下流祖父(Dirty Grandpa)(CN)Subtitles

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1 00:02:15 然后我说 "如果该法庭"So I said, "If opposing counsel's
2 00:02:17 "准备就兰德格拉夫起诉亨森一案""Invoking fiduciary liability precedent
3 00:02:20 "开先例的话""Under the terms of landgraf v. Henson,
4 00:02:21 "法官大人 请便吧""Your honor, please, by all means, go ahead,
5 00:02:24 "直接驳回原告的请求""Rescind the plaintiff's de facto petition
6 00:02:27 "给他开限制令""For injunctive relief."
7 00:02:29 太搞笑了 太搞笑了It was fun. It was fun. Yeah.
8 00:02:30 失陪一下 先生们 我呆会再来Excuse me, gentlemen. I'll be right back.
9 00:02:32 真搞笑 "限制令"So funny. "Injunctive relief."
10 00:02:34 正中我的笑点That tickled my funny bone.
11 00:02:38 你好啊 尼克What's up, Nick?
12 00:02:40 参加祖母的葬礼真是不好受 对吧 ?Fucking sucks dick about grandma, huh?
13 00:02:44 是的Yeah.
14 00:02:45 祖母就这样被谋杀了Old woman fucking murdered like that.
15 00:02:47 尼克 她是因癌症去世的Nick, she had cancer.
16 00:02:49 这只是他们表面的说辞而已That's what they want you to think.
17 00:02:51 她患了10年的癌症了She had cancer for 10 years.
18 00:02:54 死亡时间太巧了 杰森A little too convenient, Jason.
19 00:02:56 完全不巧的No, it's not, at all.
20 00:02:59 我们永远也不会知道真相了We'll never know the truth.
21 00:03:01 我们当然知道真相We absolutely know the truth. Yeah.
22 00:03:03 祖母患了10年的癌症去世了Grandma had cancer for 10 years.
23 00:03:05 癌症又杀不死人 杰森 !You don't just die from cancer, Jason!
24 00:03:07 有幕后阴谋的 老兄It's a conspiracy, man.
25 00:03:10 就像911事件一样Just like 9/11.
26 00:03:12 天啊Oh, god.
27 00:03:15 告诉大家一件事 祖母的死因没这么简单For your information, grandma is not right here.
28 00:03:17 祖母被别人杀害了Grandma is gone and she was taken from us.
29 00:03:19 - 我们必须找出幕后凶手 - 尼克 !And we must find the man that did this. Nick! Nick!
30 00:03:21 - 快停下 - 嗷 !Stop it. Ow, man!
31 00:03:23 这鞋是美邦的There are rockport's.
32 00:03:25 我花钱新买的Fuck, man. I just got these.
33 00:03:26 冷静点...Calm down...
34 00:03:27 十字路口见了 祖母I'll see you at the crossroads, grandma.
35 00:03:29 你干嘛 ? 你非得挑现在发疯 ?What are you doing? Are you kidding me? Right now?
36 00:03:32 你给我振作点 !Hey, get your shit together!
37 00:03:34 我老爸和我未婚妻My dad and my fiancee
38 00:03:35 就站在我们旁边呢are literally standing right next to us.
39 00:03:37 - 碧昂斯在这 ? - 没Beyonce's here? No.
40 00:03:39 你老爸和未婚妻邀请碧昂斯了 ?Your dad and fiancee are saying yes to Beyonce?
41 00:03:40 啥 ? 没What? No.
42 00:03:42 - 那Jay-Z也在这 ? - 你搞错了 尼克Is Jay-Z here, too? No, Nick.
43 00:03:43 - 那布鲁·艾薇也在 ? - 尼克Is blue Ivy here? Nick.
44 00:03:45 我是少数派 我觉得他俩的女儿长大后肯定很性感I'm in the minority. I think their kid's gonna be hot.
45 00:03:49 - 这是啥 ? - 嗯 ?What is that? Hmm?
46 00:03:52 - 你干嘛呢 ? - 我只是What are you doing? I'm just...
47 00:03:53 你已经嗑嗨了 ?Are you fucking high right now?
48 00:03:54 没有 这又不是...No, this isn't...
49 00:03:56 - 你已经嗑嗨了 - 这是电子香烟You're high as a kite! It's an e-cigarette.
50 00:03:58 虽然里面装了点大麻 不过的确是电子香烟It's filled with a little weed, but it's an e-cigarette.
51 00:03:59 成熟点吧 老兄 别这样Grow up, man! What are you doing?
52 00:04:01 "成熟点" ? 你又有多大 ?"Grow up"? How adult are you?
53 00:04:04 你有没有过坐在沃尔沃里听国家公共电台 ?What, do you listen to npr in your Volvo?
54 00:04:06 - 有没有过和客户打回力网球You play racquetball competitively
55 00:04:08 - 还拼尽全力 ? - 没against business associates? No. No.
56 00:04:10 有没有过跟一对夫妻离家出走到一间出租房里You ever go away to a rented house with other couples
57 00:04:12 玩scattergories(一种游戏) 奖品只是一瓶白葡萄酒 ?and then play scattergories over a bottle of white wine?
58 00:04:14 杰森Jason.
59 00:04:16 啊...Uh...
60 00:04:21 我对着你祖母的遗像吐了口烟I just blew a shot at your grandma's memory.
61 00:04:23 尼克 立刻给我振作点Nick, get it together, right now.
62 00:04:25 收敛点Lock it up.
63 00:04:32 我才不抱你I'm not hugging you.
64 00:04:36 如果我抱你 你会不会收敛点 ?If I hug you, will you stop messing around?
65 00:04:44 吸我的二手烟吧 混蛋Crop-dusted, motherfucker.
66 00:04:46 一口老烟喷死你You just got crop-dusted.
67 00:04:48 匿已经吸嗨了You're high now. You're high now.
68 00:04:49 离我远点Hey. Get the fuck away from me.
69 00:04:51 现在我俩都在葬礼上吸嗨了Now we're both high at grandma's funeral.
70 00:04:51 我们已经永远连接在一起了We're bonded for life.
71 00:04:51 戴夫叔叔 十分抱歉 我们今天实在是太难过了Uncle Dave, I'm sorry, man. It's a tough day.
72 00:05:20 可怜的祖父...Poor grandpa...
73 00:05:44 今天的第一段话来自圣经申命记第30章第19节Our first reading is from deuteronomy 30:19.
74 00:05:49 "今日 我呼唤天堂与人世""This day, I call the heavens and the earth
75 00:05:53 "作为你的见证人""As a witness against you..."
76 00:05:57 "...世界早在你出生与死亡之前就已形成""...that I have set before you life and death..."
77 00:05:59 宝贝 我找到了适合你Hey, babe, I found the tie you're going to wear
78 00:06:00 星期天早上彩排的领带to the rehearsal brunch Sunday.
79 00:06:02 你喜欢珊瑚色还是浅橙色 ?Do you like the coral color or the salmon?
80 00:06:06 "...人生的路程并不是冲刺""...that the race is not to the swift..."
81 00:06:07 都可以Either one.
82 00:06:09 "...也不是对抗强敌""...nor the battle to the strong."
83 00:06:11 宝贝 你怎么了 ?Babe, what's wrong?
84 00:06:14 到底想要哪个颜色 ?Coral or salmon?
85 00:06:16 那你喜欢哪个 ?Well, what do you like?
86 00:06:18 我喜欢珊瑚色I mean... I like the coral.
87 00:06:20 我也准备选这个That's what I was going to say, too.
88 00:06:22 - 好的 - 好的Okay, cool. Okay. Okay.
89 00:06:25 就决定是珊瑚色了Coral it is!
90 00:06:29 今天肯定很特别It's going to be a special day.
91 00:06:30 "...选择生命""...now choose life,
92 00:06:33 "才能让自己和孩子存活下去""So that you and your children shall live."
93 00:06:40 总之 我现在搬到瓦尔多斯塔市了Anyway, I'm down in valdosta right now.
94 00:06:42 开了间宠物商店...I opened up a fucking pet shop...
95 00:06:43 说错了 是"幼犬繁殖场"Not pet shop, "Puppy mill."
96 00:06:45 幼犬繁殖场...Puppy mill...
97 00:06:46 虽然这种方式培养的狗名声不好You know, designer dogs get a bad name,
98 00:06:49 但还是能买好大一笔钱but they can go for quite a pretty penny.
99 00:06:51 - 真的吗 ? - 只是想让它们交配很困难Really? It's just hard to get them to mate.
100 00:06:53 - 噢 - 因为Oh. Because the little dogs,
101 00:06:55 小狗不想上大狗they don't wanna fuck the big dogs,
102 00:06:57 而大狗也不想上小狗...and the big dogs, they don't wanna fuck the little dogs...
103 00:06:59 - 所以我得亲自为他们服务 你懂的 - 噢So I got to manually do it, you know. Oh.
104 00:07:02 我得手动给它们嫁接I got to spread and manually shoot in.
105 00:07:04 - 是吗 - 那你又有什么故事 ?Uh-huh. So, what's up with you?
106 00:07:06 我最近挺忙的...Well, I'm keeping pretty busy...
107 00:07:08 很不错 嗨 黛安阿姨Cool. Hey, aunt Diane,
108 00:07:10 - 你好啊 - 嗨 尼克how's it going? Hi, Nick.
109 00:07:11 嗨 尼克Hey, Nick.
110 00:07:13 我只是不明白为什么你非得I just don't understand why you have to drive
111 00:07:14 明天就开车去弗罗里达 老爸down to Florida, tomorrow already, dad!
112 00:07:16 就在葬礼后的第二天We just had the funeral.
113 00:07:17 你祖母和我每年Your grandmother and I were there
114 00:07:18 都会去那里at this time every year.
115 00:07:20 她今年肯定也希望我去It's what she would have wanted.
116 00:07:21 我很愿意自己开车去I'd drive down myself,
117 00:07:23 只是我的驾照被他们没收了except they took my license away.
118 00:07:25 那为什么非得杰森开车载你去 ?But why does Jason have to be the one to drive you?
119 00:07:27 他工作这么忙...He's so busy at work...
120 00:07:28 而且下周就要结婚了Got the wedding coming up next weekend,
121 00:07:30 还有周五早上的彩排the rehearsal brunch.
122 00:07:31 整个律师所都会来参加的You know, the entire law firm is coming to this.
123 00:07:34 - 是真的 祖父 - 杰森...It's true, grandpa. Jason...
124 00:07:36 - 我们有很多事要忙 梅雷迪斯和我... - 我自己说就行We have a lot of stuff, Meredith and I... I'll handle it.
125 00:07:38 说吧Go ahead.
126 00:07:40 尼克表弟怎么样 ? 老爸How about cousin Nick? Huh, dad?
127 00:07:43 为什么不叫尼克带你去 ?Why doesn't Nick do it?
128 00:07:45 我们店里安了一个巧克力机器We got this chocolate lab down at the store
129 00:07:46 各种恶心that is just so horny,
130 00:07:48 每一次我触碰开关every time I touch the back of its ear,
131 00:07:50 巧克力就会泉涌出来it just gushes cum.
132 00:07:52 - 额 好吧 - 就像潮吹一样...Uh, okay. I mean, like a squirting...
133 00:07:54 这是你的狗 ?Is that your dog?
134 00:07:56 法律规定尼克Nick isn't legally allowed
135 00:07:58 不能出乔治亚州to leave the state of Georgia anymore.
136 00:07:59 从他高中开始我就没见过他了I've barely seen this guy since high school.
137 00:08:02 我干嘛就不能花点时间陪陪他 ?What's wrong with spending some time with him?
138 00:08:03 噢 对你来说 花时间陪家人Oh, so spending time with family
139 00:08:05 突然间就这么重要了 ?is suddenly important to you now?
140 00:08:07 听着 他明天早上来我家吃了早饭Look, he can come here tomorrow morning for breakfast.
141 00:08:09 我们立刻出发晚上就能到目的地We can drive down to boca during the day,
142 00:08:11 或许还能玩几场高尔夫maybe play a round of golf or two,
143 00:08:13 然后第二天他就能回到亚特兰大来then he'd be back here in Atlanta the next day.
144 00:08:15 他可不能连续消失2天He can't just flake off for two days!
145 00:08:17 这风险和回报根本不成正比...The risk versus reward here is just...
146 00:08:19 我觉得不可行I don't see it happening.
147 00:08:21 我只是说 祖母肯定希望我去It's what she would have wanted, that's all.
148 00:08:25 但如果你实在是得为婚礼做准备But if you have to get ready for your wedding,
149 00:08:28 真有这么忙的话...if you're that busy...
150 00:08:38 我只是不懂为啥他非要叫你载他去I just don't understand why he wants you to take him.
151 00:08:40 你俩关系根本就不亲近You're not even that close.
152 00:08:42 我们以前很亲Well, we used to be.
153 00:08:44 我小时候和祖父很合得来Grandpa and I got along growing up.
154 00:08:45 我们每年圣诞节We used to build these
155 00:08:47 都会造这些小火车 所以我准备把这个...model trains every Christmas, so I brought him...
156 00:08:49 我只是觉得Well, it seems like we're cutting it
157 00:08:50 时间安排得有点紧了a little close here, you know,
158 00:08:52 周五的婚礼彩排with the rehearsal brunch on Friday...
159 00:08:53 我知道 我知道I know. I know.
160 00:08:55 顺带一提 我没找到And by the way, I can't find any
161 00:08:57 为放映式准备的of the Martha's vineyard vacation photos
162 00:08:59 玛莎文雅岛的照片for the slide show.
163 00:09:00 我快疯了I'm just freaking out.
164 00:09:01 因为照片都在我电脑上That's because they're on my laptop,
165 00:09:03 就在我手上which I've got right here.
166 00:09:04 我会发给婚礼策划人的So I'll send them to the wedding planner.
167 00:09:06 你什么都不用担心You don't have to worry about anything.
168 00:09:07 谢谢 噢 你爸说叫你上75公路 16公路会堵车Thanks. Oh, and your dad says take 75, because 16 takes forever.
169 00:09:11 嗯 我知道 他把路线都规划好了Yeah, I know. He's got it all mapped out for me.
170 00:09:13 还有 我俩能换辆车吗 亲爱的 ?And can you take my car, sweetie?
171 00:09:15 我得用SUV去拉红酒Uh, I need the SUV for the wine.
172 00:09:33 祖父 ?Grandpa?
173 00:09:38 祖父 ?Grandpa?
174 00:10:02 祖父 ?Grandpa?
175 00:10:14 嗨 你来了 !Hey! You made it!
176 00:10:17 稍等我下...Give me a minute...
177 00:10:18 我了个去 !Oh, god! Shit!
178 00:10:21 抓我屁股 !Grab my ass!
179 00:10:25 - 准备好上路了 ? - 十分抱歉 祖父You ready to hit the road? I'm really sorry, grandpa.
180 00:10:28 没想到你在看片I didn't think you'd be doing that.
181 00:10:31 啊 你不就是看到我在撸管吗Ah, so you caught me taking a number three.
182 00:10:32 - 有啥大不了的 ? - 撸管 ?Big deal, right? Number three?
183 00:10:35 喝杯酒吧Have a drink.
184 00:10:37 啊 不了 我要开车...Uh... no. I'm driving, so...
185 00:10:40 等我锻炼完I just got to finish up my exercises,
186 00:10:42 然后就上16公路 再驶进95公路and then we'll hop on 16 to 95.
187 00:10:48 老爸说应该先上75公路再转95公路 这样距离更近Dad says we should take 75 to 95. It's more direct.
188 00:10:51 你老爸满口胡言Dad's full of shit.
189 00:10:53 祖父 你确定你没事吗 ?Grandpa, are you sure you're okay?
190 00:10:57 顺带一提 很感谢你愿意载我Thanks for doing this, by the way.
191 00:10:59 车管局的混蛋们Those fuckheads down at the dmv
192 00:11:00 把我的执照没收了took my goddamn license away
193 00:11:02 就因为我有白内障because of these fucking cataracts in my eye.
194 00:11:03 但我技术可好着呢But I can still hit the shit
195 00:11:04 毋庸置疑out of a golf ball, that's for sure!
196 00:11:06 我在弗罗里达预定了I made a tee time for us in Florida
197 00:11:08 今天的下午茶for this afternoon.
198 00:11:09 你可以用你祖母的女士高尔夫球棒You can use your grandmother's lady clubs,
199 00:11:11 就摆在门口的they're right there by the front door.
200 00:11:12 好吧Okay.
201 00:11:15 准备好没 ?All right, you ready?
202 00:11:17 不是要在家里吃早餐吗 ?I thought the plan was to have breakfast here?
203 00:11:19 你手上的就是早餐That's your breakfast.
204 00:11:20 出门坐上你开的那娘炮车Now let's go get in that giant labia you drove up in
205 00:11:22 然后赶紧上路吧and get the fuck out of here.
206 00:11:35 你确定我开车可以喝酒吗 祖父 ?You sure I should be driving with this, grandpa?
207 00:11:38 别担心 如果洒出来了Don't worry, if you spill it,
208 00:11:40 我们开的这辆卫生巾立马就给你吸干了this giant tampon we're driving in should soak it up.
209 00:11:49 等我发完这条Just finishing a work email
210 00:11:53 斯坦哈特案子的工作邮件...for the steinhart file...
211 00:11:59 所以说你现在加入你爸的律师事务所 对吧 ?So you're a lawyer at your dad's firm now, is that right?
212 00:12:02 没错 梅雷迪斯也在里面That's right, and Meredith is too.
213 00:12:03 她老爸是其中一个You know, her dad is one of
214 00:12:04 任事股东 所以说...the managing partners there, so...
215 00:12:06 - 我知道 挺不错的 - 嗯I know, that's... Yeah.
216 00:12:09 这安排真是太方便了It couldn't have worked out better.
217 00:12:11 我只是想着Because it's just that I remember
218 00:12:12 你高中的时候when you were in high school,
219 00:12:13 告诉我说你有多想成为摄影师you told me how much you wanted to be a photographer,
220 00:12:15 出去周游世界之类的travel the world. That sort of thing.
221 00:12:17 你还记得当时我给你订购的You remember when I got you that subscription
222 00:12:19 <<时代杂志>>吗 ?to time magazine?
223 00:12:21 嗯 我以前是很喜欢摄影 但是...Yeah, I used to be into photography, but, um...
224 00:12:24 老爸是学法律的 所以说I mean, with dad being at the firm, pfft,
225 00:12:26 在大学里把专业it just made so much more sense
226 00:12:28 选成法律学to focus on a college curriculum
227 00:12:30 毕业后简单得多that stressed the law school track.
228 00:12:31 不过我很热爱我的工作 祖父I mean, I love what I do, grandpa.
229 00:12:33 作为公司律师可好玩了Being a corporate lawyer is awesome,
230 00:12:34 我可以应付证券交易委员会的投诉...I get to handle sec compliance...
231 00:12:36 - 哇塞 ! - 是啊No shit! Yeah. Yeah.
232 00:12:38 你可以应付证券交易委员会的投诉 ?You handle sec compliance?
233 00:12:40 劳动合约Lp agreements.
234 00:12:42 老天啊 我之前都不知道Oh, man, I didn't know that.
235 00:12:44 - 企业合约 - 开玩笑的吧 !Llc agreements. You're shitting me!
236 00:12:46 当公司律师是有好处的Being a corporate lawyer, it's got its upsides.
237 00:12:49 知道我更愿意做什么吗 ?You know what I'd rather do?
238 00:12:50 什么 ?What?
239 00:12:52 我宁愿让奎恩·拉提法在空中I'd rather let queen latifah shit in my mouth
240 00:12:55 一泡屎拉我嘴里from a fucking hot air balloon.
241 00:12:58 好了 我要去那边的贩酒店That's me. I'm gonna hit the liquor store over there,
242 00:13:00 再买点烈性酒get some more of the creature.
243 00:13:01 5分钟后在娘炮车上见面Meet you back at the dildomobile in five.
244 00:13:03 你来买单 再见You're paying the check, Alan douche-owitz.
245 00:13:08 我认识那男的 他好面熟Where do I know that guy from? He looks so familiar.
246 00:13:11 他简直就一小白脸He looks like Abercrombie fucked Fitch.
247 00:13:13 没错 还整一娘炮Mmm, yeah, while j.Crew j'd-off.
248 00:13:16 我去 想起来了 他特别搞笑Shit! No, you guys, he was... It's so funny.
249 00:13:18 他是我大一时期的He was my lab partner
250 00:13:20 摄影课搭档in photography class, freshman year.
251 00:13:23 我去 他是弗罗里达毕业生 ?No shit! He's a Florida alum?
252 00:13:25 丽诺尔 这是你完成三连斩的好机会啊Lenore, you can totally finish the trifecta.
253 00:13:27 我的天 我已经上过毕业生了 忘了吗 ?Oh, my god, I already have alum, remember?
254 00:13:29 我上了那个离婚后一直在哭的男人 托尼I fucked that crying divorced guy, Tony.
255 00:13:32 - 蛋蛋挺大那个 - 嗯With the big balls. Right. Yeah.
256 00:13:33 - 在卫生间上的 - 嗯In the porta-potty. Yeah.
257 00:13:35 - 就坐在马桶上 - 嗯At the tailgate. Yeah.
258 00:13:36 我还差教授I need a professor.
259 00:13:38 等下 三连斩指的是哪3个 ?Wait, I'm sorry. What's the trifecta again?
260 00:13:40 我在书上看到的It's this thing I read about
261 00:13:43 我在大四的时候必须上一个新生where in my senior year I have to fuck a freshman,
262 00:13:45 和一个毕业生 以及一名教授an alumni, and a professor.
263 00:13:47 - 哪本书写的 ? - 我的日记Where did you read that? In my diary.
264 00:13:48 嗯Hmm.
265 00:13:50 - 我自己写的 - 嗯Where I wrote it... Yeah.
266 00:13:52 他以前总是能拍出最美的画像He used to take the most beautiful portraits
267 00:13:55 而且根本不用滤镜或者PSwithout using any filters or Photoshop...
268 00:13:58 我读过你的日记I've read your diary.
269 00:13:59 他特别厉害He was amazing.
270 00:14:00 - 天啊 真的 ? - 是啊Oh, my god, you did? Yeah.
271 00:14:01 你喜欢吗 ?Did you like it?
272 00:14:01 你们根本没在听我说话 我要过去和他打声招呼You guys aren't listening. I'm gonna go say hi to him. Okay?
273 00:14:04 - 好 - 荡妇Cool. Slut...
274 00:14:07 希望你俩白头到老I hope you don't get Tommy hilfingered.
