辣手保姆(The Babysitter)(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:00:22 I don't need it. I'm telling you.
2 00:00:24 Just because you don't feel sick nowdoesn't mean you don't need the shot.
3 00:00:28 I never get sick, okay?You can take that and give it to Barry.
4 00:00:31 -His nose is always running.-What are you giving me shit for?
5 00:00:34 I saw you earlier today. We said hi.I said, "Cole." You said, "Mr. Daisy."
6 00:00:38 Why are you giving me shit today?I mean, it's just a needle, man.
7 00:00:44 Damn. Come here, get the shot.Ain't nothing to be scared of.
8 00:00:47 There's 62 kids came here,got a shot, no problem.
9 00:00:50 You come in here, take ten minutes?I got 84 kids more to go. Okay?
10 00:00:54 We're boys. Be cool. Shit, man.Are you gonna take this shot?
11 00:00:57 Step over here and take the shot,just like you'd take some ass.
12 00:01:00 There's nothing to be scared of.
13 00:01:03 I'm not scared.
14 00:01:06 [Cole screaming]
15 00:01:16 Pussy!
16 00:01:22 [school bell rings]
17 00:01:27 [Melanie] Did you know only one babywas born on the Mayflower?
18 00:01:30 How crazy is that shit?
19 00:01:32 His name was literally Oceanus.
20 00:01:34 He didn't even have a nationality.
21 00:01:37 Just a citizen of the sea, I guess.
22 00:01:39 What class did you learn that in?
23 00:01:41 [scoffs] No one learns anything in class.That's why we have the Internet.
24 00:01:46 [rap music playing over speakers]
25 00:01:49 [Melanie sighs] There's my dad.
26 00:01:51 [Melanie's dad] Melanie, get over here.
27 00:01:53 It was his high-school dream car.
28 00:01:56 He got it after the divorceto make Mom jealous, but...
29 00:01:59 -it didn't work because it's a car.-[Melanie's dad] Now.
30 00:02:03 Dad, can we give Cole a ride home?
31 00:02:07 Cole, are your parents expecting youto take the bus home?
32 00:02:11 -I guess so.-Yeah, they are.
33 00:02:12 So, you should take the bus, okay, sport?
34 00:02:14 Sorry, dude.I'll see you, though, neighbor, huh?
35 00:02:17 -I didn't---What's that?
36 00:02:18 [engine revving]
37 00:02:21 -NASCAR Nation, bitch. Whoo!-[Melanie] Dad--
38 00:02:27 [Melanie] Dad!
39 00:02:43 [Jeremy]Ooh-whah, ooh-whah. Ooh-whah, ooh-whah.
40 00:02:46 Well, well, well.
41 00:02:48 [Jeremy] Hey, Colonoscopy.How's it hanging?
42 00:02:52 I don't know. Okay?
43 00:02:53 Well, speaking of hanging,have your balls dropped yet?
44 00:02:56 -[boys laughing]-[Cole mumbling]
45 00:03:01 I didn't catch that.
46 00:03:02 I said,"Why are you so interested in my balls?"
47 00:03:05 Last thing he cares about is your balls.
48 00:03:07 [Jeremy] Yeah, 'cause on Saturday,I hooked up with Shelly MacEntyre.
49 00:03:10 The sophomore?
50 00:03:11 The sophomore.But in many ways, she was a senior.
51 00:03:15 -I don't believe you.-You don't need to believe him.
52 00:03:18 It's not like your belief will validatewhat happens to his dick.
53 00:03:20 Wanna know how it was?
54 00:03:24 No, not really.
55 00:03:25 Well, see,as a 14-year-old in that kind of situation
56 00:03:28 with a 16-year-oldthat looks like Shelly MacEntyre,
57 00:03:30 it was overwhelming, man.
58 00:03:32 I mean, she is a woman.
59 00:03:35 Fully-developed, man.It's crazy, man. It's... [grunts]
60 00:03:38 Man, you know what I'm saying?
61 00:03:41 I said, do you know what I'm saying?
62 00:03:44 You just said it didn't matterif I believed you.
63 00:03:46 -Well, I changed my mind, bitch.-Sorry, I wasn't--
64 00:03:52 [Jeremy] Oh, my God. He's so weird.[laughs]
65 00:03:55 Ooh-whah, ooh-whah. Ooh-whah, ooh-whah.
66 00:03:58 [woman] Hey!
67 00:04:06 Did you just touch Cole?
68 00:04:08 -So, what if I did?-[woman] Jeremy, check it out.
69 00:04:11 You so much as think about Cole again...
70 00:04:15 and I'm gonna...
71 00:04:17 [inaudible dialogue]
72 00:04:18 ♪ The girls wanna be herThe boys wanna be her ♪
73 00:04:22 You crazy bitch.
74 00:04:25 ♪ The girls wanna be her ♪
75 00:04:27 -[tire hissing]-Now get out of here!
76 00:04:30 Before I run you over,you little Pap smear.
77 00:04:34 -Hey, Coley.-[Cole] Hey, Bee.
78 00:04:39 These are new.
79 00:04:40 Yeah, I have to wear them sometimes.
80 00:04:42 They supposedly help strengthenmy left eye,
81 00:04:45 -but I can't tell the difference.-You look pretty strong to me.
82 00:04:49 You skin your palms?
83 00:04:51 -It doesn't hurt.-Yeah, it does. Come here.
84 00:05:02 -They bother you a lot?-No.
85 00:05:06 You look away when you lie, dude.They the ones that egg your house?
86 00:05:11 [sighs, clicks tongue]You gotta punch them in the dick.
87 00:05:15 And if they're chasing you,wait until they've almost got you,
88 00:05:18 drop like a bag of rocks,then when they trip over you,
89 00:05:21 and they're on the ground,kick them in the dick.
90 00:05:27 -Hey, so, tell me, how's the folks?-Better, I think.
91 00:05:30 Hotel therapy's working?
92 00:05:32 [chuckles] No, come on, it's great.
93 00:05:34 I mean, they're happy,we get to hang out, and I get paid.
94 00:05:38 -I'm like your little Protestant.-[chuckles] What?
95 00:05:41 'Cause, like, I have to pay youto hang out with me.
96 00:05:44 Are you trying to say "prostitute"?
97 00:05:46 Oh, my God--
98 00:05:47 No, that would make me the prostituteand your parents the clients.
99 00:05:50 That is a terrible analogy.That is the worst one ever.
100 00:05:54 -Oh...-Besides,
101 00:05:55 I'd wanna hang out with you either way.
102 00:05:58 Really?
103 00:05:59 One hundred percent.
104 00:06:01 I got two years tops before you'retoo cool to hang out with me.
105 00:06:05 I'll never be too cool.
106 00:06:11 [Bee]Hey, is that the roof of your tree house?
107 00:06:13 [Cole]Yeah, we just started to take it down.
108 00:06:16 I-- I don't care. I mean, my, uh--
109 00:06:18 Tree houses are for kids anyway.
110 00:06:21 There's a lot of good memoriesin there, right?
111 00:06:25 Yeah.
112 00:06:26 All right, tomorrow night. You. Me. Party.
113 00:06:30 Sounds good.
114 00:06:33 [gulps]
115 00:06:34 [Bee grunts]
116 00:06:40 [gulps]
117 00:06:42 E.T. fingers.
118 00:06:43 [both buzzing]
119 00:06:46 -All right. See you, Cee.-Bye-bye, Bee.
120 00:06:49 [car door squeaks]
121 00:06:51 Gotta get that door fixed.You're still giving this to me, right?
122 00:06:54 -One hundred percent.-Can't have a sticky door on my car.
123 00:07:23 Hey, Mom!
124 00:07:24 [Mom] Hey! Cole.
125 00:07:27 Cole, can you hand me oneof those traps, please?
126 00:07:31 Ow.
127 00:07:32 -Thanks. Hi.-Hi.
128 00:07:34 [grunts] Thanks, buddy.
129 00:07:37 [groans] God. God.
130 00:07:40 Mom, how can you be under there?There's like a trillion spiders.
131 00:07:42 [Mom] Cole, I don't like it under here.It's pretty much the worst.
132 00:07:47 -Do you think I'm a pussy, Mom?-[thud] Ow.
133 00:07:50 [Mom] Do you know what that word means?
134 00:07:51 -[Cole] Yeah, like, afraid of everything.-Ow.
135 00:07:54 Um...
136 00:07:56 Huh.
137 00:07:58 Well... [sighs]
138 00:08:00 I think... you are at a time in your life
139 00:08:05 where a lot of things are scary.
140 00:08:08 But as you get older, those same thingswill stop frightening you as much.
141 00:08:14 Okay?
142 00:08:17 It's gonna be okay.
143 00:08:19 [Cole] You should really get somebug spray to kill the spiders in there.
144 00:08:23 What have they done to you?They eat other dirty bugs.
145 00:08:26 Hey, will you get me a lemonade?
146 00:08:28 -Yep.-Thanks.
147 00:08:31 Mom, I know "pussy" also means "vagina."I'm not retarded.
148 00:08:36 Cole Johnson. Do not say "retarded."
149 00:08:40 -But I can say "pussy" or "vagi--"-[drill whirring]
150 00:08:43 Don't say it, okay?
