唯我独尊 Me Time(2022)(EN)Subtitles

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1 00:00:16 This is way too high. This is crazy.
2 00:00:18 All right, party people, let's get ready to do this!
3 00:00:22 Huck, I'm not gonna do it, man. I think I'm gonna skip this jump.
4 00:00:26 We gotta do this together. It's my birthday, man. It's the big two-nine.
5 00:00:30 Me and you have spent every birthday together since you were five.
6 00:00:32 It's always something crazy.
7 00:00:34 I just feel like this is too much. It's too much for me.
8 00:00:37 -This one's too much? -Yeah. For me. You do it.
9 00:00:40 I get it. You're getting married. You gotta be more responsible.
10 00:00:43 Yeah, we'll celebrate back at the resort.
11 00:00:45 Yeah.
12 00:00:46 I'll get us some champagne, a little cheese board.
13 00:00:48 -Yeah. Yeah! -Right?
14 00:00:49 -I'll see you later. -Okay.
15 00:00:51 All right, guys, go get 'em. I'm not gonna do it.
16 00:00:54 Hey!
17 00:00:56 Hey, I'm not gonna ju--
18 00:00:59 Oh my God!
19 00:01:03 Sonny, I'm coming.
20 00:01:06 -Remember your training, Sonny! I don't remember shit! I'm scared, man!
21 00:01:10 Open your arms, like a starfish.
22 00:01:12 Starfish can't fly! Huck, starfish are stupid!
23 00:01:15 Sonny, spread your wings.
24 00:01:22 Hey!
25 00:01:24 I'm doing it!
26 00:01:27 This is amazing, Huck.
27 00:01:28 I told you you could do it.
28 00:01:30 You know, you were right, man. You're always right.
29 00:01:33 I'm gonna be by your side for every birthday until the end of time.
30 00:01:36 Give me your hand, buddy.
31 00:01:38 You're my best friend.
32 00:01:40 I love you, Huck. I lo--
33 00:01:42 Oh my gosh.
34 00:01:44 They've got sharp teeth! They've got sharp teeth, Huck.
35 00:01:47 I think he tried to get to my neck! -I'm gonna pull your rip cord!
36 00:01:51 -Sonny, that was incredible. -Incredible, my ass.
37 00:01:53 I'm never letting you talk me into this stupid shit again.
38 00:02:51 It's so good. Like, really good. It's gonna get so many likes.
39 00:02:55 How do I keep topping myself? Every day, I just get better.
40 00:02:58 Look at this. Ava, look.
41 00:03:01 Cool, Daddy.
42 00:03:02 When you get to school, show your friends.
43 00:03:04 Can I have some more goji berries in my smoothie?
44 00:03:06 Absolutely, buddy.
45 00:03:08 Antioxidants, whatever you need. I got-- Shit!
46 00:03:12 Damn it! Hokey Pokey went to the bathroom in the kitchen again.
47 00:03:15 Guys, at this point, I'm getting a little frustrated 'cause I know you see it.
48 00:03:18 Come on!
49 00:03:20 -Honey, I'm sorry. Give me a kiss.
50 00:03:21 I gotta run. They're having an inspection at Armando's this morning.
51 00:03:27 -You don't need me to be there, right? -Yes.
52 00:03:30 Well, he's your client. He's not gonna care if I'm not there.
53 00:03:33 I know, but baby, I'll care.
54 00:03:35 -Okay. All right. -Okay? Okay, good.
55 00:03:36 -Okay. -Love it. Where is my iPad?
56 00:03:39 -Ah, bedside, under your book. Okay? Yeah. -Okay, thank you, thank you.
57 00:03:41 Hey, Dash, we talking about the talent show.
58 00:03:44 Talk to me. Did you practice your keyboard this morning?
59 00:03:47 I was about to, but I got sucked into watching Eddie Murphy's Raw.
60 00:03:55 -Hey, Dash, enough with the comedy, Dash.
61 00:03:58 Son, this talent show's a big deal. Remember, I'm the director this year.
62 00:04:01 The whole school is gonna be judging us. I need you focused, buddy.
63 00:04:07 Come on, man. I'm serious. I really need you on this, Dash.
64 00:04:10 You can't just let this float around like it's nothing, man. It's--
65 00:04:13 No, I'm not doing this. It's always a whole thing with Huck.
66 00:04:18 -Hey! -Uncle Huck.
67 00:04:20 Hey, Ava, Dash! God, I can't believe how big you guys got.
68 00:04:22 It's so good to see you. Is your dad around?
69 00:04:25 -Yes, he is. -He's right here.
70 00:04:26 -Sonny, baby! Here I am. What's up, Huck?
71 00:04:29 -What's going on? -Where are you, man?
72 00:04:31 -Dude, I'm in Tijuana. Tijuana?
73 00:04:34 We were driving down to Redondo. We missed the exit.
74 00:04:36 We were gonna go play mini golf. We just kept going all the way down to Mexico.
75 00:04:39 You gotta do that, right?
76 00:04:41 Huck, man, I would love to talk, but I can't, dude.
77 00:04:43 Gotta get the kids ready. About to get out the door.
78 00:04:45 Got a big day of volunteering at the school.
79 00:04:47 You remember when we went down to Mexico for my big two-three,
80 00:04:49 looking for the donkey show? Yeah, I'm with the kids, Huck.
81 00:04:52 -Dad, what's a donkey show? -Nothing.
82 00:04:54 -We found a donkey on the road. -Yeah.
83 00:04:56 Hand to God, biggest P-E-N-I-S I have ever seen.
84 00:05:01 -Okay. -What did he spell?
85 00:05:03 -He spelled "penis." -Hey, boy, what are you doing?
86 00:05:05 It's not a swear word.
87 00:05:06 Dash is right. It's not a swear word. It's a body part.
88 00:05:08 I know exactly what it is, Huck. I got one.
89 00:05:10 -Do I have one? -No, you don't.
90 00:05:13 In life, if you chose at some point you wanted one, you could get it.
91 00:05:17 -It's complicated. - Real quick, dude.
92 00:05:19 My birthday's coming up. It's the big four-four.
93 00:05:21 I wouldn't ask if it wasn't an important birthday.
94 00:05:23 You haven't been to my parties in forever.
95 00:05:25 Any chance you could make it? Yeah--
96 00:05:27 -I think that's a great idea. He needs some time to his self. Hi, Huck.
97 00:05:31 Hey, what's up, girl? Oh my God. You look amazing.
98 00:05:34 -We miss you. I miss you guys so much.
99 00:05:36 Huck, listen, I really wish I could. I don't know what Maya's talking about.
100 00:05:40 We're gonna be at her parents' for spring break. I can't make it.
101 00:05:43 Oh, gosh, that's so disappointing. I mean, I completely understand. Family first.
102 00:05:46 -It's too bad. -Yeah.
103 00:05:47 All right. Bye, Huck!
104 00:05:49 -Bye, Maya. All right, bye. Love you. Okay.
105 00:05:51 Um, Huck, dude, listen, I gotta jump, man.
106 00:05:54 So good talking to you. So, so good talking to you.
107 00:05:57 We'll catch up soon, okay? Hey, say goodbye, hang up.
108 00:06:00 All right, look, I'm gonna send you the deets just in case, if you can make it,
109 00:06:03 and a pic of the donkey's D-I-C-K.
110 00:06:05 -Pic of what? -It's unreal.
111 00:06:06 Don't send no pic of that donkey's dick--
112 00:06:08 -Shit! Goddamn!
113 00:06:11 -Same piece of poop got me again.
114 00:06:13 Ava, honey, this is getting crazy. You gotta start carrying your own bag.
115 00:06:16 I don't want to.
116 00:06:17 All right, noted, but that doesn't mean you don't have to.
117 00:06:20 Sometimes it'd be nice to help your father, okay?
118 00:06:23 Oh, Dad, Asher Geller's dad got a minivan with automatic doors. Whoo, it's sick.
119 00:06:28 Son, listen to me,
120 00:06:29 opening up the door with your hands builds character.
121 00:06:32 Lesson of the day. Let's go. In.
122 00:06:34 All right, guys, who's ready to go to school, huh?
123 00:06:38 -I am! -Yeah.
124 00:06:39 Son, match Ava's energy.
125 00:06:41 -I am! -I am!
126 00:06:42 Hey, hey, hey!
127 00:06:46 Sixty seconds or less. Let's go.
128 00:06:53 Morning, Crossing Guard Lenore.
129 00:06:54 Good morning, Mr. PTA President.
130 00:06:57 Let's go, guys. Time to go to school.
131 00:07:01 Gotta get it off the track.
132 00:07:03 -I love you. I love you too. -Love you, Dad.
133 00:07:05 -Bye, Daddy. -Bye!
134 00:07:06 It's our job to give our kids options.
135 00:07:09 Taste the hemp. Hemp. Not every kid even knows that hemp is available,
136 00:07:12 and that's not fair to them.
137 00:07:14 "It was just the right putter--"
138 00:07:16 So we're not listening? Are we not gonna listen today?
139 00:07:19 Sonny, I've got this. Have a seat. Thank you.
140 00:07:21 -All right.
141 00:07:22 Hey.
142 00:07:24 Okay. That's it. That's it.
143 00:07:35 It's okay, nothing wrong with that.
144 00:07:39 Pass.
145 00:07:53 Gotta be shitting me, Alan!
146 00:07:54 Hey! What the hell was that, Alan?
147 00:07:57 Oh, Sonny, some of us gotta get back to the office, my friend. Hey, guys.
148 00:08:00 Well, you know what? Some of us gotta get citations.
149 00:08:02 -Hmm? -Oh, no!
150 00:08:04 -Yeah. Yeah. -A citation?
151 00:08:05 So just wait here. Crossing Guard Lenore, did you see that?
152 00:08:08 Dad! That's the, uh, car with the, uh, automatic doors.
153 00:08:11 I get it. C'mon, let's go. Get in the car, guys.
154 00:08:16 Oh, so you got jokes, now?
155 00:08:17 What'd I tell you? All you gotta do is lift the door.
156 00:08:19 You lift it and pull it back. It's too easy. Let's go.
157 00:08:23 All right, Skyler, do me a favor, make sure the polenta doesn't stay
158 00:08:26 in the Instant Pot too long 'cause if it does, it'll get real gummy.
159 00:08:28 -Yeah. -Uh, oh. Yeah.
160 00:08:30 All right, and after dinner, Dash has to do 20 minutes on the piano.
161 00:08:34 -Okay? Yes. -Dad, you're killing me.
162 00:08:36 I'm already underwater with reading comp.
163 00:08:39 Ten thousand hours, buddy. You know that.
164 00:08:40 It's not about being good. It's about being great.
165 00:08:43 It's a little life lesson. It's called double G.
166 00:08:46 -Thank you so much, Skyler. -Have fun, Mr. F.
167 00:08:48 At mouth2mouth, when you buy a toothbrush,
168 00:08:51 we donate one to a person in need.
169 00:08:53 Our dream is that, through the simple act of brushing,
170 00:08:56 we will be reminded that we are all one world,
171 00:09:00 one people.
172 00:09:02 -Armando!
173 00:09:05 -To Armando. Congratulations. -Thank you so much.
174 00:09:07 Congratulations.
175 00:09:08 Thank you for being here. Thank you. Yeah.
176 00:09:11 Tell us more about your tortoise sanctuary.
177 00:09:18 -I see you, Dash!
178 00:09:21 -I see you. -Dad, I literally just peed my pants.
179 00:09:24 That doesn't take away the fact you're not doing what you're supposed to.
180 00:09:27 -Come on. -Our son.
181 00:09:28 You're watching Tiffany Haddish stand-up. You're not practicing your music.
182 00:09:31 Now I know you think you're a comedian,
183 00:09:33 but this talent show is all about your keyboard skills.
184 00:09:35 -I'm watching you. Bye. -So sweet.
185 00:09:38 Honey, listen, let it go. It's okay if he doesn't practice tonight.
186 00:09:41 -You know kids. -No, no, it's not okay.
187 00:09:43 How do you all know each other?
188 00:09:45 Well, I hired the great architect Norman Bogart
189 00:09:47 to design my house slash tortoise sanctuary in Topanga,
190 00:09:52 and I quickly realized this genius right here,
191 00:09:56 she was doing all the work.
192 00:09:57 Armando, come on.
193 00:09:59 You know it's true. You can't say it, I can.
194 00:10:02 Anyway, we started texting day and night, and here we are.
195 00:10:05 Two years later, I have a beautiful home and an even more beautiful friendship.
196 00:10:10 And this is Maya's husband, um, Sonny.
197 00:10:13 -Oh, wow, hi. -Oh, hi.
198 00:10:15 And what is it that you do, Sonny?
199 00:10:21 -He's a housewife. Oh.
200 00:10:23 English is not my first language. I don't know the terminology, but he stays at home.
201 00:10:26 -He's great with the kids. -It's a lot of work.
202 00:10:29 -It's a very contemporary relationship. -It is.
203 00:10:31 -How's the company doing, Raj? -It's doing incredibly well.
204 00:10:34 We're shipping culturally appropriate condoms
205 00:10:36 to North India to help lower the STD rates.
206 00:10:39 So the mission of the organization is to eradicate land mines.
207 00:10:41 -Well, that is just something-- -Yeah, I agree.
208 00:10:53 Actually, my girls and I spent the last year in Barcelona.
209 00:10:56 We opened four schools for the children in the countryside.
210 00:10:59 You speaking about that just made me think of my daughter, who's five now.
211 00:11:03 She's taking Mandarin.
212 00:11:04 We go to a Chinese restaurant.
213 00:11:06 She starts speaking Mandarin while we're at the restaurant,
214 00:11:08 and out of nowhere they bring out a secret menu.
215 00:11:11 I'm like, "Okay." Right?
216 00:11:15 I mean, you can only imagine, you know?
217 00:11:21 You know, you would think for $20 an hour that Skyler would clean the Instant Pot.
218 00:11:25 -Honey? -Hmm?
219 00:11:27 Where were you going with that whole Mandarin thing?
220 00:11:30 Ava doesn't speak Mandarin.
221 00:11:31 She's been taking Mandarin for, like, six months.
222 00:11:33 -Really? She has? -Yes.
223 00:11:37 It's "good morning."
224 00:11:39 I think it is. She says it every morning. And what do you mean, "Where was I going?"
225 00:11:43 I'm trying to get in on a conversation, Maya.
