博物馆奇妙夜 Night at the Museum(EN)Subtitles

SRT Subtitles download

Color: Size:1416 18202224 26283040 LightfaceBold StandardItalic

ASS Custom style subtitle

Subtitle Preview：
1 00:03:17 Hey, watch it.
2 00:03:33 Oh, come on.
3 00:03:43 Hey, Mike!
4 00:03:45 -Hey, Larry. -How you doing?
5 00:03:48 Have you seen Nicky?
6 00:03:49 I'm pretty sure he went with Erica. It was half day today.
7 00:03:52 Parent career Day.
8 00:04:00 -Hey. -Hey. Come on in.
9 00:04:04 -You all right? -Yeah, yeah.
10 00:04:08 Why didn't anybody tell me it was career Day?
11 00:04:10 What do you mean? Nicky said he was gonna tell you.
12 00:04:13 Oh, okay, I guess he forgot.
13 00:04:16 There he is. How are you, Larry?
14 00:04:19 Good. How are you doing, Don?
15 00:04:21 Good.
16 00:04:24 Can you believe this weather?
17 00:04:27 Chilly, right? Chilly, chilly, chilly willy the penguin.
18 00:04:34 Leave me alone. Hey, why don't I go tell the little corncob you're here.
19 00:04:37 Great. Great, that's great. Yeah, thanks.
20 00:04:42 Wow, your fiance really manages to squeeze a lot onto that belt.
21 00:04:46 -Stop it. -What?
22 00:04:47 What? No, it's like he's...
23 00:04:50 ...the Batman of stockbrokers.
24 00:04:52 -Bond trader. -Bond trader. Sorry.
25 00:04:55 Hey, how's it going with that virtual-reality driving range
26 00:04:58 that you wanted to open?
27 00:05:00 Getting there, still waiting for the technology to catch up.
28 00:05:03 It's not easy, there are a lot of moving parts.
29 00:05:06 Hey, do you think Nick would like Queens?
30 00:05:10 Oh, no, Larry. You didn't get evicted again, did you?
31 00:05:14 I didn't...
32 00:05:16 ...get evicted. I didn't get evicted, no. I mean, I didn't...
33 00:05:19 -No, I didn't get evicted yet. It's like... -Larry, listen to me.
34 00:05:22 I don't know how much more Nicky can take.
35 00:05:24 Every couple months, it's a new career, a new apartment.
36 00:05:27 If it wasn't for Nicky, I wouldn't say anything, I would stay out of it.
37 00:05:31 It's just, it's too much instability. It's not good for him.
38 00:05:33 I'm trying to figure things out right now, okay?
39 00:05:41 You know...
40 00:05:43 ...I don't think that Nicky should stay with you.
41 00:05:46 -What? -Just until you get really settled.
42 00:05:51 Hey, Dad.
43 00:05:52 -Hey, ready to carve it up? -Cool.
44 00:06:00 All right, good! Take it, Nicky! Break away!
45 00:06:08 -What are you doing? -Hey, Nicky! Are you all right?
46 00:06:12 -You okay? -I'm fine. Would you get off the ice?
47 00:06:15 Listen. Their left defenseman is a very weak skater.
48 00:06:18 So you go left side, you got a clear shot at the goal. Okay?
49 00:06:21 -Cool, thanks. -All right, man.
50 00:06:24 We're good here. We're good. All right. As you were, skaters.
51 00:06:30 Game on!
52 00:06:33 I'm good.
53 00:06:34 I'm telling you, you tore it up out there today.
54 00:06:37 Thinking the NHL is a serious possibility.
55 00:06:40 I don't really wanna be a hockey player anymore.
56 00:06:45 -All right. What do you wanna be? -A bond trader.
57 00:06:49 A bond trader?
58 00:06:50 Yeah, it's what Don does. He took me to his office last week.
59 00:06:55 That's cool.
60 00:06:57 So you wanna dress up in a monkey suit and tie every day?
61 00:07:00 Like an automaton robot?
62 00:07:03 Trust me, you can't play hockey in a cubicle. Kind of awkward.
63 00:07:07 Well, he's got a pretty big office.
64 00:07:09 That's not the point. Come on, you love hockey.
65 00:07:12 I still like it, but bond trading's my fallback.
66 00:07:15 Your fallback?
67 00:07:17 Wait a minute. You're too young to have a fallback, okay?
68 00:07:20 And also, where did you ever even hear that word?
69 00:07:23 Mom was talking to Don about all your different schemes.
70 00:07:26 She called them schemes?
71 00:07:28 She said it was time you found a fallback.
72 00:07:34 Are you really moving again?
73 00:07:40 I don't know. We'll see. I mean...
74 00:07:42 ...there's some pretty cool places out in Queens.
75 00:07:45 -Yeah. -Hey.
76 00:07:48 Hey, Nicky, look at me.
77 00:07:51 Look at me, man. I wanna tell you something.
78 00:07:53 I know that things have been kind of up and down for me lately...
79 00:07:56 ...and that's been hard for you.
80 00:07:59 But I really feel like my moment's coming and when it does...
81 00:08:01 ...everything's just gonna come together, you know?
82 00:08:05 What if you're wrong...
83 00:08:06 ...and you're just an ordinary guy who should get a job?
84 00:08:16 All right, well...
85 00:08:21 You know what, we'll figure it out, okay?
86 00:08:24 All right? Come on, let's get you back to Mom's.
87 00:08:35 Mr. Daley, I can honestly say, in 43 years at this agency...
88 00:08:38 ...l've never seen a resume quite like yours.
89 00:08:42 All right.
90 00:08:45 That wasn't a compliment.
91 00:08:48 It says here you were the cEo...
92 00:08:50 ...of Snaptime Industries.
93 00:08:52 Care to elaborate on that?
94 00:08:54 Sure. Well, that was the umbrella corporation for my invention,
95 00:08:58 the Snapper.
96 00:08:59 You know, you snap, the lights come on. Snap, they come off.
97 00:09:03 Didn't they already make that?
98 00:09:07 No, no, that's the clapper, which, obviously...
99 00:09:11 ...stole a bit of our thunder.
100 00:09:12 Personally, I don't really see what the big difference is, I mean:
101 00:09:16 You know, whatever, but...
102 00:09:19 ...apparently there is a significant portion of the population
103 00:09:22 that has trouble actually...
104 00:09:24 -...snapping. -Clapping's easier.
105 00:09:28 Debatable.
106 00:09:30 I can't help you.
107 00:09:33 Debbie?
108 00:09:34 Can I call you Debbie? Because...
109 00:09:37 ...I felt a connection when I entered this office...
110 00:09:39 ...and I don't know, I feel like you did too.
111 00:09:42 I didn't feel a connection.
112 00:09:47 Look.
113 00:09:49 I need a job tomorrow, okay?
114 00:09:53 If I don't have one...
115 00:09:56 well, I just need it, okay?
116 00:09:58 Well, I don't know.
117 00:10:01 I might have one thing.
118 00:10:03 They've turned down everyone I've sent over there, but...
119 00:10:08 Great.
120 00:10:10 Who knows?
121 00:10:13 You might get lucky.
122 00:10:48 -Excuse me. Hi. -Hi.
123 00:10:51 I'm Larry Daley. I've got a job interview with cecil Fredricks.
124 00:10:56 -Right. He should still be in his office. -Great.
125 00:11:00 -I'm Rebecca Hutman. I'm a docent here. -Hi.
126 00:11:03 -Let me point you in the right direction. -Great.
127 00:11:09 Teddy Roosevelt, right?
128 00:11:10 -Yes, a great visionary. -Yes, definitely.
129 00:11:14 He was our 4th president, right?
130 00:11:16 -Twenty-sixth. -Twenty-sixth.
131 00:11:19 Please don't touch the exhibits! I mean...
132 00:11:22 Riffraff.
133 00:11:23 Miss Hutman. I cannot tolerate this type of chaos.
134 00:11:27 I mean, this is a museum, not a...
135 00:11:31 Do you know what "museum" means?
136 00:11:34 It doesn't mean, "Daddy, it's a big Tyrannosaurus thing.
137 00:11:38 Can I touch its leg?" No!
138 00:11:41 Work it out, please.
139 00:11:43 -Will do, sir. -Thank you.
140 00:11:46 Dr. McPhee, the museum director.
141 00:11:49 Seems like a fun guy.
142 00:11:51 Control your young, please. Can we?
143 00:12:05 Hello? Just kidding.
144 00:12:09 Hi. I'm Larry Daley. Are you Mr. Fredricks?
145 00:12:12 Mr. Fredricks was my father.
146 00:12:15 I am cecil. Good to meet you, Larry. Nice firm handshake.
147 00:12:18 I like that. Tells a lot about a man. Come on in.
148 00:12:26 Let's talk turkey here.
149 00:12:31 The museum is losing money, hand over fist.
