高材生 Booksmart(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:00:07 Good morning, winner.
2 00:00:09 Take a deep breath.
3 00:00:13 Good. You're ready to dominate this day.
4 00:00:18 You've worked harder than everyone,
5 00:00:20 and that is why you're a champion.
6 00:00:24 You understandthat greatness takes sacrifice.
7 00:00:28 Visualize what you still want to achieve.
8 00:00:32 Stand atop the mountain of your success
9 00:00:34 and look down at everyonewho's ever doubted you.
10 00:00:40 Fuck those losers.
11 00:00:42 Fuck them in their stupid fucking faces.
12 00:00:53 Hey!
13 00:00:56 Oh, oh!
14 00:00:57 Oh, shit.
15 00:01:00 Hold the phone.I'm coming.
16 00:01:03 Oh, shit.
17 00:01:06 Woo!
18 00:01:08 ♪ We know it, keep goin' ♪
19 00:01:09 ♪ I came straight from the stage... ♪
20 00:01:11 - What?- What?
21 00:01:13 Excuse me.
22 00:01:15 - Oh, oh, oh! Hey!- What? What? What?
23 00:01:18 Missed ya.
24 00:01:19 I missed you.
25 00:01:21 - I missed you so much.- Been one night.
26 00:01:25 - Are we gonna go to school, or...- No.
27 00:01:28 I don't think we are.
28 00:01:29 No, we're just gonna stay here.
29 00:01:32 ♪ I don't wanna stress you out ♪
30 00:01:33 ♪ I just wanna tell you the truth ♪
31 00:01:36 ♪ Motherfuckers try to tear us apart ♪
32 00:01:38 ♪ But we're electric linked ♪
33 00:01:41 ♪ My revolution... ♪
34 00:01:43 - Move!- Jeez!
35 00:01:51 - Yeah! Woo!- Are you...
36 00:01:54 Swear to god.
37 00:01:55 - Whoo!- Are you kidding me, Samantha?
38 00:01:58 You couldn't have just gone around?
39 00:01:59 Where was this energy
40 00:02:00 at my inauguration assembly, folks?
41 00:02:03 - True.- I hope
42 00:02:04 I never have to see any of you
43 00:02:06 ever again, okay.
44 00:02:07 That's it. Signin' off.
45 00:02:09 Go, Crocketts!
46 00:02:11 Boom.
47 00:02:13 Principal Brown?
48 00:02:16 Hi, Molly, Amy.What's shakin'?
49 00:02:18 I want to make the transitionof next year's student government
50 00:02:20 as seamless as possible,so that when I'm up in New Haven...
51 00:02:22 Yale. You can just say Yale, please.
52 00:02:25 Well, our class's official policy is
53 00:02:27 to not discuss where anyoneis attending next year.
54 00:02:29 We don't want them to feel insecure.
55 00:02:31 Very thoughtful.
56 00:02:32 Anyway, I need to go overthe end-of-the-year
57 00:02:34 budget numbers we have.
58 00:02:35 Oh, gosh.
59 00:02:38 Really? Like, now?
60 00:02:40 What... I mean, why don't youdo it with Nick,
61 00:02:42 you know? Please?
62 00:02:43 I mean, he's you know,he's the vice president.
63 00:02:45 Nick?
64 00:02:48 We both know that Nick only ran for VP
65 00:02:50 because they plan the dances.
66 00:02:51 That position is...
67 00:02:53 It's basically a popularity contest.He's useless.
68 00:02:55 Ladies, it's the last day.You know?
69 00:02:58 We did it. Huh? We got youthrough high school.
70 00:03:01 Can't we just graduate,
71 00:03:02 head off to college,
72 00:03:03 you know, celebrate thiswonderful achievement?
73 00:03:06 Let's focus on getting throughthe rest of the day without...
74 00:03:07 I'm sorry. Are youshutting the door on us?
75 00:03:09 Because that's not subtle.We will persist!
76 00:03:12 Nick's like the great equalizer.
77 00:03:15 Delegates from every group of girls
78 00:03:17 are casting their ballots for his penis.
79 00:03:19 Oh, and Triple A takes the lead.
80 00:03:22 Don't call her that.
81 00:03:23 Everybody calls her that.
82 00:03:25 She gave roadside assistance
83 00:03:26 to three senior guys last year.
84 00:03:27 You hear themgetting degrading Nicknames?
85 00:03:29 They call Sam Ross "Dick Splinter."
86 00:03:31 That's not derogatory.It's a factual description.
87 00:03:34 7:20.
88 00:03:36 Under eight minutes?You're joking!
89 00:03:38 - Oh, my god. 9:43.- What?
90 00:03:40 What am I gonna dowithout you girls next year?
91 00:03:42 Nobody around hereeven attempts the Thursday.
92 00:03:44 Well, Amy and I are gonna skype
93 00:03:46 the puzzle every single week,
94 00:03:47 - so we will send you our Sunday Times.- Yep.
95 00:03:49 You know what?Why don't I just give you two my number?
96 00:03:51 That way, you guys can call or text me
97 00:03:53 if you need anything.
98 00:03:54 - Yeah.- Yeah.
99 00:03:55 That would just make our lives.
100 00:03:56 - Okay.- Definitely.
101 00:03:58 - I'll give you mine after.- Oh, no, no,
102 00:03:59 - I'll just share the contact.- I can just...
103 00:04:00 - I'm gonna share the contact.- Wait, wait, wait.
104 00:04:02 Miss Fine, I thought there wereno cell phones allowed in class.
105 00:04:04 Or are there exceptions for ass-kissers?
106 00:04:06 Hey! A dollar in the swear jar.
107 00:04:08 I'm so sorry. These shorts,they don't have pockets.
108 00:04:11 - Okay, excuse me.- Whoa, Triple A!
109 00:04:13 Excuse me. Jesus Christ!
110 00:04:14 Oh, my god.
111 00:04:15 No spatial awarenessat this school.
112 00:04:18 - Hey, Amy.- It's her.
113 00:04:19 Yeah?
114 00:04:20 Did you just scoreyour teacher's phone number?
115 00:04:23 Yeah.
116 00:04:24 Nice.
117 00:04:28 Hey, Miss Fine? You shouldcome party with us tonight.
118 00:04:31 Did you just ask Miss Fine
119 00:04:33 if she wants to party with you?
120 00:04:35 You think she wants to watchyou and your friends
121 00:04:36 - get drunk and break things?- Yeah, sorry, hold on.
122 00:04:38 I was having the conversation with her.
123 00:04:39 - You were not part of this, so...- Sit down, Theo.
124 00:04:41 Yo, yo, what up, Miss Fine?
125 00:04:44 Just wanted to drop off a last-day presentfor my favorite teach.
126 00:04:46 Jared, you are not my student.
127 00:04:48 I've heard great things.And hey, everybody else
128 00:04:50 got their graduation gifts.Right?
129 00:04:53 Come on. Jare-Bear comin'at you from all angles, right?
130 00:04:56 Nobody asked for that.
131 00:04:57 Big me, littler me,
132 00:04:59 little baby Jared at the bottom.
133 00:05:00 Baby Jared says,"Happy graduation, everybody."
134 00:05:02 Yeah, no one's gonna wear a shirt
135 00:05:04 with your face on it, Jared.
136 00:05:06 Like, not even ironically.
137 00:05:07 Okay, well, agree to disagree.
138 00:05:10 Jared, just go.
139 00:05:11 I'm out of here.Wasn't even here.
140 00:05:12 See you, Molly.
141 00:05:13 - Bye, Molly.- I'll see ya.
142 00:05:16 - Bye, Molly.- Why does he...
143 00:05:17 Why does he always do that?
144 00:05:18 Fair townspeople!
145 00:05:19 Fa-fair townspeople!
146 00:05:22 Fair townspeople,I swear to god!
147 00:05:24 Mark thy calendars
148 00:05:26 and make thy plans to attend
149 00:05:28 the drama department's summer program,
150 00:05:30 "Shakespeare in the Parking Lot."
151 00:05:34 We will be performing the bard's comedies
152 00:05:36 as modern tragedies
153 00:05:38 outside Whole Foods across town.
154 00:05:40 It was actually funny.It's, it's what we did
155 00:05:42 in my summer program
156 00:05:43 last year in Barcelona.
157 00:05:45 When I lived in Barcelona.
158 00:05:48 I will be directing, and Alan...
159 00:05:51 may be starring, pending auditions.
160 00:05:54 I don't audition.
161 00:05:57 I'm offer-only.
162 00:05:59 This looks fun, but I'm not gonna,
163 00:06:01 I'm not gonna be here.
164 00:06:02 Yeah, Amy's spendingthe summer in Botswana
165 00:06:04 helping women make their own tampons.
166 00:06:06 That's... gross.
167 00:06:08 Well, blood attracts lions.I'm saving lives.
168 00:06:11 Oh, okay.Well, that's actually noble.
169 00:06:12 I, too, have a fear of big cats.
170 00:06:14 And I can't, becauseI'm working all summer,
171 00:06:17 and also I don't want to.
172 00:06:18 You are a philistine.
173 00:06:19 Why would you do theaterwhen you could do debate?
174 00:06:21 Because some of usenjoy working with others.
175 00:06:24 And some of us know how to win.
176 00:06:25 Nobody's winning in that outfit.
177 00:06:27 Sit down, y'all.We got work to do.
178 00:06:29 So, Molly...
179 00:06:30 - Mm?- Why don't you start us off?
180 00:06:32 - Thank you, Miss Fine.- Kill it.
181 00:06:33 All right, well, as you might recall
182 00:06:35 from my analysis yesterday,
183 00:06:37 - we were talking about...- It's our last day.
184 00:06:38 ...the ideaof submitting to authority.
185 00:06:39 Let us live! Oh, my god!
186 00:06:41 You got to open your mouth
187 00:06:42 a little here more, boy.
188 00:06:45 Okay, I got you, I got you,
189 00:06:45 - I got you, I got you.- Okay, chips!
190 00:06:47 I got you. You ready?
191 00:06:48 Dude, how am I supposed to get that?
192 00:06:50 - Okay, that was my bad.- Nick?
193 00:06:51 You're wild.Wait, wait, wait.
194 00:06:52 - Nick.- Just one second.
195 00:06:53 Nick, there's somestudent government stuff
196 00:06:55 - we have to go over.- Come on, man!
197 00:06:56 - Aim for my mouth!- We have to go over
198 00:06:57 the end-of-the-year budget,so if you could just...
199 00:06:59 Yeah, just...Uh, we're playing this game
200 00:07:01 where I gotta catch it in my mouth.It's complicated.
201 00:07:03 I'll holler at you later, I guess.
202 00:07:04 - I'm sure it's complicated.- Oh.
203 00:07:07 I cannot believe I lasted an entire year
204 00:07:09 with Nick as my vice president.
205 00:07:11 He's allergic to work.
206 00:07:12 All he wants to dois goof off.
207 00:07:14 It's infuriating.
208 00:07:22 ♪ Oh baby baby baby babe ♪
209 00:07:25 ♪ How long am I supposed to wait? ♪
210 00:07:28 Dude, go talk to Ryan.
211 00:07:30 What? No.
212 00:07:32 Cool, cool, 'cause I'm,I'm gonna go talk to Ryan.
213 00:07:34 - No. no!- 'Cause I have so much to say...
214 00:07:36 No.
215 00:07:41 Fine. I'm going. Just gonna...
216 00:07:44 There she goes.
217 00:07:49 ♪ Oh baby baby baby please ♪
218 00:07:53 ♪ My heart says to my ears ♪
219 00:07:56 ♪ Oh baby baby do you ♪
220 00:07:58 Oh, oh, sorry, sorry...
221 00:07:59 Dude.- Amy.
222 00:08:01 - It's all good. Yeah.- Here you go. here.
223 00:08:03 Sharp elbows.
224 00:08:04 Not as sharp as your chin.
225 00:08:06 What?
226 00:08:07 Um, so, isn't it crazythat it's the last day?
227 00:08:10 I know, dude.I can barely believe it.
228 00:08:12 Are you gonna come to Nick's tonight?
229 00:08:14 His aunt went on a cruise shipthat broke down,
230 00:08:16 so Nick's gonna throwa party at her house.
231 00:08:18 That's, that's awesome.
232 00:08:19 It's, it's all right.
233 00:08:21 They're you know, they're stuck
234 00:08:22 on a boat, shitting in buckets.
235 00:08:24 Oh, well, that's not really what I meant.
236 00:08:25 Oh, Jesus.
237 00:08:27 - Come on, Tanner.- All right, well...
238 00:08:29 All right. I'll see you later.
239 00:08:31 I'll just, um...
240 00:08:33 Fuck, fuck, fuck.
241 00:08:34 What are you doing?Go back.
242 00:08:36 No, that was bad.That was bad.
243 00:08:37 I'm good, I don't even knowif she's into girls,
244 00:08:38 so I'm good. That was...
245 00:08:39 She wore a polo shirt to prom.
246 00:08:41 Well, that's just her gender performance.
247 00:08:44 It's different fromher sexual orientation.
248 00:08:45 I'm sorry, but I don't get it.
249 00:08:47 Well, gender is a construct of...
250 00:08:48 No, thank you,
251 00:08:49 that much I understand.It just...
252 00:08:51 It's a little bit shocking
253 00:08:53 that, that you're into Ryan.
254 00:08:54 First crush?
255 00:08:56 The little white cat from The Aristocats.
256 00:08:57 You go from that to Avril Lavigne.
257 00:08:59 It's just is not,it's not what I anticipated.
258 00:09:01 I just like that she's...
259 00:09:04 always in a good mood,
260 00:09:05 and she's gota really cute smile.
261 00:09:07 She just seems like she'd bea really fun person
262 00:09:10 to have sleepovers and lie around with.
263 00:09:12 Excuse me? Pardon me?
264 00:09:13 I'm a fun person to have sleepoversand lie around with.
265 00:09:15 It's literally all we do.
266 00:09:17 Well, with her, there'd be more...
267 00:09:20 vagina involved.
268 00:09:22 That's fair.
269 00:09:23 She said Nick's having a party tonight.
270 00:09:25 Of course he would.He's so fucking stupid.
271 00:09:28 Somebody always gets arrestedthe night before graduation.
272 00:09:32 Amy, do you knowhow many girls are gonna be
273 00:09:35 up your vagina at Columbia next year?
274 00:09:37 Are you aware of it?'Cause I'm aware of it.
275 00:09:39 Every time I come to visit you,
276 00:09:41 you're just gonna be scissoringa different girl.
277 00:09:43 Dude, scissoring is not a thing.
278 00:09:45 - Don't knock it until you've tried it.- It's not a thing.
279 00:09:47 Don't knock ituntil you've tried it.
280 00:09:48 I'm not knocking it, but it's just...
281 00:09:49 How 'bout you don't knock ituntil you've tried it?
282 00:09:51 ♪ Lala lala lala la ♪
283 00:09:53 ♪ Not the cemetery or the penitentiary ♪
284 00:09:55 ♪ Damn my contemporaries ♪
285 00:09:56 ♪ I'm too legendary, it's so... ♪
286 00:09:58 Here comes the one percent.