226 00:11:45 You got me at the table
227 00:11:48 with a bunch of world leaders. What am I supposed to talk about, my kindergarten blog?
228 00:11:50 Yeah-- Tell me what I'm supposed
229 00:11:52 to say to the condom man who's handing out rubbers in India?
230 00:11:55 That's a good thing. I don't even wanna get started on Armando.
231 00:11:57 -Don't. Yes. -Armando? What about Armando?
232 00:11:59 What do you mean, "What do I mean"? Oh, wait. Wait, wait. Babe, it's Huck.
233 00:12:03 Ignore it. Ignore it.
234 00:12:04 -Igno-- -Yes.
235 00:12:05 I don't wanna talk to Huck right now.
236 00:12:07 I don't wanna see a donkey's dick in Tijuana or discuss his birthday.
237 00:12:10 I understand, baby, but it's too bad you can't go.
238 00:12:12 I mean, come on, you guys were so close. And you know you used to have the best time together.
239 00:12:16 Yes, Maya, we did, and then I grew up.
240 00:12:20 That's what happens in life. I got married. I had kids.
241 00:12:22 I'm sorry that I don't wanna spend a weekend with Huck
242 00:12:24 celebrating his 44th birthday with a bunch of 22-year-olds.
243 00:12:27 -All right, fine. -Thank you.
244 00:12:29 -Let's get back to this Armando thing. -Babe, there's no Armando thing.
245 00:12:32 Why'd he have his hand on your shoulder for six seconds?
246 00:12:34 -Did you count? -It was six seconds. I counted.
247 00:12:37 Right above your collarbone.
248 00:12:38 And by the way, it bothered me because you have a high breast.
249 00:12:41 What? Because of your high breast,
250 00:12:43 if his hand got lower, he's grabbing titty.
251 00:12:45 It was my shoulder. -I think you're really overreacting.
252 00:12:48 -No! No, I'm not!
253 00:12:50 Think I don't see his games? I see right through him.
254 00:12:53 -We're in a chess match. -A chess match?
255 00:12:55 Yes. You can't see it because you're not a guy.
256 00:12:57 -Okay. All right. -Maya, I'm very serious.
257 00:13:01 It's a guy thing.
258 00:13:02 I still can't believe that I didn't know Ava was taking Mandarin.
259 00:13:06 I feel like the worst mom ever.
260 00:13:09 You know what you need? You just need some quality time with the kids.
261 00:13:12 Oh, look.
262 00:13:13 -What? -Look at this.
263 00:13:16 "Thank you for coming." See that?
264 00:13:18 Armando just sent that text. See?
265 00:13:25 -It actually was.
266 00:13:26 What is that?
267 00:13:32 I'm not gonna make a big deal out of it, but I think it's inappropriate.
268 00:13:42 Bridgerton? I can't wait to see it, either.
269 00:13:44 You know, I might have binged it with Armando on our flight to New York.
270 00:13:48 Are you kidding me right now?
271 00:13:49 We put it on our watch list. -I know. -That means we're watching it together.
272 00:13:53 You know what I watched instead of that? Storage Wars. Reruns.
273 00:13:56 -Wow. -I can't get that piece of my life back.
274 00:14:02 You know what?
275 00:14:05 I actually have an idea.
276 00:14:07 All right, I accept your apology.
277 00:14:09 No, listen, I want to tell you.
278 00:14:11 -What do you mean, tell me? Come on. -No, but I want to tell you what it is.
279 00:14:15 -Go back to the side. -Yeah. No, baby.
280 00:14:17 -I can last longer from the side. -That's good.
281 00:14:19 -Can I tell you something first? -All right, well, hurry up.
282 00:14:21 Okay, I'm thinking maybe I should take Dash and Ava
283 00:14:25 for spring break, but by myself.
284 00:14:27 -What? -Yeah, I need quality time with the kids.
285 00:14:32 You know, you could stay here and have a week to yourself.
286 00:14:35 You've never traveled with them without me.
287 00:14:37 I am their mother.
288 00:14:39 -I know. I get that. -Sonny? Hello? I will be fine.
289 00:14:41 I mean, come on. Just think about it.
290 00:14:48 -All right? -Yeah.
291 00:14:49 Now, I need to know what I'm doing. Are these pants staying down, or they coming up?
292 00:14:55 -Down. -Oh.
293 00:14:57 Sonny, what is there to think about?
294 00:14:59 A week without their family is literally every man's dream.
295 00:15:03 Every man's dream? Alan, you don't think moms need a break?
296 00:15:06 I'm working full-time at the real estate agency
297 00:15:08 and still expected to do everything with these kids.
298 00:15:11 Okay, first of all, Jill, you and Hank, you share custody, all right?
299 00:15:14 So it's not like you don't have time for yourself. You do.
300 00:15:16 No, I don't, 'cause this bitch talking about,
301 00:15:19 "Oh, I'm on a business trip every other weekend,"
302 00:15:21 when I know he's just doing CrossFit.
303 00:15:23 Okay? And now I only get one day a month to stack up all my Tinder dates.
304 00:15:27 And how's that going? I mean, I'm fucking,
305 00:15:30 but you know, I don't have time to develop anything meaningful.
306 00:15:33 -Right. Yeah, no connection. -Whoa!
307 00:15:34 Just getting smashed to pieces.
308 00:15:36 God, I wish Jeremiah would take the twins from me for the weekend.
309 00:15:39 I haven't been alone in my house in like a decade.
310 00:15:42 Hey, Stew.
311 00:15:44 Right, you know, talking about "me time,"
312 00:15:47 -there's value in it. -Big-time.
313 00:15:48 But is it really worth missing a family vacation?
314 00:15:51 You have no life outside of your kids.
315 00:15:52 -That's not true. -Yes, it is.
316 00:15:54 Sonny, ignore them. There's nothing wrong with being a devoted parent.
317 00:15:57 Bethany, come on, you're basically your children's butler.
318 00:16:00 Diane and I have our routine dialed in.
319 00:16:02 I'm the caregiver, and she's the breadwinner.
320 00:16:04 We both know our roles, so there's zero conflict.
321 00:16:07 It's called a system, which works, guys.
322 00:16:09 -Right? That's good for you guys. -A prison system, sounds like.
323 00:16:11 I like my life.
324 00:16:12 -Shut up, Bethany. You do not. -What is this, Sonny, no everythings?
325 00:16:16 What are you doing right now, Alan?
326 00:16:17 Are you really putting your hand on every bagel?
327 00:16:20 Trying to find the everythings.
328 00:16:25 yet you bring nothing.
329 00:16:26 Me, on the other hand,
330 00:16:27 I'm putting the presentation together. I'm putting this out.
331 00:16:30 'Cause this is all you focus on. You need to let Maya take the kids.
332 00:16:33 -Can you let it go? -You have to.
333 00:16:34 I'm worried you'll turn into Crossing Guard Lenore.
334 00:16:36 What are you talking about?
335 00:16:37 You're turning into Lenore whether you know it or not.
336 00:16:40 Okay, I just happen to love Crossing Guard Lenore.
337 00:16:43 -We all do. It's sad. -What's your point? Her kids went to this school.
338 00:16:45 She was a full-time mom,
339 00:16:46 director of the talent show, head of the PTA.
340 00:16:48 She had no life outside of this place.
341 00:16:50 Does that sound familiar to you?
342 00:16:53 Yeah, well, her husband leaves her, kids don't need her anymore,
343 00:16:57 and one day out of nowhere, she just shows up with the vest on.
344 00:17:01 Crossing guard's not even an official position, Sonny.
345 00:17:05 -It's not? -No, it's not.
346 00:17:09 I know.
347 00:17:13 -I'm becoming Crossing Guard Lenore. -Yeah.
348 00:17:16 -That's it, I'm staying home. -Really?
349 00:17:19 -Yeah, really. -Yes!
350 00:17:20 Okay, you're gonna need a Sherpa next week, so I am telling Rita
351 00:17:23 she's taking the kids to Legoland by herself.
352 00:17:25 Are you sure she's gonna go for that?
353 00:17:27 Are you kidding me? I rule the roost, pal. I'm not like you.
354 00:17:30 All right, so what's on the agenda? Let's do this.
355 00:17:34 -Yeah. -Some food.
356 00:17:36 Maybe find an underground barbecue spot.
357 00:17:37 Or we go to a gentleman's cabaret. -Absolutely not. No.
358 00:17:41 -Yes. Don't you wanna get smashed between something?
359 00:17:44 -No. Not that. -What are you talking about?
360 00:17:46 You don't go to titty bars, a strip club?
361 00:17:48 -No, I do not. And it-- -Why?
362 00:17:52 -It's not cheating. -Ah, it is.
363 00:17:54 No, it's harmless flirtation with a professional body worker.
364 00:17:57 -No. -Where do you masturbate?
365 00:17:59 -I'm sorry? -Where do you jerk off?
366 00:18:00 -No. Ah, good to see you. -She does too.
367 00:18:03 -You're out of line. -Tell me on three.
368 00:18:05 -I'm not telling you anything. -One, two, three.
369 00:18:06 -Shower. -I knew it.
370 00:18:08 -You didn't say it. You repeated it. -Yes, I did.
371 00:18:10 You're relegated to jerking off in a watery prison because your family is always home.
372 00:18:14 The freedom, Sonny, to have yourself in any room in your house,
373 00:18:17 that's why we fight wars.
374 00:18:19 Okay.
375 00:18:20 "I bought this house. I'm gonna jerk off in it!"
376 00:18:22 -Right? -Right!
377 00:18:23 You deserve that! Yeah, no, no. No.
378 00:18:24 -I do deserve it. Yes! -Yes, you do!
379 00:18:26 This is gonna be revolutionary, baby. We're gonna be real friends!
380 00:18:28 Whoa! Wait, what do you mean, "We're gonna be"? We are friends, dude.
381 00:18:32 -We're parent friends. -I've known you for seven years.
382 00:18:34 You're saved in my phone as "Dash's Dad."
383 00:18:36 -What do you mean? -I didn't know your name for three years.
384 00:18:38 When we become friends, I'll change it. Okay, water under the bridge,
385 00:18:41 you're right about everything. You got me pumped up!
386 00:18:44 -Let's go! -I get some me time.
387 00:18:45 -You time. -It's about me time!
388 00:18:47 -Me time! -Me time!
389 00:18:48 Mom, Mom, do you think Grandma and Grandpa have Wi-Fi?
390 00:18:51 Yes, I'm sure they do, baby. I'm sure. Just go get your stuff.
391 00:18:54 -Come on, we're gonna miss our flight. -Dash, forgot your keys.
392 00:18:56 Come on, Dad. We packed carry-ons, and now we're gonna have to wait at baggage claim?
393 00:19:00 Come on, son, now you know you got to nail this talent show.
394 00:19:02 All I'm asking for is 20 minutes a day. You got that.
395 00:19:05 I bet all the other kids are practicing during vacation. Here, Maya.
396 00:19:10 -Wait, what is this? -Ava's EpiPen.
397 00:19:12 -Ep-- Oh my G-- Yes.
398 00:19:14 -Oh God! How could I forget this? -What are you talking about?
399 00:19:17 There's one in the backpack. I just keep a spare one on me.
400 00:19:19 Okay, I think you were right. I don't think this is a good idea.
401 00:19:22 Stop it. You're overreacting. You're breathing all crazy.
402 00:19:26 Kids, tell your mother that you gonna be okay without me for a few days.
403 00:19:29 Well, honestly, I have concerns. I'm sorry, Mom, but Dad's the glue.
404 00:19:33 -Goddamn it. No. -Did you hear what he just--
405 00:19:38 What are you doing?
406 00:19:39 Oh, Dad, can you finish my Lego Death Star, please? No, I cannot finish the Death Star
407 00:19:42 'cause this week is about Daddy taking time for himself.
408 00:19:45 -It's me time. Gimme the bags. -Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow.
409 00:19:47 -I like this new Sonny. -What do you mean?
410 00:19:49 -I don't think I've ever heard you say no. -Bye, Mommy.
411 00:19:52 -Baby, I'm coming. -What do you mean? I say no all the time.
412 00:19:54 I'm the definition of the law around here. Murphy's Law, maybe.
413 00:19:58 Come on, babies, get in the car. Dash, scooch over. Lock your sister in.
414 00:20:02 -All right. I love you. -Hey, just have fun this week, okay?
415 00:20:05 -I am. I'm gonna have a good time. -Good. Good.
416 00:20:07 -And you should go to Huck's party. -No.
417 00:20:09 -Cut loose like you used to.
418 00:20:10 -No, I'm not going to Huck Dembo's party. I told you, our lives have nothing in common anymore.
419 00:20:15 I don't wanna talk about me. I wanna talk about you.
420 00:20:17 -Yes. -No work.
421 00:20:18 No, I'm gonna get that quality mama time in.
422 00:20:20 -You know it, I promise. -Good. All right, I love you.
423 00:20:22 -Go. All right, bye. -I'm gonna miss you. Yeah.
424 00:20:25 -Be safe. I love you guys. -Bye, Daddy!
425 00:20:27 -Y'all got your seatbelts on? -Death Star.
426 00:20:29 Dash, put your head in the window before a car take your head off.
427 00:20:31 -Get in the car. Love you all! -Bye, honey.
428 00:20:52 Let's get it, Seal.
429 00:21:23 Excuse me? I need some documents notarized.
430 00:21:26 Let me take a look.
431 00:21:28 What if we did a notary? Private.
432 00:21:32 -Hi, Daddy. -Oh my God!
433 00:21:33 Don't come in here, Ava.
434 00:21:35 -Oh shit! -Close your eyes.
435 00:21:37 Come on. Don't come in here.
436 00:21:44 I'm sorry. She forgot her fluffy. -Let me see. -Go ahead and finish. We're sorry.
437 00:21:49 - This is Alan.
438 00:21:51 -Al Capone!
439 00:21:55 -Oh, Sonny, I forgot. -Huh?
440 00:21:58 -Something came up. I'm sorry-- -Wait, where you at right now?
441 00:22:01 -I'm at Legoland, Son. -Legoland?
442 00:22:04 We were talking about becoming real friends this week. What happened?
443 00:22:07 What if you call Combover Stew?
444 00:22:11 Forget it. I'll be fine. -I got this.
445 00:22:14 -You definitely got this! You can climb that mountain by yourself.
446 00:22:16 Climb two mountains.
447 00:22:17 Go to that strip club and bury your face in a big set of--
448 00:22:20 Hey, get off the bed! What did I say, guys?