151 00:08:44 Go get me a lemonade.
152 00:08:50 Oh, my God, he said "pussy."
153 00:08:52 [man] Breathe in. Breathe out.
154 00:08:54 -Unclench that sphincter.-[Cole] Okay.
155 00:08:56 -How those mirrors looking?-Looking good.
156 00:08:59 Parking brakes?
157 00:09:01 Nope.
158 00:09:02 -Hands?-Ten and two.
159 00:09:05 Engage.
160 00:09:05 [engine revs, fades]
161 00:09:11 Dad, did you know that seven teenagersdie a day from driving?
162 00:09:15 Really? Wow.
163 00:09:17 Did you know that, uh, 14 teenagersdie a day from over-worrying?
164 00:09:22 I went on the Internet,
165 00:09:23 and there's pictures of them.They die like this:
166 00:09:30 Maybe next week.
167 00:09:32 All right, buddy, sure. You wanna swap?
168 00:09:34 -Yeah.-Good. All right. You did good.
169 00:09:37 You started the car,you put the seat belt on.
170 00:09:39 Don't worry about it, pal.There's no rush.
171 00:09:42 It's okay to be scared.It's not a big deal, okay?
172 00:09:47 Hey, let me ask you something.Do your friends--
173 00:09:49 Do they make fun of youfor having a babysitter?
174 00:09:52 Yeah.
175 00:09:53 But then they see herand get really jealous.
176 00:09:56 Yeah. Heck, yeah, they do. [chuckles]
177 00:09:58 I don't know about you, buddy,but I'm feeling like a cop.
178 00:10:02 I'm craving some donuts.
179 00:10:04 [shouting]
180 00:10:08 [Dad] All right!
181 00:10:10 [both laughing]
182 00:10:18 What are you watching?
183 00:10:19 Your dad is bingeing on Mad Men.
184 00:10:21 Again.
185 00:10:23 You wouldn't like it.
186 00:10:25 It's on HBO?
187 00:10:26 -[chuckles]-No, it's not-- It's not dirty, buddy.
188 00:10:28 It's not on HBO.
189 00:10:29 It's dense, you know.So, it might go over your head.
190 00:10:32 When you get a little older,we'll binge-watch it together.
191 00:10:35 How about that?
192 00:10:36 -[Cole] All right.-Cole, will you clean up the toys
193 00:10:39 in the hallway for me?
194 00:10:40 Okay, Mom. Jeez.
195 00:10:41 Thank you.
196 00:10:48 [Cole] Much cleaner.
197 00:11:14 Who cares?
198 00:11:16 Hey. Oh.
199 00:11:17 Hey, that doesn't seem safe at all.
200 00:11:19 -I can handle it.-Yeah. No, I get it.
201 00:11:21 Stop. Stop.
202 00:11:22 And hand me the knife.
203 00:11:25 Fabulous.Why you cutting up your car with a knife?
204 00:11:28 I'm gonna switch the roofwith a fastback,
205 00:11:30 -so it's aerodynamic.-Uh-huh.
206 00:11:32 It's gonna give me more downforceon the turns.
207 00:11:34 When it hits the ramp,it'll do a barrel roll
208 00:11:36 and smash into the crash zoneexactly how I intend--
209 00:11:38 Got it, got it.I applaud your passion for aerodynamics.
210 00:11:41 I absolutely do, but only use thisif you're cutting a flank steak.
211 00:11:44 And don't do that. That's my job.
212 00:11:46 And if you take that job,what am I doing at this house?
213 00:11:49 Do you want me to put it back?
214 00:11:51 [Dad] No. I'm gonna put thisin the dishwasher,
215 00:11:53 'cause it's coated in my sweat and fear.
216 00:11:57 My parents are going away again.I think they go to have sex,
217 00:12:00 but it just makes me feel like they goto get away from me.
218 00:12:04 They're definitely having sex.
219 00:12:06 They probably have sexwhen you're home, too.
220 00:12:08 Besides, I bet Bee has boys overat your place all the time doing it.
221 00:12:12 Nope. No.
222 00:12:13 No way. Not a chance.
223 00:12:14 Yeah. That's what babysitters do.
224 00:12:18 They put the kids down,sneak their boyfriends in. Doing it.
225 00:12:22 Seriously, have you ever been awakeafter she's fallen asleep?
226 00:12:26 I dare you to stay up tonight. You'll see.
227 00:12:29 I'm gonna find out.
228 00:12:31 -Perv.-No! I'm choking!
229 00:12:34 -[Melanie laughing]-[Cole shouting]
230 00:13:15 [boy] Pussy!
231 00:13:17 [school bell rings]
232 00:13:19 Honey, not that I'm rushing you,but weren't we supposed to leave at five?
233 00:13:23 [Mom] No, honey,5:30 to avoid holiday traffic.
234 00:13:25 We were supposed to leave at five.
235 00:13:27 Don't move the furniture around.We just did the floors.
236 00:13:29 -I don't want your mom yelling.-[Cole] Got it.
237 00:13:31 I don't yell at you.I just speak in all caps.
238 00:13:34 Right. That's what I love about her.
239 00:13:36 -[doorbell rings]-Here. Get that. It's probably Bee.
240 00:13:38 [Cole] Okay.
241 00:13:40 -[Mom] Can you hurry up?-[Dad] Yes.
242 00:13:44 [exhales deeply]
243 00:13:48 -What up, Cee?-What up, Bee?
244 00:13:50 [both buzzing]
245 00:13:51 -[Mom] Hey, Bee. How are you?-Oh, you know, can't complain.
246 00:13:54 -[Mom] Good.-Where to this weekend?
247 00:13:56 -Uh... The Hyatt. Living large.-Mm!
248 00:13:58 [Dad] Can't find it!
249 00:13:59 Uh, try the bottom drawerunder your Invisalign.
250 00:14:03 Um, anyway, you know the drill.
251 00:14:05 No violent movies,no junk food, bed by ten.
252 00:14:08 -[Cole] Mom.-Bed by 10:30?
253 00:14:10 -[Cole] You serious?-[Bee] Anything else?
254 00:14:11 Uh, there is not a bathing suitin that bedroom.
255 00:14:13 [Mom] Then, honey,I don't know what to tell you.
256 00:14:16 -I'm not up there.-[Dad] Okay.
257 00:14:17 [sighs]
258 00:14:18 -He's totally gonna bring his jean shorts.-[Cole] Mom, he calls them jorts.
259 00:14:22 -Well, we'll be fine. I can handle him.-I know. You're the best.
260 00:14:25 -[Dad] I'm bringing my jorts.-[Mom] I knew it!
261 00:14:28 -[Dad] I'm bringing my jorts.-I knew it. Great.
262 00:14:31 I will be the envy of women everywhere.
263 00:14:33 Hey, uh, Bee,call us if there's any trouble, okay?
264 00:14:36 -Cole, don't cause any trouble.-[Cole] Dad, I know.
265 00:14:38 You know what, honey?
266 00:14:40 -You got your flu shot, so no exertion.-[Cole] Mom.
267 00:14:42 -Yeah, no running around. Board games.-[Cole] Got it. Okay?
268 00:14:47 Hey, Cole, remember,you're the man of the house now.
269 00:14:50 That's sweet. You are.
270 00:14:51 -We love you. Bye, Bee.-I love you. Have fun.
271 00:14:54 -[Dad] But not too much fun.-[Mom] Not too much.
272 00:14:56 [Foghat's"I Just Want to Make Love to You" playing]
273 00:15:06 ♪ I don't want you cook my bread ♪
274 00:15:09 ♪ I don't want you make my bed ♪
275 00:15:13 ♪ I don't want you to be true ♪
276 00:15:17 ♪ I just want to make love to you ♪
277 00:15:29 ♪ I don't want you be no slave ♪
278 00:15:32 ♪ I don't want you to be sad and blue ♪
279 00:15:36 ♪ I just want to make love to you ♪
280 00:15:42 [Cole] No way you're gonna beat my dive.
281 00:15:48 So, you're basically saying,intergalactic dream team on a mission.
282 00:15:52 -Yeah. So, there's an epic villain, right?-Right.
283 00:15:56 Okay, so, you have to fill a starship...
284 00:15:58 full of the best people or aliensor robots to take them down.
285 00:16:03 -How many seats have I got?-Five.
286 00:16:05 -Five?-Six, if you need, like, a duo.
287 00:16:07 But you can't have a Predatorand Xenomorph.
288 00:16:09 They'd fight. The mission would be futile.
289 00:16:11 No, no, okay, I get it.
290 00:16:13 All right. One... Kirk.
291 00:16:16 Two, Picard.
292 00:16:17 Three, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblumfrom Independence Day.
293 00:16:20 Five, Ripley, and six...Are you ready for this shit?
294 00:16:25 A Xenomorph egg.
295 00:16:27 -No way.-Yeah.
296 00:16:29 Yes. Yes. Okay. Here's the plan.
297 00:16:31 Kirk and Picard team up to captain,then when they get close,
298 00:16:34 they send Will and Goldblumto get inside the lair.
299 00:16:37 -They have experience with that.-Fair.
