老爹们 Old Dads(2023)(CN/EN)Subtitles

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1 00:00:54 这是我每一天当中最好的时刻This is the best part of my day
2 00:00:57 我一直想当爸爸 花了我46年的时间才实现I always wanted to be a dad. It just took 46 years for it to happen.
3 00:01:02 别人问我为什么 我就让他们滚开When people ask me why
4 00:01:06 或者我就说我还没遇见我的真命天女Or I just say I hadn't met the right woman yet.
5 00:01:09 现在她就在那里了 莉亚Ah
6 00:01:12 肚子里已经有了第二个 依然很美Got the second one in the oven
7 00:01:15 据她所说 我之所以这么晚才成爹According to her
8 00:01:17 是因为我有个不幸的童年is because I had an unhappy childhood.
9 00:01:21 但我不会抱怨But I'm not gonna whine about it.
10 00:01:23 我又不是素食主义者That's what vegans do.
11 00:01:25 我只希望我的孩子们 能准备好面对这个世界的一切I'm just gonna make sure my kids are prepared for whatever this world has to offer.
12 00:01:31 慢点Slow down.
13 00:01:33 不幸的是 我已经不知道那会是什么了Unfortunately
14 00:01:37 不知道为什么 我没法把孩子留在车里For some reason
15 00:01:39 自己去便利店买东西to run into a convenience store
16 00:01:41 而那个便利店卖的食物全是激素but that same store can sell him food so full of hormones
17 00:01:44 他吃了 到三年级就得长胡子he'll be able to grow a beard by the third grade.
18 00:01:47 但没人在乎But nobody gives a shit
19 00:01:48 因为都忙着在网上看小黄片打飞机呢because they're too busy jerking off to Internet porn.
20 00:01:52 兄弟Buddy.
21 00:01:53 你怎么样啊 小杰宝?- What do you say there
22 00:01:55 - 该死的... - 你去吧- Oh
23 00:01:56 我要杀了那个小混球!Goddamn. I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch!
24 00:01:59 嘿!把棍子给我!Hey! Give me the stick! Give me the stick! Give me the stick!
25 00:02:05 嘿 小家伙 怎么了?你没事吧?Hey
26 00:02:08 科林推我了Colin pushed me.
27 00:02:10 是的 我知道Yeah
28 00:02:11 如果你玩危险的游戏 就会发生危险的事情 对吗?I told you if you play rough
29 00:02:14 -来 我看看 -科林 把棍子给我!- Here
30 00:02:16 还好 抹点土就行了小家伙Ah
31 00:02:21 就这样There you go.
32 00:02:23 你还是带他去检查一下 或者涂点抗生素软膏You might wanna get him checked or at least put a little Neosporin on it.
33 00:02:26 有可能感染的That thing could get infected.
34 00:02:29 - 你是谁? - 我是亨特·路易- Who are you? - I'm
35 00:02:31 我是丽莎的丈夫 我们住在对面 谢谢你们邀请我Lisa's husband. Just moved in across the street. Thanks for having me.
36 00:02:34 你是医生吗?还是什么网上专家?Oh
37 00:02:37 这是常识 伤口要保持干净It's just common knowledge. You wanna keep the cut clean.
38 00:02:39 是吗?听着 我养的是个男子汉 不是娘娘腔Oh
39 00:02:42 谢谢你的关心So I appreciate your concern.
40 00:02:43 你干嘛不继续喝你的低度气泡酒But why don't you just go back to your hard seltzer
41 00:02:46 上推特分享你做英雄的故事呢?and
42 00:02:51 好吧Okay.
43 00:02:52 爸爸你说了不好的话Daddy
44 00:02:54 是的 我知道 小家伙 有时候你不得不这样Yeah
45 00:02:57 别告诉你妈妈 她会杀了我 我爱你 来吧 我们起来Don't tell your mother. She'll kill me. I love you. Come on. Let's get up.
46 00:03:00 等一下杰克!等一下!Hang on
47 00:03:04 科林有话要跟你说Colin's got something he wants to say to you
48 00:03:06 但是爸爸 他先推的我...But
49 00:03:07 不行 我不管这些 明白吗?Hey
50 00:03:09 不可以打人 不可以打朋友You don't hit somebody with a stick. We don't hit our friends.
51 00:03:12 我们道歉吧 跟奈特说对不起Let's apologize now. Say you're sorry to Nate. Come on.
52 00:03:15 不要!No!
53 00:03:16 喂 拜托 别哭啊- Hey
54 00:03:18 来吧 没事的孩子 就说声对不起Come on. It's okay
55 00:03:20 我只是让你道个歉 用不着这么抓狂I'm just asking you to apologize. You don't gotta freak out.
56 00:03:23 糟了- Hey
57 00:03:25 这是怎么回事?他叫什么?Okay
58 00:03:28 他用棍子打了奈特 我让他道歉Because he hit Nate with a stick
59 00:03:35 你现在感受到的 就是你的感受 明白吗?What you're feeling now is what you're feeling
60 00:03:41 把它释放出来Let it out.
61 00:03:46 - 我觉得这样不... - 我不要你觉得 康纳- I don't think that-- - I don't need you to think now.
62 00:03:48 你需要尊重你儿子的自主性You need to respect your son's autonomy
63 00:03:51 真正地 让他自己消化这种越界是怎么影响and really let him process how crossing this boundary
64 00:03:53 他那不断发展的道德准则的is affecting his ever-evolving moral code.
65 00:03:56 我要我的棍子!I want my stick!
66 00:03:58 棍子在那里?Stick
67 00:04:00 在...It's...
68 00:04:03 杰克 奈特在学校表现如何?Jack. How's Nate doing in school?
69 00:04:06 很好 他有些进步了 你们家那个呢?Great
70 00:04:09 他很好 超级棒的He's great. He's perfect.
71 00:04:15 是吗?Yeah?
72 00:04:19 我说兄弟 我...Come on
73 00:04:22 - 不! - 喂!- No! - Hey
74 00:04:23 天啊!Jesus!
75 00:04:24 我迟早要杀了你 来 我们去喝一杯I'm gonna murder you. I swear to God. Let's go get a drink. Come on.
76 00:04:28 - 这他妈是有多可悲? - 他自作自受- How fucking sad is that? - He did it to himself.
77 00:04:31 是的 确实Yes
78 00:04:32 - 不要! - 拜托 别这样- No! - Come on
79 00:04:33 你看到了吗?那孩子简直疯了Did you see that? That kid is a maniac.
80 00:04:37 对 他是不太正常Yeah
81 00:04:38 我得去说说 这有点过了I'm gonna say something to Cara. It's too much.
82 00:04:40 不 什么都别说No
83 00:04:42 我不会对她发飙的 我就跟她聊聊I'm not gonna freak out on her. I'm just gonna talk to her.
84 00:04:44 - 两个母亲之间的谈话 是当妈的日常 - 迈克 她该去说说吗?- Like
85 00:04:49 维持友谊的三大最高准则Three cardinal rules of friendship.
86 00:04:50 不谈政治 不谈宗教Don't bring up politics. Don't bring up religion.
87 00:04:53 还有不要教别人怎么养孩子And don't try to tell people how to raise their kids.
88 00:04:56 不好意思 迈克 我不知道你还是谈心节目的主持人呢Oh
89 00:05:01 哈佛 杜克Harvard. Duke.
90 00:05:03 女朋友 前妻Girlfriend
91 00:05:08 - 貌似无懈可击哦 亲爱的 - 貌似而已- It's kinda airtight
92 00:05:12 她这话是什么意思?What'd she mean by that?
93 00:05:14 她就是想怼一怼你Uh
94 00:05:16 听着 我们很为你们感到高兴Look
95 00:05:18 不知道你什么时候 可以把事情办了 娶了她We're wondering when you're gonna make an honest woman out of Britney.
96 00:05:21 我跟你说过了 她不想结婚也不想生小孩I told you. She doesn't wanna get married. She doesn't wanna have kids.
97 00:05:25 她想做的只有操我和健身All she wants to do is fuck me and go to the gym.
98 00:05:29 牛逼了 迈克 你找到天下无双的宝了Goddamn
99 00:05:39 怎么了?What?
100 00:05:41 我们是一队的It's a team sport.
101 00:05:45 你没事吧 小家伙?You okay
102 00:05:47 老爹们You okay
103 00:05:47 ♪ One lifeYou okay
104 00:05:53 (弗兰克餐馆)You okay
105 00:05:55 (布罗迪·史蒂文斯 818洛杉矶)♪ I'm takin' flight I said
106 00:05:57 (凯迪拉克之家)♪ I'm takin' flight I said
107 00:05:59 (皮克威克保龄球馆)♪ I'm takin' flight I said
108 00:06:00 (街角小屋餐厅)♪ I'm takin' flight I said
109 00:06:01 ♪ Stand tall♪ I'm takin' flight I said
110 00:06:04 三连胜经典♪ I'm takin' flight I said
111 00:06:05 这是我和朋友23年前一起开的公司This is the company my friends and I started 23 years ago.
112 00:06:09 我们做高端复古球衣We make high-end throwback jerseys.
113 00:06:11 但在别人的劝说下 我答应要卖了公司But I got talked into selling the company
114 00:06:13 好让我有钱送儿子去读私立学校so I could afford to send my son to private school
115 00:06:16 那种小孩都打扮得 跟新闻主播一样的学校where all the kids are dressed like fucking news anchors.
116 00:06:19 这违背了我所坚信的一切 但为了孩子 我什么都愿意Goes against everything I believe in
117 00:06:23 老兄 你在干什么呢?Dude
118 00:06:25 你看起来 就好像刚撞死了一条狗一样 来吧You look like you just ran over a dog. Come on.
119 00:06:28 今天可是我们的好日子It's a great fucking day for us.
120 00:06:30 是吗?Is it?
121 00:06:32 我们马上就要变成自己公司的员工了We're about to become employees of our own company.
122 00:06:35 杰克 把公司卖掉 老板还留在公司里Jack
123 00:06:39 这种事情比发现一个 已经有人的国家还要古老is older than discovering a country that already has people.
124 00:06:42 可不是嘛There you go.
125 00:06:43 且不说 你合理的抱怨时机应该是在签约前Not to mention
126 00:06:47 - 那时我确实抱怨了 - 你什么都抱怨- I did complain about it. - Yeah
127 00:06:50 我没有Oh
128 00:06:52 放轻松 一切都会很好的Relax. It's gonna be great.
129 00:06:54 你说得倒轻巧 你是没有一点压力啊Well
130 00:06:57 没错 你没有孩子要养Yeah
131 00:06:59 - 大学学费也都有了 - 是的- You got college taken care of. - Yeah.
132 00:07:01 现在要干嘛呢? 把你孩子的房间租出去吗 抠门鬼?What are gonna do now? Airbnb your kids' rooms
133 00:07:05 你们就笑吧 混蛋 等着看我接下来会有什么吧Laugh now
134 00:07:08 好啊 我们等着Yeah
135 00:07:11 朋友们 好吗?What's up
136 00:07:13 - 早上好 各位! - 早上好- Morning
137 00:07:14 早上好Morning.
138 00:07:16 你好吗 莫妮卡小姐姐?Monica
139 00:07:18 早上好 康纳Good morning
140 00:07:19 嘿 你有去听利尔·贝比的新歌吗?Yo
141 00:07:22 昨晚刚发在推特上的dropped on Twitter last night?
142 00:07:24 - 没有 - 什么?砰 来走一个- No. - What? Boom. Come on. Pound it out.
143 00:07:26 不用了 谢谢Ah
144 00:07:29 - 啊 天哪 - 他又来了- Oh God. - There he goes again.
145 00:07:32 可别小瞧利尔·贝比 还有其他叫宝或贝的歌手Don't sleep on Lil Baby
146 00:07:34 我听说大贝贝很快要出新作品了 绝对会杀疯了I heard Big Baby got something coming out too. It's gonna be fire.
147 00:07:37 大贝贝?Big Baby?
148 00:07:38 没错 你对他完全不了吗?Yeah
149 00:07:41 我觉得应该是没有I don't believe I have
150 00:07:42 搞什么?他可酷炫了What? He's fleek.
151 00:07:44 他可真是酷炫到绝绝子啊- Oh. - Yeah
152 00:07:48 来吧 康纳- Connor
153 00:07:49 - 好哟 我撤了 - 好的- Aight. Gotta bounce. - Okay.
154 00:07:52 爱你哦 小姐姐 爱你哦 朋友们- One love. One love
155 00:07:58 她永远不会觉得你很酷的You know
156 00:08:00 我很酷的 抱歉让你感受到危机了I am cool
157 00:08:03 你给所有人都带来了危机呢Oh
158 00:08:04 好了你们俩 别吵了 我们得给那家伙留个好印象All right
159 00:08:09 你说的“那家伙”是指 年纪只有我们一半的傻逼新老板吗?Wait. By "this dude
160 00:08:13 如果我是你 杰克 我会给他一个机会I don't know
161 00:08:15 我听说阿斯彭的风格 是纯正的协作领导作风I hear Aspen has a real collaborative leadership style.
162 00:08:20 就他?那家伙看起来 就像在演一部关于清洁工的音乐剧That guy? He looks like he's in a musical about janitors.
163 00:08:24 注意点 杰克 大老板们可喜欢他了Play nice
164 00:08:27 要想拿工资 得有工作啊And if we wanna get paid
165 00:08:30 先生们 真是荣幸啊Gentlemen. What an honor.
166 00:08:33 阿斯彭·贝尔Aspen Bell.
167 00:08:33 迈克- Mike. - Uh-huh.
168 00:08:35 - 嘿!康纳 - 我也要来一下吗?- Hey! Connor. - Oh! I'm gonna get some of that? Ah!
169 00:08:38 - 杰克 不错哦 - 嘿 你好吗?没事- Jack. Good. - Hey
170 00:08:40 好嘞 大家都坐吧 别拘束Okay. Uh
171 00:08:44 哇!三连胜的三位大将都在了Wow! The trifecta behind Trifecta.
172 00:08:49 这巨人的肩膀可够宽的This is some broad shoulders to stand on
173 00:08:51 我们进入正题吧 这是你们的公司 对吧?Let's get right to it. Look
174 00:08:56 你们创立的You built it.
175 00:08:58 我想让你们知道 我是真他妈的敬佩你们所做的一切And I want you to know that I respect the shit out of what you've done here.
176 00:09:02 我说 真的假的 复古球衣?I mean
177 00:09:04 你们不仅仅是开创了这个风尚 你们把它做到了完美You didn't just start the trend. You perfected it.
178 00:09:08 这布料的透气性The breathability of this fabric.
179 00:09:11 一定是神的手缝制的Must have been sewn by the gods.
180 00:09:12 实际上是韩国城的勤劳妇女们缝的Actually
181 00:09:17 但谢谢你 我们非常自豪But
182 00:09:20 当然了And you should be.
183 00:09:21 你们应该 对你们在这里所做的一切感到自豪You should be very proud of everything that you've done here.
184 00:09:24 并且请记住 我的门永远对你们开着And I want you to know that my door will always be open to you.
185 00:09:28 不过 我还是得打破一些东西 因为我是个颠覆者But I'm gonna break some eggs because I'm a disruptor.
186 00:09:32 这写在我的基因里了It's in my DNA.
187 00:09:34 这是什么意思?What does that mean?
188 00:09:35 意思是我们要掉转枪头了It means that we're gonna pivot.
189 00:09:39 现在我们是一个 性别中立 碳中和 属于21世纪的This company is now a gender-neutral
190 00:09:42 生活方式服装品牌21st-century lifestyle apparel brand.
191 00:09:44 要做的第一步 就是解放所有生于1988年以前的人And the first step in that is to liberate everyone born before 1988.
192 00:09:49 为什么?我们所有人吗?For what? All of us?
193 00:09:53 搞什么啊?那相当于半个公司的人了Whoa
194 00:09:56 - 冷静点 - 你冷静点- Calm down
195 00:09:59 - 走吧 - 达米安35岁了?该死他保养得真好- Let's go. - Damien's 35? Goddamn
196 00:10:02 不需要提前两周通知吗? 你不能就这么直接让他们走人Hey
197 00:10:05 别碰我Don't touch me.
198 00:10:06 这些人为公司付出了全部These people put their hearts and souls into this business.
199 00:10:09 所以我们给他们注册了招聘网站 很快他们就会有新工作了And we signed them up for Zip Recruiter. They're gonna have a new job in no time.
200 00:10:13 你看 我们生活在一个 指数般快速增长的时代Look
201 00:10:18 杰克 变化和发展 这些事情发生的速度Jack
202 00:10:22 要比你年轻时快得多了when you were young.
203 00:10:24 看看我 我今年28岁I mean
204 00:10:25 但我已经 在15家不同的初创公司工作过了I'm 28 years old
205 00:10:29 - 你觉得这是值得炫耀的吗? - 当然- Is that something you wanna brag about? - Absolutely.
206 00:10:32 成功从不顾及你的感受Success does not care about the way that you feel.
207 00:10:36 我希望人们都能面带微笑地来我这里I want people to come in here with a smile on their face
208 00:10:38 但他们得有一个穿了防弹衣的灵魂but I need them to have Kevlar in their souls.
209 00:10:42 如果这都做不到If that's too much to ask
210 00:10:44 那我可不在乎你干了多久了then I don't care how long you've been here.
211 00:10:47 我就要请你离开了You're gonna be out the door.
212 00:10:50 这是在威胁我吗?Is that a threat?
213 00:10:51 不是 这是我坦诚直白的领导风格No
214 00:10:54 我很关心你Look
215 00:10:56 实际上 有个女人我想让你去见见In fact
216 00:10:59 她是我妈的老朋友了 她成功地帮助了很多人She's an old friend of my mom. She has had a lot of success
217 00:11:03 跟你有相同处境的人 帮助他们抑制这种尖锐的倾向helping people in your situation to restrain their aggressive tendencies.
218 00:11:12 你想让我去看心理医生?You want me to go see a shrink?
219 00:11:13 对你表示感恩I appreciate you.
220 00:11:18 “对你表示感恩”"I appreciate you." "I appreciate you."
221 00:11:21 该死的反社会潮人势利眼混蛋Fucking sociopath hipster douche.
222 00:11:24 在我的公司里威胁我是吗?Gonna threaten me in my own goddamn building?
223 00:11:26 让我敲晕你 扔进脏衣服袋子里I'll fucking knock you out
224 00:11:28 让他们永远都别他妈再想见到你and they'll never fucking see you again.
