黑衣人 Men in Black(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:02:59 Goddamn bugs.
2 00:03:20 Oh, shit!
3 00:03:27 Oh, crap.
4 00:03:41 Well, Nick the Dick. What a surprise.
5 00:03:43 Where you coming from,Nick?
6 00:03:45 Fishing in Cuernavaca.
7 00:03:48 Sure. Let's take a look at your catch.
8 00:03:51 Come on.
9 00:04:00 I would've thrown them back.
10 00:04:08 What do you get? 100 bucks a head? 200?
11 00:04:11 Hope you saved it all for your lawyer. You'll need it.
12 00:04:20 We'll take it from here.
13 00:04:21 Who the hell are you?
14 00:04:23 INS, Division 6.
15 00:04:24 Division 6? I never heard of Division 6.
16 00:04:27 Really?
17 00:04:29 Who you betting on?
18 00:04:31 Tough call, Kay.
19 00:05:09 We've got a winner here.
20 00:05:10 Oh, I know.
21 00:05:19 Sir, you can't...
22 00:05:20 Don't "sir" me, young man.
23 00:05:22 You have no idea who you're dealing with.
24 00:05:30 We'll chat with our friend. You hit the road.
25 00:05:34 Keep on protecting us from the dangerous aliens.
26 00:05:42 You ever hear of Division 6?
27 00:05:44 There is no Division 6.
28 00:05:46 This is bullshit.
29 00:05:48 Hell, yeah.
30 00:05:50 Looks like you fell off the bus in the wrong part of town.
31 00:05:54 I'll bet you're not from anywhere near here.
32 00:06:01 Mikey?
33 00:06:09 Mikey, when they let you out of jail?
34 00:06:13 Political refugee.
35 00:06:14 You know how many treaties you just violated?
36 00:06:18 - One? - Try seven.
37 00:06:23 You hand me that head.
38 00:06:30 Put up your arms and flippers.
39 00:06:43 Shit!
40 00:06:49 Shoot him!
41 00:07:21 - "That." - That...
42 00:07:25 Was not human. I know. You got some entrails on you.
43 00:07:30 What the hell?
44 00:07:31 The situation's under control.
45 00:07:33 Give me your attention for a moment.
46 00:07:35 I'll tell you what happened.
47 00:07:46 This is called a neuralizer. It's a gift from friends from out of town.
48 00:07:51 This red eye isolates...
49 00:07:53 ...the brain's impulses, specifically the ones for memory.
50 00:07:57 Give me a splay burn on the perimeter...
51 00:07:59 ...with holes at 40, 60, and 80 metres...
52 00:08:02 ...from right here. Thank you.
53 00:08:09 That's good.
54 00:08:11 What's going on?
55 00:08:12 Excellent question.
56 00:08:14 The answer you're looking for lies right here.
57 00:08:20 Who are you, really?
58 00:08:22 Really?
59 00:08:24 I am just a figment of your imagination.
60 00:08:31 Damn, what a gullible breed.
61 00:08:34 I'm serious. You're lucky to be alive after that blast.
62 00:08:38 What blast?
63 00:08:39 The underground gas main.
64 00:08:41 You should exercise caution before firing...
65 00:08:43 ...l'll tell you that now. Especially you.
66 00:08:47 Have yourself checked out with EMS before you leave.
67 00:09:03 I'm sorry about back there.
68 00:09:05 It happens.
69 00:09:07 Didn't used to.
70 00:09:10 The spirit's willing, Kay...
71 00:09:14 ...but the rest of me...
72 00:09:18 They're beautiful, aren't they?
73 00:09:21 The stars.
74 00:09:24 We never just look anymore.
75 00:09:29 No
76 00:09:32 I'll tell you, Kay...
77 00:09:34 ...I will miss the chase.
78 00:09:42 No, Dee...
79 00:09:44 ...you won't.
80 00:09:47 Freeze!
81 00:09:48 NYPD! Freeze!
82 00:09:52 All yours, Edwards.
83 00:09:55 Freeze means stop!
84 00:10:03 What the hell?!
85 00:10:13 It just be raining black people in New York.
86 00:10:42 Do you see this?
87 00:10:43 N-Y-P-D!
88 00:10:45 Means I will knock your punk-ass down!
89 00:10:48 He's coming!
90 00:10:50 Yeah, and when he gets here, I'll arrest his ass too.
91 00:10:57 You trying to catch a beat-down?
92 00:12:06 What's up?
93 00:12:09 He's coming.
94 00:12:11 He's coming because I failed. Now he'll kill me.
95 00:12:14 You pissing everybody off today, huh?
96 00:12:18 You don't understand.
97 00:12:20 Your world's gonna end.
98 00:12:25 What are you?
99 00:12:32 Watch that ledge. Watch the ledge.
100 00:12:35 Come on down. We'll get those eyes fixed, don't worry.
101 00:12:38 Wait a minute. Let me talk to you!
102 00:12:48 I work my butt off to make a living.
103 00:12:50 All I want is to come home to a fat steak on the table...
104 00:12:54 ...but instead I get this. It looks like poison.
105 00:12:57 Don't take that away! I'm eating that! It is poison, isn't it?
106 00:13:01 I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if it was...
107 00:13:04 ...the way you skulk like a dog been hit too much,
108 00:13:06 or not enough!
109 00:13:08 I can't decide.
110 00:13:09 You're useless, Beatrice.
111 00:13:11 The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my goddamn truck!
112 00:13:25 Figures.
113 00:13:36 What the heck is it?
114 00:13:39 Get your big butt back in the house.
115 00:13:53 Place projectile weapon on the ground.
116 00:13:57 You can have my gun...
117 00:13:59 ...when you pry it from my dead fingers.
118 00:14:01 Your proposal is acceptable.
119 00:14:46 Edgar, what on earth was that?
120 00:14:48 Sugar.
121 00:14:50 I've never seen sugar do that.
122 00:14:53 Give me sugar.
123 00:15:00 In water.
124 00:15:08 More.
125 00:15:12 More.
126 00:15:28 Your skin is hanging off your bones.
127 00:15:42 Is that better?
128 00:16:13 "The perpetrator blinked two sets of eyelids."
129 00:16:15 Blinked with both eyes?
130 00:16:17 He blinked one set, then a completely different set.
131 00:16:21 You know, like high beams and low beams.
132 00:16:24 Was that before or after he drew the weapon that you claim...
133 00:16:28 ...evaporated into a million pieces?
134 00:16:31 After, sir.
135 00:16:33 Why is it that no other officers saw either of these events?
136 00:16:37 Some of them are soggy around the midsection.
137 00:16:40 They weren't able to keep up.
138 00:16:42 If you were half the man I am...
139 00:16:44 I am half the man that you are.
140 00:16:47 What is your problem?
141 00:16:49 You're in my face.
142 00:16:50 - I think he threw him off the roof. - You next.
143 00:16:53 I wanna talk to you.
144 00:16:54 Ten minutes, you take your best shot, tough guy.
145 00:16:58 Take 10 minutes on a StairMaster, you pudgy bastard!