300 00:16:39 Now, this whole time,Ripley's been bitching
301 00:16:41 about the Xenomorph egg and shit,'cause that's her move.
302 00:16:45 But she's gotta do this.
303 00:16:46 -It's the only way to save the world.-The universe.
304 00:16:48 Right! Exactly!
305 00:16:49 So,Will and Goldblum get her inside the lair.
306 00:16:52 Ripley personally drops off the egg,the facehugger attacks the big bad!
307 00:16:57 Ripley makes it back to Will and Goldblum,the big bad attacks them,
308 00:17:00 they narrowly escape.
309 00:17:02 Kirk and Picard supply coveras the spacecraft returns home,
310 00:17:05 then they peace out of there. Meanwhile,the big bad starts feeling like shit...
311 00:17:09 -[groaning]-[both shouting]
312 00:17:14 He's out!
313 00:17:20 Who said he was a he?
314 00:17:23 -Shut up. A woman just saved the galaxy.-Are facehuggers female?
315 00:17:26 No, 'cause they got dicks.
316 00:17:28 Oh, so, you're saying it took a dickto save the galaxy.
317 00:17:32 -I want a do-over.-[grunts]
318 00:17:34 -I want a do-over.-No do-overs.
319 00:17:36 Come on. Aliens don't abideby our primitive gender stereotypes.
320 00:17:40 -What's done is done.-You suck.
321 00:17:42 -You suck, and I hope you die.-You couldn't live without me.
322 00:17:47 It would definitely affect my income.So, you're probably right.
323 00:17:50 [timer dings]
324 00:17:51 -Pizza!-Pizza!
325 00:17:54 [Bee and actor 1] Big Indian Chief.So special. So above the law.
326 00:18:00 I told you, you'd make a mistake,and I'd be waiting.
327 00:18:05 [Cole and actor 2] It doesn't looklike I have any choice, does it?
328 00:18:09 [Bee and actor 1 laugh]That's right. You don't.
329 00:18:12 [Cole and actor 2]I'm gonna take this right foot...
330 00:18:16 and I'm gonna whop youon that side of your face.
331 00:18:21 And you wanna know something?
332 00:18:23 There's not a damn thingyou're gonna be able to do about it.
333 00:18:26 -[Bee and actor 1] Really?-[Cole and actor 2] Really.
334 00:18:32 [Bee and actor 1]Kill that Indian son of a bitch.
335 00:18:33 [grunting and shouting]
336 00:18:39 [both laughing]
337 00:18:42 Think my parents are gonna get a divorce?
338 00:18:47 I don't know, man. I hope not.
339 00:18:49 Melanie's parents got divorced.Her mom lives with her boyfriend.
340 00:18:52 That's gross.
341 00:18:55 Isn't that the cute chickacross the street?
342 00:18:57 Ms. Dryer is not cute. She's gross.
343 00:19:00 Her boyfriend's like 20.
344 00:19:01 Not her. Melanie.
345 00:19:05 I wouldn't say she's cute.
346 00:19:08 Oh, I would.I would say she's super-duper cute.
347 00:19:11 [stammers] I see what you're trying to do.It's not gonna work.
348 00:19:14 Whatever. You want your tongues to touch.
349 00:19:17 Nope. No way.
350 00:19:18 -Oh, you're in denial.-You're an... asshole.
351 00:19:21 [laughing]
352 00:19:23 Oh, my God. That was so great.
353 00:19:26 But you'll be all rightif your parents break up.
354 00:19:29 I mean...you just gotta take care of yourself.
355 00:19:33 Gotta figure out what you want,and then do what you can to get it.
356 00:19:39 [Cole sighs]
357 00:19:43 [both chuckle]
358 00:19:45 Ah, shit, dude, it's super late.
359 00:19:47 -I'm not tired.-Well, I know you're not. I am.
360 00:19:51 [snaps fingers]If I give you a shot, will you go to bed?
361 00:19:55 -I don't know, maybe.-I'll make it a double.
362 00:19:59 -You'll sleep like a rock.-Okay.
363 00:20:03 Here you are, my good sir.
364 00:20:06 Don't say a word of this to your parents.
365 00:20:09 My dad lets me drink Mike's all the time.
366 00:20:11 Dude, that is the coolest thingI've ever heard in my life.
367 00:20:19 You're not gonna do it with me?
368 00:20:23 All right, sure. I'll be right back.
369 00:20:46 [coughing]
370 00:20:47 You did it without me?
371 00:20:50 Cheers.
372 00:20:53 Whew.
373 00:20:56 -[Melanie on phone] She's getting laid.-[chuckles]
374 00:20:58 -I'm gonna find out.-Wow, I'm impressed.
375 00:21:00 That's actually pervy, though,watching people do it.
376 00:21:03 I'm not a perv. I just wanna knowwhat happens after I go to sleep.
377 00:21:08 I gotta go.
378 00:21:10 [phone beeps]
379 00:21:11 -No.-[footsteps approaching]
380 00:21:14 [knock on door]
381 00:21:16 Enter.
382 00:21:19 You sleepy?
383 00:21:20 Yeah, I'm really tired.
384 00:21:23 Well, rest up.The party continues tomorrow.
385 00:21:26 You need anything? All right.
386 00:21:28 -Bee?-Yeah?
387 00:21:34 Thanks for knowing meand treating me like I was okay.
388 00:21:40 You don't think you're okay?
389 00:21:49 I mean...
390 00:21:52 I wanna feel normal, but...
391 00:21:58 I just feel weird most of the time.
392 00:22:03 Well, I like weird.
393 00:22:06 All of the time.
394 00:22:09 So, just imagine how all the girlsare gonna love you when you're a senior.
395 00:22:13 [sniffles]
396 00:22:16 See you in the morning.
397 00:22:18 Good night, dude.
398 00:22:33 [doorbell rings]
399 00:22:36 [people chattering nearby]
400 00:22:40 Ew. Orgy?
401 00:22:44 Orgy?
402 00:22:51 [woman moaning on phone]
403 00:23:26 [indistinct chattering]
404 00:23:28 [man] Spin it.
405 00:23:52 [Allison] Whoo!
406 00:23:53 -[Max] Yeah!-[John] We lit. We lit.
407 00:23:56 Truth me.
408 00:23:58 Out of everybody here,who would you want to sleep with the most?
409 00:24:04 -Sonya.-[Allison] Ooh, yeah.
410 00:24:06 [laughing]
411 00:24:07 Hundred percent.
412 00:24:09 -Come on.-Sam, you're a close second, stud.
413 00:24:12 -[John] Damn.-Okay. My turn.
414 00:24:14 [Max grunts]
415 00:24:15 -[Allison] Yo, people.-[John] To this bad girl.
416 00:24:18 Bee, truth or dare.
417 00:24:22 Dare.
418 00:24:23 [all shout]
419 00:24:24 -I dare you to kiss everyone here.-[Allison chuckles]
420 00:24:27 -Yes.-[Allison] Ooh, yeah.
421 00:24:30 -[John] She got balls.-[Sonya] I need to watch.
422 00:24:32 [Sonya chuckling]
423 00:24:34 All right.
424 00:24:35 -That's what I'm talking about.-[Sonya] I'm excited for that.
425 00:24:38 -[Max] That's all I'm looking for.-[Allison] Hold on.
426 00:24:40 [John] Let's go.
427 00:24:42 I'm ready.
428 00:24:43 ♪ Everybody loves the sunshine ♪
429 00:24:46 [in deep voice] I know it was you, Fredo.I know it was you.
430 00:24:51 [all laughing]
431 00:24:52 -Thank you.-Is that Lord of the Rings?
432 00:24:54 That was The Godfather Part II.
433 00:24:56 I love her.
434 00:24:57 [all laughing]
435 00:24:58 -[Bee] All right, this is easy. Come on.-[Max] That was pretty good.
436 00:25:01 [Bow Wow Wow's "I Want Candy" playing]
437 00:25:06 [Max] Oh, okay.
438 00:25:08 [John] Y'all rehearsed this.
439 00:25:14 ♪ Go to see him when the sun goes down ♪
440 00:25:18 ♪ Ain't no finer boy in town ♪
441 00:25:23 ♪ You're my guyWhat the doctor ordered ♪
442 00:25:27 ♪ So sweet you make my mouth water ♪
443 00:25:31 ♪ I want candy ♪
444 00:25:36 ♪ I want candy ♪
445 00:25:40 ♪ Yeah! ♪
446 00:25:49 ♪ I want candy ♪
447 00:25:53 ♪ I want candy ♪
448 00:25:57 ♪ I want candy ♪
449 00:26:02 [pants] Wait, just give me--
450 00:26:05 Give me a second to process that shit.
451 00:26:06 -[John] You raised by Rick James?-I'm thinking a redo.
452 00:26:09 -That's amazing.-[laughing]
453 00:26:11 Make sure it's real nice and long for you,because I'm black. See that?
454 00:26:14 There you go. Mm.
455 00:26:17 -[Bee giggles]-Fuck, yeah.
456 00:26:19 Come on.
457 00:26:20 [Allison laughing]
458 00:26:22 -Whoo!-[Sonya] Yeah!
459 00:26:25 [John] Oh, Bee!
