蜘蛛侠：英雄归来 (Spider-Man: Homecoming)(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:00:37 Things are never gonna be the same now.
2 00:00:41 I mean, look at this.
3 00:00:43 You got aliens.
4 00:00:45 You got big green guys tearing down buildings.
5 00:00:48 When I was a kid, I used to draw cowboys and Indians.
6 00:00:51 Actually, it's native American, but whatever.
7 00:00:56 Yeah. Tell you what, though.
8 00:00:59 It ain't bad, is it?
9 00:01:02 No. Yeah.
10 00:01:03 Kid's got a future.
11 00:01:05 Yeah, well,
12 00:01:08 we'll see, I guess.
13 00:01:34 No, hey! Ah!
14 00:01:36 You can't saw through that stuff.
15 00:01:38 These alien bastards are tough.
16 00:01:40 You gotta use the stuff they use.
17 00:01:45 See? All right. All right.
18 00:01:50 Oh, hey!
19 00:01:52 Glad you could join us. Afternoon.
20 00:01:53 Yeah. My alarm didn't go off. Yeah, your alarm.
21 00:01:56 Look, just go stack that armor plating like I asked you.
22 00:01:59 This is a huge deal for us.
23 00:02:01 Attention, please!
24 00:02:02 In accordance with executive order 396b,
25 00:02:05 all post-battle cleanup operations
26 00:02:07 are now under our jurisdiction.
27 00:02:09 Thank you for your service. We'll take it from here.
28 00:02:12 Who the hell are you?
29 00:02:13 Qualified personnel.
30 00:02:14 Look, I have a city contract
31 00:02:17 to salvage all this, okay, with the city, so--
32 00:02:19 I apologize, Mr. toomes, but all salvage operations
33 00:02:22 are now under our jurisdiction.
34 00:02:23 Please turn over any and all exotic materials
35 00:02:26 that you've collected or you will be prosecuted.
36 00:02:29 Ma'am, what am--?
37 00:02:31 Please. Come here. Hey, lady, come on.
38 00:02:34 Look...
39 00:02:36 I bought trucks for this job.
40 00:02:38 I brought in a whole new crew.
41 00:02:40 These guys have a family. I have a family.
42 00:02:42 I'm all in on this. I could lose my house.
43 00:02:45 I'm sorry, sir. There's nothing I can do.
44 00:02:48 Maybe next time, don't overextend yourself.
45 00:02:53 What'd you say?
46 00:02:56 Yeah.
47 00:02:57 He's right. I overextended myself.
48 00:03:00 - Hey, hey, hey. - Don't do it.
49 00:03:02 Ah-ah-ah-ah. Put 'em down.
50 00:03:07 If you have a grievance,
51 00:03:09 you may take it up with my superiors.
52 00:03:11 Your superiors. Who the hell are they?
53 00:03:13 A joint venture between stark industries
54 00:03:16 and the federal government, the department
55 00:03:17 of damage control, will oversee the collection
56 00:03:19 and storage of alien and other exotic materials.
57 00:03:22 Now the assholes who made this mess are paid to clean it up.
58 00:03:26 Yeah, it's all rigged.
59 00:03:27 Experts estimate there are
60 00:03:28 over 1500 tons of exotic material
61 00:03:30 scattered throughout the tri-state area.
62 00:03:33 Hey, chief!
63 00:03:34 We still have another load from yesterday.
64 00:03:36 We're supposed to turn this in, right?
65 00:03:38 I ain't hauling it. It's too bad.
66 00:03:40 We could have made some cool stuff from all that alien junk.
67 00:03:47 I tell you what.
68 00:03:49 Let's keep it.
69 00:03:52 The world's changing.
70 00:03:57 It's time we change too.
71 00:04:45 There you go, Mason.
72 00:04:51 Yeah!
73 00:04:52 Business is good.
74 00:05:32 - New York. Queens. - It's a rough borough,
75 00:05:36 - but, hey, it's home. - Who you talking to?
76 00:05:38 No one. Just making a little video of the trip.
77 00:05:41 - You can't show it to anyone. - Yeah, I know.
78 00:05:44 Then why are you narrating in that voice?
79 00:05:46 Uh, because it's fun. Fun.
80 00:05:49 So why do they call you happy?
81 00:05:53 Come on. I'm not carrying your bags. Let's go.
82 00:05:56 Hey, should I go to the bathroom before?
83 00:05:59 There's a bathroom on it.
84 00:06:00 Whoa. No pilot? That's awesome.
85 00:06:03 Is that where you're gonna sit? Yeah.
86 00:06:05 This is your first time on a private plane?
87 00:06:07 My first time on any plane.
88 00:06:09 Should it--? Should it be--? Should it be making that noise?
89 00:06:13 Shh, shh, shh.
90 00:06:21 No one has actually told me
91 00:06:22 why I'm in Berlin or what I'm doing.
92 00:06:25 Something about captain America going crazy.
93 00:06:28 - This is you. - Oh, we're neighbors?
94 00:06:30 We're not roommates. Suit up.
95 00:06:33 Okay, Peter, you got this.
96 00:06:34 What the hell are you wearing?
97 00:06:36 It's my suit.
98 00:06:37 Where's the case? What case?
99 00:06:39 What? I thought that was a closet.
100 00:06:41 - This is still my room? - Go. Please.
101 00:06:43 My room is way bigger than-- there.
102 00:06:44 - I found the case. - I found the case.
103 00:06:47 "A minor upgrade"?
104 00:06:50 Whoa.
105 00:06:51 Oh, my god.
106 00:06:52 Put it on. What the--?
107 00:06:54 This is the coolest thing I've ever seen--
108 00:06:56 let's go. But I don't understand.
109 00:06:58 Is it for me? Happy. Happy, wait.
110 00:07:02 This is insane. Insane.
111 00:07:03 Look at this thing. Look. Look at the eyes.
112 00:07:06 The greatest day of my life. Let's go. Come on.
113 00:07:08 - Okay, there's captain America, - iron man, black widow.
114 00:07:11 - Whoa. Who's that new guy? - Underoos!
115 00:07:14 Oh, that's me. I gotta go. I gotta go.
116 00:07:18 Hey, everyone.
117 00:07:20 Okay, so the craziest thing just happened.
118 00:07:22 I just had a fight with captain America.
119 00:07:24 I stole his shield. I threw it at him--
120 00:07:25 what the hell? He's big now. I gotta go. Hang on.
121 00:07:32 It was the most amazing thing!
122 00:07:33 Mr. stark was like, "hey, underoos!"
123 00:07:35 I flipped in and stole cap's shield.
124 00:07:37 I was like, "what's up, everybody?"
125 00:07:39 And then-- hey, just a second!
126 00:07:41 Coming!
127 00:07:43 Hey.
128 00:07:45 We have thin walls here.
129 00:07:47 What are you doing, a little video diary?
130 00:07:50 - Yeah. - It's all right.
131 00:07:52 - I'd do the same thing. - I told him not to.
132 00:07:54 He was filming. I'm gonna wipe the chip.
133 00:07:56 Okay. Hey. You know what?
134 00:07:58 We should make an alibi video
135 00:07:59 for your aunt anyway. You ready?
136 00:08:01 An alibi? Sure. Okay. We rolling? Get in the frame.
137 00:08:04 Hey, may. How you doing?
138 00:08:05 What are you wearing? Something skimpy, I hope.
139 00:08:08 Peter, that's inappropriate.
140 00:08:10 Let's start over. You can edit it.
141 00:08:12 Three, two, one. Hey, may.
142 00:08:13 My gosh, I wanted to tell you
143 00:08:16 what an incredible job your nephew did
144 00:08:19 this weekend at the stark internship retreat.
145 00:08:23 Everyone was impressed.
146 00:08:25 - Come on! - It's a freaking merge. Sorry.
147 00:08:27 Because you're not on queens boulevard.
148 00:08:29 See, happy is hoping
149 00:08:31 to get bumped up to asset management.
150 00:08:32 He was forehead of security, before that he was a driver.
151 00:08:35 That was a private conversation.
152 00:08:36 I don't like joking about this. It was hard to talk about that.
153 00:08:39 No, seriously, was he snoring a bunch?
154 00:08:41 - Here we are. End of the line. - Whoops.
155 00:08:45 Can you give us a moment? Want me to leave the car?
156 00:08:47 Grab Peter's case out of the trunk.
157 00:08:51 I can keep the suit?
158 00:08:53 Yes, we were just talking about it.
159 00:08:56 Do me a favor, though.
160 00:08:57 Happy's kind of your point guy on this.
161 00:08:59 Don't stress him out. Don't do anything stupid.
162 00:09:01 I've seen his cardiogram.
163 00:09:04 All right? Yes.
164 00:09:05 Don't do anything I would do,
165 00:09:06 and don't do anything i wouldn't do.
166 00:09:08 There's a little gray area in there. Where you operate.
167 00:09:11 Wait, does that mean I'm an avenger?
168 00:09:13 No.
169 00:09:15 - This it? - Seventh floor.
170 00:09:16 I can take that. You don't have to.
171 00:09:18 You'll take it? Yeah, I can take that.
172 00:09:21 Thank you.
173 00:09:23 So when's our next--?
174 00:09:24 When's our next "retreat," you know?
175 00:09:26 What, next mission?
176 00:09:27 Yeah, the mission. The missions.
177 00:09:28 We'll call you. Do you have my numbers?
178 00:09:31 No, I mean, we'll call you.
179 00:09:32 Like, someone will call you. All right?
180 00:09:34 From your team. Okay. All right.
181 00:09:36 That's not a hug. I'm just grabbing
182 00:09:38 the door for you. We're not there yet.
183 00:09:43 Bye.
184 00:09:49 They're gonna call me.
185 00:10:41 What's up, penis Parker?
186 00:10:45 Rise and shine, midtown science and technology.
187 00:10:47 Students, don't forget about your homecoming tickets.
188 00:10:50 Do you have a date for homecoming?
189 00:10:52 Thanks, Jason, but I already have a date.
190 00:10:54 Okay. Yeah.
191 00:11:02 Damn it. You, in my office right now.
192 00:11:25 Join me, and together
193 00:11:27 we'll build my new lego death star.
194 00:11:30 - What? - So lame.
195 00:11:32 No way. That's awesome. How many pieces?
196 00:11:34 Three thousand eight hundred and three.
197 00:11:36 That's insane. I know.
198 00:11:38 You want to build it tonight?
199 00:11:39 No, I can't tonight. I've got the stark--
200 00:11:41 mm-hm. Stark internship. Yeah, exactly.
201 00:11:44 Always got that internship.
202 00:11:45 Yeah, well, hopefully,
203 00:11:46 soon it'll lead to a real job with them.
204 00:11:48 That would be so sweet. Right?
205 00:11:49 He'd be all, "good job on those spreadsheets, Peter.
206 00:11:52 Here's a gold coin."
207 00:11:54 I don't know how jobs work. That's exactly how they work.
208 00:11:57 I'll knock out the basic bones of the death star at my place.
209 00:12:01 I'll come by afterwards.
210 00:12:02 For the most part, the difficult thing is the base of it.
211 00:12:04 The top half we can knock out in two hours, tops.
212 00:12:09 That'd be great.
213 00:12:11 I'm gonna be late!
214 00:12:13 Okay, so how do we calculate
215 00:12:14 linear acceleration between points a and b?
216 00:12:19 Flash.
217 00:12:20 It's the product of sine of the angle
218 00:12:22 and gravity divided by the mass.
219 00:12:23 Nope. Peter.
220 00:12:26 You still with us?
221 00:12:27 Uh, uh, yeah, yeah.
222 00:12:30 Uh...
223 00:12:31 Mass cancels out, so it's just gravity times sine.
224 00:12:34 Right. See, flash, being the fastest
225 00:12:36 isn't always the best if you are wrong.
226 00:12:38 You're dead.
227 00:12:43 Today we're talking about Danish physicist niels bohr,
228 00:12:48 but trust me, there's nothing bohr-ing
229 00:12:51 about his discoveries regarding quantum theory.
230 00:13:05 - Did Liz get a new top? - No.
231 00:13:06 We've seen that before, but never with that skirt.
232 00:13:10 - Liz, hey. That looks so good. - Hi!
233 00:13:13 We should probably stop staring before it gets creepy.
234 00:13:16 Too late. You guys are losers.
235 00:13:19 Well, then why do you sit with us?
236 00:13:22 Because I don't have any friends.
237 00:13:26 Let's move to the next question.
238 00:13:27 What is the heaviest naturally-occurring element?
239 00:13:30 Hydrogen's the lightest.
240 00:13:32 That's not the question. Okay. Yeah.
241 00:13:35 Uranium.
242 00:13:36 That is correct. Thank you, Abraham.
243 00:13:37 Yes. Open your books to page 10.
244 00:13:40 Peter, it's nationals.
245 00:13:42 Is there no way you could take one weekend off?
246 00:13:44 I can't go to Washington. If Mr. stark needs me,
247 00:13:47 I have to make sure I'm here.
248 00:13:48 You've never been in the same room as Tony stark.
249 00:13:51 Wait. What's happening?
250 00:13:52 Peter's not going to Washington.
251 00:13:54 No. No, no, no. Why not?
252 00:13:57 Really? Right before nationals?
253 00:13:58 He already quit marching band and robotics lab.
254 00:14:02 I'm not obsessed with him. Just very observant.