150 00:12:35 I guess kids today don't care about wax figures or stuffed animals.
151 00:12:40 So they're downsizing, which is code for firing...
152 00:12:43 ...myself and the other two night guards.
153 00:12:46 They want to replace us with one new guard.
154 00:12:48 -Oh, sorry. -Well, what are you gonna do?
155 00:12:52 I'd like you to meet my two colleagues here.
156 00:12:55 Reginald? Gus?
157 00:12:58 Where is he? I'll beat him with my fist!
158 00:13:02 Gus, this is Larry Daley, the kid who wants to be the new night guard.
159 00:13:08 Night guard?
160 00:13:09 No, the lady at the agency said this was a museum position.
161 00:13:12 Most important position in the museum, Larry.
162 00:13:16 He looks like a weirdie.
163 00:13:18 Wonderful guard, terrible people skills.
164 00:13:21 Now, listen, lunch box. Don't try anything funny.
165 00:13:24 I once went nine rounds with John L. Sullivan.
166 00:13:28 You never fought John L. Sullivan in your life.
167 00:13:31 Gentlemen, we have a job candidate here.
168 00:13:33 He's got an excellent resume, a winning attitude...
169 00:13:36 ...and I say let's give him a shot. What do you say?
170 00:13:39 Hang on a sec. I think I might wanna have a little time just to think it over.
171 00:13:43 Do you want the job or not, snack shack?
172 00:13:48 No, no, I want the job...
173 00:13:50 welcome to the night guards, Larry.
174 00:13:53 Larry, meet me up on the second floor.
175 00:13:55 I'll slip into my orthopedics and give you a little tour. Arthritic knees.
176 00:14:00 Not fun getting old, my friend. Go on.
177 00:14:09 You really think he's the one?
178 00:14:13 Oh, yes.
179 00:14:15 He's the one.
180 00:14:30 Gotta keep it moving, Larry. I'm pretty spry for an old man.
181 00:14:34 This is the Diorama Room.
182 00:14:38 Oh, yeah.
183 00:14:40 I remember these little guys. Cute.
184 00:14:47 Cecil!
185 00:14:52 Hey, cecil!
186 00:15:07 -Did I get you good? -Yeah.
187 00:15:10 You got me.
188 00:15:16 Seriously, though, no fooling around in here. This stuff is really old.
189 00:15:21 All right, then. As you can see, it's pretty quiet in here these days.
190 00:15:26 On the left there is your Attila the Hun.
191 00:15:31 And here we have our Easter Island head.
192 00:15:36 Hey, cecil.
193 00:15:40 And this, of course, is the Hall of African Mammals.
194 00:15:45 Ah, yes.
195 00:15:48 Monkeys. I love monkeys.
196 00:15:53 -Yeah. -Guy's cute.
197 00:15:55 Yeah, we call him Dexter. He's quite a little...
198 00:15:59 ...ball of fun, aren't you, Dexter?
199 00:16:04 Moving on.
200 00:16:08 And, finally, this is the temple of the Pharaoh Ahkmenrah.
201 00:16:15 And in that tomb right down there, the pharaoh himself.
202 00:16:20 Neat.
203 00:16:21 And hanging on the wall behind him...
204 00:16:24 ...was his most prized possession, the Tablet of Ahkmenrah.
205 00:16:30 Twenty-four-carat gold. It's worth a fortune.
206 00:16:33 Very cool.
207 00:16:35 It is indeed, Larry.
208 00:16:38 Very cool.
209 00:16:44 All right. Report here at 5 tomorrow. We'll walk you through your duties.
210 00:16:48 Okay, 5. I'll be here.
211 00:16:50 Moving on.
212 00:16:53 Hey, it's me. So I got a job.
213 00:16:57 Larry, that's great. What is it?
214 00:16:59 It's a job...
215 00:17:03 ...at the Museum of Natural History.
216 00:17:06 Yeah, so you can tell Nicky that we won't be moving.
217 00:17:09 Larry, this is good news.
218 00:17:10 Yeah, no, definitely. So I'll see you tomorrow?
219 00:17:13 -Okay. -Okay, bye.
220 00:17:25 Larry?
221 00:17:27 Your keys. Your torch.
222 00:17:30 -Right. -You'll wanna strap those to your belt.
223 00:17:33 It can get a little spooky around here at night...
224 00:17:35 ...so you might wanna put a few lights on.
225 00:17:38 All right, flashlight, keys. What am I for...?
226 00:17:44 The instruction manual.
227 00:17:46 Instructions.
228 00:17:48 You start with one, two, three...
229 00:17:51 Four?
230 00:17:53 Are you cracking wise?
231 00:17:54 I ought to punch you in the nose, hopscotch.
232 00:17:58 Leave him alone, Gus. You got it covered, right, Larry?
233 00:18:01 Yeah, yeah, I got it.
234 00:18:03 -You better get it! -Gus.
235 00:18:06 Larry, do them in order, do them all and do them quick.
236 00:18:09 And the most important thing of all to remember:
237 00:18:12 Don't let anything in or out.
238 00:18:15 Out?
239 00:18:16 Good luck, son.
240 00:18:18 -Night, Gus. -Young buck. Cracking wise.
241 00:18:21 Moving on.
242 00:18:58 Hello?
243 00:18:59 Hello!
244 00:19:01 Check!
245 00:19:03 Check.
246 00:19:06 I am Larry.
247 00:19:10 Check! Larry! Larry.
248 00:19:19 Monday! Monday! Monday!
249 00:19:22 Monster Truck Rally.
250 00:20:45 Cecil?
251 00:20:50 Okay, very funny, cecil!
252 00:20:54 What is this, like a David copperfield thing?
253 00:21:05 This is weird.
254 00:21:16 Cecil?
255 00:22:08 Come on. Revolve. Revolve!
256 00:22:26 -Name, please? -Cecil...
257 00:22:29 -...Fredricks! -One moment. Connecting.
258 00:22:33 -Hello. -Cecil! It's Larry Daley!
259 00:22:35 Larry. Yes, how can I help you?
260 00:22:37 The dinosaur... The dinosaur is alive!
261 00:22:40 I'm having a little trouble hearing you, friend.
262 00:22:42 Tequila.
263 00:22:44 The dinosaur's alive!
264 00:22:46 What do I do? Tell me what to do!
265 00:22:47 Read the instructions. It explains everything.
266 00:22:52 Okay, I got them!
267 00:22:55 -I'll see you tomorrow. -Wait! What...?
268 00:23:07 What bone?
269 00:24:06 Fetch?
270 00:24:11 Play fetch?
271 00:24:36 No way.
272 00:24:49 -Dum-dum. -Yes?
273 00:24:51 -You give me gum-gum. -I give you gum-gum?
274 00:24:54 You new dum-dum. You give me gum-gum.
275 00:24:58 Okay, you know what? I have no gum-gum. Sorry.
276 00:25:01 And my name isn't dum-dum, my name's Larry.
277 00:25:03 No, your name dum-dum.
278 00:25:07 Oh, you in trouble, dum-dum.
279 00:25:10 You'd better run-run from Attila the Hun-Hun.
280 00:25:17 See you later, dum-dum.
281 00:25:55 What is happening?
282 00:26:37 Hey.
283 00:26:39 How you doing?
284 00:26:44 Are you...?
285 00:26:46 You're...
286 00:26:49 "Sakagahwahwaya"?
287 00:26:51 You're "Sakagawaya"?
288 00:26:53 Oh, Sakagawea. You're Sakagawea?
289 00:26:56 The glass. I can't...
290 00:26:59 ...hear you.
291 00:27:01 You can't...? You can't hear me?
292 00:27:04 Excuse me. "Who assisted the Lewis and clark..."
293 00:27:07 Right, so that's Lewis and clark and you're... Right.
294 00:27:10 You seem... I'm Larry.
295 00:27:13 What's going on? What's...? Do you know what's going on here?
296 00:27:19 Huns. I gotta...
297 00:28:07 Hey. Hi.
298 00:28:09 Tin Man. Hey. Hi. How you doing?
299 00:28:11 I'm new. It says I'm supposed to lock up the lions
300 00:28:13 or they'll eat me.
301 00:28:16 You're Galileo? No?
302 00:28:41 Okay...
303 00:28:43 Hey, I'm the...
304 00:28:46 Hi. I'm the new guy and I'm just locking up, so...
305 00:28:52 If it's cool with you I'm just gonna get my paperwork...
306 00:28:57 ...and be out of your hair, okay?
307 00:29:55 "Double-check your belt. The monkey probably stole your keys."
308 00:29:59 Monkey.
309 00:30:04 Hey. Hey there. Hi. What's your name? Your name is...
310 00:30:09 No, no, no. Come back. Come back.
311 00:30:11 Dewey? Is that your name, Dewey?
312 00:30:13 No, no, no. What's...? Dewey? Dexter? Dexter. Dexter, right?