460 00:26:26 -[all laughing]-[John groans]
461 00:26:28 Bee, what the hell?
462 00:26:29 You give her that romantic shit,and you're gonna lick my face?
463 00:26:33 Damn, that's all I'm asking.
464 00:26:35 -[Bee] All right.-[John] Freaky shit.
465 00:26:37 Smell good. The spit is nice.Brushed your teeth this morning.
466 00:26:42 [Max laughing] Okay.
467 00:26:47 -[John] Weird.-[Bee] Hi.
468 00:26:48 -[John howling]-[Allison laughing] Yeah!
469 00:26:51 [Max cat-calling] Sammy's turn.
470 00:26:54 -[John laughing]-[Max chanting] Sammy.
471 00:26:56 -[Allison] She's so hot.-[John] Okay.
472 00:27:00 [Max] Come on, Sam. You got this.
473 00:27:02 Make out with her.
474 00:27:03 [Sam] I'm sorry.
475 00:27:05 This is kind of weird.I don't even really know you guys.
476 00:27:09 [Max] Come on, Sam.Freak you out, there, stud?
477 00:27:12 -Sam, don't be a puss.-[Sam] I don't even know you guys.
478 00:27:15 [Sam] I'm not. I'm-- I just--
479 00:27:16 -You're staring at me.-[Max] Oh, we're not looking.
480 00:27:19 [Allison] Hey, it's not weird.
481 00:27:20 -[Bee] Hey.-[John] Yeah.
482 00:27:22 Just close your eyes.
483 00:27:23 Okay?
484 00:27:24 Pretend they're not even here.
485 00:27:27 You can do this.
486 00:27:28 You got this.
487 00:27:30 [hushes]
488 00:27:35 Just because I close my eyesdoesn't mean that they're not here.
489 00:27:41 Do you trust me?
490 00:27:43 Yes.
491 00:27:44 Just relax.
492 00:27:47 It's not weird, okay?We're just having fun.
493 00:27:50 [John howls]
494 00:27:52 There he goes.
495 00:27:54 [John chuckles]
496 00:28:10 [screaming]
497 00:28:26 Shh.
498 00:28:29 You're helping fulfill a great purpose.Know this.
499 00:28:32 I don't wanna fulfill a great porpoise.
500 00:28:35 [grunts] Did he just say "porpoise"?
501 00:28:38 Yo, I think he did.
502 00:28:39 He didn't even get a chanceto understand.
503 00:28:42 [panting]
504 00:28:44 Ready?
505 00:28:46 -[Sonya] Ready.-Yep.
506 00:28:48 -[John grunts] Oh, okay.-[exhales]
507 00:28:52 [John] That shit leaking.
508 00:28:58 Wait, hold on. My shit ain't working.I think it ran out of blood.
509 00:29:02 -Oh, shit!-Oh, shit.
510 00:29:04 [John yells] Oh, shit!
511 00:29:07 [Max]All that blood was just in his boner.
512 00:29:09 Max, don't laugh, okay?John, relax. This blood is serving you.
513 00:29:13 I did not sign up for this shitto serve me in my mouth.
514 00:29:15 This shit's still warm.I think he got a fever.
515 00:29:18 You know what you signed up for.You want to go platinum, John?
516 00:29:21 Things can get messywhen you make a deal with the devil.
517 00:29:24 Now collect it.
518 00:29:25 -[John] Like this?-[Bee] There you go.
519 00:29:26 [Allison] How long is this gonna take?I just want my shit to come true.
520 00:29:31 [Bee]Allison, you'll all get what you want.
521 00:29:38 Okay, let's go.
522 00:29:42 [John] I don't think this is funny.Look at my outfit.
523 00:29:45 I just got this shit, you feel me?Thirty percent off.
524 00:29:47 Macy's. Top rack. I don't play games.
525 00:29:50 You look like Carrie,
526 00:29:52 -but black.-Carrie would've been better black.
527 00:29:55 She would have been covered in Hennessy,all right?
528 00:29:57 What are you wearing?Looking like Big Bird's side bitch.
529 00:30:00 I just came from a game.That's why I'm wearing this, obviously.
530 00:30:03 I was not gonna miss this.
531 00:30:06 Look at this shit.That would go viral so hard.
532 00:30:10 I mean, nobody's done human sacrifice.
533 00:30:12 People have always done human sacrifice.
534 00:30:14 Yeah, but, like...not in America with hot people.
535 00:30:18 Sonya, get the cases.
536 00:30:21 Listen,when you're done being totally useless,
537 00:30:23 get a rag and wipe Sacrifice Samuelout my damn eye. OMG.
538 00:30:27 Hey.
539 00:30:28 Nice one, John.
540 00:30:29 [gasps] Oh, my God.
541 00:30:32 I've got Sacrifice Samuel all over me.
542 00:30:36 What's in the box?
543 00:30:42 Yo, so, Bee, why do you need the bookif you already know what to do?
544 00:30:46 It's like Jesus asking directionsto heaven.
545 00:30:48 Just fucking go up, you know?
546 00:30:50 Well, the Jews have their scrolls,
547 00:30:54 Christians have their Bibles,
548 00:30:56 and the devil has his verses.
549 00:30:58 Don't touch it.It's very old and very delicate.
550 00:31:01 It's the only one.
551 00:31:02 You recite the versewhile the blood hits the page.
552 00:31:05 Without it, none of this happens.
553 00:31:09 Let's get started before we head upstairsand get the blood of the innocent.
554 00:31:13 [gasps]
555 00:31:26 [woman]911, what's your emergency?
556 00:31:27 My name is Cole Johnson.A guy was murdered in my living room.
557 00:31:30 The address is, uh... 2455 Bigby Drive.
558 00:31:33 -Can you please send someone?-Are the attackers still in the house?
559 00:31:37 They're downstairs having a blast.
560 00:31:38 -How many are there, Cole?-Too many.
561 00:31:40 Can you please get my mom?She's at the Hyatt in the city.
562 00:31:44 Living large.
563 00:31:45 Of course, Cole. Now listen to me.It's important that you stay hidden.
564 00:31:50 -I gotta protect myself. Thanks.-Do not do that. No, no, no--
565 00:32:20 -Okay.-[chattering]
566 00:32:36 [Bee] ...we shed about 15 percentof our dead cells.
567 00:32:39 [John] Whoo!
568 00:32:42 Yo, this kid's hobbymust be getting bullied.
569 00:32:45 He's reading The Secret?
570 00:32:47 He's ten years old.What secret he need to know?
571 00:32:50 Won't he hear us?
572 00:32:52 With the amount of drugs I gave him?Hell, no.
573 00:32:55 -[Sonya] Good boy. Pretty boy.-Do you have the needle?
574 00:33:01 Of course, I have the needle.
575 00:33:08 You know, there is a faster wayto get all that blood.
576 00:33:12 [Bee] What happens when you kill someone?
577 00:33:14 [John] They lose, like,all they Instagram followers.
578 00:33:16 -[gasps] Oh, my God, that would suck.-No, they die.
579 00:33:19 And then I'd haveto find another innocent kid.
580 00:33:21 And all of this only worksif we get that top-shelf pure shit.
581 00:33:27 And Cole is basically a faucetof that for us.
582 00:33:41 [Bee] After this, we finish the ritual...
583 00:33:44 and your wish comes true.
584 00:33:49 -Damn, I missed the vein.-[Sonya] Mm.
585 00:33:53 [Bee] Premium real estate. Go for it.
586 00:33:58 [Sonya incanting]
587 00:34:09 Wait, you gotta give him a Band-Aid.
588 00:34:10 Okay. Let's go mix some blood.
589 00:34:12 John, alley-oop.
590 00:34:14 [John] LeBron James.
591 00:34:19 Good boy.
592 00:34:43 [panting]
593 00:35:49 Why is he shirtless?
594 00:35:51 -That's your first question?-How can you ask that? Just look at him.
595 00:35:55 I still don't get it.
596 00:35:59 [grunting]
597 00:36:01 Give him a cookie.
598 00:36:05 -No, thanks.-Eat the cookie.
599 00:36:08 I just don't really like cookies, okay?Bee knows that.
600 00:36:13 You'll feel better if you eat.You fainted.
601 00:36:15 No, I didn't.
602 00:36:16 Yes, you did.
603 00:36:18 After I took your blood,
604 00:36:19 I waited in the room,because something felt off.
605 00:36:22 I crouched behind the door.A few seconds later, you got up,
606 00:36:25 tied a sheet to your bed,threw the sheet out the window.
607 00:36:28 And then you fainted. So, you know...
608 00:36:30 Your blood sugar is low. Eat the cookie.
609 00:36:38 Are you mad at me?
610 00:36:39 Cookie.
611 00:36:43 This is gonna be so good.
612 00:36:47 What the...
613 00:36:48 Oh, there you go.
614 00:36:50 There you go.
615 00:36:55 That's a good boy.
616 00:37:04 -Why are you awake, Cole?-Because I couldn't sleep.
617 00:37:07 -I don't believe you.-[Cole] Okay, fine. I--
618 00:37:09 I was gonna go smoke in the woods.
619 00:37:10 [Bee] You were gonna go smokein the woods.
