精灵旅社2 (Hotel Transylvania 2)(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:01:54 Welcome! Welcome!
2 00:01:56 Congrats, Drac.
3 00:01:58 Holy smokes, everybody's here.
4 00:02:01 Mr. and Mrs. Loughran, the parents of the groom, and family.
5 00:02:09 - Mom and Dad! - Johnny!
6 00:02:10 I can't believe you're all here.
7 00:02:34 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
8 00:02:37 Yo, how hot is my date?
9 00:02:39 So hot. Wow.
10 00:02:41 How 'bout how hot mine is?
11 00:02:42 You got a date?
12 00:02:44 Yeah. She's invisible. That's why you can't see her.
13 00:02:48 Oh, right. This is the one from "Canada"?
14 00:02:50 Wedding's starting.
15 00:03:51 Great.
16 00:03:59 True. So true, Marty.
17 00:04:17 Aw. How sweet.
18 00:04:21 Oh, my. Look at you.
19 00:04:25 Oh, my gosh.
20 00:04:40 Is it everything you wanted, my little poisonberry?
21 00:04:43 Oh, it is, Daddy.
22 00:04:46 Except where's Grandpa Vlad?
23 00:04:48 Honey, your gramps would not have been cool with this.
24 00:04:51 He's old-school.
25 00:04:52 How do we know? If he could just meet Johnny...
26 00:04:55 He would have eaten him.
27 00:04:56 He's not as enlightened as your hip Daddy.
28 00:04:59 So, you're really okay with him not being a monster?
29 00:05:03 Human, monster, unicorn, as long as you're happy.
30 00:05:08 Thanks, Dad.
31 00:05:12 And you'll always be my moonlight
32 00:05:16 But now on wings of love you soar
33 00:05:19 Now that you're Johnny's girl
34 00:05:22 Johnny's girl
35 00:05:23 And kind of Daddy's, too
36 00:05:26 Your mom would be so happy
37 00:05:28 'Cause she always knew
38 00:05:30 Love is making room for all the best in you?
39 00:05:55 Hey, Dad.
40 00:05:56 Oh, hey, guys!
41 00:05:57 Todd, take a break.
42 00:06:02 So, what's up?
43 00:06:04 Mavis was wondering if maybe you wanted to go for a fly.
44 00:06:07 Oh. We haven't done that in forever. Any special reason?
45 00:06:12 No special reason at all.
46 00:06:14 Right, Mavey?
47 00:06:16 What's his deal?
48 00:06:17 He's silly.
49 00:06:19 It's just a beautiful night, and...
50 00:06:21 Well, if you don't want to...
51 00:06:23 No, no! Are you kidding?
52 00:06:24 I would eat a bucket of garlic to fly with you.
53 00:07:02 Oh, honey, look at those fluffy clouds.
54 00:07:06 Remember what we played when you were little?
55 00:07:09 Hide and go seek sharp objects?
56 00:07:12 Okay. Regular hide and go seek.
57 00:07:18 Where are you?
58 00:07:22 Honeybat!
59 00:07:26 Mavey!
60 00:07:29 Honeybat!
61 00:07:31 I'm gonna get you.
62 00:07:40 Honey? Are you okay?
63 00:07:42 Yes. It's just a little harder
64 00:07:44 to catch my breath since I'm pregnant.
65 00:07:46 Yes, well, I guess that would make it more...
66 00:07:48 What?
67 00:07:57 I'm gonna be a Grandpa!
68 00:08:01 And I'm gonna be a Dad!
69 00:08:06 'Cause you're Daddy's girl, or boy
70 00:08:09 Daddy's girl, or boy
71 00:08:11 I'm hungry again, honey.
72 00:08:13 Can you get me some ice cream with anchovies?
73 00:08:17 No, no, no. You mustn't give in to your cravings.
74 00:08:20 It's not good for the baby.
75 00:08:22 You need to increase your spider intake,
76 00:08:24 so he'll be able to climb ceilings properly.
77 00:08:26 And eat lots of sheep bile.
78 00:08:29 I love you, Dad, but we don't even know
79 00:08:31 if the kid's gonna be a vampire.
80 00:08:33 I'd be thrilled if the baby's human-y, just like Johnny.
81 00:08:36 "Human-y." With thousands of years of Dracula genes.
82 00:08:39 Not gonna happen.
83 00:08:41 As long as the baby's healthy.
84 00:08:43 Of course. A healthy little vampire.
85 00:08:45 Or human.
86 00:08:46 Yes, a human who can fly as a bat.
87 00:08:49 Here. Just have some monster ball soup.
88 00:08:52 It's your mommy's recipe.
89 00:08:58 Thank you, Dad.
90 00:09:01 Just like you made it when I was a kid. My favorite.
91 00:09:16 Sorry.
92 00:09:32 Sir, only the father is allowed in the delivery room.
93 00:09:35 Really? I mean, okay.
94 00:09:37 He's the family, I guess.
95 00:09:45 Oh, look! It's a boy! It's a boy!
96 00:09:48 The Dracula bloodline carries on!
97 00:09:52 No one will ever harm you as long as I'm here,
98 00:09:55 my little devil dog.
99 00:09:58 Dad, can I hold my baby?
100 00:09:59 If I were Dad, I'd say yes.
101 00:10:02 But I'm the nurse, Francine.
102 00:10:04 Here you go anyway.
103 00:10:12 My bad.
104 00:10:19 Little Dennis is a year old now. Wow!
105 00:10:25 Nice. Yeah. Cute kid.
106 00:10:30 Okay, time for presents, guys.
107 00:10:34 All right! Let's do this boy up!
108 00:10:37 Check out what I got him. Bling!
109 00:10:40 Wow. Is it cursed?
110 00:10:42 Super cursed. Only the best.
111 00:10:44 Straight from the crypt.
112 00:10:46 He's just starting to walk, so maybe it's heavier than...
113 00:10:52 Oh. You're okay, Denisovich.
114 00:10:54 His name is Dennis. Named after my father.
115 00:10:57 It's not his vampire name.
116 00:10:59 My little Denisovichy-weesovichy.
117 00:11:02 Huh! Are we sure he's a vampire?
118 00:11:04 I mean, not that it's a bad thing,
119 00:11:06 but shouldn't he have fangs and that pasty skin you guys have?
120 00:11:11 Technically, you have until you're five to get your vampire fangs.
121 00:11:14 Oh, he'll get his fangs. He's a Dracula.
122 00:11:16 He's also half Loughran.
123 00:11:18 Maybe he'd be better off where we live. There's more humans there.
124 00:11:21 What? Look how well he's playing with the wolf pups.
125 00:11:28 We have a present. I hope it's acceptable.
126 00:11:33 "My first guillotine."
127 00:11:35 Very educational. Well played, Frank.
128 00:11:38 It's great. Thank you. We just have to baby-proof that.
129 00:11:43 Johnny, do you know where you put the rubber guards?
130 00:11:47 Baby-proofing a guillotine?
131 00:11:49 So you cut your finger off. It's part of the fun.
132 00:11:52 She made me baby-proof the whole hotel.
133 00:11:55 Someone's overprotective.
134 00:12:22 Johnny! Come quick!
135 00:12:27 What's up? He's okay?
136 00:12:29 Dennis said his first word!
137 00:12:30 He did?
138 00:12:32 Come on, honey. Say it again.
139 00:12:34 Bleh, bleh-bleh.
140 00:12:36 I don't say, "bleh, bleh-bleh."
141 00:12:40 We didn't say you did.
142 00:12:42 Then where did he get that?
143 00:12:43 Bleh, bleh-bleh.
144 00:12:44 Well, maybe sometimes you say it.
145 00:12:47 I only say it when I say I don't say it!
146 00:12:49 Bleh, bleh-bleh.
147 00:12:51 Okay, kid. We get it. You can talk.
148 00:12:55 Denisovich.
149 00:12:58 Dad.
150 00:12:59 Just checking for cavities.
151 00:13:04 Bleh, bleh-bleh.
152 00:13:05 Bleh, bleh-bleh.
153 00:13:07 It was you!
154 00:13:19 Oh, my goodness, Leonard.
155 00:13:20 If you really looked that hideous,
156 00:13:22 I don't think I could hang out with you.
157 00:13:24 Guys, what's the deal?
158 00:13:26 Is this a party? Pick up a phone.
159 00:13:29 I don't care if Johnny said it's a "cool app." Johnny's still new here.
160 00:13:34 Now, porridge head, did you call a hearse for the Gremlinbergs?
161 00:13:37 No, you're checking your Facebook page. Again.