313 00:30:17 Hey, Dexter, you wanna give me those keys?
314 00:30:20 I just want to lock up.
315 00:30:22 Yes. Oh, good. Come to Papa.
316 00:30:24 Oh, thank you. Can I have those keys?
317 00:30:27 Oh, good. What a good boy.
318 00:30:29 That's okay. Oh, thank you.
319 00:30:31 Oh, no, no, no. It's okay. Thank you very, very much.
320 00:30:57 Bad monkey. Stop that.
321 00:30:59 That's not right. Are you done?
322 00:31:04 Do you have an issue with me? Do you have an issue with me?
323 00:31:06 Because if I have a problem with somebody, I don't pee on them, okay?
324 00:31:10 And also... Let me tell you something. These keys?
325 00:31:14 Hey. Dexter, that's not funny. Give it back.
326 00:31:16 Dexter. Give...
327 00:31:20 Don't. I know what you're thinking.
328 00:31:22 Don't do it. Not a good idea.
329 00:31:25 Not... Dexter, I need those.
330 00:31:27 Don't encourage him. You think you're funny for your friends, huh?
331 00:31:30 You three guys... what, he's the ringleader, you're the audience?
332 00:31:33 Yeah, no. Don't do it, okay?
333 00:31:35 Lookit... You!
334 00:31:50 Oh, this is not happening.
335 00:32:01 Oh, man.
336 00:32:29 What are you guys doing?
337 00:32:32 I can't feel my lip.
338 00:32:35 Oh, shit.
339 00:32:40 Man.
340 00:33:06 Hey. Hey.
341 00:33:10 Hey, stop that.
342 00:33:17 Hog-tie him, boys.
343 00:33:20 -Get him, that big old Bocephus of a man. -Hey, what are you doing?
344 00:33:24 Cinch him up good. You ain't so big now, are you?
345 00:33:27 Hey. Hey, stop that.
346 00:33:32 Every night, year after year...
347 00:33:35 ...one of you guards locks us up in these boxes.
348 00:33:39 Well, I hereby say, sir, enough!
349 00:33:44 Fire up the iron horse, boys.
350 00:33:54 -Hey, blondie? -Name's Jedediah.
351 00:33:57 All right, Jedediah. Stop the train, please.
352 00:33:59 -That's a big no-can-do, cracker Jack. -What's going on here, huh?
353 00:34:03 -Somebody's gotta pay. -Pay for what?
354 00:34:05 I don't know. Just pay. Now, stop whining and just take it like a man.
355 00:34:15 Seriously, stop the train.
356 00:34:16 -All right, stop the train. -Thank you.
357 00:34:19 Now full speed ahead and ram him!
358 00:34:22 Split his head like a watermelon!
359 00:34:26 For crying out loud.
360 00:34:27 All right, that's enough.
361 00:34:29 We got a breach.
362 00:34:40 I got him. I got him. I got him, guys. I got him...
363 00:34:49 -oh, my... -Prepare the catapults.
364 00:34:52 Octavius, hold on. This ain't your fight.
365 00:34:55 This here giant's on our land.
366 00:34:57 Hey, little guy. Jed? Yeah.
367 00:35:00 Sorry, look. I just... I'm not a giant. I'm just an average-sized...
368 00:35:03 Don't talk down to me.
369 00:35:05 I'm not a giant, guys. All right? You guys are really little.
370 00:35:08 We may be small, but our hearts are large...
371 00:35:12 ...metaphorically speaking.
372 00:35:15 Don't take that wrong. I'm saying you're miniatures.
373 00:35:17 Silence! The Roman Empire knows no boundaries.
374 00:35:20 -Don't you do it, son. -Do what?
375 00:35:23 -Octavius. -Don't do what?
376 00:35:24 -Unleash hell! -Don't...
377 00:35:39 climb aboard, boy.
378 00:35:41 Take the hand, son.
379 00:35:45 Onboard.
380 00:35:48 That's right. You better run, boy. You hear Jedediah?
381 00:35:52 That mustachioed horseman ain't always gonna
382 00:35:54 be there to protect you, you hear me?
383 00:35:59 -Thank you. -Not at all.
384 00:36:01 Theodore Roosevelt, 26th president...
385 00:36:03 ...of these United States of America at your service.
386 00:36:06 Okay. I'm Larry Daley, the new night guard.
387 00:36:13 Pleasure to me you, Lawrence Daley. You'll have to excuse me, though.
388 00:36:18 The hunt is afoot.
389 00:36:21 Hunt's afoot.
390 00:36:23 Excuse me, Mr. President. Could I ask you something?
391 00:36:26 -Yes, but just one question. -All right.
392 00:36:29 Okay, why? Is it just some, like, three-wishes kind of deal, or...?
393 00:36:34 Not at all. Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life.
394 00:36:37 A man must look inward to find his own answers. How can I be of help?
395 00:36:41 I don't really know how to put this, and please don't take it the wrong way...
396 00:36:45 ...but isn't everything in this museum supposed to be, you know...
397 00:36:49 ...dead? -Dead?
398 00:36:52 -Yeah. -Follow me.
399 00:36:57 Yell all you want, pharaoh.
400 00:36:59 You've been in there 54 years. You're not getting out tonight.
401 00:37:03 There's the source of all this commotion.
402 00:37:06 The Tablet of Ahkmenrah.
403 00:37:10 Arrived here in 1952 from the Nile expedition.
404 00:37:15 On that night, everything in this museum came to life.
405 00:37:21 And every night since.
406 00:37:28 So everything in the museum comes to life every night?
407 00:37:31 Exactly.
408 00:37:33 And I'm supposed to do what?
409 00:37:36 You're the night watchman, Lawrence.
410 00:37:39 A venerable position in this institution.
411 00:37:43 -Come on, lad. -All right. Okay. This is impossible.
412 00:37:47 Nothing's impossible. If it can be dreamed, it can be done.
413 00:37:49 Hence the 20-foot jackal staring at you. Don't make eye contact.
414 00:37:53 Your job is to make sure that everyone stays inside the museum...
415 00:37:56 ...because if the sun rises and anyone's on the outside...
416 00:37:59 ...we turn to dust.
417 00:38:02 -You turn to dust? -Dust.
418 00:38:04 -Really? -Really.
419 00:38:07 Now, it's almost dawn. I shall help you restore order tonight.
420 00:38:10 But mark my words, it's the last time I shall ever do so. Is that clear?
421 00:38:15 Yeah. I mean... I mean, I guess. I don't...
422 00:38:18 Stop babbling, boy! Yes or no?
423 00:38:22 -Yes. -Good.
424 00:38:23 Let's ride.
425 00:38:35 All right. So the Hall of Reptiles is secure.
426 00:38:48 What are you looking at?
427 00:38:52 I'm tracking, dear boy.
428 00:38:55 Man's got to track. Welcome to the family, Lawrence.
429 00:38:59 See you tomorrow night.
430 00:39:01 Actually, I gotta be honest. I don't think I'm coming back.
431 00:39:04 What? You've only just begun.
432 00:39:06 Yeah, well, this is not exactly what l...
433 00:39:09 -Lawrence? -Yeah?
434 00:39:10 What did you do before you took this post?
435 00:39:13 Well, I've done a lot of different things.
436 00:39:15 I invented this thing called the Snapper.
437 00:39:17 Did you give up on that as well?
438 00:39:19 No, I just hit a few roadblocks.
439 00:39:21 You might have heard of The clapper?
440 00:39:22 -Lawrence. -Yes, sir?
441 00:39:24 Some men are born great. Others have greatness thrust upon them.
442 00:39:29 For you, this is that very moment.
443 00:40:00 Bully. Got you, boy.
444 00:40:03 Yeah. You got me.
445 00:40:08 Say hello to your little friend.
446 00:40:12 -What are you doing? -Put me down.
447 00:40:14 I don't like to be manhandled.
448 00:40:16 -Just calm down, Jed. -It doesn't feel good.
449 00:40:20 -It makes me feel small and powerless. -You done?
450 00:40:23 I'm gonna shoot you in your dang eye. In your dadgum eye.
451 00:40:29 Yeah, keep shooting. Nothing's gonna happen.
452 00:40:31 Now you know my shame.
453 00:40:34 Jedediah's impotent rage. His guns don't fire. Take me away.
454 00:40:40 This ain't over. You ain't seen the last of me.
455 00:40:42 I don't wanna hear it, okay?
456 00:40:44 Duck!
457 00:40:50 The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
458 00:40:52 This is not worth 11.50 an hour.
459 00:40:54 Look, the giant's scared. There's a bigger giant running around.
460 00:41:35 Hello.
461 00:41:37 Larry?
462 00:41:40 Larry?
463 00:41:47 Oh, don't do that. We're too old for surprises.
464 00:41:50 Really? I thought you liked surprises. Like how you surprised me...
465 00:41:54 ...with the fact everything in the museum comes to life at night.
