别惹德州 (Hot Pursuit )(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:00:50 All right, baby girl, you ready for your first day at work with Daddy?
2 00:00:57 -Daddy, go fast! -Huh. Okay!
3 00:01:02 -Happy Halloween! -Happy Halloween to you, too, Officer Cooper.
4 00:01:14 Yes!
5 00:01:16 Where'd that scumbag come from?
6 00:01:19 We're gonna have to move quick.
7 00:01:21 -10-24: bomb threat. -10-24: bomb threat.
8 00:01:24 -10-71: shooting. -10-71: shooting.
9 00:01:31 He doesn't smell like Santa.
10 00:01:37 You're so pretty.
11 00:01:39 Oh, thanks, baby, you are too.
12 00:01:54 -Thanks, Daddy. -Have fun.
13 00:01:59 Uh, I'll have her back by 10:00.
14 00:02:04 8:30? 8:00.
15 00:02:06 I'll have her back by 8:00.
16 00:02:17 All units respond to a 10-15.
17 00:02:19 Copy that. Noise disturbance.
18 00:02:28 Freeze! Police!
19 00:02:37 Oh, my God!
20 00:02:39 Police officer coming through! Get out of the way! Move your vehicle!
21 00:02:45 Get back in your car, sir! Get back in your vehicle.
22 00:02:51 Oh.
23 00:02:53 -What do you think you're doing? -Aah! I can explain.
24 00:02:56 I know it's not cool to leave in the middle of a...
25 00:02:58 Date. It was a first date.
26 00:03:00 And, honestly, I expected more out of a guy I met on Christian Mingle.
27 00:03:04 It's just that... Don't take this the wrong way. You're kind of intense.
28 00:03:07 Intense? Intense how?
29 00:03:09 When I said I had to leave early, you pulled your gun out on the table.
30 00:03:13 No, no. I was doing a thing like:
31 00:03:15 "Don't you walk away until I get a second date."
32 00:03:18 -It was supposed to be funny. -It really wasn't.
33 00:03:21 I was just chasing you because you forgot your wallet.
34 00:03:23 Okay. Thanks.
35 00:03:25 -I'm gonna walk back to my car now. -All right.
36 00:03:28 -Bye! -Bye.
37 00:03:30 Hey. You forgot to pay your bill.
38 00:03:32 Dang it!
39 00:03:34 I really thought this one was gonna work out.
40 00:03:37 News out of Texas: A huge break...
41 00:03:40 ...in the case against notorious cartel leader Vicente Cortez.
42 00:03:43 Sources say a cartel insider...
43 00:03:45 ...is prepared to testify against the violent crime lord.
44 00:03:48 I will be out in a few hours.
45 00:03:51 I will never miss my daughter's birthday.
46 00:03:53 Cortez is suspected of more than 100 murders
47 00:03:56 while dominating the U.S. drug trade.
48 00:03:58 Law enforcement officials have called him "untouchable" until now.
49 00:04:03 Since when is it illegal to dance naked...
50 00:04:05 -...on my own street? -Shut up!
51 00:04:06 -Hey, Coop. -Oh, no. Hold on.
52 00:04:08 -I don't have time for this. -Wait a second. Slow down.
53 00:04:11 My legs are shorter than yours.
54 00:04:13 Detective Hauser, come back. You know protocol.
55 00:04:15 All evidence has to be submitted in a proper-size Nolan envelope.
56 00:04:20 This is dangerous and could hurt someone.
57 00:04:22 You encounter a lot of danger here, Coop?
58 00:04:24 As a matter of fact, I do. The other day they brought in a duffle bag.
59 00:04:27 I opened it, there was a live raccoon in there. It could've had rabies.
60 00:04:31 Or it could've had worse.
61 00:04:33 Raccoon herpes.
62 00:04:35 That's real contagious.
63 00:04:36 How does it feel?
64 00:04:38 I imagine a burning sensation in the little guy's genital region.
65 00:04:41 Officer Cooper, report to Captain Emmett's office.
66 00:04:45 Sorry, boys. I'd like to keep talking with y'all, but the captain needs me.
67 00:04:49 Watch your head, detective.
68 00:04:51 I was gonna say, "How does it feel being a glorified secretary?"
69 00:05:06 Cooper, this is Deputy U.S. Marshal Jackson, in from Dallas.
70 00:05:10 All due respect, Captain Emmett,
71 00:05:11 I know exactly who Deputy Marshal Jackson is.
72 00:05:13 -It's an honor to meet you, sir. -Thank you.
73 00:05:16 What I'm about to say cannot leave this room.
74 00:05:18 -Okay? -Yes, sir.
75 00:05:20 Do you know who Felipe Riva is?
76 00:05:22 Yes. He is the top lieutenant in the Cortez cartel.
77 00:05:25 Since 1989,
78 00:05:27 he's responsible for all their "finances, " a.k.a., money laundering.
79 00:05:29 He is known as The Bank of Bogota?, The Tender Tender...
80 00:05:32 ...The Lender Lender, The Money Launderer, El Chapo,
81 00:05:34 The Pork Chop, La Chalupa...
82 00:05:35 Okay. Okay, okay.
83 00:05:37 Riva and his wife are gonna testify against Cortez.
84 00:05:40 But Cortez has killed every potential witness we've had.
85 00:05:44 Which is why only the three of us can know this.
86 00:05:46 He has people on his payroll everywhere.
87 00:05:48 Now, tomorrow morning, Deputy Jackson is gonna escort Riva to Dallas...
88 00:05:52 ...so he can testify the following morning at 8:00 a.m.
89 00:05:55 And you...
90 00:05:58 -...are gonna go with him. -Me?
91 00:06:01 Uh-huh.
92 00:06:02 You want me to go to Dallas?
93 00:06:04 The law requires a female escort for Mrs. Riva.
94 00:06:06 Oh, yes, of course. Section 290.
95 00:06:09 The Richards Rule.
96 00:06:10 I know you've been wanting to get off the bench.
97 00:06:13 -Yes, sir. -And ever since the shotgun incident...
98 00:06:15 Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Hold up.
99 00:06:19 You're the Cooper?
100 00:06:21 As in, "He just pulled a Cooper"? As in, "Don't Cooper that shit"?
101 00:06:27 I was following protocol, sir.
102 00:06:31 I found the source of the noise complaint.
103 00:06:33 -Who's got the keys? -Hey, I got shotgun!
104 00:06:35 Drop your weapon!
105 00:06:40 Oh, my gosh!
106 00:06:41 -Why would you do that? -Why?
107 00:06:43 He just wanted to sit in the front seat!
108 00:06:45 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
109 00:06:49 Oh, God.
110 00:06:53 I'm so sor...
111 00:06:55 I'm sor... Actually, I thought you were an urban myth.
112 00:06:58 You'd never heard someone calling "shotgun" to sit in the front?
113 00:07:01 That's a negative, sir. I've never heard that term used that way.
114 00:07:05 Look, all you have to do is take care of Riva's wife.
115 00:07:08 -Yes. -Okay?
116 00:07:09 Keep her calm, take her to the little girls' room
117 00:07:11 if she has any lady business.
118 00:07:13 Yes. Captain, do we have any idea if Miss Riva is menopausal?
119 00:07:18 Yes, because I've been tracking her cycle
120 00:07:20 and cross-referencing it to the lunar calendar.
121 00:07:22 -Really? Can I get the chart? -No!
122 00:07:24 Get out of here. Go. Just go. Go.
123 00:07:26 Thank you, deputy.
124 00:07:27 -Captain Emmett? -Yes, Cooper.
125 00:07:30 Not that I'm not grateful for the opportunity, sir...
126 00:07:33 ...but this seems like a very important detail
127 00:07:35 for my first day back in the field.
128 00:07:39 Cooper.
129 00:07:40 You're cut from the same cloth as the best cop there ever was.
130 00:07:44 Thank you, sir.
131 00:07:45 It's time to make your father proud.
132 00:07:48 Just try not to get all in your head about it, okay?
133 00:07:51 Captain Emmett, I will not let you down.
134 00:07:53 I know you won't, Cooper.
135 00:07:59 Deputy Jackson, Captain Emmett said that this transport was at 11 a.m.
136 00:08:03 At the rate we're going, we'll get there more than an hour early.
137 00:08:06 Riva's a flight risk. Showing up early might keep him from running.
138 00:08:09 Okay, but we're going over 30 miles over the speed limit...
139 00:08:12 ...which is illegal. And also...
140 00:08:14 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Cooper, Cooper, Cooper.
141 00:08:16 You are chatty.
142 00:08:17 Look, the thing is, today is your lucky day.
143 00:08:20 Why is that?
144 00:08:22 You get a chance to get out of the doghouse, and you with me, sweetie. Mm?
145 00:08:26 All right, so just put your head down...
146 00:08:29 ...turn off the walkie...
147 00:08:30 ...and keep your Taser in your pants. Okay, chief?
148 00:08:33 -Copy that. -Okay.
149 00:08:35 Try not to fall in love with me.
150 00:08:36 Okay. Copy that.
151 00:08:38 Oh, wait, that was a joke.
152 00:08:40 -Ha-ha-ha. -Okay.
153 00:08:42 You are cute. You are cute.
154 00:09:14 Mrs. Riva.
155 00:09:15 This is Deputy U.S. Marshal Jackson. I'm here for you and your husband.
156 00:09:48 You're early.
157 00:09:50 -Who's this? -Mr. Riva, I'm Officer Cooper...
158 00:09:52 Don't worry about her. Nobody knows we're here.
159 00:09:54 She has to be here for your wife. She ready to go?
160 00:09:59 I'm not so sure about this Witness Protection anymore.
161 00:10:02 And why is that?
162 00:10:07 Ay, perdona. My wife is a come mierda.
163 00:10:09 How you say in English?
164 00:10:10 Shit mouth?
165 00:10:12 The U.S. Government has you trafficking on tape.
166 00:10:15 So you only got two choices:
167 00:10:16 Either come to Dallas, testify against Cortez before the grand jury...
168 00:10:20 ...or go to jail for the rest of your life.
169 00:10:22 -Let me ask about Witness Protection. -Okay.
170 00:10:25 If I go to Ohio, can my wife go to...
171 00:10:28 What is the furthest place from Ohio?
172 00:10:30 San Diego.
173 00:10:32 -Definitely San Diego. -San Diego.
174 00:10:34 Cooper, go get his wife.
175 00:10:35 10-80 the witness. Copy that.
176 00:10:40 Mrs. Riva?
177 00:10:43 I am announcing my entrance into your private domicile.
178 00:10:49 I'm Officer Cooper. I'm here to escort you to Dallas. Aah!
179 00:10:58 You must of not seen me.