162 00:13:41 Drac, I told the guys social media
163 00:13:43 is the best way to promote the hotel.
164 00:13:44 Right, Clifton?
165 00:13:47 So, Drac, I wanted to go through some thoughts I had,
166 00:13:50 as your new human relations coordinating co-assistant.
167 00:13:53 Sure. It's a real job.
168 00:13:54 Not a cheap excuse to keep Mavis happy, so you never leave here.
169 00:13:57 Right. So, I was thinking,
170 00:14:00 since we have so many humans now, maybe update some of the acts?
171 00:14:04 Like, maybe the magician?
172 00:14:05 What's wrong with Harry three-eye?
173 00:14:07 Well, he might be a little old-school for the humans.
174 00:14:11 Tell me, sir, what was your card?
175 00:14:13 The three of spades?
176 00:14:16 Is this your card, my friend?
177 00:14:19 Whoa!
178 00:14:22 No, Harry's great.
179 00:14:24 Can't blame Harry for the crowd not being hip.
180 00:14:26 Okay, what about Wayne?
181 00:14:29 Wayne? Are you nuts? He's my boy.
182 00:14:30 Then maybe something other than tennis?
183 00:14:32 Okay, so, what you wanna do
184 00:14:34 is lift the racket right on impact, so you get that nice top spin.
185 00:14:38 Try and hit one.
186 00:14:48 What is that? What's the noise? It's on me!
187 00:14:51 It's just the cell phone I got you.
188 00:14:53 Clifton's sending you a text so you can practice how to write back.
189 00:15:00 What the... It's not doing it.
190 00:15:02 I got it.
191 00:15:04 dear drac gar ugha gjergh arggh grgrgrhgr
192 00:15:08 Now you can text Clifton.
193 00:15:10 All right, fine.
194 00:15:13 How do you do this?
195 00:15:14 Maybe it's your fingernails.
196 00:15:15 It's easy. Look. I'll text Mavis.
197 00:15:18 Psyched for date night.
198 00:15:21 See? And now look, she texted right back.
199 00:15:23 "Gotta cancel. Can't leave Dennis."
200 00:15:26 Okay.
201 00:15:27 Are we never allowed to be alone again?
202 00:15:32 I need to feel loved, too.
203 00:15:36 And send.
204 00:15:39 Okay. All that taught me is that you're pathetic.
205 00:15:42 Yeah, got it. Maybe you should just get Bluetooth.
206 00:15:44 Okay. Blue tooth, come over here.
207 00:15:50 So, now what?
208 00:15:56 Rise and shine, my Denisovich.
209 00:15:58 Hi, Papa.
210 00:16:00 Hello, my little devil. Did you have sweet nightmares?
211 00:16:03 Uh-huh. I dreamed that I saw a stegosaurus.
212 00:16:07 Oh... and were you drinking his blood?
213 00:16:10 No.
214 00:16:11 Just throwing it out there.
215 00:16:12 Hey! You want to do something cool?
216 00:16:14 Yeah!
217 00:16:17 I'm going to teach you how to turn into a bat. Like me.
218 00:16:21 - See? - Cool.
219 00:16:23 Yes! Cool, like I said.
220 00:16:26 Now you try.
221 00:16:28 I'm a bat.
222 00:16:29 I'm a bat. I'm a bat. I'm a bat.
223 00:16:31 I'm a bat.
224 00:16:33 I mean, a real bat.
225 00:16:35 I'm a bat!
226 00:16:38 Denisovich. Take a breath. You can really turn into a bat.
227 00:16:43 Try. Feel the bat.
228 00:16:47 Not a chicken.
229 00:16:51 What's that? The electric boogaloo?
230 00:16:53 If I show you I can bust a move, will you try to fly, then?
231 00:16:56 Uh-huh.
232 00:17:12 Dad? Why are you guys dancing?
233 00:17:15 Uh, he was sleep-dancing.
234 00:17:17 Come on, sweetie. Back to bed.
235 00:17:19 "Back to bed"? It's already after 8:00 P.M.
236 00:17:22 Don't you remember the new sleep schedule?
237 00:17:24 He's going to human classes half the day.
238 00:17:27 If he could just sleep till 2:00 A.M. tonight, it'd be so great for him.
239 00:17:30 But, honeydeath, six of Wayne's wolf pups
240 00:17:32 are having a birthday party tonight.
241 00:17:34 You wouldn't want him to miss that.
242 00:17:36 Dad, I love the wolf pups, but they're a little too rough for Dennis.
243 00:17:40 "Too rough"?
244 00:17:42 Haven't you noticed? Dennis is different.
245 00:17:44 What are you saying? Denisovich shouldn't be around monsters?
246 00:17:47 - I love monsters! Video! Video! - Ha!
247 00:17:50 Oh, you wanna show Papa Drac your monster video?
248 00:17:52 Yeah!
249 00:17:56 Who's the coolest monster?
250 00:17:58 Kakie!
251 00:18:00 Wee! Kakie one happy monster!
252 00:18:03 Kakie love cake! Yummy!
253 00:18:06 Tummy get a tummyache.
254 00:18:08 Whoa, whoa, whoa. How is that a monster?
255 00:18:12 Have some cake, wuzzlelumplebum.
256 00:18:14 Remember, kids, a real monster always shares.
257 00:18:18 "Shares"? Yes! When I think monsters, I think "shares."
258 00:18:23 Now, let me tell you what a real monster is, Denisovich.
259 00:18:26 Dad, please. He's practically five already. Don't force it.
260 00:18:34 Slow down, wuzzlelumplebum.
261 00:18:42 Twinkle, Twinkle, little star how I wonder
262 00:18:45 Mommy, I'm too old for lullabies.
263 00:18:48 What? That's not how that one goes.
264 00:18:50 This is the way most people sing it.
265 00:18:52 "Most people"? What's wrong with...
266 00:18:54 Suffer, suffer, scream in pain
267 00:18:57 Blood is spilling from your brain?
268 00:19:01 - Daddy. - Come on. You know how I sang it to you.
269 00:19:04 Zombies gnaw you like a plum
270 00:19:07 Piercing cries and you succumb
271 00:19:11 Suffer, suffer, scream in pain
272 00:19:15 You will never breathe again?
273 00:19:23 Still works.
274 00:19:47 Happy birthday, Wally, Wilson,
275 00:19:49 Whoopi, Waylon, Weepy and Wanye.
276 00:19:53 Denisovich! My big boy! You made it!
277 00:19:57 I thought about what you said, Dad.
278 00:19:59 Maybe I was being a little overprotective.
279 00:20:01 Thank you, coffin cake.
280 00:20:04 Dennis! I love you! Zing!
281 00:20:05 Hi, Winnie.
282 00:20:07 I just love your yummy strawberry locks! Zing, zing!
283 00:20:13 Winnie. Give him his space, hon. I'm sorry, Mavis.
284 00:20:17 It's okay, aunt Wanda. They're just playing.
285 00:20:20 Holy rabies! Limbo? I used to love that game!
286 00:20:24 Get in there, Mavey.
287 00:20:26 Really? But I'm a parent now.
288 00:20:27 Show 'em how it's done.
289 00:20:29 Okay. Okay, okay.
290 00:20:39 No way! A pinata?
291 00:20:44 Oh, Mavis, honey. That's for later.
292 00:20:48 We don't want the pups to have too much...
293 00:20:50 Candy!
294 00:20:55 Sugar.
295 00:21:04 I'm sorry. Did I start all that?
296 00:21:06 Don't worry. There's a reason they call it a litter.
297 00:21:20 Dennis! Are you okay?
298 00:21:22 I got a candy.
299 00:21:24 Look! Your tooth came out.
300 00:21:26 Are you kidding me? He got his tooth knocked out?
301 00:21:29 Oh, yes, indeed. Here comes the fang.
302 00:21:32 Dad. His baby tooth wasn't a fang. Why would this one be?
303 00:21:35 He's not a monster.
304 00:21:42 The sun's gonna come out soon, and we gotta get to his classes.
305 00:21:45 What's wrong with the classes we have here? Like the kids' yoga?
306 00:21:48 Yoga!
307 00:21:53 This is Denisovich's home.
308 00:21:55 I don't know, Dad.
309 00:21:56 What don't you know?
310 00:21:58 Well, we've been talking about moving.
311 00:22:01 Somewhere safer for Dennis.
312 00:22:04 Maybe where Johnny grew up in California.
313 00:22:07 I'm sorry, but you can't just make somebody something they're not.