466 00:41:56 That little sweetheart.
467 00:41:58 We wanted to tell you. You never would have believed us.
468 00:42:01 -You have any idea what I've been through? -What?
469 00:42:03 You have any idea what I've been through?
470 00:42:06 Keep a lid on it, butterscotch.
471 00:42:08 I don't know if what happened last night was real,
472 00:42:10 but I didn't sign up for this.
473 00:42:12 I just need a regular job that is
474 00:42:14 not life-threatening and pays my bills.
475 00:42:16 So thank you very much and I left my uniform in the office...
476 00:42:20 -...and I will be seeing you. -Larry!
477 00:42:28 -Dad? -Hey.
478 00:42:31 Hey, buddy. What are you guys doing here?
479 00:42:33 Oh, Erica had to be in court early,
480 00:42:35 so I'm taking Mr. Big Stuff here to school.
481 00:42:37 But he wanted to swing by, see you in the new job.
482 00:42:41 It's so awesome that you're working here.
483 00:42:44 Hey, Niko, you wanna take a little look-a-doo inside?
484 00:42:46 Maybe your dad will give you a vlP tour.
485 00:42:48 You know what? We're pretty slammed this morning.
486 00:42:51 Yeah, but Nicky, I promise,
487 00:42:53 I'll show you around soon, okay? Deal?
488 00:42:56 -Deal. -All right.
489 00:42:58 -Bye, Dad. -Bye.
490 00:43:00 -Love you. -Love you too, buddy.
491 00:43:02 Bye, now. All right.
492 00:43:33 Hey, Larry.
493 00:43:35 So I was thinking maybe I'll give it one more night.
494 00:43:38 I'm glad you came around. Welcome back.
495 00:43:40 You. New night guard, here, now.
496 00:43:51 -What's up? -"What's up?"
497 00:43:53 Oh, well, take a walk with me and I'll show you, Mr."what's up?"
498 00:43:57 Come on.
499 00:44:00 So would you kindly do me the favor of explaining this?
500 00:44:08 Okay. I'm guessing...
501 00:44:11 And I'm just spitballing here, but looks like that Roman dude got cocky...
502 00:44:16 ...and climbed over into the wild west.
503 00:44:18 And the cowboy knows Roman dude wants to take over his territory...
504 00:44:21 ...so he rounded up a posse and put him in the stockade.
505 00:44:26 "Let's all laugh at me, the comedy night guard."
506 00:44:29 "No" is the answer.
507 00:44:31 Sarcasm back at you, with your humor box.
508 00:44:36 I wasn't laughing. Pretending to laugh...
509 00:44:37 ...if that's what you want, some sort of battle of humor.
510 00:44:41 Do you?
511 00:44:44 No.
512 00:44:47 I don't want... No, I don't want a battle of humor.
513 00:44:49 No, you don't, because it would be a bloodbath.
514 00:44:53 Nothing funny about Little Bighorn.
515 00:44:58 No. I find it about as funny as a "fancist."
516 00:45:02 It's not funny. Okay? And I will not stand for this type of blatant...
517 00:45:09 If I'm not clear, tell me.
518 00:45:14 Am I clear?
519 00:45:16 -Yeah. -Yeah?
520 00:45:22 Hey, cecil?
521 00:45:25 You got an extra copy of that instruction manual?
522 00:45:28 Oh, no. I'm afraid not, Larry. Listen, I'll tell you what you do.
523 00:45:32 Read some books. Brush up on your history.
524 00:45:35 Helped me a lot when I first started out.
525 00:45:39 This museum was originally dedicated to that man on the horse up there...
526 00:45:43 ...President Theodore Roosevelt.
527 00:45:44 He absolutely loved history
528 00:45:46 and believed that the more you know about the past...
529 00:45:48 ...the better prepared you are for the future.
530 00:45:53 Okay, kids. Who can tell me what this room's called?
531 00:45:57 Very good. The Hall of African Mammals.
532 00:45:59 Right here we have the king of the jungle, the lion.
533 00:46:03 Up ahead is one of my favorite creatures in the whole museum,
534 00:46:06 the capuchin monkey.
535 00:46:07 A highly intelligent primate known for its loving
536 00:46:10 and generous nature.
537 00:46:16 Excuse me?
538 00:46:17 I just thought that was...
539 00:46:20 I just was laughing in agreement.
540 00:46:25 Happy monkey.
541 00:46:29 All right, kids. This way.
542 00:46:36 Let me tell you something. I'm not buying it.
543 00:46:38 You might have them fooled, you might have the kids fooled. Not me.
544 00:46:42 Can't get past me. There's a storm coming, buddy.
545 00:46:46 There's a storm coming.
546 00:46:50 One of the most famous trackers in history, Sakagawea was the woman...
547 00:46:53 ...who led Lewis and clark on their expedition to find the Pacific ocean.
548 00:46:57 You guys have heard the saying, "Actions speak louder than words."
549 00:47:00 And yet they wrote...
550 00:47:03 -Yes, Mr. Daley? -Yes. Was she deaf?
551 00:47:07 Was she deaf? No. She was not. But she...
552 00:47:10 Yeah, because... Just... She does seem a little bit sort of unresponsive.
553 00:47:16 That's because she's a statue.
554 00:47:20 Kids, could you give me one sec? Go check her out. She's really cool.
555 00:47:26 -What are you doing? -I'm gonna be here every night.
556 00:47:28 I wanted to learn a little bit more about what I'm guarding.
557 00:47:31 Actually, I've got a bunch of questions.
558 00:47:34 Maybe when you have a break, could I buy you a cup of coffee?
559 00:47:36 A cup of coffee?
560 00:47:38 Yeah, I mean, just purely a, you know...
561 00:47:42 ...colleague-to-colleague, information-download sort of coffee.
562 00:47:46 I finish in 20 minutes. I'll meet you outside.
563 00:47:48 -Thank you. -You're welcome.
564 00:47:50 -And have a good rest of your... -All right. Okay, kids.
565 00:47:54 It was incredible what she did.
566 00:47:55 She literally led these men across rivers, up mountains...
567 00:47:59 ...all with her newborn baby on her back.
568 00:48:01 She was the ultimate working mother.
569 00:48:03 Wow, you are quite the Sakagawean expert.
570 00:48:05 -Sakagawean. -Sakagawean?
571 00:48:08 Yeah. I should be, I've been writing my dissertation on her for four years.
572 00:48:12 You've been working on one paper for four years? That would drive me crazy.
573 00:48:16 Actually, it's more like a 900-page book.
574 00:48:20 So, what's your story? Have you always wanted to be a security guard?
575 00:48:25 -Oh, I didn't mean to... -No, no, no.
576 00:48:29 No, I'm divorced and I have a 10-year-old son...
577 00:48:33 ...so I needed to find a more steady situation.
578 00:48:37 Got it. So, what can I tell you about the museum?
579 00:48:40 Okay, Attila the Hun. What is that guy's problem?
580 00:48:43 Attila was considered the only genuine threat to the Roman Empire.
581 00:48:47 "Known as the 'Scourge of God'...
582 00:48:50 ...Attila and his Huns would often
583 00:48:52 tear off the limbs of their helpless victims.
584 00:48:56 Attila was famous for his superstitious beliefs.
585 00:48:59 He surrounded himself with a phalanx of sorcerers and magicians...
586 00:49:03 ...who advised and mystified him with their dark arts."
587 00:49:59 Larry?
588 00:50:01 Just wanted to say good luck, son.
589 00:50:03 And goodbye. We're clocking out for the last time.
590 00:50:05 If you're ever in Boca, look us up.
591 00:50:07 Wait, you guys are going out of town? What if this doesn't work out?
592 00:50:11 Smart fellow like you? You'll be fine.
593 00:50:13 Yeah. We'll just be a phone call away. Come on, walk us out.
594 00:50:18 You fellas go ahead.
595 00:50:22 I need a moment.
596 00:50:24 He's very emotional. A lot of memories in this room.
597 00:51:25 Go crazy, big guy.
598 00:51:32 Hey, guys.
599 00:51:34 Quest for fire...
600 00:51:36 ...over. Knock yourselves out.
601 00:51:41 Morning, dum-dum.
602 00:51:43 Me no dum-dum. You dum-dum. You bring me gum-gum?
603 00:51:47 Yes, I did, fathead. Lots and lots of gum-gum.
604 00:52:11 What's that? I can't hear you through the glass.
605 00:52:18 Sorry.
606 00:52:20 Heave.
607 00:52:22 Heave. Heave.
608 00:52:25 Hey, what's going on over here?
609 00:52:28 We expand or we die.
610 00:52:30 Heave.
611 00:52:33 -Heave. -On the count of three...
612 00:52:35 ...you blow this anthill to kingdom come.
613 00:52:39 -And a one and a two... -Hey, Jed. Stop that.
614 00:52:42 No, no. You blow a hole in your mountain, all you're gonna hit is a wall.