287 00:10:00 ♪ Money, I got money ♪
288 00:10:02 ♪ I got money ♪
289 00:10:04 ♪ Money, I got money ♪
290 00:10:09 That car belongs in a museum.
291 00:10:10 What the fuck, Jared?I said door to door.
292 00:10:13 Museum of death, 'causeits smog is killing us all.
293 00:10:17 - Fuck!- You all right?
294 00:10:19 They spend every minute together.It's so weird.
295 00:10:22 We spend every minute together.
296 00:10:24 We are equals.Gigi just keeps Jared around
297 00:10:26 for when she needs a liver.
298 00:10:27 - No, please don't get on my car.- I'm fucking spent, Jared!
299 00:10:29 - At least take the heels off.- I'm fucking spent.
300 00:10:31 - Gege, I just got it back...- Okay.
301 00:10:32 - ...from the shop.- Shh! I'm napping.
302 00:10:34 Do you think it's truethat his dad got him
303 00:10:36 a sex worker for his fourteenth birthday?
304 00:10:38 It's too weird of a story to be made up.
305 00:10:40 There's so many specifics.
306 00:10:42 He sprained his ankle.She had a hearing aid.
307 00:10:44 What up, chicas?
308 00:10:46 It's intolerable.
309 00:10:47 You guys hungry?
310 00:10:48 I, I got some soup dumps.
311 00:10:50 Keep it down out there!
312 00:10:52 Prob... They're probablya little soggy now,
313 00:10:54 - but they're great cold.- It's all right.
314 00:10:55 Okay, I'm going to pee
315 00:10:56 in your weird-ass bathroom.Watch my stuff.
316 00:10:58 Until all of us can pee without genitals,
317 00:11:00 none of us can.
318 00:11:01 These motherfuckers.
319 00:11:04 Your ugly what?
320 00:11:06 How did you graduate sixth grade?
321 00:11:07 It's shocking to me.
322 00:11:09 Okay. So, I wouldmarry the sex doll.
323 00:11:13 - Right.- Okay.
324 00:11:14 Fuck the soccer ball.
325 00:11:15 - Yep.- And then kill Molly.
326 00:11:17 Dude! No.
327 00:11:19 There's no other way, dude.Like, I can't fuck her
328 00:11:21 you know, 'cause when I'm scared,
329 00:11:22 my dick can't get hard.
330 00:11:24 And then like, I can't marry her,
331 00:11:25 'cause, well, I don't believe
332 00:11:27 - in the institution.- Uh-huh.
333 00:11:28 So, I have to kill Molly.
334 00:11:30 And I know it'll haunt me.I'm a peaceful person.
335 00:11:32 That's very true.
336 00:11:34 Wait, are you guys talkingabout Molly Davidson?
337 00:11:36 - Yeah.- Yeah.
338 00:11:37 That girl is so weird.
339 00:11:39 She always acts like she's like 40.
340 00:11:40 I wish she was fucking 40, man.
341 00:11:42 Women in their 40s know themselves.
342 00:11:43 Oh, she's, she's cute.
343 00:11:45 You know, yeah, I'll give her that,
344 00:11:47 but she'd probably make you quiz
345 00:11:48 on her SAT analogies while you fuck her.
346 00:11:50 Dude, no. Her vagina'sprobably stuffed with diplomas.
347 00:11:52 How much you wanna bet?
348 00:11:53 That shit' s likea filing cabinet down there.
349 00:11:55 Well, I got no problemwith a filing cabinet.
350 00:11:58 I would make passionate sexto Molly Davidson.
351 00:12:01 - Really?- Yeah.
352 00:12:02 I'd just put a bag over her personality.
353 00:12:04 Yeah.
354 00:12:06 Molly's like a butterface for personality.
355 00:12:09 A butter-personality.
356 00:12:11 Yeah! That's it.
357 00:12:13 So bad.
358 00:12:14 That's cool, man, yeah.
359 00:12:16 What?
360 00:12:18 Shit.
361 00:12:23 Oh.
362 00:12:24 Oh, please do not stop on my account.
363 00:12:27 Do you know what?My vag is stuffed with diplomas.
364 00:12:31 Soon, it's gonna be stuffedwith job offers
365 00:12:34 and glowing profiles
366 00:12:35 and commendations from the governor.
367 00:12:38 So, while you guys wereall studying AP handjobs,
368 00:12:42 I was kicking ass and busting curves,
369 00:12:44 and I'm gonna continue to do that
370 00:12:45 at Yale next year, so...
371 00:12:48 I like my choices,
372 00:12:49 and wherever you three are next year,I hope you do, too.
373 00:12:53 I'm going to Yale, too.
374 00:12:57 What?
375 00:12:58 I'm incredible at handjobs,
376 00:13:00 but I also got a 1560 on the SATs.
377 00:13:04 No, you didn't.
378 00:13:05 I got in early.
379 00:13:06 - To Yale?- Uh-huh.
380 00:13:08 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.- Mm-hmm.
381 00:13:10 Oh, and, Tanner,where are you going to school?
382 00:13:13 Uh, I'm, I'm playing soccer at Stanford.
383 00:13:15 Stanford University?
384 00:13:17 What are you guys talking about?
385 00:13:19 - Yeah, Stanford.- Mm-hmm. Stanford University.
386 00:13:21 Hey, I'm not going to college.
387 00:13:24 I got recruited to go code for Google.
388 00:13:26 I mean, it's not Apple,
389 00:13:28 but the bennies are pretty tight, man,
390 00:13:30 and it's mid six-figures,so I'm not complaining.
391 00:13:32 - My boy. That's my boy.- I'm so proud of you. It's amazing.
392 00:13:34 You failed the seventh grade twice.
393 00:13:36 Rule of threes.
394 00:13:40 - You guys are serious?- Mm-hmm.
395 00:13:42 Hey, um, I might pretend
396 00:13:44 like I don't know you next year.
397 00:13:46 No offense.
398 00:13:48 Hmm. This...
399 00:13:50 This isn't possible.
400 00:13:51 You guys don't even care about school.
401 00:13:54 No, we just don't only care about school.
402 00:14:07 Well, I'm, I'm done.
403 00:14:08 All right. After you. After you.
404 00:14:10 Okay.
405 00:14:12 So-sorry, excuse me.
406 00:14:16 You've worked harder than everyone
407 00:14:19 who's ever doubted you.
408 00:14:21 Worked harder.
409 00:14:24 Doubted you.
410 00:14:34 Hey, you okay?
411 00:14:37 Nick, where are you goingto school next year?
412 00:14:39 - I thought we weren't supposed to talk...- Just tell me!
413 00:14:41 Georgetown. Jesus.
414 00:14:45 - Hope!- No.
415 00:14:46 - Where you going to school next year?- I couldn't be less interested
416 00:14:47 in, like, whatever this is.
417 00:14:49 Gigi!
418 00:14:51 Where the fuck are you goingto school next year?
419 00:14:52 Don't judge me.It was my fifth choice.
420 00:14:54 Harvard.
421 00:15:16 Seniors rule!
422 00:15:19 ♪ No ice with a straw, yeah ♪
423 00:15:20 ♪ Now, who could drive awayfrom the corner? ♪
424 00:15:26 ♪ I'm a bitchI cannot be bothered ♪
425 00:15:28 ♪ I'm not hereto ask about your mother ♪
426 00:15:30 ♪ Don't care who you aredon't care what you do ♪
427 00:15:33 ♪ But if you buy my drinksI can act like I do ♪
428 00:15:36 ♪ A double, double rum cola ♪
429 00:15:38 ♪ No ice, with a straw, yeah ♪
430 00:15:40 ♪ Now, who could drive awayfrom the corner? ♪
431 00:15:59 ♪ If you don't say something ♪
432 00:16:00 ♪ In the next ten minutes ♪
433 00:16:02 ♪ I'm gonna take you to the hospital ♪
434 00:16:06 ♪ I don't wanna sayI'm getting concerned ♪
435 00:16:09 ♪ But to be honest,I'm getting concerned ♪
436 00:16:12 This is fucked!
437 00:16:13 Okay.
438 00:16:15 This is obviously not helping.
439 00:16:17 We chose.We didn't party,
440 00:16:19 because we wanted to focus on school
441 00:16:21 and get into good colleges.
442 00:16:22 And it worked.
443 00:16:23 But the irresponsible people who partied
444 00:16:26 also got into those colleges.
445 00:16:27 They did both.
446 00:16:28 - So?- So, we messed up.
447 00:16:31 We didn't have to choose.They did both.
448 00:16:33 We are the only assholes who did one.
449 00:16:34 Hey! We are not assholes, okay?Let's just...
450 00:16:38 Come sit down, we'll cut the cake,
451 00:16:41 look at the memory box,
452 00:16:42 - Celebrate the end...- This is not
453 00:16:43 a time to celebrate.
454 00:16:45 We have to goto a party tonight.
455 00:16:48 - What?- Let's go to Nick's party.
456 00:16:50 Na, are you kidding?No! No way.
457 00:16:52 Amy, we only have one night left
458 00:16:54 to have studiedand partied in high school.
459 00:16:56 Otherwise, we're just gonna bethe girls that missed out!
460 00:16:59 We haven't done anything!We haven't broken any rules!
461 00:17:02 Okay. We've broken a lot of rules.
462 00:17:05 One, we have fake IDs.
463 00:17:07 Fake college IDs,
464 00:17:08 so we can get intotheir 24-hour library.
465 00:17:10 Name one personwhose life was so much better
466 00:17:12 - because they broke a couple of rules.- Picasso.
467 00:17:14 That's... He broke art rules.Name a person who broke a real rule.
468 00:17:17 - Rosa Parks.- Name another one.
469 00:17:18 - Susan B. Anthony.- God damn it!
470 00:17:20 Amy, I'm so serious.They think that we're robots.
471 00:17:23 They think all we care about
472 00:17:25 is taking a million APsand getting into Yale
473 00:17:27 and editing law review at Georgetown,
474 00:17:29 and clerking for a federal judgebetween junior and senior year
475 00:17:31 before eventually becoming
476 00:17:32 the youngest justice ever nominated
477 00:17:35 to the Supreme Court of the United States!
478 00:17:41 In my case.
479 00:17:43 You get the point.
480 00:17:44 Nobody knows that we are fun.
481 00:17:46 - We know.- They need to know.
482 00:17:48 - Who's "they"?- We are not one-dimensional.
483 00:17:51 We are smart and fun.
484 00:17:54 We have to do this.
485 00:17:56 This is crazy.We graduate tomorrow.
486 00:17:59 What if we get in trouble?
487 00:18:01 You know that we are too smart for that.
488 00:18:03 Plus, Ryan is gonna be there.
489 00:18:05 She wanted you to come.
490 00:18:06 You're finally gonna make your move.
491 00:18:08 No.She's not... No.
492 00:18:10 You've been out for two years,and you've never kissed a girl.
493 00:18:12 I want you to experience this.
494 00:18:14 What will I be doing duringthat time, you might ask?
495 00:18:17 I'm going to experiencea seminal, fun anecdote,
496 00:18:21 and we are gonna change our stories.
497 00:18:23 Forever.
498 00:18:27 We were gonna watch that Ken Burns thing.
499 00:18:29 The Dust Bowl can wait, bitch!
500 00:18:31 What took them four years,we are doing in one night!
501 00:18:35 Oh, Jesus!
502 00:18:36 ♪ Like the way I work itthen I bend it over show 'em shots ♪
503 00:18:38 ♪ All these hoes around heresitting on they ass shots ♪
504 00:18:40 ♪ Then I pop it then I shake itlike an assquake ♪
505 00:18:43 ♪ More then all these fakesI bet these bitches know me ♪
506 00:18:44 ♪ I'm the baddest in the building ♪
507 00:18:45 ♪ Now these bitches want to be me... ♪
508 00:18:46 - No.- No.
509 00:18:48 - No. Not acceptable.- This is not okay.
510 00:18:49 Who allowed you to be this beautiful?
511 00:18:51 - Who allowed you to be this beautiful?- Who allowed you to take my breath away?
512 00:18:55 Call the paramedics.Call the police.
513 00:18:57 'Cause there has been an emergency.
514 00:18:58 I can't look right at it.
515 00:18:59 Not today!
516 00:19:03 Grip escape move!
517 00:19:06 Oh. Work. Get it. Tushy.
518 00:19:09 Hand sanitizer.Chapstick. College IDs.
519 00:19:13 Now, mace. Listen,
520 00:19:14 it is very importantthat you keep the safety...
521 00:19:18 - Amy!- The safety's not on!
522 00:19:19 Don't touch your eyes!
523 00:19:20 You have the same parts she does.
524 00:19:22 You just take what you do to yourself,
525 00:19:24 flip it upside down.
526 00:19:25 Well, I don't, I don't really...
527 00:19:27 Just a down, but a flip.
528 00:19:29 - I don't...- A down flip.
529 00:19:31 What if I don't use my hands?
530 00:19:33 You can make yourself comeusing only your mind?
531 00:19:36 - No!- That's the one thing
532 00:19:37 - my mind can't do.- No!
533 00:19:39 Look, I use, just...
534 00:19:40 other stuff.
535 00:19:43 - A book?- No.
536 00:19:44 Very Freudian, but I'd worryabout paper cuts.
537 00:19:46 No! Can we just stop talking about this?
538 00:19:48 - That little elephant?- No! Stop!
539 00:19:51 That weird crochet pig?
540 00:19:52 My grandma gave me thatright before she died!
541 00:19:54 If you don't tell me what it is,
542 00:19:55 - you know I'm gonna get it...- It's the panda!
543 00:19:56 It's the panda, okay?
544 00:19:58 The panda. Whatever. Just...
545 00:20:00 Argh. Can we just stop talking about this,
546 00:20:03 please, for the love of all things?
547 00:20:05 Quick question.
548 00:20:06 Just a quick Q.
549 00:20:08 What happened to her eye?
550 00:20:12 That fell off way beforeanything happened between us.
551 00:20:14 - Does she talk dirty to you?- Mm-mm.
552 00:20:17 Tell you about how she's endangered?
553 00:20:19 No!
554 00:20:20 - Stop!- Do pandas roar?
555 00:20:22 Stop!
556 00:20:23 You sneaky little bitch!
557 00:20:25 I can't believe you didn't tell me
558 00:20:27 that you have been mountingthat tragic panda
559 00:20:30 every single night!
560 00:20:31 - Yeah.- This is honestly, it's exhilarating.
561 00:20:33 I thought I knew everything about you.
562 00:20:35 I think it's healthy for a relationship
563 00:20:37 to have secrets, and now we have one.
564 00:20:38 Do I have a secret for you?Okay, yes.
565 00:20:41 - Uh-huh.- Yeah.
566 00:20:42 I once tried to masturbate
567 00:20:45 with an electric toothbrush.
568 00:20:48 But I got a horrible UTI.
569 00:20:50 Horrible. Like... horrible.