314 00:22:13 Come on, honey. We have to go.
315 00:22:14 Zing, zing?
316 00:22:17 Mavey, wait. You can't mean that.
317 00:22:23 You're in on this? The leaving?
318 00:22:25 Uh... It's not definite at all.
319 00:22:28 It's just something she's definitely talking about,
320 00:22:29 but until we do it, it's not definitized.
321 00:22:35 Did he just cover me with birdseed?
322 00:22:37 Yeah, he covered me.
323 00:22:49 Dad, it's not a fang.
324 00:22:52 Dad, I don't know if it's the right place for Dennis.
325 00:22:55 Right, Johnny?
326 00:22:57 Oh, hey, dudeman. It's not me. It's Mavey.
327 00:23:00 Hey, dudeman. I'm afraid to say anything.
328 00:23:04 Hey, dudeman. I'm a dudeman!
329 00:23:06 Uh, Drac? Who you talkin' to?
330 00:23:09 Do not disturb. The count's wiggin' out in here.
331 00:23:12 What are you wiggin' out about, Drac?
332 00:23:14 The kids. Mavey wavey's saying she wants to leave.
333 00:23:17 She wants to leave? What about Johnny? He doesn't wanna go.
334 00:23:20 He's making the hotel more human-y for Dennis.
335 00:23:23 You know, seeing that he isn't a monster.
336 00:23:24 He is a monster!
337 00:23:26 He's just a late fanger.
338 00:23:28 And I could be a hand model.
339 00:23:30 Shut up! It's all that human-y stuff
340 00:23:32 that's confusing poor Denisovich.
341 00:23:36 So maybe you gotta get the kid around more monster-y things. Ooh!
342 00:23:39 Oh, I need a cape.
343 00:23:41 I can't. She's always around, checking up on me.
344 00:23:44 Man, if you could just get some alone time.
345 00:23:47 Wait a minute. That's what Johnny wants, too.
346 00:23:51 Alone time with Mavis.
347 00:23:56 Have they even had a vacation
348 00:23:57 since before they were married?
349 00:24:03 They're going to now. And so are we. Frank, you're a genius.
350 00:24:23 We'll take Denisovich to all our old haunts.
351 00:24:27 Each of us will show him our skills.
352 00:24:31 Teach him how to be a monster.
353 00:24:35 And he'll be fanging it up in no time.
354 00:24:38 Boy turns five next week.
355 00:24:40 If he's not a vampire by his birthday, it ain't happenin'.
356 00:24:43 Oh, it ain't ain't happening, baby.
357 00:24:45 All he needs is time with his vampa.
358 00:24:47 "Vampa"?
359 00:24:49 Vampire Grandpa.
360 00:24:50 Come on, man. That's obvious.
361 00:24:54 Johnny. Come outside.
362 00:24:57 What? Who is it?
363 00:24:59 It's your father-in-law. I need to talk to you.
364 00:25:03 What's up?
365 00:25:06 Let me get rid of them. Sorry.
366 00:25:09 No problem-o. I was kinda diggin' the attention.
367 00:25:14 Can they stay? I don't think they're ready to leave yet.
368 00:25:17 Come on. Go to your mother.
369 00:25:19 Look, you want to stay here, right?
370 00:25:20 Of course.
371 00:25:22 This is the first place where I can really be myself.
372 00:25:25 I haven't felt this alive since they invented stuffed-crust pizza.
373 00:25:28 Well, then, we've got some work to do. Okay, so here's the plan.
374 00:25:33 Maybe it's a good idea to take her to your hometown.
375 00:25:35 But remember...
376 00:25:37 So, it's sliced avocado, rolled oats with apricot,
377 00:25:40 the aveeno moisturizer after every bath.
378 00:25:43 And then the shea butter on his tush before his pjs
379 00:25:46 and then 20 minutes with the nebulizer
380 00:25:49 while I read his learning factory phonics book to him.
381 00:25:52 It's asking a lot, Dad. We could just take Dennis with us.
382 00:25:55 What? Are you kidding me? And get him off his routine?
383 00:25:58 No, no, no.
384 00:26:00 You kids go to California,
385 00:26:02 and see if it's the right place to raise Denisovich.
386 00:26:04 And you remember how to video chat?
387 00:26:06 Yes, yes. With the phone and the buttons and the agony.
388 00:26:09 Thanks for being so understanding, Dad. I know you'll keep him safe.
389 00:26:13 Of course, Mavey. Stake my heart and hope to die.
390 00:26:17 I'm just gonna miss him so much.
391 00:26:20 I love you, Dennis.
392 00:26:22 I love you, mommy.
393 00:26:24 I'll tell him Mavey Wavey stories every night before bed.
394 00:26:27 You're the best. I love you, Dad.
395 00:26:32 Gonna miss all you guys. You're all my family.
396 00:26:36 Love you, Drac.
397 00:26:38 Yes. I love you, too.
398 00:26:40 Now, remember the plan. Just keep her distracted and happy.
399 00:26:44 - But not too happy, capisce? - Got it.
400 00:26:47 Operation "just keep her distracted and happy,
401 00:26:49 "but not too happy, capisce," starts now. Cool?
402 00:26:52 Smiling on the outside.
403 00:26:54 Will you hug my backpack?
404 00:26:55 No.
405 00:27:03 Back to bed.
406 00:27:05 Ah, yes, we'll get to the bed. We all love the bed.
407 00:27:08 But we're just gonna do one thing first.
408 00:27:14 Is it shorts weather where we're going?
409 00:27:16 Jeez. I hope not. My body isn't swimsuit-ready yet.
410 00:27:19 Whatever. Where's Griffin?
411 00:27:21 Hey, can I have a second? I'm just saying goodbye to Emily.
412 00:27:23 Oh, brother.
413 00:27:25 I'm gonna miss you so much.
414 00:27:28 You know, you have to be strong, honey.
415 00:27:29 Because what we have is unbreakable.
416 00:27:33 Babe, don't cry. Everyone's looking.
417 00:27:36 Okay, I gotta call him on this.
418 00:27:38 Just let him play it out, get it over with.
419 00:27:41 Okay, you two lovebirds. Drink your champagne and let's get going.
420 00:27:45 Oh, yeah. No, sure. Okay.
421 00:27:48 Cheers, babe.
422 00:27:51 Oh. You klutz.
423 00:27:53 We can't say nothin' about this?
424 00:27:55 No. We don't have time for zingers.
425 00:28:05 How do you click in the stupid car seat?
426 00:28:09 You gotta cut those nails, man.
427 00:28:10 We just strap our kids down with duct tape.
428 00:28:17 What's he doing here?
429 00:28:19 I told him he could come. He's never been outside the hotel.
430 00:28:21 Blobby, there's no room. Sorry, man.
431 00:28:27 Yeah, that ain't happenin'.
432 00:28:29 Fine, put him on the rascal. Let's just get going.
433 00:28:46 Where are we going, Papa Drac?
434 00:28:49 Oh, Denisovich, we're going to have an adventure.
435 00:28:51 A monster-y adventure.
436 00:28:53 Yay! Monsters! We're gonna eat cake.
437 00:28:56 What did he say?
438 00:28:58 No. No cake on this monster trip.
439 00:29:01 No cake, cebause Kakie says, "too much cake makes tummy ache."
440 00:29:05 Yay!
441 00:29:06 "A monster always shares."
442 00:29:11 We may need more than a week.
443 00:29:13 Hey, you know who could fix the kid in a snap? Vlad.
444 00:29:16 What? We don't need to call Vlad. We got this.
445 00:29:20 You see, Denisovich, monsters are nice, just like you.
446 00:29:24 But when the moon comes out, the real monster fun begins.
447 00:29:30 Being scary. Right, guys?
448 00:29:36 Guys? Guys! What is wrong with you?
449 00:29:39 Come on. Everybody likes that song.
450 00:29:41 We're not everybody. We're scary monsters. Remember?
451 00:29:45 Hey, what are you putting in?
452 00:29:47 It's an audio book.
453 00:29:48 Bigfoot's life story. He reads it himself.
454 00:29:51 Chapter one.
455 00:30:26 This is gonna be so amazing.
456 00:30:29 Oh, yeah. You're gonna be so happy, but not too happy.
457 00:30:32 - Huh? - What?
458 00:30:33 I wanna see everything you did growing up.
459 00:30:36 As long as you're distracted, capisce?
460 00:30:40 We can hit a few spots on the way to my parents.
461 00:30:41 Lemme just quickly call home.
462 00:30:43 Ah! Don't do that.
