史泰登岛国王(The King of Staten Island)(EN)Subtitles

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1 00:00:55 I'm just what you made, God
2 00:00:56 Not many I trust
3 00:00:58 I'm-a go my own way, God
4 00:01:00 Take my fate to wherever you want
5 00:01:01 I'm out here, on my son
6 00:01:03 Won't stop till I get me some
7 00:01:04 Club hopping, trying to get me some
8 00:01:06 Bad bitches wanna get me sprung
9 00:01:09 Early in the morning, I'm waking, baking
10 00:01:10 Drinking, contemplating
11 00:01:12 Ain't no such thing as Satan
12 00:01:14 Evil is what you make it
13 00:01:15 Thank the Lord for that burning bush
14 00:01:16 That big-body Benz I was born to push
15 00:01:18 On my way, I'm burning kush
16 00:01:20 Nigga, don't be worried 'bout us
17 00:01:22 Neighbors knocking on the door
18 00:01:24 Asking can we turn it down...
19 00:01:25 Jesus!
20 00:01:28 Ain't no music...
21 00:01:33 - I - I need
22 00:01:34 Need smoke
23 00:01:37 Whoa, whoa, whoa
24 00:01:38 I need
25 00:01:39 I...
26 00:01:40 Sorry. I'm sorry.
27 00:01:43 To smoke
28 00:01:44 Who gon' hold me down now?
29 00:01:46 I wanna get high, y'all
30 00:01:48 Whoa
31 00:01:49 I wanna get high, y'all
32 00:01:52 Need it, need it to get by...
33 00:01:54 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
34 00:01:57 Need it to get by, y'all.
35 00:02:08 Get back!
36 00:02:12 I love this movie.
37 00:02:13 They-they shot this on Staten Island.
38 00:02:17 - Whew! - Oh!
39 00:02:19 - Oh! - Ooh, God!
40 00:02:20 - Awesome. - Hell yeah.
41 00:02:21 Ew!
42 00:02:22 That's my shit.
43 00:02:23 This movie makes no sense.
44 00:02:25 Why-why would the government make a purge legal?
45 00:02:28 - Clearly to let them blow off some steam. Hello. - Yeah.
46 00:02:32 - That's why you go to the spa. - Yeah. Or the therapist.
47 00:02:35 - Or get your nails done. - Or...
48 00:02:37 Or murder some folks. Hmm?
49 00:02:39 I mean, come on, guys. I-I brought Tara over
50 00:02:41 so that we could get out of this basement.
51 00:02:43 Let's go out. Let's go dancing.
52 00:02:44 - I love dancing. - Let's do something.
53 00:02:47 We don't go out.
54 00:02:48 We don't dance.
55 00:02:49 - The Purge is not enough for you? - No.
56 00:02:51 Does anybody else like dancing?
57 00:02:52 - I like it. - Yes, me!
58 00:02:53 - You do? - I love dancing.
59 00:02:54 Yes.
60 00:02:55 He loves... He's a really good dancer.
61 00:02:57 What's your favorite move?
62 00:02:58 It's kind of like a shake.
63 00:03:01 - A shake? That's... - I don't know.
64 00:03:02 I just do whatever the m-music tells me to do.
65 00:03:05 There's nothing but douchebags at these clubs.
66 00:03:07 - I love it here, man. It's safe. - Oh, but, come on.
67 00:03:09 God, you just sit here all day,
68 00:03:10 - and then smoke weed and jerk each other off. - Yeah.
69 00:03:13 That sounds amazing.
70 00:03:14 I've never been jerked off by any of my friends.
71 00:03:16 Me, either.
72 00:03:17 I like your tattoos.
73 00:03:18 - I knew you would, right? - Those are...
74 00:03:20 - Oh, my God. That... - No, don't talk to him.
75 00:03:21 - He has, he has chlamydia. - I had.
76 00:03:23 - Oh, my God. - Had chlamydia.
77 00:03:25 - It's curable. - And you introduced me to
78 00:03:26 the girl that gave me chlamydia,
79 00:03:27 so you basically gave me chlamydia.
80 00:03:29 You assisted the chlamydia.
81 00:03:30 He doesn't have insurance.
82 00:03:31 - He can't get the meds. - It's fine.
83 00:03:32 I act... I actually did some of those.
84 00:03:34 You did?
85 00:03:35 You know I got to rep the island.
86 00:03:36 - Hey. - Staten Island. - Wow, Staten.
87 00:03:38 - S.I., you know. - Yeah.
88 00:03:40 - Looks so good. - Thank you.
89 00:03:42 - You have a bunch of tattoos also. - Yeah.
90 00:03:44 - What is that date? - Oh. - Ooh.
91 00:03:46 Uh, that's, uh, the date my Dad died.
92 00:03:48 Oh, my God, your dad died? I'm so sorry.
93 00:03:50 Don't be. It's fine. It's totally cool.
94 00:03:53 - So, what happened? - Ooh!
95 00:03:54 - Okay, you don't need to ask. - No.
96 00:03:55 - No, no, no, no. - Don't ask that.
97 00:03:57 It's kind of inappropriate.
98 00:03:58 Uh, he was a, he was a fireman.
99 00:03:59 So, he died in a fire.
100 00:04:02 Oh, my God.
101 00:04:05 - Yeah, we knew. - Yeah, we knew.
102 00:04:06 - We don't like to talk about it. - We knew.
103 00:04:08 That's why we don't bring it up.
104 00:04:09 - Apologize to Scott. - It's the right thing to do.
105 00:04:11 - You should say sorry. - Apologize or get out.
106 00:04:13 It's not okay.
107 00:04:15 Scott, um, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry
108 00:04:18 - that I asked about your tattoo. - Yeah.
109 00:04:24 What?
110 00:04:26 He doesn't care. It's fine.
111 00:04:27 - He doesn't care. - Look at him.
112 00:04:28 - He's laughing so much. - I don't care.
113 00:04:30 We talk about his dead dad all the time.
114 00:04:35 - Knock, knock. - Who's there?
115 00:04:37 Not your dad.
116 00:04:38 That's my favorite one.
117 00:04:39 Oh, my God, that's so funny.
118 00:04:41 We've made so many jokes about it.
119 00:04:43 Oh, my God, I don't even...
120 00:04:44 - I don't even miss him at all. - So funny.
121 00:04:46 Yeah.
122 00:04:54 Oh!
123 00:04:55 Oh, yeah, yeah, that's pretty good.
124 00:04:55 Keep-keep doing that! Keep doing that!
125 00:04:57 Are-are you, are you happy?
126 00:04:58 Yes, yes, it's fucking great! Keep going!
127 00:05:02 No, wait, d-d... don't stop!
128 00:05:08 Did you, um, did you, did you come?
129 00:05:10 Well, yes.
130 00:05:12 Were you there?
131 00:05:13 Yeah, I did.
132 00:05:15 - Like, six times. - Cool.
133 00:05:16 - Awesome. - It was great.
134 00:05:18 - Did you? - No, no, no.
135 00:05:20 But it's okay. I-I had fun.
136 00:05:22 I had fun back there.
137 00:05:24 Yeah.
138 00:05:25 You know, I feel bad that you never do.
139 00:05:27 No, I-I do all the time.
140 00:05:29 I just... you know, I don't put on a Broadway show like you do.
141 00:05:31 You know, I'm-I'm more quiet.
142 00:05:33 I'm more like Charlie Chaplin when I come.
143 00:05:35 - Like a silent movie. - Silent movie.
144 00:05:38 Um, do you think it's the antidepressants?
145 00:05:41 Oh, yeah, for sure.
146 00:05:42 Yeah. If I didn't have the antidepressants,
147 00:05:44 I'd come in, like, eight seconds.
148 00:05:45 And then you wouldn't come.
149 00:05:46 And then you'd be depressed.
150 00:05:48 And then you would have to take antidepressants.
151 00:05:52 - I don't know, can I say something? I, um... - Yeah.
152 00:05:55 I just still don't understand why this is such a big secret.
153 00:05:59 You know why it's a big secret. 'Cause it's special.
154 00:06:02 It's-it's, like, our thing, you know?
155 00:06:04 It-it wouldn't be special if everybody knew about it.
156 00:06:08 Yeah, but I don't just want to do this.
157 00:06:11 Yeah, I totally get that. So, should we stop?
158 00:06:14 No, I...
159 00:06:16 I don't know, like, this... like, what is this?
160 00:06:19 - And I don't know why... - This?
161 00:06:21 - This is... - I want to do what normal people do.
162 00:06:23 Yeah, I know. I just, you know, I...
163 00:06:24 It-it might be weird, you know.
164 00:06:26 We've known each other for, like, ever.
165 00:06:28 Since fourth grade.
166 00:06:29 It would be like incest.
167 00:06:31 No, it wouldn't.
168 00:06:31 No, it's like, yeah, w-we're best pals,
169 00:06:33 and I wouldn't want to, like, jeopardize our friendship
170 00:06:35 or something like that over something...
171 00:06:38 not silly, but, you know, it's just... it's a big risk.
172 00:06:42 But we've already done the deed.
173 00:06:44 - I mean, what else is there? - "Done the deed"?
174 00:06:46 - I don't know. - But, you know, it's just,
175 00:06:48 - you deserve somebody way better than me. - What?
176 00:06:51 You're a good guy.
177 00:06:53 - You're a good guy. I like you. - Uh...
178 00:06:55 Well, I... Based on what?
179 00:06:56 I mean, I like you, too. It's just like...
180 00:07:01 All right, can I just tell you... can I tell you something?
181 00:07:03 But can you, like, not tell anybody?
182 00:07:05 Well, people probably know, but, like...
183 00:07:08 There's, like, something wrong with me.
184 00:07:10 - Like, mentally, like... - What?
185 00:07:13 Like, I'm not okay up there.
186 00:07:16 You know? Like...
187 00:07:18 I-I get all mad, acting, like, crazy,
188 00:07:20 and I, and I make really insane, impulsive decisions.
189 00:07:23 And I get...
190 00:07:25 I'm d... I'm scared o-of myself, and I don't...
191 00:07:29 I don't want to, like, scare you or me
192 00:07:31 or, like, hurt anyone, you know?
193 00:07:33 So, I think it would just be best
194 00:07:35 and really responsible of me if I just backed off, you know?
195 00:07:41 I don't want you to f-feel like that about yourself.
196 00:07:43 Oh, no, it's...
197 00:07:45 I just, I just don't want to offend you, you know?
198 00:07:48 You're... you're the best. I think you're the greatest.
199 00:07:51 I know you think I'm great. I'm awesome.
200 00:07:55 I feel bad that you don't think you're great.
201 00:08:28 Hey, honey.
202 00:08:30 I made you an omelet.
203 00:08:33 What are you gonna wear to your sister's graduation party?
204 00:08:37 I was thinking, what about one of your dad's suits?
205 00:08:41 I don't know.
206 00:08:42 I-I don't think I'm really a suit guy, you know?
207 00:08:45 Plus-plus, all those suits are out of style, so...
208 00:08:48 You know, I thought they were back in style.
209 00:08:51 And... can you not smoke pot before the party?
210 00:08:55 Why?
211 00:08:56 Because it smells. You smell bad.
212 00:08:58 And no vaping because they're gonna think it's pot.
213 00:09:00 The uncle is a cop.
214 00:09:01 We don't need that kind of trouble.
215 00:09:03 Fuck that guy.
216 00:09:04 I hate this family.
217 00:09:06 They're so rich and snooty.
218 00:09:09 They've been really nice to Claire.
219 00:09:10 Hey, Mom. You got me the plastic containers.
220 00:09:12 I just need the cardboard boxes I can throw away.
221 00:09:14 But they're so good for storing things.
222 00:09:16 Yeah, but I don't have any storage.
223 00:09:18 My closet's, like, two feet wide.
224 00:09:20 Hey, Claire, do you even want me at your graduation party?
225 00:09:23 Do I want you to go? I don't care.
226 00:09:26 Just... It's weird if you don't go.
227 00:09:29 That wasn't exactly a warm invitation.
228 00:09:30 Yeah, well, it's not the part I'm looking forward to most.
229 00:09:32 But I want you to be there.
230 00:09:34 - She wants you to go. - No, she doesn't.
231 00:09:36 - She just said it. - No, I don't want him to go.
232 00:09:38 He has to go.
233 00:09:40 Just don't sit on the couch in the corner the whole time.
234 00:09:43 - It's weird. - No, I don't see the problem
235 00:09:44 with sitting in the corner, okay?
236 00:09:45 There's some people that go to the party and dance,
237 00:09:47 and there's some people that sit in the corner.
238 00:09:49 I'm the corner guy.
239 00:09:50 Accept your brother.
240 00:09:53 Also, don't try to fuck Layla, okay?
241 00:09:55 She told you she's not interested.
242 00:09:57 What are you talking about?
243 00:09:58 I never tried to hook up with her.
244 00:10:00 She's always trying to fuck me, and I-I have to avoid it
245 00:10:03 at all costs, out of respect for you.
246 00:10:06 I just thought she looked really good in those pants.
247 00:10:09 - Jesus. - Thought that was a nice thing to say.
248 00:10:11 - Just don't. - I didn't know I would get MeToo'd for it.
249 00:10:13 Dad's suits are vacuum-sealed in the garage.
250 00:10:15 - Yeah? - Just pick yourself a nice one.
251 00:10:17 You have to look nice.
252 00:10:19 We're celebrating your sister's achievements.
253 00:10:21 You're gonna miss her when she's gone.
254 00:10:23 Yeah. Celebrate me.
255 00:11:03 Wow, this, uh... this all happened so fast.
256 00:11:06 I-I can't believe you're graduating already.
257 00:11:11 I'm gonna really miss you.
258 00:11:19 Round two.
259 00:11:21 Fight!
260 00:11:22 Yo, where'd you get this?
261 00:11:24 This shit does not taste very good.
262 00:11:26 What are you talking about? This shit's fire, dawg.
263 00:11:29 Do you guys even really get high anymore?
264 00:11:31 I-I don't really think I get high anymore.
265 00:11:32 I think I just kind of am myself.
266 00:11:35 I haven't been high in a while, man.
267 00:11:37 But I still do it.
268 00:11:38 I like the lifestyle.
269 00:11:40 I'm mad high.
270 00:11:41 Yo, tell Scotty about
271 00:11:43 how you're being catfished.
272 00:11:45 - Who? - You!
273 00:11:46 How you're being catfished, bro.
274 00:11:47 Tell him the truth.
275 00:11:48 You got a girlfriend? What's up?
276 00:11:49 - No. - Yeah.
277 00:11:50 - That's awesome. - Yes.
278 00:11:52 Her name is Carla.
279 00:11:53 - We talk on the phone. - Nah, dude.
280 00:11:55 Like, this girl, like, slid into his DMs, and, like,
281 00:11:58 I don't know, she, like, asked him out or whatever.
282 00:12:00 - But hundred percent a trick, dude. - She...
283 00:12:02 - She's bad, but that's not yours. - Why?
284 00:12:03 And she's, like, so hot, dude.
285 00:12:05 Yo, she, like, hangs out on yachts.
286 00:12:07 - Like, yo. - Oh, come on.
287 00:12:08 - No, no, like, no. - Dude...
288 00:12:09 Like, it's not real, like...
289 00:12:10 Bro, they're just being jealous, bro.
290 00:12:12 They're just jealous 'cause you're getting that...
291 00:12:13 Oh, yeah, that's a catfish.
292 00:12:15 Oh, you getting catfished like a motherfucker!
293 00:12:17 - Oh, my God! - Right, dude?
294 00:12:18 - Bro... - What does she...
295 00:12:19 Straight up, I'm-a send myself this one, honestly.
296 00:12:22 Honestly, dude, she's fucking fake.
297 00:12:25 She thinks I'm hot.
298 00:12:26 How? You guys never even seen each other.
299 00:12:29 How come you guys don't FaceTime?
300 00:12:30 Tell Scotty why you don't FaceTime.
301 00:12:32 Her phone camera's broken, but she sent me all these photos.
302 00:12:34 - Yeah. - Bro, these are Google Images.
303 00:12:36 - Exactly, dude. - Shit, you don't know that.
304 00:12:38 Maybe-maybe this girl is, uh, is into Igor.
305 00:12:39 Well, you know, he's-he's, you know, cute.
306 00:12:42 Yo, like, you don't even know how to talk to girls.
307 00:12:44 What do you even talk to her about?
308 00:12:47 - Igor. - Mm-hmm.
309 00:12:49 Go get that shit, bro. What are you doing?
310 00:12:52 Yo, he is the worst assistant.
311 00:12:54 He's clearly going through a lot.
312 00:12:55 How much for, like, six Xanax?
313 00:12:57 Six.
314 00:12:58 What do we have? What do we have?
315 00:13:00 - Who needs six Xanax? - I got one, two...
316 00:13:03 I got three right here, I think.
317 00:13:04 One, two...
318 00:13:05 Is this a... Yeah.
319 00:13:07 - How you doing? - I'm all right.
320 00:13:09 Yo, you're Jimmy Bags' brother, right?
321 00:13:12 Yes, bro.
322 00:13:14 Tell your brother he's a bitch.
323 00:13:18 - You understand that? - Yeah. I do.
324 00:13:19 - Say it back to me. - He's a bitch. He's a bitch.
325 00:13:22 And now, you know what?
326 00:13:24 I got four, but you're paying for six.
327 00:13:26 Nah, come on. That's my fucking brother, bro.
328 00:13:28 - Like, what are you... - Nah. Nah, dude.
329 00:13:29 I hate your brother.
330 00:13:30 And now you look like a little version of him,
331 00:13:32 and I want to punch you in the face.
332 00:13:34 So, instead of doing that, just give me 60.
333 00:13:37 I only got 40.
334 00:13:38 Then go home, do chores, and come back.
335 00:13:40 - I don't give a fuck. - I-I can't.
336 00:13:41 I stole it from my mom's purse, but she only had 40.
337 00:13:44 Well, then, give me your shoes.
338 00:13:46 No, bro, I can't.
339 00:13:47 Just give me your shoes and we'll call it a day.
340 00:13:49 - Hey, what size are you? - Like, a nine.
341 00:13:52 Those'll fit you.
342 00:13:53 - Igor, you can have those. - I'll take 'em.
343 00:13:54 Look at that, Igor got a gift.
344 00:13:55 - He's not a fucking nine. - Fuck you!
345 00:13:57 You don't make fun of my friend!
346 00:13:59 He-he can't get on fucking roller coasters,
347 00:14:00 - he's that small. - Shut the fuck up! - Whoa!
348 00:14:01 - We make fun of him! - How is he gonna wear them?
349 00:14:02 - You don't make fun of him! - He's our friend.
350 00:14:04 He rides roller coasters all the time.
351 00:14:06 We make fun of him, not you.
352 00:14:08 He's, like, a size five, bro, like...
353 00:14:09 Yo! Stop!
354 00:14:10 Get the fuck away from my window.
355 00:14:12 You guys are a bunch of fucking pussies.
356 00:14:14 Mom, he's saying he's gonna wear these cargo shorts to the party.
357 00:14:17 Oh, no.
358 00:14:18 What? I told you to wear Dad's suit.
359 00:14:20 I don't want to wear Dad's old suit, okay?
360 00:14:22 - I have my own personal style, and I... - Get the fuck off me!
361 00:14:24 - Don't do that! - I-I don't want to wear a suit, okay?
362 00:14:26 I think, I think I'm gonna throw up.
363 00:14:29 I think I have the flu.
364 00:14:31 Oh, oh, okay. Just-just breathe through your nose.
365 00:14:34 One second.
366 00:14:35 Oh, shut up. Mom, he looks like
367 00:14:37 he fucking sells crack under a bridge.
368 00:14:38 I know the guy who sells crack under the bridge, okay?
369 00:14:41 And he looks awesome.
370 00:14:42 Just put on the suit, Scott, please.
371 00:14:44 No! It's not fair!
372 00:14:45 She thinks she's, like, princess of the world...
373 00:14:47 Okay, well, then just please
374 00:14:48 be respectful for two fucking seconds!
375 00:14:49 ...because she graduated high school.
376 00:14:50 Everybody graduates high school!
377 00:14:52 - Shut up! - Scott!
378 00:14:53 - Oh, she's a jolly good fellow - Oh.
379 00:14:55 Mom, please...
380 00:14:56 Just put on the suit.
381 00:14:58 Be respectful.
382 00:14:59 I'll be home in an hour.
383 00:15:00 Fine!
384 00:15:02 Thank you.
385 00:15:05 How are you feeling?
386 00:15:11 I'm sorry.
387 00:15:12 I tried to warn you, but you were on the phone.
388 00:15:16 Thanks for letting me use your phone.
389 00:15:19 My family has problems, too.
390 00:15:21 I love this house.
391 00:15:23 If you have money,
392 00:15:24 why would you ever live in Staten Island?
393 00:15:34 - Oh, God. Yeah. - So good.
394 00:15:36 We are so proud
395 00:15:39 of our daughter Joanne...
396 00:15:40 and Claire, who's been at our house so much over the years
397 00:15:43 you feel like our second daughter.
398 00:15:45 Thank you, Margie, for lending her to us all these years.
399 00:15:49 You guys have worked so hard, and we are so, so proud of you.
400 00:15:54 Jesus Christ, dial it back, you fucking fruits.
401 00:15:57 Joanne,
402 00:15:58 you are a very special girl.
403 00:16:01 You made our dreams come true, too.
404 00:16:04 You're my sweet angel.
405 00:16:05 No, she's not.
406 00:16:06 It's such an honor to be your parents.
407 00:16:08 You've taught us as much as we've taught you. Claire...
408 00:16:11 You've been through so much,
409 00:16:13 and you've done so well,
410 00:16:14 so much better than any of us could have handled it.
411 00:16:16 Your dad Stan would be so proud of you.
412 00:16:18 He's looking down at you right now.
413 00:16:20 Yes, he is.
414 00:16:21 No, he's not.
415 00:16:22 A toast to Joanne and Claire.
416 00:16:24 So proud.
417 00:16:26 Congratulations!
418 00:16:28 Please don't
419 00:16:29 Make me have to take your bitch
420 00:16:30 How I roll, if I'm shining
421 00:16:32 Everybody gonna shine...
422 00:16:34 - What's up, Todd? - What's up, Scott?
423 00:16:37 You going to college, too, someday?
424 00:16:39 I'd like to, yeah. I'd go study law.
425 00:16:41 Oh, yeah? That's awesome, man.
426 00:16:42 That sounds really cool. Do you have any weed?
427 00:16:44 - I do. - Could I have some?
428 00:16:46 - Definitely. I'll go grab it. - Cool. Thanks, Todd.
429 00:16:50 Fucking home run, Todd.
430 00:16:51 It makes me sad to think of my little sister
431 00:16:55 sitting in that sad little house,
432 00:16:57 waiting for her son to be perfect.
433 00:16:59 I'm not.
434 00:17:02 Then you're wasting all of this.
435 00:17:03 All of it's getting wasted.
436 00:17:05 - You're a mess. - You're wasted.
437 00:17:06 Mom would be so disappoin... Mom would be disappointed in you.
438 00:17:08 You're the one who's always wasted.
439 00:17:09 You're wasting. It's like leaving food on the table.
440 00:17:13 Come on.
441 00:17:14 - Let me take you out. - It's so hard to meet people.
442 00:17:16 - I'm totally open. - No, it's... I mean, God...
443 00:17:18 You're not open at all.
444 00:17:19 - It's really hard to meet people. - You're a liar.
445 00:17:21 You're not open. "Hard to meet people"?
446 00:17:22 - I'm in the E.R. All I see is, like... - You meet...
447 00:17:23 - You meet a hundred people a night. - People who were shot...
448 00:17:26 Yeah, they're shot.
449 00:17:27 They're-they're, uh, they're criminals.
450 00:17:29 - Stop limiting yourself. - Who am I gonna meet?
451 00:17:31 Stop limiting yourself.
452 00:17:32 - But I'm at the hospital. - Yeah.
