非常男女 Not Another Teen Movie (2001)(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:00:12 Ijust hope it doesn`t cause anypermanent damage.
2 00:00:21 -How long have you been here?-A while.
3 00:00:27 - You missed your prom?- Yeah.
4 00:00:36 The thing is, when I made that bet--
5 00:00:40 There he is. It`s Freddie.He`s wearing a tux.
6 00:00:44 -What`s up?-Yes.
7 00:00:47 I met a whole otherperson inside of you.
8 00:00:49 -Inside both of us.-Shut up.
9 00:00:52 I would`ve never foundthat person inside of me...
10 00:00:54 ...if it weren`t for the personinside of you.
11 00:00:56 That`s sweet.
12 00:00:59 The whole other personinside of me...
13 00:01:01 ... thinks that the whole other personinside of you has come a long way.
14 00:01:04 So would the whole other personinside of you like to dance?
15 00:01:42 Y es.
16 00:01:45 -Morning, sweetie!.-Daddy!.
17 00:01:48 -Why are you in here?-Why am I in here?
18 00:01:51 It`s her birthday, Dad.
19 00:01:53 Happy birthday, sweetie.
20 00:01:59 -What`s that buzzing sound?-I just need a minute here.
21 00:02:03 Maybe it`s that construction.
22 00:02:06 Where`s my Iittle angel?
23 00:02:08 Happy birthday, honey.
24 00:02:10 Grandma? Grandpa?
25 00:02:11 Rosco!.
26 00:02:16 Rosco, go.
27 00:02:19 -Hello.-Father O`FIannagan?
28 00:02:21 I brought your special friendsfrom the center!.
29 00:02:24 -Happy birthday!.-Janey`s making faces.
30 00:02:27 It smells in here.
31 00:02:29 Okay, make a wish, dear.
32 00:02:32 No.
33 00:02:57 This isn`t a typical high school.
34 00:03:00 At John Hughes, there are no cliques,no exclusive social groups.
35 00:03:04 You`re accepted for you,not who you hang out with.
36 00:03:08 We`II divide into groupsso you can get to know your peers.
37 00:03:12 Let`s get all you jocksin one group...
38 00:03:16 ...and get you slutty girlsover here by me.
39 00:03:20 Hey, how you doing?Welcome.
40 00:03:22 You Iosers shouldhang out in the back.
41 00:03:25 That clearly includes you.Come on, get back there.
42 00:03:29 Take a Iook at the kidstanding beside you.
43 00:03:34 They`re your only friendsfor the next four years.
44 00:03:37 Okay, Iet`s move it, people!.
45 00:03:50 -You need to start dating.-I don`t date. You know that.
46 00:03:54 Janey, you know Dad`s rule.
47 00:03:56 I can`t have sex before you.
48 00:03:58 I don`t conform totypical high-school norms.
49 00:04:02 I read Sylvia PIath,Iisten to Bikini Kill and eat tofu.
50 00:04:06 -I`m a unique rebel.-More Iike you`re a Iesbo.
51 00:04:10 Mitch, Ieave your sister alone.
52 00:04:12 Thank you, Daddy.
53 00:04:14 If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher,that`s her decision.
54 00:04:20 Go! Fight! Win!
55 00:04:25 AII right!
56 00:04:29 Nice combination, Crissy!
57 00:04:36 I`ve been meaning to get that fixed.
58 00:04:40 Later, Dad.
59 00:04:42 Hey.
60 00:04:43 I`II be Iate to pick you up.
61 00:04:46 Why? A job interview?
62 00:04:48 No, honey.I`II probably just be way too drunk.
63 00:04:52 That`s good.No drinking and driving.
64 00:04:54 Oh, I`II be driving.I`II just be too drunk to remember.
65 00:04:59 Okay. Bye, Daddy.
66 00:05:02 Bye, pumpkin-head.
67 00:05:09 -Oh, my God!-Get out of the road!
68 00:05:30 Oh, my God, it`s Jake.
69 00:05:33 -Hi, stud.-Hi, Jake.
70 00:05:36 -I Iove that thing with his eyebrows.-Those sideburns.
71 00:05:40 Oh, my God, there`s Jake.He`s so popular.
72 00:05:45 He just Iooked at me.
73 00:05:47 -Here. You can keep it.-Tiff.
74 00:05:49 Hi, Jake. It`s all wet.
75 00:05:53 Melanie.
76 00:05:54 Hey, Jake.
77 00:05:57 Hey, Arthur.
78 00:06:07 Here`s Ricky!
79 00:06:10 Hey, Ricky.How was your weekend?
80 00:06:13 Friday night I stoodoutside your window in the rain...
81 00:06:17 ...screaming your name.
82 00:06:19 Then I spent Saturday and Sundaymaking you this great...
83 00:06:23 ...I`ve-been-desperately-trying-to-tell-you-that...
84 00:06:28 ...I`m-madly-in-Iove-with-you...
85 00:06:30 ...mix tape for your birthday.
86 00:06:32 A mix tape?That`s so sweet, Ricky.
87 00:06:37 See you in English.
88 00:06:42 Catch you guy Iater.
89 00:06:47 What happening?
90 00:06:49 Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretendingto be Asian and shit.
91 00:06:53 That cracker is white!Can`t he see that, yo?
92 00:06:58 Did you get any action this weekend?
93 00:07:01 -I visit grandfather.-I played with my sisters.
94 00:07:05 We`re pathetic.
95 00:07:06 How will we ever Iose our virginityby graduation?
96 00:07:10 -We`re freshmen.-What`s with the attitude?
97 00:07:13 -Not easy to get Iucky here.-Girls are sensitive.
98 00:07:17 They`re not Iooking for sex.They`re Iooking for Iove.
99 00:07:21 Fuck me! Harder!
100 00:07:31 Amanda Becker.
101 00:07:34 She is so perfect.
102 00:07:48 Keep dreaming.
103 00:07:50 What`s up, Reggie Ray?
104 00:07:52 I can`t wait until Friday`s game.
105 00:07:54 What about your head? You havea blood clot the size of a grapefruit.
106 00:07:59 Five more concussions and you`II die.You should take it easy.
107 00:08:03 -Don`t Iisten to him.-Austin.
108 00:08:07 Mr. Not-First-String-Anymoreisn`t first-string anymore.
109 00:08:13 We know what happened Iast timeJake called the plays.
110 00:08:16 And now, our hometown hero...
111 00:08:19 ...first-string quarterback,Jake Wyler!
112 00:08:23 Malik, could you hold these books?
113 00:08:27 Sure. Why not?I am the token black guy.
114 00:08:30 I smile, stay out ofthe conversation...
115 00:08:33 ...and say things Iike, ``Damn,````Shit,`` and, ``That is wack!``
116 00:08:55 What`s she doing here?She graduated four years ago.
117 00:09:00 -Hi, Jake.-Catherine.
118 00:09:02 Can I ask you a question?
119 00:09:04 Why is it when I tell a guyto put it anywhere...
120 00:09:08 -...they always stick it in my ass?-Damn!
121 00:09:11 Way too much information.
122 00:09:13 Oh, no. Too much informationwould be telling you...
123 00:09:18 ...that after they`re doneI take a huge dump.
124 00:09:21 Shit!
125 00:09:25 On their chest.
126 00:09:26 Oh, that is wack!
127 00:09:44 Why do hot girls always walkin slow motion?
128 00:09:54 Priscilla, there you are.
129 00:09:56 Jake, I need someT-to-the-fourth-power-Y.
130 00:10:01 Some time to talk to you.
131 00:10:06 God.
132 00:10:09 It made sense to me, Priscilla.
133 00:10:24 You`re Ieaving me for this guy?
134 00:10:26 I`m sorry, Jake.We met over spring break.
135 00:10:33 I`m not ordinary.
136 00:10:36 You`re Ieaving me for this guy?
137 00:10:39 His name is Les...
138 00:10:41 ...and he`s the most beautiful thingI`ve ever seen.
139 00:10:47 And so is his bag.
140 00:11:19 Janey Briggs,please report to the offiice.
141 00:11:28 Being a foreign-exchange studentis scary...