570 00:20:54 I wish that would've been a secret,
571 00:20:56 but you've mentioned it many, many times.
572 00:21:01 Hey, hey!I need you to do the talking.
573 00:21:05 Why don't you just tell themwe're going to a party?
574 00:21:07 Because they'll ask too many questions.
575 00:21:09 They'll try to call Nick's aunt.
576 00:21:10 I've never lied to my parents before.
577 00:21:13 And you know when I lie,I just add too many details.
578 00:21:16 Just, just make up a story, but don't say
579 00:21:18 we're having a date night or anything.
580 00:21:19 Why? It's funny your parentsthink we're boning.
581 00:21:22 No, it's not, because you're not the one
582 00:21:24 who has to deal with their creepy smiles
583 00:21:26 when I tell them I'm meetingyou at the library,
584 00:21:28 when I'm actuallymeeting you at the library.
585 00:21:30 Honestly, it's surprisingthat Doug and Charmaine are supportive,
586 00:21:33 considering their whole Jesus thing.It's nice.
587 00:21:36 Charmaine, get to the safe room.
588 00:21:37 - Hey!- We're being robbed by super models!
589 00:21:39 Aw, you girls look fabulous!
590 00:21:41 And smart and also brave.
591 00:21:44 - Thank you.- Yeah, thanks.
592 00:21:45 Wait, are you guys cold?
593 00:21:46 - A little.- Just a little nippy.
594 00:21:48 I'll start a fire!
595 00:21:49 Or I'll turn up the heat.Just get the jackets off.
596 00:21:50 Dinner's about ready.
597 00:21:52 - Oh, well...- You gotta taste this.
598 00:21:53 - Yeah.- I'm calling it
599 00:21:54 "diplo-meatball."
600 00:21:57 - Sure!- Don't engage, don't engage.
601 00:21:58 Oh, right. Right, okay.
602 00:21:59 Um, Char-Char. Dougsicles.
603 00:22:01 Would it be okay if Amy stayedover at my house tonight?
604 00:22:08 - The, the, the night before graduation?- Well...
605 00:22:11 Yeah. you know, my momcan drive us to the ceremony.
606 00:22:14 We just want as much timetogether as we can
607 00:22:16 before she leaves for Africa.
608 00:22:18 We made, uh, mushroom cap and gowns.
609 00:22:21 We made special names for all this stuff.
610 00:22:24 Great deal of care was taken.
611 00:22:26 - Well...- Every... I mean, look at...
612 00:22:29 chips and sal-so long, high school.
613 00:22:31 You know,
614 00:22:32 cheese and sala-me being your dad
615 00:22:35 was the greatest honor of my life.
616 00:22:37 Everything has a name.O-Love my baby girl.
617 00:22:40 - Yeah.- That's olives.
618 00:22:41 - Doug...- Do you know what?
619 00:22:43 We get it. We get it.
620 00:22:45 - We understand, okay.- Yes, yes, we do.
621 00:22:47 - What you two have...- We do. I'm sorry.
622 00:22:49 What they have is very, very special.
623 00:22:52 - Yeah.- Ah, it really is. It is.
624 00:22:56 You know, they sayyou never forget your first.
625 00:22:59 Friend.
626 00:23:01 - Special friend.- Normal friend.
627 00:23:03 - Yeah, my special friend.- Mm-hmm. yeah.
628 00:23:05 I'm just so thankful we get to spendthe whole night together
629 00:23:08 to really show each otherhow much we care
630 00:23:11 - about each other.- Oh!
631 00:23:12 - That's great.- Mm, my girl!
632 00:23:15 We'll probably just do a Korean face mask.
633 00:23:17 Well, I don't need to know all the words.
634 00:23:20 - Okay.- Go, go, go!
635 00:23:24 Okay.
636 00:23:27 Yes!
637 00:23:30 Nick's auntie's houseis about to be poppin'.
638 00:23:32 - Big-Ass party.- Aunt Viv! Aunt Viv, I love...
639 00:23:34 10-4. That's for the boy.
640 00:23:38 Ferris isn't trying to fall in love...
641 00:23:40 Yes, he is.
642 00:23:43 Oh, fuck!
643 00:23:44 Oh, my god.Tanner ate a ghost pepper.
644 00:23:47 He needs milk!Someone get him milk. That's...
645 00:23:50 - That's not gonna help.- Oh, fuck!
646 00:23:54 Oh, that's too much milk.He, he just had too much milk.
647 00:23:57 Fuck! No one is answering!
648 00:24:01 Somebody give me the address.
649 00:24:03 W-We've never hung outwith any of these people
650 00:24:06 outside of academic activities.
651 00:24:08 They probably think we'recalling about school stuff.
652 00:24:11 You're right.Can we just call a Lyft?
653 00:24:14 We still don't know where we're going.
654 00:24:16 Do you know a Lyft driver that knows
655 00:24:18 where Nick's aunt lives?
656 00:24:20 I think I do.
657 00:24:24 Who are you calling?
658 00:24:26 Don't worry about it, chica.
659 00:24:27 What?
660 00:24:35 Jesus Christ!
661 00:24:37 All aboard the SS Lit...
662 00:24:40 As Fuck!
663 00:24:41 The SS Lit As Fuck!
664 00:24:45 I'm so glad you called.
665 00:24:46 Sorry it took so long.
666 00:24:47 Traffic was nerts!
667 00:24:49 I'm co... I'm coming...
668 00:24:50 It's like Guy Fieri's wet dream.
669 00:24:53 It's a means to an end.
670 00:24:56 May I offer you the front,mademoiselle? No?
671 00:24:59 Going for the back.That's cool.
672 00:25:00 Back's great, too.
673 00:25:01 Great air flow back there.Get on in there.
674 00:25:03 Okay.
675 00:25:04 Time for some nights we'll never rememberwith some friends we'll never forget, huh?
676 00:25:07 Jared, you know where the party is, right?
677 00:25:09 Abso-fruit-ly, ladies.
678 00:25:10 We are headed to the biggest,
679 00:25:12 coolest grad night party in town.
680 00:25:13 Can I get a what-what?
681 00:25:15 Jesus Christ.
682 00:25:16 No? That's okay. Maybe later.
683 00:25:18 It's over on the west side.
684 00:25:19 So, get some tunes goin'.
685 00:25:21 WOMANRandom House Audio presents
686 00:25:23 Women, Workand the Will to Lead...
687 00:25:25 Okay. That's embarrassing.
688 00:25:29 I have this thing where I like to hear
689 00:25:30 the words of powerful women before I party
690 00:25:32 to remind myself of the respect and awe
691 00:25:34 you ladies deserve.
692 00:25:35 "Internalizing the revolution."
693 00:25:37 I got pregnant withmy first child in the summer...
694 00:25:40 Well, I'll get something peppy going.We'll get this party started, huh?
695 00:25:43 ♪ Holy calamity ♪
696 00:25:44 ♪ Scream insanity ♪
697 00:25:45 ♪ All you ever gonna be'sanother great fan of me ♪
698 00:25:54 Sorry about that.
699 00:25:55 Jared, it's fine.Isn't she your girlfriend or something?
700 00:25:57 What? No, she's...
701 00:26:00 No girlfriend for me.I can't pick faves.
702 00:26:02 Too many ladies wanna lock this down,
703 00:26:04 and they don't have the code.
704 00:26:05 2-8-3-1.Well, tha-tha-that's my pin number.
705 00:26:08 Uh...
706 00:26:10 Sorry, I'll just...What's up, Gege?
707 00:26:12 Jared, where the fuck did you go?
708 00:26:14 I left my tin of special things
709 00:26:16 in your car, and I need it!
710 00:26:17 Okay, all right. Jeez, Louise!
711 00:26:19 Do I wanna know whata "tin of special things" is?
712 00:26:25 Oh, my god.
713 00:26:27 - This is drugs.- What?
714 00:26:29 What?
715 00:26:30 Hey, Jare.
716 00:26:31 Jared, we're just gonna hop out here.
717 00:26:33 - Wait, what? Why?- She's... No.
718 00:26:35 - She's kidding.- No. I'm not.
719 00:26:37 Our, our friend, she just texted us,
720 00:26:39 and she said she, she, she hit a possum
721 00:26:40 - with her car.- Oh, no.
722 00:26:42 - Yeah, yeah, it's bad.- Do you know what kind of possum, or...
723 00:26:44 But the possum didn't die.
724 00:26:45 Its adrenaline and ragejust made it stronger...
725 00:26:47 Okay, we are not hopping off.Keep driving.
726 00:26:50 What about the po...Is she gonna be okay?
727 00:26:52 Do you wanna text herto see if she's okay?
728 00:26:53 Enough about the possum!
729 00:26:54 Jared, you took Spanish, right?
730 00:26:57 Speak Chinese.
731 00:26:58 It's gonna be fine. Trust me.
732 00:27:00 Don't patronize me.
733 00:27:01 What if Gigi takes it and diesand our prints are on the tin?
734 00:27:04 Chain of custody!
735 00:27:06 I'm not getting any of it.
736 00:27:07 Criminally negligent homicide!
737 00:27:09 Our prints aren't on the powder.We could pour it out the window!
738 00:27:15 Whoo!
739 00:27:17 Came in a little hot there.
740 00:27:18 That's my bad.But we are here.
741 00:27:21 - What do we do?- Don't move. Don't inhale.
742 00:27:23 All right.
743 00:27:25 Oh, shit.
744 00:27:26 There are drugs in my orifices.
745 00:27:29 Drugs? Oh, no, that's not drugs.
746 00:27:32 That's just Gigi's vitamins.
747 00:27:33 Her, her what?
748 00:27:35 Yeah. You know, like vitamin D, B-12.
749 00:27:37 Gigi likes to crunch them upand snort them.
750 00:27:39 She says they work better that way.
751 00:27:40 We'll get you cleaned up on board.
752 00:27:42 Wait. What do you mean "on board"?
753 00:27:44 Okay. Now, you guys said
754 00:27:46 you wanted to go to the best party.
755 00:27:48 So, I brought you to the best party,
756 00:27:51 which is my party.
757 00:27:52 Prepare to get bashed!
758 00:27:55 N-not in, like, a violent way,
759 00:27:57 completely consensual bash.
760 00:27:59 I don't know if that was clear.
761 00:28:00 "Prepare to getconsensually bashed," that'll say.
762 00:28:02 I'll have 'em change it.What do you think?
763 00:28:03 You're serious, Jared?This is your party?
764 00:28:05 You don't wanna goto Nick's lame house party.
765 00:28:07 You don't.A boat is international waters, right?
766 00:28:09 Maritime law.Just come check it out for a little bit.
767 00:28:12 It's sick!The catering company
768 00:28:14 said it's the coolest partythey've ever been to.
769 00:28:16 And I'll tell you something...
770 00:28:18 they worked Sasha Obama's sweet 16.
771 00:28:22 Up to you.
772 00:28:23 What are we thinking?
773 00:28:24 We still don't have the address to Nick's.
774 00:28:26 Someone on board might know where it is.
775 00:28:29 And I'd like to meetsomeone who met Sasha.
776 00:28:32 Yeah. Respect for Sasha.
777 00:28:34 - Okay. Mm-hmm.- Yeah?
778 00:28:36 Let's go.
779 00:28:37 You guys excited?
780 00:28:42 - Oh, my god!- Welcome to the club!
781 00:28:44 - Oh, no!- Pretty cool, huh?
782 00:28:45 We're on a boat ride now.What's up with that?
783 00:28:47 There's not a soul here, Ames.
784 00:28:49 Ice tiger.
785 00:28:50 This is insane.You made gift bags?
786 00:28:53 There's an iPad in here.
787 00:28:54 Pre-loaded with photos of allour best high school memories.
788 00:28:57 Class of 2019, say what?Champagne?
789 00:28:59 There's a masseusein the back, male or female.
790 00:29:02 Gambling behind the bar.Do you guys tan?
791 00:29:04 I'm so happy you guys are here.
792 00:29:07 I knew you guys partied.
793 00:29:10 - Didn't I, Jared?- You did. She said it.
794 00:29:11 I told him. Those guys seem quiet,
795 00:29:12 but they're probably spendingevery weekend
796 00:29:14 at, like, a sex dungeon.
797 00:29:15 - No.- Nope.
798 00:29:16 Here. Try one of these strawberries.
799 00:29:18 Okay.
800 00:29:20 - No.- No, no, no.
801 00:29:28 - Not bad.- That's pretty good.
802 00:29:30 Wait.
803 00:29:35 Mm...
804 00:29:38 Oh, god, you taste like my vitamins.
805 00:29:40 - I think I'm in love with you.- Uh... I don't think you are.
806 00:29:43 You're coming with me.
807 00:29:45 - No, I don't think so.- Dance party upstairs!
808 00:29:47 Yeah! Whoo!
809 00:29:49 - No, wait. Amy! Amy!- Yes! Yes! Yeah!
810 00:29:51 Amy! Ame, we're not...
811 00:29:53 Look what I found,
812 00:29:54 with your name on it.
813 00:29:55 Come on. Too cool.
814 00:29:57 How do you feel, huh?You look stoked.
815 00:29:58 - Chicken spring roll?- No, thank you.
816 00:30:03 You want?
817 00:30:05 Oh. No, thank you.Not a drug person.
818 00:30:08 Not even pot?
819 00:30:10 I feel like it could help you relax.
820 00:30:11 - Nope. Doesn't work for me.- Hmm.
821 00:30:14 DJ Rod!
822 00:30:16 What the fuck?
823 00:30:20 Jared... stop.
824 00:30:22 Jared, wrap...
825 00:30:24 Take the helmet off!
826 00:30:26 Take the helmet off!
827 00:30:30 This isn't working.
828 00:30:31 You can't buy people's affection.
829 00:30:35 Um...
830 00:30:38 Mmm... no, I'm pretty sure you can,
831 00:30:41 'cause I've seen it a lot.
832 00:30:43 My parents did it.Their parents did it.
833 00:30:46 Just stop trying so hard, okay.
834 00:30:47 People can sense it.It turns them off.
835 00:30:49 But you try hard.
836 00:30:51 I mean, you try hard at everything.That's what I like about you.
837 00:30:56 - I didn't mean it like...- Uh, no.
838 00:30:57 I'm just gonna...
839 00:30:58 - I meant more like...- I'm... I'm gonna go.
840 00:30:59 Lamb meatball?
841 00:31:00 Motherfucker!You're everywhere!
842 00:31:02 One time I ate a legal pot brownie
843 00:31:04 when Model UN went to Amsterdam.
844 00:31:06 And as soon as I got high,I just cried about the fact that one day
845 00:31:09 my mom will die, so...
846 00:31:11 - I had the exact same thing.- Really?
847 00:31:13 I lost my virginity inwhat I thought was a park,
848 00:31:15 but it turned out to be a graveyard.
849 00:31:17 And now the ghost spiritslive inside my eggs,
850 00:31:19 waiting to be reborn.
851 00:31:20 That's not at all the same.
852 00:31:21 I always felt like we were similar.