453 00:17:33 - They're not all criminals. - You meet people at work.
454 00:17:34 - That's what it's... - Some of them are victims.
455 00:17:36 Doll...
456 00:17:38 You know, we could put you on two shifts a week,
457 00:17:40 - just-just, just to try it. - I don't need a job.
458 00:17:43 I, uh, I got a contact at a tattoo shop.
459 00:17:45 I'm-I'm hoping for an apprenticeship, so...
460 00:17:46 Then you're gonna need some money.
461 00:17:48 Yeah, some of these guys walk away with 80 bucks in tips.
462 00:17:51 Scott, your cousin's offering you a job. Consider it, okay?
463 00:17:53 If you're good at it, you can become a waiter.
464 00:17:55 Why are you offering me a job anyway?
465 00:17:57 Because I told your father I'd always look out for you.
466 00:18:01 How? He died suddenly in a fire.
467 00:18:03 Uh, did you ask his ghost?
468 00:18:05 That's not witty, Scott.
469 00:18:07 Your dark sense of humor doesn't work for me.
470 00:18:09 I find it funny.
471 00:18:10 It's your sister's big day. Be a gentleman.
472 00:18:15 Okay, we lost a few guys in an ICE raid.
473 00:18:17 Ah, shit. Sorry.
474 00:18:19 Maybe you should work and go to college.
475 00:18:21 - College is bullshit! - Oh.
476 00:18:24 You know who went to Harvard? The Unabomber.
477 00:18:26 You know who went to Temple? Bill Cosby.
478 00:18:29 You know who else who went to Temple? Ted Bundy.
479 00:18:32 You know who went to Hofstra? Bernie Madoff.
480 00:18:35 You know who went to Wharton? Donald Trump.
481 00:18:38 It's all a scam.
482 00:18:40 Okay, well, maybe I shouldn't go, then.
483 00:18:43 Oh, no, you'll have the time of your life.
484 00:18:45 Hey, Scott.
485 00:18:49 Sit down.
486 00:18:50 Okay.
487 00:18:52 I got you this.
488 00:19:03 So, what-what is, uh, what is, what is this?
489 00:19:06 It's paintbrushes and some paint.
490 00:19:11 Well, I know you're into art, so I thought you could
491 00:19:13 expand your horizons while I'm gone.
492 00:19:15 You got a gift receipt for this?
493 00:19:17 - You okay? - Fine... Yeah.
494 00:19:20 Wh-What do you mean? Yeah, I'm...
495 00:19:21 You gonna be okay without me here?
496 00:19:22 What, you don't think I can survive here without you?
497 00:19:25 Okay, just don't be a dick, okay?
498 00:19:27 Like, be nice to Mom, okay? Don't give her a hard time.
499 00:19:30 - She deserves a break. - I always give her a-a break.
500 00:19:32 What are you... When's... When am I gonna get my break?
501 00:19:35 Like...
502 00:19:36 What are you talking about?
503 00:19:37 All anyone ever does is worry about you.
504 00:19:39 I was ignored my entire childhood 'cause of you.
505 00:19:41 Oh, yeah, I forgot that my childhood was so dandy.
506 00:19:44 Okay, you don't get to act crazy your whole life
507 00:19:46 just 'cause Dad died, okay?
508 00:19:47 At least you got to know him.
509 00:19:48 Well, you're lucky you didn't get to know him, okay?
510 00:19:50 'Cause that's why you're almost normal.
511 00:19:51 If you got to know him, you would've known that he was,
512 00:19:53 like, the fucking coolest guy ever,
513 00:19:55 and that would've ruined the rest of your life.
514 00:19:57 Okay, like, but what are you gonna do?
515 00:19:59 Are you gonna get a job or are you gonna leave the house?
516 00:20:02 I don't know.
517 00:20:03 I-I'm gonna open that tattoo restaurant.
518 00:20:06 No, like, for real.
519 00:20:08 I am being real.
520 00:20:09 It's a great... It's never been done before.
521 00:20:10 I looked it up. I googled it.
522 00:20:12 It's never been done, not even as a joke.
523 00:20:14 Because no one wants to go to a restaurant
524 00:20:16 and watch people get tattooed while they eat.
525 00:20:18 - It's gross. - It's the best idea ever.
526 00:20:20 Ruby Tattoosdays, where everyone's welcome.
527 00:20:23 - Chicken and tattoos. - That's not a business!
528 00:20:25 You know, you got to get your shit together.
529 00:20:26 Time is passing by very quickly.
530 00:20:28 That's why I smoke weed all the time, okay?
531 00:20:30 It slows it all down.
532 00:20:31 Fucking God.
533 00:20:34 See, I'm worried about you.
534 00:20:35 Well, why now? You never gave a shit.
535 00:20:37 You, like, literally never cared until this second.
536 00:20:39 Like, wh-what, what gives?
537 00:20:41 You never looked out for me once.
538 00:20:42 You're my older brother.
539 00:20:43 You're supposed to look out for me.
540 00:20:45 You're-you're just guilty 'cause you're leaving?
541 00:20:46 Now, all of a sudden, you're afraid I'm gonna die?
542 00:20:48 I was gonna die anyway, whether you stay or not.
543 00:20:50 - Are you gonna hurt yourself? - Probably.
544 00:20:53 Yeah, I'm probably gonna hurt myself.
545 00:20:54 I don't know how, but yeah.
546 00:20:57 If anybody could do it, it's me.
547 00:21:01 This is why I don't talk to you, 'cause the one thing I know is
548 00:21:03 you're not gonna listen to my advice, so...
549 00:21:06 Yeah, well, why would I?
550 00:21:07 Like, you don't even give a shit.
551 00:21:08 You're-you're leaving.
552 00:21:09 You're not even part of the family.
553 00:21:10 I'm the only fucking normal person in this family.
554 00:21:13 Jesus. You know...
555 00:21:15 Every second I'm away from you, I'm worrying about you.
556 00:21:17 That's what you do to people.
557 00:21:19 You should be worried.
558 00:21:20 Okay, don't fucking ruin college for me, okay?
559 00:21:24 Go!
560 00:21:25 Fine.
561 00:21:26 Hey, you should bring that chipper personality to college.
562 00:21:28 Guys will love it.
563 00:21:31 Hello.
564 00:21:37 Okay, let's see my to-do list.
565 00:21:41 Yo, we're finished packing the car.
566 00:21:44 You want to come out and say goodbye or...?
567 00:21:46 Oh, well, yeah, this is almost over.
568 00:21:48 No, like, we're leaving.
569 00:21:50 - Oh. She's leaving? - Like, to go to college, you know?
570 00:21:52 - Oh, oh, my bad. - Yeah, four years, so...
571 00:21:54 - Oh, all right. - Let's go.
572 00:21:56 Nope, like... Go. Come on.
573 00:21:58 Uh, don't worry about me, okay?
574 00:22:00 This is really hard right now.
575 00:22:02 You don't seem fine.
576 00:22:04 I'm so proud of you.
577 00:22:10 I love you.
578 00:22:12 Uh, okay.
579 00:22:15 You're the light of my life.
580 00:22:17 Oh.
581 00:22:19 Okay.
582 00:22:22 Thanks for helping us pack the car.
583 00:22:25 I'm sorry.
584 00:22:26 I didn't realize you guys were done already.
585 00:22:30 Be nice to Mom.
586 00:22:31 And please respond to my texts.
587 00:22:34 I will. Don't worry about it.
588 00:22:36 And, um... I-I'll come visit you at some point.
589 00:22:41 Okay. All right.
590 00:22:43 Yeah.
591 00:22:44 - I love you. - I love you, too.
592 00:22:47 Fly.
593 00:22:58 Keep on hoping we'll eat
594 00:22:59 Cake by the ocean
595 00:23:01 Talk to me, baby...
596 00:23:13 Hey.
597 00:23:14 Hey.
598 00:23:16 Uh...
599 00:23:18 I was thinking of finally seeing that Game of Thrones.
600 00:23:21 Should I binge it?
601 00:23:23 Oh, it's a, it's a pretty violent show.
602 00:23:25 You sure you could watch that?
603 00:23:27 I work in an emergency room.
604 00:23:29 Right, yeah.
605 00:23:30 So, you could probably handle a good pillage.
606 00:23:33 Yeah.
607 00:23:34 Okay, well, maybe I'll start watching it.
608 00:23:37 - Yeah. - You watch it with me?
609 00:23:38 Um, well, I actually just kind of finished it, so I-I don't...
610 00:23:43 It's really fresh in my mind, so I-I would probably...
611 00:23:45 - Okay. - I can watch some of them.
612 00:23:46 Uh, I don't think I can watch all of them again, but...
613 00:23:49 - Well... - I'll see you later, then.
614 00:23:51 All right.
615 00:23:53 Uh, are you okay?
616 00:23:55 Or...
617 00:23:58 Oh. Yeah?
618 00:23:59 Come on.
619 00:24:00 Uh, it's, it-it's...
620 00:24:02 It's okay. It's...
621 00:24:04 I-I'm here. Uh, I'm here.
622 00:24:06 Don't-don't worry about it.
623 00:24:08 She's, you know...
624 00:24:09 Well, she's only, like, 45 minutes away,
625 00:24:11 and she'll-she'll probably call in, like, five minutes.
626 00:24:16 But, hey.
627 00:24:17 You still got me, right?
628 00:24:21 Yeah.
629 00:24:27 Oh, shit.
630 00:24:28 Hey, hey!
631 00:24:31 See, you got to hold it like this.
632 00:24:34 Let's see. Oh.
633 00:24:35 - Oh, yeah! - Oh!
634 00:24:38 Hey, hey, wait. Hey, hey, guys.
635 00:24:40 Look, look.
636 00:24:42 You can't be here, man.
637 00:24:44 - Y-You got to go. - Why?
638 00:24:45 It's private property, that's why.
639 00:24:48 It's an abandoned orphanage. Why can't we be here?
640 00:24:50 Who gives a shit, man?
641 00:24:51 What are you doing here?
642 00:24:52 You fucking protecting the ghosts of dead orphans?
643 00:24:54 Look, fat Kanye, shut your damn mouth.
644 00:24:57 I'll be back in five minutes for you assholes.
645 00:25:00 If you're still here, I'm calling the cops, period.
646 00:25:02 You better get the cops, man, 'cause you're a fake cop.
647 00:25:04 - You need the real ones. - Motherfuckers.
648 00:25:06 - Fuck all of y'all. - I feel bad.
649 00:25:08 We-we were a little too mean.
650 00:25:10 - Yeah. - He's nice.
651 00:25:11 Yeah, he's a really good guy.
652 00:25:12 See, that guy... that is what is wrong with Staten Island.
653 00:25:17 We don't get any cool people from any of the other boroughs.
654 00:25:20 No one comes here.
655 00:25:21 We're stuck with the fucking pricks that live here.
656 00:25:24 You're talking about us.
657 00:25:26 Right in front of us.
658 00:25:27 Yeah, kinda.
659 00:25:28 I mean, no one comes here.
660 00:25:29 There's no flow of people. That guy's, like, 200.
661 00:25:31 We've known him since we were six.
662 00:25:33 Why can't we be cool like Brooklyn?
663 00:25:34 There's no reason we shouldn't be cool like Brooklyn.
664 00:25:37 We got amazing views. It's close to the city.
665 00:25:39 It's cheap. Nice people. It makes no sense.
666 00:25:41 We're, like, the only place that New Jersey looks down on.
667 00:25:44 You could see the garbage dump from space.
668 00:25:47 This place is never gonna change.
669 00:25:48 No, it happened to the Meatpacking District,
670 00:25:50 the Village.
671 00:25:51 Brooklyn used to be a fucking shithole.
672 00:25:53 We are next.
673 00:25:54 I'm gonna take my civil service test.
674 00:25:55 I'm gonna work in the city, in city planning.
675 00:25:57 You watch, this place is gonna be like fucking Williamsburg
676 00:25:59 - in ten years. - No, all right? No. Nobody wants that.
677 00:26:02 Why do you want to work in the city and do city planning?
678 00:26:04 That sounds so boring.
679 00:26:05 I feel like Brooklyn is better.
680 00:26:07 I dated a guy that lived in Brooklyn.
681 00:26:09 He was a mixologist.
682 00:26:10 He made ice cubes out of milk.
683 00:26:12 - He was so classy. - Shut up!
684 00:26:14 I love Staten Island.
685 00:26:16 It's amazing.
686 00:26:17 And people are gonna see it soon, trust me.
687 00:26:19 Well, if you love it so much,
688 00:26:21 why don't you let me tattoo it on you?
689 00:26:23 No, I'm not gonna let you tattoo me again.
690 00:26:25 Fine.
691 00:26:26 Well, I need somebody to tattoo.
692 00:26:29 I'm, I-I'm running out of...
693 00:26:30 Come on, Rich. What about you, man?
694 00:26:32 - Don't even look at me, dude. - Why?
695 00:26:34 Your work is mad inconsistent.
696 00:26:36 Obama ain't right.
697 00:26:37 I got the eyes wrong, okay?
698 00:26:38 He's not right.
699 00:26:39 All right, man, this has hurt me, all right?
700 00:26:42 I don't have any black friends anymore.
701 00:26:43 I can't go to a barber shop no more.
702 00:26:45 You got Obama wrong. Ain't nothing worse than that.
703 00:26:48 What about you, Igor? You want a dragon or something?
704 00:26:50 Oh, I love your tattoos.
705 00:26:52 My brother?
706 00:26:53 It's a spitting image.
707 00:26:54 - Yeah. It's one of the best. - It's my favorite.
708 00:26:56 No, no, no, no. This is my favorite.
709 00:26:57 Oh, you killed that.
710 00:26:58 - Yeah, I really worked hard on the eyes. - Just...
711 00:27:00 He's so cute. I love his butthole.
712 00:27:02 It reminds me that I have a belly button.
713 00:27:04 - So, I'm good. - Yeah, I got to go.
714 00:27:06 Watching you beg to give tattoos is too sad.
715 00:27:09 And that's freaking me out.
716 00:27:11 We're almost done.
717 00:27:13 Almost.
718 00:27:18 All right.
719 00:27:20 - You're all done. - That looks really good.
720 00:27:21 Yeah, I mean, I wish
721 00:27:23 you'd let me do something cooler, but yeah.
722 00:27:25 Oh, fuck no. That hurts so bad.
723 00:27:26 - Another dumb tattoo. - Yeah, but I-I like the pain.
724 00:27:29 The-the pain is the whole point of getting tattoos.
725 00:27:31 Don't you just love when you're getting tattooed,
726 00:27:33 and it hits the bone and pinches a nerve,
727 00:27:34 and you're like...
728 00:27:36 I'm not a fan of the pain.
729 00:27:37 You shouldn't let him do it to you, all right?
730 00:27:39 He's inconsistent.
731 00:27:40 I think that tattoo's dumb.
732 00:27:42 Y'all should've told me when you saw the design.
733 00:27:44 It says, "Unfollow me."
734 00:27:45 You don't even have that many followers.
735 00:27:47 Carla follows me.
736 00:27:49 - Bro, she's imaginary. - Carla not real.
737 00:27:51 Carla's not real, dude.
738 00:27:52 How many times do we have to say this?
739 00:27:54 She's not real.
740 00:27:56 I hate bugs, dawg.
741 00:27:57 I'm a gangster!
742 00:27:58 No, that's a bee, bro!
743 00:28:00 There's a kid down there.
744 00:28:02 - Yo, kid! - Oh, yo.
745 00:28:04 - Yo, kid, what's up? - Oh, shit, there is a kid.
746 00:28:06 What are you doing?
747 00:28:07 You hanging out on the beach? Come here, come here.
748 00:28:09 Don't-don't be shy. No stranger danger here.
749 00:28:11 I'm not gonna touch you.
750 00:28:12 - What's up, pal? - What are you doing?
751 00:28:14 I'm looking for my friend.
752 00:28:15 "Looking for my friend."
753 00:28:16 You want to be friends with us?
754 00:28:19 We're the good guys, right?
755 00:28:21 - You can hang out with us, pal. - Come on.
756 00:28:22 Let me get some of that. Put it right there.
757 00:28:26 - Ho! - You gang.
758 00:28:28 Part of the gang.
759 00:28:30 Gang.
760 00:28:31 What's that?
761 00:28:32 Uh, it's a tattoo gun.
762 00:28:33 I was giving the homeys tattoos.
763 00:28:35 I want a tattoo.
764 00:28:37 - You're a tough guy? - Really?
765 00:28:39 - Sure, young guy. You want a tattoo? - Yeah.
766 00:28:41 Dude, kid wants a tattoo. That's my guy right there.
767 00:28:44 Bro, you-you can't give him a tattoo.
768 00:28:45 - He's a little kid. - Yeah, there we go.
769 00:28:46 - You want a tattoo? - Bro, I got to practice on something.
770 00:28:48 - Yeah. - He seems old enough.
771 00:28:50 - You a tough guy? - Yeah.
772 00:28:51 You a badass.
773 00:28:53 Come on, show those muscles, kid.
774 00:28:54 - Come on. Both arms, both arms. - Yeah, there you go.
775 00:28:56 - Put 'em up. - You got tickets to the gun show?
776 00:28:58 - There it is. There it is. - All right. - There we go.
777 00:29:00 - What's your name? - Harold.
778 00:29:01 I'm-a call you Harry.
779 00:29:02 Don't. It's Harold.
780 00:29:04 - Oh. - Okay.
781 00:29:06 - Hell yeah. - I like this kid.
782 00:29:08 I need him in my life.
783 00:29:09 He has structure.
784 00:29:12 Guys, I don't think that's a good idea.
785 00:29:14 I mean... we don't listen to anything you say.
786 00:29:16 - Yeah. - Yeah, I mean, why do you even try to give us advice?
787 00:29:19 So, what do you want a tattoo of?
788 00:29:21 The Punisher.
789 00:29:22 - The Punisher? - Okay.
790 00:29:24 - That's tough, man. - All right.
791 00:29:25 He could've said anything. He said The Punisher.
792 00:29:28 Oh, yeah, I could do that. Is that it?
793 00:29:30 Yeah, that's him.
794 00:29:31 - Are you sure? - Yes.
795 00:29:33 Do I have your legal permission to do this?
796 00:29:36 - Yes. - That's good enough for me.
797 00:29:38 - How about you guys? - Holds up in court.
798 00:29:40 You guys heard it. All right.
799 00:29:41 Yo, he can't get consent. He's ten.
800 00:29:42 Now, hold still, okay? 'Cause it is permanent.
801 00:29:46 Yo, guys. Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
802 00:29:48 - Put your game face on. - Don't worry, dude.
803 00:29:50 This will just be on you for the rest of your life.
804 00:29:53 There you go.
805 00:29:55 - Look at you, tough guy. - There you go.
806 00:29:57 - I don't want to do it! - Uh...
807 00:29:59 - I don't wanna! - Well, I got to finish it.
808 00:30:00 - Now there's just a line. - Calm down, man.
809 00:30:01 - You're gonna look stupid. Sit back down. Relax. - Calm down.
810 00:30:04 - Sit down. Do it. - Relax.
811 00:30:05 - Whoa! Hey! - Hey! - Hey!
812 00:30:07 - Hey, run! Run, kid! - Hey!
813 00:30:08 Run, little man! Run!
814 00:30:10 Run!
815 00:30:12 Goddamn it.
816 00:30:14 I fucking believed in that kid, man.
817 00:30:15 He seemed so tough at first, uh, but then immediately wasn't.
818 00:30:19 That's why I don't fuck with millennials, dude.
819 00:30:21 Again, we are the millennials.
820 00:30:24 He keeps saying that, but I don't know what that means.
821 00:30:26 I regret my friendship with you guys.
822 00:30:41 Yeah, hello. My name's Raymond Bishop.
823 00:30:43 This is my son, Harold. Say hello, Harold.
824 00:30:45 I'm sorry.
825 00:30:46 What's going on?
826 00:30:48 Well, it seems your son was down in the woods
827 00:30:50 giving out free tattoos, and my son was one of his victims.
828 00:30:52 What? Well, I-I don't understand.
829 00:30:54 How do you know it was my son? How'd you get this address?
830 00:30:57 I have my ways. Believe me, I have my ways.
831 00:31:00 Are you a cop?
832 00:31:00 No, I'm a fireman, okay? I work for a living.
833 00:31:02 Look at this. Do you believe this?
834 00:31:04 You see that there? See that line?
835 00:31:05 I don't know if you burn these off or what,
836 00:31:07 but we're taking care of this
837 00:31:08 and you're paying for it, you understand me?
838 00:31:10 - I don't know what this is. - Scott! Oh.
839 00:31:12 I am... I'm so sorry.
840 00:31:14 I-I-I...
841 00:31:15 There's an aesthetic laser at the hospital where I work,
842 00:31:18 and it can completely remove it.
843 00:31:20 Uh, I get a discount.
844 00:31:21 I'm-I'm gonna pay for the whole thing.
845 00:31:22 I don't know what I'm saying. I'm... I feel terrible.
846 00:31:24 You should feel terrible!
847 00:31:25 Look at that!
848 00:31:26 - What's up? Oh, fuck. - Ah, there he is.
849 00:31:28 - You get your ass out here! - Hey, he said he was 18.
850 00:31:31 He looks like he's four, you fucking moron! Sorry.
851 00:31:34 - He consented! - He's lying.
852 00:31:35 - Harold, come on! - Course he's lying!
853 00:31:37 You can't have consent! He's nine years old!
854 00:31:40 Dad, let's go. You're embarrassing me.
855 00:31:41 We're not going anywhere, okay?
856 00:31:42 He's just a little kid!
857 00:31:43 What the fuck is wrong with you?!
858 00:31:44 Uh, he was roaming around in the woods.
859 00:31:46 He wanted a tattoo. W-Where were you?
860 00:31:48 I was at fucking work!
861 00:31:50 - Fuck you! - Hey! - Come out here!
862 00:31:51 If I was you, I'd shut your fucking mouth,
863 00:31:52 because I can call the cops right now
864 00:31:53 and have your ass thrown in jail.
865 00:31:54 - For what? - For sticking needles in a kid's arm,
866 00:31:56 you fucking dope!
867 00:31:57 Did you even raise him? Did you even raise him?
868 00:31:59 You know, there's no reason to call the cops.
869 00:32:02 I can handle this and I can also handle disciplining him.
870 00:32:05 Well, clearly you can't or you wouldn't have a middle-aged son
871 00:32:07 still living at home, tattooing minors against their will!
872 00:32:10 I asked him to do it.
873 00:32:12 - It's not his fault. - That's right. That's my man.
874 00:32:13 Go wait in the car. Harold, go on.
875 00:32:16 And don't raise your voice at me, either.
876 00:32:17 Later, Harold.
877 00:32:18 Don't say goodbye to my kid. Look both ways.
878 00:32:20 - Look both ways! - Go to your room.
879 00:32:22 - I am! - Watch your mouth.
880 00:32:23 For your information, I am not a middle-aged man.
881 00:32:26 I'm a 24-year-old man, and I'm going to my room
882 00:32:29 'cause I fucking want to.
883 00:32:30 What kind of fucking animal are you raising in this house, huh?
884 00:32:34 I'm bringing you the bill.
885 00:32:35 I don't care what it costs, all right?
886 00:32:36 - I mean, what the fuck is going on around here? - All right.
887 00:32:39 Just give me a day to arrange the laser.
888 00:32:41 All right. You know, you know something?
889 00:32:42 I-Is his father home? Where's his dad?
890 00:32:44 I-I don't, I don't want to fucking yell at you.
891 00:32:45 He's deceased.
892 00:32:48 Oh.
893 00:32:50 Well, uh...
894 00:32:52 I'm, uh, sorry for your loss.
895 00:32:54 I'm sure if he was still around,
896 00:32:55 he would agree with the fact that,
897 00:32:56 you know, you should still pay for it.
898 00:33:07 Comically huge mustache.
899 00:33:08 Is this what he looked like?