142 00:11:31 ...adjusting to a new school,a new country.
143 00:11:34 But you`II find that the studentsare very accepting.
144 00:11:42 You have a sunny disposition.
145 00:11:47 You got your schedule?
146 00:11:57 Well, isn`t that wonderful?
147 00:12:00 Janey, come in.
148 00:12:02 This is Areola,our foreign-exchange student.
149 00:12:05 Janey will show youto your first class.
150 00:12:09 Hi.
151 00:12:17 -I Iike your backpack.-Grazie.
152 00:12:24 Dude, I heard there`s an undercoverreporter posing as a student.
153 00:12:29 Dude, no way, dude.
154 00:12:31 Do you know whereMr. Keller`s English class is?
155 00:12:35 -Down the hall, on your Ieft.-Sweet, dude.
156 00:12:39 For the thousandth time, I said,``Swallow that thing.``
157 00:12:43 Am I right?
158 00:12:49 How could Priscilla dump me,Jake Wyler?
159 00:12:53 Who does she think she is?
160 00:12:55 I got two words for you, Jake:.
161 00:12:57 Prom queen, material.
162 00:13:02 Austin, she`s an illusion.
163 00:13:04 You take away the makeup,the clothes...
164 00:13:08 ...the way she wears her hair,the smell of her perfume...
165 00:13:12 ...that cute face she makeswhen she`s tonguing my balls....
166 00:13:18 Look, she`s replaceable.
167 00:13:20 Given the right Iook,the right boyfriend...
168 00:13:23 -...any girl could be prom queen.-I smell a bet.
169 00:13:27 Jakey, Jakey,about to make a big...
170 00:13:30 ...mistakey.
171 00:13:32 Here`s the wager:. I`II pick the mosthopeless girl at this school...
172 00:13:36 ...and I`II bet that youcan`t turn her into prom queen.
173 00:13:39 You`re on, Austin.
174 00:13:42 I`II bet you Iose that bet...
175 00:13:44 ...but Iearn a much morevaluable Iesson and win.
176 00:13:47 In Iife, that is.
177 00:13:50 You`re both on.
178 00:13:52 AII right.
179 00:13:54 Let`s find you a prom queen,Mr. Let`s-Find-Me-A-Prom-Queen.
180 00:13:59 So, Areola, I noticedyour accent keeps changing.
181 00:14:03 Where are you from?
182 00:14:05 I cannot tell you that...
183 00:14:06 ...because I am a genericforeign-exchange student...
184 00:14:09 ...whose country of originis of Iittle importance.
185 00:14:12 Well, have fun in chemistry.
186 00:14:14 Rightio, Iove. See you at teatime.
187 00:14:21 What about her?
188 00:14:23 Baby`s got back.Hunch, that is.
189 00:14:25 No, way too easy.
190 00:14:29 -I have no pigment-Any girl with a guitar is hot.
191 00:14:33 I need sunscreen
192 00:14:35 Even a hippie albino.She could be prom queen.
193 00:14:38 What about the Fratelli sisters?
194 00:14:41 So they`re slightly disfiguredand connected.
195 00:14:44 But combined, those two make upone pretty decent chick.
196 00:14:48 -I`d do them!-I know, Reggie Ray.
197 00:14:51 I`m Iooking for somebodyreally messed up.
198 00:14:54 I`m talking about a real shitbomb.
199 00:15:02 Well, bombs away.
200 00:15:06 No, no, no, anyone but her!Not Janey Briggs.
201 00:15:11 Guys, she`s got glassesand a ponytail.
202 00:15:14 She`s got paint on her overalls!What is that?
203 00:15:18 There`s no wayshe could be prom queen.
204 00:15:21 Damn, that shit`s wack.
205 00:15:25 Aim for the head!
206 00:15:42 Can you imaginewhat they do in there?
207 00:15:45 Holy cow.
208 00:15:46 Guys, get your headsout of the gutter.
209 00:15:50 It`s a Iocker room.It`s no sexier in there...
210 00:15:53 ...than it is in here.
211 00:15:55 Molly, can you help metake off my panties?
212 00:15:59 Hold on, I`ve got Iotionon my hands.
213 00:16:02 That`s okay.You can just use your mouth.
214 00:16:14 Thanks, Miss Peters.
215 00:16:16 So...
216 00:16:17 ...who would Iike to share their poemwith the class?
217 00:16:23 Mr. Keller? Over here.Right here. PIease.
218 00:16:26 -Anyone?-Mr. Keller!
219 00:16:30 -I`m not sure we should be doing this.-Quiet. I hear them.
220 00:16:34 Hey, I found a buffalo nickel!
221 00:16:43 This is gonna be good.
222 00:16:45 I think I see nipple.
223 00:16:47 You think we should Iet them knowwe`re up here?
224 00:16:49 Hey, Molly, the hot water`snot working on my shower.
225 00:16:52 -Mind if I share yours?-Not at all, Christy.
226 00:16:55 But we`re gonna haveto get real close.
227 00:16:57 Okay. How about I pressup against your back?
228 00:17:02 Man, it is hot in here.
229 00:17:08 I gotta take off my shirt.
230 00:17:11 What?
231 00:17:13 Doesn`t even have to rhyme.
232 00:17:15 Doesn`t even have to be a poem.
233 00:17:18 PIease pick me.I`m the one.
234 00:17:20 Yes...
235 00:17:22 ...Ricky.
236 00:17:32 -``Ten Things I Love About Janey"`-Oh, not again.
237 00:17:35 By Ricky Lipman.
238 00:17:38 I love it when Janey talksI love it when Janey walks
239 00:17:43 I love it when Janey drinksI love it when Janey blinks
240 00:17:48 I love it when Janey says hi
241 00:17:51 I love it when Janey says``See you in English ``
242 00:17:58 I love sitting next to Janey in class
243 00:18:02 I love staring into Janey`s windowAt 1 465 South Pass
244 00:18:09 I love following Janey to the mall
245 00:18:15 And I love
246 00:18:17 Collecting strands of Janey`s hair
247 00:18:22 And rolling them upInto little Janey hairballs
248 00:18:39 Thank you, Ricky,for that interesting poem.
249 00:18:45 I can`t believewhat we just did, Molly.
250 00:18:48 It was a once-in-a-Iifetime experiencethat will never happen again.
251 00:18:54 I don`t know about you guys...
252 00:18:56 ...but I am really proudof Christy and Molly.
253 00:19:00 We`re going back.
254 00:19:04 -Put on my shirt.-I`m trying to get mine.
255 00:19:18 Jackpot.
256 00:19:19 Girl go pee-peenot what I want to see-see.
257 00:19:23 I agree-gree.
258 00:19:24 Would you two please try and bea Iittle open-minded?
259 00:19:28 CIass, Iet`s open our booksand continue with our poetry Iesson.
260 00:19:34 You know what I think about poetry?
261 00:19:39 Oh, is that amusing?
262 00:19:43 Is that what your generationconsiders humor?
263 00:19:54 -This make me kind of happy in pants.-Yeah?
264 00:20:03 Goodness.
265 00:20:05 That make me kind of sad in pants.
266 00:20:09 Shakespeare, Moliere...
267 00:20:13 ...Oscar Wilde.
268 00:20:15 These were humorists.
269 00:20:19 I`m gonna be sick.
270 00:20:22 The sublime poetic geniusof a clever turn of phrase.
271 00:20:27 That is true comedy.
272 00:20:30 Heavens to Betsy.
273 00:20:33 Your modern, moronic, feeble-minded,sophomoric excuse for wit...
274 00:20:41 ...is merely a parade of nasty...
275 00:20:45 ...filthy, vulgar...
276 00:20:49 ...human excrement!
277 00:21:11 -Hey, Janey. What`s up?-Excuse me?
278 00:21:14 Ever want to bethe most popular girl in school?
279 00:21:18 Anorexic, superficial?
280 00:21:20 A whore who Iacks any realIong-term goals?
281 00:21:24 Exactly.
282 00:21:26 If you`re interested,I thought we could go out sometime.
283 00:21:30 Be seen in public.
284 00:21:31 -We haven`t spoken in four years.-Actually, more Iike six.
