维多利亚与阿卜杜勒 Victoria and Abdul(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:01:26 Idiot!
2 00:02:17 Ah, Mr Karim.
3 00:02:21 I wanted to speak to you about the carpets
4 00:02:23 we sent to the British Exhibition.
5 00:02:24 - There is a problem, sir? - No, no.
6 00:02:26 The carpets went down very well.
7 00:02:28 In fact, the Governor General
8 00:02:30 has received a letter from the Royal Household
9 00:02:32 thanking him personally.
10 00:02:33 It's all been such a success,
11 00:02:35 he has decided to present the Queen
12 00:02:38 with a mohar as part of the Jubilee.
13 00:02:41 A mohar, sir?
14 00:02:42 A mohar. Apparently some sort of ceremonial coin.
15 00:02:46 I've been asked to find someone tall to present it.
16 00:02:50 You're the tallest person here.
17 00:02:52 When will she be arriving, sir?
18 00:02:54 Not in Agra, in England!
19 00:02:57 You will travel to England.
20 00:02:59 And present the mohar as an official function.
21 00:03:04 Like an equerry.
22 00:03:06 On a horse?
23 00:03:07 I don't think there'll be a horse.
24 00:03:10 Equerry always has a horse, Mr Tyler, sir.
25 00:03:13 Well, maybe not like an equerry exactly.
26 00:03:19 Morning.
27 00:03:21 Ah, morning.
28 00:03:22 This is Major Bigge,
29 00:03:24 extra Groom in Waiting to the Royal Household Windsor
30 00:03:27 who will be in charge of your journey.
31 00:03:29 This is Abdul.
32 00:03:30 Top hole! And this is Mohammed,
33 00:03:34 who will also be presenting the mohar.
34 00:03:41 He's very short.
35 00:03:42 We had to swop him at the last moment.
36 00:03:44 The tall chap had an accident with an elephant.
37 00:04:06 Good morning, Your Majesty.
38 00:04:11 At the head is the Lord Chamberlain,
39 00:04:12 then the Private Secretary, the Deputy Private Secretary,
40 00:04:15 the Ladies in Waiting, the Upper Servants,
41 00:04:16 the lower Upper Servants.
42 00:04:18 Then the members of the Household:
43 00:04:20 One, the head of the Bedchamber,
44 00:04:21 two, the personal head of staff,
45 00:04:23 three, the Butler in Chief,
46 00:04:24 who is in charge of the Household Butler,
47 00:04:26 the kitchen factotum, the Head Chef,
48 00:04:28 the head of waiting staff, the ordinary waiting staff, Windsor,
49 00:04:31 the table maids, then you. Any questions?
50 00:04:34 Uh-huh, who will have the mohar, sir?
51 00:04:37 I'm not exactly sure as yet.
52 00:04:39 I suspect you'll both carry it. On a cushion.
53 00:04:41 Do we both get a cushion?
54 00:04:43 I really don't know.
55 00:04:44 The key to good service is standing still and moving backwards.
56 00:04:48 The most important thing is you must not look at her.
57 00:05:09 Have you any idea how cold it is in England?
58 00:05:11 We're gonna die there.
59 00:05:12 Why did you agree to come?
60 00:05:14 The tall one fell off an elephant, I wasn't given a choice.
61 00:05:18 Ugh, five thousand miles to present a bloody medal
62 00:05:20 to the oppressor of the entire Indian subcontinent.
63 00:05:23 You don't realise what a great honour this is for us.
64 00:05:27 Have you ever tasted English food? They eat pig's blood.
65 00:05:30 They do not eat pig's blood.
66 00:05:31 I'm telling you, they put pig's blood in the sausages,
67 00:05:33 and brains of sheep.
68 00:05:38 The place is completely barbaric.
69 00:05:51 Give us some money.
70 00:05:54 Please, sir?
71 00:05:56 Civilisation!
72 00:05:57 Please, sir, give us a farthing.
73 00:05:59 Give us a farthing, sir.
74 00:06:01 Arms.
75 00:06:07 Arms.
76 00:06:09 We copied them from some drawings
77 00:06:11 in the British Museum.
78 00:06:13 Splendid!
79 00:06:14 You do know the sash is not traditional, sir?
80 00:06:18 The Indian drawings didn't look very... Indian
81 00:06:21 so we made some innovations.
82 00:06:23 The important thing is to look... authentic.
83 00:06:27 Looks jolly good to me.
84 00:06:29 Jubilee celebrations: 9:00, breakfast in London,
85 00:06:32 Quarter to ten, changing of the guard.
86 00:06:34 eleven o'clock, meeting with the Swedish Ambassador.
87 00:06:37 twelve o'clock, luncheon with Oscar II, King of Sweden and Norway,
88 00:06:42 the Norwegian Ambassador,
89 00:06:43 the Chief Undersecretary
90 00:06:44 of State for the southern Norwegian provinces,
91 00:06:47 the Junior Undersecretary of State for the
92 00:06:49 northern Norwegian provinces.
93 00:06:51 Two o'clock, ceremonial drive down the Mall.
94 00:06:54 Half past two,
95 00:06:55 tea party at Hyde Park for 30,000 children.
96 00:07:01 Half past four,
97 00:07:02 household departs on the royal train to Windsor.
98 00:07:05 Half past six, dinner in the Great Hall.
99 00:07:08 Come on, then, chop chop!
100 00:07:10 And the ceremonial presentation of a mohar.
101 00:07:20 The Hindoos, sir!
102 00:07:26 But they're completely different sizes.
103 00:07:28 There was an incident, sir, with an elephant.
104 00:07:32 The Queen arrives.
105 00:07:33 Fanfares.
106 00:07:35 Ceremonial entrance.
107 00:07:38 The Royal Entourage make their way to the table,
108 00:07:42 to be seated thus.
109 00:07:44 Her Majesty.
110 00:07:46 Sir Henry Ponsonby, Private Secretary,
111 00:07:48 the Secretary of State for India,
112 00:07:49 the Emperor of Russia, Dr Reid, Lady Churchill,
113 00:07:52 Miss Phipps, etcetera, etcetera. Grace.
114 00:07:55 Soup: potage Saint Germain with puree de madeleines.
115 00:08:00 Fish course: morue a huîtres.
116 00:08:03 Fanfare. Entree:
117 00:08:05 quenelle with Regency sauce, etcetera, etcetera.
118 00:08:09 Dessert: pain d'epinards, tartelettes a la Suisse,
119 00:08:13 profiteroles. Always profiteroles.
120 00:08:16 You will come from the northwest service entrance.
121 00:08:19 Process together.
122 00:08:20 And you will stand here.
123 00:08:22 No.
124 00:08:23 A little bit.
125 00:08:25 That's it.
126 00:08:26 Presenting the tray thus.
127 00:08:29 Tray?
128 00:08:30 I... I thought it was a cushion.
129 00:08:33 You will present the tray.
130 00:08:35 Excuse me...
131 00:08:36 Do I get a tray?
132 00:08:37 No, we've only got one tray.
133 00:08:39 Uh-huh. So, what do I do?
134 00:08:41 You'll just have to improvise.
135 00:08:42 Whatever you do, you must not look at Her Majesty.
136 00:08:45 You will bow again. Then moving backwards,
137 00:08:49 you will turn to your left. You will leave thus,
138 00:08:51 and you will process down the hall
139 00:08:54 to be met by Mr Bigge
140 00:08:57 who will walk you to the north wall
141 00:09:00 where you will stand till the end of the meal.
142 00:09:04 Would you like me to run through that again?
143 00:09:07 Mr Yorke, she's heading to Paddington.
144 00:09:09 Everybody out!
145 00:09:10 You two, stairs, now.
146 00:09:22 Jesus Christ!
147 00:09:23 Where are the... quenelles?
148 00:09:27 Oi, you two, out of it!
149 00:09:30 She's at the station, sir!
150 00:09:32 Jesus H. Christ, she's at the... station!
151 00:09:35 For God's sake, just wait where you were told.
152 00:09:38 Open the doors.
153 00:09:39 Quenelles!
154 00:09:40 Open the doors!
155 00:09:42 Open the doors!
156 00:09:44 Open the doors!
157 00:10:21 She's here.
158 00:10:24 Soup.
159 00:10:26 Soup!
160 00:10:27 Soup!
161 00:10:29 Soup!
162 00:10:31 Soup!
163 00:10:35 Soup!
164 00:11:33 Ah, thank heavens.
165 00:11:40 Soup, Your Majesty.
166 00:12:05 Must you take this one?
167 00:12:12 I haven't finished it.