255 00:14:05 Flash, you're in for Peter.
256 00:14:07 - I don't know. - I gotta check my calendar first.
257 00:14:09 I got a hot date with black widow coming up.
258 00:14:12 That is false.
259 00:14:13 What'd I tell you about using the bell for comedic purposes?
260 00:14:34 Hey, what's up? Hey, man.
261 00:14:38 What's up, Mr. delmar?
262 00:14:40 Hey, Mr. Parker.
263 00:14:41 Number five, right?
264 00:14:43 Yeah, and with pickles,
265 00:14:44 and can you smush it down real flat? Thanks.
266 00:14:46 You got it, boss.
267 00:14:48 How's your aunt?
268 00:14:49 Yeah, she's all right.
269 00:14:59 Ten dollars. It's $5.
270 00:15:02 For that comment, $10.
271 00:15:03 Hey, come on. I'm joking. I'm joking.
272 00:15:07 Here's $5.
273 00:15:08 What's up, murph?
274 00:15:11 How you doing, buddy?
275 00:15:14 So how's school?
276 00:15:16 Ah, you know. It's boring. Got better things to do.
277 00:15:18 Stay in school, kid. Stay in school.
278 00:15:20 Otherwise, you're gonna end up like me.
279 00:15:22 This is great. Best sandwiches in queens.
280 00:16:35 Finally.
281 00:16:38 - Excuse me. - What's the matter with you?
282 00:16:42 Could you hold this for a second? Thanks.
283 00:16:46 Hey, is this anybody's bike? No?
284 00:16:49 - Hey, buddy, is this your bike? - I have no change.
285 00:16:52 Does anyone have a pen? Do you have a pen?
286 00:16:59 Everybody good?
287 00:17:06 Hey!
288 00:17:07 You're that spider guy on YouTube, right?
289 00:17:10 Call me spider-man!
290 00:17:12 Okay, spider-man. Do a flip.
291 00:17:15 Yeah! Not bad.
292 00:17:30 Hey, buddy.
293 00:17:33 Shouldn't steal cars, it's bad. It's my car, dumbass!
294 00:17:36 Hey! Shut that off!
295 00:17:37 Can you tell him it's my car? I was just--
296 00:17:39 yo! I work at nights. Come on. That's not your car!
297 00:17:43 That's his car. How was I supposed to know?
298 00:17:44 He put that in the window! Every day with these alarms!
299 00:17:47 Turn it off! Don't make me come down there.
300 00:17:51 Hey, Gary! How you doing?
301 00:17:53 Marjorie, how are you? How's your mother?
302 00:18:02 I'm good, I'm good.
303 00:18:03 You have reached the voicemail box of:
304 00:18:07 Happy hogan.
305 00:18:08 - Hey, happy. - Here's my report for tonight.
306 00:18:11 I stopped a grand theft bicycle.
307 00:18:12 Couldn't find the owner, so I just left a note.
308 00:18:15 Um...
309 00:18:16 I helped this lost, old Dominican lady.
310 00:18:18 She was really nice and bought me a churro.
311 00:18:22 I just feel like i could be doing more.
312 00:18:25 You know? Just curious when the next
313 00:18:27 real mission's gonna be.
314 00:18:29 So, yeah, just call me back.
315 00:18:31 It's Peter. Parker.
316 00:18:38 Why would I tell him about the churro?
317 00:18:44 Oh. Unh. Hey, hey. Oh! Ah.
318 00:18:51 Okay.
319 00:18:53 Can't wait to see this thing.
320 00:18:55 Finally, something good.
321 00:18:59 Yo, this high-tech stuff makes it too easy.
322 00:19:02 - Told you it was worth it. - Okay, go, go, go.
323 00:19:10 Oh, heh, nice.
324 00:19:11 We can hit, like, five more places tonight.
325 00:19:24 Ahem. What's up, guys?
326 00:19:26 You forget your pin number?
327 00:19:28 Whoa! You're the avengers.
328 00:19:29 What are you guys doing here?
329 00:19:33 Thor. Hulk. Good to finally meet you guys.
330 00:19:37 I thought you'd be more handsome in person. Iron man.
331 00:19:39 Hey, what are you doing robbing a bank? You're a billionaire.
332 00:19:46 Hey--
333 00:19:47 oh, this feels so weird.
334 00:19:51 What is that thing?
335 00:19:53 I'm starting...To think... You're not...The avengers.
336 00:20:01 911. What's your emergency?
337 00:20:02 Uh, spider-man is fighting the avengers
338 00:20:06 in a bank on 21st street.
339 00:20:07 - All right, let's wrap this up. - It's a school night.
340 00:20:14 So how do jerks like you get tech like this?
341 00:20:18 No. Wait, wait, wait! Ah!
342 00:20:24 Mr. delmar.
343 00:20:27 Hey, Mr. delmar, you in here? Is anybody in here? Hello?
344 00:20:40 Oh, come on.
345 00:20:44 I gotta--
346 00:20:46 here, here. Good, yeah.
347 00:20:50 Okay. Good. Yes.
348 00:20:52 Yes-- no. No, put that down.
349 00:20:53 That's worth more than you or me. Yeah?
350 00:20:56 Happy, the craziest thing just happened to me.
351 00:20:58 These guys were robbing an atm
352 00:21:00 with high-tech weapons-- take a breath. I don't have time
353 00:21:02 for atm robberies yeah, but--
354 00:21:04 or the notes you leave behind.
355 00:21:06 I have moving day to worry about.
356 00:21:07 Everything's gotta be out by next week.
357 00:21:09 Wait, wait. You're moving? Who's moving?
358 00:21:12 Yeah, don't you watch the news?
359 00:21:13 Tony sold avengers tower.
360 00:21:15 We're relocating to a new facility upstate
361 00:21:16 where hopefully the cell service is much worse.
362 00:21:19 But what about me? What about you?
363 00:21:21 Well, what if Mr. stark needs me or something big goes down?
364 00:21:25 Can I just please talk to Mr. stark?
365 00:21:27 Stay away from anything dangerous.
366 00:21:29 I'm responsible for making sure you're responsible, okay?
367 00:21:33 I am responsible. I-- oh, crap.
368 00:21:36 My backpack's gone. That doesn't sound responsible.
369 00:21:38 I'll call you back. Feel free not to.
370 00:22:42 What was that?
371 00:22:44 Uh, it's nothing. Nothing.
372 00:22:47 You're the spider-man.
373 00:22:48 From YouTube. I'm not. I'm not.
374 00:22:51 You were on the ceiling. What are you doing in my room?
375 00:22:54 May let me in. We were gonna finish the death star.
376 00:22:56 You can't just bust into my room!
377 00:22:59 That Turkey meatloaf recipe is a disaster.
378 00:23:01 Let's go to dinner. Thai? Ned, you want thai?
379 00:23:04 Yes. No. He's got a thing.
380 00:23:06 A thing to do after.
381 00:23:09 Okay.
382 00:23:11 Maybe put on some clothes.
383 00:23:14 Oh, she doesn't know? Nobody knows.
384 00:23:16 Mr. stark knows because he made my suit. That's it.
385 00:23:19 Tony stark made you that? Are you an avenger?
386 00:23:24 Yeah, basically.
387 00:23:25 Oh, geez. You can't tell anybody.
388 00:23:28 You gotta keep it a secret.
389 00:23:29 Secret? Why? You know what she's like.
390 00:23:31 If she finds out people try and kill me
391 00:23:33 every night, she won't let me do this.
392 00:23:35 Come on, ned, please.
393 00:23:37 Okay, okay, okay.
394 00:23:38 I'll level with you.
395 00:23:40 I can't keep this a secret.
396 00:23:41 It's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.
397 00:23:43 Ned, may cannot know. I cannot do that to her right now.
398 00:23:46 You know? I mean, everything
399 00:23:47 that's happened with her, i-- please.
400 00:23:52 Okay. Just swear it, okay?
401 00:23:55 I swear.
402 00:23:57 Thank you. Yeah.
403 00:23:58 I can't believe this is happening now.
404 00:24:01 Can I try the suit on? No.
405 00:24:02 How's it work? Magnets? How do you shoot the strings?
406 00:24:04 I'm gonna tell you tomorrow. Great.
407 00:24:07 Okay, well, wait, then.
408 00:24:08 How do you do this and the stark internship?
409 00:24:13 This is the stark internship.
410 00:24:16 Ohh...
411 00:24:17 Just get out of here.
412 00:24:21 What's the matter?
413 00:24:23 Thought you loved larb.
414 00:24:25 It's too larby?
415 00:24:28 Not larby enough.
416 00:24:30 How many times do I have to say "larb" before...
417 00:24:33 You talk to me?
418 00:24:35 You know I larb you.
419 00:24:37 I'm just stressed. The internship, and I'm tired.
420 00:24:41 A lot of work.
421 00:24:42 The stark internship.
422 00:24:44 I have to tell you, not a fan of that Tony stark.
423 00:24:47 You're distracted all the time. He's got you in your head.
424 00:24:51 Delmar's sandwiches destroyed...
425 00:24:54 What does he have you doing?
426 00:24:56 You need to use your instincts.
427 00:24:57 ...after an atm robbery was thwarted
428 00:24:59 by queens' own crime stopper, what?
429 00:25:02 The spider-man.
430 00:25:03 As the spider-man attempted to foil their heist,
431 00:25:06 a powerful blast was set off,
432 00:25:07 slicing through the bodega across the street.
433 00:25:10 Miraculously, no one was harmed.
434 00:25:12 If you spot something like that happening,
435 00:25:14 you turn and you run the other way.
436 00:25:16 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.
437 00:25:19 Six blocks away from us.
438 00:25:20 I need a new backpack.
439 00:25:23 What? I need a new backpack.
440 00:25:26 That's five.
441 00:25:28 Sticky rice pudding. We didn't order that.
442 00:25:31 It's on the house.
443 00:25:33 Oh. Thanks.
444 00:25:36 That's nice of him.
445 00:25:39 I think he larbs you.
446 00:25:42 You got bit by a spider?
447 00:25:45 Can it bite me?
448 00:25:46 Well, it probably would've hurt, right?
449 00:25:48 Whatever. Even if it did hurt, I'd let it bite me.
450 00:25:51 Maybe. How much did it hurt?
451 00:25:53 The spider's dead, ned.
452 00:25:58 Whoa.
453 00:26:03 You were here?
454 00:26:06 Yeah.
455 00:26:08 You could've died.
456 00:26:13 Do you lay eggs?
457 00:26:15 What? No.
458 00:26:19 Can you spit venom? No.
459 00:26:21 Can you summon an army of spiders?
460 00:26:24 No, ned.
461 00:26:25 The sokovia accords were put into place...
462 00:26:28 How far can you shoot your webs?
463 00:26:31 It's unknown. Shut up.
464 00:26:33 --To begin regulating...
465 00:26:34 If I was you, i would stand on a building
466 00:26:36 and shoot as far as I could-- shut up, ned.
467 00:26:40 Hi. I'm captain America.
468 00:26:41 Whether you're in the classroom or on the battlefield...
469 00:26:44 Do you know him too? Yeah, we met.
470 00:26:47 I stole his shield. What?
471 00:26:49 Today, my good friend, your gym teacher
472 00:26:51 will be conducting the captain America fitness challenge.
473 00:26:55 Thank you, captain.
474 00:26:56 Pretty sure he's a war criminal, but I have to show these videos.
475 00:26:59 It's required by the state. Let's do it.
476 00:27:01 Do avengers have to pay taxes?
477 00:27:03 What does hulk smell like?
478 00:27:04 - I bet he smells nice. - You have to shut up.
479 00:27:06 Is captain America cool, or is he like a mean, old grandpa?
480 00:27:10 Ned, just shh, okay?
481 00:27:12 Hey, can I be your guy in the chair?
482 00:27:15 What?
483 00:27:16 Yeah. You know how there's a guy with a headset
484 00:27:18 telling the other guy where to go?
485 00:27:20 If you're in a burning building, i could tell you where to go.
486 00:27:23 There'd be screens around me, and I could swivel around.
487 00:27:26 I could be your guy in the chair.
488 00:27:27 Ned, I don't need a guy in the chair.
489 00:27:30 Looking good, Parker.
490 00:27:33 Now, see, for me, it would be f Thor
491 00:27:37 marry iron man and kill hulk.
492 00:27:39 Well, what about the spider-man?
493 00:27:41 It's just spider-man.
494 00:27:42 See the bank security cam on YouTube?
495 00:27:44 He fought off four guys.
496 00:27:46 Oh, my god, she's crushing on spider-man.
497 00:27:48 No way.
498 00:27:49 Kind of. Oh, gross.
499 00:27:52 He's probably, like, 30.
500 00:27:53 You don't know what he looks like.
501 00:27:55 What if he's seriously burned?
502 00:27:56 I wouldn't care. I'd love him for the person he is inside.
503 00:28:00 Peter knows spider-man.
504 00:28:04 No, I don't. No. I-- I mean--
505 00:28:08 they're friends.
506 00:28:09 Yeah, like coach Wilson and captain America are friends.
507 00:28:12 I've met him, yeah. A couple times.
508 00:28:15 But it's...
509 00:28:16 Through the stark internship.
510 00:28:20 Yeah, well, I'm not really supposed to talk about it.
511 00:28:23 Well, that's awesome. Hey, you know what?