615 00:52:46 Step aside, Gigantor.
616 00:52:48 We got us a railroad to build. We're blowing a hole in that thing.
617 00:52:51 Okay, first of all, enough with the Gigantor giant stuff, okay?
618 00:52:54 -I'm just trying to close up shop. -We're gonna blow it anyway. And a three!
619 00:52:59 Yeah. What are you doing?
620 00:53:03 What's it look like we're doing? It's manifest destiny.
621 00:53:07 You can't fight it and neither can I. Go! More dynamite.
622 00:53:11 -Yeah, use it all. -All right. Okay.
623 00:53:13 Listen, "octavus"? You gotta stop that.
624 00:53:16 It's octavius, mary.
625 00:53:18 Okay, you know what? Fine. Great. Here you go. This is what happens.
626 00:53:22 -You cannot do this. I am a Roman general. -Sorry.
627 00:53:24 -I have rights. -And you.
628 00:53:26 -Hey, no! Put me down! -Keep heaving, men.
629 00:53:28 You can't stop progress!
630 00:53:30 We're gonna have a little talk, okay?
631 00:53:33 I told you, I don't like to be manhandled.
632 00:53:35 No, I will manhandle you, Jedediah. Now, listen, guys.
633 00:53:39 What is your problem, huh? Why can't you just get along?
634 00:53:42 Look, we're men. We fight, okay? That's what we do.
635 00:53:45 It's kind of how we pass the time.
636 00:53:46 You're, like, a giant. A freak, if you will.
637 00:53:49 We can't expect you to understand that.
638 00:53:51 You got the whole room to run around in. You don't have to be near each other.
639 00:53:55 -What, you mean...? -You're gonna let us out?
640 00:53:59 What, and just roam free?
641 00:54:02 Yeah. Yeah, I might, if you promise to behave.
642 00:54:05 That means no fireballs, no explosions, okay?
643 00:54:09 You have my word, my liege.
644 00:54:10 Yeah, no problemo, Gigantor.
645 00:54:13 My name's Larry, first of all. Okay, Jed?
646 00:54:17 So I call you Jed. I don't call you Tiny, right?
647 00:54:20 What's that supposed to mean?
648 00:54:21 "Hey, Teeny." How does that sound?
649 00:54:24 I don't like it. It hurts my feelings.
650 00:54:27 "Gigantor" makes me feel like some sort of freak, so...
651 00:54:30 I don't. I just call you Larry.
652 00:54:33 Don't be a kiss-ass, okay?
653 00:54:35 Look, I'm trusting you guys, all right?
654 00:54:37 If you don't do what I say, you can end up like the Mayan world there.
655 00:54:41 Locked up. Take a look.
656 00:54:43 -Do they look happy? -No.
657 00:54:47 They look sad.
658 00:54:49 They can't do what they wanna do. Now, I'm letting you guys...
659 00:54:52 ...have a little bit of leash here. Don't choke me with it, okay?
660 00:54:55 I gotta run. You guys play nice, okay? Okay. Good. Thanks.
661 00:55:01 Hey, how's that gum treating you, dum-dum?
662 00:55:04 Good.
663 00:55:08 Oh, hey, Dexter. I'm just locking up. You want in?
664 00:55:13 Yeah?
665 00:55:16 All right.
666 00:55:24 What's that? You got my keys?
667 00:55:28 I don't think so.
668 00:55:32 Looks like Uncle Larry pulled a fast one on little Dexie.
669 00:55:36 Those are baby keys for a little baby.
670 00:55:38 Have fun with your baby keys, little baby monkey.
671 00:55:41 Tomorrow I'll bring you a little baby diapy so you can go poo-poo in it.
672 00:55:44 I'll give you a tickle because you're a cute baby.
673 00:55:47 While you cry all night long about how Uncle Larry fooled you, huh?
674 00:55:52 I told you there was a storm coming.
675 00:56:02 -Hey, Teddy. -Lawrence.
676 00:56:04 You impertinent pup. I knew you'd come back.
677 00:56:07 -You look like a man on a mission. -Yeah, I'm gonna give it another shot.
678 00:56:18 -You...? -What?
679 00:56:21 -You checking her out? -The nerve.
680 00:56:25 Checking her out. I've never heard of such a thing.
681 00:56:28 No, no, no. I'm just... I mean because, you know, she's very beautiful.
682 00:56:32 -Beautiful? -Yeah.
683 00:56:38 -Rather handsome woman, I suppose. -Yeah.
684 00:56:41 I don't know, maybe you should go talk to her.
685 00:56:44 -Indeed. Bless you, lad. -Yeah. All right.
686 00:56:46 -Carry on. -Good. See you.
687 00:57:06 I...
688 00:57:56 Hey, hi.
689 00:57:58 No! It's okay! It's okay. You guys speak English?
690 00:58:02 No?
691 00:58:06 Right. I don't know what that means...
692 00:58:08 ...and I know that you and I got off on the wrong foot last night, but...
693 00:58:14 ...a little birdie told me that somebody likes...
694 00:58:20 ...magic.
695 00:58:21 -Magic? -Magic.
696 00:58:25 Sorcery.
697 00:58:27 Ah, sorcer...
698 00:58:28 Yes. Illusion.
699 00:58:31 Everybody likes magic.
700 00:58:33 And flowers. People like flowers.
701 00:58:37 There you go. Those are for you.
702 00:58:39 You know what else people like? Money.
703 00:58:41 The almighty dollar, right? But money can sometimes...
704 00:58:47 ...disappear.
705 00:58:51 At least that's what I...
706 00:58:54 ...hear.
707 00:58:56 No wonder you can't understand me. You got a coin in your ear.
708 00:59:04 Check this out. Anybody need a hanky?
709 00:59:07 Well, I wouldn't suggest this little feller because he has a nasty habit...
710 00:59:12 ...of vanishing...
711 00:59:16 ...into thin air!
712 00:59:19 No, no. Don't. That defeats the... Don't!
713 00:59:39 Not the limbs. Guys, please, do not tear the limbs.
714 01:00:00 Cortes, right?
715 01:00:18 How?
716 01:00:21 You! Don't even think about it. Don't you...
717 01:00:25 Dexter!
718 01:00:37 Come on, guys!
719 01:01:04 Hey, guys!
720 01:01:10 Hey, guys. Hey, guys!
721 01:01:14 Sorry. What's going on? What happened here?
722 01:01:16 I thought we had a deal.
723 01:01:18 We will never coexist with these buffoons.
724 01:01:20 We're past words, Laredo.
725 01:01:22 Now it's time to let Smith & wesson do the talking!
726 01:01:26 Those guns don't even work.
727 01:01:27 They don't? Take a look at this.
728 01:01:33 Dexter!
729 01:02:23 Why?
730 01:02:31 Ho! Dexter.
731 01:02:41 End of the line, cool breeze.
732 01:02:45 End of the line.
733 01:03:04 I am not playing games here.
734 01:03:10 Just hand them over.
735 01:03:17 Easy. That's it, Dexter.
736 01:03:20 Nice and easy, Dex. That's it.
737 01:03:44 Good Lord, Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?
738 01:03:47 Teddy, this guy's been pushing me, and I'm sick of it!
739 01:03:51 Poppycock. This little creature is your primate brother.
740 01:03:54 Without him, there's no us.
741 01:03:56 Are you rabid?
742 01:03:58 Wipe that off.
743 01:04:00 You have to deal with this creature with love and respect.
744 01:04:03 May I have the keys, dear friend?
745 01:04:06 Thank you. Lawrence?
746 01:04:11 Well, you know what?
747 01:04:12 You seem to know what you're doing, so I'm gonna let you take over.
748 01:04:15 No, no. My dear boy, you can't put up the white flag now.
749 01:04:19 The museum is on the verge of total anarchy.
750 01:04:21 I tried! I came back tonight, didn't I?
751 01:04:23 Tried? That was one night. I didn't build the Panama canal in one day.
752 01:04:26 That's great, but I'm dealing with the most ridiculous job in history.
753 01:04:30 Some men are born great, Lawrence...
754 01:04:31 Yeah, I know. Others have greatness thrust upon them.
755 01:04:34 You hit me with that chestnut last night.
756 01:04:36 The thing is, not everyone is great.
757 01:04:39 That's the problem. Some of us are just ordinary.
758 01:04:41 No, you're not, Lawrence. Stop wallowing in self-pity.
759 01:04:44 Every journey begins with a footstep.
760 01:04:46 Teach the inhabitants to get along, they wouldn't need to be locked up.
761 01:04:50 That means a lot coming from a guy who's spent the last 50 years...
762 01:04:53 ...spying on a girl he's never even talked to.
763 01:04:56 I was going to make contact. Lawrence, please.
764 01:05:00 I'm done, all right?
765 01:05:06 No, Rexy! No!
766 01:05:41 Oh, no.
767 01:06:46 All right.