225 00:11:31 我的天!Oh my God!
226 00:11:33 快点啊!我要迟到了Come on! I'm gonna be late.
227 00:11:36 就只他妈坐在那里一动不动Just fucking sitting there.
228 00:11:40 看看这个该死的傻逼Oh
229 00:11:43 30多岁的人了 还骑着小孩的玩具在马路中央转悠!Fucking 30-year-old man riding a kids' toy right in the middle of the fucking street!
230 00:11:48 长点心吧!- Get over!
231 00:11:49 他在干什么? 在即兴表演吗?他在拍短视频吗?What's he doing now? Is he freestyling? Is he making a YouTube video?
232 00:11:54 我的老天!你是有多自恋?Oh my God! How fucking self-involved are you?
233 00:11:59 道路是共享的!Share the road!
234 00:12:00 这我同意!Hey
235 00:12:01 那你为什么不到 那该死的人行道上去呢?So
236 00:12:06 给我比的吗?你突然有种了啊?Oh
237 00:12:10 你这个混蛋死基佬 你去哪儿 ?Where you going
238 00:12:18 看什么?What?
239 00:12:20 你上次看见有人在“停”的指示牌前面 停下是什么时候?When was the last time you saw one of those bastards stop at a stop sign?
240 00:12:23 然后他们就会被撞了 再把它说成是无法预料的悲剧Then they get hit and frost the thing like some unforeseen tragedy happened.
241 00:12:28 我说错了吗?Am I wrong?
242 00:12:30 是的Yes.
243 00:12:32 真有毒啊Toxic.
244 00:12:40 看看这个 可不是嘛Oh
245 00:12:42 难以置信Unbelievable.
246 00:12:43 每天有500个人来这里 却只有20个车位500 people come here every day
247 00:12:46 买下一个停车场要多少钱?How much money do you have to pay to get a parking lot?
248 00:12:50 这写的什么?What does that say?
249 00:12:51 我可不要读这些个鬼I'm not reading all that fucking shit.
250 00:12:54 不管了 快进快出Eh
251 00:13:02 你们每晚都有给孩子读书吗?So
252 00:13:04 我们...Uh
253 00:13:05 不好意思 先生?Oh
254 00:13:07 嗯?Yeah?
255 00:13:08 - 你接孩子迟了 - 对不起 没有停车位了- You were late for pickup. - I'm sorry. There was no parking spots.
256 00:13:13 - 爸爸! - 奈特!嘿 我的小家伙- Daddy! Daddy! - Nate! Hey
257 00:13:17 你好吗?Ah! What's up? What's up?
258 00:13:20 - 我想你了 - 我也是- I've missed you
259 00:13:22 - 在学校怎么样? - 挺好的- How was school? - Good.
260 00:13:25 - 你接孩子迟了 - 我告诉过你我找不到停车位- You were late for pickup. - Yeah
261 00:13:29 抱歉 我们不接受借口I'm sorry. We don't accept excuses.
262 00:13:32 不是借口 是事实Wasn't an excuse. Just what happened.
263 00:13:34 而且我只是 晚到了两分钟吧 对吗 小家伙?Plus
264 00:13:37 - 你看了学校的指导手册吗? - 看了- Have you read the school guidebook? - Yep.
265 00:13:45 怎么了?What?
266 00:13:47 每迟到一分钟需要交一元钱It's a dollar for every minute you're late.
267 00:13:49 当然Of course it is.
268 00:13:52 好的Okay.
269 00:13:56 - 这是五块钱 我就这么多了 - 不用了 第一次违反不需要交钱- Here's five bucks. It's all I got. - Oh
270 00:13:59 是吗?那在我放下 我的孩子之前你为什么不告诉我?Really? Well
271 00:14:03 如果你是真的读了手册 而不是说说而已Well
272 00:14:07 不用我说你也知道I wouldn't have to tell you anything.
273 00:14:10 - 是有什么问题吗 女士? - 实际上...- Is there
274 00:14:13 如果你对我有意见If you have some issue with me
275 00:14:14 你就私下把我叫到一边跟我说you take me aside in private
276 00:14:17 你不应该在孩子面前训斥我You don't dress me down in front of my kid.
277 00:14:19 我付你钱 是让你教育我的儿子 不是我I'm paying you to educate my son
278 00:14:22 在“小小心灵” 我们相信 教育的义务应该延展到家庭Oh. Well
279 00:14:27 - 是吗?好棒啊 - 再说一次 你什么都会知道Oh
280 00:14:30 如果你能拿起手册 然后...And once again
281 00:14:32 真要命啊!我会读那该死的手册的!Jesus Christ! I read the goddamn fucking guidebook!
282 00:14:34 行了吧 你个矮胖婊子?All right
283 00:14:38 哇!Wow!
284 00:14:41 我的天Oh my God.
285 00:14:46 我们走吧 奈特Let's go
286 00:14:48 爸爸 什么是婊子?Daddy
287 00:14:50 就是你迟到两秒钟就要针对你的人Somebody that gives you shit for being two seconds late for pickup.
288 00:14:53 你好吗?How you doing?
289 00:14:56 好嘞 我们到家了 现在要做什么?Okay
290 00:14:58 忘了发生的事 把冰淇淋吃了Forget what happened and finish my ice cream.
291 00:15:01 没错That's right.
292 00:15:05 小家伙 好吃吗?Hey
293 00:15:07 你最棒了 我们把嘴快速地擦干净Ah
294 00:15:13 对 好了Yep
295 00:15:15 我们进去的时候 就只表现出高兴 好吗?真棒All right. Nothing but happiness when we go in there
296 00:15:19 妈妈!Mommy!
297 00:15:20 嘿!你好吗 小家伙?Well
298 00:15:23 - 你的会开得怎么样 亲爱的? - 很好!接孩子顺利吗?- Hey
299 00:15:26 很好 很顺畅 也平平无奇Oh
300 00:15:29 嘿 你想看《汪汪一对宝》吗?Hey
301 00:15:31 -《汪汪一对宝》! -《汪汪一对宝》赞!- Puppy Dog Pals! - Puppy Dog Pals. Yay!
302 00:15:34 杰克 平平无奇? 我刚跟 路易·史密克尔·特纳博士通了电话Jack. Uneventful? I just got off the phone with Doctor Lois Shmieckel-Turner.
303 00:15:40 哦 老天Oh boy.
304 00:15:41 管奈特的校长叫矮胖的婊子 这也叫“平平无奇”吗?What is uneventful about calling Nate's principal a stumpy "C"?
305 00:15:46 如果你看到她跟我说话的样子 你就知道这是一个相当正常的反应了If you saw the way she was talking to me
306 00:15:49 - 谁的反应? - 但凡一个有一丁点尊严的人- For who? - Anyone with a shred of dignity.
307 00:15:52 小点声Keep it down.
308 00:15:55 但凡一个有一丁点尊严的人Anyone with a shred of dignity.
309 00:15:57 她跟我说话就好像我是个混子爸爸Okay
310 00:15:59 就因为我晚出现了那么一分钟的时间for showing up a minute and a half late for pickup.
311 00:16:02 天哪!你的尊严在这里一点也不重要Oh my God! This has nothing to do with your dignity.
312 00:16:04 我们儿子将来的学业才是最重要的This has everything to do with our son's academic future.
313 00:16:08 你知道路易·史密克尔-特纳博士 有多大的权力吗?Do you know how powerful Doctor Lois Shmieckel-Turner is?
314 00:16:12 她的幼儿园推荐报告Her kindergarten recommendation
315 00:16:14 完全可以决定 他能不能上“青草地小学”makes or breaks whether he gets into The Meadows.
316 00:16:16 那我们换一所私立学校不就行了Great. So we'll send him to a different private school.
317 00:16:19 不管他去哪里 都需要她给推荐She writes the recommendation no matter where he goes.
318 00:16:22 那就公立学校 我们看过的那家 也没那么糟 而且是免费的Great! Then it's public school. That place wasn't that bad
319 00:16:25 你开什么玩笑? Are you kidding me?
320 00:16:26 那地方就有那么糟That place was that bad.
321 00:16:28 你承认了...- You admitted that-- - Sh.
322 00:16:30 那地方就有那么糟That one was that bad.
323 00:16:31 而且是你说的那很糟 好吗?And you said it was that bad. Okay?
324 00:16:34 这些我们已经讨论过了 我们还查了所有的数据信息We have been over this. We've looked at all the data.
325 00:16:37 真是要了命的数据! 你们这代人和数据Oh
326 00:16:41 - 什么? - 数据，数据，数据...- What? - The data
327 00:16:42 我给你一些数据Here's some data for you
328 00:16:44 不是你所有的需求都能被满足 这其实是个好事Not having your every need catered to is actually a good thing.
329 00:16:47 - 我上的就是公立学校 结果好得很呢 - 你就是在那里学说话的?I went to public school. I turned out fine. Where you learned to talk to principals?
330 00:16:50 我是在那里学会要起来为自己辩护No
331 00:16:52 你得搞定这件事 而且你需要跟人聊聊你的情绪问题You need to fix this. And you need to talk to someone about your anger.
332 00:16:57 我的老天 又是心理咨询!又来了Oh
333 00:17:00 - 很好 就这样 - 总是说心理咨询- Great. Fine. Fine! - Always with the therapy.
334 00:17:01 去吧 握紧拳头 气呼呼地活在这个世界上吧Go ahead
335 00:17:04 但是明天你要去学校But tomorrow
336 00:17:06 你要去道歉and you are going to apologize.
337 00:17:08 好啊 没问题 你以为我会怕吗?我现在就过去Good
338 00:17:13 - 很好 - 我也不是第一次叫别人那个了Great. She's not the first person I ever called that word.
339 00:17:21 别担心 我会搞定的Don't worry. I'll smooth it right over.
340 00:17:25 杰克 莉亚 非常感谢你们能过来Jack
341 00:17:28 非常感谢您愿意见我们 真的Thank you so much for meeting with us
342 00:17:32 史密克尔·特纳博士 我想...Yes. Doctor Shmieckel-Turner
343 00:17:34 请叫我L博士Uh
344 00:17:36 - L博士 我只想说... - 别 先别说你的想法- Doctor L
345 00:17:42 好吧- Oh
346 00:17:51 等下 哇!Oh
347 00:17:53 我们要在全校人的面前说吗?We're gonna do this in front of the whole school?
348 00:17:55 额...- Um...
349 00:17:57 与其说是一所学校 我们更倾向于认为这是一个村落We view this more as a village than a school.
350 00:18:01 我们坚定地崇尚 恢复性司法 或者说盖卡卡法庭And we firmly believe in the practice of restorative justice
351 00:18:09 一种在卢旺达很常见的操作 尤其在他们的屠杀事件后A common practice in Rwanda which was especially effective
352 00:18:13 格外有效in the aftermath of their genocide.
353 00:18:17 请加入到其他家长中间去吧And please
354 00:18:20 好Oh. Okay.
355 00:18:23 好吧 哇!Okay. Wow!
356 00:18:26 来的人真不少啊That's quite a turnout.
357 00:18:31 好吧Um... All right
358 00:18:33 我想 我反思了一下 昨天我确实没控制好我的情绪I guess
359 00:18:37 我希望当时我能在用词上稍作调整and
360 00:18:41 好吧?All right?
361 00:18:43 我很抱歉你们之中的六位听见了 然后告诉了剩下的40人And I am sorry that six of you heard this and then told the other 40.
362 00:18:48 对听到我的话的孩子们 我想说And
363 00:18:50 永远都不可以说那些话it's never okay to say those words
364 00:18:52 我的行为非常非常的错 好吗?I... I was very
365 00:18:56 就这样了 祝大家有个美好的早晨 继续使用纸吸管吧So that's it. Have a nice morning and
366 00:19:00 我知道它们会变软 但很显然它们对乌龟有好处I know they get soggy
367 00:19:03 等会 杰克- Thank you. - Okay. No
368 00:19:07 嗯 我们很感激你刚刚说的这些Yeah. We... we appreciate the words
369 00:19:11 但是疗愈才刚刚开始but the process of healing has only just begun.
370 00:19:16 - 朱迪 请说 - 好的 谢谢- Yes
371 00:19:18 我只想表达我有多么地受伤Um
372 00:19:22 凯利先生 你知道吗? 用那个词称呼别人Mr. Kelly
373 00:19:26 就像用另一个不好的词 不过对象是女人is like the N-word but for women?
374 00:19:31 哦是的 没错 我想确实是的Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah
375 00:19:35 除了400年的奴隶制 和延续下来的系统性压迫You know
376 00:19:39 我觉得你的观点非常站得住脚Other than that
377 00:19:42 咪咪 请说Yes
378 00:19:44 即使我当时不在Even though I wasn't there
379 00:19:46 光想想那种话是在孩子面...just knowing that language like that was used in front of the child--
380 00:19:53 要了亲命了Oh
381 00:19:58 布莱恩 请说Please. Brian.
382 00:20:01 作为孩子的家长 以及一个长期代谢低下的人As a parent of a child and someone with chronically low metabolism
383 00:20:05 但仍然爱我的身体...but loving my body...
384 00:20:07 好样的 布莱恩- Oh. Good for you
385 00:20:09 ...你用了“矮胖”这个词 真的触痛了我和我们全家...your use of the word "stumpy" was a real trigger to me and my whole family.
386 00:20:16 真的假的?Seriously?
387 00:20:17 是的Yes.
388 00:20:18 任何形式的身材羞辱都会让我想起Any type of body-shaming just reminds me
389 00:20:21 那种被人说我的身材不够好的感觉of what it feels like to be told that my body ain't good enough.
390 00:20:25 好吧 我明白 我很抱歉让你有那样的感受了Oh
391 00:20:30 我想补充一句 我觉得你们中的很多人都会同意And I'd also like to add
392 00:20:32 就是我们国家 确实面临着严重的体重问题 对吧?we do have a major weight problem in this country. Do we not
393 00:20:36 而且这不仅仅影响了 这位先生和他的孩子And it doesn't just affect this man and his child.
394 00:20:39 体型不佳的人 给我们的医保系统带来的压力I mean
395 00:20:43 更别说他们病逝后对亲友的打击了...not to mention the loved ones they leave behind is...
396 00:20:45 是真真切切的让人揪心的it's truly
397 00:20:47 我觉得我们同在一个社区 这是个我们可以一起探讨的问题And I... I think
398 00:20:51 比如说 我们可以在接送孩子的入口 设一个沙拉自助之类的Like maybe put a salad bar at drop-off or something like that.
399 00:20:54 哦天!我喜欢这个Oh man! I would love that.
400 00:20:59 好吧 可能以后再说All right. Maybe... maybe not now.
401 00:21:02 让我赶紧结束 好的谢谢Wrap it up. Thank you.
402 00:21:03 我想说我对我昨天的行为深感抱歉Uh
403 00:21:07 那种行为在我们这里 是绝不容许的 好吧?就这样They have no place in this community. Okay? All right.
404 00:21:11 对不起 祝你们有个美好的早晨和愉快的一天I'm sorry. Have a nice morning. Good day.
405 00:21:14 额...Eh
406 00:21:15 好的 我们感谢杰克Okay. Okay
407 00:21:19 当我们犯错的时候 能承认错误是很不容易的It's not easy to admit when we are wrong.
408 00:21:24 这条路会很漫长This is going to be a long... a long journey.
409 00:21:29 但我知道我们都会在背后支持他But I know we will all be there to support him.
410 00:21:40 什么鬼? 她说“漫长的道路”是什么意思?What the fuck? What does she mean by "long journey"?
411 00:21:42 这条路走完了 我给她道歉了The journey's over. I just apologized to her
412 00:21:44 还有那一群怂到家的人 那些人当时压根就不在and a bunch of weak-kneed people who weren't even there.
413 00:21:48 她又拖了三个月才肯给奈特写推荐书She doesn't write Nate's recommendation for another three months.
414 00:21:51 - 所以呢? - 所以!- So? - So!
415 00:21:54 你有很多时间 来向她证明你是个好父亲You have a long time to prove to her that you are a good dad.
416 00:21:57 但我为什么要这么做?But why do I need to do that?
417 00:21:58 因为这个推荐书关系到奈特 也会关系到我们Because this recommendation is as much about Nate as it is about us as parents.
418 00:22:03 天啊!这些人到底有完没完?Oh
419 00:22:06 你得闯多少个关才能通过啊?I mean
420 00:22:09 我不知道 杰克 但这是你制造的问题I don't know
421 00:22:12 所以你是要像个男人一样解决它 还是我得给你也买个奶嘴了?So
422 00:22:18 - 怎么样? - 好吧- Well? - All right.
423 00:22:20 我会好好的 然后闯过每个关卡 好吗?I will play nice
424 00:22:23 谢谢 祝你今天愉快Mm-hmm. Thank you. Have a good day.
425 00:22:37 嗨宝贝 我烤了一点水牛牛排Hi
426 00:22:40 桌子上还有一杯曼哈顿鸡尾酒等着你and there's a Manhattan waiting for you on the table.
427 00:22:44 真要命宝贝 你看起来好赞- Goddamn
428 00:22:49 跟我来Follow me.
429 00:22:51 正是我今晚需要的Just what I needed tonight.
430 00:22:52 当然 我知道怎么照顾我的男人Well
431 00:22:56 去吧 坐下- Go on. Sit down.
432 00:22:57 喝一杯 好好放松一下Have a drink. Get all nice and relaxed.
433 00:23:01 为什么?怎么了?Why? What happened?
434 00:23:04 没什么Nothing.
435 00:23:07 没--Nothing.
436 00:23:08 好吧 确实有事要跟你说 但你保证你不能生气Okay
437 00:23:14 我学了这么多年法律 让我没法轻易答应这种事呢I went to too many years of law school to agree to something like that.
438 00:23:17 怎么了?What's going on?
439 00:23:21 嗯Well
440 00:23:23 我没来I'm late.
441 00:23:30 不会吧 不可能There's no way. That's impossible.
442 00:23:32 我也不敢相信I couldn't believe it either.
443 00:23:40 (怀孕 未怀孕)I couldn't believe it either.
444 00:23:44 我结扎了 而且我拔出来了I had a vasectomy
445 00:23:46 我知道 我也不懂是怎么回事 但...I... I know. I don't know how it happened
446 00:23:51 也许是有其他原因maybe there's a reason.
447 00:23:55 再尿一次Pee again.
448 00:23:57 - 什么? - 再尿一次!- What? - Pee again!