168 00:12:13 I... I'm afraid you have to be quick.
169 00:12:15 They take it off you as soon as she's done.
170 00:12:17 One down, six to go.
171 00:12:19 The morue a huîtres and then the quenelle.
172 00:12:21 Yes, sir.
173 00:12:22 The morue a huîtres and then the quenelle.
174 00:12:23 This is bloody ridiculous.
175 00:12:25 Two months in a boat and I haven't even got a tray?
176 00:13:08 I have the mohar.
177 00:13:11 Is that it?
178 00:13:17 Your Majesty?
179 00:13:21 Your Majesty?
180 00:13:25 The uh, the profiteroles.
181 00:13:50 Is that it?
182 00:13:51 The profiteroles have gone.
183 00:13:52 Gentlemen, process. Turn. Bow. Present.
184 00:13:55 And absolutely no eye contact whatsoever.
185 00:14:42 A gift from the Indian Empire.
186 00:14:45 A mohar, Your Majesty.
187 00:14:47 A what?
188 00:14:49 A Mughal coin, Your Majesty
189 00:14:51 in honour of your service to the uh, subcontinent.
190 00:14:57 Have we finished?
191 00:14:59 We still have coffee, Your Majesty.
192 00:15:31 Eyes!
193 00:15:48 Good morning, Your Majesty.
194 00:15:50 Breakfast with the Royal Princes of Belgium.
195 00:15:52 eleven o'clock, an audience with the Sultan of Dubai
196 00:15:55 where Her Majesty will be presented with the Diamond of O'jay.
197 00:15:59 Garden party where Her Majesty will receive
198 00:16:02 Oscar II, King of Sweden and Norway, again.
199 00:16:05 And Queen Lili'uokalani.
200 00:16:08 Who on earth is she?
201 00:16:09 A monarch and sole Queen Regnant
202 00:16:12 of the Kingdom of Hawaii, Your Majesty.
203 00:16:14 She has composed a song for you on the ukulele.
204 00:16:18 But we have managed to put her off.
205 00:16:21 Then you will eat with the Prime Minister
206 00:16:23 7:00, the banquet in the state dining room.
207 00:16:28 And your movements, Your Majesty?
208 00:16:30 Nothing to speak of, Dr Reid.
209 00:16:32 Not even during the day?
210 00:16:35 We last moved on Sunday evening.
211 00:16:37 Oh, I feel the celebratory
212 00:16:39 dinners are taking their toll, Your Majesty.
213 00:16:42 Might I suggest some Benger's Mixture?
214 00:16:45 I refuse to eat Benger's. It's baby food.
215 00:16:48 But it is imperative, Your Majesty,
216 00:16:50 that the royal colon receives a little roughage.
217 00:16:54 Anything else?
218 00:16:56 Uh, was Her Majesty pleased with the mohar?
219 00:16:59 What?
220 00:17:01 The mohar, the ceremonial coin.
221 00:17:04 Uh, presented by the two Indian servants.
222 00:17:08 I thought the tall one was terribly handsome.
223 00:17:33 Stop!
224 00:17:42 Slight change of plan.
225 00:17:44 You must not talk to any of the guests.
226 00:17:47 Nod or bow but please
227 00:17:50 do not interact with anybody other than the serving staff.
228 00:17:54 I will come to you when the Queen is seated.
229 00:17:57 And you will present the royal pudding as requested.
230 00:18:02 Eh, excuse me, sir,
231 00:18:04 but what is it?
232 00:18:05 That is a jelly. A pudding made from the liquor of fruit.
233 00:18:09 How do they get it so stiff?
234 00:18:10 Gelatin. A byproduct of cow bone.
235 00:18:19 There's another famine in India.
236 00:18:22 More trouble in Ireland, I'm afraid.
237 00:18:25 Suez is a perennial nightmare.
238 00:18:27 And I'm afraid the Boers are at it again.
239 00:18:29 Is there any good news, Prime Minister?
240 00:18:31 We've decided to annex Zululand, Your Majesty.
241 00:18:34 Whatever for?
242 00:18:35 We really have to box in the Boers if we possibly can,
243 00:18:39 - Oh, Prime Minister, - Your Majesty.
244 00:18:40 you really are terribly depressing.
245 00:18:42 Yes.
246 00:18:43 Ah, sandwiches.
247 00:18:53 Splendid!
248 00:18:56 Jelly.
249 00:19:04 Splendid.
250 00:19:09 Jelly, Your Majesty.
251 00:19:35 I suddenly feel a great deal better.
252 00:19:38 What the hell were you thinking?!
253 00:19:40 You said present the jelly, sir.
254 00:19:42 I didn't say kiss the feet of the Empress of India!
255 00:19:45 I... I thought it would cheer her up.
256 00:19:47 Cheer her up?
257 00:19:48 They'll have me court-martialed!
258 00:19:50 What on earth is going on?
259 00:19:53 Her Majesty has requested
260 00:19:55 Mr Karim and Mr Baksh
261 00:19:59 be her personal footmen
262 00:20:02 for the rest of the Jubilee.
263 00:20:13 Ah, gentlemen. You can wait here by the door.
264 00:20:16 Her Majesty wants you to stand in here by the writing desk.
265 00:20:19 Go on.
266 00:20:27 Thank you.
267 00:20:31 You may go.
268 00:20:34 Thank you, Your Majesty.
269 00:20:39 Don't worry.
270 00:20:41 I'm not going to eat you.
271 00:20:46 Doctor Reid,
272 00:20:48 a very
273 00:20:51 successful
274 00:20:53 movement
275 00:20:57 at 8:00
276 00:21:00 this morning.
277 00:21:04 What the hell is going on in there?
278 00:21:14 Thank you, Mr...
279 00:21:16 Abdul.
280 00:21:18 Abdul Karim.
281 00:21:29 I am always writing.
282 00:21:33 In India, I am writing all day. Every day.
283 00:21:37 So, in India, you are not a servant?
284 00:21:40 No.
285 00:21:41 In India, I am writing in my very big book.
286 00:21:43 You're writing a book?
287 00:21:44 Yes.
288 00:21:45 I'm writing every name,
289 00:21:47 who they are, what they have done.
290 00:21:48 This is my life.
291 00:21:50 Every day, I'm writing, from morning to night.
292 00:21:53 And this is fiction?
293 00:21:55 No. It is the very truth.
294 00:21:58 I don't understand.
295 00:22:00 If you are an author, why are you here?
296 00:22:03 Presenting me with the m...
297 00:22:04 - with... - Mohar.
298 00:22:07 It is my humble privilege to server Her Majesty.
299 00:22:18 I was the one who chose your carpets.
300 00:22:21 Carpets?
301 00:22:23 Yes. The Viceroy asked Mr Tyler, sir, but actually, it was me.
302 00:22:27 You have to have a very good eye for the carpets.
303 00:22:31 Like... this is a very nice one
304 00:22:33 for example.
305 00:22:34 Very... very tight knots.
306 00:22:36 The art of carpets came to India from Persia
307 00:22:41 with the great Emperor Akbar.
308 00:22:44 The skill of a carpet
309 00:22:46 is to bring all the different kinds of threads together
310 00:22:50 and weave something we can all stand on.
311 00:22:54 You seem to know a great deal about it.
312 00:22:57 My family were carpet makers.
313 00:23:00 But now I write in the book.
314 00:23:03 Life is like a carpet.
315 00:23:05 We weave in and out to make a pattern.
316 00:23:11 That is a very beautiful image.
317 00:23:15 Look.
318 00:23:16 Here is the bird of freedom
319 00:23:18 caught forever in the design.
320 00:23:24 So, in India you are a poet?
321 00:23:28 No.
322 00:23:30 In India, I make a ledger of the prisoners.
323 00:23:35 We are all prisoners, Mr Karim.
324 00:23:38 Apparently, he's a poet.
325 00:24:03 These people are the exploiters of a quarter of all of mankind.
326 00:24:06 Do you really think they give a hoot about us?
327 00:24:10 Bloody well freeze to death at this rate.
328 00:24:12 And cut all the nicey-nicey
329 00:24:14 crap and let's get the hell out of here.
330 00:24:15 Agreed?
331 00:24:16 I promise.
332 00:24:18 Goodnight.
333 00:24:32 Will you stop doing that?!
334 00:24:42 You realise
335 00:24:43 this is the third day in a row.
336 00:24:51 So, Mr Abdul...
337 00:24:54 may I ask what part of India you're from?
338 00:24:58 I'm from Agra.
339 00:24:59 The Taj Mahal?
340 00:25:02 Have you ever been to the Taj Mahal?
