见爱不怪(Alex Strangelove)(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:00:50 The great white shark,a vicious predator...
2 00:00:56 ruled by instinct.
3 00:01:00 Jordan Kovalenko,
4 00:01:02 star running back and vicious predator...
5 00:01:06 ruled by instinct.
6 00:01:09 The Roseate Spoonbill,
7 00:01:10 at first sight a bit strange,
8 00:01:13 but then she spreads her wingsand becomes the picture of elegance.
9 00:01:18 Molly Ellington Kent,
10 00:01:19 pure, bespectacled,eighth-grade awkwardness.
11 00:01:23 But on the first day of ninth grade,
12 00:01:26 Molly spread her wings and took flight.
13 00:01:29 And the males of her species took notice.
14 00:01:33 The peacock spider.
15 00:01:34 He flashes his colorful abdomento attract the females.
16 00:01:39 Owen Sheridan.
17 00:01:40 He flashes his colors in order to...
18 00:01:43 Well, you know, you get the message.
19 00:01:47 When it comes to mating,
20 00:01:48 I'm not really surewhat kind of animal I am,
21 00:01:51 mostly because, well,I haven't had sex yet.
22 00:01:54 I'm not opposed to it,I just haven't found the right girl.
23 00:01:58 Maybe that means I'm a penguin guy.
24 00:02:00 They're sweet, a little awkward,and they mate for life,
25 00:02:03 which I think is kind of romantic.
26 00:02:05 I've always been a romantic.
27 00:02:08 My guy friends are definitelya bunch of horny monkeys.
28 00:02:11 Proboscis monkeys, to be exact.
29 00:02:13 Goofy, rowdy, and obsessedwith the size of their...
30 00:02:16 uh, noses.
31 00:02:19 So to be clear, none of us are winningany football trophies,
32 00:02:23 but we're not totally D-list.
33 00:02:26 In fact...
34 00:02:27 The next president of Buchanan High is...
35 00:02:31 Alex Truelove.
36 00:02:35 Yeah, that's my actual last name.
37 00:02:38 I've taken plenty of shit for itover the years.
38 00:02:40 Eventually I owned itand used it for political gain.
39 00:02:45 But it hasn't done muchto help me with girls.
40 00:02:48 I mean, who'd want to go outwith a cephalopod-obsessed,
41 00:02:50 Type A wildlife nerd?
42 00:02:53 Don't be dangling thisout of some damn window.
43 00:02:56 This is a $1,200 piece of equipment.
44 00:02:59 If you bust it doing something stupid,
45 00:03:02 I'll take it out of your deposit.
46 00:03:04 Okay?
47 00:03:06 Okay, great.
48 00:03:08 So now let's talk about batteries.Everybody's favorite subject, right?
49 00:03:13 - These batteries. Run the battery down...- Excuse me.
50 00:03:15 Sorry for spying.
51 00:03:17 Is that a blue-ringed octopus?
52 00:03:19 Wow.
53 00:03:21 You know your cephalopods.
54 00:03:23 So please, I beg you...
55 00:03:30 I want you...
56 00:03:31 Always take the lens capoff the lens.
57 00:03:34 ...to be my video production partner.
58 00:03:36 - Oh.- If you don't already have one.
59 00:03:39 Truelove?
60 00:03:40 Quit trying to pick up the new girl.Pay attention.
61 00:03:44 Thank you.
62 00:03:45 - Now, my future Fellinis...- Truelove?
63 00:03:48 Yeah. You can call me Alex, though.
64 00:03:52 You can call meyour video production partner.
65 00:03:55 Partner.
66 00:03:56 Take the lens cap off...
67 00:03:59 That was the beginningof Savage Kingdom High,
68 00:04:01 hosted by Alex and Claire.
69 00:04:05 Well, it's mating seasonhere at Buchanan High.
70 00:04:08 And just likea colony of randy African hippos,
71 00:04:11 the kids are getting it on.
72 00:04:13 The Piranha Patrol is at it again.
73 00:04:15 Let's see who survivedthe latest social feeding frenzy.
74 00:04:19 What began as a high school video project,
75 00:04:21 became a semi-popular web series
76 00:04:23 dedicated to the savage kingdomthat is the modern American high school.
77 00:04:29 Here we'll find the library lemurs
78 00:04:31 camouflaged in their natural habitat.
79 00:04:33 Follow me.
80 00:04:37 Look, I've discovered a nest.
81 00:04:40 It's rare to find so many in one place.
82 00:04:42 A substantial herd.
83 00:04:44 Who are the naked mole ratsof Buchanan High?
84 00:04:47 The answer might surprise you.
85 00:04:50 Holy shit. We already have 28,000 views.
86 00:04:53 I told you a topless video would kill.
87 00:04:55 What a weird, pervy world we live in.
88 00:05:02 What?
89 00:05:05 Do you want to cometo the homecoming dance with me?
90 00:05:09 Oh. Um...
91 00:05:12 I mean, I know it's likea lame high school ritual,
92 00:05:14 but, I don't know, we could rigthe Homecoming Queen election
93 00:05:17 so that you win, and thenwe could pour pig's blood on you
94 00:05:20 and you could burn down the gymin a telekinetic rage.
95 00:05:30 Darling.
96 00:05:32 And the best part is...
97 00:05:34 we won Homecoming King and Queen!
98 00:05:37 Does this dress make me look fat?
99 00:05:41 After that, we wentto every high school dance we could.
100 00:05:44 But just as friends.
101 00:05:48 Your chariot awaits.
102 00:05:50 What's wrong?
103 00:05:52 My mom is in the hospital.
104 00:05:57 She's at Harrison Methodist, right?
105 00:05:59 Aren't they likea really cutting-edge cancer hospital?
106 00:06:02 Yeah.
107 00:06:03 Yeah, so she's in good hands.
108 00:06:06 I guess.
109 00:06:08 They're gonna do a bunch of tests.
110 00:06:10 It just sucks.
111 00:06:12 Yeah, it sucks.
112 00:06:19 You look cute, Sid Vicious.
113 00:06:23 - I'm sorry, I ruined the night.- No, you didn't ruin anything.
114 00:06:26 Come on, we can haveour junior prom right here.
115 00:06:29 It's all good.
116 00:06:59 Did we just ruin the friendship?
117 00:07:01 I don't care.
118 00:07:12 The next dayI went to the aquarium with Claire,
119 00:07:14 my official girlfriend.
120 00:07:17 I kept waiting for her to turn and say,
121 00:07:20 "Just kidding, you're clearly too dorkyto be boyfriend material."
122 00:07:24 But she never did.
123 00:07:28 And now...
124 00:07:30 Senior year.
125 00:07:32 I think this could bethe girl I'm gonna marry.
126 00:07:34 As for sex, it hasn't happened yet,
127 00:07:36 but any day now.
128 00:07:38 Any day.
129 00:07:40 ♪ First time Kelly kissed a boy ♪
130 00:07:45 ♪ Glow in the dark arrow in the heart ♪
131 00:07:49 ♪ First time Kelly kissed a boy ♪
132 00:07:54 Hey, hey, hey, dudes,I have a question for you.
133 00:07:58 Okay, where is the craziest placeyou guys have ever done it?
134 00:08:01 Like, sexy time.
135 00:08:03 The back room of Cookie Eclipse.
136 00:08:06 Like at work?
137 00:08:07 Yeah, the smell of chocolate chipswas wafting through the air.
138 00:08:11 Sounds magical. Josh?
139 00:08:13 Inflatable dragon.
140 00:08:15 Like one of those bouncy castles?
141 00:08:16 Inflatable dragon.That's all I'm gonna say, man.
142 00:08:19 Wow.
143 00:08:21 - Hey, boys.- Hello.
144 00:08:23 Perfect timing.
145 00:08:24 I'm collecting some scientific datafor a research project.
146 00:08:27 Wait, do we have a research project due?When is that? Is that AP History?
147 00:08:30 - When is that due?- Oh my God.
148 00:08:32 Where is the craziest placeyou guys have ever done it?
149 00:08:35 - Oh.- Hmm.
150 00:08:36 That's easy, we have not done it yet.
151 00:08:45 What? It's true. I've been tryingto de-virginize you for eight months.
152 00:08:48 You won't let me.
153 00:08:50 Okay, see you inside.
154 00:08:53 Wow.
155 00:08:56 - Guys. Guys, look...- Dude. Oh, my God.
156 00:08:58 Dude, you were just like strippedof your penis before our very eyes.
157 00:09:01 Balls too.
158 00:09:03 Ballsack included.
159 00:09:04 Your dick is gone, though.
160 00:09:06 Yeah, it dropped right off.
161 00:09:07 Gone in a poof of dick glitter.
162 00:09:11 No, we just want it to be special.
163 00:09:13 Oh my God, you're gay.
164 00:09:15 - That's very funny.- No, no, no, really.
165 00:09:17 There's nothing wrong with that.It's the 21st century.
166 00:09:20 Everyone's gay.
167 00:09:21 Are you gay?
168 00:09:22 - Fuck no!- Well, neither am I.
169 00:09:24 Homophobes.
170 00:09:25 Can't we just get past this wholehorny, teenage boy archetype.
171 00:09:28 Quite frankly, the idea that it's gayto think of sex
172 00:09:31 as something that's meaningful and specialis offensive.
173 00:09:35 That's the gayest sentenceanyone's ever said, dude.
174 00:09:38 Okay, so what is it?
175 00:09:40 Am I gay, or did my dick fall off?
176 00:09:42 Your dick fell off.
177 00:09:43 Good luck being gay with no dick.
178 00:09:55 - May I help you?- What was that?
179 00:09:58 What? I was just answeringDell's question.
180 00:10:00 No, you weren't.You totally threw me under the bus.
181 00:10:03 And not like any bus, like a giant,hulking tour bus for Beyoncé.
182 00:10:07 - Don't be dramatic.- I'm not.
183 00:10:09 But you made me seemlike a prudish, sexophobic freak.
184 00:10:12 Well, isn't that kind of true?
185 00:10:15 No.
186 00:10:16 What?
187 00:10:18 That is so not true.
188 00:10:20 - I never wanted to wait until marriage.- Shh. Okay.
189 00:10:22 - Not that specifically.- Well, then what specifically?
190 00:10:27 Okay.
191 00:10:28 Why is it every time we're,you know, like, going at it,
192 00:10:33 you always put the brakes onat a certain point?
193 00:10:35 Well... I don't know.
194 00:10:38 I just... We've never really talkedabout going past that point.
195 00:10:43 - Maybe we should just go for it.- Yeah.
196 00:10:45 You know, I mean...
197 00:10:48 - I'd like to.- Yeah, I know. Me too.
