腓尼基计划 The Phoenician Scheme(2025)(EN)Subtitles
| SRT Subtitles download |
1 00:01:58 CONTROLLER [over radio]: Charlie-Oboe-Seven-Sugar.
2 00:02:00 Distress call acknowledged. Divert to new coordinates.
3 00:02:02 - Negative! Negative! - Heading two-three-zero.
4 00:02:03 - Vector two-three-zero. - Negative!
5 00:02:04 - Ascend three-zero-zero. - Unable!
6 00:02:06 Stay on course.
7 00:02:08 We're only losing altitude at 50 feet per second.
8 00:02:09 Let's clear that ridge, then reassess.
9 00:02:11 There might be a more survivable crash site.
10 00:02:13 More survivable crash site?
11 00:02:18 I told you! I warned you!
12 00:02:21 Wet tarmac! Short runway! 25-knot crosswind! Lightning!
13 00:02:24 You disallowed me to complete a proper safety check
14 00:02:26 despite credible threats of sabotage.
15 00:02:28 You forced me to take off and needled me and teased me
16 00:02:30 and bullied me, but I managed to get us airborne anyway.
17 00:02:32 And now, needless to say, we've been blown up by somebody
18 00:02:35 trying to assassinate you again, and we're gonna crash after all!
19 00:02:38 If we survive, I'm reporting you
20 00:02:40 to the Trans-European Aviation Authority.
21 00:02:43 - You're fired. - What's that?
22 00:02:44 - What'd you say? - You're fired.
23 00:02:45 I'm fired? In the middle of
24 00:02:47 emergency forced landing procedure...
25 00:02:50 Mayday, mayday, mayday. Charlie-Oboe-Seven-Sugar.
26 00:02:52 Request for immediate clearance.
27 00:02:54 I've got a cornfield and a, uh, looks like a soybean field.
28 00:02:57 Which is gonna be softer?
29 00:02:59 Inconclusive.
30 00:03:01 Never mind. I'll be in the cornfield.
31 00:03:15 At this moment, rescue workers
32 00:03:16 are laboring to extinguish the fiery wreckage
33 00:03:19 of an ill-fated dual-engine aircraft,
34 00:03:21 in a perhaps futile attempt to recover and identify
35 00:03:24 the remains of Anatole "Zsa-zsa" Korda,
36 00:03:27 international businessman,
37 00:03:29 maverick in the fields of armaments and aviation,
38 00:03:32 among the richest men in Europe.
39 00:03:35 This was Korda's sixth recorded airplane crash.
40 00:03:38 Dogged for years by accusations of profiteering,
41 00:03:40 - tax evasion, price-fixing, bribery,
42 00:03:43 Korda specialized in the mediation of
43 00:03:45 clandestine trade agreements.
44 00:03:47 His moniker in financial circles: Mr. 5%.
45 00:03:50 He is survived by
46 00:03:52 ten children-- nine boys, one novitiate nun,
47 00:03:55 his daughter Liesl--
48 00:03:56 and is predeceased by three wives.
49 00:03:58 A controversial figure, some will mourn his death,
50 00:04:02 others, inevitably, will celebrate.
51 00:04:15 Who was this man?
52 00:04:17 How do we recognize him?
53 00:04:19 Does he have even an identity?
54 00:04:22 Let us consider his life and deeds.
55 00:04:26 Born to an unscrupulous...
56 00:04:27 Grandmother.
57 00:04:31 Why are we here?
58 00:04:37 I don't know you.
59 00:04:39 ...in a cold house
60 00:04:42 and brought that cold life...
61 00:05:15 Captain, what exactly would Mr. Korda
62 00:05:17 have experienced during those final seconds of his life,
63 00:05:20 before he was incinerated,
64 00:05:22 while you rocketed through space strapped to a chair?
65 00:05:24 Surely a horrific display of...
66 00:05:27 Actually, no. He's still alive.
67 00:05:28 Mr. Korda. Sir.
68 00:05:29 - Wow. - I'm fine.
69 00:05:31 What's that in your hand?
70 00:05:32 I don't know. I think it's a vestigial organ.
71 00:05:35 I tried to get it back in.
72 00:05:37 It's not as easy as it looks.
73 00:08:53 The chair recognizes the bureaucrat from Baltimore.
74 00:08:56 Thank you.
75 00:08:57 Zsa-zsa Korda,
76 00:08:59 our single common enemy who works consistently
77 00:09:02 and relentlessly against the interests
78 00:09:04 of all our competing nations.
79 00:09:05 The one item only on our agenda which unites us.
80 00:09:10 He swindles our banks.
81 00:09:12 He dodges our tariffs.
82 00:09:13 He ties up our courtrooms in tactical lawsuits.
83 00:09:17 He provokes war as well as peace,
84 00:09:18 in direct conflict with our shared diplomatic agenda.
85 00:09:22 Subject's new venture relies heavily
86 00:09:23 on personal capital and wildly overreaches liquid resources.
87 00:09:27 Our objective, with your approval:
88 00:09:30 disrupting, obstructing, impeding,
89 00:09:32 crippling Korda's enterprise in any manner possible,
90 00:09:35 with option to cancel in event of subject's sudden
91 00:09:37 and probable death.
92 00:09:39 - All in favor? - Aye!
93 00:10:00 Your bag, Miss Liesl.
94 00:10:02 - I'll put it in the cupboard. - I wish to retain it.
95 00:10:03 Yes. No, no, I'm keeping it.
96 00:10:04 I understand.
97 00:10:06 Be seated.
98 00:10:31 ZSA-ZSA: Liesl. I expect you received news of my death.
99 00:10:34 The reports were inaccurate, needless to say.
100 00:10:36 Let me get directly to the point.
101 00:10:42 I've appointed you sole heir to my estate,
102 00:10:44 which you may come into sooner rather than later,
103 00:10:46 and provisionally manager of my affairs
104 00:10:48 after the event of my actual demise, on a trial basis.
105 00:10:54 - Why? - Why what?
106 00:10:56 Why sooner rather than later, since you survived again?
107 00:10:58 And why am I sole heir to your estate?
108 00:11:00 You have eight sons at last count.
109 00:11:01 - Nine sons. - Nine sons. What about them?
110 00:11:03 - They're not my heirs. - Why not?
111 00:11:05 - I have my reasons. - Which are what?
112 00:11:07 My reasons? I'm not saying.
113 00:11:12 I'm saying I'm not saying.
114 00:11:18 It's been six years since our last meeting.
115 00:11:21 I apologize.
116 00:11:23 I apologize.
117 00:11:27 I forgive you.
118 00:11:28 Are you dying?
119 00:11:30 Thank you. No.
120 00:11:32 But I keep getting assassinated, unsuccessfully so far,
121 00:11:35 and I can't allow my enemies to benefit from killing me.
122 00:11:37 That's the top priority in my life at this time.
123 00:11:40 If they get me, you get them, provisionally.
124 00:11:45 Like an audition.
125 00:11:46 Like a trial period.
126 00:11:47 Of being your daughter.
127 00:11:49 Of being sole heir to my estate and manager of my affairs
128 00:11:52 after the event of my actual demise.
129 00:11:54 The personal family aspect, I agree,
130 00:11:57 that merits further discussion, but for now,
131 00:11:59 there's much to explain, and it's all in these shoeboxes.
132 00:12:04 Korda Land and Sea Phoenician Infrastructure Scheme.
133 00:12:07 My most important project of my lifetime.
134 00:12:10 30 years' work.
135 00:12:12 May I move? Over there.
136 00:12:16 ZSA-ZSA: Over where?
137 00:12:18 Over there? Why?
138 00:12:23 They say you murdered my mother.
139 00:12:26 What? -They say you murdered my mother.
140 00:12:29 Who said that? Who said that?
141 00:12:31 "They." It's what they say.
142 00:12:33 I feel the need to address it.
143 00:12:34 It's why I agreed to come here today.
144 00:12:36 ZSA-ZSA: They say that? Well, it's a--
145 00:12:38 Forgive me.
146 00:12:40 I know you're pious.
147 00:12:42 It's a goddamn lie.
148 00:12:43 I never murdered anybody's mother in my life.
149 00:12:48 Okay. I have no choice but to take you at your word.
150 00:12:50 I never personally murdered anybody at all, ever!
151 00:12:54 You arranged murders perhaps.
152 00:12:56 Don't put words in my mouth.
153 00:12:58 Of course I didn't and don't.
154 00:13:00 I've employed violent men to do violence on occasion
155 00:13:03 in the distant past.
156 00:13:05 I take no relish in it.
157 00:13:07 They say you murdered all your wives.
158 00:13:10 I'm gonna sue them for libel in that case, whoever "they" are!
159 00:13:18 If you can provide me with their identities.
160 00:13:21 In fact, I was very fond of your mother
161 00:13:23 and never would've murdered her
162 00:13:24 under any circumstances whatsoever.
163 00:13:28 I didn't know her that well.
164 00:13:29 I thought you came here because I summoned you.
165 00:13:36 My plan is to be a nun.
166 00:13:38 Not anymore, right?
167 00:13:42 Your brothers are there.
168 00:13:45 Jasper, David, Phillip, Michael, Harry,
169 00:13:47 Jamie, Samuel, Steven, Thomas.
170 00:13:49 Hello, boys.
171 00:13:50 Will they be joining us for luncheon?
172 00:13:52 ZSA-ZSA: Of course not.
173 00:13:53 They live in a dormitory across the street.
174 00:13:55 I don't know, I don't know what they're doing here.
175 00:13:56 Is today a Saturday? That might explain it.
176 00:14:00 I bought Jasper a crossbow.
177 00:14:02 Be careful of your eyes. He's a very good shot.
178 00:14:06 You understand this changes your life.
179 00:14:18 Listen carefully.
180 00:14:24 This shoebox contains my idea
181 00:14:26 for the dam we're going to build.
182 00:14:28 This shoebox contains my idea
183 00:14:30 for the canal we're in the middle of digging.
184 00:14:32 This shoebox contains my idea
185 00:14:33 for the tunnel we already finished drilling.
186 00:14:37 I think he sharpens them.
187 00:14:38 It's supposed to have a suction cup.
188 00:14:43 This shirt box contains my plan to assemble
189 00:14:45 the massive workforce required for the project.
190 00:14:47 In short, we're gonna need slave labor,
191 00:14:49 but that's available to us.
192 00:14:50 This hatbox contains my negotiations
193 00:14:53 with barons in shipping, mining and railroads.
194 00:14:55 These littler sock boxes contain
195 00:14:57 my agreements with titans in banking, real estate
196 00:14:59 and black market syndicates.
197 00:15:07 Excuse me.
198 00:15:24 BJORN [Norwegian accent]: Hello.
199 00:15:29 Yes.
200 00:15:32 ZSA-ZSA: You're not my heirs!
201 00:15:39 Who the deuce is that? He's been eavesdropping on us.
202 00:15:42 I'm the new tutor.
203 00:15:44 Ah, of course.
204 00:15:46 Welcome.
205 00:15:48 Bring me the polygraph.
206 00:15:51 I always keep a tutor on staff to give lessons
207 00:15:52 during intervals of my free time.
208 00:15:54 He's gonna teach us about insects and related subjects.