853 00:31:23 God, I'm gonna miss you.Come here.
854 00:31:25 Hey, you can't smoke up here.
855 00:31:26 - Oh.- What'd you just say to her?
856 00:31:27 I said it to you.You can't smoke.
857 00:31:28 - Um...- Uh-uh-uh.
858 00:31:29 You do not speakto her that way.
859 00:31:31 Is the "her" me?'Cause I'm fine.
860 00:31:33 That is my best friendin the fucking world.
861 00:31:36 We're not. She's not...
862 00:31:37 We'll fucking fight you to the death!
863 00:31:39 Okay! I'm calling security.
864 00:31:41 Amy, we need to get
865 00:31:42 - the fuck out of here...- Oh, my god!
866 00:31:44 ...because I swear to...
867 00:31:45 Light 'em up, Luanne!
868 00:31:46 It's go time!
869 00:31:47 There's only one thing left to do.
870 00:31:49 Jump.
871 00:31:51 - No- Wait. What?
872 00:31:52 No! No, thank you!No, seriously, Gigi.
873 00:31:54 What're you guys doing up here?
874 00:31:55 - Swan dive into the future!- Grip escape move!
875 00:31:59 No, no, no. Gege. Gege!
876 00:32:02 Holy fuck!
877 00:32:03 Gege, are you okay?
878 00:32:05 - She's okay!- Just bail.
879 00:32:06 Bail! Bail! Bail!
880 00:32:14 Oh, my god! I'm so sweaty!
881 00:32:17 Ugh! My god!
882 00:32:19 We need to figure something outbefore we get to Nick's.
883 00:32:22 - You still wanna go to Nick's?- You don't?
884 00:32:24 Well, dude, we went to a party.
885 00:32:27 We did it. Let's go home.
886 00:32:31 - Amy?- Don't do your lecture voice.
887 00:32:34 That was not a party.
888 00:32:36 Well, it definitely was a party.
889 00:32:38 That was a detour.
890 00:32:40 We are A-plus people,
891 00:32:42 and we were going to an A-plus party.
892 00:32:44 Like this.
893 00:32:51 Oh, my god. Alan responded.
894 00:32:52 We have the address!Okay, I'm calling a Lyft.
895 00:32:54 Oh, my score is...my score is very low.
896 00:32:57 I'm much too abrasive with the drivers.
897 00:32:59 - You should call for one.- I'm gonna go home.
898 00:33:01 But if you wanna go to Nick's,you should really go.
899 00:33:03 Seriously, go.
900 00:33:06 Malala.
901 00:33:10 Whoa.
902 00:33:11 I'm calling Malala.
903 00:33:13 Wow. You know you only get,like, one Malala a year.
904 00:33:17 Yeah, I'm calling it.
905 00:33:19 Full support, no questions asked,
906 00:33:21 you are coming with me.
907 00:33:22 Hmm.
908 00:33:26 Malala.
909 00:33:28 All right.
910 00:33:30 Malala.
911 00:33:36 Um...
912 00:33:38 Okay. Jordan?
913 00:33:40 Yeah, and you're Amy...
914 00:33:44 Shit.
915 00:33:54 You know, this job's a good way
916 00:33:56 to supplement the, uh, the old income.
917 00:33:59 You know, teachers' salariestoday and all, it's...
918 00:34:01 - It's so terrible.- Yeah, it's a disgrace.
919 00:34:03 Yeah, meet new people
920 00:34:04 and see new parts of the city
921 00:34:05 and run into old friends.
922 00:34:08 "Friends"?
923 00:34:09 Plus, I'm writing a book now.
924 00:34:10 - Oh!- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
925 00:34:12 - Not just the principal.- Cool.
926 00:34:13 Nothing more exciting or daunting
927 00:34:15 than the blank page, you know?One of the books I'm thinking about doing
928 00:34:19 is a book of quotes.
929 00:34:20 "Nothing more daunting or exciting
930 00:34:22 than the blank page."
931 00:34:23 But yeah, that's one idea.
932 00:34:25 Thinkin' about doing a detective novel.
933 00:34:27 Actually, you know what?You two will love...
934 00:34:29 Amy, you'll love this.
935 00:34:30 It's a female detective.
936 00:34:32 - A lady detective.- Oh, really?
937 00:34:33 Yeah, yeah, yeah.How about that, right?
938 00:34:34 Interesting.
939 00:34:35 Yeah, and she's pregnant, too.
940 00:34:37 Still workin', and, you know, the baby...
941 00:34:39 whenever she's close to a clue,
942 00:34:41 or one of her hunches is,like, you know, close,
943 00:34:44 the baby kicks. You know?
944 00:34:46 And the harder it kicks,the closer she is,
945 00:34:48 and that's where I'm at right...
946 00:34:50 I... I don't know what to do once, um...
947 00:34:52 you know, when she gives birth, but, um...
948 00:34:55 Hey, you dumb son of a bitch!
949 00:34:58 Choose a lane!
950 00:35:00 That was nuts.I don't know what that was.
951 00:35:02 Oh, this town.
952 00:35:05 Lot of angry people in this town.
953 00:35:09 Yeah.
954 00:35:16 You guys want some music, maybe?
955 00:35:17 - Yeah. Genius.- Yeah.
956 00:35:23 Dude, we're gonna get to Nick's so late.
957 00:35:25 It's fine.Everybody shows up to parties late.
958 00:35:28 It's like... it's cooler to be late.
959 00:35:30 We're gonna arrive right at the crest
960 00:35:32 and before you know it,you'll be neck deep in Ryan.
961 00:35:34 - Neck deep in what direction?- You tell me.
962 00:35:37 I don't know.I don't know anything.
963 00:35:40 This is like your nightmare
964 00:35:41 about having to land a commercial airliner
965 00:35:43 but much, much worse.
966 00:35:46 I mean, is it? Is it worse?
967 00:35:48 Well, yeah.
968 00:35:50 I had the lives of 100 people in my hands.
969 00:35:51 My crew was counting on me.I mean, I was their Sully.
970 00:35:53 - I'm really stressed about it.- I'm...
971 00:35:55 Okay. I know you are.
972 00:35:56 If only there was just...
973 00:35:59 a video of people hookin' up.
974 00:36:03 Sorry, are you talking about porn?
975 00:36:05 - All I'm saying...- No.
976 00:36:06 No one will know if youwatched one porn one time.
977 00:36:10 Think of it as a documentary.
978 00:36:12 It's just a sexy documentary.It's a hot doc.
979 00:36:14 All of those women areEuropean trafficking victims.
980 00:36:17 Excuse me, ma'am, are you judging
981 00:36:18 other people's sexual preferences?
982 00:36:20 'Cause you fuck a panda every night.
983 00:36:21 "Fuck a panda."So fucking funny!
984 00:36:23 Are you about to say you're gonna judge me
985 00:36:24 for dabbling in pornography?
986 00:36:26 I thought you werea sex-positive feminist.
987 00:36:28 Are you insane?
988 00:36:30 Principal Brown is right there!
989 00:36:32 - I have headphones.- He's four feet away from us.
990 00:36:34 I have headphones, madam.
991 00:36:38 All right, but once we geta sense of the mechanics,
992 00:36:41 I am shutting it off real quick.
993 00:36:43 Of course.
994 00:36:46 It's for educational purposes.
995 00:36:47 Educational purposes.
996 00:36:51 ♪ Ow, we want the funk ♪
997 00:36:54 Huh.
998 00:36:55 ♪ Give up the funk ♪
999 00:36:56 ♪ Ow, we need the funk... ♪
1000 00:36:59 Plug in.Your phone's gonna die.
1001 00:37:01 Um...
1002 00:37:05 Principal Brown?
1003 00:37:06 Oh.Principal Brown was my dad.
1004 00:37:09 Just call me Jordan.
1005 00:37:10 Uh... no, thank you.
1006 00:37:12 - Principal Brown?- Yes.
1007 00:37:13 Uh, do you havea phone charger?
1008 00:37:15 No, I don't. Got, like, 13.
1009 00:37:18 Yeah, here.There you go. Catch.
1010 00:37:22 I didn't know you coulddo that from that angle.
1011 00:37:26 Oh, wait, what did I miss?
1012 00:37:28 - Go back, actually.- Yeah, scroll back?
1013 00:37:29 I need to review that part.Wait, it start...
1014 00:37:30 - Right there.- Right there.
1015 00:37:33 If you guys wanna listen to your music,
1016 00:37:34 I can just plug it in up here.
1017 00:37:35 - What? No! No!- No, no!
1018 00:37:38 No, fuck!
1019 00:37:39 That's fuckin' hot.
1020 00:37:45 Come on! Come on.
1021 00:37:56 Don't touch me.
1022 00:37:59 Was that Cardi B?
1023 00:38:05 Oh, my god.
1024 00:38:06 I can't believe that happened.
1025 00:38:07 - You are the devil.- I'm gonna die.
1026 00:38:08 I'm literally gonna physically die.
1027 00:38:11 Oh, Jesus Christ.
1028 00:38:15 Come in.
1029 00:38:18 - He's dead!- What the fuck?
1030 00:38:21 - He's dead!- Who's dead?
1031 00:38:24 My husband. He's been killed!
1032 00:38:27 Okay, Alan, you don't haveto do your entrance
1033 00:38:30 every time somebody arrives,okay?
1034 00:38:34 - What are you guys doing here?- What is going on?
1035 00:38:37 It's a murder mystery party.
1036 00:38:39 I've been planning itfor months.
1037 00:38:41 Wait. This is your house? Alan!
1038 00:38:43 Alan, I was so clear in my text.
1039 00:38:45 We were lookingfor Nick's party!
1040 00:38:47 My husband, Robert, wasan esteemed Broadway director
1041 00:38:50 and the love of my life!
1042 00:38:52 And he's been killedlike a dog in the street!
1043 00:38:56 - Was he stabbed?- That sounds very tragic,
1044 00:38:59 but there's been a mistake.
1045 00:39:00 We're looking for Nick's party.
1046 00:39:02 Do you have the address?We can't find it.
1047 00:39:04 I don't know a Nick.
1048 00:39:06 I only know sorrow...
1049 00:39:08 and grief.
1050 00:39:10 Okay, you're at a ten.
1051 00:39:11 I need you at a two.
1052 00:39:15 I have a wake to plan.
1053 00:39:17 Okay, well, if you guys are here,
1054 00:39:19 you might as well take someof the extra characters
1055 00:39:21 since two people decided not to show up.
1056 00:39:22 No.
1057 00:39:24 Okay.
1058 00:39:27 Adorable farmer, new to the city.
1059 00:39:29 - Cool.- No, no, no,
1060 00:39:30 - we don't need characters...- Hideous...
1061 00:39:31 - ...because we're not staying.- ...barren orthodontist.
1062 00:39:33 Why am I barren?
1063 00:39:35 Am I here to farm,or have I given up that life?
1064 00:39:37 This just says "orthodontist."
1065 00:39:38 Your backstories areactually in the packets.
1066 00:39:40 No, no, no, we are not staying,
1067 00:39:42 and we're going to Nick's party.
1068 00:39:43 We can just stay for a second.
1069 00:39:44 - No.- Is that the party
1070 00:39:45 - where somebody ate a ghost pepper?- Yes.
1071 00:39:47 Yeah, somebody herecame from there, I think.
1072 00:39:49 Maybe the mayor?
1073 00:39:51 Go! Immerse yourselves.
1074 00:39:54 Review your histories in the parlor.
1075 00:39:57 Okay, if your characters aren't married,
1076 00:39:58 hands off each other.
1077 00:39:59 No.
1078 00:40:03 - Do not go gently...- Whoa, she's really good.
1079 00:40:06 Oh, my god! You guys are here.
1080 00:40:08 - Whoa, what the fuck?- How did you get here?
1081 00:40:09 - How did you get here?- And how are you dry?
1082 00:40:11 How are you dry?
1083 00:40:13 Aaron, I can see you breathing.
1084 00:40:15 Gigi, mm, dig deeper.
1085 00:40:17 - I don't know what...- I can't think about it.
1086 00:40:21 Oh, is it over?
1087 00:40:23 No! Stop. Mom, do not talk to the actors.
1088 00:40:25 The house is mine until 11:00 p.m.
1089 00:40:27 Cindy, I swear to fucking god.
1090 00:40:31 - Jesus Christ! God!- Gigi, what the fuck?
1091 00:40:34 Guys, the re-election is coming up,
1092 00:40:36 and I need to knowif I have to buy your votes.
1093 00:40:38 Wait. Are you the mayor?
1094 00:40:39 Do you know where Nick's party is?
1095 00:40:41 Of course I do.I know where all the parties are.
1096 00:40:43 - Where is it?- Come into my office. Now.
1097 00:40:46 Okay, thank you.
1098 00:40:47 In, in, in. Go, go, go.
1099 00:40:49 Come, come, come.Now, now, now!
1100 00:40:52 Okay.
1101 00:40:54 You can't tell anyone.
1102 00:40:55 We won't.
1103 00:40:57 Not even each other.
1104 00:40:59 Okay.
1105 00:41:00 Nick's party...
1106 00:41:05 ...is at his aunt's house.
1107 00:41:09 We know it's at his...
1108 00:41:11 Amy, I swear to god,I need to get out of here.
1109 00:41:14 By the way, I am pretty impressed
1110 00:41:16 with how well you guysare holding it together.
1111 00:41:18 You're doing fantastic.
1112 00:41:20 What do you mean?
1113 00:41:23 I thought the strawberrieswould have hit by now.
1114 00:41:25 Why would strawberries hit?
1115 00:41:27 Because they were dippedin an unbelievably potent drug.
1116 00:41:32 It's like ayahuasca but asian.
1117 00:41:35 Asian-huasca.
1118 00:41:38 I told you guys that, right?
1119 00:41:39 No, no, no,
1120 00:41:40 no, no, no, no!
1121 00:41:45 My last words!
1122 00:41:46 Pull me back in. Pull me back in.
1123 00:41:49 Oh, my god, here.
1124 00:41:53 Oh, my mom has a scarf that color.
1125 00:41:56 Listen to me.We're gonna be fine.
1126 00:41:59 One time I threw up, and my mom caught it
1127 00:42:01 in her hands 'cause she loves me.
1128 00:42:04 We're healthy, nubile young women,
1129 00:42:07 and we just need to stay calm.
1130 00:42:10 We are gonna be...
1131 00:42:11 Careful.
1132 00:42:31 What? What the fuck?
1133 00:42:35 What the fuck?What is happening?
1134 00:42:41 Why do you look like that?
1135 00:42:43 Uh, Molly, you're a fucking doll.
1136 00:42:45 - No, you're a fucking doll.- What?
1137 00:42:49 Ow! Fuck, that hurt!
1138 00:42:51 My boobs are too heavy.I have no core.
1139 00:42:54 Our legs don't bend.
1140 00:42:55 They're twice as long as our torsos.
1141 00:42:58 These proportions are insane!Where's my chub?
1142 00:43:01 Wait. Where are you going?