900 00:33:10 That's exactly what he looked like.
901 00:33:11 - You're scared of me. - Yeah.
902 00:33:13 Yo, he-he... And that's not funny.
903 00:33:14 He burst into the door, started screaming,
904 00:33:16 and his mustache was flapping all over the place.
905 00:33:18 - Flapping. - He looked the Monopoly Man.
906 00:33:20 It was terrifying.
907 00:33:22 "Look both ways!
908 00:33:24 Look both ways!"
909 00:33:26 - Fucking maniac. - But I will say,
910 00:33:28 probably not a good idea to tattoo children in the woods.
911 00:33:31 - Yeah, probably. - You know, you could get in trouble.
912 00:33:33 - Yeah, you could. - Why did you do that?
913 00:33:35 I don't know.
914 00:33:36 I thought I would get away with it.
915 00:33:37 Plus, I thought he was, like, at least 15, you know?
916 00:33:38 - Oh, really? - I got... Yeah, I got my first tattoo...
917 00:33:41 - How old was he? - Nine.
918 00:33:43 You thought he was 15?
919 00:33:44 - Yeah, I'm fucking... - Maybe you've been smoking too much.
920 00:33:46 I think I'm just stupid.
921 00:33:48 Uh...
922 00:33:50 No, you should see my mom, though.
923 00:33:51 - It's so weird since my sister left. - Yeah.
924 00:33:53 She's just crying all the time and, like,
925 00:33:55 - she's trying to talk to me and hang out with me. - Mm.
926 00:33:57 The other day, she asked me to go to Nordstrom Rack.
927 00:33:59 I almost slit my throat.
928 00:34:01 Did you go?
929 00:34:02 No. I pretended to be asleep.
930 00:34:03 Oh, come on, she... Maybe she needs company.
931 00:34:05 She's lonely without your sister.
932 00:34:07 Yeah, she's-she's, she's gonna be lonely.
933 00:34:10 I mean, you should've seen her at my sister's send-off party.
934 00:34:12 It was, it was really weird.
935 00:34:16 There was a party?
936 00:34:18 Yeah.
937 00:34:19 Why wasn't I invited?
938 00:34:20 To a high school graduation party?
939 00:34:23 Well, who was there?
940 00:34:25 It was, you know, it was just
941 00:34:27 family and... shit.
942 00:34:29 What, you don't want me to be around your family?
943 00:34:32 I've known them since I was ten.
944 00:34:33 Well, yeah, I just...
945 00:34:34 I didn't think it was something you would want to go to.
946 00:34:36 I'm-I'm sorry.
947 00:34:38 Come on, that's fucked up.
948 00:34:40 Why? Why is that fucked up?
949 00:34:41 Because we're, you know, doing something here.
950 00:34:45 We're... Are-are we doing something here?
951 00:34:47 I don't know, we're starting a thing.
952 00:34:48 I mean, we're having sex and we're hanging out a lot.
953 00:34:50 - I mean, it's... - I thought it was just, like,
954 00:34:52 more, you know, casual than that.
955 00:34:55 You know?
956 00:35:00 Well, you don't want me to go to any, like, life events?
957 00:35:03 Life... What's a life event?
958 00:35:06 What does that, what does that even mean?
959 00:35:10 You know what? It's fine.
960 00:35:11 - What? - No, it's fine.
961 00:35:13 Come back.
962 00:35:14 I'm sor... Wait.
963 00:35:15 Wai...
964 00:35:17 - You know what? You're right. - What?
965 00:35:19 What are you talking about? I'm never right.
966 00:35:21 No, you're right. We shouldn't do this anymore.
967 00:35:22 I don't want to fucking do this anymore.
968 00:35:24 What are you talking about? I don't understand.
969 00:35:26 It was all a mistake. It was a mistake.
970 00:35:28 But it's fine. We're on the same page.
971 00:35:29 We'll go back to what it was before.
972 00:35:31 I'll treat you like I do Oscar and Richie.
973 00:35:33 I-It's not even that.
974 00:35:34 It's just, like, I-I don't know what I want yet.
975 00:35:36 Like, I'm trying to figure my shit out.
976 00:35:37 And you should. Please do. Figure your shit out.
977 00:35:39 But we're not gonna have sex anymore, okay?
978 00:35:41 I got to go.
979 00:35:44 I should've invited you to the party!
980 00:35:46 I didn't know it was a life event!
981 00:35:49 Oh. Oh.
982 00:35:51 I-I already arranged to, uh, pay directly at the hospital.
983 00:35:53 But if you want a check, just give me two minutes, okay?
984 00:35:55 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm-I'm... I-I want to pay.
985 00:35:57 I'm gonna pay for it. I'm gonna pay for it.
986 00:35:59 No, no, no. I'm gonna pay for it.
987 00:36:00 And I'm, and I'm also gonna talk to Scott
988 00:36:02 because that was totally out of line, totally nuts.
989 00:36:04 Yeah, I-I understand that.
990 00:36:06 But, uh, look, I just wanted to apologize, okay?
991 00:36:09 I-I got a little out of control before, uh...
992 00:36:12 You know, I just, I let my anger get the best of me.
993 00:36:15 Broke my stupid resolution.
994 00:36:18 God knows it's what messed up my marriage,
995 00:36:20 and I-I just really wanted to apologize, okay?
996 00:36:22 I mean, I was upset,
997 00:36:23 but I-I shouldn't have conveyed it that way.
998 00:36:25 There's no need to apologize.
999 00:36:26 My kid's being a fucking lunatic. It's not cool.
1000 00:36:28 Oh, I... I overreacted. He's fine.
1001 00:36:31 No, it's the tip of the iceberg.
1002 00:36:33 Ah, you know, lot of kids do stuff like this.
1003 00:36:36 Mm, kids don't do stuff like this.
1004 00:36:38 He did the second-worst thing
1005 00:36:39 you could do to a kid in the woods.
1006 00:36:43 Well, either way, I shouldn't have behaved the way I behaved.
1007 00:36:47 So, I'm truly sorry.
1008 00:36:49 Apology accepted. It's nice.
1009 00:36:51 Don't get many of those around here.
1010 00:36:53 - Thanks. - Oh, hey, this might seem
1011 00:36:55 a little crazy, but, uh...
1012 00:36:57 can I take you out for a cup of coffee?
1013 00:36:59 So, Scott did this.
1014 00:37:03 Oh. Is that a cocker spaniel?
1015 00:37:05 No. No, that's my daughter.
1016 00:37:08 - That's Claire. - Oh.
1017 00:37:09 Oh, yeah, yeah. I can...
1018 00:37:10 - Yeah, I just thought... - No, it's okay.
1019 00:37:11 - I thought those were ears. - Um, it's okay.
1020 00:37:12 - That's her hair. Okay, yep. - I know. I hear that.
1021 00:37:13 Scott got his first tattoo when he was 16.
1022 00:37:17 - Oh, okay. - It was of Kermit the Frog.
1023 00:37:19 Oh.
1024 00:37:21 - That's kind of cute. - Yeah, yeah.
1025 00:37:23 Kermit smoking a joint, so...
1026 00:37:26 Kermit smoking a joint?
1027 00:37:28 Geez, I don't remember that episode
1028 00:37:29 on Sesame Street, huh?
1029 00:37:32 That's kind of funny. He's a funny kid, then, huh?
1030 00:37:34 - Oh, he's so funny. - Yeah?
1031 00:37:35 - He's so funny. - You think he's gonna stick it out?
1032 00:37:37 Uh, well, that I don't know.
1033 00:37:39 I mean, I sent him to art school, but he quit.
1034 00:37:41 - He-he couldn't really focus 'cause... - Oh.
1035 00:37:44 He also has ADD, so he...
1036 00:37:47 Anyway, he's a tattoo artist with ADD.
1037 00:37:50 Well, you know what?
1038 00:37:52 All the guys down at the firehouse,
1039 00:37:53 they all have tattoos and stuff, you know.
1040 00:37:55 Personally, I never got one, though, you know.
1041 00:37:57 You know, not that I have anything against them.
1042 00:37:59 I just, I just always felt I was too pasty.
1043 00:38:03 - So, the firehouse, huh? - Yeah.
1044 00:38:05 The old firehouse.
1045 00:38:06 - Mm-hmm, the old firehouse. - Yeah.
1046 00:38:09 So, you're a ladder or engine?
1047 00:38:12 Ladder.
1048 00:38:13 Knew it.
1049 00:38:15 You got firefighters in your family?
1050 00:38:17 Yeah, my husband.
1051 00:38:19 - Oh, geez. Sorry. - Yeah.
1052 00:38:20 Forgot.
1053 00:38:23 Hey, uh, I hope this isn't too forward, but do you mind
1054 00:38:26 if-if I ask what happened to your husband?
1055 00:38:30 Oh, it was a hotel fire.
1056 00:38:32 The roof collapsed.
1057 00:38:34 He went in to save somebody.
1058 00:38:35 They told him it wasn't safe, but, you know, he was like that.
1059 00:38:41 - Wait, Stan Carlin was your husband? - Mm-hmm.
1060 00:38:43 - Paramount Hotel fire? - Yeah, yeah.
1061 00:38:44 Did you know him?
1062 00:38:45 - You, you... Or you heard... - No, no, no, I...
1063 00:38:47 Hung out with him or...?
1064 00:38:49 No, I j... I just heard about him.
1065 00:38:50 - Oh. - He was a real brave guy.
1066 00:38:51 - Yeah. - He was kind of a,
1067 00:38:53 kind of a legend, to be honest with you.
1068 00:38:55 Yeah. Yeah.
1069 00:38:57 And Scott was only seven when it happened, so...
1070 00:39:00 - Oh, that's tough. - A lot of consequences.
1071 00:39:02 - Yeah, that's a tough situation, but... - Yeah.
1072 00:39:05 But I-I got to tell you, you did a great job, you know?
1073 00:39:08 See, I mean, I...
1074 00:39:09 I know we had a little bit of a difference there,
1075 00:39:11 - but, I mean, he's a good kid. - Uh-huh.
1076 00:39:12 And I got to tell you, if-if the worst he's doing is-is,
1077 00:39:14 you know, a couple unlawful tattoos,
1078 00:39:16 - you-you did a hell of a job. - Yeah.
1079 00:39:18 Yeah, I don't think that's the worst he's doing, though.
1080 00:39:21 Oh.
1081 00:39:23 - Yeah. - Well, I don't know.
1082 00:39:24 You know, uh, that's how kids are, you know?
1083 00:39:27 Everybody gets it at a different time.
1084 00:39:30 Anyways, what are you, uh...
1085 00:39:32 I-I'm just sitting here, doing all the talking here.
1086 00:39:33 What do you, what do you do?
1087 00:39:35 I'm a nurse.
1088 00:39:37 I'm a school nurse.
1089 00:39:38 I'm also an ER nurse.
1090 00:39:40 - You work in the ER? - Mm-hmm.
1091 00:39:43 Jesus Christ, Margie, we probably met each other.
1092 00:39:46 Could be.
1093 00:39:47 So, how you doing?
1094 00:39:48 I'm...
1095 00:39:50 very tired.
1096 00:39:52 Really? Well, you don't look tired.
1097 00:39:55 No, seriously, you look great.
1098 00:39:56 - Really? - Yeah.
1099 00:39:58 I just don't, like... I mean, are you flirting with me or...?
1100 00:40:02 - Yeah. - Yeah?
1101 00:40:04 Yeah, a lot. This is, this is what it looks like.
1102 00:40:06 It is really subtle. I couldn't...
1103 00:40:08 I can't tell what's going on.
1104 00:40:09 This is how it looks. I'm very subtle.
1105 00:40:10 All right.
1106 00:40:11 - I'm rusty. You're subtle. - Okay.
1107 00:40:13 - Yeah, yeah. - Nice to meet you.
1108 00:40:16 I see you out there, man. You're doing great.
1109 00:40:18 Keep... Just keep doing what you're doing.
1110 00:40:20 Have a good time, you know?
1111 00:40:21 The more fun you have, the more fun the customers have.
1112 00:40:24 All right, thanks.
1113 00:40:28 Hey, busboy, why is table 12 still dirty?
1114 00:40:30 Oh, 'cause they were talking.
1115 00:40:31 I didn't think I should interrupt them, but...
1116 00:40:33 Interrupt them. Get them out of here.
1117 00:40:35 - All right. - Do your job.
1118 00:40:36 - Sorry. Whoa. - Take it easy there, brother.
1119 00:40:39 - My bad. - Jesus. - Thank you.
1120 00:40:41 Uh, hi. Uh, are you done enjoying your meal?
1121 00:40:44 There is food in my mouth, and I am chewing.
1122 00:40:46 Do you think that I'm finished?
1123 00:40:48 I'm just holding this for my health?
1124 00:40:49 - Get me some water. - Sorry.
1125 00:40:50 - Hey, come here. Come here. Can we order? - Uh, yeah.
1126 00:40:53 - I'll go get your waiter. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no.
1127 00:40:54 We don't have time for that. We're in a hurry.
1128 00:40:56 I'm starving.
1129 00:40:57 Okay. Can I go?
1130 00:40:58 Usually, the woman goes first, but go ahead.
1131 00:41:00 - No, no, no, no. - Oh, yeah?
1132 00:41:00 - How about I'm paying? - All right.
1133 00:41:01 Can I have a chicken parm with meat sauce?
1134 00:41:05 No marinara.
1135 00:41:06 Thin. Thin chicken parm.
1136 00:41:09 Why aren't you writing it down?
1137 00:41:10 Yeah, I-I can't actually because, uh, I'm not a waiter.
1138 00:41:13 I'm just a busboy, so they don't even give me a pen.
1139 00:41:16 Memorize it. Yeah.
1140 00:41:18 Seafood pasta. That's what I want.
1141 00:41:20 No clams, okay? Double up on the shrimp.
1142 00:41:21 That's how I always get it. We come here all the time.
1143 00:41:24 I'm not gonna remember a word you guys just said.
1144 00:41:26 It's not rocket science. Just go.
1145 00:41:28 - Get our shit. - Oh, I'm... All right.
1146 00:41:29 I'm starving.
1147 00:41:30 Send me the addy, I'm hunting 'em down
1148 00:41:32 Send me the addy, I'm hunting 'em down
1149 00:41:34 Grrt, grrt...
1150 00:41:35 There a dance party or something?
1151 00:41:37 - It's fight night. - All right, fight night!
1152 00:41:39 Tournament of champions!
1153 00:41:41 Fighting for tips.
1154 00:41:42 Who's going? Who's going first?
1155 00:41:43 - I, Zoots. - Zoots.
1156 00:41:45 - Everyone fights for their tips. - The tips that we earn?
1157 00:41:48 Y-Yeah, but you have to fight for them now.
1158 00:41:51 Who wants some?! Huh?!
1159 00:41:53 - Huh? - Who got it?! - It's you, bro.
1160 00:41:55 - No way. No, no way. - Put the gloves on.
1161 00:41:57 Get in there. Get in there. Hit him.
1162 00:41:59 - Hey, yo. - Hey.
1163 00:42:00 I don't want... Please, I don... I-I don't want to do this.
1164 00:42:02 - Let's just not do this. - You don't want to do this?
1165 00:42:04 - What do you mean? - No, well, 'cause we're friends, right?
1166 00:42:06 Yeah, no, for the next 15 seconds,
1167 00:42:07 this friendship is over, son.
1168 00:42:09 - Understand that? - What?
1169 00:42:10 - Hmm? - What?
1170 00:42:11 Got to understand, fighting is serious.
1171 00:42:13 - I don't like it. - It's sacred.
1172 00:42:14 It's how I tribute my Lord and Savior.
1173 00:42:16 - What? - It's the way I tribute
1174 00:42:17 my Lord and Savior, Jesus.
1175 00:42:18 I don't think Jesus would want you
1176 00:42:20 to kick my ass right now.
1177 00:42:20 He would want me to have these tips.
1178 00:42:21 - That's what he means. - You can have the tips.
1179 00:42:23 I don't even want 'em.
1180 00:42:24 - What is this? - I don't know.
1181 00:42:25 What's this shit?
1182 00:42:26 I've seen Creed a f... a couple times.
1183 00:42:27 - What'd you do? - I seen Creed a couple times.
1184 00:42:29 - Oh. - Are we about to do the Cotton Eye Joe?
1185 00:42:31 - Yeah. - Yeah.
1186 00:42:32 - Come on, son. - Okay.
1187 00:42:34 - Yeah. Okay. - Come on, son. Oh, that's right.
1188 00:42:35 You gonna come this way? Come this way, boy.
1189 00:42:36 - Okay. - Come on. Go ahead, take your shot, boy.
1190 00:42:38 - Go ahead, take your shot, boy. - For real?
1191 00:42:39 - Uh-huh, yeah. Come on! - Ooh!
1192 00:42:41 Now we are friends,
1193 00:42:44 - goddamn it! - Oh, geez.
1194 00:42:46 Take that shit. Yeah!
1195 00:42:48 We friends now, nigga, 'cause that's what friends are for.
1196 00:42:53 Out this bitch.
1197 00:42:57 Zoots done did it again, uh
1198 00:42:58 Said Zoots done did it again, ah...
1199 00:43:00 I think we have a winner.
1200 00:43:04 - Come here. - Mm-hmm.
1201 00:43:05 Mm.
1202 00:43:08 Mm. Let me just...
1203 00:43:09 - Just want to get this sweater off. - Okay.
1204 00:43:11 And I want to turn off this light.
1205 00:43:13 Let me turn it off.
1206 00:43:14 - Okay. - Okay.
1207 00:43:19 Just one-one second.
1208 00:43:21 Let me, let me, let me turn off this light.
1209 00:43:23 Got a lot of lamps, huh?
1210 00:43:26 It's like a store or something.
1211 00:43:27 Come here.
1212 00:43:29 Mm.
1213 00:43:38 - Nice - Oh
1214 00:43:43 You what's up, girl, ain't got to ask it
1215 00:43:46 I dead 'em all now, I buy the caskets
1216 00:43:49 They should arrest you or whoever dressed you
1217 00:43:51 Ain't gon' stress you
1218 00:43:52 But I'm-a let you know, girl, you be killin' 'em
1219 00:43:55 You be killin' 'em
1220 00:43:56 Girl, you be killin' 'em
1221 00:43:57 Uh-uh, oh
1222 00:43:59 Often imitated, never duplicated
1223 00:44:01 They say she a dime, I say she underrated
1224 00:44:03 - Nice - I just met her
1225 00:44:05 So the next solution
1226 00:44:06 Dead my old chick, execution
1227 00:44:09 You what's up, girl, ain't got to ask it
1228 00:44:11 I dead 'em all now, I buy the caskets
1229 00:44:14 Girl, you be killin' 'em
1230 00:44:15 You be killin' 'em
1231 00:44:16 Girl, you be killin' 'em
1232 00:44:18 You be killin' 'em
1233 00:44:19 Girl, you be killin' 'em...
1234 00:44:20 - Scott? - Yo.
1235 00:44:22 Come sit down.
1236 00:44:23 I need to talk to you about something.
1237 00:44:26 What's up?
1238 00:44:27 Someone die?
1239 00:44:29 No, no, nobody's dead.
1240 00:44:31 Thank God.
1241 00:44:34 I'm seeing somebody.
1242 00:44:36 What does that mean?
1243 00:44:38 Uh, uh, I'm seeing a man.
1244 00:44:40 Well, I-I've been dating someone for a little while now.
1245 00:44:43 You're dating someone?
1246 00:44:45 That-That's awesome.
1247 00:44:46 Like, w-why are you dating him secretly, you little slut?
1248 00:44:49 W-Why didn't you tell me?
1249 00:44:51 Is he, like, really, really old or...
1250 00:44:53 or is he really, really young?
1251 00:44:55 Is it one of my friends? Is it Igor?
1252 00:44:56 No, no, no. I just, I...
1253 00:44:59 I just didn't want to bother you unless it was really serious.
1254 00:45:03 Bother? You're my mom.
1255 00:45:04 I hope you're getting banged out real good.
1256 00:45:05 Who's the lucky guy?
1257 00:45:06 Uh, it's, um...
1258 00:45:10 It's Ray.
1259 00:45:12 Who's Ray?
1260 00:45:14 Remember the kid you tattooed?
1261 00:45:16 His father.
1262 00:45:17 - That fucking prick? - Yeah, I know.
1263 00:45:20 He's a really nice man, and he's really good to me.
1264 00:45:23 - And he's a fireman. - He's a fireman?!
1265 00:45:26 That's fucked up.
1266 00:45:27 - Why? - W-What do you mean, why?
1267 00:45:28 I mean, uh, you haven't dated anyone in 17 years since Dad,
1268 00:45:31 and the first guy you date is a fireman?
1269 00:45:33 You don't think that's a little fucking weird?
1270 00:45:34 I got nothing against firemen.
1271 00:45:36 Neither do I, but the-the guy doesn't like me,
1272 00:45:38 and he has the same job as Dad, like...
1273 00:45:41 I'm fucked up as it is, Mom. Like, I have Crohn's, okay?
1274 00:45:44 There's something wrong up here. Huh.
1275 00:45:46 I can't find my watch!
1276 00:45:47 What are you trying to do to me here?!
1277 00:45:49 Haven't I been through enough?!
1278 00:45:50 Wait, what did I, what did I do wrong?
1279 00:45:51 W-What did I do wrong? What did I do?
1280 00:45:53 What... I'm sorry. Like, what did I do?
1281 00:45:55 I'm not, I'm not doing it to you.
1282 00:45:56 I just... I-I don't want to be alone the rest of my life.
1283 00:45:59 I don't want you to be alone, either.
1284 00:46:00 That would suck, but, like, come on. This is, like...
1285 00:46:02 This is pretty obvious this is not a good choice, right?
1286 00:46:06 I would like us to have dinner.
1287 00:46:09 I... This is very, very important to me.
1288 00:46:11 I am in a serious relationship...
1289 00:46:12 - You're in a serious rela... - ...with a very nice man.
1290 00:46:14 With that guy?! Come on!
1291 00:46:16 Y-You don't love him, do you?
1292 00:46:17 You're not say... You're not, like, saying that, right?
1293 00:46:19 I-I... Well, we don't use that word yet.
1294 00:46:21 But if he said it to me, I-I would say it back.
1295 00:46:24 Oh, my God! Jesus!
1296 00:46:27 Do you not learn?!
1297 00:46:29 Look what happened last time!
1298 00:46:31 - You want to do that again? - Okay. All right?
1299 00:46:33 How about this?
1300 00:46:33 How about we come by the restaurant
1301 00:46:35 and we have dinner when you're working
1302 00:46:37 and you just come by and you just say hi?
1303 00:46:39 Just say hi a couple times. How about that?
1304 00:46:41 How about that?
1305 00:46:42 How about... Why don't you ask him?
1306 00:46:45 Huh?
1307 00:46:46 Why don't you just build
1308 00:46:47 another shrine to Ray while you're at it?
1309 00:46:49 Right across from Dad's so they can be fucking pals!
1310 00:46:54 Yeah, I like that better.
1311 00:46:55 But I'm actually finding you funny
1312 00:46:57 'cause you're really funny.
1313 00:46:59 Look at this guy.
1314 00:47:00 - Having the time of his life. - Mm-hmm.
1315 00:47:03 Acting like he owns the place.
1316 00:47:05 I know that guy. Eggplant parmesan.
1317 00:47:08 Oh. I'll be.
1318 00:47:09 Your moms is a bit of a baddie.
1319 00:47:12 She look postcoital.
1320 00:47:13 - What's "postcoital"? - It's like post-fucking,
1321 00:47:15 but it's your mom, so I want to be nice.
1322 00:47:17 But, uh, oh, it's definitely happening.
1323 00:47:24 Postcoital.
1324 00:47:26 If you ever come to see me,
1325 00:47:28 if you ever come see me, that's...
1326 00:47:29 - It'll happen that night, I guarantee it. - Yeah, I know.
1327 00:47:30 Oh, here he is.