198 00:10:50 Okay, so when?
199 00:11:00 Let's get a hotel room.
200 00:11:01 - What?- Let's do it.
201 00:11:02 Let's get a hotel room next week.
202 00:11:05 Deal?
203 00:11:07 Okay, I don't thinkyou're supposed to shake on this.
204 00:11:10 - Okay. Deal.- Okay.
205 00:11:11 I'm gonna sex you so goodyou wont know what time it is.
206 00:11:15 Wow.
207 00:11:16 - I like that.- Yeah?
208 00:11:18 I'm gonna sex you like a tornado on fire.
209 00:11:21 Nice.
210 00:11:22 I'm gonna sex youlike a gorilla would sex his...
211 00:11:26 fuzzy, furry gorilla...
212 00:11:29 life mate.
213 00:11:31 - You should workshop that one.- Yeah, it's not as good.
214 00:11:36 The Golgi apparatus is responsible
215 00:11:38 for the manufacturing and shipping
216 00:11:40 of the molecules produced by,
217 00:11:43 and synthesized in,the endoplasmic reticulum.
218 00:11:47 But the most amazing thingabout all of this...
219 00:11:50 is Alex Trueloveis going to have sex next week.
220 00:11:53 What?
221 00:11:55 Hot...
222 00:11:56 sweaty...
223 00:11:57 ass-slapping intercourse...
224 00:12:00 of a sexual kind.
225 00:12:03 Just try not to fuck it up.
226 00:12:06 Okay, yeah.
227 00:12:09 Okay, read pages 121 through 140
228 00:12:12 for tomorrow, guys.
229 00:12:13 - Okay?- Okay.
230 00:12:14 Okay?
231 00:12:19 I found my dick.
232 00:12:20 I'll be the judge of that.
233 00:12:22 Not that it's any of your business,but Claire and I talked
234 00:12:25 and we're planninga little date next week.
235 00:12:27 A consummation, if you will.
236 00:12:29 "Consummation"? Are you my grandma?
237 00:12:32 - I need your help.- It's called "bumping uglies," Alex.
238 00:12:34 Your sister's help.
239 00:12:35 Or "vaginal humping"if you want to get technical.
240 00:12:38 - Dell!- What?
241 00:12:39 I need Hillary to book me a hotel room.
242 00:12:41 You predator.
243 00:12:42 You have to be over 18 to book a room.
244 00:12:44 - So get Josh to do it. He's 18.- What?
245 00:12:46 No, no. I want to keep thisunder the radar.
246 00:12:48 Is she still in town?
247 00:12:49 Oh, she's in townfor the foreseeable future.
248 00:12:51 Fun fact, she got kicked outof Northside Community College,
249 00:12:54 - if you can believe that.- Okay, will you talk to her, please?
250 00:12:58 Since it's for a good cause. Yeah! Yeah!
251 00:13:00 - Yeah! Yeah!- Oh!
252 00:13:02 Yeah, congratulations, Truelove.
253 00:13:04 You will be a man soon.
254 00:13:06 Well, that makes one of you.
255 00:13:08 Okay, sidebar. Sophie Hicks.
256 00:13:11 ♪ Ooh, babyDo you know what that's worth? ♪
257 00:13:15 ♪ Ooh, heaven is a place on earth ♪
258 00:13:18 ♪ They say in heaven love comes first ♪
259 00:13:22 ♪ We'll make heaven a place on earth ♪
260 00:13:26 Dell has had a mad crushon Sophie Hicks since elementary school.
261 00:13:30 In the sixth grade,he thought it'd be a brilliant move
262 00:13:32 to take some 11-year old beefcake selfiesand send them to her for Valentine's Day.
263 00:13:37 Of course, Sophie couldn't keepa treasure like that to herself,
264 00:13:40 and it wasn't longbefore the entire sixth grade
265 00:13:42 was enjoying Dell's photo shoot.
266 00:13:44 Thus branding him "Delgado Beanpolio"for the rest of his life.
267 00:13:48 But he didn't care.
268 00:13:49 Dell has always been an optimist.
269 00:13:51 Sophie Hicks.
270 00:13:52 You know you love me.
271 00:13:54 Yeah, let me sleep on that one.
272 00:13:56 Are you inviting me to sleep with you?
273 00:13:59 Sophie, that's so forward.
274 00:14:01 In another dimension, Delgado.Another dimension.
275 00:14:08 A man can dream.
276 00:14:11 So, I'm thinkingwe go full Great Gatsby for prom.
277 00:14:15 Some hardcore Jay and Daisy action.What do you think?
278 00:14:21 Hello?
279 00:14:22 Condoms.
280 00:14:24 What?
281 00:14:26 I don't have any condoms,so we should stop off at the Rite Aid
282 00:14:29 before we do the whole hotel thing.
283 00:14:31 Oh, God, Alex,please do not freak out about this.
284 00:14:35 I'm not freaking out.
285 00:14:36 Yes, you are. I know you.
286 00:14:38 You will stress out and get all uptightand scrunch up your face,
287 00:14:41 just like you are doing right now.
288 00:14:44 You shouldn't worry so much.
289 00:14:46 It's not sexy.
290 00:14:47 Excuse me? I'm plenty sexy.
291 00:14:52 Wow, what a... what a crazy party.
292 00:14:56 You're awesome.
293 00:15:00 Yes.
294 00:15:02 Has anyone ever told youthat you have beautiful breasts?
295 00:15:06 So perky and well-proportioned.
296 00:15:13 You should take off your bra.
297 00:15:17 Oh, you want me to take off your bra?
298 00:15:21 Okay.
299 00:15:23 Oh, nice.
300 00:15:26 Boobies.
301 00:15:28 Mmm.
302 00:15:30 Does that feel good?
303 00:15:33 Do you like that?
304 00:15:35 I want to throw caution to the wind
305 00:15:38 and make sweet love to you.
306 00:15:41 Long and sensuous.
307 00:15:45 I want to slide my hard cock
308 00:15:47 into your wet pussy.
309 00:15:49 - Alex?- What? What?
310 00:15:52 Claire's here.
311 00:15:53 Great.
312 00:15:55 Who were you talking to?
313 00:15:57 No one. Myself.
314 00:15:59 My monkey.
315 00:16:02 Okay.
316 00:16:04 Hey!
317 00:16:06 Okay, so Dell does not knowthat it's a Drama party.
318 00:16:08 So don't tell him anything.
319 00:16:11 What's up? What's going on?
320 00:16:14 I got in.
321 00:16:16 To Columbia?
322 00:16:17 Oh, my God. That's awesome.
323 00:16:19 Congratulations. Amazing.
324 00:16:21 You got into Columbia?
325 00:16:23 Ron, Claire got into Columbia.
326 00:16:27 - Congrats, Claire.- Thanks.
327 00:16:29 So when the hellare you gonna hear from Columbia?
328 00:16:31 He's gonna get in. I applied early.That's the only reason I heard.
329 00:16:34 You sent in the essay about Scout camp?
330 00:16:36 Nope, I sent the oneabout the autistic kid at the rec center.
331 00:16:39 Ooh, that's good. Autism is good.I'm sure you're in.
332 00:16:41 It's a good thing we have autistic kidsto help us get into college.
333 00:16:44 Okay, Mr. Sarcasm.You'll be whistling a different tune
334 00:16:48 when you and Claire are walking acrossthe Columbia quad together next fall.
335 00:16:52 Dad, just don't jinx it, okay?I'm stressed out enough already.
336 00:16:54 Okay. Well, we are very proudof you, Claire.
337 00:16:58 Oh, thanks.
338 00:17:00 I can't wait to visit you two on campus.
339 00:17:02 Shut up, Dell.I don't even know if I got in.
340 00:17:04 And Claire, FYI, I will be tryingto hook up with your roommate.
341 00:17:07 So, let's just tryand get that out in the open
342 00:17:09 so no one's uncomfortable later.
343 00:17:11 Okay, duly noted, Dell.
344 00:17:15 Willkommen!
345 00:17:17 Wait, is this a Drama party?
346 00:17:20 - Hey.- Hi.
347 00:17:22 Here. You're welcome too, my boy.
348 00:17:31 Hi!
349 00:17:32 You were so good!
350 00:17:35 You're killing me. You're so good.
351 00:17:47 You sure you don't wantanything stronger to drink?
352 00:17:50 We're completely surrounded by Drama kids.
353 00:17:52 This is Amaro,the Italian digestif, my friend.
354 00:17:55 - What do you have against Drama kids?- They only have shit like "Amaro"
355 00:17:58 to drink at a party.
356 00:17:59 Trust me, it's strong.That's why I'm sipping it.
357 00:18:01 One day, Truelove,I'm gonna get you freakin' hammered
358 00:18:04 on good old-fashioned beer,
359 00:18:05 and then you'll realize that cutting looseis actually fun.
360 00:18:08 Acting dumb and puking your guts outsure sounds like a lot of fun to me.
361 00:18:12 Don't knock it till you tried it.
362 00:18:17 Greetings, Buchanan Drama geeks.
363 00:18:19 This party is about to begin.
364 00:18:21 Please tell me you brought me beer.
365 00:18:23 Beer?
366 00:18:24 Where we're going, we don't need beer.
367 00:18:29 It's a frog.
368 00:18:31 It's the Guyana banana leaf toad.
369 00:18:34 Wait. That's an extremely rare species.
370 00:18:35 Hell yeah. Do you know how hard it wasto get one over the internet?
371 00:18:38 You smuggled an illegal exotic animalinto the country?
372 00:18:42 Illegal, exotic,and highly psychoactive, baby.
373 00:18:47 I owe you and Claire a huge thank youfor your weird-ass videos.
374 00:18:51 Otherwise, I wouldn't even knowthat this guy exists.
375 00:18:56 So...
376 00:18:57 Who's first?
377 00:19:01 No.
378 00:19:02 No way, we're not licking this frog.
379 00:19:04 Oh, we are so licking this frog.
380 00:19:06 Dell, wait, that is dangerous,and toxic, and...
381 00:19:10 And delicious.
382 00:19:13 All right, I can't watch this.I gotta go pee.
383 00:19:16 Shit.
384 00:19:17 What happened?
385 00:19:20 Uh...
386 00:19:21 You lost the frog?You... you dumb shit!
387 00:19:25 God help us.
388 00:19:39 Shut the door.
389 00:19:40 Shut it.
390 00:19:45 Sorry to be so gruff, but honestly,I don't want to advertise this
391 00:19:48 to the entire world, okay?
392 00:19:50 Yeah, sure, sure.
393 00:19:53 Come on, join the cool kids.
394 00:19:55 Hey.