180 00:10:59 Oh, I saw you.
181 00:11:03 -Mrs. Riva, I am a police officer. -Ay, please.
182 00:11:06 Look at you. You're teeny-tiny.
183 00:11:08 You're like a little dog I can put in my purse.
184 00:11:10 I can assure you...
185 00:11:11 ...I meet the minimum height requirement of an adult female my weight.
186 00:11:14 Move!
187 00:11:16 We have got to get going.
188 00:11:17 Protocol states that you only need to pack the essentials, ma'am.
189 00:11:21 You are not gonna need all these shoes.
190 00:11:23 These are clumsy and impractical.
191 00:11:25 What shoes are you wearing, huh?
192 00:11:28 I'm wearing black shoes.
193 00:11:30 Standard-issue black shoes.
194 00:11:32 No. Those are men's shoes.
195 00:11:34 My husband has the same kind.
196 00:11:36 Congratulation, Officer Lesbian,
197 00:11:38 you wear the shoes of a coward that I hate.
198 00:11:41 I realize this might be difficult for someone like you.
199 00:11:43 What the hell does that mean?
200 00:11:45 Just someone who likes a lot of stuff.
201 00:11:48 Oh, so I only care about stuff.
202 00:11:50 No, Mrs. Riva, I did not mean that.
203 00:11:52 What I was trying to s...
204 00:11:55 For example, that's probably something you could leave at home.
205 00:11:58 What? This?
206 00:12:02 I was Miss Plantain, 2004.
207 00:12:06 My cousin Rosa lost two fingers trying to snatch this from my head.
208 00:12:11 I am not going anywhere without this.
209 00:12:14 You do know the point of Witness Protection is
210 00:12:16 that you'll have a different identity.
211 00:12:19 What's taking so long?
212 00:12:20 Don't make me come up there!
213 00:12:22 Ay, no.
214 00:12:23 What are you going to do, testify me to death?
215 00:12:26 Would you like me to neutralize this situation?
216 00:12:32 Stay here.
217 00:12:42 You know what to do.
218 00:12:44 10-30. Damn it!
219 00:12:51 Hey, get down!
220 00:12:56 Oh, God, this is happening.
221 00:12:58 Don't Cooper this, Cooper.
222 00:13:00 Where are you going?
223 00:13:02 I'm trying to save you.
224 00:13:03 I try to save me too!
225 00:13:11 -Who the hell are you? -Who the hell are you?
226 00:13:14 Is this a joke?
227 00:13:15 Does this look like a joke?
228 00:13:17 -Who sent you? -Who sent you?
229 00:13:19 Ugh!
230 00:13:21 Oh, my God!
231 00:13:32 Cooper!
232 00:13:34 Get to the car, radio for backup.
233 00:13:36 -I got your back. Go! -Okay.
234 00:13:40 Hurry, let's go!
235 00:13:41 -Where is she? -We'll take care of her later.
236 00:13:43 They're getting away! Come on, let's go!
237 00:13:48 Watch out! Take the shot!
238 00:13:54 Get down!
239 00:13:55 -Your left! -They're getting away!
240 00:13:57 Oh, no.
241 00:14:05 Mrs. Riva.
242 00:14:10 Let's spread out! Search the house!
243 00:14:14 Mrs. Riva!
244 00:14:15 Mrs. Riva.
245 00:14:30 Oh, my God. Mrs. Riva. Are you wounded?
246 00:14:33 No, you stupid idiot. I'm hiding.
247 00:14:35 -Get out of here, gringa! -I'm gonna commandeer your personal vehicle.
248 00:14:38 -What? -You're in danger, ma'am.
249 00:14:41 In accordance with Texas State Penal Code, section 38,
250 00:14:43 I'm commandeering your vehicle.
251 00:14:45 -Buckle up. This is gonna get fast. -What?
252 00:14:49 -Hold on! -No, no!
253 00:14:50 Don't worry, ma'am. I'm gonna get you to safety.
254 00:14:54 -Hurry up! -Okay!
255 00:14:57 You need to calm down, ma'am.
256 00:14:59 Shut up! Go!
257 00:15:07 Damn it!
258 00:15:12 What's going on?
259 00:15:14 Calm down, ma'am. Everything's gonna be fine.
260 00:15:16 What about my husband?
261 00:15:18 Everything but your husband's gonna be fine.
262 00:15:23 I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but...
263 00:15:25 ...he's dead.
264 00:15:32 -Why? -Okay.
265 00:15:35 Try to stay calm.
266 00:15:36 Why?
267 00:15:39 Why?
268 00:15:42 -Why? -Ma'am!
269 00:15:44 You're gonna have to put your body back in the vehicle!
270 00:15:48 Oh, my God.
271 00:15:50 Oh, my God.
272 00:15:53 Where are you in my time of need?
273 00:15:56 It's normal to seek comfort in your time,
274 00:15:57 and to look to God or to Jesus...
275 00:16:00 ...but you're gonna need to take your hands off my body!
276 00:16:03 I am a widow!
277 00:16:05 Listen to me!
278 00:16:06 Listen!
279 00:16:08 I have lost my radio, so you're gonna have to call 911.
280 00:16:11 And you're gonna have to report a 10-12 and two 10-60s.
281 00:16:15 You're requesting a detective.
282 00:16:16 It's not letting me in. I think it needs a password.
283 00:16:19 -Don't do that! -Right. Right.
284 00:16:21 Dial 1139.
285 00:16:23 Then 911.
286 00:16:25 Then two 10-2...
287 00:16:26 No! Scratch that!
288 00:16:28 One 10-12 and two 10-60s.
289 00:16:31 Get a move on. Come on.
290 00:16:37 Something bad happened to the phone.
291 00:16:40 What? What?
292 00:16:42 Oh, no.
293 00:16:48 Okay.
294 00:16:50 I gotta find us a phone.
295 00:16:54 Okay.
296 00:17:00 Mrs. Riva!
297 00:17:01 You have to remain in your vehicle and stay calm.
298 00:17:03 Me? What kind of pendejo cop are you?
299 00:17:07 You have to take me home!
300 00:17:10 You're writing me a ticket?
301 00:17:12 Oh, I am protected by a meter maid.
302 00:17:15 No, I am recording all pertinent details...
303 00:17:17 ...in my incident report log before they slip my mind.
304 00:17:19 Jue madre, this is your first day?
305 00:17:21 Take me home!
306 00:17:24 Do not touch my I.R.L.
307 00:17:26 Now, protocol states I have to contact my precinct.
308 00:17:29 Do you have a telephone on you?
309 00:17:31 Yes!
310 00:17:33 I packed it...
311 00:17:34 ...with my computer...
312 00:17:36 ...with my floppy disk...
313 00:17:38 ...while running for my life.
314 00:17:41 -Where are you going? -I'm getting the hell out of here...
315 00:17:44 ...before Cortez finds me and sews my face into a soccer ball.
316 00:17:48 You are in a state of shock and you're not thinking clearly.
317 00:17:51 My husband just got murdered...
318 00:17:53 ...and now they're coming to get me.
319 00:17:56 You have to stay here until backup arrives!
320 00:17:58 I am a sitting goose out here!
321 00:18:00 Mrs. Riva! Come back!
322 00:18:02 I am warning you!
323 00:18:04 I did not wanna have to do this.
324 00:18:05 But you're forcing me to take extreme measures.
325 00:18:15 It is my mission to protect you.
326 00:18:17 It is my mission to get you to Dallas by 8:00 a.m.
327 00:18:20 And I am gonna complete my mission.
328 00:18:22 You're small but freaking intense!
329 00:18:25 I have got to contact my precinct.
330 00:18:31 Please.
331 00:18:39 Yes, ma'am.
332 00:18:40 There were two sets of gunmen.
333 00:18:43 Each seemed surprised to see each other.
334 00:18:44 One set Latino, possible cartel.
335 00:18:47 The other set Caucasian...
336 00:18:49 ...in masks.
337 00:18:50 You have an officer down and four unidentified suspects.
338 00:18:53 -Got it. -No. Hold that.
339 00:18:55 There was one identifying mark on one of the Caucasian men.
340 00:18:58 He had it on his left wrist.
341 00:19:01 And I drew a picture of it in my I.R.L.
342 00:19:03 Notebook. That's a notebook.
343 00:19:05 And that's my car not a personal vehicle.
344 00:19:08 "Remain in your personal vehicle."
345 00:19:10 -I am on the phone with dispatch. -It's a car. Say, "Car."
346 00:19:12 -Pipe down. -It drives me crazy, the way you talk.
347 00:19:15 It seems to be a Buddha, sitting on a wave.
348 00:19:18 Or a bottle of barbecue sauce guarded by two snakes.
349 00:19:21 Or a snowman, melting in the rain.
350 00:19:24 Possibly a peanut in a puddle.
351 00:19:26 It's a cow.
352 00:19:27 I am talking on the phone.
353 00:19:29 It's a longhorn.
354 00:19:30 They considered making it a state animal...
355 00:19:33 ...but they went for the armadillo instead.
356 00:19:38 What? The brown lady cannot read a book?
357 00:19:41 Scratch that.
358 00:19:43 It seems to be a longhorn.
359 00:19:44 The tattoo was a longhorn.
360 00:19:46 Okay, we'll dispatch officers to bring you in immediately.
361 00:19:49 Yes, ma'am. We'll sit tight.
362 00:19:51 Nice. Nice police work, Mr. Cherlocks Holmes.
363 00:19:54 Nice. Heh.
364 00:20:01 Oh, thank God. Here come the cavalry.
365 00:20:11 Damn, Coop.
366 00:20:13 You done got thrown in the fire today.
367 00:20:15 Detective Hauser. I'm so glad y'all are here.
368 00:20:18 It was a mess in there.
369 00:20:19 But I have recorded all the details, and tried to follow protocol.
370 00:20:22 He, hey. Coop, we got this.
371 00:20:24 You're just lucky to be alive. The good news is...
372 00:20:26 ...local police got shell casings and DNA back at the compound.
373 00:20:30 You saved this old lady's life.
374 00:20:32 "Old lady"? Su madre.
375 00:20:34 I'm gonna go and assume that means, "Thanks for saving my life."
376 00:20:36 And you are welcome, Mrs. Riva.
377 00:20:38 Why don't y'all hop in the back? We'll all ride together.
378 00:20:41 Yes, sir.
379 00:20:43 Pretty good for a secretary.
380 00:20:46 Don't worry, Miss Riva.
381 00:20:48 We'll have you in Dallas in three hours.
382 00:21:00 It's Hauser.
383 00:21:02 I called dispatch 20 minutes ago.
384 00:21:04 If they were leaving from the precinct...