512 00:28:25 Maybe you should invite him to Liz's party. Right?
513 00:28:28 Yeah, um, I'm having people over tonight.
514 00:28:30 You're more than welcome to come.
515 00:28:31 - Having a party? - Yeah, it's gonna be dope.
516 00:28:33 You should totally invite your personal friend spider-man.
517 00:28:37 Um... It's okay.
518 00:28:38 I know Peter's way too busy for parties anyway, so...
519 00:28:41 Come on. He'll be there. Right, Parker?
520 00:28:50 What are you doing?
521 00:28:52 Helping you out.
522 00:28:53 Did you not hear her?
523 00:28:55 Liz has a crush on you.
524 00:29:00 Dude, you're an avenger.
525 00:29:01 If any one of us has a chance with a senior girl, it's you.
526 00:29:09 House party in the suburbs.
527 00:29:12 Oh, I remember these. Kind of jealous.
528 00:29:15 It'll be a night to remember. Oh...
529 00:29:18 Ned, some hats wear men. You wear that hat.
530 00:29:21 Yeah, it gives me confidence. Hm.
531 00:29:23 This is a mistake.
532 00:29:25 Hey, let's just go home.
533 00:29:26 Oh, Peter.
534 00:29:27 I know. I know it's really hard
535 00:29:30 trying to fit in with all the changes
536 00:29:32 your body's going through.
537 00:29:34 It's flowering now.
538 00:29:37 He's so stressed out lately.
539 00:29:39 What helps with stress is a party.
540 00:29:41 We should go to the party.
541 00:29:42 Yeah, let's do it. I'm gonna go.
542 00:29:46 Peter...
543 00:29:48 Have fun, okay? Okay. I will.
544 00:29:51 Bye, may.
545 00:29:54 Dude, you have the suit, right?
546 00:29:56 Yeah. This is gonna change our lives.
547 00:30:03 Annie, over here!
548 00:30:05 Hey. Hey.
549 00:30:10 Dj flash.
550 00:30:12 Okay. We're gonna have spider-man swing in,
551 00:30:15 say you guys are tight, and I get
552 00:30:17 a fist bump or one of those half bro-hugs.
553 00:30:19 Can't believe you're at this lame party.
554 00:30:22 But you're here too.
555 00:30:24 Am I?
556 00:30:28 Oh, my gosh.
557 00:30:29 Hey, guys. Cool hat, ned.
558 00:30:31 Hi, Liz. Hi, Liz.
559 00:30:33 I'm so happy you guys came.
560 00:30:35 There's pizza and drinks. Help yourself.
561 00:30:39 What a great party. Thanks.
562 00:30:43 Oh, i--
563 00:30:45 my parents will kill me if anything's broken. I gotta--
564 00:30:48 yeah. Have fun.
565 00:30:50 - Bye. - Bye.
566 00:30:52 Dude, what are you doing?
567 00:30:54 She's here. Spider it up.
568 00:30:56 No, no, no. I can't-- i cannot do this.
569 00:30:59 Spider-man is not a party trick, okay?
570 00:31:01 Look, I'm just gonna be myself.
571 00:31:05 Peter, no one wants that.
572 00:31:07 Dude.
573 00:31:09 Penis Parker, what's up?
574 00:31:12 So where's your pal spider-man?
575 00:31:14 Let me guess: In Canada with your imaginary girlfriend?
576 00:31:19 That's not spider-man.
577 00:31:20 That's just ned in a red shirt.
578 00:31:29 "Hey, what's up? I'm spider-man.
579 00:31:31 "Just thought I'd swing by and say hello to my buddy Peter.
580 00:31:35 "Oh, what's up, ned? Hey, where's Peter, anyways?
581 00:31:38 He must be around..."
582 00:31:44 God, this is stupid. What am I doing?
583 00:31:56 What the hell?
584 00:32:05 Whoo!
585 00:32:19 This sucks.
586 00:32:22 Whoo!
587 00:32:25 Now, this is crafted from a reclaimed
588 00:32:27 sub-ultron arm straight from sokovia.
589 00:32:30 Here. You try.
590 00:32:32 Man, I wanted something low-key.
591 00:32:34 Why are you trying to upsell me, man?
592 00:32:35 Okay, okay. I got what you need, all right?
593 00:32:38 I got tons of great stuff here. One sec.
594 00:32:41 Okay, I got black hole grenades, chitauri railguns...
595 00:32:46 You letting off shots in public now? Hurry up.
596 00:32:48 Look, times are changing. We're the only ones
597 00:32:50 selling these high-tech weapons.
598 00:32:52 Oh, this must be where the atm robbers got their stuff.
599 00:32:56 I need something to stick up somebody.
600 00:32:57 I'm not trying to shoot them back in time.
601 00:33:01 I got antigrav climbers.
602 00:33:03 Yo, climbers?
603 00:33:06 Okay, what the hell is that?
604 00:33:10 Did you set us up? Hey, hey, man.
605 00:33:14 Hey! Come on. You gonna shoot at somebody, shoot at me.
606 00:33:19 All right.
607 00:33:32 What was that?
608 00:33:41 What--?
609 00:33:45 We gotta call him. No, no, no, no.
610 00:33:54 Did you just do it again?
611 00:33:55 Shut up. I'm calling him.
612 00:34:07 Toomes's phone.
613 00:34:10 Boss.
614 00:34:12 Oh, my butt!
615 00:34:32 Great. Guess I'm gonna have to take a shortcut.
616 00:34:38 Hey, guys. Good game. Have fun.
617 00:34:39 Hey, hey, buddy.
618 00:34:42 Sorry, no time to play. Here, go fetch.
619 00:34:45 Whoo!
620 00:34:47 Now, this is more like it.
621 00:34:58 Whoa!
622 00:35:02 Smells really good.
623 00:35:06 Great movie!
624 00:35:14 Oh, hey, guys.
625 00:35:16 No! No!
626 00:35:18 - Hey, it's Peter. - Leave a message.
627 00:35:22 Peter, where are you?
628 00:35:23 The hat's not working. This is not cool.
629 00:35:26 Almost got you.
630 00:35:40 Thought you got away from me, didn't you?
631 00:35:43 I got you right where I want you.
632 00:35:46 Surprise!
633 00:35:52 What the hell?
634 00:36:40 Oh, hey.
635 00:36:44 And then he just, like, swooped down like a monster
636 00:36:48 and picked me up, and took me up
637 00:36:50 like a thousand feet and just dropped me.
638 00:36:52 How'd you find me? Did you put a tracker in my suit?
639 00:36:55 I put everything in your suit.
640 00:36:58 Including this heater.
641 00:37:00 Whoa.
642 00:37:02 That's better. Thanks. What were you thinking?
643 00:37:06 The guy with wings is the source of the weapons.
644 00:37:08 I gotta take him down.
645 00:37:10 Take him down now, huh?
646 00:37:11 Crockett, there are people who handle this sort of thing.
647 00:37:14 The avengers? No, no, no.
648 00:37:16 This is a little below their pay grade.
649 00:37:17 Mr. stark, you didn't have to come out here.
650 00:37:20 I had that. I was fine.
651 00:37:21 Oh, I'm not here.
652 00:37:25 Thank god this place has Wi-Fi
653 00:37:27 or you would be toast right now.
654 00:37:29 Thank Ganesh while you're at it.
655 00:37:31 Cheers.
656 00:37:32 Look, forget the flying vulture guy, please.
657 00:37:35 Why? Why?
658 00:37:36 Because I said so!
659 00:37:38 Sorry, I'm talking to a teenager.
660 00:37:42 Stay close to the ground.
661 00:37:43 Build up your game helping the little people,
662 00:37:45 like that lady that bought you the churro.
663 00:37:48 Can't you just be a friendly
664 00:37:51 neighborhood spider-man?
665 00:37:52 But I'm ready for more than that now.
666 00:37:54 No, you're not. That is not what you thought
667 00:37:57 when I took on captain America. Trust me, kid.
668 00:37:59 If cap wanted to lay you out, he would've.
669 00:38:01 Listen to me. If you come across
670 00:38:03 these weapons again, call happy.
671 00:38:05 Are you driving?
672 00:38:07 You know, it's never too early to start thinking about college.
673 00:38:11 I got some pull at mit. End call.
674 00:38:15 No, I don't need to go to--
675 00:38:16 Mr. stark is no longer connected.
676 00:38:21 That's awesome.
677 00:38:25 "Stay close to the ground"? What is he talking about?
678 00:38:40 Whoa.
679 00:38:47 Hey, man, what's up? I'm on my way back.
680 00:38:49 Actually, i was calling to say
681 00:38:51 maybe you shouldn't come. Listen to this.
682 00:38:52 When I say "penis," you say "Parker."
683 00:38:55 - Penis! - Parker!
684 00:38:56 - Penis! - Parker!
685 00:38:58 - Sorry, Peter. - I guess we're still losers.
686 00:39:01 I'll see you tomorrow.
687 00:39:02 I'll see you tomorrow in school.
688 00:39:30 Whoa.
689 00:39:44 Idiots.
690 00:39:47 Idiots.
691 00:39:48 Idiots!
692 00:39:49 Boss? Your wife keeps texting you.
693 00:39:53 Something about a brake light.
694 00:39:54 What'd I tell you about looking at my phone?
695 00:39:57 Oh. Sorry. You left it out.
696 00:39:58 You know I'm a curious person by nature.
697 00:40:01 I finished designing that high-altitude vacuum seal.
698 00:40:06 Huh? In case you want to,
699 00:40:07 you know, go for the big one?
700 00:40:10 You're still on that? I told you, no.
701 00:40:12 The answer's no. Forget it.
702 00:40:18 Ha, ha, ha! Whoo!
703 00:40:26 I mean, that was badass.
704 00:40:30 How many times have I told you
705 00:40:32 not to fire them out in the open?
706 00:40:34 You said, move the merchandise. Under the radar.
707 00:40:38 Under the radar!
708 00:40:39 That's how we survive.
709 00:40:40 If you bring damage control
710 00:40:42 or the avengers down here, we're through.
711 00:40:44 You're out there wearing that goofy thing,
712 00:40:46 lighting up cars calling yourself the shocker.
713 00:40:49 "I'm the shocker. I shock people."
714 00:40:51 What is this, pro wrestling?
715 00:40:53 Whatever, old man. Come on.
716 00:40:56 Look.
717 00:40:58 Look.
718 00:40:59 I know you don't give a crap about anything.
719 00:41:02 But I do.
720 00:41:04 I built this whole place
721 00:41:05 because I got people i have to look after.
722 00:41:07 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
723 00:41:13 You know what?
724 00:41:14 I can't afford your bullshit.
725 00:41:17 Get out of here. What?
726 00:41:18 You're done. You're off the crew.
727 00:41:20 Yeah, all right.
728 00:41:23 Heh. All right.
729 00:41:24 Wonder if you can afford me out there, though, right?
730 00:41:27 With everything I know.
731 00:41:29 Excuse me? I'm just saying,
732 00:41:32 maybe your wife would like to know
733 00:41:34 where you really get your money from.
734 00:41:37 You know what? What?
735 00:41:39 You're right.
736 00:41:40 That work? I don't know.
737 00:41:43 I can't afford that.
738 00:41:45 W-w-wait.
739 00:41:54 Damn.
740 00:41:58 I thought this was the antigravity gun.
741 00:42:00 What? No, that's that one.
742 00:42:15 Here.
743 00:42:18 Now you're the shocker.
744 00:42:19 Go out there and find that weapon he lost.
745 00:42:22 All right.
746 00:42:31 Hey, thanks for bailing on me.
747 00:42:34 Yeah, well, something came up.
748 00:42:36 Oh, what is that?
749 00:42:37 I don't know. Some guy tried to vaporize me with it.
750 00:42:40 Seriously? Yeah.
751 00:42:42 Awesome.
752 00:42:43 I mean, not awesome. Totally uncool of that guy.
753 00:42:47 So scary. Yeah.
754 00:42:50 Well, look, I think it's a power source.
755 00:42:53 Yeah, but it's connected to all these microprocessors.
756 00:42:56 That's an inductive charging plate.
757 00:42:57 That's what I use to charge my toothbrush.
758 00:42:59 Whoever's making these weapons
759 00:43:01 is combining alien tech with ours.
760 00:43:02 That is literally the coolest sentence anyone has ever said.
761 00:43:07 I just want to thank you
762 00:43:08 for letting me be part of your journey
763 00:43:10 into this amazing--
764 00:43:14 keep your fingers clear of the blades.
765 00:43:20 I gotta figure out what this is and who makes it.
766 00:43:22 We'll go to the lab after class and run some tests.
767 00:43:25 Let's do it.
768 00:43:33 First, we put the glowy thing in the mass spectrometer.
769 00:43:35 We gotta come up with a better name than "glowy thingy."
770 00:43:39 You're right.
771 00:43:42 Crap.
772 00:43:42 Come on, come on, come on.
773 00:43:49 High schools creep me out.
774 00:43:50 They got this funny smell, you know what I mean?
775 00:43:53 Hey, that's one of the guys that tried to kill me.
776 00:43:57 What? Yeah.
777 00:43:58 We gotta get out of here.
778 00:43:59 No, no, no. I gotta follow them.
779 00:44:01 They can lead me to the guy that dropped me in the lake.
780 00:44:03 Someone dropped you in a lake? Yeah, it was not good.