341 00:25:03 No.
342 00:25:04 Oh, it is the most marvellous
343 00:25:06 building in the entire world, Your Majesty.
344 00:25:09 The Crown of Palaces.
345 00:25:11 It was built by Shah Jahan to remember his dead wife
346 00:25:15 who died at childbirth during their fourteenth child.
347 00:25:19 Goodness!
348 00:25:20 He was so upset with grief,
349 00:25:22 he brought the greatest architects from Persia, Afghanistan
350 00:25:27 to build the Taj Mahal.
351 00:25:29 It certainly sounds a handsome building.
352 00:25:32 I'd very much like to see it.
353 00:25:34 Oh, it is beautiful, Your Majesty!
354 00:25:35 It's all white marble.
355 00:25:38 All that beauty for the dead Queen.
356 00:25:41 Mmm. How romantic.
357 00:25:43 Shah Jahan also built the Red Fort,
358 00:25:45 the Gardens of Shalimar,
359 00:25:47 the Peacock Throne.
360 00:25:49 The Peacock Throne?
361 00:25:50 It is the most beautiful throne in all the world.
362 00:25:53 And inside the throne was the Koh-I-Noor.
363 00:25:56 But I have the Koh-I-Noor. I wear it as a brooch.
364 00:26:00 - Do you? - Yes.
365 00:26:02 It wasn't very shiny so Albert had it recut.
366 00:26:05 What happened to the Peacock Throne?
367 00:26:09 They smashed it up.
368 00:26:11 How awful.
369 00:26:12 They're always smashing things up.
370 00:26:14 The British soldiers have taken the jewels from the Taj Mahal.
371 00:26:17 British soldiers?
372 00:26:19 Oh, yes, after the Mutiny.
373 00:26:23 But, this is terrible.
374 00:26:25 What can they be talking about?
375 00:26:28 A servant and an Indian.
376 00:26:30 What on earth does she see in him?
377 00:26:33 Well, he is rather handsome.
378 00:26:39 What happened to Shah Jahan?
379 00:26:41 He was overthrown by his son and died in Agra Fort.
380 00:26:46 The wickedness of children.
381 00:26:48 They buried him in the Taj Mahal
382 00:26:50 with his wife, Mumtaz.
383 00:26:52 They also wrote an inscription:
384 00:26:54 "Here lies Shah Jahan
385 00:26:57 who left this world for the Banquet Hall of Eternity."
386 00:27:01 The Banquet Hall of Eternity.
387 00:27:03 I rather like that idea.
388 00:27:06 You seem very well-informed.
389 00:27:07 Oh, these are famous stories of Uttar Pradesh.
390 00:27:10 You should go there.
391 00:27:11 Oh, I can never go there. I am forbidden.
392 00:27:13 Forbidden?
393 00:27:15 They fear I would be assassinated.
394 00:27:16 So, you have never seen an India street?
395 00:27:20 - Or a stall of spices? - No.
396 00:27:22 Oh, oh, the spices.
397 00:27:25 Cumin, coriander, garam masala.
398 00:27:29 Garam mas... What is garam masala?
399 00:27:32 It is what you put into the sauce.
400 00:27:34 You have never tasted Indian food?
401 00:27:38 Dal? Rogan josh?
402 00:27:41 Biryani with mango chutney?
403 00:27:43 Mango chutney?
404 00:27:45 Chutney made out of mango.
405 00:27:47 What is mango?
406 00:27:49 Mango is the Queen of Fruit.
407 00:27:53 What does it taste like?
408 00:27:55 Like a... an orange...
409 00:27:58 and a peach.
410 00:28:04 Sir Henry,
411 00:28:05 I would like a mango.
412 00:28:07 A mango?
413 00:28:09 Yes, I would like to taste a mango.
414 00:28:10 That's impossible, Your Majesty. They only grow in India.
415 00:28:14 Well, I am Empress of India. So have one sent.
416 00:28:38 Here!
417 00:28:45 Your Majesty.
418 00:28:52 Thank you.
419 00:28:57 How do you like your new Scottish costumes?
420 00:28:59 They're very scratchy, Your Majesty.
421 00:29:02 Everything in Scotland is scratchy.
422 00:29:07 Sir Henry?
423 00:29:09 When does Bertie arrive?
424 00:29:10 Tomorrow, Your Majesty.
425 00:29:12 He's on his way from... Monte Carlo.
426 00:29:18 It's all right for her. She's upholstered.
427 00:29:37 Oh, God, I hate Scotland!
428 00:29:51 Ah! Ye must be the Hindoos!
429 00:29:54 Very nice to meet ye.
430 00:29:56 Ye must be the Hindoos.
431 00:29:59 Ye.
432 00:30:00 Must.
433 00:30:01 Be.
434 00:30:02 The.
435 00:30:03 Hin.
436 00:30:04 Doos.
437 00:30:09 More! More! More!
438 00:30:12 More!
439 00:30:19 I wish she'd bloody well go to bed.
440 00:30:43 Good morning, Your Majesty.
441 00:30:46 The boxes, Your Majesty.
442 00:30:48 Thank you.
443 00:30:49 And the uh, the blank journal Your Majesty requested.
444 00:30:58 You may go.
445 00:31:00 I'm perfectly capable of working through the boxes.
446 00:31:04 Abdul is very helpful with his blotter.
447 00:31:07 Oh, but these are parliamentary papers, Your Majesty.
448 00:31:09 I'm aware of that.
449 00:31:12 But Abdul is a servant.
450 00:31:13 He cannot assist with the boxes.
451 00:31:15 And I am the Queen of England.
452 00:31:18 I will have whatever help I require with the boxes.
453 00:31:30 And Sir Henry,
454 00:31:31 would you get some gloves for the Hindus?
455 00:31:34 They're suffering terribly from the cold.
456 00:31:45 He's helping her with the boxes.
457 00:31:48 I want you to teach me Indian.
458 00:31:51 Indian?
459 00:31:53 Hindu, whatever it is you speak.
460 00:31:56 Are you sure?
461 00:31:57 Of course, I'm sure.
462 00:31:59 But why would you like to learn Hindi, Your Majesty?
463 00:32:02 Well, I am Empress of India.
464 00:32:04 Look, I've ordered a book.
465 00:32:06 I want you to give me private lessons.
466 00:32:10 I can't teach you Hindi, Your Majesty.
467 00:32:12 Why ever not?
468 00:32:14 You are the Empress of India.
469 00:32:16 You should learn Urdu.
470 00:32:18 The language of the Mughals.
471 00:32:20 There are a thousand languages in India
472 00:32:22 but Urdu is the most noble.
473 00:32:26 May... in Hindi...
474 00:32:28 you write like this.
475 00:32:33 But in Urdu...
476 00:32:36 you write like this.
477 00:32:40 Mairn raini hoom.
478 00:32:42 I am the Queen.
479 00:32:44 I see.
480 00:32:49 Mairn.
481 00:32:50 May...
482 00:32:53 Raini.
483 00:32:54 Ranee... runny?
484 00:32:57 Hoom. Hoom.
485 00:32:59 Hooo.
486 00:33:00 - Hoom. - Hoom.
487 00:33:01 - Hmoo. - Hoom, hoom, hoom.
488 00:33:03 He's teaching her Hindu.
489 00:33:07 Is that allowed?
490 00:33:08 Ahem, I think you will find it is Urdu.
491 00:33:13 The Muslim version.
492 00:33:14 Oh, my goodness me!
493 00:33:16 Ranee...
494 00:33:17 hoom.
495 00:33:19 That's it!
496 00:33:21 You are the Queen.
497 00:33:22 The Queen is very wise.
498 00:33:29 Raini
499 00:33:31 kafi
500 00:33:34 akal man.
501 00:33:38 You see?
502 00:33:39 Now you write it down.
503 00:33:49 - Raini. - Raini.
504 00:33:52 Kafi.
505 00:34:01 She's writing in her journal
506 00:34:03 and she's speaking in Hindustani!
507 00:34:08 It's Urdu, actually.
508 00:34:10 The Muslim version.
509 00:34:20 Apani.
510 00:34:21 Knee.
511 00:34:22 Up, up, knee?
512 00:34:24 Knee?
513 00:34:25 Knee.
514 00:34:26 Up a knee, Apani!
515 00:34:27 Ap, ap, apani!
516 00:34:33 Yes! Yes!
517 00:34:44 Thank you, Abdul. You are an excellent teacher.
518 00:34:52 - Bertie! - Mother!
519 00:34:55 Were you spying on me?
520 00:34:56 Were you learning Urdu?
521 00:34:57 Yes, I was, as a matter of fact.