395 00:20:00 - Do you guys go to Buchanan?- No.
396 00:20:02 Actually, I go to Northridgeand I met Sophie at drama camp.
397 00:20:05 He doesn't even go to high school.
398 00:20:07 Yeah, I'm a juvenile delinquent.
399 00:20:10 Really?
400 00:20:11 No. I graduated last year.
401 00:20:14 Tragically, she's still gotone more year to endure.
402 00:20:17 Yeah, that's why I'm getting stoned.
403 00:20:21 Okay.
404 00:20:22 Elliot.
405 00:20:23 Alex.
406 00:20:25 Gretchen.
407 00:20:26 Yeah! Hey!
408 00:20:29 I think we're here to corrupt you, Alex.
409 00:20:33 He's gone.He's totally fucking gone, Dell.
410 00:20:36 Don't yell at me, man.It was a slippery little shit.
411 00:20:39 You owe me $1,100 bucks.
412 00:20:41 I'd be more concernedabout the environmental catastrophe
413 00:20:43 when that thing breeds.
414 00:20:44 That's not funny, dude.
415 00:20:46 Help me look.
416 00:20:48 Have you lookednext to the singing garden hose?
417 00:20:55 What are you talking about?
418 00:20:59 I, uh... yeah.
419 00:21:04 I think I'm going to go insideand get a drink of water.
420 00:21:08 What is this weird vendetta that you haveagainst the cheerleaders at our school?
421 00:21:13 The cheerleaders at our schoolphone it in.
422 00:21:17 I mean, if they were morelike the competition cheerleaders
423 00:21:19 that actually did gymnasticsand had real skills
424 00:21:22 and smiled so widethat they looked psychotic,
425 00:21:24 I'd totally be into it.
426 00:21:26 - Okay, fine, you have a point.- I definitely have a point.
427 00:21:29 Every time we have an argument, I'm right.
428 00:21:31 So the sooner you accept that,the better our relationship will be.
429 00:21:34 - Okay. Kiss and make up.- Yeah.
430 00:21:37 Aww, you guys are the cutest couple.
431 00:21:39 Mmm, I think so.
432 00:21:41 If only Elliot were straight.
433 00:21:44 - Shut up.- Or bi...
434 00:21:46 Or poly.
435 00:21:47 Then at least I'd have a chance.
436 00:21:50 What's "poly"?
437 00:21:51 It's some new thing kids at our schoolare experimenting with.
438 00:21:55 Polyamory.
439 00:21:56 Everyone except this one.
440 00:21:58 But, alas...
441 00:22:05 Sorry, wrong room.
442 00:22:06 Don't be silly.
443 00:22:07 - Come join us, kind knave.- No, no, really, I...
444 00:22:10 Oh, hush. Oh, hush, hush, hush, hush.
445 00:22:13 We're gonna play Sound Ball.
446 00:22:15 Sweet, gentle Jesus.
447 00:22:19 You guys live together?
448 00:22:21 Uh, yeah, my dad sort of flippedabout the whole gay thing, so...
449 00:22:26 Oh, shit.
450 00:22:27 Oh, yeah, I mean, it wasn't a surprise.He's kind of a redneck.
451 00:22:31 Plus, I posted a coming out videoon YouTube,
452 00:22:33 which did not help my case.
453 00:22:37 Did he kick you out?
454 00:22:42 It was a mutual decision.
455 00:22:46 Besides, I graduated, so...
456 00:22:49 Time for me to spread my wings, right?
457 00:22:52 And lucky for me, Gretchen has, like,the coolest parents known to man.
458 00:22:58 Elliot can cook,so we're totally keeping him.
459 00:23:02 And last week, he made this...
460 00:23:05 kick-ass osso buco.
461 00:23:10 I'm not even sure I know what that is.
462 00:23:14 It's really fucking good.
463 00:23:36 Oh. Oh, God, no. Please, no.
464 00:23:38 No, no.
465 00:23:47 Remember me, bitch?
466 00:23:49 I'm sorry.
467 00:24:00 God, he's good.
468 00:24:02 I don't know him. Was he in Pippin?
469 00:24:08 So, mister fancy class president Alex,
470 00:24:13 What are your craziest hopes and dreams?
471 00:24:15 Oh, I don't know how crazy they are.
472 00:24:17 Go to Columbia next year,
473 00:24:19 major in Marine Biology,
474 00:24:21 get married at some point, have kids.
475 00:24:24 Maybe move out west to...
476 00:24:26 Seattle, Arizona...
477 00:24:27 Wow.
478 00:24:29 You've got the whole thing all mapped out.
479 00:24:31 Yeah. What can I say? I'm a planner.
480 00:24:47 Alex.
481 00:24:59 Worms.
482 00:25:01 Eat us.
483 00:25:03 Eat us.
484 00:25:07 Delicious worms.
485 00:25:24 National Geographic photographer.
486 00:25:26 Hm?
487 00:25:27 Crazy hopes and dreams.
488 00:25:29 I guess.
489 00:25:31 I tell people marine biologist because...
490 00:25:33 because it sounds lucrative, but...
491 00:25:36 really, I just want to take picturesof animals.
492 00:25:38 It's pretty nerdy, I guess.
493 00:25:40 - Okay, what's your favorite animal?- Proboscis monkey.
494 00:25:42 - They live in the mango groves of Borneo.- Wow.
495 00:25:44 - Yep.- That's intense.
496 00:25:46 - Yes. Sorry, I'm a little obsessed.- That's okay.
497 00:25:49 I like a guy with strong opinions.
498 00:25:55 Yeah.
499 00:26:04 There you are!
500 00:26:06 You little stoner.
501 00:26:09 Guys, meet my friend, Claire.
502 00:26:11 Friend?
503 00:26:13 Unh-unh.
504 00:26:14 I am his lover.
505 00:26:17 We do dirty things together.
506 00:26:19 Okay, little miss Chatty Cathy.
507 00:26:21 Sorry, was that TMI? I'm a little buzzed.
508 00:26:24 It's okay. We totally supportpassionate love making.
509 00:26:27 - Oh, actually, we have not...- Okay, I think we should go.
510 00:26:30 Yeah, let's go. Let's go home.
511 00:26:31 - We should get you home.- Oh, I'm feeling a little...
512 00:26:34 - Let me get you home.- Bye.
513 00:26:36 Alex, it was nice to meet you.
514 00:26:38 Yeah, nice to meet you.
515 00:26:42 Bye.
516 00:26:46 Get away from here!
517 00:26:51 Okay. Where are we going?
518 00:26:54 - You're sexy.- You're sexy.
519 00:26:56 A sexy...
520 00:26:57 sex man.
521 00:27:00 Screw the hotel, let's just do it here.
522 00:27:02 What? I don't know.
523 00:27:04 - Get in the tub, bitch!- Okay.
524 00:27:10 Are you serious?
525 00:27:12 - Is this the right atmosphere for...- Shh.
526 00:27:19 - Oh, hello, Dell.- Hey, Dell.
527 00:27:23 Hey, you don't look so good, man.
528 00:27:25 You feeling okay?
529 00:27:26 ♪ When I see your face ♪
530 00:27:31 ♪ There's not a thingThat I would change ♪
531 00:27:46 It's strangely beautiful.
532 00:27:49 I want to go home.
533 00:27:56 I'm sorry.
534 00:27:58 I did not mean to get so drunk.
535 00:28:00 That's okay.
536 00:28:02 You're pretty.
537 00:28:04 Even when you're shit-faced.
538 00:28:07 Thank you for washingthe gummy-puke off of me.
539 00:28:10 You're welcome. Thanks for letting meborrow your sweatshirt.
540 00:28:16 I...
541 00:28:19 can't wait to have sex with you.
542 00:28:23 Mmm.
543 00:28:24 Me too.
544 00:28:26 Mmm. Come here.
545 00:28:29 Mmm.
546 00:28:33 Is Dell okay?
547 00:28:35 Yeah, he's just lying in the flower bed.
548 00:28:39 I think it's the best place for himright now.
549 00:29:16 - Who are you texting?- Oh.
550 00:29:19 You startled me.
551 00:29:21 How you feeling, party girl?
552 00:29:23 You okay?
553 00:29:26 Better than him, at least.
554 00:29:29 Who are you texting?
555 00:29:31 I'm texting that guy Elliotfrom the party last night.
556 00:29:33 We were hanging out in the bedroom.
557 00:29:35 - The gay kid?- Yeah.
558 00:29:37 He's going to this show in Brooklyn,and has an extra ticket, so...
559 00:29:41 You know?
560 00:29:42 Whoa.
561 00:29:43 Brooklyn.
562 00:29:45 Look at you, hipster man.
563 00:29:47 Yeah.
564 00:29:49 You can come if you want,but I think he only has one ticket.
565 00:29:53 I think I've got to lay low today.
566 00:29:56 But you guys...
567 00:29:58 rock it out.
568 00:29:59 Yeah.
569 00:30:02 ♪ And I can tell ♪
570 00:30:04 ♪ When you get nervous ♪
571 00:30:06 ♪ You think being yourselfMeans being unworthy ♪
572 00:30:11 ♪ And it's hard to loveWith a heart that's hurting ♪
573 00:30:15 ♪ But if you want to go out dancing ♪
574 00:30:20 ♪ I know a place ♪
575 00:30:23 ♪ I know a place we can go ♪
576 00:30:26 ♪ Yeah ♪
577 00:30:27 ♪ Where everyoneGonna lay down their weapon ♪
578 00:30:31 ♪ Lay down their weapon ♪
579 00:30:33 ♪ Just give me trustAnd watch what'll happen ♪
580 00:30:37 ♪ 'Cause I know ♪
581 00:30:40 ♪ I know a place we can run ♪
582 00:30:43 ♪ Yeah ♪
583 00:30:44 ♪ Where everyoneGonna lay down their weapon ♪
584 00:30:48 ♪ Lay down their weapon ♪
585 00:30:51 ♪ Don't you be afraidOf love and affection ♪
586 00:30:55 ♪ Just lay down your weapon ♪
587 00:30:59 ♪ Lay down your weapon ♪
588 00:31:05 - Dude, and that haircut? It was legendary.- Amazing.
589 00:31:08 And the guitarist girl,
590 00:31:10 when she was playingwith her hair in her face.
591 00:31:12 - She was flipping it away.- No fucks given.
592 00:31:15 - I've never been to a concert like that.- Dude, I'm so glad you liked it!
593 00:31:20 Hey, I've got to say,I'm glad Gretchen bailed on you tonight.
594 00:31:23 It was fun.
595 00:31:24 Actually, I have a confession.