146 00:17:07 I believe you. Laurel Weaver. Deputy Medical Examiner.
147 00:17:09 Find me at the morgue. I'll show you.
148 00:17:12 Wait.
149 00:17:13 Wait a minute!
150 00:17:15 You're Dr. Weaver with the coroner's office working on the John Doe?
151 00:17:19 - That's right. - Will you look at this, please?
152 00:17:29 Some night, huh?
153 00:17:31 Some night.
154 00:17:32 They were gills, not eyelids.
155 00:17:35 Gills. He was out of breath.
156 00:17:38 Who are you?
157 00:17:39 Did he say anything to you?
158 00:17:41 He said the world was coming to an end.
159 00:17:44 Did he say when?
160 00:17:52 Would you recognize his weapon if you saw it again?
161 00:17:55 Absolutely.
162 00:17:58 Come on, let's take a ride.
163 00:18:00 Wait a minute. Look, I got tons of paperwork...
164 00:18:03 It's all done.
165 00:18:04 Good work.
166 00:18:05 You really ran this dude down on foot? That's tough.
167 00:18:08 That's double tough.
168 00:18:20 So who exactly are you with?
169 00:18:20 So who exactly are you with?
170 00:18:22 FBI? NSA?
171 00:18:25 I'm part of a bureau that licenses, monitors and polices aliens on Earth.
172 00:18:29 Yeah, whatever.
173 00:18:31 We're here.
174 00:18:34 This is where we're going?
175 00:18:37 This is Jack Jeebs' spot.
176 00:18:38 He buys from chain-snatchers. Doesn't sell guns.
177 00:18:41 Really?
178 00:18:42 All right, look.
179 00:18:44 I'm gonna go in and put my thing down, but when I come out, I want answers.
180 00:18:48 Okay, go put your thing down.
181 00:18:56 Officer Eduardo!
182 00:18:57 How did these get here? I thought I turned them in.
183 00:19:01 I hear you're into something hotter than stolen Rolexes.
184 00:19:04 I deal crack, but I still work here. I love the hours.
185 00:19:07 I'm talking about guns, smart-ass! Weird ones.
186 00:19:11 Come on! What you see is what I got.
187 00:19:16 Show him the imports, Jeebs.
188 00:19:19 Hey, Kay. How are you?
189 00:19:21 - Show him the imports. - I got out of that business.
190 00:19:24 Why do you lie to me?
191 00:19:26 Hold on a second.
192 00:19:27 I'll count to three.
193 00:19:29 He'll do it, Jeebs. That man does not look stable.
194 00:19:32 You know what? He's crazy when he's like this.
195 00:19:35 He's always crazy. Get a massage.
196 00:19:37 Take a cruise...
197 00:19:39 - Drop the weapon. - I warned him.
198 00:19:41 Drop the weapon!
199 00:19:42 - You warned him. - I'll kill you.
200 00:19:44 You insensitive jerk!
201 00:19:51 Do you have any idea how much that stings?
202 00:19:53 Show us the merchandise, or you'll lose another head.
203 00:20:09 Mr. Edwards...
204 00:20:15 There, the one in the middle.
205 00:20:20 You sold a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacity...
206 00:20:24 ...to an unlicensed cephalopoid! You piece of...
207 00:20:27 He looked okay to me.
208 00:20:28 It was for an assassination. The target?
209 00:20:30 I don't know.
210 00:20:32 - Goddamn it! - I don't know!
211 00:20:35 All that's confiscated.
212 00:20:37 Be on the next transport off this rock, or I shoot where it don't grow back.
213 00:20:45 And I'm gonna be back to talk about them Rolexes.
214 00:21:10 Searching for a handle on the moment?
215 00:21:14 I can't help you.
216 00:21:17 The only comfort I can offer...
217 00:21:19 ...is my promise that tomorrow you won't remember a thing.
218 00:21:22 That's not exactly some shit you forget.
219 00:21:25 Ever seen one of these?
220 00:21:30 She looks over to her husband...
221 00:21:33 ...then sets it down in her lap and says:
222 00:21:36 " Honey, this one's eating my popcorn."
223 00:21:43 Get it?
224 00:21:44 This one's eating...
225 00:21:48 Gotta go. Thanks for the egg rolls.
226 00:21:50 Wait a minute.
227 00:21:52 Who are you?
228 00:21:53 See what I mean about tequila? You're very bright.
229 00:21:56 But you need to lay off the sauce.
230 00:21:58 I'll see you bright and early, 9:00.
231 00:22:00 Be there...
232 00:22:02 ...or be square.
233 00:22:25 Well, well, well.
234 00:22:26 Moving right in, are we? Think we own the place?
235 00:22:30 I got an eviction notice for you.
236 00:22:32 Just what exactly do you think you're doing here?
237 00:22:35 Taking care of your pest problem.
238 00:22:37 Pest problem?
239 00:22:40 Pest?
240 00:22:41 You got a hell of an infestation.
241 00:22:43 You know, I've noticed an infestation here.
242 00:22:46 Everywhere I look, nothing but undeveloped, unevolved...
243 00:22:49 ...barely conscious pond scum...
244 00:22:52 ...totally convinced of their own superiority...
245 00:22:55 ...as they scurry about their short...
246 00:22:57 ...pointless lives.
247 00:23:02 Don't you wanna get rid of them?
248 00:23:04 In the worst way.
249 00:23:42 Help you?
250 00:23:43 This dude gave me this card...
251 00:23:46 Elevator.
252 00:24:12 You're late. Sit down.
253 00:24:21 My name is Zed.
254 00:24:23 You're all here because you're the best.
255 00:24:26 Marines, Air Force, Navy SEALs,
256 00:24:28 Army Rangers, NYPD.
257 00:24:31 We want one of you.
258 00:24:32 Just one.
259 00:24:34 What will follow is a series of simple tests...
260 00:24:37 ...for motor skills, concentration, stamina.
261 00:24:41 I see we have a question.
262 00:24:43 I'm sorry, maybe you already answered this but...
263 00:24:46 ...why are we here?
264 00:24:48 Son.
265 00:24:50 Lieutenant Jensen. West Point graduate with honours.
266 00:24:53 We're here because you want the best of the best of the best, sir!
267 00:25:02 What's so funny, Edwards?
268 00:25:04 Your boy, Captain America, here.
269 00:25:07 "The best of the best of the best, sir!"
270 00:25:10 "With honours."
271 00:25:12 He's just really excited...
272 00:25:13 ...and has no clue why we're here.
273 00:25:16 That's just very funny to me.
274 00:25:20 Y'all ain't laughing, though.
275 00:25:29 Okay, let's get going.
276 00:26:56 Wanna get down on this?
277 00:27:23 Edwards, what happened?
278 00:27:25 Hesitated.
279 00:27:29 May I ask why you felt little Tiffany deserved to die?
280 00:27:33 She was the only one that seemed dangerous.
281 00:27:36 How'd you figure that?
282 00:27:37 I was gonna pop this guy hanging from the light...
283 00:27:40 ...but he's just working out.