449 00:23:59 我尿了 三次呢I did. Three times.
450 00:24:00 那就不是我的 去验一下吧Well
451 00:24:15 你得这么想 这说明你的精子真的很强大I mean
452 00:24:21 你应该感到骄傲You should be proud.
453 00:24:23 真的 我们这个年纪的男人 射出来的东西都跟得了哮喘病一样Seriously. I mean
454 00:24:29 但你的就像 《不死劫》里的布鲁斯·威利斯but your shit's
455 00:24:32 对啊 靠着前列腺液艰难地闯过了结扎Yeah. To plow through a vasectomy with pre-cum.
456 00:24:35 - 真的是活久见 - 可不是嘛- I mean
457 00:24:37 那简直是《勇敢的心》级别的精液了That's like some Braveheart- level jizz.
458 00:24:39 兄弟 你真是 黑人版的威廉·华莱士了Yeah
459 00:24:41 前列腺液!Pre-cum!
460 00:24:44 不好意思Sorry.
461 00:24:45 迈克 会很赞的 有了小孩之后你会觉得自己很年轻Mike
462 00:24:49 不会的 我的孩子让我觉得想死No
463 00:24:52 别这么想Oh
464 00:24:53 你难道忘了当爸爸时的那种美妙吗?Don't you remember the beauty of becoming a dad?
465 00:24:55 新生婴儿头上的味道 简直太棒了The smell of a newborn baby's head. I mean
466 00:24:58 他们很有意思的 迈克They're funny
467 00:25:00 他们会说有趣的话 他们觉得屁都是有趣的They say funny shit. They think farts are funny.
468 00:25:03 早上他跑进来说“拉我的手指”In the morning
469 00:25:06 一个湿屁 太逗了- Wet one. It's funny.
470 00:25:08 很可爱It's adorable.
471 00:25:09 还有 你回到家 他们见到你超级激动的Another thing
472 00:25:12 有几个地方你可以一进门 就有人像疯了一样How many places do you walk in
473 00:25:14 向你跑来 尖叫着喊你的名字?and start running at you
474 00:25:17 你回到家 感觉自己成巨星了You come home
475 00:25:19 没错 而且他们不会活了12年就死了Yeah
476 00:25:20 - 没错 - 像狗一样- Exactly. - Like a dog.
477 00:25:22 希望是这样Hopefully.
478 00:25:24 迈克 这会很棒的 而且我们会一起帮你Mike
479 00:25:26 是的Yeah.
480 00:25:27 杰克 自从奈特出生后 你老了十岁Jack
481 00:25:33 康纳 我不知道你是怎么了 因为你一点没老Connor
482 00:25:38 - 谢了 兄弟 - 我不是夸你- Thanks
483 00:25:40 我不知道你打了什么肉毒杆菌I don't know what kind of Botox shit you're on
484 00:25:43 会毒死你的but it's gonna kill you.
485 00:25:45 好吧兄弟 别这么恶毒 好吗? 你搞出小孩又不是因为我All right
486 00:25:49 就...如果你不想要 堕胎就完了Just... If you don't want the baby
487 00:25:54 冲掉Flush it.
488 00:25:56 我不信这个 这是白人做的垃圾事I don't believe in that. That's some white shit.
489 00:25:58 - 什么意思? - 什么?- What's that mean? - What?
490 00:25:59 我不知道 我有点激动了I don't know. I'm emotional.
491 00:26:03 她说了她不想要孩子She said she didn't wanna have kids.
492 00:26:08 我现在该怎么办?What the fuck am I gonna do?
493 00:26:11 - 我心脏病要发了 - 你不会的- I'm having a heart attack. - You're not.
494 00:26:13 - 能给我们来点水吗?注意呼吸 - 我心脏病要发了- Can we get some water? Just breathe. - I'm gonna have a heart attack.
495 00:26:16 你不会心脏病发作的 你是健身的人You're not gonna have a heart attack. You go to the gym.
496 00:26:20 没有哪个健身的人会心脏病发作的Nobody has a heart attack that goes to the gym.
497 00:26:22 除了慢跑那家伙 他就死于心脏病Except... Remember that jogging guy? He died of a heart attack.
498 00:26:25 - 对哦 - 记得那个人吗?- Oh
499 00:26:29 - 大家早上好 - 早上好 L博士Good morning
500 00:26:32 回头见 小家伙 要开心哦 好吗?- Oh! - Hey
501 00:26:37 那是给我的吗?Is that for me?
502 00:26:39 是给整个社区的 这是一棵橄榄树Oh
503 00:26:42 很耐旱 也是和平的永恒象征Very drought-friendly. And an eternal symbol of peace.
504 00:26:45 想着这是一个 培养孩子们的社会心理健康的好方法I thought it'd be a nice way to cultivate the kids'
505 00:26:50 这是我们在家里对奈特一再强调的事Something we work on a lot with Nate at home
506 00:26:53 令我刮目相看Well
507 00:26:56 但这棵树 跟我们这里的生态系统不是很兼容But this tree is incompatible with our ecosystem.
508 00:27:00 它会招来虫子The insects that it would attract
509 00:27:02 那些虫子 会对这里的植物产生有害的影响would be detrimental to all plant life here.
510 00:27:09 真有意思啊 你和我竟然在...- This is a funny moment. Yeah. You and I are having a--
511 00:27:14 什么?What?
512 00:27:14 真是巧了 你竟然带了一个 跟你一样的植物 一个植物版的你I find it so apropos that you have brought the plant version of yourself.
513 00:27:21 杰克 我很感谢你能这么做 我知道这对你来说不容易Jack
514 00:27:26 但幸好你有我来为你指路But fortunately
515 00:27:30 如果你愿意采纳我的建议 这是你能接受的事吗?If you're willing to take my advice. Is that something you'd be open to?
516 00:27:37 - 我需要你用语言确认 - 是的- I need a verbal confirmation. - Yes.
517 00:27:41 跟我来Walk with me.
518 00:27:43 如你所见 这是一个充满活力 随性灵动的地方As you can see
519 00:27:49 是为下一代了不起的领导者 而打造的发射台A launching pad for the next generation of great leaders.
520 00:27:53 领导者如奈特Such as Nate.
521 00:27:56 但如果没有足够的燃料 他们永远都不能抵达最高空But they'll never reach the stratosphere without enough fuel.
522 00:28:02 我们的年度募资活动快开始了Our annual fundraiser is coming up
523 00:28:04 考虑到你在销售方面有过管理经验and given your leadership experience in sales
524 00:28:08 我觉得你可能会很适合做这个主席I think you might make a great chairman.
525 00:28:12 - 我? - 你觉得呢?- Me? - What do you think?
526 00:28:16 我觉得我开始明白 这里是怎么运作的了I think I'm beginning to see how this school works.
527 00:28:20 (紧致健身房 伍德兰希尔斯 加州)♪ Come on
528 00:28:27 加把劲 马上可以到10了Let's go. You're fucking getting to ten.
529 00:28:29 - 加油啊! - 我可以的- Let's go! - Ah! I got it.
530 00:28:30 - 你是娘们儿吗? - 不是- Are you a pussy? - No.
531 00:28:32 - 你是娘们儿吗? - 你才是- Are you a pussy? - You're a pussy.
532 00:28:33 你就是个娘们儿 快点 搞起来You're a fucking pussy. Come on
533 00:28:36 来啊 你是怎么了 来例假了吗? 起来 看着我Come on. What are you
534 00:28:39 - 看着我! - 我看着呢- Look at me! - Ah
535 00:28:40 就这样 来吧 再来一个That's it. Let's go. One more. One more. One more.
536 00:28:44 来吧!你做到了!- Come on! That's all you! That's all you! - Fuck!
537 00:28:47 好了不做了 放下来All right. Let's go. Down. Down.
538 00:28:49 击掌 两次 干死普拉提Up high. Twice. Ah! Fuck Pilates!
539 00:28:54 - 哇哦 - 很酸爽的训练- Whoo! - That was a good set.
540 00:28:58 - 所以你愿意帮我搞这个吗? - 滚吧 不行- So
541 00:29:01 - 拜托 就是个募资大会 - 我说了不- Come on. It's just a fundraiser meeting. - I said no.
542 00:29:04 你不想想那次我假装你爸爸 因为你想跟那个小妞隐瞒你的年龄What about that time I pretended to be your dad 'cause you were lying to that chick about your age
543 00:29:09 - 我没有任何关于那次事件的记忆了 - 没有了?说得倒轻巧I have no recollection of that incident. Oh
544 00:29:13 嘿 迈克来了Hey
545 00:29:15 - 那是布兰妮的车吗? - 我觉得不是- That Britney's car? - I don't think so.
546 00:29:17 看那车牌 有人在二手车行花大钱了Look at the plates. Someone went crazy on CarMax.
547 00:29:19 你看吧?我用二比一的赔率You know what? I give you two-to-one
548 00:29:22 赌小孩已经打掉了 也跟布兰妮分手了there's no more baby
549 00:29:24 - 不会吧 你觉得是吗? - 是的 50块- No. You think so? - Yeah. Fifty bucks.
550 00:29:26 50块?100块Fifty? Hundred.
551 00:29:28 - 百元大钞? - 百元大钞?- Hundred. C-note? - C-note?
552 00:29:29 - 百元大钞! - 百元大钞!- C-note! - C-note!
553 00:29:31 - 好了 淡定 - 好- All right. Be cool. - All right.
554 00:29:33 - 嘿! - 哟- Hey! - Yo
555 00:29:34 - 看看是谁来了 - 吃了么您?- Look who's here. Big Mike! - What's cracking?
556 00:29:36 - 哥们儿 你好吗? - 都好吗 老弟?- Man
557 00:29:39 - 气色不错啊 - 你新搞了辆车吗?- You look good. - You get a new car?
558 00:29:42 福特Fusion SEL 配置齐全 加热座椅 蓝牙 双天窗Ford Fusion SEL
559 00:29:46 直接送到我家门口 你想试试吗?Delivered straight to my door. You wanna take it for a spin?
560 00:29:50 我?不用了 下回我去坦帕的时候租一辆Me? Nah
561 00:29:54 嘿 你和布兰妮还打算留着孩子吗?Hey
562 00:29:57 对啊 为什么不?Yeah
563 00:29:59 我不知道啊 看你做的这些事情 还以为你已经放弃了呢I don't know. Everything you're doing is suggesting you took a mulligan.
564 00:30:02 我为什么不能养大这个孩子 同时拥有我的梦中情车呢?Why can't I be raising the kid and have the car of my dreams?
565 00:30:06 以及在易趣上 买一个大人小孩双拍档的弹球游戏机And pick up a Boyz II Men pinball machine on eBay.
566 00:30:10 有人说这是不可能的People say it's impossible.
567 00:30:12 嗯 让他们去死好了 因为我就要这么干Well
568 00:30:16 好了All right.
569 00:30:18 - 我靠 - 开练吧 伙计们- Fuck. - Let's get it in
570 00:30:19 好了 给我钱吧 要不去募资会All right. Pay up
571 00:30:21 混蛋Motherfucker.
572 00:30:25 对的 我可以让 外战老兵协会免费借我们场地Okay
573 00:30:28 我兄弟米奇是做酒水批发的My buddy Mitch has a wholesale liquor company.
574 00:30:30 我们可以按成本价买酒 这样就只剩下We get the booze at cost
575 00:30:32 娱乐和拍卖部分了We get the booze at cost
576 00:30:34 但主题是什么?Uh
577 00:30:36 主题是什么?就是大家都不开车What's the theme? You know
578 00:30:38 大醉一番 过一个没有孩子的夜晚We all get ripped. Take a night off from our kids.
579 00:30:41 杰克 我觉得她说的对 我们需要一个主题You know what? I think she's right. I think we need a theme.
580 00:30:43 是的 我们绝对需要一个主题- Yeah. - We definitely need a theme.
581 00:30:45 去年的主题是波多黎各日游行Last year's theme was the Puerto Rican Day Parade.
582 00:30:48 - 那次超棒的 - 我们请来了小提托·普恩特- That was great. - We had Tito Puente Jr.
583 00:30:51 80年代主题派对怎么样?How about an '80s-themed party?
584 00:30:52 这不就有想法了吗?Now there's an idea.
585 00:30:54 - 我超爱80年代的 - 80年代最棒了- I fucking love the '80s. - Fucking '80s are the best.
586 00:30:56 紧身背心 T型车顶 还有粉 宝贝Tank tops
587 00:30:58 沉迷指交 《迈阿密风云》!Finger-banging for days. Miami Vice!
588 00:31:01 整个潮流就是这样开始的 休闲外套里穿T恤That's what started that whole thing
589 00:31:05 不穿袜子 把裤脚叠起来卷上去Yeah. No socks. Remember? You fold over the pant
590 00:31:08 - 对 - 砰 带劲的口活- No... Yeah. - Boom. Hummer.
591 00:31:09 我们是在 回忆你的童年还是策划派对?Are we reliving your childhood or planning a party?
592 00:31:12 - 派对我总是喜欢的 - 我也是I'm always down for a party. - I am too. - Right?
593 00:31:15 《天下一家》怎么样?How about "We Are the World"?
594 00:31:17 那首歌挺好的 对吧?That's an interesting song. Right?
595 00:31:19 而且你知道 它讲到了包容性And
596 00:31:21 处理的是非洲的问题 学校有不少黑人小孩呢Deals with Africa. We got a lot of Black kids in the school.
597 00:31:26 什么...我猜想 它某种程度上是有包容性的Uh-- Wha-- I... I mean
598 00:31:31 近似包容性吧 但我们有些人在1980年代还没出生呢Inclusive adjacent
599 00:31:34 所以我想说为什么我们要往回看呢?So I just think that
600 00:31:37 这个学校还有我们的整个社区的氛围You know? Like
601 00:31:41 是向着未来的 我觉得会有点格格不入了is... is looking forward
602 00:31:44 我知道了 美国性别大联盟怎么样?I've got it. What about the United States of Gender?
603 00:31:47 - 就是这个 天哪 我好喜欢! - 是吧 我也喜欢- There it is. Oh my God. I love that! - I know. I love it.
604 00:31:50 我们可以请一个 全是跨性别的服务团队 会很棒的!We could have an entirely trans waitstaff. It'd be great!
605 00:31:53 等等 派对上 应该会有很多其他类型的人Okay. Wait
606 00:31:56 也许我们应该尽量更主流一些Maybe we should try to keep it a little more mainstream.
607 00:32:00 什么是主流?Hmm. Define mainstream.
608 00:32:02 我不知道 反正不要弄成一个阴阳人酒吧I don't know
609 00:32:05 - 我的天! - 阴阳人?你不能用这个词!- Oh my God! - Tranny? You cannot say that word!
610 00:32:08 那要怎么说?- What are you supposed to say?
611 00:32:10 - 跨性别! - 跨性别!Trans!
612 00:32:11 好吧 差不多是这个意思 更通俗的说法 就像迈克和小迈Oh
613 00:32:16 小迈!Mikey!
614 00:32:17 对 我也被人叫红毛 无鸟所谓Yeah. [laughs] I mean
615 00:32:22 我没有什么别的意思 好吧 跨性别I didn't mean anything by it. All right. Trans.
616 00:32:24 我觉得如果我们能 理解杰克古老的逻辑I think if we could just peer through the fog of Jack's antiquated logic
617 00:32:28 我们会意识到 杰克是在让我们团结起来we'll all realize that Jack's trying to bring us together
618 00:32:31 他想带我们向前走 不是分裂我们 好吗?He's trying to move us forward
619 00:32:34 我能不能...Can I just... Can I just...
620 00:32:36 是有什么特别的原因我们必须要Is there a reason we always have
621 00:32:38 让两个白人男来主导这场讨论?two white men dominating the discussion in this room?
622 00:32:43 是说我俩吗?Was that directed at us?
623 00:32:45 如果我没看错的话 你也是个白人男 兄弟'Cause if I'm not mistaken
624 00:32:47 你怎么不看看我的基因测试结果?Why don't you consult the results of my 23andMe test?
625 00:32:51 因为我身上3%的斯里兰卡血统Because the 3% of my lineage that is Sri Lankan
626 00:32:54 会非常反感你现在说话的语气is really not appreciating your tone in this moment.
627 00:32:57 我需要你去反思一下你的特权So I'm gonna need you to check your privilege.
628 00:32:59 - 反思我的特权? - 没错- Check my privilege? - That's right. Check your privilege.
629 00:33:01 好了 我们来讨论一下无声拍卖吧?Okay. Uh
630 00:33:05 那不是个白人吗?That's not a white guy?
631 00:33:07 我也搞不清楚了I'm confused.
632 00:33:14 (三连胜原生)I'm confused.
633 00:33:18 我的天!看看这个地方 一天天的变得越来越糟心了Oh my God! Look at this place. It just gets more depressing every day.
634 00:33:25 你们好吗 派对达人们?What up
635 00:33:33 你们好吗 亲们?Ah! What up
636 00:33:35 你们看了抖音上 那个夫妻互换衣服的视频了吗?Yo
637 00:33:39 搞什么啊?What?
638 00:33:41 没 我不看抖音的Uh
639 00:33:44 什么?你难道用的是安卓机吗?What? What are you on an Android phone?
640 00:33:47 - 是的 确实是的 - 对 我也是- Yeah. As a matter of fact
641 00:33:50 它支持开源软件 完全可以定制It's open-source software. Fully customizable.
642 00:33:52 - 没错! - 对吧?我就说吧- Yes! Yes! - Right? That's what I'm talking about.
643 00:33:56 我靠Fuck.
644 00:33:57 哟 今早你们感觉到地震了吗?Yo. Did you feel that earthquake this morning? You feel that?
645 00:34:02 别担心Don't worry.
646 00:34:04 只是我的想法而已It's just my thoughts.
647 00:34:08 名气Fame.
648 00:34:10 曾经只属于有才华的人It was once only the provenance of the talented.
649 00:34:14 但现在我们生活在一个But now we are living in an era
650 00:34:16 人人都相信他们应该成名的时代in which everyone believes that they deserve to be famous.
651 00:34:22 这个名人和流量的泡沫很大 朋友们 而且很快要破了The fame bubble is big
652 00:34:26 已经可以看到裂缝了You can already see the cracks.
653 00:34:28 名人们宣布他们要暂离社交媒体Celebrities announcing they're taking a break from social media
654 00:34:31 选择的方式是在社交媒体上 发一张自拍照 太扯了by taking a selfie and posting it to social media. It's insane.