209 00:15:57 He's an expert in that field.
210 00:15:59 We'll be with you shortly.
211 00:16:00 This is my daughter Liesl.
212 00:16:02 This is Professor...?
213 00:16:03 Bjorn.
214 00:16:05 Professor Bjorn.
215 00:16:08 Watch out!
216 00:16:15 In summation, the boxes on this carpet all together present
217 00:16:19 a blueprint to set the wheels of commerce in motion
218 00:16:22 throughout a potentially rich, now dormant region.
219 00:16:24 Then to retain an appropriate but extremely valuable
220 00:16:28 five percent of the revenues for the next 150 years.
221 00:16:42 This is just...
222 00:16:44 crazy.
223 00:16:46 Yes, I admit.
224 00:16:47 If it works, it's a miracle.
225 00:16:50 But it's going to.
226 00:16:52 What's in the glove box?
227 00:16:57 That's the gap.
228 00:16:59 We'll discuss that later.
229 00:17:04 You still didn't sign it.
230 00:17:06 I told you, I take my vows at the end of the month.
231 00:17:07 I told you, unfortunately, no.
232 00:17:09 The church could claim a lien on our family business.
233 00:17:12 You can still believe in God if you wish.
234 00:17:15 - The pigeons are there. - Not for me.
235 00:17:17 I take only a few crusts of bread in the daytime.
236 00:17:19 - ZSA-ZSA: How about you? - Hmm? Me?
237 00:17:22 I could eat a horse and easily a pigeon.
238 00:17:25 ZSA-ZSA: You're invited to lunch in that case.
239 00:17:26 Oh, thank you, sir.
240 00:17:27 ZSA-ZSA: Point your finger.
241 00:17:33 - Full name? - Bjorn Lund.
242 00:17:34 - Place of birth? - Oslo.
243 00:17:35 - Are you wearing a bow tie? - Yes.
244 00:17:37 Are you now or have you ever been employed
245 00:17:39 in the conduct of industrial espionage? -No, no, no.
246 00:17:41 Or engaged as a professional contract assassin-for-hire?
247 00:17:44 Goodness, no.
248 00:17:50 Give him the overcooked one.
249 00:17:54 Your bread crusts, Miss Liesl.
250 00:17:56 Peace be with you, Reverend Mother.
251 00:17:58 I write with perplexing tidings.
252 00:18:00 See what I mean? Poisoned.
253 00:18:02 - Oh, it's poisoned. - Why did it turn black?
254 00:18:04 My father has appointed me
255 00:18:06 provisional successor and prospective beneficiary
256 00:18:07 of his vast fortune, gained entirely, as you know,
257 00:18:10 through unholy mischief.
258 00:18:11 How will your slaves be compensated?
259 00:18:14 I believe they will receive a small stipend.
260 00:18:16 It's really up to the king.
261 00:18:17 We can't interfere on that level.
262 00:18:19 God may have something to say about that.
263 00:18:21 Is he against slavery in the Bible?
264 00:18:22 I'm against it.
265 00:18:24 What worth is the pledge of a swindling rogue?
266 00:18:27 There's a terrible famine in this region.
267 00:18:29 - This shoebox, I mean. - I know. That's us.
268 00:18:31 This friendless man bewilders me.
269 00:18:33 - In what sense that's you? - We-we did that.
270 00:18:35 Normally, there'd just be the normal level of poverty there,
271 00:18:38 but presently we control the grain.
272 00:18:39 Now we make our move,
273 00:18:41 and we supply provisions on our own terms.
274 00:18:42 My word. Is that ethical?
275 00:18:44 It's damnable. To hell.
276 00:18:46 Nevertheless, I foresee an opportunity
277 00:18:48 to accomplish, by the grace of God...
278 00:18:52 ...significant good works with the enormous resources
279 00:18:54 he proposes to place at my disposal.
280 00:18:56 Memorize this combination.
281 00:18:58 I can't tell you where the safe is.
282 00:19:00 That'll be in my will.
283 00:19:01 Perhaps this could be even his deeper intention.
284 00:19:06 Where does it come from?
285 00:19:08 Mexico.
286 00:19:08 Not the cactus.
287 00:19:10 I mean this ruthless brutality.
288 00:19:12 You don't know me.
289 00:19:13 The boys live across the street.
290 00:19:15 There's no love in this house, as far as I can observe.
291 00:19:17 God is absent. Why?
292 00:19:20 I remain profoundly reluctant to leave the order
293 00:19:22 and long for the hour of my return to sanctuary.
294 00:19:24 ZSA-ZSA: I think it's not my fault.
295 00:19:26 It's a self-fulfilling prophecy which starts in the nursery.
296 00:19:29 No one cared about or for me except my nanny,
297 00:19:32 and she was dismissed and put to shame.
298 00:19:33 - What for? - She overstepped her position.
299 00:19:36 It had to be done.
300 00:19:38 Also, his poor boys, my brothers,
301 00:19:40 thirst and hunger for sisterly affection.
302 00:19:42 The wings have a scent which gets on your fingers
303 00:19:44 if you catch them.
304 00:19:45 Some smell like lemons.
305 00:19:47 Some smell like chocolate. Some smell like urine.
306 00:19:50 Are you interested in butterflies?
307 00:19:53 Is that a real question?
308 00:19:55 Is this an act?
309 00:19:57 I'm interested in the welfare of all living creatures.
310 00:19:59 Very good. Very good.
311 00:20:04 What advice can you afford
312 00:20:05 your humble servant, me?
313 00:20:07 She was murdered, by the way.
314 00:20:10 Not a suicide, the official ruling.
315 00:20:11 I think I know who did it,
316 00:20:14 but I've tried to stay out of it, frankly.
317 00:20:18 The son of my father.
318 00:20:19 He's the murderer, I suspect.
319 00:20:22 The son of your father?
320 00:20:24 In other words, your brother.
321 00:20:25 - Half brother. - Uncle Nubar?
322 00:20:27 - He's my mother's murderer? - I suspect.
323 00:20:29 We always hated each other, of course,
324 00:20:32 but we do conduct business together
325 00:20:34 through an intermediary, because he's very clever.
326 00:20:36 - "Thou shalt not kill." - I agree.
327 00:20:38 We must bring that man to justice,
328 00:20:40 if what you say is true.
329 00:20:43 Broadcloth.
330 00:20:45 Wake up my notary.
331 00:20:46 Yes, sir.
332 00:20:49 ZSA-ZSA: Sign the paper in front of you...
333 00:20:53 ...and I swear my word of solemnest honor,
334 00:20:55 we shall bring ferocious revenge down upon
335 00:20:57 this cold-blooded butcher, your Uncle Nubar.
336 00:21:00 Meaning get him arrested?
337 00:21:03 I think so.
338 00:21:05 He is one of our principal partners, of course.
339 00:21:07 I'll pray on the matter.
340 00:21:08 Heavenly Father, please grant me
341 00:21:10 with some guidance for this difficult decision.
342 00:21:11 Amen.
343 00:21:13 God has called me here for a purpose. -
344 00:21:16 No slaves. No famine. No dormitory.
345 00:21:19 You're on a trial period.
346 00:21:27 We've annulled your sacred covenant, Miss Liesl.
347 00:21:29 A secular rosary will arrive from the jeweler
348 00:21:31 later this afternoon.
349 00:21:32 I hope you'll find it to your liking.
350 00:21:35 P.S. How is your rheumatism?
351 00:21:39 I pray for your health and comfort.
352 00:21:46 Jasper.
353 00:21:48 Bless us and these, thy holy gifts,
354 00:21:49 which we are about to receive.
355 00:21:51 - We pray for the poor... - What's this about?
356 00:21:52 Don't make them be religious.
357 00:21:54 I already did. We're reading Genesis.
358 00:21:56 ...before thee in thy name. Amen. -Amen.
359 00:21:58 Why would anybody do something I didn't tell them to do?
360 00:22:01 Does this soup come from our usual kitchen?
361 00:22:04 I feel it tastes better.
362 00:22:06 It does taste better.
363 00:22:08 I have a French cook. You have a Belgian cook.
364 00:22:14 Yes.
365 00:22:17 What? What, what?
366 00:22:20 - What are you afraid of? - Don't worry.
367 00:22:21 They eat only worms and crickets
368 00:22:24 and sometimes their own mates.
369 00:22:26 Are you men or mice?
370 00:22:28 You should be lions!
371 00:22:32 No bugs at the table.
372 00:22:34 I am sorry.
373 00:22:35 Of course.
374 00:22:36 Yes, sir?
375 00:22:38 The snails are good.
376 00:22:40 Thank you, sir.
377 00:22:41 They're good.
378 00:22:43 Also, he likes your soup.
379 00:22:48 Did you eat dinner with your father
380 00:22:50 when you were a little boy?
381 00:22:53 No.
382 00:22:54 A new rule.
383 00:22:55 From this day forward, you're allowed a maximum
384 00:22:57 of two authorized friends, each of you.
385 00:22:59 And we're gonna make a list.
386 00:23:01 Nobody not on that list will be permitted
387 00:23:03 to enter these premises at any time.
388 00:23:04 Also, a new motto:
389 00:23:07 "Break but don't bend."
390 00:23:15 I didn't know you live in a slum.
391 00:23:20 Fix the leak.
392 00:23:25 Never buy good pictures.
393 00:23:27 Buy masterpieces.
394 00:23:30 Why do you adopt children into this madness?
395 00:23:34 I play the odds.
396 00:23:36 Of course I have my boys,
397 00:23:37 but the adopted ones might turn out to be better.
398 00:23:40 This fella could be smarter than Einstein, for all we know.
399 00:23:45 This is a bashable rivet,
400 00:23:47 perhaps the most effective device of mechanical hardware
401 00:23:50 ever conceived for the purpose of permanently coupling
402 00:23:52 two beams, rods, posts or pillars.
403 00:23:54 It's the foundation of modern civil engineering,
404 00:23:57 though its usage, of course, dates from the Bronze Age.
405 00:23:59 Regular price: ten for a nickel.
406 00:24:45 ZSA-ZSA: Wake up. The new plane is on the tarmac.
407 00:24:47 - We're leaving in ten minutes. - What?
408 00:24:48 - Wake up. - Wait.
409 00:24:50 Wh-Why? Where are we going?
410 00:24:51 - I'll tell you in the air. - Tell me now.
411 00:24:54 I'll tell you in the car.
412 00:24:55 - Tell me now. - Obey me.
413 00:24:56 I'm going back to sleep.
414 00:24:57 It's sabotage! Look.
415 00:24:59 Over the past 50 years, the market value of bashable rivets
416 00:25:02 has risen calmly, measuredly from three and a quarter
417 00:25:05 to 27 and a half Yankee dollars per keg-barrel.
418 00:25:08 Last night, rivets rocketed to 900.
419 00:25:11 - What does that mean? For us? - It means the gap explodes.
420 00:25:13 There's a run on bolts, spikes and pulverized gravel, too.
421 00:25:16 All category of construction materials
422 00:25:18 across the entire western Near East.
423 00:25:20 My enemies are manipulating the markets we manipulated.
424 00:25:22 Who's that?