463 00:30:45 It's only 1:00 A.M. there. Dennis isn't even up yet.
464 00:30:47 Right. I'm just not used to being away from him.
465 00:30:51 Everything's gonna be cool. Your Dad was so all over it.
466 00:30:53 I know. He's the best.
467 00:31:16 Right turn, here.
468 00:31:18 Denisovich, rise and shine.
469 00:31:22 Boys, this bringing back any memories?
470 00:31:24 We used to prowl around here when we were in our 100s.
471 00:31:28 The dark forest of Slobozia.
472 00:31:40 Nice how they built it up.
473 00:31:42 Okay, out of the car.
474 00:31:44 Denisovich, you're going to see
475 00:31:47 every monster do his specialty.
476 00:31:50 First, Frank's gonna show us how he scares people.
477 00:31:53 Yay! He's gonna say, "boo."
478 00:31:56 Yeah, I don't think "boos" ever work.
479 00:31:59 But that's why we're here. To learn from the master.
480 00:32:03 Okay, I'll give it a shot.
481 00:32:21 Yeah, guess it just depends on work.
482 00:32:24 Frankenstein!
483 00:32:26 Hey, how ya doin'?
484 00:32:28 You're awesome! Can we take a picture? Is that okay?
485 00:32:31 Sure, okay. Little selfie action.
486 00:32:35 For real?
487 00:32:36 Awesome! Thank you so much.
488 00:32:38 Hey, have a great day.
489 00:32:40 Boo!
490 00:32:41 Oh. He's adorable. He's adorable.
491 00:32:44 Adorable, yes.
492 00:32:46 Not scary, but "boo" is a start.
493 00:32:59 My birthday cake's gonna have the coolest guy on it.
494 00:33:02 Let me guess. Kakie.
495 00:33:05 No. He's so cool. He climbs walls and wears a cape.
496 00:33:08 Oh, really. And who is this very cool guy?
497 00:33:12 Batman!
498 00:33:13 Batman. Great.
499 00:33:15 You don't know anyone else with a cape that's cool?
500 00:33:18 This is good. Stop here.
501 00:33:26 Okay, Wayne. It's your turn. Go kill something.
502 00:33:29 Denisovich, watch this.
503 00:33:30 What?
504 00:33:31 I told you, come on.
505 00:33:33 If we don't inspire Denisovich,
506 00:33:35 how's he going to find his inner monster?
507 00:33:37 Who's in a monster?
508 00:33:38 Nobody, just...
509 00:33:40 Here, have an avocado.
510 00:33:42 Your mommy says it's a good fat.
511 00:33:44 Whatever the heaven that means.
512 00:33:46 Listen, I'm not gonna set monsters back again
513 00:33:48 just to make your grandkid like vampires.
514 00:33:51 Anyway, there's nothing to kill here. It's all been...
515 00:33:58 What a cutie.
516 00:34:00 But kill him.
517 00:34:01 Oh, great. You know I haven't done this in years.
518 00:34:05 We don't need to kill anymore. We have pop-tarts.
519 00:34:08 Denisovich, you're going to love this.
520 00:34:10 Wayne's going to eat that whole deer, and the next one's yours.
521 00:34:13 Wayne, go.
522 00:34:19 Oh, man. I'm too old for this.
523 00:34:21 Okay, how's it go again?
524 00:34:25 No, no, wait. That's for the moon.
525 00:34:27 Oh, I growl. Right, here goes.
526 00:34:31 Growl!
527 00:34:32 Get it, boy.
528 00:34:39 Get it, uncle Wayne.
529 00:34:43 Some werewolf. Did you actually say the word "growl?"
530 00:34:47 You're a werewussy.
531 00:34:48 I said I was rusty.
532 00:34:51 Gimme me that frisbee.
533 00:34:53 No! It's my frisbee! I fetched it!
534 00:34:55 Give it to me! Give it back!
535 00:34:56 - Give it over here! Give me that! - Give it back!
536 00:35:04 He's fine. He's Blobby.
537 00:35:09 This place is so amazing and scenic.
538 00:35:12 What do you wanna show me first?
539 00:35:13 Mmm. I don't know.
540 00:35:14 It's pretty, but there's really
541 00:35:16 nothing to do once it gets dark.
542 00:35:17 Wait. What's that place?
543 00:35:23 So, you're telling me that I can pick
544 00:35:25 between all these different kinds of chips?
545 00:35:28 Yes.
546 00:35:29 How do people decide?
547 00:35:33 Now what's that beautiful fountain of rubies?
548 00:35:37 Johnny, have you tried this slurpee?
549 00:35:39 Not that quickly, hon.
550 00:35:41 It comes in 48 flavors. We have to try them all.
551 00:35:48 Uh, I don't know if we have time.
552 00:35:49 Why? This place is open all night. Right, sir?
553 00:35:52 Yes.
554 00:35:58 Johnny, look.
555 00:35:59 They're making a TV show about this place and we're the stars.
556 00:36:02 Hello, world.
557 00:36:04 Awesome.
558 00:36:05 It's totally awesome. You're so lucky, Kal.
559 00:36:10 Hello, world.
560 00:36:15 Okay, Murray. Your turn.
561 00:36:18 Excuse us. Do you know where someone can get a bite around here?
562 00:36:22 Did you seriously just ask a vampire where to get a bite?
563 00:36:25 Oh, gosh. I didn't mean... We're not from around here.
564 00:36:28 This is so embarrassing. Just keep going.
565 00:36:30 Sorry to bother you. Love your chocolate cereal.
566 00:36:36 So, what do you want me to do now?
567 00:36:38 Denisovich, you won't believe it.
568 00:36:39 The mummy can crash through walls
569 00:36:42 and turn into a swarm of beetles
570 00:36:44 and put a curse on anyone.
571 00:36:46 That sounds mean.
572 00:36:47 It's fun mean. Okay.
573 00:36:49 So, check it out.
574 00:36:51 Murray's going to conjure up the biggest sandstorm you've ever seen.
575 00:36:55 Hit it!
576 00:36:57 Sandstorm? It's been awhile.
577 00:36:59 Not my problem. Do it. Say your little spell.
578 00:37:01 Okay.
579 00:37:04 I got this. Frank, Wayne, Griffin, just try not to faint.
580 00:37:28 Ow!
581 00:37:29 My back.
582 00:37:40 Oh. Wait.
583 00:37:47 How cute!
584 00:37:56 Wait. Stop at that playground. Look at these cute kids.
585 00:38:06 Holy rabies! This looks like a blast.
586 00:38:09 I don't know, Mavey.
587 00:38:11 This can be pretty dangerous if you don't know what you're doing.
588 00:38:13 Of course, I rock these bikes.
589 00:38:15 May I, little dude?
590 00:38:17 Check it out. Oh, yeah.
591 00:38:20 This is how I rolled every summer.
592 00:38:36 I think I scratched it.
593 00:38:39 My turn.
594 00:38:41 Mavey, I told you, it took me years to get this good.
595 00:38:44 Well, I'll give it a try.
596 00:39:25 You feel me now? That's my girlfriend, suckers.
597 00:39:28 Your wife, Johnny.
598 00:39:29 My wife. Even better.
599 00:39:31 That was sick, lady. Where did you learn how to do that stuff?
600 00:39:34 Transylvania.
601 00:39:36 That's cool. I have a cousin from Pennsylvania.
602 00:39:39 Oh. These little guys are so sweet. Dennis would love them.
603 00:39:43 What an awesome place to raise a kid.
604 00:39:45 Oh. To raise a kid?
605 00:39:47 I don't know about awesome.
606 00:39:49 Maybe tubular. Capisce?
607 00:39:52 Anyways, we should hit my folks' place.
608 00:39:53 I said we'd be there by now.
609 00:39:54 Sure.
610 00:39:56 Oh, hey, it's after 3:00 in Transylvania.
611 00:39:58 I'm gonna check on Dennis, okay?
612 00:40:05 Chocolate cereal. Are you kidding me?
613 00:40:08 It's okay, Drac. It's 'cause they love us.
614 00:40:10 Yeah. Monsters are what's goin' on.
615 00:40:13 Oh, yeah. You should embrace it like I did.
616 00:40:15 I've got a best-selling workout video.
617 00:40:17 Follow me, ladies. Right. And left.
618 00:40:19 No, girls. Watch me. You're not watching.
619 00:40:22 Here we go. And eight and seven and six...
620 00:40:25 That's not me, guys.
621 00:40:27 Come on, even bigfoot's tearin' it up in the German soccer league.
622 00:40:38 Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.