781 00:44:08 Peter-- no. Stay there, ned.
782 00:44:10 Peter.
783 00:44:14 What are you doing?
784 00:44:16 Nothing.
785 00:44:17 Yeah. You good?
786 00:44:20 Chess.
787 00:44:22 Man, can you imagine what the boss would say
788 00:44:25 if he knew where we were?
789 00:44:26 It's saying there was an energy pulse here.
790 00:44:29 There's no sign of the weapon.
791 00:44:31 And even if it was here, now it's gone.
792 00:44:33 So are we.
793 00:45:07 This is so awesome.
794 00:45:09 I know, right?
795 00:45:15 They're in Brooklyn.
796 00:45:20 Staten island.
797 00:45:28 Leaving Jersey.
798 00:45:37 They stopped.
799 00:45:41 Huh.
800 00:45:42 Maryland?
801 00:45:43 What's there? I don't know.
802 00:45:46 Evil lair?
803 00:45:47 They have a lair? Dude, a gang with alien guns
804 00:45:49 run by a guy with wings? Yeah, they have a lair.
805 00:45:52 Badass.
806 00:45:53 But how are you gonna get there if it's, like, 300 miles away?
807 00:45:58 It's not too far from D.C.
808 00:46:01 Hey, it's Peter. Guys.
809 00:46:03 - Peter? - Hey, buddy.
810 00:46:04 Yeah, I was hoping I could rejoin the team.
811 00:46:06 No, no way. You can't quit on us,
812 00:46:08 stroll up and be welcomed back by everyone.
813 00:46:11 Hey, welcome back, Peter!
814 00:46:12 Flash, you're back to first alternate.
815 00:46:14 What? He's taking your place.
816 00:46:15 Excuse me, can we go already?
817 00:46:17 I was hoping to get in some light protesting
818 00:46:19 in front of one of the embassies before dinner.
819 00:46:21 Protesting is patriotic. Let's get on the bus.
820 00:46:25 Focus up, everyone.
821 00:46:26 Our next topic is the moons of saturn.
822 00:46:29 Second law of thermodynamics.
823 00:46:31 Frank Sinatra. Fort sumter.
824 00:46:33 Flash is wrong. Okay, guys, let's focus.
825 00:46:35 Next one. Liz, don't overwork 'em.
826 00:46:37 Uh, strontium, barium, vibranium.
827 00:46:40 Very good, Peter. Glad to have you back.
828 00:46:42 Glad to be back.
829 00:46:44 What is the current standard unit of--?
830 00:46:46 Can I take this real quick? I'll only be a sec.
831 00:46:48 Yeah, fine. Hello?
832 00:46:50 Got a blip on my screen here. You left New York?
833 00:46:52 Okay, focus up, everyone. Tracker.
834 00:46:54 Yeah, it's just a school trip. It's nothing.
835 00:46:57 Look, happy, I gotta say,
836 00:46:58 you tracking me without permission
837 00:46:59 is a complete violation of my privacy.
838 00:47:02 That's different. What's different?
839 00:47:03 Nothing. Look, it's just the academic decathlon.
840 00:47:06 It's no big deal. Hey, hey.
841 00:47:07 I'll decide if it's no big deal.
842 00:47:11 Sounds like it's no big deal,
843 00:47:13 but remember, I'm watching you.
844 00:47:25 Everyone stick together. Yeah.
845 00:47:28 You kidding me? This place is huge.
846 00:47:30 I've seen bigger. There's a bird in here.
847 00:47:33 Hey, you brought your laptop, right?
848 00:47:36 Why?
849 00:47:45 Peter,
850 00:47:46 why are we removing the tracker from your suit?
851 00:47:49 Uh, because i gotta follow these guys
852 00:47:52 to their boss before they move again
853 00:47:53 and I don't really want Mr. stark to know about it.
854 00:47:57 So you're lying to iron man now?
855 00:47:59 No, I'm not lying.
856 00:48:00 He just doesn't really get what I can do yet.
857 00:48:08 Oh, gotcha.
858 00:48:09 All right, happy, enjoy tracking this lamp.
859 00:48:16 There's a ton of other subsystems in here.
860 00:48:20 Hm?
861 00:48:20 But they're all disabled by the training wheels protocol.
862 00:48:25 What?
863 00:48:25 "Training wheels protocol"?
864 00:48:28 Turn it off.
865 00:48:29 I don't think that's a good idea.
866 00:48:31 They're blocked for a reason.
867 00:48:32 Come on, man, i don't need training wheels.
868 00:48:34 I'm sick of him treating me like a kid all the time.
869 00:48:37 It's not cool. But you are a kid.
870 00:48:39 Yeah, a kid who can stop a bus with his bare hands.
871 00:48:42 Peter, I just don't think this is a great idea.
872 00:48:44 I mean, what if this is illegal?
873 00:48:46 Look, please.
874 00:48:47 This is my chance to prove myself.
875 00:48:49 I can handle it. Ned, come on.
876 00:48:51 I really don't think this is a good idea.
877 00:48:53 The guy in the chair.
878 00:48:54 Don't do that. Come on.
879 00:49:09 The glowy thing, it's evidence. Keep it safe, all right?
880 00:49:14 Okay. Okay.
881 00:49:16 They're moving. Be careful.
882 00:49:21 Hey, Liz. Perfect timing.
883 00:49:23 We're gonna go swimming.
884 00:49:25 Come on, come on. What?
885 00:49:27 Hey, Peter. Hi.
886 00:49:31 Hey.
887 00:49:32 I was-- I was gonna go study in the business center.
888 00:49:36 Peter, you don't need to study.
889 00:49:38 You're, like, the smartest guy I've ever met.
890 00:49:40 And besides, a rebellious group activity
891 00:49:42 the day before competition is good for morale.
892 00:49:45 Hm?
893 00:49:46 Well, I read that in a Ted talk, so--
894 00:49:48 i-- I heard it in a Ted talk.
895 00:49:51 And I read a coaching book.
896 00:49:52 Are you really-- this is really important to you.
897 00:49:56 Yeah. It's our future.
898 00:49:58 I'm not gonna screw it up.
899 00:50:00 Besides, we raided the minibar
900 00:50:02 and these candy bars were, like, $11.
901 00:50:04 So get your trunks on and come on.
902 00:50:07 Come on.
903 00:50:08 Come on. I'm coming, I'm coming.
904 00:50:10 Let's go.
905 00:50:34 Good evening, Peter.
906 00:50:37 Hello? Hello?
907 00:50:38 Congratulations on completing
908 00:50:39 the rigorous training wheels protocol
909 00:50:40 and gaining access to your suit's full capabilities.
910 00:50:43 Ah, thank you.
911 00:50:44 So, where would you like to take me tonight?
912 00:50:46 I put a tracker on someone. He's a bad guy.
913 00:50:50 Tracker located.
914 00:50:52 Plotting course to intercept target.
915 00:50:54 Okay, well, as long as I make it back
916 00:50:56 in time for decathlon, it's fine.
917 00:51:05 One hundred meters from destination and closing.
918 00:51:09 Jump now.
919 00:51:15 Detecting three individuals.
920 00:51:17 Why is their secret lair
921 00:51:19 in a gas station? That's so lame.
922 00:51:24 Hey, suit lady, what are they doing?
923 00:51:26 Do you want to hear what they're saying?
924 00:51:28 I can hear what they're saying? Uh, yeah.
925 00:51:31 Activating enhanced reconnaissance mode.
926 00:51:33 I got the gauntlet from the Lagos cleanup.
927 00:51:35 The rest is my design. Whoa, that's so cool.
928 00:51:37 Can't believe they're still cleaning the triskelion mess.
929 00:51:40 - I love it. - They keep making messes,
930 00:51:42 - we keep getting rich. - Target inbound.
931 00:51:44 Whoa, they're in the middle of a heist.
932 00:51:46 I could catch 'em all red-handed. This is awesome.
933 00:51:49 Okay, I'm gonna get a little closer
934 00:51:50 so I can see what's happening.
935 00:51:52 Would you like me to engage enhanced combat mode?
936 00:51:54 "Enhanced combat mode"? Yeah.
937 00:51:57 Activating instant kill.
938 00:51:58 No, no, no, no. I don't want to kill anybody.
939 00:52:01 Deactivating instant kill.
940 00:52:06 Did you hear that?
941 00:52:07 What the hell just happened? What was that?
942 00:52:09 You jumped off the sign and landed on your face.
943 00:52:14 Suit lady, what's wrong with my web-shooters?
944 00:52:16 Rapid-fire is the default for enhanced combat mode.
945 00:52:19 Why would I need rapid-fire?
946 00:52:20 Would you like to see more options?
947 00:52:22 You have 576 possible web-shooter combinations.
948 00:52:25 Mr. stark really overdid it.
949 00:52:27 You two wait right here.
950 00:52:28 Wait. You're gonna want to turn on the dampers
951 00:52:30 or that thing will shatter your arm.
952 00:52:32 All right, where's the dampers?
953 00:52:34 That one. Great choice.
954 00:52:35 Would you like me to set this as your new default?
955 00:52:40 No, no, no. Push that in.
956 00:52:41 Right here? No, the other--
957 00:52:43 this one here? Yeah, push it.
958 00:52:44 What was that? Taser webs.
959 00:52:46 Taser webs? I don't want taser webs.
960 00:52:48 You seem to be unfamiliar with your web-shooter settings.
961 00:52:51 Would you like to run a refresher course?
962 00:52:53 No. Just-- you choose. Sure thing.
963 00:52:55 Six-Alpha-niner, are you running on time?
964 00:52:58 Copy, central. Six-Alpha-niner on schedule.
965 00:53:04 I got a visual. Green light, green light.
966 00:53:11 Oh, that's him.
967 00:53:16 Okay. I got eyes on the convoy.
968 00:53:18 Pulling in behind the caboose.
969 00:53:21 Deploy anchors.
970 00:53:34 Dropping down.
971 00:53:37 No outgoing distress signals. You're all clear.
972 00:53:41 Hey. Looks like they got some good stuff here.
973 00:53:52 Whoa, cool.
974 00:53:53 It's like some kind of matter phase shifter.
975 00:54:00 All right, coming up.
976 00:54:07 Hey, big bird! This doesn't belong to you.
977 00:54:12 Oh, god.
978 00:54:19 Suit lady, what was that? You told me to choose.
979 00:54:23 What? No, just set everything back to normal.
980 00:54:26 Activating all systems.
981 00:54:45 Oh, my head.
982 00:54:46 You appear to have a mild concussion.
983 00:54:51 Hey, so where am i right now?
984 00:54:55 I'm not sure.
985 00:54:55 The container walls are hindering my sensors.
986 00:55:00 Wait a minute.
987 00:55:01 They must have hijacked the truck
988 00:55:03 and taken me to their evil lair.
989 00:55:05 Okay, suit lady, we're gonna have to fight
990 00:55:08 our way out of this one.
991 00:55:10 Three, two, one!
992 00:55:18 What is this place?
993 00:55:20 Suit lady, where am I?
994 00:55:21 You're in the most secure facility
995 00:55:23 on the eastern seaboard.
996 00:55:24 The damage control deep storage vault.
997 00:55:27 No. Seriously?
998 00:55:31 The door will most likely remain closed until morning.
999 00:55:35 Morning?
1000 00:55:35 Hey, suit lady, i kind of feel bad
1001 00:55:38 calling you "suit lady," you know?
1002 00:55:40 I think I should probably give you a name...
1003 00:55:43 Like Liz. No, no, no.
1004 00:55:46 God, that's-- that's weird.
1005 00:55:48 What about Karen?
1006 00:55:50 You can call me Karen if you would like.
1007 00:55:52 Hey, Karen, what else can this suit do?
1008 00:55:57 What?
1009 00:55:58 Maybe we should run that refresher course.
1010 00:56:00 Ricochet web. Ricochet web.
1011 00:56:02 Whoa! Cool. Splitter web.
1012 00:56:07 Web grenade. Web grenade!
1013 00:56:11 Should I tell Liz that I'm spider-man?
1014 00:56:14 Who is Liz?
1015 00:56:15 Who's Liz? She's-- heh.
1016 00:56:18 She's the best. She's awesome.
1017 00:56:20 She's just a girl who goes to my school.
1018 00:56:23 And, uh...
1019 00:56:24 Yeah, I just-- i really want to tell her,
1020 00:56:26 but it's kind of weird, you know?
1021 00:56:28 "Hey, I'm-- I'm spider-man."
1022 00:56:31 What's weird about that?
1023 00:56:32 What if she's expecting someone like Tony stark?
1024 00:56:34 Imagine how disappointed she'd be when she sees me.
1025 00:56:38 Well, if I were her,
1026 00:56:39 I wouldn't be disappointed at all.
1027 00:56:41 Thanks, Karen.
1028 00:56:42 It's really nice to have somebody to talk to.
1029 00:56:45 Hey, how long we been here anyways?
1030 00:56:47 Thirty-seven minutes. What?
1031 00:56:49 Thirty-seven minutes? That's insane.
1032 00:56:51 I cannot take this anymore.
1033 00:56:53 I got to-- i gotta get out of here.
1034 00:56:55 There's got to be something in here I can use.
1035 00:57:00 Okay, let's see.
1036 00:57:03 Nope.
1037 00:57:05 That's awesome.
1038 00:57:07 Ah. Hey, it's like the glowy thing.