522 00:34:59 You think that's entirely appropriate?
523 00:35:01 I am Empress of India, what could be more appropriate?
524 00:35:03 But in front of the entire Household?
525 00:35:07 You're absolutely right.
526 00:35:10 I have no privacy here.
527 00:35:13 Sir Henry?
528 00:35:14 I would like to go with Abdul to Glassalt Shiel.
529 00:35:18 Glassalt Shiel?
530 00:35:19 Alone.
531 00:35:24 But I've only just got here!
532 00:36:17 Oh, to be by oneself
533 00:36:19 and live a simple rudimentary existence.
534 00:36:28 They don't understand anything.
535 00:36:29 These stupid aristocratic fools.
536 00:36:34 Toadying around, jockeying for position.
537 00:36:37 I've had it all my life.
538 00:36:40 Ha. They couldn't bear me bringing dear John Brown here.
539 00:36:46 I was happier here than anywhere in the entire world.
540 00:36:52 Oh, I miss him, Abdul.
541 00:36:57 And Albert.
542 00:37:02 It's thirty years now, and I think of him every day.
543 00:37:09 I'm so lonely.
544 00:37:14 Everyone I've really loved has died.
545 00:37:16 And I just go on and on.
546 00:37:29 Oh, Your Majesty.
547 00:37:36 It's an impossible position.
548 00:37:40 No one really knows what it's like to be Queen.
549 00:37:47 I'm hated by millions of people all over the world.
550 00:37:52 I have had nine children, all vain and jealous,
551 00:37:57 and at loggerheads with each other.
552 00:38:00 And Bertie's a complete embarrassment.
553 00:38:05 And look at me.
554 00:38:07 A fat, lame, impotent, silly old woman.
555 00:38:13 What is the point, Abdul?
556 00:38:18 What is the point?
557 00:38:23 Service.
558 00:38:25 Service?
559 00:38:27 I think we are not here to worry about ourselves.
560 00:38:31 We are here for a greater purpose.
561 00:38:33 In the Koran, it says,
562 00:38:35 we are here for the good of others.
563 00:38:38 The Koran?
564 00:38:39 Yes. I am a Hafiz. I know the Koran by heart.
565 00:38:43 By heart. Isn't it very long?
566 00:38:45 114 Surahs
567 00:38:46 containing 6,236 verses.
568 00:38:49 And you know every word?
569 00:38:50 Many Muslim people know the Koran.
570 00:38:54 I thought you were Hindu.
571 00:38:56 I am a Muslim, Your Majesty.
572 00:38:59 I learnt the Koran from my father.
573 00:39:01 He is my Munshi.
574 00:39:04 Munshi?
575 00:39:05 Yes, Munshi. My teacher.
576 00:39:10 Well, we would like you to be the Queen's Munshi.
577 00:39:21 But I'm only a servant, Your Majesty.
578 00:39:24 A servant cannot be a Munshi.
579 00:39:27 Well, you are a servant no longer.
580 00:39:30 You are my teacher.
581 00:39:32 You will teach me Urdu and the Koran,
582 00:39:34 and anything else you could think of.
583 00:39:40 So...
584 00:39:42 What the hell is a Munshi?
585 00:39:45 Well, apparently it's some sort of uh...
586 00:39:47 spiritual teacher, Your Royal Highness.
587 00:39:49 I mean, has she completely lost her mind?
588 00:39:51 She's the head of the Church of England, for God's sake.
589 00:39:53 What's the Archbishop of Canterbury going to say?
590 00:39:56 I say he's the brown John Brown.
591 00:39:58 Oh, my God.
592 00:40:02 Your Majesty.
593 00:40:03 Good evening, Bertie.
594 00:40:05 Mother.
595 00:40:14 Dinner is served.
596 00:40:17 Lady Churchill was absolutely scandalised.
597 00:40:20 Sitting next to a servant.
598 00:40:21 And a Hindoo to boot!
599 00:40:23 The Munshi is a Muslim scholar.
600 00:40:25 And knows the Koran off by heart
601 00:40:27 And for your information, is a servant no longer.
602 00:40:31 He is to be given a staff of his own.
603 00:40:34 What do you mean, a staff?
604 00:40:36 The little fat one.
605 00:40:37 Oh, this is absurd!
606 00:40:39 Letters, invitations to supper.
607 00:40:41 You're treating him like a member of the family.
608 00:40:43 No, I like Abdul.
609 00:40:45 Lady Churchill had better get used to the fact.
610 00:40:48 As the Munshi is coming on holiday with us
611 00:40:51 as a member of the Household.
612 00:40:53 You can't take a Muslim to Florence.
613 00:40:56 I can take a Muslim wherever I like.
614 00:41:01 Goodnight, Bertie.
615 00:41:05 Munshi?
616 00:41:07 Yes.
617 00:41:08 A spiritual advisor?
618 00:41:10 You haven't an idea in your head.
619 00:41:12 You promised to get us out of here.
620 00:41:13 And now we're going to bloody Florence.
621 00:41:15 You don't see what a privilege it is to see
622 00:41:17 the glories of Italy with all these wonderful people?
623 00:41:20 You complete bloody idiot.
624 00:41:21 Do you think they're just going to stand there
625 00:41:23 and let her promote a wog?
626 00:41:24 I did not come here to carry your bloody cases.
627 00:41:27 What are you complaining about?
628 00:41:29 We have our own carriage.
629 00:41:31 With a bathroom.
630 00:41:32 They've made a very nice bed for you on the floor.
631 00:41:37 Oh, I'm dying here.
632 00:41:38 I want to go home.
633 00:41:40 I'm getting sick of your negative attitude.
634 00:41:44 Life is a big adventure.
635 00:41:47 You just need to open up and enjoy it.
636 00:41:51 We're on holiday.
637 00:41:52 What... what on earth could possibly go wrong?
638 00:41:56 "Do Not Pull."
639 00:42:05 I would like to apologise for the emergency brakes,
640 00:42:08 Your Majesty.
641 00:42:10 And I hope you did not get injured.
642 00:42:12 Oh, Abdul, it was nothing.
643 00:42:15 It was a perfectly understandable mistake.
644 00:42:19 I'm so glad you're with us.
645 00:42:21 What a treat to show you Florence...
646 00:42:22 What's he doing here?
647 00:42:25 Abdul came to explain what happened earlier.
648 00:42:26 Mother, I really don't see why I have to share your bathroom.
649 00:42:29 I shared a bed with my mother until I became Queen.
650 00:42:32 I am 57 years old.
651 00:42:33 The Munshi's got his own bathroom.
652 00:42:35 - Yes, very fine bathroom... - Yes! Yes!
653 00:42:38 Goodnight, Ma-mah!
654 00:42:40 Goodnight, Mr Bertie.
655 00:42:41 Bertie, make sure you shut that door.
656 00:42:50 Abdul...
657 00:42:53 I have something for you.
658 00:42:55 To celebrate your first visit to Florence.
659 00:42:58 And for becoming my Munshi.
660 00:43:03 It is a locket.
661 00:43:07 With a picture of me.
662 00:43:14 How can I ever thank you, Your Majesty?
663 00:43:19 Keep me safe.
664 00:43:23 Forever.
665 00:43:26 Oh, Abdul.
666 00:43:29 You will love Florence.
667 00:43:32 Such wonderful views.
668 00:43:43 Isn't it glorious?
669 00:43:45 Albert loved it here.
670 00:43:47 He so admired the Medicis.
671 00:43:50 That they commissioned the greatest artists of the day.
672 00:43:53 In order to leave something astonishing behind.
673 00:43:59 In India also, we commissioned great artists.
674 00:44:02 Each emperor would bring the greatest craftsmen
675 00:44:05 to make great glories for their Durbar Room.
676 00:44:08 - Durbar Room? - Ah, yes.
677 00:44:11 Every emperor had a Durbar Room.
678 00:44:13 Full of the finest things known to man.
679 00:44:15 Well, I am the Empress of India.
680 00:44:17 I should have a Durbar Room.
681 00:44:19 That's a wonderful idea, Your Majesty.
682 00:44:21 But where would you put it?
683 00:44:24 Oh, the Isle of Wight, obviously.
684 00:44:26 Your Majesty, Signor Puccini has arrived.
685 00:44:29 # Deh! Non cessare #
686 00:44:34 # Deh, non cessar #
687 00:44:40 # Manon Lescaut Mi chiamo #
688 00:44:48 # Sussurro gentil, deh, non cessar Deh! Non cessare #
689 00:45:00 # Deh, non cessar #
690 00:45:11 Where did you say it was from, Mr Puccini?