623 00:40:41 It's Mavis.
624 00:40:42 You gotta answer it.
625 00:40:44 You're pushin' too hard. Lighter.
626 00:40:46 All right!
627 00:40:48 Denisovich, wake up. Oh, boy, he's out cold.
628 00:40:51 I got this.
629 00:40:55 Dad, what took so long?
630 00:40:56 What?
631 00:40:57 Nothing, Mavey. We're all great here at the hotel.
632 00:41:01 Just doing hotel things.
633 00:41:03 Sorry, can't handle your breath.
634 00:41:04 I hear ya.
635 00:41:06 How are you?
636 00:41:07 We're having a blast.
637 00:41:09 We just went biking and mini-marting. It's so fun here.
638 00:41:13 Is Dennis okay?
639 00:41:14 Oh. Of course.
640 00:41:16 You want to see him?
641 00:41:17 Yes. Yes, I do.
642 00:41:19 Hi, baby. How are you?
643 00:41:21 Mommy.
644 00:41:22 I happy.
645 00:41:25 Hey, little dude.
646 00:41:27 Why is he wearing sunglasses?
647 00:41:28 Oh, we were playing.
648 00:41:30 It's a superhero thing.
649 00:41:33 Cebause, I'm sunglasses man, to the rescue!
650 00:41:37 - Okay, take it down a notch. - I'm flying.
651 00:41:38 You sound funny.
652 00:41:41 Oh, no, no, that's his sunglasses man voice.
653 00:41:44 Static. The signal is bad. Mavis, are you there?
654 00:41:48 Yeah, I'm still...
655 00:41:51 All right. I guess he's having fun.
656 00:41:53 Of course he is.
657 00:41:57 Wow, I nailed it with the sunglasses man.
658 00:42:00 Right off the top of my head.
659 00:42:01 I threw in a "cebause." Did everyone see that?
660 00:42:03 She said she was having fun. Johnny's blowing it.
661 00:42:06 She's biking and mini-marting. She's gonna wanna move!
662 00:42:09 I gotta fix this kid now. Are we almost there or what?
663 00:42:12 Okay, I may
664 00:42:14 have taken a wrong turn a few miles back.
665 00:42:16 - Don't get mad. - What?
666 00:42:20 Someone turn on the navigator on this thing.
667 00:42:22 Look how light I touch it.
668 00:42:24 Please enter your destination.
669 00:42:27 Please. I am begging you.
670 00:42:33 Yeah, this is gonna be good, Denisovich.
671 00:42:36 Scary stuff, okay? It's in you.
672 00:42:39 We just gotta concentrate on the scary.
673 00:42:42 Papa Drac? Do you miss Grandma?
674 00:42:45 Miss Grandma? Oh. Sure, I do.
675 00:42:47 I miss her every day. She was my zing.
676 00:42:53 Why do you ask?
677 00:42:54 I don't know.
678 00:42:56 Do you miss anybody?
679 00:42:58 I miss mommy and Daddy.
680 00:43:00 And who else? You miss that Winnie?
681 00:43:03 The pup who tackles you and tries to lick you all the time?
682 00:43:06 Yeah, but we're just friends.
683 00:43:08 Oh, no, no, no. You're a Dracula.
684 00:43:11 You can't just be friends with a cute, hairy number like Winnie.
685 00:43:15 Right turn, now! Here. You imbecile!
686 00:43:21 Oh, right. Turn, Griffin!
687 00:43:22 Yes, Papa Drac.
688 00:43:28 Wait and see, fellas. This kid'll be guzzling goat blood in no time.
689 00:43:33 You have arrived at your destination. Yes!
690 00:43:36 Yes! Here we are.
691 00:43:38 It's the vampire summer camp I went to as a kid.
692 00:43:41 What's it, camp vamp?
693 00:43:43 No. Who names their camp "camp vamp?"
694 00:43:45 It's camp Winnepacaca.
695 00:44:08 You see, Denisovich?
696 00:44:10 This is where I learned to catch mice and shapeshift.
697 00:44:14 And use my incredible powers and strength. It's pretty cool.Huh?
698 00:44:18 Badminton.
699 00:44:23 Yes, I don't remember this badminting.
700 00:44:26 Well, well, is this a night? How ya doin', folks?
701 00:44:29 I'm Dana, the director.
702 00:44:31 We're sure excited to have you legends visitin' us.
703 00:44:34 What can I do you for?
704 00:44:36 Well, I'm very interested in sending my grandboy, Denisovich, here.
705 00:44:41 Oh. This little redheaded, non-fangy little guy?
706 00:44:45 Oh, they're in there. He's a late fanger. That's why we came here.
707 00:44:49 Can you show us some of the drills,
708 00:44:51 like where they catch the mice?
709 00:44:53 Can do. A-course now we call it Tee-mousing.
710 00:45:07 So they don't have to catch the mice?
711 00:45:10 Nope. We find this is a good way to build their confidence.
712 00:45:15 Come here.
713 00:45:17 It's right there! What's the matter with you?
714 00:45:21 Hokey-pokey.
715 00:45:25 There it is, Denisovich. Where Papa learned to fly.
716 00:45:29 Ooh! I wanna fly like Papa.
717 00:45:37 Yeah. We're over here, now.
718 00:45:41 Had to scale it down. Insurance.
719 00:45:47 Help me. Help me. Help me.
720 00:45:49 Hokey-pokey. See ya at the campfire.
721 00:45:57 Well, gosh! Welcome, you two.
722 00:46:00 Hey, gang.
723 00:46:01 Hi, guys. This is so exciting.
724 00:46:04 Ah! Look at all of this. So cool.
725 00:46:08 Wow! I can't believe I'm actually here.
726 00:46:11 Well, you are.
727 00:46:12 Now, how does it work? Are you up all night and sleep all day?
728 00:46:15 Yeah.
729 00:46:17 Oh. I'll do whatever you guys want.
730 00:46:18 Good.
731 00:46:19 - 'Cause I bought this pretty sunhat for you. - Linda.
732 00:46:22 But otherwise this poncho, if you wanna be safe.
733 00:46:24 We can deal with it later, Linda.
734 00:46:26 Okay.
735 00:46:27 Oh! Come see.
736 00:46:30 I've set up your bedroom.
737 00:46:35 It's just like Transylvania.
738 00:46:39 Oh, Transylvania. That was a fun experience.
739 00:46:42 Mike was afraid he'd get disemboweled and eaten,
740 00:46:44 but I told him he was just being silly.
741 00:46:46 That was you, Linda.
742 00:46:48 Oh. There they are.
743 00:46:50 You know, we have a couple of mixed families in the neighborhood,
744 00:46:53 so I thought I'd invite them over.
745 00:46:55 They might be nice for you guys to talk to
746 00:46:57 since you're thinkin' about moving here.
747 00:47:01 Hi, Caren. Hi, Pandragora.
748 00:47:03 - Welcome, Mavis. - Hey, guys.
749 00:47:06 Yeah, you're gonna dig it here. Don't even worry.
750 00:47:09 People are totally cool with our lifestyle choice.
751 00:47:13 I mean, the kids get picked on a little,
752 00:47:14 but it toughens them up.
753 00:47:16 Oh, hey, you guys. And this is Loretta.
754 00:47:18 She's married to Paul, who's a werewolf.
755 00:47:20 Excuse me?
756 00:47:22 Yes, I was telling Mavis about the other monster-human couples in town.
757 00:47:25 I am not a werewolf.
758 00:47:27 Oh. I thought...
759 00:47:30 Well, you're welcome to stay and have some cupcakes.
760 00:47:36 # Vampires will be friends forever#
761 00:47:40 # Through the centuries together#
762 00:47:44 # Even in the brightest sunny weather#
763 00:47:49 # Vampires will be friends forever#
764 00:47:53 # Literally#
765 00:47:57 # Forever#
766 00:48:04 great job, vampires. Give yourselves a hug.
767 00:48:13 We're going.
768 00:48:14 What? Where?
769 00:48:21 Why are we doing this?
770 00:48:23 You'd rather be listening to those putrid new songs?
771 00:48:25 What happened to Michael row your corpse ashore?
772 00:48:28 Or old mcwerewolf had an axe?
773 00:48:35 We shouldn't be up here, Drac.
774 00:48:37 Who's ready to fly?
775 00:48:39 Me! Me! Like a superhero.
776 00:48:42 Better! Like a vampire!
777 00:48:44 This thing is rickety.
778 00:48:46 You know what? Maybe the kid isn't supposed to fly.
