乐高蝙蝠侠大电影(The LEGO Batman Movie)(EN)Subtitles

SRT Subtitles download

Color: Size:1416 18202224 26283040 LightfaceBold StandardItalic

ASS Custom style subtitle

Subtitle Preview：
1 00:00:08 Black.
2 00:00:11 All important movies start with a black screen.
3 00:00:16 And music.
4 00:00:18 Edgy, scary music
5 00:00:21 that would make a parent or studio executive nervous.
6 00:00:26 And logos.
7 00:00:28 Really long and dramatic logos.
8 00:00:32 Warner bros.
9 00:00:34 Why not "Warner brothers"? I don't know.
10 00:00:40 DC.
11 00:00:43 The house that Batman built.
12 00:00:46 Yeah, what, superman?
13 00:00:48 Come at me, bro.
14 00:00:51 I'm your kryptonite.
15 00:00:59 Hmm.
16 00:01:01 Not sure what ratpac does, but that logo is macho.
17 00:01:05 I dig it.
18 00:01:07 Okay.
19 00:01:09 Get yourself ready for some...
20 00:01:12 Reading.
21 00:01:14 "If you want to make the world a better place...
22 00:01:16 "...take a look at yourself and make a change.
23 00:01:20 "Hooo."
24 00:01:22 No. I said that.
25 00:01:24 Batman is very wise.
26 00:01:26 I also have huge pecs and a nine-pack.
27 00:01:31 Yeah, I've got an extra ab.
28 00:01:33 Now, let's start the movie.
29 00:01:44 Gotham tower,
30 00:01:46 this is mcguffin airlines, flight 1138.
31 00:01:49 We are transporting 11 million sticks of dynamite,
32 00:01:51 17,000 pounds of c-4,
33 00:01:53 about 150 cute little classic bomb-type bombs,
34 00:01:56 and two best friends!
35 00:01:58 And request permission to fly over
36 00:02:00 the most crime-ridden city in the world.
37 00:02:02 Over.
38 00:02:03 I'm just looking atall the guys' faces
39 00:02:04 here in the control tower.
40 00:02:05 I'm good.Sounds good to me.
41 00:02:06 Do it!Yeah, as long as
42 00:02:08 they're best friends.Thumbs up!
43 00:02:09 Yep, I thinkwe're cool with that.
44 00:02:31 Gentlemen,
45 00:02:32 seal breach in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
46 00:02:38 What was that?
47 00:02:39 One of usshould check it out.
48 00:02:41 Okay.Scissors, paper, rock...
49 00:02:43 Paper.Scissors.
50 00:02:44 Ha! Youalways do paper.
51 00:02:45 I'm a loser at homeand a loser at work.
52 00:02:50 Holy cow!
53 00:02:56 Captain Dale,is everything okay?
54 00:02:58 I am afraidcaptain Dale had to bail.
55 00:03:02 I'm your new co-pilot.
56 00:03:04 And I always come to work
57 00:03:06 with a smile!
58 00:03:13 You shouldbe terrified.
59 00:03:15 Because I will betaking over the city.
60 00:03:18 Mmm...
61 00:03:19 What?Batman will stop you.
62 00:03:21 He always stops you.
63 00:03:22 No, he doesn't.
64 00:03:24 What about that timewith the two boats?
65 00:03:25 This is betterthan the two boats.
66 00:03:27 Mmm...
67 00:03:29 Well, tonightis gonna be different!
68 00:03:32 Tonight is my greatest plan yet.
69 00:03:35 And trust me, Batman's never gonna see it coming.
70 00:03:37 Like that time with the parade
71 00:03:38 and the prince music?
72 00:03:40 Hey, quiet!
73 00:03:41 Good night, Steve.Take it easy, Jeff.
74 00:03:44 Man, I really like that guy.
75 00:03:46 I sure hopenothing bad happens to him.
76 00:03:53 What the...
77 00:03:55 Your city is under attack
78 00:03:56 by Gotham's greatest criminal minds.
79 00:03:59 Including
80 00:04:00 the riddler...
81 00:04:03 ...scarecrow...
82 00:04:04 Pizza delivery.
83 00:04:07 Bane.Hello.
84 00:04:09 Two-face!
85 00:04:10 We need thatdoor open, baby!
86 00:04:12 Catwoman.
87 00:04:14 Meow, meow.You're in! Meow, meow.
88 00:04:15 I'm jumpingout of the way!
89 00:04:18 And let's not forget, clayface.
90 00:04:23 Poison Ivy.
91 00:04:25 - Freeze!- No!
92 00:04:27 You freeze!
93 00:04:28 Mr. freeze!
94 00:04:30 Penguin, crazy quilt, eraser.
95 00:04:32 Polka-dot man, mime, tarantula.
96 00:04:35 King tut, orca, killer moth,
97 00:04:37 march Harriet, zodiac master, gentleman ghost.
98 00:04:39 Clock king, calendar man, kite-man,
99 00:04:41 catman, zebra-man, and the condiment king.
100 00:04:45 Okay, are you makingsome of those up?
101 00:04:47 Nope, they're all real.
102 00:04:49 Probably worth a Google.
103 00:04:52 Hey, watch it!Commissioner Gordon!
104 00:04:54 What is it, O'Hara?
105 00:04:55 We just got a report!
106 00:04:57 All the z-grade villains havebroken into the energy plant!
107 00:04:59 What are we gonna do, sir?
108 00:05:00 The only thing we ever do.
109 00:05:02 Flip the switchto the bat-signal!
110 00:05:03 Flip!
111 00:05:05 Commissioner, are you there?
112 00:05:07 The bat-signal,she's been egged!
113 00:05:08 It's egghead, sir.
114 00:05:09 I'm well aware of his work.
115 00:05:11 Dear gosh.
116 00:05:12 You've destroyedthe bat-signal.
117 00:05:13 You havethought of everything.
118 00:05:15 Yeah, I know!
119 00:05:17 And when I take over Gotham city...
120 00:05:19 Opening reactor core doors.
121 00:05:21 ...Batman will grovel at the feet
122 00:05:23 of his greatest enemy!
123 00:05:26 Me! The joker!
124 00:05:30 Joker, do you read me?
125 00:05:32 10-4, girl buddy.
126 00:05:33 We're ready for you, sugar plum.
127 00:05:34 Well, then,let's raise the roof!
128 00:05:38 Fire in the hole!
129 00:05:47 O'Hara, have you triedthe bat-phone?
130 00:05:49 Yes, but all I'm gettingis this hold music.
131 00:05:53 I love it.
132 00:05:58 I want sniperstrained on that building!
133 00:06:00 I want waterand air support, yesterday!
134 00:06:02 And I need SWAT here now!
135 00:06:03 Phone call forcommissioner Gordon.
136 00:06:04 Hello? Batman?
137 00:06:06 Hi, Jimmy! It's the jokes.Oop!
138 00:06:08 Nobody calls you that.
139 00:06:10 Yes, people do call me that.
140 00:06:12 Okay, listen up.
141 00:06:13 Go, go, go!
142 00:06:14 At this very moment,
143 00:06:16 an unnecessarily complicated bomb
144 00:06:18 is being attached
145 00:06:20 to the inside of the main energy core.
146 00:06:22 If the mayor isn't herein five minutes
147 00:06:25 to negotiatethe city's surrender,
148 00:06:26 then I shall destroy Gotham city.
149 00:06:30 I did something!
150 00:06:32 Doctor, that sounds frightening
151 00:06:33 and overly complicated.
152 00:06:34 Talk us through it.
153 00:06:36 Well, I don't wanna scare
154 00:06:37 any small children who may be listening,
155 00:06:39 but it's a little-known fact that Gotham city
156 00:06:41 is built on a bunch of flimsy plates stuck together.
157 00:06:45 There's literally nothing beneath us,
158 00:06:47 except an infinite abyss that smells like dirty underwear.
159 00:06:51 If joker's bomb were to go off,
160 00:06:53 these plates would break apart,
161 00:06:55 plunging every Gotham citizen
162 00:06:57 into the eternal abyss forever.
163 00:06:59 And you wouldn't want that, now would you?
164 00:07:01 Now get me the mayor!Joker out!
165 00:07:04 Madam mayor,i cannot ask you to do this!
166 00:07:07 Jim, did you find Batman?
167 00:07:09 No, ma'am.
168 00:07:10 Then we have no choice.
169 00:07:11 The joker has the upper hand.
170 00:07:13 We have to surrenderGotham city.
171 00:07:16 Oh, no.
172 00:07:17 I'm sorry!
173 00:07:20 Flying the mayor package in right now.
174 00:07:22 SWAT team, get your stun guns ready!
175 00:07:24 Non-lethal.- Yeah!
176 00:07:26 Lowering mayor package through hole.
177 00:07:29 Madam mayor!
178 00:07:31 Thanks for dropping by.
179 00:07:33 I've only got one thingto say to you, joker.
180 00:07:36 Well, youbetter make it fast.
181 00:07:38 Do you like to gamble?
182 00:07:39 Oh, I certainly do.
183 00:07:40 Do you ever play roulette?
184 00:07:42 On occasion.
185 00:07:44 Well, let me give youa word of advice.
186 00:07:45 I'm all ears.
187 00:07:46 When playing roulette...
188 00:07:48 Yes?
189 00:07:50 ...always bet on black.
190 00:07:52 Batman?
191 00:07:53 What are you doing? You'recompletely outnumbered here!
192 00:07:55 Are you nuts?
193 00:07:57 You wanna get nuts?Come on!
194 00:07:58 Let's get nuts!
195 00:08:01 'Cause I just wrote a song
196 00:08:02 about how I'm gonnakick all your butts!
197 00:08:04 Stop him beforehe starts singing!
198 00:08:18 Computer, overcompensate.
199 00:08:21 I'm on my way, sir.
200 00:08:42 Thank you.
201 00:08:53 Get it together, guys!
202 00:08:54 You're making me look badin front of Batman!
203 00:08:56 'Puter, where's the bomb?
204 00:08:58 The bomb is located at the base of the energy core.
205 00:09:01 What the...
206 00:09:14 Kiss me, Batman.
207 00:09:22 'Puter.
208 00:09:33 How is he beatingall of you again?
209 00:09:36 Because...
210 00:09:40 It's gonna blow!
211 00:09:48 Hi, Batman!
212 00:09:49 So weirdto keep running into you.
213 00:09:58 Looks likeyour plan failed.
214 00:10:00 Well, it's onlya matter of time
215 00:10:02 before I take overGotham city.
216 00:10:09 When has that ever happened?Computer!
217 00:10:12 Calculating.
218 00:10:13 Never.
219 00:10:15 You know why?
220 00:10:16 Because I'm alwaysone step ahead of you.
221 00:10:18 And I always get away!
222 00:10:22 Not this time.
223 00:10:26 'Cause this time
224 00:10:28 I got you.
225 00:10:29 Oh, yeah?
226 00:10:31 Well, there'sonly one problem.
227 00:10:33 Who's gonnadefuse the bomb?
228 00:10:35 It's gotta beone or the other, Batman.
229 00:10:37 Save the city,or catch your greatest enemy.
230 00:10:41 You can't do both.
231 00:10:43 I'm sorry,what did you just say?
232 00:10:44 You can't do both, I said.
233 00:10:45 No, I mean the other thing.
234 00:10:46 Save the city,or catch your greatest enemy.
235 00:10:48 You thinkyou're my greatest enemy?
236 00:10:50 Yes! You're obsessed with me!
237 00:10:52 No, I'm not.
238 00:10:53 Yes, you are.No, I'm not.
239 00:10:55 Yes, you are!
240 00:10:56 Who else drives youto one-up them
241 00:10:58 Bane.No, he doesn't!
242 00:10:59 Superman.
243 00:11:00 Superman's not a bad guy!
244 00:11:02 Then I'd say that I don'tcurrently have a bad guy.
245 00:11:05 I am fightinga few different people.
246 00:11:07 What?
247 00:11:08 I like to fight around.
248 00:11:10 Okay, look, I'm fine with youfighting other people
249 00:11:12 if you wanna do that,but what we have is special.
250 00:11:17 So, when people ask you
251 00:11:18 "who's your number onebad guy?" You say...
252 00:11:20 Superman.
253 00:11:21 Are you seriously sayingthat there is
254 00:11:23 nothing, nothing specialabout our relationship?
255 00:11:26 Whoa.
256 00:11:27 Let me tell you something,j-bird.
257 00:11:30 Batman doesn't do 'ships.
258 00:11:33 What?
259 00:11:34 As in "relationships."
260 00:11:37 There is no "us."
261 00:11:40 Batman and jokerare not a thing.
262 00:11:44 I don't need you.
263 00:11:47 I don't need anyone.
264 00:11:50 You mean nothing to me.
265 00:11:58 No one does.
266 00:12:27 Hurray! Batman!
267 00:12:29 You did it!
268 00:12:30 You're welcome.
269 00:12:32 Thank you, Batman.Oh, my pleasure.
270 00:12:35 Batman, we love you!
271 00:12:37 Thank you! I'm blushingsuper hard under the mask.
272 00:12:40 - Grazie, Batman!- Prego.
273 00:12:42 You're the best, Batman!Oh, I'm humble.
274 00:12:44 Thanks, Batman!
275 00:12:45 I'm super modest about it.Thank you.
276 00:12:47 Batman, you're the greatest!
277 00:12:48 Oh, pray hands, pray hands.
278 00:12:49 Thanksfor saving the city!
279 00:12:51 You're welcome.
280 00:12:52 Batman, I love youmore than my kids!
281 00:12:54 So do I, guy!
282 00:13:01 You're our hero,Batman!
283 00:13:03 I love my life.
284 00:13:05 Computer.
285 00:13:07 Go ahead.
286 00:13:08 Are wenear the orphanage?
287 00:13:10 Great. Let's turn those frownsupside down.
288 00:13:17 That sounds likethe Batmobile.
289 00:13:21 No way!
290 00:13:23 Hey, orphans!Look who's here!
291 00:13:24 It's Batman!
292 00:13:26 Hey, kids. Who wantsa shot from the merch gun?
293 00:13:29 I do, I do, I do!Great!