1143 00:43:03 - Jesus Christ.- Wait for me!
1144 00:43:05 I have to see for myself.
1145 00:43:08 Well, I've never donethe splits in my life.
1146 00:43:11 Amy!
1147 00:43:14 Help! Molly, help me!
1148 00:43:15 Oh, my god!Don't look down, Amy. No!
1149 00:43:18 I... I can't reach.
1150 00:43:19 You have to put my heel in your hole.
1151 00:43:22 "My heel..."Your heel in my what?
1152 00:43:23 Your hole!
1153 00:43:24 - What hole?- Your corn hole!
1154 00:43:27 Oh. Fuck!
1155 00:43:28 - Molly!- There you go.
1156 00:43:32 Oh, my god.
1157 00:43:34 Um, what the fuck am I wearing?
1158 00:43:37 Where's my vag?
1159 00:43:39 Uh, Molly, I have no genitals.
1160 00:43:40 How do I pee? How do I shit?
1161 00:43:42 I mean, I don't even have nipples.
1162 00:43:44 These are just mounds.
1163 00:43:45 My whole body's like a fucking dolphin.
1164 00:43:48 Just... just perfect, round, huge mounds.
1165 00:43:53 - Uh, what?- Look at my body.
1166 00:43:54 I am beautiful.
1167 00:43:56 No. Don't get sucked in.
1168 00:43:57 This is our nightmare, Amy.
1169 00:43:59 I know this is unrealisticand bad for women,
1170 00:44:02 but is it bad?
1171 00:44:04 Because I feel pretty good.
1172 00:44:05 I mean, this ass won't quit.
1173 00:44:07 Amy, use your brain!
1174 00:44:09 I don't need to use my brain.
1175 00:44:10 I just need to be smooth and flexible.
1176 00:44:13 Look at you, you bad bitch.
1177 00:44:16 Okay, that's it.We have to wake up.
1178 00:44:18 My, my, my. Mmm.
1179 00:44:22 I think I might, like,
1180 00:44:23 actually stay here for a while.
1181 00:44:25 No, I won't let you do this.
1182 00:44:28 Stop it, stop it, stop it. Stop.
1183 00:44:30 You need to throw up!
1184 00:44:32 Let me have this body!
1185 00:44:35 Now that the amuse-bouche
1186 00:44:37 of bacon-wrapped dates is over,
1187 00:44:39 why don't we playa rousing round of... J'accuse!
1188 00:44:49 Fuck you, George.
1189 00:44:53 Who is she supposed to be?
1190 00:44:55 The orthodontist.
1191 00:44:59 We're okay. We're okay.
1192 00:45:03 We did it.We went to two parties.
1193 00:45:05 We did drugs.We can say we went out.
1194 00:45:09 Let's go home.
1195 00:45:11 What? No, no, the plan is to go to Nick's.
1196 00:45:13 We have to stick to the plan.
1197 00:45:16 Dude, nothing has goneaccording to plan tonight.
1198 00:45:19 Which is why we haveto stick to the plan.
1199 00:45:21 Let's call another Lyft.
1200 00:45:22 Why are you being so pushy?
1201 00:45:23 Honestly, pushy is a compliment.
1202 00:45:25 You know who else was pushy?
1203 00:45:26 Diane Sawyer, Joan of Arc,Queen Noor of Jordan...
1204 00:45:28 I know where Queen Noor is from.
1205 00:45:31 Once we get to Nick's,all of this will be worth it.
1206 00:45:33 Just forget about Nick's.No one will even tell us where it is.
1207 00:45:36 Why are you being so obsessedwith this party?
1208 00:45:37 Because she loves him.
1209 00:45:39 Oh, my god.Gigi, stop doing that!
1210 00:45:43 - What did you say?- Molly loves Nick.
1211 00:45:44 Can you please stoprepeating that sentence?
1212 00:45:47 Because it's not true.
1213 00:45:48 - Yeah, Molly hates Nick.- Thank you.
1214 00:45:50 She projects disgustto cover up a deep desire...
1215 00:45:53 No, no. N-o. Thanks.Uh, you actually...
1216 00:45:56 You just drugged us,and you tried to throw us off of a boat.
1217 00:45:58 I did. I did.
1218 00:45:59 So, nothing you say isof any value to us.
1219 00:46:03 Yeah, no, you can stop flipping me off
1220 00:46:05 because you should flip off,so shut the fuck up.
1221 00:46:07 Madam Mayor,
1222 00:46:08 what are you doing out here?
1223 00:46:10 George locked himself in the closet.
1224 00:46:11 Fuck!
1225 00:46:13 - Dude.- No.
1226 00:46:18 Dude?
1227 00:46:20 No.
1228 00:46:22 I don't like him.
1229 00:46:24 Yes, maybe he is classically,
1230 00:46:27 traditionally handsomeand weirdly charming,
1231 00:46:30 and maybe my innate biology
1232 00:46:32 registers him as an ideal mate.
1233 00:46:33 And yes, maybe I occasionally fantasize
1234 00:46:35 about him sweeping me off my feet,
1235 00:46:37 And some weaker peoplemight call that a tiny crush.
1236 00:46:40 But I can ignore it,I can fight against it
1237 00:46:42 because we all have weird interests,
1238 00:46:44 and the important thing is that we just,we shove 'em down,
1239 00:46:46 and we never speak about them again.
1240 00:46:49 You don't have to shove anything down.
1241 00:46:53 Yeah.
1242 00:46:54 Yeah, I do, because I can't like him.
1243 00:46:57 Maybe my body can like him,
1244 00:46:59 but my mind knows that that's stupid
1245 00:47:01 because he's just... he's a jock.
1246 00:47:02 And all he cares about isbeing cool and having fun,
1247 00:47:04 and he doesn't even look at girls
1248 00:47:06 unless they look like Triple A.
1249 00:47:07 And he definitely doesn't want me,
1250 00:47:09 because I'm a butter-personality.
1251 00:47:12 How dare you say thatabout my best friend.
1252 00:47:15 Amy, you fucking slapped me...
1253 00:47:16 If you ever say anything like thatabout yourself again,
1254 00:47:18 I will fucking lay you out. Okay?
1255 00:47:21 You are the strongest, coolest, smartest,
1256 00:47:24 most stunningly gorgeous creature
1257 00:47:25 this high schooland this earth has ever seen,
1258 00:47:29 and Nick Howlandwould be so fucking lucky
1259 00:47:31 to be a footnote in your story.
1260 00:47:34 So, we're going to his party.
1261 00:47:35 Are you serious?
1262 00:47:36 I am dead serious.
1263 00:47:39 If Nick's what you want,then that's what you deserve.
1264 00:47:43 How? How are we gonna find outwhere the party is?
1265 00:47:46 By doing what we do best.
1266 00:47:48 Motherfuckin' homework.
1267 00:47:52 ♪ Brushed my hair, went downstairs ♪
1268 00:47:54 ♪ Favorite jeans on my rear ♪
1269 00:47:56 ♪ And I looked up in my mirror ♪
1270 00:47:57 ♪ And I said, "Who's that there? ♪
1271 00:47:59 ♪ Who's that there in that mirror?" ♪
1272 00:48:01 ♪ I don't care and they're aware ♪
1273 00:48:03 ♪ Now I see just why they stare ♪
1274 00:48:05 ♪ I just pay them, I don't care ♪
1275 00:48:07 ♪ I know ♪
1276 00:48:08 ♪ So what I got a attitude? ♪
1277 00:48:10 ♪ Bitch, I got a attitude ♪
1278 00:48:11 - I will now be attempting...- Wait, look.
1279 00:48:13 ...15 pizza boxes.
1280 00:48:17 How many orders that big do you think
1281 00:48:19 Lido's could have filled tonight?
1282 00:48:21 - Genius.- Yeah.
1283 00:48:30 ♪ Y'all niggas got me hot ♪
1284 00:48:37 Fuck.
1285 00:48:39 ♪ Say ♪
1286 00:48:41 ♪ Hey! Well, that's exactlywhat a nigga came for ♪
1287 00:48:46 ♪ Huh, you doin' shots from afar... ♪
1288 00:48:49 Two half-cheese, half-sausage pizzas
1289 00:48:52 are just one cheeseand one sausage pizza.
1290 00:48:55 You fucking morons. Jesus.
1291 00:48:59 Oh, god.
1292 00:49:01 ♪ Hey, now you, drank upall my liquor, come on... ♪
1293 00:49:06 ♪ And you talking all that shit... ♪
1294 00:49:08 Delivery guy!
1295 00:49:09 Oh, my god! Oh, my god!What the fuck?
1296 00:49:11 What the fuck is this?
1297 00:49:13 We ask the questions!
1298 00:49:14 Oh, my god.Oh, shit, shit, shit.
1299 00:49:15 Is this some Manson family shit?
1300 00:49:17 - What is this?- No!
1301 00:49:19 No! Everything is gonna be just fine.
1302 00:49:21 You're just gonna give us the address
1303 00:49:23 to where you deliveredsome pizzas tonight.
1304 00:49:27 Oh, my god.Are you guys out of your fucking mind?
1305 00:49:29 How old are you, by the way?
1306 00:49:30 Does not matter!
1307 00:49:32 Okay, that voice did not makeyou sound older.
1308 00:49:34 So, you're basically children?
1309 00:49:36 And you just willingly gotin the car of a strange man?
1310 00:49:38 Do you guys have a weapon?
1311 00:49:40 Yes.
1312 00:49:41 If we claim to have a weapon,
1313 00:49:43 this might be a felony.
1314 00:49:44 Fuck.
1315 00:49:45 Okay, so you're using your hair as a mask
1316 00:49:48 and trying to rob someone with no weapon.
1317 00:49:50 'Cause the funny thing is,I actually have a weapon.
1318 00:49:53 Fuck!
1319 00:49:54 What the fuck? You have a gun!
1320 00:49:56 I keep that to protect myselffrom bad people.
1321 00:49:59 Something you guysshould be thinkin' about.
1322 00:50:00 Did the possibility of sexual assault
1323 00:50:03 ever enter your minds?
1324 00:50:05 - Not really.- Yeah, not really, I can tell.
1325 00:50:07 You were spending more timeon, like, the hair
1326 00:50:10 and that whole part of it, maybe, yeah.
1327 00:50:12 'Cause, we're, like, right by the freeway.
1328 00:50:15 I could have you across the state line
1329 00:50:16 in, like, 40 minutes,
1330 00:50:18 take you to some cabin,
1331 00:50:19 hog-tie your ankles,
1332 00:50:20 leave you in a roomwith, like, a saucer of milk
1333 00:50:22 and videotape the whole thingfor a couple days.
1334 00:50:24 - What?- What? No.
1335 00:50:26 - Think about that.- What?
1336 00:50:27 No. I'm not gonna think about...
1337 00:50:29 We just need you to give us the address
1338 00:50:30 to where you deliveredthis huge order tonight.
1339 00:50:34 Oh, shit, that...
1340 00:50:39 Okay. You know what?
1341 00:50:42 I'm gonna give you the address.
1342 00:50:43 I feel like if I don't,
1343 00:50:45 you guys are so stupid,
1344 00:50:47 some dog walker's gonna find your bodies
1345 00:50:49 tomorrow under some overpass.
1346 00:50:51 - Okay.- Whoa!
1347 00:50:52 Don't show me your pass code.
1348 00:50:54 Oh, that's fair.Okay, I'm sorry.
1349 00:50:55 That's the whole thing with pass codes.
1350 00:50:57 I'm just copying the address.
1351 00:50:58 Yeah, that's your private information.
1352 00:51:01 Thank you! Thank you so much!
1353 00:51:03 Oh, my god.
1354 00:51:05 Um...
1355 00:51:06 Quick Q.
1356 00:51:07 Now that we're already in your car,
1357 00:51:09 would you mind driving us there?
1358 00:51:12 - Yeah, why not?- Oh, great!
1359 00:51:14 I'm being sarcastic!
1360 00:51:15 - Get the fuck out of my car!- Oh, okay.
1361 00:51:17 Thank you so much for your help!
1362 00:51:18 Don't trust people.Oh, my god.
1363 00:51:21 Yes! Yes!
1364 00:51:23 Yes! Oh, my god!
1365 00:51:24 You were incredible!You were so scary!
1366 00:51:27 If you were a criminal, you'd be
1367 00:51:29 the best fucking criminal in Los Angeles.
1368 00:51:32 Okay, all right, let's call a chariot.
1369 00:51:38 Fuck, I left my phone in his car!
1370 00:51:41 Why did I have to usethe visual aid? Wait!
1371 00:51:44 It's okay. Amy! Amy!We will get it tomorrow.
1372 00:51:46 It's fine. I'll use mine.I'll use mine.
1373 00:51:49 Wha... I'm at two percent?
1374 00:51:50 Why the fuck am I at two percent?
1375 00:51:51 Why is my battery so low?
1376 00:51:53 Porn. We streamed a lot of porn.
1377 00:51:57 - Just call a Lyft.- Fuck.
1378 00:51:58 No, I can't call a Lyft,because if my phone dies
1379 00:52:01 and the driver can't contact us,we are fucked!
1380 00:52:04 Unless...
1381 00:52:09 - Pick up, pick up, pick up!- Who are you calling?
1382 00:52:11 Hi, it's Molly and Amy.
1383 00:52:12 We're at Lido's Pizzaon Victory Boulevard.
1384 00:52:13 We are stranded.Please pick us up! We need...
1385 00:52:18 It died.
1386 00:52:23 We could hitchhike.
1387 00:52:24 Are you aching to be murdered?
1388 00:52:26 Well, I'm just throwin'out suggestions here.
1389 00:52:41 You girls need a ride?
1390 00:52:45 - Shotgun.- I'll take the front.
1391 00:52:47 So cool. I'm just gonna...
1392 00:52:49 Amy, what are you doing?
1393 00:52:51 My legs are, like,half an inch longer than yours.
1394 00:52:53 Okay, you know I get car sick, Amy.
1395 00:52:54 What are you...
1396 00:52:55 If you could just let me go...
1397 00:52:57 You're embarrassing me.
1398 00:52:59 Thank you so much, Miss Fine.You totally saved us.
1399 00:53:01 Please. You two saved mefrom rewatching Gilmore Girls.
1400 00:53:04 I've seen it, like, 50 times.
1401 00:53:07 Okay, wait. So, what isthis address I'm taking you to?
1402 00:53:09 It's, uh, Nick Howland's aunt's house.
1403 00:53:11 It's a party, technically.
1404 00:53:14 You two want me to drive you
1405 00:53:15 to an unsupervised house party?
1406 00:53:17 W-Well...
1407 00:53:19 Good. I'm glad you guysare having some fun
1408 00:53:20 before graduation. Ugh.
1409 00:53:23 - Really?- Yes. Oh, my gosh, yes.
1410 00:53:26 I don't want you guys to makethe same mistake I did.
1411 00:53:28 What do you mean?
1412 00:53:29 I spent the majority of my 20s
1413 00:53:31 overcompensating for the fact
1414 00:53:32 that I never had fun in high school.