596 00:31:27 Gretchen was never coming. I said that'cause I didn't want it to sound weird
597 00:31:31 - that I invited you out of the blue.- Oh.
598 00:31:34 Very sneaky.
599 00:31:37 So why did you just invite meout of the blue?
600 00:31:39 I don't know.
601 00:31:40 Maybe I like the fact that you're obsessedwith that penis-faced monkey.
602 00:31:43 It's not penis-faced.
603 00:31:45 Alex, I looked it up.
604 00:31:46 - That thing has a cock nose.- What? No. That's ridiculous.
605 00:31:49 The real question is,what does that say about you?
606 00:31:52 Nothing.
607 00:31:56 I like other animals too, you know.I like the octopus.
608 00:31:59 Excuse me? That's like a peniseight different times.
609 00:32:02 It's like an entire creaturemade of penises.
610 00:32:05 - It's like an "octo-cock."- Maybe you just like reading into things.
611 00:32:09 Maybe.
612 00:32:15 So, I have a girlfriend.
613 00:32:17 I know.
614 00:32:19 I met her. She's adorable.
615 00:32:21 She is. She is.
616 00:32:24 Are you in love?
617 00:32:26 Yeah.
618 00:32:27 - Yeah?- Yeah. Definitely.
619 00:32:28 Have you guys, uh...?
620 00:32:30 That's not... That's private.
621 00:32:32 Come on, whatm are you a Mormon?
622 00:32:34 - No.- Okay. So?
623 00:32:37 Well, if you...
624 00:32:40 - If you must know, we haven't quite...- I knew it.
625 00:32:43 But we're going to.I booked a hotel room next week, so...
626 00:32:49 Yeah, something like that.
627 00:32:51 - Yeah.- You're not nervous at all? Like, at all?
628 00:32:54 No.
629 00:32:55 I'm freaking stoked.I'm totally, totally stoked and thrilled.
630 00:32:58 I can't wait.I wish it was happening tonight.
631 00:33:01 I don't believe you.
632 00:33:04 All right, well,perhaps I am a little bit...
633 00:33:07 - terrified of the whole thing.- Yeah.
634 00:33:08 - Thought so.- I...
635 00:33:10 I know I'm not like mister alpha male guy.
636 00:33:13 I'm listening.
637 00:33:14 I love Claire.
638 00:33:15 I really do.
639 00:33:16 - Yeah, but do you want to rock her body?- Yes. I would like to.
640 00:33:19 I would very much like to rock her body.
641 00:33:21 Okay, then go forth and conquer.
642 00:33:24 Just here's the thing.
643 00:33:29 I'm a virgin.
644 00:33:31 What? No.
645 00:33:32 But Claire isn't. None of them are.
646 00:33:34 What do you mean? Are you sayingno girls in high school are virgins?
647 00:33:38 No. I'm saying that girls know their shit.
648 00:33:40 You know, they have websitesdedicated to their vaginas.
649 00:33:44 They Snapchat their bazongaswith their friends.
650 00:33:46 Bazongas?
651 00:33:47 They shoot gnarly sex videoswith their boyfriends,
652 00:33:49 and then post them online.
653 00:33:51 They watch Game of Thrones.
654 00:33:52 Okay, you might have a point.
655 00:33:55 I'm just... I'm worriedthat I'm not gonna measure up.
656 00:33:57 What? Dude, Alex, you can't worryabout that stuff.
657 00:34:00 I do, I worry about that kind of stuffall the time.
658 00:34:02 You know, what if I'm not as goodas her last boyfriend?
659 00:34:04 Or what if I can't find the, um...
660 00:34:07 You know, the frigging...
661 00:34:09 - The little...- Clitoris.
662 00:34:10 The clitoris. Yes.See, I can't remember the name of it.
663 00:34:13 You know, I'm like totallynot an expert on this, um,
664 00:34:16 but I've found that...
665 00:34:19 when you are in the moment,
666 00:34:21 things just fall into place,
667 00:34:23 and it just happens.
668 00:34:28 You shouldn't worry so much, Alex.
669 00:34:31 Yeah, I've heard that before.
670 00:34:36 So, wait, you've slept with girls?
671 00:34:39 I tried. It never really worked out.
672 00:34:41 Right. But you said everythingjust fell into place.
673 00:34:45 Yeah, with guys.I mean, that's how I knew I was gay.
674 00:34:48 Right.
675 00:34:49 Right. But how did you... how did you,like, know you were gay,
676 00:34:52 and not bi or something like that?
677 00:34:55 How do you know you're straight?
678 00:34:57 I don't know. I guess I just knew.
679 00:35:00 I guess.
680 00:35:02 You guess?
681 00:35:04 Yeah. I don't know.
682 00:35:06 You're a dork.
683 00:35:07 - I'm not a dork.- Yes, you are.
684 00:35:09 A dork is what you call a whale's penis.
685 00:35:13 That's the term for it.
686 00:35:14 And the shitty thing is,
687 00:35:16 guys like my dad,they're giving Jesus a bad name, okay?
688 00:35:19 Because from all that I know,Jesus was amazing.
689 00:35:23 I mean, I don't know,he helped out the poor and sick, okay,
690 00:35:26 he loves you unconditionally...
691 00:35:29 I just think all those kidswith their WWJD wristbands
692 00:35:33 need to ask themselves,"What would Jesus actually do?"
693 00:35:37 Call me a "faggot loser"?
694 00:35:40 Did your dad call you that?
695 00:35:44 It's not really worth getting into.
696 00:35:51 What I don't get is...
697 00:35:53 how do you knowif you're like a good person?
698 00:35:57 I feel like if you're asking yourselfthat question,
699 00:35:59 you're probably a good person.
700 00:36:02 At least you're trying.
701 00:36:06 You're a smart kid, Alex.
702 00:36:08 Mm-hmm. 3.94 GPA.
703 00:36:11 I don't mean like that, you nerd.
704 00:36:13 I mean, like...
705 00:36:15 that you're insightful.
706 00:36:17 I don't know.
707 00:36:18 Most of the timeI just feel like I'm confused.
708 00:36:23 Maybe you think I'm insightfulbecause you're special.
709 00:36:28 - Special Ed- Rude.
710 00:36:30 Ooh, cat-like reflexes.
711 00:36:32 - That was good.- Oh!
712 00:36:35 You're strong.
713 00:36:40 All right, you win, you win.
714 00:36:48 Well, um...
715 00:36:51 I guess, like, I should be...
716 00:36:54 "on the road," as they say.
717 00:36:57 As who says? Willie Nelson?
718 00:36:59 Yeah, Willie Nelson.
719 00:37:11 That was really great.
720 00:37:12 Shhh. Shh.
721 00:37:15 Don't ruin the song.
722 00:37:16 ♪ Now your sad eyes reveal ♪
723 00:37:21 ♪ Just how badly you feel ♪
724 00:37:26 ♪ 'Cause there is no ♪
725 00:37:31 ♪ Easy way down ♪
726 00:37:38 ♪ The view from the cliffs ♪
727 00:37:42 ♪ Must have been exciting ♪
728 00:37:45 Wow.
729 00:37:48 ♪ And up to the peaks... ♪
730 00:37:51 I want you to know something.
731 00:37:52 ♪ You were bound ♪
732 00:37:54 What?
733 00:37:56 There's a girl on your front porch.
734 00:38:01 Wow. That would be...
735 00:38:03 - That would be Claire.- I thought so.
736 00:38:05 - She just came out of your house.- Gee. This is...
737 00:38:08 This is...
738 00:38:09 It was a pleasure hanging out with you.
739 00:38:11 Yes. Nice doing business with you.
740 00:38:15 Perhaps we can hang out again.
741 00:38:17 Perhaps we could. Perhaps we could.
742 00:38:19 - Thank you for the ride.- Yeah, sure.
743 00:38:22 - Uh, text me...- Bye-bye.
744 00:38:24 ...some time.
745 00:38:29 Jesus, how long you been out here?
746 00:38:31 Not long.
747 00:38:33 - Did you guys have fun?- Uh, yeah, it was fine.
748 00:38:35 You were gone a long time.
749 00:38:37 Uh...
750 00:38:38 - Yeah, we got some food after the show.- How romantic.
751 00:38:41 - Not really.- Did you guys make out?
752 00:38:43 What? No?Why would you say that?
753 00:38:45 Calm down, I was joking.
754 00:38:47 I like you. I like girls.
755 00:38:50 I want to sleep with girls,you in particular.
756 00:38:52 That's a relief.
757 00:38:53 Geez, I can't wait to sleep with you.
758 00:38:56 What is your problem?
759 00:38:57 Nothing, but it's midnight and you show uphere like this crazy stalker person.
760 00:39:00 Excuse me?
761 00:39:02 I can't have one night to myself?
762 00:39:04 Okay.
763 00:39:06 I don't know what your deal is,
764 00:39:07 but you're acting like an asshole,so I'm gonna go.
765 00:39:12 - Claire...- And just for the record,
766 00:39:14 I was with my mom at the hospital tonight.
767 00:39:16 She's okay, but I got really depressedhanging out there,
768 00:39:18 so I thought I'd come here.
769 00:39:20 Big mistake.
770 00:39:21 Claire...
771 00:39:22 You know, it's not always about you, Alex.
772 00:39:27 Claire.
773 00:39:32 Okay...
774 00:39:41 Hi, interweb.
775 00:39:43 No new episodesof Savage Kingdom High today.
776 00:39:47 In fact...
777 00:39:48 I'm alone, because...
778 00:39:51 frankly, my counterpartis on my shit list.
779 00:39:55 Can someone please explainmodern high school boys to me?
780 00:39:59 They are so...
781 00:40:01 oversensitive,
782 00:40:02 and high-strung, and selfish,
783 00:40:05 and just like rude.
784 00:40:08 My mom made me watch this old moviethe other day, Sixteen Candles,
785 00:40:12 and in it, the main girlis in love with a senior, Jake.
786 00:40:15 And Jake is hot. Like hot, hot.
787 00:40:19 And he's kind of a tool, but he's...
788 00:40:22 sweet and dumb,
789 00:40:24 and I'm like, "Yes, that is what I want.
790 00:40:26 I want a Jake."
791 00:40:28 I mean, Alex is...
792 00:40:30 straight A's, class president,pretty decent dresser,
793 00:40:33 like perfect boyfriend on paper,
794 00:40:35 but he is more high-maintenance
795 00:40:37 than all of my girlfriends put together.
796 00:40:40 And it's not like he...
797 00:40:41 Oh my God, Mom.
798 00:40:43 Sorry, I just...
799 00:40:48 I may not be the best personfor relationship advice.
800 00:40:51 Clearly, your father would agree.