425 00:25:24 ZSA-ZSA: Arsonists. I hired them to burn the house down,
426 00:25:26 if necessary, for insurance purposes.
427 00:25:28 They're just doing an assessment right now.
428 00:25:30 That's not my suitcase.
429 00:25:32 I got you a new one.
430 00:25:34 The other one wouldn't be suitable for this voyage.
431 00:25:36 It looks like a picnic basket.
432 00:25:37 Today, tonight and tomorrow, we rendezvous with every titan
433 00:25:40 in every shoebox and pretend we agree what we already agreed,
434 00:25:43 but, in fact, we don't. We can't.
435 00:25:45 Somebody's got to cover the gap.
436 00:25:46 How much is the gap?
437 00:25:47 The gap? The gap is not like that.
438 00:25:49 Yes, it's partly a deficit in funding
439 00:25:51 against our total projected revenues,
440 00:25:52 but more precariously, it's a missing slice of a pie
441 00:25:55 that was baked too big for the pan.
442 00:25:57 I mean the amount.
443 00:26:00 Everything we got.
444 00:26:01 Our entire fortune plus a little bit more.
445 00:26:05 Wake up the tutor.
446 00:26:14 Initial countermeasures rendered
447 00:26:15 highly effective results, as you can see.
448 00:26:17 Subject now engaged in desperate campaign
449 00:26:20 of clandestine site visits.
450 00:26:23 Crisscrossing region to confront each principal partner
451 00:26:26 in effort to re-renegotiate terms of charter agreement
452 00:26:28 and salvage enterprise
453 00:26:30 before official signature signing ceremony end of month.
454 00:26:33 Also, newly obtained medical report indicates subject may be
455 00:26:36 suffering trauma from blunt force head injury.
456 00:26:40 Are those screws or bolts?
457 00:26:41 Possibly both.
458 00:26:42 Likely accumulated over several incidents.
459 00:26:54 What's in the fruit crate?
460 00:26:56 Leave that alone. It's fragile.
461 00:26:58 - What is it? - That?
462 00:26:59 It's fragile. Leave the fruit crate alone.
463 00:27:01 - But what is it? - Just...
464 00:27:03 It's hand grenades. Are you satisfied?
465 00:27:06 Can you accept now to be careful around it?
466 00:27:08 Why are we traveling with a boxful of hand grenades?
467 00:27:10 I have extras-- a large number of them.
468 00:27:13 For me, at this time,
469 00:27:14 a hand grenade is cheaper than a bullet.
470 00:27:18 Do you use them?
471 00:27:21 That's not really the point.
472 00:27:26 Point your finger.
473 00:27:31 You'll be acting as my administrative secretary
474 00:27:34 for the time being.
475 00:27:35 The last one got blown in two, as you know. -Oh, marvelous.
476 00:27:38 That rucksack, which you're responsible for, contains
477 00:27:40 all the liquid currency to my name at this moment.
478 00:27:42 Keep it on your person at all times and don't lose it.
479 00:27:45 I'll do my best. Great Scott!
480 00:27:47 Look at this one.
481 00:27:48 Isn't it remarkable how he's able
482 00:27:50 to hang on at this airspeed?
483 00:27:51 How does he hang on at this airspeed?
484 00:27:53 Shall we do a lesson now or should I talk to you?
485 00:27:55 I expect you know about tarsal segments:
486 00:27:57 the tiny hairs with clawlike structures that grip
487 00:28:00 microscopic irregularities on an apparently smooth surface.
488 00:28:03 But the dragonfly is also furnished with little pads...
489 00:28:06 Hold that thought.
490 00:28:07 ...called pulvilli.
491 00:28:12 When was your last confession?
492 00:28:15 - I think I was 14. - Oh, dear.
493 00:28:17 Do you still believe in God?
494 00:28:20 Sadly, no.
495 00:28:21 Are you an atheist?
496 00:28:22 I'm a scientist.
497 00:28:24 You're an atheist.
498 00:28:25 Are you chaste?
499 00:28:27 Not particularly.
500 00:28:28 Is that important?
501 00:28:31 I don't really know.
502 00:28:33 Are you very terribly pure yourself?
503 00:28:37 Obviously. How can you ask me such a thing?
504 00:28:39 Look at me.
505 00:28:40 It wouldn't matter in the least.
506 00:28:42 Even if you were the cheapest girl at the filthiest brothel
507 00:28:45 in the seediest red-light district...
508 00:28:47 - Oh, dear. - ...on this swirling orb,
509 00:28:48 nothing could detract from your loveliness.
510 00:28:55 Thank you.
511 00:28:56 You're welcome. I speak my heart.
512 00:28:58 I'm a bohemian.
513 00:28:59 I thought you were born in Oslo.
514 00:29:02 Not literally bohemian.
515 00:29:03 Actually, I've only been to one brothel.
516 00:29:06 It left me cold.
517 00:29:08 We're starting our descent.
518 00:29:10 Prepare your documents before we deplane
519 00:29:12 so you never delay my schedule.
520 00:29:14 Passports?
521 00:29:24 Where's yours?
522 00:29:27 I don't have a passport.
523 00:29:31 Normal people want the basic human rights
524 00:29:32 that accompany citizenship in any sovereign nation.
525 00:29:35 I don't.
526 00:29:37 My legal residence is a shack in Portugal.
527 00:29:39 My official domicile is a hut on the Black Sea.
528 00:29:42 My certificated abode is a lodge perched on the edge
529 00:29:45 of a cliff overlooking the sub-Saharan rainforest
530 00:29:47 accessible only by goat path.
531 00:29:49 I don't live anywhere.
532 00:29:51 I'm not a citizen at all.
533 00:29:53 I don't need my human rights.
534 00:30:08 What was that?
535 00:30:09 I think nothing.
536 00:30:12 It's the same sound I heard last time
537 00:30:14 before the plane exploded, but this time, it didn't.
538 00:30:17 So, nothing to worry about.
539 00:30:22 Myself, I feel very safe.
540 00:31:00 You have a long journey, don't you?
541 00:31:02 You must find a suitable place to bury it.
542 00:31:04 Yes.
543 00:31:06 I never lost interest in you, by the way.
544 00:31:09 I always followed your progress with great interest.
545 00:31:11 - Followed how? - Bjorn!
546 00:31:13 - Hmm? - Where's the rucksack?
547 00:31:15 In the car.
548 00:31:16 Followed how?
549 00:31:18 Well, I generally kept various operatives observing
550 00:31:21 your activities, your report cards,
551 00:31:23 your medical history, your personal correspondence,
552 00:31:25 et cetera. -You've been spying on me all my entire life?
553 00:31:27 It's not called spying when you're the parent.
554 00:31:29 It's called nurturing.
555 00:31:31 Or at the very least, interest.
556 00:31:38 Here comes the prince.
557 00:31:44 Actually, that's some other fellows.
558 00:31:46 I think assassins.
559 00:31:49 Driver, get the hand grenades.
560 00:31:51 Driver!
561 00:32:03 Ahoy!
562 00:32:08 You armed yourself. Good girl.
563 00:32:10 Oh, no.
564 00:32:11 The assassins shot your driver.
565 00:32:13 I pledge to compensate his family on behalf of the king,
566 00:32:14 who regrets the presence of devilish brigands
567 00:32:16 in the imperial realm.
568 00:32:17 I think I recognize that assassin.
569 00:32:20 He used to work for me, maybe.
570 00:32:23 Who's this?
571 00:32:25 - My daughter Liesl. - How do you do, Your Highness?
572 00:32:27 Oh, she's a bride of Christ. What a pity.
573 00:32:29 You may address me directly.
574 00:32:30 I beg your pardon. You're stunning.
575 00:32:32 Thank you. -They got him right through the pump.
576 00:32:33 - The driver, I mean. - Poor man.
577 00:32:35 - He didn't suffer. - I believe he did suffer.
578 00:32:37 I brought you a humble symbol of the gratitude
579 00:32:39 of my father's people for your heroic endeavors
580 00:32:40 toward the prosperity of our commonwealth.
581 00:32:42 ZSA-ZSA: Another knife.
582 00:32:44 She's got one, too, under the habit. Show him.
583 00:32:46 - Holy moly. - I bought it at the airport.
584 00:32:48 Help yourself to a hand grenade.
585 00:32:50 You're very kind.
586 00:33:01 How confident are we in this tunnel
587 00:33:03 at the current stage of construction?
588 00:33:05 One hundred percent.
589 00:33:06 Don't be alarmed by that tremor.
590 00:33:08 - Miss Liesl... - Would you like to hold my hand?
591 00:33:09 I was going to suggest the same thing.
592 00:33:11 Thank you both.
593 00:33:12 It's a very good tunnel.
594 00:33:14 Myself, I feel very safe.
595 00:33:16 Yes, but you're in the habit of surviving.
596 00:33:17 Stop!
597 00:33:23 I beg your pardon.
598 00:33:29 Right on schedule.
599 00:33:50 This is not the document we agreed to validate.
600 00:33:53 What? Of course it is.
601 00:33:55 You've been fiddling with it!
602 00:33:57 Th-The deal's already in place.
603 00:33:58 This is just a symbolic meeting
604 00:34:00 to connect the unfinished tracks.
605 00:34:01 It's a formality.
606 00:34:02 Not anymore.
607 00:34:03 Oh, help yourself to a hand grenade.
608 00:34:05 Have you been fiddling with it?
609 00:34:08 Barely.
610 00:34:09 - Liar! How dare you?! - What in the hell made you...
611 00:34:10 It's not my fault!
612 00:34:16 ...goddamn liar!
613 00:34:17 Somebody's got to cover the gap.
614 00:34:19 Somebody else.
615 00:34:21 I'll change it back. We concede the point.
616 00:34:22 We're walking away.
617 00:34:24 The resources of our bountiful treasury have been
618 00:34:26 acutely depleted during the drilling of this magnificent...
619 00:34:27 - That's not our problem. - It's his and yours.
620 00:34:30 Goodbye.
621 00:34:34 Halt!
622 00:34:35 Let's resolve it the way we did in Colorado
623 00:34:37 with the dispute over the Fort Junction claim.
624 00:34:39 Two-on-two, first to five.
625 00:34:51 This puts us at a spectacular disadvantage.
626 00:34:53 I've never played the game in my life.
627 00:34:55 I don't even know the regulations.
628 00:34:56 We're the underdog, yes. I still like our chances.
629 00:35:00 Basketball, by the way, it's their greatest strength,
630 00:35:02 but it's their greatest weakness.
631 00:35:04 Two beers, please.
632 00:35:05 Uh, not for me.
633 00:35:07 I've never tasted hard liquor in my life,
634 00:35:08 except communion wine.
635 00:35:10 Uh, communion, this is not hard liquor.
636 00:35:11 Anyway, on a hot day, in a dark tunnel, beer's delicious.
637 00:35:15 You should drink this.
638 00:35:17 Okay. Two beers.
639 00:35:30 - Call it. - Heads.
640 00:35:31 Heads.
641 00:35:51 One-zip.
642 00:35:54 A respectable attempt.
643 00:35:57 Classic backhand layup.
644 00:36:07 - I beg your pardon? - I didn't say anything.