385 00:21:05 ...they must've been driving 180 miles per hour to get here that fast.
386 00:21:09 Who are you talking to?
387 00:21:12 They got three quarters a tank of gas.
388 00:21:14 At a max of 90 miles per hour...
389 00:21:16 ...that means they were 30 miles away, which means they probably came...
390 00:21:22 Hauser!
391 00:21:24 Okay, I gotta go.
392 00:21:28 Yeah.
393 00:21:30 Fist bump. For all that good police work, good buddy.
394 00:21:39 We have to get out now. They're gonna kill us both.
395 00:21:41 -Dixon, let's go. -What?
396 00:21:42 They're the gunmen. The guys in the masks.
397 00:21:44 -Who? -Just trust me. Follow my lead.
398 00:21:47 No, ma'am, I do not have any feminine toiletries on me.
399 00:21:51 Feminine what?
400 00:21:55 What's the problem?
401 00:21:57 Uh, Mrs. Riva is having some problems with some lady business.
402 00:22:03 Of the tampon variety.
403 00:22:08 -Seriously? -Yeah. My comadre is here.
404 00:22:11 Her comadre is here.
405 00:22:15 Can't you just hold it?
406 00:22:17 No, it does not work that way, detective. It does not.
407 00:22:20 No, you see, once a month, my uterus sheds it's lining.
408 00:22:24 It sheds. Once a month.
409 00:22:25 -So that the eggs... -And the eggs.
410 00:22:27 ...descend into the puss.
411 00:22:29 -Oh, my God. -The puss put...
412 00:22:31 -No, there are fluids... -God.
413 00:22:32 -Other fluids go in there. -Whoa. What is she talking about?
414 00:22:35 So please take me to a bathroom right now...
415 00:22:38 ...or the back of this car is gonna be the second crime scene...
416 00:22:41 ...that you guys are gonna be cleaning today.
417 00:22:44 -You don't need to paint a picture. -You're used to that, no? Heh.
418 00:22:47 Please, please. Stop.
419 00:22:55 -Okay, Coop, I'll let you out. -All right. Let's go.
420 00:22:59 There's a lining in there?
421 00:23:02 -We'll be right back. -Yeah.
422 00:23:10 Hey, mamacita, where you going?
423 00:23:12 -Mamacita? -We have our periods!
424 00:23:16 You don't wanna know.
425 00:23:34 There's a window. I'll go first.
426 00:23:36 You go, go, go.
427 00:23:40 -Oh. Okay, I can't do it. -Push there with the legs!
428 00:23:44 -With the legs! With the legs! -I can't!
429 00:23:46 Why is your body like that?
430 00:23:48 -I gotta get a toehold. -Where's the toehold? I can't find the toehold.
431 00:23:53 I just need some upper-body strength.
432 00:23:54 -Push! -Okay, hold on.
433 00:23:56 I'm gonna pull my body up, and push it out the window.
434 00:23:59 Go, go, go!
435 00:24:01 Go, go, go! I'm gonna help you.
436 00:24:02 Go, go, go.
437 00:24:07 -Put me down. -No, no!
438 00:24:09 -What? -Dixon's out there.
439 00:24:11 -Why didn't you shoot him? -I'm not gonna shoot an officer!
440 00:24:14 They'll be happy to shoot us.
441 00:24:16 -That gives me an idea. -What?
442 00:24:17 -This is gonna be loud. -What?
443 00:24:26 Go, go, go! You help us.
444 00:24:28 Help her! Get her up!
445 00:24:30 -What was that? -Dixon, let's go!
446 00:24:32 Lift me up on two!
447 00:24:33 -What? On one? -One! Two! Go!
448 00:24:35 -No, wait, I mean go on one then two... -Now?
449 00:24:37 Shut up! Go up!
450 00:24:39 I'm going up.
451 00:24:42 -Okay, do me, do me. -All right.
452 00:24:44 Do me!
453 00:24:47 Aah!
454 00:24:49 Get up! Help me!
455 00:24:51 -Do it! Get up and help me. -Okay.
456 00:24:53 Out of my way, man.
457 00:24:55 -Hold up, hold up! -Get back, Goldilocks!
458 00:24:57 -Hurry! -Pull me!
459 00:24:58 -Come on! -I'm trying! I have the body of a woman!
460 00:25:01 Just fall on me like a sack of potatoes!
461 00:25:04 Hey, out of the way.
462 00:25:05 Okay. You take the far one.
463 00:25:07 One, two.
464 00:25:09 Dixon!
465 00:25:12 -What are you thinking? -Legs!
466 00:25:14 I got it!
467 00:25:16 -Freeze, Cooper! -Aah!
468 00:25:17 You don't... No! No!
469 00:25:21 What are you doing? Come on!
470 00:25:23 No! My bag!
471 00:25:25 -I've been attacked. -Let's go! Get up!
472 00:25:27 I've been attacked.
473 00:25:31 -Wait! -Come on!
474 00:25:33 Come on!
475 00:25:36 Hurry up.
476 00:25:39 -What is going on? -I don't know.
477 00:25:42 -This doesn't make any sense. -Drive! Stop talking and drive!
478 00:25:54 Watch it, mister!
479 00:25:56 I gotta calm down.
480 00:25:58 How could they?
481 00:25:59 Why would they?
482 00:26:00 Oh, my God. I just don't understand.
483 00:26:03 10-30: officer in trouble.
484 00:26:05 10-31: shooting in progress.
485 00:26:07 10-32...
486 00:26:08 -What are you doing now? -It's a relaxation technique.
487 00:26:11 Oh, it's working wonderful.
488 00:26:14 I just don't understand. I just feel like it doesn't make any sense.
489 00:26:17 Like, there has to be some sort of explanation.
490 00:26:20 Yeah, the explanation is that they're bad cops.
491 00:26:22 What is that?
492 00:26:25 -Ay, no. No. -Oh, no. No, no, no.
493 00:26:27 Oh, no.
494 00:26:29 Dang it!
495 00:26:31 Ay, yeah, this is the one that is always overheating.
496 00:26:34 It looks like we just need some water and we'll be good to go.
497 00:26:43 Do you hear that?
498 00:26:47 No. What?
499 00:26:53 Mrs. Riva...
500 00:26:54 ...are you concealing a communication device in your chestal area?
501 00:26:57 My chestal what?
502 00:26:59 My boobs? No.
503 00:27:01 And I am so tired of those racist accusations.
504 00:27:07 You have had a cell phone this entire time!
505 00:27:09 Unacceptable. Now hand it over!
506 00:27:12 Fine, I'm gonna come and get it.
507 00:27:16 I didn't give it to you...
508 00:27:17 ...because everything that you see you commandeer.
509 00:27:20 See?
510 00:27:21 There's a website. It tracks police scanners.
511 00:27:23 I just have to hear what Dixon and Hauser
512 00:27:25 hear so we can get ahead of them.
513 00:27:27 4921 North Jefferson Road.
514 00:27:29 Daniella Riva, a Hispanic female, approximately 40 years old.
515 00:27:33 Forty!
516 00:27:34 She was last seen fleeing the scene in a red 1968 Cadillac convertible.
517 00:27:39 They think I'm traveling with a fugitive.
518 00:27:42 The officer is considered armed and extremely dangerous.
519 00:27:45 "Officer"? Two officers.
520 00:27:47 Officer Cooper is described as 5' tall with blond hair.
521 00:27:51 What, me?
522 00:27:52 They think I am traveling with a fugitive.
523 00:27:55 She killed a U.S. Marshal. Prepare to shoot on sight.
524 00:28:02 That is the number one way we track runners.
525 00:28:04 I gotta think. What do I do?
526 00:28:06 Good luck cleaning your name.
527 00:28:07 I am going to be in Mexico...
528 00:28:09 They think I committed a crime? I gotta get to Dallas and clear this up.
529 00:28:12 -...with a cocktail and a fake passport. -I don't know what to do.
530 00:28:15 Mrs. Riva. Listen to me, Miss Riva.
531 00:28:18 Our smartest move now is to change clothes, lose this car...
532 00:28:21 ...and commandeer a new vehicle to get to Dallas.
533 00:28:24 Everybody in the state is looking for you.
534 00:28:26 You're gonna be dead before sundown.
535 00:28:29 You don't have to like me, but I'm the best chance you have at surviving.
536 00:28:35 What the heck is that?
537 00:28:37 Felipe must have put baking powder in the car.
538 00:28:47 How much baking powder?
539 00:28:51 I don't know. Maybe like 42 kilos.
540 00:28:56 What? I told you it wasn't mine! I told you not to steal something!
541 00:28:59 Oh, God! Would you just shut up for one cotton-picking minute!
542 00:29:03 Hey, are y'all okay?
543 00:29:05 I took that turn way too fast.
544 00:29:07 What the heck is this white stuff?
545 00:29:09 -Baking powder. -Baking powder.
546 00:29:11 We're bakers. Toast, muffin, cakes.
547 00:29:13 -Muffin. -Toast.
548 00:29:14 -Toast, cake, muffins. -I should call the police.
549 00:29:17 No! I am the mother-effing police! Don't you see?
550 00:29:20 There's no major damage here. You're free to go.
551 00:29:23 But I destroyed your car.
552 00:29:24 I said you're free to go!
553 00:29:26 Except I need you to drop us off at the nearest establishment...
554 00:29:29 ...where we can buy clothing at a reasonable price...
555 00:29:31 ...but, more importantly, at a reasonable price.
556 00:29:33 I said that before, didn't I? This accident's got me all jacked up.
557 00:29:36 -If you don't mind riding in an old truck. -Let's go!
558 00:29:40 Clean your nose!
559 00:29:41 Out of the way!
560 00:29:43 When I was 5, my favorite color was blue.
561 00:29:45 When I was 6, my favorite color was plaid.
562 00:29:47 I was 7, I saw squirrels kissing. I watched it for a long time.
563 00:29:49 A long time, Wayne. I still feel weird about it. This is our stop!
564 00:29:55 Wayne, you're the best friend I ever had.
565 00:29:57 Wayne's a snake in the grass.
566 00:29:58 You think he heard me? I think he did.
567 00:30:01 Okay, okay, Officer Scarface, just keep it together.
568 00:30:04 Police officer coming through.
569 00:30:07 I'm so thirsty. It's like my body's a desert.
570 00:30:09 This could be perfect. We have to change.
571 00:30:11 These hangers are slippery. Like they have some special coating.
572 00:30:14 My hands are really sweaty, which is weird.
573 00:30:16 Is it hot in here? It feels like the surface of the sun.
574 00:30:19 You're more fun like this...
575 00:30:20 -...but calm down. -I was in a fight-or-flight situation.