691 00:45:14 From my new opera, Your Majesty.
692 00:45:16 Manon Lescaut.
693 00:45:18 About two lovers who are separated
694 00:45:21 by the class divide.
695 00:45:25 But they run away together.
696 00:45:27 Oh, it sounds marvellous.
697 00:45:29 But she is imprisoned for her love.
698 00:45:33 But they escape.
699 00:45:35 Bravo!
700 00:45:36 But finally she dies
701 00:45:39 and he is utterly bereft.
702 00:45:45 I'm not sure we do like the sound of it after all.
703 00:45:48 We prefer comic opera.
704 00:45:52 Do you know any Gilbert and Sullivan?
705 00:45:54 Perhaps Your Majesty will sing us a song?
706 00:45:58 Oh, no, no. I couldn't possibly.
707 00:46:00 Oh, of course, of course. Yes, Your Majesty.
708 00:46:04 - Yes, Your Majesty. - No, really.
709 00:46:06 Oh, well.
710 00:46:08 Maybe just one.
711 00:46:11 From Pinafore, Bertie?
712 00:46:14 Do I have to?
713 00:46:22 # I'm called Little Buttercup # 739
714 00:46:25 # Dear Little Buttercup #740
715 00:46:27 # Though I could never tell why #741
716 00:46:31 # But still I'm called Buttercup #742
717 00:46:34 # Poor little Buttercup #
718 00:46:36 # Sweet Little Buttercup I #744
719 00:46:40 # I've snuff and tobaccy #
720 00:46:44 # And excellent jacky #746
721 00:46:45 # Of... #748
722 00:46:55 Bellissimo!
723 00:46:57 I was taught by Mendelssohn, you know.
724 00:47:00 To the Queen!
725 00:47:01 - To the Queen! - The Queen!
726 00:47:03 To me.756
727 00:47:19 Oh, we shouldn't have had so much champagne.
728 00:47:25 May I?762
729 00:47:41 Oh, Abdul!
730 00:47:43 I haven't been as happy as this for years.
731 00:47:46 When I first came to England,
732 00:47:50 I was terrified of you.
733 00:47:53 But you're a very kind lady.
734 00:47:57 A very unique lady to me.
735 00:48:01 And you are very, very unique to me, Abdul.
736 00:48:06 I know that you are much older than me.
737 00:48:10 And...
738 00:48:12 you are the Queen of England.
739 00:48:14 And the Empress of India.
740 00:48:17 I am just a humble Munshi.
741 00:48:22 But I think
742 00:48:26 you are the most special person in my whole life.
743 00:48:31 Even more special than my wife.
744 00:48:37 Wife?
745 00:48:39 Yes.
746 00:48:42 You're married?
747 00:48:46 Of course.
748 00:48:48 Where is your wife?
749 00:48:52 In India.
750 00:48:54 Why didn't you tell me you were married?
751 00:48:58 I didn't think it mattered.
752 00:49:00 Well, of course it matters.
753 00:49:01 It changes everything.
754 00:49:04 You must return to India immediately.
755 00:49:09 And bring her back at once.
756 00:49:42 Bloody hell.
757 00:49:48 He's coming!
758 00:50:10 How terribly exciting!
759 00:50:35 It's Alibaba!
760 00:50:36 Look at the size of him.
761 00:50:38 Where'd he get those medals?
762 00:50:54 What the devil is she wearing?
763 00:50:56 You can't even see her face.
764 00:50:59 She looks rather splendid!
765 00:51:02 But you cannot actually see her, Your Majesty.
766 00:51:06 I think it's rather dignified.
767 00:51:09 Who the hell is that?
768 00:51:11 Get the bags, boy.
769 00:51:13 He's brought a serving boy.
770 00:51:19 Good God, another one! How many has he got in there?
771 00:51:25 Ruddy sod's a bigamist.
772 00:51:28 I do hope they like their little cottage.
773 00:51:35 Your Majesty.
774 00:51:36 I hope it's not inconvenient.
775 00:51:38 I just thought we'd pop round for tea.
776 00:51:47 This is my granddaughter, Sophia, Queen of Greece,
777 00:51:50 and this is the Grand Duchess Sophie of Saxe-Weimar-Eisenach,
778 00:51:54 and my daughter, Princess Helena Augusta Viktoria
779 00:51:58 of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Augustenburg.
780 00:52:02 This is my wife, Mrs Karim,
781 00:52:04 and this is my mother-in-law.
782 00:52:05 Your Majesty, Sophia, Queen of Greece,
783 00:52:08 Grand Duchess Sophie of Saxe-Weimar-Eisenach,
784 00:52:12 Princess Helena Augusta Viktoria
785 00:52:15 of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Augustenburg,
786 00:52:20 I would like to take this opportunity
787 00:52:23 on behalf of myself,
788 00:52:25 my wife, and my wife's mother
789 00:52:28 to thank Her Majesty
790 00:52:30 for accommodating us.
791 00:52:31 We are very grateful for her infinite kindness
792 00:52:34 and interior decoration.
793 00:52:37 The gift of hospitality and friendship to strangers
794 00:52:42 is of very high importance in our culture.
795 00:52:45 And so, we are honoured to repay it in our own small way.
796 00:52:49 What is ours is yours.
797 00:52:52 Quite literally.
798 00:52:53 Thanks be to Allah.
799 00:52:57 My dear Munshi,
800 00:52:59 we're so glad to have you here, my children.
801 00:53:01 We've missed you enormously.
802 00:53:04 I can't wait to show you the Durbar Room.
803 00:53:06 Children?
804 00:53:08 Ponsonby, you will have to do something about this.
805 00:53:11 My dear Munshi, I'm so glad you're back.
806 00:53:14 It's been dreadfully dull without you.
807 00:53:17 And I'm so glad to meet Mrs Karim.
808 00:53:23 There is just one thing
809 00:53:24 I've been curious about the whole afternoon.
810 00:53:27 What does she look like behind her veil?
811 00:53:30 You must see her.
812 00:53:32 Is that allowed?
813 00:53:33 You are a lady,
814 00:53:35 and the Empress of India.
815 00:53:37 Well, where the bloody hell is she going now?
816 00:53:47 Your Majesty.
817 00:54:18 You really are beautiful.
818 00:54:23 What on earth is a Durbar Room?
819 00:54:26 It's a celebration of all things Indian, Prime Minister.
820 00:54:28 Inspired by the Mughal Emperors.
821 00:54:31 But I don't understand.
822 00:54:32 Who gave her permission to build this in the first place?
823 00:54:35 Don't blame me. I was in Monte Carlo.
824 00:54:38 I'm afraid she's a law unto herself, Prime Minister.
825 00:54:40 For God's sake. She'll be wearing a burqa next.
826 00:54:43 Prime Minister.
827 00:54:45 You are late.
828 00:54:46 I am terribly sorry, Your Majesty.
829 00:54:48 Well, let us begin.
830 00:54:51 This as you can see is the Indian corridor.
831 00:54:56 The Durbar Room was designed by Mr Bhai Ram Singh.
832 00:55:03 The place is crawling with them.
833 00:55:05 We have commissioned a series of portraits of eminent Indians.
834 00:55:08 This...
835 00:55:09 Princess Gouramma.
836 00:55:12 And this, of course...
837 00:55:14 is the Munshi.
838 00:55:17 Honoured to meet you, Mr Prime Minister, sir.
839 00:55:19 A good likeness, don't you think?
840 00:55:22 I had asked him to take a few pounds off.
841 00:55:27 This is my wife, Mr Prime Minister, sir.
842 00:55:29 And that is my mother-in-law.
843 00:55:32 At least I think that's the right way round.
844 00:55:36 These are my servants, Mohammed and Ahmed.
845 00:55:41 And this is the Durbar Room.
846 00:55:44 What the hell is going on here, Ponsonby?
847 00:55:55 The carvings are from Uttar Pradesh.
848 00:55:58 And the carpet was woven in a jail in Agra.
849 00:56:02 Perfect, I think, for the tableaux.
850 00:56:05 But the piece de resistance
851 00:56:07 is the Peacock Throne.
852 00:56:10 An exact copy of the one at Agra.
853 00:56:16 And of course, the Koh-I-Noor.
854 00:56:17 Now I really do feel like the Empress of India.
855 00:56:22 I thought she was supposed to be dying.
856 00:56:24 It really is a remarkable addition to the house, Your Majesty.
857 00:56:28 We have Abdul to thank for the whole idea.
858 00:56:30 To celebrate the completion of the Durbar Room.
859 00:56:33 A little surprise, Your Majesty.