645 00:36:09 Did you hear what Mr. Reagan just spoke to me?
646 00:36:10 When he refers to my mother, he refers to the sovereign queen
647 00:36:13 of a population of ten million loyal subjects.
648 00:36:15 He didn't say anything about the sovereign queen.
649 00:36:17 ZSA-ZSA: Don't listen to that.
650 00:36:18 He's trying to get in your head.
651 00:36:19 Just play your game, Farouk,
652 00:36:21 if I may call you that, Your Highness.
653 00:36:22 I don't know how to play my game.
654 00:36:23 It's utterly foreign to me.
655 00:36:24 - You're good. - I'm not good!
656 00:36:34 Two-zip.
657 00:36:36 Does that count?
658 00:36:38 It doesn't count, but I've never seen it done before.
659 00:36:41 You got to bounce it when you move.
660 00:36:43 That's a rule I should've mentioned.
661 00:36:45 How well do you know him?
662 00:36:47 How well do I know...?
663 00:36:49 Anatole Korda. Zsa-zsa. Your father.
664 00:36:51 Not well. Mostly by reputation.
665 00:36:54 I see.
666 00:36:55 What's your directive, in that case, here?
667 00:36:57 - My directive? - If you have one.
668 00:37:00 I would say, I think, to prove himself to me.
669 00:37:05 Also, the other way around.
670 00:37:06 Am I prying?
671 00:37:07 Are you prying?
672 00:37:08 Maybe. Half and half.
673 00:37:10 Prying and, for selfish reasons,
674 00:37:12 genuinely concerned for your future welfare.
675 00:37:14 Double hop-back jump shot.
676 00:37:15 Hmm.
677 00:37:22 - What's it like? - I wonder.
678 00:37:24 - Plummeting to earth, on fire. - How many times?
679 00:37:26 - Six, so far. - Yikes.
680 00:37:28 - Sportsmanship, gentlemen. - Part of the game.
681 00:37:30 Nothing personal.
682 00:37:32 Get it right this time, you twerp.
683 00:37:40 Could you imagine falling in love with a man like me,
684 00:37:42 by the way, hypothetically?
685 00:37:45 You're drunk. On three beers.
686 00:37:47 I think I mean it as a genuine question.
687 00:37:50 Sisters of the cloth do not engage
688 00:37:51 in romantic behavior of any kind.
689 00:37:53 - Oh, really? - It's a vow.
690 00:37:55 In that case, stop flirting with the prince!
691 00:37:58 Besides, I thought you're not a nun anymore.
692 00:38:00 You're a business lady.
693 00:38:05 Is this an act?
694 00:38:07 You asked me that before!
695 00:38:09 I don't know what you're talking about.
696 00:38:13 Left-handed, blind-man, over-the-shoulder swoop.
697 00:38:20 Yow!
698 00:38:27 That was the worst plane crash I ever survived in my life.
699 00:38:31 I think I died, actually,
700 00:38:33 for about a minute and a half.
701 00:38:36 It's coming back now.
702 00:38:40 - What's going on? - I don't know.
703 00:38:41 Did we give up?
704 00:38:44 Just, Sir Zsa-zsa, as you say, play your game.
705 00:38:48 I'm not really a sportsman.
706 00:38:50 I'm more interested in gardening, for instance.
707 00:38:54 My enemies are everywhere.
708 00:38:56 I'd like my daughter to come to me.
709 00:38:58 She's drinking beer in the dining car
710 00:38:59 with your administrative secretary.
711 00:39:01 Fetch the nun.
712 00:39:03 He's actually a tutor.
713 00:39:05 Insects and related subjects.
714 00:39:06 Sorry for my bad manners.
715 00:39:08 - The beers were too strong. - Hush.
716 00:39:14 I was present at your birth.
717 00:39:16 The midwife was a leathery old hag.
718 00:39:19 I cut the umbilical cord
719 00:39:20 with hedge clippers of my own design.
720 00:39:23 I was very fond of your mother and never would've murdered her
721 00:39:25 under any circumstances whatsoever.
722 00:39:28 How'd you get so religious?
723 00:39:29 My surviving parent sent me to live in a convent at age five.
724 00:39:32 To keep you away from boys.
725 00:39:34 Didn't expect you to get brainwashed.
726 00:39:36 You're the only child I did wish to try to be
727 00:39:38 a proper father to, but it wasn't possible.
728 00:39:44 You're named for my grandmother.
729 00:39:46 She didn't recognize me.
730 00:39:49 Is this typical of him?
731 00:39:50 In my experience? Not at all.
732 00:39:52 Normally, I'd say he's the shrewdest,
733 00:39:53 most resourceful businessman alive.
734 00:39:55 Ha!
735 00:39:56 One last shot.
736 00:39:59 From the end of the train tracks.
737 00:40:02 If Farouk succeeds,
738 00:40:04 the deal proceeds according to the original document
739 00:40:06 before I fiddled with it,
740 00:40:07 but you cover ten percent of the gap,
741 00:40:08 and I swear my word of solemnest honor...
742 00:40:09 - Skip it. - Me?
743 00:40:10 - You. - He misses,
744 00:40:12 there's half a million Swiss francs in that rucksack.
745 00:40:15 It's yours.
746 00:40:16 The rucksack.
747 00:40:23 Okay, Farouk, if I may call you that, Your Highness.
748 00:40:26 Take the shot.
749 00:40:54 Is it acceptable for me to propel the ball in this manner?
750 00:41:04 We knew your mother.
751 00:41:07 One moment.
752 00:41:11 Dear merciful and Heavenly Father,
753 00:41:13 please grant us good luck and fortune in the circumstance
754 00:41:15 of my father's business dealings with the Sacramento...
755 00:41:53 Good husband...
756 00:41:55 ...what tribute is this?
757 00:42:00 Money.
758 00:42:08 She's not your daughter.
759 00:42:23 ZSA-ZSA: You do have my eyes.
760 00:42:25 Do people not tell you that?
761 00:42:27 Nobody ever told me I have anybody's anything.
762 00:42:30 I think I see it.
763 00:42:33 Except yours aren't blue.
764 00:42:35 What's that?
765 00:42:37 I don't know. Go find out.
766 00:42:50 He has my eyes, too.
767 00:42:52 Uncle Nubar.
768 00:42:55 He's not human.
769 00:42:57 He's biblical.
770 00:43:00 What did you pray, specifically,
771 00:43:02 to get Prince Farouk to make that impossible granny shot?
772 00:43:05 Even as an atheist, without God's will,
773 00:43:07 he would've botched it by a mile.
774 00:43:08 It's not witchcraft.
775 00:43:10 The phrasing of it, which I don't recall, doesn't matter.
776 00:43:13 What matters is the sincerity of your devotion.
777 00:43:19 That's it.
778 00:43:20 That's what?
779 00:43:23 - No, that's it. - What?
780 00:43:26 That's it.
781 00:43:28 The pilot says you got a telephone call.
782 00:43:30 - On an airplane. - Who is it?
783 00:43:32 A Mr. Savarin-Montrachet.
784 00:43:34 Marseille Bob.
785 00:43:46 Hello, Robert.
786 00:43:47 Hello, hello.
787 00:43:48 Hello, Robert!
788 00:43:50 Yes, everything's going fine.
789 00:43:52 The tunnel?
790 00:43:53 It's perfect.
791 00:43:55 Yes, the brothers agree to cover the gap.
792 00:43:57 Yes, all of it.
793 00:43:59 Everyone's delighted.
794 00:44:02 See you tonight.
795 00:44:03 Hugs and kisses.
796 00:44:09 Did you just tell Marseille Bob
797 00:44:11 the Sacramento Consortium agreed to cover the gap?
798 00:44:13 - No. - "All of it," you said.
799 00:44:15 I speak French, of course. You're fiddling with it again.
800 00:44:16 Okay, yes, but I'm doing a strategy.
801 00:44:18 Listen carefully.
802 00:44:19 Is this supposed to be here?
803 00:44:21 It was under the lunch trolley.
804 00:44:22 - Oh, dear. - How much time does it say?
805 00:44:25 18 minutes.
806 00:44:28 Perfectly fine. We land in ten.
807 00:44:31 Myself, I feel very safe.
808 00:44:53 One, two, three.
809 00:45:12 MARSEILLE BOB [in French]: The freighter docks
810 00:45:13 at high water.
811 00:45:14 The meeting's at midnight.
812 00:45:15 Should we take two taxis? Two taxis.
813 00:45:18 Uh, I've arranged a light supper, in the meantime.
814 00:45:20 Help yourself to a hand grenade.
815 00:45:21 You're very kind.
816 00:45:22 May I offer you a champagne cocktail?
817 00:45:24 Uh, not for me.
818 00:45:25 I've never tasted hard liquor in my life,
819 00:45:27 except beer and communion wine.
820 00:45:28 That's not hard liquor.
821 00:45:30 It's a delicious concoction with cherries and a sugar cube.
822 00:45:33 Okay. Two champagne cocktails.
823 00:45:36 I knew your mother.
824 00:45:59 - You don't know? - COAT-CHECK GIRL: No.
825 00:46:21 I recognize your handwriting.
826 00:46:25 This is you.
827 00:46:26 Obviously, the Sacramento Consortium
828 00:46:29 refused to cover the gap, and you're trying to secretly
829 00:46:30 blackmail me to salvage the agreement.
830 00:46:33 Actually, I suppose it's extortion.
831 00:46:34 It's so crude. You've been fiddling with it.
832 00:46:37 ZSA-ZSA: That's absurd.
833 00:46:38 It's far-fetched.
834 00:46:39 Where do you get such suspicious ideas?
835 00:46:41 It's very French.
836 00:46:42 How could we know you were gonna receive
837 00:46:44 an anonymous letter in the middle of...
838 00:46:45 Nothing you say will convince me.
839 00:46:47 I'm absolutely, unflinchingly certain
840 00:46:49 you are responsible for this, as you say, anonymous letter.
841 00:46:51 If you deny it again, I'm throwing you out.
842 00:46:55 Is that a threat?!
843 00:46:56 Somebody's got to cover the gap!
844 00:46:57 It's sabotage! The bashable rivets!
845 00:46:59 Not my fault!
846 00:47:00 Somebody's manipulating the markets...
847 00:47:03 Well, anyway, you're wrong about my handwriting.
848 00:47:05 Bjorn redrafted it.
849 00:47:06 Why'd you just do that?
850 00:47:08 You just admitted everything after swearing us
851 00:47:09 to never reveal your deceitfulness,
852 00:47:11 even under pain of torture, for the rest of our lives.
853 00:47:12 You call that a strategy?
854 00:47:14 He doesn't fall for it.
855 00:47:15 They covered ten percent plus Farouk another five.
856 00:47:17 What's become of you?
857 00:47:18 Too many airplane crashes, I think.
858 00:47:21 I'm walking away. One taxi.
859 00:47:23 I'll change it back. We concede the point.
860 00:47:25 - Too late. - No, no.
861 00:47:26 I'll change it back.
862 00:47:28 - We concede the point. - Still too late.
863 00:47:29 No, no, no, no.
864 00:47:32 I'll change it back.
865 00:47:34 We concede the point.
866 00:47:38 What was that?