620 00:37:13 Yeah. You know, like... marijuana.
621 00:37:17 You weren't gonna share with your boy?Come on, man.
622 00:37:19 We could've got high,listen to my mix tape. My shit's fire.
623 00:37:22 -I wanna smoke pot.-Why didn't you drink the shot?
624 00:37:25 Why is he shirtless?Why did you take my blood?
625 00:37:27 -Cole.-Okay. Fine. Because I don't like alcohol.
626 00:37:30 I just drank itbecause I wanted you to think I was cool.
627 00:37:35 Why did you give a 12-year-old alcohol?
628 00:37:37 'Cause I put shit in that alcoholthat makes them conk out
629 00:37:40 for eight hours or more.
630 00:37:43 What else did you see?
631 00:37:45 I just see you.
632 00:37:48 And these assholes,who I don't know, in my house.
633 00:37:54 -Why is his shirt covered in blood?-No one would let me borrow a shirt.
634 00:37:58 -That's not even an answer.-Oh, my God.
635 00:38:00 Does he not see the mirror behind him?We can see you cutting the rope.
636 00:38:05 Well, he does now.
637 00:38:09 Aw, it's so cute,you're still cutting the rope.
638 00:38:11 Look at you.You're really trying there, aren't you?
639 00:38:15 -Why are you cutting ropes?-I don't like being tied up.
640 00:38:17 -Why do you have a knife?-It was a gift.
641 00:38:19 Oh, my God.
642 00:38:21 He's still cutting the ropes.
643 00:38:23 Determined little fucker, aren't you?
644 00:38:26 Look, I won't tell anyone.
645 00:38:29 Okay? You know me.I'm good with secrets.
646 00:38:32 I won't tell my parentsthat you were having an orgy
647 00:38:34 and needed my blood to do it.
648 00:38:35 [John and Allison laughing]
649 00:38:42 Do you even know what an orgy is?
650 00:38:45 I'm guessing it's something sad people do
651 00:38:47 'cause they want other sad peopleto like them,
652 00:38:50 and they can forget for one minutehow sad they are in general.
653 00:38:54 That's actually a pretty good answer.
654 00:38:56 It was for a science project, okay?
655 00:38:59 The orgy?
656 00:39:00 No. The blood.
657 00:39:02 Orgy is when a bunch of peoplehave sex together.
658 00:39:04 We wouldn't need your blood for that.
659 00:39:09 You could've just asked.
660 00:39:11 I would've let you have some bloodfor science.
661 00:39:13 I knew you were afraid of needles.
662 00:39:15 This was clearly a misunderstanding.
663 00:39:17 Sonya, untie him.
664 00:39:19 I'm sorry we scared you, Cole. We good?
665 00:39:22 [police sirens wailing]
666 00:39:24 -[John] Oh, shit.-[screaming]
667 00:39:26 -[Max] Shut up!-Holy fuck!
668 00:39:28 -Not good.-Fucking police.
669 00:39:31 Why are the cops outside, Cole?
670 00:39:33 -I don't know.-Did you call them?
671 00:39:35 -No. You said you were in the room.-Makes me think you saw something
672 00:39:38 that scared you enoughto call the cops. Right, Cole?
673 00:39:42 -[knock on door]-Oh, fuck!
674 00:39:43 Answer me, Cole.
675 00:39:45 Help! Help!I'm tied up inside! They're about--
676 00:39:48 [grunts] Ow.
677 00:39:51 -Oh, shit!-[officer] Everybody, freeze!
678 00:39:52 [officer 2] Hands up, now!Put your hands up! Now!
679 00:39:55 -Now!-[Max] Here we go.
680 00:39:56 -[officer] Hands up!-[John] Oh!
681 00:39:58 [screaming]
682 00:39:59 -[chuckles]-[officer] Shit!
683 00:40:01 Hands up. Don't shoot, man.Black lives matter, too. You feel me?
684 00:40:05 [Allison] Bee!
685 00:40:06 -Oh!-[Max] Oh, shit!
686 00:40:08 Titty gone!
687 00:40:10 Titty gone!
688 00:40:11 Don't you move. Keep your hands up.Nobody move!
689 00:40:15 -[screams]-Don't you move.
690 00:40:17 [John] Chill with the gun stuff.
691 00:40:18 Chill. You Mexican, right?Look, I speak Spa--
692 00:40:21 Lo siento, my nigga, lo siento.
693 00:40:24 [shouting]
694 00:40:26 -Are you serious?-[laughing]
695 00:40:30 [screaming]
696 00:40:31 [John] Max, what you doing, man?
697 00:40:33 -[John] Max, what you doing, man?-No, no, no!
698 00:40:36 -[officer 2 shouting]-Oh.
699 00:40:38 [grunting]
700 00:40:40 No!
701 00:40:43 Harder.
702 00:40:45 [screaming]
703 00:40:48 Whoo!
704 00:40:49 Look, man.Three out of four people got an STD.
705 00:40:52 I got two people's blood on me.
706 00:40:54 You do the math.I got AIDS. I know I got AIDS.
707 00:40:57 You killed him!
708 00:40:59 -Kind of your fault, bud.-Are you insane?
709 00:41:01 No, Cole. I'm just trying--
710 00:41:02 [man on radio] What's the statusof that 187 call on Bigby Drive?
711 00:41:09 [John] Look, man.
712 00:41:10 I can't go to jail.Y'all killed the cops, man.
713 00:41:12 I ain't involved with this shit.
714 00:41:14 It's fine. Max, pick it up.
715 00:41:16 [Max chuckles]
716 00:41:17 [John] It's the statistics.
717 00:41:19 They say you either end up in jailor dead.
718 00:41:22 It's gonna be both for me, Bee.
719 00:41:24 -What's the code for "all clear"?-[man] What's your status?
720 00:41:27 Just say "all clear."
721 00:41:29 [Sonya] Why would he know cop codes?
722 00:41:30 [Cole shouts]
723 00:41:32 Stop screaming and act like an adult.
724 00:41:34 What's the code? I know you know it.
725 00:41:36 Little boy here a nerd.Tell them the codes.
726 00:41:38 What's the code?
727 00:41:39 -Ten-fifty-three.-[John] Punch that shit in.
728 00:41:42 -[man] Bynak, you there?-Wait.
729 00:41:47 [Bee] You don't get it.You look away when you lie.
730 00:41:52 You look me in the eyesand tell me the truth.
731 00:41:54 What is the code for "all clear"?
732 00:42:02 It's 10-4. Obviously.
733 00:42:05 What's "we're taking a break to get food"?
734 00:42:07 -[Cole] Say we're taking a break to---[Bee] Cole.
735 00:42:09 [man] Officer Bynak, you need backup?
736 00:42:11 Code seven.
737 00:42:17 Ten-four, all clear. We're code seven.
738 00:42:25 [man] Ten-four.Enjoy your double-double.
739 00:42:30 Should've been a cop.
740 00:42:34 [screaming]
741 00:42:37 Shit.
742 00:42:38 [groaning] Ow, ow!
743 00:42:41 [Allison] Oh, my God. Guys.
744 00:42:43 Oh, my God!
745 00:42:45 Fucking help me. What are you doing?
746 00:42:48 Oh, my God. He shot me in the boob.
747 00:42:50 What kind of dick shoots a girlin the boob?
748 00:42:54 -I did not sign up for this shit.-Stop complaining. Stop all your whining.
749 00:42:58 They're totally gonna stop growing.They weren't even done.
750 00:43:01 Sometimes you gotta settle, all right?
751 00:43:03 I got a cousin Chantelle, titties flat.
752 00:43:05 Personality real good.
753 00:43:07 Ow. Oh, my God.
754 00:43:08 -Ow! You fucking bitch.-[Sonya laughs]
755 00:43:10 What's wrong with you?
756 00:43:12 -Get away from me with your fucking beret.-She's gonna bleed out.
757 00:43:17 What? No.
758 00:43:18 What do you mean, I'm gonna bleed?
759 00:43:20 Can we just stick a tampon in itor something?
760 00:43:22 Oh, my God.We need to call an ambulance, guys.
761 00:43:26 I need an ambulance.I don't wanna lose my boob.
762 00:43:28 I can't do that.
763 00:43:30 [Allison] What?
764 00:43:31 Why not?
765 00:43:32 Because your boob was shotby a now-dead cop.
766 00:43:35 Have fun explaining that.
767 00:43:36 No dude's gonna motorboat these, Bee.
768 00:43:38 -[crying]-[mimicking motorboat]
769 00:43:40 How you like it?You want them quick or you want them long?
770 00:43:43 [continues mimicking motorboat]You want a little spit on them?
771 00:43:48 [Bee] Cole!
772 00:43:49 -[Allison] Oh, my God.-[John] Hey, hey, hey.
773 00:43:51 Who's gonna want to suck on my nipples?
774 00:43:53 No one.
775 00:43:54 [John] Cole. Come here, Cole.Stop running.
776 00:43:57 Come here, little baby.Yeah. Come here, buddy.
777 00:43:59 Just wanna talk. Just wanna talk.
778 00:44:02 Son of a bitch.
779 00:44:03 Hey, this ain't Home Alone.Hey, hey, hey.
780 00:44:06 Oh, shit.