449 00:22:23 Fuck you, Dad.
450 00:22:28 -Hey. -Hey, reservation?
451 00:22:30 No, uh, I'm a single.
452 00:22:32 I got a group going out now.
453 00:22:34 -Okay, where at? -Those three over there.
454 00:22:37 Hi.
455 00:22:40 Come on over.
456 00:22:41 I'm gonna go with the smoked brisket.
457 00:22:43 That pork sausage? Let's try that.
458 00:22:45 It says you got the ribs?
459 00:22:46 They in the back. Yeah,
460 00:22:48 you hiding them ribs.
461 00:22:49 Gimme two more of those.
462 00:22:50 Lemme see what it look like when you close it up?
463 00:22:52 Throw one more on there.
464 00:22:54 Yes!
465 00:22:57 I wanna go in here.
466 00:22:58 I cut a coupon out of LA Weekly. It says five dollars off entry.
467 00:23:08 No, I'm not worried.
468 00:23:10 -You're good. -Okay.
469 00:23:12 Why don't we make it a little interesting?
470 00:23:13 Let's go ten strokes a side, five bucks a hole?
471 00:23:17 -Yeah. -If you say so.
472 00:23:20 Uh-oh. That's a little short.
473 00:23:22 -Yeah. -A little short. I'll take it though.
474 00:23:25 -Sure. Yes. -Yeah. Go again--
475 00:23:30 -Good shot, Ginny. -Jesus Christ!
476 00:23:31 I done had brisket, ribs, pork.
477 00:23:33 I don't even know what this thing was.
478 00:23:36 Hopefully, it was an animal. It may not be.
479 00:23:40 They could've put human butt in here. I wouldn't know the difference.
480 00:23:46 Oh my God. You all-- You all right?
481 00:24:01 Harmless flirtation.
482 00:24:03 Mr. Fisher, I thought that was you.
483 00:24:06 It's Skyler.
484 00:24:07 The babysitter?
485 00:24:10 I got hustled. I know I did.
486 00:24:12 -You gave ten shots a side. -I know what I gave you.
487 00:24:15 -Gender profiling. -Absolutely not.
488 00:24:17 And ageism and racism.
489 00:24:19 -No! -Yeah.
490 00:24:20 You good, bro?
491 00:24:21 Yeah. Yeah, I'm all right.
492 00:24:25 -Ew! Ew! Oh God!
493 00:24:27 Whoo! I apologize. Hey--
494 00:24:29 I'm still gonna do a review on Yelp.
495 00:24:31 Let you guys know it was--
496 00:24:42 Hey.
497 00:24:43 How was your trip?
498 00:24:47 -Really? -Yeah.
499 00:24:49 Dash, you know, he watched Bill Burr's new special for, like, the 100th time.
500 00:24:53 So what now, you calling me 'cause the kids wanted a little FaceTime bedtime story?
501 00:24:57 Uh, they're actually already asleep. -Oh.
502 00:24:59 Babe, are you in Dash's room?
503 00:25:03 Am I? Yeah, that's right. I forgot I was. Yep.
504 00:25:06 Come on. Don't tell me that you're in there working on the Death Star.
505 00:25:09 -You're supposed to be having fun. -It's just for a second.
506 00:25:13 It relaxes me, Maya.
507 00:25:14 Okay. Well, I love you.
508 00:25:16 I love you too.
509 00:25:17 -Okay, baby. Bye. -All right. Bye-bye.
510 00:25:27 Enough of this, please.
511 00:25:31 I'm not gonna do nothing fun.
512 00:25:33 Whatever.
513 00:25:50 I got it.
514 00:25:59 Hello, friend. -Do you know where Huck is? Hello, how are you?
515 00:26:03 Oh, wow, look at this boat.
516 00:26:05 Huck can do it, man.
517 00:26:08 -Sonny, baby! -Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
518 00:26:11 -There he is. -You made it. You made it.
519 00:26:13 -Yes, man. Happy birthday. -Oh! Oh, thank you, brother.
520 00:26:16 Dude, look at you. You look good. Hey-- Whoa, come on, man.
521 00:26:19 You don't have no clothes on.
522 00:26:21 Dude, I'm stoked for this week.
523 00:26:22 When I got here, I just felt compelled to strip and dive in.
524 00:26:25 The rest of these maniacs? They were right behind me.
525 00:26:27 -Oh, okay. -Hey, guys!
526 00:26:30 Say hi to my oldest friend in the world, Sonny Fisher!
527 00:26:35 Hi.
528 00:26:40 -Wanna do a little skinny-dip? -No.
529 00:26:42 Come on, we'll go tandem, like with the wing suits.
530 00:26:43 No! No, no, no, no. No. I don't want to do it.
531 00:26:45 -All right. All right. Cool. -Yeah. Yeah.
532 00:26:47 Dude, it is so good to see you. I can't believe how long it's been.
533 00:26:50 -Man. How-- It's been-- -It's been three years.
534 00:26:53 -Yeah, it has been long. -Yeah.
535 00:26:56 -No, I'm good. -Okay.
536 00:26:57 -I'm so glad you made it. -All right. Dude, of course.
537 00:27:03 And I told her, I was like, "Go, I need a break." Right?
538 00:27:05 -Daddy needs some solo time. -Awesome.
539 00:27:08 -"Please, do you." So-- -We're gonna do us.
540 00:27:11 -Hey, -Like the old days?
541 00:27:15 -I'm ready. Yeah. Look at that, there she is.
542 00:27:18 What's that?
543 00:27:23 Why don't you grab a burrito, I'm gonna get changed, okay?
544 00:27:27 Yeah. Looks pretty good, huh?
545 00:27:32 -What boat? -Huh.
546 00:27:34 Hello, party people!
547 00:27:39 All right, as many of you know,
548 00:27:41 I believe that matching outfits are one of the keys to any successful soiree.
549 00:27:46 -Always. -You like the suit?
550 00:27:48 -Yes! -I got suits for everybody.
551 00:27:50 Go find the garment bags. They're labeled with your names.
552 00:28:01 -Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. -What's up?
553 00:28:05 Think I'm gonna go ahead and get a shot of "to-kill-ya."
554 00:28:09 -I don't know what that is. -Tequila.
555 00:28:11 -But I'm saying "to-kill-ya." Right? -Tequila.
556 00:28:15 -Yeah, yeah. -Now, that I got.
557 00:28:16 Hey, man. What's going on, bro?
558 00:28:18 -I'm Kabir. This is, uh, my partner Trina. -Hey, how do you know Huck?
559 00:28:22 Our desks are right next to each other at WeWork.
560 00:28:24 All right, that's cool.
561 00:28:29 No, I haven't been there for a couple of years.
562 00:28:31 They were dinosaurs.
563 00:28:33 I opened up my own shop. We focus on brand synergy,
564 00:28:35 vertical integration, next-level stuff.
565 00:28:39 Cool.
566 00:28:41 Eh, Sonny. It's Sonny, no?
567 00:28:42 Huck told us that you are a stay-at-home parent.
568 00:28:45 -Yeah. Yes! -This is very inspiring to us.
569 00:28:47 Oh, okay. Yeah.
570 00:28:51 I was doing data entry for Citibank while I was pursuing a music career,
571 00:28:55 but after we had our second child,
572 00:28:57 I said, "It's probably best for me to stay at home, take care of the kids rather than pay for childcare."
573 00:29:01 -What a real man would do. -Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.
574 00:29:03 Hey, what do you play?
575 00:29:04 Ah, keyboard.
576 00:29:05 They call me Dr. Silk.
577 00:29:07 I'm a singer-songwriter, and adult contemporary, that's--
578 00:29:09 -Don't be modest. -I love it.
579 00:29:11 -Sonny put out an album.
580 00:29:13 It's fantastic.
581 00:29:14 Wow!
582 00:29:16 I'm telling you, another level.
583 00:29:18 Are you on Spotify?
584 00:29:20 -No. -Oh, so you're on SoundCloud?
585 00:29:23 -No. -So how would we hear it?
586 00:29:24 -I guess that's-- -Yeah.
587 00:29:26 I'm on, uh, CDs.
588 00:29:27 I don't normally do it, but I'll send you all some.
589 00:29:29 -I don't have anything to play it on. -I have a player. I have a player.
590 00:29:32 My dad has something.
591 00:29:34 A toast to my brother, Sonny. Best friend in the whole world.
592 00:29:42 Hey, Dash.
593 00:29:44 Dash, pay attention now.
594 00:29:45 You put your forefinger on the line then pull to create a slipknot.
595 00:29:50 -Will you just do it for me? -Hell, no!
596 00:29:52 Dad!
597 00:29:53 Dash, go practice piano. You know your father's gonna ask.
598 00:29:57 But Dad's not here, Mom.
599 00:29:58 It doesn't matter.
600 00:29:59 You know how important this talent show is to him.
601 00:30:02 -Ow! -Maya, you're pulling the baby's hair.
602 00:30:05 Everybody is not good at everything, you know?
603 00:30:08 -Okay, Mom, give me a chance. -What?
604 00:30:11 -Guys, a seaplane just landed by our dock. -Oh!
605 00:30:15 A seaplane? Who is it?
606 00:30:17 Look.
607 00:30:19 Hey, Maya!
608 00:30:20 -Hey, Maya, it's me, Armando. -Oh.
609 00:30:23 -Armando. -Hi.
610 00:30:25 What are you doing here?
611 00:30:27 I know, right? Surprise.
612 00:30:30 Maya kept telling me how amazing this part of the world was,
613 00:30:35 Uh-huh.
614 00:30:39 -Oh. -Wait, what?
615 00:30:41 -Are you serious? -Yes.
616 00:30:42 The thing is, I really think this is the project you've been waiting for.
617 00:30:46 -You can finally start your own firm. -Wait, what?
618 00:30:49 Could I steal you for this afternoon?
619 00:30:51 I want your eyes on this property.
620 00:30:57 -Of course. -Yeah.
621 00:30:59 You're right. I don't wanna get in the way of your family time. I'm sorry.
622 00:31:10 Hey, Dash? Yes?
623 00:31:11 You wanna learn how to fly a seaplane, buddy?
624 00:31:14 Heck, yeah!
625 00:31:16 -Oh, there you go.
626 00:31:24 Hey, people, listen up.
627 00:31:26 I did a lot of thinking about how to celebrate my 44th,
628 00:31:29 and because of the great pan-d,
629 00:31:31 we spent too long without the simple joy of being together.
630 00:31:35 -Yes. -So, this week isn't about me.
631 00:31:37 -It's about us. -Okay.
632 00:31:39 -Yes. -Huh?
633 00:31:41 We're going back to basics, right here,
634 00:31:47 -Oh. Oh! -The majestic California desert!
635 00:31:54 -Yeah!
636 00:31:55 Welcome to Huckchella. It's our own Burning Man.
637 00:31:58 I designed it myself. The effigy is me.
638 00:32:01 What the fuck is this?
639 00:32:04 -Ready, Geno? -Yep.
640 00:32:05 -Three, two-- -All right. Wait!
641 00:32:07 Sonny. Where's Sonny?
642 00:32:08 Sonny, Sonny, get up in the front, man. Come on.
643 00:32:12 -I don't need to do it. -This is the photo.
644 00:32:14 -I don't have to do it. I don't have to-- -Take him. Get him.
645 00:32:22 One, two, three, yeah!
646 00:32:25 -You got it? -Got it.
647 00:32:30 -Ha! That made the photo. That made the-- -Yeah.
648 00:32:32 All right, guys, get your stuff, claim your yurt. Ladies get first pick, guys.
649 00:32:38 -Geno, see you in five days. Drive safe. -Five days.
650 00:32:41 What do you mean, five days? Huck, we're in the middle of nowhere.
651 00:32:43 -We're getting primal this week. -What does that mean?
652 00:32:45 We're stripping it down. Promise you, this is gonna be the best week of your life.
653 00:32:49 -I under-- -Claim a sleeping mat. We're six to a yurt.
654 00:32:51 -Six to a what? -I'm so glad you're here.
655 00:32:53 -Hey, wait a second. -This is the best. I'm so happy.
656 00:32:56 -Check it out. Do you like my statue? -Huck, hold on.
657 00:33:05 No service. Oh, you got to be kidding me.
658 00:33:27 It's a jack-pack with a strap.
659 00:33:30 -Oh shit. That's nice. -Oh.
660 00:33:31 It's catching on.
661 00:33:33 Whoa, there he is!
662 00:33:35 -I love that outfit. I didn't know what the vibe would be,
663 00:33:38 so I kind of got more of a resort dress code going on, man.
664 00:33:42 -But, you know, I'll make it work. -Oh, you're making it work. You always do.
665 00:33:44 All right, beautiful people, let's get organized.
666 00:33:47 I know it's a little early, but we gotta turn our attention to dinner.
667 00:33:52 Oh, now we're talking. What're you doing? You doing how you used to do?
668 00:33:55 Probably got some steaks, some American Wagyu coming? What you got?
669 00:33:58 Nope. We're gonna forage for our own food. Pull the tarp.
670 00:34:02 Hey, I'm a beekeeper by trade, but I forage in my downtime.
671 00:34:06 So, if anybody got any questions, just hit me up.
672 00:34:08 Okay, I got the first question, which is, "Why are you guys messing with me?" Huh?
673 00:34:13 Stop it, man. I saw the YETI coolers. I know there's food in there, Huck.
674 00:34:16 Oh, we have some apps, but the main course is up to us.
675 00:34:19 Grab a machete and a basket, and let's get our forage on!
676 00:34:22 -Let's get our forage on.
677 00:34:23 We gotta hunt for our food? Huck, real quick, uh, excuse me.
678 00:34:28 -What? -Gotta go to the bathroom.
679 00:34:29 -Where the porta-potties at? -Oh, right there.
680 00:34:32 -That's a bucket. -They're Luggable Loos. They work great.
681 00:34:36 -They're luggable what? -A Luggable Loo.
682 00:34:37 Dude, you just grab it, pump, dump, discard it on the side of the road, whatever.
683 00:34:41 I gotta get the sweat lodge fired up, all right?
684 00:34:43 Good luck out there, all right? Now watch out for the rattlesnakes.
685 00:34:46 -What? -They're edible, but they're dangerous.
686 00:34:55 Ridiculous.
687 00:35:08 That's very mature.
688 00:35:10 Putting a penis on a Lego. Good, okay.
689 00:35:17 See what you think now.
690 00:35:21 Check out my 'gram, bitches.