867 00:47:43 This is a robbery.
868 00:47:45 On behalf of the Jungle Unit
869 00:47:47 of the Intercontinental Radical Freedom Militia Corps.
870 00:47:49 All money, jewels and watches into the bags, please.
871 00:47:52 We're outgunned.
872 00:47:54 Who are they? I don't know these terrorists.
873 00:47:55 Must come from out of town.
874 00:47:58 The proceeds of this seizure will benefit not only
875 00:47:59 the administrative activity of our organization
876 00:48:02 but also orphans and widows,
877 00:48:03 the blind, the sick, the wounded,
878 00:48:04 farmers, teachers and the construction
879 00:48:06 of hygienic wastewater disposal systems.
880 00:48:10 Why is he shooting my ceiling?!
881 00:48:12 Just rob my customers and make your getaway!
882 00:48:14 - Bjorn, get the hand grenades. - No.
883 00:48:17 None of the funds generated by the sale of your property
884 00:48:20 will be squandered.
885 00:48:21 These pamphlets articulate our policies.
886 00:48:24 It's too much.
887 00:48:26 Why are you shooting my ceiling?
888 00:48:29 This is a robbery on behalf of the Jungle Unit of...
889 00:48:31 I know. I understand that. I'm asking about my ceiling.
890 00:48:34 You idiots are destroying a magnificent nightclub.
891 00:48:37 Grab the loot and get out!
892 00:48:39 Let's communicate.
893 00:48:43 He took a bullet for me.
894 00:48:47 - I took a bullet for you. - I'm aware of that.
895 00:48:48 I witnessed the event. Where's the wound?
896 00:48:50 Right here where the blood
897 00:48:51 - is gushing out of me. - Okay.
898 00:48:55 Oh, it's not too bad, actually.
899 00:49:00 I think your diplomatic credentials slowed it down.
900 00:49:03 Excuse us.
901 00:49:04 For that needless violence.
902 00:49:06 Did they shoot you?!
903 00:49:07 They shot me,
904 00:49:09 but your father did something heroic, I suppose.
905 00:49:11 It should have been him, actually.
906 00:49:14 Pluck it out.
907 00:49:17 Me?
908 00:49:18 Go ahead.
909 00:49:34 Keep it.
910 00:49:36 It's the one that didn't get you.
911 00:49:39 I'm glad.
912 00:49:41 The meeting's at midnight.
913 00:49:43 Are you still walking away?
914 00:49:45 How can I now?
915 00:49:48 Two taxis.
916 00:50:08 ZSA-ZSA: Don't mention anything.
917 00:50:11 To Marty about the gap.
918 00:50:12 Just pretend our job is building trust
919 00:50:14 and cementing it.
920 00:50:15 - Bjorn! - Hmm?
921 00:50:16 ZSA-ZSA: Where's the rucksack?
922 00:50:18 Oh, I shouldn't keep it in the taxi.
923 00:50:31 Any of you folks allergic to powdered insecticides?
924 00:50:33 ZSA-ZSA: Of course not.
925 00:50:34 Any of you folks bearing firearms
926 00:50:35 or other weapons on your person?
927 00:50:36 I carry a dagger.
928 00:50:38 May I ask the purpose of the hand grenades
929 00:50:39 you folks brought on board?
930 00:50:40 It's a gift, I think. He has extras.
931 00:50:54 Do I need a blood transfusion?
932 00:50:57 Hiya. Hiya! Come in! Good to see you, man.
933 00:50:59 Come in. Hiya. How are you, man?
934 00:51:01 Come in. Hiya. Hiya.
935 00:51:03 - Come in. - ZSA-ZSA: I've been shot,
936 00:51:05 but my diplomatic credentials slowed it down.
937 00:51:06 This is my daughter Liesl.
938 00:51:07 Do you need a blood transfusion?
939 00:51:09 I'm O negative, universal donor,
940 00:51:10 if that's what you're looking for.
941 00:51:12 - Who shot him? - Terrorist from out of town.
942 00:51:13 - Geez, man. You shoot him back? - Not yet.
943 00:51:15 This is Professor Bjorn, my administrative secretary.
944 00:51:17 Welcome aboard. Make yourself at home, man.
945 00:51:18 Have a seat.
946 00:51:20 You sit there, you sit there, you sit there,
947 00:51:21 you sit there, I sit here.
948 00:51:24 Don't ask me to cover the gap, man.
949 00:51:25 I know about the bashable rivets.
950 00:51:27 Of course not.
951 00:51:27 This is just a symbolic meeting.
952 00:51:29 It's a formality. Give me a pretzel.
953 00:51:30 Certainly.
954 00:51:31 Help yourself to a hand grenade.
955 00:51:32 You're very kind.
956 00:51:36 - Damn it! - Oh, dear!
957 00:51:37 Hey.
958 00:51:40 I woke up in the middle of the night
959 00:51:42 to a commotion downstairs.
960 00:51:44 Shouts and slams and breaking glass.
961 00:51:46 A shriek like a cat trapped in a cupboard.
962 00:51:49 I got up and snuck out
963 00:51:50 through the hatch in the upstairs scullery.
964 00:51:52 They locked me in at night.
965 00:51:53 I slid down the spiral banister.
966 00:51:56 Deadstock didn't see me, the underbutler at the time.
967 00:51:59 I walked down the long front room gallery,
968 00:52:01 Bun-Bun in one hand, Mousey in the other.
969 00:52:03 The grandfather clock chimed 3:00 a.m.
970 00:52:06 The door opened, and my father stepped out into the light.
971 00:52:08 He was wearing white pajamas and a white dressing gown.
972 00:52:11 His face was covered with cuts from a plane crash, as usual.
973 00:52:15 His hair was wild.
974 00:52:18 "Go to bed," you said.
975 00:52:21 "Where's Mama?" I said.
976 00:52:23 "Asleep," you said.
977 00:52:25 But it wasn't true. She was there.
978 00:52:28 Standing in the reflection in the mirror
979 00:52:30 in the doorway behind you at the back of the room.
980 00:52:33 She had on gloves and a coat.
981 00:52:35 Her blouse was unbuttoned.
982 00:52:37 Her breasts were naked.
983 00:52:39 "Your mother won't be living with us anymore," you said.
984 00:52:42 "Go to bed."
985 00:52:44 I walked in reverse to the stairs, then I ran.
986 00:52:48 They sent me away in the spring.
987 00:52:49 Ob-Objection, Your Honors.
988 00:52:51 That's such a distorted version of the story.
989 00:52:54 It's told from a child's point of view,
990 00:52:56 which is forgivable but maddening.
991 00:52:58 I never saw her again.
992 00:53:03 I'm not on trial here, am I?
993 00:53:14 I'm gonna confess something terrible
994 00:53:16 which you may never forgive me.
995 00:53:20 Take five, man.
996 00:53:25 The reason I know who killed your mother, which I didn't do,
997 00:53:28 is because I did do something else
998 00:53:29 which maybe caused it to happen.
999 00:53:33 Your mother wasn't a nun like you.
1000 00:53:34 She took lovers.
1001 00:53:36 One... one was your Uncle Nubar.
1002 00:53:40 I profoundly resented this insult,
1003 00:53:42 in spite of my own infidelities,
1004 00:53:44 and I tricked him, not in my own handwriting,
1005 00:53:45 into thinking your mother was betraying him behind his back
1006 00:53:48 with my administrative secretary at that time.
1007 00:53:52 The result: he murdered them both, I think.
1008 00:53:59 Did you love her?
1009 00:54:03 I was very fond of her. No.
1010 00:54:08 We must bring that man to justice,
1011 00:54:10 meaning get him arrested, if what you say is true.
1012 00:54:12 I swear my word of solemnest honor...
1013 00:54:14 - No, skip it. - I apologize.
1014 00:54:18 I forgive you.
1015 00:54:21 Just like that?
1016 00:54:23 That was my confession of something terrible.
1017 00:54:24 I told a poisonous lie, and your mother's dead.
1018 00:54:28 I always expected the worst from you.
1019 00:54:31 I forgive you. We're taught to.
1020 00:54:39 We can no longer honor the precise terms
1021 00:54:40 we agreed to validate.
1022 00:54:43 This document outlines our revised proposal.
1023 00:54:51 That's enough blood, man.
1024 00:55:11 - How dare you?! - How dare you?!
1025 00:55:12 - You liar! - Somebody's got to help me now!
1026 00:55:14 What in the hell made you think you had the gall
1027 00:55:15 and the guts to get away with anything, goddamn it?!
1028 00:55:17 ZSA-ZSA: It's sabotage!
1029 00:55:18 It's not my fault!
1030 00:55:20 I know about the bashable rivets!
1031 00:55:21 - I told you so! - It's the bashable rivets.
1032 00:55:24 Prince Farouk and his father covered five percent.
1033 00:55:25 The Sacramento Brothers covered ten.
1034 00:55:27 Marseille Bob agreed to 15.
1035 00:55:28 You're the richest-- 25.
1036 00:55:29 Why would I do that?
1037 00:55:31 We made an airtight, legally binding contract.
1038 00:55:33 No, I said 12.5.
1039 00:55:35 15 because I took a bullet for you.
1040 00:55:38 Why... is because, if you don't,
1041 00:55:41 I refuse to put the pin back in.
1042 00:55:44 A live hand grenade.
1043 00:55:45 ZSA-ZSA: It's a great scheme, which, if it works,
1044 00:55:47 is gonna benefit all our partners
1045 00:55:49 for generations to come, and we're privileged
1046 00:55:50 to thank you for your participation.
1047 00:55:52 Liesl, out.
1048 00:55:53 I'm not leaving the room so you can hand-grenade yourself
1049 00:55:55 as a business tactic.
1050 00:55:56 You asked me my strategy.
1051 00:55:58 - This is my strategy. - Will it work?
1052 00:56:00 Not with my daughter in range of the shrapnel, it won't.
1053 00:56:02 - Liesl, out. - You should go.
1054 00:56:03 You should go.
1055 00:56:05 Why wouldn't I just say yes now and betray you later?
1056 00:56:07 You're putting a hand grenade to my head.
1057 00:56:10 I trust you.
1058 00:56:30 I think I trust you, too, in return.
1059 00:56:32 Not to tell the truth or keep your word, obviously,
1060 00:56:35 but I suppose I'm moved by this absurd performance.
1061 00:56:39 I'll pitch in, man.
1062 00:56:41 20 percent.
1063 00:56:42 Sharply compromising my chances of profitability
1064 00:56:44 in an already extremely high-risk venture
1065 00:56:47 just to watch you conduct the grand finale.
1066 00:56:53 Thank you for the blood.
1067 00:56:54 You're welcome.
1068 00:57:06 Intercepted message from subject in transit
1069 00:57:08 suggests possible strategic merger
1070 00:57:10 with House of Sussman-Korda.
1071 00:57:12 Also, encrypted dispatch
1072 00:57:13 from undercover operative reports as follows.
1073 00:57:17 "Target's resources continue to dwindle
1074 00:57:19 "as partners grow dubious and bewildered.
1075 00:57:23 "Target repeatedly places significant cash funds
1076 00:57:25 "directly into operative's personal possession.
1077 00:57:27 "Tried to misplace.
