亿万富翁 Kajillionaire(2020)(EN)Subtitles
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1 00:01:32 - Five seconds. - After this person.
2 00:01:42 - And clear. - Not clear.
3 00:01:49 - Go. - No.
4 00:01:55 Now.
5 00:02:44 This could be cash.
6 00:02:46 No. Money order.
7 00:02:50 Twenty.
8 00:02:51 Oh, I think they sell these at...
9 00:02:53 I have a receipt that'll work for this.
10 00:03:02 Hmm. Toys and games. 12.99, Target.
11 00:03:04 Easy return.
12 00:03:04 So, this is, this is not a cheap tie.
13 00:03:11 Well, you can't see it, because you're not of gentle birth.
14 00:03:22 It's empty!
15 00:04:01 Althea and Victor Young.
16 00:04:04 4305 Fairglen Road, Ladera Heights.
17 00:04:08 Oh. We could take the 2.
18 00:04:11 It goes there from here.
19 00:04:14 We got time.
20 00:04:17 Um, do the Catholic schoolgirl costume.
21 00:04:21 'Cause you've got some heartstrings to pull.
22 00:04:23 And remember, don't ask for a reward.
23 00:04:25 Just let them come to you.
24 00:04:27 - You got the watch, right? - Yeah.
25 00:04:36 Wow. Look at this.
26 00:04:38 It was just right there. I almost stepped on it.
27 00:04:41 All this time, it was just right there.
28 00:04:44 Yeah.
29 00:04:45 Do you go to Sacred Heart?
30 00:04:48 Our daughter Jenny went to Sacred Heart.
31 00:04:50 Here, let's have you in for a Coke.
32 00:04:51 I've always believed in angels.
33 00:04:53 Not me. That's her thing.
34 00:05:01 What's this?
35 00:05:03 It's a gift certificate.
36 00:05:04 Their daughter's a masseuse.
37 00:05:08 "Don't ask for a reward" was plan A.
38 00:05:11 Plan B was "ask for a reward."
39 00:05:14 Rich people can be very cheap sometimes.
40 00:05:15 They were talking about her nonstop.
41 00:05:18 She works at Mélisse, she went to college...
42 00:05:20 Mélisse?
43 00:05:21 They were obsessed. It was creepy.
44 00:05:24 That's the most expensive restaurant in L.A.
45 00:05:26 - She just works there. - Well, uh, even to work there,
46 00:05:28 you have to be rich.
47 00:05:29 - Oh. I mean, I... - Wait a minute. Wait.
48 00:05:32 4305 1/2 Fairglen Road.
49 00:05:35 4... 4503 1/2 Fairglen...
50 00:05:37 You-you were just... Well, you were just there.
51 00:05:39 But th-this is, this is the house right behind it.
52 00:05:42 - This is worth money. - Yeah. Yeah.
53 00:05:44 - See, dollar signs. - Yeah.
54 00:05:46 This-this...
55 00:05:49 This type of high-end, uh... you know.
56 00:05:52 - It's good. Yeah. - It's worth $200 or $300.
57 00:05:54 Yeah.
58 00:05:56 Okay, um...
59 00:05:58 Wait.
60 00:06:00 Cash refund.
61 00:06:05 Okay. What about a percentage
62 00:06:07 of the total value?
63 00:06:08 Like 75% of the total value.
64 00:06:10 No. No, that's not how...
65 00:06:12 I'm sorry.
66 00:06:13 How do you, how do you know my parents?
67 00:06:15 Or what about an exchange, um, for that rock?
68 00:06:21 - No. - No? Okay.
69 00:06:22 Mm-mm. What about these?
70 00:06:24 No? Understood.
71 00:06:26 This. This, uh, this shelf.
72 00:06:28 And that's gonna be my final, because it's just...
73 00:06:32 it's not worth very much and I'm gonna be
74 00:06:34 taking a loss on-on...
75 00:06:39 ...on the massage.
76 00:06:46 I'll take that.
77 00:06:53 Well, you don't want a massage, right?
78 00:06:59 How long does this usually take?
79 00:07:01 Uh, your gift certificate is for 60 minutes, so...
80 00:07:05 Oh. N-no.
81 00:07:06 I-I don't need, um... could...
82 00:07:08 Do you think we could do it in 20?
83 00:07:11 Okay.
84 00:07:47 So just tell me if it's too much pressure.
85 00:07:49 It's too much pressure.
86 00:07:54 - Is this better? - Too much.
87 00:08:02 How about this?
88 00:08:24 Is that better?
89 00:08:29 Yeah.
90 00:08:59 Hi. We're with her.
91 00:09:01 It was taking a while, so...
92 00:09:03 No refund?
93 00:09:05 No. I don't refund gifts, but we're almost done.
94 00:09:08 She only wanted 20 minutes.
95 00:09:11 Okay, can we have that rock for the other 40 minutes?
96 00:09:15 We won the Vitafusion giveaway
97 00:09:16 under six different names today.
98 00:09:19 Oh. And the Motor Trend Dodge Viper GT Sweepstakes.
99 00:09:26 - That's a free visor. - The little ones are popping!
100 00:09:28 Pop, pop, pop!
101 00:09:30 They're all popping!
102 00:09:32 Just st-stop. Hey. Okay?
103 00:09:34 Who's in charge of the, um...
104 00:09:36 A sport water bottle, BPA-free, with a carabiner.
105 00:09:40 Huh. I don't think we've won that before.
106 00:09:46 Not bad for a Wednesday.
107 00:09:48 Hey, yo!
108 00:09:53 Hey. Hey!
109 00:10:24 Hey, you guys?
110 00:10:25 I h...
111 00:10:26 - I have a job. - Shut the fuck up.
112 00:10:28 Keep walking, keep walking. Ah.
113 00:10:29 - Fuck. - February?
114 00:10:30 March? April?
115 00:10:32 Come on, man, this tank's empty.
116 00:10:33 Uh, we may have to pay in installments.
117 00:10:36 - In install... No. - Yeah.
118 00:10:38 No! No install... I mean, rent is an installment.
119 00:10:42 It's a monthly installment.
120 00:10:44 We'll have it in the morning. All...
121 00:10:46 February, March, April, all 1,500.
122 00:10:47 Just, uh... yeah, we were just,
123 00:10:49 we were just talking about a job right now.
124 00:10:51 - We were, just now. - Yeah.
125 00:10:52 - You only pay 500 a month? - But it leaks.
126 00:10:55 It's very manageable. Very manageable.
127 00:10:57 It's... it leaks on-on a schedule.
128 00:11:00 Y-You're patting down the wall afterwards, right?
129 00:11:01 - Oh, yeah. - That's good.
130 00:11:03 The dampness becomes rot,
131 00:11:04 and then the whole building collapses.
132 00:11:06 Hey, fire up that compressor, will you?
133 00:11:09 Very expensive.
134 00:11:11 Are you okay?
135 00:11:13 It's my condition.
136 00:11:14 - He's got a... - I mean, I-I have no filters.
137 00:11:17 It's no big deal.
138 00:11:18 Ignore it.
139 00:11:21 See you in the morning.
140 00:11:22 Okay, we'll see you.
141 00:11:26 The other side!
142 00:11:28 Uh, I-I'm supposed to take this class.
143 00:11:30 It's a required thing by my caseworker,
144 00:11:32 but I'm kind of in the midst of something,
145 00:11:34 so if she could just go, there's...
146 00:11:36 there's a sign-up sheet.
147 00:11:37 Come on. I-I know you guys do this stuff.
148 00:11:39 Tell them about the money!
149 00:11:41 I can pay $20.
150 00:11:49 You heard?
151 00:11:51 Yeah, well, what about the...
152 00:11:52 Yeah, so hurry up so we can go.
153 00:11:55 Thanks.
154 00:12:00 - I like your... - Yeah.
155 00:12:04 What's your name?
156 00:12:06 Kelli.
157 00:12:08 What's your name?
158 00:12:10 It's for the sign-up sheet.
159 00:12:12 Oh.
160 00:12:13 It's Kelli Fain.
161 00:12:14 Kelli with an "I," F-A-I-N.
162 00:12:17 You don't even have to go in.
163 00:12:18 Just get the yellow slip and come right back.
164 00:12:23 Oh, Fain.
165 00:12:26 I need a yellow slip.
166 00:12:28 Okay. Dorinda can give you that.
167 00:12:31 Uh, she's inside.
168 00:12:56 We're starting a little late.
169 00:12:58 Maybe the time change threw some people off.
170 00:12:59 - L-Let's take a seat, please. - But it's only twice.