284 00:27:42 How'd I feel if somebody bust my ass while I'm on the treadmill?
285 00:27:46 Then I saw this snarling beast.
286 00:27:48 I noticed he had a tissue in his hand and realized...
287 00:27:51 ...he's not snarling, he's sneezing.
288 00:27:54 Ain't no threat there.
289 00:27:55 Then I saw Tiffany.
290 00:27:57 8-year-old white girl, middle of the ghetto...
291 00:28:00 ...bunch of monsters at night with quantum physics books?
292 00:28:03 She about to start some shit.
293 00:28:05 Those books are way too advanced for her.
294 00:28:08 If you ask me, she's up to something.
295 00:28:10 I'd appreciate it if you eased up about it.
296 00:28:17 Or do I owe her an apology?
297 00:28:27 Good shot, though, right?
298 00:28:34 He has a problem with authority.
299 00:28:36 So do I.
300 00:28:38 But this kid ran down a cephalopoid on foot, boss.
301 00:28:41 That's gotta be tough enough.
302 00:28:44 Let's hope you know what you're doing.
303 00:28:55 Gentlemen, congratulations.
304 00:28:57 You're everything we expect from years of government training.
305 00:29:01 If you'll just follow me, we have one more test to administer.
306 00:29:05 An eye exam.
307 00:29:19 Where are you going?
308 00:29:22 What the hell is all this?
309 00:29:24 In the 1950s, the government started an underfunded agency...
310 00:29:28 ...with the laughable purpose of establishing contact...
311 00:29:31 ...with a race not of this planet.
312 00:29:33 Look at the end of this device.
313 00:29:35 Everyone thought the agency was a joke, except the aliens...
314 00:29:38 ...who made contact on March 2, 1961 outside New York.
315 00:29:42 There were nine of us the first night.
316 00:29:43 Seven agents, one astronomer...
317 00:29:46 ...and a dumb kid who'd gotten lost.
318 00:29:48 You brought that tall man some flowers.
319 00:29:52 This way.
320 00:29:54 They were a group of intergalactic refugees.
321 00:29:57 Wanted Earth as an apolitical zone for creatures without a planet.
322 00:30:00 You ever see Casablanca?
323 00:30:02 Same thing, except no Nazis.
324 00:30:04 We agreed and concealed all evidence of their landing.
325 00:30:08 So these are real flying saucers and the World's Fair was a cover-up?
326 00:30:13 Why hold it in Queens?
327 00:30:14 More nonhumans arrive every year and live among us in secret.
328 00:30:17 Not to change the subject,
329 00:30:19 but when was the last time you got a CAT scan?
330 00:30:22 - Six months ago. It's company policy. - Make another appointment.
331 00:30:26 Tell your boy Zed I had an absolutely wonderful time...
332 00:30:30 ...and thank you for everything, but show me the door.
333 00:30:33 All right. I'm getting some coffee. You want some?
334 00:30:36 No, thank you, I'm fine.
335 00:30:44 How you doing?
336 00:30:45 Hi, Kay.
337 00:30:47 - That's not decaf, is it? - Viennese cinnamon.
338 00:30:50 Don't tell me we only got powdered stuff for cream. I hate it.
339 00:30:56 Well, that's good. Good. Good.
340 00:30:59 You guys getting along all right?
341 00:31:02 Don't work too hard.
342 00:31:08 Sure you don't want some coffee?
343 00:31:16 Here's the deal.
344 00:31:18 At any given time, there are around 1500 aliens on the planet.
345 00:31:22 Most of them here in Manhattan.
346 00:31:24 Most of them are decent. Just trying to make a living.
347 00:31:27 - Cab drivers? - Not as many as you'd think.
348 00:31:30 Humans, for the most part, don't have a clue. Don't want one.
349 00:31:33 They're happy. They think they have a good bead on things.
350 00:31:39 People are smart. They can handle it.
351 00:31:41 A person is smart.
352 00:31:43 People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you know it.
353 00:31:47 1500 years ago, everybody knew the Earth was...
354 00:31:50 ...the centre of the universe.
355 00:31:52 500 years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat.
356 00:31:56 And 15 minutes ago, you knew that people were alone on this planet.
357 00:32:02 Imagine what you'll know...
358 00:32:04 ...tomorrow.
359 00:32:08 - What's the catch? - The catch?
360 00:32:11 The catch is, you will sever all human contact.
361 00:32:13 Nobody will ever know you exist anywhere...
362 00:32:18 ...ever.
363 00:32:23 I'll give you to sunrise to think it over.
364 00:32:30 Is it worth it?
365 00:32:32 Yeah, it's worth it.
366 00:32:36 If you're strong enough.
367 00:33:38 What's up, pops?
368 00:33:50 I'm in...
369 00:33:51 ...because there's some next-level shit going on here.
370 00:33:54 Before y'all beam me up, there's a few things to understand.
371 00:33:58 First off, you chose me, so you recognize the skills.
372 00:34:02 I don't want nobody calling me "son" or " kid" or "sport." Cool?
373 00:34:06 Cool. Whatever, slick.
374 00:34:07 But I need to tell you something about all your skills.
375 00:34:12 As of right now, they mean precisely...
376 00:34:13 As of right now, they mean precisely...
377 00:34:15 ...dick.
378 00:34:30 - Purpose of trip? - Diplomatic mission.
379 00:34:33 Duration of stay?
380 00:34:34 Lunch.
381 00:34:35 Any fruits or vegetables?
382 00:34:50 You wanna stay away from that guy.
383 00:34:53 He's grouchy.
384 00:34:55 Three hours in customs after a 17-trillion-mile trip...
385 00:34:58 ...will make anyone cranky.
386 00:35:00 What government branch do we report to?
387 00:35:02 - None. They ask too many questions. - Who pays for this?
388 00:35:05 We hold patents on a few gadgets we confiscated from out-of-state visitors.
389 00:35:10 Velcro, microwave ovens, liposuction.
390 00:35:12 This is a fascinating gadget.
391 00:35:15 It'll replace CDs soon.
392 00:35:16 I'll have to buy the White Album again.
393 00:35:18 That's fun. A universal translator. We're not even supposed to have it.
394 00:35:23 Human thought is so primitive. It's looked upon...
395 00:35:26 ...as an infectious disease in some galaxies.
396 00:35:28 That kind of makes you proud.
397 00:35:31 What's this?
398 00:35:35 Just be calm!
399 00:35:37 Relax!
400 00:35:39 Watch your head!
401 00:35:41 Someone get him some ice!
402 00:35:43 Look out! Move! Just move when it's coming at you!
403 00:35:52 Damn!
404 00:35:54 I'll pay for that!
405 00:36:07 This thing caused the 1977 New York blackout.
406 00:36:11 Practical joke by the Great Attractor.
407 00:36:13 He thought it was funny.
408 00:36:16 Sorry, y'all.
409 00:36:18 It was a accident. Sorry.
410 00:36:21 Observation, the heart of our endeavour.
411 00:36:23 Meet the twins, Blblup and Bob.