779 00:48:49 Quiet. This is how they learn. You throw them and they figure it out.
780 00:48:53 It's how I was taught.
781 00:48:55 I wanna fly now!
782 00:48:56 Attabat. You know Papa's right here if you need him.
783 00:49:00 Uh. I can't watch this.
784 00:49:01 Please don't.
785 00:49:03 Here we go!
786 00:49:11 He's still not flying.
787 00:49:13 He will.
788 00:49:15 Still not.
789 00:49:17 It'll happen.
790 00:49:19 This is a tall tower.
791 00:49:20 That's why it's good.
792 00:49:22 You should get him.
793 00:49:23 He's gonna fall to his death.
794 00:49:24 He's taking his time.
795 00:49:28 Drac!
796 00:49:29 I did that my first time.
797 00:49:31 He's getting too close to the ground!
798 00:49:34 You know what? He's not gonna fly.
799 00:49:46 I told you. Papa's always here for you.
800 00:49:49 Again! Again!
801 00:49:52 Oh, dear. Oh, my devil. We're gonna have to report this.
802 00:49:54 You mean to the papers?
803 00:49:56 I guess it was pretty cool, but I'm not about getting press.
804 00:49:59 No, sir. I mean the authorities.
805 00:50:02 I can't not report child endangerment.
806 00:50:04 Whoa! Listen to me. That was fun.
807 00:50:07 Your singing is child endangerment.
808 00:50:10 Should we go down and help him?
809 00:50:12 Nope. I told him this was nuts. He's on his own.
810 00:50:15 We have to call the boy's mother.
811 00:50:16 No, that ain't happening.
812 00:50:18 His mother's already nutsy koo koo!
813 00:50:20 I have to follow protocol.
814 00:50:23 You will not follow protocol.
815 00:50:27 I'm a vampire. I can't be hypnotized.
816 00:50:29 Right.
817 00:50:31 Now, please. Don't make me call the police.
818 00:50:33 No one's calling nobody!
819 00:50:38 Fire!
820 00:50:40 Stop, drop and roll. Stop, drop and roll.
821 00:50:43 Screaming's not helping!
822 00:50:53 Are we bad guys, Papa Drac?
823 00:50:55 Bad?
824 00:50:58 No. You're the best kid in the world.
825 00:51:01 We didn't start the fire. It was the tower.
826 00:51:04 That's a very unsafe tower. You're lucky we don't call the authorities.
827 00:51:09 Let's go, my hero.
828 00:51:10 Cebause I'm Batman! To the Batmobile!
829 00:51:13 Yes. To the...
830 00:51:26 Sorry about all that stuff. I guess they thought you'd like it.
831 00:51:29 Why do I feel so weird here?
832 00:51:31 No, hon. They're being weird.
833 00:51:33 I think they're just trying to help me.
834 00:51:36 I mean, I grew up knowing nothing living inside that hotel.
835 00:51:39 And you learned about everything growing up in Santa Claus.
836 00:51:42 Santa Cruz. But, uh...
837 00:51:45 Maybe if Dennis grows up away from Transylvania,
838 00:51:48 he won't be so freaky. Like me.
839 00:51:52 Are you nuts? Mavis, you're a blast.
840 00:51:55 You're so full of life and curious about everything.
841 00:51:58 If Dennis grows up to be just like you,
842 00:52:00 I'll be the luckiest Dad in the world.
843 00:52:03 I love you, Johnnystein.
844 00:52:06 You know what?
845 00:52:07 As long as we're all together, we'll be happy anywhere.
846 00:52:10 Even at the hotel.
847 00:52:13 Yes!
848 00:52:17 What are you doing?
849 00:52:18 Check out this video my friend sent me.
850 00:52:21 This kid is an awesome daredevil.
851 00:52:25 Oh, dude!
852 00:52:26 Did you get it?
853 00:52:27 Wait! Is that Dennis?
854 00:52:29 No! Is it? No. It's just hard to see. But...
855 00:52:33 Oops. Just deleted it. So, it's gone.
856 00:52:46 What? It's Mavis. I'm not answering it.
857 00:52:50 Come on, Drac. You have to.
858 00:52:55 All right!
859 00:52:57 Yes, honeybunch.
860 00:52:58 Dad? Where are you?
861 00:53:00 Um... we're outside the hotel having a little cookout.
862 00:53:04 It's perfectly safe.
863 00:53:06 What's that noise? Is that a siren?
864 00:53:07 Oh, those are just some wailing banshees checking in.
865 00:53:11 Quiet, you banshees.
866 00:53:12 We're trying to have a perfectly safe cookout over here.
867 00:53:15 Mommy! I wanna say hi! Mommy! Mommy!
868 00:53:19 Papa Drac just tried to teach me how to fly.
869 00:53:20 Wait a minute. Is that the mother?
870 00:53:22 Oh, no. Static again.
871 00:53:25 I am coming back to the hotel right now.
872 00:53:27 And you better be there or I swear, Dad, you're gonna be very sorry.
873 00:53:32 What's goin' on?
874 00:53:34 We need to get home right away.
875 00:53:37 Okay. I'll go wake up my backpack.
876 00:53:40 Guys, we gotta move.
877 00:53:42 We got no car! How we gonna get out of here?
878 00:53:44 Don't worry. I made a call.
879 00:53:55 I'm sorry, Blobby. We really meant to call you sooner.
880 00:54:05 Hit it!
881 00:54:21 Transylvania.
882 00:54:22 You want to go where?
883 00:54:24 Transylvania. As soon as possible.
884 00:54:25 We don't fly direct to Transylvania.
885 00:54:27 You don't?
886 00:54:29 You can go to Bucharest, but you'll have to
887 00:54:31 switch planes in Chicago and then Zurich.
888 00:54:33 So, when would we get there?
889 00:54:35 Well, the Chicago flight's delayed due to bad weather.
890 00:54:43 So, two seats in coach?
891 00:54:45 No!
892 00:54:47 - No! - Yes.
893 00:55:08 You have to go now? When we finally have no traffic.
894 00:55:11 You're killing me, Blobby.
895 00:55:23 I still have some cloud on me. Gotta do a selfie!
896 00:55:26 Johnny! Not now!
897 00:55:28 Okay. Maybe later.
898 00:55:35 This scooter thing's out of juice. We're never gonna make it.
899 00:55:38 Frank, blow.
900 00:55:48 Now!
901 00:56:12 How fun is this? Why are you laughing? You like that?
902 00:56:16 Watch this.
903 00:56:19 Coochie-coochie-coochie-coo!
904 00:56:29 Now this is flying, Denisovich.
905 00:56:31 Like a vampire.
906 00:56:37 That's my boy. Look at you go.
907 00:56:48 You're the coolest guy who wears a cape, Papa Drac.
908 00:57:20 So, hey, when are you going to get here already?
909 00:57:23 We've been waiting...
910 00:57:27 Give me my son.
911 00:57:29 We just went out for some avocados.
912 00:57:31 Mommy! I flew!
913 00:57:33 I saw.
914 00:57:35 # Mother's already nutsy koo koo#
915 00:57:37 # Nutsy koo koo#
916 00:57:39 # Koo koo. Oh, dear. Oh, dear#
917 00:57:41 # Oh, my devil I have to follow protocol#
918 00:57:43 # That ain't happening that ain't happening#
919 00:57:45 # Mother's already#
920 00:57:46 # Koo koo#
921 00:57:48 # Koo koo#
922 00:57:57 I was worried Dennis wasn't safe around other monsters.
923 00:58:01 Now I don't even feel like he's safe around you.
924 00:58:04 But I was just...
925 00:58:05 What was it you said?
926 00:58:06 Human, monster, unicorn. That it didn't matter?
927 00:58:10 Well, I just know his life would...
928 00:58:12 We'll have his birthday party here on Wednesday.
929 00:58:15 Then we're moving.
930 00:58:17 Please, Mavey. Don't leave.
931 00:58:19 Maybe you've let humans into your hotel, Dad.
932 00:58:23 But I don't think you've let them into your heart.
933 00:59:09 I can do it. I can do it.
934 00:59:13 I'm a bat. I'm a bat.
935 00:59:16 I'm a bat. I'm a bat. I'm a bat!
936 00:59:18 Dennis? What are you doing, sweetie?
937 00:59:20 Uh... nothing.
938 00:59:22 Careful. Let me help you down from there.
939 00:59:25 Are you getting excited about your big party?
940 00:59:27 I guess so.
941 00:59:29 You know who's coming? Daddy's whole family.
942 00:59:32 Grandpa Mike and Grandma Linda.