171 00:13:01 - Well, here's your slip. Okay. - Thanks, Dorinda.
172 00:13:02 Have a seat.
173 00:13:04 Let's get started.
174 00:13:08 If you need a caseworker receipt from Dorinda,
175 00:13:10 you can get it later at the break.
176 00:13:14 Okay.
177 00:13:15 There are worksheets coming from both directions.
178 00:13:18 Uh, take one and pass it down.
179 00:13:20 - Could you pass it? - The blue one is
180 00:13:22 the nutrition cheat sheet that I mentioned to you yesterday.
181 00:13:25 Please take a look at the pink sheet,
182 00:13:28 the one that says "The Breast Crawl" on top.
183 00:13:30 Will you start the tape, please?
184 00:13:32 Thank you.
185 00:13:33 Okay, this is great.
186 00:13:34 This is the mother-baby bond at work.
187 00:13:37 If the newborn is immediately placed
188 00:13:40 on the mother's abdomen,
189 00:13:41 he makes his way all the way to the breast all by himself.
190 00:13:46 Now, if a baby's placed on a cot,
191 00:13:49 the infant mortality goes up.
192 00:13:51 The bonding goes down.
193 00:13:53 The lactation goes down.
194 00:13:55 All that important stuff that we talked about yesterday.
195 00:13:58 You remember?
196 00:13:59 Baby's mouth opens as he approaches the nipple.
197 00:14:04 And the bonding begins.
198 00:14:19 Shit, girl, what'd you do, enroll?
199 00:14:22 What did I miss?
200 00:14:24 Uh, the... breast crawl and...
201 00:14:27 Oh, yeah. I'm gonna do that.
202 00:14:29 That's cool, huh?
203 00:14:32 No, you don't want to baby it like that.
204 00:14:35 It'll-it'll get all...
205 00:14:59 Thank you for waiting.
206 00:15:01 Someone will be with you shortly.
207 00:15:20 What are you doing?
208 00:15:24 Sorry, uh...
209 00:15:26 I just...
210 00:15:28 We won something big, but we can't use it.
211 00:15:31 Uh, it's the Ooh La Luxe getaway.
212 00:15:33 It's a first-class trip for two to the Big Apple,
213 00:15:35 and it's redeemable for three nonrefundable coach tickets.
214 00:15:38 - You'll never fly. - I know.
215 00:15:40 So, maybe we...
216 00:15:44 What is that?
217 00:15:49 Guy at the class gave me them.
218 00:15:53 Do... Do you want one?
219 00:15:58 When a man gives you wood,
220 00:16:01 anything made out of wood,
221 00:16:04 he's saying, "You give me wood."
222 00:16:20 I've been to New York.
223 00:16:22 You and I could go together, just the two of us.
224 00:16:28 Like a...
225 00:16:30 mother-daughter getaway.
226 00:17:03 Oh, hey, Stovik.
227 00:17:05 There you are.
228 00:17:07 That's a great jacket.
229 00:17:09 You pat it down?
230 00:17:10 Yeah.
231 00:17:13 Oh, Theresa, I... Oh.
232 00:17:16 Uh, the rest is coming.
233 00:17:18 Uh, we're just on our way. We have to, uh...
234 00:17:20 - What is this? - Ah, that's a money order.
235 00:17:22 Same as money. $20.
236 00:17:24 We have to check our mail, and, uh...
237 00:17:26 Well... Oh, that.
238 00:17:28 Now, see, that... I think that's worth 50...
239 00:17:31 Not this time.
240 00:17:33 Wha...?
241 00:17:34 I can't do this anymore.
242 00:17:39 Are you crying?
243 00:17:47 I'm patching the leak.
244 00:17:49 I'm evicting you.
245 00:17:51 I can get $10,000 for this space, you understand?
246 00:17:54 $10,000.
247 00:17:55 We have a child.
248 00:17:58 That wall is a sponge. It's a sponge.
249 00:18:00 This building ought to be condemned, really.
250 00:18:02 We could, we could report it
251 00:18:04 to the Department of Health and Human Services!
252 00:18:07 What?
253 00:18:09 Okay, okay.
254 00:18:10 Just-just, just give us till Friday.
255 00:18:12 You'll have 1,500 in cash bills.
256 00:18:15 We'll have it by Friday.
257 00:18:16 Dude, we need a little time to get it together.
258 00:18:20 Friday tomorrow?
259 00:18:21 It's tomorrow?
260 00:18:23 Um, well, I didn't literally mean...
261 00:18:25 I mean, that's just a saying,
262 00:18:26 you know, "by Friday."
263 00:18:27 - It just means end of the week. - Next Friday.
264 00:18:30 Uh, uh, the-the one after that.
265 00:18:31 - Friday after next. - Yeah.
266 00:18:35 Two weeks.
267 00:18:37 Two weeks.
268 00:19:12 Shit! We don't have time to be horsing around.
269 00:19:15 That was our best thing.
270 00:19:16 It's a new camera. I didn't know.
271 00:19:19 This is really bad.
272 00:19:21 Mm-hmm. Once your face is in their system,
273 00:19:23 - they got you... fines, for 1K, home equity. - Yeah. Mm-hmm.
274 00:19:26 But maybe you want all that. I don't know.
275 00:19:28 Me? I prefer to just skim.
276 00:19:30 - So do I. - Do you?
277 00:19:32 Ah, that's interesting.
278 00:19:33 Because most people want to be kajillionaires.
279 00:19:35 That's the dream. That's how they get you hooked.
280 00:19:37 Hooked on sugar, hooked on caffeine.
281 00:19:39 Ha-ha-ha. Cry-cry-cry.
282 00:19:42 Mother-daughter getaway.
283 00:19:45 How the fuck does that help us get the rent?
284 00:19:48 God. Come on! Think!
285 00:19:57 Okay, so...
286 00:20:00 We all fly to New York together on Wednesday,
287 00:20:04 and then we fly right back as strangers.
288 00:20:07 So, at the baggage carousel, we don't know each other.
289 00:20:15 Don't-don't look at me.
290 00:20:17 Okay, I'm looking around.
291 00:20:20 I want to make sure these are our bags.
292 00:20:23 Excuse me, sir.
293 00:20:25 Is this the luggage for the flight from New York?
294 00:20:27 You two know each other.
295 00:20:28 - We're a couple? - Yeah.
296 00:20:31 Oh. I see.
297 00:20:33 I am the dum-dum now.
298 00:20:35 I have a bachelor's degree.
299 00:20:37 She doesn't even know what that is.
300 00:20:38 Then you accidentally take my bags and go home.
301 00:20:44 I'll stay at the airport and report my loss.
302 00:20:46 Luckily, I have traveler's insurance,
303 00:20:49 so they'll issue us a check for, uh, um...
304 00:20:54 ...$1,575, which we can just sign right over to Stovik
305 00:20:58 the next day and be, uh, more than a full week early.
306 00:21:28 Ladies and gentlemen, uh,
307 00:21:30 we're experiencing some choppy air here.
308 00:21:32 Please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts.
309 00:21:35 We'll be going up to 37,000 feet for a smoother ride.
310 00:21:38 Okay, come on. Come on.
311 00:21:39 Okay.
312 00:21:44 Just breathe normally. Just breathe normally.
313 00:21:48 All right, talk. Let's talk. Okay? Talk.
314 00:21:51 Let's say something. Just say something.
315 00:21:55 Don't pray. God, are you praying?
316 00:21:57 Just talk. Talk.
317 00:21:58 Okay.
318 00:21:59 How are you? Um...
319 00:22:03 How are you? What are your interests?
320 00:22:05 - My interests? - Your interests. Your interests. Your interests!
321 00:22:07 - Your interests! Go. Go. - I-I don't know. I don't...
322 00:22:08 - What do you want me to... - I don't know.
323 00:22:09 Just say anything. Uh...
324 00:22:11 Some people think that a brand-new baby,
325 00:22:12 if you, if you, if you put it on the abdomen,
326 00:22:15 it'll just automatically crawl up to the mom's breast.
327 00:22:17 But if you put it on a cot, then it'll,
328 00:22:19 I guess, cry more.
329 00:22:20 But a breast crawl baby...
330 00:22:22 Don't say "breast."
331 00:22:24 I just wonder how-how a baby would know
332 00:22:26 - how, where... - Shh. Stop.
333 00:22:31 It's smooth now.
334 00:22:36 What was the point of all that?
335 00:22:40 He told me to talk.
336 00:22:44 Are you pregnant?
337 00:22:49 Did I crawl up, or was I put on a cot?
338 00:22:53 Answer.
339 00:22:58 No.
340 00:23:00 How would that have even happened?