860 00:56:38 What is it?
861 00:56:39 A mango, Your Majesty.
862 00:56:43 One moment, Your Majesty.
863 00:56:50 Eh, it-it's... off.
864 00:56:56 Sir Henry.
865 00:56:58 This mango is off.
866 00:57:04 I'm... I'm terribly sorry, Your Majesty.
867 00:57:09 Take one of these whenever you see the Munshi.
868 00:57:14 I can't wait to show you the tableau, Prime Minister.
869 00:57:19 A line has definitively been crossed.
870 00:57:24 I can't go onstage like this.
871 00:57:26 I'm absolutely sick.
872 00:57:28 Oh, but you have to.
873 00:57:29 The Prime Minister will be watching.
874 00:57:31 This is a complete and utter disaster.
875 00:57:35 I don't know what you're talking about.
876 00:57:37 They've been waiting for this.
877 00:57:38 Who? Who have?
878 00:57:39 Ponsonby, Reid, the whole damn lot.
879 00:57:41 Don't you see?
880 00:57:42 She's been rubbing their noses in it. But now, it's going public.
881 00:57:44 I'm telling you, they're not going to stand for it.
882 00:57:47 They'll rise up and chop your bloody balls off.
883 00:57:49 Yeah, but I haven't done anything.
884 00:57:50 You stupid, bloody Uncle Tom. You can't win on their terms.
885 00:57:57 Mrs Munshi!
886 00:58:01 Bertie.
887 00:58:07 I've never been so humiliated in my entire life.
888 00:58:11 Actually, I'm rather enjoying it.
889 00:58:14 Beginners onstage, please.
890 00:58:18 A scene in ancient Persia.
891 00:58:26 I am the Sultan of Persia!
892 00:58:30 The King of all Kings.
893 00:58:48 Your Highness,
894 00:58:50 we bestow upon you
895 00:58:53 all the riches of the Orient.
896 00:59:03 You are now under my power.
897 00:59:18 Bravo! Bravo! The Munshi!
898 00:59:37 What the hell is this, Ponsonby?
899 00:59:39 Munshi mania?
900 00:59:41 I'm trying to keep an Empire together.
901 00:59:43 Looks like they're running the place.
902 00:59:45 I want this whole sodding mess knocked on the head.
903 00:59:48 Or you're finished.
904 00:59:50 Understood?
905 01:00:00 Oh, Sir Henry.
906 01:00:02 Tell us what exactly did
907 01:00:03 the Prime Minister said about the tableau.
908 01:00:07 Well uh, to be entirely frank, Your Majesty
909 01:00:11 he seemed to be a little perturbed.
910 01:00:13 Whatever for?
911 01:00:14 He must have liked the Munshi.
912 01:00:16 I think the Munshi was the problem, Your Majesty.
913 01:00:19 Really? I thought he was rather good.
914 01:00:21 I think he meant his position.
915 01:00:22 I think he was rather alarmed he had such a
916 01:00:25 prominent role in the household.
917 01:00:28 Well, of course Abdul has a prominent role in the household.
918 01:00:30 He is my Munshi.
919 01:00:31 But he's an Indian, Your Majesty.
920 01:00:34 I am aware of that.
921 01:00:36 Given current sensitivities in the subcontinent, Your Majesty.
922 01:00:39 The Prime Minister was concerned that it might be
923 01:00:42 sending the wrong message.
924 01:00:45 I should have thought it was a jolly good message.
925 01:00:49 But he's a Muslim, Your Majesty.
926 01:00:50 Precisely.
927 01:00:52 We owe them so much, do we not?
928 01:00:55 For their role in the Mutiny, for example.
929 01:00:59 The Mutiny, Your Majesty?
930 01:01:01 Yes, for the help they gave us with the Hindus.
931 01:01:06 Ah, but the Mutiny was a Muslim-led revolt, Your Majesty.
932 01:01:15 Are you sure?
933 01:01:16 Of course.
934 01:01:18 The Muslim soldiers revolted when it was rumoured
935 01:01:21 that their rifles were greased with pork fat.
936 01:01:28 Really?
937 01:01:29 The Grand Mufti, himself,
938 01:01:32 put out a fatwa against you personally, Your Majesty.
939 01:01:36 And Muslim soldiers murdered over 2,000 British personnel.
940 01:01:44 Who have you been talking to, Mother?
941 01:01:55 I have opened my heart to you.
942 01:01:57 I brought your family from India.
943 01:01:59 I promoted you in face of considerable opposition
944 01:02:02 and disquiet from the Household.
945 01:02:04 I even turned a blind eye when you failed to tell me
946 01:02:08 that you were married, which,
947 01:02:10 as you know, came as quite a surprise.
948 01:02:12 How could you let me humiliate myself
949 01:02:14 in front of the entire Household?
950 01:02:16 I am deeply sorry, Your Majesty.
951 01:02:18 You said the Hindus were behind the Mutiny.
952 01:02:22 I didn't say it was only the Hindus.
953 01:02:24 You told me categorically the Muslims were my friends.
954 01:02:27 We are your friends, Your Ma...
955 01:02:28 Abdul, there is a fatwa against me.
956 01:02:30 It was the Muslims who started the whole thing.
957 01:02:32 This is completely unacceptable!
958 01:02:38 Abdul, I thought you were
959 01:02:40 outstanding as the Sultan of Persia
960 01:02:43 but I'm afraid you have to go home.
961 01:02:54 You hurt my feelings very much indeed.
962 01:02:58 Don't you see the position you have put me in?
963 01:03:05 Thank you for everything you've done for me.
964 01:03:08 I will miss you a very great deal.
965 01:03:37 So.
966 01:03:38 We're going home?
967 01:04:09 Goodnight, Mother.
968 01:04:12 Goodnight.
969 01:05:28 Mrs Tuck.
970 01:05:30 Mrs Tuck!
971 01:05:44 Abdul.
972 01:05:47 You have been an utter fool.
973 01:05:49 And I am absolutely furious with you.
974 01:05:52 It it unconscionable that as my Munshi
975 01:05:54 you should have lied to me in any way.
976 01:05:57 But it would be also completely churlish of me
977 01:06:02 not to recognise the
978 01:06:04 considerable kindness and devotion you've shown.
979 01:06:11 I suppose in some way you thought you were protecting me.
980 01:06:15 But as the monarch, I realise
981 01:06:17 that nothing can really protect me.
982 01:06:22 And so in that light I have decided, although
983 01:06:25 I'm very disappointed,
984 01:06:29 that I want you to stay.
985 01:06:33 Your Gracious Majesty! Thank you.
986 01:06:36 Your Majesty!
987 01:06:37 Abdul,
988 01:06:39 there is something we must sort out.
989 01:06:44 I am deeply concerned about Mrs Karim.
990 01:06:47 Mrs Karim?
991 01:06:51 By now, one would be expected
992 01:06:52 to hear the pitter-patter of little Muslim feet
993 01:06:57 along the corridors of Osborne House.
994 01:07:02 I am concerned that everything is
995 01:07:05 functioning below sex.
996 01:07:12 I want you to examine Mrs Karim.
997 01:07:16 Examine Mrs Karim?
998 01:07:19 Just uh, make sure that everything's... working.
999 01:07:23 But Your Majesty, I...
1000 01:07:26 I thought the Munshi and his family were leaving us.
1001 01:07:29 Whatever gave you that impression?
1002 01:07:33 The Munshi and his family
1003 01:07:35 are integral parts of the Royal Household.
1004 01:07:39 As far as I'm concerned
1005 01:07:40 this is war. We're going to dig up
1006 01:07:43 every last bit of dirt this blaggard's ever done.
1007 01:07:45 I want someone in India raking through the family coals.
1008 01:07:48 Your son's out there, isn't he, Ponsonby?
1009 01:07:50 I couldn't possibly be
1010 01:07:51 involved in subterfuge, Your Royal Highness.
1011 01:07:54 Look, very soon I am going to be King.
1012 01:07:56 You will bloody well do as you are told!
1013 01:08:00 You'll leave no stone unturned.
1014 01:08:02 You will make a dossier
1015 01:08:03 and you will put it all down in black and white.
1016 01:08:04 And put an end to all this shit!
1017 01:08:07 For good.
1018 01:08:16 Well, I better go and examine Mrs Munshi.
1019 01:08:21 Oh, Dr Reid.
1020 01:08:23 Do come in.
1021 01:08:26 She'll have to uncover her face.
1022 01:08:29 That is impossible, sir.
1023 01:08:31 I need to see her tongue.
1024 01:08:42 Well?
1025 01:08:44 She's fine.