781 00:44:13 [exhales]
782 00:44:18 Oh, shit.
783 00:44:20 Right in the jugular. Yeah! [chuckles]
784 00:44:24 [gasps]
785 00:44:26 -Get him.-I got him.
786 00:44:27 I'm gonna kill you with my bare hands.
787 00:44:30 Whoo!
788 00:44:31 -Now I gotta clean this up.-[Max] Run, Cole!
789 00:44:34 I'm coming for you.
790 00:44:37 Open the door, Cole.
791 00:44:41 No locked doors, Cole!
792 00:44:43 Open the door. We just wanna talk, Cole.
793 00:44:49 Come on, Cole!
794 00:44:57 [panting]
795 00:45:05 Hey, Coley. How's it hanging?
796 00:45:08 [fabric stretching]
797 00:45:09 Please, don't kill me. Please.
798 00:45:15 No. You're gonna kill me. No.
799 00:45:19 Max. It's okay, Max. Please.
800 00:45:22 Got you.
801 00:45:25 Ow!
802 00:45:27 Whoa. Deep breaths, buddy.
803 00:45:30 [coughs, groans]
804 00:45:38 [Max] I'm right on your ass, Coley!
805 00:45:39 Keep moving!
806 00:45:43 Come on, Cole!
807 00:45:47 Where are you, you little shit?
808 00:45:49 Cole.
809 00:45:51 Coley.
810 00:45:52 [panting]
811 00:46:13 [shouts]
812 00:46:22 There's a dead guy...
813 00:46:25 I'm sorry.
814 00:46:28 I'm sorry.
815 00:46:31 [shouting]
816 00:46:35 Okay. Okay. Okay.
817 00:46:37 Bug spray. Blanket.
818 00:46:42 Lighter.
819 00:46:52 Whoa. The Fat Dragon.
820 00:46:58 [Max] Coley!
821 00:47:02 Cole!
822 00:47:06 Come out and play!
823 00:47:25 [Cole panting]
824 00:47:40 [footsteps above]
825 00:48:32 [Sonya whispers] Is this where you are?
826 00:48:36 [laughing]
827 00:48:40 [Sonya hums]
828 00:49:03 [creaking]
829 00:49:08 [shouts]
830 00:49:22 Are you right... here?
831 00:49:36 Good boy.
832 00:49:40 [gasps]
833 00:49:41 Beautiful boy.
834 00:49:46 So soft, so pretty.
835 00:49:47 [Max] Coley!
836 00:49:50 -Where's Cole?-[Sonya] Ugh.
837 00:49:54 [Max] Sonya, bring your cookiesand help me find this little fuck.
838 00:49:58 [Sonya] I'm coming.
839 00:50:00 [whimpers]
840 00:50:13 Hi, Cole.
841 00:50:15 Oh, God.
842 00:50:17 How long do you thinkit'll take your parents
843 00:50:21 to find your body down here? [chuckles]
844 00:50:24 Tomorrow?
845 00:50:26 Two days from now?
846 00:50:28 Even later?
847 00:50:29 Probably when your body startsto reek like cheese.
848 00:50:34 [laughs]Or we could just burn your body, Cole.
849 00:50:38 It would be so beautiful.
850 00:50:41 [Sonya screams]
851 00:50:42 [laughs] Oh, you missed.
852 00:50:45 [Sonya screams]
853 00:50:47 My nails!
854 00:50:48 Cole! Cole! [grunts]
855 00:50:54 -[thuds]-[grunts]
856 00:50:57 I'm gonna make sureyou hurt before you die, Cole.
857 00:51:04 Cut your fingers off. Every single one.
858 00:51:07 Come here, Cole!
859 00:51:08 I'm makinga human self-centipede. Yeah!
860 00:51:16 Human self-centipede, child!
861 00:51:18 Gonna taste so good, Cole!
862 00:51:20 Your mouth is gonna get sewnto your ass, Cole!
863 00:51:23 Your mouthy ass!
864 00:51:25 [screaming]
865 00:51:32 [Sonya continues screaming]
866 00:51:40 I'm still alive motherfuck--
867 00:51:42 [loud bang]
868 00:51:43 [gasping]
869 00:51:48 [coughing]
870 00:51:56 [applauding]
871 00:52:03 Did you just blow up Sonya?
872 00:52:06 No.
873 00:52:08 I mean, I'm not even mad.I'm a little surprised.
874 00:52:11 What did that?
875 00:52:13 A firework.
876 00:52:14 A firework?
877 00:52:15 Holy shit.
878 00:52:17 Damn, good for you, kid.
879 00:52:19 That is awesome.
880 00:52:21 So, you want a head start?
881 00:52:24 -Come on, you're the quarterback.-Life's not fair, dude.
882 00:52:27 You guys suck.
883 00:52:28 You just blew up Sonya.
884 00:52:33 You can't outrun me, Cole.
885 00:52:37 Wait until they've almost got you,drop like a bag of rocks.
886 00:52:41 [Max grunts]
887 00:52:43 [Bee] Kick him in the dick.
888 00:52:44 Dick.
889 00:52:45 [Max groans]
890 00:52:55 Whoo!
891 00:52:59 You missed my dick.
892 00:53:01 -No, I didn't.-Pretty sure you did.
893 00:53:03 And I got a big dick.
894 00:53:04 No, you don't.
895 00:53:05 That's just hurtful.
896 00:53:07 [shouting]
897 00:53:09 Please, don't-- Don't--
898 00:53:13 [gasping]
899 00:53:15 [Max] No whining.
900 00:53:16 Save some dignity.
901 00:53:20 [egg breaking]
902 00:53:23 -What the hell is that?-[gasping]
903 00:53:26 -Huh?-It's Jeremy.
904 00:53:28 -What?-Eggs.
905 00:53:31 Eggs.
906 00:53:32 Eggs?
907 00:53:33 You gotta be shitting me.
908 00:53:36 Somebody's egging your house?
909 00:53:44 [crowd cheering]
910 00:53:46 [Max] Who is this kid?
911 00:53:48 Just an asshole.
912 00:53:49 -He egg your house a lot?-Sometimes.
913 00:53:51 -[Max] So, what are you gonna do about it?-What?
914 00:53:54 I said, are you gonna let that little punkcome on to your property,
915 00:53:57 your family's propertyand disrespect you like that?
916 00:54:04 No. Hell, no. This is America.You need to wreck his ass.
917 00:54:11 Are you kidding me?
918 00:54:12 Get out there and crush that bitch.
919 00:54:15 Go.
920 00:54:20 [chuckles] Well, well, well.
921 00:54:23 It's Cole sore.
922 00:54:25 I like your pajamas.
923 00:54:27 -Thanks. My mom made them.-[scoffs]
924 00:54:30 You wanna do something?
925 00:54:33 You know what I'm gonna do?
926 00:54:35 What's that?
927 00:54:38 I'm gonna take this right foot,
928 00:54:41 and I'm gonna whop youon that side of your face.
929 00:54:46 And there's not a damn thingyou can do about it.
930 00:54:49 [chuckles] Really?
931 00:54:53 Really.
932 00:54:56 I'm gonna wreck your ass.
933 00:54:58 [grunts]
934 00:55:02 [grunts]
935 00:55:04 What the hell was that?You must be crazy.
936 00:55:06 Jeremy, you have to listen to me, okay?
937 00:55:08 There's a guy over therewho's trying to kill me.
938 00:55:11 -I swear to God.-I swear to God.
939 00:55:13 -I'm serious.-I'm serious.
940 00:55:14 There are dead bodies in my house.
941 00:55:17 -Wait, seriously?-The cops came. They killed the cops.
942 00:55:21 -Where is the cop car?-They're crazy. They're covering it up.
943 00:55:24 Okay? If you get me out of this,I'll wear a blue headband.
944 00:55:27 I'll give you foot massages.I'll do your homework until college.
945 00:55:31 Oh, okay, okay.
946 00:55:33 I'll help you.
947 00:55:35 -Really?-Yeah.
948 00:55:36 I mean, if you die,who am I gonna pick on?
949 00:55:40 Exactly.
950 00:55:41 Okay, so, here's the plan.
951 00:55:43 On three,we're gonna make a run for my bike.
952 00:55:46 -You're gonna ride in the back. All right?-Thank you.
953 00:55:50 One, two--
954 00:55:52 [Jeremy laughing]
955 00:55:55 Have fun getting murdered, colon cancer.
956 00:55:59 Ooh-whah, ooh-whah.
957 00:56:01 Ooh-whah, ooh-whah.
958 00:56:07 You talk too much.
959 00:56:10 Crack him in the face next time.
960 00:56:13 Not bad.At least you stood up for yourself.
961 00:56:16 You gonna let me go now?
962 00:56:18 [Max laughs]
963 00:56:19 [sighs]
964 00:56:21 No.
965 00:56:25 But if you kill me,you won't get what you want.
966 00:56:28 No, I'm not like the others.
967 00:56:29 I came here to kill people.
968 00:56:34 Yes! That's what I'm talking about, Cole!
969 00:56:36 Come on, buddy! Whoo!
970 00:56:40 Come on, Coley.
971 00:56:42 Come on, buddy. I'm right behind you.Move your ass, Cole.