943 00:59:34 All your cousins and aunts and uncles who love you so much.
944 00:59:38 And then they're gonna be with us when we move to California.
945 00:59:42 Mommy, are we going away cebause I'm not a monster?
946 00:59:47 What? No. Dennis, of course not.
947 00:59:51 It's just grown-up stuff.
948 00:59:53 Okay. But what about Papa Drac?
949 00:59:56 He's gonna be here all alone.
950 00:59:58 Papa Drac has to stay here to run the hotel.
951 01:00:01 But he'll visit us. And we'll visit him.
952 01:00:04 Can we call him every night?
953 01:00:06 Sure.
954 01:00:13 Awesome!
955 01:00:14 Hello. We're here.
956 01:00:18 The night brings Johnny's family here
957 01:00:24 To take away all that Drac holds dear?
958 01:00:29 Welcome, welcome.
959 01:00:30 Hide your feelings
960 01:00:32 Keep them all inside
961 01:00:43 Dude, why do you wanna leave? This place is out of control.
962 01:00:46 I don't wanna leave.
963 01:00:47 All these awesome freakazoids!
964 01:00:49 So, who's the coolest monster?
965 01:00:51 Kakie.
966 01:00:52 Kakie.
967 01:00:54 Kakie. What a wussbag.
968 01:00:56 Isn't it nice to have the whole family together?
969 01:01:00 Mavis, do you have any cousins or thingies in your family?
970 01:01:04 No. It's just been me and Dad.
971 01:01:06 I never did ask how you lost your Mom.
972 01:01:09 Oh. She was killed by angry humans.
973 01:01:12 Awkward
974 01:01:15 but there is my Grandpa Vlad.
975 01:01:17 Oh, you have a Grandpa?
976 01:01:19 Yeah. He'll be at the party. I invited him.
977 01:01:22 You invited him?
978 01:01:24 Dad, he's never seen Dennis. I wanted them to meet once before we go.
979 01:01:28 Sure. Great. Peachy. Good old Vlad.
980 01:01:32 Anybody have a wet wipe?
981 01:01:52 Holy rabies. He finally invites me to something.
982 01:01:56 He's got a Grandkid?
983 01:01:58 And he never told you?
984 01:02:00 Easy, Bela. At least there's another vampire in the family.
985 01:02:04 It's at a hotel? Fancy schmancy.
986 01:02:07 Hotels are for humans!
987 01:02:15 Bela, shut your blood hole. Look what you started.
988 01:02:18 Don't worry, gang.
989 01:02:20 I raised my son to hate and kill and steal the souls of humans
990 01:02:23 like a good boy.
991 01:02:25 Yes, Grandpa Vlad will be so happy
992 01:02:29 when he sees the big masquerade party Johnny and I have planned.
993 01:02:33 What?
994 01:02:38 Play along. It's my Dad.
995 01:02:39 You have a Dad? That's funny.
996 01:02:41 Listen to me. My Dad cannot know you're a human.
997 01:02:44 Or any of your family.
998 01:02:46 What? But, Drac, I'm proud that we're...
999 01:02:48 Or he'll steal your family's souls and eat your backpack.
1000 01:02:54 That's right, gang.
1001 01:02:55 We're gonna make the birthday a monster masquerade party.
1002 01:02:59 - Really? - Oh, that's lovely.
1003 01:03:02 Sort of like a last hurrah before Dennis gets to be with normal people.
1004 01:03:06 I couldn't have said it better.
1005 01:03:28 What do you think, Mavis?
1006 01:03:29 I think I'm starting to like being creepy.
1007 01:03:37 You're lucky we don't call the authorities.
1008 01:03:39 Let's go, my hero.
1009 01:03:41 Cebause I'm Batman!
1010 01:03:44 Yes! To the Batmobile!
1011 01:03:52 Got your butt kicked by a girl, Batman.
1012 01:03:56 Yeah. Whatever. I'm not about to cry.
1013 01:04:03 Hotel Transylvania.
1014 01:04:06 I smell humans!
1015 01:04:09 Tear it down!
1016 01:04:12 Bela, we're in the outside world. You're gonna smell humans.
1017 01:04:17 You know what? Just wait outside for me. This is family stuff.
1018 01:04:21 You'll only get in the way.
1019 01:04:22 I just wanna meet the little fanger.
1020 01:04:24 He should know his great-vampa.
1021 01:04:26 His what?
1022 01:04:28 Vampire Grandpa. Come on. That was obvious.
1023 01:04:33 Amazing party!
1024 01:04:35 So, what do you think?
1025 01:04:38 This is your vampire costume? What are you, nuts?
1026 01:04:40 I ordered it online.
1027 01:04:42 It was the only place that delivered overnight.
1028 01:04:44 You look like you got a baboon's butt on your head.
1029 01:04:46 Have you at least practiced your voice?
1030 01:04:48 You can't just talk like a hippie.
1031 01:04:51 I'm not a hippie. I'm a slacker.
1032 01:04:52 Talk like a vampire.
1033 01:04:55 My name is Count Jonafang. I am a vampire.
1034 01:05:00 Okay, vampires don't go around saying, "I am a vampire."
1035 01:05:04 Sorry. I am Count Jonafang. Bleh, bleh-bleh.
1036 01:05:08 Are you kidding me?
1037 01:05:10 I'm sorry. I'm nervous.
1038 01:05:11 Yeah, listen, if you think I don't like it,
1039 01:05:14 you definitely don't want to say,
1040 01:05:16 "bleh, bleh-bleh," in front of my father.
1041 01:05:17 Sir, Master Kakie has arrived.
1042 01:05:21 Drac, this is Brandon, A.K.A. Kakie.
1043 01:05:24 - We got him for Dennis. - Hey, man.
1044 01:05:26 Nauseated to meet you.
1045 01:05:28 When does this happen? I got a book fair in half an hour.
1046 01:05:34 All right. Where's my vampson?
1047 01:05:39 Oh, please. Still has to make a dramatic entrance.
1048 01:05:42 Dad! Look at you!
1049 01:05:45 So you run a hotel now?
1050 01:05:47 From prince of darkness to king of room service.
1051 01:05:51 Yes. So good to see you.
1052 01:05:53 I'll be right with you.
1053 01:06:01 Keep Vlad away from the humans and Mavis.
1054 01:06:04 I'm on it.
1055 01:06:06 Oh, now that is a neat costume.
1056 01:06:10 These two smell funny.
1057 01:06:12 Oh, you're European.
1058 01:06:14 It's called deodorant.
1059 01:06:17 Nothing like insulting an entire continent, Linda.
1060 01:06:20 Hey, count! How goes it? Frankenstein.
1061 01:06:22 Actually, I'm technically Frankenstein's monster.
1062 01:06:24 Frankenstein, he's the doctor who...
1063 01:06:26 Would love to hear more. Call my people.
1064 01:06:29 So, let me introduce you to some of your son's other buddies.
1065 01:06:32 This is Murray.
1066 01:06:34 Please don't kill me!
1067 01:06:36 I mean, yo, v! What's up?
1068 01:06:39 Talking toilet paper. Well, that's a new one.
1069 01:06:43 All right! Where's the kid? That's who I wanna meet.
1070 01:06:45 Johnny!
1071 01:06:49 This is Dracula's son-in-law.
1072 01:06:52 I am Count Jonafang.
1073 01:06:56 Bleh, bleh, black sheep.
1074 01:06:59 Have you any wool?
1075 01:07:02 What's that thing on your head?
1076 01:07:04 Looks like my Grandmother's boobies.
1077 01:07:09 Daddy, who's the man with the funny face?
1078 01:07:11 Is this the kid?
1079 01:07:12 It sure is.
1080 01:07:13 Let me see those fangs.
1081 01:07:15 What are you doin'?
1082 01:07:16 Oh, I just love him so much.
1083 01:07:18 I want to hug him right in the fangs that he has.
1084 01:07:23 I repeat, lemme see those fangs.
1085 01:07:36 Oh, he's a late fanger, just like you.
1086 01:07:40 Yes. Yes. Just like me.
1087 01:07:44 The big shot here was a little crybaby, all right.
1088 01:07:47 Yes, yes, I was.
1089 01:07:48 Used to pee in his bed.
1090 01:07:49 Okay, Dad.
1091 01:07:51 We just need to scare the fangs out of the kid.
1092 01:07:54 Hare ha hangs?
1093 01:07:55 Yeah, it's what I did for Mr. tough guy here.
1094 01:07:58 First, you've got to possess something
1095 01:08:01 the late fanger finds sweet and innocent.