294 00:13:31 Kaboom!I got a lunchbox!
295 00:13:32 Kaboom!I got a sippy cup!
296 00:13:34 Kaboom!
297 00:13:36 I got a batarang!
298 00:13:37 And the rest of youget bat bucks.
299 00:13:39 Kaboom!
300 00:13:41 Remember, kids,if you want to be like Batman,
301 00:13:43 take care of your abs.Batman out!
302 00:13:45 Batman! Batman! Batman!
303 00:13:54 Thanks, Batman.You're my hero!
304 00:14:02 Whoo!
305 00:14:18 What is the password?
306 00:14:20 Iron man sucks.
307 00:14:21 Thank you.
308 00:14:24 It must be great to be Batman.
309 00:14:27 I can only imagine he is going home right now
310 00:14:29 to party the night away,
311 00:14:31 surrounded by scores of friends
312 00:14:32 and lady tennis players.
313 00:14:43 Hey, computer.
314 00:14:45 I'm home.
315 00:14:51 Welcome home, sir.
316 00:14:52 Initializing batcave operating system.
317 00:14:57 Hey, 'puter.
318 00:15:00 What's up, Batman?
319 00:15:03 Put this bombin the museum.
320 00:15:05 Certainly, sir.
321 00:15:07 Thank you.
322 00:15:08 No worries.
323 00:15:09 Anything exciting happenwhen I was gone?
324 00:15:11 You have four pieces of mail.
325 00:15:13 Great, what'd I get?
326 00:15:14 You have this week's pennysaver,
327 00:15:16 two bills, and a coupon for bed bath and beyond.
328 00:15:20 It expires in two weeks.
329 00:15:22 But I've heard that some stores
330 00:15:23 will honor them past the expiry date.
331 00:15:25 Copy that.
332 00:15:26 Also, Alfred is on the 17th floor,
333 00:15:28 grouting tiles in the second bathroom
334 00:15:30 of the fifth master bedroom.
335 00:15:33 Do you want me to tell Alfred you're home?
336 00:15:35 No, that's cool, computer.Thanks for the update.
337 00:15:38 I should probablyhave some dinner.
338 00:15:39 Alfred left your lobster thermidor in the fridge.
339 00:15:42 Oh, that's my favorite.
340 00:15:43 I can't wait.
341 00:16:03 Oh, not 20 minutes. Stupid.
342 00:17:15 Oh, wait.
343 00:17:17 There, which one is, uh...
344 00:17:20 Okay.
345 00:17:30 You complete me.
346 00:17:34 Shut up. You had me at hello.
347 00:17:39 Love it!
348 00:18:18 Hey, mom.
349 00:18:21 Hey, dad.
350 00:18:24 I, uh...
351 00:18:25 I saved the cityagain today.
352 00:18:31 I wish you could haveseen me.
353 00:18:34 I think you would have beenreally proud.
354 00:18:40 There you are!
355 00:18:42 Oh! Alfred!I am so sorry.
356 00:18:45 I have incredible reflexes.
357 00:18:47 No, it's allmy fault, sir.
358 00:18:48 I should haveknown better
359 00:18:49 than to sneak up on youlike that.
360 00:18:51 Sorry, I was justlost in thought,
361 00:18:52 and as you know,
362 00:18:53 when I'm in there,I'm in deep.
363 00:18:55 Were you lookingat the old
364 00:18:58 At the what?The old family...
365 00:19:00 Oh, yes!I see what you mean.
366 00:19:02 Look at that!The old gang.
367 00:19:05 Yeah. No, I wasn't.
368 00:19:08 I see.
369 00:19:09 Sir, if you don't mindmy saying,
370 00:19:12 I'm a little concerned.
371 00:19:13 I've seen you go throughsimilar phases in 2016
372 00:19:16 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005
373 00:19:19 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989
374 00:19:22 and that weird one in 1966.
375 00:19:25 Do you want to talk abouthow you're feeling right now?
376 00:19:29 I don't talkabout feelings, Alfred.
377 00:19:31 I don't have any,I've never seen one.
378 00:19:33 I'm a night-stalking,crime-fighting vigilante,
379 00:19:36 and a heavy metalrapping machine.
380 00:19:37 I don't feel anythingemotionally, except for rage.
381 00:19:41 24/7, 365,at a million percent.
382 00:19:45 And if you think thatthere's something behind that,
383 00:19:46 then you're crazy.
384 00:19:47 Good night, Alfred.
385 00:19:48 Sir, it's morning.
386 00:19:52 Master Bruce,you live on an island,
387 00:19:55 figuratively and literally.
388 00:19:57 Yeah. I love it.
389 00:19:58 You can't spendthe rest of your life alone,
390 00:20:00 dressed in black,
391 00:20:01 listening to angry music,and staying up all night.
392 00:20:04 Yes, I can,'cause I'm Batman.
393 00:20:06 But don't you thinkit's time
394 00:20:09 you finally facedyour greatest fear?
395 00:20:13 Snakes?No.
396 00:20:14 Clowns?No.
397 00:20:15 Snake clowns?
398 00:20:16 Bruce, listen.
399 00:20:19 Your greatest fear is
400 00:20:22 being a partof a family again.
401 00:20:34 Nope. Now it's snake clowns,
402 00:20:35 because you put that ideain my head.
403 00:20:37 Sir?Time for push-ups!
404 00:20:38 One, two...We're going to 1,000.
405 00:20:40 I'm afraidthat's not possible, sir.
406 00:20:42 It is possible.I'm already at 20.
407 00:20:44 You're scheduledto go to Jim Gordon's
408 00:20:47 What? No.I don't wanna do that.
409 00:20:50 You're goingto have a great time!
410 00:20:51 No, no, no.
411 00:20:52 You might meetsome new people!
412 00:20:54 No, no, no!
413 00:20:55 You could even makesome new friends.
414 00:20:57 No, no, no. No, no, no.No, no, no, no, no, no, no...
415 00:21:00 No!
416 00:21:02 And before you go,we can do your favorite thing.
417 00:21:05 Tuxedo dress-up party.
418 00:21:17 Sir, aren't youforgetting something?
419 00:21:18 Nope.
420 00:21:20 Your cowl.
421 00:21:21 My what, now?
422 00:21:22 Your armored face disguise?
423 00:21:28 Fine.
424 00:21:31 Happy now?Indubitably.
425 00:21:33 Good.Must be nice to be happy.
426 00:21:35 Tonight, on Metropolis in focus,
427 00:21:38 we have our favorite star, superman!
428 00:21:40 What up, Gotham!
429 00:21:44 Superman, tell me. How do you feel
430 00:21:46 about your recent banishment of Zod to the phantom zone?
431 00:21:49 Yeah, look, pippa, it's... It's complicated. Okay?
432 00:21:52 Zod and I, we've had some
433 00:21:54 pretty epic battles over the years.
434 00:21:58 I don't believe I would be superman without fighting Zod.
435 00:22:01 See? Superman gets it.Why can't Batman?
436 00:22:06 Check it out, guys.I built a cd rack. Ta-da!
437 00:22:11 And how am I supposedto get Batman's respect
438 00:22:14 when I'm workingwith these human farts?
439 00:22:17 Boo-boo, look at me.
440 00:22:19 You're too good for Batman.He needs to open his eyes
441 00:22:22 and see what it feels likewhen you're not around. Okay?
442 00:22:25 Yeah, pippa. I couldn't put Zod
443 00:22:26 in a regular prison, right?
444 00:22:28 He's Zod. Come on!
445 00:22:30 No, he needed to go someplace
446 00:22:32 where he could never harm Metropolis ever again.
447 00:22:35 The phantom zone.
448 00:22:37 Ah, yes, the notorious space jail
449 00:22:39 that houses the greatest super-villains of all time.
450 00:22:42 They've got, like, the sickest baddies up there.
451 00:22:44 They got, like, this guy. And her.
452 00:22:46 I'll get you, my pretty!
453 00:22:48 To say nothing about him.
454 00:22:50 - Wingardium leviosa!- And these guys.
455 00:22:51 Exterminate!
456 00:22:53 I'm starting to get an idea,monkey face.
457 00:23:01 Bruce, over here!
458 00:23:03 Okay, shutterbugs.Look alive, here we go.
459 00:23:04 I'm gonna give youthree poses. You ready?
460 00:23:06 Kissy face.
461 00:23:07 Oops, I did it again.
462 00:23:08 And the bad boys.What you gonna do?
463 00:23:10 I'm out of here, guys.Thank you.
464 00:23:13 Congresswoman.
465 00:23:14 Mr. Wayne, good to see you.
466 00:23:15 Senator, looking great.Bruce.
467 00:23:21 Bruce, any advicefor the new commissioner?
468 00:23:22 Long as he knowshow to push the button
469 00:23:23 for the bat-signal,he'll be fine.
470 00:23:25 Bruce, I don't knowhow you did it.
471 00:23:27 You can't prove it,you didn't do it.
472 00:23:28 Mr. Wayne, so great tosee you! Come and join us!
473 00:23:30 Mr. prime minister.
474 00:23:31 Did you havesome work done?
475 00:23:35 No way!
476 00:23:37 Bruce Wayne!
477 00:23:38 He's the greatestorphan of all time.
478 00:23:43 Nice to see you,Mr. ambassador.
479 00:23:44 Mr. Wayne!
480 00:23:46 You want a picture?That would be swell!
481 00:23:48 Here we go. Party face!
482 00:23:49 Boom. Keep it.
483 00:23:51 Whoa! Thanks, Mr. Wayne.
484 00:23:52 Call me Bruce, champ.
485 00:23:53 I'm just so jazzedto meet you, sir.
486 00:23:55 I'm sorry,did you say "jazzed"?
487 00:23:56 Yes!My name's Richard Grayson,
488 00:23:58 but all the kidsat the orphanage call me dick.
489 00:24:00 Well, childrencan be cruel.
490 00:24:02 Great to see you, Bruce.Nice to see you, sir.
491 00:24:03 So, I had a questionfor you, sir.
492 00:24:04 Okay, hit me with it.
493 00:24:06 Do you have any adviceon how to get adopted?
494 00:24:07 Oh, yeah.Oh, you do?
495 00:24:09 Mr. Wayne,can I get an autograph?
496 00:24:10 Sure.
497 00:24:11 Um, all right, for example,is teeth whitener a good idea?
498 00:24:13 Yes.There you go, pal.
499 00:24:14 Really?Oh, yeah.
500 00:24:15 Looking good, Bruce.Thank you so much.
501 00:24:17 How about eyelineror a foreign language?
502 00:24:19 Try both. Bueno.
503 00:24:20 Look, it'sthe new commissioner!
504 00:24:22 Where?Oh, she's with the mayor!
505 00:24:24 Here she is, everyone!
506 00:24:25 Oh, my darling!Hi, dad.
507 00:24:27 You look beautiful!
508 00:24:32 Mr. Wayne?
509 00:24:34 Should I get experimentalsurgery to make my eyes larger
510 00:24:37 and more vulnerable-looking?
511 00:24:40 Uh, do that.
512 00:24:50 Uh, Mr. Wayne?
513 00:24:51 Are you currentlyin the market
514 00:24:54 Yeah.Really?
515 00:24:56 Oh, yeah.Wow.
516 00:24:57 Are you looking for moreof a base model orphan
517 00:24:59 or one that has moreupgraded features?
518 00:25:02 Like cookingor driftwood art?
519 00:25:03 Gymnastic abilities?Yep. Yep.
520 00:25:05 Close-up street magica la David Blaine?
521 00:25:06 All of itsounds great.
522 00:25:08 Because all of itsounds like me.
523 00:25:12 Mr. Wayne, do you think you'dbe interested in adopting me
524 00:25:15 as your future orphan son?
525 00:25:17 Definitely.
526 00:25:18 Oh, this is great!
527 00:25:19 Because all I wantis to get adopted,
528 00:25:21 so I can finally stop being
529 00:25:25 alone.
530 00:25:28 We've gathered here tonight
531 00:25:29 to mark the retirement of Jim Gordon.
532 00:25:31 Goodbye.
533 00:25:33 And we wish him well on his south African jungle safari!
534 00:25:37 Thank you.
535 00:25:39 Now, to introduce you
536 00:25:41 to his exciting new replacement.
537 00:25:43 Everyone, meet your new commissioner!
538 00:25:47 Meet Barbara Gordon!
539 00:25:50 The new commissioner of Gotham city!
540 00:25:53 Whoa!
541 00:25:55 She was top of her class at Harvard for police.
542 00:25:58 She cleaned up the streets
543 00:25:59 of Gotham's nearby sister city bludhaven
544 00:26:02 using statistics
545 00:26:04 and compassion.
546 00:26:07 And now she's bringing her new ideas
547 00:26:09 and her nunchucks to Gotham city.
548 00:26:13 Congratulations, darling.
549 00:26:15 Thanks, dad.Here she is, everyone!
550 00:26:17 Thank you! Thanks!
551 00:26:19 Hurray!
552 00:26:20 Ms. Gordon,over here!
553 00:26:21 Big smile!Wow.
554 00:26:23 Thank you for the oversized key to arkham asylum.
555 00:26:26 And, uh, what's this?
556 00:26:28 Thank you for the switch to the bat-signal.
557 00:26:31 Nice.
558 00:26:34 Dad, you've always done a great job
559 00:26:37 protecting Gotham city.
560 00:26:39 Flip!That's me.
561 00:26:41 Thank you. Along with Batman, of course.
562 00:26:44 Whoo!Let's hear it for Batman!
563 00:26:46 Who I wishwas here right now.
564 00:26:48 Oh, I'm surehe's listening.
565 00:26:49 I'd like to askall of you a question.
566 00:26:51 Are you fed up with crime?
567 00:26:53 Uh-huh.We're all tired of crime.
568 00:26:55 Yeah, we're sick of it.
569 00:26:56 Great. Then let's talk about real improvements
570 00:26:58 that will end the cycle of crime.
571 00:27:00 I've got a four-point pilot program
572 00:27:02 that I'd love to share with you.
573 00:27:04 I wanna hearall four points.
574 00:27:06 It's called...I am ready.