972 00:56:46 Whoo!
973 00:56:48 Coming for you.
974 00:56:49 -[Cole screams]-Whoo!
975 00:56:52 Come on, buddy. Get moving.
976 00:56:53 [Max laughs]
977 00:56:57 Come on, buddy.
978 00:56:58 Let's go!
979 00:57:00 Come on! Get up there! Come on!
980 00:57:03 [singsong] Coley.
981 00:57:05 Come down and play.
982 00:57:09 [grunting]
983 00:57:12 Coley.
984 00:57:16 Come on, Cole.
985 00:57:19 Chi-chi-chi, chi-chi-chi, ah
986 00:57:23 Chi-chi-chi, chi-chi-chi, ah
987 00:57:27 Stuck in the tree.
988 00:57:29 No way down!
989 00:57:33 Coley.
990 00:57:38 Coley.
991 00:57:42 Coley.
992 00:57:45 [panting]
993 00:57:49 [gasping] Where is he?
994 00:58:09 [screams]
995 00:58:11 [in normal voice] You're a badass kid.
996 00:58:13 Relax, Max.
997 00:58:17 You don't have to do this.
998 00:58:19 Well, I kind of have to do this.
999 00:58:23 Don't worry. I'm not gonna let you diewith egg on your face.
1000 00:58:27 You poor bastard.
1001 00:58:29 You deserve better than this.
1002 00:58:37 Tonight you get an honorable death.
1003 00:58:40 Tonight you die a man.
1004 00:58:43 I don't wanna die a man.
1005 00:58:44 [both grunting]
1006 00:58:50 [Max grunts]
1007 00:58:55 [Cole shouts]
1008 00:59:03 [gunshot]
1009 00:59:06 Why are there guns?
1010 00:59:09 [gun cocks]
1011 00:59:16 [gunshot]
1012 00:59:18 Come here. Come here.
1013 00:59:20 -Was that a gun?-I got the two guys and the Asian girl.
1014 00:59:23 -The cheerleader got shot. It's just Bee.-What is going on?
1015 00:59:26 Bee murdered the geek. Stole my blood.Tied me up. Killed the cops.
1016 00:59:29 -You're really freaking me out.-I'm... sorry.
1017 00:59:32 Bee is bad?
1018 00:59:35 Yeah. Bee is bad.
1019 00:59:37 -Where's your dad?-Out with some Protestant.
1020 00:59:39 -But his car's here.-She picked him up. He's really desperate.
1021 00:59:43 Am I the only onethat still has a babysitter?
1022 00:59:46 Yeah.
1023 00:59:48 -So, what do we do?-Pray.
1024 00:59:51 -Okay.-I was kidding.
1025 00:59:53 -Oh.-But it's probably a great idea, though.
1026 00:59:58 [both gasp]
1027 01:00:00 Come on.
1028 01:00:09 -You think she can get in here?-Not if it's locked.
1029 01:00:12 [Cole] Your door automatically locks,right?
1030 01:00:17 [Melanie] Nope.
1031 01:01:17 [gasps]
1032 01:01:36 [phone buzzes and jingle plays]
1033 01:01:57 [gun cocks]
1034 01:02:02 [pants]
1035 01:02:21 -I shouldn't have gotten you into this.-You were being shot at.
1036 01:02:24 Especially because I was being shot at.
1037 01:02:25 You're my best friend, I'm sorry.I'm gonna take care of this.
1038 01:02:28 -Do you have your phone?-Yeah.
1039 01:02:30 -Call the cops. Tell them it's a 10-53.-Why do you know cop codes?
1040 01:02:34 Because I used to wanna be a copwhen I grew up.
1041 01:02:39 You never told me that.
1042 01:02:41 I know. I only told Bee.
1043 01:02:43 [Dusty Springfield's "Spooky" playing]
1044 01:02:46 Are you okay?
1045 01:02:50 I've had a really bad night.
1046 01:02:52 ♪ And then I stop ♪
1047 01:02:55 ♪ And say "all right" ♪
1048 01:02:57 ♪ Love is kind of crazyWith a spooky little boy like you ♪
1049 01:03:02 Uh... The last guy I saw get kissedgot stabbed in the head by two knives.
1050 01:03:07 ♪ You always keep me guessing ♪
1051 01:03:08 ♪ I never seem to knowWhat you're thinking ♪
1052 01:03:11 Just because she's a psychopathdoesn't mean women are evil.
1053 01:03:16 I know that.
1054 01:03:20 I wish all girls were like you.
1055 01:03:21 ♪ And then you smile ♪
1056 01:03:24 [chuckles softly]
1057 01:03:26 I'm gonna put an end to this.
1058 01:03:29 What are you doing?
1059 01:03:30 -Keeping you safe.-The lock is on the inside, dumbass.
1060 01:03:35 That was sweet of you.
1061 01:03:39 I'm really excited we kissed.
1062 01:03:41 Me, too. Let's make out next time.
1063 01:03:45 Okay. Bye.
1064 01:03:51 Come and get me, Bee!
1065 01:03:54 I'm right here!
1066 01:03:55 It's just you and me!
1067 01:03:57 It's just you and me!
1068 01:03:59 What, you're gonna get shy now?!
1069 01:04:01 I'm going towards my house!
1070 01:04:03 I'm right here, Bee!
1071 01:04:04 I'm right here!
1072 01:04:08 What the hell?
1073 01:04:10 Oh, my God. Where is everything?
1074 01:04:13 [panting]
1075 01:04:18 [floor creaking]
1076 01:04:20 Oh, my God.
1077 01:04:27 [board creaks]
1078 01:04:37 [gasping]
1079 01:05:10 [gasps]
1080 01:05:49 [gasps]
1081 01:06:07 "Sacrifice... Get your dreams..."
1082 01:06:13 [both grunting]
1083 01:06:17 -Get off me!-I'm gonna kill you!
1084 01:06:20 I'm gonna kill you!
1085 01:06:24 Oh, my God!
1086 01:06:25 Oh, my God!
1087 01:06:28 What's wrong with you,you little pervert?
1088 01:06:30 What? You can't make me feel badbecause I defended myself.
1089 01:06:34 I knew you wanted me this whole time,upstairs in your little room jerking off.
1090 01:06:38 -You're just sick.-You were trying to kill me.
1091 01:06:40 I wasn't trying to kill youby punching your dick.
1092 01:06:43 [shouts] I've never feltso violated before.
1093 01:06:47 Oh, God.
1094 01:06:48 I only signed up for this dumb shitso I could have my dream job.
1095 01:06:52 And instead, what do I have now, huh?
1096 01:06:55 This.
1097 01:06:56 One deflated, ugly boob. [scoffs]
1098 01:07:00 [sobbing] My life is basically over.
1099 01:07:04 I-- I mean... you're still super hot.
1100 01:07:09 What kind of job do you want?
1101 01:07:12 Journalist.
1102 01:07:17 See, that's perfect.
1103 01:07:18 Because you're super smart,and you're hot,
1104 01:07:22 -and really driven.-Thank you.
1105 01:07:24 I could be wrong,but I don't think it would be hard for you
1106 01:07:26 to have a cool life.
1107 01:07:29 Really?
1108 01:07:30 You think so? You think maybewe could walk out of this whole thing?
1109 01:07:34 Just call the police and just,you know, forget this ever happened?
1110 01:07:38 Yeah.
1111 01:07:39 Exactly.
1112 01:07:40 Do you think I give a fuckwhat you're talking about?
1113 01:07:43 [Allison screams]
1114 01:07:57 [Cole] Knife. Where's the knife?
1115 01:08:01 Oh! Dishwasher.
1116 01:08:05 Mom.
1117 01:08:08 Are you the one that put the knifein the dishwasher?
1118 01:08:11 I think so.
1119 01:08:12 Can you not do that?It goes in the butcher block.
1120 01:08:18 Yoo-hoo!
1121 01:08:20 Looking for this?
1122 01:08:22 You still think I'm pretty?
1123 01:08:26 [yells]
1124 01:08:32 Oh, you thinkI'm scared of a little fire, huh?
1125 01:08:34 You are dying.
1126 01:08:36 You, you are dying.
1127 01:08:38 You ruined my life.
1128 01:08:41 And now, I'm gonna ruin yours!
1129 01:08:45 -[screams]-[gunshot]
1130 01:08:51 Holy shit.
1131 01:08:54 [groans]
1132 01:08:56 I found this in the cop car.That was so graphic.
1133 01:08:58 [pants]
1134 01:09:01 She was so annoying.
1135 01:09:05 I wanna throw up.
1136 01:09:06 You and me both.
1137 01:09:09 Where's Sonya?
1138 01:09:10 Blown up. Crawlspace.Where are the cops?
1139 01:09:12 Ditched them with the car.
1140 01:09:15 Now I gotta skip town again.
1141 01:09:17 And that leaves you,and what to do with you.
1142 01:09:19 -Any suggestions?-Are you gonna shoot me?
1143 01:09:22 No.
1144 01:09:24 No. I was just shooting around you,'cause I thought you'd put your hands up.
1145 01:09:31 I will burn your book!
1146 01:09:36 Cole.