412 00:36:26 This map shows the location of every alien on Earth.
413 00:36:29 Some are under constant surveillance.
414 00:36:32 Everyone on those screens is an alien.
415 00:36:34 In public, they're as normal as you are, but in private...
416 00:36:38 You'll get the idea.
417 00:36:40 Oh, man.
418 00:36:42 Doesn't make any sense, right?
419 00:36:44 Well, no, it makes perfect sense.
420 00:36:48 In third grade, everyone said I was crazy, but I knew our teacher...
421 00:36:51 ...had to be from Venus or something.
422 00:36:54 Ms. Edelson. Jupiter, actually. Well, one of the moons.
423 00:36:58 ...revolve.
424 00:36:59 Class...
425 00:37:01 ...be quiet and pay attention!
426 00:37:04 If I have to tell you...
427 00:37:06 ...one more time...
428 00:37:10 Let's put it on.
429 00:37:12 Put what on?
430 00:37:13 The last suit you'll ever wear.
431 00:37:28 You will dress only in attire specially sanctioned...
432 00:37:31 ... by MiB Special Services.
433 00:37:34 You'll conform to the identity we give you...
434 00:37:37 ... eat where we tell you, live where we tell you.
435 00:37:40 From now on...
436 00:37:42 ... you'll have no identifying marks of any kind.
437 00:37:44 You will not stand out in any way.
438 00:37:47 Your entire image is crafted...
439 00:37:50 ... to leave no lasting memory with anyone you meet.
440 00:37:53 You are a rumour, recognizable only as...
441 00:37:55 ... deja vu and dismissed\njust as quickly.
442 00:37:59 You don't exist. You were never born.
443 00:38:04 Anonymity is your name.
444 00:38:06 Silence, your native tongue.
445 00:38:08 You're no longer part of the system.
446 00:38:11 You are above the system. Over it.
447 00:38:14 Beyond it.
448 00:38:16 We're "them. " We're "they. "
449 00:38:19 We are the Men in Black.
450 00:38:29 You know what the difference is between you and me?
451 00:38:34 I make this look good.
452 00:38:38 We're gonna go for a little ride.
453 00:38:41 I'll put you down here for a minute, and Daddy will be right back.
454 00:39:16 Okay, now we're ready to go for a little ride.
455 00:39:19 We'll meet one of Daddy's friends, and you'll like him.
456 00:39:26 Okay, let's see.
457 00:39:28 Bee, we got the deposed sur-prefect of Singalee...
458 00:39:32 ...touching down in the forest outside Portland tonight.
459 00:39:35 -Humanoid? - You wish. Bring a sponge.
460 00:39:39 Here. Red letter from last night.
461 00:39:42 We had an unauthorized landing in upstate New York.
462 00:39:45 Keep your ears open on this one.
463 00:39:47 We're not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here.
464 00:39:53 We got a skimmer.
465 00:39:54 Landed alien out of zone. Who is it?
466 00:39:57 Redgick.
467 00:39:58 He's not cleared to leave Manhattan, but he's out of town...
468 00:40:01 ...stuck on the New Jersey turnpike.
469 00:40:03 Take junior with you.
470 00:40:05 This is a good one for him to warm up on.
471 00:40:09 Go get him, tiger.
472 00:40:17 "We're not hosting an intergalactic kegger."
473 00:40:23 He just...
474 00:40:26 Unlimited technology from the whole universe, and we cruise around...
475 00:40:30 ...in a Ford POS.
476 00:40:34 Fasten your seat belt.
477 00:40:36 We gotta work on your people skills.
478 00:40:38 You'd get a better reaction if you were polite.
479 00:40:41 Fasten your seat belt, please.
480 00:40:43 Good. Did you hurt yourself?
481 00:40:48 The red button there, kid. Don't ever touch the red button.
482 00:41:02 All right, pop, that'll be $72 there.
483 00:41:05 Okay, sweetie, let me pay the impolite driver.
484 00:42:12 Six is up!
485 00:42:14 Where is lvan?
486 00:42:16 Gave him a break.
487 00:42:40 You can kill us both, but you will not find the Galaxy.
488 00:42:44 You're right about one thing.
489 00:43:01 You're not going anywhere.
490 00:43:20 Your licence and registration, please.
491 00:43:26 Like to see your other licence and registration, please.
492 00:43:36 You're restricted to Manhattan. Where are you going, Redgie?
493 00:43:40 It's my wife. She's... Well, look.
494 00:43:48 No big deal.
495 00:43:49 Okay, you come with me, Redge.
496 00:43:53 And you handle this.
497 00:43:56 What?! Me?
498 00:43:57 - You just catch. - Does he know what he's doing?
499 00:44:00 He does it all the time. Let him work.
500 00:44:11 Damn, man!
501 00:44:13 Something's peeking!
502 00:44:16 You're headed out of town.
503 00:44:18 - We're meeting someone. - Who?
504 00:44:21 - It's a ship. - I saw no departure clearance.
505 00:44:24 You didn't?
506 00:44:25 It's an emergency.
507 00:44:28 You're doing fine!
508 00:44:30 What kind of emergency? What's the rush to get off the planet?
509 00:44:34 We don't like the neighbourhood anymore.
510 00:44:37 Some of the new arrivals...
511 00:44:39 New arrivals? Have anything to do with the crasher last night?
512 00:44:42 Excuse me, miss!
513 00:44:47 Oh, man.
514 00:44:49 Oh, man!
515 00:44:53 Look.
516 00:44:54 Oh, man!
517 00:44:58 Congratulations, Redge. It's a...
518 00:45:01 ...squid.
519 00:45:05 You know, it's...
520 00:45:07 ...actually kind of...
521 00:45:16 ...cute.
522 00:45:25 Anything about that seem unusual?
523 00:45:29 What would scare Redgick so badly...
524 00:45:31 ...that he'd risk a warp jump with a newborn?
525 00:45:34 We'll check the hot sheets.
526 00:45:42 These are " hot sheets"?
527 00:45:43 Best investigative reporting on Earth.
528 00:45:45 Read The New York Times if you want. They get lucky sometimes.
529 00:45:49 Cannot believe you're looking for tips in the supermarket tabloids.
530 00:45:54 Not " looking for."
531 00:45:56 Found.
532 00:46:12 - Wait a minute, slow down. - Why?
533 00:46:14 Give her time to get the wrong impression. Makes it smoother.
534 00:46:19 Can I help you?
535 00:46:20 Yes, ma'am. I'm Agent Manheim, this is Agent Black, FBI.
536 00:46:24 We'd like to talk about your visitor.
537 00:46:26 Gonna make fun of me too?
538 00:46:28 No, we do not have a sense of humour we're aware of.
539 00:46:30 May we come in?
540 00:46:33 Sure.
541 00:46:35 - Thank you. - Lemonade?
542 00:46:36 Oh, yes, please.
543 00:46:42 The chief of police came to the house...
544 00:46:45 ...and did an investigation.
545 00:46:47 Took a police report and writ down everything I said...
546 00:46:51 ...not believing one thing I said.