275 00:14:10 虽然迟到了这么多年 不过也算数的That was really late, but it still counts.
276 00:14:13 就和我的月经一样...Just like all my periods...
277 00:14:15 - 噁 - 哈 ?Ew. What?
278 00:14:19 嗨 你好啊 ?Hi. How are you?
279 00:14:22 还好 这里 不用找零了Good. Here you go, you can keep the change.
280 00:14:25 额 我不是...Oh, no, no, no. I'm not... you...
281 00:14:27 啊哈Uh-huh.
282 00:14:30 好吧Okay.
283 00:14:34 额...Um...
284 00:14:36 大伙 听我说Guys? Guys, listen to me.
285 00:14:38 啥 ?What?
286 00:14:39 - 快走 - 啥 ?Let's go. Bitch, what?
287 00:14:41 - 闭嘴 赶紧走 ! - 老天啊 !Shut the fuck up! Go! Oh, my god!
288 00:14:42 等下Wait a minute.
289 00:14:45 吃完了吗 ?You all set?
290 00:14:47 嗯 我把钱给另一个服务员了Yeah, I just gave my money to the other waitress, sorry.
291 00:14:50 这里又没其他服务员There is no other waitress.
292 00:14:53 从开店到现在只有我一个服务员...I'm the only one who's ever worked here. Ever...
293 00:14:56 该死 这破车偏要挑这时候出毛病Shit! The fucking piece of shit car never starts!
294 00:14:58 喂 !Hey!
295 00:15:00 喂 !Hey!
296 00:15:02 我去 他还长得挺帅的God, he's like a mitt romney Terminator.
297 00:15:06 打扰下 !Excuse me!
298 00:15:08 抱歉 我已经下班了Uh, sorry, my shift is actually over, so... sorry...
299 00:15:11 - 噢 不可能吧 - 干嘛 ?Oh, no way. What?
300 00:15:14 - 我认识你 - 才不I know you. No.
301 00:15:16 我记得的 你和我一起上的摄影课Yeah, I do. You were in my photography class.
302 00:15:18 风景项目全被你抢了 对吧 ?You took all those landscapes. Right?
303 00:15:20 沙迪亚Shadia.
304 00:15:22 对 沙迪亚Yeah. Shadia.
305 00:15:24 我去 你是沙迪亚Holy shit, you're shadia?
306 00:15:27 - 嗯 沙迪亚 - 沙迪亚Yeah. Shadia. Shadia.
307 00:15:28 - 千年杀 ! - 你搞什么鬼 !Jamba! What the fuck!
308 00:15:30 沙迪亚 在阿拉伯语里指的是"歌唱家"Shadia. It means "Singer" In arabic.
309 00:15:33 或者是在古阿拉伯语里Or in ancient arabic,
310 00:15:34 "Al-munshida alati tunadi lel-Mei.""Al-munshida alati tunadi lel-Mei."
311 00:15:38 英语里是指"站在水边呼唤的女子"Or, "She whose name calls others to water."
312 00:15:39 没错That's actually right.
313 00:15:40 额 沙迪亚 他是我...Uh, shadia, this is my...
314 00:15:42 理查德博士 我在乔治亚大学教历史Dr. Richards. I teach history at the university of Georgia.
315 00:15:44 你是名教授 ?You're a professor?
316 00:15:47 是啊 怎么了 想我给你加分 ?Yeah. Why? You looking for some extra credit?
317 00:15:50 杰森和我在写一篇关于中东的文章Jason and I are doing a story on the middle east.
318 00:15:52 他是<<时代杂志>>的摄影师He's a photographer for time magazine.
319 00:15:54 知道吗 我的处女是玩宾果游戏输的You know, I lost my virginity at my pop-pop's bingo night.
320 00:15:58 我叫丽诺尔My name's lenore.
321 00:16:00 啊 "光辉的稀有侍女"Ah! "The rare and radiant maiden
322 00:16:01 "被命名为丽诺尔的天使""Whom the angels named lenore."
323 00:16:04 "乌鸦说 永不超生""Quoth the raven, 'nevermore.'"
324 00:16:07 进口货 是吧 ?diplomaticos, huh?
325 00:16:09 你还真懂雪茄Hey, you know your cigars.
326 00:16:12 怎么 你是古巴混血吗 ?What are you, half Cuban or something?
327 00:16:13 的确如此 教授Actually, I am, professor.
328 00:16:18 - 下半身是 - 好吧The bottom half. Okay.
329 00:16:20 - 我们准备上路了 - 嗯Okay, yeah, we're heading out. Yeah.
330 00:16:22 很高兴认识你 我们准备去代托纳比奇玩一周Good to see you. We're going to Daytona beach for the week.
331 00:16:24 老天啊 我们早在3小时前Oh, my god, and we should have been there
332 00:16:25 就应该到目的地了three fucking hours ago,
333 00:16:26 赶紧上路吧 小婊砸们so let's go, bitches!
334 00:16:28 - 我去 - 干嘛 ?Holy shit. What?
335 00:16:31 没啥 你只是一身Gay气Nothing. You're just really gay.
336 00:16:33 噢 是吗 你观察力真强啊Oh, am I? Thanks, captain gaydar.
337 00:16:36 我的天 我还是黑人呢 对吧 ?Jesus! You know, I'm also black, right?
338 00:16:39 是啊 的确很搞笑Yeah, I know. That's funny, too.
339 00:16:41 你们要不要和我们一起 ?So you guys wanna tag along for a bit maybe?
340 00:16:44 再传点后代进我们肚子里 ?Party some babies into us?
341 00:16:46 - 绝对不要 ! - 绝对不要 !Absolutely not! Absolutely not!
342 00:16:47 - 为什么 ? - 我们Why? We have
343 00:16:49 - 有场非常重要的下午茶 - 少来了a very important tee time. Of course you do.
344 00:16:52 难道你玩麻将之前还要小憩一会吗 ?And do you also have to take a nap before you play mahjong?
345 00:16:53 - 不是 是去玩沙狐球 - 沙狐球No, it's shuffleboard. Shuffleboard.
346 00:16:55 然后4点还要吃晚餐And then early dinner at 4:00.
347 00:16:56 我们有个打了好久的赌 谁高尔夫技术更好We have a long-standing bet. Who's the better golfer.
348 00:16:59 很显然我的球杆更好...Obviously I've got the bigger 3-wood...
349 00:17:01 很好 用你的球杆把你的球Good. Maybe you can use it to hit your balls
350 00:17:02 击进我阴道里吧right into my vagina.
351 00:17:04 - 我去 ! - 好了 进车里来吧Holy shit! Okay, we're going inside now.
352 00:17:06 - 老天啊 ! - 走了 玩够了Jesus! Let's go. That's enough.
353 00:17:07 - 拜 教授 - 多谢你请客吃午餐Bye, professor. Thanks for lunch.
354 00:17:09 再见 !Peace!
355 00:17:13 - 那女孩不错 - 嗯Nice girl. Yeah.
356 00:17:28 我看上去如何 ?Well? How do I look?
357 00:17:32 基得不行Like the keynote speaker at a buttfucking convention.
358 00:17:34 - 啥 ? - 啥 ?What? What?
359 00:17:35 - 啥 ? - 啥 ?What? What?
360 00:17:37 我们开车去第一洞We're gonna write in the first hole,
361 00:17:39 很简单的it's an easy par-4.
362 00:17:40 - 不行 不行 - 上车No, no, no, no. Hey... Jump in.
363 00:17:42 这样是违反规则的 祖父This is against the rules, grandpa.
364 00:17:43 去他妈的规则 赶紧上车Fuck the rules. Jump in. Come on.
365 00:17:45 而且破坏了高尔夫礼节Not to mention, a breach in golf etiquette.
366 00:17:47 哔哔哔哔 !Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!
367 00:17:49 - 喔 喂 ! - 别挡路 基佬们 !Whoa! Hey! Out of my way, buttfuckers!
368 00:17:51 搞错没 ? 你干嘛呢 ?Really? What are you doing?
369 00:17:53 我得送这货去参加基佬大会We gotta get this guy to his buttfucking convention.
370 00:17:55 你干嘛呢 老兄 ?What are you trying to do, man?
371 00:17:56 干嘛横冲直撞的 ?What was that all about?
372 00:17:58 嘿 这挥杆动作帅极了Hey. Now there's a million-dollar swing!
373 00:18:00 抱歉I'm sorry! Um...
374 00:18:02 你们先来吧You can go in front of us if you want to.
375 00:18:03 我们技术实在不好We are not very good.
376 00:18:05 没 挥杆动作很好No, it's a good cut,
377 00:18:07 你只是下蹲得不够深you're just not bending your knees enough.
378 00:18:09 我是职业高尔夫球员 介意我教你吗 ?I'm a licensed golf pro. You mind if I show you?
379 00:18:11 好啊 麻烦了Yes, please.
380 00:18:14 再蹲下去一点 对Maybe bend over a little bit... here.
381 00:18:16 这样感觉才对 对吧 ?That feels about right, doesn't it?
382 00:18:18 手抓住球杆 球杆Hands on my shaft... The shaft.
383 00:18:21 等我也抓住Let me just get my finger in there.
384 00:18:23 1 2 3...One, two, three...
385 00:18:25 噢 !Oh!
386 00:18:27 - 天啊 ! 你看到没 ? - 是啊Oh, my god! Did you see that? Oh. Yeah.
387 00:18:29 谢谢你 !Thank you!
388 00:18:30 你教高尔夫多久了 ?How long have you been teaching golf?
389 00:18:32 以前从宇航员退休起就开始了Ever since I retired from being an astronaut.
390 00:18:35 很高兴能在这见到你们这样优秀的选手It's nice to see some heavenly bodies around here too.
391 00:18:38 喂 祖父 你难道不觉得Hey, grandpa, don't you think we should
392 00:18:40 我们应该自己开始打了吗... 搞毛啊 ?probably start golfing soon... What the fuck?
393 00:18:43 帮我去捡下好吗 乖 ?Wanna be a lamb and get that for me?
394 00:18:44 他刚才称你为"祖父" ?Did he just call you "Grandpa"?
395 00:18:46 谁 佩佩 ? 他是智障 而且很严重Who, pepe? He's a retard. Got it pretty bad, too.
396 00:18:49 他认为我是他祖父He thinks I'm his grandpa.
397 00:18:52 他平时都只呆家里画海豚He usually sits at home just drawing dolphins all day.
398 00:18:55 我们以前都会让他单独出门We used to let him out on his own,
399 00:18:56 只是现在强奸犯这么多 我们实在是...but the raping got so bad that we just...
400 00:19:01 找到了Got it.
401 00:19:03 - 你俩要不要续一杯 ? - 好啊- You guys want a refill? - Sure.
402 00:19:04 - 当然 - 我马上回来Absolutely! Brb!
403 00:19:08 我为我祖父道歉I'm sorry about my grandpa.
404 00:19:10 他状态不太好He's, um... He's not doing too well.
405 00:19:12 我祖母昨天刚去世My grandma just passed and the funeral was yesterday.
406 00:19:15 噢...Oh...
407 00:19:17 其实我是律师 不是智障I'm actually a lawyer, not a retard.
408 00:19:20 我处理很多重要事务I handle of lot of important issues.
409 00:19:22 证券交易委员会投诉Sec compliance,
410 00:19:25 责任协议 合伙协议 之类的llc agreements. Lp agreements. That sort of stuff.
411 00:19:30 额 我们准备上路了Yeah, um, well, I think we're gonna get going.
412 00:19:33 很高兴认识你 佩佩Nice to meet you, pepe. Nice...
413 00:19:38 操 !Fuck!
414 00:19:41 喔 喔 喔 ! 怎么回事 ?Whoa, whoa, whoa! What happened?
415 00:19:43 他们去哪了 ? 你做了什么 ?Why are they going? What did you do?
416 00:19:45 干嘛 ? 我说了事实What? I told them the truth.
417 00:19:46 我告诉他们我下周要结婚了I told them that I'm getting married next week,
418 00:19:48 而你状态不好 因为你妻子过世了and you're not well because your wife just died.
419 00:19:51 难道你是娘炮吗 ?What are you, fucking vagina repellent?
420 00:19:52 那两个美女想一起聚会的 !Those cougars wanted to party!
421 00:19:53 - 他们想开聚会 ? - 没错 !They wanted to party? Yes!
422 00:19:55 听听你自己的话Do you hear yourself?
423 00:19:56 祖父 你现在是在逗我 ? 祖母才...Grandpa, are you kidding me right now? Grandma...
424 00:19:58 你这么吵我怎么听得到I'm trying to listen to myself.
425 00:19:58 昨天才举行祖母的葬礼 ?Grandma's funeral was yesterday!
426 00:20:01 你今天就想撩大学女生了 ?Now you wanna hit on college girls?
427 00:20:02 还看黄片撸管You're jerking off to porn?
428 00:20:05 - 你搞毛啊 ? - 杰森 我要做爱 !What's wrong with you? Jason, I want to fuck!
429 00:20:07 老天啊...Oh, my god...
430 00:20:09 40年来我首次单身For the first time in 40 years
431 00:20:10 我要做爱I'm single and I want to fuck.
432 00:20:12 我要干到天荒地老I want to fuck until my dick falls off.
433 00:20:15 我要干死一匹马 然后喝光它的血I want to fuck a horse and I wanna drink its blood!
434 00:20:18 我要吐了I'm gonna throw up.
435 00:20:19 40年来 我每天都I was faithful to your grandmother
436 00:20:20 终于你祖母every day for 40 years,
437 00:20:23 即使是跟年期和癌症我都熬过来了even through the menopause, even through the cancer.
438 00:20:25 她是我一生的最爱She was the love of my life.
439 00:20:27 我每天都会想念她I'll miss her every goddamn day.
440 00:20:29 但是她在临终之时是这样给我说的But she told me on her deathbed,
441 00:20:31 "你再找一个能陪你的人""You get back out there again."
442 00:20:33 我都15年没做爱了 杰森I haven't had sex in 15 years, Jason,
443 00:20:35 我要做爱 我要做爱 !and I want to fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
444 00:20:37 原来是这么回事是吧 ?Oh, so that's what this is all about?
445 00:20:39 你根本不是想花时间陪我This whole thing. You didn't want to be with me.
446 00:20:41 你只是想让我开车You wanted me to drive you down to boca
447 00:20:43 载你来这边陪你撩妹 ?so I could be your fucking wingman?
448 00:20:44 很显然我犯了个大错Well, obviously I made a bad decision
449 00:20:44 因为你简直就是个老妈子because you're nothing but a cock-blocking machine.
450 00:20:47 我都不知道你这算啥I don't know what you are.
451 00:20:48 你就像以色列"铁穹"防御系统You're like the Israeli iron dome defense system,
452 00:20:49 但是发射的是娘炮 而不是导弹but with vaginas instead of missiles.
453 00:20:51 - 啥 ? - 你简直就是个What? You're like some sort of
454 00:20:52 坏好事终结者cock-blocking Terminator
455 00:20:54 从未来派到现在来坏人类的羞羞事的sent back from the future to cock-block humans.
456 00:20:55 噢Oh!
457 00:20:56 机器人们应该派你去的The robots should have sent you
458 00:20:56 而不是阿诺·斯瓦辛格instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger,
459 00:20:59 你能很轻松的就坏了约翰·康纳父母的羞羞事you could have cock-blocked John Connor's parents
460 00:21:01 而救世主康纳就不会出生 !and he would never have been born!
461 00:21:02 闭嘴吧 祖父 !Shut up, grandpa!
462 00:21:03 - 闭嘴 ! - 你到底搞什么鬼啊 ?Shut up! What got into you?
463 00:21:04 我还记得你高中的时候I remember you in high school,
464 00:21:05 你简直就是整个校园的you were ripping people's dicks off
465 00:21:06 头号猛男on the football field,
466 00:21:08 一心想着周游世界 !talking about traveling the world!
467 00:21:10 而你现在却在律师事务所整理文件Now you're pushing some papers at a fucking law firm
468 00:21:12 而且估计你小便都是坐着的and probably peeing sitting down.
469 00:21:13 祖父 我不知道你是Grandpa, I don't know what you thought
470 00:21:13 怎么安排这个周末的this weekend was going to be about,
471 00:21:15 但我只为一个目标而来but I came here for one reason,
472 00:21:16 就是送你到弗罗里达to get you to boca.
473 00:21:18 仅此而已That's it.
474 00:21:19 好吧Fine.
475 00:21:21 现在可以玩高尔夫了吗 ?Now can I please play some golf?
476 00:21:22 - 他妈的高尔夫 - 好吧Fucking golf. Okay.
477 00:21:24 自大的坏好事基佬Cocky mcblockerson.
478 00:21:31 搞毛啊 ?What the fuck?
479 00:21:35 嘣 !Bam!
480 00:21:39 谁帮你交的税啊 ? 坏好事事务所 ?Who does your taxes? H&r cock-block?
481 00:21:41 别闹了Stop it.
482 00:21:48 嘣 !Bam!
483 00:21:50 你现在还憋着那股坏好事的劲吗 ?Are you still Jenny from the cock-block?
484 00:21:52 搞毛啊 ? 你对我屁股到底有啥不满 ?What the fuck! What is your obsession with my ass?
485 00:21:55 你手机震动了Your vibrator's on.
486 00:21:58 反正你也进不去You can't get into it anyway
487 00:22:00 你又不知道我密码because you don't know my code.
488 00:22:02 看来你祖父还记得你的生日 !Looks like your grandpa remembered your birthday!
489 00:22:03 啥 ? 还给我 !What? Give me that!
490 00:22:05 我们要去代托纳比奇玩了We're going to fucking Daytona.
491 00:22:08 我们才不去代托纳比奇We're not going to Daytona,
492 00:22:09 高尔夫车钥匙在我手上because I've got the keys to the golf cart.
493 00:22:15 你干嘛呢 ?What are you doing?
494 00:22:17 喂Hey.
495 00:22:19 你怎么做到的 ?How'd you do that?
496 00:22:20 来不来 娘炮 ?Coming or staying, Jack dicklaus?
497 00:22:22 - 祖父 ? - 赶紧上车了Grandpa? Hurry up, bubba twatson.
498 00:22:23 祖父 停车Grandpa, stop.
499 00:22:24 你个小娘炮Gary player-with-my-balls.
500 00:22:26 把车停下 !Stop the cart!
501 00:22:27 你就喜欢被别人上吧Fred couples-of-big-dicks- in-your-ass.
502 00:22:28 老天啊 祖父 快停下 !Oh, my god. Grandpa! Stop!
503 00:22:30 还喜欢别人射你脸上吧Michelle wies-all-over-my-face.
504 00:22:53 这才对嘛Now, this is what I'm fucking talking about.
505 00:22:55 简直是疯了This is so fucked up.
506 00:22:57 别担心 你可以和你喜欢的那个Calm down, you'll get to hang out
507 00:22:59 吉普赛女郎一起玩with that gypsy girl you like.
508 00:23:00 - 我又不喜欢她 - 你当然喜欢了I don't like her. Oh, yes, you do.
509 00:23:02 所以你当时才没有That's why you didn't deny
510 00:23:03 否定你不是<<时代杂志>>摄影师的事being a photographer for time magazine.
511 00:23:05 你去和她玩You can hang out with her,
512 00:23:06 而我就可以和丽诺尔上床I can have vaginal sex with lenore.
513 00:23:08 皆大欢喜 完事后还能It all works out! We can even go visit
514 00:23:09 - 去见见我的老战友 臭臭 - 臭臭 ?my old army buddy, stinky. Stinky?
515 00:23:13 他们在哪个酒吧 ?Which tiki bar are they in?
516 00:23:15 该死 该死Oh, shit. Shit. Shit.
517 00:23:17 - 怎么了 ? - 梅雷迪斯的电话What's that? It's Meredith.
518 00:23:19 请还给我 我必须接才行Please, I've got to answer that.
519 00:23:19 - 叫她滚粗吧 - 祖父 !Ah, tell her to fuck off. Grandpa!
520 00:23:22 我先检查下你手机上的睾酮级别I'm just gonna check the testosterone levels on your phone first.
521 00:23:25 祖父 马上把手机还给我 !Grandpa, give me my phone now!
522 00:23:26 不出所料 级别很低Just as I thought. Pretty low.
523 00:23:27 是梅雷迪斯打的电话 该死 !This is Meredith calling... Shit!
524 00:23:29 瞧你干的好事Now, look what you did,
525 00:23:31 你把手机丢进这车的阴道里了you dropped it in the car's vagina.
526 00:23:33 该死 我得用免提了God damn it, I have to put it on speaker.
527 00:23:34 - 一句话也别说 - 不会说的Don't say anything. I will not say a word.
528 00:23:38 蛋蛋 !Ballbags!
529 00:23:40 嗨 是谁在说话啊 ?Hey! Who was that?
530 00:23:42 谁也不是 我们在餐厅里呢 抱歉No one. We're in a restaurant. Sorry.
531 00:23:44 "谁在说话啊 ?""Who's that?"
532 00:23:45 - 怎么了 ? - 好的...What's up? Okay...
533 00:23:46 我真的非常希望Well, I really want them
534 00:23:48 把我们的婚礼启事to post our wedding announcement
535 00:23:49 发表到<<纽约时报>>网站上去on the New York times website
536 00:23:51 赶在周五彩排之前before our rehearsal brunch Friday,
537 00:23:53 我只是想和你商量下so I just wanted to run your section back to you.
538 00:23:55 额 我现在不太方便和你商量Yeah, you know, now's really not a good time...
539 00:23:57 杰森 ? 能赶紧商量好吗 ?Jason? Can we just do this please?
540 00:23:59 "能赶紧上路好吗 ?""Can we do this now?"
541 00:24:02 "杰森·理查德·凯莉 是谁的儿子 ?""Jason Richard Kelly, son of..."
542 00:24:05 "包皮垢博士的""Doctor smegma Von boxmunchers."
543 00:24:06 "戴维和布鲁克""David and Brooke,
544 00:24:09 "是哪间律师事务所的初级合伙人 ?""Is a junior associate at the law firm of..."
545 00:24:12 "娘炮事务所 !""Cream pie fart and donkey punch!"
546 00:24:15 - 够了 是谁在说话 ? - 谁也不是 只是个服务员Okay, who is that? It's no one. It's a waiter
547 00:24:17 他话比较多with pretty bad tourette's, I think...
548 00:24:21 他一直在走过去走过来的大喊He just keeps walking by yelling weird shit,
549 00:24:22 我也不知道为啥...I don't know why...
550 00:24:24 好吧 你们是在哪间餐馆 ?Okay, well, what restaurant are you at?
551 00:24:26 我都听不清你说话了I can barely even hear you now.