1328 00:47:32 - Hey. - Hey.
1329 00:47:33 - How you doing? - Good. How are you?
1330 00:47:34 Good to see you again. Yeah.
1331 00:47:35 Uh, I'm-I'm really sorry for branding your kid.
1332 00:47:38 Oh, no, no, no. It's-it's fine. It's fine.
1333 00:47:40 Cost 350, but I didn't make your mom pay for it.
1334 00:47:44 But, uh, hey, no harm, no foul.
1335 00:47:46 You know? 'Cause, uh, if that didn't happen, I, uh...
1336 00:47:49 wouldn't have met this lovely lady.
1337 00:47:51 Oh, well, happy to help.
1338 00:47:53 Things work out.
1339 00:47:54 Yeah.
1340 00:47:56 Thank God I did what I did, then.
1341 00:47:58 Uh, would you guys like to start with still
1342 00:48:00 or, uh, sparkling water?
1343 00:48:01 - Oh, let's go sparkling. - Uh, spar... Yeah.
1344 00:48:03 Yeah? You like sparkling?
1345 00:48:04 - Yeah. - Okay.
1346 00:48:05 Yeah. Oh, can we get some more bread, too?
1347 00:48:07 - Usually go still. - You know?
1348 00:48:08 Last time I came here, it came out hot.
1349 00:48:09 - Yeah. - It was... oh, it was perfect.
1350 00:48:11 It's like my mom made it.
1351 00:48:13 Sure.
1352 00:48:14 Sparkling and hot bread.
1353 00:48:15 All right. Thanks, buddy.
1354 00:48:20 Oh, you just can't spit on that like that, man.
1355 00:48:22 You got to be crafty. You can't just go out at, like...
1356 00:48:25 You got to, you got to maneuver.
1357 00:48:26 Lick on it or put a boogie in it or something.
1358 00:48:29 You think I can fit this whole thing in my ass?
1359 00:48:31 If, uh, you really put your mind to it, bro.
1360 00:48:37 Hey, I saw him spit in the bread.
1361 00:48:42 All right, scorching hot bread.
1362 00:48:44 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah.
1363 00:48:46 Your mom's in the john. Have a seat.
1364 00:48:47 Oh, don't worry, you're not gonna get in trouble.
1365 00:48:50 Just for a minute.
1366 00:48:52 All right.
1367 00:48:55 So... how, uh, how you liking the job here?
1368 00:48:59 Uh, it eats ass.
1369 00:49:03 You know, I remember I... Back in the day,
1370 00:49:05 I used to work at that, uh, you know that pizza parlor
1371 00:49:07 - down there on Main Street? - Mm.
1372 00:49:08 You remember the one? Yeah. I-I used to work down there.
1373 00:49:10 I loved it. You know, making the pizzas.
1374 00:49:13 Girls would come in, you know.
1375 00:49:14 It's like they just had to talk to me.
1376 00:49:17 Yeah.
1377 00:49:18 Well, that's awesome.
1378 00:49:19 I'm glad you got laid a lot at your pizza place.
1379 00:49:25 All right. Listen, Scott.
1380 00:49:27 I-I know this is weird, okay?
1381 00:49:30 You and your mom were alone together for a long time.
1382 00:49:32 You got set in your ways, you know?
1383 00:49:35 You got used to things.
1384 00:49:37 But I don't know, I just feel like
1385 00:49:38 your mother deserves more right now.
1386 00:49:40 And I'm serious, I really think that I can make her happy,
1387 00:49:43 and she makes me happy.
1388 00:49:45 So, I mean, that-that's a good thing, right?
1389 00:49:48 Yeah. Yeah, I think it's a great thing.
1390 00:49:50 I... I want my mom to be happy more than anything, so...
1391 00:49:53 Good. I do, too.
1392 00:49:55 So, uh, what's your sport?
1393 00:49:57 - Uh, I like basketball. - Oh, yeah?
1394 00:49:59 - Mm-hmm. - What position?
1395 00:50:00 Uh, I played small forward.
1396 00:50:02 - Small forward. - Yeah.
1397 00:50:03 All right. I'm kind of a baseball guy myself.
1398 00:50:04 - Oh, yeah? - You like, uh...
1399 00:50:06 I'm an old man. I like that stuff.
1400 00:50:07 I got season tickets to the Yankees.
1401 00:50:08 - No way. Really? That's cool. - Yeah.
1402 00:50:10 I think it's Staten Island's year.
1403 00:50:11 Oh, Staten Island Yankees.
1404 00:50:13 - Minor League. - Oh, absolutely.
1405 00:50:16 I'm not gonna go pay to see those overpaid crybabies.
1406 00:50:18 They try harder at the Minor League level.
1407 00:50:20 Plus, I'm a Red Sox fan. I'm never setting foot
1408 00:50:22 - in that stadium. - Well, I-I should get back
1409 00:50:23 to work, uh, before I get yelled at.
1410 00:50:25 - Okay. Go ahead. - So, yeah.
1411 00:50:27 - Absolutely. All right. - All right, man.
1412 00:50:28 Uh, enjoy the hot bread.
1413 00:50:30 - Hey. - Okay, cool.
1414 00:50:31 Hey.
1415 00:50:32 What are you fellas talking about?
1416 00:50:34 - Hey, Mom. - Oh, I was just asking Scott
1417 00:50:35 if he wanted to go to a Yankee game sometime.
1418 00:50:38 Oh, what did Scott say?
1419 00:50:41 S-Scott... Scott said yeah.
1420 00:50:44 All right, who's fighting tonight?!
1421 00:50:46 I want to fight somebody!
1422 00:50:48 Oh, I'm sorry, Pepe.
1423 00:50:50 Don't take this personally.
1424 00:50:53 Oh!
1425 00:50:55 What happened?
1426 00:50:56 That was just a jab.
1427 00:50:59 Oh, it's okay, Pepe.
1428 00:51:00 - It's all right. - You s... You sure?
1429 00:51:01 Yeah.
1430 00:51:02 I-I mean, I never done that before, so...
1431 00:51:05 I feel bad for you.
1432 00:51:21 Down on the corner
1433 00:51:23 Out in the street
1434 00:51:25 Willy and the Poor Boys...
1435 00:51:26 How you doing? Thank you.
1436 00:51:28 Thank you. Thank you.
1437 00:51:30 Rooster hits the washboard
1438 00:51:32 And people just got to smile
1439 00:51:34 Blinky thumps the gut bass and solos for a while
1440 00:51:38 Poor Boy twangs the rhythm out...
1441 00:51:41 May I please remind you
1442 00:51:42 that there is no flash photography.
1443 00:51:43 How are you? How are you? You guys still sober?
1444 00:51:53 - Shitty throw. Shitty throw, though. - That's how you do it!
1445 00:51:56 All right, there we go. There we go.
1446 00:51:58 Let's go, baby, let's go.
1447 00:52:00 Look alive!
1448 00:52:03 Think we're gonna take these pansy Spinners tonight?
1449 00:52:05 Oh, man, we can't take the Spinners,
1450 00:52:07 - you might as well just shut it down. - Mm.
1451 00:52:09 We should just pack it in,
1452 00:52:10 send these guys back to Single-A.
1453 00:52:11 My kid's Little League team could give these guys
1454 00:52:13 a run for their money.
1455 00:52:14 These guys are all on the job, too.
1456 00:52:17 The old ballbuster here...
1457 00:52:19 he's the senior man of the house.
1458 00:52:21 Did you call me a senior?
1459 00:52:23 You're the one who's bald.
1460 00:52:24 Come on, Papa. I'm just fucking around.
1461 00:52:26 Hey, you want a hot dog?
1462 00:52:27 Oh, no, I can't. I, uh, I have Crohn's.
1463 00:52:30 What's that?
1464 00:52:31 It's, like, when the lining of your stomach is all messed up,
1465 00:52:34 so it makes you shit all the time.
1466 00:52:37 Oh, thanks for sharing.
1467 00:52:40 Next time, just say, "I don't want a hot dog."
1468 00:52:42 All right, I'm just trying to spread awareness.
1469 00:52:46 There we go. There we go.
1470 00:52:47 - Nice hit. Nice hit. - Looking good, guys.
1471 00:52:50 Way to hustle.
1472 00:52:52 Number 26...
1473 00:52:53 Hey, uh...
1474 00:52:55 you ever think about putting on the jacket?
1475 00:52:59 - No. - What are you laughing about?
1476 00:53:01 'Cause it's a stupid question, Ray.
1477 00:53:04 - What do you mean, stupid? - It's fucking stupid.
1478 00:53:07 Would you ask the kids of that teacher who blew up in space
1479 00:53:09 if they want to be an astronaut?
1480 00:53:11 Whoa, I don't think that lady had any kids, though.
1481 00:53:13 Yeah, I'm sure she didn't 'cause she died in space.
1482 00:53:16 It's hard to have kids when you're dead in space.
1483 00:53:19 Look, I-I could tell you how I feel about firemen,
1484 00:53:22 but I-I don't think you guys want to hear my opinion.
1485 00:53:24 - No, no, no, please tell us. - No, no. No, no, no.
1486 00:53:26 - No. I want to hear it. - You don't got to do this, man.
1487 00:53:28 - Come on. - All right, no.
1488 00:53:29 - Yeah. Okay, how about this? - Come on, you don't...
1489 00:53:31 Uh, if you're a fireman, just don't have kids
1490 00:53:33 or a family at all, okay?
1491 00:53:34 So that way, you don't fucking crush them
1492 00:53:36 when you don't come home that one time, you know?
1493 00:53:39 And-and you're just so selfish.
1494 00:53:40 You just hang out with your boys all day
1495 00:53:42 like it's a fucking frat house.
1496 00:53:43 Half the time, you're not even putting out fires.
1497 00:53:46 You're just jerking off, watching Scarface, okay?
1498 00:53:49 - All right, take it easy, man. - No, I'm just saying.
1499 00:53:51 And it's wrong to tell a kid that you're gonna be there
1500 00:53:53 for him for his whole entire life.
1501 00:53:54 Yeah, but you miss graduation, your birthdays, okay?
1502 00:53:57 Uh, my d... my prom dances.
1503 00:53:59 That's a very mean thing to do to children.
1504 00:54:01 And, uh, if you have a family,
1505 00:54:03 - y-you're an asshole. - No, listen, no.
1506 00:54:04 Take it easy, take it easy.
1507 00:54:05 - Well, that's one way to look at it. - Yeah.
1508 00:54:07 Tell that to my dad.
1509 00:54:11 Oh, but you can't, 'cause he's dead.
1510 00:54:15 Anybody got a good response to that?
1511 00:54:17 Yeah!
1512 00:54:20 Again!
1513 00:54:22 Whoo!
1514 00:54:23 What a game. What a game.
1515 00:54:26 So, what, I shouldn't have kids?
1516 00:54:28 No, you... you should have kids.
1517 00:54:30 I'm gonna have kids.
1518 00:54:31 You know, maybe you should take a cue
1519 00:54:33 from your shirt, you know? Smile.
1520 00:54:35 Lighten up.
1521 00:54:38 That's actually kind of funny.
1522 00:54:40 Guy's all right. Why can't you be more like him?
1523 00:54:42 He's all right.
1524 00:54:43 Why can't you not embarrass me like this?
1525 00:54:46 I'm sorry.
1526 00:54:47 I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends.
1527 00:54:53 And just-just stick to your guns.
1528 00:54:55 All right? It'll be fine.
1529 00:54:57 Hey. Hey!
1530 00:54:58 Come on in.
1531 00:54:59 Come have breakfast with us.
1532 00:55:01 I made pancakes, and I made the sausage that you like,
1533 00:55:04 an omelet.
1534 00:55:05 Come, come, come, come sit.
1535 00:55:06 Man, these eggs are spectacular.
1536 00:55:08 With the onions and the peppers.
1537 00:55:10 I love it. I love it.
1538 00:55:14 Did, uh, did he sp-spend the night?
1539 00:55:17 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
1540 00:55:19 He slept here.
1541 00:55:20 In this house.
1542 00:55:21 I'm an adult. I can do that.
1543 00:55:25 I-I need to talk to you about something.
1544 00:55:28 Okay.
1545 00:55:29 I was thinking that it's time
1546 00:55:31 to think about getting your own apartment.
1547 00:55:33 What?
1548 00:55:34 W-Why would you say that?
1549 00:55:36 Well...
1550 00:55:39 You are so awesome.
1551 00:55:41 And I think I've been there for you too much.
1552 00:55:45 'Cause sometimes in life, the thing that's motivating
1553 00:55:48 is when people don't have that safety net.
1554 00:55:51 Right, right, but I need that safety net
1555 00:55:53 'cause I don't have my shit together.
1556 00:55:54 So, like, uh, w-why are you doing this?
1557 00:55:56 Is this 'cause of him?
1558 00:55:58 No.
1559 00:56:00 It's just you're 24 years old now.
1560 00:56:03 24. I mean, Phelps had a fistful of gold medals by 24.
1561 00:56:06 Why are you talking?
1562 00:56:08 I'm just giving you some perspective, that's all.
1563 00:56:11 You know, Wayne Gretzky had, like, 96 goals when he was 24.
1564 00:56:14 W-What?
1565 00:56:15 Roger Staubach graduated West Point,
1566 00:56:18 won a Heisman Trophy, fought in the Vietnam War,
1567 00:56:21 and then joined the Cowboys by the time he was 24.
1568 00:56:23 I don't know who that is, so, s-so who-who gives a fuck?
1569 00:56:27 I think that maybe you're-you're ready
1570 00:56:29 and you just don't even know it.
1571 00:56:31 So, you're kicking me out?
1572 00:56:33 No, no.
1573 00:56:34 I just want you to get your own apartment by summer.
1574 00:56:37 Right, so you're kicking me out of the house.
1575 00:56:39 That's nine months from now.
1576 00:56:41 I mean, you-you could have a baby in nine months.
1577 00:56:43 It's a long time.
1578 00:56:44 Are you moving in? Are you trying to push me out?
1579 00:56:46 What, like, what did I do? I-I thought we were cool.
1580 00:56:49 Scott, Scott, let's all be adults here. Come on.
1581 00:56:51 Your mother has worked very hard for a very long time.
1582 00:56:53 And I'm gonna retire in a couple years,
1583 00:56:55 so things are gonna change around here, but in a good way.
1584 00:56:59 I mean, w-we think you... that you can do great things.
1585 00:57:01 Yeah, I know I'm gonna do great things.
1586 00:57:03 But, like, I don't need you to tell me that, like...
1587 00:57:05 This is... What's going on?
1588 00:57:07 This is... I-I...
1589 00:57:09 I don't like this.
1590 00:57:10 So, be that as it may,
1591 00:57:12 until you leave... which is gonna be good for you
1592 00:57:14 and it's gonna be motivating...
1593 00:57:16 you're gonna have to pull your weight
1594 00:57:17 a little more around here.
1595 00:57:18 And one thing that we thought would help you contribute...
1596 00:57:22 would be easy, wouldn't be hard to do...
1597 00:57:24 is to help Ray bring his kids back and forth to school
1598 00:57:28 when he can't do it because of work.
1599 00:57:31 Like now.
1600 00:57:33 Like today.
1601 00:57:36 You're joking, right?
1602 00:57:38 You want me to take your kid to school?
1603 00:57:41 The kid that I tattooed?
1604 00:57:43 I got two kids. The other one's seven.
1605 00:57:46 You're gonna make me babysit your kids?
1606 00:57:48 Do... I'm on... I do drugs.
1607 00:57:51 Well, looks like you're walking.
1608 00:57:54 And thank you.
1609 00:57:56 I'm not cool with any of this, okay?
1610 00:57:59 And-and where do you expect me to live?
1611 00:58:01 And w-with what money?
1612 00:58:02 You know I'm a fucking bum, right?
1613 00:58:04 Yo, this is fucked up! Seriously.
1614 00:58:06 Especially after last night, all that bonding boy bullshit.
1615 00:58:11 You're full of shit, man.
1616 00:58:12 You're a fucking liar.
1617 00:58:14 I'm gonna go walk your kids.
1618 00:58:17 No, I'm not fucking letting you take 'em.
1619 00:58:19 Fuck you. Who the fuck are you?
1620 00:58:22 Yeah, I-I agree with you completely.
1621 00:58:23 Why... 'cause that... It was Ray's idea.
1622 00:58:25 I don't think I should be taking them, either.
1623 00:58:27 I agree with you.
1624 00:58:30 Are you a weirdo?
1625 00:58:32 Oh, the weirdest.
1626 00:58:33 Nobody's weirder than me.
1627 00:58:35 See, a weirdo wouldn't say that.
1628 00:58:37 A weirdo would deny it.
1629 00:58:39 So, do I have to take 'em or...?
1630 00:58:45 Yes.
1631 00:58:46 God, no.
1632 00:58:48 I mean, Ray was supposed to do it.
1633 00:58:50 I can't fucking do it.
1634 00:58:51 Their schools start half an hour apart
1635 00:58:53 on the other side of town.
1636 00:58:59 So, your mom is banging my ex?
1637 00:59:02 Yeah, I'm not thrilled about it, either.
1638 00:59:05 Yeah, well, you shouldn't be.
1639 00:59:07 Harold. Kelly.
1640 00:59:09 Come here. Come here.
1641 00:59:11 There's something, something kind of fun.
1642 00:59:14 Come here. Come here.
1643 00:59:15 Oh, hey, man.
1644 00:59:17 So, this is Harold, and this is Kelly.
1645 00:59:20 And, uh, this is...
1646 00:59:24 Scott.
1647 00:59:25 Scott. He's gonna be taking care of you.
1648 00:59:28 - Okay? It... - Nice to meet you, Scott.
1649 00:59:30 Hi, Harold. It's nice to meet you.
1650 00:59:32 For the very first time.
1651 00:59:34 If he does anything weird,
1652 00:59:36 you tell me.
1653 00:59:37 Even if he tells you not to tell me, you tell me.
1654 00:59:40 I'm pretty sure he's not weird, but I could be wrong.
1655 00:59:44 'Kay?
1656 00:59:45 - Love you. - Okay.
1657 00:59:46 - Love you, Mom. - Seriously.
1658 00:59:47 Love you, Mom. Bye.
1659 00:59:49 Pay attention.
1660 00:59:50 Got it.
1661 00:59:52 Hold both their hands!
1662 00:59:58 Thank you.
1663 01:00:00 Look both ways. Look both ways!
1664 01:00:02 Tell her to stop.
1665 01:00:04 God!
1666 01:00:07 So, w-what do you like to do, Harold?
1667 01:00:09 I like superheroes.
1668 01:00:11 Well, so does everybody.
1669 01:00:13 No, I make up my own.
1670 01:00:15 Oh, yeah? What kind?
1671 01:00:17 Ice Flash.
1672 01:00:18 What does he do?
1673 01:00:21 He freezes stuff and shoots ice at people.
1674 01:00:26 Oh, well, that's not gonna work.
1675 01:00:28 Why not?
1676 01:00:29 I could just use a hair dryer and ruin him.
1677 01:00:31 Keep thinking, though.
1678 01:00:33 What do you got? What do you like to do?
1679 01:00:35 - I like to sing. - You do?
1680 01:00:37 Could-could you sing for me?
1681 01:00:39 Sure.
1682 01:00:40 Oh, what a beautiful morning
1683 01:00:44 Yes.
1684 01:00:45 Oh, what a beautiful day
1685 01:00:48 All right.
1686 01:00:49 I've got a wonderful feeling
1687 01:00:54 Everything's going my way.
1688 01:00:57 That shit was dope. High five.
1689 01:00:59 She's a good singer.
1690 01:01:00 I don't agree with the sentiment of the song,
1691 01:01:02 but it was really great.
1692 01:01:04 Anyway, have a great day at school.
1693 01:01:07 Uh... I hope it's not shitty,
1694 01:01:10 and, um, yeah, give your, uh, sister a kiss goodbye.
1695 01:01:13 - We don't do that. - Just do it.
1696 01:01:19 See? Wasn't that nice?
1697 01:01:21 Now, if she dies tomorrow, you'll remember that,
1698 01:01:23 that you kissed her goodbye.
1699 01:01:25 Have a good day at school.
1700 01:01:26 - Later, man. - Pay attention.
1701 01:01:29 - Why would I die? - I don't know.
1702 01:01:31 You never know what's gonna happen.
1703 01:01:33 Think you're immortal?
1704 01:01:38 This. It's this one.
1705 01:01:39 Okay. All right.
1706 01:01:43 Well, have a good day, okay?
1707 01:01:45 - Okay. - I'll see you soon, I guess.
1708 01:01:47 - Can-can I help you? - Oh, hi.
1709 01:01:49 I'm-I'm Ray's friend.
1710 01:01:51 I was just here to bring her here.
1711 01:01:54 - You-you know Ray? - I know Ray a little bit.
1712 01:01:57 He's kind of, like, banging my mom.
1713 01:01:59 So, yeah, I'm just, you know,
1714 01:02:01 just dropping her off.
1715 01:02:02 Did you sign in at the office?
1716 01:02:04 No. I didn't even know you had an office.
1717 01:02:06 Okay, um...
1718 01:02:08 Kelly? You okay?
1719 01:02:09 Yeah.
1720 01:02:11 - You sure? - Yeah.
1721 01:02:12 You know you can tell me.
1722 01:02:14 I'm okay.
1723 01:02:16 Do you know him?
1724 01:02:17 Yeah, kind of.
1725 01:02:18 He's a new friend.
1726 01:02:20 Okay.
1727 01:02:22 Oh, I trained her in the car. She's not gonna break.
1728 01:02:24 I'm just kidding.
1729 01:02:26 It's, uh... I'm not gonna hurt her.
1730 01:02:28 Um, but have a great day. I just...
1731 01:02:29 No, uh, actually, could you, uh, set up the paints?
1732 01:02:32 - No. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1733 01:02:33 - Uh, and just wash these brushes. - No.
1734 01:02:35 - Thank you so much. - No. No.
1735 01:02:36 - Thank you! - No.
1736 01:02:56 Did-did you happen to get a chance
1737 01:02:58 - to take a look at the, uh... - Yeah, I looked at your book.
1738 01:03:01 I mean, I drew like that, too, when I was 14.
1739 01:03:04 From what I saw, you don't really have the basics,
1740 01:03:07 so you got to figure that out.
1741 01:03:08 Well, yeah, that's why I'm here.
1742 01:03:10 I mean, I was hoping I can learn from you.
1743 01:03:12 Right, well, um, you'd be my apprentice.
1744 01:03:15 Uh, you'll be a slave to the shop.
1745 01:03:16 - Hey, man. As long as I get to tattoo people, right? - No.
1746 01:03:19 Never. Until I say.
1747 01:03:21 Uh, you'll be sterilizing needles, washing my car,
1748 01:03:24 taking the trash out.
1749 01:03:25 I mean, you're basically our bitch.
1750 01:03:27 So, how much will I be, like, making here?
1751 01:03:29 - Dick. - Dick.
1752 01:03:31 Okay, well...
1753 01:03:32 It's a long line of people who want this job, man.
1754 01:03:35 How do I, like, pay my rent?
1755 01:03:37 That one right there is not my problem.
1756 01:03:41 It's your first day, you're already complaining.
1757 01:03:43 It's kind of weird, huh?
1758 01:03:44 Yeah, let's not do this.
1759 01:03:46 You should take a walk.
1760 01:03:48 - Pussy. - All right.
1761 01:03:50 Well, could I ask you a question?
1762 01:03:52 If I did work here?
1763 01:03:54 Why is he still here?
1764 01:03:55 Let's say some idiot walks in, right?
1765 01:03:57 And he wants to get a tattoo of a Confederate flag
1766 01:03:59 wrapped around the Grim Reaper.
1767 01:04:00 You could tell that guy to go fuck himself, right?
1768 01:04:02 'Cause that's a ridiculous tattoo to ask for.
1769 01:04:04 It's not my place to judge people, man.
1770 01:04:06 I don't do that.