1039 00:57:09 That glowy thing is an explosive chitauri energy core.
1040 00:57:12 Whoa, whoa! You mean, we've been carrying around a bomb?
1041 00:57:15 It would require radiation to transform it
1042 00:57:17 into an explosive state.
1043 00:57:19 No, no, no, no, no.
1044 00:57:25 Hey! Please! Please, somebody, let me out! Hey!
1045 00:57:28 Karen, you have to help me override that time lock.
1046 00:57:31 Okay, Karen, lower the voltage and run it.
1047 00:57:34 Trial unsuccessful.
1048 00:57:35 Okay, we're just gonna have to try every sequence.
1049 00:57:40 Ned, Peter, we're gonna be late. Come on, let's go.
1050 00:57:44 Okay. Hold on, hold on.
1051 00:57:50 Initiating trial 247.
1052 00:57:53 It worked. It works!
1053 00:58:06 Please be sure all cell phones are turned off.
1054 00:58:11 Thank you.
1055 00:58:12 Karen, get me to the decathlon as fast as possible.
1056 00:58:14 Sure thing. Just tell me where it is.
1057 00:58:16 Across from the Washington monument.
1058 00:58:17 It's ned. Leave a message.
1059 00:58:19 Ned, call me back! The glowy thing's a bomb!
1060 00:58:26 There's a vehicle approaching on your right.
1061 00:58:28 We have now entered sudden death.
1062 00:58:31 The next correct answer wins the championship.
1063 00:58:38 Midtown tech?
1064 00:58:40 Zero.
1065 00:58:41 That is correct.
1066 00:58:42 Midtown takes the championship!
1067 00:58:46 Whoo-hoo! - We won!
1068 00:58:48 You guys, i am so proud of you.
1069 00:58:50 Told you we didn't need Peter.
1070 00:58:51 Flash, you didn't answer one question.
1071 00:58:54 Taking it all in? Oh, yeah, I just--
1072 00:58:55 um, I don't want to celebrate something
1073 00:58:58 that was built by slaves.
1074 00:58:59 I'm sure the Washington monument wasn't built by--
1075 00:59:05 okay.
1076 00:59:06 Enjoy your book. Thanks.
1077 00:59:11 Oh, ned, you're alive! Peter, are you okay?
1078 00:59:13 Where's the glowy thing? The glowy thing?
1079 00:59:15 Don't worry, it's safe. It's in my backpack.
1080 00:59:17 Ned, listen! The glowy thing is dangerous!
1081 00:59:18 You missed the decathlon. I covered for you.
1082 00:59:20 Ned, listen to me! We're at the Washington mon--
1083 00:59:23 Peter, is that you? Hey, Liz.
1084 00:59:24 Is that Liz? Put ned on the phone.
1085 00:59:26 Tell her how you feel. You flake!
1086 00:59:28 You are so lucky we won.
1087 00:59:29 I want to be mad, but I'm more worried.
1088 00:59:31 Like, what is going on with you?
1089 00:59:33 I have to talk to ned. It's important!
1090 00:59:34 Miss, all items on the belt, please.
1091 00:59:36 There's something in ned's backpack!
1092 00:59:37 It's dangerous. Don't let it go through an X-ray.
1093 00:59:42 Liz? Liz! Damn it.
1094 00:59:47 Mr. Harrison, can I be the one to tell Peter he's expelled?
1095 00:59:54 The Washington monument is 555 feet,
1096 00:59:58 five and one-eighth inches tall.
1097 01:00:01 Notice how the marble and granite
1098 01:00:04 are cut around the stone.
1099 01:00:11 Did you hear that?
1100 01:00:12 No, no, no. Karen, what's going on up there?
1101 01:00:14 The chitauri core has detonated
1102 01:00:16 and caused severe structural damage to the elevator.
1103 01:00:19 Oh, no. My friends are up there.
1104 01:00:21 What? Don't worry, ma'am, everything's gonna be okay.
1105 01:00:23 Excuse me, excuse me. Oh, my god, that's tall.
1106 01:00:31 Oh, my god. Look at the ceiling.
1107 01:00:33 Just stay calm, everyone.
1108 01:00:35 Oh, we are all going to die here.
1109 01:00:39 Estimating 10 minutes before catastrophic failure.
1110 01:00:42 We're freakin' screwed.
1111 01:00:43 Okay, I know that was scary,
1112 01:00:45 but our safety systems are working.
1113 01:00:47 The safety systems are completely failing.
1114 01:00:50 We're very safe in here.
1115 01:00:51 The occupants are in imminent mortal danger.
1116 01:00:54 I'm going as fast as I can!
1117 01:01:05 Let's go. Give me your hand.
1118 01:01:07 You now have 125 seconds until catastrophic failure.
1119 01:01:10 What? Why? Unexpected motion has caused
1120 01:01:13 the deterioration to escalate.
1121 01:01:15 How do I get in there?
1122 01:01:16 Activating reconnaissance drone.
1123 01:01:20 Whoa. Has that been there this whole time? That's awesome.
1124 01:01:23 Locating optimal entry point.
1125 01:01:27 Proceed to southwest window.
1126 01:01:30 Karen, I'm on my way.
1127 01:01:35 There's a lot of glass here. You got this.
1128 01:01:38 Keep coming, keep coming.
1129 01:01:48 Ah!
1130 01:01:53 Okay. Oh, my god.
1131 01:01:56 Okay.
1132 01:01:57 What's wrong? You've reached the southwest window.
1133 01:02:01 Why are you hesitating? It's fine.
1134 01:02:03 I've just never been this high before.
1135 01:02:04 You have also not reinstalled your parachute,
1136 01:02:06 so a fall from this height would most likely be lethal.
1137 01:02:12 Perfect.
1138 01:02:13 Oh, my god.
1139 01:02:16 Why is it not breaking?
1140 01:02:17 It's four-inch ballistic glass.
1141 01:02:19 You'll have to create more momentum.
1142 01:02:40 This is D.C. Metro police.
1143 01:02:42 Identify yourself. My friends are in there! Stop!
1144 01:02:45 Return to the ground immediately.
1145 01:02:46 Okay, who's next? Me, it's my turn!
1146 01:02:48 - Flash, seriously? - What are you doing?
1147 01:02:51 Come on. Don't worry about the trophy.
1148 01:02:56 Ahh!
1149 01:03:01 Stand down!
1150 01:03:02 Return to the ground immediately!
1151 01:03:08 Return to the ground or we will open fire!
1152 01:03:12 Go up, go up.
1153 01:03:14 I got this.
1154 01:03:16 Take my trophy!
1155 01:03:19 This is your last chance!
1156 01:03:22 Oh, I'm gonna die.
1157 01:03:24 Look out!
1158 01:03:33 Ahh!
1159 01:03:48 I did it! Whoa!
1160 01:04:01 Ahem. Hey, how you doing?
1161 01:04:04 Don't worry about it. I got you.
1162 01:04:06 Yes! Yes! Hey, hey, hey.
1163 01:04:07 Big guy, quit moving around. I'm sorry, sir. So sorry.
1164 01:04:13 Let's go, let's go!
1165 01:04:20 Okay, okay.
1166 01:04:22 Mr. harrington, go. Ned, come on.
1167 01:04:24 This is your stop. Come on, Liz.
1168 01:04:26 Go, go, go. Everybody out!
1169 01:04:28 Move it, people. Move it, move it!
1170 01:04:30 - Are you sure it's safe? - Liz!
1171 01:04:37 You're okay. You're okay.
1172 01:04:43 Okay.
1173 01:04:44 Oh, my god. Good, good.
1174 01:04:45 Come on up. Come on, you guys, stay back.
1175 01:04:47 Come on in. You guys good?
1176 01:04:49 So is everyone okay?
1177 01:04:52 This is your chance, Peter.
1178 01:04:55 Kiss her.
1179 01:04:58 Oh!
1180 01:05:00 Thank you.
1181 01:05:04 Are you really friends with Peter Parker?
1182 01:05:14 I can finish the next order,
1183 01:05:16 but without any new materials from that truck...
1184 01:05:20 Yeah, damn it.
1185 01:05:22 We still have enough to do the gargan deal though, right?
1186 01:05:25 Yeah, but then that's it.
1187 01:05:29 Oh, maybe it is time that i built the high-altitude seal.
1188 01:05:33 Would you shut up about that? It's only one job.
1189 01:05:36 No.
1190 01:05:38 Eight years, not a word from the feds,
1191 01:05:40 nothing from those Halloween-costume-wearing bozos
1192 01:05:44 up there in stark tower.
1193 01:05:46 And then all of a sudden,
1194 01:05:47 this little bastard in red tights shows up
1195 01:05:50 and he thinks he can tear down everything I've built.
1196 01:05:56 Really?
1197 01:05:59 I'm gonna kill him.
1198 01:06:00 I'm gonna find him-- i found him.
1199 01:06:01 Spider-man swooped in, heroically saving
1200 01:06:04 an academic decathlon team from queens.
1201 01:06:07 The identity of the masked hero is still unknown.
1202 01:06:12 Mom. Okay. All right.
1203 01:06:15 Peter? Come here, come here.
1204 01:06:20 Oh, my god.
1205 01:06:21 This past weekend, midtown's academic decathlon team
1206 01:06:24 defeated the country's best
1207 01:06:25 to win the national championship.
1208 01:06:27 Later that day, they also defeated death.
1209 01:06:29 Explosion. Sally scream. Flash scream. All scream.
1210 01:06:31 There were purple lasers and smoke everywhere.
1211 01:06:33 It was tight, like a bon jovi concert.
1212 01:06:35 As you know, we made it out alive,
1213 01:06:37 and that's the important thing.
1214 01:06:38 I couldn't bear to lose a student on a school trip.
1215 01:06:44 Not again.
1216 01:06:45 Thankfully, no one was seriously injured,
1217 01:06:47 thanks to the spider-man.
1218 01:06:48 Thank you, spider-man. Thank you, spider-man.
1219 01:06:50 Up next: The spider-man mania is sweeping the school.
1220 01:06:54 How can you show your spider spirit?
1221 01:06:59 Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.
1222 01:07:02 What is it like being famous when nobody knows it's you?
1223 01:07:06 Crazy, dude. It's crazy.
1224 01:07:07 Should we tell everyone? No.
1225 01:07:09 Should I tell everyone?
1226 01:07:10 No, dude. That's not a good idea.
1227 01:07:12 Okay, come on, we'll be late to class.
1228 01:07:14 I'm not going to class. You're already in trouble
1229 01:07:16 for ditching the decathlon. Dude, listen, I figured it out.
1230 01:07:19 The wingsuit guy is stealing from damage control.
1231 01:07:21 What he takes from damage control,
1232 01:07:23 that's how he builds the weapons.
1233 01:07:24 So all I gotta do is catch him.
1234 01:07:26 But we have a Spanish quiz.
1235 01:07:27 Ned, I'm probably never gonna come back here.
1236 01:07:30 Mr. stark is moving the avengers upstate
1237 01:07:32 so when I bring this guy in-- dude.
1238 01:07:35 You want to be a high school dropout?
1239 01:07:37 I am so far beyond high school right now.
1240 01:07:41 Parker, my office.
1241 01:07:46 So...
1242 01:07:47 You got detention.
1243 01:07:48 You screwed up. You know what you did was wrong.
1244 01:07:51 The question is, how are you gonna make things right?
1245 01:07:54 Maybe you were trying to be cool.
1246 01:07:55 But take it from a guy who's been frozen for 65 years,
1247 01:07:58 the only way to really be cool is to follow the rules.
1248 01:08:01 We all know what's right. We all know what's wrong.
1249 01:08:05 Next time those turkeys try to convince you of something
1250 01:08:07 you know is wrong... Where you going? Get back here.
1251 01:08:10 Just think to yourself, what would captain America do?
1252 01:08:13 Why are you here? You don't even have detention.
1253 01:08:15 Oh, I know. I just like coming here
1254 01:08:17 to sketch people in crisis.
1255 01:08:21 Heh. It's you.
1256 01:08:24 So your body's changing.
1257 01:08:25 Believe me, I know how that feels.
1258 01:08:40 May?
1259 01:08:44 Hey, Karen. What's up?
1260 01:08:45 - Hey, Peter. - How was your Spanish quiz?
1261 01:08:48 I was wondering if you could help me.
1262 01:08:49 I'm trying to figure out who the guys
1263 01:08:51 under the bridge were that night,
1264 01:08:52 but I can only remember part of a license plate.
1265 01:08:54 I can run facial recognition
1266 01:08:56 on the footage of that encounter.
1267 01:08:57 Footage? Yes, Peter.
1268 01:08:58 I record everything you see.
1269 01:09:00 Everything? Like, all the time? Everything.
1270 01:09:02 It's called the baby-monitor protocol.
1271 01:09:05 Yeah, of course it is.
1272 01:09:07 Um, yeah, just roll it back to last Friday.
1273 01:09:11 With pleasure.
1274 01:09:12 Hey, everyone. Yeah, kick-ass party.
1275 01:09:14 What's up, Liz? Peter's told me a lot about you.
1276 01:09:16 No, no, no. This is just me messing around.
1277 01:09:18 Go later in the day, later in the day.
1278 01:09:20 It is I, Thor, son of Odin!
1279 01:09:23 No, no, no. That's definitely--
1280 01:09:24 that's not what we wanted to watch.
1281 01:09:26 Your impressions are very funny.