285 00:21:36 That time when we werein Iine at that theater...
286 00:21:39 ...I was actually saying ``hey``to the person behind you.
287 00:21:50 Friday`s championship gameis against North Compton...
288 00:21:54 ...and that squad always triesto bring it.
289 00:21:57 -Bring what, Priscilla?-Bring it.
290 00:22:00 Right, but what is ``it``?
291 00:22:03 It`s just what they bring, okay?
292 00:22:05 So then it is what.
293 00:22:08 -What?-Exactly. That`s what it is.
294 00:22:11 No, it is what I want it to be.
295 00:22:14 Even if what is what what isor it is what what is...
296 00:22:16 ...it`s just it no matter what, got it?
297 00:22:31 I`m Sandy Sue.It is simply swell to meet all of you.
298 00:22:37 Peachy.You brought a routine?
299 00:22:40 Oh, you bet.
300 00:22:42 Give me an H.Give me a U.
301 00:22:46 Give me a giant pussy-Iicking,ass-fucker cock shit!
302 00:22:53 I`m sorry.That was my Tourette`s.
303 00:22:58 I don`t know about her.
304 00:23:01 Let`s get it straight.This isn`t a cheerocracy.
305 00:23:05 I am the cheertator.
306 00:23:07 I make the cheercisions,I will deal with the cheeronsequences.
307 00:23:12 If there are no more cheeruptions,we can cheertinue.
308 00:23:16 Thank you.
309 00:23:21 Grandpa stuck a finger in my ass!Cum face!
310 00:23:26 She`II cheer do.Great.
311 00:23:31 Goddamn it, Iet`s go now!Thirty-two draw!
312 00:23:34 Goddamn it!Let`s show some goddamn hustle!
313 00:23:37 Look alive out there!This isn`t a goddamn tryout!
314 00:23:41 -Goddamn it!-BIue 21! Hut!
315 00:23:44 What the hell?
316 00:23:45 Nobody`s covering that hole!
317 00:23:48 Goddamn it!Let`s do it again!
318 00:23:52 -Goddamn it!-Marty! Marty! Marty!
319 00:23:56 AII right, Marty.
320 00:24:00 -Get your ass in there.-You sure?
321 00:24:03 Just go, goddamn it.
322 00:24:06 Wyler, we got this wrapped up.
323 00:24:08 AII you gotta do is run out the clock.
324 00:24:14 For God`s sakes,don`t try anything fancy!
325 00:24:17 Goddamn it.
326 00:24:21 Listen, boys.
327 00:24:23 We got time for one more play.
328 00:24:26 -I say we get the ball to Marty.-Damn.
329 00:24:30 No, I`m just happybeing on the field.
330 00:24:33 Coach reckons we should take a knee.We`re up 42-0.
331 00:24:37 I don`t care what coach reckons.
332 00:24:40 You can`t go through Iifebeing scared.
333 00:24:42 If you do, you`II always wonder,``What if?``
334 00:24:46 But if you go out thereand you give it your all...
335 00:24:51 ...that`s heroic.
336 00:24:55 Guys, I appreciate this, but--
337 00:24:57 That`s the spirit! Ready?
338 00:25:05 What are you doing?Get out of here.
339 00:25:08 Not here. Down there.
340 00:25:10 Over here?
341 00:25:11 What are you doing?Over here!
342 00:25:14 Here?
343 00:25:16 We Iove you, Marty!
344 00:25:17 Set, hut!
345 00:25:30 No. No.
346 00:25:33 No, don`t throw it to me.
347 00:25:36 No!
348 00:26:03 -Nice hands, Marty!-I did it.
349 00:26:08 -I`m a hero!-Walk it off!
350 00:26:11 AII right, goddamn it!Hit the showers, goddamn it!
351 00:26:15 Bunch of candy-asses.Lousy practice!
352 00:26:18 We`II get our asses kicked Friday!
353 00:26:21 What about fourth-string?I didn`t get to practice.
354 00:26:25 After all the shenanigansyou pulled Iast season...
355 00:26:29 ...thank God you`re stillin goddamn uniform, goddamn it!
356 00:26:58 If my parents hear I got detention,no dessert for a week.
357 00:27:02 We`ve disgraced ourselvesand our families.
358 00:27:04 Guys, guys.
359 00:27:06 I sense the morale`s a Iittle Iow.I say we make a pact...
360 00:27:11 ...right here, right now.
361 00:27:13 Before the end of the year,we all get Iaid!
362 00:27:17 We always make that pact.
363 00:27:19 We`ve been waiting for thissince puberty.
364 00:27:22 -Two weeks ago!-I just got first hair on ball.
365 00:27:26 I don`t think you understand.
366 00:27:29 We`II become the masters of oursexual destiny.
367 00:27:33 No Ionger will our penises remainflaccid and unused.
368 00:27:37 No Ionger steal Grandfather`s porn.
369 00:27:40 No Ionger will we use blindfoldswhen we jerk each other off.
370 00:27:44 AII right, that`s it.
371 00:27:50 What in God`s name is going on?
372 00:27:52 -What was that ruckus?-I no hear ruckus.
373 00:27:55 -I heard a ruckus.-Can you describe this ruckus, sir?
374 00:28:00 You better watch your tongue,young man!
375 00:28:02 We were just sitting here.
376 00:28:05 You just bought yourselfanother detention.
377 00:28:08 -That`s not fair.-Cry me a river, dickface.
378 00:28:11 -You bought another one.-Eat my shorts.
379 00:28:14 What was that?
380 00:28:16 Eat my shorts!
381 00:28:19 -Don`t mess with a bull.-I`m shaking.
382 00:28:22 -You got another.-Good!
383 00:28:24 -You through?-Not even close, bud.
384 00:28:27 -Want another one?-Yes.
385 00:28:29 -You got it!-Good.
386 00:28:31 -Another one. Had enough?-No.
387 00:28:33 -Another one.-So?
388 00:28:35 -I can keep going.-Go!
389 00:28:37 -Eenie, meenie, minie---Moe.
390 00:28:39 -Your mom`s a---Ho.
391 00:28:41 -He`s a famous clown.-Bobo.
392 00:28:43 Mitch, cut it out.
393 00:28:45 Stop.
394 00:28:47 -Another one.-But I was--
395 00:28:49 That`s another one!
396 00:28:51 -One more for Ox or for Mitch?-Another.
397 00:28:54 -I confused.-Shut up, Wang Chung.
398 00:28:57 I got you for the rest of your Iives.You`re mine.
399 00:29:01 Next time, I`m cracking skulls.
400 00:29:20 How many times have I saidI`m not going to Princeton?
401 00:29:23 I`m not pressuring you.
402 00:29:26 Just give it four years.
403 00:29:27 If you don`t Iike it,you can work at my firm.
404 00:29:31 I don`t want your Iife!
405 00:29:35 That`s okay, son.
406 00:29:36 I heard about what happenedwith Priscilla.
407 00:29:39 The good news is...
408 00:29:40 ...I`ve got the perfect rebound girl.
409 00:29:43 Really?
410 00:29:46 Beverly! Could you come in here?
411 00:29:55 That`s Mom!
412 00:29:56 What do you say, kiddo?
413 00:29:59 I`m gonna Ieave you two alone.
414 00:30:12 Would you preferthe top or bottom, dear?
415 00:30:14 Oh, my God!
416 00:30:17 So you in love?
417 00:30:22 -Yeah, I think I am.-Well, who is this guy?
418 00:30:26 His name is Blane. He`s a senior.He`s so beautiful.
419 00:30:35 Janey? Sweetheart?
420 00:30:41 Hi, Daddy.
421 00:30:43 Is something wrong?You were quiet at dinner.
422 00:30:46 You were passed out on the table.
423 00:30:54 Listen, honey...
424 00:30:56 ...I may not always be coherentor conscious...
425 00:31:01 ...but I know when my girl`sgot something on her mind.
426 00:31:05 Well, there is this popular boy,Jake.
427 00:31:09 Oh, sweetie.
428 00:31:14 Jake knocked you up, didn`t he?
429 00:31:16 No, he asked me out.
430 00:31:20 Do you Iike him?Are you attracted to him?