655 00:34:36 我们要赚一笔多到扯淡的钱And we are going to make an insane amount of money
656 00:34:40 通过把不想要名气变成新的名气by making not wanting fame the new fame.
657 00:34:45 我们要找个品牌大使We're gonna find a brand ambassador.
658 00:34:47 一个真心不在乎名气的人Someone who earnestly does not crave fame.
659 00:34:52 他就是艾德·卡梅隆Introducing Ed Cameron.
660 00:34:56 他是不想成名界的勒布朗·詹姆斯He is the LeBron James of not being famous.
661 00:35:00 生活在新墨西哥州的一块不毛之地上Lives on a plot of alopeciad land in New Mexico.
662 00:35:02 他完全自给自足He is entirely self-sustaining.
663 00:35:04 据我们所知 他基本上不跟任何人类接触And as far as we know
664 00:35:07 从1980年代后期开始not since the late 1980s.
665 00:35:09 你是怎么找到他的?How did you find him?
666 00:35:11 不容易啊Well
667 00:35:12 在1976年But in 1976
668 00:35:13 他在当地的教堂参与了一次抽彩he signed up for a raffle at a local church.
669 00:35:17 他的信息被卖给了一家大商场That information was sold to Mammoth Mart
670 00:35:19 然后又转卖给了一个古早的唱片店who then sold it to Columbia Record and Tape Club
671 00:35:22 结果它转身又卖给了摩根大通who turned right around and sold it to JPMorgan Chase.
672 00:35:25 之后他们被黑了 最终流到了暗网上And then they got hacked
673 00:35:28 那有点难...so that was a little harder to--
674 00:35:29 没必要说太多我们是怎么获取 他的个人信息的了It's not that important to talk about how we acquired his personal information.
675 00:35:33 不重要Doesn't matter.
676 00:35:34 重要的是 我们要把他请来What matters is how we're gonna bring him in.
677 00:35:37 给你们三个词 杰克 迈克 康纳 三位创始人And I got three words for ya. Jack
678 00:35:42 哇!什么?Whoa
679 00:35:44 你想让我们去说服这个人?You want all three of us to go pitch this guy?
680 00:35:46 对 还有我们的小特Yeah. Yeah
681 00:35:49 为什么叫上特拉维斯?Why is Travis coming?
682 00:35:51 好问题 康纳 对你表示感恩Good question
683 00:35:53 这家伙选择住在荒郊野外Hey
684 00:35:56 对Yeah.
685 00:35:57 我们怎么可能说服他去追逐名利啊?So
686 00:36:04 这就是你们的工作了 杰克Therein lies the work
687 00:36:06 你觉得 史蒂夫·乔布斯有发明什么东西吗?Do you think that Steve Jobs invented things?
688 00:36:12 - 是啊 还不少 - 对- Yeah. Quite a bit
689 00:36:13 - 平板电脑 - 不- iPad. - No.
690 00:36:14 他说出想法 然后其他人来做He said things
691 00:36:19 所以 今天我也说了我的想法So I've said things today
692 00:36:21 我想让你们去做这些事and I want you to go and do those things.
693 00:36:37 嘿 杰克 你觉得 我们摊上的是个什么事啊?Jack
694 00:36:39 你说这家伙会说英语吗?I mean
695 00:36:42 是啊 他什么时候脱离社会的?Yeah. When did he go off the grid?
696 00:36:44 好像是1988年Like
697 00:36:46 - 真的假的? - 是的- Seriously? - Yeah.
698 00:36:47 他可能还对着萨曼莎·福克斯撸管呢He's probably still jerkin' off to Samantha Fox.
699 00:36:51 好了 问一个正经的All right
700 00:36:53 你愿意操 最佳状态的萨曼莎·福克斯吗?Would you rather fuck Samantha Fox in her prime
701 00:36:57 但她得戴着芭芭拉·布什的面具哦but she's wearing a Barbara Bush mask?
702 00:37:01 还是操大概是 1988年左右的芭芭拉·布什?Or fuck Barbara Bush
703 00:37:07 但是得让萨曼莎看着你做but you get to have Samantha just lookin' at you
704 00:37:10 四目相对 她还是裸着的full eye contact
705 00:37:12 - 哇 真是个难题啊 - 谢谢- Oh
706 00:37:15 你总是出其不意啊- You always get the left turn. - Mm-hmm.
707 00:37:17 我想我应该会点个组合餐I mean
708 00:37:19 虽然萨曼莎·福克斯很性感 但如果我两个都上...I mean
709 00:37:23 我就可以看着萨曼莎You know
710 00:37:25 - 而且芭芭拉·布什 我觉得她很高端，对吧 - 嗯呢- And Barbara Bush
711 00:37:27 我也从来没有离权力那么近And I've never been that close to that level of power before.
712 00:37:30 在总统办公室做Do it in the Oval Office
713 00:37:32 拿起红色电话 看看是谁打来的you know
714 00:37:34 总捅办公室The oval orifice.
715 00:37:37 - 兄弟厉害啊! - 懂我的梗了吧?- Yeah
716 00:37:39 一群男人啊? 就一起瞎混Bunch of guys
717 00:37:42 羞辱女人 很酷 你们真行啊Trashin' women. Yeah
718 00:37:45 怎么 我们冒犯到你了吗?What
719 00:37:47 没有 你们没有冒犯我No
720 00:37:49 我只是觉得男人之间的I just think this misogynistic behavior
721 00:37:51 厌女性行为有点过时了amongst groups of men is a little
722 00:37:54 老天 我们碰上女权主义者了Ah
723 00:37:56 我是为你们着想 好吗?Look
724 00:38:00 无意冒犯 但是你们给人的感觉有点...No offense
725 00:38:03 有点老派 懂吧 有点跟时代脱节了A little old
726 00:38:06 我们应该试着进化We try evolving.
727 00:38:07 进化?真不错 像你们这一代人一样对吗?Evolving? It's a good idea. Like your generation
728 00:38:10 拍自己翻转水瓶的视频Filmin' yourselves while you're flippin' over water bottles.
729 00:38:13 了不起的进步啊Incredible progress.
730 00:38:15 容我插句话If I may interject.
731 00:38:17 特拉维斯 听起来你的意思是你们这一代人Travis
732 00:38:22 比我们那一代更加先进is more evolved than our generation.
733 00:38:27 天啊 这真的是个问句?是的 当然了Oh my God
734 00:38:31 特拉维斯 你喜欢说唱音乐吗?Travis
735 00:38:33 喜欢啊 我听各种类型的音乐I mean
736 00:38:36 你是钻得很深还是随便听听 那种模糊说唱之类的东西?You go deep
737 00:38:39 我钻得很深No
738 00:38:40 真的?多深?Really? How deep?
739 00:38:41 就那些经典的 武当帮 声名狼藉先生 纳斯 NWAYou know
740 00:38:47 NWA?N.W.A?
741 00:38:48 好吧 我们特拉维斯真的钻得很深呢Okay
742 00:38:52 看了电影 也买了原声碟Saw the movie. Bought the soundtrack.
743 00:38:55 你大概也知道Yella Boy是谁吧You probably know who Yella Boy is.
744 00:38:57 哇!Wow!
745 00:38:59 你喜欢在车上跟着唱他们的歌吗?You like to sing along to them in the car?
746 00:39:02 对 我有时候会跟着他们说唱Yeah
747 00:39:05 他们唱到那个词的时候你怎么办?What do you do when they drop the N-word?
748 00:39:14 继续唱吗?- You keep singing along?
749 00:39:16 不是 我...Uh
750 00:39:21 我听着I listen.
751 00:39:22 - 你听着? - 是的 我听着- You just listen? - Yeah. I do. I... I listen.
752 00:39:26 我说 你的脑子里是有个暂停键吗? 这可是NWAI mean
753 00:39:29 你自己一个人 车窗关上了You're by yourself. Windows are up.
754 00:39:32 在公路上徜徉 你来感觉了!Cruisin' down the highway. You feelin' it!
755 00:39:36 然后你告诉我你会停下你的说唱?Are you tellin' me that you stop your flow?
756 00:39:39 - 我会的 - 胡扯!没人会这样- I do. - Bullshit
757 00:39:40 这是NWAIt's N.W.A.
758 00:39:42 - 我以为你很爱他们 - 没错- I thought you said you loved them. - I do.
759 00:39:44 - 你爱他们吗? - 是的 我爱!- Do you love them? - Yes
760 00:39:46 - 那你还停下了? - 不是 我照说!- And you stop your flow? - No
761 00:39:52 我想听听他说 放NWA的《冲出康普顿》I wanna hear how he says it. Put on N.W.A "Straight Outta Compton."
762 00:39:56 拜托 我不想这样Oh
763 00:39:58 为什么?背着我能说 当着我的面就不行了吗?Why not? You say it when I'm not around
764 00:40:02 这让我感觉 你是在用一种我不想听到的方式在说That makes me feel like you're sayin' it in a way I wouldn't wanna hear it.
765 00:40:11 我想严正声明一下 我不想这么做I just wanna go on record as saying I don't wanna do this.
766 00:40:14 就他妈的唱吧!Sing the damn song!
767 00:40:15 好的 别激动Okay. Just chill out.
768 00:40:18 冲出康普顿 有个叫艾斯·库伯的疯狗贱人♪ Straight outta Compton Crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube ♪
769 00:40:22 来自...♪ From the... ♪
770 00:40:24 当有人叫我 我掏出一把散弹枪♪ When I'm called off
771 00:40:26 扣下扳机 拖走尸体♪ Pull the trigger And the bodies get hauled off ♪
772 00:40:29 你也一样 小年轻 你若胆敢惹我♪ You too
773 00:40:31 条子就会来抓我♪ The police are gonna have to come And get me ♪
774 00:40:33 一枪崩了你 因为这是我被抓的原因♪ Off yo ass 'Cause that's how I'm goin' out ♪
775 00:40:36 那些耀武扬威的朋克贱人♪ The punk motherfuckers That's showin' out... ♪
776 00:40:38 尼...不行N-- No.
777 00:40:41 操!我不想说Fuck! I don't wanna say it
778 00:40:45 很好 你不该说Good. You shouldn't wanna say it.
779 00:40:48 但是代表德瑞博士和他的公司 感谢你购买他们的专辑But on behalf of Dr. Dre and company
780 00:40:54 嘿 迈克 说明一下 不管什么时候 听嘻哈 我都不会说这个词Hey
781 00:40:58 是吗?那你什么时候说?Really? When do you say it?
782 00:41:02 - 好了 朋友们 该翻篇了 - 杰克!- Okay
783 00:41:06 - 该死 - 该死- Oh shit. - Shit.
784 00:41:09 - 该死 杰克 - 那他妈的是什么?- Shit
785 00:41:13 我不知道 但它应该是死了I don't know
786 00:41:17 那家伙在做什么?- What's that guy doin'?
787 00:41:28 老天啊 我想那就是他Holy shit. I think that's him.
788 00:41:30 谁?Who?
789 00:41:31 - 艾德·卡梅隆 - 不是吧- Ed Cameron. - Nuh-uh.
790 00:41:33 你在开玩笑吗?- You fucking kidding me? - No.
791 00:41:34 你要去哪里?回来Where you goin'? Get back in the car.
792 00:41:38 你好Hi.
793 00:41:40 你好吗?How you doing?
794 00:41:46 不好意思 那个犰狳是你的吗?Uh
795 00:41:53 现在是了It is now.
796 00:41:58 来自高速公路的馈赠- The highway provides. - Wait
797 00:42:00 等等!- The highway provides. - Wait
798 00:42:04 也许这问题有点突兀This
799 00:42:05 但你会不会是艾德·卡梅隆?but you wouldn't happen to be Ed Cameron
800 00:42:11 你是谁?Who's askin'?
801 00:42:14 杰克·凯利Oh. Jack Kelly.
802 00:42:20 我们专程过来跟你谈谈Uh
803 00:42:30 你们不会是一群死基佬吧?You ain't a bunch of fags
804 00:42:36 嘿 卡拉Hey
805 00:42:37 - 对 - 嘿- Yeah. - Hey.
806 00:42:39 - 不好意思 再见乔安娜 - 一会儿再说 亲爱的 我们走了- Sorry. Bye
807 00:42:42 我就在想今天能不能碰见你呢I was hoping I was gonna run into you today.
808 00:42:44 第二孕期感觉怎么样?How's the second trimester?
809 00:42:45 比怀奈特的时候要辛苦一些You know? It's harder than it was with Nate.
810 00:42:47 是吗?我看出来了 你看着脸色不太好You know what? I could tell. You're looking a little peaked.
811 00:42:51 你还锻炼吗?- You still working out?
812 00:42:53 是的Yeah.
813 00:42:55 我是想跟你聊聊 布兰妮的宝宝派对的事Uh
814 00:42:58 我在想我们可以...- And I was thinking we should-- Oh!
815 00:42:59 科林 你小心点 莉亚阿姨怀着宝宝呢Hey
816 00:43:04 你好啊 宝宝!Hi
817 00:43:05 科林!你不能这么做 明白吗?Colin! You are not allowed to do that
818 00:43:09 他确实精力有点旺盛Hey
819 00:43:10 但这不意味着你可以吼我的孩子That doesn't give you the right to scream at my child.
820 00:43:13 我只是在保护我自己I was just trying to protect myself.
821 00:43:16 他只有五岁 他什么都不懂He's five years old. He doesn't know any better.
822 00:43:18 不懂不应该教他吗?Don't you think he should?
823 00:43:21 你的意思是我是个糟糕的母亲?Are you calling me a bad mother?
824 00:43:23 你可以说成 我觉得你的教育方式很特别You could say I think your parenting techniques are interesting.
825 00:43:28 在家分娩 不是无痛 4%的体脂率Home birth
826 00:43:32 货真价实的成果说明一切The proof is in the pudding.
827 00:43:33 也许你吃点货真价实的东西Maybe if you occasionally ate some of that pudding
828 00:43:35 就不会有这么没料的奶子了you wouldn't have sweat your tits off.
829 00:43:38 没错- Yeah.
830 00:43:41 我等不及要看阿斯彭 恭喜我们找到那个疯子I cannot wait to see the look on Aspen's face
831 00:43:44 之后脸上的表情了when he congratulates us for landing that fucking lunatic.
832 00:43:51 那老混蛋会把虱子传染给我们的Fucker's gonna give us all bedbugs.
833 00:43:55 - 嘿 特拉维斯 - 哟- Hey
834 00:43:57 都已经做成T恤了?Holy shit. They already got him on a T-shirt?
835 00:43:59 这是打样的版本 但超赞的有没有?Yeah. It's the prototype
836 00:44:02 昨晚阿斯彭去参加了一个死藤水仪式So
837 00:44:05 萌生出了一个超有才的想法and he gets this
838 00:44:07 梗图 T恤 非同质化代币Memes
839 00:44:10 你说的我一个都不懂I don't know what any of that means.
840 00:44:13 那家伙绝对是个天才 这次的项目一定会大火I mean
841 00:44:17 你相信就好If you say so.
842 00:44:18 抱歉我迟到了Hey
843 00:44:20 康纳 你看 他们已经把那家伙做到T恤上了Hey
844 00:44:23 难以置信Unbelievable.
845 00:44:27 - 你坐那么远干什么? - 我想坐哪里就坐哪里- What are you doin' way over there? - I can sit wherever I want.
846 00:44:31 - 你干嘛不看我? - 不行吗?- There a reason you're not looking at me? - I don't know. Is there?
847 00:44:35 先生们Gentlemen.
848 00:44:39 你们做到了 干得真不错 真的You did it. You guys crushed it. You really did.
849 00:44:42 我现在明白 为什么这个公司能存活23年了I mean
850 00:44:45 是啊 这些老狗还有些东西在身上的Yeah
851 00:44:48 比你想象的多than you thought.
852 00:44:50 对Yeah.
853 00:44:52 我们还是要谈谈那辆租来的车We're gonna have to talk about the rental car though.
854 00:44:55 就保险杠刮蹭了一下 我们有保险的Ah
855 00:44:57 车有保险 但这个没有We have insurance for the car. We don't have insurance for this.
856 00:45:01 嘿 问你一个问题 凯特琳·詹纳还留着布鲁斯的屌吗?Hey
857 00:45:05 - 放在罐子里吗? - 这从哪儿弄来的?- Like in a jar? - Where'd you get this?
858 00:45:07 不是 她还长着呢No
859 00:45:08 是说凯特琳有奶子也有屌 所以才称呼为“他们”吗?Like
860 00:45:12 - 我明白你的意思 - 我不是说我会干凯特琳- I get what you're saying. - Look
861 00:45:16 但那绝对是一起看比赛的最佳人选了But
862 00:45:19 那可是布鲁斯·詹纳啊That's fucking Bruce Jenner.
863 00:45:20 我在想 每隔四年 当夏季奥运会开始的时候I wonder
864 00:45:23 谁会是第一个给凯特琳打电话说who's the first one to call Caitlyn and be like
865 00:45:25 “今天想看十项运动比赛吗?”-"You wanna watch the decathlon today?" - Yeah.
866 00:45:30 我为你们所有人的妻子感到万分抱歉I feel super fucking bad for all your wives.
867 00:45:33 特拉维斯 你结过婚吗?Let me ask you something
868 00:45:35 - 没有 - 所以说嘛- No
869 00:45:37 你怎么不跟海军陆战队 说说打仗是什么感觉?Why don't you go up to a Marine now and tell him what it's like in battle?
870 00:45:40 是你架的相机吗?你这个该死的探子Did you set that camera up? You fucking snitch.
871 00:45:43 不是我Whoa. No
872 00:45:44 小特跟这个无关好吗? 这是租车公司给我们的Trav had nothing to do with this
873 00:45:48 他们发给我们 想交换我们用户的个人信息They sent it to us in exchange for all of our users' personal information.
874 00:45:51 你在开玩笑吗?Are you fucking kidding me?
875 00:45:53 现在是信息经济了It's an information economy.
876 00:45:54 出于免责和安全考虑 他们会录下一切They
877 00:45:57 嗯 当我看了这个...我无能为力了Well
878 00:46:01 得解放你们了Gonna have to liberate you.
879 00:46:02 “解放”我们? 他是要为了这点破事炒了我们吗?"Liberate" us? Is he firing us over that bullshit?
880 00:46:06 就是一群男人在车里扯扯淡It's a bunch of guys shootin' the shit in a car.