1282 01:09:28 Fast-forward to the arms deal.
1283 01:09:30 Okay.
1284 01:09:31 The two on the right, who are they?
1285 01:09:33 Searching law enforcement databases.
1286 01:09:34 No records found for two of the individuals.
1287 01:09:38 Nothing? One individual identified.
1288 01:09:40 Aaron Davis, age 33.
1289 01:09:41 He has a criminal record and an address here in queens.
1290 01:09:45 Let's pay him a visit.
1291 01:09:47 Would you like me to activate
1292 01:09:48 the enhanced interrogation protocol?
1293 01:09:51 Uh, yeah.
1294 01:10:06 Remember me? Hey--
1295 01:10:08 I need information. You'll give it to me now.
1296 01:10:10 All right, chill. Come on!
1297 01:10:12 What happened to your voice? What do you mean?
1298 01:10:15 I heard you by the bridge. I know what a girl sound like.
1299 01:10:18 I'm not a girl! I'm a boy.
1300 01:10:19 I mean, I'm a-- I'm a man.
1301 01:10:21 I don't care what you are, a boy, a girl--
1302 01:10:23 I'm not a girl! I'm a man.
1303 01:10:25 Come on, man.
1304 01:10:26 Look, who is selling these weapons?
1305 01:10:27 I need to know. Give me names or else.
1306 01:10:33 You ain't ever done this before, huh?
1307 01:10:35 Deactivate interrogation mode.
1308 01:10:39 Look, man,
1309 01:10:40 these guys are selling weapons that are crazy dangerous.
1310 01:10:43 They can't be out on the streets.
1311 01:10:45 If one of them can cut delmar's bodega in half--
1312 01:10:47 you know delmar's? Yeah, best sandwich in queens.
1313 01:10:50 Sub haven's pretty good. It's too much bread.
1314 01:10:52 I like bread. Come on, man, please.
1315 01:10:56 Stupid interrogation mode. Karen, don't ever do that again.
1316 01:11:00 The other night, you told that dude,
1317 01:11:01 "if you shoot somebody, shoot me."
1318 01:11:04 It's pretty ballsy.
1319 01:11:05 I don't want those weapons in this neighborhood.
1320 01:11:07 I got a nephew who live here.
1321 01:11:10 Who are these guys?
1322 01:11:11 What can you tell me about the guy with the wings?
1323 01:11:13 Other than he's a psychopath dressed like a demon, nothing.
1324 01:11:16 I don't know who he is or where he is.
1325 01:11:20 I do know where he's gonna be. Really?
1326 01:11:24 Yeah, this crazy dude i used to work with,
1327 01:11:27 he's supposed to be doing a deal with him.
1328 01:11:30 Yes! Heh. Yes.
1329 01:11:31 Thank-- hey. Hey. Hey.
1330 01:11:33 I didn't tell you where. You don't have a location.
1331 01:11:35 Right, of course. Yeah, my bad. Silly. Just--
1332 01:11:39 yeah.
1333 01:11:40 Where is it? Can I give you some advice?
1334 01:11:42 Hm? You got to get better
1335 01:11:43 at this part of the job. I don't understand.
1336 01:11:47 I'm intimidating.
1337 01:11:48 Staten island ferry, 11. Oh, that's soon.
1338 01:11:51 Hey, that's gonna dissolve in two hours.
1339 01:11:53 No, no, no, no. Come fix this.
1340 01:11:56 Two hours. You deserve that. I got ice cream in here.
1341 01:11:58 You deserve that. You're a criminal. Bye, Mr. criminal.
1342 01:12:16 Nice.
1343 01:12:19 Okay, Karen, activate enhanced reconnaissance mode.
1344 01:12:22 Sure thing.
1345 01:12:23 He's up front, main deck.
1346 01:12:26 I hate this guy.
1347 01:12:28 It's the guy from the bridge, right?
1348 01:12:29 Who's that other guy? Just keep me posted.
1349 01:12:31 There's no record of him in my criminal database.
1350 01:12:34 Incoming call from may Parker.
1351 01:12:35 Should I reroute to your heads-up display?
1352 01:12:37 I can't talk right now. I'll call her back.
1353 01:12:40 Hey, dronie, keep an eye on that guy.
1354 01:12:42 We can't let anybody get away this time.
1355 01:12:52 - Who's the guy on the left? - Mac gargan.
1356 01:12:55 Extensive criminal record, including homicide.
1357 01:12:57 Would you like me to activate instant kill?
1358 01:12:59 No, Karen, stop it with the instant kill already.
1359 01:13:04 White pickup truck.
1360 01:13:10 Dronie, scan the ship for a white pickup truck.
1361 01:13:33 Oh, this is too perfect.
1362 01:13:35 They got the weapons, buyers and sellers in one place.
1363 01:13:38 Incoming call from Tony stark. No, no, no.
1364 01:13:41 Don't answer. Mr. Parker. Got a sec?
1365 01:13:43 - Uh, I'm actually at school. - No, you're not.
1366 01:13:46 Nice work in D.C. okay.
1367 01:13:48 My dad never really gave me a lot of support
1368 01:13:51 and I'm trying to break the cycle of shame.
1369 01:13:52 I'm kind of in the middle of something.
1370 01:13:54 Don't cut me off when I'm complimenting you.
1371 01:13:56 Anyway, great things are about to-- what is that?
1372 01:13:59 I'm at band practice.
1373 01:14:01 That's odd. Happy told me you quit band six weeks ago.
1374 01:14:06 What's up? I gotta go!
1375 01:14:08 End call. Hey.
1376 01:14:10 I'll take those!
1377 01:14:12 Yoink!
1378 01:14:13 Hey, guys. The illegal weapons-deal ferry was at 10:30.
1379 01:14:17 You missed it!
1380 01:14:19 Whoo!
1381 01:14:26 Spider guy's here.
1382 01:14:31 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not so fast.
1383 01:14:33 Ah!
1384 01:14:34 Are you guys okay? My bad. That was a little hard.
1385 01:14:37 I got to say, the other guy was way better with that thing.
1386 01:14:41 I'm honestly--
1387 01:14:43 I'm-- I'm shocked.
1388 01:14:56 Freeze! FBI! Don't move!
1389 01:14:59 Get on the ground! FBI!
1390 01:15:01 What do you mean, FBI? The federal bureau of invest--
1391 01:15:03 I know what "FBI" means. But what are they doing here?
1392 01:15:08 What the--?
1393 01:15:13 Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
1394 01:15:16 Go, go, go, go!
1395 01:15:17 Get out of there! Whoa!
1396 01:15:20 Look out! Look out! Move! Move! Move!
1397 01:15:28 - Move! - Get to the top deck.
1398 01:15:30 We're getting out of here.
1399 01:15:50 Ah! Ah!
1400 01:16:10 Activate taser web!
1401 01:16:23 You're messing with things you don't understand.
1402 01:17:07 Oh, my god. What do I do?
1403 01:17:08 Karen, give me an X-ray of the boat
1404 01:17:09 and target all the strongest points.
1405 01:17:15 Web grenade. Web grenade.
1406 01:17:19 Splitter web, go.
1407 01:17:48 - Great job, Peter. - You are 98 percent successful.
1408 01:17:52 Ninety-eight? Yeah, spider-man!
1409 01:17:57 No, no, no. No!
1410 01:18:04 No!
1411 01:18:11 Oh, my god!
1412 01:18:17 No! Ah!
1413 01:18:34 What the hell?
1414 01:18:39 What the hell?
1415 01:18:42 Hi, spider-man.
1416 01:18:44 Band practice, was it?
1417 01:18:52 Look! Look!
1418 01:19:08 Yeah, iron man!
1419 01:19:17 Uh, Mr. stark.
1420 01:19:21 Hey, Mr. stark, could I do anything?
1421 01:19:23 What do you want me to do? Whoa!
1422 01:19:25 I think you've done enough.
1423 01:19:41 - So that's it? - You're just gonna run?
1424 01:19:47 Feds were waiting for us.
1425 01:19:50 Now we're on iron man's radar?
1426 01:19:53 Yeah, I'm running.
1427 01:19:56 You should too.
1428 01:19:57 You know i can't do that.
1429 01:20:00 So now what?
1430 01:20:01 Mason, can you get that high-altitude
1431 01:20:04 seal thing up and running in time?
1432 01:20:07 Seriously?
1433 01:20:08 Yes. You will not regret this.
1434 01:20:14 You in?
1435 01:20:26 Previously on Peter screws the pooch,
1436 01:20:28 I tell you to stay away from this.
1437 01:20:30 Instead, you hacked a multimillion-dollar suit
1438 01:20:33 so you could sneak around behind my back
1439 01:20:35 doing the one thing I told you not to do.
1440 01:20:39 Is everyone okay?
1441 01:20:40 No thanks to you.
1442 01:20:44 No thanks to me?
1443 01:20:47 Those weapons were out there
1444 01:20:49 and I tried to tell you about it,
1445 01:20:50 but you didn't listen.
1446 01:20:51 None of this would've happened
1447 01:20:53 if you had just listened to me.
1448 01:20:54 If you even cared, you'd actually be here.
1449 01:21:02 I did listen, kid.
1450 01:21:03 Who do you think called the FBI, huh?
1451 01:21:05 Do you know I was the only one who believed in you?
1452 01:21:08 Everyone else said I was crazy
1453 01:21:10 to recruit a 14-year-old kid. I'm 15.
1454 01:21:12 No. This is where you zip it, all right?
1455 01:21:14 The adult is talking.
1456 01:21:15 What if somebody had died tonight?
1457 01:21:17 Different story, right? 'Cause that's on you.
1458 01:21:21 And if you died,
1459 01:21:22 I feel like that's on me.
1460 01:21:24 I don't need that on my conscience.
1461 01:21:26 Yes, sir, I'm sorry. Yes.
1462 01:21:27 I understand. Sorry doesn't cut it.
1463 01:21:30 I just wanted to be like you.
1464 01:21:32 And I wanted you to be better.
1465 01:21:35 Okay, it's not working out.
1466 01:21:36 I'm gonna need the suit back.
1467 01:21:38 For how long? Forever.
1468 01:21:39 Yeah, that's how it works. No, no. Please. Please.
1469 01:21:42 Let's have it. You don't understand.
1470 01:21:43 This is all I have. I'm nothing without this suit.
1471 01:21:46 If you're nothing without this suit,
1472 01:21:48 then you shouldn't have it, okay?
1473 01:21:50 God, I sound like my dad.
1474 01:21:54 I don't have any other clothes.
1475 01:21:56 Okay, we'll sort that out.
1476 01:22:09 Hey.
1477 01:22:15 I've been calling you all day.
1478 01:22:17 You didn't answer your phone.
1479 01:22:19 You can't do that.
1480 01:22:20 Then this ferry thing happens.
1481 01:22:23 I've called five police stations.
1482 01:22:26 Five. I called five of your friends.
1483 01:22:28 I called ned's mother. I'm fine. May, I'm okay.
1484 01:22:31 Honestly, just relax. I'm fine.
1485 01:22:34 Cut the bullshit. I know you left detention.
1486 01:22:37 I know you left the hotel room in Washington.
1487 01:22:39 I know you sneak out of this house every night.
1488 01:22:42 That's not fine.
1489 01:22:43 Peter, you have to tell me what's going on.
1490 01:22:45 Just lay it out. It's just me and you.
1491 01:22:50 I lost the stark internship.
1492 01:22:52 What? Yeah.
1493 01:22:54 What happened?
1494 01:22:55 I just thought that i could work really hard
1495 01:22:58 and he could-- he would-- you know.
1496 01:23:00 But...I screwed it up.
1497 01:23:04 Oh, it's okay, it's okay.
1498 01:23:07 It's okay.
1499 01:23:09 I'm sorry i made you worry.
1500 01:23:12 You know I'm not trying to ruin your life.
1501 01:23:14 Yeah, I know.
1502 01:23:16 Just--
1503 01:23:17 I used to sneak out too. Yeah.
1504 01:23:22 And take a shower. You smell.
1505 01:23:24 You smell like-- you smell like garbage.
1506 01:23:28 I know.
1507 01:23:32 Peter, you're a good kid and you're a smart kid,
1508 01:23:35 so just try to keep your head straight, okay?
1509 01:23:38 Okay.
1510 01:23:39 All right, get out of here.
1511 01:23:49 Are you expelled?
1512 01:23:50 Do you have to go to that school on 46th
1513 01:23:52 where their principal has a crossbow?
1514 01:23:54 Pretty sure that's an urban myth,
1515 01:23:55 and, no, I'm not expelled.
1516 01:23:58 You're so lucky.
1517 01:24:21 Muy bueno, se駉r Parker.
1518 01:24:49 Hey.
1519 01:24:50 Hey.
1520 01:24:51 I thought you had calculus fifth period.
1521 01:24:52 Yeah, I was just doing some homecoming stuff.
1522 01:24:56 Hey, look, i--
1523 01:24:57 I just wanted to apologize
1524 01:24:59 about the whole decathlon thing.
1525 01:25:02 It's fine.
1526 01:25:02 Last week, decathlon was the most important thing,
1527 01:25:05 but then i almost died.
1528 01:25:07 No, I just-- I'm--
1529 01:25:09 I just mean that
1530 01:25:10 it was not cool, especially...
1531 01:25:16 Because...
1532 01:25:19 I like you.