1078 00:57:29 "However, operative does not have heart
1079 00:57:30 "to steal or destroy.
1080 00:57:32 Too cruel under circumstances."
1081 00:57:34 I'll debate that with him.
1082 00:57:36 Further, "Target has appointed daughter
1083 00:57:39 "his official successor.
1084 00:57:40 "Currently a nun.
1085 00:57:41 Not for long, I hope."
1086 00:58:06 Should I be kneeling?
1087 00:58:10 The only terms I dictate is:
1088 00:58:11 our marriage, on a statutory basis,
1089 00:58:13 would have to be a purely romantic union.
1090 00:58:15 I'm obliged to keep my daughter sole heir to my estate.
1091 00:58:30 My father and his father, your grandfather, I mean,
1092 00:58:33 nearly killed each other.
1093 00:58:34 Maybe you know that. Do you?
1094 00:58:36 No. I'm new to my family.
1095 00:58:38 Best friends, whatever it means in their case.
1096 00:58:41 They went into business together.
1097 00:58:43 Formulated a very effective poison gas.
1098 00:58:46 Killed tens of thousands of soldiers.
1099 00:58:47 Made tens of millions of dollars.
1100 00:58:49 One day, in their laboratory,
1101 00:58:50 a heated argument erupted into a slugging match.
1102 00:58:53 They attacked each other with lethal measures
1103 00:58:55 of an experimental new version of their weaponized aerosol,
1104 00:58:58 which fortunately turned out to be
1105 00:58:59 less effective than the original compound.
1106 00:59:01 Both survived, but that was the end of their partnership.
1107 00:59:05 I asked my father, 40 years later, nearly on his deathbed,
1108 00:59:07 still suffering minor neural effects from the incident,
1109 00:59:10 "What was the argument about?"
1110 00:59:12 - You know what he said? - Mm-mm.
1111 00:59:14 "Who could lick who, I guess.
1112 00:59:16 Or whom."
1113 00:59:19 That maybe is the source of most of our problems
1114 00:59:21 on this barren earth.
1115 00:59:23 "Who could lick who. Or whom, I guess."
1116 00:59:26 ZSA-ZSA: "If something gets in your way,
1117 00:59:28 flatten it."
1118 00:59:30 That was my father's advice
1119 00:59:31 before he cut me out of his will.
1120 00:59:37 He asked to be mummified and buried in a pyramid.
1121 00:59:40 We bought the land and drew up the plans but never built it.
1122 00:59:45 We had him cremated instead.
1123 00:59:47 Nothing he can do about it.
1124 00:59:49 - Is this paste? - ZSA-ZSA: Of course.
1125 00:59:51 It's a proxy for the real one,
1126 00:59:53 which I'm unable to pay for at this time.
1127 00:59:54 If you care to advance me a portion of the funds,
1128 00:59:56 - I'm more than... - I'm not paying for anything.
1129 00:59:59 I authorize a 150-year lease on the property and water rights.
1130 01:00:01 Maybe I might consider briefly marrying you as an experience,
1131 01:00:04 like a chapter in a book,
1132 01:00:05 depending on the advice of my tax attorney,
1133 01:00:07 but I'm not going to help you cover the gap.
1134 01:00:09 It's against the interest of my utopian outpost.
1135 01:00:13 I'm not asking you, I'm telling you,
1136 01:00:14 as your potential future husband.
1137 01:00:16 No.
1138 01:00:20 I'm not asking you,
1139 01:00:22 I'm begging you, as your favorite second cousin.
1140 01:00:24 No.
1141 01:00:28 Obey me.
1142 01:00:31 Why?
1143 01:00:39 If she does marry me,
1144 01:00:40 I'm not sure we can't compel her to cover the gap.
1145 01:00:43 Depending on the jurisdiction where the wedding takes place.
1146 01:00:47 Do you believe the official ruling
1147 01:00:49 my mother's death was caused by suicide?
1148 01:00:55 No.
1149 01:00:57 Who murdered her, then, in that case?
1150 01:00:58 In your opinion?
1151 01:01:00 I only know what they say.
1152 01:01:03 Is my uncle my father?
1153 01:01:16 The diplomatic pouch arrived.
1154 01:01:18 Open it.
1155 01:01:23 List of contents.
1156 01:01:24 fresh socks, ten pairs.
1157 01:01:27 a book.
1158 01:01:28 Fleas of the Americas by Karlsen and Voit.
1159 01:01:32 financial reports, for review.
1160 01:01:35 bills to be paid.
1161 01:01:37 emergency directive, urgent.
1162 01:01:40 fresh handkerchiefs, a bundle.
1163 01:01:41 ZSA-ZSA: Go back to five.
1164 01:01:42 Ah, yes. Might be important, looks like.
1165 01:01:44 ZSA-ZSA: Bring it to me.
1166 01:01:54 It's sabotage again.
1167 01:01:57 Give this to the pilot. New flight plan.
1168 01:01:59 - Where are we going? - Home.
1169 01:02:00 A parliamentary motion just passed
1170 01:02:02 intended to thwart me specifically.
1171 01:02:04 I need to be there with a notary by noon tomorrow.
1172 01:02:06 What happens if you don't?
1173 01:02:08 I become an English subject.
1174 01:02:09 Then they seize our worldwide assets,
1175 01:02:10 extradite me and send me to prison.
1176 01:02:12 Ah, got it.
1177 01:02:21 This is for you.
1178 01:02:23 Happy birthday.
1179 01:02:26 How old are you?
1180 01:02:28 Twenty-one.
1181 01:02:30 We can't read your handwriting.
1182 01:02:32 Is this a one or a seven?
1183 01:02:34 It's-- Goddamn it.
1184 01:02:35 It's a "G."
1185 01:03:00 "He's... been...
1186 01:03:02 fiddling with it."
1187 01:03:05 What?
1188 01:03:06 You're tapping in Morse code.
1189 01:03:09 Am I? Was I?
1190 01:03:10 I didn't notice. How strange.
1191 01:03:12 "He's... been...
1192 01:03:16 ...fiddling with it."
1193 01:03:17 You speak Morse code.
1194 01:03:19 Oh, no, no, not fluently.
1195 01:03:20 I learned it as a schoolboy.
1196 01:03:23 You speak Morse code.
1197 01:03:25 I'm the librarian of our-- back at the convent--
1198 01:03:27 collection of classical Latin scrolls and codices.
1199 01:03:29 I do deciphering.
1200 01:03:31 Fascinating.
1201 01:03:36 - Golly. - Oh, dear.
1202 01:03:37 Somebody poisoned his beer.
1203 01:03:38 We should've tested it.
1204 01:03:39 You let him drink in the cockpit?
1205 01:03:41 Just beer.
1206 01:03:42 Stand back and hang on.
1207 01:03:47 Uh-oh.
1208 01:03:52 Why am I up here being stalked by a fighter jet?
1209 01:03:56 I have a vocation.
1210 01:04:07 I think I recognize that assassin, too.
1211 01:04:09 He used to work for me, also.
1212 01:04:12 I'm disinheriting myself from you.
1213 01:04:15 What a terrible thing to say to a father.
1214 01:04:18 Especially during your trial period.
1215 01:04:19 Good heavens! He's back!
1216 01:04:25 Next time he strafes us, peg him with a hand grenade.
1217 01:04:54 It is an act.
1218 01:04:58 I bear no hostility toward your father or his interests.
1219 01:05:00 Your father, however, on occasion,
1220 01:05:02 bears decisive hostility to the United States government
1221 01:05:04 and its allies and enemies.
1222 01:05:06 It's my job to observe, report and maintain...
1223 01:05:08 You're a spy.
1224 01:05:10 Uh, well, it's an interesting story, I suppose.
1225 01:05:13 After the war, my own primary interests are very similar
1226 01:05:15 to the persona I present to you as Professor Bjorn.
1227 01:05:17 I completed my studies at Princeton
1228 01:05:20 and helped establish an expatriate scientific journal
1229 01:05:22 publishing poetry, drawing and ecological prose.
1230 01:05:25 Eventually, our government offered
1231 01:05:27 to subsidize the magazine in an effort to promote
1232 01:05:29 American cultural interests,
1233 01:05:30 but really they just wanted us all
1234 01:05:32 to become intelligence operatives.
1235 01:05:35 I hope you don't feel betrayed.
1236 01:05:38 I could go ahead and turn back into my normal self right now,
1237 01:05:40 if you like.
1238 01:05:42 It's not that different from how you see me already.
1239 01:06:05 See what I mean?
1240 01:06:06 Basically the same person.
1241 01:06:10 No, you're different.
1242 01:06:18 I'm not actually a bohemian.
1243 01:06:21 I'm a moderate conservative, politically.
1244 01:06:23 Also, I'm not from Oslo.
1245 01:06:24 I'm from Wilmington, Delaware.
1246 01:06:27 Also, I know how to drink, although I do find
1247 01:06:29 I'm less inhibited when I pretend to be drunk.
1248 01:06:32 Also, I wrote that book.
1249 01:06:35 I was going to recommend it to us.
1250 01:06:36 Is that a fake mustache?
1251 01:06:38 Oh, yes, uh, based on my real one, which I usually have.
1252 01:06:41 I do feel betrayed.
1253 01:06:42 Me, too.
1254 01:06:45 You lunatic!
1255 01:06:54 I feel deeply terrible about this.
1256 01:06:56 You employed me in good faith to teach you about insects.
1257 01:06:59 This is a wonderful setting for us to continue our lessons.
1258 01:07:02 I've never seen so many bugs in one place in all my life.
1259 01:07:05 With the possible exception of a garbage dump near Rome,
1260 01:07:07 which was equally breathtaking.
1261 01:07:15 Why'd you ask if I could imagine falling in love
1262 01:07:17 with a man like you, hypothetically? -Oh.
1263 01:07:19 - Yes. - Was it part of your mission?
1264 01:07:20 No, it wasn't part of my anything.
1265 01:07:23 I might justify it as trying to infiltrate
1266 01:07:25 your family business, but to tell you the truth,
1267 01:07:27 I still mean it as a genuine question.
1268 01:07:30 Both as Professor Bjorn and as Agent Karlsen
1269 01:07:32 of the Covert North American...
1270 01:07:33 ZSA-ZSA [in distance]: Don't help me!
1271 01:07:42 Don't help me.
1272 01:07:46 Wrap this around a tree trunk.
1273 01:07:48 I may go under for a moment, but I'll save him.
1274 01:07:50 No, you won't.
1275 01:07:51 I'll save myself myself.
1276 01:08:09 Bless us and these thy holy gifts which...
1277 01:08:11 - What's this about? - ...we are about to receive
1278 01:08:12 through thy merciful bounty.
1279 01:08:14 - We humble ourselves... - Dost thou not fear God?
1280 01:08:16 ...meekly before thee in thy name. Amen.
1281 01:08:18 - Amen. - Amen.
1282 01:08:22 Are you against slavery? In the Bible?
1283 01:08:26 It's damnable. To hell.
1284 01:08:29 I believe they receive a small stipend.
1285 01:08:44 The yield of Adam's loins crucified my only begotten son.
1286 01:08:49 I know, I know.
1287 01:08:51 Jesus.