1147 01:09:39 -Cole, listen to me.-No.
1148 01:09:42 -Cole, listen to me.-No, Bee! You listen to me!
1149 01:09:46 I've been hunted,you've stolen my blood, killed people,
1150 01:09:51 shot at me,and just been general assholes all night.
1151 01:09:54 So, I wanna knowwhat the hell's going on.
1152 01:09:57 Cole, you're too young to understand,okay? Just trust me.
1153 01:10:00 Fuck you!
1154 01:10:02 Cole.
1155 01:10:02 No. You know what? You deserved that.
1156 01:10:04 What, just because I'm 12 means I getto be treated like total shit
1157 01:10:09 by you and Jeremy and everyone else?
1158 01:10:11 You know what?You're Don Draper from Mad Men.
1159 01:10:15 How he's all cool and handsomeand everybody loves him,
1160 01:10:18 then he goes home and you find outhe has a wife the whole time.
1161 01:10:21 -He's such a piece of shit!-Did you just ruin Mad Men for me?
1162 01:10:25 It's not even on anymore. You'll live.
1163 01:10:27 Still.
1164 01:10:31 -What happens when you leave here?-What do you mean?
1165 01:10:34 -I will burn this!-Okay.
1166 01:10:36 Cole... what do you want to know?
1167 01:10:41 What's the blood for?
1168 01:10:42 You mix the blood of the innocentwith the blood of someone sacrificed,
1169 01:10:46 recite the verses,
1170 01:10:48 while dripping it on the page.
1171 01:10:50 And, basically, you get whatever you want.
1172 01:10:56 I used to be so small... and so scared.
1173 01:11:03 Now I'm strong... and I'm confident...
1174 01:11:08 and that's all I ever wanted.
1175 01:11:13 And, so, that's all I was to you.
1176 01:11:18 You just used me to get what you wanted.
1177 01:11:22 No.
1178 01:11:25 No, Cole. I chose you.
1179 01:11:28 I mean,I could've shot you and not Allison,
1180 01:11:30 but I didn't. I chose you.
1181 01:11:32 'Cause you're the best.
1182 01:11:34 We click, right? You're my guy.
1183 01:11:40 I'm not the first kid, am I?
1184 01:11:49 No.
1185 01:11:50 And you'll leave hereand just find another faucet.
1186 01:11:54 -You heard that?-I heard everything. This is my house.
1187 01:12:00 Okay.
1188 01:12:02 Okay, yes.
1189 01:12:04 And tonight sucked,but we can start again.
1190 01:12:12 So, you have a plan?
1191 01:12:14 Yeah. We just say they attacked us.
1192 01:12:17 I got him.
1193 01:12:19 Whoo!
1194 01:12:32 Plus, dude, we would have so much fun.
1195 01:12:35 Just you and me against the whole world.
1196 01:12:38 No one will ever hurt you ever again.
1197 01:12:40 There'll be nothing left to be afraid of.Isn't that what you wanted?
1198 01:12:47 What do you say, Cole?
1199 01:12:54 I guess...
1200 01:13:00 I guess I have a plan, too.
1201 01:13:04 No!
1202 01:13:06 No!
1203 01:13:08 No!
1204 01:13:11 [Bee screaming]
1205 01:13:24 [Queen's "We are the Champions" playing]♪ I've paid my dues ♪
1206 01:13:26 [boy] Pussy!
1207 01:13:28 ♪ Time after time ♪
1208 01:13:29 -When you're ready, you're ready.-A lot of things are scary.
1209 01:13:32 ♪ I've done my sentence ♪
1210 01:13:34 You gotta figure out what you want...
1211 01:13:37 -and then do what you can to get it.-Keys...
1212 01:13:43 -Cole!-[engine revving]
1213 01:13:50 {\an8}Ten. Two.
1214 01:13:53 ♪ And I need to go on and onAnd on and on ♪
1215 01:13:57 ♪ We are the championsMy friends ♪
1216 01:14:05 ♪ And we'll keeping on fightingTill the end ♪
1217 01:14:10 Yeah!
1218 01:14:13 ♪ We are the champions ♪
1219 01:14:16 ♪ We are the champions ♪
1220 01:14:20 ♪ No time for losers ♪
1221 01:14:23 ♪ 'Cause we are the champions ♪
1222 01:14:28 [Cole screaming]
1223 01:14:46 [grunting and panting]
1224 01:15:19 What up, Cee?
1225 01:15:22 You drove a car into your house.
1226 01:15:28 I really didn't see that coming.
1227 01:15:30 [coughing]
1228 01:15:37 You never told me...
1229 01:15:40 your intergalactic dream team.
1230 01:15:43 You didn't ask.
1231 01:15:45 I should have.
1232 01:15:47 I'm usually pretty good at that stuff.
1233 01:15:55 Admiral Adama to lead.
1234 01:15:59 Data for his intelligence and cool head.
1235 01:16:05 Predator to fight.
1236 01:16:10 Then me and you.
1237 01:16:13 [chuckles]
1238 01:16:18 You didn't say we could add ourselves.
1239 01:16:22 It's science fiction. You can do anything.
1240 01:16:26 Well... I guess that's true.
1241 01:16:33 But don't you get it yet?
1242 01:16:39 I am the big bad.
1243 01:16:45 I loved you.
1244 01:16:54 I don't care about your dumb bookor your stupid cult.
1245 01:17:00 I'm an adult...
1246 01:17:02 because when I realizedyou were the big bad...
1247 01:17:06 and you betrayed me
1248 01:17:07 and were just gonna hurt other kids,
1249 01:17:10 I drove a stolen car through you.
1250 01:17:14 [sobbing]
1251 01:17:20 That, I'll give you. [chuckles]
1252 01:17:25 I'll see you, Cee.
1253 01:17:31 Goodbye.
1254 01:17:34 [chuckles]
1255 01:17:55 [sirens wailing]
1256 01:18:14 -[Melanie's dad] Martinez.-Yeah?
1257 01:18:15 Protect and serve, idiot.
1258 01:18:17 -[Melanie] It's just a car.-Protect my car.
1259 01:18:19 Just a car?! Just a car?!
1260 01:18:22 Do not-- Put your hand down right now.
1261 01:18:27 -I thought you were gonna drive away.-I couldn't leave you.
1262 01:18:31 That was such a douche car.
1263 01:18:33 Melanie, get over here.
1264 01:18:35 Get back here. Now.
1265 01:18:41 Bye.
1266 01:18:42 [Melanie's dad] Oh, my God.
1267 01:18:44 Did you just put your face on him?Wanna go get tattoos now?
1268 01:18:47 Yo. What happened?
1269 01:18:49 Dude, Cole stole a car.
1270 01:18:51 Rammed his house. Killed, like, 50 people.
1271 01:18:54 Fifty people. [scoffs]
1272 01:18:57 [Jeremy] Hey, let's get out of here.
1273 01:19:01 Today, y'all. Let's go.
1274 01:19:09 The hell?
1275 01:19:12 [tires screeching]
1276 01:19:14 Cindy.
1277 01:19:16 -[Mom] Do you have my son? Please...-[Dad] Cole.
1278 01:19:21 [Mom] Honey. Honey. Oh, my God.
1279 01:19:25 Are you okay? Are you...?
1280 01:19:26 -I'm okay.-[Dad] Are you all right?
1281 01:19:28 -Oh, my God. What happened?-Is that blood?
1282 01:19:30 Hey. What happened?
1283 01:19:39 I don't need a babysitter anymore.
1284 01:19:47 {\an8}♪ When my best friend saidShe had lost her man ♪
1285 01:19:51 {\an8}♪ To her babysitterI thought she was lying ♪
1286 01:19:55 {\an8}♪ I said, "No 16-year-old schoolgirl ♪
1287 01:19:59 {\an8}♪ Would ever take a man of mine" ♪
1288 01:20:04 {\an8}♪ Staying homeWith our baby all the time ♪
1289 01:20:08 {\an8}♪ It kept me kind of brokenhearted ♪
1290 01:20:11 {\an8}♪ So I wentAnd hired myself a babysitter ♪
1291 01:20:16 {\an8}♪ And that's when my trouble all started ♪
1292 01:20:20 {\an8}♪ This 16-year-old chick walked in ♪
1293 01:20:24 {\an8}♪ With a skirt up to her waist ♪
1294 01:20:28 {\an8}♪ She had a truckload of you-know-what ♪
1295 01:20:33 {\an8}♪ And all of it in place ♪
1296 01:20:36 {\an8}♪ I should have been aware, mm-hmm ♪
1297 01:20:39 {\an8}♪ Ooh-ooh, of the babysitter ♪
1298 01:20:43 {\an8}♪ Oh, yeah, yeahI should've known from the jump, yeah ♪
1299 01:20:48 {\an8}♪ She was a man-getter, mm-hmm ♪
1300 01:20:52 {\an8}♪ I should've been aware, uh-huh ♪
1301 01:20:57 {\an8}♪ Of the babysitter ♪ [shouts]
1302 01:21:01 {\an8}♪ Should've the known from the jumpYeah ♪
1303 01:21:05 {\an8}♪ She was a man-getterYeah, she was ♪
1304 01:21:20 [indistinct radio chatter]