431 00:31:23 I mean, would you give him head?
432 00:31:26 He is kind of cute, but...
433 00:31:29 ...he`s always been a total jerk.
434 00:31:32 It`s weird that he`stalking to me now.
435 00:31:35 Especially after you`ve packed on acouple of pounds.
436 00:31:43 What do you think I should do?
437 00:31:45 Look, sweetie.
438 00:31:47 I never want you to do anythingthat compromises who you are...
439 00:31:52 ...because you`re very,very special to me.
440 00:31:56 If Jake is only asking you outto get into your pants...
441 00:32:00 ...well, then I`d say...
442 00:32:02 ...go out with him.
443 00:32:04 You could certainly usethe popularity points.
444 00:32:08 And if Jake Iikes you...
445 00:32:10 ...then maybe those kids`II quitthrowing bags of shit on the porch.
446 00:32:21 I feel better.
447 00:32:25 Thanks for the advice, Daddy.
448 00:32:29 That`s what I`m here for,pumpkin-tits.
449 00:32:37 Catherine.
450 00:32:39 -I need to ask you a favor.-It`s about time.
451 00:32:43 No, not that.
452 00:32:47 You`re the cruelest girlin high school.
453 00:32:50 You`re the only one who can helptrick Janey into Iiking me.
454 00:32:54 That girl with the glassesand the ponytail?
455 00:32:58 Don`t forget thepaint-covered overalls.
456 00:33:02 Well...
457 00:33:05 ...it`s going to be difficult.
458 00:33:08 But I think I can help you.
459 00:33:11 Sit.
460 00:33:15 For a price.
461 00:33:19 And this time,I don`t want your car.
462 00:33:24 I want you.
463 00:33:26 Catherine, that`s disgusting.You`re my sister.
464 00:33:30 Only by blood.
465 00:33:32 -What is wrong with this family?-Hey, do you want my help or not?
466 00:33:51 Okay, there are three thingsyou need to do...
467 00:33:55 ...to have Janeyeating out of your hand.
468 00:34:06 First, you earn her trust.
469 00:34:08 Punk!
470 00:34:10 Come on, Ieave him alone!
471 00:34:11 Hey! Come on, guys, back off.That`s enough, okay?
472 00:34:19 You Iittle shit.
473 00:34:32 Don`t you guys mess with him again.
474 00:34:35 Once you`ve got her trust,it`s time to make her feel special.
475 00:34:41 Pick a song with her name in it.That always works.
476 00:35:03 Janey`s got a gun
477 00:35:06 Janey`s got a gun
478 00:35:08 She`s got a gun!Janey`s got a gun!
479 00:35:11 The whole world`s come undone
480 00:35:14 Janey Briggs got a gun
481 00:35:17 So run awayRun away from the pain
482 00:35:21 T ake it easy, miss.
483 00:35:23 -Wait.-Get back here!
484 00:35:25 Run away, run away from the pain
485 00:35:29 Hold her down.
486 00:35:33 Give me your hand!Just give us the gun, Janey.
487 00:35:37 After you`ve made her feel special...
488 00:35:40 ...it`s time to put the icingon the cake.
489 00:35:44 I`m really glad you showed up, Janey.
490 00:35:46 The only reason I came herewas to tell you to Ieave me alone.
491 00:35:51 You know, I was just making a snack.
492 00:35:55 You want one?
493 00:35:57 No. Listen, Jake--
494 00:35:59 I`II be right back.
495 00:36:02 But I....
496 00:36:38 Hungry?
497 00:36:43 I don`t Iike sundaes.
498 00:36:45 It`s not a sundae,it`s a banana split.
499 00:36:51 I don`t Iike those either.Goodbye, Jake.
500 00:37:11 So, Jake...
501 00:37:12 ...how`s it going with Janey, Janey,I couldn`t be any more plainy?
502 00:37:19 Well, you can ask her when I take herto Preston Wasserstein`s big party.
503 00:37:25 Really?
504 00:37:28 Really.
505 00:37:32 How fitting.
506 00:37:33 Everyone here is eating steak...
507 00:37:35 ...but your boy,he`s the chickenshit.
508 00:37:39 Jake may not produce the properenzymes to digest red meat...
509 00:37:43 ...but he`II always bemore of a quarterback than Austin.
510 00:37:47 Oh, really?
511 00:37:50 That`s right.
512 00:37:52 Really.
513 00:37:54 Come on, son. Let`s show them.
514 00:37:58 I smell a bet.
515 00:38:03 Come on, Austin.
516 00:38:12 AII right, Jake, Iet`s do it.
517 00:38:14 AII right, Iet`s go.
518 00:38:17 What`s the odds, huh?Hey, what`s the odds?
519 00:38:20 What, 2-1? Shit.You stupid damn hog.
520 00:38:26 Must`ve been the wind, son.Try again.
521 00:38:32 Damn!
522 00:38:36 I think I moved that time.
523 00:38:39 And that time.
524 00:38:45 Shit!
525 00:38:50 That is wack.
526 00:38:55 Just nail your mother, son.
527 00:38:58 That`s it. That`s it.
528 00:39:01 Way to go, Jake.
529 00:39:03 At Ieast you kept themin the yard this time.
530 00:39:10 I Ieft some moneyon the kitchen counter.
531 00:39:13 Emergency numbersare by the phone.
532 00:39:16 And remember, son:No parties.
533 00:39:18 I know, Dad.
534 00:39:20 Keg coming through.Hey.
535 00:39:22 What`s up, man?
536 00:39:24 We`re trusting you, Preston.
537 00:39:26 -Where do you want the speakers?-In the dining room.
538 00:39:31 You guys should hit the road.
539 00:39:33 I`m taking your Ferrarito buy hookers.
540 00:39:36 We`II call you Iater to check in.
541 00:39:39 I`II be so high,I won`t know where the phone is.
542 00:39:42 That`s my boy.
543 00:39:47 Jake, what are you doing here?
544 00:39:50 I`m taking you to Preston`s big party.
545 00:39:53 I can`t.
546 00:39:54 I`m not dressed to go to a party.I`m a complete mess.
547 00:39:58 I`d say you`re one big fuckingtrain wreck.
548 00:40:20 Maybe a Iittle cover-upwould do the trick.
549 00:40:25 Okay.
550 00:40:30 What do we haveto work with here?
551 00:40:34 These are quite nice.
552 00:40:46 And everything seems to bein working order down here.
553 00:40:55 What are you doing?
554 00:40:59 That`s it. I`ve got it.
555 00:41:03 What?
556 00:41:04 It might seem crazy,but you`II have to trust me.
557 00:41:36 That`s it.
558 00:41:38 I did it. I`m a miracle-worker.
559 00:41:44 Gentlemen...
560 00:41:45 ...may I present to youthe new and improved...
561 00:41:49 ...Janey Briggs.
562 00:42:26 Congratulations. You just gotyour first slow-motion entrance.
563 00:42:53 I`m okay!
564 00:42:55 Janey?
565 00:42:58 Come on out of there, honey.Quit farting around.
566 00:43:11 -Got your mom`s car keys?-Check.
567 00:43:16 -SIeeping bags.-Check.
568 00:43:17 -Condoms.-Check.
569 00:43:19 Three pubescent Iibidos to take uson a series of wild adventures.
570 00:43:24 Check! Road trip!
571 00:43:42 We here.
572 00:43:44 Gentlemen, tonight we go to ourfirst high school party.
573 00:43:48 This is the place to buzz the Brillo.
574 00:43:52 How you plan on buzzing Brillo?
575 00:43:55 With this Ietter.Amanda Becker will know the truth:
576 00:43:59 I`ve Ioved her since I first saw her.
577 00:44:03 Mitch, that was yesterday.
578 00:44:06 Welcome to the party.
579 00:44:08 If you`re going to have sex,do it in my parents` bedroom.
580 00:44:13 -Does she go to our school?-It`s not even the same person.
581 00:44:18 Janey-stainey-stained-pants-overalls?
582 00:44:21 How did you talk me into this?
583 00:44:23 Priscilla`s freaking outnow that Janey`s Iost her ponytail.
584 00:44:28 I`m going to gofuck a complete stranger.