1026 01:08:55 Mr Mohammed.
1027 01:08:57 We have come here because we are not unaware
1028 01:09:00 of your predicament.
1029 01:09:02 That you arrived in the first place almost by accident
1030 01:09:05 and now find yourself stuck here
1031 01:09:07 through a bizarre set of circumstances
1032 01:09:09 none of your own making.
1033 01:09:12 Nor is it beneath our notice that
1034 01:09:14 the uh, inclement English weather
1035 01:09:16 has been the cause of a precipitous decline
1036 01:09:19 in your general health.
1037 01:09:22 What is more,
1038 01:09:25 you continue to suffer the vast indignity
1039 01:09:28 of being a servant to someone who is in many ways
1040 01:09:31 your inferior.
1041 01:09:33 So, it occurred to us that, um
1042 01:09:37 we might be able to offer you some help.
1043 01:09:43 Help?
1044 01:09:44 Travel home. Perhaps a modest pension.1070
1045 01:09:48 In return, of course, for um
1046 01:09:51 a little information.
1047 01:10:01 You want me to
1048 01:10:03 dish the dirty?
1049 01:10:05 In a manner of speaking.
1050 01:10:13 What would you like me to say?
1051 01:10:15 Anything really.
1052 01:10:19 Well, we need details.
1053 01:10:21 What he says.
1054 01:10:23 What he does.
1055 01:10:32 Abdul does what everyone else does.
1056 01:10:36 He uh,
1057 01:10:39 He looks for preferment.
1058 01:10:42 He curries favor.
1059 01:10:51 He crawls up the stinking greasy pole
1060 01:10:57 of the shitty British Empire.
1061 01:11:03 Making fools of all of you because
1062 01:11:06 he is a servant.
1063 01:11:10 An Indian, Muslim servant
1064 01:11:12 and you are all quaking in your boots because
1065 01:11:16 he's beating you at your own game.
1066 01:11:19 No one is quaking in their boots.
1067 01:11:22 We are the most powerful nation on Earth
1068 01:11:24 at the height of our influence.
1069 01:11:27 In that case,
1070 01:11:29 the only way is down.
1071 01:11:32 So stick your stupid British Empire
1072 01:11:36 up your stinky royal bottomhole, Mr Bertie Prince, sir.
1073 01:11:49 I hope he makes the whole damn thing come tumbling down.
1074 01:12:02 I will see to it that you die here.
1075 01:12:13 He didn't say anything.
1076 01:12:14 What do you mean, he didn't say anything?
1077 01:12:17 We did our best with him, but I...
1078 01:12:18 He spoke most intemperate...
1079 01:12:20 The man is an absolute shit.
1080 01:12:22 Dr Reid!
1081 01:12:25 I'm not a fool.
1082 01:12:27 I know there is some skulduggery afoot.
1083 01:12:29 Something's going on here.
1084 01:12:30 And I'm not going to stand for it.
1085 01:12:32 Dr Reid,
1086 01:12:33 I asked you to get to the bottom of Mrs Karim's fertility issues.
1087 01:12:37 It seems that nothing has been done.
1088 01:12:39 Oh, well, actually, Your Majesty,
1089 01:12:42 it was impossible to make a conclusive judgement
1090 01:12:46 for religious reasons.
1091 01:12:48 Did you examine the Munshi?
1092 01:12:49 No, Your Majesty.
1093 01:12:51 Well, examine the Munshi.
1094 01:12:53 Bertie.
1095 01:13:01 I did not do seven years at Edinburgh University
1096 01:13:04 to look at Indian dicks!
1097 01:13:10 Trousers.
1098 01:13:34 Eureka!
1099 01:13:36 He is riddled with the clap!
1100 01:13:40 Well, well.
1101 01:13:42 Mother, we have to see you.
1102 01:13:45 Alone.
1103 01:13:47 I'm in the middle of my Urdu lesson.
1104 01:13:49 Mother, we come with very important news
1105 01:13:52 of a highly personal matter.
1106 01:13:55 I have nothing to hide from Abdul.
1107 01:13:56 Please, Your Majesty.
1108 01:14:13 Your Majesty, um,
1109 01:14:15 I'm afraid our news concerns the Munshi, um
1110 01:14:20 We have proof beyond any doubt
1111 01:14:22 that Abdul Karim is a
1112 01:14:25 a low-born impostor.
1113 01:14:29 Your Majesty.
1114 01:14:33 The Munshi is from a noble family
1115 01:14:37 and a long line of teachers.
1116 01:14:39 No, I'm afraid he was a mere clerk in a common jail.
1117 01:14:44 My own son has sent word from India
1118 01:14:47 and has actually spoken to his immediate superior.
1119 01:14:51 His family are completely uneducated.
1120 01:14:54 His father is a lowly apothecary.
1121 01:14:58 The Munshi never even went to school, Mother.
1122 01:15:01 The man's a complete fraud.
1123 01:15:03 And here he is, overlooking the boxes.
1124 01:15:06 I'm afraid it's true, Your Majesty.
1125 01:15:08 Abdul and his father are completely common.
1126 01:15:13 We have prepared a dossier.
1127 01:15:16 You despicable toads!
1128 01:15:20 Racialists!
1129 01:15:22 Spying, dossier?
1130 01:15:24 Picking on a poor defenceless Indian.
1131 01:15:26 Of course he doesn't have qualifications.
1132 01:15:28 They do things completely differently out there.
1133 01:15:31 But don't you see, Ma-mah,
1134 01:15:32 he's using his position for his own gain.
1135 01:15:36 And how does that make him any different from any of you?
1136 01:15:40 How dare you look down on Abdul.
1137 01:15:43 How dare you defame his poor father.
1138 01:15:46 Bertie, I am ashamed that you are part of all this.
1139 01:15:50 Abdul is a loyal, wise, sympathetic human being.
1140 01:15:53 Who has raised himself on his own merits.
1141 01:15:57 Bring Abdul in here.
1142 01:16:00 Bring him in!
1143 01:16:05 Now I want you to repeat after me.
1144 01:16:08 I will be courteous to the Munshi.
1145 01:16:19 I will be courteous to the Munshi.
1146 01:16:23 You.
1147 01:16:26 I will be courteous to the Munshi.
1148 01:16:28 Bertie, all of you.
1149 01:16:29 I will be courteous to the Munshi.
1150 01:16:33 I will be courteous to the Munshi.
1151 01:16:37 It has become apparent
1152 01:16:39 that in order to get any respect from the Household
1153 01:16:43 one needs to be formally recognised.
1154 01:16:47 In which case, Abdul
1155 01:16:50 I intend to give you a knighthood in the next honours list.
1156 01:16:54 Enough! This is absurd.
1157 01:16:57 We cannot protect you from this any further.
1158 01:16:59 The man is riddled with gonorrhoea.
1159 01:17:04 Gonorrhoea?
1160 01:17:06 Yes, Your Majesty.
1161 01:17:15 Well, you are a doctor. Why don't you treat him?
1162 01:17:19 Now get out of my sight! All of you.
1163 01:17:29 Listen, you pox-ridden Indian shit!
1164 01:17:32 Why don't you bloody well leave her alone!
1165 01:17:35 Dr Reid! Be courteous!
1166 01:17:47 Knighted?!
1167 01:17:49 Surely there is some law against it.
1168 01:17:52 The man's a common Indian, for God's sake.
1169 01:17:53 She can't just do what she likes.
1170 01:17:55 That's right. We are the ones who make this palace work.
1171 01:17:59 And we are being ignored and exploited.
1172 01:18:02 We have to stand up to this wanton bullying.
1173 01:18:05 But she's the Queen.
1174 01:18:07 She's our sovereign.
1175 01:18:09 Her position is based entirely
1176 01:18:10 on the implicit contract she makes with us.
1177 01:18:14 If she does not drop this preposterous insult,
1178 01:18:17 we should all leave!
1179 01:18:19 Hear!
1180 01:18:21 Somebody has to tell her.
1181 01:18:26 We should make a deputation.
1182 01:18:31 I think you should go.
1183 01:18:33 You're the head of the Household.
1184 01:18:34 Well, no, I couldn't possibly go.
1185 01:18:36 It would bring the position into disrepute.
1186 01:18:39 Mrs Tuck.
1187 01:18:42 You know her very well, don't you?
1188 01:18:44 But I'm just her dresser.
1189 01:18:46 What about you, Miss Phipps?
1190 01:18:54 Off you go.
1191 01:19:09 And don't take no for an answer.
1192 01:19:23 Your Majesty.
1193 01:19:25 Out with it, girl.