575 00:27:07 It takes a village...
576 00:27:08 Best openingto a title ever.
577 00:27:10 Not a Batman.
578 00:27:12 Waiter.Sir?
579 00:27:13 Can I?Of course.
580 00:27:14 Thank you.My pleasure.
581 00:27:15 Thanks so much.
582 00:27:19 What? Look.
583 00:27:21 Batman's been on the job for a very, very, very,
584 00:27:25 very, very, very, very,
585 00:27:27 very long time.
586 00:27:28 He has aged phenomenally.
587 00:27:30 However, despite all the great work Batman has done for us,
588 00:27:34 Gotham city is still the most
589 00:27:36 crime-ridden city in the world.
590 00:27:39 She's gota great point.
591 00:27:40 Historically speaking,that is accurate.
592 00:27:42 He hasn't captured riddler.You know,
593 00:27:44 He hasn't captured bane.
594 00:27:45 Huh! Or catwoman.
595 00:27:48 Or two-face, or any of Gotham's other villains!
596 00:27:52 He's not goodat his job.
597 00:27:53 Including the joker!
598 00:27:55 She's makinga lot of sense.
599 00:27:57 Excuse me.I'm so sorry. Excuse me.
600 00:27:58 We love you,Barbara!
601 00:28:00 Yes.Hi. Bruce Wayne.
602 00:28:02 Billionaire, bon vivant,gallivanter, playboy,
603 00:28:04 Gotham's mosteligible bachelor,
604 00:28:06 like, 90 years in a row.
605 00:28:07 That's me right there.
606 00:28:09 I know who you are, Mr. Wayne.
607 00:28:10 You bet you do.Quick quest,
608 00:28:11 what is your problemwith Batman,
609 00:28:14 and also,what the heck, dude?
610 00:28:16 I'm glad you asked, Mr. Wayne.
611 00:28:18 I'm not a Batman hater.
612 00:28:20 But we don't need an unsupervised adult man
613 00:28:23 karate-chopping poor people in a Halloween costume.
614 00:28:26 We need to take what's good about Batman
615 00:28:28 and marry it to actual laws and proper ethics
616 00:28:33 and accountability.
617 00:28:35 I hate everythingyou just said.
618 00:28:36 Because my dream is for the police force
619 00:28:39 to team up with Batman.
620 00:28:41 Waiter.
621 00:28:43 Wouldn't that be better?
622 00:28:44 And I know that, together,
623 00:28:46 the world's greatest detective...
624 00:28:48 ...and Gotham's finest
625 00:28:50 could clean up these crime-ridden streets.
626 00:28:55 Forever.
627 00:28:56 Everybody,get down!
628 00:29:00 Grand entrance!
629 00:29:02 Everyone! Make your way to the exits immediately!
630 00:29:05 Run!
631 00:29:06 Team bane,block the exits.
632 00:29:08 Going somewhere?
633 00:29:10 Clayface, freeze, bring methe new commissioner Gordon.
634 00:29:13 We're on it.Cool.
635 00:29:15 And, Harley,you know what to do.
636 00:29:17 I sure do.
637 00:29:18 It's time for operation"take out the laundry."
638 00:29:21 Butler one, this isbat one. Do you copy?
639 00:29:25 Go ahead, bat one.
640 00:29:26 I need my armored face disguise, now!
641 00:29:27 Only if you saythe magic word.
642 00:29:29 Now! No.
643 00:29:30 You're fired.
644 00:29:31 No. Sir,we'll talk about this
645 00:29:33 back at the batcave.
646 00:29:36 - Hey, 'puter.- Yes?
647 00:29:38 Initialize masterbuild music.
648 00:29:40 Right away.
649 00:29:41 Collateral damage assessment suggests the scuttler, sir.
650 00:29:45 Good plan.
651 00:29:51 Madam mayor,stay close to me.
652 00:29:53 Head for the south exit.
653 00:29:55 Now, ma'am.
654 00:29:58 Go! Go! Go!
655 00:29:59 Honey, let Batmantake care of it.
656 00:30:00 Dad, I got this.
657 00:30:14 Scuttler online.
658 00:30:16 Chief O'Hara,we're coming in hot!
659 00:30:18 I'm almost there.
660 00:30:24 Chief,get the mayor to safety.
661 00:30:27 Computer, I've gotthe joker in my sights.
662 00:30:29 Team, I got the jokerin my sights.
663 00:30:36 Joker!
664 00:30:37 Joker.
665 00:30:38 Uh, excuse me?I was about to...
666 00:30:40 Push the bat-signal?Good call.
667 00:30:42 I like your instincts.
668 00:30:43 I've got a surprisefor you guys.
669 00:30:45 And it's gonnamake you smile.
670 00:30:47 Uh-oh!His smile is our grimace.
671 00:30:49 Everybody, get down.
672 00:30:50 I...
673 00:30:51 Joker, no!
674 00:30:53 ...surrender.
675 00:30:54 What?
676 00:30:57 Uh, what did you just say?
677 00:30:59 I said,"i...Surrender."
678 00:31:02 Joker,what are you doing?
679 00:31:04 I'm sorry, my bat-earsmust be malfunctioning
680 00:31:06 because it sounds...
681 00:31:07 I surrender!
682 00:31:09 Okay, you know what? Cool it.You're a criminal.
683 00:31:11 You run,and I catch you.
684 00:31:13 Not anymore, Batman.
685 00:31:14 You were right.There is no "us."
686 00:31:17 So, there's no point in metrying to fight you anymore.
687 00:31:20 Therefore,i will be surrendering myself
688 00:31:23 to our strong-willedand forward-thinking
689 00:31:25 Blink, blink, blink.Blinkety blink, blink, blink!
690 00:31:27 That's really suspicious.
691 00:31:29 Yeah, it is.What are you up to, joker?
692 00:31:31 I just wanna go to arkhamand pay for all of my crimes.
693 00:31:33 Blink, blink, blink.Blinkety blink, blink, blink!
694 00:31:35 Are you actuallysaying "blink"?
695 00:31:37 No! Blink, blink, blink.
696 00:31:39 Joker! That's enough.
697 00:31:40 Okay, babs. I got this.
698 00:31:42 Not so fast, Batman.You can't fight me anymore.
699 00:31:45 I'm off the market.
700 00:31:46 What are youtalking about?
701 00:31:48 I'm off the menu.
702 00:31:50 You won't get to fightany of this anymore.
703 00:31:53 Man, am I sorry I asked.
704 00:31:55 Anyway, have funin jail and...
705 00:31:58 Batman, what are you doing?
706 00:32:00 Punching bane.
707 00:32:02 That was unnecessary.
708 00:32:03 Oh, no, you can't fight baneanymore either.
709 00:32:06 Really?
710 00:32:07 Yeah. Or riddler.
711 00:32:09 Or catwoman.Or condiment king.
712 00:32:12 Why not?
713 00:32:13 Because we'reall surrendering.
714 00:32:16 Right, guys?
715 00:32:17 We are?
716 00:32:18 Yes!
717 00:32:27 Riddle me this.What just happened?
718 00:32:29 It's the end of crime!
719 00:32:31 All right!
720 00:32:33 That was amazing!Over here, over here!
721 00:32:33 You did it!
722 00:32:34 Yeah, of coursei did. I'm...
723 00:32:36 Sorry, not you.
724 00:32:37 We're talkingto commissioner Gordon.
725 00:32:39 Well, it wasa team effort.
726 00:32:41 Commissioner,how do you feel?
727 00:32:42 Amazing!This is a great first day.
728 00:32:45 Okay.
729 00:32:46 Question for Batman.Shoot.
730 00:32:48 What are you gonna dowith the rest of your life?
731 00:32:49 What do you mean,the rest of my life?
732 00:32:51 We don't needa vigilante crime fighter
733 00:32:52 now that there'sno more crime.
734 00:32:54 Uh, yes, you do.
735 00:32:55 You can spend some qualitytime with your family.
736 00:32:58 My...
737 00:33:04 Okay, Batman.We'll take it from here.
738 00:33:06 All right, listen up.
739 00:33:08 All of you havethe right to remain silent.
740 00:33:10 Let's roll out!
741 00:33:11 Toodle-oo, Batman!
742 00:33:13 Bye, Batman. Au revoir,
743 00:33:14 Bye, Batman.
744 00:33:15 Bye, Batman!
745 00:33:23 Today is a victory
746 00:33:26 for the citizensof Gotham city!
747 00:33:29 No more crime!No more crime! No more crime!
748 00:33:33 No more crime! No more crime!No more crime!
749 00:33:36 No more crime! No more crime!No more crime!
750 00:33:43 Is everything okay, sir?
751 00:33:45 You've barely touchedyour lobster thermidor.
752 00:33:47 I don't have time to eatlobster thermidor right now!
753 00:33:53 Warrior two.
754 00:33:54 Pigeon pose. Tree pose.
755 00:33:58 Downward dog.
756 00:34:00 Breath of fire.
757 00:34:01 Tree pose.
758 00:34:03 Hey, Batman!
759 00:34:04 Barbara!
760 00:34:05 What are you doing?
761 00:34:07 Nothing.I have a very full life.
762 00:34:08 No, I mean,what are you doing here?
763 00:34:11 Surveillance.On the joker.
764 00:34:14 Batman, we both knowthe joker's up to something.
765 00:34:17 Well, thenwe can't just let him
766 00:34:21 He's not loose.
767 00:34:22 He has to gosomeplace outside the law.
768 00:34:24 Outside the law?Yeah.
769 00:34:26 Somewhere like, uh...
770 00:34:28 Hi, there. I'm herefrom phantom's own laundry.
771 00:34:31 Here to take that bad stuffoff your hands.
772 00:34:33 Wait, that's it!The phantom zone.
773 00:34:36 The phantom zone? No way!
774 00:34:38 That is super illegaland way outside
775 00:34:42 So, why don't youand I work together
776 00:34:46 inside the law,to figure out
777 00:34:48 Batman works alone.
778 00:34:50 That's my motto.Copyright Batman.
779 00:34:53 Batman, there areno more vigilantes
780 00:34:55 allowed in Gotham city.
781 00:34:57 Okay. Totally got it.
782 00:34:58 Then I haveto go into double-secret
783 00:35:00 super vigilante mode.
784 00:35:02 You said that out loud.
785 00:35:05 I know that she saidi said that out loud,
786 00:35:07 but there's no way I did.
787 00:35:08 She has no idea what'sgoing on in my super-mind.
788 00:35:11 Super-mind?
789 00:35:13 Smoke bomb!
790 00:35:19 Computer,how do I put the joker
791 00:35:21 in the phantom zone?
792 00:35:22 Quickest route,no freeways.
793 00:35:28 'Puter, do you hear me?
794 00:35:31 Hello, master Bruce.
795 00:35:33 Alfred,there's something wrong
796 00:35:35 with the batcomputer.Watch this.
797 00:35:36 'Puter. Nothing.
798 00:35:38 'Puter. Do you seewhat I'm saying?
799 00:35:40 There's nothingwrong with it, sir.
800 00:35:41 I have just taken awayyour computer privileges.
801 00:35:47 The parental lock?You can't do that.
802 00:35:49 Oh, I can.I've been reading
803 00:35:51 setting limits for your
804 00:35:53 You know what?Doesn't matter,
805 00:35:55 'cause I havea double-secret super password
806 00:35:57 that unlocksthe parental lock.
807 00:35:58 You mean, "Alfred dabutt-ler," with two t's?
808 00:36:03 Sir, it's time for you to stopthis unhealthy behavior.
809 00:36:06 No, it's not.
810 00:36:08 You need to takeresponsibility for your life.
811 00:36:09 Not right now, I don't.
812 00:36:11 And it startsby raising your son.
813 00:36:16 I'm sorry.
814 00:36:18 I literally have no ideawhat you're talking about.
815 00:36:21 The young orphan you adoptedat the gala. Remember?
816 00:36:26 Wow! Stairs.
817 00:36:28 Whee!
818 00:36:29 He's been living herefor the past week.
819 00:36:32 Hello, table! Boom!
820 00:36:34 And I must say, I've grownrather fond of the young lad.
821 00:36:38 Hello, secret camera.
822 00:36:40 You shouldget to know him.
823 00:36:43 You and hehave a lot in common.
824 00:36:48 Hello, family photos.
825 00:36:50 He lost his parents at a very young age.
826 00:36:54 I've always wantedone of those.
827 00:36:58 Doesn't he deservea chance for someone
828 00:37:00 to take himunder their wing,
829 00:37:03 as I took you under mine?
830 00:37:09 Alfred, you've been watchingway too many lifetime movies
831 00:37:12 and drinking chardonnay.
832 00:37:13 It's Pinot grigio, sir.Whatever it is.
833 00:37:15 Listen, you don'thave a family.
834 00:37:17 You're satisfied serving me.
835 00:37:19 So what do you know abouthaving a surrogate son?
836 00:37:22 Now, I'm gonnago fight crime
837 00:37:24 while you put that kid onthe next jet to the orphanage.
838 00:37:26 Got it?
839 00:37:28 As you wish, sir.
840 00:37:31 Whoops-a-Daisy.
841 00:37:34 Wait,what are you doing?
842 00:37:35 Dusting.
843 00:37:37 You can't let himinto the batcave!
844 00:37:38 I'm not.I'm letting him
845 00:37:41 via the batcave.
846 00:37:53 What?
847 00:37:55 It's the batcave!
848 00:37:58 Oh, my gosh.Oh, my gosh.
849 00:38:00 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
850 00:38:03 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
851 00:38:08 Batman! Whoa!
852 00:38:10 You're darn right, "whoa."
853 00:38:12 Wait, does Batman livein Bruce Wayne's basement?
854 00:38:14 No. Bruce Waynelives in Batman's attic.
855 00:38:16 We can havesleepovers every night!
856 00:38:17 No, we can't.
857 00:38:19 Wow! Look,it's the bat-sub!
858 00:38:21 Over there,it's the bat-space shuttle.
859 00:38:22 Please,keep your hands off that.
860 00:38:24 Look, it's the bat-zeppelin!Don't touch that either!
861 00:38:25 It's the bat-train!No!