881 00:46:08 那不可能是合法的There's no way that's fucking legal.
882 00:46:09 在新墨西哥州实际上是的It is
883 00:46:14 好吧 那我们终止协议 你还是得给我们钱Okay
884 00:46:18 实际上呢 我们不需要Actually
885 00:46:20 因为你们的行为 违反了合同中的道德条款Because your behavior violated the terms of your morality clause in your contract.
886 00:46:24 道德条款?Morality clause?
887 00:46:26 他在说什么?What... what's he talkin' about?
888 00:46:28 所以 你们所有的股权都被清算了So all of your equity has been liquidated
889 00:46:31 汇入到一般基金里了and it's been returned to the general fund.
890 00:46:33 搞什么?What the fuck?
891 00:46:34 你们得马上离开这里 如果你们不介意的话You have to leave the premises immediately if you don't mind.
892 00:46:37 - 走吧 - 看啊 抄罚单的来了- Let's go. - Look. The meter maids are back
893 00:46:39 你们就躲在这些人背后 帮他们干这些脏活?You hide behind these guys? Do all your dirty work?
894 00:46:42 对 他们很优秀Yeah
895 00:46:44 真他妈的难以置信Un-fuckin'-believable.
896 00:46:45 百十来斤的大怂逼一个120 pounds soakin' wet.
897 00:46:48 哇!- You fucking piece of shit. - Wow!
898 00:46:50 行了 真不错 老兄- Come on. - Real nice
899 00:46:52 - 特拉维斯 你能弄一下吗? - 好的- Travis
900 00:46:56 好激烈啊 对吧?Yikes
901 00:46:58 你也是 特拉维斯You too
902 00:47:01 什么?What?
903 00:47:04 我没有附和也没有纵容他们啊I didn't condone anything that was goin' on in the car.
904 00:47:06 我只是口头...I was being vocally--
905 00:47:07 什么鬼的...♪ And shit ♪
906 00:47:09 ♪ Yeah♪ And shit ♪
907 00:47:10 - 那是我家吗? - 对- Is that my apartment? - Yeah.
908 00:47:12 ♪ Yeah... ♪- Is that my apartment? - Yeah.
909 00:47:14 你为什么会有这个 阿斯彭?Why... why do you have this
910 00:47:16 你家电视带摄像头的 你说我为什么会有You got a TV with a camera. Things could happen.
911 00:47:18 黄金链子♪ Gold all in my chain ♪
912 00:47:20 黄金戒指♪ Gold all in my ring ♪
913 00:47:22 黄金手表♪ Gold all in my watch ♪
914 00:47:25 别信我 看好了 黑鬼♪ Don't believe me
915 00:47:27 别信我 看好了 黑鬼...♪ Don't believe me
916 00:47:29 ♪ Don't believe me♪ Don't believe me
917 00:47:32 - 贾斯汀 - 拜托 老兄!- Justin. - Come on
918 00:47:34 阿斯彭 别这样 我就是有点兴奋了Oh
919 00:47:36 我是准备精神昂扬地开启一天的I was... I was gettin' ready to start my fuckin' day.
920 00:47:39 我是准备 精神昂扬地开启一天的 老兄!I was gettin' ready to start the day
921 00:47:42 到底什么是他妈的道德条款?What the hell's a morality clause?
922 00:47:45 这是每个商业合同里 都会有的常规条款It's a boilerplate clause in every corporate contract
923 00:47:47 但它被用在这种情况我从来没听说过but I've never heard it used in the context
924 00:47:50 在另一个州的一辆租来的车上 偷偷拍摄别人of secretly filming someone in a rental car in a different state.
925 00:47:53 你知道我们是什么货色 还让我们三个傻屌Well
926 00:47:56 去签一个道德条款?sign a morality clause when you know how we are?
927 00:47:58 你是说你自己什么货色吗? 混蛋 我告诉你Don't you mean how you are? Motherfucker
928 00:48:02 不是这事也会是其他的 现在因为你的功劳If it wasn't this
929 00:48:05 我得一直工作到85岁!I'm gonna be working until I'm 85!
930 00:48:07 这锅我不背 迈克Oh
931 00:48:11 23年来 你从来没有失手过For 23 years
932 00:48:13 但这次你迫不及待地 给自己买了配置齐全的福特Fusionbut you were so hot to trot to get your loaded Ford fucking Fusion
933 00:48:17 让我们被人宰割了you left us exposed.
934 00:48:19 你是在质疑我的能力吗?Are you questioning my competency?
935 00:48:21 我是在质疑你的动机No
936 00:48:22 伙计们 别这样了好吗? 我们是一条船上的Guys
937 00:48:26 不再是了 我受够了杰克 你和你那该死的大嘴巴Not anymore. I'm done with you
938 00:48:29 别这样 迈克Come on
939 00:48:33 你为什么不看着我?- Connor
940 00:48:34 别管了 我看哪里是我的自由Don't worry about it
941 00:48:36 - 你他妈的是怎么了? - 杰克 我现在没法理你- The fuck is goin' on with you? - Jack
942 00:48:41 将来会有一个时候我们又可以再见面Just know that there will come a time in the future
943 00:48:45 但不是现在 好吗?太诡异了when we will be able to hang out again
944 00:48:49 你他妈在说什么?The fuck are you talkin' about?
945 00:48:51 你干嘛不去问问你老婆?Why don't you ask your wife?
946 00:48:55 嘿 宝贝Hey
947 00:48:57 你是不是试图跟康纳上床?- Did you try to fuck Connor?
948 00:48:59 什么?你在说什么?- Huh? - What? What are you talking about?
949 00:49:01 为什么康纳说是因为你 他不想再跟我见面了?How come Connor said you're the reason me and him can't hang out?
950 00:49:04 - 我不... - 回答我 莉亚- I don't-- - Answer me that
951 00:49:06 我的天Oh my God.
952 00:49:09 卡拉和我在接孩子的时候吵架了Okay. So
953 00:49:12 我说她是个不会教孩子的糟糕母亲I said she was a shitty mom who couldn't parent her kid.
954 00:49:16 - 我有没有跟你说过别这么做? - 是的 对不起- Well
955 00:49:20 我很抱歉 但是...I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry
956 00:49:23 你真的认为我会想要跟康纳上床?Do you really think that I would try and fuck Connor?
957 00:49:26 - 不是的 很蠢的想法 - 拜托 你在...- No
958 00:49:30 - 我有点激动了 - 怎么了?- I'm emotional. - What's going on?
959 00:49:32 我今天失业了I lost my job today.
960 00:49:34 - 什么? - 我今天失业了- What? - I lost my job today.
961 00:49:36 - 不会把? - 我们仨- What? - We all did.
962 00:49:37 哦 不会吧 亲爱的 发生什么了?Oh no
963 00:49:40 我不知道 我...I don't know. I...
964 00:49:42 我们在出差的路上 说了些乱七八糟的 然后传到公司了We said some shit on that road trip
965 00:49:47 你们说了什么?What did you say?
966 00:49:49 就是你在不知道有人录像的情况下 在租来的车里会说的话You know
967 00:49:55 我能猜猜吗?Can I guess?
968 00:49:57 最好不要I'd appreciate it if you didn't.
969 00:50:00 没那么糟It wasn't that bad.
970 00:50:03 重点是我让你和孩子们失望了Look
971 00:50:05 现在奈特也去不了私立学校了and now Nate can't go to private school.
972 00:50:07 我很不好受 我会想办法...I feel terrible about that. I'm gonna figure out a way--
973 00:50:09 不 你知道吗?奈特必须去私立学校No. You know what? Nate is gonna go to private school.
974 00:50:13 我不在乎我们的房子有四份按揭 我得每天工作And I don't care if we have four mortgages on the house and I work every day
975 00:50:17 直到羊水破了 但是我们的儿子不能落后until my water breaks
976 00:50:20 就因为他的父亲 只有两岁小孩的自控力because his father has the self-control of a two-year-old.
977 00:50:24 这不是自控力的问题 是隐私权 但...It's not self-control. It's a right-to-privacy issue
978 00:50:39 亲爱的杰克 过去的几个月像是永恒那么长Dear Jack
979 00:50:45 我想你I miss you.
980 00:50:46 我想念我们的兄弟情谊I miss our brotherhood.
981 00:50:49 为了共同的目标一起奋斗 同甘共苦 还有互相取笑The fighting for a common goal
982 00:50:54 虽然总是我吃亏even though it was often at my expense.
983 00:50:57 詹纳准备掷了 飞起来吧Jenner into the spin. Lets it fly.
984 00:51:00 布鲁斯·詹纳获得了金牌!Bruce Jenner has won gold!
985 00:51:04 成为潮流 不需要懂潮流You don't have to know what's going on to be what's going on.
986 00:51:09 艾德·卡梅隆系列- The Ed Cameron Collection.
987 00:51:13 迈克还在撑着- Mike is hanging in there.
988 00:51:15 他在一家中型公司 工作也不错 而且我觉得他真的开始接受You know
989 00:51:20 再次做父亲这件事and I think he's really comin' around to becoming a father again.
990 00:51:22 而且他看起来是开心的 但你知道迈克这个人And he seems happy
991 00:51:26 他不怎么说出来He's not a big talker.
992 00:51:30 没有工作的日子不好过Being unemployed hasn't been easy.
993 00:51:34 但是我一直在看 这个叫乔尔·欧斯汀的人But I've been watching this guy Joel Osteen a lot.
994 00:51:38 老兄 一旦你不去管上帝那些 你会发现这家伙有很多正能量的东西Man
995 00:51:42 而且他的头发简直美翻了And his hair is bangin'.
996 00:51:44 他讲了一个关于三个牧羊人的故事...He told the story of these three sheepherders--
997 00:52:05 该死Fuck.
998 00:52:10 亲爱的杰克Dear Jack
999 00:52:12 我想你I miss you
1000 00:52:13 你知道的 我从小就被人忽视As you know
1001 00:52:16 很多时候都在和乐高玩 如果你明白我的意思 而且...Lot of time with the Legos
1002 00:52:22 你在干什么?What are you doing?
1003 00:52:25 没什么 就是...Nothing. It's just...
1004 00:52:27 就是...It's... it's...
1005 00:52:29 就是随手写几句俳句 就很...Just knockin' off a little haiku. It's...
1006 00:52:33 没什么意思的It's stupid. I...
1007 00:52:38 我们去睡觉吧 好吗宝贝?Let's go to bed
1008 00:52:41 我好累I'm so tired.
1009 00:52:45 (无主题主题派对)I'm so tired.
1010 00:52:53 请慢用Here you are.
1011 00:52:54 - 谢谢 - 谢谢- Thank you. - Thank you.
1012 00:52:57 - 杰克! - 嘿- Jack! - Hey.
1013 00:52:58 很棒的派对 大家似乎都很开心I mean
1014 00:53:01 谢谢- Oh
1015 00:53:02 我得夸夸你- Oh
1016 00:53:03 你预想到了任何派对的主题Having the foresight to see that any party theme decided upon
1017 00:53:06 如果是由一个白人为主的群体决定的 就会自带偏见属性by a predominantly white committee would be inherently biased...
1018 00:53:10 你的成长真的让我好欣慰Well
1019 00:53:12 我也是听大家的Oh
1020 00:53:16 谁能想到 办一个庆祝白人不伤害任何人的派对Hey
1021 00:53:19 会变成一个那么受欢迎的事情?would actually be a big hit?
1022 00:53:21 我也有点惊讶 恭喜你 杰克I'm a little surprised too. Congratulations
1023 00:53:26 谢谢你 L博士Oh
1024 00:53:27 记住 衡量这个派对的真正标准 是它能为孩子们做些什么But remember
1025 00:53:32 (小小心灵 三万美金)But remember
1026 00:53:34 祝你好运Good luck.
1027 00:53:37 谢谢Thank you.
1028 00:53:39 好运Godspeed.
1029 00:53:42 嘿 你知道吗?别听她的Hey
1030 00:53:45 没错 下一个拍品自动就会卖出去Yeah
1031 00:53:47 如果不行 我们还可以拍卖一些我们的首饰If it doesn't
1032 00:53:50 听着 你只需要集中精神Listen
1033 00:53:52 - 好的 - 想想奈特- Right. Right. - Think about Nate.
1034 00:53:54 展示你那个You know
1035 00:53:56 每天都让我后悔爱上的该死的魅力I so deeply regret falling in love with every day.
1036 00:53:59 你会一如既往地成功的 知道吗?You're gonna bring it home
1037 00:54:01 - 好的 - 康纳给了我一张条子- Right. Right. All right. - Oh
1038 00:54:04 实际上是他叫别人交给我 再让我给你Actually
1039 00:54:08 不知道怎么回事I don't know.
1040 00:54:10 你会很棒的 我相信你You're gonna be great. I know it.
1041 00:54:12 - 我爱你 - 谢谢- I love you. - Thank you. Thank you.
1042 00:54:14 亲爱的杰克 情况很糟糕 但我永远支持你 兄弟Dear Jack
1043 00:54:18 我想多写一些 但这些小熊软糖开始起作用了I'd write more
1044 00:54:28 你在干什么?- What are you doing?
1045 00:54:30 这个啊 妹子 还记得以前那会儿吗? 怎么样啊 妹子?Doin' this
1046 00:54:34 哦...!Doin' this
1047 00:54:42 好了 女士们先生们 提醒一下大家All right
1048 00:54:46 我们的无声拍卖只剩下45分钟了There's only 45 minutes left in our silent auction.
1049 00:54:49 还是有很多时间 可以拍一些非常棒的物品That's still plenty of time to bid on some incredible items
1050 00:54:53 包括你们的孩子做的艺术品including artwork created by your own children
1051 00:54:56 来为学校募资to raise money for the school.
1052 00:54:58 (蚱蜢班艺术展)to raise money for the school.
1053 00:55:00 这可不是利用童工哦 是做好事 我说得对吗?It's not child labor if it's for a good cause. Am I right?
1054 00:55:04 现在来看看这个L博士的计数表All right. Now
1055 00:55:06 我们正一步步迈向 我们的三万美金的目标we are inching towards our goal of $30
1056 00:55:09 所以下面我们将进行现场拍卖which brings us to the live auction.
1057 00:55:12 下一件拍卖品非常的特别The next item we have up for bids is something very special.
1058 00:55:16 我知道你们在想什么I know what you're thinking to yourself.
1059 00:55:17 你们在想 “杰克 什么东西能胜过阿黛尔演唱会You're thinking
1060 00:55:21 两张论坛体育馆楼下座的门票?”to see Adele at The Forum?"
1061 00:55:23 女士们先生们 你们最好先拿好手上的牌子Well
1062 00:55:27 因为我马上就要宣布了'cause I'ma tell you something.
1063 00:55:28 我们要拍卖的是...做好准备We are about ready to bid... Get ready for this.
1064 00:55:31 我们要拍卖的是完整不间断的两小时We're about ready to bid on two hours of uninterrupted
1065 00:55:35 与独一无二的 路易·史密克尔·特纳博士one-on-one time with the one and only
1066 00:55:38 面对面交流的机会!Doctor Lois Shmieckel-Turner!
1067 00:55:43 是的 她就在那里!- Yes
1068 00:55:45 花两个小时来获取一生的教育经验Two hours to glean an entire lifetime of parental knowledge
1069 00:55:50 来自南加州顶级教育专家之一from one of Southern California's leading educators.
1070 00:55:54 太疯狂了 他们告诉我起价是一千五Now
1071 00:55:58 但我不知道怎么了But I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is.
1072 00:56:00 老杰克今晚有点上头Old Jackie boy is feeling a little bit crazy tonight.
1073 00:56:03 既然我在这个 “无主题”主题派对玩得这么开心I don't know
1074 00:56:07 那么我得发一点小疯了that I'm gonna get a little crazy here
1075 00:56:09 我的起价不是一千五I'm not starting the biddin' off at $1
1076 00:56:11 而是两千美金!I'm gonna start it off at $2
1077 00:56:15 没错!谁要跟我一起玩呢?Yeah! So
1078 00:56:18 我听到两千一了吗? 谁出了两千一?在那边Do I hear $2
1079 00:56:23 两千一 有两千二吗?是谁?$2
1080 00:56:28 布莱恩·多德森！胖胖布莱恩 不是取笑你哦 你看起来很棒Brian Dodson! Big Brian. Not body-shaming. You look fantastic.
1081 00:56:33 天啊!女士们看看这位男士 我知道他已婚了 但你懂的My God! Ladies
1082 00:56:37 稍稍打量一眼无伤大雅little side glance won't hurt you.
1083 00:56:38 我听见两千三了吗?谁出了两千三?Do I hear 23? Who's got 23?
1084 00:56:41 乔安娜·威尔克森 她需要一个能当私人助理的保姆Joanna Wilkerson
1085 00:56:45 如果你们有推荐的话if you can help out.
1086 00:56:46 好了 两千四 我需要两千四 谁出两千四?All right
1087 00:56:49 布莱恩·多德森!又是我们的布莱恩Brian Dodson! Back to Big Brian.
1088 00:56:52 我的天!今晚很激烈啊Oh my God! We've got a dogfight going on here.
1089 00:56:55 但我最喜欢激烈And I'm jumping right in the middle of it.
1090 00:56:57 我不叫两千五 我不叫两千六 两千七 两千八I'm not going $2
1091 00:57:01 我要坐电梯直达顶楼I'm taking the elevator up to the penthouse.
1092 00:57:04 我要叫三千!I'm going $3
1093 00:57:09 耶!Yeah
1094 00:57:10 三千美元宝贝们!谁要加入?$3
1095 00:57:13 谁要出三千二?让我听见三千二Who's going $3
1096 00:57:16 三千二 很棒的数字 OJ·辛普森 白人吓死了Thirty-two. Great number. OJ Simpson. OJ Simpson scaring the white people.
1097 00:57:20 好的 马库斯·艾伦 谁出三千二?来吧All right. Marcus Allen. Who's going $3
1098 00:57:25 好吧 老杰克有点太疯狂了 那么三千一如何?All right. Old Jack
1099 00:57:29 三千一 谁出三千一?$3
1100 00:57:34 三千一?$3
1101 00:57:37 拜托各位 我看停车场上可是停满了特斯拉哦All right. Come on
1102 00:57:41 因为你的车很安静 不代表你也不能出声Just 'cause your car's quiet doesn't mean you have to be.