691 00:35:27 Okay. Goddamn it. Oh God.
692 00:35:32 I gotta go.
693 00:35:46 -What the-- Hold on now.
694 00:35:48 -What is this?
695 00:35:51 Yo, stop. No, stop. That tickles.
696 00:35:54 You got some claws on you, huh? You still cute though.
697 00:35:58 Cute little--
698 00:35:59 Whoa, hey. Hey, buddy.
699 00:36:05 -You're a little scary kitty, huh? Look at you.
700 00:36:12 Oh my God.
701 00:36:19 Here you go. This what you want? Is this what you want?
702 00:36:28 -Fuck this!
703 00:36:29 -Help!
704 00:36:33 -Help! Help! Lion!
705 00:36:35 -Salad fork, regular fork. -It's a lot of plates.
706 00:36:38 -Knife facing in. -Help!
707 00:36:39 -Okay. -It's a lion!
708 00:36:41 What's going on?
709 00:36:44 Hey, I got a lion on my ass!
710 00:36:45 These shoes ain't shit. Shit!
711 00:36:48 -Is that Sonny up there? -Help! Huck!
712 00:36:50 He gonna eat me! I got a lion trying to eat me!
713 00:36:53 -He's getting chased by a mountain lion.
714 00:36:55 I'm scared! I'm scared!
715 00:36:58 -Sonny, show him another gear. -Run, Sonny!
716 00:37:00 -Get out of there! -Hey! Shit! I got a lion on my ass!
717 00:37:03 -Help! Help!
718 00:37:07 He on my ass! Get away from me!
719 00:37:09 -Oh my God. Oh!
720 00:37:13 -Oh my God! Oh my God!
721 00:37:21 -No, Sonny! -Sonny!
722 00:37:23 Oh, oh God. Oh my God.
723 00:37:30 -What are you looking at?
724 00:37:34 Come on, bitch.
725 00:37:38 -Got it.
726 00:37:45 -To the jugular!
727 00:37:51 Get off of me! Get your hungry ass off of me!
728 00:37:55 Get off of me!
729 00:38:02 You thought I was a black rabbit?
730 00:38:04 Dude, that was sick. You went primal, man.
731 00:38:12 Yes, I did.
732 00:38:14 Yes, I did.
733 00:38:15 You know what? She might be the big cat, but I'm looking at the Big Dog.
734 00:38:20 -This is the Big Dog. You are the Big Dog. -Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah.
735 00:38:25 You hear that?
736 00:38:27 I'm the Big Dog!
737 00:38:32 -Oh my God.
738 00:38:35 I'm the Big Dog!
739 00:38:40 What do you mean? Did she clip me? -She clipped me a little bit?
740 00:38:44 Damn.
741 00:38:45 I got a little bit of Neosporin.
742 00:38:47 -Just put this on there. -Oh, no.
743 00:38:49 I don't know if it's gonna do it.
744 00:38:50 -Take a picture. Lemme look at it. -You sure?
745 00:38:52 Yeah. I gotta see it, 'cause Neosporin, you normally put a little bit on top.
746 00:38:55 That hardens it up. Goes away the next day.
747 00:38:57 -Take a look at this. -Yeah, let me see it. What--
748 00:39:04 -Oh, she tried to take my spine out. -You gotta breathe. You gotta breathe.
749 00:39:10 Sonny. He's not okay!
750 00:39:12 -Guys! Calm down. -Sonny?
751 00:39:14 We're gonna get him to the campsite.
752 00:39:15 -Yeah. We got you, Sonny. -We're gonna bandage it up, okay?
753 00:39:18 -Just breathe. Oh, he's out. -Okay.
754 00:39:21 -Oh my God!
755 00:39:30 The raw bar has arrived.
756 00:39:48 Shot of "to-kill-ya," Big Dog?
757 00:39:55 Let's go!
758 00:40:06 -To the Big Dog!
759 00:40:24 One, two, three, and slide.
760 00:40:28 Great. Okay, it's your turn.
761 00:40:30 No, it's my turn.
762 00:40:31 Okay, go ahead. Oh, wait, it's your dad. Hi!
763 00:40:34 Hey. I wanted to call you guys,
764 00:40:37 check on you, see how things were going, honey.
765 00:40:39 Actually, it's been great. We had such a fun day. How about you?
766 00:40:42 -I'm good. -It's Sonny.
767 00:40:43 Good is an understatement, 'cause I ended up coming to Huck's party.
768 00:40:46 That is fantastic, babe. I'm glad.
769 00:40:49 We're in the desert, getting primal.
770 00:40:51 -Oh?
771 00:40:52 I even got myself a nickname out here. They call me the Big Dog.
772 00:40:55 -Well, I know what that means. -Big Dog!
773 00:40:58 And it's sticking.
774 00:40:59 -Baby, I'm-- -Dad!
775 00:41:01 -You been practicing for the show? No, better.
776 00:41:04 We took a seaplane ride! -It was so fun!
777 00:41:08 -Okay. Okay-- Mom's friend Armando flew us
778 00:41:10 to his private island.
779 00:41:12 Back up a little bit. Sounded like you said, "Armando."
780 00:41:14 Do me a favor, put your mother on the phone. Let me talk to your mom.
781 00:41:18 -Hi, honey. -Hey.
782 00:41:19 You didn't say nothing to me about Armando coming out there.
783 00:41:21 Baby, I didn't know he was coming up here. How would I know? He just showed up.
784 00:41:25 He wanted my opinion on this island that he's thinking of buying.
785 00:41:28 And Mom's gonna design a tortoise sanctuary for him.
786 00:41:31 What are you talking about? What does that mean?
787 00:41:33 Well, I was gonna call you about it after I put the kids to bed.
788 00:41:36 He just suggested that I leave my job
789 00:41:43 Oh! Oh, there you go.
790 00:41:45 Last suggestion I remember was you telling me that you wanted to spend time with the kids.
791 00:41:49 Now I find out that you're island hopping
792 00:41:54 -Sonny, it's Gil. Oh shit.
793 00:41:57 -You have to understand something. -Here we go.
794 00:41:59 Maya is the breadwinner,
795 00:42:01 and your job is to hold down the home front.
796 00:42:03 Now, I love you, buddy, but you got to stay in your lane.
797 00:42:06 You know what, Gil? I doubt that I'm gonna take relationship advice,
798 00:42:09 or any type of advice for that matter, from a cheater.
799 00:42:12 -What? - That's right.
800 00:42:13 From a cheater! -What?
801 00:42:14 -Who did Grandpa cheat with? I have never cheated in my life!
802 00:42:17 Want me to take you back to last summer, huh? Orcas Island Golf Course?
803 00:42:20 You gave yourself every putt within six feet.
804 00:42:23 -He's talking about golf. So dumb. -Newsflash, those are not gimmes!
805 00:42:26 They're not gimmes, Pops!
806 00:42:27 It's not my fault you don't have the balls to tell me to putt out, you pussy.
807 00:42:32 -Oh, I don't have the balls? -Okay, Maya--
808 00:42:34 -Okay. -Let me tell you something about my balls!
809 00:42:36 Let me tell you something about my big black balls.
810 00:42:40 -I'm out. Take the phone, girl. -I fought off a mountain lion!
811 00:42:43 You're not done 'cause I'm not done, so pick up the phone. Gil?
812 00:42:46 -We're gonna tell you good night, honey. -Maya, give Gil back the phone!
813 00:42:57 You don't have no balls.
814 00:43:04 Hey, Sonny.
815 00:43:06 Where you been, buddy?
816 00:43:07 I was up there on the phone with Maya. -I had to go find reception.
817 00:43:10 -Really? I call to check on her.
818 00:43:12 I'm thinking she's with the kids, spending quality time.
819 00:43:15 She's with her parents, what she was supposed to be doing. I find out her client Armando's there.
820 00:43:19 I find that out 'cause Dash told me.
821 00:43:20 And her dad called me a pussy.
822 00:43:23 -Whoa. None of that right now. -I never-- I'm not a pussy. I'm--
823 00:43:26 Just calm down.
824 00:43:27 -Yeah, I-- -Take a breath. Recenter.
825 00:43:28 -Yeah. -You're not with Maya.
826 00:43:30 -You're not with the kids. -Yeah.
827 00:43:32 -You're here in the desert with me. -Yeah.
828 00:43:36 There you go. Recenter.
829 00:43:40 Oh, hell, yes.
830 00:43:41 Sonny, you're gonna lose your mind
831 00:43:43 when you see the surprise guest I pulled out of a hat.
832 00:43:45 -You got a surprise guest? -I got a surprise guest.
833 00:43:48 For you. They're a little early, but you're gonna love it.
834 00:43:50 -Who is it? Tell me. -You're gonna love it.
835 00:43:55 Ay-yi-yi.
836 00:43:56 Huck, my man. I texted you. You've been ghosting me.
837 00:44:00 No! No, I've just been slammed planning this party. It's my 44th.
838 00:44:03 Not to burst your bubble, but that's not a milestone of any kind.
839 00:44:07 And if it wasn't for your friend here posting you on the 'gram,
840 00:44:09 I would've never found out where you were hiding.
841 00:44:12 I would not hide from you.
842 00:44:13 Wait a minute, am I missing something? Is this the surprise?
843 00:44:16 Allow me to do the intros.
844 00:44:17 Stan Berman, alternative revenue specialist.
845 00:44:20 -And this is my colleague, Dorit. -Shalom.
846 00:44:23 Shalom back at you. I'm, uh, Sonny Fisher.
847 00:44:26 So, Huck, when I saw you were throwing this elaborate shindig
848 00:44:30 even though you still owe me $47,000,
849 00:44:33 I thought Dorit and I will have to come pay you a visit.
850 00:44:35 No, I-- Look, I've been having some liquidity issues.
851 00:44:38 Stan offered to spot me.
852 00:44:39 -It's all good. -Okay.
853 00:44:40 I didn't spot you, Huck.
854 00:44:42 I loaned you the money, and you refused to pay me back.
855 00:44:46 So now, Dorit's gonna have to inflict some bodily harm.
856 00:44:50 Stan. Stan. Stan the Man. Hey, I thought we were friends.
857 00:44:54 We are, but Huck, I was very clear about my fee structure.
858 00:44:57 It's a misunderstanding.
859 00:44:59 I did not know this was so time-sensitive.
860 00:45:01 Give me a day. I'll move some funds around.
861 00:45:03 I'll pay you back.
862 00:45:04 Oy vey.
863 00:45:06 A day? -Yeah.
864 00:45:09 All right, fine.
865 00:45:10 -Oh my God. -Yes, thank you!
866 00:45:11 -He's so reasonable. -I didn't know what was going on. -I'm panicking right now.
867 00:45:14 -Don't sever anything. Just break a finger, then we gotta hit the road.
868 00:45:17 Wait, what are you talking about? We had a deal. You gave me a day.
869 00:45:20 You just said that it was okay. We heard you say that.
870 00:45:22 But, Huck, would you really feel the pressure to pay me back
871 00:45:25 without some physical violence?
872 00:45:27 -I wouldn't with the same immediacy. -That's my point.
873 00:45:29 You guys are in good hands. Don't worry, Dorit's incredibly precise.
874 00:45:32 Fingers on the wood, please.
875 00:45:36 -Don't put your hand there. -She said I have--
876 00:45:40 It's Dorit. Like "Dorito" without the "o." Come on, man, pull it together.
877 00:45:44 Hey! Don't! Wait! He's gonna say something important, I think.
878 00:45:47 -Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! -What?
879 00:45:49 I can't let this happen because I feel responsible.
880 00:45:51 No, Sonny, this is not your fault. I'm not letting you take responsibility.
881 00:45:54 You're the responsible party?
882 00:45:56 Yes, my picture is what brought you here.
883 00:46:01 -Okay. -Yes!
884 00:46:02 -Dorit. Oh, I love you! Thank you. -Thank you.
885 00:46:05 You're so sweet. I told you she was really nice.
886 00:46:07 Way more understanding than him.
887 00:46:11 Oh my God!
888 00:46:12 -Whoa! Why is the little one screaming?
889 00:46:15 He said he was responsible.
890 00:46:17 I said I was responsible for bringing you here, Diggit.
891 00:46:19 Dorit! Dorit!
892 00:46:20 "Dorit." I don't give a shit!
893 00:46:22 Damn!
894 00:46:23 Dorit, you have to run these things by me.
895 00:46:25 He said responsible!
896 00:46:27 Oh my God. That is disgusting. It looks like a hot Cheeto.
897 00:46:30 I am so sorry, Sonny, but look, we got a finger, right? We're good.
898 00:46:35 Dorit, would you please go burn down the campsite?
899 00:46:38 -Or do you want me to supervise that too? -What?
900 00:46:40 You said you got your finger. Why you gonna burn down the campsite?
901 00:46:43 Huck, you built a massive effigy of yourself while you're deeply indebted to me.
902 00:46:47 How do you think that reflects on my business?
903 00:46:49 The party's over buddy, okay? Just get your stuff together and pay me back.
904 00:46:52 -Oh my God, Huck. -She's not really gonna do that.
905 00:46:55 I'm sorry again, Sonny.
906 00:46:56 I promise you, Dorit's a delight when you get to know her.
907 00:47:00 We're trying to party!
908 00:47:02 -Party's over! Go home! -No, not the effigy!
909 00:47:07 We weren't gonna burn that till Thursday!
910 00:47:14 Don't worry. Hey! Hey!
911 00:47:16 Now you owe me $47,000 and an iPhone.
912 00:47:19 What?
913 00:47:21 Hey, guys.
914 00:47:23 I'm so sorry.
915 00:47:25 This is a bit of a misunderstanding. Actually, it's a bookkeeping issue really.
916 00:47:29 Clearly, this is not how I wanted the week to end.
917 00:47:32 Geno will get you safely back to LA. Next time.
918 00:47:35 -We had fun. -Thank you.
919 00:47:37 -It's nothing. -We'll party next weekend.
920 00:47:39 You said Geno will get you safely back to LA.
921 00:47:42 -You're not coming? -All right.
922 00:47:44 No, I should see if there's anything salvageable.
923 00:47:46 I'll just call an Uber.
924 00:47:49 Party was still fire, brother.
925 00:47:51 Not the best time to use the word "fire."
926 00:47:53 -I just meant like-- -I understand the sentiment.
927 00:47:57 Bye, Huck!
928 00:48:03 No, no, Sonny, you've done enough. I feel horrible about your finger.
929 00:48:10 We could start-- You wanna start here?