862 00:38:26 It's the bat-kayak.No!
863 00:38:27 It's the bat-dune buggy.No!
864 00:38:29 It's the bat...Shark repellent?
865 00:38:31 Uh, actually,you can touch that.
866 00:38:34 It's completely useless.
867 00:38:35 Whoa! Thanks, Batman!
868 00:38:37 Please, stand over there.
869 00:38:39 And don't touch, look at,or do anything
870 00:38:42 for the remaining momentsyou have in my presence.
871 00:38:44 Okay, cool.
872 00:38:45 Computer. Go ahead.
873 00:38:47 How do I put the jokerin the phantom zone?
874 00:38:49 Joker can only be put in the phantom zone
875 00:38:51 using the phantom zone projector.
876 00:38:53 Current location...
877 00:38:55 Superman's fortress of solitude
878 00:38:57 inside the atomic cauldron.
879 00:38:59 However, only a person that isn't
880 00:39:01 shredded, ripped, or extremely swoll
881 00:39:03 can enter the cauldron.
882 00:39:05 Ugh, I'm way too buff.
883 00:39:07 You also have beautiful abs, sir.
884 00:39:09 That's my cross to bear.
885 00:39:10 Additionally, once inside the cauldron,
886 00:39:12 multiple Kryptonian defense systems engage,
887 00:39:15 including the acid moat, ring of napalm,
888 00:39:18 and the jaws of death.
889 00:39:19 Chance of total mission failure is 110%.
890 00:39:23 Those are not great odds.
891 00:39:25 Wait a minute.
892 00:39:26 Hey, kid.Yes, sir?
893 00:39:28 You're super nimble, right?I sure am!
894 00:39:30 And small?Very.
895 00:39:31 And quiet?When I desire to be.
896 00:39:33 And 110% expendable?
897 00:39:35 I don't know what that means,but okay.
898 00:39:37 Great. Follow me.
899 00:39:39 We are gonna stealthe phantom zone projector
900 00:39:41 Steal?Yeah.
901 00:39:43 We have to right a wrong.
902 00:39:44 And, sometimes,in order to right a wrong,
903 00:39:46 you have to doa wrong-right.
904 00:39:47 Gandhi said that.
905 00:39:49 Are we sureGandhi said that?
906 00:39:50 I'm paraphrasing.Cool!
907 00:39:52 Preparing fortress of solitude infiltration gear.
908 00:39:54 Wow! Look at all these!
909 00:39:55 Do I get a costumefor the mission, too?
910 00:39:57 I got a feeling that
911 00:39:59 you'll just look likea kid on Halloween.
912 00:40:00 Don't you think?
913 00:40:01 Don't touch that.
914 00:40:03 Whoo-hoo!
915 00:40:05 - El mariachi.- I like that one!
916 00:40:07 That oneis culturally insensitive.
917 00:40:08 - That one!- No way.
918 00:40:09 - This one?- Death merchant.
919 00:40:11 No.I'm okay.
920 00:40:12 - This one.- Fire starter.
921 00:40:13 This one. Clawed reigns.
922 00:40:14 Excali-bat.This one?
923 00:40:16 - Silent but deadly.- Nope.
924 00:40:17 Bat-ryshnikov.
925 00:40:18 How do we feel about this one?
926 00:40:20 Dress-up partiesare for grown-ups only.
927 00:40:22 Wait. What's that one there?
928 00:40:24 That one wasfor the assignment called
929 00:40:26 The locals called mereggae man.
930 00:40:28 I love it!
931 00:40:29 Ah! Feels likei was poured into this.
932 00:40:31 My only trouble is,
933 00:40:33 these pants arejust a little tight.
934 00:40:35 I don't know if I could throwa kick or jump in them.
935 00:40:37 I got an idea.Rip! That's better!
936 00:40:40 Now I'm free, now I'm moving.
937 00:40:41 Come on, Batman.Let's get grooving!
938 00:40:44 I can only look youin the eyes right now.
939 00:40:46 Sir, what are you doing?
940 00:40:47 What do you mean?
941 00:40:48 Why is master dickdressed like that?
942 00:40:51 How dare you tell me howto parent my kid I just met?
943 00:40:54 To the Batmobile!
944 00:40:56 Hot-diggity-dog!
945 00:41:00 Vehicle rotisserie engaged.
946 00:41:02 Retrieving the speedwagon.
947 00:41:05 Atomic batteries to power.
948 00:41:07 Turbines to speed.
949 00:41:08 Hey, kid. Let's go.
950 00:41:11 Oh, shoot!
951 00:41:12 What?
952 00:41:13 I probably shouldn't leave
953 00:41:15 until I get the thumbs up
954 00:41:17 from my new old man,Bruce Wayne.
955 00:41:20 Uh, yeah.Here's the thing.
956 00:41:24 Bruno and I decided
957 00:41:27 to share custody of you.
958 00:41:29 So I get a say
959 00:41:31 and you're mission approved.
960 00:41:33 No way!Is this really happening?
961 00:41:36 Yeah.
962 00:41:37 Whoo-hoo!
963 00:41:38 A month ago, I had no dads.
964 00:41:40 Then I had one dad.Now I have two dads!
965 00:41:42 And one of them is Batman!Yeah.
966 00:41:46 So...
967 00:41:47 Are you readyto follow Batman
968 00:41:49 and maybe learn a fewlife lessons along the way?
969 00:41:52 I sure am, dad two!
970 00:41:54 But first,where's the seatbelt?
971 00:41:56 The first lesson is,
972 00:41:58 life doesn'tgive you seatbelts!
973 00:42:00 Let's go!Whoo-hoo!
974 00:42:02 Yes!
975 00:42:05 Faster, dad! Faster!
976 00:42:08 Whoo!Yeah!
977 00:42:09 Whoo!Yeah!
978 00:42:10 Yes, yes, yes!
979 00:42:13 Oh! Oh, my goodness.I am so sorry.
980 00:42:15 Get back up in that seat.There you go.
981 00:42:17 Hey, listen. As soon asi get back to the batcave,
982 00:42:19 I'll make sure that Alfredputs seatbelts on there, okay?
983 00:42:22 But for the time being,
984 00:42:23 I'm just gonnaput my arm right here.
985 00:42:25 And we're just gonnagently ease out of here.
986 00:42:29 And here we go.
987 00:42:43 Okay. Like all superheroes,
988 00:42:46 superman has zero friends,and he spends most of his time
989 00:42:49 basking in sweet,sweet isolation,
990 00:42:51 here at his alone palace.
991 00:42:53 So, I'll keep him busy
992 00:42:55 while you sneak into that ventand get the projector. Got it?
993 00:42:57 Copy that! Oh, here's an idea.I could also...
994 00:42:59 Whoa, whoa. Don'teven finish that thought.
995 00:43:00 See this counter?
996 00:43:02 These are all the good ideasBatman has.
997 00:43:03 And no one else hasever had any good ideas.
998 00:43:05 So don't even try.
999 00:43:07 Your super power...
1000 00:43:08 ...is excellent listeningand execution of my ideas.
1001 00:43:11 Let's try it out.Cool!
1002 00:43:13 Drop to the ground.Do a backflip.
1003 00:43:15 Do a front flip.Triple Axel.
1004 00:43:17 Plie. Releve. Jete.Pythagorean theorem.
1005 00:43:19 A squared plus b squaredequals c squared.
1006 00:43:21 Physical, I said!
1007 00:43:22 A squared plus b squared
1008 00:43:24 equals c squared.
1009 00:43:26 How'd I do, dad?Mediocre.
1010 00:43:27 Yes!
1011 00:43:29 And don't call me "dad."Now, begin mission.
1012 00:43:30 Yes, papa.
1013 00:43:32 "Papa" falls intothe "dad" category.
1014 00:43:52 'Sup, supes?
1015 00:43:53 Wow. It's Batman.
1016 00:43:56 And he's at my house.
1017 00:43:58 Right now.
1018 00:43:59 What are you doing here?
1019 00:44:00 Don't worry about it, dawg.
1020 00:44:02 I'm not here tothrow down or anything.
1021 00:44:03 Uh, no,i would crush you.
1022 00:44:05 Okay. Sure, sure, sure.
1023 00:44:08 Hey, listen.Thank me later,
1024 00:44:10 but I just happened to bein the hood.
1025 00:44:12 And I figured that you couldprobably use the...
1026 00:44:18 ...company.
1027 00:44:21 Wait a minute.
1028 00:44:23 Are you... are you having
1029 00:44:25 the "57th annual justiceleague anniversary party"
1030 00:44:29 without me?
1031 00:44:30 No.
1032 00:44:32 No! No! No!
1033 00:44:33 No! There must have beensome mistake with the email.
1034 00:44:36 That's crazy, man.
1035 00:44:38 Totally! Yes, email mistakeshappen all the time.
1036 00:44:41 Sometimes I don't getsuperman's emails for
1037 00:44:44 years.
1038 00:44:45 Great point, g.L.Great point.
1039 00:44:46 All right. Well, thatclears up everything, right?
1040 00:44:48 Enjoy the party, bro.
1041 00:44:49 Hit it, dj wonder dog.
1042 00:44:59 Hey, Batman.Do you wanna take a quick pic?
1043 00:45:01 Sure. Where do you want me?
1044 00:45:03 Right there is perfect.
1045 00:45:04 Here's the camera.Oh.
1046 00:45:05 Okay, party people,get together.
1047 00:45:07 Yeah. Everybody say...
1048 00:45:09 Super friends!
1049 00:45:11 Let me see it! Let me see!
1050 00:45:12 Classic! We got everyone.
1051 00:45:15 Yeah, everyone.
1052 00:45:16 Thanks, Batman.
1053 00:45:18 Yeah, no problem.I did, like, a burst.
1054 00:45:20 This party is the bomb!
1055 00:45:22 Look at me!More like martian
1056 00:45:27 'Puter, call kid.
1057 00:45:30 Bat-dad?
1058 00:45:31 How's it going?
1059 00:45:32 'Cause everything isgoing great down here.
1060 00:45:34 I can see the target.
1061 00:45:36 But there's some kind oflaser energy thing
1062 00:45:37 that I can't get through.
1063 00:45:38 Okay. I'll seeif I can shut it off.
1064 00:45:40 But I'm gonna have to make upan excuse to leave this party
1065 00:45:42 without anyone noticing.
1066 00:45:45 Bye.
1067 00:45:48 Kid, tell mewhen it's off, all right?
1068 00:45:49 Now? No.
1069 00:45:50 Now? No.
1070 00:45:51 Now? Not quite.
1071 00:45:52 Now? No.
1072 00:45:53 My son... No.
1073 00:45:55 These irreplaceable crystals contain all my knowledge,
1074 00:45:57 which I now pass on to...
1075 00:45:59 Darn it. It's gotta be one ofthese. Is this the one?
1076 00:46:02 O.M. Gosh! You did it, padre!It's off!
1077 00:46:04 Okay.
1078 00:46:06 Now you gotta make your wayto the atomic cauldron
1079 00:46:07 and get thatphantom zone projector.
1080 00:46:09 Do exactly as I say.10-4!
1081 00:46:11 Okay. Jump!
1082 00:46:14 Do a front flip. Do a backflip.
1083 00:46:17 Run, run, run. Drop.
1084 00:46:19 That's excellent listening.
1085 00:46:21 Shimmy.
1086 00:46:22 Strafe-left. Strafe-right.
1087 00:46:24 Avoid.
1088 00:46:26 Hey, I was thinking.If I'm gonna be a superhero,
1089 00:46:27 and go on awesomesuperhero missions
1090 00:46:29 like this one,can we use code names?
1091 00:46:32 Mine can be Robin.
1092 00:46:34 I'm sorry, say that again? Robin!
1093 00:46:35 As in the small,midwestern frail bird?
1094 00:46:38 Yeah, and I already have a catch phrase.
1095 00:46:39 Tweet, tweet, on the street.
1096 00:46:41 Hard pass. And a song.
1097 00:46:44 Harder pass. Now slide!
1098 00:46:47 Okay, kid. I'm gonna teach you
1099 00:46:48 how to masterbuild your way inside that thing.
1100 00:46:50 Yay!
1101 00:46:52 Grab those 2x6's, pull out the axle studs,
1102 00:46:54 disconnect the 6x10 plates.
1103 00:46:55 Like this?
1104 00:46:56 Whoa! Unbelievable obeying.
1105 00:46:58 Now, let's ride.
1106 00:47:00 Toes to the nose.
1107 00:47:01 Now you're gleaming the cube.
1108 00:47:02 Yeah!Now, get creative.
1109 00:47:04 Freestyle a little bit. Oh, that's good, kid!
1110 00:47:07 It's like lookingin a bat-mirror.
1111 00:47:09 Okay. Leap.
1112 00:47:14 I've got the projector, dad. Booyah!
1113 00:47:16 Now do everythingwe just did backwards.
1114 00:47:19 Oh.
1115 00:47:21 Oh! Here you go, dad.We did it!
1116 00:47:23 Yeah! Mission accomplished.That was fun!
1117 00:47:29 You okay, Batman?
1118 00:47:30 You seemthe opposite of stern.
1119 00:47:32 Yeah, I'm fine. It's just
1120 00:47:34 watching you out there,
1121 00:47:37 it was like the world wasn'tall darkness anymore.
1122 00:47:42 For a brief moment
1123 00:47:44 I could have sworni felt something.
1124 00:47:48 That feeling is pride, sir.
1125 00:47:51 You're right.
1126 00:47:52 I am super proud.
1127 00:47:56 Of myself.
1128 00:47:58 For being sucha good teacher, obviously.
1129 00:48:01 Yeah, you'rea great teacher.
1130 00:48:04 I am?
1131 00:48:05 Yeah! I wanna be just like youwhen I grow up, padre!
1132 00:48:08 Wait, what did you call me?
1133 00:48:11 I called you padre.
1134 00:48:13 It's Spanishfor "dad." Sorry.
1135 00:48:16 Well, isn't it also a coolSpanish way to say "buddy"?
1136 00:48:20 Yeah, I could've beensaying it that way.
1137 00:48:22 Then I'll allow it.