552 00:24:28 我们在...We're at Chuck E. Cheese's...
553 00:24:29 代托纳比奇 !Daytona fucking beach!
554 00:24:31 - 代托纳比奇 ! - 没错 伙计Daytona fucking beach! You're right, buddy!
555 00:24:34 你们在代托纳比奇 ?You're in Daytona beach?
556 00:24:36 额...Uh...
557 00:24:38 听着 我们只是路过代托纳比奇Listen, we're just driving through Daytona beach.
558 00:24:40 - 我们正赶去祖父的... - 杰森 !We're en route to grandpa's... Jason!
559 00:24:42 我不知道你们为啥在代托纳I don't know why you're there,
560 00:24:43 但你最好今晚到祖父家之后but you'd better call me from your grandfather's house
561 00:24:46 立马给我打电话 懂没 ?when you get there tonight, okay?
562 00:24:48 好的 宝贝 我爱你...- Of course, baby. - I love you so much...
563 00:24:50 - 操 ! - 婚姻本来就很困难Fuck! Marriage is hard.
564 00:24:52 那个性感女大学生回了什么信息没 ?What'd the hot college girls text back?
565 00:24:54 祖父 你发什么消息给他们呢 ?Grandpa, what are you texting them?
566 00:24:57 - 发个信息而已 - 什么内容 ?I just texted them. What are you texting them?
567 00:24:59 "我们在沙滩上见""We'll meet you on the beach."
568 00:24:59 对 我还加了那个吐舌笑脸的表情Yeah, and I added the emoji with the wink and the tongue out.
569 00:25:03 我可没开玩笑 祖父I'm not kidding, Grandpa.
570 00:25:05 你明白如果我今晚You realize that if I don't call her
571 00:25:06 不用你家的电话打给她的话from your house in Boca tonight,
572 00:25:08 我就彻底完蛋了I'm fucked, man, I'm fucked.
573 00:25:09 老天啊 感觉你这是Jesus. Sounds like you're marrying
574 00:25:11 娶了个保释官your fucking parole officer.
575 00:25:13 梅雷迪斯就这样It's just Meredith. It's the way she is, man.
576 00:25:15 她如果不知道She just gets, like, anxious
577 00:25:18 我的人身地点 她就会很焦虑when she doesn't know exactly where I am.
578 00:25:20 不用慌 人类都这样Don't panic. It's organic.
579 00:25:22 嗯 我知道 夫妻经常会吵架Yeah, I know. Couples get in fights all the time.
580 00:25:24 但是梅雷迪斯不一样But it's different with Meredith.
581 00:25:25 她的吵架方式很特殊She takes it to another level, man,
582 00:25:27 而且我向你保证 如果and I'm telling you, if I don't call her
583 00:25:28 我不拿你房子的电话打给她 我绝对完了from your house in Boca, I'm screwed.
584 00:25:30 是啊 我们的时间可不是用来吵架的Well, ain't nobody got time for that.
585 00:25:31 嗯 我知道Yeah, I know. Clearly.
586 00:25:33 所以我才不明白Which is why I don't understand
587 00:25:35 为什么我们还在这耽搁how we got so far off schedule.
588 00:25:36 噢... 生活本来就是大起大落Oh... Sometimes life is just a fart zone,
589 00:25:39 风险全由你承担and you enter at your own risk.
590 00:25:41 你刚说的话Have you been reading shit
591 00:25:44 都是从太阳镜和T恤上看到的 ?off the shot glasses and the shirts in here
592 00:25:46 然后还拿出来当智言 ?and just saying it like it's wisdom?
593 00:25:47 我很严肃的好吗I was seriously trying to talk to you, man.
594 00:25:49 你明白风险有多高吗 ?Do you realize the stakes here?
595 00:25:50 - 你真是无法理喻 ! - 笑一个You're ridiculous! Smile.
596 00:25:53 你身上一直有部手机 ?You've had a phone this entire fucking time?
597 00:25:55 你还有什么是我不了解的 ?What else don't I know about you?
598 00:25:57 你又是怎么会说阿拉伯语的 ?How the hell do you know how to speak Arabic?
599 00:25:59 老爸从来没提起过这事Dad's never said anything about that.
600 00:26:00 那是因为你爸That's because your dad
601 00:26:01 都不怎么了解我doesn't really know much about me.
602 00:26:03 他的大部分童年时光我都在军队里I was away with the army during most of his childhood.
603 00:26:08 所以我们并不亲近So we were never that close.
604 00:26:08 所以他才不喜欢你 ?Is that why he doesn't like you?
605 00:26:13 这里没有员工吗 ?Anybody work here?
606 00:26:15 所有人都给我趴到地上 !Okay, everybody on the fucking floor!
607 00:26:16 我这是抢劫 !This is a goddamn robbery!
608 00:26:19 都趴下 !On the fucking ground!
609 00:26:25 我了个去 你们真该看看自己的表情 !Oh, my God, you should see your faces!
610 00:26:27 我只是出去吃午饭 顺便拿下这个马面具I just left to grab lunch and a new horse mask.
611 00:26:29 我自己的面具那天在沙滩上弄丢了 呼 !I left mine at the beach the other day. Whoo!
612 00:26:32 我还以为你要被吓尿了 小白脸I thought you were gonna shit your pants, little guy.
613 00:26:35 不过枪是真的Gun's real though.
614 00:26:37 搞毛啊 老兄 !What the fuck, man!
615 00:26:39 放松点 这里可是佛罗里达Relax, this is Florida.
616 00:26:41 任何人都可以携带枪支Everything's a licensed gun range.
617 00:26:43 你把墙都射穿了 !You just shot through a wall, man!
618 00:26:45 - 嘿 - 路上有行人呢 !Hey... There's pedestrians outside!
619 00:26:47 再强调一次 这里可是弗罗里达 行人根本不重要Yeah, again, it's Florida! These people don't matter.
620 00:26:51 - 啥 ? - 那么 ?What? So?
621 00:26:52 欢迎来到我的小店Welcome to Tam Pam Surf Slam.
622 00:26:54 请问能帮你们什么忙 ? 我叫帕姆What can I do for you gentlemen? I'm Pam.
623 00:26:56 你叫帕姆 ?You're Pam?
624 00:26:57 对 是昵称Yeah. It's a nickname.
625 00:26:59 真名叫帕梅拉Real name's Pamela.
626 00:27:02 喂 伙计们 绝对不行 !Hey, no, guys! Absolutely not!
627 00:27:06 我绝对不会在这家店里向你们贩卖毒品 !I will not ever sell you drugs out of this establishment!
628 00:27:11 我们又没让你贩毒We didn't ask you to sell us drugs.
629 00:27:13 很好 你们不是警察Okay, cool. You're not cops.
630 00:27:14 既然这样In which case,
631 00:27:17 欢迎来到毒品店 !welcome to drugs!
632 00:27:19 - 老天啊 - 我很有原则Oh, my God. Now, I'm pretty cool,
633 00:27:21 所以我只卖自然生长的毒品so I only sell the stuff that occurs naturally.
634 00:27:24 有大麻 有蘑菇 有冰毒So I got weed, I got mushrooms, I got meth.
635 00:27:26 - 冰毒 ? - 对Meth? Yeah.
636 00:27:27 这怎么算自然生长了 ?How is that natural?
637 00:27:29 因为是在我巴尔的摩的地下室里自然生长的Well, it occurs naturally in my cousin's basement in Baltimore,
638 00:27:31 如果你懂我意思的话if you know what I mean.
639 00:27:33 好吧Okay, fine.
640 00:27:35 你们不吸毒 懂了Drugs aren't your thing, got it.
641 00:27:37 信息已收到Message received.
642 00:27:38 这样的话In which case,
643 00:27:40 听着 这里有家很棒的慈善机构listen, we got a great local charity here.
644 00:27:41 "帕姆的孩子们"Pam's Kidz.
645 00:27:43 - 什么意思 ? - 也就是我的小孩们What's Pam's Kidz? That's my kids.
646 00:27:45 我和六个不同的女人生了四个孩子I got four kids by six different women.
647 00:27:47 我知道 这数字不对头I know, the numbers don't add up.
648 00:27:49 他们大多数都发育性残疾了Most of them are pretty developmentally disabled.
649 00:27:52 其中一个还得坐轮椅One of them you gotta push around in a wheelchair.
650 00:27:54 嘿哟 !Hey-o!
651 00:27:56 这才是人类的美德Now that is the generosity of the human spirit
652 00:27:58 十分感激你and I appreciate that.
653 00:28:00 其中一部分钱会用来给我养小孩Now some of this money is gonna feed my kids,
654 00:28:01 其中一部分会用来给我付口交费some of it is gonna get me a blowjob
655 00:28:03 付给麦当劳餐厅垃圾箱旁的无牙妓女by a toothless whore behind the dumpster down at the McDonalds.
656 00:28:35 - 嗨 - 嗨Hey. Hey.
657 00:28:37 嗨 教授Hi, Professor.
658 00:28:38 这个躺在沙滩上的大美女是谁啊Well, there's the prettiest little girl on the beach.
659 00:28:40 谢谢Thank you.
660 00:28:42 我指的其实是他I was actually talking to him.
661 00:28:44 刚见面就这么咄咄逼人 我回酒店去了Yup! Immediately offensive. I'm going back to the hotel.
662 00:28:47 回去的时候记得别加入不明基佬组织Just try not to join the cast of Rent on the way back!
663 00:28:51 有教授了 百万富翁也有了So we got the Professor, you got the millionaire.
664 00:28:54 还有谁要来加入啊 ?How's the rest of the Gilligan's Island cast?
665 00:28:56 没谁了We're good.
666 00:28:58 - 是吗 ? - 嗯Yeah? Yeah, everyone's good.
667 00:28:58 好吧Well, that's good.
668 00:29:00 这沙滩真棒Copacetic on the island.
669 00:29:02 你照片拍得如何了 ?How are those washed-out pictures you're taking
670 00:29:03 你的闪光灯还开着呢because you still have the lighting optimizer on?
671 00:29:04 不是... 怎么调来着 ?They're not... Where is that?
672 00:29:06 这些新60D型号Actually, it's really hypersensitive
673 00:29:09 特别敏感on the new 60D model.
674 00:29:10 你得...So you have to...
675 00:29:12 - 等下 这是啥 ? - 别看- Wait. What is that? - Okay, nope.
676 00:29:14 - 你干嘛呢 ? - 还给我What are you doing? Give it back, Malibu Ken.
677 00:29:15 - 不会吧 - 怎么 ?No... What?
678 00:29:17 你居然变成那种人了You did it. You turned into one of those people.
679 00:29:19 我变成了那种I turned into one of those people
680 00:29:21 关心世界的人 ?that gives a shit about something?
681 00:29:23 难道你还要把自己和北极熊拷在一起吗 ?Are you gonna chain yourself to a polar bear?
682 00:29:24 除非借给我这...Only if you let me borrow...
683 00:29:26 这啥 沙滩毛衣 ?What is this, a beach sweater?
684 00:29:28 - 对 - 怎么 你才刚滑雪回来吗 ?Yeah. What, did you just come from skiing?
685 00:29:30 对 我才滑完Yeah, I skied in,
686 00:29:32 好看你拯救世界just to see you save the world.
687 00:29:34 一件事一件事的来嘛One Jell-O shot at a time.
688 00:29:36 击掌 !High-five!
689 00:29:38 要不要我给你抹后背 ?You want me to do your back?
690 00:29:40 除非你先抹前面Only if you promise to do my front first.
691 00:29:42 很乐意Gladly.
692 00:29:44 噢 哎哟Oh. Whoops!
693 00:29:46 一时失手That never usually happens.
694 00:29:48 是吗 ? 我倒是经常体验这种感觉Really? It happens to me all the time.
695 00:29:51 - 猜猜看刚是谁在海里拉屎了 - 嗷 !Well, guess who just took a shit in the water? Ow!
696 00:29:53 我们找你们一整天了We've been looking for you bitches all day.
697 00:29:55 你们跑哪去了 ?Where the fuck have you been?
698 00:29:56 我们的车在奥兰多抛锚了Uh, our car broke down in Orlando.
699 00:29:58 你都不看手机的吗 ?Do you ever look at your cell phone?
700 00:30:01 真棒Awesome.
701 00:30:02 这群娘炮是谁啊 ?Who are these cunt punches?
702 00:30:03 他们是我们朋友These are our friends that we met
703 00:30:05 开车来这的途中认识的 这是科迪和布拉on the way down. Yeah. That's Cody and Brah.
704 00:30:08 他们是弗罗里达长曲棍球队的They're on the lacrosse team at Florida.
705 00:30:11 他玩长曲棍球 ?This guy plays lacrosse?
706 00:30:12 我可是参加过大会的 伙计All-conference, brah!
707 00:30:14 是吗 ? 糖尿病大会 ?Yeah? Which one, the fucking Diabetes Conference?
708 00:30:17 好了 我们准备去和那边那群蠢货比喝酒了All right, we're about to boat race a bunch of those fucks
709 00:30:20 一群来自乔治亚大学的蠢货 所以先失陪了from the University of Georgia up in the room. So...
710 00:30:22 天啊 他也是乔治亚大学的Oh, my God! University of Georgia!
711 00:30:24 - 不会吧 你是乔治亚大学的 ? - 的确是No way! You're a Hornet? Afraid so.
712 00:30:27 那你俩也应该参加啊Well, you guys should get in there then,
713 00:30:28 老伙计Edward Jizzumhands.
714 00:30:31 谢谢 我们会参加的Well, thank you. We will.
715 00:30:34 太好了 那到时候见了Good, that's great. I'll see you up there.
716 00:30:37 好的 你说了算Oh, good. Well, you say we'll be there
717 00:30:38 我们准时到and on time.
718 00:30:40 很好 就等你了Sweet. I will. Yeah.
719 00:30:41 嗯 我们走吧Yeah, let's do that.
720 00:30:43 现在就去吧No, we should. Let's do it now.
721 00:30:44 嗯 到时候见Yeah, I'll see you up there. What...
722 00:30:46 到酒店的泳池来Come to the hotel. By the pool.
723 00:30:51 乔治亚输定了 !Georgia sucks!
724 00:30:53 我们能回家了么 ? 她们已经有男票了Can we please just go? They've got boyfriends.
725 00:30:54 那两个白痴 ? 他们可不是俩妹子男票Those meatdick fucks? They're not their boyfriends.
726 00:30:56 他们只是大四的学生They're just seniors,
727 00:30:58 他们只是毕业压力太大and they're all just terrified and speed-fucking each other
728 00:31:00 一起上床缓解压力而已before the ship goes down.
729 00:31:01 你从不参加春假旅行的吗 ?Didn't you ever go on Spring Break?
730 00:31:03 没 我没参加春假旅行No, I didn't go to Spring Break,
731 00:31:04 我当时在学习法律'cause I was studying for law school.
732 00:31:06 再说了 我的酒量已经Besides, I can't chug alcohol anymore
733 00:31:07 没以前好了like I used to, Grandpa.
734 00:31:08 我一喝酒就会吐I've developed, like, a gag reflex.
735 00:31:10 - 呕吐 ? - 嗯A gag reflex? Yeah.
736 00:31:12 只是喝酒而已You're chugging a beer,
737 00:31:13 又不是叫你吞马屌not taking down a horse cock, Jason.
738 00:31:15 走吧Come on.
739 00:31:26 乔治亚大学加油 !Go Hornets!
740 00:31:28 乔治亚大学 耶...Go Hornets, yeah...
741 00:31:30 你知道的吧 这些妹子其中一人有疱疹Hey, you know, one in three of these girls has herpes.
742 00:31:31 表面上看不见的Even if you can't see it.
743 00:31:33 老天啊 闭嘴好吗Oh, Jesus. Nut the fuck up.
744 00:31:35 这只是场大学聚会而已 你个娘炮 安啦 !It's just a college party, you nance. Chill!
745 00:31:37 你们在这啊Hey, here they are.
746 00:31:39 我准备去拿点啤酒 你要什么 小基佬 ?I'm gonna get some beers. What about you, twinkle toes?
747 00:31:43 要不要给你来点好喝的 ? 要王老吉吗 ?You want some of dat drank? Some of dat purple drank?
748 00:31:46 还是说给你来点Some of dat purple-ass muthafuckin'
749 00:31:47 东三雪碧 ?pimp-dick drank?
750 00:31:50 你到底是谁啊 ?Who the fuck are you?
751 00:31:57 这摇滚乐真够劲It's a pretty rockin' party.
752 00:31:59 呼Whoo.
753 00:32:01 是"Who Let the Dogs Out"Who let the dogs out?
754 00:32:02 对吧 ?Am I right?
755 00:32:18 小鲜肉 在开始之前Sir, before we start, would you prefer
756 00:32:20 你要不要来点汽水压压胃 ?if we gave you a spritzer to chug?
757 00:32:21 - 啊... - 给你瓶格瓦斯 ?Ah... Maybe a Pinot Noir?
758 00:32:28 你输定了 老家伙You're going down, old man.
759 00:32:30 没人比我更能喝Nobody chugs like me.
760 00:32:32 我相信你 你肯定喝了好多年布拉的精液了I bet. You've been chugging Brah's cum for years.
761 00:32:37 上吧Let's go.
762 00:32:42 喝 !Chug!
763 00:32:44 喝 !Chug!
764 00:32:45 喝 !Chug!
765 00:32:47 喝 !Chug!
766 00:32:50 喝 喝 !Go! Go! Chug!
767 00:33:51 还挺好玩的It's actually kind of fun.
768 00:33:58 嗯 其实我还没完全Yeah, I'm not really, you know, for sure,
769 00:34:03 确定...per say...
770 00:34:05 毕业之后该做什么what we're doing after graduation.
771 00:34:08 我的意思是I mean,
772 00:34:10 - 有人邀请我们... - 吧啦吧啦we have offers to play... Blah, blah, blah...
773 00:34:11 去欧洲打职业长曲棍球professional lacrosse in Europe,
774 00:34:13 - 但是也有群星探... - 哔哔哔哔but a bunch of agents... Words, words, words...
775 00:34:15 想让我们当模特 所以...also want us to start modeling, so...
776 00:34:18 再问一遍 这些事里都包含了这个死胖子 ?And again, we're talking about this fat fuck right here?
777 00:34:20 大伙们...You guys...
778 00:34:22 你们快来看啊Uh, you have to come see this right now.
779 00:34:43 好的 我们队赢了 !All right, our team won!
780 00:34:45 来买点本地毒品吧Let's celebrate by buying local drugs
781 00:34:48 卖家是信誉良好的本地毒贩from a reputable, local drug dealer.
782 00:34:52 嗨 你在这干嘛呢 ?Hey, what are you doing here?
783 00:34:55 我在这卖毒品啊I'm selling drugs, man.
784 00:34:56 我准备让小孩上幼儿园呢I'm trying to put my kid through preschool.
785 00:34:59 你真够诚实的 !How honest is that!
786 00:35:01 你就摸我脸吧 兄弟Touching my face a lot, bro.
787 00:35:03 多摸摸看Touching my face a whole lot, man.
788 00:35:05 来点这个吧 绝对爽歪歪Why don't you take some of this. This'll mellow you out.
789 00:35:06 - 这是啥 ? - 电子香烟啊 伙计What is it? E-cig, bro.
790 00:35:08 装大麻的吧 !"E" Is for "Weed"!
791 00:35:11 你喜欢就好Sure, why not?
792 00:35:15 这口真够大的Yeah, ooh, that's a big... That's a big one.
793 00:35:19 噢 !Oh!
794 00:35:23 呼 !Whoo!
795 00:35:25 庆幸你抽的不是这根吧 这可是霹雳可卡因 !Just be glad you didn't smoke this, man. This is crack!
796 00:35:28 - 啥 ? - 没错What? Oh, yeah!
797 00:35:30 这根... 等下...This one... Oh, wait a minute...
798 00:35:33 好像你手上那只才是可卡因 而我这根才是大麻Maybe that one's crack and this one's weed.
799 00:35:37 等下 你怎么又犯傻了 帕姆 ?Hang on. What'd you do now, Pam?
800 00:35:39 操 等下 到底哪只是可卡因 ?Fuck. Hold on. Which one's crack?
801 00:35:43 好吧 我来说明下 别被吓到了Okay. I got this. Don't freak out.
802 00:35:47 抱歉让你担忧了 老兄 你肯定不会相信的Sorry to worry you, man. You're not gonna believe this.
803 00:35:49 两根都是可卡因They're both crack.
804 00:35:51 啥 ?What?
805 00:35:52 而你抽的那口量And you have taken an amount
806 00:35:54 估计30分钟后你就死了that will probably kill you in about 30 minutes.
807 00:35:56 - 我抽的是可卡因 ? - 是啊I just smoked crack? Yeah.
808 00:35:58 而且是很大一口But just, like, a lot.
809 00:36:01 我抽了可卡因I just smoked crack.
810 00:36:05 我抽了可卡因 !I just smoked crack!
811 00:36:11 美国 !Usa!
812 00:36:13 美国 !Usa!
813 00:36:15 美国 !Usa!
814 00:36:16 我就说嘛Told you.
815 00:36:21 他没事的 只是喝醉了而已He's fine. He's just a little drunk.
816 00:36:25 呼 !Whoo!
817 00:36:28 大家都爱可卡因 !Everybody loves crack!
818 00:36:30 小蜜蜂也爱可卡因Bee loves crack.
819 00:36:32 小蜜蜂也爱可卡因Bee loves some crack.
820 00:36:34 我们最好去帮帮他We should probably go help him.
821 00:36:40 蛰死你 !Sting? You're stung!
822 00:36:45 我去 我找到蜂后了Oh, shit, I just found my queen.
823 00:36:47 好了All right.
824 00:36:49 我们去帮他Okay, let's help him.
825 00:36:53 借过下 杰森 !Excuse me. Jason!
826 00:36:58 - 杰森 - 杰森Hey, Jason. SHADIA: Jason.
827 00:37:03 杰森Jason. Jason.
828 00:37:05 呼呼Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
829 00:37:13 我要永生了 !I'm gonna live forever!
830 00:37:21 聚会开始 !Party on!
831 00:37:37 该死 !Oh, shit!
832 00:37:43 1 2 3...One, two, three...
833 00:37:45 - 喂 ? - 你到底跑哪去了 ?Hello? Where the fuck have you been?
834 00:37:46 额...Uh...
835 00:37:48 昨晚我们We got to Grandpa's a
836 00:37:49 到祖父家比预想中晚了些little bit later than we thought last night,
837 00:37:51 而我的手机充电器坏了and my phone charger wasn't working.