1103 00:57:44 3100美金- $3
1104 00:57:46 真的吗? 你们想看我用三千把它带走吗?Really? You're gonna let me walk with this for $3
1105 00:57:49 因为我就告诉你了 我会的'Cause I'll tell you right now. I'll take it. I will take it.
1106 00:57:52 三千?三千一次 三千两次$3
1107 00:57:57 三千?最后一次$3
1108 00:58:00 成交给杰克·凯利!- Sold to Jack Kelly!
1109 00:58:08 我真想杀了我自己I'm gonna fucking kill myself.
1110 00:58:11 嘿! 老杰克!I'm gonna fucking kill myself.
1111 00:58:14 耶!杰克·凯利!Yeah! Jack Kelly!
1112 00:58:19 这一阶段的拍卖到此结束All right. That concludes this portion of the auction.
1113 00:58:22 我们还剩下一些拍品We only have a few more items left to bid.
1114 00:58:24 拿好你们的牌子 我们还有目标要实现Please hold onto those paddles. We're gonna get to our goal
1115 00:58:27 玩得开心 继续喝Have a good time. Keep drinking those drinks.
1116 00:58:29 我一会回来拍最后几样东西I'll be back in a few moments for the last few items.
1117 00:58:31 玩得开心All right. Enjoy yourselves.
1118 00:58:48 杰克Jack.
1119 00:58:50 感谢你慷慨的捐赠I must thank you for your generous donation.
1120 00:58:54 坦白说 我也很惊讶 你愿意花两小时跟我待在一起And I'm also quite frankly surprised you'd want to spend two hours with me.
1121 00:59:00 是啊 我想我这人就是充满了惊喜Yeah. Well
1122 00:59:02 是的 你是的Yes. Yes
1123 00:59:03 而且我听说你丢了工作和你的公司considering I heard that you lost your job and your company.
1124 00:59:09 要渡过这个难关 你和你的家人还好吗?How are you and your family handling this setback?
1125 00:59:13 挺好Just fine.
1126 00:59:14 因为我们有很多阅读资源可以帮到你Because we have tons of literature that will help you
1127 00:59:16 帮你渡过 我相信是非常艰难的一段时间through what I know must be a very trying time.
1128 00:59:19 嘿 听着 L博士Hey
1129 00:59:21 你就别假惺惺了好吗?别装了you can drop the act
1130 00:59:24 你拿到我的钱了All right
1131 00:59:25 所以我想我的孩子 可以有一个很好的推荐书So now I guess my kid gets a good recommendation
1132 00:59:28 一切都好了and everything's fine.
1133 00:59:30 杰克 我希望你不是在影射 你的财务支持Jack
1134 00:59:33 可以给你孩子买一个推荐is going to buy your child a recommendation.
1135 00:59:37 我绝不会那样做的 不会Oh
1136 00:59:40 杰克 你现在这样 我不会怪你You know
1137 00:59:45 你只是被你这一辈子的特权 蒙蔽了双眼You're just blinded by a lifetime of privilege.
1138 00:59:49 如果我有特权 我没必要花两个小时If I was privileged
1139 00:59:52 假装我愿意和你说话了pretending I wanted to talk to you
1140 00:59:54 你说什么?Excuse me?
1141 00:59:55 你听见了You heard me.
1142 00:59:57 - 我想是的 - 很好- I guess I did. - Good.
1143 00:59:58 我会在给奈特写推荐书时 把这点考虑进去的I will take that into consideration when I write up Nate's recommendation.
1144 01:00:02 我信你会的 你就是这么运作的吗?Oh
1145 01:00:05 就因为你跟我有狗屁矛盾 就毁掉一个无辜的孩子?Fuck over an innocent child 'cause you have petty bullshit with me?
1146 01:00:08 你们已经开始聊天了 我希望...Hey. You two already started talking.
1147 01:00:14 我希望这不算在我们的两个小时里I hope that doesn't count against our two hours.
1148 01:00:16 你好 凯利太太Hello
1149 01:00:20 晚安 杰克Good night
1150 01:00:26 你跟她说了什么?What did you say to her?
1151 01:00:27 我什么都没做 她走过来 然后往我伤口上撒盐 莉亚I didn't do anything. She came over here. She started twisting the knife
1152 01:00:31 你对她说了什么?What did you say to her?
1153 01:00:34 你说呢 我说了什么?Of course. Of course. What did I say?
1154 01:00:36 杰克又说了什么? 你能不能有一次替我想想 莉亚?What did Jack say? Can you ever be in my corner
1155 01:00:40 我刚用掉了 我们压根就没有的三千块去花两小时I just dropped three grand that we don't have
1156 01:00:42 跟那个该死的自大狂相处to spend two hours with that fucking egomaniac.
1157 01:00:44 然后你过来又是那句 “杰克说了什么?”And you come over with
1158 01:00:47 我只是说了在场所有人想了很久You know what I said? I said what everybody is already thinking
1159 01:00:49 但没胆量说的话but doesn't have the fucking balls to say.
1160 01:00:54 很好 你要哭了是吗?Oh
1161 01:00:57 非常好- Yeah. Great.
1162 01:01:00 你是个混蛋You're an asshole.
1163 01:01:02 我是混蛋?那我为什么要做这些?Oh
1164 01:01:06 你生气了是吗?为了什么? 就因为我很诚实吗?What
1165 01:01:09 哈 莉亚?- Huh
1166 01:01:13 你们他妈的看什么看?What the fuck are you guys looking at
1167 01:01:16 是啊 我可以像你们一样Yeah
1168 01:01:18 假装在乎 你们一点也不在乎Pretending to care. You guys don't care.
1169 01:01:20 你们只想着别给自己惹麻烦All you're trying to do is not get in trouble.
1170 01:01:23 这就是你们这一代的问题That's what the fuck is wrong with your whole generation.
1171 01:01:26 好的 婴儿潮一代Okay
1172 01:01:27 是X世代!Generation X!
1173 01:01:30 懒散鬼Slacker.
1174 01:01:40 给你Here you go.
1175 01:02:06 哦 老天啊!Oh
1176 01:02:08 莉亚Leah.
1177 01:02:10 莉亚Leah.
1178 01:02:13 莉亚 开门Leah
1179 01:02:21 莉亚Leah.
1180 01:02:23 莉亚 快开门Leah
1181 01:02:26 我知道你听得见I know you can hear me.
1182 01:02:31 老天!Oh
1183 01:02:38 我会修好的I'll fix that.
1184 01:02:41 你他妈的有什么毛病?What the fuck is wrong with you?
1185 01:02:43 我有什么毛病?你把我锁外面了What the fuck's wrong with me? You locked me out.
1186 01:02:45 我知道 你站在这里干什么?I know I did. So
1187 01:02:48 因为我住这里'Cause I live here.
1188 01:02:49 杰克 我现在不想在这里看见你Oh
1189 01:02:53 好吧 随便吧 我可以睡沙发All right
1190 01:02:56 不 我受够了 我受够你的突然抽风No. I have had it. I have had it with your outbursts.
1191 01:03:00 我受够了你的无能 你无法预判自己的愤怒程度I have had it with your... your inability to understand your level of anger
1192 01:03:06 以及这些给我们家带来的负面影响and the negative effect it's having on our family.
1193 01:03:08 对不起 今晚我是有点走偏了 我只是...Okay
1194 01:03:11 别说了No. No. No.
1195 01:03:14 你不能一次又一次地这么做You don't get to keep doing this over and over and over again
1196 01:03:18 然后想着道个歉就没事了 因为不会没事 懂吗?and just thinking that an apology makes it okay
1197 01:03:23 你今晚他妈的羞辱了我 也羞辱了你的儿子You fucking humiliated me tonight. And you humiliated your son.
1198 01:03:27 我已经不想再跟你争辩了!And I am past arguing about it with you!
1199 01:03:34 你什么意思?What... what are you saying?
1200 01:03:36 我只需要你离开 杰克I just need you to leave
1201 01:03:39 因为现在我不知道我还想不想 继续和你一起养育我们的孩子Because right now
1202 01:03:42 - 好吗? - 老天爷!真的假的?- Okay? - Oh
1203 01:03:44 你真的要做到那份上吗?- Yes! - You're gonna take it to that level?
1204 01:03:45 是的 我真的要做到那份上 杰克!Yes
1205 01:03:48 - 就因为那些狗屁! - 没错!- Because of that bullshit down there! - Exactly!
1206 01:03:50 我告诉过你会那样的!That I told you was gonna happen! I told you!
1207 01:03:52 我在那边 像个他妈的小丑一样上蹿下跳!And I'm down there dancing like a fucking show pony!
1208 01:03:55 收拾你的行李!Pack your bag!
1209 01:04:01 - 亲爱的 对不起 - 嘿 小家伙- Oh
1210 01:04:05 过来 我们吵醒你了吗?Oh. Come here. Did we wake you up?
1211 01:04:08 妈妈 为什么爸爸要走?Mommy
1212 01:04:13 爸爸有很多工作要做Daddy's got a lot of work he's gotta do
1213 01:04:18 你什么时候能做完呢 爸爸?When are you gonna be done
1214 01:04:24 我也不知道 小家伙Um
1215 01:04:29 我们回去睡觉好吗?Hey. Let's get you back to bed
1216 01:04:32 好了Okay.
1217 01:04:58 该死Oh shit.
1218 01:05:16 我说了不要洋葱I said no onions.
1219 01:05:23 不好意思 先生Oh
1220 01:05:26 你不能在这里抽烟You can't smoke out here.
1221 01:05:30 那你在干什么?Well
1222 01:05:33 这是电子烟Uh
1223 01:05:36 有什么区别?What's the difference?
1224 01:05:37 区别在于 我不会让人 老远就闻到我在干的事情The difference is people can't smell what I'm doing from ten blocks away.
1225 01:05:41 但我能看到你在干的事情 这叫抽烟All right. Well
1226 01:05:44 所以 你把你的灭了 我就灭了我的So
1227 01:05:48 我不想摆什么架子 但是我是这家酒店的老板I don't mean to pull rank here
1228 01:05:51 汽车旅馆Motel.
1229 01:05:53 - 什么? - 这是汽车旅馆- What? - It's a motel.
1230 01:05:54 敞开的院子 连环杀人犯 可以直接走到我的门口来Open courtyard. A serial killer can walk right up to my door
1231 01:05:58 如果这是酒店 他就得从大堂进来If this was a hotel
1232 01:06:02 就是汽车旅馆 所以你何必装腔作势呢?It's a motel. So
1233 01:06:07 嘿 问你一句 你他妈的有什么毛病?Hey
1234 01:06:12 我有什么毛病? 我的毛病就是我生活在一个What's my problem? My problem is I live in a world
1235 01:06:15 有人自己抽着烟的人 却叫别人不要抽烟的世界里where a guy who's smoking is telling me I can't smoke
1236 01:06:18 简而言之 那就是我的毛病所在That
1237 01:06:19 简而言之 这不算是抽烟Well
1238 01:06:22 什么叫抽烟 伙计?What makes it smoking
1239 01:06:24 就是有他妈的烟从你的嘴里出来is the fucking smoke coming out of your mouth
1240 01:06:27 快滚吧 不然信不信 我把你丢到那该死的泳池里?So
1241 01:06:31 我不听过分夸张的话!I don't respond to hyperbole!
1242 01:06:32 - 很好 我不知道你在说什么 - 你想挨揍的话就继续说吧- Good. I don't know what that means. - If you want an ass-kicking
1243 01:06:36 “过分夸张”! 真是跟酒店一样高级的词汇呢Oh! "Hyperbole"! I got big hotel words.
1244 01:06:38 两位女士 哇 这是在干什么呢?Ladies
1245 01:06:41 今天是个好天 放松点 看看风景It's a nice day. Relax. Take in the view.
1246 01:06:45 嘿 我能问你一个问题吗?Sweetheart
1247 01:06:47 问什么?Yeah
1248 01:06:48 你觉得抽电子烟是抽烟吗?Do you think vaping is smoking?
1249 01:06:50 当然 而且它正在毁了这个国家Oh
1250 01:06:53 谢谢你 好了 我陈述完了Thank you. Thank you. There. I rest my case.
1251 01:06:57 还有那些该死的移民Yeah
1252 01:07:02 我们还能放进来多少啊?I mean
1253 01:07:10 给我的肚子腾出了点地方Well
1254 01:07:14 我好期待这个宝宝派对啊I'm excited for this baby shower.
1255 01:07:15 是不是很高兴 莉亚建议我们男女都请?Aren't you glad Leah suggested we do coed?
1256 01:07:18 - 一定会很有意思的 对吗? - 肯定的- We're gonna have fun
1257 01:07:23 宝贝 看着我Baby
1258 01:07:26 我知道你很害怕 我也是I know you're scared
1259 01:07:29 但我不能再生活在恐惧中了But I can't live in fear anymore.
1260 01:07:31 我需要让你知道我的诉求 不然这事没法继续下去I need you to know what I need
1261 01:07:35 我希望不仅是这个孩子 还有我们的关系 都能变得正式I want us to be official. And not just for the baby but for us.
1262 01:07:42 我爱你 迈克 我想跟你结婚I love you
1263 01:07:46 我知道你可能需要一些时间来消化 而且...And I know you may need some time to process this
1264 01:07:49 好的Okay.
1265 01:07:51 好吗?Okay?
1266 01:07:54 对Yep.
1267 01:07:56 那你也不抱我一下吗?真是的Well
1268 01:08:07 你要去哪里?Where are you going?
1269 01:08:08 不去哪里 就去登记投个票Nowhere. I'm just gonna go register to vote.
1270 01:08:30 你好!这是我妈妈的电话 她现在不能接听Hi! You've reached my mom. She's not here.
1271 01:08:34 - 叫他留言 - 请留言- Tell 'em to leave a message. - Leave a message.
1272 01:08:54 (脑神经科学 凯伦·韦伯 治疗师)- Tell 'em to leave a message. - Leave a message.
1273 01:08:56 - 满满爱意的熏牛肉 - 好的- From pastrami with love. - Yeah.
1274 01:08:58 薯条加脆 奥利奥奶昔Fries extra crispy. Oreo cookie shake.
1275 01:09:02 - 还有根汁汽水 - 谢谢- And a root beer. - Thank you.
1276 01:09:25 你确定要这样吗?You sure you wanna do this?
1277 01:09:27 没有别的可做了There's nothing else to do.
1278 01:09:32 - 天啊 我想死这口粉了 - 你从哪里弄来的?- Oh God. I miss coke. - Where the fuck did you get that?
1279 01:09:35 别担心 杰克Don't worry about that
1280 01:09:38 我有人 现在让我们 嗨翻整个拉斯维加斯吧!Now let's go set this neon town on fire!
1281 01:09:42 在拉斯维加斯发生的事 就留在拉斯维加斯What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
1282 01:09:44 好的 我们还在波莫纳呢 所以悠着点Okay
1283 01:09:47 你自己悠着点吧 我还有90分钟You fucking pace yourself
1284 01:09:49 我老婆就要回家 发现是我妹妹在看孩子before my wife gets home and notices my sister watching the kids.
1285 01:09:52 所以 有可能是我嗨了 但我不管So
1286 01:09:57 我的兄弟小迈就要结婚了- My man Mikey here is getting married.
1287 01:10:00 那是什么?就我们仨吧?What was that? It's just us in here
1288 01:10:03 是的 没事的 放松点兄弟 就是路上硌了一下Yeah
1289 01:10:06 就硌了一下!- It was a bump in the road. Just the road! - Whoa! Sh! Sh! Sh!
1290 01:10:10 好的 我没事Okay. I'm good.
1291 01:10:13 这回你看着他- You're watching him this time.
1292 01:10:21 ♪ Face to face ♪- You're watching him this time.
1293 01:10:23 ♪ Out in the night ♪- You're watching him this time.
1294 01:10:26 ♪ Hangin' tough- You're watching him this time.
1295 01:10:33 ♪ It's the dream of the fight ♪- You're watching him this time.
1296 01:10:35 ♪ Watching us all in the eye ♪- You're watching him this time.
1297 01:10:40 ♪ Of the tiger... ♪- You're watching him this time.
1298 01:10:45 ♪ The eye of the tiger ♪- You're watching him this time.
1299 01:10:46 (拉斯维加斯 棕榈沙漠)- You're watching him this time.
1300 01:10:50 各位 我的脚麻了Guys
1301 01:10:51 我可以开车 要我开吗?Dude
1302 01:10:53 不可能No fucking way.
1303 01:10:58 这个坐骨神经痛一旦发作... 你确定你没事吧?All right
1304 01:11:02 是的 没关系的- You sure you all right with this? - Yeah
1305 01:11:06 我觉得我的运气不错I'm feeling lucky.
1306 01:11:12 (金泉酒店)I'm feeling lucky.
1307 01:11:12 ♪ Lady love ♪I'm feeling lucky.
1308 01:11:15 ♪ Your love is peaceful... ♪I'm feeling lucky.
1309 01:11:16 去他的拉斯维加斯Yeah
1310 01:11:18 那些赌场 都是当年创办哈里伯顿的人开的Those casinos are all owned by the people who started Halliburton.
1311 01:11:22 看看这里 这里可太棒了Look at this place. This place is great.
1312 01:11:24 我要输钱 我情愿输在一个美国原住民的赌场里If I'm gonna lose money
1313 01:11:27 我喜欢 是的 金钱正义I like it. Yeah! Monetary justice.
1314 01:11:29 靠 这次的粉不太好 我要去拉屎了Goddamn
1315 01:11:31 - 我们在体育博彩那里碰头吧? - 体育博彩 好的 一会见- Uh
1316 01:11:37 喂 迈克去哪了?Hey
1317 01:11:44 布兰妮?是我Britney? It's me.
1318 01:11:51 卡拉Cara.
1319 01:11:52 别这么惊讶Don't look so surprised.
1320 01:11:54 布兰妮和我关系很好的Britney and I are actually incredibly close.
1321 01:11:57 虽然不是那种每天都聊天增加感情It's not like that kind of thing where we have to talk every day to reinforce it.
1322 01:12:00 哦 当然了Right. Uh
1323 01:12:04 我很抱歉我说你不会教孩子了Um
1324 01:12:07 我太越界了 所以我们能翻篇了吗?- That was a total overstep. - Hmm. So
1325 01:12:14 我已经翻篇了 我以为你也是Oh
1326 01:12:19 我刚翻了I just did.
1327 01:12:21 快进来 因为布兰妮真的很需要我们Well
1328 01:12:23 好吧Right.
1329 01:12:25 哦不!Oh no!