1415 00:53:34 And, you know, the pendulum then swung
1416 00:53:35 in a completely different direction.
1417 00:53:37 I mean, I went crazy.
1418 00:53:38 I had some reallydark moments there in my 20s.
1419 00:53:41 Like, some really dark moments.
1420 00:53:44 Like, It was bad.You know I'm banned from Jamba Juice?
1421 00:53:47 Not a single Jamba Juice,like, every Jamba Juice.
1422 00:53:50 That came down from corporate.
1423 00:53:51 Do you know how many Jamba Juices
1424 00:53:53 there are in this country?
1425 00:53:54 Like, a bajillion.
1426 00:53:56 It's a national chain.It's a sensation.
1427 00:53:58 I cannot have anotherMango-A-Go-Go ever again.
1428 00:54:00 But, look, I don't want that for you.
1429 00:54:02 Okay? You still have a chance.
1430 00:54:04 I want you two to go to this party,
1431 00:54:05 and I want you to have fun
1432 00:54:07 because tonight is your night.
1433 00:54:09 - Yes!- Yes.
1434 00:54:10 Okay.
1435 00:54:11 - Yes.- Yes.
1436 00:54:12 So, what are you two wearing?
1437 00:54:14 We were thinking, uh...
1438 00:54:18 Well, just this look.
1439 00:54:20 You do know you guys are matching, right?
1440 00:54:22 We added this embellishment here.
1441 00:54:26 Well, lucky for you two,
1442 00:54:28 I'm a single woman living in Los Angeles,
1443 00:54:29 so I got a lot of shit in this car.
1444 00:54:31 Why don't y'all go throughsome of those bags?
1445 00:54:34 I'm sorry.We can touch your clothes?
1446 00:54:35 Yes, please.Please touch my clothes.
1447 00:54:37 - Please get a change of clothes on.- This night.
1448 00:54:44 Whew!
1449 00:54:46 - Um... Oh...- Um...
1450 00:54:48 Mmm...
1451 00:54:51 - I have no breath.- What?
1452 00:54:52 - Excuse me?- Sorry, what, my friend?
1453 00:54:54 I have nowhere to go with this.It's too perfect.
1454 00:54:56 You are literally glowing.
1455 00:54:58 You've hit the level of perfection,
1456 00:54:59 - and now I'm just...- Be still, my heart.
1457 00:55:01 You've just come out of the water.
1458 00:55:02 You're fresh from the water.You're a mermaid. You're here.
1459 00:55:04 How are you so fucking shiny?
1460 00:55:06 Can you fetch me an inhaler?'Cause I can't breathe, Amy.
1461 00:55:08 - Um, my eyes. Ow, ow!- I'm physically unable...
1462 00:55:11 My eyes hurt so bad from your beauty.
1463 00:55:13 Um, exsqueeze me, ladies.
1464 00:55:14 - There's a party to get to.- Oh, sorry.
1465 00:55:17 All right.
1466 00:55:19 I will see you two inside,all right?
1467 00:55:20 Just kidding.Imagine if I did, though.
1468 00:55:22 She's kidding.
1469 00:55:23 Imagine if I just went in.That'd be weird, right?
1470 00:55:27 - Anyway, see y'all later.- Okay.
1471 00:55:33 Okay.
1472 00:55:41 - Love you.- Love you.
1473 00:55:48 ♪ Look at these proslook at these clothes ♪
1474 00:55:49 ♪ Look at this dough.Look at this gold... ♪
1475 00:55:53 ♪ These bitches ain't fuckin'with me killer ♪
1476 00:55:54 ♪ Look at these proslook at these clothes ♪
1477 00:55:56 ♪ Look at this dough, lookat this gold lookin' evil ♪
1478 00:55:58 ♪ Look at me thenlook at these hoes ♪
1479 00:55:59 ♪ These bitches ain't fuckin'with me killer... ♪
1480 00:57:10 Here.
1481 00:57:13 You good?
1482 00:57:14 Yeah.
1483 00:57:16 - El presidente!- And the protest lady.
1484 00:57:19 Welcome, my little turtledoves.
1485 00:57:21 How are you?
1486 00:57:23 You guys want a drink or a smoke? Nothing?
1487 00:57:25 Let me know, okay?I'm your guy tonight.
1488 00:57:28 I'll take care of you.You guys are the best.
1489 00:57:29 You guys honestly freak me out...
1490 00:57:32 but I'm gonna miss you guys.
1491 00:57:34 Okay? It's all love.
1492 00:57:36 Class of '19 for-fuckin'- ever! Whoo!
1493 00:57:41 Um...
1494 00:57:42 - Ryan. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.- Where? Where?
1495 00:57:46 Oh, god. She's glowing.
1496 00:57:48 Go get her. Hug me.
1497 00:57:51 - Okay. Get her.- Whew! Okay.
1498 00:57:52 Get her. Flick the bean.
1499 00:57:55 Molly. Here's to you, gorgeous.
1500 00:57:56 - Thank you.- Of course, of course.
1501 00:57:58 Tanner, where's the rubbing alcohol?
1502 00:58:00 There's nothing strong enough.
1503 00:58:01 - No!- Yep.
1504 00:58:03 - No.- I'm here.
1505 00:58:04 How?
1506 00:58:05 I'm gonna go downstairs.
1507 00:58:10 Bye, Gigi.
1508 00:58:17 ♪ Ay, boy,whatcha say, boy? ♪
1509 00:58:19 ♪ You tryna play coylike a Gameboy? ♪
1510 00:58:21 ♪ Hit my phone boy,is you home boy? ♪
1511 00:58:23 ♪ Are you alone boy?Come give me dome, boy... ♪
1512 00:58:25 I'm so stoked you're here, dude.
1513 00:58:26 Thanks.
1514 00:58:28 I've always wanted you to come out.
1515 00:58:30 Oh, I, I am out.
1516 00:58:33 I came outin the tenth grade.
1517 00:58:35 No. I meant, like, come out
1518 00:58:38 and hang out on the weekend.
1519 00:58:42 Oh. Right. "Hang out," yeah.
1520 00:58:44 That's, that's what I meant also.
1521 00:58:47 You need to have a little bit of fun
1522 00:58:48 before you go to Africa.
1523 00:58:50 You remembered I'm going to Africa?
1524 00:58:51 Of course. Aren't you gonna goto Uganda or something?
1525 00:58:54 Botswana.
1526 00:58:55 - They'd kill me in Uganda.- Why?
1527 00:58:57 Because that country's notreally a fan of gay people.
1528 00:59:00 Oh, shit. That's crazy.
1529 00:59:02 Would you be afraidto go to Uganda...
1530 00:59:04 Karaoke in the guest room!
1531 00:59:05 Jesus.
1532 00:59:06 God, I missed you. Fuck.
1533 00:59:09 Do you want to go do karaokein the guest room?
1534 00:59:11 - I love that girl.- Yeah.
1535 00:59:13 - Come on, let's go.- Okay.
1536 00:59:20 Uh, elbows.
1537 00:59:21 Can we get a re-rack, please?
1538 00:59:23 Holy shit.
1539 00:59:25 Wait, Molly's here?
1540 00:59:26 What a fucking complimentto get Molly to roll.
1541 00:59:29 Dude, are you actually here right now?
1542 00:59:31 Is this some mirage?
1543 00:59:32 Am I fucking losing my mind?
1544 00:59:34 Or did I actually get president Molly
1545 00:59:36 to come out on a weekend?
1546 00:59:37 It's a purely ceremonial visit.
1547 00:59:39 Okay, okay.Hey, why don't you sit here?
1548 00:59:42 Yeah, right next to me.Please, sit here and let's go.
1549 00:59:45 I've been fucking waiting for this
1550 00:59:46 since, like, seventh grade.
1551 00:59:48 - Please? It's for you.- Oh.
1552 00:59:50 This song goes out to my cast.
1553 00:59:54 ♪ I want you to know ♪
1554 00:59:59 ♪ That I am happy for you ♪
1555 01:00:02 Shh!
1556 01:00:04 ♪ I wish nothing but ♪
1557 01:00:08 ♪ The best for you both ♪
1558 01:00:12 ♪ An older version like me,is she perverted like me? ♪
1559 01:00:16 ♪ Would she go down on you in... ♪
1560 01:00:23 Miss Fine.
1561 01:00:25 Miss... Fine.
1562 01:00:29 Senora Fine.
1563 01:00:32 You ever made love to a Mexican?
1564 01:00:34 Hey, come here.
1565 01:00:38 Hey, listen, this pong
1566 01:00:39 is actually supposed to be my thing.
1567 01:00:41 So, if you could just tone it down
1568 01:00:42 for my sake, my self-esteem?
1569 01:00:43 No, I think you just haveto step up your game.
1570 01:00:46 You just have to rise to my level.
1571 01:00:48 It's not my fault.
1572 01:00:49 "To her level."
1573 01:00:51 It's crazy we haven't hung out
1574 01:00:52 outside of school before, you know?
1575 01:00:54 I used to think you wereall work and no play...
1576 01:00:57 but you're actually pretty fun.
1577 01:01:00 I... I am fun.
1578 01:01:04 Okay.
1579 01:01:12 Hi, Miss Fine.
1580 01:01:14 Hi, Theo.
1581 01:01:15 ♪ No! ♪
1582 01:01:18 ♪ And every time you speak her name ♪
1583 01:01:20 ♪ Does she know that you told me ♪
1584 01:01:21 ♪ You'd hold me until you died? ♪
1585 01:01:24 ♪ Till you died, but you're still alive ♪
1586 01:01:26 ♪ And I'm here to remind you ♪
1587 01:01:31 ♪ Of the mess you leftwhen you went away ♪
1588 01:01:35 - ♪ It's not fair ♪- Woo-hoo!
1589 01:01:38 ♪ To deny me ♪
1590 01:01:40 ♪ Of the cross I bearthat you gave to me ♪
1591 01:01:44 ♪ You, you, you oughta know, Alan ♪
1592 01:01:56 This is amazing.
1593 01:01:58 You're amazing.
1594 01:02:00 You're 20, right?
1595 01:02:02 Yeah.
1596 01:02:07 You got a mic. You gotta sing.
1597 01:02:09 - No.- Please.
1598 01:02:10 - No.- Come on. Please?
1599 01:02:13 Do it for me.Come on, Amy. Come on.
1600 01:02:14 - For you, I...- For me.
1601 01:02:16 Um...
1602 01:02:24 ♪ And I'm here to remind you ♪
1603 01:02:29 ♪ Of the mess you leftwhen you went away ♪
1604 01:02:33 ♪ It's not fair ♪
1605 01:02:36 You can tell she's not supporting,
1606 01:02:37 no breath control, but it's good.
1607 01:02:39 - It's on pitch. Yeah, yeah.- I support you.
1608 01:02:41 ♪ That you gave to me ♪
1609 01:02:42 ♪ You, you, you oughta know ♪
1610 01:02:45 Oh, my god!
1611 01:02:48 - Okay. Ready?- Mm-hmm.
1612 01:02:50 Fuckin'...
1613 01:02:55 - Of course.- Nick. You need more... Oh.
1614 01:02:58 - Are you okay?- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1615 01:03:00 You need more of the arc.
1616 01:03:01 Like, no, too much flick.Like... whoo.
1617 01:03:03 See, well, that's easy for you to say
1618 01:03:05 when you're, like,three feet tall, all right?
1619 01:03:07 I'm looking straight down at it.
1620 01:03:08 How tall are you?
1621 01:03:11 Well, how tall do you think I am?
1622 01:03:24 5'4"?
1623 01:03:26 Listen, my teammatesusually aren't this mean.
1624 01:03:29 Oh, no, no, no.They're usually blonde
1625 01:03:30 and skinny, and they don't drink carbs.
1626 01:03:32 Uh, no, no way, okay?I fuck with Hufflepuffs.
1627 01:03:36 Hufflepuff, like Harry Potter?
1628 01:03:38 Yeah. I mean, what are you, like a...
1629 01:03:42 half-Slytherin, half-Ravenclaw, yeah?
1630 01:03:47 That is exactly what I am.
1631 01:03:50 Yeah, you are.
1632 01:03:54 Oh, fuck. Okay, see,
1633 01:03:55 I gotta go take care of them,make sure they don't kill themselves.
1634 01:03:58 But hey, you stay right here, yeah?
1635 01:03:59 - Yeah.- Okay, you don't move.
1636 01:04:00 I'll come back a moment, okay.Don't move.
1637 01:04:02 - I'm not gonna move.- Right? Don't move.
1638 01:04:03 - I'm not gonna move.- Yeah?
1639 01:04:04 I feel like you're gonna move.Don't move.
1640 01:04:06 No, I'm not... You know what,I'm not gonna move.
1641 01:04:08 - Don't move.- Okay.
1642 01:04:23 ♪ Don't hold back, I want to break free ♪
1643 01:04:26 ♪ God is singing through your body ♪
1644 01:04:29 ♪ And I'm carried by the sound ♪
1645 01:04:34 ♪ Every drum, every single beat ♪
1646 01:04:37 ♪ They were born from your body ♪
1647 01:04:39 ♪ And I'm carried by the sound ♪
1648 01:04:44 ♪ Oh, ooh, love ♪
1649 01:04:47 ♪ They'll never break the shape we take ♪
1650 01:04:51 ♪ Oh, ooh ♪
1651 01:04:53 ♪ Baby, let all them voices slip away ♪
1652 01:05:05 ♪ Don't look back, I want to break free ♪
1653 01:05:09 ♪ If you'll never see 'em coming ♪
1654 01:05:11 ♪ You'll never have to hide ♪
1655 01:05:16 ♪ Take my hand, take my everything ♪
1656 01:05:19 ♪ If we only got a moment ♪
1657 01:05:22 ♪ Give it to me now ♪
1658 01:05:25 ♪ Oh, ooh, love ♪
1659 01:05:27 ♪ They'll never break the shape we take ♪
1660 01:05:31 ♪ Oh, ooh ♪
1661 01:05:33 ♪ Baby, let all them voices slip away ♪
1662 01:05:42 ♪ No caressing, no caressing ♪
1663 01:05:46 ♪ No caressing... ♪
1664 01:05:50 ♪ Oh, ooh, love ♪
1665 01:05:52 ♪ They'll never break the shape we take ♪
1666 01:05:55 ♪ Oh, ooh, no, love ♪
1667 01:05:59 ♪ They'll never break the shape we take ♪
1668 01:06:02 ♪ Oh, ooh ♪
1669 01:06:05 ♪ Baby, let all them voices slip away ♪
1670 01:08:03 Oh, my god, there you are.
1671 01:08:05 How's it going?Did you find Ryan?
1672 01:08:06 Did you guys go in the pool?What's going on?
1673 01:08:08 Molly...
1674 01:08:09 Things are going so well over here.Like, really, really, really well.
1675 01:08:12 I'm being so mean to him,but it's working.
1676 01:08:13 We talked about Harry Potter.He knows I'm a Slytherin.
1677 01:08:16 - He seems to like it.- I think we should go home.