838 00:37:54 好吧 我们错过了Well, you know we missed the deadline
839 00:37:55 在<<纽约时报>>上发表结婚启事的时间for our wedding announcement to be in the Times.
840 00:37:57 你现在在哪 ? 在附近吗 ?Where are you? Are you close?
841 00:37:59 额...Um...
842 00:38:01 听着 昨晚祖父特别伤心Listen, Grandpa got really upset last night.
843 00:38:04 所以我今天So I'm just getting
844 00:38:05 上路比较晚a little bit of a late jump here.
845 00:38:08 我想让你看看给伴娘配的花I want to show you the bouquets for the bridesmaids.
846 00:38:10 把摄像头打开吧So switch to FaceTime, okay?
847 00:38:12 该死 宝贝 祖父家的网络信号不是太好Shit! Baby, the reception at Grandpa's isn't very good...
848 00:38:14 杰森 赶紧打开 !Jason, just fucking do it!
849 00:38:16 好的 马上就好 正在切换Okay, one second. Switching over.
850 00:38:18 操操操 !Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
851 00:38:21 你脸上的是沙子 ?Is that sand on your face?
852 00:38:23 是木屑而已It's just sawdust
853 00:38:25 我之前车库帮祖父整理...because I was helping Grandpa in the garage, so...
854 00:38:27 所以我脸上很自然的沾上了木屑I naturally got the dust of the saw on the face.
855 00:38:29 - 嗨 宝贝 - 杰森Hi, honey. Jason.
856 00:38:31 老妈 ? 老爸 ?Mom? Dad?
857 00:38:34 你脸上怎么有墨水 ?Is that writing on your face?
858 00:38:38 噢 我昨晚睡前在写结婚誓言...Oh! I was working on my vows late last night and...
859 00:38:40 嗯...Hmm...
860 00:38:42 然后我睡着了 所以脸上有墨水...And I fell asleep and I got some pen on my face, so...
861 00:38:46 是啊 事实肯定就是如此Yeah, that must be the exact thing that happened.
862 00:38:49 梅雷迪斯把我们叫过来是因为Yeah, Meredith called us because
863 00:38:50 她昨晚一整晚都没你的消息she hadn't heard from you all night.
864 00:38:52 我们请了位拉比来写婚礼誓言We got the rabbi here to work on the vows.
865 00:38:55 你好啊 杰森Boker tov, Jason.
866 00:38:57 嗨 你好Hey. Shalom.
867 00:38:59 杰森 说真的 你额头上画的是啥 ?No, Jason, really... What is on your forehead?
868 00:39:03 是由丁丁组成的纳粹十字It's a swastika of penises.
869 00:39:06 才不是No, that's not what it is.
870 00:39:08 而且栩栩如生的射了你一脸Acting as a pinwheel of ejaculate...
871 00:39:11 不是不是 是视频聊天的特效而已No, no, no, it's a FaceTime effect.
872 00:39:14 现在好多小孩都这么玩All the kids are using them these days.
873 00:39:15 还有光明节的特效 看到没 ?There's a Hanukkah one. See?
874 00:39:19 我觉得丁丁纳粹十字比这个还好看I don't like that one as much as the swastika full of dicks.
875 00:39:22 好了 我们来讨论一下婚礼誓言吧Okay, let's discuss the wedding vows.
876 00:39:26 杰森 你先告诉我们你为什么Jason, why don't you begin by telling us all
877 00:39:29 喜欢梅雷迪斯吧what it is you like about Meredith.
878 00:39:31 好 我从哪开始说啊 她那么...Yeah, where do I start? She's...
879 00:39:34 你好啊Hello.
880 00:39:36 额...Uh...
881 00:39:38 你好啊 小蜜蜂Hello, buzzy bee.
882 00:39:40 啥 ?What?
883 00:39:42 如果你想不出有啥优点If you can't think of anything,
884 00:39:43 就说她外表好看啊 白痴lean into them looks, dawg.
885 00:39:44 我能摸摸小蜜蜂吗 ?Can I touch buzzy bee?
886 00:39:46 我已经爱了她... 你不能摸小蜜蜂 !I've loved her for... No, you can't touch buzzy bee!
887 00:39:48 额...Um...
888 00:39:49 我喜欢她的...I love the way that she, um...
889 00:39:52 你干嘛呢 ? 快住手 !What are you doing? Stop it!
890 00:39:55 滚蛋 ! 你要害我惹... 赶紧滚粗 !Go away! You're getting me in... Fuck, go away!
891 00:39:57 你的小蜜蜂好多毛啊 !Your buzzy bee looks so fluffy!
892 00:39:59 他说什么呢 ?What did he say?
893 00:40:00 我不知道该从哪说起I just don't know where to start.
894 00:40:02 - 让我摸摸小蜜蜂 ! - 不能给你摸 !Let me touch buzzy bee! You can't have the bee!
895 00:40:03 啥 ?What?
896 00:40:05 我要玩小蜜蜂 !I want to stroke the bee!
897 00:40:06 不能给你玩 !You can't stroke the bee! Okay?
898 00:40:08 - 我要亲小蜜蜂 ! - 不能给你亲 !- I want to kiss buzzy bee! - You can't kiss the bee!
899 00:40:10 我喜欢她亲吻的方式I love the way that she kisses.
900 00:40:12 - 你个熊孩子 ! - 喂 !Ow! Kid! MAN: Hey!
901 00:40:14 - 我的天啊 - 喂 !Oh, my God... MAN: Hey!
902 00:40:16 - 死变态 ! - 完蛋了Fucking pervert! Oh, no.
903 00:40:17 我得挂了 抱歉I got to go right now. I'm sorry.
904 00:40:18 我爱你 拜 !I love you. Bye!
905 00:40:20 别别别 杰森 !No, no, no! Jason! Jason!
906 00:40:22 快过来 我说了叫你别跑远Come on. I told you to stay with us.
907 00:40:26 他让我玩了一把He let me stroke it.
908 00:40:27 喔喔喔 !Whoa, whoa, whoa!
909 00:40:29 等下 他指的是小蜜蜂Hold on! He's talking about a pee... A bee.
910 00:40:31 小蜜蜂玩具A little stuffed bee.
911 00:40:32 啥蜜蜂 ?What bee?
912 00:40:34 本来这个部位有蜜蜂挡着的 !There was a bee here, man!
913 00:40:35 特别柔软 他让我用嘴亲了It was so soft. He let me kiss it.
914 00:40:37 不对 我可没让你亲 !No, I did not let you kiss it!
915 00:40:39 你乱说什么呢 ?What are you talking about?
916 00:40:40 - 他根本没有... 啊 ! - 你死定了 !He did not even... Ahhh! You're fucking dead!
917 00:40:42 老爸 你真酷 !Dad, that was cool!
918 00:40:45 该死Oh, shit!
919 00:41:12 能给我条裤子吗 拜托...May I have some pants? Please...
920 00:41:15 噢 天啊 真抱歉 当然可以了Oh, Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry. Of course.
921 00:41:18 完全没问题Yeah, absolutely.
922 00:41:21 要卡其裤还是运动裤 ?You want khakis or sweatpants?
923 00:41:25 卡其裤 谢了Khakis, please.
924 00:41:27 什么牌子的 ? 工装裤那种 ?What brand? You like Docker's?
925 00:41:29 - 没错 - 好的Yeah! Yeah! Yeah? Okay.
926 00:41:31 好的 你是穿30码吧...All right. You're like a 30...
927 00:41:35 没错 30码可以Uh, yes, 30 is fine.
928 00:41:38 我可穿不上30码的What I wouldn't give to fit in a 30.
929 00:41:40 20年前或许还有可能Maybe 20 years ago, you know.
930 00:41:42 也就是我7岁的时候When I was seven years old.
931 00:41:44 - 嗯 - 好了Yeah. All right.
932 00:41:47 顺带一提 我准备出去买点午饭Also, I'm going to step out and get some lunch.
933 00:41:49 你想吃三明治吗 ?Do you want a sandwich?
934 00:41:51 我超想吃三明治I would love a sandwich.
935 00:41:53 火腿 ? 火鸡 ?Ham? Turkey?
936 00:41:55 - 火鸡 ? - 火鸡Turkey? Turkey.
937 00:41:57 真有趣 我自己也挺喜欢吃火鸡的That's so funny, because I'm a turkey guy myself, you know.
938 00:41:59 太感谢你了Thank you so much.
939 00:42:01 要加蛋黄酱吗 ?Okay. Absolutely want mayo on that?
940 00:42:03 - 不了 谢谢 - 好的Uh, no, thank you, no. Okay.
941 00:42:05 - 多加点蔬菜 - 多加蔬菜 ?Uh, extra veggies. Extra veggies?
942 00:42:07 - 是的 谢谢 - 没问题Yes, please. You got it. Absolutely...
943 00:42:08 盐和醋Salt and vinegar.
944 00:42:10 还要盐和醋是吗 ?You want salt and vinegar as well?
945 00:42:11 是的 谢谢Yeah, thank you.
946 00:42:13 你得注意钠摄入量You gotta watch that sodium.
947 00:42:15 因为摄入多了会导致血压升高All right, because that's what drives your blood pressure up.
948 00:42:16 而高血压就是无形杀手And blood pressure is a silent killer.
949 00:42:18 火鸡 好的...Turkey... Okay... All right...
950 00:42:22 还有最后一项 你愿不愿意Yeah. And, uh, finally, do you want to be sodomized
951 00:42:26 被一个心理年龄只有7岁 而且自称为"乒乓"by a man with the mental age of seven
952 00:42:28 的男人强奸 ?who calls himself "Ping-pong",
953 00:42:30 还是说你想被同一个人or do you want to be shivved
954 00:42:31 刮毛 ?by the, uh, same guy?
955 00:42:35 如果你有时间的话就给我说一声Just let me know what time works out for you,
956 00:42:37 因为你这是在蹲监狱'cause you're in fucking jail.
957 00:42:44 好了 加里 我拉完了 已经很晚了All right. Gary, I'm all done. It's late.
958 00:42:46 我还得开店呢 伙计I gotta go open the store, buddy.
959 00:42:48 我知道 但是你昨天试图卖毒品给中学生I know, but you tried to sell peyote to middle schoolers.
960 00:42:51 啥 ? 拜托 你还不了解我吗What? Come on, it's me. Pam.
961 00:42:54 别犯浑Don't be a dick.
962 00:42:56 拜托嘛 我才拉了一泡稀 我想出去了Come on! I just had watery diarrhea. I wanna get out of here.
963 00:43:00 - 臭死了 ! - 的确臭It stinks! It does stink.
964 00:43:03 好吧 让你出狱吧All right, let's get you out of there.
965 00:43:05 好耶 呼 !All right. Whoo!
966 00:43:08 我不喜欢蹲监狱I don't like being in a cage.
967 00:43:09 等下 你要放他出去 ?Wait, you're letting him out?
968 00:43:11 他可是毒贩子 你怎么会让他出去 ?He's the one that sold drugs. Why are you letting him out?
969 00:43:13 老兄 这样可不行 !Hey, man! Not cool!
970 00:43:15 你这样出卖我真够无情的That's a real dick move throwing me under the bus.
971 00:43:17 你扯毛呢 ?What the fuck are you talking about?
972 00:43:18 昨晚就是你在贩毒You're the one that sold drugs last night.
973 00:43:20 喂 伙计Hey, guy.
974 00:43:21 告密者都没好下场 懂吗Snitches get stitches! All right.
975 00:43:24 你最好把嘴闭紧点So why don't you shut your fucking mouth, bro.
976 00:43:26 没错 告密者都没好下场 朋友Yeah. Snitches get stitches, my friend.
977 00:43:28 我叫帕姆My name's Pam.
978 00:43:32 你这人真是无可救药了You are just incorrigible.
979 00:43:35 - 嗨 你好啊 芬奇 - 你还好吗 ?Hey. How are you, Finch? How you doing, hon?
980 00:43:37 - 很高兴见到你 嗨 - 芬奇 珍·芬奇Good to see you. Hey. Finchy. Jean Finch.
981 00:43:40 - 没错 - 本市最美警花You got it. Most beautiful woman on the police force right here.
982 00:43:43 其实只有我一个女人...Jeez. The only woman...
983 00:43:45 - 有件事 - 什么 ?Here's the deal. What's up?
984 00:43:47 我进来的时候随身带了一包毒品I came in here with a bag of drugs.
985 00:43:48 我不向你撒谎I'm not gonna lie to you.
986 00:43:50 没拿回来我可不能走I can't leave without it.
987 00:43:53 - 你们能帮忙吗 ? - 能Can you guys hook me up there? Yeah.
988 00:43:55 - 噢 加里 - 就是这包 ?Ooh! Gary! Yeah. These yours?
989 00:43:57 - 谢了 加里 - 接得好Thanks, Gar-bear. Oh, nice catch.
990 00:44:00 请记住下周二就要选举了Please remember next Tuesday is the election.
991 00:44:02 请为我投市长票Vote for me for mayor.
992 00:44:04 今年我一定能赢I'm gonna win this year. I'm gonna beat that goat.
993 00:44:09 - 帕姆 ! - 天啊 他这人真不错Pam! Pam! FINCH: My God. He is just a good one.
994 00:44:13 - 他最棒了 - 又有爱心又努力奋斗He is the number one... Lover and a fighter...
995 00:44:15 好吧 听我说Okay, listen.
996 00:44:18 伙计们 我真的很尊敬你们的工作Guys, I really respect the job you guys do.
997 00:44:21 我打心底里这么认为的I'm being completely honest from the bottom of my heart,
998 00:44:23 我敬仰你们 我也为法律奋斗I look up to you. I fight for the law.
999 00:44:27 - 谢谢夸奖 都没人对我们说过这种好话 - 从没有过Thank you. No one ever says that to us. Ever.
1000 00:44:28 我小时候的梦想就是当警察That's what I wanted to do when I was a kid.
1001 00:44:30 变得和你们一样I wanna do what you guys do.
1002 00:44:32 大部分人都只会Mostly people just call
1003 00:44:34 叫我们蠢猪 然后拿一堆垃圾食品砸我们us pigs and throw bags of fast food at us.
1004 00:44:36 我对于这场误会十分抱歉 但是请听我说I'm incredibly sorry for all this confusion, but listen to me,
1005 00:44:40 求你们了 你们得知道我是律师please, I have to let you know I'm a lawyer.
1006 00:44:43 - 哇 ! 你是律师 - 等下Whoa, whoa! You're a lawyer? Wait a second.
1007 00:44:45 是的 我是律师Yeah, I'm actually a lawyer.
1008 00:44:47 - 哇 可你完全没有律师的样子 - 是的Whoa. You don't look like a lawyer. No.
1009 00:44:49 真的 我是名公司律师Yeah, I handle, like, uh, corporate stuff.
1010 00:44:52 比如企业协议Like, uh, like LLC agreements.
1011 00:44:56 - 合伙人... - 我没听懂 我根本不懂你说的啥LP... You lost me. I don't even know what that means.
1012 00:44:58 - 你根本没有犹太人的样子 - 确实I mean, you don't look Jewish. No.
1013 00:45:02 仔细想想的话 其实挺搞笑的If you think about it, it's actually pretty funny.
1014 00:45:05 我这样的人居然进监狱...Like, ending up here on this side...
1015 00:45:07 确实很搞笑 真是太奇怪了It is. That is funny. It is so weird.
1016 00:45:10 - 很有黑色幽默的味道 - 确实It's darkly ironic. It really is.
1017 00:45:12 完全正确 黑色幽默Yes, exactly. Dark irony.
1018 00:45:15 我记得不是得至少80岁才能当律师吗I thought you had to be, like, at least 80 to be a lawyer.
1019 00:45:18 得上好多学呢 对吧 ?Lawyer. Like, it's a lot of school, right?
1020 00:45:19 没错Yeah.
1021 00:45:21 确实得学习很多It's a lot of school.
1022 00:45:23 监狱(测试)The bar...
1023 00:45:25 是我已经通过了的It's something I took and passed.
1024 00:45:27 而不是被关在里面It's not something I stand behind.
1025 00:45:29 是啊Yeah.
1026 00:45:31 我不是罪犯 简单的说I'm not on this side, typically,
1027 00:45:33 我只是...and I just, uh... I just...
1028 00:45:36 我很清楚我的权利 我现在希望打电话I know my rights and I would love my phone call.
1029 00:45:38 - 异议 - 驳回Objection. Overruled.
1030 00:45:40 - 请求接近法台 ? - 拒绝 !Permission to approach the bench. Denied!
1031 00:45:42 啥 ?What?
1032 00:45:44 - 当律师真容易 - 太容易了It's easy to be a lawyer. It's so easy.
1033 00:45:46 我希望打电话I would love my phone call.
1034 00:45:49 好吗 ?Okay?
1035 00:45:51 我很清楚自己的权利 我希望打电话I know my rights. I want my phone call.
1036 00:45:53 让我打电话Give me my phone call.
1037 00:45:54 我有理由打电话...I should have a phone...
1038 00:45:56 这是我第一修正案里的权利This is my First Amendment right.
1039 00:45:58 这是我第一... 吧啦吧啦...It is my first... First and foremost... Page one, number one...
1040 00:46:00 第一修正案规定我有权利打电话amendment says that I get my telephone.
1041 00:46:01 而最重要的是 我能打电话吗 ?And most of all, can I get a phone call?
1042 00:46:03 这是我第一修正案里的权利This is my First Amendment right.
1043 00:46:05 你好像不明白我有权利打电话I don't think you understand that I'm guaranteed a phone call.
1044 00:46:07 我可不会这么讲话I don't sound like that.
1045 00:46:09 是吗 ?　那你是怎么说话的 ?Yeah? What do you sound like then?
1046 00:46:11 肯定不是你这样的Um, not like that. I don't think I sound like that.
1047 00:46:15 把我的电话给我Give me my phone call.
1048 00:46:17 拜托 请让我打电话吧Oh, please, will you let me have my phone call? ...phone call.
1049 00:46:20 我是一名美国公民 而我有权利...I'm an American and I'm fucking guaranteed...
1050 00:46:22 我是一名美国公民I'm an American.
1051 00:46:24 我有权利打电话I am guaranteed a phone call.
1052 00:46:26 我有拨打电话的合法权利Legally, it's my right to have a phone call.
1053 00:46:31 我说我是一名美国公民I just said I'm an American
1054 00:46:32 我有权利打电话and I'm guaranteed a phone call.
1055 00:46:34 嗯 他开始发号施令了Hmm. Well, now he's getting demanding.
1056 00:46:37 - 是啊 - 我们最好赶紧把电话给他Yeah. We better give him his phone call.
1057 00:46:38 最好赶紧把电话给他Better give him his phone call.
1058 00:46:39 伙计们 拜托Guys, come on. Come on, please.
1059 00:46:41 这根本... 你们干嘛要这样 ?It doesn't... Why are we doing this?
1060 00:46:43 这是你的电话 对吧 ?This is your phone right here, right?
1061 00:46:45 是我的电话 没错That is my phone. Yes.
1062 00:46:47 给你说吧Well, you know what?
1063 00:46:49 我们得用你的手机打个电话We get to make one phone call on your phone.
1064 00:46:51 所以说估计会有点误会That's where you're just a little bit mixed up.
1065 00:46:53 嗯 希望你的套餐还有话费Yeah. Hopefully, you're not out of "Framily" Minutes.
1066 00:46:55 - 别别别 - 嗯 我们打个电话给Uber叫计程车No, no, no, no, no... Yeah, we get a free Uber ride on that.
1067 00:46:57 - 要打了 - 载我们出去吃午饭Go ahead. Take us out to lunch.
1068 00:46:59 嘿 这样吧 我们再给你设立个Hey, you know what? We're gonna be kind and set you up with
1069 00:47:01 Tinder账号(约会交友)a Tinder account too.
1070 00:47:02 噢 那Grindr账号怎么样 ? (同性交友)Ooh, how about Grindr. What about...
1071 00:47:04 快看 有人通过好友请求了Look at this, look at this.
1072 00:47:05 "何菲" 读音正确吗 ?"Jefe", is that how you pronounce that?
1073 00:47:06 耶 你觉得何菲如何 ?Yeah, how about Jefe?
1074 00:47:07 让你单独和何菲聊聊 ?Yeah. Huh? Little alone time with Jefe?
1075 00:47:10 他喜欢轻度交流 性爱抚 和调情He'd like some light conversation and heavy petting, flirting...
1076 00:47:13 调情取乐Flirtations.
1077 00:47:14 他外观就是个死肥宅Hmm. He looks thick and lonely.
1078 00:47:16 你晚上8点和他见面 你得带上清爽酒You'll meet him at 8:00. You'll bring wine coolers.
1079 00:47:18 还有...And...
1080 00:47:21 小号避孕套Children's condoms.
1081 00:47:24 - 我来拍张照片 - 噢Just gonna take a little picture. Oh.
1082 00:47:26 - 裤裆门 - 嗯 就小照几张Snatch-chat. Yeah, a little snach-chat.
1083 00:47:27 请别这么对待我的手机Please don't do that with my phone.
1084 00:47:29 希望你的摄像头是广角的Hope you got a wide angle lens on that.
1085 00:47:30 噢 ! 哇Oh! Wow.
1086 00:47:34 开玩笑的Kidding.
1087 00:47:38 有人为他交了保释金了 给这个变态一条裤子吧Somebody just posted his bail. Get that pervert some pants.
1088 00:47:41 好了All right.
1089 00:47:42 这几条裤子These were a couple pair of pants
1090 00:47:44 是90年代的一群狂欢失事的受害者的from murder victims from a 1990s orgy gone bad.
1091 00:47:50 有沾精液的和沾血迹的We got semen-stained or blood-stained.
1092 00:47:53 你想要哪条 ?Take your pick. What's it gonna be?
1093 00:47:56 - 血迹的 - 那就给你精液的好了Blood. Semen it is.
1094 00:48:01 - 终于出来了 - 别Hey, there he is. No.
1095 00:48:04 一句话都别和我说Don't even fucking talk to me.
1096 00:48:06 我知道昨晚有点偏离轨道Oh. Look, I know things got a little chaotic,
1097 00:48:08 但是我已经快撩到丽诺尔了...but I'm so close with Lenore...
1098 00:48:10 你他妈到底什么毛病啊 ?What the fuck is wrong with you?
1099 00:48:12 我马上就要结婚了 祖父 !I'm about to get fucking married, Grandpa!
1100 00:48:14 就在下周 ! 要和一个犹太女孩结婚 !In one week! To a Jewish girl!