1330 01:12:27 - 不能再下注了 - 嘿 他在这儿呢- No more bets. - Hey
1331 01:12:30 悠着点老大 现在是什么情况?Easy
1332 01:12:32 唐尼 给我换五千块Donnie
1333 01:12:35 别 你在干什么?Oh
1334 01:12:38 没事的 这把肯定赢It's okay. I'm due.
1335 01:12:40 迈克 你这辈子 就赌博过多少 四次吧?Mike
1336 01:12:43 你他妈的怎么能赢?How the fuck are you due?
1337 01:12:45 好吧 杰克All right
1338 01:12:47 我是个保守的人I'm a conservative man.
1339 01:12:49 我开四门轿车 有七个安全气囊I drive a four-door sedan with seven airbags.
1340 01:12:53 我结扎了 但你猜怎么回事?I got a vasectomy. Guess what?
1341 01:12:57 她还是怀孕了She got pregnant anyway.
1342 01:12:59 然后我丢了工作 公司和退休金Then I lost my job
1343 01:13:03 都是因为我决定履行我的言论自由all because I decided to exercise free speech
1344 01:13:06 在他妈的一辆租来的车后座上!in the back of a goddamn rental car!
1345 01:13:09 所以没错 杰克 我觉得我他妈的就要赢了!So
1346 01:13:13 好的 抱歉Okay
1347 01:13:15 但你看看整个赌场 迈克 每个人都觉得自己会赢But look. Look around the casino
1348 01:13:20 看那位可怜的女士 她看起来好像在潜水Look at that poor lady. She looks like she's scuba diving.
1349 01:13:25 嘿 那是阿斯彭·贝尔吗?Hey. Is that Aspen Bell?
1350 01:13:31 不会吧No fucking way.
1351 01:13:35 天啊 就是他Holy shit. That is him.
1352 01:13:37 - 跟你说了我要转运了 - 我们走- Told you my luck's changing. - Let's go.
1353 01:13:50 ♪ Yeah ♪- Told you my luck's changing. - Let's go.
1354 01:13:53 ♪ I kick it root down I put my root down ♪- Told you my luck's changing. - Let's go.
1355 01:13:58 - ♪ So- Told you my luck's changing. - Let's go.
1356 01:14:00 - ♪ Yeah- Told you my luck's changing. - Let's go.
1357 01:14:03 - ♪ So- Told you my luck's changing. - Let's go.
1358 01:14:05 ♪ Gonna break it on down Gonna kick it root down ♪- Told you my luck's changing. - Let's go.
1359 01:14:08 - 哇 - 糟了!- Whoa
1360 01:14:09 - 抱歉 - 抱歉- Sorry. - Sorry.
1361 01:14:14 - 嘿! - 嘿 老兄!你好吗?- Hey! - Hey
1362 01:14:16 操!什么情况?Oh fuck! What the fuck?
1363 01:14:17 你这个混蛋!Yeah
1364 01:14:18 说话时看着我们 你这个垃圾!Look at us when we're talking
1365 01:14:20 你惹了不该惹的爹了 朋友You fucked with the wrong dads
1366 01:14:23 你在这里 挥霍从我们建的公司里赚来的钱吗?What
1367 01:14:26 你订了套房吗?Did you book a suite
1368 01:14:28 不是的 我是来做感受力训练的No
1369 01:14:30 你最好是 因为你是个该死的人渣!You should be. 'Cause you're a fucking dick!
1370 01:14:33 等一下 感受力训练?那是什么?Wait a second. Wait a second. Sensitivity training? What's that?
1371 01:14:37 你们知道美洲原住民 觉得“兽灵”这个词很冒犯吗?Did you guys know that Native Americans take offense to the term "spirit animal"?
1372 01:14:42 你因为卖艾德·卡梅隆的T恤 而惹麻烦了吗?Wait. Did you get in trouble for selling those Ed Cameron T-shirts?
1373 01:14:46 无限期停职了Suspended indefinitely
1374 01:14:48 我觉得这是千禧一代的“炒鱿鱼”- I think that's millennial for "fired."
1375 01:14:51 怂逼混蛋就是这个下场!That's what happens to punk motherfuckers!
1376 01:14:52 真讽刺啊!How ironic!
1377 01:14:54 无缘无故被炒鱿鱼的感觉怎么样?Yeah
1378 01:14:56 “对你表示感恩!” 太逗了 我的天!"I appreciate you!" Oh boy. Oh my God!
1379 01:14:59 - 怎么回事? - 天啊!- What's happening? - Oh Jesus!
1380 01:15:01 该死的推特 他们把我曝出来了Fucking Twitter. They fucking posted me.
1381 01:15:03 好了 冷静点All right
1382 01:15:04 他们把我家的地址发在了红迪网上They fucking put my home address on Reddit.
1383 01:15:07 我女朋友也离开了我And my girlfriend left me.
1384 01:15:14 对 但你们没看到他脸上的表情Yeah
1385 01:15:17 我觉得他不想再跟我在一起了I don't think he wants to be with me anymore.
1386 01:15:19 相信我 他想的Trust me. He does.
1387 01:15:21 你怎么知道?How do you know?
1388 01:15:23 因为康纳一直都是那种表情Because Connor has that look on his face all the time.
1389 01:15:25 - 这说明不了什么 - 肯定有些什么It means nothing.
1390 01:15:28 我知道这说明什么了- It has to mean something. - This is what it means.
1391 01:15:29 这说明他们需要我们 他们自己知道 且觉得不安It means they need us. They know it. It bothers them.
1392 01:15:34 哦 拜托Oh please.
1393 01:15:36 别问我要建议 好吗?Do not look to me for advice
1394 01:15:38 我嫁了一个彻底的疯子I married an absolute lunatic.
1395 01:15:41 你知道他跟一整排的大学生打架吗?Do you know that he tried to fight an entire row of college kids
1396 01:15:45 就在电影院 我们第二次约会的时候at the ArcLight Cinema on our second date?
1397 01:15:48 还赢了 彻底把我迷住了And it worked. It totally charmed me.
1398 01:15:50 我允许他摸我的胸了I let him touch my boobs.
1399 01:15:53 也许我曾经希望得到更多 但卡拉说的对I guess I was hoping for something more
1400 01:15:58 我想男人就是很肤浅很简单的I think
1401 01:16:04 所以我想说的是So
1402 01:16:08 这是你人生中为数不多的 可以让你觉得不负此生的东西it's one of the only things in life that lives up to the hype.
1403 01:16:11 你在工作中取得的任何成就 都不能跟它相比I mean
1404 01:16:13 所以如果你对汉娜 是有那种感觉 就该告诉她so if you feel that way about Hannah
1405 01:16:17 因为生命中唯一重要的事就是 你是否爱某个人 以及他们是否爱你'Cause the only thing that matters in life is if you love someone and they love you.
1406 01:16:22 只有那些是重要的 还有你的孩子That's all that matters. That and your kids.
1407 01:16:26 老天!看她那屁股Jesus Christ! Look at the fucking ass on her.
1408 01:16:29 我的天!没错Oh my God! Yeah.
1409 01:16:30 好了，迎接周二晚上的美刀吧All right! Let's get those Tuesday night dollars coming.
1410 01:16:33 跟我来- Come with me.
1411 01:16:35 不用了 谢谢 我挺好的Oh
1412 01:16:36 你朋友可不是这么跟我说的 他花钱买了两段舞That's not what your friend told me. He paid for two dances.
1413 01:16:40 在拉斯维加斯发生的事 就留在拉斯维加斯 亲爱的!What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
1414 01:16:43 老兄 我们在棕榈沙漠!We're in Palm Desert
1415 01:16:45 你妈妈才在棕榈沙漠 怂包!Your mother's in Palm Desert
1416 01:16:47 没错! “你妈妈才在棕榈沙漠 怂包!”Yeah! "Your mother's in Palm Desert
1417 01:16:50 兄弟!我跟他不熟哦My man! We're not friends.
1418 01:16:53 来吧Come on.
1419 01:16:56 嘿 下一个到你 潮男!Hey
1420 01:17:00 你给我克制一点 安静点I need you to bring that energy way down.
1421 01:17:04 没关系 真的 他没什么问题 兰迪It's okay. Really. He's cool. He's cool
1422 01:17:07 没关系 兰迪 我不搞事Yeah
1423 01:17:10 来吧Give me some.
1424 01:17:11 击一个!Pound it out!
1425 01:17:13 兰迪!Randy!
1426 01:17:15 不好意思Aw
1427 01:17:17 没事Oh
1428 01:17:18 如果我是他 我也会被吓到的I mean
1429 01:17:20 是的 你确实很健硕Oh
1430 01:17:23 是吗?谢谢你 我练得很凶 你的身材也不错Oh
1431 01:17:27 你的皮肤很棒You're in great shape too. You have awesome skin.
1432 01:17:29 谢谢Thank you.
1433 01:17:30 你几岁了?How old are you?
1434 01:17:32 这我不能告诉你Aw
1435 01:17:34 你觉得我几岁了?How old do you think I am?
1436 01:17:37 -49岁 -什么?- Forty-nine. - What?
1437 01:17:41 你怎么知道的?How do you know that?
1438 01:17:43 脖子The neck.
1439 01:17:46 "爆女"泰勒正在主舞台上Tyler "Blam
1440 01:17:52 感觉如何?How you doing?
1441 01:17:53 之前我精神崩溃了一下子I think I had a nervous breakdown earlier
1442 01:17:56 不过现在没事了but I'm cool now.
1443 01:17:59 那可真是太可怕了Aw
1444 01:18:01 不过别担心了 老爹Well
1445 01:18:04 别叫我“老爹”好么Just don't call me "Daddy."
1446 01:18:07 - 你想让我叫你什么? - 叫我迈克吧- What do you want me to call you? - Call me Mike.
1447 01:18:10 那太无趣了That's no fun.
1448 01:18:13 我要叫你大家伙迈克I'm gonna call you Hella Mike.
1449 01:18:19 大家伙迈克Mmm. Hella Mike.
1450 01:18:27 这地方真差劲 我看着可不像49岁 我像吗?Fuck this place
1451 01:18:32 像47岁Forty-seven.
1452 01:18:33 操你妈!Man
1453 01:18:35 看见那边那家伙了吗? 那才是49岁的样子See that guy over there? That's a 49-year-old man.
1454 01:18:42 我跟你说Let me tell you something.
1455 01:18:43 你绝对想不到 我像你那么大的时候有多厉害You have no idea how awesome I was at your age.
1456 01:18:46 我同时和两个小妞交往I was dating two chicks at the same time
1457 01:18:48 她们都叫艾米 而且互相认识both of them named Amy
1458 01:18:52 她们一点不介意 快乐地一起共享我And they loved it. Happy to share me.
1459 01:18:54 以前我随时都可以 跟我的哥儿们出来玩I used to hang out with my boys whenever I wanted
1460 01:18:57 想吃什么吃什么 喝一整天的啤酒I could eat whatever I wanted
1461 01:19:00 睡觉睡到我彻底恢复精力了为止slept until I wasn't tired anymore.
1462 01:19:02 有一次在机场 胡利奥·伊格莱西亚斯走过来One time
1463 01:19:07 非常确定我就是他儿子安立奎dead certain I was his son
1464 01:19:09 我就是散发出那种光环 兄弟!The fucking kind of vibe I was putting out
1465 01:19:12 很自然 毫不费力And it was effortless. It was fucking effortless.
1466 01:19:16 真可笑That's ridiculous.
1467 01:19:19 我以前是挺可笑的I was ridiculous.
1468 01:19:23 砸钱吧 伙计们 来吧Throw those dollars
1469 01:19:25 我是大家伙迈克!我真爱这一刻!♪ Uh
1470 01:19:28 ♪ I'm Hella Mike! That's what I like♪ Uh
1471 01:19:32 我不知道I don't know.
1472 01:19:34 我这辈子遇到太多事了I have faced a lot of stuff in my life.
1473 01:19:38 失去我的家庭这事 比我遇到的任何事情都要可怕The fear of losing my family is worse than anything I've ever faced before.
1474 01:19:45 我的脑子里一直上演可能发生的场景My brain just keeps playing out this scenario about what could happen.
1475 01:19:49 每两周的周末见一次我的孩子You know
1476 01:19:52 我老婆会嫁给一个整形医生之类的My wife's gonna be married to some fucking orthopedist.
1477 01:19:55 充满理性的混蛋Levelheaded cocksucker.
1478 01:20:01 我搞不懂 也许莉亚是对的Yeah
1479 01:20:06 也许我真的不适合Maybe I'm not cut out for this shit.
1480 01:20:08 虽然说我很享受做父亲的感觉I mean
1481 01:20:12 天啊 是她 别出声!Holy shit
1482 01:20:15 莉亚!听着 我要为我所做的一切道歉Leah
1483 01:20:20 什么?What?
1484 01:20:23 等一下 你是谁?Wait
1485 01:20:26 迈克!布兰妮来电话了Mike! Mike! Mike! Britney called.
1486 01:20:31 莉亚要生了Leah's in labor.
1487 01:20:33 谢天谢地!你可吓死我了Thank God! Man
1488 01:20:36 恭喜你!- Congratulations! - Thank you.
1489 01:20:38 女士们 我兄弟杰克又要当爸爸了Ladies
1490 01:20:44 - 那真是太好了! - 谢谢- That's so amazing! - Oh
1491 01:20:47 你会是个非常棒的爸爸You're gonna be such a great dad.
1492 01:20:49 多谢了I appreciate that.
1493 01:20:50 - 我真为你感到高兴 兄弟 - 谢谢你 伙计- I'm so happy for you
1494 01:20:53 她提早了几周 所以我还挺担心的She's a couple of weeks early
1495 01:20:55 - 我们快走吧 - 你去吧- Let's get the fuck out of here. - You go ahead. I'm good.
1496 01:20:58 - 不用管我 - 你他妈的在说什么?The fuck are you talking about?
1497 01:21:02 我不回去I'm not going back.
1498 01:21:04 我现在是大家伙迈克!This is me now. Hella Mike!
1499 01:21:07 大家伙迈克?是什么鬼?- Whoo! - Hella Mike? Who the fuck is Hella Mike?
1500 01:21:10 大家伙迈克?我看你是喝大了- Hella Mike? Mike
1501 01:21:13 迈克 家里有事情等着你处理 我相信你能够也愿意去处理好Mike
1502 01:21:16 因为你是个顶天立地的男人because you're a fucking man.
1503 01:21:18 你是个顶天立地的男人Look at me. You're a fucking man.
1504 01:21:20 迈克 拜托Mike
1505 01:21:26 你说得很对 杰克You're absolutely right
1506 01:21:29 我爱你 兄弟I love you
1507 01:21:31 我也爱你 兄弟I love you too
1508 01:21:37 嘿 伙计 这是你五分钟里 第三杯鸡尾酒了 你还好吗?Hey
1509 01:21:42 “嘿 伙计”我跟你说"Hey
1510 01:21:47 不要去计算别的男人喝了多少酒Don't ever count another man's drinks.
1511 01:21:51 还有And one more thing.
1512 01:21:54 不要结婚Don't ever get fucking married.
1513 01:22:04 康纳?- Connor?
1514 01:22:05 康纳 搞什么?你没事吧?Connor
1515 01:22:08 我该怎么办?搞什么啊?我靠!Whoa
1516 01:22:14 糟了!Shit!
1517 01:22:15 - 嘿!我告诉过你别搞事! - 等一下!- Hey! I told you to fucking relax! - Wait!
1518 01:22:18 - 坏了! - 搞什么啊?- Oh shit! - What the fuck
1519 01:22:20 他噎住了!He's choking! He's choking!
1520 01:22:22 啊 该死!- Oh shit! - Whoa
1521 01:22:23 - 冷静! - 我们一起的- Relax! Relax! - He's with us.
1522 01:22:25 该死!- Shit!
1523 01:22:27 我不认识他们!I'm not with them! I'm not with them!
1524 01:22:30 哇!芭芭拉!Whoa! Barbara!
1525 01:22:33 我老婆要生了!- My wife is in labor!
1526 01:22:35 放开我!Get off!
1527 01:22:37 - 嘿 恭喜你当爸爸了 - 你他妈要去哪里?- Hey
1528 01:22:43 女士们还在跳着Ladies are still dancing.
1529 01:22:45 康纳!Connor!
1530 01:22:46 小小插曲 不要在意Don't mind that skirmish.
1531 01:22:48 我跟他们不是一伙的! 告诉他们我们不是一起的!I'm not with them! I'm not with them! Tell them I'm not with you guys!
1532 01:22:52 你还好吗 伙计?- You okay
1533 01:22:55 - 你还好吗 伙计? - 我来了!- You all right
1534 01:22:58 康纳!该死!- Connor! Oh shit!
1535 01:23:02 嘿!Hey! Hey!
1536 01:23:04 是的 没错!抖音直播 混蛋!Yeah
1537 01:23:07 记录下你们过度使用武力 来对付这些手无寸铁的可怜老父亲Documenting your use of excessive force on these poor
1538 01:23:12 拿下他的手机!Get that fucking camera!
1539 01:23:14 朋友们 快跑!Guys
1540 01:23:16 操!该死的!老天啊! 我就是个无辜的旁观者!Fuck! Shit! Oh God! I am an innocent bystander here!
1541 01:23:20 我们得走了 迈克!We gotta go
1542 01:23:23 求你了 放我走! 别碰我!我要尿尿!Oh no! Please let me go! Don't touch me! I gotta pee!
1543 01:23:25 二号舞台的是阿拉贝拉That's Arabella on stage two.
1544 01:23:35 伙计们 我醉得太厉害了 你们谁能开车?Guys
1545 01:23:42 该死Oh fuck.
1546 01:23:51 - 好了 - 你们当中最好有人叫康纳!- All right. - One of you guys better be Connor!
1547 01:23:54 - 你是里奇? - 你怎么知道我的名字?- You Richie? - How'd you know my name?
1548 01:23:56 - 哦 上面有写 - 你跟照片不一样啊- Oh
1549 01:23:59 先生 你介意我们 把这些高尔夫球杆移走吗?Do you mind if we move those golf clubs out of the back seat?
1550 01:24:02 是的 我介意Yeah
1551 01:24:04 为什么?Why?
1552 01:24:05 因为那是 一整套的李·特维诺 木质杆头Because they're a full set of Lee Trevino. Wooden heads.