576 00:30:23 I'm filled with adrenaline. Look how high I can jump.
577 00:30:25 I can't do this normally.
578 00:30:27 See that?
579 00:30:29 -Yes! -No.
580 00:30:31 We're gonna need this and this.
581 00:30:33 Control yourself. We don't need that!
582 00:30:35 And these! And those! And these!
583 00:30:36 Aah! I know this is impractical but we might have to catch our own food.
584 00:30:39 Or make a lightning rod! A hat!
585 00:30:43 -Please. Focus. We need to get clothes! -Yes!
586 00:30:46 Okay, how about you try something completely different...
587 00:30:51 ...of what you are.
588 00:30:52 How about...
589 00:30:54 -...a woman? -Perfect! And you can be a cowboy.
590 00:31:00 It's tight in here.
591 00:31:01 -Cowboy? -This is a good plan. This is gonna work!
592 00:31:05 I'll be a woman, and you'll be a cowboy.
593 00:31:07 No one's gonna see that coming. I should learn to knit.
594 00:31:09 I could knit a sweater
595 00:31:10 or a sleeping bag or a whole house. Need curtains?
596 00:31:12 Looks like night in here, but I know it's day.
597 00:31:16 It's day, right? It's like Vegas.
598 00:31:17 Whoo! It's hot!
599 00:31:20 What is that white thing?
600 00:31:22 Oh, that's my underwear.
601 00:31:23 That's no underwear, that's a diaper!
602 00:31:25 I like a lot of coverage.
603 00:31:33 Come on, man. We're running out of time.
604 00:31:40 I feel like the cheese fell off my cracker.
605 00:31:45 Why do you look like that? You're supposed to be incognito.
606 00:31:48 Not look exactly like that picture of you on TV. Oh, my God.
607 00:31:51 All of Texas law enforcement is looking for these two.
608 00:31:54 Officer Cooper knows the right thing to do...
609 00:31:57 ...and we are confident that she'll come in.
610 00:31:59 At this hour, police are still looking for the two suspects.
611 00:32:02 -Officer Cooper, who stands at 4' 11". -Oh, come on.
612 00:32:06 The other suspect, a 45-year-old Latina...
613 00:32:09 Forty-five?
614 00:32:11 We have to get out of here.
615 00:32:13 If I could get to that cell phone, I could call Captain Emmett.
616 00:32:16 You can't do that. He'll recognize us.
617 00:32:18 How are we supposed to pay without him seeing our faces?
618 00:32:21 Let me handle it.
619 00:32:27 Here you go.
620 00:32:35 My God. We have to get out of here.
621 00:32:37 -Why? -Right now. Come on.
622 00:32:47 Come on. Over here.
623 00:32:51 -Hey. -Come on. Get in.
624 00:32:54 -What was that? -Cortez's men.
625 00:32:57 What?
626 00:33:00 Don't worry. They didn't see us.
627 00:33:10 Okay.
628 00:33:13 We're gonna wait till he pulls over...
629 00:33:15 ...and then we're gonna commandeer the vehicle.
630 00:33:31 Come here, boy! Hey! Come here. Come here.
631 00:33:33 Aw. Look at you there.
632 00:33:39 You go out first, and then I want you to go around and then wait.
633 00:33:44 So you're driving a car?
634 00:33:46 And looking for a cow to milk, while putting on makeup.
635 00:33:49 But it doesn't look good, so you're turning a tiny little radio on...
636 00:33:52 What?
637 00:33:53 Oh, never mind. Come on!
638 00:33:56 And leave that!
639 00:33:57 No! I'm not going anywhere without my suitcase!
640 00:34:00 What's in there, anyway?
641 00:34:02 -No, nina! -Another kilo of baking powder?
642 00:34:07 You are not taking these!
643 00:34:09 Then I'm not going anywhere.
644 00:34:11 Shoes. You're gonna get us killed over some shoes?
645 00:34:14 They're not just shoes.
646 00:34:18 These are gifts from my brother in Colombia.
647 00:34:21 These are the only things I have left from him.
648 00:34:25 He got in trouble with the wrong people.
649 00:34:28 He went to the police for help...
650 00:34:32 ...and he ended up dead.
651 00:34:36 So you wanted to know why I hate cops. That's the reason.
652 00:34:39 So if you want to take me to Dallas to die, fine.
653 00:34:42 But you're gonna take me with my suitcase.
654 00:34:46 I'm sorry.
655 00:34:48 I didn't know.
656 00:34:49 But I'm not like those other cops. You can trust me.
657 00:34:53 You have to stop treating me like I'm a stupid rookie cop...
658 00:34:56 ...who doesn't know what she's doing.
659 00:34:58 Then you have to stop treating me like I am a criminal.
660 00:35:03 Fine.
661 00:35:06 Fine.
662 00:35:11 Follow me.
663 00:35:26 Bingo! I got them! All right, Mrs. Riva, we're gonna...
664 00:35:29 Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my truck?
665 00:35:33 Get away from it, lady.
666 00:35:35 Okay! Okay.
667 00:35:37 -My name is, um... -Uh-huh.
668 00:35:40 My name is Nancy...
669 00:35:42 -...Reagan. -Mm-hm.
670 00:35:44 Right.
671 00:35:46 I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's what my parents named me.
672 00:35:49 Let me explain.
673 00:35:50 My friend and I are veterinarians and we were in the neighborhood...
674 00:35:53 Shut your trap. I'm holding the gun.
675 00:35:55 I'm sorry. I know you don't like me.
676 00:35:57 But I'm sure you don't want me to get killed!
677 00:35:59 You should've thought about that.
678 00:36:02 I know you're mad, but can we just talk about this reasonably?
679 00:36:05 Honey bunny!
680 00:36:07 There you are!
681 00:36:09 Sweetie pie.
682 00:36:11 I've been looking all over for you.
683 00:36:14 Who is that?
684 00:36:15 Hi. I am Dr. Shannon.
685 00:36:19 -I am her lover. -What?
686 00:36:22 We had a little fight but I'm sure you know whose fault it was.
687 00:36:27 It was not my fault.
688 00:36:31 You never accept that it's your fault.
689 00:36:33 You never talk about your feelings.
690 00:36:36 It's like being in love with some tiny little brick wall.
691 00:36:41 How the hell you understand her?
692 00:36:43 -I don't know. It's really hard. -I don't.
693 00:36:45 I usually don't even know what she's talking about.
694 00:36:48 But we use body language.
695 00:36:52 That's bullshit. I'm calling the cops.
696 00:36:54 -Don't do that. -No! This is outrageous.
697 00:36:57 No, no, no.
698 00:36:59 This is Rachel profiling.
699 00:37:02 -What? -I can't be a doctor because I am Colombian?
700 00:37:05 Uh-huh. And I can't be a lesbian because she's so unattractive...
701 00:37:10 ...and she has a mustache and talks like some tiny little robot?
702 00:37:15 Well, let me tell you something: She's my tiny little weird robot.
703 00:37:19 -And I love her. -What are you doing?
704 00:37:21 Wait, what are you doing?
705 00:37:23 Trying to show him I love you.
706 00:37:24 I'm distracting him so he won't call the cops!
707 00:37:27 -Mm. -Mm-hm, mm-hm.
708 00:37:33 -Kiss me. Kiss me. Men love this. -Okay.
709 00:37:37 Yeah, I need to report two suspicious women on my property.
710 00:37:40 -It's not working! -Act sexy!
711 00:37:42 -Okay! Sexy. -Come, come.
712 00:37:44 -Oh, yeah! Pull my hair. I like that! Yeah! -Ha-ha-ha.
713 00:37:46 Yeah, I love it when you pull my hair like that.
714 00:37:49 I feel so sexy.
715 00:38:07 My finger! Oh, God!
716 00:38:10 I did not just Cooper this.
717 00:38:11 You Cooper... You Cooper what?
718 00:38:14 Where is it? It's gotta be here somewhere.
719 00:38:16 I can't believe this happened again!
720 00:38:19 -I gotta find that finger! -We have to get out of here!
721 00:38:26 Bad doggy. What did you do?
722 00:38:28 -Oh, no. -Hannibal!
723 00:38:31 I'm getting sick now.
724 00:38:33 -Hannibal. -I just fed you!
725 00:38:35 I'm gonna give you the Heimlich, all right?
726 00:38:38 This is where I go down!
727 00:38:40 This is my banjo hand!
728 00:38:44 The dog doesn't have the finger.
729 00:38:47 What?
730 00:38:49 The dog...
731 00:38:51 ...doesn't have the finger!
732 00:38:54 It's in my hair!
733 00:39:05 Okay! You have two choices: You can stay here and mess with us...
734 00:39:09 ...or take this to the hospital, have it reattached and shake with a full set.
735 00:39:14 Hey, come on!
736 00:39:15 Slow down!
737 00:39:17 Hold on, you're going too fast.
738 00:39:19 You would be able to keep up...
739 00:39:20 ...if you hadn't bought another pair of stripper shoes.
740 00:39:23 And do not think that I forgot you tried to escape.
741 00:39:26 I can't believe I bought that stupid shoe story about your brother.
742 00:39:29 He's probably an investment banker in Miami.
743 00:39:31 That I tried to escape doesn't mean that the story's not true.
744 00:39:35 And I came back to save you...
745 00:39:38 ...so you're welcome!
746 00:39:39 I am not saying thank you!
747 00:39:43 I don't think...
748 00:39:44 I don't think I can make it.
749 00:39:47 Oh, you are gonna make it.
750 00:39:49 I woke up this morning and my partner was killed.
751 00:39:51 I have been set up, shot at, and hunted down.
752 00:39:54 Some guy shot off his finger, and I tried to Heimlich his dog.
753 00:39:57 I let you get to second base with me...
754 00:39:59 ...or maybe third. I've never been clear about that.
755 00:40:02 We're nowhere near Dallas...
756 00:40:04 ...and the police are gonna arrest us any minute. Now move your ass.
757 00:40:09 Ugh.
758 00:40:18 Keys. I got keys.
759 00:40:21 Thank God.
760 00:40:43 Desnalgada, you're going to kill us!
761 00:40:45 Open the window or put some music.
762 00:40:47 -Okay. -Yee.
763 00:40:50 The two female fugitives are still on the lam. Police are...
764 00:41:02 I never promised you a rose garden
765 00:41:06 Along with the sunshine
766 00:41:09 There's gotta be a little rain sometimes
767 00:41:17 Hey. I was named after that song.
768 00:41:19 Oh, so your name is "Bad Song"?
769 00:41:21 That's just rude.
770 00:41:24 You know what is your problem?
771 00:41:25 Here we go. I have a tendency to be hyper-focused...