930 00:48:11 You wanna start with the stuff that's not still on fire, maybe?
931 00:48:13 Maybe still smoking?
932 00:48:16 Bye, guys!
933 00:48:19 Oh my God.
934 00:48:21 My YETIs melted. That's 2,500 I'll never get back.
935 00:48:24 You spent 2,500 on coolers, Huck?
936 00:48:27 Why would you spend that on coolers when you're in the hole?
937 00:48:30 I don't know what's wrong with me.
938 00:48:32 It's much bigger than YETIs, I can tell you that.
939 00:48:34 The truth is, I didn't leave the ad agency, Sonny.
940 00:48:37 I got fired.
941 00:48:38 -You got what? -I got fired.
942 00:48:40 I take a client out to dinner,
943 00:48:42 somehow, we'd end up on a bender in San Miguel de Allende.
944 00:48:45 HR caught on and was like, "Ah, no. Hello!"
945 00:48:47 They don't wanna pay $17,000 for a dinner.
946 00:48:52 I tried to start my own firm, but I couldn't even get past QuickBooks.
947 00:48:55 I spiraled. These parties got out of control.
948 00:48:57 It was an attempt to stave off my loneliness.
949 00:49:00 If you needed help, why didn't you just call me?
950 00:49:02 I did. I called. I texted you. Every time I hit you up, you just blew me off.
951 00:49:06 And I get it, all right? I took the hint. You're onto this beautiful new chapter.
952 00:49:10 There was no time for me getting in the way. I understand.
953 00:49:13 No, no, Huck.
954 00:49:14 You would call me at eleven o'clock at night to go out.
955 00:49:17 I'm in bed by nine.
956 00:49:19 And not to mention, if I do go out,
957 00:49:23 That's not my world. I build Legos, I wipe ass.
958 00:49:26 Sonny, you're crushing it.
959 00:49:28 You support a brilliant woman. You raised two amazing kids.
960 00:49:31 Anyone would kill for your life.
961 00:49:35 You wouldn't.
962 00:49:36 Are you kidding me?
963 00:49:38 That's my dream.
964 00:49:39 I'm just on more of a Clooney plan.
965 00:49:43 George Timothy Clooney? The world's most eligible bachelor?
966 00:49:47 The guy rode singledom into his 50s.
967 00:49:49 Then he married Amal, had the twins,
968 00:49:51 became a family man without ever missing a beat.
969 00:49:54 -The Clooney plan. -No, I get it. I understand.
970 00:49:56 Look, I'm sorry that I blew you off, man.
971 00:50:03 Right?
972 00:50:03 It's okay. We're talking now.
973 00:50:06 You're my best friend.
974 00:50:07 Water under the bridge.
975 00:50:09 Yeah.
976 00:50:12 Water under the bridge. You're right.
977 00:50:14 I'm sorry, man.
978 00:50:16 -Oh my God. -What?
979 00:50:18 The raw bar, untouched.
980 00:50:20 Sonny, this is a sign.
981 00:50:22 -Things are looking up. -What do you--
982 00:50:24 Let's bag these up and get out of here. No way I'm leaving four grand of shellfish behind.
983 00:50:27 You spent four grand on shellfish?
984 00:50:30 Oh my God. It stinks in here.
985 00:50:33 I never would've picked you guys up if I knew y'all were moving mollusks.
986 00:50:36 I'm so sorry, Thelma, but it was like God himself told me to take these oysters.
987 00:50:39 -You gotta be kidding me. -What?
988 00:50:43 Topanga, the next exit coming up.
989 00:50:44 It's Armando's.
990 00:50:46 That's where the old Toothbrush King himself lives.
991 00:50:49 -It's this chess match that he and I got. -Of course.
992 00:50:51 -I make a move, he-- -I gotta get eyes on this guy.
993 00:50:54 -On Armando? -Let me see him.
994 00:50:57 All right.
995 00:50:59 -Oh my God. Dude, he's stunning. -Pass the phone. Let me see.
996 00:51:04 -I don't think-- Huck!
997 00:51:05 -I want a woman's perspective. -Oh my God.
998 00:51:07 -Would you hit that? -Yeah, twice on Sunday.
999 00:51:09 Okay, that's enough. Please. Give me my pho--
1000 00:51:12 -Did you just like the picture? -Gorgeous.
1001 00:51:16 -Sonny,
1002 00:51:18 these moguls, they're predators. -What?
1003 00:51:20 He's going after your family. You gotta go after his.
1004 00:51:23 -Well-- -Does he have a wife? A girlfriend?
1005 00:51:25 I'd be down. I mean, what?
1006 00:51:26 I'd hate to be a home-wrecker, but I'll do it for you.
1007 00:51:28 -Okay. -You give me a week, I'll seduce her.
1008 00:51:32 You know what?
1009 00:51:35 He does.
1010 00:51:38 -Hey, get off at this exit. -Right here?
1011 00:51:40 Right here. Get off.
1012 00:51:41 -Hey! Ever hear of a blinker. Huh?
1013 00:51:46 Bro, I've done a lot of stupid stuff in my time,
1014 00:51:49 but there's no way I'm fucking a tortoise.
1015 00:51:51 -You just said you'd fuck a tortoise? -No, I'm not asking you to do that, Huck.
1016 00:51:55 The guy refers to these things as his family.
1017 00:51:58 Right? So what I'm thinking, I'm thinking we grab it, set it free.
1018 00:52:01 Let it outside the gate, right?
1019 00:52:03 By the time Armando gets back from San Juan, this thing could be anywhere.
1020 00:52:07 -Yeah, he's gonna be devastated. -He's gonna be pissed off.
1021 00:52:09 These tortoises are a lot heavier than what you think they are.
1022 00:52:12 -We have one. -When did you get a tortoise?
1023 00:52:14 Well, basically the kids' preschool, they made us take one for the summer, right?
1024 00:52:19 Kids fell in love with it. I don't even understand how.
1025 00:52:21 They're so emotionless.
1026 00:52:22 It's, like, not a good pet at all. They don't respond.
1027 00:52:25 They don't really do anything.
1028 00:52:27 There you go. The world is yours. Go, buddy.
1029 00:52:29 -Yeah, he's getting some momentum now. -Yeah, he is.
1030 00:52:32 -This is so stupid. -Go. Hee-yah!
1031 00:52:38 I gotta be honest, I'm having second thoughts.
1032 00:52:44 -Oh, thank God. -Yeah.
1033 00:52:46 God, I was feeling the same thing, but you were on a roll, so I kept my mouth shut.
1034 00:52:50 I like the feeling of knowing that we could have did this to Armando.
1035 00:52:54 -Wait, wait, wait, put him down. -What?
1036 00:52:56 -Hold on a second here. -What?
1037 00:52:57 What? I'm talking to the Big Dog right now.
1038 00:53:00 If we can't tear apart his family, we may as well mess with his house, right?
1039 00:53:04 Huck, wait, hold on--
1040 00:53:05 -Are you the Big Dog? -Yeah, I'm the Big Dog.
1041 00:53:08 -C'mon, don't be a little bitch. -I'm not a bitch.
1042 00:53:10 -Let her hear the Big Dog. -I'm the Big Dog!
1043 00:53:14 Is that the Big Dog?
1044 00:53:17 Oh, yeah. He's ready.
1045 00:53:23 -Not gonna need that. -What you gonna do without salt? Dump it.
1046 00:53:26 -This is good stuff. -Dump it.
1047 00:53:28 You can't dump this one. You gotta grind-- This is gonna take forever.
1048 00:53:33 Oh my God, I'll turn this heat all the way up.
1049 00:53:35 -Nuke it. No, nuke it all. -Ruin all his wine.
1050 00:53:37 Delete 'em.
1051 00:53:38 Storage Wars, Naked and Afraid, Frasier, Two and a Half-- Blue Bloods.
1052 00:53:41 Does this guy live with his parents?
1053 00:53:44 -Does he use this? -Is that going down there?
1054 00:53:46 You wanna flip my balls, bitch?
1055 00:53:49 How's that sauce taste, Armando?
1056 00:53:50 -Oh my God. -I bet it tastes like Black ass.
1057 00:53:55 Bye-bye.
1058 00:53:56 -You ready to take it to another level? -Yeah.
1059 00:53:59 Leave an upper-decker in the bathroom.
1060 00:54:00 -Hell, yeah. -Yeah.
1061 00:54:03 What is that?
1062 00:54:04 Drop one in the tank.
1063 00:54:06 A deuce!
1064 00:54:07 -Okay. -A hot one, a steamer.
1065 00:54:09 Yeah. I gotta muster it up, but I'll do it.
1066 00:54:14 Why don't you shit his bed instead?
1067 00:54:16 It's a great pivot. You've always been an idea man, Huck.
1068 00:54:20 I'm gonna do it.
1069 00:54:31 I'm gonna take all your left shoes, Armando.
1070 00:54:38 -Big Dog, did you drop it like it's hot? -Hell, yeah, I did.
1071 00:54:41 That's it? It's like a hotel pillow mint.
1072 00:54:44 Yeah. Well, I mean, I had already went to the bathroom in the desert.
1073 00:54:46 I didn't have much left to work with, but I pushed that out.
1074 00:54:55 No! Whoa, whoa! What are you doing? What are you doing?
1075 00:54:58 We're not doing this.
1076 00:54:59 We're doing harmless stuff that's still got some bad intent to it.
1077 00:55:03 Not this.
1078 00:55:04 -Well, don't you want to get back-- -No.
1079 00:55:06 -Get into it? I'm doing this for you. -No. Whoa-- You're not.
1080 00:55:09 So, don't break another plate. Go wait in the car, please.
1081 00:55:12 -Okay.
1082 00:55:14 -I love the enthusiasm. -Thank you.
1083 00:55:24 How you gonna pay Stan Berman back, man?
1084 00:55:26 I'm gonna flee the country.
1085 00:55:28 -What? -Look, Stan's a bad dude.
1086 00:55:30 He's called The Butcher of Beverly Hills. I heard he dumps bodies at the marina.
1087 00:55:33 -Huck, that's insane.
1088 00:55:36 A buddy moved to Buenos Aires to chase the tango.
1089 00:55:38 He gets by for next to nothing.
1090 00:55:40 I'll head down there, lay low for a minute, funnel Stan some cash. It'll be fine.
1091 00:55:43 You're talking about leaving? That's crazy.
1092 00:55:45 I feel like Butch and Sundance just got back together.
1093 00:55:48 We had one last day together. It was the greatest day of my life.
1094 00:55:51 The day doesn't have to be over. We can keep the party going.
1095 00:55:53 Sonny, it's over. I'm couch surfing. There's no place to move the party to.
1096 00:55:59 Okay, what if there was a place?
1097 00:56:00 -No. -No. Call Geno.
1098 00:56:02 Tell Geno to take the bus to Sherman Oaks 'cause we're moving the party to my house.
1099 00:56:07 All right, Huck-mobile's en route, and I sent Kabir your house rules.
1100 00:56:11 -He's all good. -This is so--
1101 00:56:13 Oh my God. If this is a flat, you're paying.
1102 00:56:23 We're gonna send you out with a bang, Huck.
1103 00:56:25 Watch.
1104 00:56:27 -With a big bang.
1105 00:56:28 -What the heck are you banging? -Get out of the car right now!
1106 00:56:31 You're gonna wanna see this.
1107 00:56:36 -Oh my God. Is it dead? -I don't know.
1108 00:56:39 This is so bad. It could've been 100 years old!
1109 00:56:41 -Oh my God!
1110 00:56:42 -Isn't that, like, bad karma?
1111 00:56:45 -It blinked. It blinked! -What?
1112 00:56:46 -You saw it blink? -It's blinking now.
1113 00:56:47 Oh, hi. Listen,
1114 00:56:49 if it's blinking, that means we got time to do the right thing.
1115 00:56:51 All we gotta do is get it in the car, get it to the animal hospital. That's it
1116 00:56:55 No, we are not putting that mangled beast in my new Nissan.
1117 00:56:59 Thelma, be reasonable.
1118 00:57:01 Can one injured turtle smell any worse than 200 Littlenecks in your trunk?
1119 00:57:04 Why are we not focusing on the problem? Right now, it's not about you.
1120 00:57:07 Why are you in my face?
1121 00:57:08 -Hey! Hey! -You just shoved the Big Dog?
1122 00:57:11 -What Big Dog, you little chihuahua? -He's a bigger dog than you.
1123 00:57:13 Woof, woof, bitch. That's how you bark!
1124 00:57:16 -We don't have the time. Come on. -Load it up!
1125 00:57:18 Get the turtle!
1126 00:57:19 Make yourself-- Get your ass in the car!
1127 00:57:21 -Make yourself useful. -Don't tell me what to do!
1128 00:57:24 God.
1129 00:57:25 -Let's go!
1130 00:57:27 Oh my God. Be careful!
1131 00:57:28 -Shut up! You don't think we know? -Obviously you don't.
1132 00:57:32 Okay, what does it say to do?
1133 00:57:33 Cover the mouth.
1134 00:57:34 Blow through the nose as hard as you can. Wrap your lips around it.
1135 00:57:38 Look at the picture!
1136 00:57:39 He's fighting it. He's not letting it go down.
1137 00:57:41 I got it. I got it.
1138 00:57:45 -Yes. Yes!
1139 00:57:47 -More mouth.
1140 00:57:48 I got turtle boogie. I didn't know they had boogies. Oh my God.
1141 00:57:51 I got something in there.
1142 00:57:52 -That is disgusting. -Wake up!
1143 00:57:54 Don't flick him! You have to gently grasp.
1144 00:57:58 Cover his mouth and blow slow, steady breaths into his nostril.
1145 00:58:05 -We're here, fools. -Wait. Wait. What?
1146 00:58:07 -Stop! Stop! I said don't. I said do not. -Got it.
1147 00:58:10 Come on. Car, car, car.
1148 00:58:12 -Slow down! We got an injured turtle here.
1149 00:58:18 -Hey, you got it? -I got it.
1150 00:58:21 Let's go, you idiots!
1151 00:58:27 Hold on. Hold on. Wait, wait.
1152 00:58:28 -Wait, wait, wait -What?
1153 00:58:30 Goddamn it. Did you do this?
1154 00:58:35 -No. -Who did it?
1155 00:58:37 Armando Zavala! Go!
1156 00:58:39 Get him inside before he dies, stupid.
1157 00:58:41 Get it inside!
1158 00:58:42 Watch this. You think Armando's gonna miss all his left shoes?