547 00:46:53 Sort of poking fun at me.
548 00:46:55 He asked me, " If he was murdered...
549 00:46:57 ...how was he able to walk back in the house?"
550 00:47:00 I gotta admit to you that that one got me stumped.
551 00:47:03 I tell you, I know Edgar, and that wasn't Edgar.
552 00:47:07 It was like something was wearing Edgar.
553 00:47:12 Like a suit...
554 00:47:14 ...an Edgar suit.
555 00:47:23 Dude was that ugly before he was an alien.
556 00:47:29 I'm sorry.
557 00:47:31 Go on.
558 00:47:33 Anyway...
559 00:47:34 ...I come to and he's gone.
560 00:47:37 He say anything?
561 00:47:39 Yes. He asked me for some water.
562 00:47:42 Some sugar water.
563 00:47:44 Sugar water?
564 00:47:46 I remember that right. I thought that that was odd...
565 00:47:49 ...that he asked me for sugar water and not lemonade or ice water...
566 00:47:54 ...or regular water...
567 00:47:55 ...tap water.
568 00:47:57 All right, Beatrice. There was no alien.
569 00:48:00 The flash of light was not a U.F.O.
570 00:48:03 Gas was trapped in a thermal pocket and refracted the light from Venus.
571 00:48:07 Wait a minute.
572 00:48:09 That thing erases her memory, and you just make up a new one?
573 00:48:13 A standard-issue neuralizer.
574 00:48:15 That weak-ass story is the best you came up with?
575 00:48:18 All right. On a more personal note...
576 00:48:20 ...Edgar ran off with an old girlfriend.
577 00:48:22 You'll stay with your mama...
578 00:48:25 ...and decide you're better off.
579 00:48:26 Yeah, because he never appreciated you anyway.
580 00:48:30 In fact, you know what?
581 00:48:33 You kicked him out. And now that he's gone...
582 00:48:36 ...you'll go in town, find yourself some nice dresses.
583 00:48:39 Get yourself some shoes. Find somewhere you could get a facial.
584 00:48:45 And hire a decorator to come in here quick because... damn!
585 00:48:56 When do I get my own flashy...
586 00:48:58 ...memory messer-upper?
587 00:49:00 When you grow up.
588 00:49:05 Please. Not green.
589 00:49:07 Oh, damn!
590 00:49:10 Do you know which alien leaves a green spectral trail...
591 00:49:13 ...and craves sugar water?
592 00:49:15 That was on Jeopardy last night. Damn, Alex said it was...
593 00:49:20 Zed, we have a bug.
594 00:49:22 So... What? We don't like bugs?
595 00:49:25 Bugs thrive on carnage, tiger.
596 00:49:28 They consume, infest, destroy, live off the death of other species.
597 00:49:32 You were stung as a child, right?
598 00:49:35 Imagine a giant cockroach with unlimited strength...
599 00:49:39 ...a massive inferiority complex, and a real short temper...
600 00:49:43 ...is terrorizing Manhattan Island in a new Edgar suit.
601 00:49:47 That sound like fun?
602 00:49:51 What's the move?
603 00:49:53 With a bug in town, we'll watch the morgues.
604 00:50:08 Where do you want contestant number 3?
605 00:50:10 Just leave it there.
606 00:50:11 What's with the cat?
607 00:50:13 There's a problem with the cat. Sign here.
608 00:50:16 - What's the problem with the cat? - It's your problem.
609 00:50:22 I hate the living.
610 00:50:26 Shall we?
611 00:50:57 Oh, my God!
612 00:51:03 Buddy, what are you?
613 00:51:13 Subject was approximately 112 degrees at time of autopsy...
614 00:51:17 ...indicating a temperature increase.
615 00:51:19 Examiner tried to verify this rectally, but the subject had no rectum.
616 00:51:23 Which is really...
617 00:51:25 Weird.
618 00:51:27 I'm Dr. Leo Manville, Department of Public Health. This is Dr. White.
619 00:51:32 You must not have a home life.
620 00:51:34 We watch the morgues carefully. You have something unusual?
621 00:51:38 I'd say so. Triple homicide.
622 00:51:40 The first body was normal, except he was broken in half.
623 00:51:42 The first body was normal, except he was broken in half.
624 00:51:44 But when I opened up the other two, well...
625 00:51:47 Let me show you.
626 00:51:54 There's a skeletal structure unlike anything I've seen.
627 00:51:58 I'll have a look at it.
628 00:52:00 You and Dr. Weaver check the other body.
629 00:52:02 This way, doctor.
630 00:52:04 This one's even stranger.
631 00:52:07 I did a laparotomy. I started with the stomach.
632 00:52:10 But we can start with the gastroesophageal junction.
633 00:52:14 Let's start wherever you started at.
634 00:52:18 Okey-dokey.
635 00:52:28 - Is this your cat? - It is now.
636 00:52:30 It came in with the body. Dive right in.
637 00:52:32 I'm sure he won't mind.
638 00:52:37 You have really pretty eyes.
639 00:52:40 Thank you.
640 00:52:45 Feel that?
641 00:52:46 Where the pyloric junction would be? Push it aside.
642 00:52:50 Notice anything strange? Stomach, liver, lungs...
643 00:52:53 Nope, all fine.
644 00:52:55 They're all missing.
645 00:52:58 Of course.
646 00:52:59 That's obviously the first thing I noticed.
647 00:53:02 What I was pointing out is the fact that there are no...
648 00:53:06 ...pieces...
649 00:53:08 ...of them left.
650 00:53:10 You know, so they're intact...
651 00:53:13 ...wherever they are whole. That we can be sure of.
652 00:53:17 Have we met before?
653 00:53:19 I'm having a feeling of dejavu.
654 00:53:22 - Yeah, me too. - Really?
655 00:53:26 Wanna know what I think? Don't tell him.
656 00:53:28 He's under enough stress. I don't think it's a real body.
657 00:53:32 I think it's some kind of transport unit for something else.
658 00:53:35 The question is, what?
659 00:53:38 Is this freaking you out?
660 00:53:43 No, girl.
661 00:53:46 You know what I like to do sometimes when it's late?
662 00:53:51 No
663 00:53:53 Dr. White.
664 00:53:56 Excuse me.
665 00:54:02 What do you think?
666 00:54:04 Interesting. She got a "Queen of the Undead" thing going...
667 00:54:07 Of the body.
668 00:54:09 Great body.
669 00:54:10 The dead body.
670 00:54:12 You have to look at that thing.
671 00:54:14 You recognize him?
672 00:54:17 He looks like the big guy I saw at headquarters, only deader.
673 00:54:20 What killed him?
674 00:54:23 A bug?
675 00:54:25 You're up, slugger.
676 00:54:30 Look at this.
677 00:54:33 What the hell is that?
678 00:54:53 Must...
679 00:54:56 To prevent...
680 00:55:01 ...contest.
681 00:55:04 What are you saying?
682 00:55:05 To prevent...
683 00:55:07 To prevent...
684 00:55:09 ...struggle?