585 00:44:31 Hey, I`m a complete stranger.
586 00:44:37 Relax, all right?It`s going to be okay.
587 00:44:41 Nice turtleneck.
588 00:44:42 What`s your name?
589 00:44:44 I`m Sandy Sue.Limp-dick fag-fucker!
590 00:44:48 Who told you that?AIison?
591 00:44:50 AIison was bitter when we broke up.
592 00:44:53 -Completely fake.-Yeah, that`s not her real hair color.
593 00:44:58 -She`s wearing the same outfit as me.-It Iooks much better on you.
594 00:45:02 Where is she?I thought she`d be here by now.
595 00:45:20 What`s going on?
596 00:45:23 We can`t talkuntil she starts moving again.
597 00:45:44 What are you doing here?
598 00:45:48 What do you mean?
599 00:45:50 I`m supposed to be the only black guyat this party.
600 00:45:55 -Damn. Shit.-Yeah, I know.
601 00:45:59 -It`s wack.-It`s wack.
602 00:46:00 My bad, man.
603 00:46:01 -Take this.-Thanks.
604 00:46:03 Do your thing.
605 00:46:05 -Peace out, brother.-Honest mistake.
606 00:46:10 Yeah.
607 00:46:31 Get back to the Iine, geek.
608 00:46:37 Thank you.
609 00:46:46 Hi, my name is Catherine.
610 00:46:50 Yeah, I know.We just had sex five minutes ago.
611 00:46:59 Not scoring any cock either?
612 00:47:01 Cock? I`ve never even been kissed.
613 00:47:28 Janey.
614 00:47:34 Janey!
615 00:47:36 Janey.
616 00:47:47 What up, my yellow brothers?Chinks in the house!
617 00:48:16 This never actually happensin real Iife.
618 00:48:18 Then why are we doing this?
619 00:48:20 I have no idea.
620 00:48:31 Janey!
621 00:48:39 Reggie Ray, have youseen Janey anywhere?
622 00:48:44 It`s a good night for smoking.
623 00:48:47 Ain`t that right, Sausage?
624 00:48:57 Okay, now close your eyesand wet your Iips.
625 00:49:01 -Are you for real?-Do you want to Iearn or not?
626 00:49:06 I guess.
627 00:49:19 -See? That wasn`t so scary.-It was nothing.
628 00:49:26 Okay.
629 00:49:28 Let`s try again.
630 00:49:31 Only this time, I`m gonnastick my tongue in your mouth.
631 00:49:36 And when I do that, I want youto massage my tongue with yours.
632 00:49:40 -And that`s what first base is.-Okay.
633 00:49:45 Eyes closed.
634 00:50:12 That was cool.
635 00:50:17 Now...
636 00:50:18 ...have you ever eaten pussy before?
637 00:50:24 You call this a party?!
638 00:50:27 I`m a golden goddess!
639 00:50:30 -Show us how drunk you are!-Go for it!
640 00:50:40 You`re a unique rebel, Janey!
641 00:50:43 Janey, are you all right?
642 00:50:45 -I told you not to Iet me drink.-I gave you a nonalcoholic beer.
643 00:50:55 What the hell are you doing here?
644 00:50:58 I was invited.
645 00:50:59 Look, you may have Iost those glassesand that ponytail thing...
646 00:51:04 ...but you`re still a Ioser.
647 00:51:13 Look at that. Oh, my God.
648 00:51:16 That`s going to stain.
649 00:51:24 You`re not going to cry now, are you?
650 00:52:08 Look, you can`t just starta slow clap at any old time.
651 00:52:13 -You gotta wait for the right moment.-When is it the right moment?
652 00:52:21 You`II know.
653 00:52:36 Nobody`s allowed down here.
654 00:52:38 Janey, I just thought--
655 00:52:40 How did you get in here?I dead-bolted the door.
656 00:52:45 There`s a hole in the sideof your house.
657 00:52:53 Who`s that?
658 00:52:55 -It`s my mother.-You have her eyes.
659 00:53:01 She died when I was 6.
660 00:53:05 I`m sorry.
661 00:53:07 I remember it Iike it was yesterday.
662 00:53:10 Christmas, 1 989. Dad had beenfired from the zipper factory.
663 00:53:16 Mom was pulling in tricksto make ends meet.
664 00:53:19 Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscarfor My Left Foot.
665 00:53:23 And all I wanted wasa Iittle Betsy Wetsy doll.
666 00:53:26 I remember those. Push her belly,she`d piss all over herself.
667 00:53:31 She said she was going outto get my dad a bottle of gin...
668 00:53:36 ...but I knew she was goingto get me that present.
669 00:53:40 It was raining really hardthat night...
670 00:53:44 ...and the roads were slippery.
671 00:53:47 Oh, God, Janey.A car accident.
672 00:53:51 No. Cancer.
673 00:53:57 I had to take onall of her responsibilities:
674 00:54:00 Cooking and cleaning andbreast-feeding Mitch.
675 00:54:04 It`s in the past.Think about your future.
676 00:54:07 Look how talented you are.
677 00:54:10 I have this dream of just hoppingon a plane and going to Paris.
678 00:54:15 There`s an art school,but I can`t afford it.
679 00:54:18 Unless I raise $26,000before the admissions cutoff.
680 00:54:23 My parents give a scholarship to girlswho can`t get into art school.
681 00:54:28 Really? That`s amazing.
682 00:54:31 This year we gave it to Lupe,the Mexican finger painter.
683 00:54:35 I think you`d really Iike her work.
684 00:54:39 Sometimes I wish my Iifewas a fairy tale...
685 00:54:43 ...and some guy would comeand take me away.
686 00:55:10 -I was---Yeah, because we--
687 00:55:12 -My eyes were shut.-And we couldn`t even--
688 00:55:24 I`m gonna....
689 00:55:27 -I`m going to go.-Okay.
690 00:55:30 Congratulations to the men andwomen nominated for prom queen.
691 00:55:38 Janey!
692 00:55:40 -Janey.-What a nerd.
693 00:55:44 Hi. Check it out.
694 00:55:46 You have been nominatedfor prom queen.
695 00:55:48 -What?-Yeah.
696 00:55:52 -I can`t believe it.-Yeah.
697 00:55:55 So do you have a date yet?
698 00:55:58 No, nobody`s asked me.
699 00:56:01 Do you wanna go?
700 00:56:04 Of course, if somebody asked me.
701 00:56:07 Then I`m asking you right now.
702 00:56:10 About what?
703 00:56:12 The prom.
704 00:56:14 Yeah, I know.It`s on Saturday, silly.
705 00:56:17 See you in English.
706 00:56:19 Okay.
707 00:56:22 I had a feelingyou were gonna say that.
708 00:56:35 Think you`II be prom queen?Well, think again, Janey.
709 00:56:39 You put the ``ass`` in ``embarrassment,``the ``boo`` in ``taboo"`
710 00:56:44 And the ``suck`` in ``Iiposuction"`
711 00:56:50 Is that the best you can do?
712 00:56:53 No.
713 00:56:55 You also put the ``brat``in ``bratwurst"`
714 00:56:58 And the ``eew`` in ``jujitsu"`
715 00:57:01 And the ``ism`` in ``This is alljust a defense mechanism"`
716 00:57:10 So I told her, ``Take the old Iady andsend your mama back"`
717 00:57:16 So you asked your four-eyedcircus freak to the prom yet?
718 00:57:21 -We resent that!-We resent that!
719 00:57:25 Why don`t you just drop it, Austin.
720 00:57:28 Jake made a few paint stainsin his pants thinking about Janey.
721 00:57:34 It`s just a bet. Okay, man?
722 00:57:37 You always had a thingfor ugly girls...
723 00:57:40 ...Mr. I-Have-a-Thing-for-Ugly-Girls.
724 00:57:46 You mean Janey?
725 00:57:48 She Iooks as goodas a dumpster full of gristles.
726 00:57:52 BIing-bling.
727 00:57:56 Janey Briggs...
728 00:57:58 ...is hot.
729 00:58:17 -Hey, Janey.-Hey, Jake.
730 00:58:20 I`ve been doing a Iot of thinking...