341 00:23:07 A cot.
342 00:23:08 Is she pregnant?
343 00:23:22 No.
344 00:24:27 Uh, my mom lives in New Jersey.
345 00:24:28 We're not that close. I mean, we... like,
346 00:24:30 hardly ever talk now that I live in L.A.
347 00:24:32 Uh, I've been here almost a year,
348 00:24:35 and, ugh, it's so hard to meet people.
349 00:24:37 Do you guys find that? Okay. What else?
350 00:24:41 I live in Highland Park, above Thrive.
351 00:24:43 So, is this the kind of thing that you...
352 00:24:45 Yeah, just keep talking.
353 00:24:46 Anything. Anything. Uh, just anything. Um...
354 00:24:47 - Okay, um... - Anything. Go. Go. Go.
355 00:24:49 I am a, uh, physician's assistant
356 00:24:51 in ophthalmology at Cedars-Sinai.
357 00:24:54 Is this the normal amount of turbulence for this route?
358 00:24:57 Yes.
359 00:24:58 - Really? - Totally.
360 00:24:59 - It's... - Oh, no!
361 00:25:01 What?
362 00:25:05 I thought that I forgot my headphones.
363 00:25:07 Did they say that there was Wi-Fi on this plane?
364 00:25:11 I don't remember.
365 00:25:12 Oh, there is. Oh, you got to pay.
366 00:25:14 - Why do they do that? - You're better off.
367 00:25:16 Oh, this? Oh, I know.
368 00:25:18 Trust me, I'm the worst. I, like, sleep with it.
369 00:25:20 It's like my third arm.
370 00:25:21 It's a tool.
371 00:25:23 It was originally designed by and for the military
372 00:25:25 and the intelligence community.
373 00:25:27 The CIA and Army ground ops, specifically.
374 00:25:30 It is powerful and it's a dangerous tool.
375 00:25:32 You don't have a cell phone?
376 00:25:34 I use it as it was intended.
377 00:25:36 And I don't dress it up
378 00:25:37 and play dolly with it.
379 00:25:38 Well, then don't meet my mom. She is... whew!
380 00:25:41 She is always on her phone.
381 00:25:43 I'm talking about, like, always on her phone.
382 00:25:45 - Oh! Yes! - Here you are.
383 00:25:47 - Screwdriver for her. - I don't want it. I...
384 00:25:50 ♪ Gin and tonic, gin and tonic. ♪
385 00:25:53 Here, open up that bad boy. Okay.
386 00:25:55 - Thank you. - You're welcome.
387 00:25:56 Trust me, this will help a lot. Salud.
388 00:25:59 Um, my only concern is that we won't be
389 00:26:01 thinking clearly enough in the event of a real emergency.
390 00:26:05 - It's possible. - Oh, are you...?
391 00:26:08 My aunt has a friend who's Amish.
392 00:26:08 阿曼派 从基督教新教门诺派分裂而出的保守派别
393 00:26:10 No, we're not Amish.
394 00:26:11 We use alcohol. Oh.
395 00:26:13 When we're injured, to numb the pain.
396 00:26:16 Okay, that sounds Amish.
397 00:26:18 Look, I know there's a lot of discrimination.
398 00:26:19 My friend used to go to a Quaker school.
399 00:26:21 And let me...
400 00:26:27 That's super random. Uh...
401 00:26:29 Uh, oh. Okay!
402 00:26:31 All right! Chug, chug.
403 00:26:32 Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.
404 00:26:35 Look at this party started.
405 00:26:47 You never lived in Providence?
406 00:26:49 I never did.
407 00:26:51 It's so weird.
408 00:26:52 There's a girl there who looks just...
409 00:26:53 He's staring at your... blouse.
410 00:26:56 Oh, I know. I can handle it.
411 00:27:01 Okay. All right, everybody.
412 00:27:03 Check your pockets.
413 00:27:05 - It may be a bait and switch. - A what?
414 00:27:07 A distraction.
415 00:27:09 He might be a pickpocket.
416 00:27:10 - You mean a thief? - Yeah.
417 00:27:12 That-that is, that is not what just happened.
418 00:27:14 You don't know about these things.
419 00:27:18 I don't... No.
420 00:27:18 This happens to me, like, every day.
421 00:27:20 What?
422 00:27:26 So... what is it that you guys do?
423 00:27:32 Oh, come on. You know everything about me, right?
424 00:27:35 You know where I live and what my grandma's name is.
425 00:27:37 So, like, what are, what are you,
426 00:27:38 what are you guys, like... professors?
427 00:27:40 Yep.
428 00:27:42 Yeah? Well, that was a really great guess.
429 00:27:44 No.
430 00:27:45 No, you're not.
431 00:27:49 You're, like, um...
432 00:27:55 Would you consider yourself a trustworthy person?
433 00:27:57 - Is that one of your qualities? - You don't have to answer that.
434 00:27:59 Yes.
435 00:28:04 We have something very big happening at the airport.
436 00:28:06 Oh, my God, I knew you guys were up to something.
437 00:28:09 All right, there's two of us and there's three bags.
438 00:28:11 Do you see where I'm going with this?
439 00:28:12 Not at all.
440 00:28:27 You took it? Really? Put it back.
441 00:28:29 Oh, yeah.
442 00:28:30 I-I-I feel it. I...
443 00:28:32 - Do you? - I felt it. I-I...
444 00:28:35 Okay.
445 00:28:37 That old bag.
446 00:28:38 Here we go. Yep.
447 00:28:44 Thank you.
448 00:28:49 All right.
449 00:28:50 Is that the last one?
450 00:28:52 - She has a lot of... - Well, too many shoes.
451 00:28:54 Oh. You got everything?
452 00:28:55 Okay.
453 00:28:58 Off we go.
454 00:29:08 All right, so if they are lost, and I'm not saying they are,
455 00:29:11 but if they are, your traveler's insurance
456 00:29:13 covers you for up to $1,575.
457 00:29:17 You get that as soon as the loss is verified.
458 00:29:21 H-How long does that usually take?
459 00:29:23 Oh, they're pretty quick.
460 00:29:24 Six weeks at the longest.
461 00:29:30 A-And the shortest?
462 00:29:32 Oh, that really varies.
463 00:29:34 But don't worry.
464 00:29:36 It's really rare that we completely lose a bag.
465 00:29:39 I'm sure they'll turn up.
466 00:30:02 Yeah, it's a pretty good deal here.
467 00:30:04 Oh, she's here.
468 00:30:06 Don't worry, I got this.
469 00:30:12 Ma'am, I'll show you right to your seat.
470 00:30:13 Just go with it.
471 00:30:15 How much did you get for the bags?
472 00:30:16 These guys at my college used to do the same scam
473 00:30:19 with their luggage at Christmas vacation.
474 00:30:20 - I think you can get more... - It's-it's,
475 00:30:21 it's an original con.
476 00:30:23 - I invented it. - Oh, okay.
477 00:30:25 What?
478 00:30:27 I don't know if the check will be here by Friday.
479 00:30:31 What?
480 00:30:32 It might, but...
481 00:30:34 it might take six weeks.
482 00:30:40 In six weeks?
483 00:30:41 That's too late.
484 00:30:43 We just flew... I just risked my life for...
485 00:30:47 Sorry.
486 00:30:48 In six weeks?
487 00:30:50 Who knows?
488 00:30:51 It could come sooner. It varies.
489 00:30:54 Right.
490 00:30:56 What could come sooner? The check?
491 00:31:01 Who even is she?
492 00:31:05 How is this person an asset?
493 00:31:07 I don't... I don't understand.
494 00:31:14 Maybe I'll go to the restroom.
495 00:31:16 It's broken. Huh?
496 00:31:18 You have to use the one outside by the gas station.
497 00:31:21 Right.
498 00:32:09 - Yes? - There you are, hon.
499 00:32:11 I've been calling nonstop.
500 00:32:13 Sorry, I had it on airplane mode.
501 00:32:15 Oh, so... Okay. So you landed.
502 00:32:16 You're home. Good.
503 00:32:18 I'm watching that antique show. Do you have it on?
504 00:32:20 Uh, yeah. You can... Why don't you go to sleep
505 00:32:21 and we can just talk tomorrow or some...
506 00:32:23 Are you in bed, all cozy?
507 00:32:25 Put that wool pillow under your knees.
508 00:32:27 I'm using mine. It's so nice.
509 00:32:29 You have something nice and crunchy to eat?
510 00:32:31 I can't see your face very well.
511 00:32:34 - It's so dark. - The light's broken.
512 00:32:36 Oh. Mm. All right.