772 00:41:28 ...so it's difficult to relate to people...
773 00:41:30 -...when there's a task at hand. -Exactly. That there is your problem.
774 00:41:34 -"10-520: I am boring!" -Please do not make fun of me.
775 00:41:37 "10-45: I'm right and you're wrong."
776 00:41:40 -It relaxes me to do my numbers. -Obviously doesn't work...
777 00:41:43 ...that's why you don't have a ring.
778 00:41:45 -You do not know anything about me. -I have kissed you.
779 00:41:48 I have seen your underwear.
780 00:41:50 I know everything I need to know.
781 00:41:52 It's none of your business, but I happen to have had a date the other night.
782 00:41:56 -Really? -Yes, I did.
783 00:41:58 How did it go?
784 00:41:59 Well, it went the way that things go when a man goes out with a woman...
785 00:42:03 ...and they have attraction towards each other.
786 00:42:06 I don't know why I'd want advice from you, anyway.
787 00:42:08 Did you...?
788 00:42:11 -What? -Heh, heh.
789 00:42:15 -Does that mean what I think? -Did you play with his chicken and eggs?
790 00:42:19 Oh, my God. I can't.
791 00:42:21 Ha-ha-ha. Did you give him a pirate key?
792 00:42:23 What is a pirate key?
793 00:42:25 I don't even know what that is. That's horrifying.
794 00:42:27 Well, it depends on who the pirate is.
795 00:42:37 -It didn't work out on the date. -Mm.
796 00:42:40 It never does.
797 00:42:42 I have a tendency to attract men who run away from me.
798 00:42:45 Don't really know why.
799 00:42:49 -What was that? -I don't know!
800 00:43:03 What is that?
801 00:43:10 Oh, God. It's a person.
802 00:43:12 -Help me get him out. -It's a hot man-person.
803 00:43:17 Is he dead? He smells dead.
804 00:43:19 No, I think he's just drunk.
805 00:43:25 Oh, what, it's police procedure to touch all his man parts?
806 00:43:32 He has an ankle monitor.
807 00:43:33 That means they can track us. We're gonna have to cut it off.
808 00:43:37 No. I have a better idea.
809 00:43:42 I'm going to cut his foot off.
810 00:43:44 How's that a better idea?
811 00:43:46 Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell are you doing? Aah.
812 00:43:50 -Nothing. We're doing nothing. -We're just gonna cut your foot off.
813 00:43:54 -What? -Relax.
814 00:43:55 I know what I did wrong with my cousin, Eugenio.
815 00:43:59 Okay, he did bleed to death two days later...
816 00:44:01 ...but, listen, he did it on his own terms:
817 00:44:04 With a drink in his hand and as a free man.
818 00:44:08 -Let's do it. -No. Ain't nobody cutting nobody's foot off.
819 00:44:12 Now, you just settle down and tell me:
820 00:44:16 Where the hell am I and who the hell are you?
821 00:44:18 I am a police officer. She's a federal witness in my protective custody.
822 00:44:22 I know she looks like she can't protect nothing...
823 00:44:25 ...because she looks like My Little Pony...
824 00:44:27 -...but it's true. -Shh.
825 00:44:28 Who are you? What are you doing?
826 00:44:30 I'm Randy.
827 00:44:32 And you stole my truck.
828 00:44:34 Oh.
829 00:44:36 Hold on.
830 00:44:39 I know who you are.
831 00:44:41 I saw you on TV.
832 00:44:43 Yeah. You all are wanted.
833 00:44:45 -I have to use the rock! -Hold on!
834 00:44:48 -That stuff they're saying on TV isn't true. -Okay.
835 00:44:50 -We just have to get to Dallas and sort it out. -Good.
836 00:44:53 -"Sort it out"? -Yes.
837 00:44:55 You're gonna get your job back? And I am going to get dead!
838 00:44:58 -You're not gonna get dead. -They're waiting for us!
839 00:45:00 -The U.S. government will protect you. -She wants me to go and testify!
840 00:45:03 -She never stops talking. -But to do that, you have to have a head!
841 00:45:09 She is not wrong. If we get there too early, we will be sitting ducks.
842 00:45:13 So we need a couple hours to lay low. Now, can you help us with that?
843 00:45:16 Yeah, I can, but you gotta stop pointing that thing at me.
844 00:45:23 Thank you.
845 00:45:25 What?
846 00:45:26 The Indian casino.
847 00:45:28 Under tribal law, police ain't got jurisdiction.
848 00:45:30 You know this. I could drive you.
849 00:45:32 I could get you a room. I know people there.
850 00:45:35 -I bet you do. -She's always this judgmental.
851 00:45:38 He's a criminal.
852 00:45:39 You kidnapped me. You broke my parole.
853 00:45:41 What you gonna do, just leave me out here?
854 00:45:43 Yeah, why not?
855 00:45:45 They're looking for two ladies, right? Well, this is three people.
856 00:45:48 So why don't you let me drive and you can get in the back.
857 00:45:51 Look, I can help you. Just let me.
858 00:45:55 -Why should I trust you? -Because I know what it feels like...
859 00:45:58 ...when no one wants to hear your side of the story.
860 00:46:02 Plus, you know...
861 00:46:05 ...I kind of like your smile.
862 00:46:07 I'm not smiling.
863 00:46:09 Well, then, I got something to look forward to.
864 00:46:13 You have a bottle opener?
865 00:46:16 Now we're talking.
866 00:46:20 Oh, cut it out.
867 00:46:23 Used correctly, bottle openers can jack tires
868 00:46:25 and pick door locks.
869 00:46:26 And then you throw it in the river, and...
870 00:46:30 -Done. -She has the worst arms ever.
871 00:46:32 -So skinny. -Dang it!
872 00:46:34 Like I said, "Throw it in the river!
873 00:46:37 And...
874 00:46:39 Done. Let's go.
875 00:46:45 -Evening. -Sir.
876 00:46:46 A female suspect and hostage are in the area.
877 00:46:48 You seen anything suspicious?
878 00:46:50 -Sir, I ain't seen anything. -You sure? We think they're nearby.
879 00:46:53 Real sure.
880 00:46:56 All right.
881 00:47:00 Be on the lookout for two female fugitives last seen heading north.
882 00:47:07 Come on. Keep it moving.
883 00:47:09 Let me see your ID.
884 00:47:10 Move forward to the double cones.
885 00:47:16 You're kidding me, you lit a kid on fire?
886 00:47:19 No. I lit the mayor's kid on fire.
887 00:47:24 -It's not funny. -Are you kidding me? It's super funny.
888 00:47:26 Okay.
889 00:47:28 I guess it is a little bit funny.
890 00:47:30 And I wouldn't care so much, but my father was a very respected man.
891 00:47:33 And I turned his name into a joke.
892 00:47:39 He died a few years ago.
893 00:47:41 In the line of duty.
894 00:47:44 I'm so sorry for your loss.
895 00:47:46 I will say a prayer for him.
896 00:47:48 Thank you.
897 00:47:52 Just that all I ever...
898 00:47:55 -Oh, right now? -Shh. Mm.
899 00:47:59 -All I ever wanted was... -Mm.
900 00:48:03 Amen.
901 00:48:05 Go on.
902 00:48:06 I was just saying, all I ever wanted was to be just like him.
903 00:48:10 So that's why you always act like a little man.
904 00:48:13 You're pretending to be someone that you're not.
905 00:48:15 You have to be who you are. Own it.
906 00:48:18 But I have to be tough to be a cop.
907 00:48:20 I gotta get my name back.
908 00:48:22 You can't wait for them to give it to you. You have to take it.
909 00:48:26 I'm just saying that I wouldn't let the fact that you have a little cuca...
910 00:48:30 ...get in the way of your dream!
911 00:48:39 Checkpoint. You better figure something out.
912 00:48:44 We have to get through. We gotta hide.
913 00:48:46 Let's hide underneath this blanket.
914 00:48:48 -This is a deer skin! -Calm down. He's probably a hunter.
915 00:48:53 -Let's go. -Move forward to the double cones.
916 00:48:57 Looking for two female fugitives.
917 00:48:59 I'm gonna check the back.
918 00:49:01 Go ahead.
919 00:49:18 Move along.
920 00:49:23 It smells in here.
921 00:49:25 It does not smell. It is not a real deer. It's a decoy.
922 00:49:28 Okay, this probably wasn't my best idea.
923 00:49:31 We need to make some deer noises.
924 00:49:32 What is a deer noise?
925 00:49:34 Deer noises, like, you know, like the dogs says:
926 00:49:39 Shh. Be quiet! What does a deer say?
927 00:49:43 That is not what a deer says. If it says anything, it sounds like this:
928 00:49:50 Are you kidding me? It's not a horse.
929 00:49:52 It is from the horse family.
930 00:49:53 Just make the noise.
931 00:49:55 Hey, I think I hear something over here.
932 00:49:59 Keep doing the sounds.
933 00:50:06 Oh, my God. I think it's working!
934 00:50:08 I can't believe I'm saying this.
935 00:50:09 I'm actually having fun with you.
936 00:50:11 -You are? -No, of course not.
937 00:50:13 I'm underneath a deer and with my head up your ass.
938 00:50:16 Shut up. We gotta go find Randy.
939 00:50:25 That bellhop looked at me funny.
940 00:50:28 Y'all all right?
941 00:50:30 I'm gonna go get cleaned up.
942 00:50:31 Okay.
943 00:50:37 We have to keep a low profile. You can rest for a bit...
944 00:50:40 ...but we have to leave by sunrise...
945 00:50:42 -...to get you to the courthouse. -I know, by 8:00 a.m.
946 00:50:45 Just in time to get my head blown off.
947 00:50:50 What are you doing? They charge an arm and a leg for that stuff.
948 00:50:53 I would think that you would love the minibar.
949 00:50:56 The things inside must feel so normal in your little hands.
950 00:50:59 Why don't you go and commandeer some food from your cowboy boyfriend?
951 00:51:04 I am not going to dignify that statement with a response.
952 00:51:08 I am, however, responsible for you...
953 00:51:10 ...so I am gonna go next door to get some food.
954 00:51:16 And, unfortunately, I have to do this.
955 00:51:19 Because, as you know, you are a flight risk.
956 00:51:23 -Be right back. -Come here.
957 00:51:27 Come here.
958 00:51:31 -Thank you. -Okay.
959 00:51:33 Thank you for protecting me.
960 00:51:36 All right. Well, that's my job.
961 00:51:38 Thank you very much.
962 00:51:40 Okay.
963 00:51:43 I'll turn on the TV for you.
964 00:51:45 They tried to seduce me with some lesbian stuff...
965 00:51:48 ...but I'm a Christian, so I wasn't interested in that.