1194 01:19:27 Can't you see I'm busy?
1195 01:19:30 There is something I must say that uh...
1196 01:19:36 What is the meaning of this? Stop shaking.
1197 01:19:40 I've come to ask you to reconsider the uh...
1198 01:19:46 the elevation of
1199 01:19:48 of Mr Karim.
1200 01:19:52 What did you say?
1201 01:19:57 I've come to ask you not to give Mr Karim
1202 01:19:59 a knighthood, Your Majesty.
1203 01:20:02 Why the devil not?
1204 01:20:05 The members of the Household
1205 01:20:07 demand that you abandon your plans, Your Majesty.
1206 01:20:11 Demand?
1207 01:20:14 We believe that it degrades the very concept of knighthood.
1208 01:20:19 He comes from a very low family, Your Majesty.
1209 01:20:23 And
1210 01:20:25 he is coloured.
1211 01:20:28 Get out of my sight.
1212 01:20:36 Did you not hear me?
1213 01:20:38 Your Majesty, I must inform you that if you refuse
1214 01:20:41 the entire Household will resign.
1215 01:20:45 Treason!
1216 01:20:48 Treason!
1217 01:20:54 Treason.
1218 01:21:21 Mummy. Enough is enough.
1219 01:21:26 You will drop this Munshi business forthwith.
1220 01:21:31 Do you hear me?!
1221 01:21:35 Did you really think the
1222 01:21:37 the Household would countenance such an insult?
1223 01:21:40 I will not be disobeyed.
1224 01:21:41 No. No.
1225 01:21:43 I have put up with you for over fifty years!
1226 01:21:46 You will drop this forthwith, or...
1227 01:21:49 - Or, or, or, Bertie? - Or...
1228 01:21:51 We will have you certified insane.
1229 01:21:58 And removed from office immediately.
1230 01:22:04 Here are the papers signed by Dr Reid.
1231 01:22:25 I'm eighty-one years of age.
1232 01:22:28 I've had nine children,
1233 01:22:30 and forty-two grandchildren,
1234 01:22:32 and have almost a billion citizens.
1235 01:22:38 I have rheumatism,
1236 01:22:41 a collapsed uterus,
1237 01:22:43 am morbidly obese,
1238 01:22:45 and deaf in one ear.
1239 01:22:51 I have known eleven prime ministers,
1240 01:22:54 and passed 2,347 pieces of legislation.
1241 01:23:01 I have been in office sixty-two years, 234 days.
1242 01:23:05 Thus I am the longest-serving monarch in world history.
1243 01:23:11 I'm responsible for five Households.
1244 01:23:15 And a staff of over three thousand.
1245 01:23:21 I am cantankerous,
1246 01:23:24 boring,
1247 01:23:26 greedy,
1248 01:23:27 fat,
1249 01:23:28 ill-tempered,
1250 01:23:30 at times selfish and myopic,
1251 01:23:32 both metaphorically and literally.
1252 01:23:36 I am, perhaps,
1253 01:23:37 disagreeably attached to power
1254 01:23:43 and should not have smashed
1255 01:23:44 the Emperor of Russia's egg.
1256 01:23:49 But I am anything but insane.
1257 01:23:56 If the Household wish to disobey me, so be it.
1258 01:24:01 Let them do it to my face.
1259 01:24:04 I will see everyone in the Durbar Room at once.
1260 01:24:31 Her Majesty, the Queen.
1261 01:24:45 I understand
1262 01:24:47 there is some concern over my desires on preferment.
1263 01:24:53 I understand feelings have run high
1264 01:24:56 and I understand you have decided to resign
1265 01:24:59 rather than withstand my decision.
1266 01:25:04 If any one of you
1267 01:25:07 wishes to tender their resignation
1268 01:25:10 it will be accepted
1269 01:25:12 without any unfortunate consequences.
1270 01:25:20 But at least have the decency to do it to my face!
1271 01:25:29 Anyone wishing to resign, please step forward.
1272 01:25:59 I would like to inform you that I have decided
1273 01:26:01 against awarding any knighthoods at this moment.
1274 01:26:11 Instead, you'll be delighted to know
1275 01:26:14 that I have decided
1276 01:26:16 to make the Munshi
1277 01:26:18 a Commander of the Royal Victorian Order
1278 01:26:22 as a special token of my personal esteem
1279 01:26:25 for his services to the Empire.
1280 01:26:31 That is all.
1281 01:26:55 Your Majesty! Your Majesty!
1282 01:26:57 Are you all right?
1283 01:27:01 Dr Reid!
1284 01:27:04 Dr Reid!
1285 01:27:05 Dr Reid!
1286 01:27:07 - Dr Reid, you must come quick! - Not now.
1287 01:27:08 Dr Reid! It's Mr Mohammed!
1288 01:27:11 Get that boy!
1289 01:27:11 Your Majesty, can you hear me?
1290 01:27:13 Your Majesty?
1291 01:28:03 I'm so sorry, Abdul.
1292 01:28:21 I think it's time you went home, Abdul.
1293 01:28:31 This is my home.
1294 01:28:32 I've been short-sighted and selfish.
1295 01:28:39 You are a young man.
1296 01:28:41 You have your whole life ahead of you.
1297 01:28:44 It's not safe here.
1298 01:28:45 Your Majesty...
1299 01:28:46 The vultures are already circling.
1300 01:28:50 How can I protect you if I'm not here?
1301 01:28:52 Your Majesty, you will reign for many years to come.
1302 01:28:56 No, Abdul.
1303 01:28:57 I'm sick.
1304 01:29:00 All these stupid ceremonies will kill me.
1305 01:29:05 You have been a very good friend.
1306 01:29:07 But you must leave me.
1307 01:29:11 I'm your servant.
1308 01:29:15 And as long as I shall live
1309 01:29:18 I shall be by your side
1310 01:29:21 every single day.
1311 01:29:23 Nothing.
1312 01:29:24 Nothing will stop me.
1313 01:29:26 Abdul, I am your Queen.
1314 01:29:28 Your Majesty, I am your Munshi.
1315 01:29:30 And I will never leave you.
1316 01:29:32 You are a fool.
1317 01:29:36 But I adore you.
1318 01:31:20 I think you should inform the Kaiser.
1319 01:31:38 Abdul...
1320 01:31:39 - Abdul... - It's me, Mummy.
1321 01:31:41 And your grandson, Wilhelm.
1322 01:31:43 Where is my Munshi?
1323 01:31:45 - The Kaiser. - I need my Munshi.
1324 01:31:48 Everything will be all right.
1325 01:31:50 I want my Munshi.
1326 01:32:03 Don't you dare upset her.
1327 01:32:40 I want to talk to the Munshi alone.
1328 01:32:44 I think perhaps Your Majesty...
1329 01:32:46 I said alone.
1330 01:33:11 When I was young
1331 01:33:14 I used to long for death.
1332 01:33:18 Now when there is nothing to live for
1333 01:33:24 I cling to life with every breath.
1334 01:33:30 I am scared, Abdul.
1335 01:33:33 Don't be scared.
1336 01:33:41 "Listen, little drop
1337 01:33:44 give yourself up without regret
1338 01:33:48 And in return you will gain the ocean
1339 01:33:52 Give yourself away
1340 01:33:54 And in the Great Sea you will be secure."
1341 01:34:00 Rumi.
1342 01:34:03 You are a teacher, Abdul.
1343 01:34:07 Everybody knows Rumi.
1344 01:34:12 Allah is the teacher.
1345 01:34:18 Love is the whole.
1346 01:34:21 We are only pieces.
1347 01:34:47 I keep thinking
1348 01:34:49 I'm falling.
1349 01:34:54 Fall.
1350 01:35:00 All will be well.
1351 01:35:06 You are about to go to a much safer place.
1352 01:35:14 To the Banquet Hall of Eternity.
1353 01:35:27 Yes.
1354 01:35:34 Goodbye,
1355 01:35:39 my Queen.
1356 01:35:45 Goodbye.
1357 01:35:49 Take care,
1358 01:35:53 my sweet son.
1359 01:36:11 Let her sleep.
1360 01:38:35 I grieve to say
1361 01:38:37 Her Majesty passed away at six-thirty precisely.
1362 01:38:41 Long live the King.
1363 01:40:29 Get out of the way!
1364 01:40:43 I want every last thing that's connected to her.
1365 01:40:48 Abdul!
1366 01:41:06 I want you out of here.
1367 01:41:10 Immediately.
1368 01:41:28 No! Your Majesty!
1369 01:43:23 Good morning, Your Majesty.
1370 01:43:25 How are you today?