1771 01:04:08 Well, what if another guy walked in and he wanted to get
1772 01:04:10 a tattoo of his dead friend James on his chest, right?
1773 01:04:12 But you know James, and you don't want
1774 01:04:13 to give him the tattoo, 'cause you know James
1775 01:04:15 and he's an asshole and that the world's
1776 01:04:17 better off without him.
1777 01:04:18 - What do you do then? - You have a death wish?
1778 01:04:19 No, I don't have a death wish.
1779 01:04:20 But that lady on the motorcycle does.
1780 01:04:22 She's not even wearing any underwear.
1781 01:04:24 - She's gonna burn her pussy. - Do you want to do this?
1782 01:04:26 You really want to fucking do this?
1783 01:04:27 I don't want to do anything with you.
1784 01:04:28 I just want to know who killed James.
1785 01:04:29 Was it the Confederate flag man?
1786 01:04:30 Was it the motorcycle lady?
1787 01:04:31 I got to be honest, Kelsey, you look exactly like your picture.
1788 01:04:35 You're kind of thicker, more robust.
1789 01:04:38 Oh, thank you.
1790 01:04:39 - Yeah. - It's a compliment.
1791 01:04:40 You look a little bit like Antonio Banderas,
1792 01:04:44 if I squint really hard.
1793 01:04:45 Oh, please squint all night long.
1794 01:04:46 That's great.
1795 01:04:47 Chelsea, you are... I mean, Kelsey, I'm sorry.
1796 01:04:49 - Th-That's all right. It's only... - Yeah, you know.
1797 01:04:50 What's your name again?
1798 01:04:51 - I forgot already. - Um, it's Jake.
1799 01:04:53 Sorry about that.
1800 01:04:54 So, uh, w-what do you do?
1801 01:04:54 Oh, I'm studying to work in the city.
1802 01:04:56 - Oh. - Um, I want to make
1803 01:04:57 Staten Island, like, a great place again.
1804 01:05:00 Staten Island's already cool. What are you talking about?
1805 01:05:03 Yeah, it is.
1806 01:05:04 - Yeah. Yeah, it is. - You're the first person here to say that.
1807 01:05:07 Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
1808 01:05:08 It's the best place on Earth.
1809 01:05:09 Well, at least on the East Coast, I think.
1810 01:05:11 Excuse me.
1811 01:05:13 Oh, hey.
1812 01:05:15 - Hey. - Hi.
1813 01:05:16 - Hello. - Hey.
1814 01:05:19 - Hey. - Hey.
1815 01:05:21 Uh, would you guys like, uh, still or sparkling water?
1816 01:05:24 Um, you pick.
1817 01:05:27 Uh, I'm more of a sparkling guy,
1818 01:05:28 - so sparkling. - Sparkling it is.
1819 01:05:29 But I do like tequila, so if I could
1820 01:05:31 get just a Patrón, you know, with a rock.
1821 01:05:33 - That cool with you? - That's fine. Yeah, that's fine.
1822 01:05:35 - Yeah? Cool. Yeah, I prefer a tequila. - Cool.
1823 01:05:36 Tequila and rock. You guys want, like, warm bread or...
1824 01:05:38 uh, olive oil?
1825 01:05:41 Warm bread.
1826 01:05:43 Oh.
1827 01:05:44 Bro, did you scare off another customer?
1828 01:05:48 What's wrong with you?
1829 01:05:49 I'm so sorry about that.
1830 01:05:51 He has, like, nepotism, you know?
1831 01:05:54 Is that a disease?
1832 01:05:55 Yeah, it's a bad one.
1833 01:05:57 I brought that guy here to make you jealous.
1834 01:05:59 You could give a fuck.
1835 01:06:00 T-To make me jea...
1836 01:06:01 - You don't seem jealous or upset at all. - I do care.
1837 01:06:04 Of course I care.
1838 01:06:05 I chose the hottest guy on Tinder.
1839 01:06:07 Look at me. Look at me.
1840 01:06:08 Look at my tits.
1841 01:06:09 There is literally the Eiffel Tower...
1842 01:06:10 it's holding them up in here.
1843 01:06:12 You look great. I'm...
1844 01:06:13 Thank you.
1845 01:06:14 Please don't cry here. Please.
1846 01:06:15 You look awful.
1847 01:06:17 What? What do you mean? What are you...
1848 01:06:18 Your skin looks see-through and the circles around your eyes
1849 01:06:22 are so dark you look like an anorexic panda.
1850 01:06:24 I... Well, I-I know.
1851 01:06:26 - I know I do. - I don't know.
1852 01:06:27 You always look sick and pale like you have a disease
1853 01:06:30 but you don't know it yet, but you literally look like
1854 01:06:32 if I touched you, you'd just turn to dust.
1855 01:06:34 I'm sorry. I-I'm not doing very well.
1856 01:06:35 I-I'm not, you know... I...
1857 01:06:38 Well, what do I tell your date?
1858 01:06:39 I don't know. Tell him to fuck off.
1859 01:06:41 I met him ten minutes ago. He's a DJ.
1860 01:06:50 Why do you not think ice is a good superpower?
1861 01:06:53 It's amazing. I mean...
1862 01:06:55 Ice Flash can do anything with his ice.
1863 01:06:59 And it's indestructible
1864 01:07:00 'cause it's superhero ice.
1865 01:07:02 He can make giant shields that reflect anything.
1866 01:07:05 He can make giant ice tanks,
1867 01:07:09 giant ice planes and giant jets,
1868 01:07:12 helicopters that shoot giant missiles.
1869 01:07:14 I mean, think of all the possibilities.
1870 01:07:17 That's actually kind of cool.
1871 01:07:19 - Thanks. - You came up with that?
1872 01:07:21 Yeah.
1873 01:07:22 You're getting, like, really good at this.
1874 01:07:25 Thanks.
1875 01:07:26 What color is his shield?
1876 01:07:28 It's, well, the color of ice.
1877 01:07:30 Well, what's the color of ice? Is it, like, see-through?
1878 01:07:32 Like, light blue ice or is it like...?
1879 01:07:35 It's blue ice 'cause it's...
1880 01:07:37 - it's, like, superhero ice, and it's cool. - Right.
1881 01:07:40 You remember that kid Ronnie?
1882 01:07:42 His uncle owns the pharmacy.
1883 01:07:44 He gave me the key. We're gonna load up on oxys.
1884 01:07:46 So, we're robbers now. That's our future.
1885 01:07:47 Nah. Nah, nah, nah, nah. We're gonna do this one time.
1886 01:07:50 Get the money to seed our dreams.
1887 01:07:53 Get that venture capital.
1888 01:07:54 Open that tattoo restaurant you wanted.
1889 01:07:56 It's not that big a deal. Jay-Z did it.
1890 01:07:58 He sold crack to fund his rap career.
1891 01:08:00 Aren't most of Jay-Z's friends, like, dead or in jail?
1892 01:08:02 Yeah, but we're Jay-Z in this situation.
1893 01:08:05 We're not Jay-Z's friends.
1894 01:08:07 We can't all be Jay-Z.
1895 01:08:10 There can't be four Jay-Zs. That doesn't make any sense.
1896 01:08:12 You guys know I'd do anything for you, right?
1897 01:08:14 Thank you.
1898 01:08:15 - Appreciate you. - Just not this. I'm out.
1899 01:08:16 What are you talking about?
1900 01:08:17 - What? - This is crazy.
1901 01:08:19 Hey, we need you, all right? You're the lookout.
1902 01:08:21 Literally anybody can be the lookout.
1903 01:08:23 - I don't need to be a part of this. - No, no, no, no, no, no.
1904 01:08:24 We need you. You're our best friend.
1905 01:08:26 - We trust you. - Wha...
1906 01:08:27 Well, best friends don't make other best friends
1907 01:08:30 do stupid illegal shit.
1908 01:08:31 You make me do stupid shit for you all the time.
1909 01:08:33 - Like what? - Uh, I don't know.
1910 01:08:35 What about the time when you thought
1911 01:08:36 - you had testicular cancer? - Here we go.
1912 01:08:37 - Knew this was gonna come up. - All right?
1913 01:08:38 And then I drive over and you make me touch your nuts.
1914 01:08:42 I would've done it for you, bro.
1915 01:08:44 You're like, "Hey, yo, there's something wrong with my ass."
1916 01:08:46 - I'd be like, "Yo, bend over." - Come on.
1917 01:08:48 After everything we've done for you?
1918 01:08:50 What do you do for me?
1919 01:08:51 I let you tattoo my whole body.
1920 01:08:52 So what? You love my tattoos.
1921 01:08:54 You use me as a human sketchbook.
1922 01:08:56 I-I-I-I don't, really.
1923 01:08:57 I don't. Not as much as I say I do.
1924 01:09:00 I'm out of here. My bad.
1925 01:09:03 You know what?
1926 01:09:04 You're a real bitch!
1927 01:09:06 - You're a bitch! - Shh.
1928 01:09:07 Yo, don't shush me.
1929 01:09:09 - Oh. - My God, look how excited she is.
1930 01:09:11 - I'm assuming that's her. - I started running too early!
1931 01:09:17 Hey! Oh.
1932 01:09:19 Oh, oh, oh, you're so skinny.
1933 01:09:20 - Have you been eating? - Yeah.
1934 01:09:22 - Hi. - Hey.
1935 01:09:23 How are you?
1936 01:09:25 This is Ray.
1937 01:09:26 - Hey. How you doing? - Oh.
1938 01:09:27 - Nice to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you.
1939 01:09:29 Yeah, I feel like I already know you.
1940 01:09:30 Your mom talks about you all the time.
1941 01:09:32 - Oh, God. - Oh.
1942 01:09:33 No, only good stuff, only good stuff.
1943 01:09:36 Should we go eat? I am so sick of eating off a tray.
1944 01:09:38 - You hungry? - Yeah, I could eat.
1945 01:09:40 - Could always eat. - Uh-huh.
1946 01:09:42 Beautiful school.
1947 01:09:43 "Yeah, I could eat. I could always eat."
1948 01:09:46 Fucking asshole.
1949 01:09:46 Look at those two angels, huh?
1950 01:09:49 - Yeah, I know them. - Yeah.
1951 01:09:50 - Mm-hmm. - You walk them to school, don't you?
1952 01:09:52 - Yeah, I know who they are. - Oh, my God.
1953 01:09:54 - She's so cute. - Look. Look at those curls.
1954 01:09:56 We took them to see Stomp Off-Broadway.
1955 01:09:58 - They went crazy! - Oh, my God.
1956 01:10:00 I love Stomp.
1957 01:10:00 What's Stomp? What is that?
1958 01:10:02 It's the greatest musical of all time.
1959 01:10:03 Yeah, it's, like, that show where
1960 01:10:04 people play the drums on, like, garbage cans
1961 01:10:07 and, like, tap with broomsticks.
1962 01:10:08 - Stuff around the house. - Yeah.
1963 01:10:10 Like, you just see a toaster,
1964 01:10:11 we make an English muffin.
1965 01:10:13 They-they see a whole song. It's incredible.
1966 01:10:15 I know a homeless guy that plays trash can lids
1967 01:10:17 on the subway, for a dollar.
1968 01:10:19 And then he took a shit on the platform.
1969 01:10:22 Oh. Well, you know.
1970 01:10:24 I don't know if he's gonna get a Tony for that, but...
1971 01:10:27 Maybe if they keep practicing and get an adult diaper,
1972 01:10:29 they can, uh, get to Broadway someday.
1973 01:10:33 Yeah.
1974 01:10:35 So, are you guys really serious?
1975 01:10:37 Uh-oh.
1976 01:10:39 Well, actually,
1977 01:10:41 I'm going up to Boston to meet his parents at Thanksgiving.
1978 01:10:46 - Oh. - What? You're going to Boston to...
1979 01:10:48 for Thanksgiving? To wha...
1980 01:10:50 Well, where-where am I gonna go?
1981 01:10:52 - Ah, you'll come. You can come. - Yeah, me, too.
1982 01:10:53 - We can all go. - Yeah, we'd love to have you up there. - Oh.
1983 01:10:55 You think you're gonna get married again?
1984 01:10:57 Oh, boy, look what I got us into.
1985 01:10:59 Claire.
1986 01:11:01 Well, you know what? I'll...
1987 01:11:02 I'll, uh, I'll answer that, you know?
1988 01:11:04 A couple of months ago, I would've said no, but...
1989 01:11:07 Uh, can we go?
1990 01:11:08 Scott.
1991 01:11:10 Don't be rude.
1992 01:11:10 Me? I'm not being rude.
1993 01:11:12 He's talking the entire time.
1994 01:11:13 Wha... He's the one being rude.
1995 01:11:14 Was just making conversation.
1996 01:11:15 Okay, so what did you want to say?
1997 01:11:17 - Cut this shit. - Tell us now. - All I wanted to say
1998 01:11:19 was I think it's time to go, okay?
1999 01:11:20 I had a great time. This is wonderful.
2000 01:11:22 I think we all bonded.
2001 01:11:23 It's time to leave now, all right?
2002 01:11:26 Well, we're going to a party later,
2003 01:11:27 if you want to come with us.
2004 01:11:29 You just can't embarrass me.
2005 01:11:30 Sure, whatever. Let's just get the fuck out of here.
2006 01:11:34 He's in a good mood.
2007 01:11:36 Try doing it your entire life.
2008 01:11:40 - We're gonna have a good night. - Oh, yeah.
2009 01:11:42 No, we're not. I hate college parties.
2010 01:11:44 You've never been to a college party.
2011 01:11:46 Come on, just enjoy it.
2012 01:11:48 - Relax. Go with it, okay? - Yes, relax.
2013 01:11:50 Five, four, three, two, I let one go, bow
2014 01:11:53 Get the fuck, though, I don't bluff, bro
2015 01:11:55 Aiming at your head like a buffalo
2016 01:11:57 What the fuck, though? Where the love go...
2017 01:12:00 What's your major?
2018 01:12:02 It's, uh, uh, evolutionary sociology
2019 01:12:05 with-with a splash of bio.
2020 01:12:07 Oh. I-I didn't know you could do that.
2021 01:12:09 Yeah, you can do whatever the fuck you want. It's college.
2022 01:12:12 I don't huff, though, yellow diamonds up close
2023 01:12:14 Catch a sunstroke
2024 01:12:15 At your front door with a gun stowed
2025 01:12:18 Put the green in the bag like a lawn mower
2026 01:12:20 Hair trigger pulled back like a cornrow
2027 01:12:22 What the fuck, bro? Where the love go?
2028 01:12:25 I like your tattoos.
2029 01:12:27 I'm an actress, so, like, I don't think
2030 01:12:28 I can get that many tattoos, because, like,
2031 01:12:30 what if I get cast as, like, an angelic role?
2032 01:12:32 Like, I'm kind of, like, a young Winona Ryder.
2033 01:12:34 So, like, I could play those parts, and, like, also, like,
2034 01:12:37 back when Shakespeare was writing plays, like...
2035 01:12:39 Five, four, three, two, I let one go
2036 01:12:40 Bow, get the fuck, though, I don't bluff, bro
2037 01:12:43 Aiming at your head like a buffalo
2038 01:12:45 - What do you think? - What is that?
2039 01:12:48 It's a butthole.
2040 01:12:50 - Get it? - Oh, my God.
2041 01:12:51 What the fuck, though? Where the love go?
2042 01:12:54 Oh!
2043 01:12:55 - Uh-huh. - So, we're talking about how the one percent
2044 01:12:57 keeps, like, getting bigger and bigger and bigger,
2045 01:12:59 and the wealth inequality is just out of control,
2046 01:13:02 and we can't continue with capitalism this way.
2047 01:13:06 Yeah, I'm s... I'm sick of the rat race.
2048 01:13:08 Yeah, no, exactly.
2049 01:13:10 Like, what happened to the American dream?
2050 01:13:12 I know. It's like an American nightmare now.
2051 01:13:15 - Oh, my... Yeah, exa... - Right?
2052 01:13:17 What the fuck, though? Where the love go?
2053 01:13:20 Five, four, three, two, I let one go, bow
2054 01:13:22 - Bring it... Oh, shit! - Oh! Oh, shit!
2055 01:13:24 Oh, shit!
2056 01:13:28 That was fucking fun.
2057 01:13:29 I know. It was so fun.
2058 01:13:31 Yeah, like, I feel like,
2059 01:13:33 I feel like I kind of fit in for once, you know?
2060 01:13:35 And not everybody hated me for the first time.
2061 01:13:37 You should come here.
2062 01:13:38 Yeah? You think I can get into a place like this?
2063 01:13:41 I mean, you'd need a good GPA.
2064 01:13:43 Yeah, well, I don't have a good one of those.
2065 01:13:44 I-I didn't even graduate high school.
2066 01:13:45 Don't you have to graduate high school to go to college?
2067 01:13:47 Yeah, but it's not, like, too late to do that.
2068 01:13:49 All right, even so, you know, I-I'm a little too old.
2069 01:13:51 I'd look like a narc, you know?
2070 01:13:53 I would look creepy in the corner.
2071 01:13:54 Everybody'd be like, "What's that guy doing here?"
2072 01:13:57 Everybody here is so old.
2073 01:13:59 All right, well, I'm fucking stupid, Claire, okay?
2074 01:14:01 Is that what you want me to say?
2075 01:14:02 I can't pay attention. I can't sit still, okay?
2076 01:14:04 I'm stupid. I'm a dumb idiot.
2077 01:14:06 I would have to work ten times harder than those people.
2078 01:14:08 And everybody would fucking make fun of me,
2079 01:14:09 and I'm not ready to deal with that again, all right? So, no.
2080 01:14:12 So, that's it?
2081 01:14:13 Huh?
2082 01:14:16 That's how long you're gonna think about
2083 01:14:17 going to college for?
2084 01:14:18 I mean, that was, like, a 40-second walk.
2085 01:14:20 Uh, that's a lot of consideration, don't you think?
2086 01:14:22 Okay.
2087 01:14:23 - It's your journey. - Indeed.
2088 01:14:25 Now, let's get down to brass tacks, all right?
2089 01:14:28 W-What are we gonna do about Ray?
2090 01:14:29 - What do you mean? - Don't act stupid.
2091 01:14:31 I mean, h-how are we gonna, you know,
2092 01:14:35 get Mom to break up with him?
2093 01:14:36 I think he seems fine.
2094 01:14:38 - You think he's fine? - What do you want?
2095 01:14:40 It's Mom's choice to make. We don't need to get involved.
2096 01:14:42 Yeah, I know, but we should still protect her.
2097 01:14:44 She can't just be with
2098 01:14:45 the first guy she's been with since Dad.
2099 01:14:47 She got to, like, peruse some dick.
2100 01:14:50 Mom doesn't need to peruse dick.
2101 01:14:54 - You know she needs to. - I think she seems happy.
2102 01:14:56 You want her to have sex with a ton of people?
2103 01:14:59 No, but, yeah, kind of.
2104 01:15:01 - I mean... - That's gross.
2105 01:15:02 Well, if you knew something was bad before it even started,
2106 01:15:05 wouldn't you stop it if you had the chance?
2107 01:15:07 It's like that whole baby Hitler thing, you know?
2108 01:15:09 If you had the chance to kill baby Hitler before it grew up,
2109 01:15:12 wouldn't you do it?
2110 01:15:13 Wouldn't you strangle it until its eyes popped out?
2111 01:15:15 So, Ray's baby Hitler?
2112 01:15:17 Yeah. In this situation, he is, yeah.
2113 01:15:19 He's baby Hitler.
2114 01:15:20 So, do you want to help me kill baby Hitler?
2115 01:15:22 Okay, you're right, Scott. You're right.
2116 01:15:25 - I'll see you tomorrow. - Claire!
2117 01:15:27 Claire!
2118 01:15:36 Tell you, Claire really seems like
2119 01:15:37 she's enjoying school, you know?
2120 01:15:40 Yeah.
2121 01:15:41 She's just blossoming.
2122 01:15:44 Yeah.
2123 01:15:46 Girl just seems like she could take on the world.
2124 01:15:48 I'll tell you,
2125 01:15:49 whatever you did with her, you did it right.
2126 01:15:52 Dump some of that on Scott, you know?
2127 01:15:57 What do you think about his tattoo restaurant idea?
2128 01:16:01 I think it's terrible.
2129 01:16:03 Getting a tattoo is like, uh... it's a medical procedure.
2130 01:16:06 You don't want to go to the hospital
2131 01:16:07 and order supper, you know?
2132 01:16:09 I just love that he has big dreams, but he's just so lost.
2133 01:16:14 I mean, no matter how much I try
2134 01:16:16 to fill him with good energy, he just...
2135 01:16:19 he's got no self-esteem.
2136 01:16:21 He's really going nowhere.
2137 01:16:24 Don't be so hard on yourself.
2138 01:16:26 Scientists have been doing studies.
2139 01:16:28 They say a lot of this stuff is genetic.
2140 01:16:30 You know, you inherit it from your grandparents.
2141 01:16:32 So blame them.
2142 01:16:40 When
2143 01:16:46 When
2144 01:16:47 Let's go.
2145 01:16:51 When...
2146 01:16:52 Right. If anybody sees us
2147 01:16:54 or you hear sirens or anything bad, you text me, "You up?"
2148 01:16:58 Could I just text you something else?
2149 01:16:59 That sounds like I'm trying to bang you, kind of.
2150 01:17:02 - Just do it. - Fine.
2151 01:17:04 - Fine. - Let's go.
2152 01:17:06 - Let's roll. - Hold on.
2153 01:17:07 All right, let's go.
2154 01:17:09 Good luck, homey.
2155 01:17:10 Love you, Scott.
2156 01:17:17 Oh, shit.
2157 01:17:19 This is real.
2158 01:17:24 When
2159 01:17:41 Yes! All right.
2160 01:17:55 You're dead.
2161 01:18:00 What's going on?!
2162 01:18:01 What the fuck?
2163 01:18:02 - Who are you?! - You're not supposed to be here.
2164 01:18:04 What are you talking about?! It's my store!
2165 01:18:06 Who are you talking to?
2166 01:18:07 - Who is that?! - Go back inside.
2167 01:18:09 - Go back inside! - What? Don't tell me to go back inside!
2168 01:18:11 I'm handling this!
2169 01:18:12 Yes. No. Yes.
2170 01:18:15 No. Yes. Yes. No.
2171 01:18:17 Get the fuck out of my store!
2172 01:18:18 - I just don't want to hurt you, okay? - Get out!
2173 01:18:19 - I just... - You're not doing this again, okay?!
2174 01:18:20 - This is the third time! - Enough of you guys!
2175 01:18:23 - Third time this year! - Shit! Shit!
2176 01:18:24 - Get out! - What the hell?
2177 01:18:26 - Get off me! - Not today!
2178 01:18:28 Not today! Today is Alan Moskowitz's day!
2179 01:18:34 Well, who's the pretty lady?
2180 01:18:37 Hello, Angelina Jolie.
2181 01:18:43 - Yo, it's locked! - Where are the keys?
2182 01:18:45 We left the keys on the counter.
2183 01:18:46 Why'd you lock the door?
2184 01:18:47 Because I didn't want anybody to come in, man.
2185 01:18:50 You're not gonna do this to me again!
2186 01:18:52 Not in my store!
2187 01:18:53 - We've never been here before! - Shit!
2188 01:18:56 I'm standing my ground!
2189 01:19:03 Fuck.
2190 01:19:04 Shit!
2191 01:19:08 "You up? You up? You up?"
2192 01:19:11 - What's happening? - Be quiet. Be quiet.
2193 01:19:12 Be quiet. Be quiet.
2194 01:19:17 "Want to fuck? Want to fuck? Want to fuck? Want to fuck?"
2195 01:19:19 "Do you want to fuck?
2196 01:19:20 Do you want to fuck? Do you want to fuck?"
2197 01:19:26 Okay, right, Igor.
2198 01:19:27 Answer the phone, Igor.
2199 01:19:28 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
2200 01:19:33 No. No. No. No. No.