768 01:06:57 No one comes here anymore. Besides,
769 01:06:59 I took this tour in second grade, Daley.
770 01:07:01 I'm telling you, my dad's gonna hook us up.
771 01:07:04 -Mr. Daley? -Yeah?
772 01:07:08 -Foam. -Yes, I know.
773 01:07:10 In the Neanderthal display.
774 01:07:11 There was an incident last night with the fire extinguisher.
775 01:07:14 I was on my way to go clean it up.
776 01:07:16 Okay, don't bother. You're fired.
777 01:07:20 I don't think we're getting a tour today.
778 01:07:23 Your dad just got canned, dude.
779 01:07:26 Excuse me?
780 01:07:29 Mr. McPhee?
781 01:07:31 Excuse me, Mr. McPhee?
782 01:07:33 Can I talk to you about this, please?
783 01:07:35 -Sir? -What?
784 01:07:36 I know I screwed up, but I finally understand how to do this job.
785 01:07:40 -You obviously don't. -No, I didn't, but now I do.
786 01:07:43 -Really, Mr. McPhee... -Doctor.
787 01:07:46 Dr. McPhee.
788 01:07:49 Can you please give me one more night?
789 01:07:54 -One more night. -Okay, thank you.
790 01:07:56 And if anything is the tiniest...
791 01:08:01 ...after your shift:
792 01:08:04 Because...
793 01:08:09 -Got it. -Okay?
794 01:08:11 Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...
795 01:08:20 Shame on me. Fool me... Shame on me.
796 01:08:23 -You. -Fool me twice... Got it.
797 01:08:26 -Take it or leave it. -Okay. Thank you.
798 01:08:33 -Hey. -Hey.
799 01:08:34 -What's wrong? -Maybe you should ask Nicky.
800 01:08:40 Hey, buddy. What's going on?
801 01:08:43 You got fired.
802 01:08:45 What are you talking about? I didn't get fired.
803 01:08:49 I came to the museum this morning. I saw your boss yelling at you.
804 01:08:54 Why didn't you tell me? Everything's fine.
805 01:08:57 We just had a little misunderstanding.
806 01:08:59 Why?
807 01:09:02 It's hard to explain. I mean, you wouldn't bel...
808 01:09:06 You know what? Let me show you.
809 01:09:09 -Show me what? -Come to work with me tonight.
810 01:09:12 Larry?
811 01:09:13 Can I talk to you for a second?
812 01:09:19 Am I in trouble?
813 01:09:21 Larry, what are you doing?
814 01:09:22 I just wanna show him what I do. That's all.
815 01:09:25 I love that you wanna share that with him, but I gotta tell you...
816 01:09:28 ...I don't think Nicky has any room in his heart for more disappointment.
817 01:09:33 He won't be disappointed.
818 01:09:35 Larry.
819 01:09:37 He won't be disappointed.
820 01:09:45 Listen, hang out in the security office till everyone's gone.
821 01:09:48 Then I'm gonna come get you. All right?
822 01:10:10 Hey, miss? I'm gonna have to ask you to vacate the premises.
823 01:10:13 -Hey there. -Hey.
824 01:10:16 -Good place to think, huh? -Yeah. Definitely.
825 01:10:21 So no big plans tonight?
826 01:10:23 Yeah, no, I'm not really a big-plan person.
827 01:10:27 I prefer hanging out with people who are dead for 200 years.
828 01:10:30 It's the live ones that throw me.
829 01:10:31 That's cool. Seriously though, you do have to leave.
830 01:10:36 -Seriously? -Yeah, sorry. It's museum rules.
831 01:10:38 We're sort of locking everything up.
832 01:10:40 You're really taking your job seriously.
833 01:10:44 You know, once I clip on the tie, I'm all business.
834 01:10:47 -I get it. -Yeah.
835 01:10:49 How's that dissertation coming?
836 01:10:52 I've hit a dead end. I mean, research can only get me so far.
837 01:10:55 I'm never gonna know who she really was.
838 01:10:58 So I think it's time that I move on to another subject.
839 01:11:03 I'll let you get back to work.
840 01:11:06 -Good night, Larry. -Yeah, okay.
841 01:11:10 Night.
842 01:11:19 Hey.
843 01:11:22 Rebecca!
844 01:11:26 -Hey, Rebecca. -Hey.
845 01:11:28 Hey. Listen, I don't think you should give up on your paper.
846 01:11:32 Okay. Why?
847 01:11:34 All right, look, this is gonna sound crazy, all right?
848 01:11:37 I mean, it's gonna sound, like, really, really crazy.
849 01:11:39 -Okay. -No, I mean insanely crazy.
850 01:11:42 -I can handle it. -Okay.
851 01:11:45 You know how they say in certain museums, history comes alive?
852 01:11:49 -Yeah. -In this museum...
853 01:11:53 ...it actually does.
854 01:11:56 What are you talking about?
855 01:12:02 Everything in this museum comes to life at night.
856 01:12:10 -Really? -Yeah, really. I'm not kidding you.
857 01:12:13 You know that tablet? The Tablet of Ahkmenrah?
858 01:12:16 It actually brings things to life. It's like some ancient spell.
859 01:12:19 Since the '50s, every night everything's been coming to life.
860 01:12:22 Teddy Roosevelt told me. Seriously.
861 01:12:25 The monkey, Dexter? The cute little...
862 01:12:27 -what is he? -Capuchin.
863 01:12:29 A capuchin. Right. The capuchin. He urinated on me and bit my nose.
864 01:12:33 And Sakagawea is in her case, alive every night...
865 01:12:37 ...just listening to Lewis and clark argue.
866 01:12:39 So if you really wanna get inside her head...
867 01:12:43 ...I can hook that up.
868 01:12:47 That's cool.
869 01:12:48 Yeah, it's cool. It's freaking awesome.
870 01:12:54 Make fun of the history geek.
871 01:12:57 -No. Rebecca! -Good night, Larry.
872 01:13:02 No, I'm not making fun of you. Rebecca.
873 01:13:16 -Here you go. Best seat in the house. -What's going on?
874 01:13:19 If I told you, you'd think I'm crazy. I'm gonna show you.
875 01:13:21 -What? -You'll see in about 20 seconds.
876 01:13:25 -Okay, you like Tyrannosaurus Rex? -Yeah.
877 01:13:27 Yeah? Well, I call him Rexy.
878 01:13:30 And he's about to come to life, Nicholas, in...
879 01:13:37 ...five, four, three, two...
880 01:13:49 -Dad? -Hang on a sec.
881 01:13:51 Say hello to Rexy!
882 01:13:56 Dad, are you okay?
883 01:13:59 This is weird.
884 01:14:01 Guys! Come on!
885 01:14:04 Sundown!
886 01:14:08 Hey, T.R., come on, rise and shine. Buddy, I need you to wake up.
887 01:14:11 Come on, my kid is here. I need you to wake up.
888 01:14:14 Texas? Texas! Come on! Texas! Come on! Get on, Texas!
889 01:14:17 Get on, Texas! Get up.
890 01:14:19 Just stop, okay?
891 01:14:21 No, Nicky, I'm telling you, there's this tablet, okay?
892 01:14:25 Called the Tablet of Ahkmenrah. Every night...
893 01:14:27 -Now there's a tablet? -Yeah, there is.
894 01:14:30 Come on, Dad.
895 01:14:33 Come on.
896 01:14:39 -It's gone. -What's gone?
897 01:14:41 The tablet. I think somebody stole it.
898 01:14:45 Yeah, right.
899 01:14:47 I'm not kidding, Nicky.
900 01:14:53 Nicky?
901 01:14:56 Hey, Nicky!
902 01:14:59 Hey! Hey, Nicky! Where are you going?
903 01:15:02 -Home. -What? Wait a minute.
904 01:15:10 Come on.
905 01:15:20 You guys shouldn't be here.
906 01:15:23 Give us the tablet, son.
907 01:15:24 Wait a minute, Nicky. What are you guys doing?
908 01:15:26 We're not gonna hurt you. Give us the tablet.
909 01:15:28 I'm sorry to tell you this, son, but your dad doesn't work here.
910 01:15:32 He got fired this morning. Couldn't hack it.
911 01:15:35 Dad? I thought you said you weren't fired.
912 01:15:38 I did. They're lying, trying to steal that thing.
913 01:15:40 Turn the middle piece, you'll see what I was talking about.
914 01:15:43 That is museum property, son. Give it back.
915 01:15:45 Nicky, trust me. Just turn it.
916 01:15:47 -Give us the tablet! -Nicky?
917 01:15:50 Trust me.
918 01:16:14 Nick? Run. Now.
919 01:16:17 Get back here, kid!
920 01:16:21 Bad idea, Larry.
921 01:16:23 You wanna dance, hot dog? You wanna dance?
922 01:16:26 Gus, you're an old man. I don't wanna hurt you.