1288 01:08:57 I'm not dead yet.
1289 01:09:03 Why didn't you let me sink? It's redundant.
1290 01:09:06 Our mission is strictly dedicated
1291 01:09:07 to sabotaging your business interests.
1292 01:09:09 We never resort to extralegal violence.
1293 01:09:11 I'm not gullible.
1294 01:09:13 - I'm aware of that. - What's the idea?
1295 01:09:15 To demolish your enterprise and pillage all its assets.
1296 01:09:18 That was horrible. I'll never forget it.
1297 01:09:20 I'll feel a traumatic effect on myself until the day I die.
1298 01:09:23 ZSA-ZSA: Really?
1299 01:09:24 I don't know if I feel terrible or flattered.
1300 01:09:27 Or both.
1301 01:09:28 Like maybe I matter.
1302 01:09:31 What did they do to you?
1303 01:09:33 Our family.
1304 01:09:35 I'm sorry I frightened you. It won't happen again.
1305 01:09:42 How'd you pass my polygraph?
1306 01:09:44 We're taught to. It's not difficult.
1307 01:09:46 - You do karate? - Of course.
1308 01:09:49 I'll teach you if you like.
1309 01:09:50 No, it's too late.
1310 01:09:55 I don't know how many more times I can die.
1311 01:09:58 These filthy books should all be burned.
1312 01:10:06 Except this one.
1313 01:10:07 It's sacrilegious, but it speaks to me.
1314 01:10:10 ZSA-ZSA: Keep it. It's yours. Open your birthday present.
1315 01:10:24 I love it.
1316 01:10:26 It's a beautiful piece.
1317 01:10:27 What's your real first name, Agent Karlsen?
1318 01:10:35 I'm happy to just go by Bjorn.
1319 01:10:44 My only pleasant memories of a miserable childhood
1320 01:10:46 take place below stairs.
1321 01:10:49 I was allowed to dine with the household staff once a week.
1322 01:10:52 They pretended to love me.
1323 01:10:53 What choice did they have?
1324 01:10:56 To this day, I'm a very good cook and dishwasher.
1325 01:11:01 6:15. The cock crows.
1326 01:11:04 The robin brings worms to its chicks
1327 01:11:06 in the nest on my windowsill.
1328 01:11:08 Sister Mary pumps the water pump at 7:00.
1329 01:11:11 The bell rings for morning prayers.
1330 01:11:13 The shape of the day, each day, is exactly the same.
1331 01:11:16 We like it that way.
1332 01:11:18 As a little boy, I kept fleas in plastic bags in my bedroom
1333 01:11:21 and did my morphology and microscopy at night.
1334 01:11:23 I lived with my mother's sister.
1335 01:11:25 My parents conducted their research abroad.
1336 01:11:27 Aunt Beth was very kind,
1337 01:11:29 but she never approved of my practices.
1338 01:11:31 - The house was regularly fumigated,
1339 01:11:33 resulting in a great loss of specimens.
1340 01:11:37 And later, out of jealousy and loneliness, I betrayed them.
1341 01:11:41 The kitchen staff.
1342 01:11:42 I told my father the truth.
1343 01:11:44 They steal.
1344 01:11:46 I thought I would become his ally.
1345 01:11:48 Instead, he gave me a tremendous beating
1346 01:11:49 and didn't speak a word to me for 90 days.
1347 01:11:54 He fired them all just the same.
1348 01:11:56 I'm going back to the sisters.
1349 01:11:59 No, you don't. How can you? We're marooned.
1350 01:12:02 - Besides, you're my sole heir. - On a trial basis.
1351 01:12:04 That's finished. You're hired.
1352 01:12:06 I don't forgive you after all, I'm ashamed to say.
1353 01:12:08 Plus, we got to get revenge on your Uncle Nubar.
1354 01:12:10 Or bring him to justice, if you prefer.
1355 01:12:12 I leave that to you and your conscience.
1356 01:12:13 I don't have one.
1357 01:12:15 Plus, what about the poor slaves and the famine?
1358 01:12:17 I'm going back to the sisters.
1359 01:12:18 To pray and study and work diligently to overcome
1360 01:12:20 my weaknesses of character, which are probably genetic.
1361 01:12:25 In other words, it's all my fault again.
1362 01:12:27 You can burn the house down after all if we survive.
1363 01:12:37 There you are.
1364 01:12:39 Hello again, here in the middle of the jungle.
1365 01:12:41 How extraordinary to stumble across
1366 01:12:42 your crash site, I gather.
1367 01:12:44 Hello, hello, hello.
1368 01:12:50 I'm not a businessman.
1369 01:12:51 On the contrary, I'm a communist revolutionary
1370 01:12:54 heavily armed and living in a secret jungle encampment
1371 01:12:56 with a band of freedom fighters.
1372 01:12:58 However, even I can see your plan on its surface
1373 01:13:00 defies the basic laws of economics.
1374 01:13:02 That's why it's never been done before.
1375 01:13:04 My plan defies everything.
1376 01:13:11 What's your connection to the company?
1377 01:13:14 Me? I pretend to be his administrative secretary,
1378 01:13:16 but really I'm the tutor.
1379 01:13:18 But actually, in fact, I'm a spy
1380 01:13:19 for the United States government.
1381 01:13:21 Wow.
1382 01:13:23 Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature.
1383 01:13:25 It's a protest against suffering.
1384 01:13:27 I agree. You're not an atheist?
1385 01:13:29 Of course I am.
1386 01:13:31 Some of my colleagues, however, only claim to be.
1387 01:13:36 I had a private army once.
1388 01:13:37 Big headache.
1389 01:13:44 ZSA-ZSA: 15 minutes to spare. Where's my notary?
1390 01:13:46 We need fingerprints and signatures.
1391 01:13:48 You're all official witnesses.
1392 01:13:49 - Mother Superior. - Including the terrorists.
1393 01:13:50 Peace be with you, my child.
1394 01:13:52 A fighter jet shot us down in the jungle.
1395 01:13:53 By the grace of God, we survived.
1396 01:13:55 You received my letter?
1397 01:13:57 Yes. I wrote you back.
1398 01:13:59 I'm prepared to take my vows.
1399 01:14:01 Read the letter first.
1400 01:14:03 We received a marriage license and antenuptial contract.
1401 01:14:06 I assume you're aware of the proposal.
1402 01:14:09 I didn't know she says yes.
1403 01:14:12 You're very pious, Sister Liesl,
1404 01:14:15 but you're not plain.
1405 01:14:16 The stones on your pipe, for instance.
1406 01:14:19 Not to mention the opulence of your rosary
1407 01:14:22 and this astonishing dagger.
1408 01:14:24 A gift from a prince.
1409 01:14:26 Mother Superior, you reproach me
1410 01:14:28 when I most require your trust and guidance.
1411 01:14:34 Worldly adornments do serve
1412 01:14:37 certain good people for the good.
1413 01:14:39 We're not all destined to deny ourselves
1414 01:14:41 man's earthly pleasures.
1415 01:14:43 Some thrive in tranquil simplicity.
1416 01:14:45 Others find beauty in color, splendor and jubilation.
1417 01:14:49 This is no reproach, my child.
1418 01:14:52 You're a rich girl, always were.
1419 01:14:55 Of course, we would continue to cherish
1420 01:14:57 your ongoing patronage of the abbey.
1421 01:14:59 You just won't be a nun anymore.
1422 01:15:02 Is God more interested in my money or my soul?
1423 01:15:04 I can't speak for him.
1424 01:15:08 ZSA-ZSA: Maybe I can assist in this area,
1425 01:15:09 both as a father and as an expert mediator.
1426 01:15:13 I gather you kicked her out.
1427 01:15:14 I'm urging Liesl to return to her family and greater society.
1428 01:15:18 Mother Superior still wants us
1429 01:15:19 to fund construction of the new refectory.
1430 01:15:22 - With gratitude. - Of course.
1431 01:15:28 Are you authorized, by the way,
1432 01:15:30 to do a baptizing if somebody wants to be Catholic? Me?
1433 01:15:33 You're an atheist.
1434 01:15:35 I feel I have a religious awakening now,
1435 01:15:37 if that's what we call it.
1436 01:15:38 Tell me how this awakening came to pass.
1437 01:15:41 Well, I would say
1438 01:15:44 partly it's because of my near-death episodes.
1439 01:15:46 I get, I get a kind of visions.
1440 01:15:49 Never mind the details.
1441 01:15:50 Then partly there is the fiduciary benefit.
1442 01:15:53 Then mostly, and I would weight this factor out to maybe 75%,
1443 01:15:56 it's simply the influence of my daughter's influence,
1444 01:15:59 which has a profound effect on me.
1445 01:16:01 And I think, at my age, in the end, finally,
1446 01:16:03 it's better I just go on her side.
1447 01:16:12 The point is to be delivered from sin and purified.
1448 01:16:15 It doesn't work if you're lying.
1449 01:16:17 I'm not lying.
1450 01:16:19 I'm capable of, and willing to, genuinely believe
1451 01:16:21 in the opposite of my personal convictions.
1452 01:16:23 I can do that
1453 01:16:25 in certain situations.
1454 01:16:31 You remember the combination?
1455 01:16:46 Another shoebox.
1456 01:16:47 This one's older.
1457 01:16:52 - What's inside? - I don't know.
1458 01:16:53 Supposedly, a reliquary of our family history,
1459 01:16:56 sealed half a score ago by my father's notary.
1460 01:16:59 I willed it to you, but since we're here, take it.
1461 01:17:06 I'll open it later.
1462 01:17:21 My great-grandfather built the hotel.
1463 01:17:23 Liesl would've been the fifth-generation proprietor,
1464 01:17:25 except my father sold it to an American conglomerate.
1465 01:17:29 Who ruined it, of course.
1466 01:17:35 The venue is situated on a precarious border
1467 01:17:37 among three fiefdoms, two of which remain
1468 01:17:40 under martial law after a military coup.
1469 01:17:43 In exchange for me allowing you
1470 01:17:44 to steal the painting rolled up in that shipping tube,
1471 01:17:47 you and your terrorists provide security services
1472 01:17:49 to our entire party throughout the event.
1473 01:17:51 Ah, they stole the painting.
1474 01:17:53 ZSA-ZSA: You'll officiate.
1475 01:17:54 It's good timing in a business sense.
1476 01:17:56 Function hall number five has been duly sanctioned,
1477 01:17:58 in accordance with the laws of this territory...
1478 01:18:00 ZSA-ZSA: Even an immediate divorce might bear a profit.
1479 01:18:04 - ZSA-ZSA: You reach him? - Yes.
1480 01:18:06 His Holiness refuses to cover the gap, any of it.
1481 01:18:08 I know Felix. He's stubborn.
1482 01:18:10 We'll need to sweeten the pot.
1483 01:18:14 ZSA-ZSA: Tell him I offer nine more souls.
1484 01:18:17 Are you still an enemy spy?
1485 01:18:18 At the moment, no.
1486 01:18:20 I thought I might be more useful as a double agent.
1487 01:18:22 I couldn't pay you any extra.
1488 01:18:24 Oh, no, naturally it would be included in my tutorial fees.