2201 01:19:35 Scott.
2202 01:19:43 Shut off your ringers!
2203 01:19:44 Goddamn it.
2204 01:19:49 Hey, Oscar, it's, uh, Scott.
2205 01:19:52 I was just, uh, wondering if, uh, you know,
2206 01:19:56 you're almost done with that thing.
2207 01:19:57 We need those keys.
2208 01:20:14 Fuck that!
2209 01:20:16 Holy shit!
2210 01:20:21 Come on, Igor! Come on! Come on!
2211 01:20:27 Um, the robbers are inside!
2212 01:20:29 Hands in the air!
2213 01:20:30 The lady inside's got a gun.
2214 01:20:33 Get down on the ground!
2215 01:20:34 Do not move!
2216 01:20:38 Why would you rob a pharmacy?
2217 01:20:40 I wasn't robbing a pharmacy, okay?
2218 01:20:41 I was the lookout, for your information.
2219 01:20:43 The lookout is also committing a crime.
2220 01:20:45 Are you fucking crazy?
2221 01:20:47 Look, it's all Ray's fault, okay?
2222 01:20:48 He's trying to kick me out.
2223 01:20:49 So I panicked and made a bad decision, okay?
2224 01:20:52 I'm only human!
2225 01:20:53 A bad decision? That's a felony.
2226 01:20:55 Yeah, so?
2227 01:20:56 I didn't even, I didn't even go inside, all right?
2228 01:20:58 Uh, it's not... I'm untouchable.
2229 01:21:00 I didn't do anything, all right?
2230 01:21:01 Uh, i-it's Ray, okay?
2231 01:21:03 He... I-I know he's up to something.
2232 01:21:04 - He's trying to erase Dad. - Can you just let Mom be happy?
2233 01:21:07 She is happy.
2234 01:21:08 Well, she will be, you know, once I get rid of that guy.
2235 01:21:10 He's hiding shit, okay? He's hiding shit.
2236 01:21:12 He's a weasel. I-I'm onto him.
2237 01:21:14 This is why I didn't want to leave,
2238 01:21:15 'cause now all your crazy's focused on Mom.
2239 01:21:17 I'm not doing anything crazy, okay?
2240 01:21:18 Doing nothing would be crazy. I'm doing something, okay?
2241 01:21:21 I'm taking action!
2242 01:21:22 Leave Mom alone. Stop acting like you.
2243 01:21:24 What's that mean?!
2244 01:21:26 You ruined my Halloween party.
2245 01:21:27 You know, you know what? You know what?
2246 01:21:29 Go enjoy your party. I-I got this.
2247 01:21:31 You don't got this. Don't do anything.
2248 01:21:34 I got this.
2249 01:21:35 Don't do anything!
2250 01:21:54 Hey, Scott. What's up?
2251 01:21:56 - Oh, hi. - Hi.
2252 01:21:58 I, uh... I just came by to say hi to the kids.
2253 01:22:01 Are-are they around?
2254 01:22:02 Oh.
2255 01:22:03 Well, they're not here.
2256 01:22:05 They went to their grandma's.
2257 01:22:07 Oh.
2258 01:22:08 Well, what do you got going on over there?
2259 01:22:10 I'm trying to open this bottle of wine,
2260 01:22:12 but I think I mangled the cork.
2261 01:22:15 Oh, well, I could help. You want me to help?
2262 01:22:18 Yes. Yes.
2263 01:22:19 Please.
2264 01:22:22 - Yeah! - Yes.
2265 01:22:24 So, uh, do you have a friend coming over or something?
2266 01:22:27 Oh, no.
2267 01:22:29 No, I just need some mommy time.
2268 01:22:31 Sometimes, mommies need to drink when the kids are away.
2269 01:22:36 Oh, well, could I hang?
2270 01:22:37 I-I could use some mommy time.
2271 01:22:39 Sure, but are you old enough to drink?
2272 01:22:42 Yeah, I'm old enough. I just... I'd rather smoke.
2273 01:22:44 Do you mind if I smoke in here?
2274 01:22:45 Oh, no. No.
2275 01:22:46 Let's crack some windows.
2276 01:22:48 - It's Tuesday. - Really?
2277 01:22:50 'Cause Ray hates when I smoke weed.
2278 01:22:53 Mm. Well, I hate Ray.
2279 01:22:55 Awesome.
2280 01:23:04 - Mm. - You know...
2281 01:23:08 You have the sweetest,
2282 01:23:09 most adorable kids I've ever met in my life.
2283 01:23:12 Like, I can't believe they came out of Ray.
2284 01:23:14 I know.
2285 01:23:16 And you know what?
2286 01:23:17 You know what the thing is about Ray?
2287 01:23:18 I never say a bad word about him in front of the kids,
2288 01:23:22 which is very difficult because he's a cunt.
2289 01:23:27 Yeah, I-I can imagine.
2290 01:23:28 Well, I'm not one of your kids, so have at it.
2291 01:23:32 Let it all out. Tell me everything.
2292 01:23:35 Do you know he is fighting to
2293 01:23:37 actively not have custody of his kids?
2294 01:23:40 - You can do that? - Yeah.
2295 01:23:42 - That's insane. - I know.
2296 01:23:43 Who wouldn't want to hang with your kids?
2297 01:23:45 Who wouldn't want to hang out with those kids?
2298 01:23:47 What monster wouldn't want to hang out with those kids?
2299 01:23:50 Every second!
2300 01:23:51 Your daughter sang the other day.
2301 01:23:52 What did she sing?
2302 01:23:53 Something from, like, Oklahoma! or something,
2303 01:23:56 and-and I hate that shit, and I fucking loved it.
2304 01:23:58 She's such a little angel.
2305 01:24:00 - Mm. - I-I thought she was a robot for, like,
2306 01:24:02 the first couple days I was hanging out with her.
2307 01:24:05 I know. She's so perfect.
2308 01:24:06 What a fucking putz.
2309 01:24:08 Yeah, so he only wants to see them
2310 01:24:09 on Wednesday night for dinner and Sunday.
2311 01:24:12 - You can't just pick and choose. - And, uh...
2312 01:24:15 No, you can't.
2313 01:24:15 What are your kids, the NFL package?
2314 01:24:17 - Wait, you're only... Yeah. - Yeah.
2315 01:24:19 But why would you want your kids, really,
2316 01:24:21 if you don't have an apartment and you sleep at the firehouse?
2317 01:24:25 I mean, you...
2318 01:24:28 Unbelievable.
2319 01:24:29 What kind of a grown man
2320 01:24:30 can't afford his own apartment in Staten Island?
2321 01:24:33 Fucking loser.
2322 01:24:35 He lost all our money gambling.
2323 01:24:37 He is homeless, he's penniless, and he's a deadbeat dad.
2324 01:24:43 What is your mom doing with him?
2325 01:24:45 You know, my mom hasn't gotten laid in 17 years,
2326 01:24:47 so I think her bar is pretty low.
2327 01:24:49 Really? Yeah.
2328 01:24:52 He's good in bed, I hate to say it.
2329 01:24:54 All right.
2330 01:24:55 Well, I didn't really need to know that.
2331 01:24:57 Yeah.
2332 01:24:58 He's got a beautiful cock.
2333 01:25:01 I mean, it's the... it's his only attribute.
2334 01:25:04 That big thick cock kept me in it
2335 01:25:06 for eight years longer than I should have stayed.
2336 01:25:09 It's a fact.
2337 01:25:11 I knew I smelled you.
2338 01:25:12 - The fuck, Scott? - What?
2339 01:25:14 Huh? What, are you spying on me now?
2340 01:25:16 - You Magnum, P.I.? - What?
2341 01:25:17 Telling your mom that I'm homeless?
2342 01:25:18 You think it's funny to tell her that I'm a loser?
2343 01:25:21 What are you talking... No. What?
2344 01:25:22 What do you mean, what am I talking about?
2345 01:25:24 You've been speak... You talking to my ex-wife?
2346 01:25:26 Uh, yeah. She's actually a really nice person.
2347 01:25:28 - Oh, is she? Why don't you marry her? - Yeah.
2348 01:25:29 Why don't you marry her and see what the fuck happens?
2349 01:25:31 Hey, I'm just trying to protect my mom from you, okay?
2350 01:25:33 You're a fucking psychopath.
2351 01:25:34 - Oh, I'm a psychopath? - Yeah.
2352 01:25:35 I've been nothing but nice to you!
2353 01:25:36 I tried giving you direction.
2354 01:25:38 You're too busy smoking your fucking weed.
2355 01:25:39 And all you've been doing is trying to destroy
2356 01:25:41 everything that I have with Margie.
2357 01:25:42 Because you're a fucking loser, dude!
2358 01:25:44 You're a, you're a degenerate gambler
2359 01:25:45 in your-your mid-50s, who bets on the Jets.
2360 01:25:48 Uh, who... Have you not learned anything about betting?
2361 01:25:50 - The Jets are gonna come back! - No, they're not!
2362 01:25:51 They got three number one fucking picks!
2363 01:25:53 They're never gonna come back! They're never gonna come back!
2364 01:25:55 I'm trying to give your mother a good life!
2365 01:25:56 I... No, you're not, okay? You're a piece of shit, dude.
2366 01:25:58 You're a fucking drug addict! I'm a piece of shit?
2367 01:26:00 Yeah, you're a piece of shit! I'm a fucking loser?
2368 01:26:02 You're the biggest loser I ever met in my fucking life!
2369 01:26:04 - Oh, really? You should know. - Yeah! Yeah!
2370 01:26:05 You surround yourself with them.
2371 01:26:06 - Oh, yeah? Why don't you try me? - Oh, really?
2372 01:26:07 Why don't you try me? Yeah, yeah, yeah...
2373 01:26:08 This ain't gonna go how you think it's gonna go.
2374 01:26:09 So why don't you get the fuck out of my... Really?
2375 01:26:15 - Fucking asshole. - Throw a fucking punch at me?
2376 01:26:17 - Oh, yeah. - Huh? You gonna cool off?
2377 01:26:18 - Come here, cocksucker. - You gonna cool off?
2378 01:26:19 I'll fucking cool you off.
2379 01:26:20 Yeah, I'll fucking cool you off!
2380 01:26:27 Hey, you cool off now?
2381 01:26:29 You're in there 'cause of your own actions!
2382 01:26:30 Are you kidding me?!
2383 01:26:31 I'm gonna tell my mom you tried to drown me.
2384 01:26:33 In an aboveground pool?
2385 01:26:34 You're, like, fucking eight feet tall.
2386 01:26:35 You're lucky my dad isn't here. He would kick your ass.
2387 01:26:38 Oh, yeah? Well, guess what, I knew your dad. Okay?
2388 01:26:40 - Yeah? - Yeah, I crossed paths with him a number of times.
2389 01:26:42 And you know what? He was even a bigger asshole than you are!
2390 01:26:47 All right, that's it, that's it.
2391 01:26:48 It's over. It's over.
2392 01:26:50 Huh? Huh?
2393 01:26:51 - You like that? You like that? - Ow.
2394 01:27:02 - Jesus. - Fucking asshole.
2395 01:27:03 Come on, tap out! Tap out!
2396 01:27:05 - Fuck you! No! - Get me out! Let me out!
2397 01:27:07 - No! No! - Let me out!
2398 01:27:08 - Oh, my God! - Get me out!
2399 01:27:09 What's the matter with you?!
2400 01:27:12 He's a psycho.
2401 01:27:13 No.
2402 01:27:14 - We're just talking. - About what?
2403 01:27:16 - About him telling you lies about me. - He's an animal.
2404 01:27:18 He picked me up and he threw me in the pool.
2405 01:27:20 - All right? He has to go. - No, I need you to go. Now.
2406 01:27:22 What? Why-why me? He-he's the one who started it.
2407 01:27:24 Yeah, that's right. Get the hell out of here.
2408 01:27:25 And get a job and a life while you're at it.
2409 01:27:27 Your freeloading days are over.
2410 01:27:28 You, too. Get going.
2411 01:27:30 Wait, what did I do?
2412 01:27:32 You put your hands on my son!
2413 01:27:34 You're not respecting my family!
2414 01:27:35 You're an animal!
2415 01:27:36 Look, okay, just listen.
2416 01:27:38 - Just calm down. - I don't have to calm down!
2417 01:27:40 What are... You're attacking my son!
2418 01:27:41 And you're, and you're making up lies!
2419 01:27:43 You made... You tricked me into thinking you're a good guy.
2420 01:27:45 You're not a good guy.
2421 01:27:46 - Right. Mm-hmm. - You're a fucking small guy.
2422 01:27:47 Margie, Margie, just let me explain this to you.
2423 01:27:50 - Just let me talk to you, okay? - You are not in control of me.
2424 01:27:52 Okay, okay, listen, all right?
2425 01:27:53 Okay, you don't have all the information you need.
2426 01:27:55 All right? Scott is acting out
2427 01:27:56 'cause he's afraid to move on with his life.
2428 01:27:58 It's no different than when the Boston Red Sox
2429 01:27:59 finally won a World Series, okay?
2430 01:28:00 - Oh, my God. - They had, they had to get to a point
2431 01:28:01 - where-where they believed, okay? - Just shut up.
2432 01:28:03 - All-all... - Shut the fuck up.
2433 01:28:04 All I did was just ask him a question, and he flipped out.
2434 01:28:07 So I put him in the water, which is soft.
2435 01:28:08 I diffused the situation.
2436 01:28:09 It was what-what m-my training's all about.
2437 01:28:11 I-I wa... I was totally diffusing the situation.
2438 01:28:12 Do you ever shut up?
2439 01:28:13 Do you ever just shut the fuck up?
2440 01:28:14 You just talk and you talk and you talk,
2441 01:28:16 and you don't know what you're saying.
2442 01:28:17 It makes no sense.
2443 01:28:19 It's like you picked up all these little pieces
2444 01:28:21 of information from all over.
2445 01:28:23 They don't make any sense. They're fragments.
2446 01:28:25 No sense. Nonsense.
2447 01:28:31 I-I'm not talking.
2448 01:28:33 I've had it up to here. I'm done.
2449 01:28:35 Both of you, get your shit out of here.
2450 01:28:42 Margie.
2451 01:28:45 Oh, fuck.
2452 01:28:46 Well...
2453 01:28:47 Well, where do we go now?
2454 01:28:50 What are you asking me for?
2455 01:28:52 You created this whole mess, you fucking schmuck.
2456 01:29:29 Hey, man.
2457 01:29:34 Are you mad at me?
2458 01:29:35 Me? No, of course not.
2459 01:29:37 Are-are you mad at me?
2460 01:29:39 I mean,
2461 01:29:40 - no, but... - Are they...
2462 01:29:41 Are they asking questions about me?
2463 01:29:43 I'm not gonna snitch on you, man.
2464 01:29:45 But at the same time, like, what am I gonna say to them?
2465 01:29:47 You were the lookout that didn't look out.
2466 01:29:51 Um, well, I've been meaning to ask you.
2467 01:29:53 Um... you know, since you're in here, uh, well, I was wondering
2468 01:29:58 if you wouldn't mind me staying at your house for a little bit.
2469 01:30:02 You came up here to ask me that?
2470 01:30:05 - I also came to see you. - You came...
2471 01:30:06 No, you didn't come to see me. You came to ask me that.
2472 01:30:08 And, no, you can't stay at my house.
2473 01:30:08 I'm sor... I have nowhere to go, bro.
2474 01:30:10 - My house is frightening, dude. - My mom kicked, my mom
2475 01:30:11 - kicked me out. - The fuck are you doing with your life?
2476 01:30:13 Drive all the way down here just to ask me
2477 01:30:15 if you can stay at my house.
2478 01:30:16 - No, I-I... - No, you don't love me.
2479 01:30:17 I do love you.
2480 01:30:18 I'm sorry. I-I... You're right.
2481 01:30:20 I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry.
2482 01:30:21 And you know what? I need you to do me a favor.
2483 01:30:23 Anything, bro. Just ask.
2484 01:30:24 You got to feed my cat, all right?
2485 01:30:27 For the next three to five months.
2486 01:30:29 Is there anything else I could do?
2487 01:30:31 'Cause I'm-I'm kind of allergic to cats.
2488 01:30:34 You better look out for Sprinkles,
2489 01:30:36 because I'm looking out for you, all right?
2490 01:30:39 You got it.
2491 01:30:40 And, listen, man.
2492 01:30:42 I need you to spend time with Sprinkles.
2493 01:30:44 I don't want you just
2494 01:30:46 going in there, feeding him and running out.
2495 01:30:48 You got to go in there, scratch his belly.
2496 01:30:49 You tell him I miss him and I'll see him soon.
2497 01:30:53 Right.
2498 01:30:55 Um, how, uh, how are the boys?
2499 01:30:57 How's Igor and Richie doing in there?
2500 01:30:59 I'll tell you right now. I haven't seen Richie.
2501 01:31:01 Igor?
2502 01:31:02 Bro, look to your right.
2503 01:31:04 That's Carla.
2504 01:31:05 Carla.
2505 01:31:06 Holy shit! Get the...
2506 01:31:08 Bro, she's fucking real.
2507 01:31:10 She's fucking real.
2508 01:31:11 She's fucking real. Holy shit.
2509 01:31:12 Yo. She's hot, man.
2510 01:31:18 He was telling the truth the entire time.
2511 01:31:21 - Good for him, man. - I know.
2512 01:31:23 - That's awesome. - Yeah.
2513 01:31:32 Hey, you.
2514 01:31:34 What the hell are you doing there?
2515 01:31:35 Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was my house.
2516 01:31:37 Get out of my backyard!
2517 01:31:40 Get the hell out of here!
2518 01:31:50 I'm really glad we did that.
2519 01:31:52 It was really nice.
2520 01:31:54 Me, too.
2521 01:31:55 That was awesome.
2522 01:31:57 Yeah. I missed you.
2523 01:31:59 Oh, yeah? I missed you, too.
2524 01:32:01 Just like, uh, old times.
2525 01:32:02 I miss all my friends, you know.
2526 01:32:04 Mr. Shark, Mr. Weird Skeleton.
2527 01:32:08 Well, they missed you, too.
2528 01:32:09 They missed you, too.
2529 01:32:13 Hey, I, uh... I'm in a bit of a situation.
2530 01:32:16 You think I could stay here for a few days?
2531 01:32:18 What are you talking about?
2532 01:32:20 Well, it's silly.
2533 01:32:22 Me and Ray got into this big fight,
2534 01:32:23 and then my mom caught us, and she just started yelling at us.
2535 01:32:26 And she threw us out, so... She kind of lost her mind.
2536 01:32:31 Is that why you're here right now?
2537 01:32:33 No.
2538 01:32:35 Did you just fuck me for shelter?
2539 01:32:37 No, I didn't fuck you for shelter.
2540 01:32:39 Uh, I-I-I didn't do anything.
2541 01:32:40 What? I didn't... I just... I just need a place to stay.
2542 01:32:43 Oh, God.
2543 01:32:45 Dude, dude, how many times we got to do this?
2544 01:32:49 What do you mean? I-I just want to...
2545 01:32:50 I just need... It's just for a couple weeks.
2546 01:32:52 It's not that big of a deal.
2547 01:32:53 A few weeks? You just said a few days.
2548 01:32:56 - Uh, or a couple months. It's... - Months?
2549 01:32:57 I'm figuring my stuff out.
2550 01:32:59 I don't know the future.
2551 01:33:00 Oh, my God, you...
2552 01:33:03 There you go.
2553 01:33:04 - What the... Hey. - I'm not going to let myself
2554 01:33:07 be upset by you, but I'm gonna tell you something.
2555 01:33:09 You make me feel so crazy.
2556 01:33:12 I'm not gonna let myself be crazy now,
2557 01:33:13 but you make me feel crazy!
2558 01:33:15 You are so crazy that you make
2559 01:33:17 everyone around you feel fucking crazy.
2560 01:33:19 The people meet you, and they're normal people,
2561 01:33:21 and then they hang out with you, and then they're fucking
2562 01:33:23 Jack Nicholson in The Shining or something.
2563 01:33:25 Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2564 01:33:27 I got to stay Zen. I got to meditate.
2565 01:33:30 I'm meditating right now, and you got to go.
2566 01:33:33 - What? What? - Yeah, here's your shit.
2567 01:33:35 Okay.
2568 01:33:36 Staying calm.
2569 01:33:37 You got to leave. It's time to go.
2570 01:33:39 Well...
2571 01:33:40 Get out.
2572 01:33:42 Well, I don't have anywhere to go.
2573 01:33:43 It's not my problem anymore.
2574 01:33:46 Thank you for the sex.
2575 01:33:48 It was wonderful until you started talking.
2576 01:33:51 You got to go.
2577 01:33:52 Could I sleep in your brother's room?
2578 01:33:54 No.
2579 01:33:55 But he has bunk beds.
2580 01:33:57 He's 14 years old.
2581 01:34:03 Hey, yo, Dougie, can I crash in your room?
2582 01:34:05 That's not happening, bro.
2583 01:34:07 Jesus Christ.
2584 01:34:19 Fuck.
2585 01:34:54 Hey, do you know where Ray Bishop is?
2586 01:34:57 He's in the back. Come with me.
2587 01:34:59 How about next time you put your mask on
2588 01:35:01 before we get off the rig?
2589 01:35:03 I mean, I'm standing at that front door for a minute
2590 01:35:05 - waiting for you. What the hell? - I told him to.
2591 01:35:06 Always with the backhanded compliment.
2592 01:35:07 Why can't you just, you know,
2593 01:35:09 at least say the nice thing and then...
2594 01:35:10 - Listen, you should be happy with any compliment. - Okay.
2595 01:35:12 - It's constructive criticism. - It's...
2596 01:35:13 - It just... It's always bad. - Go ahead.
2597 01:35:14 I would respond better to encouragement.
2598 01:35:16 I'm just...
2599 01:35:18 I encourage you to shut the fuck up.
2600 01:35:20 He's soft. He can't take it.
2601 01:35:21 - You're right. - He's an emotional eater.
2602 01:35:22 Well, that's the problem with this generation, man.
2603 01:35:25 They can't take criticism.
2604 01:35:26 - They get, they get all-all upset. - I know.
2605 01:35:27 Hey, I'm not a whole generation, all right?
2606 01:35:30 I'm just, I'm just a man. A man with feelings.
2607 01:35:32 - Oh, my God. - Aw! - Aw!
2608 01:35:33 Now you're making me look bad.
2609 01:35:35 - You're a man? - Now you're making me look bad. Stop.
2610 01:35:39 Ray.
2611 01:35:41 Hey, Ray.
2612 01:35:44 Oh, Jesus Christ.
2613 01:35:46 What are you doing here?
2614 01:35:48 Look, uh, I-I don't have anywhere else to go, all right?
2615 01:35:50 I'm out of options, so...
2616 01:35:52 Why would I care?
2617 01:35:53 I'm sorry. Like, uh-uh...
2618 01:35:55 Go sleep under a tree. I don't care.
2619 01:35:57 Do you have any idea what you took from me? Do you?
2620 01:36:00 Huh? You do a 60-minute interview with my ex-wife
2621 01:36:03 to find out what kind of guy I am?
2622 01:36:05 What do you think she was gonna say?
2623 01:36:07 - I don't know. I... - By the way,
2624 01:36:09 I'm not a gambler, okay? I day-trade.
2625 01:36:10 I don't know the difference.
2626 01:36:12 You should've found out before you shot your mouth off.
2627 01:36:14 I know you smoke a lot of weed, but you're not dumb.
2628 01:36:16 You knew what the fuck you were doing.
2629 01:36:17 You went to the person that hates me the most
2630 01:36:19 to get the worst review you could possibly get.
2631 01:36:21 Why didn't you come down here and ask these guys
2632 01:36:22 what they thought of me?
2633 01:36:23 Did you ever think of doing that?
2634 01:36:25 I'm sorry. You're right. You're right.
2635 01:36:27 - Uh, I shouldn't have done... - You're not sorry
2636 01:36:29 or you wouldn't have done it. So now what?