1096 01:08:03 Then you show them what's what and...
1097 01:08:05 Pop!
1098 01:08:07 Trust me. It'll scare the fangs right out. Right, Drac?
1099 01:08:11 Seriously, guys, if I'm late for the book fair, I'll miss the street fair.
1100 01:08:15 That's your guy.
1101 01:08:18 Possessed? But Dennis will be so upset.
1102 01:08:21 Don't you get it? This is our ticket.
1103 01:08:23 If it works for Denisovich, boom! He's a vampire.
1104 01:08:26 And you all get to stay here.
1105 01:08:28 All right. All right.
1106 01:08:30 - Capisce. - Good call.
1107 01:08:32 Kids, everyone, have a seat.
1108 01:08:35 Dennis has a big surprise for you.
1109 01:08:38 The one and only Kakie, the cake monster!
1110 01:08:42 Hey, kids! It's me, Kakie!
1111 01:08:46 What a wonderful Kakie day it is!
1112 01:08:50 Now, I have a question. Who here loves cake?
1113 01:08:59 Rise!
1114 01:09:09 Why am I floating? Can I have the stage manager, please?
1115 01:09:11 This isn't working for me.
1116 01:09:20 Scary, Denisovich? You feeling anything? Any change?
1117 01:09:23 Is Kakie okay?
1118 01:09:27 I want all the cake. Sharing is for cowards.
1119 01:09:33 I don't remember any of this from the TV show.
1120 01:09:37 Um... I think I saw it on a blu-ray disc, bonus stuff.
1121 01:09:40 Wait, why is Grandpa Vlad up there?
1122 01:09:48 I'm scared, Papa. What's happening to Kakie?
1123 01:09:56 You don't eat cake. Cake eat you!
1124 01:09:59 No!
1125 01:10:01 Stop it!
1126 01:10:05 What just happened, man? I'm outta here.
1127 01:10:08 None of these parents better review this on yelp.
1128 01:10:12 Hey, what did you just do?
1129 01:10:13 A few more seconds and the kid's fangs would have popped right out.
1130 01:10:16 I don't care. It's not worth it.
1131 01:10:18 What's not worth it?
1132 01:10:20 It was my last attempt to make the boy a vampire, so you'd stay.
1133 01:10:23 By ruining his favorite thing? How could you do that?
1134 01:10:26 We were desperate.
1135 01:10:27 You were in on this?
1136 01:10:29 Dennis won't be happy in my town.
1137 01:10:31 Dennis hasn't been there.
1138 01:10:33 Now husband and wife
1139 01:10:35 Feel the strain and the strife
1140 01:10:37 Shut up!
1141 01:10:39 Johnny, Dennis is not a monster.
1142 01:10:42 He likes avocado.
1143 01:10:45 'Cause you don't let him eat anything fun.
1144 01:10:46 I think Dennis just wants to be normal.
1145 01:10:48 Can we stop using the word "normal"?
1146 01:10:51 Where we live now, he's normal.
1147 01:10:53 He is who he is. And you can't change him, Dad.
1148 01:11:00 Dennis, where are you going?
1149 01:11:01 Away.
1150 01:11:04 But it's not safe out here by yourself.
1151 01:11:07 I know a place where we can hide. Follow me.
1152 01:11:16 If you didn't stop me,
1153 01:11:18 my great-grandson wouldn't have to be a wimp his whole life
1154 01:11:21 like schlumpy over here.
1155 01:11:23 - A wimp? - Johnny, be cool.
1156 01:11:25 You wanna throw down, old man?
1157 01:11:27 Certified yellow belt since 1997.
1158 01:11:28 No!
1159 01:11:31 What's this now? You're not a vampire?
1160 01:11:33 Bleh?
1161 01:11:35 Of course he's human. He's our son. You think we're monsters?
1162 01:11:43 You! You let your daughter marry a human and have a human kid?
1163 01:11:48 Why don't you just put a stake through my heart.
1164 01:11:51 We don't hate humans anymore, and they don't hate us.
1165 01:11:58 Humans?
1166 01:12:01 You're a fool.
1167 01:12:03 Your great-grandson is the sweetest, kindest,
1168 01:12:06 most special boy I've ever met.
1169 01:12:09 And if you can't give him the love
1170 01:12:11 he deserves because he's half-human,
1171 01:12:12 then you're the fool.
1172 01:12:15 Oh, Daddy.
1173 01:12:19 Hey, where is Dennis? Dennis!
1174 01:12:21 Dennis?
1175 01:12:26 Happy birthday, Dennis. I made you a treat.
1176 01:12:29 - Dead pigeon? - Enjoy it.
1177 01:12:31 'Cause once I graduate business school and start running a company,
1178 01:12:34 you're not gonna get home-cooked meals like this anymore.
1179 01:12:37 I have to move away, winnie. To California.
1180 01:12:40 My mommy thinks I'm not happy here
1181 01:12:43 cebause I don't have hair on my face like you.
1182 01:12:46 I'm sorry I'm not a monster.
1183 01:12:48 No, you are perfect. You're the nicest boy I know.
1184 01:12:51 And I have 300 brothers.
1185 01:12:53 You're nice, too, winnie.
1186 01:13:00 Well, well, well. The little human and his pet.
1187 01:13:05 - Dennis! - Denisovich!
1188 01:13:07 He's not in the room.
1189 01:13:08 He's not by the pool.
1190 01:13:10 He's not in this pot of soup.
1191 01:13:12 Where could he be?
1192 01:13:14 I don't know why I ever invited you.
1193 01:13:17 Dennis! Dennis!
1194 01:13:18 Denisovich!
1195 01:13:19 Dennis!
1196 01:13:33 Stop squirming.
1197 01:13:35 Why are you doing this?
1198 01:13:37 Because this is wrong.
1199 01:13:39 Why doesn't anybody get that?
1200 01:13:41 Humans don't belong with monsters.
1201 01:13:44 You're wrong!
1202 01:13:46 I am not!
1203 01:13:47 I am holding you hostage.
1204 01:13:50 And me and my crew are gonna tear that human-hugging hotel to shreds.
1205 01:13:55 You can't.
1206 01:13:57 Really? Why not?
1207 01:13:58 Cebause...
1208 01:14:00 Cebause, why?
1209 01:14:02 Cebause it will make Papa Drac sad.
1210 01:14:05 Ooh... sad. And what are you gonna do about it?
1211 01:14:09 I don't know.
1212 01:14:11 You know why you don't know?
1213 01:14:13 Cebause you're just a weak little boy.
1214 01:14:48 What was that?
1215 01:14:49 Dennis, we're coming.
1216 01:14:52 Are you okay, winnie?
1217 01:14:54 Yes, my zing.
1218 01:15:32 Dennis! There he is, right there.
1219 01:15:33 Dennis! Baby!
1220 01:15:35 My big boy!
1221 01:15:36 Dennis, we were lookin' for ya.
1222 01:15:37 Sweetheart.
1223 01:15:39 I'm so happy to see you.
1224 01:15:44 There's his mean friends.
1225 01:15:52 Oh... this'll be fun.
1226 01:16:55 I didn't do that.
1227 01:17:08 You rock, Dennis.
1228 01:17:09 He means Denisovich.
1229 01:17:11 Kakie rules!
1230 01:17:23 Dennis, I'm coming. Whoa...
1231 01:17:29 I knew all that practice would pay off.
1232 01:17:55 That's right, you better fly away.
1233 01:17:59 Papa Drac, I'm a vampire and a superhero.
1234 01:18:03 Am I cool now?
1235 01:18:05 "Now"? Dennis, you were always cool.
1236 01:18:08 Human, vampire, unicorn, you're perfect no matter what.
1237 01:18:13 But since I'm a vampire, can we stay here?
1238 01:18:17 Yes.
1239 01:18:19 All right! Yeah!
1240 01:18:20 All right!
1241 01:18:23 But you have to know, we're going to visit you here every holiday.
1242 01:18:27 - That's fine. - That's fine.
1243 01:18:45 Don't ever come near me or my family again.
1244 01:18:53 No!
1245 01:19:03 Daddy, you just saved a human.
1246 01:19:07 All this pressure about
1247 01:19:09 when the boy's fangs were coming out.
1248 01:19:12 Who cares? Mine came out years ago! Look.
1249 01:19:17 Okay, Dad, put 'em back in before we all barf.
1250 01:19:20 Hey! Isn't it still somebody's birthday?
1251 01:20:20 Let me hear you sing!
1252 01:20:24 I didn't do that.