801 00:40:54 But my sense is
802 00:40:56 that Alex is a pretty decent guy.
803 00:40:59 It's just, sometimes he acts like...
804 00:41:02 he's stuck in a marriage.
805 00:41:04 You know?
806 00:41:06 Like I'm constricting him,
807 00:41:08 and all he wants to do is hang outwith his dumbass friends.
808 00:41:12 Sounds like a teenage boy to me.
809 00:41:15 Teenage boys suck.
810 00:41:16 That they do.
811 00:41:18 But so do college boysand middle-aged men.
812 00:41:22 Old guys are okay, I guess,except for the...
813 00:41:25 cranky, racist ones.
814 00:41:30 Maybe I should become a lesbian.
815 00:41:32 Believe me, I've thought about it.
816 00:41:35 So, what do I do?
817 00:41:37 Just forgive Alex for being a dickand move on?
818 00:41:41 Or you could stay mad.
819 00:41:45 But what I do know is...
820 00:41:47 we're not gonna be on this earth forever.
821 00:41:52 And...
822 00:41:54 being angry is an exhausting wayto spend your day.
823 00:42:01 I love you.
824 00:42:03 I love you, too.
825 00:42:08 Oh, I heard what you were saying
826 00:42:10 about Jake in Sixteen Candles.
827 00:42:13 You'd be bored with a Jake.
828 00:42:15 You're too smart.
829 00:42:45 Whoa.
830 00:42:47 Okay.
831 00:42:57 Gay Flakes.
832 00:43:01 Heter O's. Gay Flakes.
833 00:43:21 Bi.
834 00:43:24 I'm bisexual.
835 00:43:27 - Say what?- I'm bisexual. I think I'm bisexual.
836 00:43:29 - No, you're not.- What?
837 00:43:31 You're panicking, dude.
838 00:43:33 You're wigging out about the hotel,
839 00:43:34 and you're trying to come upwith an excuse to cancel it.
840 00:43:37 No, I'm just taking advantageof all the options available.
841 00:43:39 Do you listen to Panic! at the Disco
842 00:43:41 while jerking off to pictures of vampires?
843 00:43:43 What? No.
844 00:43:44 Then you're not bisexual.
845 00:43:46 I...
846 00:43:47 It's just that there's this guy...
847 00:43:49 who I'm pretty sure has a crush on me,
848 00:43:52 and I guess I'm not...
849 00:43:53 - repulsed by the idea.- Hm.
850 00:43:57 I see.
851 00:44:01 What are you doing?Where are you going?
852 00:44:04 What are you doing?
853 00:44:05 - Aah!- Oh, Jesus, dude.
854 00:44:07 - Is this what you want, Alex?- No, not at all!
855 00:44:09 Oh, really? That's not what I washearing a minute ago.
856 00:44:12 You say you're into cock?Well, here you go.
857 00:44:14 The finest specimen at Buchanan High.
858 00:44:18 Oh, pay this no mind, ladies.
859 00:44:19 I'm just proving a little pointto your student body president.
860 00:44:22 I'm not interested in your junk.Put it away.
861 00:44:24 Oh, but I thought you were bi.
862 00:44:26 I'm not interested in your junk.Your junk.
863 00:44:28 - Zip it up.- I am.
864 00:44:31 See my point, Truelove?
865 00:44:33 How am I to believeyou're into slurping on nutsack,
866 00:44:35 when you won't look at mine?
867 00:44:37 - I'm not into slurping on nutsack.- Right.
868 00:44:39 You know why?Because nutsacks aren't sexy.
869 00:44:42 Look, it's a confusing time, man.
870 00:44:45 I mean, everywhere you look,someone's omnisexual, or...
871 00:44:48 polyamorous, or gender queer,
872 00:44:50 or transitioning into God knows what.
873 00:44:52 And before you know it,you turn into Sidney.
874 00:44:54 Hey, Sidney.
875 00:44:56 Are you into vagina or dick?
876 00:44:58 I'm attracted to the person.
877 00:45:01 Whatever the fuck that means.
878 00:45:03 Sorry, Sydney. I'm sorry.
879 00:45:04 It's like Mad Max out here.
880 00:45:05 You know, guys doing guys,
881 00:45:07 girls doing girls...not that I object to that.
882 00:45:09 Girls turning into guys and doing girlsthat used to do girls and guys. Aah!
883 00:45:14 Isn't anyone just plain straight anymore?
884 00:45:17 Which brings us to you, Alex.I have a diagnosis.
885 00:45:20 Geez, I can't wait.
886 00:45:21 What you have is a man crush on a guy.
887 00:45:24 And the guy just happens to be gay.
888 00:45:27 That's how it is.
889 00:45:29 A man crush on a gay guy.
890 00:45:32 - Yeah.- I never really thought of it like that.
891 00:45:34 And that man crush,mixed with your epic neurosis
892 00:45:36 about fucking your girlfriendfor the first time
893 00:45:38 is making you say crazy shit,like you're bi.
894 00:45:40 Yeah, yeah, you could be right.
895 00:45:42 - Of course I'm right.- Sure.
896 00:45:48 Hey, Helen.
897 00:45:50 - How are you?- Great.
898 00:45:52 She's upstairs,and she's not a happy camper,
899 00:45:55 so...
900 00:45:56 don't act like a dumbass.
901 00:45:59 Roger that.
902 00:46:43 Maybe?
903 00:46:49 Do you want to edit the platypus video?
904 00:46:51 I have to take my mom to an appointment.
905 00:46:55 Why are you so cool?
906 00:46:58 I'm serious.
907 00:46:59 You're a rockstar.
908 00:47:01 I don't know what I'd doif my parents were that sick.
909 00:47:04 Probably not take them for grantedso much.
910 00:47:07 Yeah, you would.
911 00:47:08 I still take my mom for grantedall the time.
912 00:47:12 I still make her dealwith my stupid teenage drama.
913 00:47:15 Yeah, you're the worst.
914 00:47:18 You suck.
915 00:47:23 Alex...
916 00:47:27 Maybe this whole hotel idea is stupid.
917 00:47:31 I mean...
918 00:47:32 I just don't want you to feelany pressure whatsoever
919 00:47:35 to do something you're not ready to do.
920 00:47:37 Thank you,
921 00:47:38 but I want to do this.
922 00:47:41 I'm ready.
923 00:47:44 Okay, me too.
924 00:47:45 In fact...
925 00:47:47 I may talk dirty.
926 00:47:48 Well, then, I can't wait.
927 00:47:54 You're so stupid.
928 00:48:04 Magnum.
929 00:48:09 - Alex?- Hey.
930 00:48:11 Elliot, hey.
931 00:48:12 - How's it going?- Great, great.
932 00:48:14 Just browsing, you know.Just sort of, um...
933 00:48:17 You know, uh, getting ideas.
934 00:48:19 Just checking it out.
935 00:48:21 Just seeing what options I have.
936 00:48:23 So, tonight's the night?
937 00:48:25 No, no, no, no, no, um...
938 00:48:27 Tomorrow night, so, yeah.
939 00:48:30 - Extra large?- Yeah.
940 00:48:32 Wow, um...
941 00:48:33 Yeah, maybe a little bit optimistic...
942 00:48:36 on that one.
943 00:48:37 Boop.
944 00:48:41 ♪ Why don't you dance with me? ♪
945 00:48:44 Where are we going?
946 00:48:46 Nowhere.
947 00:48:47 You're so goal-oriented.
948 00:48:53 ♪ Why don't you dance with me? ♪
949 00:48:56 This is crazy. Who is this?
950 00:48:59 You're joking, right?
951 00:49:01 Okay, now you are coming to my house,whether you like it or not.
952 00:49:04 What? Who is it?
953 00:49:05 ♪ Just a limber girl ♪
954 00:49:08 ♪ Dance this mess around ♪
955 00:49:10 ♪ Round, round, round, round ♪
956 00:49:14 ♪ Oh ♪
957 00:49:16 ♪ Everybody goes to parties ♪
958 00:49:21 ♪ They dance this mess around ♪
959 00:49:24 ♪ They do all sixteen dances ♪
960 00:49:28 ♪ They do the Shu ga loo ♪
961 00:49:31 ♪ Do the Shy Tuna ♪
962 00:49:34 ♪ Do the Camel Walk ♪
963 00:49:37 ♪ Do the Hip O Crit ♪
964 00:49:38 ♪ Oh, hippy, hippy, forward hippy ♪
965 00:49:41 ♪ Hippy, hippy, hippy, hippy shake ♪
966 00:49:44 ♪ Oh, it's time to do 'em right ♪
967 00:49:48 ♪ Hey ♪
968 00:49:49 ♪ So don't that make you feelA whole lot better, huh? ♪
969 00:49:52 ♪ I say, don't that make you feelA lot better? ♪
970 00:49:54 ♪ What you say? ♪
971 00:49:56 ♪ Well, I'm just askin' ♪
972 00:50:00 ♪ Ooh ♪
973 00:50:01 Whoo!
974 00:50:03 Amazing.
975 00:50:16 Come here.
976 00:50:19 Over there?
977 00:50:20 Yeah, over here.
978 00:50:36 Do you want to comelike a little bit closer?
979 00:50:43 So...
980 00:50:44 Um...
981 00:50:46 You know, I was thinking aboutthat monkey of yours...
982 00:50:58 Oh, Jesus.
983 00:51:00 - Wow. Uh, that was a nice surprise.- What am I doing? Why did I do that?
984 00:51:04 - I'm really sorry.- Don't apologize.
985 00:51:06 I should go. I'm gonna go.
986 00:51:08 - Hey, Alex, just calm down for one minute.- Calm down?
987 00:51:10 I have a girlfriend,
988 00:51:11 who I am supposed to belosing my virginity to
989 00:51:14 in approximately 29 hours.
990 00:51:15 Wow, this is so not part of the game plan.
991 00:51:17 Sometimes you need to alter the game plan.
992 00:51:20 Look, if I led you on or something,I'm really sorry.
993 00:51:22 Wait. No, no, no, you kissed me.
994 00:51:23 Yeah, like you didn't want me to?
995 00:51:25 "Ooh, Alex, let's go for a drive.
996 00:51:28 Oh, Alex, why don't you come to my room,and I'll do a gay B-52's dance for you.
997 00:51:32 Oh, Alex, why don't you comeand sit on my bed?"
998 00:51:34 - Where you kissed me.- Yeah.
999 00:51:37 I gave you what you wanted.
1000 00:51:41 Alex...
1001 00:51:42 You are one confused kid, you know that?
1002 00:51:46 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1003 00:51:49 What? Alex.
1004 00:51:52 You hear from Columbia yet?