685 00:55:12 To prevent...
686 00:55:14 War?
687 00:55:15 War.
688 00:55:19 The Galaxy...
689 00:55:22 ...is on...
690 00:55:24 ...Orion's...
691 00:55:28 ...be...
692 00:55:32 What is word?
693 00:55:34 The bed?
694 00:55:36 Belt? Orion's belt?
695 00:55:58 "To prevent war, the Galaxy is on Orion's belt."
696 00:56:02 What the hell does that mean?
697 00:56:07 Doctor...
698 00:56:09 ...whatever, come here.
699 00:56:11 Dr. Whatever? You guys aren't really from the Department of Health.
700 00:56:15 Rosenberg. Damn!
701 00:56:17 The Arquillians won't like this. He was one of the royal family.
702 00:56:22 This is an alien...
703 00:56:23 ...and you're from a government agency keeping it under wraps.
704 00:56:27 He said, "To prevent war, the Galaxy is on Orion's belt."
705 00:56:30 How else do you explain New York?
706 00:56:33 I was in this cab, and this guy was...
707 00:56:37 "Galaxy on Orion's belt" makes no sense.
708 00:56:39 That's what the little dude inside the big dude's head said, right?
709 00:56:43 Damn, man! You did the flashy thing already.
710 00:56:47 Whoever you are, you'll have to show me I.D.
711 00:56:49 Of course, young lady. Look at this for me, please.
712 00:56:53 - Would you stop that? - What?
713 00:56:55 That thing will give her brain cancer.
714 00:56:57 Never hurt her before. Close the doors.
715 00:57:00 Special Services will be here.
716 00:57:02 How many times have you flashy-thinged that woman?
717 00:57:05 Couple.
718 00:57:06 - Don't you worry about long-term damage? - A little.
719 00:57:09 - Have you flashy-thinged me? - No.
720 00:57:12 I ain't playing with you! Have you?
721 00:57:24 I think I should be in charge of the flashy thing.
722 00:57:27 Not while I'm around.
723 00:57:29 You'll fricassee someone's brain.
724 00:57:31 We got two dead aliens and a medical examiner needs a new memory.
725 00:57:38 Make it a happy memory.
726 00:58:13 Where is it?!
727 00:58:59 Hey, Zed.
728 00:59:01 Doesn't anybody ever get any sleep around here?
729 00:59:04 The twins keep us on Centurian time. It's a 37-hour day.
730 00:59:08 Give it a few months. You'll get used to it.
731 00:59:11 Or have a psychotic episode.
732 00:59:13 Here's Orion.
733 00:59:14 It's a grouping of the brightest stars in the northern sky.
734 00:59:17 - Here's Orion's belt. - The little guy said:
735 00:59:20 "To prevent war, the Galaxy is on Orion's belt."
736 00:59:24 There are no galaxies on Orion's belt.
737 00:59:26 The belt is just these three stars. Galaxies are huge.
738 00:59:30 They're made up of billions of stars. You heard wrong.
739 00:59:35 Look, whatever, I know what I heard.
740 01:00:15 Pretty lady.
741 01:00:23 That grumpy guy's story's starting to come into focus a little bit here.
742 01:00:28 So you were the guy in that picture with the flowers?
743 01:00:32 And, I take it, she never got those flowers.
744 01:00:36 So, what, she ever get married or anything?
745 01:00:40 They say it's better to have loved and lost...
746 01:00:43 ...than never to have loved at all.
747 01:00:46 Try it.
748 01:00:53 Look at this.
749 01:00:54 They're all leaving.
750 01:00:56 We've had 12 jumps in the last hour. Redgick was just the first.
751 01:01:00 What do they know that we don't?
752 01:01:03 Why does a rat desert a ship?
753 01:01:04 Give me Lem Sat 4, please, with a proton induction thermoscan.
754 01:01:10 Thank you. Okay. Lem Sat 18.
755 01:01:14 All right, 4000.
756 01:01:20 An Arquillian battle cruiser.
757 01:01:22 And we've got a dead Arquillian prince.
758 01:01:26 Speak of the devil.
759 01:01:29 They sound pissed.
760 01:01:30 Translate that. Step on it.
761 01:01:32 Go to Rosenberg's jewellery store, and see what you can turn up.
762 01:01:41 Give the kid a weapon.
763 01:01:52 - Series 4 De-atomizer. - That's what I'm talking about.
764 01:01:56 Noisy Cricket.
765 01:01:59 Kay, no, no, come on, man.
766 01:02:02 You get a Series 4 De-atomizer...
767 01:02:04 ...I get a little midget Cricket?
768 01:02:10 Feel like I'm gonna break it.
769 01:02:57 Hey, this is my truck!
770 01:03:00 Make sure you tell them that down at the impound.
771 01:03:10 Please.
772 01:03:22 Who breaks into a jewellery store and leaves the jewels?
773 01:03:25 Somebody not looking for jewellery.
774 01:03:29 This guy had a serious crush on his cat.
775 01:03:34 Get down!
776 01:03:40 Man!
777 01:03:43 That's him. That's the bug!
778 01:03:45 In the Edgar suit!
779 01:04:08 We do not discharge our weapons in view of the public!
780 01:04:11 We ain't got time for this bullshit!
781 01:04:14 There's a alien battle cruiser about to...
782 01:04:16 There's always an alien battle cruiser or a death ray...
783 01:04:19 ...or an intergalactic plague about to wipe out life on Earth.
784 01:04:23 The only way people get on with their happy lives...
785 01:04:26 ...is they do not know about it!
786 01:04:33 And don't worry about the bug.
787 01:04:35 He's not leaving town. We got his ship.
788 01:04:46 We need a containment crew...
789 01:04:48 ... on MacDougal Street.
790 01:04:50 Containment may be a moot point. The exodus continues.
791 01:04:54 The party's over, and the last one to leave gets stuck with the check.
792 01:04:58 You sorry little ingrates!
793 01:05:09 What about the Arquillians?
794 01:05:11 We've translated part of the message: " Deliver the Galaxy."
795 01:05:14 -They don't want much, do they? - Oh, it gets better.
796 01:05:18 They hold us responsible.
797 01:05:28 Where do you keep your dead?
798 01:05:30 I don't have any dead.
799 01:05:33 Where?
800 01:05:34 I don't know.
801 01:05:36 The city morgue?
802 01:05:48 That's three for a dollar, sir!
803 01:05:51 It was some light that refracted off of Venus...
804 01:05:54 ...into some swamp gas...
805 01:05:56 ...and that's what made the...
806 01:05:58 All right, kid!
807 01:06:00 Excuse me. What's up?
808 01:06:02 The Arquillians want the Galaxy, whatever that means.
809 01:06:04 We need help, a professional...
810 01:06:06 ...with years of experience in intergalactic politics.
811 01:06:10 I hope the little twerp hasn't skipped town.
812 01:06:15 If you'll gather over here...
813 01:06:17 That's right, move in closer. That's good. Thanks.
814 01:06:21 If you look right here, I'd appreciate it. Thank you.