1678 01:08:17 Wait, what? No.Ju-just dry off.
1679 01:08:20 No, I think we need to leave.Come on, let's go.
1680 01:08:22 No, are you nuts?No, he... Nick is fully...
1681 01:08:24 - No.- He's fully flirting with me.
1682 01:08:26 This actually might happen.
1683 01:08:27 Listen to me,this actually might happen.
1684 01:08:29 No, no, Molly, please, I'm asking you.Let's just go.
1685 01:08:31 Ame, just go find Ryan.It'll be great.
1686 01:08:32 Malala!
1687 01:08:35 Amy, no.
1688 01:08:38 - Are you kidding?- No, I'm...
1689 01:08:40 I've done whatever you wanted all night.
1690 01:08:42 And I'm calling Malala, so come with me.
1691 01:08:44 No, I'm not leaving just becauseyou're doing the thing that you always do.
1692 01:08:48 What is that supposed to mean?
1693 01:08:50 Just, you... you talk a big game
1694 01:08:53 and then you give upjust when things get uncomfortable.
1695 01:08:55 Like, you jumped in the pool,
1696 01:08:56 and now you're sadthat you're wet? Like...
1697 01:08:58 That's bullshit, Moll.That's bullshit.
1698 01:09:00 If I didn't drag you to do things, Amy,you just wouldn't do them.
1699 01:09:03 You don't drag me,
1700 01:09:04 you force me to do whatever you wanna do.
1701 01:09:07 What does that even mean?
1702 01:09:08 You decide what we do and when we do it,
1703 01:09:12 and that we always haveto do it together all the time.
1704 01:09:13 Yeah, I have to decide
1705 01:09:15 because you literally decide nothing.
1706 01:09:16 Like, I do all the heavy liftingin our friendship.
1707 01:09:18 - You never take charge.- I take charge all the time!
1708 01:09:21 You never take charge.I always have to push you.
1709 01:09:24 Without me, you wouldn't do anything.
1710 01:09:25 I'm going to Africa without you.
1711 01:09:28 Yeah, I encouraged your summer abroad.
1712 01:09:29 I'm not going for the summer.
1713 01:09:32 I'm going for the entire year.
1714 01:09:37 What?
1715 01:09:40 I'm taking a gap year.
1716 01:09:42 I deferred Columbia until next fall.
1717 01:09:45 - When did you decide that?- When I applied.
1718 01:09:49 In January?You've been lying to me since January?
1719 01:09:52 Yeah, because I knew if I told you,
1720 01:09:53 you'd bully me into staying.
1721 01:09:55 So, all our schedules aregonna be off now.
1722 01:09:57 We're not gonna graduate together,
1723 01:09:59 we're not gonna goon a post-college trip together,
1724 01:10:00 We're not gonna move to DC together?Our whole plan...
1725 01:10:03 That was your plan!That was never my plan.
1726 01:10:05 - It's always your plan, Moll.- I can't believe you.
1727 01:10:07 You think that going to Africa makesyou tough,
1728 01:10:09 and you weren't even fucking brave enoughto tell me about it!
1729 01:10:12 You're a fucking coward, Amy!
1730 01:10:13 You're selfish and mean!
1731 01:10:15 You're a bad friend!
1732 01:10:16 You're a fucking bad friend...
1733 01:11:07 What the fuck?
1734 01:11:10 I locked that.
1735 01:11:16 Well, I guess you didn't.
1736 01:11:19 What's wrong with you?Fight with your wife?
1737 01:11:21 Can you please just leave me alone?
1738 01:11:25 Why are you even at a party?
1739 01:11:26 Shouldn't you be, like, marching
1740 01:11:28 in some meaningless protest somewhere
1741 01:11:30 or, I don't know,in your bed doing homework?
1742 01:11:33 You don't even know me.
1743 01:11:34 Pretty sure I do.
1744 01:11:35 No. You're just one of those people
1745 01:11:37 who claims they're honest
1746 01:11:39 or calling people on their shit
1747 01:11:40 when you're really just mean.
1748 01:11:45 Wow.
1749 01:11:48 Wow, I take it back.
1750 01:11:54 You are a badass...
1751 01:11:57 who takes no prisoners...
1752 01:12:01 and cries in the bathroom at parties.
1753 01:12:10 Why are you so cruel?
1754 01:12:13 I just don't like meek people.
1755 01:12:16 And you...
1756 01:12:18 you're like Molly's little sidekick bitch.
1757 01:12:21 Well, you're just a basic hot girl
1758 01:12:23 who's gonna peak in high school.
1759 01:12:54 When did you get here?
1760 01:12:57 A while ago.
1761 01:12:58 See Amy? She fucking freaked out at me.I don't know what's wrong with her.
1762 01:13:02 Do people really thinkI had sex with a prostitute?
1763 01:13:08 You didn't?
1764 01:13:09 No.
1765 01:13:11 Of course not. I...
1766 01:13:14 I haven't slept with anybody.
1767 01:13:20 No one in this entire schoolknows me at all.
1768 01:13:25 - Except Gigi.- I'm a golden starfish!
1769 01:13:31 Gigi, the girl who jumped off your boat
1770 01:13:34 and gave you a prison tatwhile you were sleeping?
1771 01:13:36 Oh, that wasn't about me.
1772 01:13:39 She's a sad person, you know?
1773 01:13:41 And yeah, she may be a little nuts but...
1774 01:13:46 she's the most loyal person I've ever met.
1775 01:13:48 I mean, she once tried to shiv our mailman
1776 01:13:50 because she thought he laughed at me.
1777 01:13:53 Turns out, he wasn't.I mean, he wasn't laughing at me at all,
1778 01:13:55 he was just lookingat a meme on his phone.
1779 01:13:58 Plus, not everyone's lucky enough
1780 01:14:00 to find someone like you and Amy.
1781 01:14:01 I'm just doing my best,
1782 01:14:03 so I can get out of here...
1783 01:14:05 and find some people who are intothe same weird shit I'm into.
1784 01:14:09 Not, like, sex stuff.I mean, like, you know...
1785 01:14:12 airplanes and musicals.
1786 01:14:14 What?
1787 01:14:16 I wanna design fucking airplanes.
1788 01:14:19 Yeah. Get rich off that,
1789 01:14:20 then use the cashto produce some new musicals.
1790 01:14:22 Enough with the revivals already.It's total bullshit.
1791 01:14:24 Audiences deservesomething original, I think.
1792 01:14:28 I don't know.
1793 01:14:30 I should probably go make sure that's notan actual dead man's float.
1794 01:14:37 Well, see you at graduation, Molly.
1795 01:14:56 Whoa.
1796 01:15:01 - Are you okay?- Um... Yeah, sorry, just...
1797 01:15:06 Just got a little dizzyfor a second there.
1798 01:15:07 - Um...- We can stop if you want.
1799 01:15:09 No. We are not stopping.
1800 01:15:11 Okay.
1801 01:15:13 ♪ 'Cause we aiming for the stars ♪
1802 01:15:14 ♪ With a point and hollow ♪
1803 01:15:19 ♪ I'm feeling these songs... ♪
1804 01:15:21 Sorry.
1805 01:15:25 ♪ I started this jobselling rocks and arrows... ♪
1806 01:15:28 Oh, sorry.
1807 01:15:30 Whoa.
1808 01:15:31 - Are you okay?- Yeah.
1809 01:15:32 - Oh, my god.- Ugh.
1810 01:15:38 ♪ Welcome to the daysof the broke and shallow... ♪
1811 01:15:49 I should probably take off mine, too.
1812 01:15:53 Yeah.
1813 01:15:57 ♪ The minute I know ♪
1814 01:16:00 ♪ The time we spent in came corrected... ♪
1815 01:16:05 It's a nice dress.
1816 01:16:06 It's all she had.
1817 01:16:09 Miss Fine.
1818 01:16:11 Oh, my god.Of course.
1819 01:16:21 ♪ Matter over mind if we're being honest ♪
1820 01:16:28 ♪ But you wander through your thoughts ♪
1821 01:16:29 ♪ Like a broken promise ♪
1822 01:16:34 ♪ In it for the monetary growth... ♪
1823 01:16:38 Um...
1824 01:16:40 How is that for you?
1825 01:16:43 Um, it's okay.
1826 01:16:46 Is-is there reallyanother way you would prefer,
1827 01:16:48 or is this, like...
1828 01:16:50 Um...
1829 01:16:52 I don't think that's the holeyou think it is.
1830 01:16:55 - Oh, my god.- No, it's okay.
1831 01:16:57 - Oh, my god. I'm so sorry.- No, it's okay.
1832 01:16:59 Oh, my god. I just...
1833 01:17:01 I'm not used to approaching itfrom that angle
1834 01:17:03 and my geometry was off, and...
1835 01:17:04 Seriously, don't worry about it.
1836 01:17:06 I'm sorry.
1837 01:17:19 Are... are you good?
1838 01:17:23 Oh, my god. What the...
1839 01:17:25 What the fuck? Oh!
1840 01:17:28 - I am so sorry.- What the fuck?
1841 01:17:30 Oh, my god, I'm so sorry.I'm so sorry.
1842 01:17:32 - Ew!- Um...
1843 01:17:34 Ar-are you okay?
1844 01:17:35 Amy, just go.
1845 01:17:38 Please go.
1846 01:17:41 Please fucking leave.
1847 01:17:43 Sorry, I'm going as fast as I can.
1848 01:17:44 Go!
1849 01:17:52 ♪ I'm a fool for that shakein your thighs ♪
1850 01:17:57 ♪ I'm a fool for that soundin your sighs ♪
1851 01:18:02 ♪ I'm a fool for your belly ♪
1852 01:18:07 ♪ I'm a fool for your love ♪
1853 01:18:12 ♪ I want to make this play ♪
1854 01:18:15 ♪ Oh, I know you're faded ♪
1855 01:18:17 ♪ Hmm, but stay ♪
1856 01:18:20 ♪ Don't close your hands ♪
1857 01:18:23 ♪ I want to make this play ♪
1858 01:18:25 ♪ Oh, I know you're faded... ♪
1859 01:18:27 Hey, have you guys seen Amy?
1860 01:18:29 - No.- No.
1861 01:18:34 What? Wait.
1862 01:18:36 Whoa!
1863 01:18:38 Amy! Amy! Amy!
1864 01:18:40 We're fucking sitting ducks.
1865 01:18:42 They're gonna come in here.They're gonna find us.
1866 01:18:44 Shut the fuck up, Rob.
1867 01:18:54 I am not a coward.
1868 01:18:59 All right, focus up.
1869 01:19:01 Wait for my signal.I'm gonna create a diversion.
1870 01:19:07 What?
1871 01:19:37 No.
1872 01:19:39 Really?
1873 01:19:43 ♪ Oh baby ♪
1874 01:19:49 ♪ Oh baby ♪
1875 01:19:54 ♪ You're having a bad dream ♪
1876 01:19:59 ♪ Here in my arms ♪
1877 01:20:07 You know this is why people say
1878 01:20:09 I gave guys "roadside assistance," right?
1879 01:20:13 I gave them a ride home, that's all.
1880 01:20:20 Okay, that's not true.I blew them.
1881 01:20:21 But it's not like they ran out of gas
1882 01:20:23 and I showed up to suck their dickwhile they waited for help.
1883 01:20:25 We hooked up in their car.
1884 01:20:27 It makes sense to hook up in a car.
1885 01:20:28 I'm not gonna, like,suck a dick at my own home
1886 01:20:31 where my father can walk inat any moment.
1887 01:20:33 Also, I wanna enjoy it.Fucking sue me.
1888 01:20:37 That makes a lot of sense.
1889 01:20:47 You knowwhat the worst part is?
1890 01:20:50 All the fucking girls call me that, too.
1891 01:20:55 I knew, like, Ben and Maxand Dick Splinter
1892 01:20:58 would say stupid shit.
1893 01:21:04 I just...I didn't think the girls would, too.
1894 01:21:09 Amy never called you that.
1895 01:21:14 I'm sorry.I'm genuinely sorry.
1896 01:21:19 Just, like, please don't call me"Triple A" at Yale next year.
1897 01:21:24 I just want people to knowmy real name.
1898 01:21:26 Of course, Annabel.
1899 01:21:29 Fuck... No!Not right now.
1900 01:21:31 I'm sorry. That was bad.
1901 01:21:32 - That wasn't my best.- Come on. Jesus Christ.
1902 01:21:34 That was embarrassing for me.
1903 01:21:35 I'm sorry for that, too.
1904 01:21:41 Wait, where the fuck do you live?
1905 01:22:10 Fuck!
1906 01:22:16 What?
1907 01:22:22 All right. Well, just so you know,I know my rights.
1908 01:22:24 Oh, my god.
1909 01:22:26 There are more prisons than colleges
1910 01:22:27 in the United States.
1911 01:22:28 - Did you know that?- Is that right?
1912 01:22:30 And it costs $71,000
1913 01:22:31 to house an inmate in California.
1914 01:22:33 - That's more than Harvard.- Yeah.
1915 01:22:35 Well, this seems excessive. Shotgun.
1916 01:22:37 Just kidding.I don't have one.
1917 01:23:04 Oh, I'm actually here for someone else.I'm so sorry.
1918 01:23:07 My mistake. My mistake.
1919 01:23:08 - My mistake.- Oh, my god.
1920 01:23:10 Fuck you, dude.
1921 01:23:12 Dude, you're in full-on jail.
1922 01:23:15 Yeah, I know.
1923 01:23:17 I'm so sorry.
1924 01:23:20 I mean, it's okay.
1925 01:23:21 I'm gonna have to pay a fine
1926 01:23:23 and go before the judge,but we both know...
1927 01:23:25 No, I'm sorry.
1928 01:23:27 I know women apologize too much,
1929 01:23:29 but in this case,I have so much to be sorry for.
1930 01:23:31 I was so selfish.
1931 01:23:32 I-I was being a coward.
1932 01:23:33 You called Malala.
1933 01:23:35 I lied to you, Moll.
1934 01:23:36 You were trying to save mefrom seeing Nick rub
1935 01:23:37 his boner all up against Ryan.
1936 01:23:40 Oh, my god,can you believe that, by the way?
1937 01:23:42 No. Honestly? No.
1938 01:23:43 I would've guessed that Nickhooked up with Theo
1939 01:23:45 before I would have guessedhe hooked up with Ryan.
1940 01:23:47 Nick and Theo do have great chemistry.
1941 01:23:49 Divine. I mean, it's palpable.
1942 01:23:54 I'm sorry I'm so controlling.
1943 01:23:58 I just can't imagine my life without you.
1944 01:24:05 You are the motherfucker who got arrested
1945 01:24:06 the night before graduation.
1946 01:24:08 Oh, my god! Graduation.
1947 01:24:10 Molly, what time is it?You have to go.
1948 01:24:12 Yeah, why do you think I'm here?
1949 01:24:13 You're coming with me.
1950 01:24:14 Dude, no. I am screwed.I can't leave.
1951 01:24:17 - You have to go.- Amy.