1101 00:48:16 而我现在却进了监狱And I just woke up in fucking jail
1102 00:48:18 额头上还被画了几根丁丁with a bunch of penises on my forehead
1103 00:48:22 还摆出了纳粹十字的形状 !in the shape of a swastika!
1104 00:48:24 可以称其为"丁丁十字"Could call it a swasticock.
1105 00:48:28 - 啥 ? - 文字游戏而已What? It's a play on words.
1106 00:48:30 噢 原来是文字游戏啊Oh, it's a play on words.
1107 00:48:32 文字游戏啊A play on words.
1108 00:48:36 那你接下来试试这句话Play on these words.
1109 00:48:37 我把你送到I'm dropping you off
1110 00:48:39 你老战友的家里去at your old army vet buddy's house,
1111 00:48:41 由他来送你去博卡区he's gonna drive you to fucking Boca.
1112 00:48:43 我不送你了Because I'm fucking done with you.
1113 00:48:48 你又看啥呢 ?What the fuck are you looking at?
1114 00:48:50 我无法从你的乳头上移开视线I can't help staring at your tits.
1115 00:48:53 啪 !Pow!
1116 00:48:54 你到底搞什么鬼啊 ?What the fuck is wrong with you?
1117 00:49:00 臭臭在越南的击杀数You know, Stinky had more confirmed kills
1118 00:49:03 是我们连队的最高纪录 118人than anyone in our platoon back in 'Nam? 118.
1119 00:49:07 闭嘴吧Shut the fuck up.
1120 00:49:10 这是哪啊 ?What is this place?
1121 00:49:11 我不知道 也不在乎I don't know. Or care.
1122 00:49:13 至少和我一起进去瞧瞧吧At least just come in with me.
1123 00:49:14 确认下我们没走错Let's make sure it's the right house.
1124 00:49:16 你先请After you.
1125 00:49:19 年度最佳孙子Grandson of the year.
1126 00:49:21 包里有你祖母的骨灰呢Your grandmother's ashes are in there.
1127 00:49:26 她被埋在棺材里的 去你妹She's in a coffin. Fuck you!
1128 00:49:30 迟到总比不做好Oh, well, better late than never.
1129 00:49:33 耶 ! 干死他们 埃尔夫 !Yeah! Fuck them up, ALF!
1130 00:49:36 混球 !Motherfucker!
1131 00:49:38 臭臭 ?Stinky?
1132 00:49:40 你在这干嘛呢 迪克 ?What the fuck are you doing here, Dick?
1133 00:49:43 这个啊 ?Oh, this?
1134 00:49:46 没啥大不了的 肝衰竭Nah, this is liver failure.
1135 00:49:51 那女同性恋是谁 ?Who's the lesbian?
1136 00:49:53 他是我孙子 杰森That's my grandson, Jason.
1137 00:49:54 真的 ?Yeah?
1138 00:49:56 他是来和我玩撕逼的 ?Is he here to scissor with me?
1139 00:49:58 你这话太冒犯女同性恋了Okay, that's just offensive to lesbians.
1140 00:50:00 真抱歉啊 小娘炮I am very sorry, k.D. Lang.
1141 00:50:04 宾果游戏时间到Time for Bingo!
1142 00:50:06 走吧 臭臭 推你出去转转Come on. Stinky, we got to get you the fuck out of here.
1143 00:50:08 走了Come on, let's go.
1144 00:50:09 别 我只剩一个月可活了 迪克Uh, I got one fucking month left, Dick!
1145 00:50:13 我可不想你见到我这个样子I don't want you to remember me like this, man.
1146 00:50:16 我希望我在你的记忆里是战士I want you to remember me as a warrior.
1147 00:50:18 - 求你了 你走吧 - 可是...Please. Leave me be. But, Stinky...
1148 00:50:20 别 先让我说完 迪克No, no, no... Just let me finish, Dick.
1149 00:50:24 把你孙子留下来Leave me your beautiful lesbian grandson
1150 00:50:27 让他把我口交致死so he can blowjob me to death.
1151 00:50:32 我的人生已经结束了 迪克It's all over for me, Dick.
1152 00:50:35 我现在只想玩宾果You know, all I wanna do is play Bingo.
1153 00:50:40 你走吧Go.
1154 00:50:43 准备好了 ?All ready?
1155 00:50:48 宾果 !Bingo!
1156 00:50:57 我对于你朋友真遗憾 祖父I'm sorry about your friend, Grandpa.
1157 00:51:00 总会发生这种事So it comes to this.
1158 00:51:03 在身体死之前 你就会放弃生活Even before you die, you just stop living,
1159 00:51:07 人生就像一场闹剧一样and it's all one fucked-up facsimile of the real thing.
1160 00:51:16 我们得回去We have to go back.
1161 00:51:18 我知道Yeah. I know.
1162 00:51:21 我开车载我们回家吧I'll drive us home.
1163 00:51:23 不是亚特兰大 是代托纳比奇Not Atlanta. Daytona.
1164 00:51:26 啥 ?What?
1165 00:51:27 我必须上了那个妹子 杰森I have to fuck that girl, Jason.
1166 00:51:29 - 天啊 祖父 ! - 真的 我必须上她才行Jesus, Grandpa! I do. I have to fuck her!
1167 00:51:33 祖父 你现在只是太伤心了Grandpa, you're just depressed.
1168 00:51:35 因为祖母刚死 你有点迷失了方向You're confused right now because of Grandma.
1169 00:51:37 祖母也希望我这么做Grandma wanted me to do this.
1170 00:51:39 - 啥 ? - 她在死前告诉我的What? Yeah. She said when she died,
1171 00:51:41 她希望我看开点she wanted me to move on
1172 00:51:42 继续前进享受人生and live my life the way I wanted to,
1173 00:51:44 而你知道我现在想干嘛吗 ?and right now, you know what I want to do?
1174 00:51:46 我想要那个女大学生给我口交I want to get my dick sucked by that fucking college girl!
1175 00:51:48 这样对你有什么好处 ?What is that going to do for you?
1176 00:51:50 能让你找回年轻的感觉 ?Is that going to make you feel young again?
1177 00:51:51 对啊 有什么问题吗 ?Yeah! Yeah, what's wrong with that?
1178 00:51:53 是吗 ?Yeah?
1179 00:51:55 找回年轻的感觉 我现在还剩什么 ?Feeling young again? What do I have?
1180 00:51:57 过世的妻子 将死的朋友A dead wife, dying friends.
1181 00:51:59 如果运气好 还剩下几年健康的时光A few fucking good years left if I'm lucky.
1182 00:52:01 给你说吧 一想到这点我就害怕And you know what? It fucking freaks me out!
1183 00:52:04 是的Yeah.
1184 00:52:08 我不指望你能了解Look, I don't expect you to understand.
1185 00:52:10 你还年轻You're young.
1186 00:52:11 你还有好多日子在等着你You have a long, long time
1187 00:52:13 还没到你害怕的时候before you have to look into that abyss.
1188 00:52:15 但是就我的观点来看 和那妹子上床But the way I see it, having sex with that girl
1189 00:52:17 就是我最后的怒吼is my last stand.
1190 00:52:19 而且没你帮忙我根本成功不了And I can't do it without you.
1191 00:52:21 所以我请求你So I'm asking you.
1192 00:52:22 拜托了 杰森Please, Jason,
1193 00:52:24 再多陪我在这多待一天吧just stay one more day so I can do this.
1194 00:52:28 求你了Please.
1195 00:52:35 好了 代托纳比奇 谁想看脱衣表演 !Okay, Daytona Beach! Who's ready for a Flex Off!
1196 00:52:40 我说的可是叫男生上台来I'm talking about dudes getting on stage,
1197 00:52:42 脱光光 !getting ripped!
1198 00:52:45 耶 !Yeah!
1199 00:52:46 是的 我明天就回家 我保证Yes, I'll be home tomorrow. I promise.
1200 00:52:49 我知道And I know... Yes,
1201 00:52:51 我知道晚宴对于事务所来说很重要I know the dinner is important to the firm...
1202 00:52:52 等下 有人打电话过来了Hold on, I'm getting another call.
1203 00:52:53 可能是梅雷迪斯打的 拜It might be Meredith. Okay? Bye.
1204 00:52:56 - 喂 ? - 嘿 是我Hello? DICK: Hey, it's me.
1205 00:52:58 有人一拇指戳进了我的屁股Someone just stuck their thumb up my ass.
1206 00:53:00 啥 ?What?
1207 00:53:02 是的 我就站在这里Yeah, I was just standing right there,
1208 00:53:03 打着电话talking on the phone,
1209 00:53:04 结果有人突然跑到我背后and someone came right up behind me
1210 00:53:06 一拇指戳中了我的菊花and stuck their thumb up my ass.
1211 00:53:07 - 你有没有看清他的脸 ? - 千年杀 !Did you see who it was... Jamba!
1212 00:53:09 操 ! 别犯二了行么 !Ow! Fuck! Stop doing that!
1213 00:53:11 家里情况如何 ?How'd it go on the home front?
1214 00:53:12 你觉得呢 ?How do you think?
1215 00:53:13 我们走吧Come on. Let's go.
1216 00:53:15 走吧Come on.
1217 00:53:18 <<壮志凌云>>2人组 !Top Gun in the house!
1218 00:53:21 麦德林和古斯 !We got Maverick! We got Fat Goose!
1219 00:53:26 有挑战者吗 ?Do we have a challenger?
1220 00:53:28 这里 这里 !Right here! Right here!
1221 00:53:29 这两个人 !These two! She wants to! These two.
1222 00:53:31 挑她去 !Pick her!
1223 00:53:33 谁敢接受挑战 ?Who will accept this challenge?
1224 00:53:34 你敢上台的话You go up there, I'll let you do
1225 00:53:36 今晚我任你摆布whatever you want to me tonight.
1226 00:53:38 - 好吧 我上了 - 好耶 !All right, I'm doing it. Okay!
1227 00:53:39 - 啥 ? - 呼 !What? Whoo!
1228 00:53:42 别别别 你开玩笑的吧 ?No, no, no! Are you kidding me?
1229 00:53:43 我昨晚看到你的身材了 比科迪的好多了I saw your body last night, it's a lot better than Cody's.
1230 00:53:46 而我的身材肯定也比And my body sure as shit looks better
1231 00:53:48 台上那两头蠢货好得多than that fucking Shamu's up there.
1232 00:53:50 现场可有1000多号人呢There's, like, 1,000 people out here!
1233 00:53:51 结果却只有一个老头敢上台A lost old man has wandered on stage.
1234 00:53:53 你是他的保姆吗 ?Are you his nurse?
1235 00:53:55 我不干了No. Fuck no.
1236 00:53:56 快上台 快上台 !Get on stage! Get on stage!
1237 00:54:00 快上台 快上台 !Get on stage! Get on stage!
1238 00:54:02 快上台 快上台 !Get on stage! Get on stage!
1239 00:54:05 就当为了我Do it for me!
1240 00:54:06 快上台 快上台 !Get on stage! Get on stage!
1241 00:54:11 参赛选手是"壮志凌云"队So we have team Top Gun
1242 00:54:14 以及老变态和他的同性恋女儿versus creepy old guy and his lesbian daughter.
1243 00:54:19 好了 代托纳比奇 准备好看脱衣表演了吗 ?Okay, Daytona Beach, are you ready to Flex Off?
1244 00:54:23 3 ! 2 ! 1 !Three! Two! One!
1245 00:54:26 脱 !Flex!
1246 00:54:28 怎么 不会脱衣服吗 古斯 ?Ooh, having trouble getting that coat off, Fat Goose?
1247 00:54:31 额...Uh...
1248 00:54:33 瞧瞧他啊Look at this guy!
1249 00:54:36 他就像特蕾莎修女的阴道一样 !He's like Mother Teresa's vagina!
1250 00:54:38 虽老但紧 !Old and tight!
1251 00:54:41 快瞧啊 一看就是个基佬Hey, look, it's Cirque du So Gay!
1252 00:54:45 接下来呢 ?What now?
1253 00:54:49 欧哦 这老头子晕倒了 ?Uh-oh! Has the old man fallen?
1254 00:54:51 额 难道是Uh... Or is it...
1255 00:54:53 单手俯卧撑 !One-armed motherfucking push-ups!
1256 00:54:55 我了个去 !Holy shit!
1257 00:54:57 小同性恋也开始了Lesbian daughter's getting in on the action!
1258 00:54:59 我知道他昨晚磕了可卡因 !I happen to know he smoked crack last night!
1259 00:55:02 看来药劲还没过 !These push-ups are fuelled by the devil's candy!
1260 00:55:05 难以置信 !Unbelievable!
1261 00:55:09 该你们了 小娘炮们Your move, Dolly Parton.
1262 00:55:11 你们准备怎么做 壮志凌云 ?What are you gonna do now, team Top Gun?
1263 00:55:16 大家请记得And, hey, everybody, don't forget to stop by.
1264 00:55:17 来我的小店看看Tam Pam Surf Slam in town
1265 00:55:20 我卖"沙滩毛巾"where I'm selling "Beach towels"
1266 00:55:22 一盎司50块for 50 bucks an ounce.
1267 00:55:24 "防晒霜" 10块钱一袋"Sun screen" For 10 bucks a dime bag.
1268 00:55:28 我同时也卖冰毒 !And I'm also selling meth!
1269 00:55:30 噢 !Oh!
1270 00:55:32 他俩结婚了 !Just got married!
1271 00:55:34 该你们了 娘娘腔Your move, Viagra Falls.
1272 00:55:37 观众都在为壮志凌云尖叫 !Crowd going wild for team Top Gun!
1273 00:55:40 祖父 交给我吧 你看好 !Grandpa, I got this. Watch!
1274 00:55:43 展肌姿势 1 2 3Most muscular, on three. One, two, three.
1275 00:55:49 噢 这货好像放屁了Oh! I think this guy just sharted!
1276 00:55:52 我才没有 !No, I didn't! Yes!
1277 00:55:54 快叫救生员啊 他好像拉肚子了Call a lifeguard, I think there's been a shart attack!
1278 00:56:07 麦克风都没在我手上呢I'm not even holding the mic right now.
1279 00:56:12 滚粗吧 !You suck!
1280 00:56:14 我有主意了I have an idea.
1281 00:56:16 记得我小时候经常玩的那个动作吗 ?Do you remember that thing we used to do when I was a kid?
1282 00:56:19 没错Yeah.
1283 00:56:22 1 2 3...One, two, three...
1284 00:56:24 等下 这是啥 ?Hold on, what's this?
1285 00:56:26 发生什么事了 ?What is going on?
1286 00:56:29 老天啊 叹为观止啊 !Oh, my God, what am I seeing?
1287 00:56:33 我这是嗑嗨了吗 当然嗑嗨了 !Am I on drugs? Of course I am!
1288 00:56:36 但还是难以置信 !But this is still incredible!
1289 00:56:38 打破脱衣表演的记录了 !Flex Off history is being made!
1290 00:56:41 现在如何啊 伙计 ?What's up now, Brah?
1291 00:56:43 耶 现在如何啊 伙计 ?Yeah, what's up now, Brah?
1292 00:56:45 对啊 现在如何啊 伙计 ?Yeah, 'sup now, Brah?
1293 00:56:47 现在如何啊 伙计 ?'Sup now, Brah?
1294 00:56:48 现在如何啊 伙计 ?'Sup now, Brah?
1295 00:56:49 现在如何啊 伙计 ?'Sup now, Brah?
1296 00:56:52 简直难以置信 快掏出你们的手机 !This is incredible! Take out your cameras!
1297 00:56:55 传到网上去 ! 肯定得火 !Put this online! This shit is going viral!
1298 00:56:58 该死 放我下去Shit. Let me down.
1299 00:57:02 大家照下来了吗 ?Did everybody get a picture of that?
1300 00:57:04 你去哪啊 ?What the fuck are you doing?
1301 00:57:04 - 我不能干这种事 - 啥 ?I can't do this... What?
1302 00:57:06 - 天啊 - 脱衣表演God... The winners
1303 00:57:08 的冠军是...of the Alpha Delta Flex Off...
1304 00:57:10 等下 你们去哪 ?Wait a minute! Where are you going? Wh...
1305 00:57:11 伙计们 你们去哪啊 ?Guys? Hey! Where are you going?
1306 00:57:12 杰森 !Jason!
1307 00:57:14 别突然就跑了啊You can't just leave me here like this.
1308 00:57:15 你干嘛跑了 我们马上就赢了Why'd you stop? We were winning!
1309 00:57:16 因为我是律师 !Because I'm a lawyer!
1310 00:57:18 我不能被别人看到我做这种事I can't have people taking pictures of me doing stuff like this.
1311 00:57:20 你能想象下事务所看到我这样会有什么反应吗 ?Can you imagine if the firm saw something like that?
1312 00:57:23 根据规则 脱衣表演的冠军是...By default, the winner of the Flex Off is...
1313 00:57:27 这两个蠢货These two dildos.
1314 00:57:31 我以后的职业生涯都会处于危险状态...Every single day, my career's in jeopardy...
1315 00:57:33 - 你干嘛呢 ? - 我把打气棒What are you doing? I'm taking the regulator off
1316 00:57:36 里的校准器取下来the pneumatic propulsion system.
1317 00:57:38 递罐啤酒给我Give me a beer.
1318 00:57:40 祖父 你在军队里到底是什么职位 ?Grandpa, what did you really do for the army?
1319 00:57:43 我说过了 我是机修工I told you, I was a mechanic.
1320 00:57:44 才怪Bullshit.
1321 00:57:46 你会说阿拉伯语 还会短路点火车子You speak Arabic. You hotwired a golf cart.
1322 00:57:49 告诉我实话Tell me the truth.
1323 00:57:51 好吧 我是特种部队的All right, I was Special Forces!
1324 00:57:54 我在越南和伊拉克在敌人后方训练反叛分子I trained insurgents behind enemy lines from Vietnam to Iraq.
1325 00:57:57 赶紧递罐啤酒给我Now give me the fucking beer can! Come on!
1326 00:58:00 瞧瞧这蠢货啊 !Look at this dummy!
1327 00:58:02 真是个白痴 !What an idiot!
1328 00:58:08 呼 !Whoo!
1329 00:58:09 耶 再摔一次 !Yeah! Do it again!
1330 00:58:12 我们去科迪的房间换衣服 我之前摸了他的包We can change in Cody's room. I picked his pocket earlier.
1331 00:58:14 好了 大家散了吧All right. Nothing to see here, guys.
1332 00:58:17 马上有警察要来了Cops are gonna come pretty quick.
1333 00:58:20 我是他父亲No, no, this is his father, so that's what I'm saying.
1334 00:58:23 让他保持麻醉状态Keep him heavily sedated,
1335 00:58:24 如果有必要的话 请直接拔掉插头but don't be afraid to pull the plug if you have to.
1336 00:58:27 谢谢你 医生Thank you, Doctor.
1337 00:58:30 他们要明天才能出院了Okay. They're in the hospital till tomorrow!
1338 00:58:33 这间房今晚是我们的了The room's ours for the night.
1339 00:58:36 看看这群养尊处优的Look at these fucking people.
1340 00:58:38 就知道吃喝玩乐How was brunch at Hitler's house that day?
1341 00:58:41 祖父 我们家族里有其他人Hey, Grandpa, who else in our family knows
1342 00:58:43 知道你是特种部队的吗 ?that you were, uh, Special Forces or whatever?
1343 00:58:46 没有 就告诉了你一个人No one, once your grandmother passed.
1344 00:58:48 你父亲早在我的任务Your father stopped talking to me
1345 00:58:50 被公开之前就不和我说话了before my missions were declassified.
1346 00:58:52 所以他一直以为我只是个机修工So he always thought I was just an army mechanic.
1347 00:58:55 但你难道不认为But don't you think
1348 00:58:57 如果你告诉他真相的话that you guys would get along a little better
1349 00:58:58 你俩关系会好一些 ?if you told him?
1350 00:59:03 嘿 出来吧 看看你打扮得如何了Hey, come on. Let's see how you look. Come on out.
1351 00:59:10 首先First of all,
1352 00:59:12 根本没人会系白色皮带nobody wears a fucking white belt.
1353 00:59:14 只有空手道技术太差的人The only people who wear white belts
1354 00:59:15 以及不会享受现实生活的人are people who suck at karate
1355 00:59:17 才会系白皮带and people who suck at life.
1356 00:59:18 赶紧把皮带取了Take the fucking belt off.
1357 00:59:20 而且你最好把那蠢Polo衫And you better lose that fucking white polo shirt
1358 00:59:23 和起皱的卡其裤换掉and those pleated khaki pants.
1359 00:59:25 你这是去撩妹 又不是叫你You're meeting up with girls, not blowing an oil executive
1360 00:59:26 给石油大亨口交on a fucking golf course.
1361 00:59:28 穿这些吧Put these on.
1362 00:59:31 提醒你下Well, in case you forgot,
1363 00:59:34 我从昨晚开始就一直挂着空挡呢I don't even have underwear, from last night.
1364 00:59:36 赶紧穿吧 我转过身去All right, just put them on. I'll turn around.
1365 00:59:40 - 丁丁不错 - 老天啊 祖父Nice dick. Aw, jeez, Grandpa.
1366 00:59:42 丁丁确实不错 遗传到我的了That's a good dick. You got your grandpa's dick.
1367 00:59:45 虽然长宽高没有继承到 不过风格是一样的Not the girth, not the length, but same style.
1368 00:59:49 多谢夸奖That's good to know.
1369 00:59:50 你很幸运不是你父亲You're lucky you're not your dad.
1370 00:59:51 他继承的是他妈的丁丁He's got his mom's dick.
1371 00:59:53 什么鬼 ?What the fuck?
1372 00:59:55 赶紧穿裤子吧Now put your pants on.
1373 01:00:12 该死 是梅雷迪斯打来的Shit. It's Meredith.
1374 01:00:13 别接Don't answer it.
1375 01:00:15 我这周就要彩排了My rehearsal brunch is this weekend.
1376 01:00:17 今晚不准打电话No calls. For one night,
1377 01:00:19 别再担心你的婚礼了 拜托stop worrying about your wedding. Please.
1378 01:00:22 有两个性感又漂亮We have two hot, smart, beautiful college girls
1379 01:00:24 而且还是在性欲高峰期的大学生at the peak of their sexual powers
1380 01:00:26 准备今晚和我们共度春宵about to meet us at one of the last great nightclubs in Florida.
1381 01:00:28 担心好这事就行Worry about them.
1382 01:00:33 好吧Okay.
1383 01:00:55 你在这好像不太受欢迎I don't think you're very popular here, Grandpa.
1384 01:00:57 你才是该为自己担心的那个人Hey. You're the one that's going to have to watch out.