815 01:06:37 The worst disguise ever. He's definitely an alien.
816 01:06:40 You don't like it, you can kiss my furry butt.
817 01:06:44 Busy, Frank?
818 01:06:45 Can't talk now. My flight's leaving in...
819 01:06:47 Get your paws off!
820 01:06:48 Call the pound!
821 01:06:50 The dog owes my friend money.
822 01:06:52 Arquillians and bugs, what do you know?
823 01:06:54 - Nothing. - Not a thing?
824 01:06:58 Stop, stop, stop it! Okay, okay!
825 01:07:01 Rosenberg wasn't a two-bit Arquillian.
826 01:07:04 He was the guardian of the Galaxy. He thought he'd be safe on Earth.
827 01:07:07 The bug had other plans.
828 01:07:08 The Galaxy is the best source for subatomic energy in the universe.
829 01:07:12 If the bugs get it, kiss the Arquillians goodbye.
830 01:07:15 Ask about the belt.
831 01:07:17 Rosenberg mentioned Orion's belt. What did he mean?
832 01:07:20 - Beats me. - Beats you?
833 01:07:22 Not around.
834 01:07:26 It's a ventriloquist act.
835 01:07:29 The Galaxy is here!
836 01:07:31 Here?
837 01:07:32 A galaxy's millions of stars and planets.
838 01:07:35 When will you learn that size doesn't matter?
839 01:07:38 If something's important, it doesn't mean it's not small.
840 01:07:41 How small?
841 01:07:43 The size of a marble or a jewel.
842 01:07:45 Excuse me. I gotta be walked before my flight.
843 01:07:48 Get out of here.
844 01:07:52 If the Galaxy's here, it's not on Orion's belt.
845 01:08:15 When you want attention...
846 01:08:19 Orion.
847 01:08:20 That's a pretty name.
848 01:08:22 What's this?
849 01:09:18 Yes, good, thank you.
850 01:09:21 Thank you for making sure the bell works.
851 01:09:26 What's up, Farmer John?
852 01:09:30 A man came in here earlier.
853 01:09:33 A dead man.
854 01:09:34 And that means what to me?
855 01:09:38 It was a very dear friend of mine.
856 01:09:41 I believe he had an animal with him.
857 01:09:44 It was a gift I gave him. A pet cat.
858 01:09:47 It means worlds to me.
859 01:09:48 I'd like to have it back.
860 01:09:50 I'll need picture I.D., proof of ownership of the cat...
861 01:09:54 ...notarized proof of kinship with the deceased.
862 01:09:59 Don't do that.
863 01:10:02 Do what?
864 01:10:04 Don't do it.
865 01:10:08 Oh, man.
866 01:10:25 Look, Kay, let me handle this one.
867 01:10:28 All we gotta do is get a cat. It's not that hard.
868 01:10:31 But if you go in there, you'll start flashing your brain ray in her face.
869 01:10:35 She'll wind up with leukemia.
870 01:10:37 The doctor don't need you flashing away her med-school classes. Five minutes.
871 01:10:41 Two minutes.
872 01:10:45 Where's the animal?
873 01:10:46 I said I don't know.
874 01:10:48 Well, let's see if we can find it.
875 01:10:56 Hello!
876 01:11:06 Hello!
877 01:11:12 - How you doing? - Hello.
878 01:11:13 I'm Sergeant Friday from the 26th Precinct.
879 01:11:17 A cat came in with a corpse the other day.
880 01:11:19 - "Orion" on the nametag? - Right.
881 01:11:22 Well, this cat is a witness...
882 01:11:26 ...in a murder case. I'll need to take him.
883 01:11:28 I don't know where the cat is.
884 01:11:30 You don't?
885 01:11:32 No, but maybe you could take me with you instead.
886 01:11:37 Damn, you do start fast, don't you?
887 01:11:40 I'd really like to go with you...
888 01:11:42 ...now.
889 01:11:44 And exactly why is that?
890 01:11:54 I need to show you something.
891 01:11:56 Slow down.
892 01:11:57 - Girl, don't hit the gas like that! - You don't understand.
893 01:12:01 You really need to see this.
894 01:12:03 I will. One thing.
895 01:12:05 I gotta drive. It's not some macho trip.
896 01:12:08 That's just the way I get down.
897 01:12:22 Look, stud, you're really not getting this.
898 01:12:25 There's something I need you to help me with.
899 01:12:39 Freeze it!
900 01:12:40 You are thick!
901 01:12:41 How could I know?
902 01:12:43 Did I have to sing it?
903 01:12:44 You were like a drunk prom date.
904 01:12:46 Typical. Anytime a woman shows even a hint of sexual independence...
905 01:12:50 Shut up!
906 01:12:51 Let her go!
907 01:12:52 Listen, monkey-boy...
908 01:12:54 ...l'm on the top rung of the evolutionary ladder.
909 01:12:58 So can it.
910 01:12:59 Show me your face, and I'll cure your ills.
911 01:13:02 Ever pull wings off a fly? Care to see the fly get even?
912 01:13:05 What about your ship?
913 01:13:07 If that's what you call that trash we got locked up.
914 01:13:10 - Put your weapons down! - Won't happen.
915 01:13:13 It's okay.
916 01:13:14 How is it okay?
917 01:13:16 I'm saying it's gonna be okay.
918 01:13:18 Don't bet on it, meat sack.
919 01:13:30 Let me go!
920 01:13:42 Go on!
921 01:13:47 Take me here.
922 01:13:49 No way.
923 01:13:51 Take me!
924 01:14:10 He's in a cab!
925 01:14:33 Don't move! Don't move! Don't move!
926 01:14:36 Hey, man, what?
927 01:14:49 He's not leaving the planet in a cab. Let's go.
928 01:14:57 Put up a bionet all the way around Manhattan.
929 01:15:00 If it's not human, it doesn't leave.
930 01:15:04 What do we hear from upstairs?
931 01:15:05 " Deliver the Galaxy."
932 01:15:07 The bug's got the Galaxy, but we got his ship.
933 01:15:13 Warning: Plutonic fusion detection.
934 01:15:16 Warning: Plutonic fusion detection.
935 01:15:23 - Why are they shooting at us? - Battle rules.
936 01:15:26 We get an ultimatum, a warning shot,
937 01:15:29 then a galactic week to respond.
938 01:15:31 A galactic week? How the hell long is that?
939 01:15:34 One hour.
940 01:15:35 One hour?
941 01:15:37 Then what?
942 01:15:43 That's bullshit!
943 01:15:45 To keep the bugs from getting it, Arquillians will destroy that galaxy.
944 01:15:49 And whatever planet it's on.
945 01:15:53 You're talking about us.
946 01:15:54 Sucks, huh?
947 01:15:58 I'll get the location of every interstellar vehicle.
948 01:16:01 I already did. Frank took the last ship.
949 01:16:04 - Sneden's Landing and Throg's Neck. - Gone.
950 01:16:06 - What about Atlantic City? - Gone.
951 01:16:08 - Bayonne? - Gone.
952 01:16:10 - There's Three Mile Island. - Gone.