1138 00:48:23 Oh, you're such a great padre!
1139 00:48:25 What are you doing?
1140 00:48:26 I'm trying to give youa big old hug.
1141 00:48:28 Thought you wereattacking me.
1142 00:48:31 Hey, you up for anothertop secret superhero mission
1143 00:48:33 to defeat the joker?
1144 00:48:35 Oh, I am down tostop that clown.
1145 00:48:37 But I don't wanna makemy other dad,
1146 00:48:39 Do you think we'll be donebefore my bedtime?
1147 00:48:41 Bedtime?
1148 00:48:42 Batman's life lessonnumber two.
1149 00:48:44 Vigilantesdon't have bedtimes.
1150 00:48:46 Yes!
1151 00:48:47 So, what's the vigilantepolicy on cookies?
1152 00:48:50 Unlimited!
1153 00:48:53 All right, kid. We need to avoid commissioner Gordon.
1154 00:48:58 So, lesson number three.
1155 00:49:00 When going stealth,
1156 00:49:02 you gotta hideevery part of you,
1157 00:49:04 physically and emotionally.
1158 00:49:06 Got it?Yeah!
1159 00:49:08 Already failed.Now, what I need you to do
1160 00:49:10 is usethe naturally dark areas
1161 00:49:13 of your costume,
1162 00:49:14 and integrateinto the dark parts
1163 00:49:16 of this environment.
1164 00:49:18 Okay.
1165 00:49:19 Can you see me?Yes.
1166 00:49:21 How about now?Yes.
1167 00:49:23 What about now? Now?Yes.
1168 00:49:25 Yes. You're a goner, kid.
1169 00:49:27 Batman?Barbara!
1170 00:49:32 Batman? Batman!
1171 00:49:34 Hey, there.Look at you.
1172 00:49:36 Who's this?Hi, police lady.
1173 00:49:37 Is that your son?Yes, I am.
1174 00:49:39 Is that my son...No, that's just weird.
1175 00:49:41 It's weirderif it's not your son.
1176 00:49:42 Right. No, I don't...
1177 00:49:45 I'm not in a relationshipor anything.
1178 00:49:47 I could have a kid.
1179 00:49:49 I mean,if I met the right lady,
1180 00:49:52 and if she was just standingright in front of me,
1181 00:49:55 and we looked at each otherand thought,
1182 00:49:56 "hey, let's do this.
1183 00:49:58 "Let's be together."
1184 00:50:00 Batman?Yes?
1185 00:50:02 I hope you're backbecause you've decided
1186 00:50:03 to work together
1187 00:50:05 on the joker case.
1188 00:50:06 Uh...
1189 00:50:08 Yeah. Absolutely!
1190 00:50:10 Great.
1191 00:50:13 Ooh. Arkham asylum.
1192 00:50:14 So, beforewe question the joker,
1193 00:50:16 I'm gonna need you to handover all your weapons.
1194 00:50:17 I mean, I don't knowif I have anything...
1195 00:50:19 Oh!
1196 00:50:20 I just got a couple here.There.
1197 00:50:22 Is that it?Yeah.
1198 00:50:23 Oh. Of course.
1199 00:50:25 What about the utility belt?Anything in your cape?
1200 00:50:26 Under your cowl?
1201 00:50:28 And your shoes.
1202 00:50:29 There we go.
1203 00:50:30 Uh...This is really uncomfortable.
1204 00:50:32 Sorry. My shoesare part of my pants.
1205 00:50:35 Oops.
1206 00:50:37 Batman?Yes?
1207 00:50:38 Why is your "not son"
1208 00:50:40 trying to smuggle
1209 00:50:41 the phantom zone projectorinto arkham?
1210 00:50:43 What? Hey, kid.What is this?
1211 00:50:45 Batman, give methe phantom zone projector.
1212 00:50:47 No.Batman!
1213 00:50:50 Give me the phantom zoneprojector! Give it to me!
1214 00:50:52 I studied Brazilian jiu-jitsuat Harvard for police.
1215 00:50:54 Oh, yeah? Well, guess who gota phd in smoke bombs!
1216 00:50:57 Dr. Batman.
1217 00:50:58 Guards! Get them!
1218 00:50:59 Freeze, Batman!
1219 00:51:01 Hey, kid.This is a training exercise.
1220 00:51:03 These guys are my bros.Go ahead
1221 00:51:04 and take a coupleof them out.
1222 00:51:06 Hey, frank.
1223 00:51:07 You wanta piece of Robin?
1224 00:51:08 Barney!Nice compound fracture!
1225 00:51:10 How'd you likea punch, Glen?
1226 00:51:12 Code red!
1227 00:51:14 I need totalsecurity lockdown, now!
1228 00:51:18 Om!
1229 00:51:21 'Sup, joker?
1230 00:51:22 Namaste, Batman.
1231 00:51:24 Namaste.Gross.
1232 00:51:25 Ooh. Briefs man.Me, too.
1233 00:51:27 Cut the baloney.Kid, guard the door, will ya?
1234 00:51:29 On it! Take that, Alan!
1235 00:51:31 Huh. Looks likeyou're going
1236 00:51:32 to a lot of troublefor little old me.
1237 00:51:34 I must beyour greatest enemy after all.
1238 00:51:37 Right, Batman?
1239 00:51:38 I seewhat you're trying to do.
1240 00:51:40 And what is that?
1241 00:51:41 You're trying to entrap me
1242 00:51:42 into a relationship.Really?
1243 00:51:44 Yeah, and it'snot gonna work.
1244 00:51:46 Oh, yes, it is.
1245 00:51:47 Because I'm inside your head.
1246 00:51:50 No, you're not!No, you're not!
1247 00:51:51 I knew you'd say that.
1248 00:51:52 No, you didn't!No, you didn't!
1249 00:51:54 And I knewyou'd say that!
1250 00:51:56 See? We aren't so different,i and you.
1251 00:51:58 It's, "you and I!"It's, "you and I!"
1252 00:51:59 Argh!Admit it.
1253 00:52:01 I'm your greatest enemy.
1254 00:52:02 You're not my greatest enemy,joker.
1255 00:52:04 Okay, then send meto the phantom zone.
1256 00:52:06 Fine, I will.
1257 00:52:08 And proveI'm your greatest enemy.
1258 00:52:12 Batman, don't do this.
1259 00:52:13 As long as you'rein the phantom zone,
1260 00:52:15 I'll be saving Gotham city,
1261 00:52:17 and that's allthat matters to me.
1262 00:52:19 Goodbye, joker.
1263 00:52:20 Oh, Batman, thank you!
1264 00:52:24 Yes! That's what I callsaving the city again!
1265 00:52:28 Batman, what are you doing?
1266 00:52:30 I'm Batman-ing.
1267 00:52:36 Stop it!
1268 00:52:37 Batman, I can't believeyou did this.
1269 00:52:39 Hi, police lady.
1270 00:52:40 And even worse,
1271 00:52:42 you've made this kid intoan accessory to your crime.
1272 00:52:45 Sorry, kid.
1273 00:52:46 That's okay, ma'am.As long as I'm doing
1274 00:52:48 a dime in the big housewith my old man,
1275 00:52:49 everything's gonna be a-okay.
1276 00:52:51 Officers, take this projectorto the evidence room.
1277 00:52:53 You got it.And get this man some pants.
1278 00:52:55 I'm good the way I am.
1279 00:52:56 B go, why has nobodyfist bumped me yet?
1280 00:53:00 You know,when I was a kid,
1281 00:53:04 I wanted to be you,Batman.
1282 00:53:07 I wanted to be as strong
1283 00:53:09 and as fastand as smart as Batman.
1284 00:53:13 But you're notwho I thought you were.
1285 00:53:15 Uh... what do you mean?
1286 00:53:17 You can't be a hero
1287 00:53:19 if you only careabout yourself.
1288 00:53:22 Barbara, I...
1289 00:53:26 I think you're underestimatingthe importance
1290 00:53:28 of the jokerbeing in the phantom zone.
1291 00:53:31 Really, it's kind of a strokeof genius. All the...
1292 00:53:33 Hey, where are you going?
1293 00:53:34 I just put jokerin the one place
1294 00:53:36 he can't do anyone any harm.
1295 00:53:39 Yeah.
1296 00:53:41 But what ifyou just gave joker
1297 00:53:44 exactly what he wanted?
1298 00:54:10 Oh!
1299 00:54:14 Whoa!
1300 00:54:16 Look at this place!Am I being too loud?
1301 00:54:19 Hi!Oh, my gosh!
1302 00:54:21 Sorry. I always do that.
1303 00:54:23 How about a warningnext time?
1304 00:54:24 You're so right,and I am so wrong.
1305 00:54:26 Welcome to the phantom zone,bad guy.
1306 00:54:28 Yeah, bad guy.
1307 00:54:29 My name is Phyllis.Oh, that was
1308 00:54:31 Now hold stillwhile I scan you.
1309 00:54:34 Scanning for badness.
1310 00:54:35 Trying to assesswhether you are bad.
1311 00:54:41 Ugh! Your whole thingscreams "bad guy."
1312 00:54:44 Oh, yeah.I'm a really bad person.
1313 00:54:46 But with vulnerabilities.
1314 00:54:48 Who, me?No way.
1315 00:54:50 So, where do you keepall the other bad people
1316 00:54:53 They're standingright behind you.
1317 00:54:55 Whoa!
1318 00:54:58 Hi there, guys.
1319 00:54:59 Lovely to meet you all.I'm the...
1320 00:55:00 Oh, fist bump?There we... handshake?
1321 00:55:03 It doesn't matter.I'm the joker.
1322 00:55:04 Take a lookat the new guy.
1323 00:55:06 Guess they'll just letanybody in here.
1324 00:55:08 Oh, no, no, no.I'm very bad, too.
1325 00:55:10 They just showeda video montage...
1326 00:55:12 Boring!What?
1327 00:55:14 You're boring.He looks delicious.
1328 00:55:16 Let's eat this guy.
1329 00:55:19 Stop with the violencefor just a second!
1330 00:55:21 What if I told youi could get you outta here?
1331 00:55:26 I'm sorry,what'd you just say?
1332 00:55:27 That's right. I'm so bad,
1333 00:55:29 I got myself thrown intothis heck-hole on purpose!
1334 00:55:32 I'm listening.
1335 00:55:33 Count me interested.
1336 00:55:36 Look, everyone here knows
1337 00:55:37 what it's like to be hurtby a hero, don't they?
1338 00:55:40 We've all beentaken for granted, right?
1339 00:55:42 - Yeah, bro.- I'm relating.
1340 00:55:44 Well, that's why I cameto this space prison.
1341 00:55:48 To recruitthe universe's greatest...
1342 00:55:49 We'll do it!
1343 00:55:51 I'm sorry?
1344 00:55:52 You were going to saysomething about recruiting
1345 00:55:54 the universe'sgreatest villains
1346 00:55:55 to conquer a superhero.
1347 00:55:58 Am I right?Uh, yeah.
1348 00:56:00 - Well, we're in!- Yay!
1349 00:56:02 Really? Becausei brought a powerpoint...
1350 00:56:03 Still boring!
1351 00:56:04 Yeah. Just get on with it.
1352 00:56:06 You want usto humiliate him?
1353 00:56:07 I certainly do. Yes.
1354 00:56:09 You want us to make himgrovel at your feet?
1355 00:56:11 I would like to see thatvery much!
1356 00:56:13 You want us to smite him?
1357 00:56:16 Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1358 00:56:17 You want us to makethe rivers of Gotham city
1359 00:56:19 run red with his blood?
1360 00:56:21 Oh, that's...
1361 00:56:22 Oh, no blood?How do you feel about lava?
1362 00:56:24 Yes! Lava.
1363 00:56:26 - Done.- Yay!
1364 00:56:27 I can't waitto crush buildings.
1365 00:56:28 Excuse me. Hello?
1366 00:56:30 Over here.I don't want to be a downer,
1367 00:56:31 but how exactly are we goingto get outta this place?
1368 00:56:33 Oh, leave that to me.
1369 00:56:37 Don't wanna jinx us,
1370 00:56:39 but I'll be a lot happier whenthis phantom zone projector
1371 00:56:41 is locked up tight.
1372 00:56:44 Going up, ma'am?
1373 00:56:45 No. You're going down!
1374 00:56:49 Look out! Smash!
1375 00:56:51 I guess you're right.I am going up. Ding!
1376 00:56:57 Here comes the...
1377 00:56:58 Phantom zone!
1378 00:57:04 Huh?
1379 00:57:07 I'm gonna gostart looting.
1380 00:57:08 Hello, Gotham city!
1381 00:57:12 The clown prince of crime
1382 00:57:15 is back!
1383 00:57:16 Commissioner Gordon,you gotta take a look at this.
1384 00:57:19 What's that?
1385 00:57:20 A monkeyand dog are friends.
1386 00:57:22 Not that. That!
1387 00:57:24 And I've come to finally take over the city.
1388 00:57:27 But in order to do that,
1389 00:57:29 I need to break my friends out of a giant, scary prison.
1390 00:57:33 Hey, guys, he means us!
1391 00:57:34 Yay!
1392 00:57:36 And I ain't talking about
1393 00:57:37 those rogue losers dressed in cosplay!
1394 00:57:40 Oh!Me-ouch.
1395 00:57:42 I'm talking aboutmy new peeps!
1396 00:57:44 And they're just like me.
1397 00:57:46 The greatest villainsyou'll ever see.
1398 00:57:49 You wanna meet them?
1399 00:57:51 No.Too bad.
1400 00:57:53 He's evil, he's magic,
1401 00:57:55 and it's about to get tragic.
1402 00:57:58 It's Voldemort.
1403 00:58:00 Magic!
1404 00:58:03 You are a fish.
1405 00:58:04 You are a frog.
1406 00:58:05 You are a fish frog.
1407 00:58:07 He's a 9,000-year-old incarnation of evil,
1408 00:58:09 with an eye for jewelry.
1409 00:58:11 Give it up for Sauron!
1410 00:58:13 Good afternoon,Gotham city.
1411 00:58:20 He likes long, violent walks on historic buildings.
1412 00:58:23 It's king Kong!