513 00:32:39 I'm ordering you a stick-on light,
514 00:32:40 like the one in your old room.
515 00:32:43 Okay, I know.
516 00:32:44 Just which one?
517 00:32:45 What time is it there?
518 00:32:47 Our schedules are so out of sync.
519 00:32:49 I know you'll feel better when we're aligned back,
520 00:32:51 but that's impossible now.
521 00:32:52 - Yeah, and I... - Okay, so it'll come Tues...
522 00:32:55 No. Yes. Tuesday. Uh-huh.
523 00:32:58 Did you get the case of iced tea? Mm.
524 00:33:00 I saw something this morning that made me think of you.
525 00:33:02 This is gonna make you so happy.
526 00:33:05 Type in "Vemo infusion pitcher."
527 00:33:08 Look on the bottom picture, and then zoom in, zoom in,
528 00:33:12 zoom back to... Oh!
529 00:33:15 This guy's old rocking chair... it's worth a half a million.
530 00:33:19 I had no idea. No.
531 00:33:20 He's so surprised. He had no...
532 00:33:25 I have a heist we can do, to get the 1,500.
533 00:33:30 Okay, I'm just gonna start, I'm gonna start talking. Okay.
534 00:33:34 So, I'm, um... I'm not a physician's assistant.
535 00:33:37 That was, um... I don't even know why I said that. Anyway...
536 00:33:40 I work at Abram's Optics in the Galleria,
537 00:33:42 which, if you don't know, is the worst branch there is.
538 00:33:44 Honestly, I'm wasting my life there.
539 00:33:45 I just sell bifocals to agro old people all day.
540 00:33:49 Mean but, like, also super lonely and desperate, you know?
541 00:33:52 Like, I've been invited to Easters and to Mahjong
542 00:33:55 and to look at scrapbooks and...
543 00:33:56 You know, I don't go because it's gross, but if I did,
544 00:33:58 I bet you that I would find mad antiques.
545 00:34:03 Huh. Yeah.
546 00:34:04 I mean, not super fancy ones,
547 00:34:06 but I have a feeling that if I said I liked something,
548 00:34:09 they would give it to me for free or cheap,
549 00:34:11 and then we can sell it and turn a tidy profit.
550 00:34:18 Who do we sell the antiques to?
551 00:34:21 We can...
552 00:34:23 we can get a stall at the flea market.
553 00:34:26 I love the flea market. It is so indie.
554 00:34:28 That is a great idea.
555 00:34:31 It's just tremendous.
556 00:34:33 Right?
557 00:34:35 Three-way split.
558 00:34:36 Oh, yeah, sure. Of course.
559 00:34:38 No problem.
560 00:34:40 It's like an internship.
561 00:34:43 I'm Melanie.
562 00:34:44 All right, okay.
563 00:34:45 Uh, Melanie, meet Old Dolio.
564 00:34:47 Old... what?
565 00:34:49 Dolio.
566 00:34:51 Old Dolio.
567 00:34:52 Okay.
568 00:34:53 I like that. I like that.
569 00:34:55 See, this is exactly the kind of thing
570 00:34:57 that I've been wanting...
571 00:34:59 Don't touch! Ah!
572 00:35:01 Don't touch the table.
573 00:35:03 I've been through tremors a lot smaller than this.
574 00:35:04 It just turns everything , like zap.
575 00:35:08 'Cause this is the way the big one starts.
576 00:35:10 With the noise, it just keeps
577 00:35:11 building and building and building.
578 00:35:13 But this one's not building.
579 00:35:15 The big one will be loud.
580 00:35:17 I mean, if you're lucky, you'll get crushed.
581 00:35:19 And then you'll... you just die right then and there.
582 00:35:22 Immediately.
583 00:35:24 A never-ending void.
584 00:35:26 So, yolo.
585 00:35:28 Am I right?
586 00:35:31 They are real characters, super unique.
587 00:35:34 But you vouch for them, right?
588 00:35:35 Vouch?
589 00:35:37 I just mean on, like, a level of basic safety.
590 00:35:38 I had a friend who did stripping,
591 00:35:40 and I would never do that,
592 00:35:41 but this feels like a little more...
593 00:35:43 Okay. You know, if I'm being honest,
594 00:35:44 my favorite movies are the Ocean Eleven movies.
595 00:35:46 And I just am pretty psyched
596 00:35:48 about being on, like, an actual heist.
597 00:35:53 How did you meet them?
598 00:35:55 They're my parents.
599 00:36:12 That's an interesting blouse.
600 00:36:14 Thank you.
601 00:36:15 You know, it was actually a-a dress.
602 00:36:17 And then I just...
603 00:36:21 I like your tr-tracksuit.
604 00:36:21 Not that drawer. Try the other drawer.
605 00:36:36 Sue! You look so great!
606 00:36:39 Here we are.
607 00:36:40 This is m-my family.
608 00:36:46 I love these, Sue.
609 00:36:49 Aren't they great?
610 00:36:50 My husband gave them to me.
611 00:36:52 He got them in England.
612 00:36:54 My ancestors were British on both sides.
613 00:36:57 I think the people are more civilized there.
614 00:36:59 - 4:00 tea and all that. - This is great.
615 00:37:02 Sue.
616 00:37:03 I love this dog.
617 00:37:12 Blimey!
618 00:37:13 I've made a wretched mess, I'm afraid.
619 00:37:15 Oh, that's all right, Mum.
620 00:37:18 No bother, really.
621 00:37:19 I-I didn't realize at first that you were...
622 00:37:24 But you're not British.
623 00:37:26 No.
624 00:37:27 No. You're too dark.
625 00:37:29 There are dark people everywhere.
626 00:37:31 I know.
627 00:37:32 I just meant what you think of when you imagine a...
628 00:37:37 She's adopted. Yeah.
629 00:37:39 We always say
630 00:37:40 we were given one and we chose one.
631 00:37:43 That's just how I feel about my Doodlebug.
632 00:37:47 Come here, baby. Yeah.
633 00:37:48 Doodlebug. That's a beautiful name.
634 00:37:51 - Is that... - It's French.
635 00:37:58 650? We need 1,500.
636 00:38:00 We don't want to push it.
637 00:38:02 Deposits over 700 trigger a bank review,
638 00:38:05 so we'll do this a few more times.
639 00:38:07 Well, two more by Friday.
640 00:38:09 What?
641 00:38:10 No.
642 00:38:11 No, this is... If we get caught,
643 00:38:13 it-it'll be much worse for me because I'm Puerto Rican.
644 00:38:20 Isn't that amazing?
645 00:38:21 Old Dolio learned to forge before she learned to write.
646 00:38:25 Well, actually, that's how she did learn to write.
647 00:38:27 What about my plan? I mean, was that just...
648 00:38:29 Your plan to cash in on the generosity of lonely people?
649 00:38:36 Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
650 00:38:40 You knocked off my nail.
651 00:38:41 I... I mean, what am I...
652 00:38:43 I'm gonna have to take them all off now,
653 00:38:44 because I'm gonna look like a crazy person
654 00:38:45 with just, like, one nail missing.
655 00:38:49 What are you...?
656 00:38:52 Oh, okay. I can...
657 00:39:23 You need, like, special nail polish remover for that.
658 00:40:06 Oh, uh, yep, yep, yep, yep.
659 00:40:07 This is a very liquid and high-yield deal.
660 00:40:09 That's right. It's a nice design. Um...
661 00:40:11 I mean, I hadn't noticed.
662 00:40:12 It's kind of chic.
663 00:40:16 I think we should give that to Stovik right now
664 00:40:18 and tell him the rest is coming. - Howdy-do.
665 00:40:20 Howdy-do. Howdy-do.
666 00:40:24 Howdy-do.
667 00:40:25 Look at this guy.
668 00:40:27 Look at...
669 00:40:31 I feel like a senator.
670 00:40:32 Ah. I love hot tubs.
671 00:40:38 What color is your bathroom?
672 00:40:40 Do you think this one will match?
673 00:40:40 This, like, smoky, coraly thing?
674 00:40:42 Stop it. You can just slide right in.
675 00:40:45 Come on in, Old Dolio.
676 00:40:47 I don't think you're supposed to get in that.
677 00:40:49 Sure, you can.
678 00:40:50 It's a dry test.
679 00:40:52 Get on in there.
680 00:40:53 Yeah. Just make yourselves comfy.
681 00:40:55 Here, let me, let me help you out.
682 00:40:57 Uh, I... I can do it. I can...
683 00:40:59 Yeah. Yeah.
684 00:41:01 Get yourselves comfortable.
685 00:41:02 Grab a seat. Plenty to choose from.