1489 01:18:26 My operational handler, code name Excalibur.
1490 01:18:29 - Agent Karlsen. - Excalibur.
1491 01:18:32 I know about the bashable rivets
1492 01:18:33 and the bolts, spikes and pulverized gravel, too.
1493 01:18:36 This office can neither confirm nor deny any such knowledge,
1494 01:18:38 nor would it elect to acknowledge said knowledge
1495 01:18:40 - if it did in fact... - It's sabotage!
1496 01:18:42 I swear my word of solemnest honor, I'll never let you win.
1497 01:18:47 Ha.
1498 01:18:48 I've arranged for you to accuse him in person,
1499 01:18:50 by the way, your Uncle Nubar.
1500 01:18:51 - Really? - Of course.
1501 01:18:53 It's crucial we confront this unspeakable evil.
1502 01:18:55 - Als-- Amen. - Amen.
1503 01:18:56 Also, it's even more crucial we secure
1504 01:18:58 his financial investment position.
1505 01:19:00 As you know,
1506 01:19:01 I never admit the possibility of--
1507 01:19:03 and even avoid the word-- failure.
1508 01:19:06 Maybe that's a weakness.
1509 01:19:08 On the other hand, we're only missing one slice of the pie
1510 01:19:09 that was baked too big for the...
1511 01:19:15 Just a dud. Just a dud.
1512 01:19:19 Myself, I feel very safe.
1513 01:19:26 Sir Nubar has arrived.
1514 01:19:31 ZSA-ZSA: Off the record, the gap might be bottomless.
1515 01:19:34 Closer to an abyss.
1516 01:19:36 In fact, there's even more to it now,
1517 01:19:39 a further dimension than I previously anticipated.
1518 01:19:42 The emotional gap.
1519 01:19:43 If it tur--
1520 01:19:47 You used to work for me.
1521 01:19:48 - Who? Him? - Who? -Hmm?
1522 01:19:50 I'm sorry. Me? No.
1523 01:19:51 I was in disguise.
1524 01:19:53 Oh, Dr. Lanzmann.
1525 01:19:54 I recognize this assassin.
1526 01:19:59 Who hired you to kill me?
1527 01:20:03 Oh, no.
1528 01:20:06 Suicide pill.
1529 01:20:28 If it turns out you're not my daughter, can I adopt you?
1530 01:20:32 With your permission.
1531 01:20:35 Yes.
1532 01:20:38 In that case, whatever happens, we'll be fine.
1533 01:20:59 Restate the purpose of this visit.
1534 01:21:01 ZSA-ZSA: Exactly as we agreed, my dear Nubar.
1535 01:21:03 The validation of your proprietary shares
1536 01:21:06 after 55% advance against the interim shortfall.
1537 01:21:09 This is just a symbolic meeting.
1538 01:21:10 It's a formality.
1539 01:21:13 Liesl has additional objectives, of course, as you're aware.
1540 01:21:16 My father promised to arrange for me to accuse you in person.
1541 01:21:18 That's what I'm here to do.
1542 01:21:21 Why would I murder her?
1543 01:21:23 She wasn't my wife.
1544 01:21:26 Help yourself to a hand grenade.
1545 01:21:28 Oh, you're very kind. I have my own.
1546 01:21:36 What's your blood type, Liesl?
1547 01:21:39 I don't know.
1548 01:21:40 They never tested it, to my knowledge.
1549 01:21:43 You have my eyes.
1550 01:21:45 Do people not tell you that?
1551 01:21:47 Nobody ever told her she has anybody's anything.
1552 01:21:52 I'll wait outside.
1553 01:21:56 She's not your daughter.
1554 01:22:00 I don't care.
1555 01:22:06 One thing you'll never know, because you can't:
1556 01:22:10 the truth.
1557 01:22:12 Although in my opinion, it was probably
1558 01:22:14 your administrative secretary at that time.
1559 01:22:15 He's the father.
1560 01:22:17 Actually, I think I know it for a fact.
1561 01:22:18 I'm astonished you didn't see it already.
1562 01:22:20 And if I did kill him, I'd never admit it.
1563 01:22:23 ZSA-ZSA: I invented that lie.
1564 01:22:25 - To trick you. - Of course you did,
1565 01:22:27 but it was true.
1566 01:22:28 The blood types prove it. Probably.
1567 01:22:30 ZSA-ZSA: You've got my blood?
1568 01:22:32 - And hers? - I've got everybody's blood.
1569 01:22:34 - ZSA-ZSA: No, you don't. - Yes, I do.
1570 01:22:36 - No, you don't. - Of course I do.
1571 01:22:39 No, you don't.
1572 01:22:40 They say you murdered all your wives.
1573 01:22:42 Wait.
1574 01:22:45 I'm putting this on just so I don't lie.
1575 01:22:48 I didn't murder that wife, your mother, or any other.
1576 01:22:53 I would even go so far as to say I'm incapable of it,
1577 01:22:56 whatever they say about me behind my back,
1578 01:22:58 whoever they are.
1579 01:23:00 I wasn't taught to, either, to beat the polygraph.
1580 01:23:09 Where did he come from?
1581 01:23:14 I can't remember.
1582 01:23:17 I'll open the shoebox.
1583 01:23:31 My father. On his birthday.
1584 01:23:34 My uncle. All A's.
1585 01:23:39 My mother. On her wedding day.
1586 01:23:43 A carton of six poison gas ampules.
1587 01:23:46 A rare stamp, a gold coin, a skeleton key.
1588 01:23:50 Secret letters.
1589 01:23:54 My grandfather.
1590 01:23:56 Some of him. Just ashes.
1591 01:24:00 I'll take one.
1592 01:24:04 It's a staggeringly ambitious project
1593 01:24:06 but situated entirely in a perpetual war zone.
1594 01:24:10 For the next 150 years, I'd rather sell
1595 01:24:12 guns, bombs and ammunition.
1596 01:24:14 It's our family business.
1597 01:24:16 My no is final.
1598 01:24:18 Wow, you're pulling out your entire investment
1599 01:24:22 and breaking your promise to me.
1600 01:24:24 Stabbing everybody, all at once, simultaneously,
1601 01:24:27 - in the back. - Yes.
1602 01:24:28 Why'd you come here, in that case?
1603 01:24:36 I couldn't resist.
1604 01:24:45 It's me.
1605 01:24:46 I'll cover the gap.
1606 01:24:48 Everything we got, our entire fortune,
1607 01:24:50 plus a little bit more.
1608 01:24:52 I proceed as a silent partner,
1609 01:24:54 taking a complete loss of all my assets
1610 01:24:56 with no opportunity for any future upside,
1611 01:24:58 and I'm still on the hook for unlimited debts and deficits.
1612 01:25:01 Fine. I'll do it.
1613 01:25:05 The slaves will be paid.
1614 01:25:09 The famine will be finished.
1615 01:25:12 We'll beat those bureaucrats.
1616 01:25:16 And my most important project of my lifetime
1617 01:25:18 comes to pass...
1618 01:25:21 ...without us.
1619 01:25:25 I don't want a fortune.
1620 01:26:23 I present to you now, at this time,
1621 01:26:26 the first symbolic demonstration
1622 01:26:27 of our abundant desert harvest,
1623 01:26:30 borne from deep within the earth's rich,
1624 01:26:32 elemental...
1625 01:26:34 Sir Nubar asks for another word.
1626 01:26:36 Oh, shit.
1627 01:26:39 I'll be right back.
1628 01:26:51 Yes, my dear Nubar? How can I assist you?
1629 01:26:53 I've changed my mind. I'll do it myself.
1630 01:26:55 Stupendous. I knew it.
1631 01:26:58 No, not the business deal. My no is final.
1632 01:27:00 I mean your assassination.
1633 01:27:22 So it is you.
1634 01:27:24 The enemy trying to murder me all along.
1635 01:27:26 Yeah.
1636 01:27:27 The son of my father.
1637 01:27:28 - My own half brother. - Yeah.
1638 01:27:39 - I've got everybody's blood. - No, you don't.
1639 01:27:40 - Yes, I do. - No, you don't.
1640 01:27:41 Yes, I do.
1641 01:27:55 I won't die.
1642 01:27:57 I never do.
1643 01:28:09 You're worse than me.
1644 01:28:10 You're not human.
1645 01:28:12 You're biblical.
1646 01:28:32 Can't you stop? Can't you leave me alone?
1647 01:28:35 Why do you need to always keep assassinating me all the time?
1648 01:28:41 You know the answer.
1649 01:28:43 I don't need to say it.
1650 01:28:47 "Who could lick whom, I guess."
1651 01:28:52 Yeah.
1652 01:30:11 Let's communicate.
1653 01:31:46 When I pray, no one answers.
1654 01:31:49 I only pretend he does.
1655 01:31:51 Then I do whatever I think God probably would've suggested.
1656 01:31:56 Usually, it's obvious.
1657 01:32:02 Amen.
1658 01:32:11 Peace be with you, Reverend Mother.
1659 01:32:13 "Chapter one.
1660 01:32:14 Cedric himself knew nothing of..."
1661 01:32:16 Our new quarters, though modest, cramped,
1662 01:32:17 meager and shabby, are nevertheless
1663 01:32:20 charming and versatile.
1664 01:32:21 "But then his papa had died when he was a little boy..."
1665 01:32:23 The boys, to my delight,
1666 01:32:24 finally begin to thrive and flourish.
1667 01:32:27 I do serve a purpose here.
1668 01:32:28 "Since his papa's death,
1669 01:32:29 Cedric had found out that it was best..."
1670 01:32:31 Agent Karlsen resigned as a double agent
1671 01:32:33 and accepted a staff position at our local grammar school.
1672 01:32:36 ...predators, much like our friend, the plebejus beetle,
1673 01:32:38 who has a similar kind of casing,
1674 01:32:39 and he doesn't mind predators at all.
1675 01:32:42 My stepmother annulled
1676 01:32:44 her brief union with my father.
1677 01:32:45 And one and two and three and four.
1678 01:32:50 My father's entrepreneurial energies remain
1679 01:32:53 robustly invigorated by the austerity of our poverty.
1680 01:32:56 Tell him he's welcome, but don't let him leave.
1681 01:32:58 I do admire his resilience and ambition,
1682 01:33:01 though I don't believe these come from God.
1683 01:33:05 The Phoenician Scheme continues to deepen and widen.
1684 01:33:11 It may be a sizable step backwards for civilization...
1685 01:33:15 ...but it will produce some good works, I'm sure of it.
1686 01:33:21 Could you imagine marrying a man like me?
1687 01:33:23 I mean it as a genuine question.
1688 01:33:27 Is that paste?
1689 01:33:28 No. Yes. I think so. I don't know.
1690 01:33:30 It's the same one. Cousin Hilda sent it back.
1691 01:33:33 I asked your father for his consent,
1692 01:33:34 and he loaned it to me to give to you.
1693 01:33:40 P.S. To this day,
1694 01:33:42 he's a very good cook...
1695 01:33:46 ...and dishwasher.
1696 01:34:30 Two whiskeys.
1697 01:35:07 You say yes?
1698 01:35:11 On a trial basis.
1699 01:35:21 Hearts.
1700 01:38:16 " playing]