923 01:16:31 You see, Larry, a few years into the job, the three of us realized that...
924 01:16:35 ...like everything else in this museum, we got new life at night.
925 01:16:39 Sundown to sunrise, we felt young again.
926 01:16:44 Okay. Did not see that coming.
927 01:16:46 Gave us an energy boost.
928 01:16:48 We love the nightlife, Larry.
929 01:16:50 So when we found out they were gonna fired us...
930 01:16:53 ...we had to steal the tablet.
931 01:16:54 Everyone knows you need the money.
932 01:16:56 Add the stuff we planted in your place...
933 01:16:59 ...pretty obvious you committed the crime.
934 01:17:01 Take care of that cut.
935 01:17:03 Come on, guys, let's go find that kid.
936 01:17:07 -Sweet dreams, cupcake! -No!
937 01:17:09 Pile driver!
938 01:17:11 Let's get our tablet.
939 01:17:39 Thank you very much. We'll take it from here.
940 01:17:42 Nicky!
941 01:17:45 Just in time, Larry. We were just locking up.
942 01:17:49 Sleep tight, hotshot.
943 01:17:53 Let's grab everything we can fence.
944 01:17:55 I don't know about you, but I'm planning on a long retirement.
945 01:18:08 Teddy! Teddy, if you're out there, I need you, pal!
946 01:18:14 Someone call my name?
947 01:18:17 Theodore Roosevelt, at your service.
948 01:18:19 Teddy, can you get us out of here?
949 01:18:21 Can't do it, man. This is your moment.
950 01:18:24 Will you save the lectures, please? I'm not you. Okay?
951 01:18:26 I didn't build the Panama canal, I wasn't president of the United States!
952 01:18:30 I need some help. Come on.
953 01:18:31 Actually...
954 01:18:35 ...I never did any of those things. Teddy Roosevelt did.
955 01:18:39 I was made in a mannequin factory in Poughkeepsie.
956 01:18:42 I never shot a wild beast.
957 01:18:44 I'm not even brave enough to tell that beautiful woman I love her.
958 01:18:48 But you...
959 01:18:50 ...you gotta finish the job this time. You can't quit.
960 01:18:57 I'm made of wax, Larry.
961 01:18:59 What are you made of?
962 01:19:05 -Wait! That's all you got for me? -That's it!
963 01:19:21 That's it. Come on.
964 01:19:23 Duck!
965 01:19:26 Go over there!
966 01:19:48 Hey. Hi. How you doing? Sorry to bother you...
967 01:19:52 ...but your guys there? Your jackal guys?
968 01:19:54 Do you think you could ask them to back off, please?
969 01:19:57 We're not trying to hurt you, they think we are.
970 01:19:59 Could you do it like now?
971 01:20:06 Thank you. Nicky.
972 01:20:09 Thank you.
973 01:20:18 Dad?
974 01:20:31 You would not believe how stuffy it is in there.
975 01:20:35 -How come you speak English? -I went to cambridge University.
976 01:20:39 You went to cambridge?
977 01:20:40 I was on display in the Egyptology Department.
978 01:20:44 I am Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth king...
979 01:20:46 ...ruler of the land of my fathers.
980 01:20:50 I am Larry...
981 01:20:53 ...son of Milton...
982 01:20:55 ...and this is my son, Nick.
983 01:20:59 And we hail from Brooklyn.
984 01:21:02 Well, I do. I mean, he comes out and stays with me on wednesdays...
985 01:21:05 ...and every other weekend.
986 01:21:07 That was the custody agreement that we had.
987 01:21:12 Larry, Nick, guardians of Brooklyn...
988 01:21:16 ...I am forever in your debt.
989 01:21:18 Now bestow the tablet upon me...
990 01:21:20 ...so that I may assume command of my kingdom.
991 01:21:24 Oh, yes. Okay, the tablet. I would...
992 01:21:27 ...love to bestow it upon you, but we don't actually...
993 01:21:31 ...have it.
994 01:21:40 Thanks, guys. Don't worry. I'll watch out for him!
995 01:21:43 Thank you.
996 01:22:00 What is that?
997 01:22:03 Huns.
998 01:22:05 I gotta deal with this guy.
999 01:22:44 Pardon me, Larry. I speak Hun.
1000 01:22:54 He says that he wants to rip you apart.
1001 01:22:56 All right. Again with the ripping. Listen, I understand.
1002 01:22:59 I get it. Ripping for you... You want to rip things, okay?
1003 01:23:02 And I think maybe that's because somebody ripped you a long time ago.
1004 01:23:07 In here.
1005 01:23:09 Somebody ripped little...
1006 01:23:11 ...baby Attila a long time ago, right here.
1007 01:23:16 They ripped something out, didn't they?
1008 01:23:21 They ripped the love.
1009 01:23:23 They ripped the love right out of you, didn't they?
1010 01:23:26 A little baby all alone in a tent...
1011 01:23:31 ...whose daddy went off...
1012 01:23:34 ...to pillage some town...
1013 01:23:37 ...or go and plunder somewhere, just doing his job.
1014 01:23:40 But who was left alone?
1015 01:23:45 You.
1016 01:23:52 Let it out. Let it go. Let it go.
1017 01:24:17 It's okay. It's okay.
1018 01:24:22 You're next.
1019 01:24:28 Good. That's good. Just breathe.
1020 01:24:35 -Larry Daley. -Yeah.
1021 01:24:40 Good. Yes.
1022 01:24:42 Yeah. Okay. Good, good.
1023 01:24:46 All right! I need everybody to listen up!
1024 01:24:53 Guys! Come on!
1025 01:24:58 Quiet!
1026 01:25:14 My dum-dum want to speak.
1027 01:25:16 Thank you.
1028 01:25:18 Now, this here's King Ahkmenrah.
1029 01:25:21 His tablet is what brings you to life every night.
1030 01:25:24 And those old night watchmen? They stole it.
1031 01:25:27 Now, we need to find those guards and get the tablet back...
1032 01:25:30 ...and we need to do it before morning.
1033 01:25:32 Civil war guys, head over to the Planetarium wing.
1034 01:25:37 My explorer friend whose name escapes me.
1035 01:25:40 -It's columbus. -Right, columbus! Right, I'm sorry.
1036 01:25:44 There's no nameplate, so... columbus, take the Neanderthals...
1037 01:25:47 ...and do a sweep from Invertebrates all the way through Reptiles.
1038 01:25:50 Jed and octavius, their van's parked out back.
1039 01:25:53 Go take care of it.
1040 01:25:53 Whoa, whoa, whoa, no! No, sir. I ain't working with toga boy.
1041 01:25:56 Romans work alone.
1042 01:25:59 -That didn't hurt. Don't be a baby. -Yes, it did.
1043 01:26:01 Come on.
1044 01:26:03 That was much harder!
1045 01:26:05 Guys, come on!
1046 01:26:07 Jed, octavius.
1047 01:26:09 Take away the fact you were born 2000 years apart...
1048 01:26:12 ...you guys aren't that different.
1049 01:26:14 You're both great leaders.
1050 01:26:16 You just want what's best for your people, right?
1051 01:26:19 -Yeah. -Yeah.
1052 01:26:20 Civil war dudes.
1053 01:26:24 You guys are brothers, for God's sakes. You gotta stop fighting.
1054 01:26:29 North wins. Slavery's bad. Sorry.
1055 01:26:33 Don't wanna burst your bubble.
1056 01:26:36 But, South, you guys get Allman Brothers...
1057 01:26:40 ...and NAScAR, so just chill!
1058 01:26:44 Look, without that tablet, all of this...
1059 01:26:48 ...this whole coming-to-life-at-night thing, it all goes away.
1060 01:26:52 Now, I don't wanna let that happen, but I need your help.
1061 01:26:55 We can get this done, but we gotta do it together.
1062 01:26:59 So who's with me?
1063 01:27:01 Yeah.
1064 01:27:03 -Who's with me? -Yeah!
1065 01:27:05 -Yeah! -Charge!
1066 01:27:09 All right! Now, let's do this, people!
1067 01:27:14 And animals!
1068 01:27:18 And weird, faceless puppet creatures. Come on, let's go! Let's do it!
1069 01:27:44 Come on! Follow me, boys!
1070 01:27:46 Geronimo!
1071 01:28:00 Oh, jeez.
1072 01:28:16 Now, boys, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.
1073 01:28:25 I guess it's gonna be the hard way.
1074 01:28:31 Right, men, we're almost there.
1075 01:28:56 Save yourself!
1076 01:28:58 I ain't quitting you!
1077 01:29:02 Gus?
1078 01:29:06 Reginald?
1079 01:29:07 Fellas, where are you?
1080 01:29:10 Guys?
1081 01:29:23 That's what I'm talking about. Good job, gentlemen.
1082 01:29:26 Loving the teamwork!
1083 01:29:48 They've vanished. How will we find them?
1084 01:29:52 I know someone who can help. Come on.