686 00:41:07 Okay, now, I want you guys to imagine
687 00:41:11 hot water right up to here.
688 00:41:13 Okay? I'll get in there with you.
689 00:41:16 Hey.
690 00:41:18 Yep. Sorry.
691 00:41:19 47 adjustable massaging heads
692 00:41:22 with targeted neck and shoulder jets.
693 00:41:25 A cascading waterfall, uh, creating a soothing ambience.
694 00:41:31 Uh, there's an ambiance.
695 00:41:34 Should I go on or...?
696 00:41:35 She's sold, right?
697 00:41:38 How much is it?
698 00:41:39 9,499. Okay?
699 00:41:41 Just $150 down and $99 a month,
700 00:41:45 with, uh, 29% APR financing.
701 00:41:48 So, you... w-we pay $150, we can walk away with it?
702 00:41:52 Yeah.
703 00:41:53 Well, not this exact one.
704 00:41:55 It has to ship from the warehouse.
705 00:41:56 But by the end of the day tomorrow.
706 00:42:02 That's 150.
707 00:42:06 Um, so if I'm not happy, uh,
708 00:42:09 I can return it at any point and get a full refund?
709 00:42:12 Well, once it's installed, you can't...
710 00:42:15 Oh, ins... yeah. Yeah, yeah. In-Installed, of course.
711 00:42:18 But if it hasn't been installed?
712 00:42:19 Then sure. Yeah.
713 00:42:21 You know, like, if it doesn't fit or if the color's off.
714 00:42:24 And, now, um, the cladding is extra.
715 00:42:27 I have a suggestion for you.
716 00:42:31 What?
717 00:42:34 Wear more clothes.
718 00:42:36 You're making everybody feel uncomfortable.
719 00:42:38 I'll get a full refund?
720 00:42:45 Okay, we got to be in and out
721 00:42:48 so we can catch the leak by 5:00.
722 00:42:50 Okay. Honestly, I'm kind of excited
723 00:42:51 because this guy is such a creep.
724 00:42:54 So, his name is Abe.
725 00:42:55 Oh, God, this feels like Mission: Impossible.
726 00:42:57 Okay. Okay, so he's what we call a no-show.
727 00:42:59 He didn't pick up his glasses,
728 00:43:01 so I had to give him a reminder call,
729 00:43:02 and when I did, he asked if I can come and deliver,
730 00:43:05 which I said normally we wouldn't do that.
731 00:43:06 But when I told him that I was bringing my family,
732 00:43:09 he, like, was crying.
733 00:43:11 Like, so desperate. It was...
734 00:43:16 It's open.
735 00:43:20 So I just... I just, um... Okay.
736 00:43:38 Hi.
737 00:43:42 I'm not feeling well,
738 00:43:44 but, please, make-make yourself at home.
739 00:44:15 That's it.
740 00:44:16 Just be how you are at home.
741 00:44:21 Just a normal day around the house.
742 00:44:27 I think he's just lonely.
743 00:44:29 Oh, he's pretending. He wants us to...
744 00:44:32 Right, like we're his family.
745 00:44:46 two strokes back right now, and the only thing...
746 00:44:48 Good. That's good.
747 00:44:50 M-My son used to watch that.
748 00:44:57 Oh, Robert, always with the sports.
749 00:44:59 Why don't you mow the lawn for once?
750 00:45:02 Nice.
751 00:45:04 Do more like that.
752 00:45:08 How was school, hon?
753 00:45:14 School was fine.
754 00:45:16 How was your day?
755 00:45:18 A little louder, please.
756 00:45:23 How was your day?
757 00:45:26 What did you do today, Mom?
758 00:45:31 That's nice... to be asked that.
759 00:45:35 You really want to know?
760 00:45:43 Wasn't easy.
761 00:45:44 None of my days are easy.
762 00:45:47 Why? What happened?
763 00:45:55 The refrigerator broke.
764 00:45:59 It's not in there.
765 00:46:00 So, uh...
766 00:46:04 You must be the refrigerator repair person.
767 00:46:08 Okay.
768 00:46:12 I bet you meet a lot of lonely women
769 00:46:14 when you're out in the field.
770 00:46:17 Repairing refrigerators.
771 00:46:24 Housewives must be throwing themselves at you, huh?
772 00:46:29 'Cause, uh...
773 00:46:32 You know, if you need tools, we have tools.
774 00:46:36 Uh, I'm just here to do a job.
775 00:46:44 Hey. Checkbook is not here.
776 00:46:46 Check his bedroom.
777 00:46:48 Come on.
778 00:46:57 This is hard.
779 00:47:05 It's like trying to fall asleep...
780 00:47:10 forever.
781 00:47:28 It sounds good.
782 00:47:30 Maybe some silverware clinking.
783 00:47:34 Or play the piano.
784 00:47:46 I think it's in there, but we have to wait.
785 00:47:48 It's 4:15.
786 00:47:49 We'll miss the leak.
787 00:47:52 He's trying to...
788 00:47:56 ...die.
789 00:47:59 But we should, we should keep on, um...
790 00:48:02 He said he wants piano playing and s-silverware clinking.
791 00:48:46 How was school, hon?
792 00:48:49 It was fine.
793 00:48:51 But I'm starving.
794 00:48:52 M-Me, too.
795 00:48:54 Would you like some leftover cake?
796 00:48:57 Okay.
797 00:49:17 He just scored?
798 00:49:18 Oh, he scored a-a one-holer.
799 00:49:26 Do you think I could have some of that?
800 00:49:28 Would you like some milk?
801 00:49:29 Please.
802 00:49:40 Thank you. Thank you.
803 00:49:42 You're welcome.
804 00:49:55 You know, I think I will mow the lawn tomorrow.
805 00:49:57 You said that last weekend.
806 00:49:59 Did I?
807 00:50:08 Maybe I'll mow the lawn.
808 00:50:10 I'll just go into the garage and get it out.
809 00:50:25 Okay.
810 00:50:27 Go check.
811 00:50:29 Go.
812 00:51:02 Am I still here?
813 00:51:10 Yeah.
814 00:51:16 You see how there's light?
815 00:51:20 You'll know because it'll be dark all around and...
816 00:51:25 quiet.
817 00:51:29 Please...
818 00:51:32 don't do anything to the house.
819 00:51:37 My kids have plans for it.
820 00:51:42 They're not bad kids.
821 00:51:46 Just busy.
822 00:52:24 Life is...
823 00:52:27 nothing.
824 00:52:31 Just let it go without really thinking about it.
825 00:52:37 Like you're letting go of a...
826 00:52:41 piece of string.
827 00:52:45 Just let it...
828 00:52:51 It's not that big of a deal.
829 00:53:25 Oh, no.
830 00:53:27 Oh, my God.
831 00:53:29 What's wrong?
832 00:53:31 What's wrong? This...
833 00:53:35 No, I-I mean...
834 00:53:36 She has tender feelings.
835 00:53:38 You wouldn't know anything about that.
836 00:53:41 I know.
837 00:53:42 Oh, there's no checkbook.
838 00:53:43 You're sad is what you are.
839 00:53:45 Huh?
840 00:53:46 I'm not gonna do this again.
841 00:53:48 And-and I don't think that we should take anything from him.
842 00:53:51 Okay, okay. So here we are.
843 00:53:52 Oh, I don't know.
844 00:53:54 Somewhere there's a checkbook in this house,
845 00:53:55 and, uh, when we find it, we're just gonna...
846 00:53:58 we're gonna cash out the whole $850 and be done with it,
847 00:54:01 because, quite frankly, I'm feeling very uncomfortable.
848 00:54:03 I've been put in an uncomfortable position, so...
849 00:54:08 Go run the buckets.
850 00:54:10 You can still make it if you take the 53, huh?
851 00:54:12 Come on, hurry. Hurry.
852 00:54:15 Oh, my...
853 00:54:17 So, I know. Okay. No, no. You sit down.
854 00:54:19 S-Sit down, and you have a glass of water and...
855 00:55:42 And your son is how old?
856 00:55:43 Three.
857 00:55:45 And his name is?
858 00:55:46 Cyrus. Cy.
859 00:55:47 Okay.
860 00:55:50 Hi, Cy.
861 00:55:54 I mean, he would, too, uh, especially with new people.
862 00:55:57 I mean, he just goes ballistic.
863 00:55:58 It's... Okay.
864 00:55:59 Okay, that's good.
865 00:56:00 So, we know now that we have
866 00:56:02 a three-year-old that tends to hit.
867 00:56:04 Okay. That's not abnormal.
868 00:56:06 So, first, I'll just observe.