1413 00:58:24 Come at me, Gotham!
1414 00:58:27 Commissioner Gordon,
1415 00:58:29 these monsters,they're too powerful.
1416 00:58:31 Can you contain themto downtown?
1417 00:58:33 That's gonnabe impossible.
1418 00:58:35 Half the police forceare fish!
1419 00:58:37 Sergeant Jackson!Stop floppin' around!
1420 00:58:39 And rounding out the evil all-stars,
1421 00:58:41 wicked witch!
1422 00:58:43 Medusa.
1423 00:58:44 And British robots!
1424 00:58:46 Exterminate!
1425 00:58:47 Ask your nerd friends.
1426 00:58:49 Hello? Bad guys?
1427 00:58:55 What a crew, huh?And they all work for me!
1428 00:58:59 Who's the greatest villainof them all now, Batman?
1429 00:59:02 Still not you.
1430 00:59:04 Actually, this does lookpretty terrifying, bat-dad.
1431 00:59:06 Whee!
1432 00:59:07 Nice destructionall around.
1433 00:59:09 Watch your step!
1434 00:59:10 Good work, guys!
1435 00:59:12 Now, all that's left for me
1436 00:59:14 is to rub itin Batman's bat face.
1437 00:59:17 Hey, Sauron,doesn't your flaming eye
1438 00:59:19 have a unique ability topeer through time and space?
1439 00:59:22 Uh-huh.
1440 00:59:24 Well, I needto find Batman.
1441 00:59:25 Where's homeboy'sman cave?
1442 00:59:26 Hmm. Give me a second.
1443 00:59:28 Scary noise.
1444 00:59:30 It's beneath Wayne manor!
1445 00:59:31 Whoa! Whoa,whoa, whoa, whoa.
1446 00:59:34 Are you tryingto tell me
1447 00:59:36 that Bruce Wayneis Batman...
1448 00:59:39 ...'s roommate?
1449 00:59:41 Uh... yeah.
1450 00:59:43 Evil army,this way to the batcave!
1451 00:59:51 Good grief!
1452 01:00:04 Hey, Batman!
1453 01:00:06 Joker's home.
1454 01:00:09 I'm rubbing my buttall over your stuff.
1455 01:00:12 We're going to have torename this the butt-mobile.
1456 01:00:16 Hey, evil army.
1457 01:00:17 I need Batmanbrought here.
1458 01:00:19 Now go get him!
1459 01:00:21 Joker out!
1460 01:00:25 Uh... Padre?
1461 01:00:28 Yeah?
1462 01:00:29 Do you ever get scared?
1463 01:00:31 No.
1464 01:00:33 Yeah, that's what I figured,'cause you're Batman.
1465 01:00:42 Hey, kid.You know who does get scared?
1466 01:00:46 Who?
1467 01:00:47 Bruce Wayne.
1468 01:00:49 Really?Yeah.
1469 01:00:51 Bruno told me once
1470 01:00:52 that sometimes the only wayto get out of a down moment
1471 01:00:56 is to start boxing.
1472 01:00:58 And by "boxing," he meant
1473 01:01:00 beatboxing.
1474 01:01:02 Oh!
1475 01:01:11 Oh. Um...
1476 01:01:18 Oh, my gosh.This does make me feel better.
1477 01:01:20 Okay. Shh. Batman solo.
1478 01:01:26 The bat-fax!
1479 01:01:28 Ha! The city needs me.Bang, bang, bang!
1480 01:01:31 Excuse me.
1481 01:01:32 Can you get the commissionerand show her this?
1482 01:01:34 Batman.
1483 01:01:35 Would you stop doing that?
1484 01:01:37 I sent the bat-fax.
1485 01:01:40 I hate to say this,but you're right.
1486 01:01:42 The city needs you.
1487 01:01:43 Yes! Let me out.
1488 01:01:45 I'm only going to let you outon one condition.
1489 01:01:47 Name it.
1490 01:01:48 You can'tdo it by yourself.
1491 01:01:53 Fine. Whoam I working with?
1492 01:01:54 Seal team six? Fox force five?Suicide squad?
1493 01:01:57 No. Me.
1494 01:01:59 Oh, I wanna help, too!
1495 01:02:00 And I shall join as well.Whoa!
1496 01:02:02 Alfred pennyworthat your service, ma'am.
1497 01:02:04 How did you...Alfred, you gotta let me
1498 01:02:05 out of here.Sir, those creatures
1499 01:02:07 out there are unlikeanything we've ever seen.
1500 01:02:09 Speak for yourself.You don't know
1501 01:02:11 I haven't told you everything.
1502 01:02:13 And you'll never be ableto defeat them alone.
1503 01:02:15 And it'll be more funif we all do it together!
1504 01:02:17 What's the worst thingthat could happen?
1505 01:02:19 What are youso afraid of?
1506 01:02:21 The thingI'm most afraid of?
1507 01:02:28 I gotta be honest with you.It's snake clowns.
1508 01:02:31 Yeah, that's not a thing.
1509 01:02:32 Well then, nothing.
1510 01:02:33 I'm not afraidof anything.
1511 01:02:37 Prove it.
1512 01:02:38 Oh, I will.Good.
1513 01:02:40 Do you know what the b-a-tin Batman stands for?
1514 01:02:42 Not really.Best at teamwork.
1515 01:02:44 Best at teamwork manis my full name.
1516 01:02:47 Yay! We're goingon a family trip.
1517 01:02:49 This isnot a family trip.
1518 01:02:51 I can wearmy costume, too.
1519 01:02:52 Well, luckily for us,
1520 01:02:53 you left your costumeback at the...
1521 01:02:54 Rip!Oh!
1522 01:02:56 Nope. Under your clothes.That's perfect.
1523 01:02:58 Rip!Alfred, what
1524 01:03:01 I miss the '60s.
1525 01:03:02 Hey, canscarecrow help?
1526 01:03:03 Yeah!He's destroying
1527 01:03:05 Permit usto lend you assistance.
1528 01:03:07 Yeah. Why don't weuse these guys?
1529 01:03:09 What am I gonna do?Get a bunch
1530 01:03:10 of criminals togetherto fight the criminals?
1531 01:03:12 That's a stupid idea.
1532 01:03:17 Okay, guys. Game plan.
1533 01:03:19 Joker's taken the projectorto Wayne manor.
1534 01:03:21 Right. Thanks, Batman.
1535 01:03:23 We need that projector.Projector.
1536 01:03:24 Or there's no way toblast these monsters
1537 01:03:26 back to the phantom zone.Monsters.
1538 01:03:28 Batman, I really don'tneed you to finish my...
1539 01:03:30 Sand castles.No.
1540 01:03:31 Sister's homework.No.
1541 01:03:32 Succulent something.No.
1542 01:03:34 Um... everybody?
1543 01:03:36 Batmanis in arkham asylum.
1544 01:03:39 Get him!
1545 01:03:40 Okay, everyone,grab on to me.
1546 01:03:42 Whoa!
1547 01:03:48 We've gotta take cover!
1548 01:03:49 Whoa!
1549 01:03:51 Joker has eyes on us.
1550 01:03:52 Where?
1551 01:03:53 No! I mean,
1552 01:03:55 he literally hasa giant eye on us.
1553 01:03:57 I think that thing can see our every move!
1554 01:03:59 Shaka-laka-lako.
1555 01:04:00 We've got to destroy it,
1556 01:04:03 or we'll nevermake it to Wayne manor.
1557 01:04:04 Uh... bat-dad?
1558 01:04:05 I really thinkyou should see this.
1559 01:04:07 Building survey!
1560 01:04:09 This building'snot up to code!
1561 01:04:17 Gotcha.
1562 01:04:23 Is that real lava?
1563 01:04:26 I'm okay.
1564 01:04:29 All right, yeah.It's 100% lava.
1565 01:04:32 Everyone,start throwing me bricks.
1566 01:04:34 Right away, sir.I need a 4x6.
1567 01:04:35 - Here you go.- I need an elbow.
1568 01:04:36 Elbow.
1569 01:04:44 Ow!
1570 01:04:50 Whoo!
1571 01:04:51 Yes! I did it.Pretty cool, huh?
1572 01:04:54 - Batman?- Yeah?
1573 01:04:55 Why did you build this thingwith only one seat?
1574 01:04:58 'Cause last I checked,
1575 01:04:59 I only had one butt.What the...
1576 01:05:02 What have you doneto Wayne manor?
1577 01:05:04 Hey, Batman, guess what!
1578 01:05:06 I found outone of your secrets.
1579 01:05:08 Uh-oh.What do we
1580 01:05:11 It looks like a bunchof relationship comedies.
1581 01:05:13 What's that one? Must love dogs.
1582 01:05:15 Must love crying.
1583 01:05:16 Marley & me.I love the ending.
1584 01:05:18 Oh! Serendipity?
1585 01:05:21 We have serendipity?I love that movie!
1586 01:05:23 For a loner, Batman,
1587 01:05:25 you sure like movies about relationships!
1588 01:05:28 Oh! And lookwhat else I found!
1589 01:05:30 All your wonderful toys.
1590 01:05:34 Acciolightning storm!
1591 01:05:39 Uh... everyone, hold on.
1592 01:05:47 Gremlins, dismantle that plane now!
1593 01:05:51 Ugly monsterson our three.
1594 01:05:54 Uh... Padre?Not now, kid.
1595 01:05:58 Kind of gotmy hands full.
1596 01:06:01 I've got good tone.Firing.
1597 01:06:07 Uh... Batman?What's up, buddy?
1598 01:06:10 Are we nearlyat Wayne manor?
1599 01:06:11 Why?
1600 01:06:13 Uh... your number twoneeds to go number one.
1601 01:06:15 I thought I told youto go back at the prison.
1602 01:06:17 I tried. Banewas in there.
1603 01:06:19 He had sort of a "get outof this bathroom now" vibe.
1604 01:06:22 I knew I shouldn'thave given you that water.
1605 01:06:26 Can you hold it inlike a big boy?
1606 01:06:28 Engine one down.
1607 01:06:30 Not a big deal. Don't worryabout it. It's fine.
1608 01:06:31 Engine two down.
1609 01:06:32 It does that sometimes.
1610 01:06:33 We've lostengine three.
1611 01:06:35 Oh. Could live without it.
1612 01:06:38 Engine four!
1613 01:06:41 That I do need to fix.
1614 01:06:42 Good news. Our bathroomproblem is solved.
1615 01:06:47 You three wait herewhile I go fix the engine.
1616 01:06:49 Don't worry, Batman.You fix the batwing, I'll fly.
1617 01:06:52 All good, babs.I've got my autopilot on it.
1618 01:06:54 Done.
1619 01:06:55 Autopilot?That's just a rope!
1620 01:06:57 Exactly. All right, guys.Until I get back,
1621 01:07:00 Thanks, rope.
1622 01:07:05 All right, let's see.
1623 01:07:06 Yes,the piston brake out here.
1624 01:07:07 Jet engine brakein here and...
1625 01:07:11 Get out of here. No.Give me... no! Stop it!
1626 01:07:13 Come on, master dick.We need to help him.
1627 01:07:15 I'm with you, grandpa!
1628 01:07:16 Get off my padre!
1629 01:07:18 Unhand him,you animatronic fiends.
1630 01:07:20 What are you twodoing here?
1631 01:07:21 I told youto stay in the cockpit.
1632 01:07:24 You disobeyed me.You're on a timeout.
1633 01:07:26 Batman,you're on a timeout.
1634 01:07:27 What? Alfred, you betterun-timeout me right now!
1635 01:07:30 No. Not untilyou un-timeout master dick.
1636 01:07:34 Guys, you're allun-timeouted!
1637 01:07:35 We have incoming!
1638 01:07:37 Sir! Watch outfor those...
1639 01:07:45 Okay. Everybody,timeout off.
1640 01:07:46 Whoo-hoo!I've been parented.
1641 01:07:48 Batman, I can help you.No. Protect the rope.
1642 01:07:50 The rope is fine!
1643 01:07:52 Save master dick!
1644 01:07:53 I'm fine. I'll just do
1645 01:07:55 one of my gymnastics movesto...
1646 01:07:58 No!
1647 01:08:04 Dick...
1648 01:08:09 Gotcha!
1649 01:08:14 Hold on, Alfred.I'm almost there!
1650 01:08:17 No!
1651 01:08:21 Alfred!
1652 01:08:32 No.
1653 01:08:38 No!
1654 01:08:41 Move over, rope.
1655 01:08:44 Hold on!
1656 01:08:59 Gotcha!
1657 01:09:01 Barbara,did you see that?
1658 01:09:02 Batrope saved Alfred.
1659 01:09:04 Sick moves, rope.I never doubted you, bro.
1660 01:09:07 Actually, sir, Ms. Gordon saved him.
1661 01:09:09 Rope! You lied to me!
1662 01:09:11 Wait a minute.You mean, without you,
1663 01:09:14 Alfred would have been
1664 01:09:16 street meat?
1665 01:09:18 Batman, trust us.
1666 01:09:20 We can do this.
1667 01:09:22 Yeah. I know gymkata.
1668 01:09:24 Sorry, what's that?
1669 01:09:25 It's a gymnastics-basedmartial art.
1670 01:09:27 I can punch those'80s monsters off the plane.
1671 01:09:30 Uh... okay.
1672 01:09:31 Multiple bogeys on our six.
1673 01:09:34 Sir, I'll get themoff our back.
1674 01:09:35 I was a tail gunnerfor the royal air force.
1675 01:09:37 Locked and loaded, sir!
1676 01:09:38 Good. Love that!
1677 01:09:40 I got an idea.We're gonna change course.
1678 01:09:41 I want you to fly straightinto that flaming eyeball.
1679 01:09:44 What?Barbara, trust me.
1680 01:09:47 All right.Let's do this.
1681 01:09:57 We got a giantsea monster, 12 o'clock!
1682 01:09:58 Got it.
1683 01:10:01 We've got his attention.He's tracking us.
1684 01:10:08 I've got you now.
1685 01:10:14 Eat dirt!
1686 01:10:16 Bob's your uncle,you ruddy duff cobblers!