953 01:16:13 - Staten Island? - Gone, thank God.
954 01:16:15 We're running out of time. If that bug gets off Earth, we're bug food.
955 01:16:19 Hey, old guys!
956 01:16:26 Do those still work?
957 01:16:43 - You're coming with me. - What?
958 01:16:45 It's a long trip. I'll need a snack.
959 01:16:54 The tunnel?
960 01:16:55 - You know a better way to Queens? - It'll be packed!
961 01:17:12 Remember the red button?
962 01:17:14 Push the red button.
963 01:17:16 Put on a seat belt.
964 01:17:30 You're much too tense. You're young. Relax.
965 01:17:33 Take some joy in your work.
966 01:17:35 Do you like music?
967 01:17:40 That's better.
968 01:17:41 *... in Norfolk Virginia California on my mind*
969 01:17:45 *I straddled that Greyhound And rode him into Raleigh*
970 01:17:48 *And on across Caroline*
971 01:17:50 *Somebody help me Get out of Louisiana*
972 01:17:55 *There are people there Who care a little 'bout me*
973 01:17:58 *And won't let the poor boy down*
974 01:18:13 You do know Elvis is dead?
975 01:18:15 No, Elvis is not dead. He just went home.
976 01:18:33 You don't wanna eat me.
977 01:18:34 I'm an important person on my planet. Like a queen!
978 01:18:37 A goddess, even. There are those who worship me.
979 01:18:40 I'm not trying to impress you.
980 01:18:42 I'm just saying it could start a war!
981 01:18:45 Good, war. That means more food for my family.
982 01:18:48 All 78 million of them. That's a lot of mouths to feed.
983 01:18:51 You're a wonderful dad, but I'm staying here!
984 01:19:15 Now, that's what I'm talking about.
985 01:19:19 Roaches check in.
986 01:19:23 They don't check out.
987 01:19:29 Warning: E ight minutes to the destruction of Earth.
988 01:19:35 E ight minutes...
989 01:19:36 ... to destruction.
990 01:20:23 We'll use pulsar level five with an implosion factor.
991 01:20:26 What?!
992 01:20:27 Just shoot the damn thing on the count of three. One...
993 01:20:30 ...Two ...Three
994 01:21:32 You idiots!
995 01:21:35 You don't get it!
996 01:21:37 I've won.
997 01:21:38 It's over.
998 01:21:41 You're milk-suckers!
999 01:21:44 You don't matter.
1000 01:21:46 In a few seconds, you won't even be matter.
1001 01:21:48 You're under arrest for violating the Tycho Treaty.
1002 01:21:51 So hand over whatever galaxy you might be carrying...
1003 01:21:54 ...and put your hands on your head.
1004 01:22:02 I'll put my hands...
1005 01:22:06 ...on my head.
1006 01:22:12 Like this?
1007 01:22:42 That did not go the way I planned.
1008 01:22:45 Don't let him on the second ship.
1009 01:22:46 - What are you talking about? - Keep him on this planet.
1010 01:22:50 Where are you going?
1011 01:22:52 I'm gonna get my gun back.
1012 01:22:57 Hey, bug!
1013 01:22:58 You know how many of your kind I've swatted with a paper?
1014 01:23:01 You're just a smear on the sports page...
1015 01:23:04 ...you slimy, gut-sucking, intestinal parasite!
1016 01:23:07 Eat me!
1017 01:23:09 Eat me!
1018 01:23:29 What's up?
1019 01:23:30 You just gonna eat and run? What about dessert?
1020 01:23:39 That's it?
1021 01:23:41 Where you going? This party's just getting started.
1022 01:23:45 Where you going?
1023 01:23:48 Where you going?
1024 01:23:51 Let me tell you.
1025 01:23:52 There's only one way off this planet, and that's through me.
1026 01:24:39 Where you going?
1027 01:24:41 Why you running, huh?
1028 01:24:43 I'm still standing.
1029 01:24:46 Come on, bring it. Bring it!
1030 01:25:07 I'm sorry. Was that your auntie?
1031 01:25:12 That means that's your uncle.
1032 01:25:17 You all look alike.
1033 01:25:27 Well, well.
1034 01:25:29 Big, bad bug got a bit of a soft spot, huh?
1035 01:25:36 I can't understand why you gotta...
1036 01:25:38 ...come down here bringing all this ruckus...
1037 01:25:41 ...snatching up galaxies and everything.
1038 01:25:44 My attitude is, don't start nothing, won't be nothing.
1039 01:25:54 Ease up out of my face before something bad happens to you.
1040 01:26:00 Too late.
1041 01:26:31 Tell the Arquillians we have the Galaxy.
1042 01:26:33 You got it, friend.
1043 01:26:37 Going to get your gun back, huh?
1044 01:26:39 I like this gun.
1045 01:26:41 While you was in there playing around, I was doing all the work.
1046 01:26:46 I had to bean him in the head with this big rock.
1047 01:26:49 I was gonna hit him with a 2-by-4.
1048 01:26:51 He kicked me. It hurt.
1049 01:26:53 But then I got to the fire. I was like that with it.
1050 01:26:56 Not bad for your second day of work, is it?
1051 01:26:59 This definitely rates a 9.0 on my weird-shit-o-metre.
1052 01:27:03 Should've been here for the Zeronion migration in 1968.
1053 01:27:09 I guess you weren't even alive in '68.
1054 01:27:18 Interesting job you guys have.
1055 01:27:37 I know we got these rules...
1056 01:27:39 ...but she did help us bust that bug.
1057 01:27:41 Maybe we didn't have to flashy-thing her.
1058 01:27:45 Come on. Who will she tell? She hang out with dead people.
1059 01:27:49 It's not for her.
1060 01:27:51 It's for me.
1061 01:27:54 What?
1062 01:27:57 Aren't they beautiful?
1063 01:28:00 Stars.
1064 01:28:02 I never look at them anymore, but they actually are...
1065 01:28:08 ...beautiful.
1066 01:28:14 Kay, you're frightening your partner.
1067 01:28:16 I've been training a replacement, not a partner.
1068 01:28:20 Wait a minute, Kay.
1069 01:28:23 I cannot do this job by myself.
1070 01:28:25 Guys, my apartment isn't anywhere near here.
1071 01:28:28 It's not even on the same island.
1072 01:28:32 Days...
1073 01:28:33 ...months...
1074 01:28:34 ...years.
1075 01:28:36 Always face it forward.
1076 01:28:47 I was in an interstellar cockroach's gullet.
1077 01:28:50 That's one of 100 memories I don't want.
1078 01:29:09 See you around.
1079 01:29:17 No...
1080 01:29:19 ...you won't.
1081 01:29:54 Hey J,
1082 01:29:56 The high consulate from Solaxium 9...
1083 01:29:59 ...wants seats for the Bulls game.
1084 01:30:01 Call Dennis Rodman. He's from that planet.
1085 01:30:06 Rodman? You're kidding.
1086 01:30:08 Nope.
1087 01:30:09 Not much of a disguise.