1085 01:29:55 Watch out!
1086 01:30:04 Hey, Sakagawea, or wea. Listen, I need a favor. Somebody stole his tablet.
1087 01:30:08 You think you can track the guys who took it?
1088 01:30:11 He went east but he lost control and crashed.
1089 01:30:16 You're amazing. How can you tell that?
1090 01:30:23 He left the wagon...
1091 01:30:25 ...and went back.
1092 01:30:27 He went back?
1093 01:30:30 Why would he go back?
1094 01:30:35 Get out of the way!
1095 01:30:44 You saved me.
1096 01:30:46 You're worth saving, my dear.
1097 01:30:51 -That's problematic. -Teddy. Oh, man.
1098 01:30:53 Larry, relax. I'm wax.
1099 01:30:56 You gotta do something. Dawn's approaching.
1100 01:30:58 -Half the museum's running amuck outside. -He's got my tablet.
1101 01:31:04 Come on, ockie!
1102 01:31:12 At your service, Gigantor!
1103 01:31:14 How can we be of assistance, my liege?
1104 01:31:16 Just give me a second, guys.
1105 01:31:23 Rexy?
1106 01:31:26 Here, boy.
1107 01:31:27 Teddy, I need a horse.
1108 01:31:30 Do it, man.
1109 01:31:46 -Come on, boy! Let me hear you yell! -Yeah!
1110 01:31:50 Just living the dream, baby!
1111 01:31:52 I'm loving this!
1112 01:31:57 Pull the stagecoach over now!
1113 01:32:02 Can I make this turn up here?
1114 01:32:06 I'll take that as a yes. Hang on!
1115 01:32:16 I can't hold it!
1116 01:32:31 Come on, Tex, let's finish this.
1117 01:32:34 Come on!
1118 01:32:40 Give me the tablet, cecil!
1119 01:32:42 Can't do it, son.
1120 01:32:47 Pull over!
1121 01:32:49 It ain't gonna happen. Moving on.
1122 01:32:53 Last chance, cecil. Stop the horses or I will!
1123 01:32:56 They can't be stopped, Larry.
1124 01:32:58 Don't you know your history?
1125 01:33:00 These are money carriers.
1126 01:33:02 They were trained not to stop for anything but a secret word.
1127 01:33:05 Really? You mean a word like...
1128 01:33:08 ..."Dakota"?
1129 01:33:14 Come on, Tex.
1130 01:33:20 I read up on my history. Thanks for the tip.
1131 01:33:23 Oh, and by the way...
1132 01:33:24 ...don't ever talk to me like that in front of my son.
1133 01:33:29 Moving on.
1134 01:33:35 -Hey, Huns. -Tell Attila to have his boys...
1135 01:33:37 ...take him back. Put him with the guards.
1136 01:33:42 Oh, and no limb ripping, okay?
1137 01:33:59 Hey, boy. Wait, wait, hold the phone.
1138 01:34:00 What's makeekaka mean? Wait. Translation, please.
1139 01:34:06 The year was 1909. I was going up the Zambezi River in Africa.
1140 01:34:10 And our river guide was a brilliant Pygmy who spoke only by clicking.
1141 01:34:21 There we are.
1142 01:34:27 -Oh, boy. -What is it?
1143 01:34:29 I gotta get you guys back to the museum.
1144 01:34:32 How?
1145 01:34:36 Ahkmenrah, I'm gonna need your help.
1146 01:34:39 This is your tablet. You know the instructions. You get everyone back.
1147 01:35:10 Come on. There's somebody who's gotta see this.
1148 01:35:16 What I'm saying is, for the type of money that they pay A-Rod...
1149 01:35:19 ...he ought to be bringing home a world Series trophy every season.
1150 01:35:23 You know what I mean?
1151 01:35:43 Now, who they gonna get to clean up all that doo-doo?
1152 01:35:46 -Inuit. -Yeah.
1153 01:35:47 One terracotta soldier.
1154 01:35:49 -Vikings. -Right.
1155 01:35:50 -Alpaca. -Welcome back, ladies.
1156 01:35:53 -Llama. -Hey.
1157 01:35:54 Viking guys.
1158 01:35:56 Do me a favor. Your fellows made some funeral pyre...
1159 01:35:58 ...in Petrified wood. Go clean that up.
1160 01:36:01 Okay? Thank you.
1161 01:36:04 -He's back. -All right, I'll deal with this joker.
1162 01:36:06 Hey, hey, Moose. It's not gonna happen, buddy. All right?
1163 01:36:10 I told you, you can't come through with those antlers.
1164 01:36:12 So you and your caribou buddy gotta go around to the loading dock.
1165 01:36:16 -Lawrence! -Hey, Teddy.
1166 01:36:19 Great to see you in one piece.
1167 01:36:21 Sakagawea, a little hot wax, and I'm a new man.
1168 01:36:23 Larry?
1169 01:36:29 I told you I wasn't making fun of you.
1170 01:36:32 -I know. -Teddy?
1171 01:36:36 Oh, my God.
1172 01:36:40 Wanna meet her?
1173 01:36:44 -Yeah? -Yeah.
1174 01:36:45 Okay, come on.
1175 01:36:46 Excuse me. President Roosevelt, this is my friend Rebecca.
1176 01:36:50 -An honor. -Hi.
1177 01:36:52 And this is Sakagawea.
1178 01:36:54 -Wea. -Wea.
1179 01:36:55 Wea.
1180 01:36:57 I think she has a few questions she wants to ask you.
1181 01:37:01 You rock. I am a big fan.
1182 01:37:05 What would you like to know?
1183 01:37:07 Well, I mean, I don't know where to start, but...
1184 01:37:22 -one Buddha. -Check.
1185 01:37:26 Two zebras.
1186 01:37:29 -Right. Check. -Dexter! Welcome back.
1187 01:37:32 Hey, Dex, so look. No hard feelings, all right?
1188 01:37:37 -Lawrence! -You saw!
1189 01:37:38 -You saw what he did just then! -Who's evolved?
1190 01:37:41 -I am. -Who's evolved?
1191 01:37:43 I am!
1192 01:37:45 Good.
1193 01:37:47 Well, they're all here.
1194 01:37:49 Well done. Everyone's in.
1195 01:37:51 Yeah, well...
1196 01:37:52 ...not everyone.
1197 01:37:55 We lost a couple of good, little men out there tonight.
1198 01:37:59 With great victory comes great sacrifice.
1199 01:38:04 Yeah.
1200 01:38:08 Dad, look.
1201 01:38:16 Bully!
1202 01:38:39 You ain't getting rid of us that easy.
1203 01:39:01 Until tomorrow evening, Lawrence?
1204 01:39:04 Yeah. I don't know about that, Teddy.
1205 01:39:07 It's gonna be tough to talk my way out of this one.
1206 01:39:09 Well, if that's indeed the case...
1207 01:39:11 ...then it's farewell, my friend.
1208 01:39:15 Nick?
1209 01:39:18 Your father's a great man.
1210 01:39:21 I know.
1211 01:39:28 Told you.
1212 01:39:33 All right. Good night.
1213 01:39:35 No, Lawrence. Good day.
1214 01:39:43 Hey, Teddy?
1215 01:39:58 Thanks.
1216 01:40:14 You're watching New York 1. News all morning.
1217 01:40:18 Thanks for joining us. There is a fresh blanket of snow.
1218 01:40:21 But it's not the snow that's got New Yorkers talking.
1219 01:40:23 It's what's in the snow.
1220 01:40:26 There are dinosaur tracks along West 81 st Street.
1221 01:40:28 Here's the remarkable video. These appear to be Tyrannosaurus Rex tracks...
1222 01:40:32 ...and they lead straight to the Museum of Natural History.
1223 01:40:35 Authorities have found what appear to be cave drawings in the subway.
1224 01:40:40 Neanderthals atop the museum roof.
1225 01:40:41 Elaborate hoax or publicity stunt?
1226 01:40:44 You be the judge, but one thing's for sure:
1227 01:40:46 The folks at the Natural History Museum have really outdone them...
1228 01:40:53 Any explanation at all?
1229 01:40:59 No. Got nothing.
1230 01:41:01 Good.
1231 01:41:02 I'll take your keys and your flashlight.
1232 01:41:23 Folks, this way.
1233 01:42:23 My name is Nick Daley. My career Day parent is my dad.
1234 01:42:27 He's the night watchman at the Museum of Natural History.
1235 01:42:35 Hey, how's it going? Well, Nicky said it:
1236 01:42:37 I'm the night watchman at the Museum of Natural History.
1237 01:42:40 Let me tell you something: That's when history comes alive.
1238 01:42:45 How many of you guys have been over to the museum?
1239 01:43:09 Goal!
1240 01:43:39 Hey, it's getting late. Are you ready to go home?
1241 01:43:42 Nope.
1242 01:43:49 Let's ride.