1005 00:51:54 No, you'll be the first to hear when I do.
1006 00:51:57 I still thinkyou could have gotten into Yale.
1007 00:52:00 Class President, for God's sake.
1008 00:52:01 - Seems silly you didn't even apply.- Yeah, well, I didn't.
1009 00:52:04 Seems like the only way to guaranteeyou won't get in is by not applying.
1010 00:52:08 Ron.
1011 00:52:09 - I'm just saying...- Mm-hmm. Okay.
1012 00:52:10 - You're shooting yourself in the foot.- Thanks, Dad, that's super helpful.
1013 00:52:13 Hey. Watch the attitude.
1014 00:52:15 Why don't you get off my back?
1015 00:52:17 Alex.
1016 00:52:19 - What is going on?- Nothing?
1017 00:52:21 I just... I havea really big test tomorrow.
1018 00:52:25 In Physics?
1019 00:52:28 Yeah. Physics.
1020 00:52:32 Well, I'm sure you're going to ace it.
1021 00:52:41 - Something's wrong.- No, nothing's wrong, dude.
1022 00:52:44 - She's been in there forever.- She's been five minutes.
1023 00:52:46 Oh, here she comes, here she comes.
1024 00:52:57 Okay? So?
1025 00:52:59 - You're all set, you little lovebirds.- Thank God.
1026 00:53:02 It's room 231.Checkout is tomorrow at 11:00 a.m.
1027 00:53:04 Just make sure to clean up your mess.
1028 00:53:06 Shut the fuck up, fucktard.No one thinks you're fucking funny.
1029 00:53:09 Who asked you, Princess Scabies?
1030 00:53:11 Watch your mouth, cum weasel.
1031 00:53:12 I left a meeting for this. You're welcome.
1032 00:53:14 - Whore's Anonymous?- Suck my anus.
1033 00:53:16 As much as I love gonorrhea...
1034 00:53:18 Okay, I think we're gonna go.
1035 00:53:20 Oh, my God, Claire,it was a pleasure meeting you.
1036 00:53:22 Yes, it was.
1037 00:53:24 And Alex, break your legs.
1038 00:53:26 Thanks.
1039 00:53:27 Good luck, my friend.
1040 00:53:29 Whoo!
1041 00:53:30 Now drive me home, woman.
1042 00:53:54 Not bad.
1043 00:53:56 Not bad.
1044 00:54:46 ♪ Show me what you're capable of ♪
1045 00:54:52 ♪ Show me what you're capable of ♪
1046 00:54:56 ♪ Is it love? ♪
1047 00:54:59 ♪ Is it love? ♪
1048 00:55:00 Hola.
1049 00:55:02 Ooh.
1050 00:55:03 Holy crap.
1051 00:55:05 What?
1052 00:55:06 Uh...
1053 00:55:08 Sexy, that's what.
1054 00:55:10 I'm glad you approve.
1055 00:55:16 Yeah, yeah, let's get under the covers.
1056 00:55:24 What's this?
1057 00:55:25 A little bubbly refresherthat I swiped from my parents house.
1058 00:55:30 - Cheers.- Cheers.
1059 00:55:36 Mmm.
1060 00:55:58 You're so beautiful.
1061 00:56:00 You're not too bad, yourself.
1062 00:56:04 Oh, baby.
1063 00:56:07 Touch my balls.
1064 00:56:11 What?
1065 00:56:14 Uh...
1066 00:56:16 Did you just say "touch my balls?"
1067 00:56:18 Yeah, so?
1068 00:56:20 What?
1069 00:56:22 - I'm sorry.- I was talking dirty.
1070 00:56:24 I know, I know. It was adorable.
1071 00:56:25 It's not supposed to be,it's supposed to be sexy.
1072 00:56:27 I know, I'm sorry. I've just...
1073 00:56:29 - I've never heard you talk dirty before.- Well...
1074 00:56:32 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1075 00:56:37 Um...
1076 00:56:40 Do you...
1077 00:56:42 want me to touch your balls now?
1078 00:56:44 Never mind.
1079 00:56:45 It's not sexy when you say it like that.
1080 00:56:48 Mmm. I'll play with your balls.
1081 00:56:52 I'll also suck your cock.
1082 00:56:53 Oh, okay.
1083 00:57:01 Oh.
1084 00:57:06 Okay.
1085 00:57:07 Okay, this ain't so bad.
1086 00:57:10 - What did you say?- Uh, nothing, nothing.
1087 00:57:20 Okay, let's do it, let's do it.
1088 00:57:21 - You ready?- Yeah.
1089 00:57:23 - You have a condom?- Yeah.
1090 00:57:34 Okay.
1091 00:57:35 Hang on a second.
1092 00:57:38 Hold on, hold on.
1093 00:57:41 Crap.
1094 00:57:42 Oh, no, that doesn't sound good.
1095 00:57:45 I might need a second.
1096 00:57:47 That's okay.
1097 00:57:51 The condoms are...
1098 00:57:52 Yeah.
1099 00:57:57 Hey, in the meantime...
1100 00:58:00 why don't I doa little something-something-something?
1101 00:58:09 Alex.
1102 00:58:11 - Is that in the right general area?- Yeah.
1103 00:58:16 Oh!
1104 00:58:17 Yeah, right there.
1105 00:58:18 - Oh, ah-ha! That wasn't so hard to find.- Yeah.
1106 00:58:20 - Okay, stop talking, Alex.- Don't know why everybody...
1107 00:58:25 Yeah.
1108 00:58:26 - How about if I speed it up a little?- Don't talk, just do it.
1109 00:58:29 Okay.
1110 00:58:34 - I want you inside of me.- Okay.
1111 00:58:36 - Are you ready?- Yeah.
1112 00:58:37 Semi-ready, if that makes sense.
1113 00:58:40 - Yeah, let me help.- Okay.
1114 00:58:56 Okay, I'm ready.
1115 00:58:58 - Yeah.- Okay.
1116 00:58:59 Let's do it.
1117 00:59:08 Wow.
1118 00:59:10 We are officially having sex.
1119 00:59:12 Yes. Stop talking.
1120 00:59:24 Kind of weird, huh?
1121 00:59:26 What?
1122 00:59:28 It's kind of weird having sexwith your best friend.
1123 00:59:32 Why is it weird?
1124 00:59:34 Just...
1125 00:59:36 No, it's not weird.
1126 00:59:37 It's just... I just meantwe were friends before, and...
1127 00:59:41 Now we're dating.
1128 00:59:44 Right.
1129 00:59:45 Mmm.
1130 00:59:46 - What's weird about it?- Nothing.
1131 00:59:49 Nothing, it's not weird.
1132 00:59:52 It's a...
1133 00:59:54 It's a poor choice of words.Let's just keep going.
1134 00:59:56 You know what? Forget about it.
1135 01:00:00 What's going on?
1136 01:00:01 What do you mean?
1137 01:00:02 You don't seem into thisand I want to know why.
1138 01:00:04 I am into this. I just...
1139 01:00:06 - What?- We just...
1140 01:00:07 Are you not feeling well?Are you nervous?
1141 01:00:10 - Are you gay?- Oh.
1142 01:00:11 The gay card. Nice.
1143 01:00:13 Why is thatthe automatic assumption when...?
1144 01:00:15 When you're not into havin sexwith your girlfriend?
1145 01:00:18 Gee, I don't know.
1146 01:00:19 I want to have sex with you.
1147 01:00:20 - You could have fooled me.- Okay. Fine.
1148 01:00:22 I'm gay. I'm a big gay homo
1149 01:00:24 because I'm smartand I'm a little neurotic and...
1150 01:00:27 And you don't want to have sexwith your girlfriend.
1151 01:00:29 Why are you so obsessed with sex?
1152 01:00:31 Why is everyone so obsessed with sex?
1153 01:00:33 Have you ever stopped to thinkthat maybe I like someone else?
1154 01:00:40 No, I...
1155 01:00:41 never stopped to think that.
1156 01:00:46 That came out wrong.
1157 01:00:49 Who is it?
1158 01:00:53 I can't tell you.
1159 01:01:10 Claire.
1160 01:01:11 You have to leave.
1161 01:01:12 - Claire, please.- Please go.
1162 01:01:15 - Should I just pick...- Get out of here, Alex!
1163 01:01:58 Hi.
1164 01:02:01 I don't want to bug you, but, um...
1165 01:02:04 you got a letter from Columbia.
1166 01:02:24 Can I be alone, please?
1167 01:02:30 Sure.
1168 01:02:53 Mr. President.
1169 01:02:57 Mr. President.
1170 01:02:59 Alex.
1171 01:03:01 Sorry.
1172 01:03:02 Yay or nay to classic streamers for prom?
1173 01:03:23 - Yo.- Yo.
1174 01:03:24 Hey. What?
1175 01:03:25 Hey, giving me the silent treatment?
1176 01:03:28 So?
1177 01:03:30 So what?
1178 01:03:31 Come on. Don't play dumb, dude.
1179 01:03:34 I think we broke up, actually, so...
1180 01:03:39 - Whoa.- I'm fucking over it, Dell.
1181 01:03:41 The whole thing.
1182 01:03:42 Fuck sex, fuck love, fuck it all.
1183 01:03:45 I'm... I'm out.
1184 01:03:50 Lost and separated from the herd,
1185 01:03:53 it is just a matter of time
1186 01:03:54 before the baby elephantdies of starvation.
1187 01:04:05 Whoa, whoa!
1188 01:04:08 Fuck.
1189 01:04:11 Dell.
1190 01:04:13 So, your brilliant planwas to stage a home invasion,
1191 01:04:16 with monkey masks,
1192 01:04:17 kidnap me and take me to a frat party?
1193 01:04:19 I advised against the monkey masks.
1194 01:04:22 What? I love the monkey mask.
1195 01:04:23 I figured a little monkey mask action
1196 01:04:26 would shake youout of your funk, Truelove.
1197 01:04:28 Never thought you'd go all Liam Neesonand smash my face in.
1198 01:04:31 Wow, jeez, I guess your foolproof planhad a flaw in it.
1199 01:04:34 What else were we supposed to do?
1200 01:04:36 You never would have comeif we'd just asked you.
1201 01:04:38 - I'm still not gonna come.- Goddammit, Alex.
1202 01:04:42 Let me give it to you straight.
1203 01:04:44 You are so far up your own ass,and it's fucking depressing.
1204 01:04:47 Excuse me?
1205 01:04:49 You're coming with us to this party,which has booze and slutty girls and...
1206 01:04:54 Booze and slutty girls.
1207 01:04:56 And you're gonna let your littleconstipated hair down and enjoy yourself.