869 00:56:09 - Okay? - All right.
870 00:56:15 Are you... hungry?
871 00:56:18 Mm, no.
872 00:56:20 Are you tired?
873 00:56:24 Mm... no.
874 00:56:29 You look excited, Cy.
875 00:56:31 Are you excited to see the other children?
876 00:56:33 - Do you just need some of their attention? - Yeah.
877 00:56:36 Yeah! Okay.
878 00:56:37 And sometimes that's enough.
879 00:56:39 Just verbalizing the need is enough.
880 00:56:42 A three-year-old that wants attention...
881 00:56:44 not unreasonable, right?
882 00:56:54 Old Dolio.
883 00:57:01 You should... well, if you want to.
884 00:57:08 She might do one more.
885 00:57:11 No.
886 00:57:18 How about we do it together?
887 00:57:29 Maybe you get the party started.
888 00:57:38 I'll just go, uh, check the-the front.
889 00:57:43 Okay.
890 00:57:48 I don't think Old Dolio likes me.
891 00:57:49 Oh. No, she-she, she doesn't like anyone.
892 00:57:54 She's not like that.
893 00:57:57 And your daughter's name is?
894 00:58:00 Old Dolio.
895 00:58:02 Uh, Old...?
896 00:58:03 Dolio. We named her after a homeless guy
897 00:58:06 who won the lottery, hoping he'd put her in his will.
898 00:58:10 But Old Dolio... the old Old Dolio...
899 00:58:14 used up all his money at the very end
900 00:58:15 on experimental cancer stuff.
901 00:58:19 Mm. Okay.
902 00:58:23 And your daughter is...?
903 00:58:32 She doesn't know anything about tender feelings.
904 00:58:41 Hi, Old Dolio.
905 00:58:46 Okay, so I'm just gonna observe.
906 00:58:53 Are you feeling stressed?
907 00:58:58 Hmm, no. No.
908 00:59:04 Do you want to hold my hand?
909 00:59:07 No? Okay.
910 00:59:09 Okay. Hmm.
911 00:59:13 Your hair has gotten so long.
912 00:59:15 It's beautiful, hon.
913 00:59:18 Can I brush it?
914 00:59:44 It's just a tremor. It's okay.
915 00:59:45 You're... It's okay.
916 00:59:47 You're okay with me.
917 01:00:01 Here, let's, uh, warm it up a little bit.
918 01:00:04 Is there...?
919 01:00:05 Oh, uh, there's a drain.
920 01:00:07 It can drain. There's a drain under there.
921 01:00:09 On the floor. In the floor.
922 01:00:13 So are you gonna return it or sell it and then return it?
923 01:00:17 Or what do you want?
924 01:00:18 It's better with the light off.
925 01:00:38 Let's take a bath.
926 01:00:45 Are you surprised?
927 01:00:49 Maybe you didn't know that I-I felt this way.
928 01:00:51 No.
929 01:00:53 I'm the least surprised I've ever been in my life.
930 01:00:59 So what's the plan?
931 01:01:02 You'll watch me undress, and then you'll start
932 01:01:03 getting your dick hard, then I'll get in?
933 01:01:10 Well?
934 01:01:12 Come on.
935 01:01:18 So, what were you picturing?
936 01:01:22 - Soapy titties? - Sure.
937 01:01:24 Yeah? Sure.
938 01:01:28 Does this work?
939 01:01:29 No, right? Of course it doesn't work.
940 01:01:31 Why would it work?
941 01:01:32 Nothing works here.
942 01:01:34 Pathetic.
943 01:01:38 So, titty fuck?
944 01:01:40 - Oh, that got your attention. - Knock, knock.
945 01:01:47 We want this to be about your pleasure, too.
946 01:01:49 Oh, yeah.
947 01:01:51 Well, what makes you feel good?
948 01:01:57 Uh, Melanie, uh, let's not... - Listen, uh...
949 01:01:59 - Just... let's just... - We-We're, we're surprised.
950 01:02:01 - Time for a snack, all right? - I think, I think...
951 01:02:18 - What? - What?
952 01:02:22 What are you guys doing?
953 01:02:27 Why-why are there crackers on a plate?
954 01:02:32 Don't go, hon.
955 01:02:35 "Hon"?
956 01:02:41 You just...
957 01:02:43 You've never called me that.
958 01:02:45 I have.
959 01:02:46 I have called you that.
960 01:02:48 Oh?
961 01:02:50 Call me "hon," then.
962 01:02:53 What is that? Hmm?
963 01:02:54 What is this? "Newborn to 18 years."
964 01:02:57 You can't do it.
965 01:02:59 I bet you could if it was a job, though, right?
966 01:03:12 $1,575 to call me "hon."
967 01:03:16 Oh, three-way split.
968 01:03:19 It's 525 each.
969 01:03:23 I don't want to do it that way this time.
970 01:03:34 It's one word. Just say it.
971 01:03:38 You could just say it.
972 01:03:42 I can't just say it.
973 01:03:45 We... don't call you "hon"
974 01:03:50 or "sweetheart" or "baby."
975 01:03:52 We don't wrap up little birthday presents with ribbons.
976 01:03:57 - I-I don't want... - Yes.
977 01:03:59 That's what you want.
978 01:04:03 And-and what else? Hmm?
979 01:04:04 Want me to put you on my abdomen?
980 01:04:10 Make pancakes?
981 01:04:12 And you want me to do a little dance?
982 01:04:14 - No. - Yes.
983 01:04:16 You want us to be false, fakey people.
984 01:04:21 Hmm?
985 01:04:30 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
986 01:04:32 I'll do it.
987 01:04:36 I'll call you "hon" for $1,575.
988 01:04:47 Keep walking.
989 01:04:49 Keep walking. Keep walking.
990 01:05:12 A lot of stuff.
991 01:05:14 Yeah. Yeah.
992 01:05:28 What's this?
993 01:05:30 Uh, it's a... it's a mug warmer.
994 01:05:34 A lot of the times, my mom will buy two of something
995 01:05:36 and just send me one.
996 01:05:57 It's Wednesday.
997 01:05:58 Wednesday it leaks three times 'cause of sanitation.
998 01:06:02 It's... it's really a three-person job.
999 01:06:08 It's all over the floor now.
1000 01:06:10 They'll be calling any second.
1001 01:06:17 Just after they put the buckets down.
1002 01:06:33 Okay, uh...
1003 01:06:36 thank you or whatever.
1004 01:06:38 Um, here.
1005 01:06:40 This should cover that.
1006 01:06:42 Unless you bought it in bulk... I don't know.
1007 01:06:45 Y-You don't pay for...
1008 01:06:50 Okay.
1009 01:06:53 You're jonesing.
1010 01:06:54 What?
1011 01:06:57 You're addicted to them.
1012 01:07:01 My cousin Timothy...
1013 01:07:02 when he was trying to kick pills, he would be fine,
1014 01:07:04 and then he would have this sudden wave
1015 01:07:06 of needing them really bad.
1016 01:07:11 Well, I think this is a little different
1017 01:07:14 because they're my parents.
1018 01:07:15 In what sense?
1019 01:07:17 What?
1020 01:07:20 In what sense are they your parents?
1021 01:07:22 What's an example?
1022 01:07:29 We split everything three ways.
1023 01:07:32 We have since I was little.
1024 01:07:33 What do you spend yours on?
1025 01:07:37 Your third.
1026 01:07:39 W-We go in on everything equally.
1027 01:07:42 Actually, that's another example.
1028 01:07:46 That makes two things.
1029 01:07:55 Aren't you forgetting something?
1030 01:08:04 Hon.
1031 01:08:06 Oh, hon.
1032 01:08:11 My sweetheart.
1033 01:08:15 My sweet baby.
1034 01:08:26 There's a check cashing place across the street.
1035 01:08:47 Oh, so you're just gonna go...?
1036 01:08:49 Home.
1037 01:08:55 W-Wait.
1038 01:08:56 You thought I was gonna take this much for...?
1039 01:09:01 This is a full-service deal.
1040 01:09:05 Uh... so...
1041 01:09:09 "We don't call you 'hon,'
1042 01:09:12 'sweetheart' or 'baby.'"
1043 01:09:16 Did that.
1044 01:09:18 "We don't make..."
1045 01:09:21 Pancakes?
1046 01:09:23 We don't have to...
1047 01:09:24 You can just take it.
1048 01:09:26 What was that thing that she said
1049 01:09:28 about putting you on her abdomen?
1050 01:09:30 Oh, it's-it's called a breast crawl.
1051 01:09:31 It's not...
1052 01:09:33 Uh, do a little dance?