1159 00:58:45 That's so genius, Huck.
1160 00:58:47 You got to strike while the iron's hot.
1161 00:58:49 Now, you got your little nest egg.
1162 00:58:51 -You got your first client. -Yes, but I need to talk to Sonny first.
1163 00:58:55 He'll figure it out, now. I don't see any issues.
1164 00:58:58 -Oh, well, except the big issue. -Which is?
1165 00:59:00 Well, I barely see Dash and Ava as it is.
1166 00:59:04 If I start my own firm, I'm never gonna be home.
1167 00:59:07 If you want to be away from the kids more than you already are,
1168 00:59:11 I think you know the answer.
1169 00:59:18 Honey, I'm jealous.
1170 00:59:22 I am jealous of you
1171 00:59:23 because you have a partner who helps you live your dreams.
1172 00:59:26 What is that supposed to mean, baby?
1173 00:59:29 -You never helped me with these kids. -You oughta stop.
1174 00:59:32 I have a half-written erotic novel that I never finished.
1175 00:59:36 An erotic novel?
1176 00:59:37 -It's very sexual. -How is that my fault?
1177 00:59:49 Guys, this conversation has taken a really uncomfortable and crazy turn,
1178 00:59:53 but Mom, I do think I understand where you're coming from.
1179 00:59:56 Oh, thank you.
1180 01:00:01 -this wouldn't even be a conversation. -Mm-hmm.
1181 01:00:03 And Sonny and I, what we do, we make a great team.
1182 01:00:07 I give you that.
1183 01:00:08 I can do this.
1184 01:00:10 Yes, you can.
1185 01:00:12 Look, it's Armando.
1186 01:00:14 Armando, your ears must have been ringing. I literally just said your name.
1187 01:00:20 -Armando? Sonny ran over Ole Snappy.
1188 01:00:22 -Wait, wait! Sonny did what? -What'd Sonny do?
1189 01:00:25 -Sonny just ran over Ole Snappy. -Who the hell is Ole Snappy?
1190 01:00:28 I don't know. Who's Ole Snappy? -It's Armando's oldest tortoise.
1191 01:00:32 Are they gonna put him in jail for this? Can you see him now?
1192 01:00:35 -He'd never be able to get a job. -Turtle killer.
1193 01:00:50 -Hey, Thelma, we're a no-shoe household. -That's so dumb.
1194 01:00:57 Huck, who are all these people?
1195 01:00:59 Oh, dude, I put the bat call out on Instagram.
1196 01:01:01 Seems like you have a nice little turnout. You get settled, all right?
1197 01:01:04 -Wait, wait -Put these bad boys on ice. We'll be good.
1198 01:01:06 -I thought it was just--
1199 01:01:07 -Hey, the Big Dog is in the house!
1200 01:01:09 -Hey, what's up, man? -What's popping, bro?
1201 01:01:11 Hey, I got Huck's texts, cordoned off all your kids' rooms
1202 01:01:14 and made a sign telling everybody to remove they shoes.
1203 01:01:17 Yeah. But look, your TV was paused on some '90s porn.
1204 01:01:22 I watched a little bit of it, but it was so nice that it had an actual plot.
1205 01:01:26 -Okay. -Sonny!
1206 01:01:27 -Hey. -Alan?
1207 01:01:30 -Alan, what are you doing here, man? I followed your boy Huck on Instagram.
1208 01:01:33 I saw the party moved to your place, so I had to get here.
1209 01:01:36 -The magnetic pull was far too strong. -You drove from Legoland?
1210 01:01:39 Rita's a deep sleeper. She'll never know I'm gone.
1211 01:01:41 The kids'll be up in the morning, but I'll be back by then. I hope.
1212 01:01:44 I'm just gonna ask, is that cocaine, man?
1213 01:01:47 What do you think this is, Grand Theft Auto? No, this is my son's ADHD medication.
1214 01:01:50 How much of that have you done? A pretty good amount if I'm being honest.
1215 01:01:53 I've done this before. Not my first time.
1216 01:01:56 -This is my first time. -Okay.
1217 01:01:58 -What you gonna do?
1218 01:01:59 I've been lying to myself, Sonny, for far too long.
1219 01:02:04 You know, Rita, she just bosses me around all the time.
1220 01:02:07 I'm never alone. I'm not going back to Legoland.
1221 01:02:08 -I don't have to go back. -I didn't say you did.
1222 01:02:10 I'm not gonna 'cause I don't have to go.
1223 01:02:12 -Okay. -I'll be back before the kids wake up.
1224 01:02:19 Mr. Fisher!
1225 01:02:21 I saw that it was your address on the post, and I was like,
1226 01:02:24 "We have to party with Mr. F."
1227 01:02:26 I'm pouring you a shot, right now. You're doing a shot with me, Mr. F.
1228 01:02:29 No, please, Skyler, you don't have to.
1229 01:02:31 Dude, are you okay? -No.
1230 01:02:34 -What's the matter? It starts with all these people being in my house.
1231 01:02:37 -It's way more than I expected. -More than I thought.
1232 01:02:39 On top of that, I've been drinking all day,
1233 01:02:41 my head's spinning, I smell like tortoise shit.
1234 01:02:43 Not to mention, I don't even know if the tortoise survived.
1235 01:02:45 -If it's not alive, that's a big problem-- -This ends now, okay?
1236 01:02:50 -Animal Hospital.
1237 01:02:56 Uh, is it okay? Is it on the mend?
1238 01:02:58 The one you dropped at our door like a gunshot victim?
1239 01:03:01 I knew they were gonna know it was us! You shitheads messed him up real bad.
1240 01:03:04 -Oh, come on. Don't say that.
1241 01:03:06 - But he's gonna pull through. What?
1242 01:03:08 -What did you say?
1243 01:03:09 - He's going to pull through. -Yes! Yes!
1244 01:03:11 Yes!
1245 01:03:12 What's your name? We're gonna have to bill you.
1246 01:03:18 Oh my God.
1247 01:03:20 -The night begins anew. -Yeah.
1248 01:03:22 -Oh, wait. This is the text I've been waiting for.
1249 01:03:24 What text?
1250 01:03:25 It's a surprise.
1251 01:03:26 Go get organized and get cleaned up. You smell like shit.
1252 01:03:29 -I know, it's me. Okay. -Come on!
1253 01:03:30 I'm getting everybody out in the backyard. -Hurry up! -I smell.
1254 01:03:33 -All right, folks.
1255 01:03:37 Oh, yeah! Yeah!
1256 01:03:40 by one guest in particular.
1257 01:03:43 -Aw, Big Dog!
1258 01:03:45 That's you, man.
1259 01:03:46 So when I heard my best friend and brother was coming to this birthday party,
1260 01:03:50 I knew I had to do something special.
1261 01:03:51 You don't have to do nothing.
1262 01:03:53 I called in every favor, and now,
1263 01:03:55 gracing this deck tonight,
1264 01:03:57 one of the greatest musicians in history
1265 01:04:04 Seal!
1266 01:04:09 Thanks, Huck brother.
1267 01:04:12 He's the greatest!
1268 01:04:14 Hello, Sherman Oaks.
1269 01:04:22 is there a doctor in the house?
1270 01:04:26 Actually, I need someone with a particular speciality.
1271 01:04:34 This is him. That's his musical personality name.
1272 01:04:37 Come on up, man. Come on.
1273 01:04:39 -You want me to come on the-- -He wants to perform with you.
1274 01:04:41 Stop playing with me, Huck.
1275 01:04:48 I went in your closet, and I found this.
1276 01:04:52 Yeah!
1277 01:04:54 -Great coat. Great coat. -Oh my God.
1278 01:04:56 -How you doing, Silk? -Good, man. I'm such a big fan.
1279 01:04:59 -Oh, thank you. You ready for this? -Yeah. Yeah.
1280 01:05:02 Let's get a little crazy.
1281 01:05:04 -Come on. He--
1282 01:05:06 He said we gonna get a little crazy, Huck.
1283 01:05:14 -Have you got this? -Yeah.
1284 01:05:19 Had it programmed on my keyboard.
1285 01:05:44 -Me? Take it, Silk. Ready?
1286 01:05:54 -Get crazy! -Say what?
1287 01:05:59 Mr. F! Yes!
1288 01:06:05 He's actually good! He's actually good.
1289 01:06:11 -I told you.
1290 01:06:20 Yes!
1291 01:06:26 I need you right here, Silk. You ready?
1292 01:06:27 One, two, three.
1293 01:06:43 -You did so good! -Thank you.
1294 01:06:45 Hey, man, I thought Seal was white this whole time.
1295 01:06:47 -No, man! -Until today.
1296 01:06:49 -Sonny! -Yes, sir.
1297 01:06:50 -Oh my God, that was incredible! -Thank you.
1298 01:06:52 I don't know what happened to you in the desert, but you're a new man.
1299 01:06:55 Wow.
1300 01:06:56 Check this out.
1301 01:06:58 No more Dashiell's dad. Uh-uh.
1302 01:07:00 -Wow. -We are real friends. Real friends!
1303 01:07:03 -That means a lot to me. -Good.
1304 01:07:05 Remind me your last name again?
1305 01:07:08 Seven years.
1306 01:07:09 Washington?
1307 01:07:10 -No. -Oh, no, it's Carter. It's Carter.
1308 01:07:15 Johnson?
1309 01:07:16 Uh, I feel like you're just saying Black last names.
1310 01:07:18 -I am. -It's Fisher.
1311 01:07:20 -Fisher. Fisher. -Fisher. Yeah.
1312 01:07:22 -Like Derek. He's Black. -Yeah, it still means a lot. This is--
1313 01:07:25 -Nice. Oh, man. -Yeah.
1314 01:07:27 -I'm feeling so dialed in right now. -Okay.
1315 01:07:30 I'll go to your kid's room and finish his Lego project, okay?
1316 01:07:32 -Oh, well, no, that's not okay, Alan. -There he is.
1317 01:07:35 -Dr. Silky Silk! -The highest level possible is attained.
1318 01:07:40 Hey, you? You're canceling your flight.
1319 01:07:43 What?
1320 01:07:44 -Cancel your flight. -No, no, what?
1321 01:07:46 You're not going to Buenos Aires
1322 01:07:48 because I'm going to pay your debt with Stan Berman.
1323 01:07:52 No, that is an incredible offer, but I cannot accept.
1324 01:07:54 I owe the man $47,000.
1325 01:07:56 I know what you owe him, and I don't care.
1326 01:07:58 All right, look, we've always had each other's backs, have we not?
1327 01:08:01 -Of course. -Have we not?
1328 01:08:03 Okay, and I am a much better version of myself when I'm with you.
1329 01:08:06 Now Maya and I, we got some extra cash put away.
1330 01:08:09 You gotta run this by her first.
1331 01:08:11 Why? She didn't run her business with Armando by me.
1332 01:08:14 Now, I was thinking about getting that 2022 Honda Odyssey,
1333 01:08:19 -Are you for real? -Yes.
1334 01:08:21 Oh my God, Sonny, I was not looking forward to Argentina.
1335 01:08:24 And call Stan Berman before I change my mind.
1336 01:08:27 Come here. Call him.
1337 01:08:28 Entering the routing number.
1338 01:08:30 -That's right. -Okay, so I'm done there, and bam.
1339 01:08:39 -It went through. -Okay.
1340 01:08:41 Sonny, you're a real mensch.
1341 01:08:43 And Huck, congratulations. You're a free man.
1342 01:08:46 I have no words, Sonny, man. Thank you.
1343 01:08:47 Is that Seal?
1344 01:08:49 I saw him play Tel Aviv in 2017.
1345 01:08:51 Amazing show. I'm gonna ask for a selfie.
1346 01:08:54 Seal! Seal!
1347 01:08:57 Wow, Seal?
1348 01:08:59 He did me a favor. He's a sweetheart.
1349 01:09:01 -Excuse me, Big Dog? -Yeah?
1350 01:09:03 I feel you'd wanna know
1351 01:09:04 there's a bunch of naked middle-aged people in the Jacuzzi.
1352 01:09:08 Thank you for the heads-up. Damn it.
1353 01:09:10 -I don't want to body-shame but-- -Hey!
1354 01:09:15 Jill! Combover Stew! No! Stop it. Stop!
1355 01:09:19 Hey, Sonny, get wet.
1356 01:09:20 -What? -Yeah.
1357 01:09:21 Come on, boo.
1358 01:09:22 No, and that's enough. Okay?
1359 01:09:25 -Daddy! -Yeah?
1360 01:09:26 -Mom, Dad's out back. -Oh my God. Hey!
1361 01:09:28 Oh, my goodness, look at you. What are you doing here?
1362 01:09:31 I just talked to you in San Juan.
1363 01:09:33 Armando gave us a lift on his G5. It was sick.
1364 01:09:36 Daddy, why did you kill Ole Snappy?
1365 01:09:42 Armando's tortoise.
1366 01:09:43 He sent a video to Mommy of you and Uncle Huck running it over.
1367 01:09:46 -It was unmistakably you. -Okay, Snappy? Snappy, he's alive.
1368 01:09:51 So it's a misunderstanding. I just gotta-- I'm gonna talk to your mom.
1369 01:09:54 I'm gonna explain it-- Wow. There she is. Uh-oh. Oh, my.
1370 01:09:57 -Cannonball! -Okay.
1371 01:09:59 -Bethany, no!
1372 01:10:01 Oh my God.
1373 01:10:03 Oh, no.
1374 01:10:04 Oh, that was such a small target.
1375 01:10:14 Please go upstairs.
1376 01:10:15 Okay, upstairs, every--
1377 01:10:16 What is going on? I've been trying to reach you.
1378 01:10:19 And what the hell were you doing at Armando's house?
1379 01:10:21 You can't ask me all the questions because I can ask you questions too.
1380 01:10:24 What was Armando doing in San Juan?
1381 01:10:26 -We talked. I told you on the phone. -We did not talk. We did not talk!
1382 01:10:28 We did not talk!
1383 01:10:30 -We talked! -I told you.
1384 01:10:31 I said that me and Armando are in a chess match.
1385 01:10:34 So you're telling me that you let a rabbit shit in his bed because it's part--
1386 01:10:37 Let me stop you right there. That wasn't a rabbit. That was my shit.
1387 01:10:41 That was me playing chess at the highest level. -You shit in the bed?
1388 01:10:44 And you're proud of that?
1389 01:10:45 -The fact that I did it on command. -Hey, what's up, girl?