1385 01:00:59 当心被"奥利奥"了You might get Oreo'd.
1386 01:01:01 奥利奥 ?Oreo'd?
1387 01:01:03 也就是两个黑人干一个白人That's when two black guys fuck a white guy.
1388 01:01:05 而你就是中间那层奶油You're the cream in the middle.
1389 01:01:23 嗨 真高兴你们来了Hey! Glad you guys made it.
1390 01:01:24 我们去狂欢吧 ?Let's go get fucked up. Right?
1391 01:01:26 我继父恨我 !My stepdad hates me!
1392 01:01:29 走吧 !Let's go!
1393 01:01:40 狂欢到怀孕 !Party till you're pregnant!
1394 01:01:45 天啊 我最爱这首歌了 !Oh, my God, I love this song!
1395 01:01:49 你不会心脏病发作吧 ?You're not gonna die on me, are you?
1396 01:01:50 - 应该不会 - 好耶 !I don't think so. All right!
1397 01:02:00 - 走吧 - 不不不Come on. Oh, no. No.
1398 01:02:34 把帽子给我 !Oh, yeah. You want it? Come here, give me that hat!
1399 01:02:38 天啊...Oh, my God...
1400 01:02:43 给我 ! 这算啥 ?Give me that! What is this?
1401 01:02:45 嘿 嘿...Hey! Hey, hey, hey...
1402 01:02:47 别惹我那黑人私生子Leave my illegitimate black son alone.
1403 01:02:50 我们只是邀请他跳舞而已We were just asking him to dance.
1404 01:02:52 他可不想跳舞Well, he don't wanna dance.
1405 01:02:54 那你来替他跳啊Well, maybe you wanna dance instead.
1406 01:02:58 - 我也不想跳舞... - 肯德基上校 !I don't wanna dance... Colonel Sanders!
1407 01:02:58 没事 没事It's all right. It's all right.
1408 01:03:00 别在里面惹事Let's not dirty this place up.
1409 01:03:02 这里是圣堂 辛那特拉在这唱过歌 有本事去停车场 ?It's a shrine. Sinatra sang here. Parking lot?
1410 01:03:11 不会有事的It'll be fine.
1411 01:03:13 怎么可能没事 瞧瞧这帮人啊How is this going to be fine? Look at this crew.
1412 01:03:17 走吧 我们也有挺棒的队伍Come on. We have a good crew too.
1413 01:03:20 我们又没队伍We have no crew.
1414 01:03:22 我们又没队伍We have no crew.
1415 01:03:24 我们要去J.Crew买衣服 ?Are we going to J.Crew?
1416 01:03:26 J.Crew的衣服丑死了Fuck J.Crew.
1417 01:03:30 别这样Don't do this.
1418 01:03:31 估计我得和他们所有人打I think I'm going to have to fight them all,
1419 01:03:33 所以你得去吃第一拳so you're going to have to take the first punch.
1420 01:03:35 - 啥 ? - 好了 他先上What? Okay! He's up first.
1421 01:03:38 随便了Whatever.
1422 01:03:40 喜欢吗 小白脸 ?You like that shit, white boy?
1423 01:03:42 老兄 你有啥毛病呢 ?Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?
1424 01:03:43 啥 ? 你想当下一个吗 婊砸 ?What? You want next, bitch?
1425 01:03:45 喂 不是说好了我是下一个吗Hey, I thought I had next.
1426 01:04:04 向他道歉说不应该取笑他是GayTell him you're sorry you made fun of him for being gay.
1427 01:04:09 对不起 我不该取笑你是Gay的 !I'm sorry I made fun of you for being gay!
1428 01:04:11 给他说你和他生在不同年代Tell him you were raised in a different era,
1429 01:04:14 但是你现在已经认识到了but now you know it's wrong to judge people
1430 01:04:15 不应该根据别人的性取向批判别人based on their sexual orientation.
1431 01:04:18 而且如果你非得为了某种理由And that if you had to be gay with someone
1432 01:04:19 和谁搞基的话for some reason,
1433 01:04:21 你懂的 比如为了防止恐怖袭击啥的you know, to prevent a terrorist attack or something,
1434 01:04:23 那个人就是他it would be with him.
1435 01:04:25 啥 ? 嗷 !What? Ow!
1436 01:04:27 快说Say it.
1437 01:04:29 如果我非要通过搞基If I had to be gay with somebody
1438 01:04:33 来阻止恐怖袭击to prevent a terrorist attack,
1439 01:04:36 我肯定会选你 !it would be you!
1440 01:04:39 接受你的道歉了Apology accepted.
1441 01:04:41 好了Okay.
1442 01:04:44 趁我还没用另一只手的时候赶紧滚蛋Get out of here before I use my other arm.
1443 01:04:50 这事没完This ain't over.
1444 01:04:51 怕怕啊 !Ooh! Oh!
1445 01:04:54 赶紧带着你的小娘炮滚蛋吧Now fuck off and take Jodeci with you.
1446 01:04:57 我们走Let's roll.
1447 01:05:04 太可惜了 丽诺尔吐了自己一身Ah, it's too bad Lenore barfed all over herself tonight.
1448 01:05:07 要不然我肯定能和她上床I definitely could have had sex with her.
1449 01:05:09 嗯Yup.
1450 01:05:11 而且要是她只吐在前面了I probably could have still had sex
1451 01:05:14 而不是吐得满背都是的话if she just threw up on her front,
1452 01:05:15 我估计就要直接上她了but she somehow got it all over her back,
1453 01:05:16 不过事后我肯定会很内疚and I would have felt bad.
1454 01:05:19 骑士精神还没死Well, chivalry isn't dead.
1455 01:05:22 我欣赏你今晚挺身而出的勇气I like the way you took that haymaker tonight.
1456 01:05:25 有时候就是万事开头难Sometimes you just gotta take that punch up front, you know?
1457 01:05:28 坚持下来后面就轻松了Then things get easier in the long run.
1458 01:05:35 "De Oppresso Liber.""De Oppresso Liber."
1459 01:05:37 你刀上也刻着这段话It's written on your knife too.
1460 01:05:38 代表什么意思 ?What does that mean?
1461 01:05:40 嘿 12点后要熄灯的 男生们Hey, lights out after 12:00, boys.
1462 01:05:44 最好别让我逮到你们I better not catch you swimming
1463 01:05:45 游泳过河到女生宿舍去 懂没 ?across the lake to the girls' camp, okay?
1464 01:05:47 - 晚安 - 晚安Night. Good night.
1465 01:05:54 或许我明天约沙迪亚You know, maybe I'll find something to do
1466 01:05:57 出去玩玩with Shadia tomorrow
1467 01:05:58 这样你和丽诺尔就有独处的时间了and give you and Lenore a little more alone time.
1468 01:06:05 我感觉我俩就是在给你们当电灯泡的I kind of feel like we're just getting in your way.
1469 01:06:07 是吗 ?Yeah?
1470 01:06:10 我敢肯定有些...I'm sure there's something...
1471 01:06:11 什么鬼 ? 你把衣服全脱了 ?What the fuck? Did you just get naked?
1472 01:06:14 裸睡身体好啊Well, it's the best way to sleep.
1473 01:06:16 老天啊 !Oh, my God!
1474 01:06:18 我从乌干达友人那学来的I picked it up in Uganda from the Umbatdo.
1475 01:06:21 要是你的丁丁再碰到我的大腿Umbat-don't let your junk touch my leg again
1476 01:06:23 你就滚去睡地板去or you're sleeping on the floor.
1477 01:06:26 晚安Night.
1478 01:06:28 晚安Night.
1479 01:06:41 杰森...Jason...
1480 01:06:45 什么鬼 ! 我了个去 !The fuck! Oh, my God!
1481 01:06:54 这些人干嘛要砍树 ?What do these guys want to cut all the trees down for anyway?
1482 01:06:55 砍了建个什么For some stupid, like,
1483 01:06:57 又巨大又俗气的娱乐设施massive, tacky entertainment complex.
1484 01:06:59 你知道的 那种有拱形游廊的You know, the ones with, like, arcades
1485 01:07:01 还有激光标签的那种and laser tag. That sort of thing.
1486 01:07:02 激光标签 ? 我最喜欢激光标签了Laser tag? I love laser tag. Yeah.
1487 01:07:05 - 什么时候开业啊 ? - 很好 真是谢谢你啊When does it open? Nice. Thanks a lot.
1488 01:07:07 - 沙迪亚 - 嗨 格利兹Shadia! Hi, Griz.
1489 01:07:09 你上次拍的波斯顿照片真漂亮Oh, my God, your pics from the Boston rally look amazing!
1490 01:07:12 - 谢谢 - 不客气Thank you. Yeah. Absolutely.
1491 01:07:14 这草球卷得不错Sweet Hacky Sack, man.
1492 01:07:16 这不是草球 伙计 这只是表面上的名字而已It's not a Hacky Sack, dawg. That's the trade name.
1493 01:07:19 本质上是大麻卷It's an organic hemp-seed foot satchel.
1494 01:07:21 这富家公子跑来这干嘛啊 ?And what's someone from the fucking laser tag lobby doing here?
1495 01:07:24 我只是沙迪亚的朋友No, I'm just a friend of Shadia's.
1496 01:07:25 嗯 我朋友Just a friend.
1497 01:07:27 这玩意挺酷的 是什么 舞球 ?That's pretty cool, man. What is that, a dance ball?
1498 01:07:29 什么鬼 !Fuck! What the fuck?
1499 01:07:31 - 你可真逗 - 舞球...- You're fucking kidding me. - Dancing ball...
1500 01:07:33 什么鬼 !What the fuck!
1501 01:07:35 这是个4英寸的丙烯酸杂耍球It's a 4-inch acrylic juggling orb!
1502 01:07:36 混球Dick.
1503 01:07:38 那下周再见了Um... I'll see you guys, uh, next weekend.
1504 01:07:41 - 没问题 - 好的 拜Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah? Okay. Bye.
1505 01:07:43 你项链真漂亮Love your necklace.
1506 01:07:44 拜Bye.
1507 01:07:49 嘿 格利兹...Hey, Griz...
1508 01:07:52 别碰那玩意 是镭射标签公司的Don't touch that, it's from Laser Tag.
1509 01:07:53 抱歉Sorry.
1510 01:07:55 他们都是好人 我发誓They're good people. I swear.
1511 01:07:56 给我看看Let me see that.
1512 01:07:57 你怎么会认识"这些好人"的Where are you going with these "Good people"?
1513 01:08:00 我们准备一起合租We're heading out to the coast
1514 01:08:01 一条船 期限1年to, um, charter a boat for the year.
1515 01:08:04 - 1年 ? - 对For the year? Yeah.
1516 01:08:05 用来做什么 ?To do what?
1517 01:08:07 我们准备记录We're documenting the effects
1518 01:08:08 海洋的气候变化of climate change out on the ocean.
1519 01:08:11 你不是这周就要毕业了吗 ?Aren't you supposed to graduate next weekend?
1520 01:08:14 对啊Yeah.
1521 01:08:19 感觉你在逃避某些东西Seems to me like you're running from something.
1522 01:08:22 你难道就没有做过牺牲Come on, haven't you had to make sacrifices
1523 01:08:24 就爬到了现在这个大牌摄影师的位置 ?to get where you are as a photographer?
1524 01:08:26 当然有过 但是...I mean, yeah, but...
1525 01:08:29 是有区别的That's different.
1526 01:08:32 来瞧瞧Look at this.
1527 01:08:39 我讨厌自己的照片I hate photos of myself.
1528 01:08:41 为什么 ?Why?
1529 01:08:43 你看上去这么漂亮You look beautiful.
1530 01:08:47 看到没 ?See?
1531 01:09:03 喂Hey.
1532 01:09:05 等下 冷静点Wait, just calm down.
1533 01:09:07 什么 ?What?
1534 01:09:09 该死 我们马上到Shit. Yeah, we'll be right there.
1535 01:09:11 - 怎么了 ? - 得走了What's going on? We gotta go.
1536 01:09:14 然后我从厕所出来吼And then I came back from the bathroom
1537 01:09:16 之前在俱乐部里的那群黑人and all those black guys from the club
1538 01:09:18 把丽诺尔和理查德教授围住了were, like, standing around Lenore and Dr. Richards
1539 01:09:20 他们大吼大叫的 还威胁他们and they were yelling at them and threatening them
1540 01:09:22 然后把他们绑架了 !and they, like, kidnapped them!
1541 01:09:24 而且我看到他们其中一人有枪 !And I think one of them had a gun!
1542 01:09:26 你看到他们被带去哪了吗 ?Did you see where they took them?
1543 01:09:27 没有No.
1544 01:09:28 那群人住在蒂尔曼酒店Those guys are staying at The Tillman.
1545 01:09:29 我只知道这点And that's all I know.
1546 01:09:31 - 好的 - 走吧Okay. Come on!
1547 01:09:33 - 快走啊 - 该死Come on! Shit!
1548 01:09:39 怎么了 ?What?
1549 01:09:42 我闻到大麻的味道了I smell marijuana.
1550 01:09:43 嗯哼Mmm-hmm.
1551 01:09:47 你拿水桶干嘛 ?What are you going to do with a bucket?
1552 01:09:49 我也不知道 !I don't know!
1553 01:09:51 好的 数3声 准备好没 ?Okay, on three. Ready?
1554 01:09:54 1 2 3 !One, two, three!
1555 01:09:58 让我再试一遍Okay, let me try one more time.
1556 01:10:00 The GZA, the RZAThe GZA, the RZA,
1557 01:10:05 Ol' Dirty BastardOl' Dirty Bastard.
1558 01:10:07 怎么回事 ?What's going on?
1559 01:10:08 和黑帮有关的事Gang stuff.
1560 01:10:10 大厨瑞空 !Raekwon the Chef!
1561 01:10:12 还有表演家 !And the Method Man!
1562 01:10:18 原来你们在这啊 ! 你们的抗议游行如何了 ?Hey! Here they are! How was the protest?
1563 01:10:21 额 挺顺利的Uh, it was good.
1564 01:10:23 嗯 挺顺利的Yeah, it was good.
1565 01:10:25 这位是 拉马尔 小克里斯 大克里斯This is Lamar, Lil' Chris, Big Chris,
1566 01:10:28 莫里·芬克尔斯坦Murray Finkelstein.
1567 01:10:30 还有你们之前见过面的泰·瑞松And, of course, you've already met Ty-rizone.
1568 01:10:32 这老黑鬼真是个疯子That nigga's crazy, man.
1569 01:10:35 不过"黑鬼"这称呼到底怎么回事啊 ?Yeah, what's with the N-word, anyway?
1570 01:10:36 我有时候能说 我有时候又不能说...I can say it. I can't say it...
1571 01:10:37 取得我们同意之后你才能说You can say it when we let you say it.
1572 01:10:39 指的就是永远别说Which is never.
1573 01:10:41 任何情况下都别说这词Just never say that under any circumstances.
1574 01:10:47 二手烟 !Oh! Shotgun!
1575 01:10:52 到底怎么回事 ?What the fuck is going on?
1576 01:10:54 我还以为这伙人要杀了你I thought these guys wanted to kill you!
1577 01:10:56 黎巴嫩红雪茄Lebanese Red.
1578 01:10:58 我之前参军的时候I had some of this left over
1579 01:11:00 在中东搞到的from my time in the Middle East.
1580 01:11:02 只要你请别人抽这玩意You throw some of this shit around,
1581 01:11:03 啥麻烦都能脱身you can really get away with anything.
1582 01:11:04 来根试试Have some.
1583 01:11:06 你现在开始抽雪茄了 ?You're smoking grass now?
1584 01:11:08 老天啊 这东西会上瘾的 祖父Jesus, this is a gateway drug, Grandpa.
1585 01:11:10 嗯 而你就是个胆小鬼Yeah, well, you just opened the gateway to being a pussy.
1586 01:11:12 - 试试吧 - 教授Take some. Yo, D.
1587 01:11:13 我们闪人吧 !Let's fucking bounce!
1588 01:11:15 我们闪人吧 !Let's fucking bounce!
1589 01:11:16 去哪 ?Where?
1590 01:11:19 一切都安好啦And everything is all right
1591 01:11:22 金对我丢信号了 而她可以上床一整晚I got a beep from Kim And she can fuck all night
1592 01:11:26 把大伙都叫上吧Called up the homies and I'm asking y'all
1593 01:11:29 你们平时都在哪打篮球 ?Which park are y'all playing basketball?
1594 01:11:32 派我上场 看我发威Get me on the court and I'm trouble
1595 01:11:35 上星期随便玩玩就拿了三双Last week fucked around And got a triple double.
1596 01:11:38 我能说吗 ? 能说吗 ?Can I say it? Can I say it?
1597 01:11:40 别别别No! No, no.
1598 01:11:42 说吧 ! 说吧 !Say it! Say that shit!
1599 01:11:44 黑鬼们都和迈克尔·乔丹一样Freaking niggas every way like MJ
1600 01:11:52 我今晚一定要上了他I'm totally gonna fuck him tonight.
1601 01:11:54 嗯嗯 我能旁观吗 ?Uh-huh. Can I watch?
1602 01:11:56 因为我现在也想上他了'Cause I kind of want to fuck him too now.
1603 01:12:00 把麦砸掉 ! 把麦砸掉 !Drop the mic, baby! Drop the mic, baby!
1604 01:12:02 这才对嘛 !That's what I'm talking about!
1605 01:12:04 下台了 黑鬼 !Peace out, niggas!
1606 01:12:05 唱得好 伙计I see you, boy.
1607 01:12:06 太棒了 !Nasty!
1608 01:12:11 下一首歌由沙迪亚和杰森表演Up next we have Shadia and Jason!
1609 01:12:13 到我们了Yep, that's us now.
1610 01:12:16 啥 不不不What? No. No, no, no, no.
1611 01:12:18 - 不 - 来嘛No... Come on.
1612 01:12:20 我们绝对没祖父唱得好 我才不要唱We can't top that. I don't want to do this.
1613 01:12:23 你会唱这首歌的 歌词都倒背如流的 看到没 ?You know the song. You know every word. See?
1614 01:12:28 你要让我唱完整曲 ?You're going to make me do it all alone?
1615 01:12:30 好吧Fine.
1616 01:12:33 嘿Hey.
1617 01:12:35 为了无数次你对我的支持For all those times you stood by me
1618 01:12:39 为了所有你让我明白的真理For all the truth that you made me see
1619 01:12:42 为了你带给我的无穷欢乐For all the joy you brought to my life
1620 01:12:46 为了你更正的所有错误For all the wrong that you made right
1621 01:12:50 为了你使之成真的每一个梦想For every dream you made come true
1622 01:12:54 为了你给我的全部的爱For all the love I found in you
1623 01:12:58 我将永远心存感激I'll be forever thankful, baby
1624 01:13:03 让我振作起来的你You're the one who held me up
1625 01:13:06 对我永不放弃And never let me fall Yeah, yeah
1626 01:13:10 你伴我度过You're the one who saw me through
1627 01:13:14 这一切的一切Through it all
1628 01:13:17 当我虚弱无力时 你就是我的力量之源You were my strength when I was weak
1629 01:13:21 当我缄默不语时 你就是我的口舌代言You were my voice when I couldn't speak
1630 01:13:24 当我视而不见时 你就是我的明亮双眼You were my eyes when I couldn't see
1631 01:13:28 你发现了最好的我You saw the best there was in me
1632 01:13:32 当我无力攀登时 你把我托起Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
1633 01:13:36 你对我坚贞不渝You gave me faith 'cause you believed
1634 01:13:40 因为你相信我就是我I'm everything I am.
1635 01:13:46 我去Damn!
1636 01:13:59 你到底是哪个明星啊 ?Who are you?
1637 01:14:03 我只是想说 唱歌这么棒的人I'm just saying, who sings that well
1638 01:14:06 居然不是职业歌手 ?and isn't a professional singer?
1639 01:14:08 你唱歌这么棒 居然还做这种破工作You're so good at singing you actually suck!
1640 01:14:11 你们要不要来杯睡前酒 ?You guys want to come up for a nightcap?
1641 01:14:12 嗯 额...Yeah, well...
1642 01:14:14 看看能不能有进展 ?See if shit gets real?
1643 01:14:18 年轻小伙子和我Well, uh, young Michael Buble and I
1644 01:14:21 准备去泳池边抽根雪茄先are gonna have a stogie by the pool, so...
1645 01:14:23 好的Okay.
1646 01:14:26 - 待会见 ? - 嗯See you up there? Yeah.
1647 01:14:33 我希望你知道我有多感激I want you to know how much I appreciate
1648 01:14:35 你为我做的这一切 杰森you doing this for me, Jason.
1649 01:14:38 孙子能给祖父最棒的礼物就是The greatest gift a grandson can give his grandfather
1650 01:14:41 一个愿意趁老头子死前is a hot college girl who
1651 01:14:42 不带套和他做爱的性感女大学生wants to have unprotected sex with him before he dies.
1652 01:14:46 大部分祖父都只想着要吃太妃糖Yeah, well, most grandpas just want toffee.
1653 01:14:54 怎么了 ?What's the matter?
1654 01:14:57 我估计我得取消婚礼了I think I'm gonna call off my wedding.
1655 01:15:02 额 当一个人结婚之后 确实得持续好多年Well, when you get married, it's for a long fucking time.
1656 01:15:06 确实很困难And it's hard.
1657 01:15:08 所以最好选择一个So it damn well better be with a woman
1658 01:15:11 生活比较有趣的女人who keeps things interesting.
1659 01:15:13 你知道你祖母You know your grandmother,
1660 01:15:15 有次想亲手种盆栽吗 ?she tried to grow her own pot plant once?
1661 01:15:18 - 是吗 ? - 嗯Really? Yeah,
1662 01:15:19 她只是想验证下自己有没有这能力she just wanted to see if she could do it.
1663 01:15:23 她总是在这种小事上给我惊喜She was always surprising me like that.
1664 01:15:28 而且我们每五年会尝试一次肛交We also tried anal once every five years.
1665 01:15:32 真棒Sweet.
1666 01:15:36 我真想念能有个分享一切的人I miss having someone to share everything with.
1667 01:15:41 把沙迪亚蒙在鼓里It's not fair to just keep Shadia
1668 01:15:43 不公平in the dark like this.
1669 01:15:45 从我们一开始 这一切就是建立在谎言上的Since we started this, it's just been one big lie.
1670 01:15:48 她根本不知道我的身份She has no idea who I am.
1671 01:15:51 我得给她说清真相I have to tell her the truth.
1672 01:15:54 或许今晚不是时候Uh, well, maybe telling her tonight is a little abrupt.