1053 01:09:36 I don't know why she said that.
1054 01:09:38 Have you ever danced?
1055 01:09:40 Yeah.
1056 01:09:45 Birthdays?
1057 01:09:46 Birthday presents wrapped up with a bow.
1058 01:09:48 Look, let's not...
1059 01:09:50 So when we've done these things,
1060 01:09:52 then I want my money and you can go.
1061 01:09:55 I have to get pancake stuff for the morning.
1062 01:09:58 The morning?
1063 01:09:59 They're a morning thing.
1064 01:10:09 There's a camera there,
1065 01:10:11 there and there.
1066 01:10:15 All Super A security systems are on a pentagram,
1067 01:10:17 so you have to move between the points.
1068 01:10:21 Basically, all the odd-numbered aisles are free goods.
1069 01:10:27 I'm buying this stuff, so...
1070 01:10:32 Yeah.
1071 01:10:33 It's just an... interesting fact.
1072 01:10:50 Is that okay?
1073 01:10:54 Oh. Do you want to... I have pajamas.
1074 01:10:56 No. I'm good.
1075 01:11:00 What are you doing?
1076 01:11:02 What do you mean?
1077 01:11:05 What are...
1078 01:11:07 Are you trying to...
1079 01:11:09 rile me up?
1080 01:11:26 How does this even work?
1081 01:11:27 I can't...
1082 01:11:57 Here's what I would do: just one big one.
1083 01:12:00 It's less flipping.
1084 01:12:03 Yeah, but l-little things are... Like, it-it's fun.
1085 01:12:06 You just stack them. Boop.
1086 01:12:10 Most happiness comes from, like, dumb things.
1087 01:12:13 Okay.
1088 01:12:20 Okay, uh, so...
1089 01:12:23 that's that.
1090 01:12:24 What's, uh... I don't...
1091 01:12:28 Oh, that.
1092 01:12:30 I could just crawl out of a dark space to do that.
1093 01:12:32 That's fine.
1094 01:12:34 So, it'll be all dark, and then I'll crawl out.
1095 01:12:37 The light will be blinding.
1096 01:12:39 And this is the abdomen.
1097 01:12:41 And then we're done.
1098 01:12:43 I know a place that's darker than this.
1099 01:12:45 This is fine. It'll work.
1100 01:12:46 It's not gonna take long.
1101 01:12:51 Oh, we're right by the 7.
1102 01:12:54 You could just drop me on the way back.
1103 01:13:13 This is the...
1104 01:13:34 Light's broken.
1105 01:13:43 Well, it's... it's dark, but...
1106 01:13:46 but this was so far.
1107 01:13:47 We could've been done by now.
1108 01:13:50 Exactly.
1109 01:13:52 Okay, so I guess I'll crawl out and...
1110 01:13:56 It's just a tremor.
1111 01:13:58 No. This one is...
1112 01:14:00 This one is building.
1113 01:14:01 Whoa! It's happening!
1114 01:14:03 - Out. Get out. - No! No, no, no, no.
1115 01:14:05 Don't touch the door or the walls.
1116 01:14:07 Everything is live. Just stay in the middle.
1117 01:14:23 - Is the doorknob... - It's metal. It's live.
1118 01:14:25 Don't touch it. Don't touch.
1119 01:14:31 It's so quiet.
1120 01:14:33 I don't hear anyone.
1121 01:14:36 It is quiet.
1122 01:14:37 Why is it so quiet?
1123 01:14:40 It's darker.
1124 01:14:41 It was dark before.
1125 01:14:42 No, it's completely black.
1126 01:14:46 Oh, my God.
1127 01:14:47 What?
1128 01:14:52 Oh. What?
1129 01:14:53 You don't want to know.
1130 01:14:58 We're not in life anymore.
1131 01:15:00 - What? - Yeah.
1132 01:15:02 I think it happened right away.
1133 01:15:03 Right after that first big noise.
1134 01:15:05 - It? - We died.
1135 01:15:07 Wh... I'm fine. I...
1136 01:15:09 That's what everyone always says right after.
1137 01:15:11 They can't believe it.
1138 01:15:13 You might never believe it, but this is just how it's gonna be.
1139 01:15:17 Forever.
1140 01:15:18 Just us.
1141 01:15:19 - In blackness. - Stop. That's not...
1142 01:15:21 You can't believe it
1143 01:15:22 because you were married to life.
1144 01:15:24 Hooked on it.
1145 01:15:26 I wasn't hooked, so it's not such a big deal to me.
1146 01:15:28 - It would hurt. - I don't think so.
1147 01:15:30 Please. Stop.
1148 01:15:32 I can feel my face.
1149 01:15:33 Yeah. That's just a memory.
1150 01:15:47 I don't have any regrets.
1151 01:15:50 You're gonna have regrets, though,
1152 01:15:52 because you're gonna miss sex and dancing and pancakes.
1153 01:15:58 I just had that one pancake, so I'm not gonna be sad.
1154 01:16:02 You-you looked in the mirror so many times
1155 01:16:03 you'll miss your face forever.
1156 01:16:05 But I-I don't even...
1157 01:16:06 I-I don't even remember my face.
1158 01:16:08 I can't even say what I looked like.
1159 01:16:14 You had long, sandy blond hair...
1160 01:16:16 - Shh. ... - ice blue eyes and...
1161 01:16:17 Stop. Shh.
1162 01:16:19 - Just doesn't matter. - And pure skin.
1163 01:16:22 You know I was just trying to rob you.
1164 01:16:24 No.
1165 01:16:25 You're such a stupid little idiot,
1166 01:16:27 and your brain is in your tits!
1167 01:16:29 The plan was for me to go, and then...
1168 01:16:32 and-and stake out your apartment
1169 01:16:34 and-and get access to your account...
1170 01:16:52 You guys fine?
1171 01:16:55 Yeah. Are you?
1172 01:16:56 Yeah.
1173 01:16:57 I was, I was driving.
1174 01:17:00 Everyone stopped. It was crazy.
1175 01:17:01 We thought we were dead.
1176 01:17:03 I didn't think that.
1177 01:17:04 I'm Old Dolio.
1178 01:17:05 It's wonderful to meet you.
1179 01:17:07 God bless you.
1180 01:17:08 Okay, I'm-I'm not religious, but, uh...
1181 01:17:10 No, I'm-I'm not, either.
1182 01:17:12 I've never said that before in my life.
1183 01:17:14 How about this?
1184 01:17:16 Right? You think that was the big one?
1185 01:17:18 Uh, I don't know.
1186 01:17:19 - I don't think that. - No, it was.
1187 01:17:21 That was it.
1188 01:17:23 Thank you.
1189 01:17:25 - Thank you. - Oh. Right.
1190 01:17:26 This is, this is done.
1191 01:17:28 Uh... I'm never gonna forget you.
1192 01:17:31 My whole life.
1193 01:17:34 This... this Subaru.
1194 01:17:40 I've memorized all of this.
1195 01:17:41 Okay, can we...
1196 01:17:53 You guys okay?
1197 01:17:55 Yes. How are you?
1198 01:17:57 Oh, I'm fine.
1199 01:17:59 Yeah, these are great structures for quakes.
1200 01:18:02 Since we're open 24 hours, we got to be ready for anything.
1201 01:18:05 Have you tried everything in this store?
1202 01:18:07 Nope.
1203 01:18:08 That's what I would do if I worked here.
1204 01:18:10 It's not too late.
1205 01:18:11 You can try everything once and then isolate your favorites
1206 01:18:15 and-and just eat them on a perfect day
1207 01:18:17 where you just eat all your favorite foods.
1208 01:18:20 That's what I would do if I worked here.
1209 01:18:24 So, do you apply?
1210 01:18:26 Or how does that work?
1211 01:18:27 Do you have to take special training
1212 01:18:29 or-or a class or something?
1213 01:18:39 Yes! Yes!
1214 01:18:41 Come in! Come in!
1215 01:18:49 I'm gonna, I'm gonna pop this.
1216 01:18:52 That's how you open it, right?
1217 01:18:53 You just... pop.
1218 01:19:01 Okay, that comes to 29.83.
1219 01:19:07 That's my money.
1220 01:19:11 So, no sale, actually.
1221 01:19:13 Uh, should I put all this back?
1222 01:19:16 I'm-I'm just gonna... I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave.
1223 01:19:18 I'm gonna... Okay.
1224 01:19:23 You know, I-I didn't even...
1225 01:19:25 I forgot about that whole thing.
1226 01:19:28 Did you forget about robbing me?
1227 01:19:31 You forget that you wanted to rob me?
1228 01:19:33 Wanted to gain access to my account, remember?