1390 01:10:48 -Oh, Huck. -Oh my God. I haven't seen you forever.
1391 01:10:51 I love that sweater. You know, I could not pull off that color.
1392 01:10:53 Thank you, Huck. Can you just give us one minute? Oh, absolutely.
1393 01:10:56 Real quick, Maya?
1394 01:10:57 Can I just say, you are married to one of the all-time greats.
1395 01:11:00 I don't know what I did to deserve a friend like him,
1396 01:11:02 but he came to my rescue in a way that I will never forget.
1397 01:11:05 Exactly how did he do that?
1398 01:11:07 -I can tell you later. Fill you in later. -No, please. -Huck, will you fill me in?
1399 01:11:11 -I'll give her the Cliff Notes.
1400 01:11:12 Look, I owed this loan shark a huge amount of money.
1401 01:11:14 It was looking dark.
1402 01:11:16 Sonny stepped up and saved the day. My brother. Thank you.
1403 01:11:19 -Thank you. -No, thank you.
1404 01:11:21 I'll let you two catch up. Give me a kiss.
1405 01:11:23 Thank you. It's so good to see you as always.
1406 01:11:25 My guy.
1407 01:11:26 You're a hero.
1408 01:11:27 No. Nobody can read the room like you, Huck.
1409 01:11:33 Okay.
1410 01:11:34 You need to understand the trouble Huck was in. Huck was about to flee.
1411 01:11:37 Sonny, how much money did you pay the loan shark?
1412 01:11:40 You want a number? I don't have a problem giving you a number.
1413 01:11:43 -Okay, give it to me. -All right.
1414 01:11:44 -How much? -All right. I think it was like 47?
1415 01:11:48 Really, Sonny? You gave him $4,700? Why did you do that?
1416 01:11:52 It wasn't 4,700.
1417 01:11:56 Forty-seven what?
1418 01:11:57 Forty-seven thousand dollars.
1419 01:11:59 Did you say $47,000?
1420 01:12:02 Yeah, that's what I said. That's what I gave him.
1421 01:12:07 Oh my God. Hold on. Hold on.
1422 01:12:08 -Dad! -Dash! Wait!
1423 01:12:11 -My Death Star! -Dash! You okay, buddy? It's ruined!
1424 01:12:14 Four months of painstaking Lego work,
1425 01:12:17 gone!
1426 01:12:18 Dash, baby, go get your sister. Okay? 'Cause we're leaving.
1427 01:12:25 Listen, I'm looking at the pieces that are broken--
1428 01:12:27 All right, go ahead. Okay.
1429 01:12:30 What? Maya. Maya, where you going?
1430 01:12:33 Hey, come on, Maya. Maya--
1431 01:12:35 -Hey, Dash, listen to me. -What?
1432 01:12:37 I'm gonna build that Death Star better than ever.
1433 01:12:39 You better not break Hokey Pokey's shell too. You better not!
1434 01:12:42 It was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose.
1435 01:12:44 Wh-- Maya!
1436 01:12:46 Maya, come on!
1437 01:12:48 Okay, Maya!
1438 01:12:54 They didn't wanna hang around?
1439 01:12:58 I feel sick, man. I need some water or something.
1440 01:13:00 Whoa, hang with me for a beat. You just need some fresh air.
1441 01:13:03 Wait a minute. What is this?
1442 01:13:06 Hey! Hey, slow down! There's kids that live in this area!
1443 01:13:10 Hey!
1444 01:13:12 Oh my God!
1445 01:13:15 Whoa!
1446 01:13:16 Hey! Hey!
1447 01:13:19 Hey!
1448 01:13:20 Oh God! What?
1449 01:13:24 Hey, you son of a bitch!
1450 01:13:25 Hey, man! Stop!
1451 01:13:27 Stop!
1452 01:13:29 What did I do to you? Hey!
1453 01:13:32 God!
1454 01:13:33 Why'd he do that to the Golden Chariot?
1455 01:13:35 I ain't never did nothing to nobody. Huck, did you see that?
1456 01:13:38 Sonny, baby, looks like it's time for that 2022 Honda Odyssey.
1457 01:13:42 What?
1458 01:13:43 Hit-and-run, baby.
1459 01:13:45 Your insurance will cover a replacement.
1460 01:13:47 That's my boy, Wade. He's big into monster trucks.
1461 01:13:50 He did me a solid.
1462 01:13:51 You, my friend, you're gonna be driving that sweet new ride by week's end.
1463 01:13:57 You gotta have that Odyssey, baby.
1464 01:13:59 I know what I-- Let me process it, Huck.
1465 01:14:07 I know you're upset about Maya, but when she sees the Odyssey,
1466 01:14:09 she's gonna fall back in love.
1467 01:14:10 Just give me a second, please.
1468 01:14:12 -All right, but I just wanna-- -That was a blast, boys.
1469 01:14:14 Sonny, Huck gave me your album.
1470 01:14:16 If I can find a CD player, I'll give it a spin.
1471 01:14:18 -Wow. Uh, thank you so much, man. -You're welcome.
1472 01:14:21 Anyway, my Lyft's about two minutes away, so if we can settle up?
1473 01:14:24 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
1474 01:14:27 Hey, great set, bud.
1475 01:14:29 You're welcome. Okay. Adios.
1476 01:14:31 All right. Adios, Seal.
1477 01:14:32 Will you pass that on to the label, huh?
1478 01:14:34 Sorry about your little pinky.
1479 01:14:36 Okay. You don't have to talk so close to my face.
1480 01:14:39 Seal. He's taking a Lyft. I love that. He's so humble.
1481 01:14:42 Why did you just give him a check, Huck?
1482 01:14:44 -Huh? -What "huh"? You said he did you a favor.
1483 01:14:46 -Well, he did. He did us a favor. -Then why'd you give him a check?
1484 01:14:50 Dude, the guy usually gets a hundred grand to do 20 minutes at a corporate event.
1485 01:14:54 I got him to do his whole set for twelve-five.
1486 01:14:56 -It's half the money I paid for my effigy. -It's not a favor, Huck.
1487 01:15:00 God, man.
1488 01:15:01 You never change.
1489 01:15:02 You're a mess.
1490 01:15:03 -Wow. -Yes.
1491 01:15:05 -Tell me how you really feel. -That's how I feel, Huck.
1492 01:15:07 I'm not gonna lose a friend over money. I'll pay Stan Berman back myself.
1493 01:15:11 I'm done with you, man.
1494 01:15:12 Why-- We're just getting started, Sonny.
1495 01:15:14 Everything's going so well. What's the problem?
1496 01:15:16 Here's another thing, Huck. You're no George Clooney.
1497 01:15:19 You're not even close to George Clooney.
1498 01:15:21 That man built a billion-dollar tequila business as a side hustle.
1499 01:15:24 You know what you're doing? You're ordering tracksuits off Etsy.
1500 01:15:27 Yeah, people love my tracksuits.
1501 01:15:30 You're sad, man.
1502 01:15:33 And I'll tell you-- Are you kidding me, Seal? Put it--
1503 01:15:38 Everybody? May I have your attention, please?
1504 01:15:41 -'Sup, Big Dog? -Time for everybody to get out.
1505 01:15:46 Get out!
1506 01:15:48 -I don't wanna go back to Legoland! -You're gonna take that drive, now!
1507 01:15:51 Shit!
1508 01:15:52 You guys in the pool, get out!
1509 01:15:54 -Ten more minutes.
1510 01:15:55 -No, get out! All of you.
1511 01:15:58 Let's go. Now.
1512 01:16:00 Thank you. Thank you. I'm sorry. Please. Please.
1513 01:16:03 Thank you.
1514 01:16:04 Finally. Goddamn. By myself.
1515 01:16:10 -Mm, mm.
1516 01:16:24 Shit.
1517 01:16:25 It was such a fun party. Uh, it was so great to see you.
1518 01:16:29 Don't come over here.
1519 01:16:33 -Sorry, I just have to-- -Okay, go ahead at your own risk.
1520 01:16:51 Maya, listen, I will get the money back. I promise.
1521 01:17:03 First of all, that's not even me. You know that.
1522 01:17:05 That's Huck and his influence.
1523 01:17:08 All right? He's got me doing a bunch of stupid shit that I'm not doing anymore.
1524 01:17:11 I'm done with that. I'm back to being the Sonny of old.
1525 01:17:19 Why would you say that? That's exactly what I want.
1526 01:17:21 Maya, can you come home?
1527 01:17:23 Sonny, I think we need a little time.
1528 01:17:27 We're gonna come home.
1529 01:17:29 You should find someplace else to stay.
1530 01:17:31 I have an idea.
1531 01:17:33 You can stay with us.
1532 01:17:35 Are you kidding me?
1533 01:17:36 Alan, did you sleep in my laundry room?
1534 01:17:38 Yeah. On second thought,
1535 01:17:39 Rita's gonna have my ass if she wakes up at Legoland and I'm not there.
1536 01:17:43 She'll take away my PS5.
1537 01:17:46 Get out of my house.
1538 01:17:47 Okay. I love you, Son.
1539 01:17:58 Hey, buddy.
1540 01:17:59 I really appreciate you letting me stay here, man.
1541 01:18:02 You know, me and Maya, we talked, right?
1542 01:18:05 And we just feel like a little space is probably best for us right now.
1543 01:18:10 You stay as long as you want, Big Dog.
1544 01:18:12 -Appreciate you. -I got you. My house is your house.
1545 01:18:15 Come on. You like honey?
1546 01:18:17 -Uh, yeah. -'Cause I put that shit on everything.
1547 01:18:19 You ever have fried honey?
1548 01:18:22 We gotta focus, everybody. We have to focus.
1549 01:18:25 The talent show's next week. We gotta show this school who we are.
1550 01:18:29 Okay?
1551 01:18:30 All right, Linus, I'm gonna count you in.
1552 01:18:32 Okay.
1553 01:18:33 Two, three, two, three, four.
1554 01:18:49 Ava, come on, we have to go!
1555 01:18:52 Mom, I don't want a Pop-Tart. I want a smoothie.
1556 01:18:54 -You want-- -'Cause Dad always makes a smoothie.
1557 01:18:57 You know what? An apple has more fiber.
1558 01:18:59 -Here, Mommy. -You're a big girl. You carry it. Come on.
1559 01:19:02 All right. Let's go. Oh shit, my--
1560 01:19:05 Mom, come on!
1561 01:19:06 I'm coming! I'm coming!
1562 01:19:07 -This you? -Yes!
1563 01:19:09 -Nah! -Hey, you know what's crazy?
1564 01:19:11 -Yo, what? -I didn't have to pay anything.
1565 01:19:12 Insurance covered the whole thing.
1566 01:19:14 Look, look, look, look, look.
1567 01:19:16 -Hello! -You didn't even touch the handle, bro! You didn't touch the handle, bro!
1568 01:19:24 It's perfect. Oh, we are gonna crush trivia night.
1569 01:19:28 -Guys! -There's no way that dude is 44.
1570 01:19:31 When I get hella old, I hope I'm not crashing on some kid's couch.
1571 01:19:35 I don't think the Big Dog's ever gonna see that money again.
1572 01:19:37 No.
1573 01:19:38 I wonder if my grandpa's retirement home needs a new rec director.
1574 01:19:41 -Yes! -He'd be so good at that.
1575 01:19:43 -I bet grandmas would love Huck.
1576 01:19:44 -Stupid!
1577 01:19:45 Yes. Cougarsexual.
1578 01:20:02 Wow.
1579 01:20:04 Snappy.
1580 01:20:07 Hey.
1581 01:20:09 I just came over to apologize, man.
1582 01:20:11 I really got outside myself.
1583 01:20:13 You know, I let this thing between you and I get way out of hand.
1584 01:20:15 What thing between you and I?
1585 01:20:17 This back and forth, this chess match.
1586 01:20:20 -This rivalry. -Rivalry?
1587 01:20:22 Dude, you took a seaplane to go see Maya when she was with my kids at my in-laws.
1588 01:20:25 -I wanted Maya's opinion on that island. -Why?
1589 01:20:28 Why is Maya's opinion so valuable to you?
1590 01:20:29 Because she's one of the best architects in the world, Sonny.
1591 01:20:32 And because she has become my best friend.
1592 01:20:34 -Maya is your best friend? -She's my bestie, Sonny.
1593 01:20:39 Whoa.
1594 01:20:42 Sonny Fisher, hi.
1595 01:20:45 -Yeah. -I did not know you had a girlfriend, man.
1596 01:20:50 -Yeah, well, you should. -Like a jackass.
1597 01:20:52 Yeah.
1598 01:20:54 You can be anything you wanna be.
1599 01:20:57 You can be absolutely anything you wanna be.
1600 01:21:01 -And all these--
1601 01:21:05 Hey, what's up, man?
1602 01:21:07 Hey, Dad.
1603 01:21:07 Guess what? Guess who's closing the talent show?
1604 01:21:10 -Are you ready? I'm ready.
1605 01:21:11 You, son.
1606 01:21:13 This is the perk of your dad being the director.
1607 01:21:17 All right, well, I'll let you get back to those keys, Mr. Closer.
1608 01:21:19 Yeah, Mr. Closer.
1609 01:21:21 All right, love you, son.
1610 01:21:22 -Good night, Dad. -Night.
1611 01:21:24 Aw, shit.
1612 01:21:35 Wow!
1613 01:21:41 Linus.
1614 01:21:43 That was shit.
1615 01:21:46 We're gonna go again from the top.
1616 01:21:48 You guys heard Mr. Fisher. We're gonna do it again.
1617 01:21:50 That's right.
1618 01:21:51 This time, put your heart into it.
1619 01:21:53 I know it's in there.
1620 01:21:55 Take me on a flight. Let's go! Two, three, four.
1621 01:22:04 -Stop it! Take five.
1622 01:22:05 'Cause, you're not-- You're tired.
1623 01:22:08 So let's turn these around so the customer can see them.
1624 01:22:17 Oh, the man of the hour. I am so excited.
1625 01:22:20 I'm gonna try my best, Crossing Guard Lenore.
1626 01:22:25 Hey, could you fill in for me next month while I'm on vacation?
1627 01:22:29 My husband's taking me to Sandals Barbados for our anniversary.
1628 01:22:32 Husband? I thought you were divorced.
1629 01:22:35 Let me guess, you heard I'm a sad old woman
1630 01:22:35 who bought her reflective vest on Amazon?
1631 01:22:39 I mean, people talk. That doesn't mean I listen.