1553 01:24:11 所以你们给我闭上嘴 在前排坐好So you're gonna shut the fuck up
1554 01:24:15 别跟个基佬一样and stop being such a fucking Mary.
1555 01:24:18 你开心了?Are you fucking happy?
1556 01:24:19 我觉得很好了 走吧That's good enough for me. Let's go.
1557 01:24:25 老天!我看看你们的目的地是哪里Jesus! Now
1558 01:24:30 我的老天爷!纪念医院?Um... Oh
1559 01:24:33 那在洛杉矶市区 160多公里呢 老兄That's downtown LA. It's 100 miles
1560 01:24:36 我老婆在分娩 她要生孩子了 我们快走吧!Yeah. Yeah
1561 01:24:38 等一下 你多大了?Wait a second. How old are you?
1562 01:24:41 51岁Fifty-one.
1563 01:24:42 依然宝刀未老啊You still can fire a shot.
1564 01:24:46 - 很厉害我喜欢 - 谢谢- That's very cool. I like that. - Thank you.
1565 01:24:47 老兄 你叫的是哪个平台的车?Dude
1566 01:24:49 - 我可以再叫一辆 - 我听得懂英语- I could call another driver. - I speak English.
1567 01:24:53 ♪ Splish splash- I could call another driver. - I speak English.
1568 01:24:56 ♪ 'Long about a Saturday night ♪- I could call another driver. - I speak English.
1569 01:25:00 ♪ Rub dub- I could call another driver. - I speak English.
1570 01:25:03 ♪ Thinkin' everything was all right ♪- I could call another driver. - I speak English.
1571 01:25:06 ♪ Then- I could call another driver. - I speak English.
1572 01:25:10 ♪ Wrapped my towel around me I opened the door ♪- I could call another driver. - I speak English.
1573 01:25:13 ♪ And then a splish splash I jumped back in the bath ♪- I could call another driver. - I speak English.
1574 01:25:16 ♪ How was I to know There was a party going on? ♪- I could call another driver. - I speak English.
1575 01:25:20 砰砰 我看见 一群人在客厅地毯上跳舞♪ Bing bang
1576 01:25:27 噗噗 他们在跳波普...♪ Flip flop
1577 01:25:29 该死的 这些烂人!Goddamn it
1578 01:25:34 真他妈的见缝插针Ugh! What a fucking sewer.
1579 01:25:37 所以我才离开了这该死的城市That's why I left this goddamn city.
1580 01:25:39 一个个金发傻缺怀揣梦想来到这里Every blond-headed dipshit with a dream has to come all the way down here
1581 01:25:44 给人口交 就为了做他妈的游戏节目主持人suck dick to host a fucking game show.
1582 01:25:50 里奇 我要错过我孩子的出生了Richie
1583 01:25:52 谁在乎这个啊 伙计?Oh
1584 01:25:54 你知道我那该死的孩子出生的时候 我在哪里吗?You know where I was when my rotten kid was born?
1585 01:25:57 我在街上的一家酒吧里I was down the street in a bar.
1586 01:25:59 喝着啤酒吃着炸蛤蜊 因为我每天都这么过Having a beer
1587 01:26:04 走啊!- Let's go!
1588 01:26:05 里奇 我们能掉个头什么的吗?Richie
1589 01:26:08 我从36岁开始就想着要掉头了 伙计I've been trying to make U-turns since I was 36 years old
1590 01:26:11 做不到啊!Can't be done!
1591 01:26:14 我这辈子犯的最大的错误...I'll tell you
1592 01:26:17 你这个基佬混球!- You fudge-packing asshole!
1593 01:26:21 我靠 不止一个呢!请直行!Oh fuck
1594 01:26:26 你上次看见有人在“停”的指示牌前面 停下是什么时候?When is the last time you ever saw one of those bastards obey a stop sign?
1595 01:26:43 你去哪里?等等Where are you going? Wait.
1596 01:26:44 - 嘿 杰克!你在做什... - 杰克- Hey
1597 01:26:46 我靠 给你打零星 里奇 零星!- Fuck. Zero stars
1598 01:26:51 逃兵役去吧 混蛋!Go dodge a draft
1599 01:26:55 好主意啊 杰克Oh
1600 01:26:57 - 要怎么搞? - 拍照就行了- What do I do? - Just take the picture.
1601 01:26:59 - 我拍了 - 对 做得好- I took the picture. Am I good? - You're good.
1602 01:27:01 我要怎么用它?What are they? How do I work these?
1603 01:27:03 就像滑板一样 推一下就走了!是电动的!It's like a fucking skateboard. Just push it. Go! It's electric!
1604 01:27:07 - 上去 - 不动啊!- Get on. - It's not going!
1605 01:27:08 按一下!Hit the thing!
1606 01:27:09 - 按哪里? - 按那个!- What thing? - Hit the thing!
1607 01:27:10 好了!I got it! I got it! I got it!
1608 01:27:12 快点 我们走!Come on. Let's go!
1609 01:27:13 - 你知道我用翻盖手机吧? - 什么?- You know I got a flip phone? - What the fuck?
1610 01:27:15 怎么了?我不想被人追踪我的定位!What? I don't want motherfuckers tracking me!
1611 01:27:17 大哥 没人想知道你在哪里 快上来!Man
1612 01:27:22 啊 糟了!Oh shit!
1613 01:27:24 小心!Easy!
1614 01:27:25 - 好了! - 老天!- All right! - Christ!
1615 01:27:26 哇!这玩意太棒了 真是太棒了!Whoo! These things are awesome. These fucking things are awesome!
1616 01:27:33 共享道路!Share the road!
1617 01:27:35 冲到最前面!- We're gonna lead! - Whoa! Whoa!
1618 01:27:50 快!Go
1619 01:27:55 产科?Maternity? Maternity?
1620 01:27:58 谢谢Thank you.
1621 01:28:02 杰克?Jack?
1622 01:28:04 干得好That's a good move.
1623 01:28:10 我错过了?I missed it?
1624 01:28:16 我他妈的错过了 我错过了I fucking missed it. I missed it.
1625 01:28:20 爸爸!Daddy!
1626 01:28:24 嘿 小家伙 你好吗?Hey
1627 01:28:26 爸爸 我有妹妹了Daddy
1628 01:28:29 是的Yes
1629 01:28:30 你在哭吗?- Are you crying?
1630 01:28:36 一点点A little bit.
1631 01:28:37 一点点A little bit.
1632 01:28:39 为什么?Why?
1633 01:28:41 因为我搞砸了 小家伙 我搞砸了'Cause I messed up
1634 01:28:46 没关系 抹点土就行了It's okay. Rub some dirt on it.
1635 01:28:51 是啊 抹点土对吗? 你是最棒的 小家伙Yeah
1636 01:28:55 不 你是最棒的No
1637 01:29:01 杰克 你要整理下你自己 过来看看你的女儿吗?Jack
1638 01:29:05 好的Yeah.
1639 01:29:13 这是给你的- Hey
1640 01:29:18 她很漂亮 来吧 小公主She's beautiful. Here. Here
1641 01:29:21 等一下 你身上都是亮片 别碰她Just a second. No skin-to-skin with the glitter.
1642 01:29:25 对哦 好吧Oh. Yeah
1643 01:29:27 莉亚 我知道 你超级生我的气Listen
1644 01:29:29 这是应该的And you have every right to be.
1645 01:29:32 但我想让你知道 我非常爱你Okay
1646 01:29:36 很抱歉 因为我 我们之间的关系搞成这样And I'm so sorry I let things get the way they did between us.
1647 01:29:42 我知道我还有很多要改 但我想让你知道I know I have a lot of work to do
1648 01:29:46 我不会让我的情绪问题影响孩子们了I'm not gonna spread my anger onto these kids
1649 01:29:48 你也不需要再面对这些了and you're not gonna have to deal with it anymore.
1650 01:29:53 我会去找人看看的 好吗?I'm going to get help
1651 01:29:57 我要找个专业人士I'm seeking help from a professional.
1652 01:30:00 你是在一个脱衣舞俱乐部想通的吗?And you came to this realization at a strip club?
1653 01:30:06 对Yeah.
1654 01:30:08 是的Yes
1655 01:30:12 也许这是我 需要看心理医生的另一个原因Probably another reason I need to go to therapy.
1656 01:30:25 我约了周二开始 希望能有用For what it's worth
1657 01:30:32 你很幸运 我们的宝宝都那么可爱You're really lucky we make beautiful babies.
1658 01:30:37 是的 我能看看她吗?Yeah. Can I see her?
1659 01:30:39 - 可以 - 好的- Yeah. - Okay.
1660 01:30:43 - 这是你的爸爸 - 你好呀 小公主- Meet your daddy. - Hey
1661 01:30:50 我需要把纸巾拿到你那边吗?Am I gonna have to move the Kleenex to your side of the bed?
1662 01:30:53 应该是吧Yeah
1663 01:30:57 看看那双眼睛Look at those eyes.
1664 01:31:04 嘿 我的天Hey. Oh my God.
1665 01:31:08 她真漂亮 看啊She's beautiful. Look at you.
1666 01:31:11 我们给她取个什么名字呢?What are we gonna call her?
1667 01:31:12 - 我在想... - 你的婚戒哪儿去了?- I was thinking-- - Where's your fucking ring?
1668 01:31:15 哦对 可能在我肠子里的某个地方吧Oh yeah. It's probably somewhere
1669 01:31:19 你的婚戒在你的身体里?Your wedding ring is inside your body right now?
1670 01:31:21 - 是金属的 会拉出来的 - 对- It's metal. It'll pass. - Yeah.
1671 01:31:23 搞什么啊 康纳?What the fuck
1672 01:31:25 好了 请去外面说吧Okay
1673 01:31:29 不是产妇的直系亲属请出去吧In fact
1674 01:31:34 来吧Here we go.
1675 01:31:37 宝宝很可爱You guys made a beautiful baby.
1676 01:31:39 谢谢你 迈克Thank you
1677 01:31:40 所以...So...
1678 01:31:43 关于你们的这次旅行 你有什么要告诉我的吗?Is there anything you wanna tell me about your little trip?
1679 01:31:48 没有 都挺好的Nope. I'm good.
1680 01:31:52 没有大家伙迈克了No more Hella Mike.
1681 01:31:55 谁是大家伙迈克?Who's Hella Mike?
1682 01:31:57 我其实并不知道I don't really know.
1683 01:32:00 但我知道在过去的17小时里 他做了一些人生选择But I do know that he made some decisions over the last 17 hours
1684 01:32:04 我并不喜欢那些选择带来的结果and I don't like how things turned out.
1685 01:32:07 但你只要知道我爱你 还有...But just know that I love you and...
1686 01:32:10 你知道的 新闻里全是疯狂的事情I mean
1687 01:32:15 我不是在说醉话 我就是...And it's not just the booze talking
1688 01:32:24 布兰妮 你愿意给我这份荣幸 成为我的新娘吗?Britney
1689 01:32:30 迈克尔·贾希姆·理查兹Michael Jahim Richards.
1690 01:32:33 我不要在医院里回答这个问题!I am not answering that question in the middle of a hospital!
1691 01:32:37 - 是我不对 - 起来!天啊 快起来!- My bad. - Get up! Jesus!
1692 01:32:40 去洗个澡 买个戒指 表现一些诚意啊!Get up! Come on! Take a shower! Buy a ring! Show some effort!
1693 01:32:43 至少带我去一个稍微像样点的餐厅吧At least take me to Tony Roma's or something.
1694 01:32:47 茹丝葵牛排馆怎么样?How about Ruth's Chris?
1695 01:32:51 我确实喜欢茹丝葵I mean
1696 01:32:59 - 我真是受够了你的那些该死的借口 - 这不是借口 卡拉- I'm just so sick of your fucking excuses. - What? It's not an excuse
1697 01:33:02 我是真的很痛苦 但你不会理解的I'm in actual fucking pain
1698 01:33:06 因为你用你那冷血动物一般的 冷酷思维全部隔绝了because you block it out with your cold
1699 01:33:12 你觉得我很冷酷?You think I'm cold?
1700 01:33:14 宝贝 当你张开双腿Babe
1701 01:33:16 我真的能听见东德国歌响起来了I can actually hear the East German National Anthem.
1702 01:33:21 终于有一点情绪了!Finally
1703 01:33:26 你是想说你要跟我分开吗?Are you trying to tell me you don't wanna be with me anymore?
1704 01:33:30 不是的 宝贝No. No
1705 01:33:32 我只是想告诉你 我不想再这么生活下去了I'm just telling you that I don't wanna live my life this way anymore.
1706 01:33:36 我不想再害怕你I would like to be less afraid of you.
1707 01:33:40 不想生活中的每一分钟都是计划好的You know
1708 01:33:44 我想能够偶尔吃一些碳水化合物I would also like to eat carbohydrates every once in a while.
1709 01:33:47 说到这个And speakin' of
1710 01:33:49 偶尔给我口一个能杀了你吗?would an occasional blow job fuckin' kill you?
1711 01:33:52 说得在理No cap.
1712 01:33:59 你看到了吗?Did you fuckin' see that?
1713 01:34:02 说得在理!就是说...No cap! No cap! That means...
1714 01:34:04 就是说我说的都对!that means that's true!
1715 01:34:05 好了 康纳Okay. Okay
1716 01:34:07 说得在理!- No cap! No cap!
1717 01:34:10 说明一下 是说你说的“都是真的”For the record
1718 01:34:12 我就是这个意思!That's what I meant! That's what I meant!
1719 01:34:17 哦 真爽Oh fuck.
1720 01:34:22 这是我每一天当中 最好的时刻 依然是这样This is the best part of my day
1721 01:34:26 还更好了呢And things are better now.
1722 01:34:28 我们把奈特送去了当地的公立学校We sent Nate to the local public school
1723 01:34:30 在外战老兵协会办了一个超棒的派对 给学校募集了很多钱and threw a ripper down at the VFW that raised a shitload of money for it.
1724 01:34:35 我知道有些项目比不上私立学校I'm sure some of the programs aren't at the private school level
1725 01:34:38 但他们还玩橄榄球 而且but they still play tackle football
1726 01:34:41 你什么时候去接孩子都没问题and you can pick your kids up whenever the fuck you get there.
1727 01:34:44 我们没有去和路易博士聊那两个小时We never did get our two hours with Doctor Lois.
1728 01:34:47 后来 我们发现 她挪用了我们给学校筹的钱Turns out she was embezzling all that money we raised for the school
1729 01:34:50 用来还她自己的债to keep her creditors at bay.
1730 01:34:52 不过归根结底 她是个白人女性But at the end of the day
1731 01:34:54 所以不会坐牢的so she's not going to jail.
1732 01:34:56 她可能还会出书呢She'll probably get a book deal.
1733 01:34:58 与此同时 那个疯癫的艾德·卡梅隆终于想通了Meanwhile
1734 01:35:02 他出柜了He came out of the closet
1735 01:35:03 最后还跟《犹大祭司》里 那个可爱的老头结婚了and ended up marrying the cute old guy from Judas Priest.
1736 01:35:07 迈克起诉了三连胜的老板 告他们年龄歧视Mike sued the owners of Trifecta for age discrimination
1737 01:35:10 我们拿回了一些股权and we got some of our equity back.
1738 01:35:13 康纳花光了积蓄去做了颈部提拉Connor blew his share on a neck lift.
1739 01:35:15 很好!Nice!
1740 01:35:16 生活里一切都挺好 我也一直在看心理医生 在努力着Life is good. And I've been in therapy
1741 01:35:21 莉亚说她看到了显著的变化Leah says she's seen a noticeable change.
1742 01:35:23 我不会像以前那样那么容易被激怒了I don't let things get to me the way they used to.
1743 01:35:26 不好意思 先生Excuse me. Sir.
1744 01:35:28 你真的觉得这样很明智吗?You really think that's smart?
1745 01:35:30 胸前拴着一个婴儿 还在那里扔球?Throwin' a ball around like that with a baby strapped to your chest?
1746 01:35:39 我还真没想到You know what? I didn't even think of that.
1747 01:35:41 谢谢你告诉我 感谢Thank you for that information. I appreciate it.
1748 01:35:44 不客气Yeah
1749 01:35:48 祝你今天愉快Have a nice day.
1750 01:35:52 大混蛋一个Fuckin' asshole.
1751 01:36:01 ♪ I think I'm sophisticated... ♪Fuckin' asshole.
1752 01:36:03 来吧 小伙计 好球Come on
1753 01:36:09 天啊 你还好吗 伙计?Holy shit. You all right
1754 01:36:15 走走就好了Just walk it off.
1755 01:36:22 ♪ I think I'm sophisticated ♪Just walk it off.
1756 01:36:23 ♪ 'Cause I'm living my life Like a good homosapien... ♪Just walk it off.
1757 01:36:26 好了 我们试一下一次来十个All right
1758 01:36:29 很疯狂 是吧?That was crazy
1759 01:36:30 ♪ Everybody's multiplying ♪That was crazy
1760 01:36:31 ♪ And they're walking round Like fliesThat was crazy
1761 01:36:36 好球!你来吧Nice throw! Nice throw! There you go.
1762 01:36:38 ♪ Sitting in their cages In the zooNice throw! Nice throw! There you go.
1763 01:36:40 又一个好球 来了Another nice throw. Right here.
1764 01:36:43 球传到一垒!Gets the ball over to first base!
1765 01:36:45 ♪ I am an apeman ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1766 01:36:47 ♪ I think I'm so educated And I'm so civilized ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1767 01:36:50 ♪ 'Cause I'm a strict vegetarian ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1768 01:36:54 ♪ But with the over-population And inflation and starvation ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1769 01:36:57 ♪ And the crazy politicians ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1770 01:37:00 ♪ I don't feel safe in this world No more ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1771 01:37:03 ♪ I don't want to die in a nuclear war ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1772 01:37:07 ♪ I want to sail away to a distant shore ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1773 01:37:10 ♪ And make like an apeman ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1774 01:37:13 ♪ I'm an apemanGets the ball over to first base!
1775 01:37:19 ♪ I'm a King Kong manGets the ball over to first base!
1776 01:37:22 ♪ NoGets the ball over to first base!
1777 01:37:26 ♪ 'Cause compared to the sun That sits in the sky ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1778 01:37:29 ♪ Compared to the clouds as they roll by ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1779 01:37:32 ♪ Compared to the bugs And the spiders and flies ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1780 01:37:36 ♪ I am an apeman ♪Gets the ball over to first base!
1781 01:37:47 天啊Oh
1782 01:37:50 老爹们Oh