1952 01:24:18 I am not graduating without you.
1953 01:24:20 So, either I get arrestedand I join you in there
1954 01:24:23 or we go together.
1955 01:24:24 How?
1956 01:24:28 We're gonna tradesome information,
1957 01:24:31 because we have seen this man.
1958 01:24:33 What?
1959 01:24:34 - Is that Jared's car?- I'll explain later.
1960 01:24:37 - Am I driving?- Of course you're driving.
1961 01:24:38 - Need this?- No, that was my fault!
1962 01:24:40 Go!
1963 01:24:41 Okay, Waze says 19 minutes.We're doing it in seven.
1964 01:24:43 Let's fuckin' do this.
1965 01:24:52 ♪ Picture thisI'm a bag of dicks ♪
1966 01:24:53 ♪ Put me to your lipsI am sick ♪
1967 01:24:55 ♪ I will punch a baby bear ♪
1968 01:24:57 ♪ In his shitgive me lip... ♪
1969 01:25:03 Uh...
1970 01:25:05 Hey, guys, let's go ahead and take a seat.
1971 01:25:08 Stop.
1972 01:25:16 Ooh.
1973 01:25:17 Hey, Evelyn.
1974 01:25:19 Um... I just wanted to say...
1975 01:25:23 have a great summer.
1976 01:25:24 That's what the kids are doing,right?
1977 01:25:27 Have a great...
1978 01:25:29 All right. Cool.Cool, cool, cool. Sickening.
1979 01:25:32 Morning, my queen.
1980 01:25:34 Hi.
1981 01:25:35 So, last night was amazing.
1982 01:25:37 Can I see you again?
1983 01:25:43 Mmm...
1984 01:25:45 Good luck at Google next year, okay.
1985 01:25:47 Okay.
1986 01:25:48 Bye.
1987 01:25:50 Bye.
1988 01:25:53 Did you fuck Miss Fine?
1989 01:25:58 ♪...little wenchI'm unmentionably fresh ♪
1990 01:26:00 ♪ I'm a mensch, get correct ♪
1991 01:26:02 ♪ I will walk into a court ♪
1992 01:26:03 ♪ While erect,screaming "Yes... ♪
1993 01:26:06 Ha-has anybody seen, uh, Molly?
1994 01:26:08 'Cause we gotta get started.She kicks it off. Huh? Nobody?
1995 01:26:11 'Cause I haven't seen hereither since yesterday
1996 01:26:13 when we were at school, all of us.
1997 01:26:14 We were at school together.
1998 01:26:16 So, Molly actually warned meshe might be a little late
1999 01:26:17 and tapped me to start her speech.
2000 01:26:19 Wait, wait, Molly Davidson's gonna be late
2001 01:26:20 - to graduation?- Yeah.
2002 01:26:21 Okay, that doesn't sound like her.
2003 01:26:22 Right. Well, uh,
2004 01:26:24 she also asked me to remind you that...
2005 01:26:26 um...
2006 01:26:28 um... I got it. Uh...
2007 01:26:30 "this sort of thing happens all the time
2008 01:26:31 "on the senate floor,
2009 01:26:33 "and if a senator isn'tpresent for a vote..."
2010 01:26:34 - Okay. Okay.- "...a proxy..."
2011 01:26:36 Great. Okay, that does sound like her.
2012 01:26:38 "...for the vote to take place..."
2013 01:26:39 - "...in his or her absence."- I got it. Okay, so...
2014 01:26:41 Okay, so she tapped you?
2015 01:26:42 - Tapped me.- Okay.
2016 01:26:45 Yeah, fuck it.I approve. You're up.
2017 01:26:46 - You're gonna kick it off.- Okay.
2018 01:26:48 - Oh.- Okay. There he goes.
2019 01:26:50 Yeah, yeah.Shantay, you stay, honey!
2020 01:26:51 Oh, Jared!
2021 01:26:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2022 01:26:55 Look at you.
2023 01:27:05 Good morning.
2024 01:27:06 Good morning.
2025 01:27:10 "I'm Molly Davidson."
2026 01:27:13 ♪ Hey, you wanna hear a good joke? ♪
2027 01:27:16 ♪ Nobody speak,nobody get choked ♪
2028 01:27:24 "I am a woman.
2029 01:27:25 - I am a powerful woman."- My boy!
2030 01:27:27 "And I'm ready to take the fists
2031 01:27:29 "of my femininity to the status quo.
2032 01:27:31 straight white man, your time is..."
2033 01:27:36 Okay.
2034 01:27:49 Oh, my god.My car is fucked up.
2035 01:28:05 All right.I'm gonna go take my seat.
2036 01:28:07 Come on up. Come.
2037 01:28:08 Look who made it!
2038 01:28:10 Whoo!
2039 01:28:12 Amy!
2040 01:28:16 Whoo!
2041 01:28:44 Thank you.
2042 01:28:51 Okay. Looks like Jared dida pretty good job.
2043 01:28:55 Yes, he did! Yes, he did.
2044 01:29:01 I...
2045 01:29:05 I was so... scared of you,
2046 01:29:09 I felt like I had to provethat I was better than you.
2047 01:29:12 But really, I don't knowany more than you guys.
2048 01:29:16 All I know isthat we have a lot more to learn.
2049 01:29:25 'Cause this part's over...
2050 01:29:27 and that's so sad.
2051 01:29:30 It was great, wasn't it?
2052 01:29:34 Things are never gonna be the same,but it was perfect.
2053 01:29:41 And I may not have before,but I see you now.
2054 01:29:46 And you're all pretty great.
2055 01:29:49 Don't let college fuck it up.
2056 01:29:52 Congratulations, guys.
2057 01:30:05 Okay, okay.
2058 01:30:08 That went over,
2059 01:30:10 but I will not be cutting downmy allotted time.
2060 01:30:13 Gigi, hit the track.
2061 01:30:18 ♪ Crockett... ♪
2062 01:30:19 - That's pretty good.- Oh, you know what's good?
2063 01:30:21 If you roll these,and then you'll have more room.
2064 01:30:24 Oh, probably not rolling, though...
2065 01:30:26 - Well, why does it have to be...- Oh!
2066 01:30:28 Look! Oh, god, you're bringing Lingling.
2067 01:30:31 - Well...- Oh, Lingling.
2068 01:30:33 - Um...- No.
2069 01:30:34 Please be good to my Amy.
2070 01:30:36 All right. I gotta pack up.
2071 01:30:37 Make her feel like she's not so lonely.
2072 01:30:39 Make her feel good.
2073 01:30:40 I gotta put that in the old suitcase.
2074 01:30:42 Amy, make it stop.
2075 01:30:43 Please don't put your face on the face.
2076 01:30:45 Make it stop.
2077 01:30:46 - Not the nose.- On the head.
2078 01:30:48 - On the neck.- Make it stop.
2079 01:30:49 Hey, Amy, there's...
2080 01:30:50 Look who she's bringing.
2081 01:30:51 - Okay.- Lingling?
2082 01:30:53 - No. No. No...- Oh, let me get in there.
2083 01:31:01 Uh... Amy, there's, uh,someone here to see you.
2084 01:31:05 - Hmm?- Who?
2085 01:31:07 What?
2086 01:31:09 - Why is she here?- Oh. Excuse me.
2087 01:31:12 Amy!
2088 01:31:13 Why is she here?
2089 01:31:27 - Hey.- Hey.
2090 01:31:29 I figured I'd bring back your clothes.
2091 01:31:31 Oh. Thanks so much.
2092 01:31:34 I don't usually leave my underwear
2093 01:31:37 in places that aren't my room.
2094 01:31:41 Yeah, I figured.
2095 01:31:44 So, um...
2096 01:31:46 ho-how...
2097 01:31:48 Are you okay?
2098 01:31:51 Yeah, I'm fine.
2099 01:31:54 Are you okay?
2100 01:31:55 Yeah, I...
2101 01:31:58 You know, prison kinda changes you.
2102 01:32:01 - Hmm.- But, uh...
2103 01:32:04 I'm fine.
2104 01:32:05 Sorry, I just really don't know
2105 01:32:07 what I'm doing with all that stuff yet.
2106 01:32:09 Well, for someone who hasno idea what they're doing...
2107 01:32:16 you kinda know what you're doing.
2108 01:32:20 That's...
2109 01:32:24 Ah.
2110 01:32:25 Um, that's cool.
2111 01:32:28 So, how is your summer going?
2112 01:32:33 I mean, what are you doingfor the summertime?
2113 01:32:39 Think I'm gonna backpack around for a bit.
2114 01:32:42 - Really?- Yeah.
2115 01:32:43 - Where?- I don't know.
2116 01:32:45 Honestly, anywhere I can finda couch to crash on.
2117 01:32:48 I just, you know, wanna seesome stuff before college.
2118 01:32:52 That's really cool. Me, too.
2119 01:32:54 That's why I'm taking a gap year.
2120 01:32:56 - Yeah?- Yeah. Yeah.
2121 01:32:59 All right, well, uh, have fun, nerd.
2122 01:33:11 Um, well, if youever end up in Botswana,
2123 01:33:15 you would have a couch to crash on.
2124 01:33:17 Okay.
2125 01:33:20 Well, technically, it won't be my couch,
2126 01:33:23 'cause I'll be staying with a family,but I'm sure they'll be cool with it.
2127 01:33:25 Okay.
2128 01:33:35 Yes! Yes!
2129 01:33:39 Molly!
2130 01:33:40 Amy, this thing drives like a cruise ship.
2131 01:33:43 Well, it's yours now.
2132 01:33:46 Take care of the old Volvo for me.
2133 01:33:48 Oh, speaking of vulva,
2134 01:33:49 remember when you missed Hope's,
2135 01:33:51 and you just wentstraight for that butt hole?
2136 01:33:53 I said, I said once a day.
2137 01:33:55 - Hey, I have to stock up...- Once a day.
2138 01:33:57 ...because you're gonna be on a flight
2139 01:33:59 for, like, 28 hours.
2140 01:34:01 So, I have to stock up.
2141 01:34:02 It's not my fault.
2142 01:34:14 Yeah, it feels weirdto be on this side of the car.
2143 01:34:16 It's like everything's different.
2144 01:34:21 Yeah, I can't believeI'm not gonna see you tomorrow.
2145 01:34:23 Call me on that weirdinternational flip phone, okay?
2146 01:34:26 I will.
2147 01:34:28 Okay.
2148 01:34:30 - Bye. I love you.- Bye.
2149 01:34:31 Love you.
2150 01:34:34 - Bye.- Go make those tampons, girl.
2151 01:34:36 I will. I...
2152 01:34:38 - Bye.- Bye.
2153 01:34:47 - Oh, gotta get that bag.- Yep. Gotta...
2154 01:34:49 It's a long trip.
2155 01:34:51 Go get 'em.
2156 01:34:54 What's a year?
2157 01:34:57 Okay.
2158 01:35:02 ♪ Whoa, my love ♪
2159 01:35:09 ♪ My darling ♪
2160 01:35:12 ♪ I've hungered for your touch ♪
2161 01:35:19 ♪ A long, lonely time ♪
2162 01:35:30 ♪ And time ♪
2163 01:35:33 ♪ Goes by ♪
2164 01:35:36 ♪ So slowly ♪
2165 01:35:40 ♪ And time can do so much... ♪
2166 01:35:47 - Oh! Fuck!- Fuck!
2167 01:35:49 What the fuck is wrong with you?
2168 01:35:51 I was going through a thing.
2169 01:35:54 I was going througha whole fucking thing.
2170 01:35:58 What the fuck?
2171 01:35:59 I can be the last one on the plane.
2172 01:36:01 What is wrong with you?
2173 01:36:02 You wanna get pancakes?
2174 01:36:03 Fuck, yeah, I do.Fuck, yeah!
2175 01:36:17 ♪ Get running, start pumpingyour bunions, I'm coming ♪
2176 01:36:20 ♪ I'm the dumbest,who flamethrow ♪
2177 01:36:22 ♪ Your function to Funyuns ♪
2178 01:36:23 ♪ Flame your crew quickerthan Trump fucks his youngest ♪
2179 01:36:26 ♪ Now face the flame, fuckers,your fame and fate's done with ♪
2180 01:36:29 ♪ I rob Charlie Brown,Peppermint Patty ♪
2181 01:36:31 ♪ Linus and Lucy ♪
2182 01:36:32 ♪ Put coke in the doobie ♪
2183 01:36:34 ♪ Roll woolies to smokewith Snoopy ♪
2184 01:36:35 ♪ I still remain thatdick-grabbin' slacker ♪
2185 01:36:37 ♪ That spit a loogie ♪
2186 01:36:38 ♪ 'Cause the toterof the toolie'll ♪
2187 01:36:40 ♪ Murder you friggin' Moolies ♪
2188 01:36:42 ♪ Fuck outta here, yeah ♪
2189 01:36:52 ♪ Nobody speaknobody get choked, hey ♪
2190 01:36:58 ♪ Nobody speaknobody get choked, hey ♪
2191 01:37:02 ♪ Nobody speak ♪
2192 01:37:05 ♪ Nobody speak ♪
2193 01:37:12 ♪ Only facts, I will shoot a ♪
2194 01:37:14 ♪ Baby duck if it quackswith a Luger ♪
2195 01:37:16 ♪ Top billin', come copssome villainous shots is boxed ♪
2196 01:37:19 ♪ Shipped out, and boughtand y'all feeling it ♪
2197 01:37:21 ♪ El-P killin' it,Killer Mike killin' shit ♪
2198 01:37:24 ♪ What more can I say?We top billin' it ♪
2199 01:37:27 ♪ Valiant without villainyViciously foul victory ♪
2200 01:37:30 ♪ Burn towns and villages ♪
2201 01:37:32 ♪ Burning, looting,and pillaging ♪
2202 01:37:33 ♪ Murderers try to hurt us ♪
2203 01:37:35 ♪ We curse themand all their children ♪
2204 01:37:36 ♪ I just want the bread andbologna bundles to tuck away ♪
2205 01:37:39 ♪ I don't work for freeI am barely giving a fuck away ♪
2206 01:37:42 ♪ So tell beggin' Johnny andMommy to get the fuck away ♪
2207 01:37:45 ♪ Heyyo here's a gun, son,now run, get it the gutterway ♪
2208 01:37:59 ♪ Nobody speaknobody get choked, hey ♪
2209 01:38:05 ♪ Nobody speaknobody get choked, hey ♪
2210 01:38:09 ♪ Nobody speak ♪
2211 01:38:12 ♪ Nobody speak ♪
2212 01:38:17 ♪ Nobody speaknobody get choked ♪
2213 01:41:52 ♪ Crockett, Crockett ♪
2214 01:41:55 ♪ We will rock it ♪
2215 01:41:57 ♪ Crockett, Crockett,hide it in your pocket ♪
2216 01:42:01 ♪ Crockett, Crockett, Crockett ♪
2217 01:42:03 ♪ Crockett, Crockett ♪
2218 01:42:10 Enhanced by Point.360