1687 01:10:25 Okay, babs, this is it.
1688 01:10:26 Fly us straight into that eye,and wait for my signal.
1689 01:10:28 Can it come now?
1690 01:10:30 Can we makethe signal thing happen?
1691 01:10:31 Almost there.
1692 01:10:32 Almost there!
1693 01:10:34 - Fire!- Almost there!
1694 01:10:37 That fire'scoming in hot!
1695 01:10:38 Hot, hot, hot!
1696 01:10:40 Now! Barbara, dive bomb!
1697 01:10:44 My eye!
1698 01:10:48 Sauron!
1699 01:10:56 Nothing to see.
1700 01:11:04 Whoo-hoo!
1701 01:11:05 Yes! That was so rad!We did it, everyone!
1702 01:11:07 That was so great!Go team!
1703 01:11:10 That was incredible!
1704 01:11:11 I felt so jazzed!
1705 01:11:12 I say "jazzed"!
1706 01:11:14 I gotta give it to you,Batman. That was awesome.
1707 01:11:16 Ha! And you were awesome.Thanks.
1708 01:11:18 And you were awesome.I love compliments!
1709 01:11:19 And you were awesome,and I was amazing.
1710 01:11:21 I'm not trying to makeit about myself, obviously.
1711 01:11:23 But I just wanna make sure
1712 01:11:24 that everyonegets a pat on the back.
1713 01:11:25 Because it feels good.It does feel good.
1714 01:11:27 You had a good idea,you had a good idea,
1715 01:11:29 and you had a good idea,and I had a great idea.
1716 01:11:31 You know what, I think thatcollectively, I'm gonna add...
1717 01:11:35 ...one.
1718 01:11:36 No way!Yes!
1719 01:11:38 Man, that feels good.
1720 01:11:39 Best team ever!
1721 01:11:41 Let's take a photo!
1722 01:11:43 All right, everyone,squeeze together.
1723 01:11:44 Nice and close!I gotta get my pump on.
1724 01:11:46 It's worth it.Okay, everybody in?
1725 01:11:47 These absare no fluke.
1726 01:11:48 Everyone say,"bat family!"
1727 01:11:50 Bat family!
1728 01:11:52 Ooh, let's take a look!
1729 01:11:55 Look at that!
1730 01:11:56 Splendid.Wow.
1731 01:11:58 Didn't it turn out great?
1732 01:12:01 Hey, guys!It's my first family photo!
1733 01:12:33 Hey, bat-dad.Oh!
1734 01:12:34 Whoa. What are you doing?
1735 01:12:36 I'm trying to give youa big, old h-u-g.
1736 01:12:39 Okay, just...
1737 01:12:41 Batman, are you okay?
1738 01:12:44 Yeah, I'm fine.
1739 01:12:46 We are just one big happy
1740 01:12:48 fraternity of people
1741 01:12:50 who didan awesome job together.
1742 01:12:53 I can't thinkof any other way to put that.
1743 01:12:55 Cool.So, guys, listen up!
1744 01:12:58 Taking the projectorfrom the joker
1745 01:12:59 is gonna be our mostdangerous mission yet.
1746 01:13:02 A family battle mission!Right.
1747 01:13:04 Salvage what you canout of the scuttler,
1748 01:13:06 see if you can finda few vitaminwaters
1749 01:13:08 or something,and then we'll head out.
1750 01:13:09 Right away, sir.Anything for you, padre.
1751 01:13:16 I thinkI'll need snowshoes.
1752 01:13:18 Yeah, I don't thinkyou'll need snowshoes,
1753 01:13:20 but could you grabthat flashlight?
1754 01:13:21 Batman? Padre?
1755 01:13:23 Sir?
1756 01:13:24 What are you doing?Hey, Batman.
1757 01:13:27 Please, wait!
1758 01:13:28 'Puter.
1759 01:13:31 Yes, sir?
1760 01:13:32 I'm locking insome coordinates now.
1761 01:13:35 Take the scuttlerto the taco stand
1762 01:13:37 on the border of Gotham cityand bludhaven.
1763 01:13:39 No!
1764 01:13:41 I want you to get these guysa couple of chimichangas
1765 01:13:43 and three jarritos.Sir!
1766 01:13:46 And then keep them thereuntil this whole attack
1767 01:13:49 Padre, please.Don't do this!
1768 01:13:52 Batman, you need us!
1769 01:13:54 How many timesi gotta tell you?
1770 01:13:56 Batman works alone.
1771 01:13:59 No, we haveto stick together.
1772 01:14:02 Please.
1773 01:14:03 Now go on,scuttler. Go!
1774 01:14:06 - Go! Just get outta here.- Batman.
1775 01:14:08 Padre!Get moving!
1776 01:14:09 Please!
1777 01:14:11 Just go.
1778 01:14:13 Batman!Please, wait!
1779 01:14:15 You're doingthe wrong thing!
1780 01:14:17 Listen to me!Don't do this!
1781 01:14:19 No!
1782 01:14:42 - Scanning for intruders.- Scanning for intruders.
1783 01:14:45 Scanning for intruders.
1784 01:14:49 Hi, bats.
1785 01:14:51 What have you done to my...
1786 01:14:52 Bruce Wayne's house?
1787 01:14:54 You'd better hopehe's a cool guy
1788 01:14:56 and doesn't go crazy.
1789 01:14:57 What happenedto all your friends?
1790 01:14:59 I don't need friends.
1791 01:15:00 I don't need anyoneto stop you.
1792 01:15:04 Are you sureabout that?
1793 01:15:06 Look in the mirror, Batman.
1794 01:15:09 When I saw you workingwith your friend-family,
1795 01:15:13 I actually thoughtyou'd changed.
1796 01:15:15 But, no.
1797 01:15:16 You pushed them away.
1798 01:15:21 You've run away from everyother person in your life.
1799 01:15:24 But I'm the oneyou're always chasing.
1800 01:15:27 Is this about that stupid"greatest enemy" thing?
1801 01:15:29 No, it's not.
1802 01:15:32 Not anymore.
1803 01:15:33 You tell him, joker!
1804 01:15:35 It's timefor a fresh start.
1805 01:15:36 He's not worth it.
1806 01:15:38 I think after 78 years,i deserve respect!
1807 01:15:41 That is right. Respect!
1808 01:15:44 Do you realizethat you have never once
1809 01:15:48 said the words,
1810 01:15:50 "i hate you, joker"?
1811 01:15:51 Not once.
1812 01:15:52 Well, I amstarting to feel
1813 01:15:54 pretty annoyedwith you right now.
1814 01:15:56 That's for darn sure.
1815 01:15:57 Annoyed isnot the same thing!
1816 01:16:00 Listen, Batman.
1817 01:16:02 I...
1818 01:16:04 Hate you.
1819 01:16:06 Aww!That's nice.
1820 01:16:08 Now you say it.
1821 01:16:12 Me, too.
1822 01:16:16 You won't.You won't change.
1823 01:16:19 'Cause you can't.You won't, and you can't.
1824 01:16:22 Batmanwill never change.
1825 01:16:24 You know what, boo-boo?Just shut it down.
1826 01:16:26 These diseased lunaticsare right.
1827 01:16:28 Yes, we are!
1828 01:16:29 I am not gonna be part
1829 01:16:32 of a one-sided relationshipany longer!
1830 01:16:34 Yes!What are you talking about?
1831 01:16:36 You and I are done!What is wrong with you?
1832 01:16:38 I'm moving on!
1833 01:16:39 That's ridiculous.
1834 01:16:40 And on my way out,
1835 01:16:42 I'm gonna blow up Gotham city!
1836 01:16:45 No. You're not serious.
1837 01:16:47 Wingardium leviosa!No!
1838 01:16:50 You know what? For once,Batman, you're right.
1839 01:16:52 I'm not your greatest enemy.
1840 01:16:55 Your greatest enemy
1841 01:16:57 is you.
1842 01:16:59 Goodbye, Batman.Wait a minute. Hold on
1843 01:17:01 Good for you, boo-boo!
1844 01:17:02 Yay!
1845 01:17:04 Everybody, get a bomb.Let's go.
1846 01:17:05 Bomb, bomb, bomb.Let's bomb it out.
1847 01:17:07 Yay!
1848 01:17:11 Say goodbye,Gotham city!
1849 01:17:25 Whoa.Hi!
1850 01:17:26 Whoa!
1851 01:17:28 Oh, I am so sorry.
1852 01:17:30 It was all my fault,i keep doing that.
1853 01:17:31 Welcome tothe phantom zone, bad guy.
1854 01:17:33 What are you talking about?
1855 01:17:35 I'm not a bad guy.
1856 01:17:36 But you're all in black.You have a cape.
1857 01:17:38 And you weara big, scary mask.
1858 01:17:39 Well, I'm not.
1859 01:17:40 And you kicked mein the face.
1860 01:17:42 Listen, I'm Batman.
1861 01:17:44 Oof! You evensound like a bad guy.
1862 01:17:46 I swear,i am a good guy.
1863 01:17:48 Okay, Mr. Batman.
1864 01:17:50 Hold stillwhile I scan you.
1865 01:17:52 Scanning for badness.
1866 01:17:54 Yes, sir?
1867 01:17:55 You're super nimble, right?
1868 01:17:57 And 110% expendable?
1869 01:17:59 I don't know what that means, but okay.
1870 01:18:01 How'd I do, dad? Mediocre.
1871 01:18:02 Yes! And don't call me dad.
1872 01:18:04 Sorry.
1873 01:18:07 Alfred, put that kid
1874 01:18:08 on the next jet to the orphanage.
1875 01:18:10 But doesn't he deserve a chance
1876 01:18:12 for someone to take him under their wing,
1877 01:18:15 as I took you under mine?
1878 01:18:18 Listen, you don't have a family.
1879 01:18:20 So what do you know about having a surrogate son?
1880 01:18:26 Batman!
1881 01:18:28 We have to stick together.
1882 01:18:31 Please.
1883 01:18:34 Joker, you mean nothing to me.
1884 01:18:40 No one does.
1885 01:18:45 Huh.
1886 01:18:46 You're nota traditional bad guy.
1887 01:18:49 But you're not exactlya good guy, either.
1888 01:18:52 - Batman?- Padre?
1889 01:18:53 You evenabandoned your friends.
1890 01:18:55 What? Go on, scuttler. Go.
1891 01:18:58 Batman, no. No! Don't do this!
1892 01:19:00 Abandoned? No.
1893 01:19:01 No, I was tryingto protect them.
1894 01:19:03 Bypushing them away?
1895 01:19:05 Well, yeah.
1896 01:19:07 Are they really the onesyou're protecting?
1897 01:19:13 Computer, Batman's in danger.
1898 01:19:15 Please, computer, take us back!
1899 01:19:17 Do you really want the man who made you to come to harm?
1900 01:19:19 Batman programmed me to obey him.
1901 01:19:21 But he didn't say to not not rescue him.
1902 01:19:24 What are they doing?
1903 01:19:26 Come on, guys. Let's hustle. Gotham city's not
1904 01:19:30 Well, hello!
1905 01:19:37 'Puter, go to super-secret stealth mode.
1906 01:19:42 Hold on!No!
1907 01:19:44 Evil buddies, those are my last three
1908 01:19:46 painful reminders of Batman.
1909 01:19:48 Run!
1910 01:19:50 Come on, Alfred. This way.
1911 01:19:51 Wait, where's dick?
1912 01:19:52 The little guy?He's over there.
1913 01:19:54 Initializing batcave operating system.
1914 01:19:56 What's he doing?
1915 01:19:57 I've gotta save my family! Just think.
1916 01:19:59 What would Batman do?
1917 01:20:01 What?
1918 01:20:02 I know. Not listen to anyone else.
1919 01:20:04 Be mean to people.
1920 01:20:05 Destroy as much property as possible.
1921 01:20:07 Talk in a really low, gravelly voice.
1922 01:20:09 And go it alone.
1923 01:20:11 Kid, don't do that.
1924 01:20:12 Atomic batteries to power.
1925 01:20:13 Turbines to speed.
1926 01:20:14 Don't dowhat I would do!
1927 01:20:16 I never even taught youhow to drive!
1928 01:20:17 Hold on a second,brick lady.
1929 01:20:19 I'm so sorry.I need to get down there
1930 01:20:22 I can't let you go.
1931 01:20:23 My boss will bereally mad at me.
1932 01:20:24 Yeah. But I betyour boss would be happy
1933 01:20:26 if you were able to get allthose bad guys back in here.
1934 01:20:28 Hmm. She sure would.
1935 01:20:30 Then let me try.
1936 01:20:31 Let me get down thereand help them.
1937 01:20:32 But haven't youtried that before?
1938 01:20:36 This way, Alfred.
1939 01:20:39 You do the same thingover and over.
1940 01:20:45 What's gonna change?
1941 01:20:47 No!
1942 01:20:50 I know what I need to do.
1943 01:20:52 Just give me 24 hours,and I'll come back.
1944 01:20:56 Whoa!
1945 01:20:57 You've gotta let me godown there and save them.
1946 01:21:01 I'll do whatever you want.
1947 01:21:03 Please.
1948 01:21:04 Exterminate!
1949 01:21:06 Please.
1950 01:21:07 Okay, but I needall the bad guys
1951 01:21:09 I promise.
1952 01:21:13 And I mean all of them.
1953 01:21:16 One of these buttonshas to save my friends.
1954 01:21:19 Self-destruct mode activated.
1955 01:21:20 Self what?
1956 01:21:22 Master dick!No!
1957 01:21:26 Dick!
1958 01:21:28 Look who's bat!
1959 01:21:32 What?
1960 01:21:41 Everyone okay?Dick, Alfred, Barbara.
1961 01:21:44 Are you guys...We're fine, Batman.
1962 01:21:49 Listen,i just wanted to say
1963 01:21:55 that I'm really
1964 01:21:58 really, really
1965 01:22:02 really, really, really
1966 01:22:03 really, really
1967 01:22:06 s-s-s...
1968 01:22:11 Soooo...
1969 01:22:15 Sorry?
1970 01:22:16 Yeah. Whoo! I did it!
