25:27 到母舰底下了 Q伯特 现在呢Okay. We're under it, Q*bert. Now what?
1448 01:25:34 唉呀呀Well, well, well.
1449 01:25:36 看看是谁来了Look who's here.
1450 01:25:38 叛徒Q伯特Q*bert the traitor
1451 01:25:40 和他的作弊朋友and his cheating friends.
1452 01:25:42 来恳求第二次机会吗Come to beg for a second chance?
1453 01:25:44 算你们好运 老大想亲自见你们You're in luck. The boss wants to meet ya in person.
1454 01:25:48 上来吧So come on up!
1455 01:25:50 你们若击败他 就能拯救地球 歼灭我们的战士If you defeat him, you save your planet and destroy our warriors.
1456 01:25:55 要是输了...But if you lose...
1457 01:26:08 我们舰上见See you on the other side.
1458 01:26:23 你跟我想像的一样厉害You are so powerful, just as I...
1459 01:26:31 你赢了 我不想再跟你打了好吗You win! I'm not gonna fight you anymore, okay?
1460 01:26:35 我知道你心中有爱I know that you have love in your heart,
1461 01:26:37 也知道我能让你开心 但如果你需要杀了我and I know that I could make you happy, but if you need to kill me,
1462 01:26:41 那就尽管动手吧then you're just gonna have to go ahead and kill me.
1463 01:26:46 至少我死前知道我找到真爱At least I can die a happy man knowing that I found true love.
1464 01:27:24 我跟小威廉斯连手都没握到And I couldn't even get a handshake from Serena Williams.
1465 01:27:27 唉呀呀Well, well, well.
1466 01:27:29 没想到会再见到你Didn't think I'd see you again.
1467 01:27:31 我得向自己和世界证明 I had to prove to myself and to the world
1468 01:27:33 我没作弊也办得到that I could do this without cheating.
1469 01:27:35 等等 你作弊Wait, you cheated?
1470 01:27:36 下一题Moving on.
1471 01:27:44 要介绍我给你女友认识吗You gonna introduce me to your girlfriend?
1472 01:27:47 是未婚妻Fiancee.
1473 01:28:03 我们在哪 Q伯特 这什么地方Where are we, Q*bert? What is this place?
1474 01:28:05 不知道I don't know.
1475 01:28:07 但我好怕But I'm scared.
1476 01:28:09 太好了Great.
1477 01:28:19 那什么声音What is that noise?
1478 01:28:30 那是什么东西What the hell was that?
1479 01:28:37 大金刚Donkey Kong.
1480 01:28:39 你最不会打的电玩The one game you suck at.
1481 01:28:41 对Yeah.
1482 01:28:43 妈 在这里Mom, up here!
1483 01:28:46 马帝Matty!
1484 01:28:47 妈Mom!
1485 01:28:49 我妈妈呢Where the hell is my mama?
1486 01:28:50 我们来救你了 亲爱的We're coming for you, honey!
1487 01:28:58 不No.
1488 01:29:18 他们数量太多了There's too many of them!
1489 01:29:19 这边This way!
1490 01:29:23 只有一个办法能获胜 跳Only one way to beat this game. Jump!
1491 01:29:27 爬梯子 快Up the ladder! Fast!
1492 01:29:32 桶子来了Incoming!
1493 01:29:53 Q伯特 小心Q*bert! Look out!
1494 01:29:57 Q伯特Q*bert!
1495 01:30:13 我没办法 没有固定模式可循I can't do this. There's no pattern.
1496 01:30:15 假装你是主角 你不想死Pretend you're the guy and you don't wanna die.
1497 01:30:20 我不想死I don't wanna die!
1498 01:30:22 我连埃迪都赢不了I couldn't even beat Eddie Plant!
1499 01:30:24 埃迪作弊 所以他在纽约才那么厉害Eddie Plant's a cheater! That's why he was so good in New York.
1500 01:30:28 他偷看秘笈He used cheat codes.
1501 01:30:31 小时候他也那样对付你He did the same thing to you when you were kids.
1502 01:30:34 你知道那代表什么吧You know what that means, right?
1503 01:30:40 我才是大金刚世界冠军I'm the Donkey Kong champion of the world.
1504 01:30:43 大金刚世界冠军不需要模式And the Donkey Kong champion of the world doesn't need patterns.
1505 01:30:46 重置键Reset button.
1506 01:31:00 不要动 楚巴卡Freeze, Chewie!
1507 01:31:09 布伦纳Brenner!
1508 01:31:16 妈 Q伯特没死Mom, Mom! Q*bert's not dead!
1509 01:31:20 救我...Help me! Help me!
1510 01:31:22 不 我确定他死了 马帝Nah, I'm pretty sure he's dead, Matty.
1511 01:31:24 妈Mom!
1512 01:31:26 求求你们Please.
1513 01:31:28 好吧Okay, fine.
1514 01:31:29 什么 不What? No!
1515 01:31:31 不No!
1516 01:31:38 薇乐丽 快离开Violet, get outta there!
1517 01:31:46 小心Look out!
1518 01:31:58 我们被困住了We're trapped!
1519 01:32:04 布伦纳Brenner!
1520 01:32:16 抓住我的大榔头Here, grab onto my mighty hammer.
1521 01:32:21 你就爱藉机说这句话You loved saying that.
1522 01:32:23 没错Yes, I did.
1523 01:32:27 布伦纳 不管你在干嘛 拜托快点Brenner! Whatever you're doing, please hurry up!