2637 01:36:30 Now you don't have a place to stay?
2638 01:36:31 So now you come down here with your little puppy dog look
2639 01:36:33 on your face, and I'm supposed to feel bad?
2640 01:36:35 Look, all I know is,
2641 01:36:37 if you're not nice to me, then my mom will hate you forever
2642 01:36:39 and she'll never forgive you.
2643 01:36:41 Really? You're gonna play that card?
2644 01:36:43 It's a, it's a pretty good card.
2645 01:36:46 It's all I got.
2646 01:37:02 Ray.
2647 01:37:05 Hey, Ray.
2648 01:37:07 Raymond.
2649 01:37:09 Ray!
2650 01:37:12 What?
2651 01:37:13 Hey, I can't sleep.
2652 01:37:14 I-I never go to sleep this early.
2653 01:37:16 Oh. Well, you know what you should do?
2654 01:37:18 You should shut the fuck up.
2655 01:37:20 Go to sleep.
2656 01:37:22 Thanks.
2657 01:37:23 Can't go to sleep.
2658 01:37:25 Why don't you dip your weed in NyQuil,
2659 01:37:27 you fucking drug addict?
2660 01:37:40 Hey, w-what do I do?
2661 01:37:41 Do what you always do. Sit there and do nothing.
2662 01:38:15 Hey. Where do you go to the bathroom around here?
2663 01:38:17 Well, number one, down there.
2664 01:38:19 Number two, Dunkin' Donuts across the street.
2665 01:38:23 Have a wonderful day, man.
2666 01:38:24 Oh, thanks.
2667 01:38:33 How'd you sleep, big man?
2668 01:38:36 I hear you're Stan's kid.
2669 01:38:37 He was a brave man. It's an honor to meet you.
2670 01:38:40 Thanks, man.
2671 01:38:41 It's a, it's an honor to meet you, too.
2672 01:38:42 I-I didn't do anything, though.
2673 01:38:44 You don't think you did?
2674 01:38:46 No.
2675 01:38:47 I appreciate your sacrifice.
2676 01:38:51 No, I got this one to impress a girl.
2677 01:38:53 Oh? And how did that work out?
2678 01:38:55 Not good.
2679 01:38:56 - We've been married 18 years. - Ooh, poor woman.
2680 01:38:58 - 18 years, huh? - Congratulations.
2681 01:39:00 - Thank you. - Wow.
2682 01:39:01 The rest I got, you know, Maori, tribal.
2683 01:39:04 It's beautiful work, man.
2684 01:39:05 Thank you, man. I appreciate that.
2685 01:39:07 - What was that one? - Maori.
2686 01:39:07 This stands for strength and courage.
2687 01:39:09 - Really? - Yeah.
2688 01:39:12 What the hell are you still doing here?
2689 01:39:14 Well, you know, believe it or not,
2690 01:39:16 I-I couldn't find a place to live in just a night, so...
2691 01:39:19 - I believe it. - I'm kind of fucked, Ray.
2692 01:39:22 Yes, you are.
2693 01:39:22 I'd say finish up your free breakfast,
2694 01:39:24 and, uh, hit the bricks.
2695 01:39:26 All right. It's all right.
2696 01:39:28 The kid can stay.
2697 01:39:30 But you got to work, all right? You ready to do some work?
2698 01:39:32 Yeah. Did... did you just, did you just make me a fireman?
2699 01:39:37 No.
2700 01:39:38 Go clean the toilets or get the fuck out.
2701 01:39:41 Did I make you a... What...
2702 01:39:43 Hey, do me a favor.
2703 01:39:44 The bathroom downstairs... I-I used it.
2704 01:39:47 You can start there.
2705 01:39:48 Great.
2706 01:39:50 Get gloves. Pretty muddy.
2707 01:39:52 You know, when I see a big stain like that,
2708 01:39:54 I go up and down, and then I go left and right.
2709 01:39:56 - Good times. - There you go.
2710 01:39:58 You got to get the splatter.
2711 01:40:02 You see that? That's a nice straight line.
2712 01:40:04 Yeah, you guys, uh, got to do a lot of shit work, huh?
2713 01:40:08 We don't refer to it as shit work.
2714 01:40:09 This is our house. We want it to look nice.
2715 01:40:12 You know, company pride.
2716 01:40:14 You got to wash it hot.
2717 01:40:15 Hot. Not warm, not cold. Extra hot.
2718 01:40:18 - Okay. - Because of the bedbugs.
2719 01:40:19 What-What's bedbugs?
2720 01:40:21 They're, uh, a-a tiny insect
2721 01:40:22 that get into your home and they run you out.
2722 01:40:42 - You know how they procreate? - No.
2723 01:40:44 The male bedbug takes his penis
2724 01:40:46 and jams it into the female's stomach.
2725 01:40:48 Does the female have a vagina? Yeah, she does.
2726 01:40:50 It doesn't matter.
2727 01:40:51 He jams it into her stomach.
2728 01:40:53 Well, how do you know all this, man?
2729 01:40:55 How do I know? I researched it.
2730 01:40:59 - Just flip it over. Flip. - Oh, just a flip.
2731 01:41:01 - There you go, yeah. - Okay.
2732 01:41:03 You got it. Just flip it right down.
2733 01:41:05 - Very nice. - Mm.
2734 01:41:08 Well done.
2735 01:41:09 When you have bedbugs, everybody leaves.
2736 01:41:12 My parents stopped calling.
2737 01:41:13 My brothers and sisters stopped coming over.
2738 01:41:15 My girl left. Everybody's gone.
2739 01:41:17 And you know who's there for you at the end?
2740 01:41:20 Ironically?
2741 01:41:21 The bedbugs.
2742 01:41:21 I never thought I'd say it,
2743 01:41:24 but if I make chief, I'm making you my aide.
2744 01:41:25 - Yeah? - What's up, kid?
2745 01:41:27 Well, how do you think you did on the test?
2746 01:41:29 Tough test.
2747 01:41:30 I mean, you know, I hope I did good.
2748 01:41:32 Fuck!
2749 01:41:40 He's doing a good job.
2750 01:41:41 He knows how to wash a truck.
2751 01:41:43 Getting ready for his career working at a car wash.
2752 01:41:46 You ever gonna give this kid a break or what?
2753 01:41:48 I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
2754 01:41:52 Then do nothing.
2755 01:41:55 Were you on the job when Stan was killed?
2756 01:41:58 Yeah. You know I was.
2757 01:42:00 What's the first thing you thought of when you heard?
2758 01:42:07 I-I wondered if he had kids.
2759 01:42:20 Why do we have to clean this thing anyway?
2760 01:42:22 It's just gonna get fire on it.
2761 01:42:24 You think the people that are burning alive
2762 01:42:26 give a fuck if the truck is shiny?
2763 01:42:29 Just saying.
2764 01:42:30 I don't even know why you got to clean the truck.
2765 01:42:32 What, you're trying to show up all sexy to a fire?
2766 01:42:35 I like him.
2767 01:42:49 No! No! Stop!
2768 01:42:51 All right!
2769 01:42:55 Let me fix that backpack. It's slipping.
2770 01:42:59 It's weird having you walk me to school.
2771 01:43:02 Why is that?
2772 01:43:03 'Cause Scott always walks me.
2773 01:43:06 I walk you sometimes.
2774 01:43:09 I guess so.
2775 01:43:12 Is he, uh, is he weird around you guys?
2776 01:43:15 No.
2777 01:43:16 He's nice.
2778 01:43:18 He asks me how I'm doing.
2779 01:43:20 What do you tell him?
2780 01:43:23 I say I'm doing fine.
2781 01:43:25 Look, you don't have to lie to make me feel better, all right?
2782 01:43:28 I know me and your mom could do a better job
2783 01:43:30 getting along through all of this, and, uh...
2784 01:43:33 Hey, I'm sorry if I haven't handled it so well.
2785 01:43:38 What's that?
2786 01:43:40 Oh, that's Ice Flash.
2787 01:43:42 Scott drew it for me, but it didn't come out so good.
2788 01:43:45 Yeah, I think his drawings are a little shaky.
2789 01:43:48 That's the one that I drew.
2790 01:43:53 This is how he drew it.
2791 01:44:00 It's good, right?
2792 01:44:01 Yeah, it's better than good.
2793 01:44:03 Did a great job.
2794 01:44:06 Yeah.
2795 01:44:07 He said he was gonna teach me.
2796 01:44:08 He said he'd teach you how to do that?
2797 01:44:11 Yeah.
2798 01:44:13 And he stays to his word.
2799 01:44:24 It's so nice in here now.
2800 01:44:25 I love it. I love the colors.
2801 01:44:27 I love everything.
2802 01:44:28 - Mm! - Hey.
2803 01:44:29 - Oh, hey, Scott. - What's...
2804 01:44:31 What's going on in here?
2805 01:44:32 Where... Why is everything so different?
2806 01:44:33 Isn't it nice? Do you like it?
2807 01:44:35 Is that a pink chair?
2808 01:44:38 - Yeah, we've been redecorating. - W-What's up with the drapes?
2809 01:44:40 Yeah.
2810 01:44:41 Plants, too.
2811 01:44:43 Yeah. Why's...
2812 01:44:44 Your mother has great taste.
2813 01:44:46 Yeah.
2814 01:44:47 Where have you been staying?
2815 01:44:49 Oh, I've been, uh, at the firehouse with Ray.
2816 01:44:51 Oh, okay. Well, I'm just glad that you're not on the street.
2817 01:44:54 I told you he wasn't homeless.
2818 01:44:56 When you're right, you're ri... I love this green.
2819 01:44:58 - Yeah, well... - We... I actually have been
2820 01:45:00 learning, uh, a lot and, like, bonding with the guys.
2821 01:45:03 - Oh. - So, uh, yeah.
2822 01:45:04 Yeah, they got me cleaning.
2823 01:45:06 Uh, they got me, like, washing stuff and, like,
2824 01:45:08 - working around the firehouse and... - Mm-hmm. Oh.
2825 01:45:10 I really understand where you were coming from before.
2826 01:45:12 You know, when you threw me out.
2827 01:45:14 Like, I think I really got my shit together now,
2828 01:45:16 and I'm ready to, like, come back and...
2829 01:45:18 Okay.
2830 01:45:20 So, like, you think you know what hard work is?
2831 01:45:23 Well, I wouldn't say that, but, you-you know,
2832 01:45:25 I-I-I definitely have an idea.
2833 01:45:27 You mopped a floor
2834 01:45:30 and-and you cooked.
2835 01:45:31 You cleaned a bathroom once.
2836 01:45:33 Oh. Oh, Scott.
2837 01:45:35 And how's your shoulder feel after all that very hard work?
2838 01:45:38 Oh, you're making fun of me.
2839 01:45:40 Why are you making fun...
2840 01:45:41 I-I worked really hard. I did.
2841 01:45:42 Ask Ray.
2842 01:45:43 He's trying to get back.
2843 01:45:46 Eat a dick, Joy.
2844 01:45:47 Had one for breakfast.
2845 01:45:49 I'm full.
2846 01:45:50 Hey!
2847 01:45:51 And-and wh... and where's Dad's shrine?
2848 01:45:53 - Where-where-where... - Oh, you're ruining the vibe.
2849 01:45:55 Where's his shrine? Where's Dad's shrine?
2850 01:45:56 All of his stuff is gone. All my shit's gone.
2851 01:45:58 - What's going on? - Honey.
2852 01:46:00 Uh, all right, let... I'm-I'm really sorry.
2853 01:46:01 I'm sorry I raised my voice. I'm sorry.
2854 01:46:02 - I'm sorry I laughed. - Could we talk in private?
2855 01:46:04 - Let's go outside, yeah. - Yeah.
2856 01:46:05 So we're gonna speak for a minute.
2857 01:46:06 - I'm sorry. - So sorry. - It's okay, Joy.
2858 01:46:08 - Let's just have a real... - Let's just... Yeah.
2859 01:46:10 - Let's just talk outside. - Let's just get into it.
2860 01:46:12 You know? Right. Okay.
2861 01:46:13 So...
2862 01:46:14 Oh, no, you did not!
2863 01:46:17 Code alarm.
2864 01:46:18 Engine and truck are first due.
2865 01:46:20 Box 118.
2866 01:46:21 Heavy smoke coming from the roof.
2867 01:46:22 Hey, yo, Scott, you want to ride this one in?
2868 01:46:24 Is-is that okay?
2869 01:46:27 Yeah, jump in.
2870 01:46:29 Jump in.
2871 01:46:33 Listen up.
2872 01:46:34 We're getting multiple calls on this box.
2873 01:46:36 We're going to a fire. Suit up!
2874 01:46:38 Ladder 5-7 to Staten Island.
2875 01:46:40 Yes, go ahead, Ladder 5-7.
2876 01:46:42 Transmitting second alarm.
2877 01:46:43 Box 1-1-8.
2878 01:46:44 Fire in the first and second floor
2879 01:46:46 of a five-story multiple dwelling.
2880 01:47:02 1-4-9 to 1-4-9,
2881 01:47:03 Chauffer to start work.
2882 01:47:05 1-4-9 Chauffeur to Control.
2883 01:47:07 Turn on the hydrant.
2884 01:47:08 All right. Suit up.
2885 01:47:10 10-4.
2886 01:47:12 Ladder 5-7 to Chauffeur.
2887 01:47:15 George, take the aerial and vent that third-floor window,
2888 01:47:18 and then get the aerial to the roof.
2889 01:47:23 1-4-9 to 1-4-9.
2890 01:47:25 Chauffeur, start water.
2891 01:47:32 Are you guys ready? I'm opening the door.
2892 01:47:37 49, here comes your water.
2893 01:47:39 Hit it, hit it. Go. Hit it, hit it!
2894 01:47:49 I'm good.
2895 01:47:50 - You all right? - Yeah.
2896 01:47:53 They're gonna be fine. They got this.
2897 01:47:54 Yeah, yeah, I-I know.
2898 01:47:56 I know it looks bad, but they know what they're doing.
2899 01:47:59 All right?
2900 01:48:01 Ladder 5-7, Chauffeur 5-7.
2901 01:48:02 I just vented the third-floor window.
2902 01:48:05 I'm bringing the aerial to the roof.
2903 01:48:11 5-7 O.V. to 5-7.
2904 01:48:14 I got a 10-45 on the second floor.
2905 01:48:16 Gonna bring him down the inside stairs.
2906 01:48:18 10-4, Ray.
2907 01:48:20 5-7 roof to 5-7...
2908 01:48:21 1-4-9 Chauffeur to 1-4-9.
2909 01:48:24 - How's the water pressure? - Pressure's fine.
2910 01:48:33 5-7-9 to 5-7,
2911 01:48:34 all the apartments on the first floor are clear.
2912 01:48:36 10-4, Cap.
2913 01:48:42 You know, everyone gets nervous
2914 01:48:44 during their first fire.
2915 01:48:45 You know, when I was a probie, I was so scared,
2916 01:48:47 I would follow my captain everywhere,
2917 01:48:49 just hold on to his jacket.
2918 01:48:51 You know, follow him around, hold on for dear life.
2919 01:48:53 - Yeah. - No, but, uh,
2920 01:48:55 you know, everybody gets a little scared.
2921 01:48:57 I mean, you know, I mean, it's... keeps you honest.
2922 01:48:58 You know? No, if you don't get scared,
2923 01:49:00 - there's something wrong with you. - Mm-hmm.
2924 01:49:03 And, by the way, your dad never got scared.
2925 01:49:08 Yeah? How-how do you know?
2926 01:49:12 I mean, back in the day, I-I was at the same house
2927 01:49:14 with him for about six months, so...
2928 01:49:16 Wait, you worked with my dad for six months
2929 01:49:18 - and you're just telling me? - Yeah. I mean, I...
2930 01:49:20 Yeah, I didn't want to make you feel weird.
2931 01:49:22 We didn't want to insult you
2932 01:49:23 'cause you seem a little delicate.
2933 01:49:25 - No. Please. - Well, yeah.
2934 01:49:26 What, w-what was he like?
2935 01:49:28 He was kind of like you.
2936 01:49:30 You know, like, if you didn't know him,
2937 01:49:32 you'd think he was a crack baby, but he was...
2938 01:49:35 No, but he was a good guy. He was a, he was a great guy.
2939 01:49:37 - He was a great guy. - Well, I-I, I mean, I heard
2940 01:49:39 - he was fucking hilarious. - Oh, yeah.
2941 01:49:40 And-and he got away with so much shit,
2942 01:49:42 like, because he was so freaking likable.
2943 01:49:44 What kind of stuff? Like, w-what'd he get away with?
2944 01:49:46 One time, we were driving down the West Side Highway
2945 01:49:48 - after being out all night... - Mm.
2946 01:49:50 You know this.
2947 01:49:51 This is a good one.
2948 01:49:53 And, uh, he's, like,
2949 01:49:54 he's up on the... through the sunroof.
2950 01:49:56 He's, like, sitting on top of the car.
2951 01:49:57 We're like... We couldn't get him in.
2952 01:49:59 So we start speeding up, stopping short, you know.
2953 01:50:03 By the time we hit the bridge, he fell onto the windshield.
2954 01:50:08 - So he's... - What?
2955 01:50:09 he's, like...
2956 01:50:10 What?
2957 01:50:11 Hanging on, cursing at us, putting his face
2958 01:50:14 up against the windshield.
2959 01:50:15 He's like, "You motherfuckers!"
2960 01:50:17 It was like some real Tom Cruise shit.
2961 01:50:20 So...
2962 01:50:24 We get into Brooklyn.
2963 01:50:25 And sure-sure enough, there's cops.
2964 01:50:27 Like, uh, like they were waiting for us.
2965 01:50:29 Oh, shit.
2966 01:50:30 So now I'm like, "Oh, fuck. We're screwed."
2967 01:50:32 Stan gets off the car. He goes over to the cop.
2968 01:50:34 I'm thinking, "Oh, shit, he's gonna fucking clock this cop.
2969 01:50:38 He's gonna, you know..."
2970 01:50:39 And he goes right up to him, grabs his face,
2971 01:50:41 and he kisses him on the lips.
2972 01:50:44 They went to high school together.
2973 01:50:46 They went to fucking high school together.
2974 01:50:47 I'm like, "Only Stan could get away with that."
2975 01:50:49 I swear to God.
2976 01:50:51 Well, you know, the rumor is
2977 01:50:52 that he got the coke from the cops.
2978 01:50:53 Not that cop. There was another cop he knew in Manhattan.
2979 01:50:56 What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No.
2980 01:50:57 - Coke? What? No. - Guys, guys, guys.
2981 01:50:59 - Guys, it's his dad. - So?
2982 01:51:01 - I didn't know it was a secret. - It's his dad.
2983 01:51:02 You can't just tease me with that.
2984 01:51:04 - Please, guys, but... - It was...
2985 01:51:05 You don't understand. My mom, my mom tells me
2986 01:51:07 all these stories about how much
2987 01:51:08 he's like a saint and all that shit.
2988 01:51:09 Like, I-I would love to hear a coke story.
2989 01:51:10 - Please. - The PG-13 version.
2990 01:51:12 No, you don't... No, the real version.
2991 01:51:13 You don't understand the amount of pressure I'm under,
2992 01:51:14 - thinking this guy's perfect. - All right, fuck it, fuck it.
2993 01:51:16 All right, we were coked out of our minds.
2994 01:51:18 - Nice. - All right? We all were.
2995 01:51:19 We all... Well, I mean, uh, we were.
2996 01:51:21 - But that was a different time. I mean, we all did it. - Right.
2997 01:51:23 This guy was the cokehead.
2998 01:51:24 - You were the cokehead. - All right.
2999 01:51:26 I stopped four years ago. You know that.
3000 01:51:28 What are you talk... How do you think
3001 01:51:29 he stayed this skinny all these years?
3002 01:51:30 No, I have a high metabolism.
3003 01:51:31 They should have his face on a nickel in Bolivia.
3004 01:51:38 But playtime was playtime, all right?
3005 01:51:40 Like, you know, when he was at work,
3006 01:51:42 he was, he was all, you know, business.
3007 01:51:45 All right? And he was the guy you wanted by your side
3008 01:51:48 if-if you were going into a fire.
3009 01:51:50 Yeah, I mean, if they were gonna,
3010 01:51:51 like, build a fireman from scratch,
3011 01:51:53 he would've been, you know...
3012 01:51:56 - Prototype. - Yeah. Yeah.
3013 01:51:57 Exactly. You know, top to bottom...
3014 01:51:59 He's a fireman.
3015 01:52:02 You know?
3016 01:52:03 - You know, as brave as they come. - Yeah.
3017 01:52:05 You know, I was thinking about what you said at the game
3018 01:52:09 about, you know, like, firemen shouldn't have kids.
3019 01:52:15 Let me tell you something.
3020 01:52:17 You know, your dad, he didn't just die
3021 01:52:19 saving those two people that night.
3022 01:52:21 I mean, he did that a lot.
3023 01:52:23 You know, like, sometimes,
3024 01:52:25 he wouldn't even wait for the line.
3025 01:52:26 He'd just, he'd just go in, like, a fully involved room,
3026 01:52:28 and you're, like... I'm like, "What are you doing?"
3027 01:52:30 And because if-if he heard there was somebody in there,
3028 01:52:33 he'd just go in.
3029 01:52:35 That's the way, you know...
3030 01:52:37 He... That's who he was.
3031 01:52:38 That's how he was built, you know?
3032 01:52:40 He couldn't, he couldn't not be that way.
3033 01:52:44 You understand?
3034 01:52:46 Thank you. No, thank you, thank you for sharing.
3035 01:52:49 That's awesome.
3036 01:52:51 He would slap the shit out of me
3037 01:52:53 if he heard me say this about him, but he was a hero.
3038 01:52:58 And heroes are necessary.
3039 01:53:00 And they should be allowed to have families, all right?
3040 01:53:03 But I know it means, you know,
3041 01:53:06 that people suffer.
3042 01:53:09 And I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
3043 01:53:12 Well, but I'm sorry for being a dick.
3044 01:53:14 - There's-there's two sides to every story. - No.
3045 01:53:17 Thank you for sharing with me. Thanks for taking me here.
3046 01:53:20 - All right, we don't have to get all Oprah. - Yeah.
3047 01:53:23 - It's all right. - Hey, to Stan.
3048 01:53:25 - Yeah, Stan. - Yeah, Stan.
3049 01:53:26 - Stan. - Stan. - Stan.
3050 01:53:35 Hey
3051 01:53:38 Come on, try a little
3052 01:53:40 Nothing is forever
3053 01:53:42 There's got to be something better than
3054 01:53:45 In the middle
3055 01:53:46 But me and Cinderella
3056 01:53:49 We put it all together
3057 01:53:50 We can drive it home
3058 01:53:56 With one headlight
3059 01:54:04 She said it's cold, it feels like...
3060 01:54:08 My head hurts. I...
3061 01:54:09 This-this is why I don't drink. I just, I just smoke weed.
3062 01:54:14 Hey, so what are you gonna do?
3063 01:54:18 With-with what?
3064 01:54:21 With your life.
3065 01:54:24 You must be passionate about something.
3066 01:54:28 Um, yeah, the... the tattoo thing.
3067 01:54:30 I... I love that.
3068 01:54:34 Were you, like, into that?
3069 01:54:36 No, you know, it-it takes a lot of practice, you know, and...
3070 01:54:42 None of my friends will let me tattoo them anymore and...
3071 01:54:46 Hey, why don't you give me a tattoo?
3072 01:54:49 What?
3073 01:54:51 What-what?
3074 01:54:52 Come on, I don't have any tattoos.
3075 01:54:53 I'm a, I'm a blank slate, man.
3076 01:54:56 Put it on my back. Yeah, use it for practice.
3077 01:54:58 Well... well, you're just saying this
3078 01:55:00 'cause you're drunk, right? You're not...
3079 01:55:02 - You're not actually... - Isn't everybody drunk
3080 01:55:03 when they get their first tattoo?