1632 01:22:41 Sonny, I've been happily married for 35 years.
1633 01:22:44 And yeah, school crossing guard.
1634 01:22:47 I mean, nowhere near the excitement I had when I was a field agent at the Bureau.
1635 01:22:51 But I love giving back to my community.
1636 01:22:53 You know about that.
1637 01:22:55 Break a leg.
1638 01:22:57 Damn it, Alan.
1639 01:23:20 You got it, buddy. Come on.
1640 01:23:23 Dash.
1641 01:23:27 Hi, um, my name is Dash.
1642 01:23:30 Little Silk. Little Silk.
1643 01:23:32 Uh, Little Silk.
1644 01:23:35 Um, I'll be playing "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton.
1645 01:23:47 Sorry, I'll get it right.
1646 01:23:54 Let me show you. Let me help you. Let me help you.
1647 01:23:57 One second. One second, guys. Let me show you.
1648 01:24:00 Look. Remember?
1649 01:24:03 -Look at my hands. -Dad.
1650 01:24:04 -I'm looking at 'em, but I-- -Okay.
1651 01:24:06 Just stop!
1652 01:24:07 What do you mean, just stop? Come on, buddy.
1653 01:24:09 -I don't wanna play Vanessa Carlton. -Okay.
1654 01:24:11 I hate piano, and I wish you never made me do this!
1655 01:24:26 Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean--
1656 01:24:29 You're right.
1657 01:24:38 Same way I wanted to chair every committee,
1658 01:24:41 chaperone every field trip.
1659 01:24:44 I wanted you guys to think that I had value.
1660 01:24:47 In me doing that, I think I pushed away the most important people in my life.
1661 01:24:51 The ones that I love, you, your mother, I--
1662 01:24:56 My best friend.
1663 01:24:58 I mean, guys, I did a lot of stuff that I'm not proud of.
1664 01:25:01 I took a shit in my wife's client bed!
1665 01:25:03 Yeah, put a nice steamy nugget on his pillow.
1666 01:25:06 -Why? I don't know.
1667 01:25:08 Stole all the man's left shoes. He can't replace those.
1668 01:25:12 -Put a spatula in my ass and put it back.
1669 01:25:15 I hope he didn't use it again, but if he did,
1670 01:25:18 he ate ass!
1671 01:25:20 -And guess what? This type of stuff ends today.
1672 01:25:23 It ends now. So, Alan!
1673 01:25:24 -Yeah? -Buddy, it starts with you.
1674 01:25:27 In addition to filling in for Crossing Guard Lenore
1675 01:25:29 while she goes on vacation with her husband,
1676 01:25:32 uh, which is news to me, because you told me that she was divorced.
1677 01:25:38 My son, Justin, he's the one that said they got a divorce.
1678 01:25:41 -Yeah. Blame our child. -That's not me.
1679 01:25:46 -I gotta-- -He'll do it.
1680 01:25:47 -Babe! -He's available.
1681 01:25:48 And to the kids out there that didn't make the cut,
1682 01:25:52 you come on up here and put your talent on display too, because that's what it's about.
1683 01:25:55 It's about you having fun, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I tried to take that away.
1684 01:25:59 And son, I owe you a huge apology.
1685 01:26:03 Huge.
1686 01:26:05 -I'm sorry, and I love you. Okay? -I love you too.
1687 01:26:08 All right. Hey, man, now listen. I want you to do whatever you want to do.
1688 01:26:12 If you wanna sing, you wanna dance,
1689 01:26:14 whatever it is, have fun.
1690 01:26:17 I'm out of your way, guys.
1691 01:26:18 I'm out of your hair. Go get 'em, son!
1692 01:26:25 Sonny Fisher, everyone!
1693 01:26:31 The best dad in the world.
1694 01:26:33 Ah, thank you.
1695 01:26:34 This guy has had a tough few weeks.
1696 01:26:37 The man spent spring break by himself,
1697 01:26:39 ended up blowing our life savings,
1698 01:26:42 almost killing a tortoise,
1699 01:26:43 and destroying his marriage.
1700 01:26:45 -Well, yeah. I mean--
1701 01:26:47 Way to make the most of your "me time," Pops.
1702 01:26:53 I see you laughing, Alan Geller.
1703 01:26:54 Uh, did your wife give you permission?
1704 01:26:59 Y'all wanna hear some more jokes?
1705 01:27:07 Scoot over?
1706 01:27:11 Yeah.
1707 01:27:16 Nice speech.
1708 01:27:19 Thank you.
1709 01:27:24 I'm really sorry that I lent Huck that money without talking to you first.
1710 01:27:39 Yeah.
1711 01:27:40 I really think that you should call Armando back
1712 01:27:43 and consider taking that job,
1713 01:27:45 starting your own firm.
1714 01:27:56 it's hard.
1715 01:28:01 well, you're the glue.
1716 01:28:03 I can't even imagine starting my own firm without you
1717 01:28:07 in my corner.
1718 01:28:09 Look, Maya, I promise you that, uh,
1719 01:28:13 I got your back.
1720 01:28:14 I love you, Sonny.
1721 01:28:15 Love you too.
1722 01:28:27 I can't believe I cut this kid.
1723 01:28:29 You cut this kid?
1724 01:28:31 I'm such a dick.
1725 01:28:37 Stan Berman? What is this?
1726 01:28:40 Hey, Huck, I just got this alert that Stan Berman returned my money.
1727 01:28:43 Is everything okay? Anyway, I really need to talk to you.
1728 01:28:46 Something just went down in Dash's talent show,
1729 01:28:49 and it got me to thinking, man, just about some things that I did
1730 01:28:54 I wanna apologize.
1731 01:28:56 But not like this. Face-to-face.
1732 01:28:58 Where you at, Huck?
1733 01:29:00 The marina?
1734 01:29:02 Oh my God, Stan's about to go butcher on his ass.
1735 01:29:05 I'm coming, Huck. I'm coming.
1736 01:29:17 Oh God, Huck's in trouble.
1737 01:29:19 I needed backup. I didn't know who else to call.
1738 01:29:22 I got you, Big Dog. Let's go whoop some ass.
1739 01:29:25 -No, we're not whooping no ass. Come on! -Then why did I bring this?
1740 01:29:32 What are you doing? No, we don't need that. What is that?
1741 01:29:35 Throwing stars.
1742 01:29:37 -Just-- -Just give me two of them.
1743 01:29:39 Eddie, get the lobsters first before you get the guns.
1744 01:29:43 It's gonna melt. Come on, chop-chop. We gotta go guys, all right?
1745 01:30:05 -That's Dorito. -That's the bitch?
1746 01:30:07 -Yeah. -Do you want me to fight her?
1747 01:30:09 No, she got a flamethrower.
1748 01:30:10 -Oh shit! -Come on.
1749 01:30:12 Duck down.
1750 01:30:15 -Is that blood?
1751 01:30:16 Oh my God, that sounds like a bone saw.
1752 01:30:18 -Oh my God! -Huck!
1753 01:30:19 -I'm coming to save you, Huck!
1754 01:30:20 -I got two throwing stars and Thelma!
1755 01:30:24 -Oh, thank God.
1756 01:30:25 What are you guys doing?
1757 01:30:27 -What do you mean? Thelma, go stand guard. -Okay.
1758 01:30:29 -Hey, baby girl. -I'm so glad you're alive.
1759 01:30:31 -It's great to see you. What's going on? -Oh, you too.
1760 01:30:33 Dude, I thought you was getting murdered, man.
1761 01:30:35 I just saw somebody covered in blood.
1762 01:30:37 No, we had a strawberry daiquiri incident, stupid.
1763 01:30:40 Why are you making daiquiris, Huck?
1764 01:30:41 'Cause, it's my job. What do you think I'm doing?
1765 01:30:44 You know, I made a deal with Stan Berman to pay you your $47,000 back,
1766 01:30:47 and now I'm working off my debt.
1767 01:30:49 His business is taking him to Yemen, so that's where I'm gonna move.
1768 01:30:52 Yemen?
1769 01:30:53 Yeah, Yemen.
1770 01:30:54 Huck, your life is here.
1771 01:30:56 -Really? -Yes.
1772 01:30:57 Well, I have no career, no family,
1773 01:31:00 and you were right, Sonny, I'm no Clooney, and I'm okay with it.
1774 01:31:03 Stop comparing yourself to Clooney.
1775 01:31:05 Wanna know what I learned today at Dash's talent show?
1776 01:31:08 I learned that I have to embrace myself and the people I love for who they are.
1777 01:31:11 Bringing people closer together, Huck, that's your gift.
1778 01:31:14 -That's what you do. -Don't do this to me.
1779 01:31:16 -I'm not doing-- -Don't do this to me right now, okay?
1780 01:31:18 This is my way out. I got us into this. I'm gonna get us out.
1781 01:31:21 Okay? Get off the bow, and let me go batten down the hatches
1782 01:31:24 and all that other boat talk.
1783 01:31:26 Huck, can you hear me out, please?
1784 01:31:29 I'm busy.
1785 01:31:30 You're opening and closing the door, not battening anything.
1786 01:31:36 And you're great at throwing parties. That's what you do well.
1787 01:31:39 And you know what I'm great at? Entertaining kids.
1788 01:31:41 So here's my plan. I go, I give Stan back the money.
1789 01:31:45 Right? And you and I, we start a business where we throw kids' parties.
1790 01:31:49 We'll make the money back in no time. I'll get you off the goddamn boat.
1791 01:31:53 We'll put that stuff behind us. How does that sound?
1792 01:31:57 I love you, buddy. I don't want to go to Yemen.
1793 01:32:00 -I know you-- -Let's go, idiots!
1794 01:32:02 Yo, I just took the biggest shit in the loan shark's bed.
1795 01:32:07 Why would you do that?
1796 01:32:08 I thought we were doing the little annoying things like before,
1797 01:32:11 you know, like it's our thing?
1798 01:32:16 You know how long it took me to set this table?
1799 01:32:19 How long's it gonna take to mess it up?
1800 01:32:21 Huh?
1801 01:32:22 This lobster needs to be free.
1802 01:32:24 Yeah!
1803 01:32:25 He likes it spicy.
1804 01:32:27 Look at this, guys.
1805 01:32:29 Put the claw--
1806 01:32:31 Let the claw get in my ass so he can eat some claw ass.
1807 01:32:33 Oh my God.
1808 01:32:36 Here, man, have a little dick pepper? Watch out!
1809 01:32:38 I got it. Let's see what you do when you got a little dick pepper.
1810 01:32:42 -No, what are you doing? Stop. No. -I'm grinding pepper on your dick.
1811 01:32:45 -Why would you do that? -You said you wanted dick pepper.
1812 01:32:47 Then you gave me the prank, stupid.
1813 01:32:49 I'm starting to itch bad. This stuff is hot.
1814 01:32:51 Let's get out of here.
1815 01:32:52 Come on.
1816 01:32:53 I love you, man. I love you guys.
1817 01:32:55 Okay, so this is mine. We gotta go 'cause I got pepper on my dick.
1818 01:32:58 -We gotta go. -Sorry about that.
1819 01:32:59 -Come on! Come on! -Yeah!
1820 01:33:17 All right, guys. Uh, let's go zebra, tiger, zebra, tiger with the lunchboxes.
1821 01:33:21 Just makes it a better flow.
1822 01:33:23 Whoa, Stew! Oh my God, I love the new look, man.
1823 01:33:26 Oh, thanks. Can't call me Combover Stew anymore.
1824 01:33:29 -Best part is Jeremiah's super into it. -What?
1825 01:33:32 Yeah, he calls me his little Howie Mandel.
1826 01:33:36 -So-- -Okay.
1827 01:33:37 Sonny! Hey, that vintage porn inspired these pants, brother.
1828 01:33:40 I can tell.
1829 01:33:41 Hey, hey, got some iced tea for you.
1830 01:33:43 -Don't even ask, Mom. -Right on time. Thank you.
1831 01:33:45 Thank you.
1832 01:33:47 Maya, Sonny,
1833 01:33:48 your relationship has been my inspiration.
1834 01:33:51 Oh my God.
1835 01:33:52 Yeah. So I thought you two should be the first to see my new erotic novel.
1836 01:34:00 -Oh, you see, um-- -Wow. Behind the Queen.
1837 01:34:02 -Yes. -Yeah.
1838 01:34:03 Have you read the book, Pops? -Read it? I lived it.
1839 01:34:07 -That's enough. Can I talk to you? -I'm gonna go get a drink.
1840 01:34:10 -You want me to sign it for you? -No, no, I don't.
1841 01:34:12 Tortoises are the best pets you can have.
1842 01:34:15 Okay? Any questions?
1843 01:34:16 Hey, bestie! What's up? Having fun?
1844 01:34:18 Sonny, my man. Welcome. My house is your house, okay?
1845 01:34:21 And hey, the bathroom is over there.
1846 01:34:24 I know why you're saying that.
1847 01:34:25 Well-deserved.
1848 01:34:26 Alan, hey!
1849 01:34:29 -Hey. -It's Skyler, from the club.
1850 01:34:32 -Hey! -I haven't seen you in so long.
1851 01:34:34 -Oh my God! -Sorry, how do you two know each other?
1852 01:34:36 -The club. -The club, from the coffee club.
1853 01:34:39 She's a barista.
1854 01:34:40 At a coffee club?
1855 01:34:41 She sure is.
1856 01:34:42 -You should come by, soon. -I will come by. I need coffee.
1857 01:34:46 -It's the best coffee. -It is pretty goddamn good.
1858 01:34:48 -What do you get at the coffee club? -A drip. I get a drip.
1859 01:34:52 Dudes, I just felt a serious connection with your friend Jill.
1860 01:34:55 -Well, that's nice, Huck. I like it. -Well, well. Hey, Jill.
1861 01:34:59 -Hey, Jill! -How's the ex-husband?
1862 01:35:01 He living. I don't know.
1863 01:35:03 And the two boys under ten, how they doing?
1864 01:35:04 -Raising themselves at this point. -Good. Glad the whole team is fine.
1865 01:35:08 -We are fine. -What do you mean, two boys under ten?
1866 01:35:10 -She got a whole situation. -What?
1867 01:35:12 Stepdad Huck. -No.
1868 01:35:14 -That's such a Clooney move.
1869 01:35:15 -She's a sweetheart. -Does he have step-kids?
1870 01:35:17 No, he doesn't. Clooney doesn't have step-kids.
1871 01:35:20 I'm gonna do it.