1524 01:32:39 我从1982年就想这么做了I've been waitin' to do this since 1982.
1525 01:32:54 耶Yeah!
1526 01:32:56 太赞了Yeah! Yes!
1527 01:32:57 帅呆了Yeah. Yeah.
1528 01:33:12 马帝 天啊Matty! God!
1529 01:33:15 -你还好吗 -嗯-You okay? -Yeah.
1530 01:33:18 你刚刚好棒You were so awesome down there!
1531 01:33:20 你是我第二喜欢的总统 欧巴马还是我的最爱You're my second favorite president. You know Obama's still my man, right?
1532 01:33:23 好吧Okay.
1533 01:33:34 我们赢了We won!
1534 01:33:36 不必再缴税了No more taxes!
1535 01:33:39 我们成功了 宝贝We did it, baby!
1536 01:33:41 我们成功了We did it.
1537 01:33:43 不No.
1538 01:33:44 不No. No!
1539 01:33:46 丽莎女神Lady Lisa!
1540 01:33:49 不No!
1541 01:34:08 埃迪 没想到会再见到你Eddie, never thought I'd see you again.
1542 01:34:10 布伦纳 Brenner,
1543 01:34:12 很抱歉小时候我作弊I just wanted to say I'm sorry for cheatin' back in the day when we was kids,
1544 01:34:14 最近又作弊and for cheatin' again more recently.
1545 01:34:17 我不会因此回牢里吧I'm not goin' back to prison for that, am I?
1546 01:34:19 不 但你得向布伦纳承认 他才是世界第一No, but you need to admit to Brenner that he's the best in the world.
1547 01:34:23 不可能No way.
1548 01:34:24 那就坐牢吧Prison.
1549 01:34:29 布伦纳Brenner,
1550 01:34:33 你是...you are the best
1551 01:34:36 全世界的...in the world
1552 01:34:38 大金刚冠军at the Donkey Kong.
1553 01:34:41 没错 我是That's right. I am.
1554 01:34:43 拉德洛 怎么了Ludlow. What's the matter, buddy?
1555 01:34:45 我终于得到我想要的东西I finally had the one thing I wanted
1556 01:34:48 如今却又变回孤单一人and now I'm back to being all alone.
1557 01:34:50 丽莎女神现身了Lady Lisa, she made an appearance.
1558 01:34:53 你们去拯救世界时 And while you guys were out, you know,
1559 01:34:56 也摧毁了他的世界savin' the world, you kind of destroyed his.
1560 01:34:59 太糟糕了That's horrible.
1561 01:35:00 他怎么能留下 你怎么还在It's just, how come he gets to stay? Why are you still here?
1562 01:35:04 对不起I'm sorry.
1563 01:35:06 Q伯特是战利品Q*bert's a trophy.
1564 01:35:07 所以我们可以留下战利品And I guess we get to keep the trophies.
1565 01:35:10 对Yeah.
1566 01:35:22 Q伯特 怎么了Q*bert, what is it?
1567 01:35:40 没人觉得怪吗 刚刚还是Q伯特Wait, no one else is weirded out by this? That was just Q*bert.
1568 01:35:43 -总统先生 拜托 -是 瑞妮-Mr. President! Please! -Yes, Renee.
1569 01:35:45 总统先生 危机解除了吗Mr. President, are we out of danger?
1570 01:35:47 是 事实上我很高兴宣布Yes. In fact, I am pleased to announce
1571 01:35:50 我与外星入侵者签订了和平协议I have brokered a peace treaty with the alien invaders.
1572 01:35:56 这次的和平要完全归功于This peace is due to, and only due to
1573 01:35:59 英勇的电玩特攻队the bravery of the Arcaders,
1574 01:36:01 他们排除万难 挺身拯救所有人who, against all odds, stepped up and saved us all.
1575 01:36:06 埃迪Eddie Plant,
1576 01:36:08 拉德洛Ludlow Lamonsoff,
1577 01:36:10 山姆布伦纳Sam Brenner,
1578 01:36:11 以及薇乐丽范派登中校and Lieutenant Colonel Violet Van Patten
1579 01:36:14 都是美国英雄are American heroes.
1580 01:36:16 世界英雄World heroes.
1581 01:36:21 世界英雄 看来你不再是老宅男了"World hero"? I guess you're not a nerd anymore.
1582 01:36:24 你可别要我脱离宅男身分You don't want me to stop being a nerd, ever.
1583 01:36:26 怎么说Why is that?
1584 01:36:27 就像我说的 宅男是接吻高手'Cause like I said, nerds are the greatest kissers.
1585 01:36:31 这由我来评断I'll be the judge of that.
1586 01:36:47 {\an8}英雄 到林肯卧室见我
1587 01:37:32 像素大战
1588 01:37:38 {\an8}游戏结束
1589 01:37:43 {\an8}一年后
1590 01:37:48 孩子 爸爸回来罗Hey, kids. Daddy's home.
1591 01:37:51 -爸爸 -爸爸-Daddy! -Daddy! Daddy!
1592 01:37:54 -爸爸 -爸爸-Dad! Dad! -Daddy! Daddy!
1593 01:37:56 爸爸Daddy! Daddy!
1594 01:38:20 {\an8}大烂人
1595 01:38:32 {\an8}1982年世界电玩锦标赛
1596 01:39:30 {\an8}税
1597 01:40:23 {\an8}油
1598 01:40:54 {\an8}嗨 英雄