1971 01:22:21 I don't even know whyyou bothered coming back.
1972 01:22:26 I was
1973 01:22:29 afraid.
1974 01:22:31 What?
1975 01:22:34 The reason I came back
1976 01:22:36 was the same reasoni left you.
1977 01:22:41 I was afraid
1978 01:22:44 of feeling
1979 01:22:47 the pain you feel
1980 01:22:51 when you lose
1981 01:22:54 someone close to you.
1982 01:23:04 Gotham needs us.
1983 01:23:07 So I came backto do this.
1984 01:23:11 Flip.
1985 01:23:13 Flip? What is that?I don't...
1986 01:23:15 You gotta turn around.
1987 01:23:19 I call itthe babs-signal.
1988 01:23:22 And I'm flippingthe switch for you.
1989 01:23:24 Because saving this city
1990 01:23:26 is too big a jobfor one person.
1991 01:23:29 Flip, flip.
1992 01:23:35 So, what do you say,commish?
1993 01:23:37 Will you work with me?
1994 01:23:41 I need your help.
1995 01:23:44 I thought you'd never ask.
1996 01:23:47 I'm very,very proud of you, sir.
1997 01:23:50 But there's stillonly four of us
1998 01:23:52 against joker's entire army.
1999 01:23:54 That's why I called insome backup.
2000 01:23:56 Flip! Flip! Flip! Flip!
2001 01:24:00 Whoa!
2002 01:24:01 We saw your signal,and we came to help.
2003 01:24:03 Joker may be done with us,but we're not done with him.
2004 01:24:06 We will bethe joker's reckoning.
2005 01:24:09 Joker said mean stuff to us.
2006 01:24:11 You were right, Barbara.
2007 01:24:13 It takes a village.Not a Batman.
2008 01:24:18 Okay. Everybody,listen up.
2009 01:24:20 These monsters want to destroy Gotham city.
2010 01:24:24 That's right. We need sick new vehicles.
2011 01:24:26 An arsenal of advanced weaponry.
2012 01:24:28 Costumes that suitour individual personalities.
2013 01:24:31 Rip!
2014 01:24:33 And code names to useon our walkie-talkies.
2015 01:24:35 Call it out!
2016 01:24:36 Your name is lady bat.
2017 01:24:37 - Lady bat?- Bat lady.
2018 01:24:38 - Veto!- El batarina.
2019 01:24:40 - Nope. What?- Soccer mom... bat?
2020 01:24:42 How abouta cool costume?
2021 01:24:43 Nice!
2022 01:24:44 That one's called batgirl.
2023 01:24:46 If you call me batgirl,can I call you batboy?
2024 01:24:48 And lastly,a coordinated
2025 01:24:51 and a kick-butt theme song!
2026 01:24:53 Robin?
2027 01:24:54 My superhero code name.
2028 01:24:56 Oh, yeah. Hit it!
2029 01:24:58 Got it!
2030 01:25:01 No!
2031 01:25:06 Absolutely not.
2032 01:25:10 This music is filling mewith rage.
2033 01:25:14 Let's use it!
2034 01:25:16 All right, team.I'm going to need
2035 01:25:19 I'm a giant Clay person!
2036 01:25:20 I'm irritating.I have a sack for a face.
2037 01:25:22 I makeunpredictable decisions.
2038 01:25:23 I raise the stakes!
2039 01:25:24 I can squirt ketchup!
2040 01:25:26 Nice! Orca.
2041 01:25:27 I'm a whale!
2042 01:25:29 Oh, we got this covered!
2043 01:25:31 Go team!
2044 01:25:34 Whale, yeah!
2045 01:25:39 Shh. Quiet.
2046 01:25:40 Who's laying downthose funky beats?
2047 01:25:43 - We are!- Meow, meow!
2048 01:25:45 Batman?
2049 01:25:47 Evil army,get rid of them!
2050 01:25:49 Team Gotham family,
2051 01:25:51 activate!
2052 01:25:52 Voldy's got this.
2053 01:25:56 Here we go!
2054 01:25:58 Yeah!
2055 01:26:00 Bombarda!
2056 01:26:03 Smash! Smash! Smash!
2057 01:26:07 Whoa.
2058 01:26:08 Batman, take outjoker's bomb.
2059 01:26:10 I'll get that projector!
2060 01:26:12 10-4, co-go.
2061 01:26:14 Freeze, clayface,take this guy out!
2062 01:26:17 Coming through!
2063 01:26:23 Okay, Alfred,bring the pain.
2064 01:26:26 Bringing it, sir.For queen and country!
2065 01:26:31 You just got union jacked!
2066 01:26:35 Robin, get ready.
2067 01:26:37 I'm about to teach yousome father-and-son stuff.
2068 01:26:39 First, driving.
2069 01:26:41 Put your handsat 10 and 2.
2070 01:26:43 Now, fly! Turn left!
2071 01:26:46 Run over these skeletons.
2072 01:26:48 Now drive up the wall!
2073 01:26:51 Great driving.Thanks, padre.
2074 01:26:54 Yeah!
2075 01:26:56 Okay, Robin.
2076 01:26:58 Together, we're gonnapunch these guys so hard,
2077 01:27:00 words describing the impact
2078 01:27:01 are gonna spontaneouslymaterialize out of thin air.
2079 01:27:04 Yeah!
2080 01:27:11 Yes! Yes! Yes!
2081 01:27:16 High five!
2082 01:27:17 Stop moving around,you Muggles.
2083 01:27:19 All right, team,let's shut him down.
2084 01:27:22 - Orca!- You're up, baby!
2085 01:27:25 You wanna seea magic trick?
2086 01:27:27 I'm gonnamake you disappear.
2087 01:27:29 Wingardium levio...
2088 01:27:30 Me-yoink!
2089 01:27:32 Wingardium levio...Shut up!
2090 01:27:34 No!
2091 01:27:35 Welcome to the phantom zone,bad guy!
2092 01:27:37 Fudgecake!
2093 01:27:39 Whoo!Here we go, bat team!
2094 01:27:40 Batman, think fast!
2095 01:27:45 Welcome to the phantom zone,bad guy!
2096 01:27:47 Robin, go long.
2097 01:27:48 Nice grab.Yeah!
2098 01:27:52 Oh, my gosh.Yes!
2099 01:27:54 Here you go, grandpa.
2100 01:27:57 Hey, Batman!
2101 01:28:01 Get off my padre!
2102 01:28:05 It wasn'tuseless after all.
2103 01:28:06 End this, batgirl!
2104 01:28:11 Adios, shark.
2105 01:28:14 Okay, brb, guys.I'm gonna go defuse that...
2106 01:28:30 This is the endof Gotham city!
2107 01:28:33 As I predicted, we're doomed!
2108 01:28:37 We're not doomed.I got this.
2109 01:28:40 Everyone,grab on to me.
2110 01:28:41 Gotcha.
2111 01:28:43 Come on, guys.
2112 01:28:44 We need tohold this city together.
2113 01:28:48 Batrope, no!
2114 01:28:49 Everybody, run!
2115 01:28:51 No! We haveto stick together.
2116 01:28:53 Right, Batman?
2117 01:28:54 We need to use our heads!
2118 01:28:56 Maybe we should buildsomething together.
2119 01:28:58 Heads. Stick together.
2120 01:28:59 Build something. Together.
2121 01:29:01 Build. Together. Together.
2122 01:29:03 We should build something together.
2123 01:29:06 I got it.
2124 01:29:08 You're right, babs.We need to stick together.
2125 01:29:10 Literally.
2126 01:29:12 Robin, quick.Give me a boost.
2127 01:29:13 On it, padre.
2128 01:29:15 We're gonna stick together,using our heads,
2129 01:29:16 and the most powerful weaponof all...
2130 01:29:19 Shredded abs.Let's do this.
2131 01:29:22 - Meow, meow.- Yeah, let's do this.
2132 01:29:23 Ready?Here we go.
2133 01:29:24 You got this, Alfred?
2134 01:29:26 Yes, sir. Abs of steel.
2135 01:29:28 Great!Now you bend,
2136 01:29:30 and I'll grabthe other side!
2137 01:29:33 No!
2138 01:29:34 - Batman, what's going on?- Are you okay?
2139 01:29:36 I've got you.
2140 01:29:40 Joker!
2141 01:29:41 Please, help us!
2142 01:29:43 No! I'mnot gonna help you.
2143 01:29:45 At least if this cityis destroyed,
2144 01:29:48 I'll die knowing
2145 01:29:49 I'm your greatest enemy!
2146 01:29:51 I'm gonna have to dieto know it.
2147 01:29:53 Shut up, joker!If there's no Gotham,
2148 01:29:57 then I'll never getto fight you again.
2149 01:30:00 What?
2150 01:30:02 You're the reason why I get upat 4:00 in the afternoon,
2151 01:30:05 and pump iron until my chestis positively sick.
2152 01:30:07 You're the reasonI've given up
2153 01:30:09 a life spentwith Russian ballerinas
2154 01:30:11 and lady activewear models.
2155 01:30:13 And if it wasn't for you,
2156 01:30:14 I never would have learnedhow connected I am
2157 01:30:16 with all these people.
2158 01:30:19 And you.
2159 01:30:22 So if youhelp me save Gotham,
2160 01:30:26 you'll help me save us.
2161 01:30:29 You just said "us."
2162 01:30:32 Yeah. Batmanand the joker.
2163 01:30:37 What do you say?
2164 01:30:40 You had me at shut up.
2165 01:30:44 How are your abs, bro?
2166 01:30:45 Too much flab, not enough ab.Why?
2167 01:30:49 Because I need youto crunch them.
2168 01:30:51 Citizens of Gotham,
2169 01:30:52 we need all of you to join us
2170 01:30:55 and help bring this cityback together.
2171 01:31:23 I'm just gonnacome right out and say it.
2172 01:31:26 I hate you, joker.
2173 01:31:28 I hate you, too.I hate you more.
2174 01:31:30 I hate you the most.
2175 01:31:32 I hate you forever.
2176 01:31:35 Splendid!
2177 01:31:37 We did it, everyone!
2178 01:31:43 Bane is feelingwarm and fuzzy.
2179 01:31:51 Padre,
2180 01:31:52 where are you going?
2181 01:31:55 I made a promise.
2182 01:31:56 I gotta go backto the phantom zone.
2183 01:31:59 Sorry, kid.
2184 01:32:01 Padre, please.
2185 01:32:03 Don't call me padre.
2186 01:32:05 Okay.
2187 01:32:07 Call me...
2188 01:32:12 Dads.
2189 01:32:14 My two dadsare the same dad.
2190 01:32:19 But they're both leaving.
2191 01:32:22 It's gonna be okay, kid.
2192 01:32:26 Sometimes,losing people is part of life.
2193 01:32:29 But that doesn't meanyou stop letting them in.
2194 01:32:33 Some very wise peopletaught me that.
2195 01:32:36 My father figure.
2196 01:32:40 My platoniccoworker buddy,
2197 01:32:42 who's a girl,but just a friend.
2198 01:32:46 And you. Mi hijo.
2199 01:32:50 It's Spanish
2200 01:32:53 for "son."
2201 01:32:56 This is my family,
2202 01:32:59 but it's your family, too.
2203 01:34:05 Do you have a knife?
2204 01:34:07 Why?
2205 01:34:08 'Cause someoneneeds to cut the tension
2206 01:34:10 between the two of usimmediately.
2207 01:34:13 Okay. I deserved that.
2208 01:34:14 Hi.Wait a minute.
2209 01:34:16 What's going on?
2210 01:34:17 I came back,just like I said I would.
2211 01:34:20 You know,Mr. Batman,
2212 01:34:22 when you're a talking brick,working at the phantom zone,
2213 01:34:24 you see a lotof crazy things.
2214 01:34:27 But I've finallyseen a man,
2215 01:34:29 in order to make the worlda better place,
2216 01:34:31 take a look at himselfand make a change.
2217 01:34:35 Who?
2218 01:34:36 Superman.
2219 01:34:37 What?I'm kidding. It's you.
2220 01:34:43 Well, I guessI'll be seeing you
2221 01:34:45 I guess so.Catch you later, joker.
2222 01:34:48 Let's go, gang.
2223 01:34:50 Wait a minute,we're not just gonna
2224 01:34:53 Ah, come on, commish.Let's face it.
2225 01:34:54 Those guys are no matchfor the four of us.
2226 01:34:56 We'll give thema 30-minute head start.
2227 01:34:58 Besides, you can't fight crimeon an empty stomach.
2228 01:35:04 Hey, computer?
2229 01:35:05 We're home!
2230 01:35:10 What is the password?
2231 01:35:11 Iron man sucks!
2232 01:35:25 When dadand me were fighting,
2233 01:35:26 I was giving themmy best one-liners.
2234 01:35:29 You
2235 01:35:32 complete me.
2236 01:35:47 Holy family photo, Batman.I love it!
2237 01:35:57 White.
2238 01:35:58 All important movies end with a white screen.
2239 01:36:03 And tying up loose ends.
2240 01:36:05 We're coming for you,Gotham city!
2241 01:36:07 Like this snake clowns bit.
2242 01:36:09 Snake clowns?
2243 01:36:10 Told you they were real.
2244 01:36:12 Did you stick wigs onto snakes?
2245 01:36:14 - Maybe.- That is so weird.
2246 01:36:16 Can I play that song I wrote for the end credits?
2247 01:36:17 That is a hard pass.
2248 01:36:18 - Come on.- No!
2249 01:36:20 Let the kid play whatever music he wants.
2250 01:36:22 - No, no, no!- Please?
2251 01:36:23 - No.- Padre?
2252 01:36:24 Fine. 'Puter.
2253 01:36:26 Okay, sir.
2254 01:36:27 Yay!
2255 01:36:29 Now playing Robin's happy, poppy music.
2256 01:36:31 The kind that makes parents and studio executives happy.
2257 01:36:58 Come on, everyone!
2258 01:37:19 Come on, Batman!No!
2259 01:38:47 Wow, that was fun!
2260 01:38:50 Really hopenobody was recording that.
2261 01:38:53 Let me see.Oh, this thing is on.
2262 01:38:54 This thing is recording.