966 00:51:51 Well, there was two of them. One was a real tall gal with a nice figure...
967 00:51:55 ...and she had a little blond boy with her.
968 00:51:58 Officer Cooper is 4' 9".
969 00:52:00 I am 5' 2".
970 00:52:02 -She's traveling with a 50-year-old suspect. -Fifty!
971 00:52:08 Here, read a book.
972 00:52:09 I already know the ending.
973 00:52:12 Suit yourself.
974 00:52:16 Hello? Randy?
975 00:52:18 -Oh, hey. Um... -Aah!
976 00:52:19 Penis! Oh, my God.
977 00:52:21 -Penis! -Uh...
978 00:52:22 -I'm gonna get a towel. -What? I'm sorry. Please.
979 00:52:24 I was gonna say that. That's what I was gonna say. Um...
980 00:52:28 The reason I came was as follows:
981 00:52:31 I'm in a very difficult work situation...
982 00:52:33 ...my blood sugar is getting dangerously low, and I need food.
983 00:52:37 And I need you to get it for me.
984 00:52:39 -Yes. -Yes, what?
985 00:52:42 Yes, I will have dinner with you.
986 00:52:44 Oh, no, I didn't say that.
987 00:52:47 I don't have meals with convicted felons.
988 00:52:50 Heh. I don't have dinner with dirty cops, so I guess that makes us even.
989 00:52:54 Plus, you know, I'm the good kind of felon.
990 00:52:57 -There is no such thing. -Sure is.
991 00:52:59 My sister was getting knocked around by her boyfriend, so I beat him up.
992 00:53:03 Oh. Well, then that shouldn't be a f...
993 00:53:06 With a baseball bat, so...
994 00:53:08 Oh, a 10-41 Apple. Copy that.
995 00:53:11 And my other sister, she dated a similar piece of shit.
996 00:53:14 Maybe call it my hot-button issue, if you like.
997 00:53:17 I hope you don't have a third sister.
998 00:53:19 Three felony assaults, plus a history of established behavior...
999 00:53:22 ...will definitely end you up in more than an ankle monitor.
1000 00:53:25 More like a jumpsuit. Heh.
1001 00:53:28 An orange one.
1002 00:53:30 In prison. That's a...
1003 00:53:31 Why are you smiling at me?
1004 00:53:34 You're kind of intense.
1005 00:53:35 Oh. Yeah, I've heard that before.
1006 00:53:38 I dig it.
1007 00:53:41 You do?
1008 00:53:42 Yeah, I do.
1009 00:53:45 There it is.
1010 00:53:46 It was worth the wait.
1011 00:53:49 Hey, you know what? I gotta see something.
1012 00:53:53 Aah! Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no.
1013 00:53:55 No! I'm on duty, and that is a very difficult work situation in there...
1014 00:53:59 ...and this is gonna have to wait because time waits for no man.
1015 00:54:02 Except this is the opposite, time is waiting for every man.
1016 00:54:05 But no man's gonna do this.
1017 00:54:07 That's not what I meant.
1018 00:54:09 What I meant was, section 428 of the Texas State Penal Code...
1019 00:54:12 ...forbids fraternization between a officer... Never mind.
1020 00:54:19 Why does that feel so good?
1021 00:54:21 Now go get me food before I pass out.
1022 00:54:25 You got it.
1023 00:54:33 -Something very bizarre just happened in there. -You're going to be mad.
1024 00:54:38 How'd you get my gun?
1025 00:54:39 I took it during that pathetic excuse of a hug that you gave me.
1026 00:54:43 Now give me the key, I'm leaving.
1027 00:54:44 This is not funny. That's my gun and it's police property.
1028 00:54:47 I'm not going to Dallas.
1029 00:54:49 I was never going to testify.
1030 00:54:51 I was just going to get away from Felipe and start alone on my own.
1031 00:54:54 -So you have been lying to me this whole time? -No.
1032 00:54:58 Yes and no.
1033 00:55:00 Mostly yes.
1034 00:55:02 But that's not what is important right now.
1035 00:55:04 This is what is insane.
1036 00:55:06 You were not supposed to read that.
1037 00:55:08 Heh, heh. "Mrs. Riva's constant use of her physical assets...
1038 00:55:12 ...rather than her somewhat limited mental capacity...
1039 00:55:15 ...suggests that she might not know as much as the prosecution would hope."
1040 00:55:19 I was saying you are not a criminal.
1041 00:55:21 No, you were saying that I was too dumb to be a criminal.
1042 00:55:25 This is what happens...
1043 00:55:27 ...when you underestimate a book because of it's cover.
1044 00:55:30 I did not underestimate you. I overestimated you.
1045 00:55:33 It turns out you're exactly who I thought you were when I met you.
1046 00:55:36 Shut up and untie this cheap bracelet.
1047 00:55:46 Move it. Move.
1048 00:55:48 -I'm moving. -Move.
1049 00:55:52 You're gonna need this!
1050 00:55:56 -Gun! I gotta get the gun! -No, you don't!
1051 00:55:59 I can't believe I trusted you.
1052 00:56:00 It's not my fault you let your guard down!
1053 00:56:03 -Yes, it is! -No!
1054 00:56:05 -I refuse to have a catfight. -Too bad!
1055 00:56:12 What was your skill for Miss Plantain? Lying?
1056 00:56:14 Get off, hillbilly.
1057 00:56:15 That is so dirty and disgusting!
1058 00:56:18 Dirty? I'm gonna show you dirty, Miss Piggy.
1059 00:56:20 Is that the remote?
1060 00:56:21 That thing is covered in germs. It's like a toilet seat.
1061 00:56:36 I got stuck!
1062 00:56:37 Give it!
1063 00:56:43 Tell me why that bag's so heavy.
1064 00:56:45 -What? -How many pairs of shoes are in there?
1065 00:56:48 Eh... Eh...
1066 00:56:50 Twelve.
1067 00:56:52 -Eighteen. 18. -Show me.
1068 00:56:56 Open the bag!
1069 00:56:59 Hurry up.
1070 00:57:01 You would never understand...
1071 00:57:08 ...but I needed the sparkly stilettos to go out...
1072 00:57:12 ...and I need the sparkly stilettos when I stay in...
1073 00:57:15 ...and I need the corky wedges, and I need...
1074 00:57:17 I have been in evidence for over three years.
1075 00:57:20 Average pair of women's shoes weighs about a half a pound.
1076 00:57:22 You'd need over 80 pairs in there for it to weigh that much.
1077 00:57:25 Give me one of those.
1078 00:57:33 What's this made of? Platinum?
1079 00:57:35 No.
1080 00:57:36 It's white gold and diamonds.
1081 00:57:38 That's how my husband smuggled money into this country...
1082 00:57:41 ...as presents for his vain, dumb trophy wife.
1083 00:57:45 How much is that bag worth?
1084 00:57:47 -I don't know, I have limited mental capacit... -How much is it worth?
1085 00:57:52 About $4 million.
1086 00:57:54 -What? -I know.
1087 00:57:55 It depends on how the commodities are trading at the moment.
1088 00:57:59 I'm putting all of that in evidence.
1089 00:58:01 Just gonna need a lot of bags, a huge label maker...
1090 00:58:03 -...but I'll make it happen. -Hola, housekeeping!
1091 00:58:08 -Turndown service. -That's Dixon and Hauser.
1092 00:58:11 We've gotta go!
1093 00:58:14 Hurry!
1094 00:58:16 Open up!
1095 00:58:19 Goddamn it.
1096 00:58:23 Dang it! Bring the bag!
1097 00:58:36 Dixon. Dixon!
1098 00:58:44 Goddamn. All right, you go that way. I'll go the other way.
1099 00:58:56 Get down.
1100 00:58:57 I'm trying. It's more far for me.
1101 00:59:03 Got you.
1102 00:59:06 Hey, Chiquita, get back.
1103 00:59:08 Hauser, you don't wanna do this.
1104 00:59:10 You've already killed one fellow officer today.
1105 00:59:12 Yeah, but they say it only hurts the first time.
1106 00:59:16 Hey, I was just coming...
1107 00:59:18 I told you you should've stayed behind a desk, Coop.
1108 00:59:20 Son of a...
1109 00:59:26 -I'll call you. -How you gonna find me?
1110 00:59:28 I'll run your plates!
1111 00:59:29 I'd like that.
1112 00:59:32 Did you see that? This is what we gotta do.
1113 00:59:34 We gotta get a taxi or a shuttle or something.
1114 00:59:37 Okay, last call.
1115 00:59:43 I need a taxi. Sorry, this is important.
1116 00:59:46 Hi, I want to get in this bus.
1117 00:59:49 -Really? -Mm-hm.
1118 00:59:50 Okay, welcome aboard.
1119 00:59:53 I'm gonna need a taxi to Dallas.
1120 00:59:55 Hey! Hey!
1121 00:59:58 Come back here!
1122 01:00:01 Hey! Get out of the way.
1123 01:00:06 -I gotta get up there! -Close the door!
1124 01:00:08 She looks like that dirty cop in the news.
1125 01:00:10 No! I'm a big fan of, um...
1126 01:00:13 ...Cowboy Noiz.
1127 01:00:14 I'm the biggest fan they have, I wanna get up close and personal with them.
1128 01:00:18 -I'm sorry but this is... -Well, you let her on!
1129 01:00:20 Did she promise you favors?
1130 01:00:22 Because I can promise you a good time too. I'm a lady...
1131 01:00:25 -I'm a lady looking for action. -Okay...
1132 01:00:28 Some sex-type action. Giving and receiving of sex.
1133 01:00:33 Now, I'm just gonna bang everybody's brains out in there...
1134 01:00:36 ...and lots of dirty, dirty sex stuff.
1135 01:00:40 Like cracking the eggs...
1136 01:00:42 ...and doing the pirate hunt in the general area of the heinie.
1137 01:00:45 That's supposed to be a key. I think this goes into the patootie.
1138 01:00:49 -Okay. -Okay.
1139 01:00:56 -Morning. -How are you, ma'am?
1140 01:00:59 That was really sexy.
1141 01:01:01 I don't wanna hear it out of you. I don't wanna hear anything out of you.
1142 01:01:04 From here to Dallas, we ride in silence.
1143 01:01:07 All right, ladies and gentlemen, we're about to begin our audio tour.
1144 01:01:11 Please make sure your headphones are plugged in...
1145 01:01:14 -I can't wait to hear this! -Yeah, to get bored to death.
1146 01:01:17 Did you even have a brother?
1147 01:01:19 You don't deserve to know anything about him.
1148 01:01:22 Did your husband kill your brother?
1149 01:01:24 You don't even understand.