731 00:58:23 ...and there`s somethingI want to ask you.
732 00:58:28 I don`t want to makea big deal of it...
733 00:58:31 ...so I`m just gonna Iay it out there,okay?
734 00:58:37 Here it is.
735 00:58:41 See, I don`t Iike making big speeches.
736 00:58:44 I`m a straight shooter.I call them Iike I see them.
737 00:58:48 What you see is what you get.
738 00:58:51 Ain`t nobody gonna break my stride.Ain`t nobody gonna slow me down.
739 00:58:56 Jake, are you tryingto ask me to the...?
740 00:58:59 Yeah.
741 00:59:02 I`d Iove to go with you.
742 00:59:09 Great. Great.
743 00:59:14 I`II see you in English.
744 00:59:16 You--
745 00:59:19 It`s Friday night, it`s 8:.00...
746 00:59:21 ...and that can only mean one thing.
747 00:59:23 You guessed it. A new episodeof Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.
748 00:59:29 But if you`re not a fanof Melissa Joan Hart...
749 00:59:31 ...and I`m not sure who isn`t...
750 00:59:33 ...there`s a state championshipto be played.
751 00:59:37 AII right. It`s time to play some football!
752 00:59:41 The John Hughes Wasps take onthe North Compton Wildcats.
753 01:00:04 Goddamn!
754 01:00:13 That`s the fastest halfof football ever.
755 01:00:21 We saw you at our practice.I know you stole our routine.
756 01:00:25 I don`t know what you mean.We do our own cheers. Right, girls?
757 01:00:30 That`s right.
758 01:00:31 Well, then, you better bring it.
759 01:00:35 Oh, it`s already been broughten.
760 01:00:38 Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah!
761 01:00:41 We are the North Compton Wildcats
762 01:00:44 We`re black, we know it
763 01:00:46 We shake our booty and show it
764 01:00:48 We ain`t whiteWe ain`t white
765 01:00:50 We definitely ain`t whiteBreak it down, nigga
766 01:00:59 Damn, those bitches represent!
767 01:01:10 AII right!
768 01:01:12 -Reggie Ray.-I smell a bet.
769 01:01:15 You all right?
770 01:01:17 Coach says it`s okayto bleed from the ears.
771 01:01:25 I got to go back out on the field.
772 01:01:30 AII right. Be careful.You only have three--
773 01:01:34 Two concussions Ieft. Reggie Ray.
774 01:01:37 And we`re back.
775 01:01:41 Let`s go, Wasps!
776 01:01:44 Let`s go, Wasps!
777 01:01:46 Let`s go, Wasps!
778 01:01:49 BIue 33! Set!
779 01:01:53 That`s defense right there.
780 01:01:56 Say ``good day`` to Reggie Ray.
781 01:02:01 Sit down. He got the windknocked out of him.
782 01:02:04 -Come on, Reggie Ray, get up!-Reggie Ray.
783 01:02:08 You still have another concussion!
784 01:02:13 Come on, dog!
785 01:02:15 It doesn`t Iook good, coach.
786 01:02:18 -Can he play?-He`s in a coma.
787 01:02:20 Answer my question! Can he play?
788 01:02:23 He can`t breathe.Get him to a hospital.
789 01:02:26 Listen right now!
790 01:02:28 I don`t care what you have to do!He stays in the game, goddamn it!
791 01:02:35 -Coach, I`m in Iove with you.-Goddamn it!
792 01:02:37 Fuck.
793 01:02:45 Holy shit, this motherfucker`s heavy.
794 01:02:49 BIue 1 5!
795 01:02:53 Set! Hut!
796 01:02:58 Goddamn it, Reggie Ray!
797 01:03:01 Shit.
798 01:03:22 Wham, bam, what the fuckjust happened?
799 01:03:28 Okay, Wyler, I`ve got no choice.You`re the only quarterback I`ve got.
800 01:03:34 -I say give the ball to Marty.-I`m just happy being on the field.
801 01:03:39 -You`ll always wonder, ``What if?``-I`m a hero!
802 01:03:46 Goddamn it! Get in the game!
803 01:03:48 You`re our only chance!
804 01:03:51 -You`re a pussy, Wyler!-Do it for Marty`s torso!
805 01:03:59 You got butterflies, huh?
806 01:04:01 Who are you?
807 01:04:10 I`m the wise janitor.
808 01:04:12 I impart knowledgeand help overcome fears.
809 01:04:15 I also replace the urinal cakes.
810 01:04:17 I`m here to help youget your throw back.
811 01:04:21 -How did you--?-I`ve been watching.
812 01:04:23 During practice, in the hallways,in the Iockers, taking a shower...
813 01:04:28 ...whipping boys with a wet towel.
814 01:04:31 -Can tell you kind of Iike that.-Hey! Let`s get back to the throw.
815 01:04:36 What happened to Martywasn`t your fault.
816 01:04:39 Really?
817 01:04:40 Okay, it was.But you got to get over it.
818 01:04:43 It could`ve happened to anybody.
819 01:04:46 Anybody that disobeyed the coachand the team...
820 01:04:50 ...and threw to a 90-pound kidwho shouldn`t have been on the field.
821 01:04:55 Stop! How is any of thissupposed to be helping me?
822 01:04:59 Right. Forget what I said.
823 01:05:01 You got to go out there, believein the ball and throw yourself.
824 01:05:06 You can do it.
825 01:05:13 I`m going out there.
826 01:05:21 Only 25 seconds remaining,and the season...
827 01:05:25 ...rests in the hands of fourth-stringquarterback Jake Wyler.
828 01:05:30 Translation: We`re shit out of luck.
829 01:05:33 Give me a W!
830 01:05:35 Give me a Y!
831 01:05:38 Give me a--Lick my pussy ass cock shit!
832 01:05:42 Lick my pussy ass cock shit!
833 01:05:49 BIue 83!
834 01:05:50 -BIue 83!-Reggie Ray?
835 01:05:53 I reckon I`m feeling better.
836 01:05:55 Set! Hut!
837 01:06:41 Shit.
838 01:06:56 That has to be the worst passI`ve ever seen, ever.
839 01:07:03 What the hell was that?
840 01:07:33 Jake?
841 01:07:37 Jake.
842 01:07:40 Hey.
843 01:07:42 -You did great out there.-I blew the game, Janey.
844 01:07:46 I Iet everyone down.
845 01:07:47 It`s just a football game, Jake.Besides...
846 01:07:53 ...you didn`t Iet me down.
847 01:07:56 Really?
848 01:07:58 Jake, you`ve taught me to be myself.
849 01:08:01 You never saw me as the girlin glasses.
850 01:08:04 Don`t forget the paint-coveredoveralls.
851 01:08:07 Right, you never noticed those either.
852 01:08:11 You taught me a Iot about myself too.
853 01:08:14 Oh, Jake. Nothing couldever come between us now.
854 01:08:22 Nothing couldever come between us now.
855 01:08:25 Jake Wyler.
856 01:08:28 Congratulations.You blew my perfect season.
857 01:08:31 -Senor You-BIew-My-Perfect-Season.-What do you want, Austin?
858 01:08:36 A Iife.
859 01:08:38 And payback.
860 01:08:40 -Come on, don`t do this.-No, I`II hang around.
861 01:08:43 Maybe tell Janey a IittleS-E-C-R-A-T-P....
862 01:08:52 What`s going on?
863 01:08:54 Austin.
864 01:08:56 This isn`t funny!
865 01:08:58 No.
866 01:09:01 I don`t believe it.
867 01:09:02 I said I`d turn you into prom queenwhen I thought you were ugly...
868 01:09:07 ...the girl with no friends who wasdirt poor and smelled a Iittle funky.
869 01:09:13 Look, I made a mistake.
870 01:09:15 If I could go back, I never would`vemade that stupid bet.
871 01:09:23 What bet?
872 01:09:28 I never said anything about a bet.
873 01:09:41 AII I said was:
874 01:09:43 ``I`m pretending to whisper...
875 01:09:45 ...so Jake thinks I`m telling you asecret and will confess...