1673 01:15:58 感情里最重要的部分就是信任The most important part of a relationship is trust.
1674 01:16:00 没错That's right.
1675 01:16:02 而我要从现在就开始信任她And I'm going to start now.
1676 01:16:05 又或者你可以等我今晚和丽诺尔上了床之后Or you can just wait till I have sex with Lenore tonight,
1677 01:16:08 你再给沙迪亚全盘托出then you can tell Shadia everything.
1678 01:16:10 不行 我撒不下去了No. I'm just lying.
1679 01:16:12 杰森 我是你祖父Jason, I'm your grandfather!
1680 01:16:15 你得等我上完妹子之后再告诉她You wait till I fuck that college girl!
1681 01:16:16 - 我现在就告诉她 - 杰森...I'm telling her now. Jason...
1682 01:16:19 杰森 杰森 !Jason! Jason!
1683 01:16:20 杰森 !Jason!
1684 01:16:22 杰森 !Jason!
1685 01:16:26 现在如何啊 伙计 ?'Sup, brah?
1686 01:16:29 走开 大奶男Back off, D cups!
1687 01:16:32 这不就是传说中的"教授"吗Well, if it isn't the "Professor."
1688 01:16:35 现在的网络真是发达You know, it's amazing what you can find
1689 01:16:37 光靠个名字就能搜出一大堆资料with a name and Google these days.
1690 01:16:39 你不是教授 ?You're not a real professor?
1691 01:16:41 天啊 ! 你居然撒谎 你怎么能这样Oh, my God! You lied to us. How could you.
1692 01:16:43 等下 等下 接下来才是最棒的部分Wait, wait, wait, this is the best part.
1693 01:16:45 接下来才是最棒的部分This is the best part.
1694 01:16:48 理查德"迪克"凯莉 陆军中校Richard "Dick" Kelly, Lieutenant Colonel
1695 01:16:51 服役于美国陆军in the United States Army,
1696 01:16:54 又名美国角斗士"氮气"also known as the American Gladiator "Nitro."
1697 01:16:57 你到底搜了啥啊 ?What the fuck did you Google?
1698 01:16:59 好吧 接下来还有另一个最棒的部分Okay, well, there's another best part then.
1699 01:17:04 "杰森·凯莉将和梅雷迪斯·戈德斯坦结婚""Jason Patrick Kelly will wed Meredith Miriam Goldstein"
1700 01:17:09 "地点杰利科神庙 时间3月27日 星期六""At Jericho Temple on Saturday, March 27th."
1701 01:17:12 等下 也就是说是下周六咯Oh, wait, that's, um, next Saturday.
1702 01:17:17 等下 你们是爷孙俩 ?Wait, you're grandfather and grandson?
1703 01:17:20 老天啊 简直糟透了Oh, my God! That is so fucked up.
1704 01:17:23 简直太性感了 额 简直太糟了That is so hot. I mean, that is so fucked up.
1705 01:17:28 所以说...So...
1706 01:17:32 你下周就要结婚了 ?Are you getting married next weekend?
1707 01:17:34 我本来是打算结婚的I was. I was getting married,
1708 01:17:36 结果遇见了你 而我现在...but then I met you, and now I don't...
1709 01:17:39 我的天 别对我用这招Oh, my God! No. Don't pull that shit.
1710 01:17:43 我感觉已经够蠢了I feel fucking stupid enough as it is.
1711 01:17:49 你也不是教授 ? 那你是摄影师么 ?So you're not a professor? Are you even a photographer?
1712 01:17:52 我是律师I'm a lawyer.
1713 01:17:56 我处理证券交易委员会的投诉I handle SEC compliance.
1714 01:18:00 公司责任协议LLC agreements.
1715 01:18:01 我上来是为了...I came up here to...
1716 01:18:02 你赶紧滚吧 杰森Get the fuck out, Jason. Seriously.
1717 01:18:04 能让我解释下吗 ?Can I have a second to explain?
1718 01:18:05 不行 !No!
1719 01:18:07 等下 等下 别急 "教授"Hold up, hold up. Not so fast, "Professor."
1720 01:18:11 就我所知For what's it worth,
1721 01:18:13 我还是想上你I still really want to fuck you.
1722 01:18:15 - 那我们就去上床吧 - 没错And we're going to fuck. Yeah, we are.
1723 01:18:17 我们干个不爽不归We're going to thunder fuck.
1724 01:18:18 我要你射我脸上 !You're gonna tsunami on my face!
1725 01:18:20 你会喷出一整条尼罗河的水You're gonna flood like the Nile.
1726 01:18:22 看来我阴道的旱灾终于过去了Yeah. I guess the drought in my pussy is finally over.
1727 01:18:25 村民们终于有东西吃了The villagers will finally eat.
1728 01:18:27 你要给我口交致死You're gonna die while you're eating me out.
1729 01:18:28 而你死前最后一口气都是我阴道的味道I want your last breath to be in my pussy.
1730 01:18:30 丽诺尔 你真是够淫荡的Lenore! You're such a slut.
1731 01:18:31 - 警察 - 该死Police! Shit!
1732 01:18:33 没错 警察驾到That's right. Po-po in the ho-ho.
1733 01:18:35 你们在开大麻聚会吗 ?Some kind of ganja party?
1734 01:18:37 抱歉不请自来了Sorry to harsh your mellows.
1735 01:18:38 怎么没邀请我啊 ?Where's my e-vite?
1736 01:18:40 - 检查下右口袋 - 这就检查Is that the jacket? Check the right coat pocket. Check it, man.
1737 01:18:41 好了 转过身去Okay, turn around. Come on.
1738 01:18:43 那是我的外套 不是他的That's my jacket. That's not his jacket.
1739 01:18:44 对着墙壁 就这样Up against the palm. There you go.
1740 01:18:46 来搜搜看 你口袋里都是啥啊Let's have a look. What've you got in here? Huh?
1741 01:18:47 找到了Bingo-bango. OMG.
1742 01:18:49 什么鬼 ? 这不是我的 !What the fuck? That's not mine!
1743 01:18:50 - "什么鬼 ?" - 这不是我的 !"What the fuck?" That's not mine!
1744 01:18:53 什么鬼 ? 看来春假旅行The fuck? Well, it looks like Spring Break
1745 01:18:55 终于可以告别毒品了is finally drug free!
1746 01:18:57 快来 走了 小白脸Come on, let's go. Let's go, pretty boy.
1747 01:18:58 请吧 ?Oh, shall we?
1748 01:19:00 不 事情可不是这么办的 走吧No, it doesn't go down that way. Let's go.
1749 01:19:02 我会等你的 祖父I'll wait for you, Grandpa.
1750 01:19:04 替我保持阴道紧致 !Keep that shit tight for me!
1751 01:19:05 他就是我的亨利·米勒He's my Henry Miller.
1752 01:19:08 什么鬼意思 ?What the fuck does that mean?
1753 01:19:09 完全正确Exactly!
1754 01:19:13 嗨 终于来了Hey, there he is.
1755 01:19:16 你裤子上有血迹You got blood on your pants, you know.
1756 01:19:18 你的驾照根本没被吊销 对吧 ?Your license isn't even suspended, is it?
1757 01:19:20 这一切都是你编的 就是为了让我陪你来这里You made all this up just so I'd come down here with you.
1758 01:19:22 我只是想确保你能来I had to make sure you'd come.
1759 01:19:24 去你妹 !Fuck you!
1760 01:19:26 冷静点 解释 哈库拉玛塔塔Just chill, Jason. Hakuna matata.
1761 01:19:30 你到底是谁啊 ?Who the fuck are you?
1762 01:19:32 我早该在你第一次撩妹的时候I should have known you were fucking crazy
1763 01:19:34 就了解到你是个疯子的the moment you started hitting on women
1764 01:19:36 而且祖母才刚过世 !the day after Grandma's funeral!
1765 01:19:38 你可给我收敛点Don't you fucking judge me.
1766 01:19:39 你完全不了解我和你祖母的过去You have no idea what I had with your grandmother.
1767 01:19:42 这几天我干的这些事And everything I've done these last few days
1768 01:19:43 都只有一个原因I've done for a reason.
1769 01:19:45 你一结婚就等于断了自己的人生You were about to fuck up royally by getting married,
1770 01:19:47 - 你自己也清楚 ! - 是吗 ?and you fucking know it! Oh, yeah?
1771 01:19:48 那我现在该怎么办 ?What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
1772 01:19:52 跑去追那个Chase around some college girl
1773 01:19:54 都不愿意和我说话的大学女生 ?that doesn't even want to fucking talk to me?
1774 01:19:56 而且都不知道我接下来的人生该干嘛 ?Not know what the fuck I'm doing for the rest of my life?
1775 01:19:58 对 因为至少这样Yeah, because at least you'd be thinking
1776 01:19:59 你会为自己思考for yourself for a change.
1777 01:20:00 这句话到底是什么意思 ?What the fuck does that even mean?
1778 01:20:02 你父亲操控了你成年后的Your father has lorded over every decision
1779 01:20:03 每一个决定you've made in your adult life,
1780 01:20:05 而梅雷迪斯就是最好的例子and Meredith is just the latest example of that!
1781 01:20:08 她又不适合你 杰森She's not right for you, Jason.
1782 01:20:09 如果你娶了她 你接下来的一生就是行尸走肉If you marry her, you're going to be sleepwalking
1783 01:20:11 而且会特别不幸福through the rest of your life and be completely unhappy,
1784 01:20:13 就和你父亲一样just like your father!
1785 01:20:14 我现在就很不高兴I am already unhappy with my life,
1786 01:20:16 因为从头到尾我都在被你耍because I've done nothing but get fucked by you
1787 01:20:19 还被带着到处撩妹上妹子and this insane fuck rampage that you've been on.
1788 01:20:22 这旅行根本不是为我准备的It wasn't a "Fuck rampage" For me.
1789 01:20:24 而是为你准备的It was a "Fuck rampage" For you.
1790 01:20:25 怎么又是为我准备的了 ?How? How is this for me?
1791 01:20:27 我是一个不尽责的父亲I fucked up as a father.
1792 01:20:28 我没有陪你爸成长I wasn't there to raise your dad
1793 01:20:30 而他变成了一个唯物主义者and he turned into a materialistic,
1794 01:20:32 妻管严 平凡无奇的人henpecked, poop-dick country clubber.
1795 01:20:35 我不希望你变成那种人I don't want that to happen to you.
1796 01:20:36 原来这才是你的目的 ?So that's what this was?
1797 01:20:41 我就是你的自我救赎棋子I was your last-ditch redemption project.
1798 01:20:49 恭喜你 祖父Congratulations, Grandpa.
1799 01:20:51 你以为自己是不称职的父亲 ?You thought you were a shitty father?
1800 01:20:55 你现在也变成不称职的祖父了Now you're a shitty grandfather.
1801 01:21:00 我不希望在婚礼上见到你I don't want to see you at my wedding.
1802 01:21:03 以后离我远点Stay the fuck away from me.
1803 01:21:47 两个大小 喜欢哪个 ?So, do you like this size, or this size?
1804 01:22:02 亲爱的典礼会场主办方说Hey, hon, uh, the people at the venue
1805 01:22:04 他们没有足够的薄荷纸巾said they don't have enough mint napkins,
1806 01:22:06 你比较喜欢哪个 ?so which one do you like better?
1807 01:22:09 海沫绿还是淡草绿The seafoam or the pistachio?
1808 01:22:14 我去开I'll get it.
1809 01:22:31 是谁啊 ?What is it?
1810 01:22:33 噢 是别人送的结婚礼物Oh, it's, uh... Just another wedding present.
1811 01:22:35 我希望里面装的是I hope it's that new big dipping spoon
1812 01:22:38 高档汤勺from Williams-Sonoma.
1813 01:22:50 献给梅雷迪斯和杰森And as a tribute to Meredith and Jason
1814 01:22:55 以及你们之前的爱情and the love that you guys share.
1815 01:22:57 这是一种我不知道的爱A love I will never know because my dog
1816 01:22:59 因为我自己的狗在我手淫的第一天就死了died the first day I masturbated.
1817 01:23:01 所以我现在根本硬不起来 除非...So now I can't get hard unless...
1818 01:23:02 好了Okay.
1819 01:23:04 还有 我们得阻止下ISIS 他们太过头了Also, we've got to stop ISIS. It's gotten... It's too much.
1820 01:23:09 没摔 没摔Got it. Got it.
1821 01:23:12 今天我们到来并不只是You know, today's celebration is much more
1822 01:23:15 为了庆祝两人的结合than just about the union of two people,
1823 01:23:19 同时也意味着两个家庭的结合it's also about the union of two families.
1824 01:23:20 梅雷迪斯...Meredith...
1825 01:23:22 凯莉家和戈德斯坦家The Kellys and the Goldsteins.
1826 01:23:25 请杰森和梅雷迪斯上台讲讲他们自己的故事吧Let's have Jason and Meredith tell their own story.
1827 01:23:33 讲得好 戴夫叔叔 !Nice job, Uncle Dave!
1828 01:23:42 为了无数次你的支持For all those times you stood by me
1829 01:23:46 为了所有你让我明白的真理For all the truth that you made me see
1830 01:23:50 为了你带给我的无穷欢乐For all the joy you brought to my life
1831 01:23:53 无穷欢乐Into my life
1832 01:23:55 为了你更正的所有错误For all the wrong that you made right
1833 01:23:58 为了你使之成真的每一个梦想For every dream you made come true
1834 01:24:02 为了你给我的For all the love.
1835 01:24:04 全部的爱I found in you
1836 01:24:06 我将会...I'll be...
1837 01:24:08 我将永远心存感激You've gotta be forever thankful, baby
1838 01:24:12 让我振作起来的你You're the one who held me up
1839 01:24:15 对我永不放弃Never let me fall.
1840 01:24:20 放大招吧Let's go in for the kill.
1841 01:24:22 这一切的一切Through it all
1842 01:24:32 你被入侵了You've been hacked.
1843 01:24:33 当我虚弱无力时 你就是我的力量之源You were my strength when I was weak
1844 01:24:36 当我缄默不语时You were my voice...
1845 01:24:38 你就是我的口舌代言When I couldn't speak
1846 01:24:40 当我视而不见时 你就是我的明亮双眼You were my eyes when I couldn't see
1847 01:24:44 你发现了最好的我You saw the best there was in me
1848 01:24:48 当我无力攀登时 你把我托起Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
1849 01:24:57 因为你相信我就是我I'm everything I am
1850 01:25:03 因为你爱我Because you loved me.
1851 01:25:20 什么鬼 ?What the fuck?
1852 01:25:24 这可不是玛莎文雅岛That is not Martha's Vineyard.
1853 01:25:27 杰森 !Jason!
1854 01:25:30 - 赶紧换掉 ! - 我在努力了 宝贝Take it off! Trying, dear. Trying.
1855 01:25:32 别换掉Leave them on.
1856 01:25:33 赶紧换掉Shut it down.
1857 01:25:35 我有话想说I have something to say.
1858 01:25:40 我感觉这一生所有的决定I think I've been listening to everybody else
1859 01:25:44 都是遵从别人的意见来的about what I should be doing with my life.
1860 01:25:46 我祖父说过一句很有意思的话My grandpa said something really interesting.
1861 01:25:49 好了 把麦切掉 我要上去了All right, cut the mics. I'm going up.
1862 01:25:52 万事开头难Take that punch,
1863 01:25:53 后面就简单了that point forward, things get easier.
1864 01:25:56 - 麦克风断了 - 你的麦克风断线了The mic's off. Jason, your mic cut out.
1865 01:25:58 啥 ?What?
1866 01:26:00 你的麦克风断线得不是时候Your mic cut out at the most inopportune time,
1867 01:26:02 我们就不知道so we can't hear
1868 01:26:03 你为什么要让那些照片留在画面上了why you want to leave those images up.
1869 01:26:06 敲打不管用的Hitting it won't work.
1870 01:26:07 他们从源头切断了 乐队 ?If they caught it from the PA... Band?
1871 01:26:09 高什么鬼 ?What the fuck?
1872 01:26:12 尼克 你能替我带句话给她吗 ?Nick, can you tell her something for me?
1873 01:26:14 请告诉她...Can you tell her that, uh...
1874 01:26:18 我非常抱歉 但是我不能娶她I'm really sorry, but I can't marry her.
1875 01:26:22 你觉得应该由我来宣布这个消息 ? 好吧...You think that message should come from me? Okay... Uh...
1876 01:26:27 雷蒙叔叔Uncle Ramon,
1877 01:26:29 请告诉梅雷迪斯 杰森很抱歉can you tell Meredith that Jason's sorry,
1878 01:26:31 但是他不能娶她but that they can't get married?
1879 01:26:36 我操 !Oh, fuck!
1880 01:26:39 我忘记雷蒙叔叔是聋子I forgot Uncle Ramon was deaf
1881 01:26:41 我还自顾自的说了一大堆and I talked to him like a normal.
1882 01:26:44 鲁本叔叔Uncle Ruben,
1883 01:26:46 请告诉梅雷迪斯 杰森很抱歉can you please tell Meredith that Jason is really sorry,
1884 01:26:48 但是他不能娶她but that he can't marry her?
1885 01:26:53 他说他很抱歉 但是他不能娶你He says he's very sorry, but he can't marry you.
1886 01:26:58 鲁本叔叔Uncle Ruben,
1887 01:27:00 你能把音量开大点吗 ?can you turn that thing up a little?
1888 01:27:01 开不大了It doesn't get any louder.
1889 01:27:04 这到底是啥玩意 ? 终结者 ?Where'd you get that thing, SkyMall?
1890 01:27:07 就按照事情发展的结果来看At this point, I'm kind of nervous
1891 01:27:09 我很担心我问谁 谁都有残疾that anybody I pick will have a disability.
1892 01:27:12 好吧 服务员 喂Okay... Waiter... Hey, Pubes.
1893 01:27:17 请告诉梅雷迪斯Can you please go tell Meredith
1894 01:27:19 我表哥杰森非常抱歉that my cousin Jason is very sorry,
1895 01:27:20 但是他不能娶她but they cannot get married?
1896 01:27:22 额 拜托 老兄 这是我上班第一天Uh... Come on, man. It's my first day here...
1897 01:27:25 我知道这是你第一天上班I know it's your first day,
1898 01:27:26 但是大家需要你拿出男人的样子but everybody needs you to be a man here.
1899 01:27:29 好吧Okay.
1900 01:27:33 就一句短话...Just real quick...
1901 01:27:35 他叫我来告诉你...He sent me... He wants me to tell you that...
1902 01:27:38 额...Um...
1903 01:27:40 他不能娶你了He doesn't think that he can marry you.
1904 01:27:43 他很抱歉 但他做不到But that he's sorry that he can't.
1905 01:27:51 她在大小 看来你已经脱离苦海了 伙计She's laughing, so I think that you're in the clear, bro.
1906 01:27:54 很不错 真的很不错No, it's good. That was good.
1907 01:27:56 那你回去告诉他You can just go back and tell him
1908 01:27:59 他不在家的这段时间我上了他表弟that I fucked his cousin Nick while he was gone.
1909 01:28:03 她看得很开的She's so super cool about it.
1910 01:28:05 她当时说的是 "继续吧 做你自己爱做的事"She's like, "Go! Do your thing. Do you."
1911 01:28:09 她是这么说的 ?She said that?
1912 01:28:10 嗯 我照搬过来的That's what she said, verbatim.
1913 01:28:12 等下 我该下来给她告别吗 ?Wait. Should I come down and say bye?
1914 01:28:14 不 不用了 !No. God! Fuck no!
1915 01:28:15 - 不用吗 ? - 对No? Yeah.
1916 01:28:17 根本用不着... 我们还是别...No need to even... Let's not even...
1917 01:28:18 我只是... 不用劳烦了You just... I've done it... We're great!
1918 01:28:21 等下 他去哪啊 ?Wait, where the fuck is he going?
1919 01:28:23 杰森 !Jason!
1920 01:28:24 杰森 !Jason!
1921 01:28:37 其实是那个开机车的男人用iPad弄的It's actually the guy on the moped with the iPad.
1922 01:28:41 国家安全局早就不用这种大面包车了NSA stopped using utility vans years ago.
1923 01:28:44 我想着既然你把摄影机寄回来了I figured once you sent the camera back,
1924 01:28:46 就得采取更厉害的措施了it was time to take drastic measures.
1925 01:28:48 他怎么说 ? 我们真要这么做吗 ?What'd he say? Are we doing this?
1926 01:28:50 后备计划 让帕姆绑架你Plan B, have Pam kidnap you.
1927 01:28:53 我得把她追回来I've got to get her back.
1928 01:28:54 你让我绑架她 ?You want me to kidnap her?
1929 01:28:56 我立马就把她装箱子里给你送回来 伙计I'll bring her back to you in a box, bro.
1930 01:28:58 她正坐在I85线的大巴上穿越弗罗里达She's on a bus headed west on I-85 across Florida.
1931 01:29:01 她的船在4小时后离港Her boat leaves in four hours.
1932 01:29:03 追踪她太简单了It was easy to track her down
1933 01:29:05 我可是在中东练过的because of the whole Middle Eastern thing.
1934 01:29:06 你肯定没想到为国作战Bet you never thought you'd 69 a girl
1935 01:29:08 还能帮你撩妹吧because of the Patriot Act.
1936 01:29:09 把她撩到手 老兄 !You 69 her, man!
1937 01:29:11 然后她就得死And then she's dead.
1938 01:29:13 你在逗我吗 帕姆 ? 你开这破车 ?Are you kidding me, Pam? This is what you drive?
1939 01:29:15 是啊 开着冰淇淋车卖大麻Oh, yeah, it is so easy selling kids drugs
1940 01:29:18 给小孩子最轻松了from an ice cream truck. It's crazy!
1941 01:29:19 杰森 !Jason!
1942 01:29:21 - 杰森 ! - 快开车 !Jason! Go, go, go, go!
1943 01:29:22 杰森 停车 ! 立刻停下Jason, stop! Stop right now.
1944 01:29:23 停车 !Stop! Stop!
1945 01:29:25 如果你现在离去If you leave right now,
1946 01:29:27 你就可以和事务所的工作告别了you can kiss your job at the firm goodbye!
1947 01:29:29 大卫 能麻烦你滚开吗 ?David, will you get the fuck out of the way!
1948 01:29:32 嘿 拜托 !Hey, hey! Come on!
1949 01:29:34 什么鬼啊 ?What the hell!
1950 01:29:36 伙计 除非你想买面包或者海洛因Hey, guy, unless you want a Chipwich or some heroin,
1951 01:29:38 那么就立刻滚下我的冰淇淋车 !get off my ice cream truck!