1150 01:01:25 Why don't you go back to your tiny little desk and your tiny little life?
1151 01:01:30 I have a job to do, except now it's different.
1152 01:01:33 Instead of being my witness, you're my prisoner.
1153 01:01:35 If we get to Dallas and you don't wanna testify,
1154 01:01:37 you can go straight to jail.
1155 01:01:45 Don't ever talk about my father like that again.
1156 01:01:48 What the hell? You speak Spanish.
1157 01:01:50 What, the white girl can't take a Spanish class in high school?
1158 01:01:53 I know everything you said about me.
1159 01:01:55 And no, I'm not an idiot, and no, I don't have a flat ass.
1160 01:02:31 Oh, man.
1161 01:02:34 Do not pull over. That's an order.
1162 01:02:41 -Aah! -Get out of the way!
1163 01:02:44 Oh, my God! Aah!
1164 01:02:47 Oh, no!
1165 01:02:48 Is that our bus driver?
1166 01:02:51 Okay! Uh-
1167 01:02:52 I can't reach the pedals.
1168 01:02:54 -I can't reach the pedals! -Get up! Get up!
1169 01:02:57 -Sit in my lap! I'll drive! Get on top of me! -Okay.
1170 01:03:02 Ladies and gentlemen, I have commandeered the vehicle.
1171 01:03:04 Keep your teeth in your mouth, butts in your seats.
1172 01:03:06 Speed up! Speed up!
1173 01:03:10 Oh, no, here they come! I gotta get my gun!
1174 01:03:12 -Come on. -Cooper's driving. Whoa, whoa.
1175 01:03:16 Stop flipping your ponytail in my face! I can't see!
1176 01:03:20 She's such a good driver.
1177 01:03:22 There, I got it. Okay! Okay!
1178 01:03:24 Move your ponytail! I can't see!
1179 01:03:27 Let's do it like that.
1180 01:03:29 No, no! Your hand's in my face.
1181 01:03:30 -Take the shot! -How if you don't keep it steady?
1182 01:03:32 I'm trying! She's moving!
1183 01:03:36 I gotta get a better shot.
1184 01:03:37 Hurry up! Give me, give me the wheel!
1185 01:03:40 I can't see!
1186 01:03:44 Oh!
1187 01:03:46 Okay. I think I got him.
1188 01:03:47 -Shoot him again. -Move.
1189 01:03:50 Dang it! My gun.
1190 01:03:51 Scoot over, I'm gonna drive!
1191 01:03:53 -I'll drive! -No, let me drive.
1192 01:03:54 Wait, he's coming back! Here he comes!
1193 01:03:56 -What do I do? -I don't know!
1194 01:04:00 We're gonna bump him, okay?
1195 01:04:01 -One, two, three! -One, two, three. Go!
1196 01:04:05 -Dang it. -We did it.
1197 01:04:22 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1198 01:04:27 Oh, my God.
1199 01:04:28 -My feet got stuck. -What?
1200 01:04:30 -My feet got stuck! I can't pull it out! -Pull it out!
1201 01:04:33 Hit the brake!
1202 01:04:35 -Stop! -Get out of the way!
1203 01:04:39 -Look out for the truck! -Watch it!
1204 01:04:49 -Aah! -Aah! Step on the brake!
1205 01:05:00 -Again. Again. -We did it.
1206 01:05:02 We did it!
1207 01:05:05 Move! Move!
1208 01:05:07 Is everybody okay back there?
1209 01:05:09 Yeah.
1210 01:05:10 It's kind of hard to tell with some of y'all!
1211 01:05:13 We did it.
1212 01:05:14 Oh!
1213 01:05:16 Is that part of the tour?
1214 01:05:19 Is she breathing?
1215 01:05:21 Do you think she has any snacks?
1216 01:05:23 Why would you ask that?
1217 01:05:25 Well, I don't know.
1218 01:05:47 So you had your husband killed?
1219 01:05:53 Why don't write this in your little diary:
1220 01:05:56 I didn't kill Felipe.
1221 01:05:58 They were supposed to go in to kidnap me, take me out of there.
1222 01:06:02 Oh, my God.
1223 01:06:03 Cortez killed your brother, and now you're gonna try and kill him.
1224 01:06:07 You don't have to do this, you know. We can put Cortez in jail.
1225 01:06:10 Jail is not good enough for that animal.
1226 01:06:16 You saved my life...
1227 01:06:18 ...so I'm not gonna let them shoot you.
1228 01:06:20 This is the last time I'm gonna do you any favors.
1229 01:06:23 -I'm not gonna let you get away with this. -This is the way it's gonna go.
1230 01:06:28 You're not going to try to stop me.
1231 01:06:33 I would hate to see you dead.
1232 01:06:39 We made a good team.
1233 01:06:43 Mrs. Riva, you don't have to do this.
1234 01:07:06 Damn it.
1235 01:07:09 Breaking news in the Vicente Cortez story:
1236 01:07:11 Following the slaying of lead witness, Felipe Riva...
1237 01:07:14 ...and the disappearance of his wife, Daniella Riva...
1238 01:07:16 ...we are now learning that, without any witnesses...
1239 01:07:19 ...authorities have had no choice but to release Cortez.
1240 01:07:22 Sources say Cortez's daughter, Teresa,
1241 01:07:24 is likely to be celebrating her quinceanera...
1242 01:07:26 ...at the opulent Royal Colfax Hotel.
1243 01:07:28 Meanwhile, law enforcement officials are forced to stand and watch...
1244 01:07:31 Come on. At least we got Dixon and Hauser.
1245 01:07:35 I failed.
1246 01:07:37 No, you didn't. You kept her alive.
1247 01:07:39 Not for long.
1248 01:07:41 She's gonna kill Cortez at his daughter's quinceanera.
1249 01:07:44 Mrs. Riva?
1250 01:07:45 She's a criminal mastermind now?
1251 01:07:47 She's gonna kill Cortez?
1252 01:07:48 I know it seems hard to believe, but there's more to her than you think.
1253 01:07:52 We have to do something about it, captain.
1254 01:07:54 Look, you're now clear of all charges.
1255 01:07:56 Your father would be very proud.
1256 01:07:58 It's time for you to go home and get some sleep.
1257 01:08:00 I can't sleep knowing she might kill somebody or...
1258 01:08:03 This isn't our jurisdiction. It's the DEA's problem now.
1259 01:08:06 And even if you're right...
1260 01:08:07 ...maybe this is the universe's way of cleaning this up.
1261 01:08:10 If I could just go there...
1262 01:08:12 That's impossible. Security'll be too tight.
1263 01:08:15 You know what you should be thinking about? Your next beat.
1264 01:08:18 You're out of the evidence room. Congratulations.
1265 01:08:21 Now turn in your I.R.L. Take your promotion.
1266 01:08:23 Go home.
1267 01:08:57 Turn around.
1268 01:09:08 She's clear.
1269 01:09:37 Daniella, what happened?
1270 01:09:39 I've been worried sick.
1271 01:09:40 Vicente, I never wanted to testify.
1272 01:09:43 I begged Felipe not to betray you, but he wouldn't listen to me.
1273 01:09:47 Now I'm all alone.
1274 01:09:49 I'm here for you, carino.
1275 01:09:52 Meet me in the next room...
1276 01:09:54 ...so we can speak privately.
1277 01:09:56 I want to thank you for your loyalty.
1278 01:10:11 Okay?
1279 01:10:18 Chica. Psst.
1280 01:10:23 Why do you look like Jose Bieber?
1281 01:10:25 How did you get in here?
1282 01:10:27 -Nothing here. -Yup, nothing there.
1283 01:10:29 -Nothing there. -Nothing.
1284 01:10:31 -He's clear. -What?
1285 01:10:32 -You're the one who told me I look like a boy. -That's not what I meant.
1286 01:10:36 But I'm totally crushing it as a dude.
1287 01:10:39 That little fake mustache you put on is perfect.
1288 01:10:41 I don't have a fake mustache.
1289 01:10:42 -Let me touch it. Let me touch it. -Come.
1290 01:10:48 This is a suicide mission.
1291 01:10:50 -I don't care. -I do care.
1292 01:10:51 You're kind of mean,
1293 01:10:52 and I only understand about 30 percent of what you're saying...
1294 01:10:55 ...but somewhere, around there, there is a heart.
1295 01:10:59 Don't try and kill Cortez. I have a better idea.
1296 01:11:01 It's here in my tighty whities.
1297 01:11:03 It's stuck.
1298 01:11:07 You want me to wear a wire?
1299 01:11:09 Yes, but I'm not exactly sure where we're gonna put it.
1300 01:11:12 I told you to stay away from me.
1301 01:11:15 This is too dangerous.
1302 01:11:16 Wait a second. We're gonna do this together.
1303 01:11:18 I'll create a distraction
1304 01:11:20 and you'll get Cortez to confess to killing your brother.
1305 01:11:22 We can put him away for good.
1306 01:11:26 Okay.
1307 01:11:34 It works best if you put it in the upper thigh.
1308 01:11:36 Or the chestal area.
1309 01:11:39 Are you doing it?
1310 01:11:40 Yes! That's it.
1311 01:11:41 So you're just gonna squish it way down there.
1312 01:11:44 No! Shove it all the way in! Do it like I showed you.
1313 01:11:47 Just pull them apart and then shove it back in. Let me see it.
1314 01:11:50 You pervert.
1315 01:11:51 Get out of here!
1316 01:11:52 You and your perverted little mustache. Get out!
1317 01:11:56 Come on. Didn't your mother teach you manners?
1318 01:11:58 Aah! Dang it!
1319 01:12:03 Look at this photo.
1320 01:12:04 Oh, my gosh! He totally photobombed you.
1321 01:12:06 I didn't even see that.
1322 01:12:07 Oh, he's cute.
1323 01:12:09 Well, actually, heh, maybe I'll introduce you.
1324 01:12:13 -We should go back. -No way. Oh, man.
1325 01:12:28 Excuse me, coming through.
1326 01:12:29 -Pick up your feet. -These shoes are a safety hazard.
1327 01:12:32 Keep it moving.
1328 01:12:37 Wanna dance?
1329 01:12:38 Captain Emmett.
1330 01:12:40 -Cooper, what are you doing here? -I'm glad you're here.
1331 01:12:43 -I knew you would believe me. -I told you to go home.
1332 01:12:46 No, you're not gonna need your weapon right now.
1333 01:12:49 What are you doing?
1334 01:13:04 You don't follow orders, do you?
1335 01:13:06 Well, maybe you will now. Outside, quickly and quietly.
1336 01:13:09 -I don't believe this. -Just relax.
1337 01:13:13 I trusted you.
1338 01:13:15 My father trusted you.