876 01:09:50 ...revealing a secret and confirmingeverything I whispered in your ear"`
877 01:10:21 I wish I didn`t make that bet
878 01:10:25 That`s not the guy I want to be
879 01:10:29 If I could just turn back the clock
880 01:10:33 Then Janey would still be with me
881 01:10:40 Tell me, Mom, what should I do?
882 01:10:44 I love this boy
883 01:10:46 But he has been untrue
884 01:10:53 I`ll do my best to make things right
885 01:10:57 I wish we could resolve this fight
886 01:11:02 It could happen
887 01:11:04 It could happen
888 01:11:05 -At the prom tonight-At the prom tonight
889 01:11:15 I`m getting pussy no matter what
890 01:11:18 Even if it with dirty slut
891 01:11:21 True love is what I want the most
892 01:11:24 I just jerked offi in your French toast
893 01:11:28 So what if we have the same mother
894 01:11:34 Tonight I`m gonna fuck my brother
895 01:11:40 In a few hoursI`ll be queen of the prom
896 01:11:45 I`ve been an alcoholicSince my first tour in Nam
897 01:11:51 I asked Janey to the promAnd she doesn`t know why
898 01:11:58 I`m only in the song becauseI`m a black guy
899 01:12:05 I have no moneyI have to make my own dress
900 01:12:11 Look at me, my breasts are perky, yes
901 01:12:17 I`m gonna win her backNo matter what it takes
902 01:12:20 Here I go, I`m gonnaForget about Jake
903 01:12:28 Prom tonight
904 01:12:32 Prom tonight
905 01:12:35 Prom tonight
906 01:12:42 It`s gonna happen, gonna happen
907 01:12:49 At the prom
908 01:12:56 Tonight
909 01:13:19 Hi, Ricky.
910 01:13:21 Thanks. See you in English.
911 01:13:23 Oh, but we`re graduated.
912 01:13:25 AII right, can you--? I`m not--No, can you take it ba--?
913 01:13:28 Can you please not--? AII right.
914 01:13:40 When I was a freshman,I threw 1 76 touchdown passes.
915 01:13:46 My sophomore year, I ran 1 4 inon my own with a sprained ankle...
916 01:13:52 ...a broken phalange, a rupturedduodenum and subdermal hematoma.
917 01:13:57 When I was a junior,I won the science fair...
918 01:13:59 ...for running a Volkswagen Bugoff a potato.
919 01:14:01 Most recently, I was a star of theGreco-Roman Wrestling Federation.
920 01:14:26 I bet she great bonk.
921 01:14:28 Excuse me, Bruce? No.You don`t bonk Amanda Becker.
922 01:14:32 You make sweet, sweet Iove to her.
923 01:14:37 Amanda Becker`s Iike a flower.
924 01:14:40 You smell her.
925 01:14:41 You touch her gently.
926 01:14:44 You admire the beauty.You watch it blossom.
927 01:14:49 And you thank God he createdsomething so perfect.
928 01:14:56 Go to her.
929 01:15:10 Be strong, Mitch!
930 01:15:25 What do you expect from me?
931 01:15:29 -Do you think I`II have sex with you?-No! You don`t understand.
932 01:15:34 Because I am not a cheap slut.
933 01:15:36 I don`t screw every pathetic guythat gives me a Ietter.
934 01:15:43 I give them hand jobs.
935 01:15:53 -Want to dance?-Only if we`re horizontal.
936 01:15:57 I totally heard that.
937 01:16:13 We`re dancing.
938 01:16:36 It`s funny.
939 01:16:37 You`d never suspect everyonehere is a professional dancer.
940 01:16:56 Oh, God. No.
941 01:16:57 I want to do it hereon the dance floor.
942 01:17:00 Janey!
943 01:17:01 Don`t you forget our deal.She wins, you`re mine.
944 01:17:16 And now the moment everypopular guy who`s made a bet...
945 01:17:21 ...to turn a rebellious girlinto prom queen has been waiting for:
946 01:17:26 The announcementof the prom king and queen.
947 01:17:29 This year`s prom king is...
948 01:17:32 Marty!
949 01:17:34 ...Jake Wyler!
950 01:17:51 Way to go, Jake!
951 01:17:53 This year`s prom queen is....
952 01:17:56 You got it, Priscilla!
953 01:17:58 I don`t believe it. It`s a tie.
954 01:18:01 A tie?
955 01:18:03 -Holy shit!-Oh, my God.
956 01:18:06 Your new prom queens are...
957 01:18:10 -...Kara and Sara Fratelli.-Fuck.
958 01:18:14 -Oh, my God!-They deserve it.
959 01:18:20 Congratulations!
960 01:18:24 There we go! Your king and queen.
961 01:18:34 I say we make Iike a treeand branch...
962 01:18:38 ...out of here.
963 01:18:42 AII right, Kara and Sara.
964 01:18:43 Now it is traditionalfor the king and queen...
965 01:18:47 -...to share a ceremonial dance.-Come here.
966 01:18:52 Put your heads on my shoulder
967 01:19:01 You smell good.
968 01:19:17 Janey!
969 01:19:23 Do you know where Austin went?
970 01:19:25 I know he rented a room atthe Sunrise Motel. Room number six.
971 01:19:29 Past the ice dispenser. Hit thePepsi machine, you went too far.
972 01:19:34 Oh, and the door will not be Iocked.
973 01:19:39 That`s all I know.
974 01:19:41 Thanks, Malik.
975 01:19:45 You`re intelligent and insightful.You don`t get the respect you deserve.
976 01:19:52 You really mean that, Jake?
977 01:19:55 That`s great! I`ve always wantedto discuss--
978 01:19:58 I actually got to go. Sorry.
979 01:20:01 Motherfucker.
980 01:20:02 Hold it right there, mister.
981 01:20:05 I am not going to Iet you hurt Janeyagain, okay? Besides, I Iove her.
982 01:20:10 Well, so do I.
983 01:20:12 But I`m the best friend, and I`vebeen in front of her the whole time...
984 01:20:17 ...and she just doesn`t realizeit yet, but she will.
985 01:20:22 I`m the cool guy who`s Iearnedthe error of his ways.
986 01:20:25 She`II forgive my mistakesand realize I Iove her.
987 01:20:31 Damn it. That`s true.
988 01:20:47 Why`s this door Iocked?It`s a fire hazard!
989 01:21:06 Get out of the road!
990 01:21:08 Hey, watch it, man!
991 01:21:10 She`s not attracted to you!
992 01:21:13 She doesn`t Iove you!
993 01:21:16 You`II never be more than a friend!
994 01:21:20 Two dollars!
995 01:21:31 Ice dispenser.
996 01:21:33 Six.
997 01:21:35 Yeah! I`II make you forget allabout Iosing prom queen.
998 01:21:39 Tell me who your daddy is!Tell me who your papa is!
999 01:21:46 Get off her, man!
1000 01:21:48 Priscilla.
1001 01:21:49 Don`t move.
1002 01:21:56 -What`s going on?-Something beautiful.
1003 01:21:59 -Where`s Janey?-Miss Run-Home-to-My-Daddy...
1004 01:22:03 ...ran home to her daddy.
1005 01:22:07 -That`s for taking Janey to the prom.-You put the--
1006 01:22:10 -That`s for hurting her at the party!-This is really turning me on.
1007 01:22:16 That`s for being really weird.
1008 01:22:19 Thank you.
1009 01:22:26 I don`t know what that was for.
1010 01:22:36 -Oh, me so horny.-Oh, me so horny.
1011 01:22:42 You nerd who can`t get pussyfrom American girl?
1012 01:22:47 You smart cookie. How you know?
1013 01:22:49 I know.
1014 01:22:51 You follow me,I give you sucky-sucky.
1015 01:22:59 Hey! What`s everybodystanding around for?
1016 01:23:02 Come on. Join the fun!
1017 01:23:07 Watch me!
1018 01:23:10 Get footloose everybody! Yeah!
1019 01:23:13 One, two, three.Come on, you can--
1020 01:23:16 Kick him in the butt!
1021 01:23:24 Hello.
1022 01:23:27 Hi.
1023 01:23:30 I never thought I`d hear myselfsay this...
1024 01:23:34 ...but for once, I wish I could meeta nice, sensitive guy...