1533 01:25:22 I know.
1534 01:25:26 You do?
1535 01:25:27 You're terrible at keeping secrets.
1536 01:25:30 Yeah, you'd be surprised.
1537 01:25:35 I got to get to class, but--
1538 01:25:37 I'd say we should hang out,
1539 01:25:39 but I'm gonna be in detention for...
1540 01:25:41 Uh-huh. Ever, but--
1541 01:25:44 I guess you already have a date to homecoming.
1542 01:25:47 Actually, I was so busy planning it,
1543 01:25:49 I never really got around to that part, so...
1544 01:25:54 Uh, you want to
1545 01:25:55 go with me?
1546 01:25:58 Yeah. Sure.
1547 01:25:59 Really? I mean, great. Cool.
1548 01:26:02 Cool.
1549 01:26:04 I'm actually going that way.
1550 01:26:19 May, I need your help.
1551 01:26:42 Right?
1552 01:26:54 - It's game day. - So what's the plan?
1553 01:26:57 Open the door for her. Mm-hm.
1554 01:26:58 Tell her she looks nice, but not too much
1555 01:27:00 because that's creepy. Don't be creepy.
1556 01:27:02 No. And when I dance with her,
1557 01:27:04 I'm putting my hands on her hips. I got this.
1558 01:27:10 - Love you. - Bye.
1559 01:27:25 You must be Peter.
1560 01:27:28 Yeah.
1561 01:27:30 I'm Liz's dad.
1562 01:27:31 Put 'er there.
1563 01:27:33 Hell of a grip.
1564 01:27:35 Come on in here. Come on.
1565 01:28:01 Hi, Peter.
1566 01:28:02 You look very handsome.
1567 01:28:04 Thank you.
1568 01:28:05 You got his name right?
1569 01:28:08 Freddie? Peter.
1570 01:28:10 Peter. Peter.
1571 01:28:12 I'm gonna go get Liz.
1572 01:28:14 Okay.
1573 01:28:21 You all right, Pete?
1574 01:28:23 Yeah.
1575 01:28:24 Because you look pale.
1576 01:28:28 You want something to drink?
1577 01:28:30 Like a bourbon
1578 01:28:31 or a scotch, or something like that?
1579 01:28:32 I'm not old enough to drink.
1580 01:28:34 That's the right answer.
1581 01:28:38 Wow! Wow, wow, wow,
1582 01:28:40 do you look beautiful.
1583 01:28:41 Please don't embarrass me, dad.
1584 01:28:43 Doesn't she, Pete?
1585 01:28:44 Yeah, you look really good.
1586 01:28:46 Once again, that's the right answer.
1587 01:28:50 Is that a corsage?
1588 01:28:53 Thanks.
1589 01:28:55 Well, hey, I'm your chauffeur,
1590 01:28:56 so let's get this show on the road.
1591 01:28:58 No, no, no, we have to take
1592 01:28:59 some pictures, babe. All right.
1593 01:29:01 Oh, right here. Perfect. Mom.
1594 01:29:04 Okay. Come on, you guys.
1595 01:29:06 Peter, closer.
1596 01:29:10 Smile.
1597 01:29:11 There you go.
1598 01:29:14 Oh.
1599 01:29:19 Sir, you don't have to drive us.
1600 01:29:21 Nah, nah, it's not a big deal.
1601 01:29:22 I'm going out of town. It's right on my way.
1602 01:29:25 He's always coming and going.
1603 01:29:26 Last time. Have fun.
1604 01:29:28 Thank you. Promise.
1605 01:29:29 He's cute. Shh.
1606 01:29:32 See you in a couple of days.
1607 01:29:34 Bye, baby. All right.
1608 01:29:35 Come on, Pedro.
1609 01:29:36 Bye, Peter. Have fun. Yeah, I will.
1610 01:29:48 What are you gonna do, Pete?
1611 01:29:51 What?
1612 01:29:51 When you graduate, what do you think you'll do?
1613 01:29:54 Oh, I don't know. Don't grill him, dad.
1614 01:29:57 Just saying, you know.
1615 01:29:59 All you guys who go to that school
1616 01:30:01 you pretty much have your life planned out, right?
1617 01:30:04 Yeah, no, I'm just a sophomore.
1618 01:30:06 Peter has an internship with Tony stark.
1619 01:30:09 So I think he doesn't have to worry.
1620 01:30:11 Really? Mm-hm.
1621 01:30:12 - Stark? - So cool.
1622 01:30:14 Oh. What do you do?
1623 01:30:17 Actually, I don't intern for him anymore.
1624 01:30:20 Seriously? Yeah, it got...
1625 01:30:23 Boring.
1626 01:30:25 It was boring?
1627 01:30:26 You got to hang out with spider-man.
1628 01:30:28 Really? Spider-man?
1629 01:30:30 Wow. What's he like?
1630 01:30:33 Yeah, he's nice.
1631 01:30:36 Nice man. Solid dude.
1632 01:30:40 Hm.
1633 01:30:43 Look. So cute.
1634 01:30:45 Oh.
1635 01:30:49 I've seen you around, right?
1636 01:30:52 I mean, somewhere.
1637 01:30:53 We've-- have we ever--? Because even the voice--
1638 01:30:56 he does academic decathlon with me.
1639 01:30:58 Oh. And he was at my party.
1640 01:31:00 - Ah. - It was a great party.
1641 01:31:02 Really great, yeah.
1642 01:31:04 Beautiful house, a lot of windows.
1643 01:31:06 You were there for, like, two seconds.
1644 01:31:08 That was--
1645 01:31:09 I was there longer than two seconds.
1646 01:31:11 You disappeared. No.
1647 01:31:14 No, I did not disappear. Yes, you did.
1648 01:31:16 You disappeared like you always do.
1649 01:31:18 Like you did in D.C. too.
1650 01:31:26 That's terrible
1651 01:31:28 what happened down there in D.C. though.
1652 01:31:31 Were you scared?
1653 01:31:33 I'll bet you were glad when your old pal spider-man
1654 01:31:36 showed up in the elevator though, huh?
1655 01:31:40 Yeah, well, I actually didn't go up.
1656 01:31:43 I saw it all from the ground.
1657 01:31:45 Yeah.
1658 01:31:47 Very lucky that he was there that day.
1659 01:31:52 Good old spider-man.
1660 01:31:59 Dad, the light.
1661 01:32:16 Here we are. End of the line.
1662 01:32:19 Thanks, dad.
1663 01:32:20 You head in there, gumdrop.
1664 01:32:22 I'm gonna give Peter the "dad" talk.
1665 01:32:27 Don't let him intimidate you.
1666 01:32:29 Love you.
1667 01:32:30 Love you, gumdrop. Have a safe flight.
1668 01:32:33 Hi.
1669 01:32:35 You guys look so pretty.
1670 01:32:42 Does she know?
1671 01:32:44 Know what?
1672 01:32:46 So she doesn't. Good.
1673 01:32:48 Close to the vest. I admire that.
1674 01:32:51 I've got a few secrets of my own.
1675 01:32:53 Of all the reasons
1676 01:32:55 I didn't want my daughter to date...
1677 01:33:00 Peter,
1678 01:33:01 nothing is more important than family.
1679 01:33:04 You saved my daughter's life.
1680 01:33:05 I could never forget something like that.
1681 01:33:07 So I'm gonna give you one chance.
1682 01:33:10 Are you ready?
1683 01:33:11 You walk through those doors,
1684 01:33:12 you forget any of this happened
1685 01:33:15 and don't you ever,
1686 01:33:17 ever
1687 01:33:18 interfere with my business again.
1688 01:33:21 'Cause if you do,
1689 01:33:23 I'll kill you
1690 01:33:25 and everybody you love.
1691 01:33:29 I'll kill you dead.
1692 01:33:30 That's what I'll do to protect my family, Pete.
1693 01:33:33 Do you understand?
1694 01:33:36 Hey.
1695 01:33:37 I just saved your life. Now what do you say?
1696 01:33:43 Thank you.
1697 01:33:45 You're welcome.
1698 01:33:47 Now, you go on in there,
1699 01:33:49 you show my daughter a good time, okay?
1700 01:33:53 Just not too good.
1701 01:34:49 Hey.
1702 01:34:52 What did he say to you?
1703 01:34:58 I've got to go.
1704 01:35:01 I'm-- I'm sorry.
1705 01:35:03 You don't deserve this.
1706 01:35:24 Ah!
1707 01:35:27 He gave you a choice.
1708 01:35:28 You chose wrong. What the hell?
1709 01:35:30 What's with the crappy costume?
1710 01:35:35 My web-shooters.
1711 01:35:42 Whoa!
1712 01:35:44 I wasn't sure about this thing at first,
1713 01:35:47 but...Damn.
1714 01:35:54 Oh, gross.
1715 01:36:07 Why did he send you here? Guess you'll never know.
1716 01:36:14 Huh? Nice shot!
1717 01:36:21 Yes!
1718 01:36:23 Ned, the guy with the wings is Liz's dad.
1719 01:36:25 What? I know. I gotta tell Mr. stark.
1720 01:36:27 Call happy hogan. He's Mr. stark's head of security.
1721 01:36:30 Get a computer and track my phone for me.
1722 01:36:31 Are you gonna be okay? Hurry, we gotta catch him
1723 01:36:34 before he leaves town.
1724 01:36:36 I'm sorry about dinner,
1725 01:36:37 but I know when branzino's fresh,
1726 01:36:40 and that was not fresh, okay?
1727 01:36:42 So-- ah!
1728 01:36:43 Flash, I need your car and your phone.
1729 01:36:45 Sir, technically, this is my dad's car, sir, so I can't--
1730 01:36:52 ah!
1731 01:36:56 Hello, ned? Hey, hey, can you hear me?
1732 01:36:59 Go for ned.
1733 01:37:00 Ned, I need you to track my phone for me.
1734 01:37:03 Yeah, but where is it?
1735 01:37:07 Genius move. Okay, he just passed
1736 01:37:09 the gamestop on Jackson Avenue.
1737 01:37:11 Hey, where are the headlights on this thing?
1738 01:37:13 I'm in flash's car. I'll pull the specs.
1739 01:37:15 Okay, you're on speakerphone.
1740 01:37:17 You stole flash's car? Awesome.
1741 01:37:19 Yeah, it's awesome! It's awe--
1742 01:37:20 oh! Get out of the way!
1743 01:37:22 Get out of the way! Move! Move!
1744 01:37:23 Peter, are you okay? I've never driven before.
1745 01:37:25 Only with may in parking lots.
1746 01:37:27 This is a huge step up. Whoa!
1747 01:37:30 Hey, have you gotten through to happy yet?
1748 01:37:32 Uh, yeah. I'm working on it.
1749 01:37:34 I just gotta backdoor the phone system.
1750 01:37:39 Guy in the chair.
1751 01:37:46 Takeoff in nine minutes.
1752 01:37:47 Hello? Hello? Who is this?
1753 01:37:49 Mr. happy, it's ned. Who?
1754 01:37:51 I'm an associate of Peter Parker.
1755 01:37:52 Got something important to tell you--
1756 01:37:54 you gotta be shitting me. Damn.
1757 01:37:57 Hey, ned, how we coming with those headlights?
1758 01:38:00 Uh...
1759 01:38:01 Round knob to the left of the steering wheel,
1760 01:38:03 turn clockwise. Left, okay.
1761 01:38:05 Okay, perfect. So where's my phone now?
1762 01:38:07 Um...He stopped in an old industrial park in Brooklyn.
1763 01:38:10 What? That makes no sense!
1764 01:38:12 I thought he said he was going out of town!
1765 01:38:13 Weird. Oh, I reached Mr. happy.
1766 01:38:15 Don't think he likes you, by the way.
1767 01:38:17 Sounded like he was catching a flight.
1768 01:38:18 Something about taking off in nine minutes.
1769 01:38:21 What? He was surrounded by boxes.
1770 01:38:23 Boxes? It's moving day.
1771 01:38:24 It's moving day. He's gonna rob that plane.
1772 01:38:26 I gotta stop him!
1773 01:38:31 All right, wheels up in eight minutes.
1774 01:38:33 We just got to load Tony's old hulkbuster armor,
1775 01:38:36 prototype for cap's new shield, and the meging--
1776 01:38:39 the Meg-- the-- Thor's magic belt.
1777 01:38:44 Okay, slow down. You're getting close.
1778 01:38:46 It's on your right. What?
1779 01:38:47 Turn right! Turn right!
1780 01:38:57 Peter, are you okay? Yeah.
1781 01:39:00 Just keep trying to get through to happy.
1782 01:39:03 It's been an honor, spider-man.
1783 01:39:06 What are you doing here? There's a dance.
1784 01:39:09 Uh...
1785 01:39:12 I'm looking
1786 01:39:15 at porn.
1787 01:39:55 Hey!
1788 01:39:58 Surprised?
1789 01:40:00 Oh, hey, Pete.
1790 01:40:01 I didn't hear you come in.
1791 01:40:03 It's over. I've got you.
1792 01:40:05 You know, i gotta tell you, Pete,
1793 01:40:08 I really, really admire your grit.
1794 01:40:13 I see why Liz likes you.
1795 01:40:15 I do. When you first came to the house,
1796 01:40:18 I wasn't sure. I thought, "really?"
1797 01:40:20 But I get it now.
1798 01:40:21 How could you do this to her?