1208 01:04:59 In case you forgot, Dell,I just broke up with my girlfriend.
1209 01:05:03 Okay? So I'm sorryif I'm not in the "Let's party" mood,
1210 01:05:05 and honestly, I'm really, really sickand tired of this,
1211 01:05:08 "Let's get you laid, Alex" routine.I'm not into it.
1212 01:05:10 Whoa, who said anythingabout getting you laid, Truelove?
1213 01:05:13 Clearly, that's impossible.
1214 01:05:15 In fact, I never want to hear
1215 01:05:16 about your flaccidlittle micropenis ever again.
1216 01:05:20 I don't give a shit if you get laidor if you don't get laid,
1217 01:05:23 or if you're bisexual, asexual, pansexual,or if you join fucking NAMBLA.
1218 01:05:28 And as for Claire,
1219 01:05:29 I'm sorry you broke up.
1220 01:05:31 But it was kind of inevitable.
1221 01:05:35 What do you mean?
1222 01:05:36 Everyone breaks upwhen they go to college.
1223 01:05:39 You guys just got a head start on things.
1224 01:05:46 Hey...
1225 01:05:47 I'm sorry to be harsh, dude,
1226 01:05:49 but... but it's the truth, all right?
1227 01:05:52 And... and you know what?
1228 01:05:54 Fuck it.
1229 01:05:55 Right now, the only thingwe should be giving a shit about
1230 01:05:58 is like having fun before we all gooff to college and forget...
1231 01:06:02 that this is actuallya really great time in our lives.
1232 01:06:08 So, sack up, Truelove,
1233 01:06:09 and meet us out in the car in three.
1234 01:06:13 He has a point.
1235 01:06:14 Right, Josh?
1236 01:06:17 Poor little elephant.
1237 01:06:22 Fuck this noise.
1238 01:06:23 We've wasted enough timeon that granny turd.
1239 01:06:32 I'm in.
1240 01:06:33 Get in the car before I kick your dick in.
1241 01:06:38 Now that I'm thinking about it,Claire has been holding me back.
1242 01:06:41 I can't be with one girl for the restof my senior year.
1243 01:06:44 I should be playing the fieldwith the ladies, plural.
1244 01:06:47 Know what I'm talking about?Get some notches on the bedpost.
1245 01:06:49 Bust some nut.
1246 01:06:50 - Yeah, let out some population paste.- Yeah.
1247 01:06:53 Have a cream dream, baby.
1248 01:06:55 Yeah, get some bitches pregnant.
1249 01:06:58 - Sorry, I was trying something out.- It's okay.
1250 01:07:00 Oh, my God,it's the whole nutsack brigade.
1251 01:07:04 Alex, how wasyour little hotel fuck festival?
1252 01:07:07 - It could not have gone better.- Actually, Claire and I broke up.
1253 01:07:10 And now, I'm looking for sluts.
1254 01:07:11 You know of any?
1255 01:07:12 Do I look like your regional pimp?
1256 01:07:14 More like an employee.
1257 01:07:16 Delbert, I'm choking on the vomitof your hilarity.
1258 01:07:18 - Oh, they have clinics for that, actually.- Will you guys get a room?
1259 01:07:22 Now I'm choking on vomit.
1260 01:07:34 Let's party!
1261 01:07:36 Oh, yeah!
1262 01:07:38 Come, on baby, come on.
1263 01:07:57 Yeah!
1264 01:08:31 You're sexy.
1265 01:08:32 You are sexy.
1266 01:08:34 You're a sexy little sex kitten.
1267 01:08:37 What are you, like, 12?
1268 01:08:39 No, I am of the legal sex agein the state.
1269 01:08:43 I looked it up.
1270 01:08:45 Oh, yeah?
1271 01:08:46 Yeah.
1272 01:08:49 You want to see what's upstairs?
1273 01:08:51 Fuck yeah.
1274 01:09:05 Frankly, I don't even know whywe bother with high school boys.
1275 01:09:08 I, personally, haven't touched onesince freshman year.
1276 01:09:11 I mean, sure, Alex is maybe smarterthan the average boy,
1277 01:09:16 but he's still just as useless.
1278 01:09:18 I don't get it.
1279 01:09:19 I mean, Alex has always beenweird and shy about sex,
1280 01:09:22 but I never got any sensethat he was interested in anyone else.
1281 01:09:27 Well, something's definitely going on.
1282 01:09:30 We could stalk him.
1283 01:09:37 No question, dolphin. I'd fuck a dolphin.
1284 01:09:40 I'd fuck a unicorn.
1285 01:09:41 No way, it can't be imaginary.
1286 01:09:43 - Why not?- Why not?
1287 01:09:44 Because then I'd fuck Arwenfrom Lord of the Rings.
1288 01:09:47 Dude, Arwen's an elf, not an animal.
1289 01:09:48 Yeah, you fucking idiot.
1290 01:09:51 I thought you guyswere gonna try to meet girls.
1291 01:09:55 - We are.- It's fine, we are.
1292 01:09:57 Yeah, we're just pumping each other up.
1293 01:09:59 You're killing it.
1294 01:10:01 We met so many girls before this.
1295 01:10:03 There were a bunch of them here...
1296 01:10:05 Holy shit.
1297 01:10:10 Miss Sophie Hicks.
1298 01:10:13 I'd fuck a cute littlefucking furry panda bear.
1299 01:10:21 I can't wait either.
1300 01:10:23 I feel likewe really haven't talked in ages.
1301 01:10:26 See you soon, Delbert.
1302 01:10:30 They're at a frat party on Mickley Avenue.
1303 01:10:33 Done.
1304 01:10:40 You're... you're sexy.
1305 01:10:42 I like touching your face.
1306 01:10:44 What?
1307 01:10:45 Nothing.
1308 01:10:46 Can you take your shirt off, please?
1309 01:10:48 Okay.
1310 01:10:49 Whoa! Look at those honkers.
1311 01:10:52 - Honkers?- Yeah.
1312 01:10:53 Or what, do you prefer "hooters"or just good old-fashioned "tits"?
1313 01:10:57 You're funny.
1314 01:10:58 You are chewing gum.
1315 01:11:00 Yeah. You want some?
1316 01:11:01 I'm okay.
1317 01:11:03 Okay!
1318 01:11:05 It's lost it's flavor a little bit,but that's okay.
1319 01:11:07 I want you to fuck me.
1320 01:11:10 Can do.
1321 01:11:11 Oh, yeah? Do you have a condom?
1322 01:11:12 Yeah, I do. Yeah, in my pants.
1323 01:11:14 - Get it.- Okay, yeah. Sure.
1324 01:11:21 Don't overthink this.Would Dell overthink this?
1325 01:11:25 No, Dell would say...
1326 01:11:27 Slurp my nutsack.
1327 01:11:29 Shut up, Dell.
1328 01:11:30 - Huh?- Nothing. Found it.
1329 01:11:33 She'd better be hot
1330 01:11:34 She'd better bethe Mother of fucking Dragons.
1331 01:11:36 Claire, this is Alex we're talking about.
1332 01:11:38 He and Dell are probably standingby themselves in a corner,
1333 01:11:41 talking about which Lord of the Ringscharacter they'd want to have sex with.
1334 01:11:46 So, I'm all, "Fine, bitch,go and fuck any dude here.
1335 01:11:50 I don't give a shit."
1336 01:11:52 And she's all, "Fuck you, I'm going home."
1337 01:11:54 And I'm all, "Adios, slut."
1338 01:11:58 You know what, bro?
1339 01:12:00 I really do love her.
1340 01:12:02 Hey, Dell.
1341 01:12:04 Sophie.
1342 01:12:05 Wow, you made it.
1343 01:12:07 Wow.
1344 01:12:08 Hi.
1345 01:12:09 Oh, Claire Bear. Hey.
1346 01:12:11 Sophie told methis is where the action is tonight.
1347 01:12:15 Funny, did she?
1348 01:12:18 Sophie did not mention you'd be coming.
1349 01:12:20 Where's Alex?
1350 01:12:22 Man, that's a...that's a really good question.
1351 01:12:25 I don't really...
1352 01:12:26 No, Claire, I've got to tell you,I think he's really drunk...
1353 01:12:31 I should go help her look.
1354 01:12:33 See you, Dell.
1355 01:12:35 Yeah.
1356 01:12:36 Right. See you.
1357 01:12:39 - Oh, fuck me, baby.- I know.
1358 01:12:42 - Oh, fuck me hard.- I know, I'm trying.
1359 01:12:44 - Fuck me!- Okay, here I go.
1360 01:12:46 Hang on a sec.
1361 01:12:49 Oh, come on, mister class president.
1362 01:12:51 Just a sec. I'm trying.
1363 01:12:55 - Maybe you're getting shy?- No.
1364 01:12:57 - It's okay.- No, it's not okay!
1365 01:12:59 You are a hot, sexy chick,
1366 01:13:01 and I'm gonna ejaculate my erect penisinside your wet vagina if it kills me.
1367 01:13:05 - Excuse me?- Okay, here we go.
1368 01:13:06 Come on, little penis.Get in there.
1369 01:13:08 - Hey!- Come on, little guy.
1370 01:13:10 Jesus, get off me, you creepy weirdo!
1371 01:13:16 Alex?
1372 01:13:17 Claire.
1373 01:13:18 Ever heard of knocking, bitch?
1374 01:13:21 Shut the door, this isn't a fucking show.
1375 01:13:26 Claire, wait!
1376 01:13:29 Sierra?
1377 01:13:31 - Dakota?- You guys know each other?
1378 01:13:33 You said you were going home.
1379 01:13:35 Yeah, well, I decided to takea little detour, fuck stick.
1380 01:13:37 Well, obviously you guys havesome problems to work out. So...
1381 01:13:40 - What'd you do to my girl, piece of shit?- Not much.
1382 01:13:42 Yeah, she's right,I could barely get it up, so no big deal.
1383 01:13:46 Wait, I'm naked!
1384 01:13:51 Hey, guys.
1385 01:13:52 - Get out of my way.- Dakota, stop!
1386 01:13:57 Hey, douchebag.
1387 01:14:00 You want him,you've got to get through me first.
1388 01:14:13 I'm sorry, Dell. Thank you so much.
1389 01:14:23 You see them jump, babe?
1390 01:14:24 I'm the shit.
1391 01:14:25 You're so hot, babe.
1392 01:14:27 No, babe, you're hot as fuck.
1393 01:14:47 A Guyana banana leaf toad?
1394 01:14:50 What?
1395 01:14:52 Claire!
1396 01:14:59 Claire!
1397 01:15:03 Claire!
1398 01:15:13 Dell?
1399 01:15:17 What happened?