1229 01:19:36 My brain is in my tits?
1230 01:19:38 No.
1231 01:19:40 Th-That was just, that was just a lie.
1232 01:19:44 Y-You don't believe me.
1233 01:19:46 No, I believe you.
1234 01:19:48 You don't.
1235 01:19:50 Well, what do I do? Okay.
1236 01:19:52 - What can I... - The ringer was off.
1237 01:19:54 - I'm fine, Mom. - You're okay.
1238 01:19:55 - You're okay? - Yeah, I'm okay. - Uh, here.
1239 01:19:57 I'll... You want me to... Oh, my God.
1240 01:19:58 - I'll smash my finger with this! - Are you all right?
1241 01:20:01 - I'll do it! Right. - That was big.
1242 01:20:02 I called the second I heard.
1243 01:20:04 - I've been calling and calling and... - Come back.
1244 01:20:06 - I'm sorry. - Oh, my heart is still pounding.
1245 01:20:08 I don't know what to do.
1246 01:20:09 - It was just so... - I don't know what to do.
1247 01:20:11 - What do I do? What do I do? - I could use a squeeze.
1248 01:20:14 - Squeeze, squeeze, Mama. - I don't know what to do.
1249 01:20:15 I'm sorry. I...
1250 01:20:17 What is...
1251 01:20:19 What is that behind you?
1252 01:20:24 Maybe you should...
1253 01:20:27 -Okay. -Okay.
1254 01:21:06 Thank you for waiting.
1255 01:21:07 Someone will be with you shortly.
1256 01:21:09 They never pick up, so...
1257 01:21:22 You don't have to do it if you don't want to.
1258 01:21:24 It's like, if you don't...
1259 01:22:14 Old Dolio? Can you hear us?
1260 01:22:18 We've been, we've been calling and calling and calling.
1261 01:22:20 That was it.
1262 01:22:22 It was the big one.
1263 01:22:23 You okay?
1264 01:22:30 You're not ready to talk yet.
1265 01:22:32 That's okay.
1266 01:22:36 Just leave them here.
1267 01:22:37 I am. Okay.
1268 01:22:40 Bye-bye.
1269 01:23:29 "Happy birthday.
1270 01:23:30 Our little girl is 14. Love..."
1271 01:23:48 Newborn.
1272 01:23:49 One, two, three, four, five, six,
1273 01:23:54 seven, eight, nine, ten,
1274 01:23:55 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17.
1275 01:24:02 Where's the 18th one?
1276 01:24:06 This is crap.
1277 01:24:07 You know they're just...
1278 01:24:08 I know it's some kind of job.
1279 01:24:10 They're scamming me.
1280 01:24:16 "Happy birthday.
1281 01:24:17 Our little girl is 18.
1282 01:24:19 Cordially invite..."
1283 01:24:25 They want to take me out to dinner.
1284 01:24:27 Both of us.
1285 01:24:30 At Mélisse.
1286 01:24:33 It's for my 18th birthday.
1287 01:24:35 Is it your birthday?
1288 01:24:37 No. And I'm 26.
1289 01:24:44 Don't go, right?
1290 01:24:46 I have to. No.
1291 01:24:47 No, no, no. You actually... But you don't. You...
1292 01:24:52 Then leave the money here.
1293 01:24:53 Just to make sure that they don't...
1294 01:25:06 They think I don't know anything
1295 01:25:08 about a sort of fancy restaurant like that.
1296 01:25:10 Well, we're gonna walk in there and they're gonna be like,
1297 01:25:12 "Whoa. Who even are you now?"
1298 01:25:26 Hi. We're meeting two others.
1299 01:25:27 Could be under Dyne.
1300 01:25:31 They're probably gonna be late. It's three bus rides.
1301 01:25:37 Nope.
1302 01:25:45 I usually like to sit more in the back,
1303 01:25:48 but this table's fine.
1304 01:25:52 Thank you.
1305 01:25:56 Can I start you off with some drinks?
1306 01:25:58 Uh, yes.
1307 01:26:01 I'll have, uh... Do you still have the port?
1308 01:26:04 The Colheita or the tawny 20-year?
1309 01:26:06 Um, the, uh, the-the Colheita.
1310 01:26:12 I-I guess I'll... I will have
1311 01:26:16 um, the "Golaca..."
1312 01:26:20 Uh, actually, nothing. Water.
1313 01:26:30 Oh, isn't that the woman who gave you the massage?
1314 01:26:34 Oh, hi.
1315 01:26:37 Hi.
1316 01:26:40 The healing arts.
1317 01:26:42 That's a solid profession.
1318 01:26:44 People are always in pain.
1319 01:26:47 So, what do your parents do, Melanie?
1320 01:26:49 My mom works in real estate.
1321 01:26:52 Oh, Robert used to...
1322 01:26:53 I used to publish a, uh,
1323 01:26:55 resource guide for real estate agents.
1324 01:26:56 Yeah. With coupons.
1325 01:26:58 We were straight shooters back then.
1326 01:27:00 I mean, if we're being completely honest, we...
1327 01:27:02 Well, it was tough times.
1328 01:27:04 And, you know, the coupon book didn't really take.
1329 01:27:09 Well, we were reacting to the era.
1330 01:27:11 Uh, everybody was.
1331 01:27:13 Could I see the coupon book?
1332 01:27:14 Of course, then the culture changed,
1333 01:27:16 and so now we look sort of out of step.
1334 01:27:19 Oh, maybe it'll change back.
1335 01:27:46 It's returnable.
1336 01:27:54 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1337 01:27:57 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1338 01:28:00 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Old Dolio ♪
1339 01:28:04 ♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪
1340 01:28:29 36 hours ago, I...
1341 01:28:31 Sorry.
1342 01:28:33 We were very angry at you.
1343 01:28:37 But, um, I see now that it was just a base response.
1344 01:28:42 It was just fear, really.
1345 01:28:45 Just fear.
1346 01:28:46 And then, after the big one happened, I...
1347 01:28:55 This is hard.
1348 01:28:57 I'm not good at this.
1349 01:29:00 After the... I... we got very worried.
1350 01:29:05 We didn't think you were dead,
1351 01:29:06 but if you were dead...
1352 01:29:10 I would have regretted not...
1353 01:29:15 ...doing enough things to show you...
1354 01:29:19 See, because, I don't know, I just...
1355 01:29:22 um, I just... I always thought it was insulting
1356 01:29:24 to treat you like a child.
1357 01:29:26 It just, it just always seemed so insincere.
1358 01:29:29 And-and I thought we agreed on that.
1359 01:29:31 You know?
1360 01:29:33 Um, but when, um...
1361 01:29:37 after the...
1362 01:29:40 the thing I just kept thinking is I just want to,
1363 01:29:42 I just want to hold her face.
1364 01:29:47 We've been very lucky to have you.
1365 01:29:53 Oh, God.
1366 01:30:03 We are very, very lucky to have you as our daughter.
1367 01:30:08 I'm sorry.
1368 01:30:10 I'm just sorry.
1369 01:30:14 Hey.
1370 01:30:18 Good night, sweet daughter.
1371 01:30:22 Have sweet dreams.
1372 01:30:25 Um, in the morning, if you want, uh...
1373 01:30:30 I can make pancakes.
1374 01:30:35 T-Tomorrow's Friday.
1375 01:30:36 The check.
1376 01:30:38 We cashed it, but we haven't spent it.
1377 01:30:40 Don't worry about the rent.
1378 01:30:42 We're the parents.
1379 01:30:44 We'll handle it.
1380 01:30:46 We've got a plan.
1381 01:30:50 Okay.
1382 01:30:52 Um, I guess I'll s...
1383 01:30:56 ...see you tomorrow.
1384 01:30:58 Yeah. Yep.
1385 01:31:14 So, if it's gone,
1386 01:31:16 they're monsters and this whole night was a lie.
1387 01:31:20 Okay?
1388 01:31:21 But if it's there, then this is all real.
1389 01:31:27 You'll believe that.
1390 01:31:32 Wait, wait. Um...
1391 01:31:36 If it's just my third, 525...
1392 01:31:41 ...then that means...
1393 01:31:46 We can only ever be how we are.
1394 01:31:54 But we love you and, um...
1395 01:32:00 ...we wish you well."
1396 01:32:21 It's all there.
1397 01:32:49 I'll probably take off early tomorrow before you're up.
1398 01:32:57 Thank you for everything.
1399 01:33:00 Really.
1400 01:33:04 No problem.
1401 01:34:35 So what?
1402 01:36:34 What?
1403 01:37:17 Okay, so your refund comes to 485.05.