1799 01:40:23 To her? I'm not doing anything to her, Pete.
1800 01:40:26 I'm doing this for her.
1801 01:40:29 Huh, yeah.
1802 01:40:34 Peter,
1803 01:40:37 you're young.
1804 01:40:38 You don't understand how the world works.
1805 01:40:40 Yeah, but I understand
1806 01:40:41 that selling weapons to criminals is wrong.
1807 01:40:43 How do you think your buddy stark paid for that tower?
1808 01:40:46 Or any of his little toys?
1809 01:40:47 Those people, Pete, those people up there,
1810 01:40:49 the rich and the powerful, they do whatever they want.
1811 01:40:52 Guys like us, like you and me,
1812 01:40:55 they don't care about us.
1813 01:40:57 We build their roads and we fight all their wars
1814 01:41:00 and everything, but they don't care about us.
1815 01:41:02 We have to pick up after 'em.
1816 01:41:04 We have to eat their table scraps.
1817 01:41:08 That's how it is.
1818 01:41:10 I know you know what I'm talking about, Peter.
1819 01:41:12 Why are you telling me this?
1820 01:41:14 Because I want you to understand.
1821 01:41:17 And...
1822 01:41:18 I needed a little time to get her airborne.
1823 01:41:35 I'm sorry, Peter.
1824 01:41:39 What are you talking about?
1825 01:41:40 That thing hasn't even touched me yet.
1826 01:41:43 True. Then again,
1827 01:41:45 wasn't really trying to.
1828 01:41:52 Chief, they're powering up engines.
1829 01:41:54 Okay. Yeah, yeah. Come on, come on, come on.
1830 01:42:43 Oh, god.
1831 01:42:50 Okay, ready?
1832 01:43:00 Hello!
1833 01:43:05 Hello!
1834 01:43:06 Please. Hey.
1835 01:43:08 Hey, please. I'm down here.
1836 01:43:11 I'm down here. I'm stuck.
1837 01:43:12 I'm stuck. I can't move. I can't--
1838 01:43:31 if you're nothing without this suit,
1839 01:43:34 then you shouldn't have it.
1840 01:43:42 Come on, Peter.
1841 01:43:44 Come on, spider-man.
1842 01:43:46 Come on, spider-man.
1843 01:43:48 Come on, spider-man.
1844 01:43:52 Come on, spider-man!
1845 01:44:44 Launch for intercept. Green light. Green light.
1846 01:44:47 Oh, yeah.
1847 01:45:04 Retroreflective panels engaged.
1848 01:45:17 Got a visual on the plane,
1849 01:45:19 but I'm feeling a little resistance.
1850 01:45:21 It's probably just drag on the new turbines.
1851 01:45:27 Ah!
1852 01:45:30 Whoa!
1853 01:45:35 Look out for the cloaking cameras.
1854 01:45:38 Stay in the blind spots.
1855 01:45:49 Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
1856 01:45:51 Deploy high-altitude vacuum seal.
1857 01:45:54 This better work, Mason.
1858 01:46:00 Trust me, boss, even one of those boxes
1859 01:46:03 and we are set for life. Yeah.
1860 01:46:15 Hey! Ah! Whew.
1861 01:46:16 You have 30 seconds to get to the cockpit
1862 01:46:19 and override their security.
1863 01:46:32 Cloning transponder signal.
1864 01:46:35 Launching decoy drone.
1865 01:46:37 Whoa.
1866 01:46:40 Entering new coordinates.
1867 01:46:48 Good, so it's on its way?
1868 01:46:50 Yes, sir, right on course. Okay, thank you.
1869 01:46:54 All right.
1870 01:47:08 Hot dog.
1871 01:47:59 Just a typical homecoming
1872 01:48:00 on the outside of an invisible jet-- ah!
1873 01:48:03 --Fighting my girlfriend's dad.
1874 01:48:06 Oh! Oh! Ah!
1875 01:48:15 Oh, god!
1876 01:48:23 Whew. I can't believe that worked.
1877 01:49:02 Chief, they're losing altitude. Get out of there.
1878 01:49:05 I'm not going home empty-handed.
1879 01:49:17 Oh, my god.
1880 01:49:32 - Get out of there. - What are you doing?
1881 01:49:35 Please turn! Please turn!
1882 01:51:11 Hey, Pedro.
1883 01:52:00 Bingo.
1884 01:52:17 Your wingsuit.
1885 01:52:18 Your wingsuit's gonna explode!
1886 01:52:29 Time to go home, Pete.
1887 01:52:30 I'm trying to save you!
1888 01:52:43 No!
1889 01:52:47 No.
1890 01:52:49 No!
1891 01:53:01 Ah! Ah!
1892 01:54:30 It looked so insane. That whole--
1893 01:54:32 like, it was just crazy.
1894 01:54:34 He was just, like...
1895 01:54:36 And you were like, "ah!"
1896 01:54:38 And then I just hit him with the "fffew."
1897 01:54:41 It was so-- oh, my god.
1898 01:54:43 You saved me.
1899 01:54:45 It was awesome.
1900 01:54:53 Hey, Liz.
1901 01:54:55 I'm gonna miss you.
1902 01:54:58 Bye.
1903 01:55:00 Liz.
1904 01:55:07 Liz, look, I'm so sorry.
1905 01:55:09 You say that a lot.
1906 01:55:11 What are you sorry for this time?
1907 01:55:15 The dance?
1908 01:55:17 That was a pretty crappy thing to do.
1909 01:55:20 Well, yeah, but i-- i mean, your dad--
1910 01:55:22 I can't imagine what you're going through.
1911 01:55:24 If there's anything i can do to help...
1912 01:55:26 I guess we're moving to Oregon.
1913 01:55:29 Mom says it's nice there, so that's cool.
1914 01:55:33 Anyways, dad doesn't want us here
1915 01:55:36 during the trial, so...
1916 01:55:39 Liz, i-- i--
1917 01:55:42 bye, Peter.
1918 01:55:44 Whatever's going on with you,
1919 01:55:46 I hope you figure it out.
1920 01:56:00 Congratulations, decathlon national champions.
1921 01:56:05 Yeah!
1922 01:56:06 I'm gonna have to put this back in the trophy case soon,
1923 01:56:08 but just for motivation right now at this practice.
1924 01:56:11 I'm a little ahead of the game,
1925 01:56:13 but we will need a new team captain next year.
1926 01:56:15 So I am appointing Michelle.
1927 01:56:19 Yeah!
1928 01:56:23 Uh, thank you.
1929 01:56:24 My-- my friends call me mj.
1930 01:56:25 I thought you didn't have any friends.
1931 01:56:29 I didn't.
1932 01:56:35 I gotta go. Hey, where you going?
1933 01:56:39 What are you hiding, Peter?
1934 01:56:44 I'm just kidding. I don't care. Bye.
1935 01:56:46 All right, so we should run some drills.
1936 01:56:48 Yeah.
1937 01:56:56 Hey, happy. What-- what are you doing here?
1938 01:57:01 I really owe you one.
1939 01:57:04 I don't know what I would do without this job.
1940 01:57:07 I mean, before I met Tony--
1941 01:57:39 so how long you been here?
1942 01:57:41 Long enough to be awkward. Boss wants to see you.
1943 01:57:43 Is he here too?
1944 01:57:45 In the toilet? No, he's upstate.
1945 01:57:47 Upstate? Like, upstate-upstate?
1946 01:57:50 Yeah, let's go.
1947 01:57:52 Take a look.
1948 01:57:53 It's pretty impressive, huh?
1949 01:57:56 They just finished remodeling the whole thing.
1950 01:58:25 You don't see that every day. Oh, there they are.
1951 01:58:29 How was the ride up? Good.
1952 01:58:32 Give me a minute with the kid.
1953 01:58:35 Seriously? Yeah.
1954 01:58:37 I got to talk to the kid.
1955 01:58:39 I'll be close behind.
1956 01:58:40 How about a loose follow?
1957 01:58:41 All right? Boundaries are good.
1958 01:58:49 Sorry I took your suit.
1959 01:58:50 I mean, you had it coming.
1960 01:58:52 Actually, it turns out it was the perfect
1961 01:58:53 tough-love moment that you needed, right?
1962 01:58:55 To urge you on? Wouldn't you think?
1963 01:58:57 Don't you think? I guess.
1964 01:58:59 Let's just say it was.
1965 01:59:00 Mr. stark, I really--
1966 01:59:03 you screwed the pooch hard, bigtime.
1967 01:59:05 But then you did the right thing.
1968 01:59:07 Took the dog to the free clinic,
1969 01:59:09 you raised the hybrid puppies.
1970 01:59:11 All right, not my best analogy.
1971 01:59:14 I was wrong about you.
1972 01:59:16 I think, with a little more mentoring,
1973 01:59:18 you could be a real asset to the team.
1974 01:59:23 To the-- to the team? Yeah. Anyway,
1975 01:59:24 there's about 50 reporters behind that door.
1976 01:59:27 Real ones, not bloggers.
1977 01:59:29 When you're ready,
1978 01:59:31 why don't you try that on?
1979 01:59:33 And I'll introduce the world
1980 01:59:34 to the newest official member of the avengers:
1981 01:59:37 Spider-man.
1982 01:59:41 I-- heh.
1983 01:59:44 Yeah, give that a look.
1984 01:59:52 So after the press conference,
1985 01:59:53 happy will show you to your room, your new quarters.
1986 01:59:55 Where's he between? He's next to vision?
1987 01:59:58 Yeah, vision's not big on doors.
1988 02:00:00 It's fun. Or walls.
1989 02:00:02 You'll fit right in.
1990 02:00:10 Thank you, Mr. stark,
1991 02:00:13 but I'm-- I'm good.
1992 02:00:14 You're good? How are you good?
1993 02:00:17 Well, I mean, I'd rather just stay
1994 02:00:20 on the ground for a little while.
1995 02:00:21 Friendly neighborhood spider-man.
1996 02:00:24 Somebody's got to look out for the little guy, right?
1997 02:00:26 You're turning me down?
1998 02:00:28 You better think about this. Look at that.
1999 02:00:31 Look at me.
2000 02:00:32 Last chance. Yes or no?
2001 02:00:34 No. Okay.
2002 02:00:35 It's kind of a Springsteen-y,
2003 02:00:36 working-class hero vibe that I dig.
2004 02:00:38 Ah, happy will take you home.
2005 02:00:41 Yeah? Yeah.
2006 02:00:42 Mind waiting in the car? I need a minute.
2007 02:00:46 Thank you, Mr. stark.
2008 02:00:47 Yes, Mr. Parker, very well.
2009 02:00:49 See you around. Okay.
2010 02:00:59 That was a test, right?
2011 02:01:00 There's nobody back there?
2012 02:01:03 Yes, you passed.
2013 02:01:04 All right, skedaddle there, young buck.
2014 02:01:06 Thank you, Mr. stark. Thank you.
2015 02:01:08 Yeah, thank you.
2016 02:01:11 Told you he was a good kid.
2017 02:01:16 Pepper! Pepper!
2018 02:01:19 Where's the kid?
2019 02:01:20 He left. Everybody's waiting.
2020 02:01:22 He actually made a really mature choice.
2021 02:01:24 It just surprised the heck out of us.
2022 02:01:26 Did you guys screw this up?
2023 02:01:27 He told the kid to wait in the car.
2024 02:01:28 Are you kidding me? I have a room full of people waiting
2025 02:01:31 for some big announcement. What am I gonna tell them?
2026 02:01:34 Think of something. How about, um,
2027 02:01:36 hap, you still got that ring?
2028 02:01:39 Do i-- i--
2029 02:01:39 the engagement ring. Are you kidding?
2030 02:01:41 I've been carrying this since 2008.
2031 02:01:47 Okay.
2032 02:01:47 I think I can think of something better than that.
2033 02:01:49 Well, it would buy us a little time.
2034 02:01:53 Like we need time.
2035 02:01:55 I can't believe you have that thing in your pocket.
2036 02:01:57 Let me to get the door for you, hon?
2037 02:01:59 I got it.
2038 02:02:15 Aunt may, did you do dinner already?
2039 02:02:29 May?
2040 02:02:52 What the f--?!
2041 02:05:07 Look who it is.
2042 02:05:11 What are the odds you and I'd end up
2043 02:05:13 at the same summer camp?
2044 02:05:15 Relax.
2045 02:05:16 This? It's not on you.
2046 02:05:18 It's on our little spider friend.
2047 02:05:22 I've got some boys on the outside
2048 02:05:24 who would love to meet him.
2049 02:05:26 You know, take a picture,
2050 02:05:27 slice his throat, put his head in a dryer.
2051 02:05:29 And I heard a rumor...
2052 02:05:35 You know who he is.
2053 02:05:41 If I knew who he was,
2054 02:05:43 he'd already be dead.
2055 02:05:49 Toomes, your family's here!
2056 02:12:31 Hi, I'm captain America, here to talk to you
2057 02:12:34 about one of the most valuable traits
2058 02:12:36 a soldier or student can have.
2059 02:12:39 Patience.
2060 02:12:40 Sometimes Patience is the key to victory.
2061 02:12:42 Sometimes it leads to very little
2062 02:12:44 and it seems like it's not worth it.
2063 02:12:47 And you wonder
2064 02:12:49 why you waited so long
2065 02:12:50 for something so disappointing.
2066 02:12:57 How many more of these?