3081 01:55:06 Touché, Ray.
3082 01:55:07 Yeah.
3083 01:55:08 It's my back. I don't give a fuck.
3084 01:55:10 I'm never gonna see it.
3085 01:55:12 Plus, I got to tell you something, you know.
3086 01:55:15 I saw that drawing you did for Harold.
3087 01:55:20 I was kind of blown away by it, man. You...
3088 01:55:23 You're getting really good at it.
3089 01:55:25 I'm practicing a lot.
3090 01:55:27 Yeah.
3091 01:55:28 Like anything, you keep doing it, you get better at it.
3092 01:55:31 And I, you know...
3093 01:55:32 You know, I do want to see you do well, all right?
3094 01:55:36 I-I believe in you.
3095 01:55:39 Thanks, man.
3096 01:55:41 You... you must really love me.
3097 01:55:44 I love you, too.
3098 01:55:48 Uh, I-I appreciate that, but I'm not ready...
3099 01:55:51 Y-You-you gonna say it back?
3100 01:55:52 I'm not ready to say something like that.
3101 01:55:54 You got to say it back.
3102 01:55:55 What-what if I die tomorrow?
3103 01:55:58 Then I'll be that guy saying,
3104 01:56:00 "You know, even though I never said it..."
3105 01:56:06 Uh, look...
3106 01:56:07 I would love to tattoo your back.
3107 01:56:09 Okay, cool.
3108 01:56:10 All right, but here's the deal. No unicorns.
3109 01:56:14 - No rainbows, all right? - Uh.
3110 01:56:15 None of that shit little girls like to color in.
3111 01:56:18 Okay.
3112 01:56:19 No body parts. No nudity.
3113 01:56:20 - Okay. - No Chinese letters.
3114 01:56:22 - All right. All right, fine. - I want, I...
3115 01:56:23 I want to be able to fucking read
3116 01:56:24 whatever you put back there.
3117 01:56:25 I don't need some o-order for orange chicken or some shit.
3118 01:56:28 All right.
3119 01:56:30 Here we go. You ready?
3120 01:56:31 Yep, let's do it. Let's get it over with.
3121 01:56:33 Yeah, I-I really appreciate this.
3122 01:56:35 This is... It's actually very nice.
3123 01:56:38 Good.
3124 01:56:39 All right.
3125 01:56:43 Fuck.
3126 01:56:47 Dude, why do you get these?
3127 01:56:49 Um, I don't know. I, uh...
3128 01:56:51 Whenever I'm going through something, I just,
3129 01:56:53 you know, I get one.
3130 01:56:54 It relaxes me and calms me down.
3131 01:56:56 Helps me, like, think things through, you know.
3132 01:56:58 - This relaxes you? - Yeah.
3133 01:57:01 You ever think of taking, like, a yoga class?
3134 01:57:04 Meditating?
3135 01:57:05 Why don't you just give blood?
3136 01:57:07 There's still needles involved.
3137 01:57:09 Yeah, that's a nice tattoo.
3138 01:57:11 It's aces.
3139 01:57:13 - You looking at my cards, you piece of shit? - What?
3140 01:57:16 No, no, no, no. I'm talking about the tattoo.
3141 01:57:17 What are you doing?
3142 01:57:18 - What? - First good hand you dealt me
3143 01:57:20 all night, you're cheating?
3144 01:57:21 - He was talking about the tattoo. - Exactly.
3145 01:57:22 You are the worst liar ever.
3146 01:57:25 What's six times four?
3147 01:57:26 24.
3148 01:57:28 24. Yeah, 24.
3149 01:57:30 What's seven times five?
3150 01:57:34 - 35. - Good job.
3151 01:57:37 Look how smart you are.
3152 01:57:38 I'm trying to guess what you're drawing
3153 01:57:40 by the, by the way your hand's going.
3154 01:57:41 Remember, nothing weird or I'll kill you.
3155 01:57:43 - Nothing weird. - Okay.
3156 01:57:45 It doesn't look weird, does it?
3157 01:57:47 No, not at all.
3158 01:57:48 Oh, good, 'cause you know I'll murder him.
3159 01:57:50 It looks wonderful.
3160 01:57:52 Oh! Is it supposed to hurt?
3161 01:57:54 Is it supposed to hurt that much?
3162 01:57:56 It's-it's a needle going into your back. Yeah.
3163 01:57:58 I know, but I thought I had more back fat than that.
3164 01:58:01 Can I get a tattoo?
3165 01:58:03 - No. No. - Sure.
3166 01:58:04 - All right. - No.
3167 01:58:05 Never.
3168 01:58:06 Don't mess with perfection.
3169 01:58:10 Everybody goes.
3170 01:58:11 Both companies, first due.
3171 01:58:13 Phone alarm. Box 3-4-3.
3172 01:58:15 18 Carpenter Avenue between Rockland and Franklin.
3173 01:58:18 Smoke coming from the second- floor window of a private home.
3174 01:58:21 Turnout.
3175 01:58:37 Yoo-hoo.
3176 01:58:39 - Excuse me. - Yeah?
3177 01:58:41 Hey, man. How you doing?
3178 01:58:42 What's up, man?
3179 01:58:43 I need some assistance over here, please.
3180 01:58:45 - Sure, I... - Hey, give me a sh...
3181 01:58:46 - Oh, my God! - Ah, don't worry about it.
3182 01:58:48 Listen, everything's all good.
3183 01:58:51 It's, uh, really nothing.
3184 01:58:52 I just need a little assistance.
3185 01:58:53 This is something that needs to be taken care of now.
3186 01:58:54 What happened? Are you okay? Did you get shot?
3187 01:58:56 - Were you stabbed? - It's not really a big deal.
3188 01:58:59 My vape exploded in my pocket. Just...
3189 01:59:00 I didn't stretch right before yoga.
3190 01:59:03 I was playing tennis. I slipped.
3191 01:59:05 - Well, which one is it? - What do you want me to say?
3192 01:59:08 It was nothing.
3193 01:59:09 I just need some medical attention, but just by you.
3194 01:59:12 Dude, I got to call 911. I don't know what to do.
3195 01:59:15 No, no, no, listen, listen. No police, please.
3196 01:59:17 Not today.
3197 01:59:18 - What does that even mean? - No.
3198 01:59:20 We don't need to get the government involved
3199 01:59:22 into this situation.
3200 01:59:23 We can handle this together.
3201 01:59:24 Dude, I'm so high. I can't help you right now.
3202 01:59:26 I'm high, too.
3203 01:59:28 Well, then you know how I feel.
3204 01:59:30 What do you want me to do?
3205 01:59:33 Take a look at this.
3206 01:59:34 I need some sort of foam.
3207 01:59:36 - Holy shit! - You got some stitching?
3208 01:59:37 - Dude! - Do-do you have, like, a little needle?
3209 01:59:39 - Do you have something with a needlepoint? - No.
3210 01:59:41 What happened?
3211 01:59:42 It was a misunderstanding. It was an argument.
3212 01:59:44 But we're all friends again. We worked it out.
3213 01:59:46 You know how buddies get.
3214 01:59:47 Dude, I... We-we, we got to take you to the hospital
3215 01:59:49 - or you're gonna die. - I'm not gonna die.
3216 01:59:51 - Yes, you are. - I'm gonna die?
3217 01:59:53 Yeah, I'm positive.
3218 01:59:53 I'm positive that you're gonna die
3219 01:59:55 if we don't go to the hospital.
3220 02:00:03 Are there metal detectors in here?
3221 02:00:04 I-I'm not sure. Why?
3222 02:00:06 Don't even worry about it.
3223 02:00:07 I'll tell you later.
3224 02:00:09 Oh, shit.
3225 02:00:11 - Oh, fuck. - You'll be all right.
3226 02:00:13 - Oh, my God. - You'll be all right.
3227 02:00:15 Guys, I need help!
3228 02:00:16 This guy's bleeding! He's losing a lot of blood!
3229 02:00:18 - I need a gurney, please! - Oh, thank you.
3230 02:00:20 - All right, just hold... Put... - Thank you.
3231 02:00:22 Put pressure on it, all right?
3232 02:00:24 Hi. This guy's been, uh, either shot or stabbed.
3233 02:00:26 I don't know. He's been kind of vague about it.
3234 02:00:28 Sir, have you been shot? Stabbed?
3235 02:00:30 No.
3236 02:00:31 - I fell in a thorn bush. - Okay.
3237 02:00:33 Have him fill out this paperwork,
3238 02:00:35 and the doctor will call you when he's ready.
3239 02:00:39 Do me a favor, man. Can we just switch identities?
3240 02:00:41 What? No.
3241 02:00:42 Just let me use your driver's license.
3242 02:00:43 - We look nothing alike, dude. - No one's gonna know.
3243 02:00:46 Just trust me.
3244 02:00:47 I'm bleeding. It feels like I have to shit.
3245 02:00:50 Oh, Jesus Christ.
3246 02:00:52 I'm Margie's son. Do you know...
3247 02:00:53 I'm Margie's son.
3248 02:00:54 I don't know who that is.
3249 02:00:56 I'm just filling in.
3250 02:00:58 Okay.
3251 02:01:00 - I know. - My pain keeps coming.
3252 02:01:02 Tell that fucking cocksucker, my father, that I hate him
3253 02:01:04 and I love him at the same time and I forgive him.
3254 02:01:07 I-I-I do not need to do that, because you're gonna live.
3255 02:01:11 Tell my sister I know she's my mother.
3256 02:01:15 Huh.
3257 02:01:15 Got here as soon as I could.
3258 02:01:18 Hey, man, we got to help this guy.
3259 02:01:19 He's bleeding out.
3260 02:01:20 This a cop?
3261 02:01:22 He looks like a cop.
3262 02:01:23 Excuse me, ma'am.
3263 02:01:25 Ray Bishop, Ladder 57.
3264 02:01:26 We got to get this guy some help.
3265 02:01:28 We got to move it along here.
3266 02:01:29 - Follow me. - Okay, come on, buddy.
3267 02:01:31 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
3268 02:01:32 Here we go, here we go, here we go.
3269 02:01:33 All right.
3270 02:01:36 Abdominal wound!
3271 02:01:37 There we go.
3272 02:01:39 Where? Where?
3273 02:01:40 Put him in Two.
3274 02:01:41 In Two.
3275 02:01:42 Let's get vitals.
3276 02:01:44 - All right, buddy. - All right, get him right here.
3277 02:01:45 We got to get your shirt off.
3278 02:01:46 Let me know if you need trauma.
3279 02:01:48 - Oh, shit. - Okay. Here we go.
3280 02:01:50 - Nice and easy, nice and easy. - I'll meet you at Six. Six.
3281 02:01:55 You okay? It's gonna be okay.
3282 02:02:04 He's one of your friends?
3283 02:02:05 No, no, no. I-I was just helping him.
3284 02:02:07 Yeah, Scott brought him in.
3285 02:02:09 You know, guy just kind of wandered into the firehouse
3286 02:02:11 while we were out on a call.
3287 02:02:12 You guys are covered in blood. Take these off.
3288 02:02:14 Throw 'em here.
3289 02:02:18 Put 'em over here.
3290 02:02:20 Just leave 'em there. Down there.
3291 02:02:22 What's that?
3292 02:02:23 - What's that? - Oh.
3293 02:02:26 I let your son practice on me.
3294 02:02:29 How's it look? He won't let me see it till it's done.
3295 02:02:31 Let me see it.
3296 02:02:39 He, um, he-he let me do whatever I wanted, so...
3297 02:02:46 Jesus Christ.
3298 02:02:47 He didn't put anything stupid on there, did he?
3299 02:02:50 Took forever.
3300 02:03:10 Nah.
3301 02:03:13 Yeah, I, um... I can never get the eyes right
3302 02:03:15 'cause I-I just make them too dark, but I-I...
3303 02:03:17 It's beautiful.
3304 02:03:20 I'm proud of you.
3305 02:03:22 - You could really do this. - Thanks.
3306 02:03:25 There's not any, like, Chinese characters
3307 02:03:27 or anything back there, is there?
3308 02:03:29 No, no.
3309 02:03:31 No, no, no.
3310 02:03:32 You told me not to.
3311 02:03:33 I would never disobey you.
3312 02:03:35 Thank you for letting him do this, Ray.
3313 02:03:37 Oh, I didn't do anything. I just sat there.
3314 02:03:39 He did all the work.
3315 02:03:40 You liked going over the spine, didn't ya?
3316 02:03:43 Took it like a champ.
3317 02:03:45 I sat there wincing.
3318 02:03:52 Oh, my God.
3319 02:03:53 Can we at least close the curtain?
3320 02:03:55 - Oh. My guys. - Guys, people die in here, all right?
3321 02:03:57 - My guys. My guys. - Uh... - Aw, come on.
3322 02:04:00 Mom, I don't want to hug him. He's not wearing a shirt.
3323 02:04:02 - Come on, you can handle it. - Ah, dude, you're so smooth.
3324 02:04:05 You're-you're like a sea otter.
3325 02:04:07 Please, we have to stop.
3326 02:04:08 We have to stop. Please. Please.
3327 02:04:09 Please stop? Please stop.
3328 02:04:10 But first, you will get to Lord and Lady Stark and you will...
3329 02:04:13 I hung out with, like, Ray and the guys
3330 02:04:15 from the firehouse the other night at the bar,
3331 02:04:17 and, um, they were just telling all these stories about Dad.
3332 02:04:20 And there were stories I never heard of before,
3333 02:04:22 like, you know, about him, like, doing coke
3334 02:04:25 and being hilarious.
3335 02:04:27 - Yeah. - You know?
3336 02:04:29 Yeah. Yeah.
3337 02:04:32 Well, he was hilarious.
3338 02:04:35 Yeah.
3339 02:04:36 Uh...
3340 02:04:38 He was also out of control and crazy.
3341 02:04:42 - Do you understand? - You can't.
3342 02:04:45 Why-why didn't you just tell me?
3343 02:04:47 I don't know.
3344 02:04:48 I just... I wanted you to have some good memories
3345 02:04:51 to offset what happened.
3346 02:04:52 I didn't know what to-to say.
3347 02:04:53 Was I gonna say, "Your dad really loved watching cartoons
3348 02:04:57 with you 'cause he was tripping all the time"?
3349 02:05:00 Yeah.
3350 02:05:01 Sounds like a good dad to me.
3351 02:05:04 No, you know what?
3352 02:05:05 Uh, I get it.
3353 02:05:07 Knowing that he had his issues and... problems
3354 02:05:13 just like everybody else, it makes me feel better.
3355 02:05:16 It really... it really humanizes him.
3356 02:05:20 Well, he was a great guy.
3357 02:05:23 He was a very complicated guy.
3358 02:05:27 He had a really big heart.
3359 02:05:30 Mm.
3360 02:05:31 Like, like Ray?
3361 02:05:35 Uh...
3362 02:05:36 Yeah, I guess, like Ray, yeah.
3363 02:05:39 Yeah.
3364 02:05:40 Yeah.
3365 02:05:43 Um, I guess you could say that you have a type.
3366 02:05:47 Uh-huh.
3367 02:05:49 Yeah.
3368 02:05:51 I have a type.
3369 02:05:58 I know we don't really talk about it much, but...
3370 02:06:05 ...I, uh...
3371 02:06:08 I-I miss Dad.
3372 02:06:11 A lot.
3373 02:06:17 Yeah.
3374 02:06:21 Me, too.
3375 02:06:30 And, uh...
3376 02:06:34 I'm sorry that I've been
3377 02:06:38 so difficult to deal with.
3378 02:06:41 I'll...
3379 02:06:43 I'll try and...
3380 02:06:44 get it together.
3381 02:06:46 It's just hard.
3382 02:06:50 I think it'll always be hard.
3383 02:07:05 I, uh...
3384 02:07:07 I really like Ray, but I...
3385 02:07:09 He's-he's got to lose that mustache.
3386 02:07:11 I mean, come on.
3387 02:07:12 When we go out in public,
3388 02:07:14 people think that I'm kidnapped, you know?
3389 02:07:15 The looks that we get at the supermarket.
3390 02:07:18 They're like... People-people look at me like,
3391 02:07:19 "Are you okay?" And I'm like, "Yeah, no, yeah.
3392 02:07:22 It's my mom's boyfriend."
3393 02:07:32 - All right, buddy, good luck. - Thanks for the lift.
3394 02:07:34 All right, man.
3395 02:07:35 Confidence, right?
3396 02:07:37 - Yeah. - All right, go get 'em.
3397 02:07:41 Hey.
3398 02:07:44 Kelsey. Hi.
3399 02:07:46 Hey. How are you?
3400 02:07:48 - What are you doing here? - Oh, I just, uh...
3401 02:07:50 I-I just wanted to talk to you.
3402 02:07:52 Well, I have my civil service test today.
3403 02:07:54 Oh, yeah, I-I remembered.
3404 02:07:55 That's why I wanted to, you know...
3405 02:07:57 - I have to go. - Can I come?
3406 02:07:59 What? Why?
3407 02:08:00 You know, for, like, moral support.
3408 02:08:02 I just want to be there for you.
3409 02:08:05 - Well, I can't stop you. - Oh, all right, great.
3410 02:08:07 Y-Your hair looks nice.
3411 02:08:09 Thanks.
3412 02:08:23 Listen, I know you probably want to talk about
3413 02:08:25 relationship stuff and serious bullshit, but I can't.
3414 02:08:28 I have to study and focus right now so I don't screw this up.
3415 02:08:31 Okay.
3416 02:08:32 I, um...
3417 02:08:34 I can help you, if you like.
3418 02:08:36 You don't want to help me.
3419 02:08:38 Mm, yeah, I do. I would love to.
3420 02:08:42 Okay, w-will you just test me on this part?
3421 02:08:45 Yeah. That one?
3422 02:08:48 - All right. - Okay.
3423 02:08:49 Here we go.
3424 02:08:51 "Amy must complete three tasks at work.
3425 02:08:53 "She estimates that the first two tasks
3426 02:08:56 "will take her 45 minutes to complete
3427 02:08:58 "and that the third task will take her
3428 02:09:00 "two hours and ten minutes to complete.
3429 02:09:01 "If Amy's estimate is correct,
3430 02:09:03 how long will it take her to complete all three tasks?"
3431 02:09:08 Three hours and 40 minutes.
3432 02:09:10 Did-did you just guess that or did know the answer?
3433 02:09:13 No, that's correct.
3434 02:09:15 That's incredible.
3435 02:09:17 - Wow. - It's not that amazing.
3436 02:09:19 - It is, no. - Relax.
3437 02:09:20 I-I... Is it all math questions?
3438 02:09:21 I thought it was, like, city shit.
3439 02:09:23 No, no.
3440 02:09:24 You have to prove that you're not stupid,
3441 02:09:26 and then you can work for the city.
3442 02:09:27 Oh. Oh.
3443 02:09:29 So I can never work for the city.
3444 02:09:34 Hey, uh, I...
3445 02:09:36 I, uh...
3446 02:09:38 I, um...
3447 02:09:40 I love you.
3448 02:09:41 A lot.
3449 02:09:43 I-I always have, and I, um...
3450 02:09:46 That's why I always act so weird.
3451 02:09:49 'Cause I don't know how to express myself.
3452 02:09:53 Failure to do so
3453 02:09:55 could result in serious injury.
3454 02:09:57 - Should I ask the next? - Yeah.
3455 02:09:59 All right, so, "Of the 250 people
3456 02:10:02 "working at a medical facility, 16% are clerks.
3457 02:10:05 How many are..."
3458 02:10:06 Thank you for riding the Staten Island Ferry.
3459 02:10:20 I've lost my place.
3460 02:10:25 "Of the 250 people working at a medical facility,
3461 02:10:29 - 16% are clerks." - Mm-hmm.
3462 02:10:31 "How many are not clerks?"
3463 02:10:33 You're showing me the page.
3464 02:10:49 Hey, will you wait for me while I do it
3465 02:10:51 and then we can go back to Staten Island together?
3466 02:10:54 Yeah. Of course. How long are you gonna be?
3467 02:10:57 Three and a half hours.
3468 02:10:59 All right.
3469 02:11:01 - Really? - Yeah, I'll go figure something out.
3470 02:11:03 Okay.
3471 02:11:04 All right. Cool.
3472 02:11:06 Good luck.
3473 02:11:10 Maybe do something cultural.
3474 02:11:12 Like, broaden your horizons.
3475 02:11:14 All right.
3476 02:11:15 Good luck. Have fun.
3477 02:11:16 Oh, my God, I'm freaking out!
3478 02:11:19 I'm scared.
3479 02:11:29 Mm
3480 02:11:30 Ay-oh
3481 02:11:34 Hey
3482 02:11:36 Ratatat
3483 02:11:38 Yeah
3484 02:11:43 Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
3485 02:11:48 Tell me what you know about dreaming, dreaming
3486 02:11:52 You don't really know about nothing, nothing
3487 02:11:57 You don't really care about the trials of tomorrow
3488 02:12:01 Rather lay awake in the bed full of sorrow
3489 02:12:05 I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know
3490 02:12:09 Everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold, hey
3491 02:12:14 I'll be fine once I get it
3492 02:12:19 I'll be good
3493 02:12:21 I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know
3494 02:12:26 Everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold, hey
3495 02:12:31 I'll be fine once I get it
3496 02:12:35 I'll be good
3497 02:12:38 Tell me what you know about dreaming, dreaming
3498 02:12:42 You don't really know about nothing, nothing
3499 02:12:47 Tell me what you know about
3500 02:12:48 Them night terrors every night
3501 02:12:51 5:00 a.m., cold sweats, waking up to the sky
3502 02:12:55 I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know
3503 02:12:59 Everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold, hey
3504 02:13:04 I'll be fine once I get it
3505 02:13:09 I'll be good
3506 02:13:13 Pursuit of happiness
3507 02:13:16 Yeah
3508 02:13:20 I'll get it
3509 02:13:22 I'll be good.
3510 02:13:26 Ooh...
3511 02:13:32 Ooh
3512 02:13:34 Oh, never, never, never
3513 02:13:37 Did I ever stop to think
3514 02:13:40 That I'd find myself here with you
3515 02:13:43 In your own world of dreams
3516 02:13:45 Oh, but here I am
3517 02:13:48 Again with you
3518 02:13:50 You are my joy
3519 02:13:53 And my joy is you
3520 02:13:56 Never, never
3521 02:13:58 Never did I ever stop loving you
3522 02:14:03 Yeah
3523 02:14:05 Sometimes I stop and ask
3524 02:14:08 And wonder where you were
3525 02:14:10 Then I rip you from my mind
3526 02:14:13 'Cause I thought you didn't care
3527 02:14:15 Oh, but here I am
3528 02:14:18 Again with you
3529 02:14:20 This time I know
3530 02:14:23 What my heart can do
3531 02:14:26 Never, never
3532 02:14:28 Never did I ever stop loving you
3533 02:14:33 Yeah
3534 02:14:36 I don't know why
3535 02:14:40 I had to play the game of losing you
3536 02:14:43 To make me see
3537 02:14:45 That I still love you
3538 02:14:48 Oh, yeah
3539 02:14:51 But here I am
3540 02:14:53 Again with you
3541 02:14:56 You are my joy
3542 02:14:58 And my joy is you
3543 02:15:01 Never, never
3544 02:15:03 Never did I ever stop loving you
3545 02:15:08 Oh, no, oh, no
3546 02:15:11 Never, never, ooh, never, baby
3547 02:15:15 Did I ever stop loving you
3548 02:15:18 I just can't stop
3549 02:15:19 No, no, no
3550 02:15:21 Never, never, never
3551 02:15:25 Did I ever stop loving you
3552 02:15:28 Ooh
3553 02:15:30 Never, baby
3554 02:15:34 Did I stop loving you
3555 02:15:38 Oh, no, oh
3556 02:15:40 Never, never, never
3557 02:15:44 Did I ever stop loving you, baby
3558 02:15:48 Yeah, oh
3559 02:15:50 Never, never.