1952 01:29:40 这蠢货是谁啊 ?Who the fuck is this slob?
1953 01:29:41 蠢货 ? 我是小老板 !Slob? I am a small business owner!
1954 01:29:44 而我这样的人就是这个国家的中流砥柱 !I am the backbone of this country!
1955 01:29:45 而且我手上有电击器I am holding a taser!
1956 01:29:48 - 喔 我去 - 要我停手吗 ?Whoa! Shit! Dude, should I stop?
1957 01:29:50 - 你干嘛呢... - 我电得正爽呢What are you... I'm kind of in the middle of it right here.
1958 01:29:52 - 我去 - 好了Shit! All right.
1959 01:29:56 如果有人硬了请举手Raise your hand if you've got a boner!
1960 01:29:59 我们该怎么办 ?What were we supposed to do?
1961 01:30:01 把他丢路边 ?Just leave him on the side of the road?
1962 01:30:03 老兄 能开慢点吗 ?Hey, man, can you slow down?
1963 01:30:05 我笔都拿不稳了You're making this very difficult.
1964 01:30:07 什么鬼 ! 上星期在我脸上What the fuck! That was you who drew
1965 01:30:08 画丁丁的人就是你 ?all those dicks on me last week?
1966 01:30:10 - 没错啊 就是我画的 被你逮到了 - 老天啊Yeah, I drew the dicks. Busted! Oh, my God!
1967 01:30:12 该死 !Oh, shit!
1968 01:30:14 别担心 起身 我们抄近道Don't worry. Get up. We'll cut through the back roads.
1969 01:30:15 - 啥 ? - 你来导航 我来开车Wait, what? You navigate. I'll drive.
1970 01:30:22 小心 小心 喔 喔 !Watch out! Watch out! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1971 01:30:34 什么情况啊 ?What the hell is going on?
1972 01:30:37 喔 !Whoa!
1973 01:30:39 - 有人超速了 - 好吧 我们上 !Got ourselves a bogey. All right, let's do this!
1974 01:30:47 操 ! 我们得减轻点车身重量Fuck! We gotta lose some of this weight.
1975 01:30:49 帕姆 丢点东西出去Pam, throw some of this shit out of here!
1976 01:30:51 快看 是帕姆 他属于友好的希腊人Hey, look, it's Pam. He's the good kind of Greek.
1977 01:30:56 嗨 吉恩 嗨 加里Hey, Gene. Hey, Gary.
1978 01:31:01 你在哪学会这么开车的 老爸 ?How the hell do you know how to drive like that, Dad?
1979 01:31:04 该死 祖父 告诉他真相吧 !Damn it, Grandpa. Just tell him!
1980 01:31:05 额...Uh...
1981 01:31:07 我是一名特种部队的绿色贝雷帽I was a Green Beret in Special Forces.
1982 01:31:09 我深入敌后训练反叛分子I taught insurgents behind enemy lines.
1983 01:31:11 机修工只是我的掩护身份而已Mechanic was just my cover.
1984 01:31:13 很好 我们赶上了Good! We're all made up!
1985 01:31:16 她在哪 就是这辆车 加速 !There they are! That's them! Let's go, go, go!
1986 01:31:21 - 沙迪亚 ! - 杰森 ?Shadia! Jason?
1987 01:31:23 快停车 我得和你谈谈 !Stop the bus! I need to talk to you!
1988 01:31:26 你怎么在What are you doing here
1989 01:31:27 - 一辆冰淇淋车里 ? - 快停车 !in an ice cream truck? Stop the bus!
1990 01:31:28 - 好吧 ! - 靠边停 !Okay! Pull over!
1991 01:31:30 我才不要靠边停 !I'm not pulling over!
1992 01:31:33 真是多谢你了 帕姆 你个告密者 !Thanks a lot, Pam! You narc!
1993 01:31:35 啥 ! 我才没高密 巴利What! I'm not a narc, Barry!
1994 01:31:37 去你妹的 !Fuck you!
1995 01:31:39 帕姆 你认识他 ?Pam, you know him?
1996 01:31:40 是的 他是我铁哥们Barry? Yeah, he's, like, my best friend.
1997 01:31:42 我卖给了他一大堆迷幻药 噢...I sold him, like, six tons of ecstasy... Oh!
1998 01:31:45 原来这就是他不停车的原因That's why they're not stopping the bus.
1999 01:31:47 车上全是毒品It's full of drugs.
2000 01:31:49 真有我的作风Classic Pam.
2001 01:31:51 - 我认识他们 - 快停车 !I know that man. Stop the bus!
2002 01:31:52 杰森 你去哪呢 ?Jason, where are you going?
2003 01:31:54 你干嘛呢 ?What are you doing?
2004 01:31:57 他们在干嘛...What are they...
2005 01:32:10 你最好娶了她You'd better marry that girl.
2006 01:32:12 我 ? 她不是我喜欢的菜 太瘦了Me? Nah, she's not really my type. Too skinny.
2007 01:32:24 什么鬼 ?What the fuck?
2008 01:32:26 减速啊 ! 天啊 !Slow down! Oh, my God!
2009 01:32:28 你干嘛呢 ?What are you doing?
2010 01:32:30 喔 喔 喔 !Whoa, whoa, whoa!
2011 01:32:32 减速啊 !Slow down, dude!
2012 01:32:42 快上 快上 !Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
2013 01:32:43 去追她吧 !Go get her, man!
2014 01:32:46 到底什么情况啊 ?What is going on? What just happened?
2015 01:32:48 嗨 我其实也毫无头绪Hey. I don't even fucking know,
2016 01:32:50 但是我不结婚了but I'm not getting married.
2017 01:32:51 好吧 难道这样就抵消你之前对我撒谎了 ?Okay, so that makes it okay that you were lying to me?
2018 01:32:56 抵消不了No. No, it doesn't.
2019 01:32:58 但你得承认我俩在一起的时候But you have to admit when we were together
2020 01:32:59 感觉特美好it felt great.
2021 01:33:01 有种很真实的感受There was something real there.
2022 01:33:03 没错Yeah.
2023 01:33:07 你想我怎么样 杰森 ?What do you want from me, Jason?
2024 01:33:10 我要你留下I want you to stay.
2025 01:33:16 我不能留下I just can't stay.
2026 01:33:21 好吧Okay. Okay.
2027 01:33:23 我明白的No, I get it.
2028 01:33:26 嗯Yeah.
2029 01:33:34 那我跟你一起走呢 ?What if I come with you?
2030 01:33:37 跟我...Come...
2031 01:33:40 真的 ?Really? I mean...
2032 01:33:43 我和未婚妻分手了 丢了我的工作I just broke up with my fiancee, lost my job.
2033 01:33:47 而且我身上好像有通缉令 所以...And I think I'm wanted by the police, so...
2034 01:33:50 出海一年A year at sea
2035 01:33:54 或许最适合我现在的处境了might actually be the best place for me.
2036 01:33:58 好吧Okay.
2037 01:34:13 别亲了 女同们Break it up, lesbians! Let's go.
2038 01:34:15 趴到地上Get down on the ground!
2039 01:34:16 我们针对你就是因为你们是女同We're doing this because you're lesbians!
2040 01:34:17 趴到地上 !Get down on the ground!
2041 01:34:20 根据洲际法案第17章37条According to Interstate Statute 17.37,
2042 01:34:23 在洲际公路上想逮捕人arrests made on the Interstate Highway System
2043 01:34:26 必须有洲际警察来执行must be executed by state police,
2044 01:34:28 而不是你们这群本地警察not your local law enforcement
2045 01:34:29 你们这是越权办事from your adjacent municipalities.
2046 01:34:31 你好像挺熟悉You seem, like, really familiar
2047 01:34:33 法律行业的with the penal code.
2048 01:34:34 感觉你很清楚You seem real cocksure
2049 01:34:36 不用部门的辖区about the juris-dick-tion you're in.
2050 01:34:37 非常确信Real cocksure!
2051 01:34:39 有人在你脸上画了丁丁 白痴Someone drew dicks all over your face, you idiot!
2052 01:34:41 瞧瞧啊 你脸上全是丁丁Well, look at that! You got dicks on your face.
2053 01:34:43 中间那根是我比着画的That middle one's mine. Look it, this one right here.
2054 01:34:45 沿着周边素描的I traced it.
2055 01:34:46 我就说怎么这么眼熟嘛I thought I recognized that!
2056 01:34:48 先不叙旧了 放我朋友们走吧Enough catching up. Let my friends go.
2057 01:34:51 他们一点坏事都没做They've literally done nothing wrong.
2058 01:34:53 帕姆 这群人妨碍司法公正Pam, we've got obstruction of justice here.
2059 01:34:56 还有胡乱开车We got reckless endangerment.
2060 01:34:58 车上还有一车毒品呢 我懂你的意思The bus is full of drugs, I get it.
2061 01:35:00 噢 说到点上了 我得赶紧闪人了Ooh, speaking of which, I've got to get out of here.
2062 01:35:02 有一群瘾君子I got three keys of "Frisbees"
2063 01:35:03 今天要到我的店买东西 所以...showing up at the store today, so...
2064 01:35:04 我可以走了吗 ?I should go, question mark?
2065 01:35:06 开我们的警车吧Why don't you take my squad car.
2066 01:35:09 - 好主意 - 把钥匙给他That's a good idea. Give him your keys.
2067 01:35:10 你的意思是这串钥匙 ?You mean these keys?
2068 01:35:12 原来在你那啊There they are.
2069 01:35:15 - 不愧是帕姆 - 不愧是帕姆Classic Pam. Classic Pam.
2070 01:35:17 要不要弄点午餐吃 ?What do you say we get some lunch?
2071 01:35:18 很乐意Love it.
2072 01:35:21 待会再见了 蠢货们See you fucks later.
2073 01:35:24 额 我要和她一起走So, uh, I'm gonna go with her.
2074 01:35:30 嗯 你去吧Yeah, you should.
2075 01:35:32 她感觉是个好姑娘She seems real nice.
2076 01:35:35 这辆车好像是我们唯一的回家工具了You know, I think this is our only way back now,
2077 01:35:39 所以我准备去把脸上的丁丁洗掉so I'm gonna try to get these cocks off of my face
2078 01:35:43 然后把车发动好and get that truck started.
2079 01:35:47 - 稍等我下 - 好Just give me one sec. Yeah.
2080 01:35:58 祖父...Grandpa...
2081 01:36:00 谢谢你...Thank you for...
2082 01:36:01 少给我煽情Don't give me any of that shit.
2083 01:36:03 回来的时候告诉我声就行Just let me know when you get back.
2084 01:36:04 而且我很想看见你拍的照片被登上<<时代杂志>>And I actually want to see your photos in Time magazine.
2085 01:36:08 这个摄影机花了我3个月的退休金This camera set me back three months of my army pension.
2086 01:36:24 谢谢你 祖父Thanks, Grandpa.
2087 01:36:27 对了 杰森...Oh, and, Jason...
2088 01:36:30 嗯 ?Yeah?
2089 01:36:33 在80年代Back in the '80s,
2090 01:36:34 巨人安德烈when Andre the Giant
2091 01:36:36 经常会去花花公子宅邸used to go to the Playboy Mansion,
2092 01:36:39 他会叫5个妹子一起叠在床上he'd stack five playmates on top of each other on a bed
2093 01:36:42 然后他一次性给她们5人指交and fingerfuck them all. Five at a time.
2094 01:36:44 就因为他的手特别大Because his hands were so big.
2095 01:36:48 然后...So...
2096 01:36:51 没了That's it.
2097 01:36:57 谢谢 祖父Thanks, Grandpa.
2098 01:36:59 "De Oppresso Liber.""De Oppresso Liber."
2099 01:37:03 绿色贝雷帽的座右铭Motto of the Green Berets.
2100 01:37:07 意思是 "解救受压迫的人"It means "To liberate the oppressed."
2101 01:37:22 准备好没 ?Hey. You ready?
2102 01:37:23 好了Yep.
2103 01:37:32 我觉得他肯定找不到比我更好的人了I don't think he's gonna find anybody as good as me.
2104 01:37:36 真遗憾 但是你知道那句老话的...I'm sorry. But you know what they say...
2105 01:37:39 额...Um...
2106 01:37:41 "难熬的生活锻炼出来的是坚强的人""Tough times can sometimes lead to tougher people."
2107 01:37:46 - 嗯 - 库尔特·冯内古特说的Hmm. That's Kurt Vonnegut.
2108 01:37:56 好吧Yeah.
2109 01:38:07 我操啊 !Holy fuckin' shit!
2110 01:38:13 以前有没有人给你说过Has anyone ever told you
2111 01:38:14 你的阴道和英国牧羊犬的一样 ?that you have the pussy of English Sheepdog?
2112 01:38:27 多谢你载我回来Well, thanks for the ride.
2113 01:38:31 你不会有事吧 老爸 ?You gonna be okay, Dad?
2114 01:38:35 我很想她I miss her.
2115 01:38:38 但我不会有事的But I'll be okay.
2116 01:38:44 我是个不称职的父亲 对不起I was a shitty father and I'm sorry.
2117 01:38:48 慢慢磨炼吧Well, we'll work on it.
2118 01:39:07 你这人真是难找啊 教授You're a hard man to track down, Professor.
2119 01:39:12 你穿的是我的裤子 ?Are those my pants?
2120 01:39:14 没错 是你的Yeah, these are your pants.
2121 01:39:16 我在裤包里找到张维特的原声专辑I found a Werther's Original in the pocket
2122 01:39:18 我都听了一早上了and I've been sucking on it all morning.
2123 01:39:21 你明知我不是一名教授 对吧 ?You do know that I'm not a professor, right?
2124 01:39:23 我知道Yeah, I know.
2125 01:39:25 你只是个下流的祖父You're just a dirty, dirty grandpa,
2126 01:39:28 而我只是个来自长岛的女孩and I'm just a girl from Long Island City
2127 01:39:33 而我喜欢上老年人who likes to fuck old people.
2128 01:39:33 我喜欢你那张沙发I like your pull-out couch.
2129 01:39:36 是吗 那我给你说Yeah, well, I got news for you.
2130 01:39:39 今晚你就别想着能睡觉了That's the only thing that's gonna be pulling out tonight.
2131 01:39:41 我马上回来I'll be right back.
2132 01:39:59 嗨Oh, hey.
2133 01:40:02 听着 我很抱歉Look, I'm... I'm sorry.
2134 01:40:04 我不知道我能不能行I don't know if I can do this.
2135 01:40:06 我已经好久没上过床了I haven't done it for a long time.
2136 01:40:27 糟糕 裤子好像自己滑掉了Whoops! I guess they just slipped off.
2137 01:40:30 我希望你把我的Bra扯掉I want you to tear open my bra
2138 01:40:32 就像被警察搜身一样like it's a social security check.
2139 01:40:45 给我说 你摔倒了 起不来了Tell me you've fallen and you can't get up.
2140 01:40:47 "救命啊 我摔倒了 起不来了""Help, I've fallen and I can't get up."
2141 01:40:50 噢 不 !Oh, no!
2142 01:40:51 用手到处乱摸Now fumble around and pretend
2143 01:40:54 就像在找你的老花镜一样like you're trying to find your glasses.
2144 01:40:55 "我的眼镜呢 我看不见了""I'm trying to find my glasses. I can't see."
2145 01:40:59 "找到了 ! 我看得见了 !""I found them! I can see! I can see!"
2146 01:41:04 给我说已经4点了 你想吃晚饭了Tell me it's 4:00 and you want to eat dinner.
2147 01:41:06 "4点了 我想吃晚饭了"00 and I want to eat dinner."
2148 01:41:08 给我说你遥控上的按键太小Tell me the buttons on your remote control
2149 01:41:10 搞的你都切不到新闻了are so small that you can't find Fox News.
2150 01:41:12 "我遥控上的按键太小了""The buttons on my remote control"
2151 01:41:13 "我切不到新闻了 !""Are so small I can't find Fox News!"
2152 01:41:16 - 给我形容下按键有多小 ! - "特别小"Tell me how small they are! "They're real small!"
2153 01:41:18 给我说这附近的治安大不如前了 !Tell me how this neighborhood used to be safer!
2154 01:41:20 "这附近的治安大不如前了 !""This neighborhood used to be safer!"
2155 01:41:22 给我说美国在艾森豪威尔总统的领导下更好 !Tell me how things were better under Eisenhower!
2156 01:41:24 "美国在艾森豪威尔总统的领导下更好 !""Things were better under Eisenhower!"
2157 01:41:26 我们喜欢艾克 ! 我们喜欢艾克 !We like Ike! We like Ike!
2158 01:41:27 我们喜欢艾克 ! 我们喜欢艾克 !We like Ike! We like Ike!
2159 01:41:29 我们喜欢艾克 !We like Ike!
2160 01:41:30 我们喜欢艾克 !We like Ike!
2161 01:41:31 我们喜欢艾克 !We like Ike!
2162 01:41:33 我们喜欢艾克 !We like Ike!
2163 01:41:34 我们喜欢艾克 !We like Ike!
2164 01:41:38 你这是要射了还是要死了 ?Are you cumming or dying?
2165 01:41:40 不确定 可能都有吧 !I'm not sure! Maybe both!
2166 01:41:53 "...就算死亡""...for as by a man came death."
2167 01:41:59 "也能孕育出新生命""By a man has come also life."
2168 01:42:03 理查德·凯莉二世Richard Kelly II.
2169 01:42:06 恭喜你们成为孩子的教父母Congratulations on the baby's new godparents,
2170 01:42:10 - 杰森和沙迪亚 - 嗷 !- Jason and Shadia. - Aw!
2171 01:42:12 恭喜 !Congratulations!
2172 01:42:16 快回来妈妈怀里 洗礼完了Back to Mommy. All baptized.
2173 01:42:19 你真是充满惊喜啊 祖父Man, you just keep surprising me, Grandpa.
2174 01:42:22 72岁了还能当爸爸New dad at 72.
2175 01:42:24 这主意真绝了Great fucking idea.
2176 01:42:25 嘿 主意你的用词 !Hey, watch your potty mouth!
2177 01:42:27 - 我去 抱歉 - 对啊 今天没漱口吗Jesus, sorry... Yeah, clean up your language.
2178 01:42:29 尊重点你的新祖母And show some respect for your new grandmother!
2179 01:42:31 - 抱歉 亲爱的 - 没关系I'm sorry, honey. That's all right.
2180 01:42:33 宝贝 你就不能抽空来看看我们吗 ?And sweetie, would it kill you to visit us sometimes?
2181 01:42:35 我们好久没见你了We never see you.
2182 01:42:37 抱歉 奶奶Sorry, Nanna.
2183 01:42:39 你上次生日有没有收到我寄的卡片 ?Did you get that card I sent for your birthday?
2184 01:42:41 - 有啊 - 嗯哼Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
2185 01:42:42 收到了 12美刀的价格牌也撕Yeah, with the $12 check.
2186 01:42:44 特别暖心 谢谢你That was a very nice touch. Thank you.
2187 01:42:45 谢谢 没错Thank you. That's right.
2188 01:42:47 嘿 你又长胖了 ?Hey, what are you, gaining some weight?
2189 01:42:48 感觉你脸变大了点You look a little heavy in the face.
2190 01:42:50 - 你干嘛... - 这一脸的肉哪来的啊 ?No, what are you... Where'd this come from, huh?
2191 01:42:52 - 啥 ? - 这些肉哪来的 ?What? Where'd these guys come from?
2192 01:42:54 - 我们去开车吧 ? - 好You wanna go get the car? Okay. Yeah.
2193 01:42:55 好了 我去把车开过来All right, I'll pull around the minivan.
2194 01:42:57 去找爸爸吧Go to Daddy.
2195 01:42:59 来爸爸抱There we go, come to Daddy.
2196 01:43:01 就剩你和我了It's you and I.
2197 01:43:04 有点奇葩啊It's a little bit weird.
2198 01:43:06 她变成我祖母了She's my grandma.
2199 01:43:11 而你这小家伙是我叔叔And you're my uncle.
2200 01:43:14 - 快瞧瞧 - 我去 !Look at that. Holy shit!
2201 01:43:17 这是根好丁丁It's a good dick.
2202 01:43:18 老天啊 ! 快遮住Oh, my God! Put that away.
2203 01:43:19 - 和我们的丁丁一样 - 是的It's our dick. Yeah.
2204 01:43:21 我很庆幸不是和他一样的I'm just relieved it's not his dick.
2205 01:43:25 帮我拿下奶瓶 ?You want to get the bottle for me?
2206 01:43:27 - 好 - 你好啊小家伙Oh, yeah. Hey, how you doin' there?
2207 01:43:34 杰森 你最好检查下你的尿不湿Hey, Jason. You should check your diaper, bro.
2208 01:43:36 你刚好像拉屎了I think you just shit your pants.
2209 01:43:37 而且还是在教堂里 在上帝面前And in church, too, in front of God.
2210 01:43:41 我真不知道你是来干嘛的I don't get why you're here.
2211 01:43:43 噢 有人拉裤子里了Oh! Someone made a doodie in their yum-yum.
2212 01:43:48 我就直说吧I'm just gonna put this out there once.
2213 01:43:50 我知道你宝宝才刚受了洗礼I know your baby just got baptized,
2214 01:43:52 但是我在坦帕市有个朋友 愿意最高支付6万元but I've got a guy in Tampa who will pay upwards of 60 grand
2215 01:43:55 来买一个会战斗的 健康的白人男性婴儿for a healthy, white, male baby that can fight.
2216 01:43:59 这是庄好交易 接了吧This is a good deal. You should take it.
2217 01:44:01 我不怎么认识这人I don't know this guy that well,
2218 01:44:02 但是总感觉他特别面善but he seems extremely trustworthy.
2219 01:44:04 是啊Oh, yeah, yeah.
2220 01:44:05 - 感兴趣吗 ? - 不愧是帕姆You interested? Classic Pam.
2221 01:44:07 不愧是帕姆Classic Pam.
2222 01:44:09 - 敲敲 - 是谁啊 ?Knock, knock. Who's there?
2223 01:44:11 经典帕姆Classic Pam.
2224 01:44:15 看来重新开始永远不嫌晚对吧 ?Guess it's never too late to start over, huh?
2225 01:44:18 嗯 很高兴能有第二次机会Yeah. Nice to have a second chance.
2226 01:44:21 或许这次我能Maybe it won't take me so
2227 01:44:22 当个好父亲了long to get the father thing right this time.
2228 01:44:27 对吧 ?Right?
2229 01:44:28 我去帮他把座位弄好I'll go get his car seat.
2230 01:44:37 千年杀 !Jamba!