1025 01:23:39 ...who wanted more than just sex.
1026 01:23:44 That is very admirable.
1027 01:23:49 I wish a guy wouldtake me out for dinner.
1028 01:23:53 I feel the same way.
1029 01:23:56 And for once...
1030 01:24:00 ...I wish a guy would take a dumpon my chest.
1031 01:24:06 That is appalling.
1032 01:24:13 That really upsets me.
1033 01:24:16 I can`t believe nobody`s ever takena dump on your chest.
1034 01:24:24 Will you be that guy?
1035 01:24:32 It would be an honor and a privilege.
1036 01:24:46 Janey!
1037 01:24:51 Hello?
1038 01:24:53 Is anybody home?
1039 01:24:56 Get down! Enemy fire!
1040 01:25:00 Mr. Briggs?
1041 01:25:02 Excuse me, sir.Do you know where Janey is?
1042 01:25:05 She went out there. On her own.There`s Charlie everywhere.
1043 01:25:10 Right. Do you know where she went?
1044 01:25:13 Couldn`t take it. Went to the airport.
1045 01:25:15 Something about Paris.Her tour was over.
1046 01:25:20 Paris. Thank you, sir.
1047 01:25:23 I need ammo! I can`t hold them offmuch Ionger!
1048 01:25:34 She`s not here.
1049 01:25:37 Went to the airport.
1050 01:25:40 Thanks.
1051 01:25:42 You`re welcome.
1052 01:25:50 Off the road, you glassesand ponytail freak!
1053 01:26:06 Two dollars!
1054 01:26:08 -Two dollars!-Two dollars!
1055 01:26:16 Next stop, airport.
1056 01:26:19 The red zone is for the loadingand unloading of passengers.
1057 01:26:23 No parking.
1058 01:26:25 Attention, please.
1059 01:26:26 All red Porsche 944s parked in thewhite zone will be towed immediately.
1060 01:26:37 Paris Air, flight 805 to art schoolin Paris...
1061 01:26:41 ...from gate 1 22, is now boarding.
1062 01:26:57 Excuse me, everyone!
1063 01:26:59 There`s a girl boarding a planeright now to Paris that I Iove.
1064 01:27:05 If I don`t get there in time andtell her how I feel...
1065 01:27:09 ...I may never see her again.
1066 01:27:16 Go get her, son.
1067 01:27:18 Good Iuck, young man.
1068 01:27:22 -Go get her!-Go for it.
1069 01:27:26 Oh, hell, just go.
1070 01:27:30 Freeze, bitch!
1071 01:27:42 You`re bleeding on my suitcase.
1072 01:27:51 Excuse me!
1073 01:27:53 Excuse me, everyone!
1074 01:27:55 There`s a girl about to board a planeto Paris right now that I Iove--
1075 01:28:01 We already heard that one. Asshole.
1076 01:28:06 This is the final call for Paris Airflight 805 to art school...
1077 01:28:11 ...departing from gate 1 22.
1078 01:28:14 Janey!
1079 01:28:16 Hey, shithead, that`s mine.
1080 01:28:19 Give it back!
1081 01:28:21 Just believe in the ball, Jake.And throw yourself.
1082 01:28:26 Yeah.
1083 01:28:36 Yes!
1084 01:28:38 Nice shot, Jake.
1085 01:28:42 -Jake?-Janey.
1086 01:28:43 Thank God I got to you in time.Listen to me.
1087 01:28:46 I`m not going to Iet you go to Paris.
1088 01:28:49 -This is the final call...-Why not?
1089 01:28:52 ...for flight 805 to art school.
1090 01:28:54 If you`re finding words to stop a girlfrom leaving, now would be the time.
1091 01:29:00 Janey...
1092 01:29:03 ...I made that bet before I knew you.
1093 01:29:08 Before I really knew me.
1094 01:29:12 Oh, Jake.
1095 01:29:15 Okay, hold it right there.
1096 01:29:21 T ell me you didn`t quoteFreddie Prinze Jr.
1097 01:29:27 I knew it. That was a Iinefrom She`s All That.
1098 01:29:31 I masturbate to that movie.
1099 01:29:36 Do you mind?
1100 01:29:38 No, not at all.Masturbation`s very healthy.
1101 01:29:41 No, stay out of it.
1102 01:29:43 Oh, I`m sorry.I just had to say something.
1103 01:29:45 I couldn`t help myself. Go on.
1104 01:29:47 Thank you.
1105 01:29:49 Janey, you said you couldn`t believein someone that didn`t believe in you.
1106 01:29:55 Well, I believed in you.I always believed in you.
1107 01:30:00 Oh, Jake.
1108 01:30:02 Oh, God. I can`t believeyou fell for that crap.
1109 01:30:06 -That`s Pretty in Pink.-Are you sure?
1110 01:30:09 Trust me.
1111 01:30:11 -Excuse me. What are you doing?-Let me give you some advice, Jake.
1112 01:30:16 Lose the I`m-the-cute-and-sensitive-popular-boy routine.
1113 01:30:20 It`s pathetic.
1114 01:30:22 And tell Janeywhat`s true in your heart.
1115 01:30:25 Stop being such a Iittle bitch.
1116 01:30:29 But I was just trying to--
1117 01:30:30 Don`t even use that eyebrow moveon me. It`s not gonna work.
1118 01:30:33 You do overuse that move.
1119 01:30:35 And you.
1120 01:30:36 Miss Other-Side-of-the-Tracks-Awkward-Rebel-With-GIasses.
1121 01:30:40 Wise up to Jake`s bullshit.Stop being such a dumb-ass.
1122 01:30:48 She`s right.
1123 01:30:51 -Janey....-Yes, Jake?
1124 01:30:55 Maybe you should get on that planeand go to Paris.
1125 01:31:00 Well, if you stay,we really only have the summer.
1126 01:31:04 Then I go to college. We`II spendthe occasional weekend together.
1127 01:31:09 Which is nice.
1128 01:31:11 But chances are, one night I`II getwrecked and have sex with some girl.
1129 01:31:15 You`II call me a slut.
1130 01:31:18 I`II call you a cock-tease,and we`II break up.
1131 01:31:21 So when you really think about it,what`s the point?
1132 01:31:28 Well, that wasn`t exactly the kindof truth I was expecting.
1133 01:31:35 But I`m not gonna fall for it. How biga dumb-ass do you think I am?
1134 01:31:40 You obviously stole thatfrom Karate Kid.
1135 01:31:44 No, actually, I--
1136 01:31:46 Jake, it`s okay.
1137 01:31:49 I Iove you too.
1138 01:31:51 We all know where this is going.
1139 01:31:53 Fucking teenagers.
1140 01:32:05 This is it.
1141 01:32:07 The right moment.
1142 01:32:23 Son of a bitch!
1143 01:32:42 Well, Mitch, I Iearneda very valuable Iesson.
1144 01:32:45 I realized that I don`t really wannaget involved with a girl...
1145 01:32:48 ...unless I`m really in Iove with her.
1146 01:32:52 Yeah.
1147 01:32:55 Nice try, Ox.We know you took it in the ass.
1148 01:32:59 Believe it or not,I, too, Iearned a valuable Iesson.
1149 01:33:03 Bruce, your accent.What happened?
1150 01:33:05 You see, I realizedthat the best way to get the girl...
1151 01:33:08 ...is to just be yourself.
1152 01:33:10 For most people that would bea very valuable Iesson.
1153 01:33:14 But in your case,I`d stick to being Chinese.
1154 01:33:17 Japanese.
1155 01:33:19 So what`d you IearnIast night?
1156 01:33:21 Gentlemen, I Iearnedthe greatest Iesson of all.
1157 01:33:24 That unlike everyone elsein these teen movies...
1158 01:33:27 ...I don`t wanna Iearnsome dumb-ass valuable Iesson.
1159 01:33:30 I still wanna fuck!
1160 01:33:32 -Hey.-AII right.
1161 01:39:33 Ready?
1162 01:39:35 And action!
1163 01:39:37 Come on, Austin.
1164 01:39:41 Holy shit!
1165 01:39:42 I`m a fucking god!