1400 01:15:19 What do you care?
1401 01:15:22 - Have you seen Claire?- No.
1402 01:15:24 And if I did see Claire,why would I tell you?
1403 01:15:28 Dell.
1404 01:15:29 You're an evil person, Sophie Hicks.
1405 01:15:31 Evil, evil, evil.
1406 01:15:33 - Oh, I'm evil?- Yes.
1407 01:15:35 Yes.
1408 01:15:36 Because I helped my best friendfind her bastard boyfriend?
1409 01:15:40 No. No, you're evilbecause you tricked me.
1410 01:15:44 You knowthat I've liked you since... forever.
1411 01:15:49 And I know that I'm just a joke to you,okay? I'm not an idiot.
1412 01:15:52 Girls like you have this ultimate powerover guys like me.
1413 01:15:57 But it doesn't give you the rightto fuck with my feelings.
1414 01:16:02 It's not cool, Sophie.
1415 01:16:11 - You're right.- It's not cool.
1416 01:16:16 - I'm sorry, Dell.- Not cool.
1417 01:16:25 Hey, uh...
1418 01:16:28 I want to show you something.
1419 01:16:39 Oh, you... you kept those.
1420 01:16:43 Of course I did.
1421 01:16:45 I mean, I think they'rethe most adorable thing I've ever seen.
1422 01:16:51 I could send you updated versions.
1423 01:16:54 Yeah...
1424 01:16:55 - Let's take it one step at a time.- Okay.
1425 01:16:58 - Sound good?- Sounds good.
1426 01:17:00 Yeah.
1427 01:17:10 Claire!
1428 01:17:17 That's Josh's frog.
1429 01:17:21 That's Josh's frog.
1430 01:17:25 Come here. Come here.
1431 01:17:40 No, no, no, no...
1432 01:17:42 Don't jump.
1433 01:17:46 No!
1434 01:17:47 Oh God.
1435 01:18:56 Dude. Oh, my God.
1436 01:18:58 - Alex has a boner.- Oh, my gosh.
1437 01:19:01 Why do you have a boner, Alex?
1438 01:19:03 I, I... No, I don't.
1439 01:19:05 Are you a fag?
1440 01:19:07 No, I'm not...
1441 01:19:08 Alex has a boner. He's a fag.
1442 01:19:10 Oh, my gosh, yeah.
1443 01:19:13 Where you going, Alex?
1444 01:19:15 Are you gonna cry?
1445 01:19:19 Just let me go!
1446 01:19:21 Oh, he's gonna cry, he's gonna cry.
1447 01:20:27 Alex?
1448 01:20:28 Jesus, what happened to you?
1449 01:20:31 Oh, you know.
1450 01:20:33 Just went for a little swim.
1451 01:20:35 Are you okay?
1452 01:20:38 Yeah.
1453 01:20:39 Yeah.
1454 01:20:42 Claire...
1455 01:20:46 I'm gay.
1456 01:20:50 What?
1457 01:20:52 I'm gay.
1458 01:20:54 You called it.
1459 01:20:56 I'm gay.
1460 01:21:03 I'm sorry.
1461 01:21:07 I'm really sorry.
1462 01:21:47 Claire.
1463 01:21:50 Are you okay?
1464 01:22:09 Hey, honey.
1465 01:22:11 Did you have fun?
1466 01:22:15 Sweetie?
1467 01:22:19 Oh.
1468 01:22:28 I got you.
1469 01:22:32 Let it out.
1470 01:22:33 Oh.
1471 01:23:23 So...
1472 01:23:29 The person you like...
1473 01:23:34 It's a boy?
1474 01:23:41 That kid Elliot?
1475 01:23:48 And, um...
1476 01:23:50 Did you just...
1477 01:23:52 figure all this out?
1478 01:23:55 I guess it's always been there. I just...
1479 01:23:59 had to be honest with myself.
1480 01:24:02 I just couldn't ignore it anymore.
1481 01:24:04 Maybe you're just going through a phase.
1482 01:24:06 No, I thought of that.
1483 01:24:08 But, you know,I thought I'd grow out of it, and...
1484 01:24:13 thought I'd get over it.
1485 01:24:18 You know...
1486 01:24:20 I thought I'd meet the right girl.
1487 01:24:25 But, uh...
1488 01:24:34 You know, I met the right girl.
1489 01:24:48 Alex, don't people knowwho they're attracted to?
1490 01:24:52 I mean...
1491 01:24:53 isn't it just obvious?
1492 01:24:56 It's different when...
1493 01:24:57 When you're gay?
1494 01:24:59 No, it isn't.
1495 01:25:02 My cousin just came out and she's 12.
1496 01:25:05 What are you so scared of?
1497 01:25:10 Losing you.
1498 01:25:25 I love you.
1499 01:25:28 I'm sorry I was such a shitty boyfriend.
1500 01:25:31 No.
1501 01:25:34 No, you're the...
1502 01:25:35 best gay boyfriend a girl could have.
1503 01:25:42 That's funny.
1504 01:25:45 You still want to go to prom with me?
1505 01:26:04 ♪ Science and reason will tell us so ♪
1506 01:26:14 ♪ The blood in our veinsAre just chemicals ♪
1507 01:26:22 ♪ Better believeI keep my demons to myself ♪
1508 01:26:27 ♪ Better believe it's getting harder ♪
1509 01:26:29 Wow, Alex, not bad for a gay guy.
1510 01:26:32 You look beautiful.
1511 01:26:33 I do, don't I?
1512 01:26:36 All right, let's fuck this shit up.
1513 01:26:43 Abbie Chevalier already pukedin the picture line.
1514 01:26:46 Awesome.
1515 01:26:48 - I licked the frog.- He licked the frog.
1516 01:26:50 Dude, tonight?
1517 01:26:51 Yeah, only a little. I mean, just the tip.
1518 01:26:53 It still counts.
1519 01:26:54 - I will be right back.- Where you going? Where you going?
1520 01:26:57 Secret mission.
1521 01:26:59 I don't get chicks, man.
1522 01:27:01 Secret mission? What the fuck?
1523 01:27:03 Don't pretend like you don't know, Sophie.
1524 01:27:06 I know you know.
1525 01:27:08 I'll never tell, Delgado.
1526 01:27:10 Never.
1527 01:27:11 Alex.
1528 01:27:13 Hey.
1529 01:27:22 Hey, stranger.
1530 01:27:23 - Hey.- I invited him.
1531 01:27:25 I didn't think you'd mind.
1532 01:27:27 No, no, I don't, but...
1533 01:27:31 Look, guys, I knew you'd never do thisyourselves, so here I am...
1534 01:27:36 just passing the baton.
1535 01:27:39 Claire.
1536 01:27:40 I came here with you. You're my date.
1537 01:27:43 I know, but Alex,you've got to start sooner or later.
1538 01:27:48 And...
1539 01:27:51 I think maybe this is a good for me too.
1540 01:28:02 Do you want to dance or something?
1541 01:28:04 No, go dance with your fella.
1542 01:28:06 But save one for me later?
1543 01:28:09 Yeah, yeah.
1544 01:28:12 Okay.
1545 01:28:21 It's been a while.
1546 01:28:22 - Yeah.- Yeah.
1547 01:28:24 I had to figure some stuff out.
1548 01:28:28 And?
1549 01:28:30 And...
1550 01:28:33 Uh...
1551 01:28:41 You okay?
1552 01:28:42 Um...
1553 01:28:45 I'm sorry, I have to go to the bathroom.
1554 01:28:47 ♪ How long till we learn ♪
1555 01:28:49 ♪ That dancing is dangerous? ♪
1556 01:28:52 ♪ How long till we learn... ♪
1557 01:28:59 Shit.
1558 01:29:00 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...
1559 01:29:13 - Should I not have come?- No, it's not that.
1560 01:29:15 Then what is it?
1561 01:29:17 It's just...
1562 01:29:18 Everyone...
1563 01:29:20 Everyone's watching.
1564 01:29:22 Oh.
1565 01:29:24 - Okay, you know what? I'm gonna go.- No.
1566 01:29:35 Where's Alex?
1567 01:29:37 I don't know. I'm leaving.
1568 01:29:41 What? Why?
1569 01:29:43 ♪ And when you're in doubt ♪
1570 01:29:48 ♪ And when you're in danger ♪
1571 01:29:53 ♪ Take a look all around ♪
1572 01:29:58 ♪ And I'll be there ♪
1573 01:30:03 Look, Alex, I really don't...
1574 01:30:05 ♪ I'm sorry but I'm just thinkingOf the right words to say ♪
1575 01:30:08 ♪ I promise ♪
1576 01:30:09 ♪ I know they don't sound the wayI planned them to be ♪
1577 01:30:13 ♪ I promise ♪
1578 01:30:15 ♪ But if you wait around the worldI'll make you fall for me ♪
1579 01:30:18 - ♪ I promise ♪- ♪ I promise ♪
1580 01:30:22 ♪ I promise you I will ♪
1581 01:30:44 ♪ When your day is through ♪
1582 01:30:49 ♪ And so is your temper ♪
1583 01:30:54 ♪ You know what to do ♪
1584 01:30:58 ♪ I'm gonna always be there ♪
1585 01:31:04 ♪ Sometimes if I shout ♪
1586 01:31:09 ♪ It's not what's intended ♪
1587 01:31:14 ♪ These words just come out ♪
1588 01:31:19 ♪ With no regret to bear ♪
1589 01:31:25 ♪ I'm sorry but I'm just thinkingOf the right words to say ♪
1590 01:31:38 Hey, everyone.
1591 01:31:39 Uh, welcome to a very special episodeof Savage Kingdom High.
1592 01:31:43 I'm Alex,
1593 01:31:44 and with me, as always, of course,is my partner in crime
1594 01:31:48 and very best friend in the whole world.
1595 01:31:51 Hello, interwebs.
1596 01:31:53 And we are here to spin you a tale
1597 01:31:56 of intrigue, drama...
1598 01:31:58 and comedy.
1599 01:31:59 Um, Claire, and I used to date.
1600 01:32:02 Uh, today I'm gonna be sharingmy coming out experience.
1601 01:32:05 I wasn't out in high school at all.
1602 01:32:07 Uh, I dated a bunch of girls, very...
1603 01:32:10 Uh, it all starts outwhen I was about 13, 14, and...
1604 01:32:15 I'm gay!
1605 01:32:17 It feels so good to say that.
1606 01:32:19 I think I was in denialfor most of my adolescence...
1607 01:32:22 It's not that I want to be,it's that I am.
1608 01:32:25 I... I've been dating a guy.
1609 01:32:49 This is Alex Truelove...
1610 01:32:51 signing off.