1339 01:13:17 We're just going outside to find someplace to talk.
1340 01:13:21 Don't make me use this.
1341 01:13:23 Ladies and gentleman, Miss Teresa Cortez!
1342 01:13:33 -Come on. -Aah!
1343 01:13:47 First of all, I want to thank everyone for coming.
1344 01:13:50 Second, Elsa Munez,
1345 01:13:51 I hope you're watching on YouTube...
1346 01:13:53 ...because you weren't invited.
1347 01:13:54 And you won't be until you apologize to Patricia.
1348 01:13:57 All right, party people. Now it's time for the surprise dance.
1349 01:14:04 Let's go. Let's go.
1350 01:14:10 Teresa!
1351 01:14:12 Hey, what do you think you're doing?
1352 01:14:28 Are we alone?
1353 01:14:30 Where are your men?
1354 01:14:32 Enjoying the Party.
1355 01:14:37 Out of the way!
1356 01:14:40 -Aah! -Shouldn't have been this hard.
1357 01:14:43 You were supposed to go to Riva's...
1358 01:14:45 ...write in your little notebook, and leave.
1359 01:14:47 But you just had to show up early.
1360 01:14:49 You're working for a drug lord. You're killing people.
1361 01:14:52 See, that's your problem.
1362 01:14:53 You're too by-the-book.
1363 01:14:55 There are cops that understand the gray area...
1364 01:14:58 ...and cops who have to be eliminated.
1365 01:15:00 And not everybody wants to die...
1366 01:15:02 ...a poor, happy Boy Scout like your father.
1367 01:15:10 -That make you feel better? -No, but this does!
1368 01:15:17 You just got Coopered, bitch!
1369 01:15:26 What do you think that you're...?
1370 01:15:30 Get out of the way!
1371 01:15:32 Come on. Relax, carino.
1372 01:15:43 You could be anywhere in the world right now.
1373 01:15:47 Why did you come back?
1374 01:15:51 Well...
1375 01:15:55 ...like you said:
1376 01:15:57 "Family is everything."
1377 01:16:02 And you took mine away from me.
1378 01:16:04 You killed my brother...
1379 01:16:08 Well, the good news is you're about to see him again.
1380 01:16:11 Drop your weapon!
1381 01:16:32 Your brother was a coward...
1382 01:16:34 ...crying like a baby.
1383 01:16:39 He begged for his life.
1384 01:16:43 Now you will do the same.
1385 01:16:47 Never.
1386 01:17:04 Vicente Cortez, you're under arrest...
1387 01:17:07 ...for murder and attempted murder, and I'll figure out the rest later.
1388 01:17:16 Miss Riva.
1389 01:17:17 Put the gun down.
1390 01:17:20 If you pull that trigger, you'll go to jail for the rest of your life.
1391 01:17:26 Think about what you're doing.
1392 01:17:30 He killed my brother.
1393 01:17:33 He killed the only family I had.
1394 01:17:35 I can't let him live.
1395 01:17:43 And I can't let you kill him.
1396 01:17:45 Don't make me stop you.
1397 01:17:47 I'm asking you for the last time.
1398 01:17:50 Put the gun down.
1399 01:18:10 You won't regret this. I promise.
1400 01:18:29 -Are you kidding me? -What?
1401 01:18:34 You made me not kill him so that you get to kill him?
1402 01:18:38 I get to kill him?
1403 01:18:39 I just saved your life!
1404 01:18:41 I have been waiting for six years for this moment...
1405 01:18:44 ...and you come at the last second and ruin it?
1406 01:18:46 I just took a bullet for you!
1407 01:18:48 You took a bullet for me? It went right through you and hit me!
1408 01:18:51 Because your stupid little skinny arms cannot even stop a bullet!
1409 01:18:54 -Wait a second. -What?
1410 01:18:55 I got shot?
1411 01:18:57 -I got shot. -Yeah, you little cucaracha.
1412 01:18:59 Oh, my God. I didn't even feel it.
1413 01:19:01 -You need to sit down. -Okay.
1414 01:19:03 It's gonna be okay. Just sit down.
1415 01:19:09 -Come here, Cooper. -Ugh. Ow.
1416 01:19:10 It's not that bad, you're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine, Cooper.
1417 01:19:15 Rose.
1418 01:19:17 What?
1419 01:19:18 My name is Rose.
1420 01:19:22 Don't look. Don't look. Don't look.
1421 01:19:26 Just hold it there.
1422 01:19:40 Officer Cooper here for a Bravo 6971.
1423 01:19:43 You're Cooper? The Cooper?
1424 01:19:46 Yes, but let me explain.
1425 01:19:47 That civilian came out of nowhere and said, "Shotgun, "
1426 01:19:50 and I did not know...
1427 01:19:52 You took down Vicente Cortez!
1428 01:19:55 Oh, yes, that is me.
1429 01:19:56 So nice to meet you.
1430 01:19:58 Nice to meet you too.
1431 01:19:59 I heard you took a bullet.
1432 01:20:00 She did not take a bullet.
1433 01:20:02 She just slowed it down.
1434 01:20:05 Hello, Miss Riva.
1435 01:20:06 You gotta be kidding me.
1436 01:20:08 You look like a sexy traffic cone.
1437 01:20:10 I do not believe they'll let you leave in that outfit.
1438 01:20:13 Oh, no? What are you gonna do? Are you gonna call a 10-545?
1439 01:20:17 Or, a 75-49?
1440 01:20:19 Okay, all right.
1441 01:20:21 One for the road, honey.
1442 01:20:22 Ay, Brenda, Brenda, Brenda.
1443 01:20:26 Mm.
1444 01:20:28 I'm going to miss you.
1445 01:20:29 Don't forget everything I taught you.
1446 01:20:32 First is the toner and then...
1447 01:20:34 -...the sunscreen. -The sunscreen. I remember!
1448 01:20:38 -Ciao, Jimmy! -Ciao, ciao.
1449 01:20:40 God, I'm gonna miss her.
1450 01:20:43 Get your ass back in that cell!
1451 01:20:46 Thank you.
1452 01:20:47 Well, seems like you did very well for yourself.
1453 01:20:50 Well, I am the lady who knows the lady who took down Vicente Cortez.
1454 01:20:55 I had a bird, I had the Time Warner...
1455 01:20:58 Actually, I'm kind of, like, annoyed...
1456 01:21:00 ...that they only gave me three months for obstructing your justice.
1457 01:21:04 Maybe now you'll be on the straight and narrow.
1458 01:21:06 Please, I'm always going to have some curves.
1459 01:21:09 Well, there's one thing you're gonna need either way:
1460 01:21:13 -The right pair of shoes. -Aah!
1461 01:21:16 How did you...?
1462 01:21:18 Must have gotten lost in evidence.
1463 01:21:21 I can't believe that you broke your little book of rules for me.
1464 01:21:24 All right, keep it down.
1465 01:21:26 Exactly how many times did you broke the rules?
1466 01:21:29 I mean, exactly how many pairs of times?
1467 01:21:31 Well, I got you the sparkly stilettos to go out...
1468 01:21:34 ...the sparkly stilettos to stay in...
1469 01:21:36 ...and, of course, the corky wedges.
1470 01:21:38 I mean, I could kiss you right now.
1471 01:21:41 But I remember that was not your strong suit.
1472 01:21:43 Please don't.
1473 01:21:46 You know, you seem different now.
1474 01:21:48 I do? How?
1475 01:21:51 Taller.
1476 01:21:53 Mm.
1477 01:21:59 Oh, look at you. You're such a badass now, breaking all the rules.
1478 01:22:03 I'll have you know, too, I've also broken some other rules.
1479 01:22:06 I'm breaking a 10-66 right now.
1480 01:22:08 Oh, harboring a fugitive?
1481 01:22:14 -Can't just tap the brake, can you, sweetheart? -Sorry, honey.
1482 01:22:18 Oh!
1483 01:22:20 What is he doing here?
1484 01:22:22 We're keeping our relationship a bit under the radar.
1485 01:22:24 -We're not ready to go public yet. -Hola, cowboy.
1486 01:22:29 All right, all right. And technically he is not a fugitive.
1487 01:22:32 I helped him get off.
1488 01:22:33 Oh, I'm sure you did.
1489 01:22:34 That's disgusting.
1490 01:22:36 Somebody's getting Coopered.
1491 01:22:39 All right, cut it out.
1492 01:22:45 Okay, I might've Coopered him a little.
1493 01:22:55 Clap it.
1494 01:23:06 Now tell me why that bag's so heavy!
1495 01:23:07 Hold on, Reese. We're checking something.
1496 01:23:09 God, I was giving the performance of a lifetime.
1497 01:23:13 Or, I could drive you.
1498 01:23:16 Sorry! Sorry! Okay.
1499 01:23:18 -Oh, yeah. It's there. He left. I think he left. -Ha-ha-ha.
1500 01:23:21 I'll get you... Seriously, motherf...
1501 01:23:24 -Shoot! Shoot! -I'm shooting at him!
1502 01:23:30 Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
1503 01:23:33 So if you want to take me to Dallas to die, take me.
1504 01:23:36 But you're taking me with my...
1505 01:23:38 ...big bag.
1506 01:23:41 What is my word?
1507 01:23:42 -We need to find something of clothes. -Yes.
1508 01:23:45 -No, that's not the line. -Still rolling!
1509 01:23:49 You see, once a month my uterus shreds...
1510 01:23:54 Yep, her uterus.
1511 01:23:56 It shreds, huh?
1512 01:23:58 -It must hurt. Does that hurt? -I'm just saying...
1513 01:24:01 ...I wouldn't let the fact that I have a little cuca
1514 01:24:04 get in the way of my dream.
1515 01:24:05 That means "a dream." One second.
1516 01:24:07 -Of your DVD? -I forgot.
1517 01:24:09 Here's a blanket.
1518 01:24:12 Oh, my God!
1519 01:24:13 What, a hot girl can't read the whole...
1520 01:24:23 I had a stroke.
1521 01:24:33 Now you're mouthing the words.
1522 01:24:42 No, that doesn't make any sense.
1523 01:24:47 Why do you look like you're in Menudo?
1524 01:24:49 Well, why do you look like Bruno Mars?
1525 01:24:51 Why do you look like Marc Anthony?
1526 01:24:53 Let me do it again.
1527 01:24:54 Here.
1528 01:24:57 You...
1529 01:24:59 I have a better idea.
1530 01:25:03 Your hair.
1531 01:25:04 Every time you come up, your hair is different.
1532 01:25:07 Who are you talking to?
1533 01:25:12 I can't remember my next line.
1534 01:25:15 What's my next line?
1535 01:25:17 Oh, yeah, right.
